Q Magazine Atlanta | November 29, 2018

The Q ueer Agenda of HOLIDAY HAPPENINGS

inform | inspire

November 29, 2018

Give & Receive Atlanta’s best LGBTQ Gift Guide

Sabrina, Super Drags: STILL SO FAR TO GO Self-Love Toward A BETTER SEX LIFE Square Off in Game of ‘WOULD YOU RATHER?’

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Q Shots The Q 10 Queer Things Q Voices

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM

GIVE to Get Generosity now and all year is the best gift we can give ourselves

NOW THAT THANKSGIVING HAS GIVEN WAY to a full-court press on the holiday season, Q magazine is making a list and checking it twice this week — for queer gift ideas, yes, but for even better LGBTQ seasonal spirit.

Love it or loathe, it, giving is a priority for many people this time of year, but it’s also a privilege. Sharing the wealth with organizations that make the LGBTQATL a better place is a good place to start if you’re able, not to mention all the good feelings and even better karma you’re setting in motion.

ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER MARK S. KING HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

Speaking of which, everyone can give of themselves, even if material resources aren’t plentiful for you. Show interest in another person, flattering an aspect of their personality or taste that you genuinely admire. What you get back comes ten-fold, and spoiler alert: This holds true all year long.

Bottom line: We receive by giving. Of course, good karma also sets off a year-round effect for all of those around us as well, from our inner circles to the larger network of queers depending on each other for support and for moving the movement forward one decent change at a time.

Progress is on the mind of our Q Voices columnist this week as well. Ian Aber is chilling with Netflix and frankly finds it a little lacking. For all the supposed progress in LGBTQ representation on television, the feminist phenom The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina prioritizes one movement at the expense of queerness, weaponizing same-sex attraction for dramatic effect. Bad witch. Even the queer-led Super Drags stoops to the basest stereotypes, and calling it out is how Ian thinks we can all do better.

Of course, you can give of yourself to yourself too. 10 Queer Things solves many of your dilemmas with a simple game of Either/Or that I personally find helpful in some of life’s tightest spots. Our advice column The Q offers tips on how self-love can improve your sex life. And you’d have nothing to give at all if life was all work and no play, so of course give freely from this week’s packed Queer Agenda calendar of LGBTQ events.

Now about that Q Gift Guide. It’s massive, y’all. Dozens of options in Home, Fashion, Jewelry, Tech, Stocking Stuffers and even Adult Novelties await from local retailers as well as international queer and queer-friendly outlets. To expand the options even more, our advertisers pepper you with their suggestions throughout the Gift Guide pages as well.

So from Project Q Atlanta and Q magazine, welcome to the holidays in LGBTQ Atlanta. May your generosity of spirit be the best thing you give — and get — this year. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 2 ISSUE 3 NOVEMBER 29, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS Good Choices

COVER

15 10

Give It Up Queer Holiday Gift Guide

Q VOICES

13 8

35 Sisters & Misters

Bad Witch

Where Netflix got it wrong THE QUEER AGENDA

13

What to Do

38 Latin Night

The week’s best bets for LGBTQ events

FEATURES Q Voices

10 Queer Things

10

Q Shots

35

Queer Agenda The Q 6

8

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43 Patio Heifers

Q

VOICES

Chilling

HOMOPHOBIA

‘Sabrina,’ ‘Super Drags’ and still a ways to go

POP CULTURE CAN BE A MINEFIELD FOR QUEER people. Sure, to some, it is our birthright, and we consume it with fervor. To others, our consumption is tied to the way we perceive the world. Pop culture is often where we find ourselves represented before we venture into the world to meet actual members of our tribe. The characters and stories we find that motivate us are the mythologies upon which we build our identities.

As queerness becomes more visible, it is changing the landscape of pop culture as well. The phenomenon that is RuPaul’s Drag Race is the tip of the queer spear piercing the mainstream heteronormative patina, and there is more representation of queer people in mainstream pop culture than ever.

With more representation comes good and bad examples, often within the same show.

carves out a path for herself as an empowered modern woman combatting the constraints of an antiquated mold.

In that the creators of the show are successful and wildly inclusive in their representation of pansexuality and polyamory, they do remind us of the perils of being queer or even being perceived as queer — even in this fantastical world. In one of the “chilling adventures,” Sabrina addresses bullies who antagonize and ultimately assault one of Sabrina’s friends who presents gender nonconforming.

Sabrina’s retaliation is to lure the bullies, four popular football players, to a remote location and use magic to make them think they are making out with Sabrina and her sexy witch friends.

But they are revealed to actually be making out with each other as Sabrina takes pictures of them. The pretense of the show being a progressive feminist allegory slips as Sabrina essentially blackmails these presumed heterosexuals with the threat of telling everyone that they are gay.

Considering the historical precedence of this type of blackmail occurring to real queer people, it leaves a bitter taste for the rest of the series.

Maybe it represents how modern white feminism has its own failings in how it intersects with queer people. Maybe it’s meant to show that by weaponizing queer expressions of intimacy, co-opting other minority struggles ultimately hurts those communities as their voices are being prioritized behind those of white women... but I doubt it!

IAN ABER Take Netf lix’s Super Drags. Please. Take it out back and put it out of its misery. In a You almost forget about this storyline completely until two of collision of nerd and queer culture, within the first few the bullies surface again towards the end of the series and again minutes of the show, a drag queen stops to grab the albeit try to harass Susie. This time, the threat to reveal their secrets ample crotch of an unconscious man, thus setting the cringe stops them cold. Their secrets — one was molested as a child worthy tone of the entire series. and the other is secretly in love with the other boy — double down on the use of fear and shame that has historically been a Here’s a show that thinks it’s helping but ultimately portrays weapon to silence and control queer people. queer people as vapid, preening, ageist imbeciles that can’t help but succumb to their craven cock lust at any given moment — all of it played for laughs. I know some are thinking “I know a lot of queens like that,” and that is fair, but are all queens you know like that? Because that is the world of the show. It reinforces the most negative stereotypes about ourselves but is dressed up in drag and sold as an empowerment story.

Another recent Netflix offering does better with queer representation in some areas, and much worse in others. In The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina, there is an underlying feminist power in the face of a smothering patriarchy. The premise is that witches are real, and in exchange for supernatural powers, they pledge servitude to a Dark Lord. Sabrina bucks this tradition and 8

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I’m not siding with the bullies in the story. I am taking issue with the punishment. To see same-sex intimacy weaponized as a tool of heteronormative patriarchal oppression in a show being praised for its feminism is disappointing.

It will ultimately take queer people telling these stories, being in the writing room on shows, that will have the biggest effect on reflecting our lives and struggles. Until then, we need to identify the negative representation and be vocal about it. Until then, I’ll keep watching and clocking.

Ian Aber is a comedian, columnist and pop culture enthusiast in Atlanta. He is both a good witch and bad witch.

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

Deciding wrongly or never deciding?

The benefit of a doubt or skepticism?

Failing or not trying?

Which is WORSE?

By Mike Fleming

In the would-you-rather queer battle between courage of convictions vs. fear of being wrong, err on the side of action Loving and losing or not loving at all?

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Speaking up and being rejected or remaining silent?

Acting on your convictions, or on your reputation?

Crossing the line or staring at the line for your whole life?

Too much faith or too much fear?

Doing or wondering?

Hating what you see, or having nothing to see?

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VOICES OF NOTE presents DONALD MILTON III, ARTISTIC DIRECTOR 2018 — 2019 SEASON

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

SATURDAY, DEC. 1

November 29 - December 5

Water Polo Tournament

THURSDAY, NOV. 29

The LGBTQ group Atlanta Rainbow Trout

hosts teams from across the country, and spectators

Atlanta United Playoffs Watch Party

get in free @ Georgia Tech Recreation Complex, 11:30 a.m.

LGBTQ fan group All Stripes cheers

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the home team in their quest for the

MLS Cup during this away game on

Red Dress Tea Dance

TV @ Georgia Beer Garden, 6:30 p.m.

With World AIDS Day as inspo,

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the dress code is obvious, and the giving back is just what

FRIDAY, NOV. 30

you’d expect with Atlanta

#StopHIVATL World AIDS Day Breakfast

Sisters of Perpetual Indul-

The Fulton County Board of Health’s Sexual

gence @ BJ Roosters, 2 p.m.

Health Promotion unit hosts this first-annual

– 5 p.m. atlsisters.org

gathering to commemorate World AIDS Day with food, leaders and inspirational guests @ Carter Center, 9 a.m. stophivatl.org

Mary’s 20th Anniversary Not many gay bars can

say there’s no other like

it in the world, much

less for two decades

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rock and roll gay bar that can @ Mary’s, 9 p.m. marysatlanta.com Take Em Off

THURSDAY, NOV. 29 Fur Ball Masquerade Glamorous masks top your black tieoptional look to benefit the gay-led and gay-beloved Pets Are Loving Support @ Fox Theatre Egyptian Ballroom, 7 p.m. palsatlanta.org

The Kinsey Sicks The queer band of long-standing performs from its latest “Things You Shouldn’t Say” record and are hosted by the LGBTQ Congregation Bet Haverim @ Saint Mark UMC, 8 p.m. congregationbethaverim.org

Local transman, barber and queer inspiration Frankie Edwards raises

money for top surgery with performances, raffles, t-shirt sales and a good time for all @ Metropolitan Studios, 9 p.m. metropolitanstudioseav.com

SATURDAY, DEC. 1 Naughty or Nice

FRIDAY, NOV. 30 Daddy Issues

Mining masc stereotypes for

inspo and them turning them on

their ears, join DJs Vicki Powell and

Saturnalia throws its latest theme party for the holidays with DJ Brett Oosterhaus @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

Meet the hosts at theQatl.com.

Sindri @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

TUESDAY, DEC. 4 Walk & Talk

The newly reconceived Belong group (formerly Rainbros) gets some fresh air and exercise @ Piedmont Park 14th Street Entrance, 6 p.m. belong.lgbt

Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com.

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Give & Get We’re here, we’re queer and we’re throwing down holiday giving ideas Compiled by Mike Fleming

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Q

GIFT GUIDE, Continued Funky Furniture From $25 Lost N Found Thrift lnfy.org

Tea Towel ‘My Safe Word is Takeout’ $12 brushstrokesatlanta.com

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Original Art

By Patty Young & Others From $250 Wild Oats & Billy Goats City of Decatur wildoatsandbillygoats.com

Zachary Toth Photography Wall Art & Event Shots Now on display at Guac & Margys ztothphoto.com

Gourmet Oils & Vinegars Bottles from $13.50, Sets from $37 Splash of Olive City of Decatur splasholive.com

Antiques Decades to Centuries Old Furniture, Rugs, Art, China, Novelties, Accessories antiquesandbeyond.com

Oven Mitt ‘My Favorite Salad Is Wine’ $15 brushstrokesatlanta.com

Original Decorative Arts From $10 Homegrown City of Decatur homegrowndecatur.com

American Spirit Whiskey Georgia Heartwood Single Barrel 750 ml $70 towerspirits.com theQatl.com

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Q

GIFT GUIDE, Continued

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Thrift Treasures From $5 Lost N Found Thrift lnfy.org

Bryn Walker Tunic Dresses Boutique Karma City of Decatur $115 shopboutiquekarma.com

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GIFT GUIDE, Continued John Varvatos Rings Sterling Silver $589 -$889 worthmorejewelers.com

Rainbow Accessories Hamilton Boulton Watches

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From $425 worthmorejewelers.com

Jewels

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Where Queer Atlanta Shops Great gifts for everyone, naughty or nice, on your list!

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Q

GIFT GUIDE, Continued

Gifts

UpCountry Collar/Leash Sets

for PETS

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Crypton Business Buddy Poop Bag Roll Carrier $13 brushstrokesatlanta.com

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GIFT GUIDE, Continued

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Mad Style Texting Gloves From $8 brushstrokesatlanta.com

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Q

GIFT GUIDE, Continued

Leather Caps Custom from $89 barkingleather.com

Naughty NOVELTIES Leather Harness & Jock Harness shown from $160 barkingleather.com

Clubhouse Memberships $25 for 6 months manifest4u.org

Hat & Harness Ball Weights from $20 brushstrokesatlanta.com

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X-Strap Harness from $160 Custom Hats from $89 barkingleather.com

Q

GIFT GUIDE, Continued

Stocking STUFFERS

December Diamonds Ornaments From $14 brushstrokesatlanta.com

Greeting Cards Seven Styles, Custom Card Stock & Messaging From $81 for 50 Count mycreativeapproach.com

True Colors Cava 750 ml $16 towerspirits.com

Quotable Mugs ‘You Rock’ From $11 brushstrokesatlanta.com

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Grooming

Home

Movies

Calendars

Adult Accessories

QUEER AF AT MY SISTER’S ROOM

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

DIVERTIDOS! AT HERETIC

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

Q SHOTS

BULLDOGS BAR PICS

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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Project Q Atlanta

HEIFER REVIEW AT COWTIPPERS

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

MANSHAFT AT HERETIC

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

The Club Where Men Do It! Open Thursday - Sunday at 9pm

Q

THEQ?!

I Touch

MYSELF

Pleasuring our way past sexual hang-ups

Q

I love sex as much as the next lesbian. Show me a girl, and right or wrong, I decide within milliseconds what she looks like naked, whether or not I’d do her, and how it would be if I did.

The “how it would be” is where I run into problems. I may be too specific about exactly what I want, and too dismissive about what I don’t want. A former girlfriend of mine who became a friend later says that it’s weird how I’m only into giving oral but just not into it when she tries to reciprocate, or anyone suggests another “activity.”

I honestly don’t care if anything besides oral ever happens, yet other girls can’t cum without “everything else.”

I’m amazing at giving pleasure, but why can’t I care enough about the other stuff to do what every other girl wants?

Dear Mouthy: Don’t stress about wanting what you want. Humans are remarkably diverse in their sexual triggers.

So I agree that you’re fixated on oral, but I disagree “everything else” is “what everyone else wants,” as if all earthlings leave you grappling with this alien issue because you are terminally unique.

You’re not. Your friend and some other people like what they like, but your own sexual match(es) are out there — in droves.

Still, as much as there is nothing wrong with having preferences, there’s no harm in adding to your roster of moves. Don’t do it for your sexual partners; do it to expand your own horizons.

“Ease into” other climaxes through masturbation, when there’s no pressure to please anyone but yourself. Look at and imagine scenes that give you a full view of what you desire but a few new stimuli as well. Over time, increase the “other stuff ” and decrease the oral visuals.

Q 46

I can’t orgasm when I’m with someone, but I’m Geyser McFountain when I’m alone. I can’t tell you how many

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times I stop trying, get the other person where they’re going sexually, then hobble home over my blue balls until I can get the job done in private.

One-night stands are really not a problem, because I don’t care what they think. It’s the people I actually date and like who are sometimes offended — or worse, sad and confused — when they can’t be part of getting me off. I can prepare for the moment all day, but when the time comes, I can’t get there. Help!

Dear Solo: The good news is that you’re not completely unable to perform at all, as with erectile dysfunction. The even-better news is that you can conquer this.

“Ejaculatory incompetence” is like being pee shy. When someone else is looking, the floodgates run dry. So first, relax. “Preparing for the moment all day” may be psyching you out. Enjoy the sex without the grand finale in mind.

Just like I told Mouthy above, the cure might come via masturbation.

Include stimulation in which the person is looking right at you, then slowly increase the ratio of that imagery. You could even get a fellow experimenter to masturbate with you while facing away or blindfolded. Have them look at you once your orgasm has started but not early enough to stop it. Gradually introduce their gaze earlier in the process. It takes time, but the meantime could be super fun.

Key words: No pressure!

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

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