Q Magazine Atlanta | December 13, 2018

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LGBTQ ATL’s Best YEAR-END CHARITIES

inform | inspire

December 13, 2018

PARTY TIME Q ueer Atlanta supersizes its holiday party calendar this week

LOST N FOUND REVELATIONS KINSEY SICKS COME FOR YOU HERETIC’S 27TH ANNIVERSARY TRANS PORN PROBLEMS BORED IN BED IS ON YOU

Q News 10 Queer Things Q Voices Q Shots The Q The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta




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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM

Festivus for the

REST OF US

Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Agnostic, Atheist or otherwise, it’s party time in queer Atlanta

IN CASE YOU COULDN’T TELL by the preponderance of red outfits, gift tips and pop radio fluff, it’s time to party in the LGBTQ-ATL. In fact, this week brings so many gatherings that we had to put it on our cover. Look no further than Q’s Queer Agenda calendar of events, which lays out the best local events to don your gay apparel and make the season bright. We also decided to take the party home, and our Q Hosting feature lays out easy, inexpensive, creative ideas for throwing your own cozy queer celebration without leaving the house.

ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER MARK S. KING HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

One of the biggest events of the year takes place on Saturday. Heretic takes advantage of its December anniversary to throw the gay men’s holiday party of the season every year. And after 27 years rocking the house on Cheshire Bridge Road, who better? We talk to Alan Collins about what he has in store for the big night in Q Milestones. MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

Of course, there’s reverence among all the revelry this week, and Q brings it to you for a bit of balance in that well-rounded life of yours. The Kinsey Sicks tour that wowed Atlanta last week features a monologue on queer history that simply should not be missed, and Q Thoughts gives you the lowdown on how to watch it yourself right now. Bring a tissue. The tone is serious in Q Voices, too. Columnist Heather Maloney returns to speak on behalf of fellow trans women about a cultural slight that she can no longer ignore. The fetishization of trans bodies goes beyond the objectification of other people in porn, and it has to stop. Amid all the seasonal spirit, you’re you and we’re Q. A week doesn’t go by that we miss a chance to offer Q Shots photo pages, The Q advice column, and Q News from our website Project Q Atlanta. Check out fresh content daily at theQatl.com, and let me know how we’re doing by writing mike@theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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Q

Writers! Photographers! Q magazine and Project Q seek to expand our pool of contributors Reporting, commentary, event pics, portraits and photo essays. Help us express Atlanta’s diverse LGBTQ perspectives on a one-time or recurring basis. Samples to mike@qmagatlanta.com 6

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE

VOLUME 2 ISSUE 5 DECEMBER 13, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS Do Gooders

COVER

22 10

Get Out

Queer holiday parties

HOSTING

13 16

Holigay Home

30 Double X

Entertaining and décor ideas THOUGHTS

22

Our Song

33 Santa’s Elves

Kinsey Sicks keep it real

FEATURES Q Voices

8

Q News

13

Q Shots

30

Q Milestone The Q

26 38

38

34 Seeing Red theQatl.com

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Q

VOICES

Is It ‘JUST PORN’? Objectification is part and parcel of porn, but it’s downright abusive when it’s trans

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO RECENTLY TOLD ME HE HOW HE

This is something I’ve rarely ever seen brought up in any mainstream trans discussions, but if we’re going to make any progress in normalizing LGBTQIA people, then it’s something

that desperately needs to be not only looked at, but carefully considered.

The entire point of most porn featuring transgender people is

to highlight and fetishize the fact that someone has the geni-

tals of someone we don’t associate with the rest of their gender presentation. That is straight-up objectification beyond what other porn actors and models are subjected to.

didn’t see a problem with porn using transphobic terms. He

Trans porn has always been lumped in with the “stranger,” less

for the purposes of men’s power fantasies.

ed to those with either “adventurous” tastes or those who have

compared it to other kinds of porn being sexist against women

common, more “exotic” varieties of porn that are often relegatbecome too jaded for “regular” porn.

His argument: They’re not going to carry those

Despite advances in trans representation and

same beliefs into the real world just because they

wanted to indulge in their sexuality for a little bit.

trans awareness, this idea behind transgender objectification still persists, and it’s not likely

I get that argument, even if it deals with a gross

to change anytime soon with the gross way the

topic of an entirely different beast, and even if it

porn industry operates.

was absolutely true of some viewers of said material. The problem is the nature of the representation itself, and therefore, those who are drawn to it. The there’s a vast difference in how cis women

In fact, it’s doubtful that most porn sites will H E AT H E R MALONEY

are portrayed in not only porn, but the rest of the media as a

away from one of many offensive slurs. You

know the ones, and I’m not going to sink to the

whole, as opposed to the treatment of trans women.

level of perpetuating it here.

Someone who’s somehow never met a cis woman in their life is

These purveyors of nothing less than trans abuse are providing

perfect, but it’s at least obvious that they’re being portrayed as

stand, and that’s the problem. So many are left without any

been biologically engineered solely to be a sexual fantasy for men.

communicating and connecting with someone who’s different

still going to see cis women portrayed in the media. It’s far from

their audience with what they want and what they under-

human — as opposed to, let’s say, semi-sentient objects that have

real-world experiences with trans folks, and without actually

On the other side, we have trans women. Someone who’s never met a trans woman is also not likely to have seen a trans woman in the media. Except if they watch a lot of porn. That’s a huge problem.

Until just recently, most people saw trans women as sex objects

from us, people will, without a doubt, see trans folks as just “them” in a world of otherwise “us.”

Add onto this entire issue the problematic nature of porn it-

self, and it’s no wonder people obsess over the genitals of every trans person they come across.

or the occasional bad joke, and it’s only gotten a little better

Heather Maloney is a transgender writer, editor, and creative

that our entire identity to many, many people can be based on

sexuality. Read more of her columns at theQatl.com.

since. As a transgender woman myself, it’s glaringly obvious and traced back to porn alone. 8

even change the name of their transgender porn

theQatl.com

thinker from Atlanta with special interest in issues of gender and PHOTO BY ROBIN RAYNE NELSON/ZUMA


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10 QUEER THINGS

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GIVE

Local queer causes where the gift actually keeps giving all year

a Little

By Mike Fleming

W

hile you’re busy making your list and checking it twice, don’t forget that there are some worthy non-profits making life better year-round for local LGBTQ people. Sharing the wealth with organizations that make Atlanta a better place is also a year-end tax break, so giving back is in some ways like doing yourself a favor in the process. Not to mention all the good queer karma. Do it for you, do it for them, but just do it. Here are a few of our favorite local charities that deserve your consideration this year. Atlanta Pride. The largest festival in the Southeast is free to all comers thanks to donations and sponsorships, but the committee works all year to support LGBTQ causes and other non-profits working within the equality movement. atlantapride.org Counter Narrative Project. Building power among black gay men and working in solidarity with all movements committed to racial and social justice, this group amplifies black male voices through media, advocacy and political education. thecounternarrative.org Georgia Equality. If it’s happening in LGBTQ rights in Georgia, these activists have a hand in it. From lobbying in the legislature to grassroots initiatives, this dedicated staff and its volunteers are busy year-round. georgiaequality.org

The Health Initiative. In addition to providing the only Affordable Care Act assistance specifically dedicated to getting LGBTQ Georgians covered, this group can also connect any queer person in the state to doctors, screenings and other care regardless of income. thehealthinitiative.org HRC Atlanta. The host of HRC Atlanta Dinner & Silent Auction supports local and national LGBTQ initiatives with year-round events and fundraisers. hrcatlanta.org Joining Hearts. Prolific in giving against HIV for more than three decades, this group throws Atlanta’s largest queer pool party and scores of satellite events. joininghearts.org Pets Are Loving Support. PALS was founded at the dawn of the AIDS crisis. It helps critically ill and elderly people keep and care for their pets. Fundraisers include quarterly Bingo games at Lips. palsatlanta.org SnAP. The Solutions Not Punishment Collaborative is a black, trans-led, Atlanta-based coalition to build a black, queer, trans, feminist movement toward practical abolition. snap4freedom.org Thrive SS. This group led by men of color supports health equity for people living with HIV through lessening gaps of disparities. It is part of the collaborative that founded The SPOT resource center. thrivess.org Trans Housing Atlanta Program. THAP connects transgender and gender nonconforming people in metro Atlanta directly to available safe housing and supportive services. transhousingatlanta.org theQatl.com

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NEWS Q

Conflict or

‘SAFE SPACE’?

Lost N Found ousts executive director, partners with adult superstore By Patrick Saunders LOST N FOUND PUSHED OUT ITS INTERIM EXECUTIVE director after less than five months on the job, another shakeup in the non-profit that cares for LGBTQ homeless youth. Also, the organization has entered into a partnership with Tokyo Valentino. The effort will provide Lost N Found clients who are aged 18 and over with free access to the adult superstore on Cheshire Bridge Road to use the showers in its video booth and play areas. The partnership was mentioned publicly as early as August, while the organization’s vice board chair applauds it and the chair now says it never started.

an executive director. Lost N Found operates a youth drop-in facility, a sprawling thrift store and a small homeless shelter. “My background is in planning and problem solving, so that is my job,” he said. “I don’t think there is a college degree in executive director.”

He added that the organization redirected the funds for a full-time executive director and used them to hire a programs director — Ernest Walker. Ross said Walker and operations director Nasheedah Bynes-Muhammad report directly to the board. Ross said the change has improved operations at Lost N Found “in a thousand different ways,” including increasing the hours at the group’s shelter in the West End. “Since August, we have been running at full capacity at the house,” he said. “The house is open 24 hours a day. It used to only be open in the evenings for clients to go there and sleep.”

Audrey Krumbach, Lost N Found’s former interim executive director, told Project Q Atlanta that she left the group in October. “They eliminated my position,” Krumbach said. “They actually announced to the staff that they do not believe the organization should have an executive director.” Lost N Found named Krumbach as interim executive director in June after the resignation of Rick Westbrook, the group’s co-founder and only executive director since its founding in 2011. In 2016, the board demoted Westbrook to outreach director, a move that was widely criticized, led to several board members resigning and was quickly rescinded. Krumbach came to Lost N Found from Living Room, where she served as development director for the organization that provides housing stability for people living with HIV/AIDS. The executive staff, which includes two directors, now reports to the board and the organization will not fill the executive director position. Lost N Found board chair Robert Ross confirmed the pivot away from an executive director and a more traditional model for non-profits. “At the moment, we are not operating that way,” he said. Ross, an architect and civic activist, dismissed the need for

The house has eight beds available on any given day, but Lost N Found board member Marci Alt said the group serves hundreds of homeless youth. “One person to manage that? It can’t be done,” she said. “For years, this was Rick Westbrook’s baby, so he knew all the moving pieces. The amazing man that he was, he was able to get it done to a certain degree.” “It takes more than one person called the executive director. The organization is not there for that yet. It was easy when it was little. It’s not little anymore,” she added. The organization serves LGBTQ homeless youth between the ages of 13 and 25, according to the group’s website.  theQatl.com

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NEWS, Continued TOKYO VALENTINO A ‘SAFE SPACE’ FOR LNF CLIENTS Alt told Project Q in August that due to a lack of available shower facilities, Tokyo Valentino offered free entry to Lost N Found clients who are 18 and over to use the facility. The LGBTQ adult toy store and play spa on Cheshire Bridge Road has a retail operation as well as a dance floor, private rooms, play rooms and adult video booths. Admission to the lower level play area, where the showers are located, ranges from $18 to $25 for paying customers. Ross said last week that Lost N Found chose not to pursue the offer “because we didn’t think it was right for our clients to be in that position.” He added that “not to [his] knowledge” did the program ever get started. But Chris Coleman, who handles marketing and public relations for Tokyo Valentino, told Project Q on Dec. 4 that Lost N Found clients have been taking part in the free entry program. “There have been some people who have come over from Lost N Found to use the facilities,” Coleman said. “Sometimes there’s people, sometimes there’s not. Our doors are always open to any of the Lost N Found youth.” Coleman said that Lost N Found clients have access to “the whole facilities” during their time there.

Alt called Tokyo Valentino a “safe space” for Lost N Found’s clients. “It’s hard enough when you’re 18 years old, and it’s hard to get a bed at CHRIS Kids or Salvation Army or one of those places,” she said. “You have to be in line at 7 a.m. in the morning.” Lost N Found clients are given pink cards that allow them free access to Tokyo Valentino, Alt said. “For me, it was all about safe space and helping our kids at Lost N Found. It’s not the ideal location, but it is ideal at the same time,” Alt said. Adding capacity at shelters, “would solve the entire thing,” Alt said. “These kids are homeless, and they live underneath a bridge or in tent cities. When Tokyo Valentino has been offering up free showers and a safe space, I’m going to support them all day long, every day,” she added. In August, Tokyo Valentino supporters — including Alt — rallied at Atlanta City Hall behind the adult superstore’s appeal of a federal court ruling that it violates the city’s adult entertainment ordinance. Find fresh LGBTQ news every day at theQatl.com.

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NEWS BRIEFS Q

Syphilis infections soar among gay, bisexual men By Patrick Saunders NEW CASES OF SYPHILIS HAVE SKYROCKETED nationwide in the last five years, and gay and bisexual men are responsible for nearly 70 percent of new infections, according to a recent report from the Centers for Disease Control. The CDC report showed that syphilis diagnoses increased 76 percent between 2013 and 2017. Gonorrhea diagnoses increased 67 percent (nearly doubling among men) in the same time period.

Quintin Robinson

Several factors are driving the uptick in syphilis and gonorrhea cases, said Quintin Robinson (photo), an infectious diseases doctor at Atlanta-based AbsoluteCARE. He told Project Q that more routine STI testing, and the concept of “undetectable equals untransmittable” are factors, and not, as critics claim, solely the increase in condomless sex as a result of preventative methods like PrEP.. So when it comes to these increases in STI rates, Robinson said not to blame PrEP. “It’s reductionist and unproductive to blame PrEP, as it effectively prevents HIV, which is a big deal,” he said. A 2016 CDC report showed that the rate of syphilis among gay and bi men was at least 40 times the rate of heterosexual men, and that was before widespread use of PrEP.

Transgender housing initiative hits major fundraising milestone By Patrick Saunders

FOUR YEARS INTO A $50,000 CAPITAL campaign, an Atlanta organization dedicated to providing safe housing for transgender and gender Tracee McDaniel non-conforming people reached its goal. Trans Housing Atlanta Program will now start looking for its first facility for emergency housing and rapid rehousing. A recent $16,000 contribution from the Metro Atlanta Task Force for the Homeless pushed Trans Housing Atlanta Program (THAP) to its goal. “Homelessness is not limited to a certain color, sex, sexual orientation, or nationality,” said Warren Smith, Task Force board chair in a press release. “The Task Force was founded on the principle that we will assist all that need our help. As one of our last acts, we are blessed to be able to help the Trans Housing Atlanta Program in its efforts to serve those that need help.” THAP co-founder Tracee McDaniel (photo) told Project Q Atlanta that the organization’s main goal was to raise the money it needed first, then decide on what kind of facility they will have. “We don’t want to get anything where we have to invest a lot of money in refurbishing,” she said. “We want to get something that’s ready to move in where we don’t have to do all this other fundraising to make sure that it’s habitable.” THAP is still considering where to locate the facility, McDaniel said.

Matthew Cardinale

Gay civic activist running for Atlanta City Council A GAY CIVIC ACTIVIST ANNOUNCED A RUN for an Atlanta City Council seat left vacant after the death of a sitting member. If he wins in the March special election, Matthew Cardinale would become the only openly LGBTQ person on the council. Cardinale, 37, is a longtime Atlanta City Hall watchdog and the editor of Atlanta Progressive News. “My number one priority for District 3 is to use my policy expertise in affordable housing to mitigate gentrification and ensure the preservation and creation of housing to serve the hard-working low-income families and seniors who call our district ‘home,’” Cardinale said in a press release. “District 3 is at a crossroads, where we must take proactive steps to ensure that as new development continues to come into District 3, that we have homes we can rely upon to stay affordable in perpetuity,” he added. Cardinale has been a fixture at Atlanta City Council meetings over the years — even rapping his views during public comment. In 2011, he filed a pair of lawsuits against the city over closed-door meetings held by the council. The Georgia Supreme Court ruled in his favor in 2012, saying that the city violated the state’s Open Meetings Act. The city cut him checks as a result. Cardinale is the first candidate to announce a run for the District 3 seat. Qualifying for the election to replace the late Ivory Lee Young takes place Jan. 23 – 25. The election is then set for March 19. If necessary, a runoff would be held April 16. Alex Wan was the last openly LGBTQ member of the Atlanta City Council. He lost a bid for City Council president in 2017, leaving the council without an LGBTQ member for the first time in two decades. theQatl.com

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Q

HOLIDAY HOST

Home for the From throwing a big queer party to making your own celebration cozy, try these tips and tricks for making your place fab

I

By Mike Fleming

f you are looking to make the season bright with cocktails, food and décor — but wouldn’t know a Martha Stewart spray from sticks in the ground — these ideas are for you.

Gathering your queers is always such a warm idea until you realize that, other than wanting to get together, you are having trouble making it special. What’s more, you may not have the funds, the time, or that hostess-mostest chromosome of the gay gene. Fear not. These tips are easy and affordable, and they’ll make you the belle of your own ball. 

Frozen Fab Drop a few berries in the tray before you make ice to make every cocktail more festive. Cranberries are seasonally accurate, but already frozen mixed berries add variety.

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Holidays Bubbly

Nothing says “celebration” like champagne. While the “real” stuff is pricey, sparkling wines like Christalino are as low as $7 a bottle. Drop frozen berries or limes in the flutes like the ice above, or add straight cranberry juice to make Poinsettias and stretch your supply.

Buffet Unless you are a sit-down dinner kind of person with all those skills to pull it off, give yourself a break and do buffet-style, even potluck. Nothing looks more inviting than a table full of food.

Punch It Cider, mulled wine, and punch are great for groups. Add star anise and cinnamon sticks to the bowl for extra flavor and a great look.

Easy Bites Unless you just enjoy doing so, don’t spend stressful hours creating hors d’oeuvres. Do cookies and crackers. Scatter nuts around a cheese platter, cut up some fruit. Mix sour cream with jarred tapanades and pestos. Put festive-colored chips in a bowl.

Drink Up Stock up on sodas and mixers, one bottle of your favorite three hard liquors, and a couple bottles of red and white. Tell others to bring what they want to drink. Coffee, cocoa and a selection of teas is a nice touch, and if you have alcohol, consider providing a way home. theQatl.com

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HOLIDAY HOST, Continued

DĂŠcor on a Dime Fill bowls, vases and serving trays with inexpensive Christmas ornaments, evergreen twigs, or twinkle lights. You can group them by color for a chic look, or mix them up to make a splash. Hang small ornaments on a bare branch.

Color Stories

Simple Sights You don’t need garland on every bough and baubles on every surface. Place a wreath or bow on the door, pump music into the air, limit tablescapes to the buffet and entry, and call it done.

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Let the candles, napkins and ornaments come together in combinations beyond red and green. Try red and turquoise, green and gold, or blue and Silver. Try some hot pinks and oranges to shake things up.


Nice Basket

Smells Like Christmas

Turn a shallow basket or tray into a fun arrangement with stuff that’s readily available, like moss, pinecones, rocks, or fruits.

For an inexpensive, fragrant and long lasting decoration, put sprigs of rosemary in coordinated or mismatched containers. Or bundle thyme, rosemary and marjoram in vases. You can even use them for cooking after they dry.

Roll One Up Tie One On Anyone can tie a single ornament on a ribbon or yarn, hang at varying heights, and create a memorable window display.

Turn holidaythemed wrapping paper into tabletop displays. Cut and fold into cone “trees” of different sizes, stick with double-sided tape, and voila. Sources: Food Network, HGTV, Bonus Up

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

December 13 - December 19 THURSDAY, DEC. 13

SATURDAY, DEC. 15 Charis Holiday Party The stalwart lesbian-feminist bookstore hosts a sale with treats @ Charis Books & More, all day. charisbooksandmore.com Merry & Bright The LGBTQ orchestra Atlanta Freedom Bands performs its holiday concert @ Druid Hills Presbyterian Church, 8 p.m. atlantafreedombands.com

Naughty & Nice The Glitz gurlz put on a show like no other @ Mary’s, 10 p.m. marysatlanta.com MAAP Holiday Party Metro Atlanta Association of Professionals collects toys and celebrates the season @ Honeywell, 6 p.m. maapatl.org

FRIDAY, DEC. 14 Rainbow Pub Crawl An ugly sweater contest and a bevy of bars make this LGBTQ toy drive and bar hop a must. MSR, Publico, Ten, Ri Ra, G’s and Midtown Moon are just some of the stops. The fun starts @ My Sister’s Room, 8 p.m. mysistersroom.com QueerGirl Holiday Party Join this social group for a seasonal party featuring DJs Skyler Madison (photo) and Kelly Romo @ The Music Room, 10 p.m. queergirlevents.com Fetish & Feral Two great tastes that taste great together. Booze, beats and boys in this double-feature with DJs Bio Zounds and Ed Wood @ Heretic, 10 p.m. then Xion, 3 a.m. hereticatlanta.com 22

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Jingle & Mingle Blue Diamond Entertainment for “grown women 25+ in the life” hosts a holiday affair and toy drive @ Urban Foodie Feed Store, 10 p.m. bde25.com

SATURDAY, DEC. 15 Don We Now Our Gay Apparel You’re already all dressed up. Hit multiple bar holiday celebrations, including the sixth annual Snow Ball @ Ten, 9 p.m. tenatlanta.com


Holiday Soiree The Bellissima party crew brings DJ Amy Alexander for another of their swanky lesbian parties @ Nowak’s, 10 p.m. eventbrite.com/o/bellissima-promotions Heretic 27th Anniversary DJ Joe Gauthreaux spins the man-on-man dance party that just keeps going, and going, and going… @ Heretic, 10 p.m. Read our preview in this issue of Q. hereticatlanta.com

Pop-Up Holiday Market Wussy and Patrick Boston fill your shopping requirements with queer wares @ The Deep End, 2 p.m. – 12 midnight. deependatl.com

Toy Party Downsizing this year with limited general admission drinks and food, For the Kid takes their signature seasonal schtick to more intimate surroundings @ Opera, 7 p.m. forthekid.org SUNDAY, DEC. 16 ABCD A Burlesque Comedy Drag Show combines all these queer things into one show @ Laughing Skull, 8 p.m. laughingskulllounge.com MONDAY, DEC. 17 Tribe Bleux Stockings Society for LGBTQI, cis/trans women and non-binary people hosts live literature performances @ Highland Inn, 8:30 p.m. facebook.com/groups/bleuxstockings Find even more LGBTQ events in the Queer Agenda each Thursday at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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THOUGHTS Q explain what the early years of AIDS have done to him and his community.

Sing It,

SISTER! This drag queen will steal your heart, then completely destroy it By Mark S. King

T

he Kinsey Sicks have been at this a long time. The acapella singing group of gay men in drag are celebrating 25 years of performing shows that are equal parts camp

comedy and very of-the-moment political humor.

But there’s political humor and then there is true, mortal heartbreak.

Benjamin Schatz is an original member

of the group, appearing as his drag alter

ego Rachel, a character with a penchant for putdowns and a lust for the spotlight. He

writes much of the shows and lyrics, and he had

something important to say, something that had weighed on his mind for many years.

He decided to get it off his padded chest during The Kinsey Sicks’ most recent tour show,

“Things You Shouldn’t Say,” the group’s 25th

anniversary tour. In a monologue performance that is as wrenching as it is delicate, Benjamin takes the risk of breaking character to

Audiences at the recent Atlanta performance of the show will never forget it. Luckily, its on the Sicks’ YouTube channel for the rest of you, and you should run, not walk, to watch it the moment you get through this article. “When Trump won, I thought, ‘Oh shit, I have to write a different show than I have been planning on,’” Benjamin explains. “I just went into some deep place inside myself because I knew we can’t play by the normal rules now.” Breaking those rules meant abandoning, at least for a few moments, the pure comedy that makes the group’s latest outrageous show such a satirical delight. “When we opened this show, I was terrified,” Benjamin says. “But I just felt like this monologue was what I had to do.” “It’s such a techtonic shift in the show, but it’s been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done,” he adds. The response has been overwhelming, resonating with audiences around the world, and not just LGBTQ ones. That includes the more difficult, emotionally searing elements of the monologue, such as the idea that AIDS sparked both severe homophobic hate, and eventually, a greater empathy for dying gay men. “People wonder if gay marriage came from Will & Grace,” Benjamin says about the roots of queer acceptance in the U.S. “But no, it came from hundreds of thousands of dead faggots. That’s where gay marriage came from.” The Kinsey Sicks have always been political ­— Benjamin believes it has hurt the career of the group, but they wouldn’t have it any other way — but this monologue is something else entirely, and it deserves to be seen and shared. Grab a tissue and take a look. Visit kinseysicks.com and youtube.com/user/kinseysicks theQatl.com

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MILESTONES

Photo by Russ Youngblood 26

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With 27th anniversary featuring DJ Joe G, Heretic just keeps going, and going…

I

By Mike Fleming n an ever-changing landscape for local queer nightlife and revolving doors for gay dancing queens, one Atlanta gay bar stands the test of time. When Heretic turns 27 this weekend, it’s due to an adaptability, an inclusive roster of events, and a welcoming attitude no matter what shifts and trends come and go. Just ask Alan Collins, general manager of the club for over a decade. “We’ve evolved from being a strictly leather bar to this kind of ‘melting pot’ venue,” Collins tells Q. “Trying

Just one of those reasons is a stable of circuit DJ-producers that keep the booties bouncing. One of the best is Joe Gauthreaux, a legend on the international scene who will head up the anniversary party on Saturday. “I first worked with Joe around 10 years ago, and honestly I was surprised to get him because he’s such a big name in the circuit, and at that time we weren’t known for our circuit parties,” Collins remembers, adding that signing Gauthreaux was the start of a lasting friendship and partnership. “When Joe spins at Heretic, he brings his A Game,” Collins promises. “Yes, we’re a smaller venue than he’s used to, but he doesn’t hold back. He plays just like he’s playing for an event with 2,000 people.” Making magic and connections like that is what spurs on Collins, and his partner, Heretic owner Ray Collins. “I’m so proud to have the opportunity to serve this amazing community,” Collins says. “Our customers are the

Energizer

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different events, inviting promoters from different subcultures within our community to host events here, has brought thousands of gay people through our doors who had never stepped foot in Heretic.”

“I’m always looking for that ‘next’ idea that’s gonna pack the place out,” he adds, citing just a few party crews from Heretic’s array, from Wussy and Ritual to Saturnalia, from Daddy Issues and DILF to Bearracuda. The club has had to stay on its toes, because gay nightlife was a completely different animal when Bev Cook opened the doors in 1991, and being queer itself was different then too, Collins asserts. “We didn’t have the internet, or the hook-up apps,” he says. “Your options to meet other gay people were limited, and the best option was going to a gay bar. Now you have to give people other reasons to come out.

heartbeat of our existence, and they’re the reason I get out of bed every day, the reason I keep challenging myself to raise the bar, to make the next event even better than the last, because the best customers in the world deserve it.” As for those consistent rumors that Heretic is closing? Yeah… no. “We’ve watched as so many of our peers opened and closed their doors, wondering if we’d be next,” Collins says. “But for the record, the rumors of Heretic closing are NOT true. I just signed a new lease and we ain’t going nowhere!” Heretic’s 27th Anniversary Party with Joe Gauthreaux is set for Saturday, Dec. 15, 10 p.m. Their next biggest event is the annual Genesis White Party on New Year’s Eve with Kidd Madonny and Mike Pope. Tickets are on sale now at hereticatlanta.com. theQatl.com

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MARY’S 20TH ANNIVERSARY

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD


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IMMERSION WITH IMPULSE GROUP AT GEORGIA AQUARIUM

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SATURNALIA’S NAUGHTY OR NICE AT HERETIC

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FUR BALL WITH PALS AT FOX EGYPTIAN BALLROOM

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RED DRESS TEA DANCE WITH ATLANTA SISTERS AT BJ ROOSTERS

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Q

THEQ?! Boring in

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Stop whining and complaining and let your fantasies fuel your fire

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We’re in a sexual rut. I sample the sausage, he delivers it to the service

entrance, we cook it, then we burp and roll over.

Marriage is great, mostly. Our little routines during the day are pretty perfect, but the sameness of the sex is boring me to tears. It’s actually starting to make me question our relationship. I’m interested in trying stuff to spice it up, especially something a little bad like spanking, tying each other up or roleplay. How can I make it happen? Dear Same Ol’: You can always count on Q to support the exploration of every nook and cranny of your sexual natures and each other. The good news is that if you’re not sexually satisfied, you have complete control over fixing it. Give yourself permission to try your fantasies on for size and empower yourself to deserve it. Questioning your relationship over this isn’t trying hard enough. Rather than viewing your marriage as a hindrance, I say that you’re in a better position than most to fix this. You each have a built-in teammate. You’re on the same side. So bring it up already. He’s your husband, for chrissake. Lean on your marital trust for confidence, and just blurt it out. He might be bored too, and hearing that you fantasize about him can’t hurt. Be specific: Tell him you want to cuff him before you go down 38

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on him, beg him to spank you harder, ask him to put on a jock strap. See how easy that was?

Q

Kiss a little, touch a lot, do this, do that, done. My girlfriend and I have only been dating a year, but the sex is already predictable. Every time used to be exciting, but now I’m bored. We used to build little moments all the way up to the big moment. Now we’re basically getting there so we can sleep. I can do myself faster — and sometimes better. Dear Boring: Sex takes two, and I’m reading a tinge of blame between the lines. Take ownership of your passion, and stop waiting for her to figure it out. Step one? Reflect on your own fantasies. You can’t make your relationship all new, and you wouldn’t want to start over, but you can tap into what made it hot in the first place. Whether it was the extra time you took, or the way she smelled freshly showered for a date, there’s a lot you can recreate time and again for years to come. Once you’ve revisited what turns you on, it’s back to my oft-repeated, number one piece of advice, ever: Communicate. Tell her what you want. Here are a just a few things that tend to work: Talk dirty. When you’re out, tell her how badly you want her. Sneak a hand under the table and tell her what you want to do. Wait for it. Letting it simmer includes after you’re naked. Extend foreplay. Tell her where to place those kisses. Place more than a few of your own. Put on a show. Offer discreet-or-not-as-you-want sexual gestures while you’re still at the restaurant. Duck into the restroom together for a quick flash. In bed, let her watch you touch yourself and vice versa. Take charge. If you’ve been laying back, get on top. If she’s worked up, slow down until she begs. The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com. ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON



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