Q Magazine Atlanta | December 27, 2018

Q inform | inspire

Queer Atlanta’s Best NEW YEAR’S PARTIES

December 27, 2018

Str8 Friends & ALLIED FORCES To All Those Girls SHE LOVED BEFORE Cowtippers Ends Its LONG FAREWELL TOUR

QUEER YEAR +

LGBTQ Atlanta influencers make plans for the New Year

Q Shots Q Voices Q News

The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

GOOD EATS

To advertise, contact us at sales@theqatl.com or 404-949-7071

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MONDAY

Ice Cold $2 Tecate / $5 Menu

TUESDAY BOOZEDAY

$3 Tacos & $3 Beer Specials

Midtown Promenade

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404-607-9967

WEDNESDAY

W.T.F. Buckets of Beer and Trivia

THIRSTY THURSDAY $5 well drinks, $7 Bleeding Frog & $6 Tropical Ritas

FRI • SAT • SUN

Weekend Warrior Texas Fajitas & Pitcher for Two $39

Locally sourced Italian/Mediterranean Menu Open for Dinner Daily after 5pm Brunch on Sat & Sun from 10am 980 Piedmont Ave NE • Atlanta, GA 30309 404-343-2446 • campagnoloatl.com CAUSAL ECLECTIC INDOOR & OUTDOOR

CREATIVE COCKTAILS

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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM

Ever

FORWARD

The dead will be commemorated and will struggle on with the living, and we are not going away. We won’t die secret deaths anymore. The world only spins forward. We will be citizens. The time has come.

THOSE FEW CHOICE LINES BY TONY KUSHNER from the final scene of Angels in America always come to me at New Year’s. They hearken the passage of time, the gains and losses inherent in it, and a commitment to a greater good.

I like the acknowledgement of the past existing directly alongside a hope for the future. Those things together somehow feel especially appropriate as we collectively prepare to take one breath and one step together into the unknown of January.

PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

If only for a brief moment, “now” is both gone and ahead of us at midnight on New Year’s Eve, and this issue of Q tries to capture a bit of that past-present-future magic to launch 2019.

We glance fondly back with the “Ones Who Got Away” from VaVa Vroom in Q Voices. Chances are we can each relate with some or all of these queer encounters on the road to relationships, and with a bit of intention, we can likely learn from them as we hurtle toward our next ones.

The journey forward starts with some goals for the New Year in 10 Queer Things.

Whether you accept the premise of resolutions for yourselves as individuals, this set was selected for all of us to attempt together.

Keeping the momentum, our Queer Year cover story meets six local influencers as seen through the lens of contributing photographer Jon Dean. Alongside the portraits, he corals their hopes, goals and plans for 2019. With their thumbs in civil, cultural and arts aspects of LGBTQ Atlanta, they have us excited for what the future holds.

With the past and future covered, of course this issue also lives on that namesake precipice between the two: New Year’s Eve. A special edition of the Queer Agenda lays out party plans.

And we leave the old year as we entered it, with Q News, Q Shots photo galleries, The Q advice column, and a reminder of fresh content daily on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com.

Take all you want. We’ll make more. How can you be sure? Because the world spins ever forward, and our time has come. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 2 ISSUE 7 DECEMBER 27, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS One and All

COVER

17 10

Big Plans

Moving and shaking into 2019 NEWS

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Closing Time

30 Bar Hop

Yes again, but now they really mean it QUEER AGENDA

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Party Central

34 Birthday Boys

LGBTQ Atlanta’s calendar of New Year’s Eve events

FEATURES Q Voices

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Q News

13

Q Shots

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Queer Agenda The Q

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36 X-Mess theQatl.com

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Q

VOICES

The Ones Who

GOT AWAY

A brief history of ships who passed in the night

At 9 a.m., I scribbled my name on a Post-It and left. The Italian is remembered through her discovery of the Post-It note some 20 years later, and the friend request she sent on Facebook. In English.

I CAME OUT IN MY EARLY TWENTIES ROUGHLY 25 years ago. I knew nothing about lesbian relationships, but jumped right in. There were successes. There were failures.

“Were you in London . . . ?”

I move with more care now. Experience, poly and kink do that to you. They cultivate personal growth. I’ll write more about that later, though, because as the year comes to an end, I’ve been reflecting on what was.

Brooklyn – Brooklyn, 2009 I don’t remember this woman’s name. She lived in Brooklyn.

I’ll call her that to simplify. We met at The Cubbyhole.

Old crushes, flames, and flings can leave indelible marks on us. Here are some of The Ones Who Got Away.

Brooklyn was a fast lesbian: a fast talker, a fast walker, and a fast eater. She worked in the fast world of finance. She had a gorgeous flat that I wanted. She loaned me a book. One night, we hit Henrietta Hudson’s. After, at her flat, we pigged out on nachos.

Martha – San Francisco, 1993 My first “official” girlfriend. She was an experienced cougar at 42. I was a noob at 22. We worked for the same retailer. We’d call each other for “stock checks.” So hot:

We were naked and about to “do it” when she “fell asleep” — fast. Annoyed, I let myself out – fast. Brooklyn is remembered through her book that I still have, and my regret for leaving my bra at Brooklyn’s. In Brooklyn.

VAVA VROOM

Me: “Do you have a small Ruffle Cuff dress?”

Martha: “Mmmmmmaaaybe . . . what color?

Me: “Pussywhisper. I MEAN WILLOW! PUSSYWILLOW!” Our first kiss was on a rooftop. Magic. Martha made me a tape. A tape. For my Walkman. I listened to it and daydreamed about Martha on the bus. The Indigo Girls, Led Zeppelin, Sarah McLachlan. It was so gay.

Eventually, Martha ended it. She said I needed to experience being out and single. I knew she was wrong, but really, she was right. Breaking up with me was a caring act. Being free to embrace the discovery of my lesbian identity and to fly – these were critical to my growth. Martha is remembered through lyrics.

Hey lady, you got the love I need Maybe more than enough Oh darling, darling, darling Walk a while with me Ohh, you’ve got so much, so much, so much The Italian – London, 1996-ish I was on vacation with my #1 gay, Marc. We hit our culture quota at tea time, then beelined it to one of London’s LGBTQ clubs: G-A-Y, three floors of glorious gay glee.

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The Italian was in the ‘80s room. She trilled to me in Italian.

I blabbed at her in American. We confused each other and defaulted to dancing. By 2 a.m., we were making out on a double-decker bus, flying past Big Ben to her apartment where we did our own kind of sight-seeing.

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The Vampire – Atlanta, 2013 Mary’s. Halloween. Maybe. It might have been karaoke night.

It was both. Anyways, there I was: Forty-something, a boozy cougar taking pics of the NACHO VAGINA sticker behind the bar and wondering why the bartenders were cranky.

A drop-dead gorgeous vampire materializes. She grabs my collar and like .. hover-moves me from the bar to like … elsewhere. It screamed Anne Rice. The witnesses were on edge. I was enthralled and hoped she’d smooch me. Or bite.

She didn’t. She stared. Hard. Close. She was probably a Scorpio (swoon). She released me and dissipated. The Vampire is remembered through an iPhone recording of the entire bar singing, “December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night).”

Of course, there are the ones who got away, but aren’t actually gone. Cultivating healthy relationships leads to healthy endings, and the ones who truly matter are still present in my life.

I hope they always will be.

As you say goodbye to 2018, I hope you are filled with fond memories, peace and excitement for 2019.

Vava Vroom: Lesbian. Poly. Kinky.

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Q

TEAM EFFORT 10 QUEER THINGS

10 Q ueer New Year’s Resolutions for all of LGBTQ Atlanta

Learn Q ueer History (And apply its lessons)

Be Present in the Moment (Remove noses from mobile devices)

More Sober Nights Out (Events that don’t center around cocktails)

Be Kind

(Love one another)

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Eliminate Stigmas (About HIV status, sexual practices, community subsets)

Love All Bodies

Resist Harder (Join a cause)

Be Visible (Show up, speak out)

(Including our own)

Stop Judging (Or shaming, ostracizing and ridiculing)

Be Better at Safe Sex (Try PrEP, encourage others)

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NEWS Q

‘FOR GOOD’

‘The sun is finally setting’ on beleaguered Cowtippers this week COWTIPPERS — THE ICONIC LGBTQ POPULAR restaurant once slated to close earlier this year — appears to be closing before the new year “for good,” according to a message on the restaurant’s website.

“The sun is finally setting on the ol’ Cow,” the message said.

“Cowtippers will be closing for good after dinner service on December 27th. We would like to thank you for the years of great memories.”

The messages is signed “We love you. -The Cowtippers Family.”

Tomorrow’s News Today reported in November that “an applicant working on behalf of Chase Bank” appeared before the Beltline Design Review Committee to propose plans to construct a new bank branch to replace the restaurant near the corner of Piedmont Avenue and Monroe Drive.

A representative for Metrotainment Cafes — which owns Cowtippers and several other restaurants popular with

LGBTQ Atlanta — told Project Q Atlanta at the time that the sale was not a done deal yet.

Metrotainment announced the closure of the restaurant as far back as January 2018. At that time, the property was going to be sold to make way for the construction of a high-rise apartment building.

After a big response from customers to that announcement, Metrotainment said an “outpouring of support” convinced them to delay closing the restaurant. In February, they said it would remain open “for the foreseeable future,” and Cowtippers enjoyed a resurgence in patronage in the following months.

Cowtippers celebrated its 25th year in business this year.

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Q

IN BRIEF

LGBTQ ‘hero’ Joan Garner honored in Super Bowl art project

By Patrick Saunders JOAN GARNER, THE BELOVED LATE FULTON commissioner, is being honored with a mural saluting her work advocating for LGBTQ rights and fighting HIV/AIDS as part of a larger art project ahead of Super Bowl LIII. “Atlanta is in a position to make waves. If we can address these problems we can be an example to the world,” reads the quote from Garner on the mural (photo).

The mural is part of a larger public art project led by WonderRoot highlighting Atlanta’s civil rights and social justice journey leading into the Super Bowl. Atlanta plays host to the sporting event on Feb. 3. Thirty murals will be painted across the city as part of Off the Wall and the project is part of Legacy 53, an effort by the Super Bowl Host Committee for the game to leave a lasting impact on the city.

“One of our goals with Off the Wall is to amplify Atlanta’s legacy around civil and human rights — and connect that to contemporary struggles for justice in Atlanta and beyond,” said Chris Appleton, founder and executive director of WonderRoot. “In an effort to elevate key stories and ideas present in our city’s pursuit of civil and human rights, it goes without saying the importance of calling attention to the stories and people in Atlanta’s LGBTQ+ community.”

Garner’s mural will be installed at the Metropolitan, a condo building on Marietta Street in downtown Atlanta, and will become part of the city’s permanent public art collection.

WonderRoot engaged Atlanta residents to help select subjects of the murals, including SisterLove, Georgia Equality, Georgia State University’s Institute for Women’s, Gender & Sexuality Studies, the Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and the National Center for Civil & Human Rights.

Dazon Dixon Diallo, the founder and president of SisterLove, will also be honored with a mural celebrating her work advocating for reproductive rights and fighting HIV/AIDS. The artist team Loss Prevention Arts designed and will install Garner and Diallo’s murals. Garner died in April 2017 after a long fight against breast cancer.

Atlanta lesbian shot by police after allegedly killing partner

A METRO ATLANTA WOMAN ACCUSED OF STABBING her partner to death on Dec. 10 and shooting at police after a high-speed chase is also a person of interest in the disappearance of another partner seven years ago.

Joyce Marie Lewis-Pelzer, 42, allegedly stabbed a woman nearly 40 times at a Motel 6 in Conyers, according to the AJC. The victim is 47-year-old Rosalyn Lewis, 47,who died before she was loaded into an ambulance.

Shawndell McLeod disappeared in 2011, and her car was found several days later about 40 miles from her Atlanta home. Police quickly zeroed in on Lewis-Pelzer as a suspect, according to True Crime Daily.

Police issued a lookout for Lewis-Pelzer, and Georgia State Patrol spotted her later on Dec. 10 traveling south on I-75. After a high-speed chase of about 10 miles, troopers rammed her vehicle to stop it. Then gunfire erupted.

Lewis-Pelzer reportedly “had a frightening obsession” with McLeod, and when McLeod tried to end the relationship, Pelzer reportedly threatened to end both their lives. McLeod went missing a few weeks later.

“Two Crisp County deputies approached the vehicle, and at least one shot was fired at the deputies from inside Lewis-Pelzer’s vehicle. The two deputies returned fire, striking her. One of the deputies on scene was medically trained and rendered aid until EMS arrived,” a GBI news release said.

Lewis-Pelzer denied involvement in McLeod’s disappearance.

Police arrested her at the time for lying about her alibi, but have not filed charges against her in McLeod’s disappearance.

Lewis-Pelzer also reportedly has multiple domestic violence arrests in Fulton and DeKalb counties.

Lewis-Pelzer was hospitalized but survived. No officers were injured in the incident.

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Conyers police told WSB-TV that they are also looking into whether Lewis-Pelzer is responsible for the murder of another former partner who went missing seven years ago.

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Find fresh LGBTQ news daily on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com.

QUEER YEAR Q

Toni Williams

@_toni_tones + @cultivatingcultures Founder of TASTE ATL and Cultivating Cultures Hopes My hopes for queer ATL in 2019 are that we continue to create larger platforms for the LGBTQ community to shine in Atlanta and beyond. I also hope that we continue to unite so that on the creative scene and political scene our voices influence intentional change.

Goals My goal is to actively be a part of the intentional change that I envision for the LGBTQ community by means of being more involved with our local Atlanta political scene, curating and collaborating with events that uplift and shed a positive light on the LGBTQ creative scene and to continue providing bigger platforms for our community to have a strong presence in Atlanta.

Big 2019 Projects My biggest project is working on the team that is revitalizing Underground Atlanta. This is a huge project that will have a major impact on the heart of downtown. I am working diligently to promote inclusivity and preservation of Atlanta’s diverse culture that keeps our city vibrant, and that includes various opportunities for creatives and the LGBTQ community as a whole.

New Year’s Eve Plans The Peach Drop at Underground Atlanta, the LovHer Heir Affair at Einstein’s, and New Year, Who Dis? at the Bakery.

2019

VIBES LGBTQ-ATL movers and shakers make plans for 2019

O

ne of the gifts the gods laid on Q magazine in our first year is an ongoing collaboration with photographer Jon Dean. His stunning portraits help us step boldly into the New Year with queer Atlantans that we’re watching to make 2019 waves and set off a ripple effect of 2019 vibes. 

PHOTOS AND INTERVIEWS BY JON DEAN

jondeanphoto.com

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Q

QUEER YEAR, Continued

Oyle Harrison

@oyle Queer Performer/Drag King with Alphabet Soup Hopes for Queer ATL For us to keep coming together and stop the internal fighting and remember that our differences are what makes us an unstoppable group when we do it together.

Goals for the New Year Get more costuming done, get more active for trans queers over 30.

Big 2019 Projects Making Alphabet Soup a 401(c) , make our bar nights at the Eagle more profitable for the group, and keep working on trans campout, a yearly campout for trans and non-gender people and their partners.

New Year’s Eve Plans I know there are a few good queer events, and my go-tos are always Mary’s and the Eagle.

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Ivana “Iv” Fischer

@iv.fischer Videographer/Writer/Activist Hopes I hope that queer ATL grows to be more vigilant and vocal in shutting down the discrimination that exists within, as well as outside of, our community. We are a beautiful group of artists, performers, movers and shakers who inadvertently hold ourselves to standards that were not made for us to begin with. I hope that, with the continuation of increased representation on a political and a social level, we manifest the agency to squash old standards and establish new ones.

Goals To satiate my passion to turn the world on its head in all aspects. I am going to create more, mobilize more and do more next year in an effort to make myself heard. 2018 was a year of development for me, and I aim to showcase my talents as a writer, videographer and social activist. Next year will be full of successes.

Big 2019 Projects I am most excited to continue with the biggest project of my life: my transition.

Transitioning has been a long, hard journey that has molded me physically, mentally and emotionally. It is a challenging endeavor that has made me more self-determinant as an individual.

Every day that I wake up and battle my dysphoric demon is a step in the right direction. Every day that I step out of the house to be seen, heard and engaged by the people around me is a statement that I am here and deserve to be respected.

Every day that I make a difference in someone else’s life is a reminder of where I’ve been and where I’m about to go.

More progress is on the horizon, and I am so happy to have the privilege of working towards excellence in the years to come.

New Year’s Eve Plans I’ll be chilling in my bed with my good Judys: Domino’s pizza and a big bottle of Moscato! You’re all invited! theQatl.com

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Q

QUEER YEAR, Continued

Nathan Pearson

@nathankpearson Queer Performer/Marketer Hopes In 2019, I want queer ATL to get the national recognition it deserves when it comes to editorial voices and artists!

I’m forever in debt to the queer ATL community that gave birth to my queer identity and a platform to express myself. I want everyone who has been blessed enough to have come from or come through queer ATL to make an effort to praise and promote queer publications like Wussy and trailblazer artists like Corian Ellisor, Brigitte Bidet and Jaxrenee. Also, more gaysian representation.

Goals Read more. Write more. Perform more.

Big 2019 Projects I have a dream of hosting a queer cabaret! More to come.

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Savana Ogburn

@savanaogburn Photographer/Designer Resolutions I’m trying to remember to take breaks more often to regroup and get inspired, get better at archiving my work. This tends to fall by the wayside when I get busy.

Big 2019 Projects I’m toying with a few ideas, mostly involving making more work in different mediums like set design, installations, etc. But I’m afraid of jinxing any specifics at this point.

New Year’s Eve Plans The SFQP x Morph Party at the Bakery looks cute. A bunch of my faves are performing. I’m also a fan of staying in and watching the ball drop with some pals.

theQatl.com

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Q

QUEER YEAR, Continued

Taylor Alxndr

@tayloralxndr Queer Performer/Founder of SFQP Hopes Next year is the 50th anniversary of Stonewall, so I hope queer Atlanta continues to work together and work smarter in 2019. With the political climate and gentrification always throwing us for a loop, now is the time to build, more than ever, strategically across intersections. I also hope queer art gets weirder and more provocative.

Goals I’m releasing music videos and working on my next album, trying to depend less on coffee, and continuing to put forth the energy I want to see in the world.

Big 2019 Plans The 5th Annual Southern Fried Queer Pride Festival! It’s a milestone for us, especially being an underground, DIY queer festival. I’m also working on a handful of events in hopes to keep Atlanta queer and weird.

New Year’s Eve Plans If you want to bring in 2019 surrounded by vogue battles, drag queens doing splits off the stage, DJs keeping you dancing all night and community, come to New Year, Who Dis?, a NYE extravaganza put on by Southern Fried Queer Pride and Morph at The Bakery.

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THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

December 27 - January 1 FRIDAY, DEC. 28 Thrive Kwanzaa Live performances from the Clever Collective and the Thrive Glee Club benefit Thrive SS @ Rush Center, 6 p.m. thrivess.org Queer for the New Year The creative minds behind Queerly Beloved Revue at MSR celebrate the holidays with this special show @ Red Light Cafe, 8 p.m. redlightcafe.com Country Night Scoot your boots for the last time this year with the LGBT Dance ATL folks @ Heretic, 8 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

SATURDAY, DEC. 29 Countdown to New Year’s Eve DJ Aaron Fries knows what you need @ Atlanta Eagle, 10 p.m. atlantaeagle.com 2018’s Final Blowout DJ Mike Pope closes out the year with no cover and plenty of fun @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com 26

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MONDAY, NEW YEAR’S EVE Genesis White Party

The annual white-attire throwdown with

DJ Kidd Madonny, Mike Pope and Angelica

D’Paige @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com New Year, Who Dis?

Southern Fried Queer Pride puts on a trans queer POC fandango like

no other party in town @ The Bakery, 10 p.m. southernfriedqueerpride.com Swinging Richards New Year

Did someone say “open bar”? The only place in town with all-nude male

entertainment is also a place where your cover charge covers all you can drink @ Swinging Richards, 10 p.m. swingingrichards.com

NYE 2019

Find your friends bathed in blacklight as DJ

Fernando (Argentina) beats you into the New Year

plus midnight champagne @ Atlanta Eagle, 10 p.m.

atlantaeagle.com Regina Simms New Year

The indefatigable head lady in charge corrals her queens for a night of performances and specials to ring in the new year @ Friends on Ponce. friendsonponce-atl.com

Open Bar Bash

Door fee has you covered for open bar, cham-

pagne toast, multi-levels and midnight breakfast @ My Sister’s Room, 8 p.m. mysistersroom.com Bulldogs NYE

When men of color come out, they come to Bulldogs.

Join them for DJ Caprice and all the special sur-

prises @ Bulldogs. facebook.com/bulldogsbaratlanta New Year’s Eve Ball

Hot guys, hot music, hot cash drop. What more do

you need to know about having a hot time in the old

town tonight @ Ten, 9 p.m. tenatlanta.com Glitz & Glam Ball

Dinner and show with some of the best drag in Atlanta. Cabaret style

performances and a delicious meal with your reservation @ Lips, early and late seatings. atldragshow.com Pennies from Heaven

A tradition that never goes out of style is money falling from the sky. Get yours during this annual midnight cash drop @ Blake’s. blakesontheparkatlanta.com

New Year’s Eve To Remember

A champagne toast at midnight, DJ beats to move your feets, and all the go-go boys you can handle all night long @ BJ Roosters, 9 p.m. bjroosters.com

Countdown to 2019 Do up NYE with all the jocks and athletic supporters of Atlanta’s gay sports bar @ Woofs. woofsatlanta.com Attack of the New Year’s Eve Party Monster Living right in East Atlanta Village for coming on two decades, the alternaqueers and cool kids are doing another year right @ Mary’s, 9 p.m. marysatlanta.com NYE Celebration Enter in the rear of Ansley Mall for New Year’s Eve fun @ The Hideaway. atlantahideaway.com

TUESDAY, NEW YEAR’S DAY DJ Deanne Afterparty Keep going til sunrise @ Xion in BJ Roosters, 3 a.m. – 7 a.m. bjroosters.com New Year’s Morning Party Energizer bunnies can’t stop dancing, and why would they with DJ Alex Cohen @ Heretic, 6:30 a.m. hereticatlanta.com AV 200 Ride Start the year off with the bicycle riders against THURSDAY, DEC. 27 AIDS. Starts @ Carter Center, 10:30 a.m. av200.org Queen Butch Dancing queens keep ringing in 2019 all day. Don’t stop won’t stop with DJs William Francis and Cuntera @ Midtown

Tavern, 11 a.m. midtowntavern.net

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QUEER BAIT AT MARY’S

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q

Q SHOTS

RAINBOW PUB CRAWL AT MY SISTER’S ROOM

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

News | Events | Culture | Photos | Podcast

IN PRINT WEEKLY fresh content online daily

Q Magazine 32

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Project Q Atlanta

2019

dj fernando from

argentina free champagne toast at midnight

306 ponce de leon ave, ne, atlanta, ga 30308

Q

Q SHOTS

HERETIC 27TH ANNIVERSARY

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Q

Q SHOTS

ARMORETTES TRAILER PARK CHRISTMAS AT MIDTOWN MOON

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

THEQ?!

Hate My Body,

LOVE MY QUEERS

When size really, really matters, and how allies can show their LGBTQ solidarity

Q

I’m straight and never narrow. My circle of friends has always included queer people, but I have a question regarding how to indicate to people that I am an ally.

The other day when talking about holiday plans, a new colleague mentioned her girlfriend’s family as her “in-laws.” I asked, “Oh, are you married?” She said “no,” and after a silence, we left it at that.

I know I am and have been “an LGBTQ friend” since time began, but I don’t know that I communicated that to her effectively.

What do I say to someone to let them know I am an ally without making a big deal of it?

Dear Friend: For longtime allies with no agenda and a lifelong history of inclusion, it comes down to your instinct in the situation, as well as your relationship with the person.

For the first time broaching the subject, it sounds like you showed genuine interest in another human. Great start, and amazing that some straight folks might not get that simple step.

My bet is that she’s not thinking about it one way or another over this simple interaction. When the topic arises naturally in conversation the next time, you’ll know when to take the opportunity to support/back them up/reaffirm their queerness.

If you’re looking to act on it more quickly, being an ally can also just be asking after the girlfriend the next time you think about it, without making a big deal: “How’s the girlfriend doing?!” “What are y’all doing this weekend?”

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My equipment is way too big. Before you start chastising me about a problem other gay guys wish they had, it really, really is really, really big. It gets the wrong kind of attention, and that in turn has driven away many quality guys.

My boyfriend, an otherwise confirmed bottom, refuses to even attempt it. Should I keep trying to coax him with lube and dildos? Should I break up and look for a size queen?

I’ve considered drastic measures, even surgery, but nothing seems viable. All I know is I hate my dick. What would you recommend?

Dear Big One: You didn’t indicate what we’re working with here — beer can, eggplant or medical anomaly? Since you mention some people do like your penis the way it is, it’s probably not physically impossible to manage for everybody.

In most cases, big is in the booty of the beholder.

First and foremost, stop hating your dick. It’s part of you. Devoting such negative energy toward yourself can be as dangerous as an elective surgery to your penis, which by the way, is incredibly dangerous and won’t work.

I do get your drift, though. It’s hard to hear that you’re not packing the equipment to do the job someone wants done ­— for any reason. If he’s willing, by all means continue to try with your boyfriend. If he’s not, have fun with literally every other sexual option under the sun. Also if he’s agreeable, and you can’t live without penetration, consider adding a third to your sexploits.

Only you can answer if this is a relationship deal-breaker or not, but don’t give up a worthwhile relationship without a fight.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

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