Q Magazine Atlanta | December 12, 2019

Q

December 12, 2019

YEAR-END GIVING GUIDE

inform | inspire

c i n Ico

Artist captures LGBTQ Atlanta s ne people and sce

10 THINGS YOU’LL MISS IN THE 2020s QUINTESSENTIAL LGBTQ RELATIONSHIP MANIFESTO

Q Shots The Queer Agenda Q Voices The Weekly Print Publication of Project Q Atlanta

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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@THEQATL.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@THEQATL.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@THEQATL.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@THEQATL.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS GABRIELLE CLAIBORNE BUCK COOKE CHARLES E. DAVIS JON DEAN BILL DICKINSON JIM FARMER BRAD GIBSON JAMES L. HICKS BENTLEY HUDGINS TAMEEKA L. HUNTER HEATHER MALONEY ERIC PAULK KYLE ROSE JAMES PARKER SHEFFIELD VINCE SHIFFLETT ALEXANDRA TYLER VAVA VROOM RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 LOCAL ADVERTISING SALES@THEQATL.COM 404-949-7071

Heart to ART

THE GAMUT OF ALL THINGS L, G, B, T and Q is so wide and varied that people can spend their whole year trying to cover it and never fully achieve it, but Q magazine and Project Q Atlanta take on the challenge to chip away at it again in this issue. Next up, matters of the heart and art.

On the relationship front, Voices writer Vava Vroom lays out a template for the manifesto you need in your life, and The Q advice column defines love addiction for those chasing the feeling instead of the person.

Other matters of the heart include our next installment of the Roaring ‘20s series, where MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER we look at the queer things Atlanta will miss from this decade as we head into the new one. Up next, businesses and non-profits that have shuttered their doors. Find our previous Roaring ‘20s lists of lost clubs and late-greats at theQatl.com.

And if you have a heart, you might be thinking of donating to charities this time of year — both for the good karma and the good tax break. Our Giving Guide offers our Top 14 LGBTQ charities for you to consider, whether it comes from your wallet or your time. Find more info on these orgs from our advertisers on those pages, and check out the Q Giving ad for organizations we’ve partnered with and supported in 2019.

Also reaching out and touching people this season is the latest collection of photo collages from artist Cameron Lee. In our Cover Story, his Fabnormal highlights six queer neighborhoods and the LGBTQ locals who help make those scenes happen.

From heart to art and back again, this issue wouldn’t be complete without our Q Shots photo galleries or the Queer Agenda calendar of events. Find all of that and more as you turn the page, look for us with fresh content every day at theQatl.com, and check back in our next issue polishing more facets of Atlanta’s queer diamond. theQatl.com

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Q

VOICES

Your Relationship MANIFESTO Breaking the molds of what we should do and be

U-HAULING. THE URGE TO MERGE. LOVE BOMBS. All lesbians live in Decatur. You know the drill.

I unlocked the U-Haul achievement at 30 and failed miser-

ably. Why? Because society conditions us to find “The One,”

The following wisdom dropped:

It is absolutely an option you have open to you, the

same as anyone else. Fuck respectability politics and go for who/what you want in your life. — Kit

Look for other queer folks in these communities and follow them home, even if (especially if ) they’re not people you’re romantically interested in. — Josh

get married, have kids, and die. But do queer

Ask yourself, What are my core values,

meeting “The One”?

engaging in relationships? Which Hogwarts

boundaries, and goals? What’s my purpose in

women really want to nest mere minutes after

House am I in? — Magaly

That’s a terrific scenario for some people, but

You’re going to do it imperfectly, especially at

not everyone functions in the same way.

the start. The boundaries or agreements you

My vision for The One was simple: she’d be a

make in the beginning will change. The sooner

sugar momma. We’d be rich and famous. From

our luxurious home overlooking the Pacific, we’d travel, dine out and wear black. We’d zip around our big film studio wearing big sunglasses in a

big golf cart networking with bigwigs and making big decisions.

We’d grace magazine covers. We’d be immortal.

Now I am 48, and while much of that came true in one way

or another, I figured some things out, got real, got cats, and

sorted out what doesn’t work for me in relationships. Namely: monogamy.

What does work for me is the range of types of love, autonomy, playfulness, growth, sex and romance that I have been gifted with through consensual non-monogamy (CNM).

Most LGBTQ folks are starved for examples of healthy

relationships and for guidance on how to cultivate them,

not because these relationships don’t exist — they do — but because we are a non-traditional culture trying to fit into a traditional status quo, while at the same time rejecting the status quo.

Similarly, CNM requires us to figure things out that the conventional wisdom of monogamy doesn’t.

the easier those changes will be, even when

they’re not easy at all. — @polycoachrachael

The most important part of this was writing a relationship

manifesto — a set of intentions and guidelines that help me prioritize what’s important in relationships, and that keep me in check.

1. Don’t prioritize sexual or romantic relationships over

other types of relationships, like friendships.

2. If I feel jealous, it is not an emotional distress to the

point of not being able to handle it. An insecurity crisis is not an emergency.

3. Relationship changes are not failures.

4. I will ensure I have the capacity to start and continue

a new relationship before beginning it, and ask that to be reciprocated.

5. Relationships have a cycle of growth and decay like

any living thing. Holding on to dead relationships isn’t healthy.

In a highly scientific survey I conducted on Facebook, I

Vava Vroom is President of Dykes on Bikes® Atlanta and

folks need to know about CNM?

vava.vroom@yahoo.com.

asked: What do queer women, baby queers, and newly out

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you embrace the continuous evolution of them,

VAVA VROOM

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identif ies as a poly, kinky, lesbian.Instagram @vavavroom_,

KENYA JOHNSON FOR PROBATE COURT JUDGE

“The Probate Court of Fulton County is a true ‘family court.’

From marriage licenses to guardianships for loved ones with mental health needs, Probate Court can help families grow and prosper. For 20 years, I have represented victims of crime, achieved justice for families after devastating crime events and protected public safety as a Community Prosecutor.

When my dear mother passed, I was left to handle her business affairs through grief and bureaucracy. When loss and challenges arise, families need an effective, competent and compassionate court to guide them through difficult times. As a proven leader, I have the experience, knowledge and vision to take Probate Court into the future, increase efficiency and make probate services more accessible and convenient.

In 2020, I ask for the privilege of your vote to serve as your next Probate Court Judge in Fulton County because family, either by blood or choice, means everything.

ENDORSEMENTS

ANDREW YOUNG Former U.S. Ambassor

MICHAEL LASCALA Partner LaScala & Aurora, LLP

KEITH E. GAMMAGE Fulton County Solicitor-General

RENEE ROCKWELL Legal Analyst

Kenya Johnson

Kenya Johnson Judicial Candidate Fulton County Probate Court

EDUCATION/ MEMBERSHIPS/ PROFESSIONAL AWARDS/ APPOINTMENTS Clark Atlanta University, Bachelor of Arts, 1995 South Texas College of Law,1998 Distinguished Leader Award, Fulton County Daily Report Chief Assistant District Attorney, Fulton County District Attorney’s Office Community Prosecutor of the Year, Fulton County District Attorney’s Office, 2016 Community Service Award, U.S. Attorney’s Office, Northern District, 2017 Chief Deputy Solicitor, Fulton County Solicitor General’s Office (2017-Current) State Bar of Georgia Judicial Nominating Committee, (2018-2020)

Member, Georgia Bar Association Member, Atlanta Bar Association, Probate Section Executive Board, Georgia Association Women Lawyers Foundation (2019-2020) Executive Board, Georgia Association of Black Women Attorneys (2012-2017) Regional Director, National Black Prosecutors Association (2015-2019) Executive Committee, Gate City Bar Community Law Clinic (2012-2019)

WWW.ELECTKENYAJOHNSON.COM

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10 QUEER THINGS

Q

Look back at a few of the places we’ll miss in the new decade

By Mike Fleming FOR THE END OF 2019, WE’RE LOOKING BACK AT GONEbut-not-forgotten icons of the last 20 years as we head into the next. Next up, ten of the many businesses and organizations that queer Atlanta saw turned into memory along the way.

Poster Hut After more than 40 years selling gay novelties, cards and porn, the shelves of this tiny shop on Cheshire Bridge Road were cleared in 2011.

King & I Visitors to the bars of Ansley Square could drop in for cheap, good sustenance before, during or after a night of drinking and shopping. The eatery eventually folded in 2012, as diners favored the street-fronting Bangkok restaurant.

YouthPride The end was drawn out and ugly with controversy in 2015, but the dream for a safe space for LGBTQ teens to meet was a local jewel in its heyday.

C0wtippers

Visit theQatl.com, where Project Q hosts our lists of 10 queer nightlife venues and 10 queer people we’ll miss from the last two decades.

Whether you were a fan of the food and service or not, the gay gathering place finally shuttered in 2019, and the building came down mere months before the ’20s dawned.  theQatl.com

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS continued Nickiemoto’s Before Ten was scoring 10s, sushi was the name of the game, and Dragamaki was a Monday-night must for Midtown gays at the corner of 10th Street and Piedmont Avenue.

Outwrite After a fundraising campaign and weeks of hinting that, despite its financial troubles, Outwrite would move to a new location, owner Philip Rafshoon closed the LGBTQ bookstore at 10th and Piedmont in January 2012.

Peek-A-Boo The gay male-centered sex shop along LGBTQ Atlanta’s “red light district” on Piedmont Circle closed in 2016 after nearly two decades. Its razing was one of many changes in what some de-cry as a “de-queering” of the Cheshire Bridge Road corridor.

Big Red Tomato It wasn’t about the food, though it was fine if you ask most.

It was about the gathered gays. After its demise, several iterations tried and failed to make it work in the same location before Campagnolo’s made it home with staying power.

Agnes & Muriel’s

The Living Room Clapbacks with the city over its practices and withheld funding spiraled into shuttered doors for some 80 HIV+ clients. Before its 2019 closure, the agency offered 20 years of housing assistance for people living with the disease.

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Two queer women, lots of ’50s kitsch and one great restaurant.

The old house isn’t even next to Hobnob anymore, but the memories of amazing Southern comfort-food remain. Pssst: Their cookbook is available online.

GOOD EATS

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GIVE

GIVING GUIDE Q

a Little Local queer causes need the gift that actually keeps giving all year

AID Atlanta

By Mike Fleming

W

hile you’re busy making a list and checking it twice, don’t forget that there are worthy non-profits making life better year-round for local LGBTQ people.

Sharing the wealth with organizations that make Atlanta a better place is also a year-end tax break, so giving back in some ways is like doing yourself a favor, too. Not to mention flowing, juicy, delicious queer karma.

Do it for them, do it for you, but just do it. Here are a few of our favorite local non-profits that deserve your consideration this year.

Known for its AIDS Walk Atlanta & 5K Run, AID Atlanta has been providing HIV/AIDS-related services and education since the beginning of the crisis in 1982. Since then, it has evolved to serve a broader range of clients and services. In 2014, it became an affiliate of AIDS Healthcare Foundation. aidatlanta.org  theQatl.com

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Donations have

IMPACT

91% Patient Viral Suppression

Treating and caring for individuals who are affected by HIV impacts their lives and helps stop HIV transmission. We are committed to reducing the greater Atlanta community’s viral load and ending this epidemic in our community.

Your Donation has IMPACT! $50 covers round-trip transportation to a medical appointment $100 provides HIV testing and counseling services to 4 individuals at risk $500 provides a family with rental assistance for 1 month $2,500 funds critical lab costs for an uninsured patient $5,000 will supply 350 patients with copay assistance for a year

Give at PositiveImpactHealthCenters.org

GIVING GUIDE continued Q

Georgia Equality

Atlanta Pride The largest festival in the Southeast is free to all comers thanks to donations and sponsorships, and the committee officially donates to other LGBTQ causes and other non-profits in the equality movement. atlantapride.org

Counter Narrative Project Under the watchful eye of director Charles Stephens, CNP builds power among black gay men, working in solidarity with all movements committed to racial and social justice to amplify black gay male voices through media, advocacy and political education. thecounternarrative.org

If it’s happening in LGBTQ rights in Georgia, these activists have a hand in it. From lobbying in the legislature to grassroots initiatives, this dedicated staff and its volunteers are busy year-round. georgiaequality.org

Positive Impact Health Centers

The Health Initiative In addition to providing the only Affordable Care Act assistance specifically dedicated to getting LGBTQ Georgians covered, this group can also connect any queer person in the state to doctors, screenings and other care regardless of income. thehealthinitiative.org HRC Atlanta The host of HRC Atlanta Dinner & Silent Auction supports local and national LGBTQ initiatives with year-round events and fundraisers. hrcatlanta.org Joining Hearts Prolific fundraisers for groups fighting HIV for more than three decades, this group throws Atlanta’s largest queer pool party and scores of satellite events. joininghearts.org

Client-centered care to give the HIV community a life worth loving on a sliding scale of fees. Services include HIV specialty medical care, dental referrals, HIV and STI testing, risk reduction, individual and group counseling, mental health counseling for individuals groups and couples, psychiatry and substance abuse treatment. In 2020, add pharmacy to the list. positiveimpacthealthcenters.org SnAP

Pets Are Loving Support PALS was founded at the dawn of the AIDS crisis. It helps critically ill and elderly people keep and care for their pets. Fundraisers include quarterly Bingo games at Lips. palsatlanta.org

The Solutions Not Punishment Collaborative is a black, trans-led, Atlanta-based coalition to build a black, queer, trans, feminist movement toward practical abolition. snap4freedom.org 

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GIVING GUIDE continued Q

Thrive SS This group led by men of color supports health equity for people living with HIV through lessening gaps or disparities. It is part of the collaborative that founded The SPOT resource center. thrivess.org

Southern Fried Queer Pride If you think it’s all about a springtime event series or a year-round party crew, think again. Few other, if any, organizations in town reach directly into the day-to-day lives of young and disenfranchised LGBTQ people of color. southernfriedqueerpride.com

Someone Cares, Inc.

Trans Housing Atlanta Program THAP connects transgender and gender nonconforming people in metro Atlanta directly to available safe housing and supportive services. transhousingatlanta.org Founded and directed by Ronnie Bass since 1996, Someone Cares offers a holistic approach to fighting HIV/AIDS among LGBTQ, marginalized, indigent, homeless and high at-risk populations. Services include primary care, addiction counseling and treatment, mental health counseling and treatment, and drug screening collection. someonecaresatl.org Southerners on New Ground SONG is a regional queer liberation organization made up of people of color, immigrants, undocumented people, people with disabilities, working class and rural and small town LGBTQ people in the South. southernersonnewground.org

Voices of Note Through the combined efforts of Atlanta Gay Men’s Chorus and Atlanta Women’s Chorus, performances promote equality to diverse audiences, serve as a catalyst for social change, and inspire hearts and minds to change and embrace each other. voicesofnote.org theQatl.com

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In 2019, Project Q Atlanta and Q magazine proudly supported these 29 non-profits, charities and HIV service organizations across metro Atlanta with more than $75,000 in donated advertising.

Action Cycling Atlanta

Cobb & Douglas Public Health

PALS Atlanta

Actor’s Express

Fair Fight Action

Pinch ‘N’ Ouch Theatre

AID Atlanta

Front Runners Atlanta

Positive Impact Health Centers

All Stripes

Georgia Equality

Pure Heat Community Festival

Atlanta Pride Committee

Hate Is Wrong

Saint Mark United Methodist Church

Atlanta Freedom Bands

In the Life Atlanta

Second Life Atlanta

Atlanta Jewish Film Festival

Jerusalem House

Someone Cares Atlanta

Aurora Theatre

Joining Hearts

SouthEast LeatherFest

Belong.LGBT

OUT Georgia

Voices of Note

Boybutante AIDS Foundation

Out on Film

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Photo by Russ Bowen-Youngblood

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COVER Q

New l a m r Fabno

The

ns Artist finds ico lanta’s to highlight At orhoods b h ig e n r e e u q varied

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Q

ART continued

P

By Patrick Saunders eople, get ready. Fabnormal is here, and it’s so queer and so Atlanta. The latest combination of must-attend event by Rigel Gemini and must-see artwork by his artist husband Cameron Lee took its bow on Nov. 15 and shows no signs of stopping.

Lee’s new Fabnormal collection is a celebration of Atlanta’s people and places. It presents a diverse group of local queer luminaries in digital collages with notable intersections in different parts of the city (images on these pages and on this issue’s Q cover).

“My Puerto Rican grandmother used to do cutouts where they were pictures of landscapes, and they were very vibrant and colorful,” Lee told Q. “Collage work is a good way to bridge in many elements of an environment, a person, a society. It’s a way to pull in a lot of things to make a larger statement.”

Trans activist Micky Bradford, local politico Justin Pitts, drag artist Brigitte Bidet, rapper Charlie Xile, actress Brande Elise and drag artist TJ Maxxx are the featured models in the collection.

“Atlanta has such a vibrant LGBTQ community that’s really fun and has so many different types of ways to represent itself, from political figures to artistic to nightlife,” Lee said. “I felt it was really important to focus on that, and I just wanted to get a broad range of that. I really celebrate them and feel like they need to be shown out there and for more people to appreciate who they are.”

Lee was intentional about the locations at which he chose to shoot each model. He shot Bradford at the Southwest Atlanta arts complex the Bakery.

“I chose that location because they are so pro-trans and equality first, and I wanted a safe space to photograph her that also represented the community,” Lee said.

TJ Maxxx was photographed in East Atlanta since they often perform there. Bidet was photographed in Little Five Points, where she lives.

“There’s street signs from the area, and I wanted to get that gritty fun atmosphere that Brigitte also represents,” Lee said.

“She sparkles but she’s got edges that are rough.”

The Fabnormal queer art showcase is the third in Atlanta by Gemini and Lee and the first since Spectra. Like that show and collection did, the Fabnormal event featured not only Lee’s latest work, but that of other local LGBTQ artists plus live performances from drag to vogue to a “queer raptress.”

Event mastermind Gemini also launched his self-titled custom fragrance during the event, and a fundraising raffle benefited TRANScending Barriers.

Large, framable Fabnormal images are available for purchase at rigelgemini.bigcartel.com. Visit cameronleeart.com and follow @ rigelgemini and @cameronleeart on Instagram.

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta

December 12 – December 25 THURSDAY, DEC. 12

Holy Sh!t

The comedy night curated by Q’s own Ian Aber in the queer-run halls @ Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room, 10 p.m. sisterlouisaschurch.com

John Waters Christmas

The King of Trash returns with his Filthier

& Merrier show @ Variety Playhouse, 8 p.m. varietyplayhouse.com

MAAP Mix & Mingle

The holiday version of the monthly mixer with Metro Atlanta Associ-

ation of Professionals @ Alexan on

8th, 6 p.m. maapatl.com

FRIDAY, DEC. 13 DJ Mister Richard

Take a disco nap, because it’s going to be a bumpy night @ Atlanta Eagle, 10 p.m. atlantaeagle.com

Illuminate

The season-closing 11th-anniversary exhibit and artist mixer in the queer-led spaces @ Kai Lin Art, 5 p.m. kailinart.com

FRIDAY, DEC. 13 A Tuna Christmas

The two-person, 20-character romp

through the smalltown South that

gives more than it receives this holiday @ Georgia Ensemble Theatre, through Dec. 29. get.org

Christmas with the Crawfords

Atlanta’s LGBTQ theater company takes on a camp classic. Based on a 1949 radio broadcast from Joan Crawford’s home, exaggerated silver

screen icons visit for the holidays @ Out Front Theatre Company, 7 p.m. outfrontheatre.com

SATURDAY, DEC. 14 Drag Queen Brunch

The new party at a queer foodie fave continues

with DJ beats after the show @ Twisted Soul, 12 noon. twistedsoulcookhouseandpours.com 

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THE GAY AGENDA continued

Atlanta's first urban winery, intimate music venue, restaurant, bar & private event space

from vine

to venue

Gays For Plays

It’s Pride Night with a gathering to watch Invasion Christmas Carol @ Dad’s Garage, 7 p.m. dadsgarage.com ‘80s New Wave

The video dance party your inner child longs for every second Saturday with VJ Anthony @ Amsterdam, 10 p.m. amsterdamatlanta.com

SUNDAY, DEC. 15 Toy Party

For The Kid in All of Us downsizes its signature event. Bring a toy for kids @ Wimbish House, 6 p.m. forthekid.org

MONDAY, DEC. 16

Bound

Wussy screens this camp classic lesson in how to tip the mainstream

on its ear with light lesbian kink, 1990s style @ Plaza Theatre, 7 p.m. wussymag.com

THURSDAY, DEC. 19

indulge your senses 650 north ave ne, suite 201, atlanta, ga 30308 404-winery1 | citywinery.com/atlanta

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Big Queer Game Show

House of Alxndr resurrects the best idea ever with TV-style games and performances @ The Bakery, 10 p.m. thebakeryatlanta.com

FRIDAY, DEC. 20 G8yties

Gay male dance party like some of you remember it and others of you can only imagine @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

Visit theQatl.com each Thursday for an updated list of the Best Queer Things to Do every weekend.

MARY’S 21ST ANNIVERSARY

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD

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Q

Q SHOTS

DJ DAVE AUDE AT TEN

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD

Q

Q SHOTS

THANKSGIVING EVE AT HERETIC

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com 36

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PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD

Q

THEQ?!

Addicted to LOVE

The high cost of navigating love vs. obsession

Q

I spent years being single, convinced that I’d never feel again that glorious infatuation of new love. The drama of a long union and a complicated breakup resigned me to the fact that the numbness of being single was just fine with me.

I thought giddy romance was for teenagers or young adults, that I had aged out of not only dating, but love itself. A new guy changed all that, but what I forgot about the epic highs of love are the nearly catastrophic lows.

It’s been blissful to connect on so many levels. I often feel like a kid again. We made a pact to say something sweet to each other at least once a day to keep the fires burning. It works usually, if not as well as it used to, especially if there’s been a dustup or we’ve been apart for a while.

These days, the sex is still passionate, but it’s as often make-up sex as it is a function of romance. The satisfaction doesn’t seem to last, and before long we’re unable to live up to each other’s expectations.

Sweet fulfillment is replaced by intense loneliness and depression.

When he’s not here, I want him. When he is, we can be miserable.

The low periods don’t bring out my best self, or his, and that leads to miscommunication and hurt feelings, then passion, then the cycle begins again. I waited a long time for this man to enter my life, but I’m not sure I can handle the price I pay when things go south.

Dear Addict: Sadly, you are what Meemaw used to call “in love with love.”

Your extreme ups and downs — glorious, catastrophic, blissful, intense, epic, miserable, giddy, depressed, fulfilled — make up a textbook case of love addiction. Chasing the feelings, and the desperation when you’re not priming that pump, are a common issue, so there’s plenty of good info and professional help.

One of the best books is Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody. For a quick primer, we also offer four key symptoms showing that you have it, as well as the mirror image in a healthy relationship for comparison, by Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., MFT, CST, CSAT. Love addiction is a painful and debilitating illness, just like alcoholism. Here is a summary of the major symptoms, followed by a description of what might constitute alternative healthy behavior.

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• Tolerance. The love addict requires increasing displays of romance, contact with the object of affection, or emotional highs related to being in love.

A healthy partner recognizes another’s limitations and boundaries and does not use the other person to medicate emotions.

• Withdrawal. If this “supply” of romance becomes threatened, the love addict experiences withdrawal symptoms akin to those of a drug addict: anxiety, physical ailments, sleeplessness, eating problems, despair or anger. They may even retaliate.

When faced with disappointment, a healthy partner practices acceptance and patience, realistically assessing their lover’s availability and deciding to move on if unhappy.

• Isolation. The love addict slowly becomes more and more preoccupied or enmeshed with romantic affairs, to the exclusion of selfcare, work responsibilities, family and friendships. Isolation sets in.

A healthy partner pursues life goals independently, continuing to grow as a person. They maintain strong ties to a community, family, friends or a support group.

• Denial. The love addict returns to hurtful or dangerous relationships over and over, unable to extricate themselves from the situation.

A healthy partner acknowledges a dysfunctional partnership and recoils from it, seeking help if necessary.

There are even several queer and queer-inclusive SLAA (Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous) meetings in Atlanta every day of the week. Give Google a spin. You and yours may be able to find a deeper connection that is also healthy if you’re willing to put in the work.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@theqatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON