Q magazine v1i19 | March 29, 2018

Q

Q ueer Band CUB SPORT

inform | inspire

See &

BE SEEN

Trans Day of Visibility in Atlanta

So You Wanna Be a TRANSGENDER ALLY Two Sides of YOUR SEXUAL COIN

Q ueer Agenda for EASTER WEEKEND March 29, 2018

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Q News Q Voices Q Shots

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gynecomastia:

The Male Curse So many men have enlarged breasts. Did you know that 30-60% of men are affected by large breasts?

This common condition affects the self-esteem of men. The cause and treatments remain a mystery for most men because we never discuss the issue.

If you are embarrassed to remove your shirt in public or in private because of your chest… you have Gynecomastia.

Gynecomastia is caused by an imbalanced ratio of testosterone to estrogen at puberty.

This imbalance can cause fat and/or glandular tissue to be deposited in greater quantity in the breasts. Gym steroids can cause or contribute to gynecomastia.

Surgery is the only way to fix the problem.

Liposuction with or without glandular excision is the cure. These procedures are performed as out-patient surgeries. Most men will miss only a few days from work. Post-operative pain and discomfort is minimal.

Since there are no adverse health effects with Gynecomastia, it is considered a cosmetic surgical procedure. The cost of the treatment is similar to liposuction costs.

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EDITOR’S NOTE Q Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@QMAGATLANTA.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@QMAGATLANTA.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@QMAGATLANTA.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@QMAGATLANTA.COM

We See

YOU

Celebrating visibility as precious and critical for our shared fight toward equality

AS READERS ARE LEARNING FAST, our ongoing mission here at Q magazine is to highlight and celebrate every aspect of an endlessly diverse LGBTQ Atlanta. As part and parcel, this week’s issue is proud to help celebrate a relatively new holiday on the queer calendar.

We all know that standing up, declaring who we are, and telling our stories is good for the whole movement, so International Transgender Day of Visibility on March 31 is worthy of note.

It commemorates the struggle for the ‘T’ in our beloved acronym. Inextricably sewn into the fabric of the queer tapestry since before Stonewall, the often-rocky, always-inspiring journey for trans brothers and sisters is everyone’s story, even if factions of the community don’t acknowledge it like they should.

ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@QMAGATLANTA.COM CONTRIBUTORS LAURA BACCUS BUCK C. COOKE JON DEAN BRAD GIBSON TAMEEKA L. HUNTER SUNNI JOHNSON ERIC PAULK ALEXANDRA TYLER DISCLAIMER The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors do not necessarily reflect opinions, beliefs or official policies of Q Magazine or its publisher Initial Media, except where individual publishers’ names specifically appear. Appearance of photos, credits, or names in this publication neither implies or explicitly states the sexual orientation or gender identity of its subject.

Q Magazine and the author of each article published on this web site owns his or her own words, except where explicitly credited otherwise. Articles herein may not be freely redistributed unless all of the following conditions are met. 1. The re-distributor is a non-commercial entity. 2. The redistributed article is not be sold for a profit, or included in any media or publication sold for a profit, without the express written consent of the author and this publication. 3. The article runs in full and unabridged. 4. The article runs prominently crediting both the author’s name and “courtesy Q Magazine.”

To acknowledge and help change that, our Cover Feature turns again to photographer Jon Dean. He shoots and interviews six local trans folks making change by being visible, not just on TDOV, but every day. They reveal details on their journeys, advice for young trans people just starting to explore their identities, and shout-outs to what cis queers can do to help ease their paths.

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

Inspired, we asked GLAAD what more we can do as allies, and the 10 Queer Things feature has those insights and revelations.

Speaking of revelations, I saw a Rolling Stone article a few months back touting the indie-pop stylings of Australian cuties Cub Sport as an up-and-coming Big Deal waiting to be discovered. On a hunch and with a little digging, I found out they’re all queer and coming to Atlanta. I sicced music bloodhound Buck Cooke on them, and his Music interview appears in advance of their April 3 kickoff to a U.S. tour. Take note, because you’re going to love them.

Over in Voices, Eric Paulk says conservative reactions to the Parkland shooting are putting LGBTQ students in the line of future fire, and in The Q column, sexual two-faces rear their heads in need of advice. As always, we have Q Shots from recent events, and a whole the Queer Agenda calendar for the new ones. The latter is expanded this week to take on a packed Easter Weekend of options.

We hope you like this issue. If you do, please tell your friends to pick us up each week, and to visit our Project Q Atlanta homesite for new content every day. And feel free to write me any time with your Q-related questions and comments. theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

MARCH 29, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS Ally Moves

17

COVER STORY

8

See Me

Trans Atlantans for Visibility Day MUSIC

13 12

Next Big Thing

26 Bro Brews

You heard about Cub Sport here first

QUEER AGENDA

14

Easter Bunnies

31 Political Party

Hop into Atlanta’s big gay weekend

FEATURES

4

Q Voices

6

Q News

11

Q Shots

26

The Q

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Q

Q VOICES

In the Line of

FIRE How the Parkland shooting put all LGBTQ students in danger

THE SCHOOL SHOOTING IN PARKLAND, FLA., like all school shootings, is a tragedy that has become far too common in the America in which we live. In the aftermath, school safety proposals have included overhauling Obamaera directives to address racial disparities in school discipline, potentially arming teachers and staff, and increasing policing on school campuses.

These proposals ignore the fact that LGBTQ students of color, especially black LGBTQ students, tend to be more harshly disciplined and punished than their peers, and that these disparities could potentially exacerbate the issue by increasing youth incarceration through the school-to-prison, bringing more guns into classrooms, and ultimately wasting valuable educational resources.

These proposals, especially arming teachers, will almost certainly result in a greater numbers of queer student deaths.

Zero tolerance policies, which require specific punishments for specific student misbehaviors and fail to account for the unique circumstances of an incident, are a primary contributor to the school-to-prison pipeline. Unfortunately, the youth who are most impacted by the school-to-prison pipeline are likely to be those who need the most support, including low-income students, black and non-black students of color, LGBTQ students and students with disabilities, with many students falling into more than one category.

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• LGB youth, particularly gender-nonconforming girls, are up to three times more likely to experience harsh disciplinary treatment by school administrators than their non-LGB counterparts.

• As with racial disparities in school discipline, higher rates of punishment do not correlate with higher rates of misbehavior among LGBT youth.

• LGB youth are overrepresented in the juvenile justice system; they make up just 5 percent to 7 percent of the overall youth population, but represent 15 percent of those in the juvenile justice system.

And while data does not exist specifically for LGBTQ youth, black youth and students with disabilities are often subject to violence in schools. They are disproportionately subject to corporal punishment, and according to research conducted by the Brookings Institute, are more as likely to be subject to corporal punishment.

A 2016 study of Denver Public Schools found that many teachers, especially young white women, are afraid of their black students, resulting in different punishments for black students who commit the same offenses as their white counterparts. This demonstrates how non-threating behavior by black youth is often perceived criminally, and how an object like a toy, or a candy bar, or cellphone becomes a gun when placed in their hands.

ERIC PA U L K

The school-to-prison pipeline is a national phenomenon that criminalizes student misbehaviors and then uses punitive consequences that tend to push youth out of schools and into the criminal justice systems. At its core, the school-to-prison pipeline reflects the failure of schools to address structural barriers and to meet the educational and social development needs of the youth they are charged with serving.

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According to the Center for American Progress:

How well would these students fare in schools when teachers are on the lookout for potential shooters?

As these marginalized groups receive the brunt of state violence that pervades our schools, an increased pathway to violence by way of arming teachers means a greater added likelihood that these young people will come into contact with violence. Additionally, increased policing of schools means a greater likelihood that these students will have interactions with the criminal justice system.

LGBTQ youth of color, in many instances, already have it hard in schools. Heightened surveillance and policing in our educational settings make it even more difficult.

One of the most basic tenets of our social contract is to protect young people as they learn, but “protection” should not turn our most vulnerable students into victims.

Eric Paulk is an advocate working at the intersections of race, class, and sexuality. Follow him on Twitter @ EricPaulk.

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10 QUEER THINGS

theQatl.com

10 Ways

You Can Be A

TRANSGENDER ALLY Help expand the spirit of Trans Day

of Visibility through the rest of the year

By Mike Fleming

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS About a trans person’s sexual orientation and realize they are separate aspects of identity.

LISTEN & LEARN Ask for and use preferred pronouns she, he and they.

It’s not that hard. Also respect the use of non-binary or gender queer instead of “transgender.”

WHAT’S IN A NAME? Don’t ask trans brothers and sisters what their “real name” is. They’re leaving it behind, and so should you.

CHALLENGE & DEFEND Speak up if disparaging comments are made behind people’s backs, sadly yes even in LGB spaces.

IT’S PERSONAL Don’t out people as trans. People’s gender history is confidential and theirs to share (or not).

BE PATIENT

It may take time for someone to explore and fully realize their gender identity, and every person is different. There’s no right or wrong way to transition, and there’s no time table.

PRIVATE PARTS

People’s primary sex organs are none of your business, and ditto if they’ve had “the surgeries.”

SEX LIFE

Sex acts are between the people engaging in them.

If you’re cis and gay, think of this one as a straight person asking your habits.

AVOID BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS

Just say no to “I would have never known,” “You look just like a ‘real woman,’” and “I’d date him even though he’s transgender.”

BE INCLUSIVE

Find ways to include transgender people and topics in workplaces, organizing meetings, public spaces, and other gatherings.

Source: glaad.org

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Q NEWS Q

Bubbles & BISCUITS Victory Fund pops corks for LGBT candidates in Atlanta

By Matt Hennie WITH BISCUITS AND PLENTY OF BUBBLY, THE Victory Fund toasted LGBT candidates, elected officials and supporters during its annual fundraising brunch in Atlanta on March 18.

Annise Parker – the out former Houston mayor and new president and CEO of the Victory Fund – said despite a tough election cycle last fall for LGBT candidates in Atlanta, the organization is excited about elections in 2018.

“It’s good to be here because there’s a whole lot of candidates in Georgia and we’re excited about that,” Parker told the crowd during the Bubbles & Biscuits brunch at Wimbish House.

Just three of 16 LGBT candidates in metro Atlanta won their races last fall and those loses included two high-profile races with Victory Fund-endorsed candidates – Cathy Woolard for Atlanta mayor and Alex Wan for City Council president. But Parker reminded voters that despite winning nine races in Houston – including three terms as mayor – she lost two races before that winning streak.

“Losing is tough. Losing hurts. If you handle losing the right way, it tells you how to refocus and win. Losses that we had here in the City of Atlanta are going to help us win in the future because we are going to get back up and blow the doors off next time,” Parker said.

“It also focuses us on this year’s elections to make sure we don’t come in a day late and a dollar short and that we don’t listen to anybody that says you can’t do it,” she added.

Parker, who hosted a fundraiser in her Houston home for Woolard, said it’s frustrating that in 2017 they still faced critics saying LGBT candidates can’t win in the South.

“We were still hearing, even after all of this time electing LGBT people to office in Atlanta, oh you can’t win. That is so frustrating.

Of course we can win. There are no guarantees but the right candidate in the right place with the right message and community support can always win,” Parker said.

Out state Reps. Park Cannon and Sam Park

‘Losses that we had here in the City of Atlanta are going to help us win in the future because we are going to get back up and blow the doors off next time.’ ­— Annise Parker, former Houston mayor The brunch highlighted two state House incumbents the Victory Fund has already endorsed – Reps. Park Cannon and Sam Park.

Both Democrats face election challenges this year – Cannon in the primary in May and Park in the general election.

“There are places where we can compete successfully, even in the South,” Parker said. “Out candidates are embedded in the community, they know what the community issues are and by being out, it gives them an immediate image of integrity, of being authentic and they run on that.”

Cannon and Park are two of the four openly LGBTQ members of the Georgia House. Reps. Karla Drenner and Renitta Shannon are running unopposed.

Joseph Geierman and Stephe Koontz – LGBT candidates who won election to the Doraville City Council last fall – attended the event, along with candidates Matthew Wilson (House District 80), Richie Knight (Athens mayor), Everton Blair, Jr. (Gwinnett County Board of Education District 4), and 6th District Congressional candidates Kevin Abel and Steven Griffin. theQatl.com

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Q

MUSIC

‘BATS’ Out of Oz Q ueer Aussie band Cub Sport kicks off U.S. tour in Atlanta … and why you should pay attention

By Buck C. Cooke

YOU MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF CUB SPORT, BUT that’s about to change.

Hailing from Brisbane, Australia, the band took Oz by storm, conquered the United Kingdom, and sets their sights on the States this spring with raves already coming from music bastions like Rolling Stone.

Cub Sport kicks off its first headline tour of the U.S. on Tuesday, April 3, at one of the most iconic live music venues in metro Atlanta: Eddie’s Attic in Decatur. The intimate setting is the perfect place to

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Since Australia passed marriage equality in December, Nelson says he and Netterfield appreciate the support from their fellow citizens.

“As well as being able to marry legally now, it’s just a really nice feeling knowing that the majority of the nation has our backs and believes we deserve the same opportunities as any heterosexual person,” he says.

With LGBTQ equality and visibility ever on the rise, Nelson says it is crucial for LGBTQ people to be represented in popular culture on albums like BATS. “It reminds us that we’re not alone, especially for young people who are figuring themselves out,” Nelson says. “It’s so exciting seeing more and more queer representation, not just in entertainment but also in sports and politics.”

Cub Sport themselves also look within the LGBTQ community for inspiration.

“Frank Ocean is my number one,” Nelson says. “I adore his voice, lyrics, songs, production, videos, photos, interviews – literally everything he does inspires me.”

BATS, the band’s second album, is a collection of songs Nelson wrote as he came to accept his sexual orientation and his feelings for Netterfield.

“Stylistically, our second album is a bit more chill and alludes to some R&B/soul influences,” Nelson says. “I’ve also become more confident opening up with my lyrics, which has had a big impact.”

hear Cub Sport perform material from their latest and most personal album to date, BATS. “The album largely follows my personal journey of coming out as gay and falling in love and all of the uncertainty and excitement that comes with navigating your 20s,” Tim Nelson, the lead singer and songwriter for the band, tells Q magazine.

“It’s been really inspiring to see the way it’s resonated with people going through the same things,” he continues. “We’ve received messages from lots of people saying we’ve helped them learn to love, accept, and believe in themselves which makes what we’re doing is all the more worthwhile.”

Nelson and Sam Netterfield, the band’s keyboardist, knew each other through school and music. They came out last year as gay and as a couple and are now engaged to be married in August.

The album made a splash Down Under and spawned three buzzy singles in their homeland: “Chasin’,” “Good Guys Go,” and “O Lord.” All three feature videos awash in color and have a retro vibe. “O Lord” is incredibly sensual with Nelson, Netterfield, guitarist Zoe Davis (who is also out), and drummer Dan Puusaari serving dewy glam-rock realness.

For the tour, Nelson the band is excited to show Cub Sport’s growth .

“Our live show has developed a lot since we last played in the U.S.,” he says. “We’ve upped the production quality, and I feel like coming out has led to a new confidence and calmness around performing that wasn’t there before.”

Nelson, who describes the band’s music as “emotional-pop,” is anxious to start the tour here.

“I’m so excited, it’ll be our first time playing in Atlanta!”

Cub Sport plays Eddie’s Attic on Tuesday, April 3, at 7 p.m. cubsport.com, eddiesattic.com theQatl.com

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

March 29 - April 4

FRIDAY MARCH 30

Served in Silence

Atlanta man Mark David Gibson launches his book about his experience being gay in the military @ Fox Theatre, 7 p.m. markdavidgibson.com

Midnight Train to Georgia

EASTER SUNDAY, APRIL 1

The spring concert from Atlanta Gay Men’s

Heifer Review Anniversary

chorus features songs close to home @ Out Front

It’s another trip around the sun for this

Theatre, 8 p.m. voicesofnote.org

steak lunch drag show, plus it’s Easter so

dress up for prizes @ Cowtippers, 1 p.m.

PasQUEERa

cowtippersatlanta.com

This “QueerdX and LatinX dance party” as the

first of several Easter Weekend events at multiple venues from Deep South. Get started with DJs

Brian Rojas (photo) and Esme @ Mary’s, 10 p.m. marysatlanta.com

Sunday Funday: Easter Edition

The cast of Fantasy Girls hosts this day of bonnets and boys @ Ten, 4 p.m. facebook.com/TenAtlanta

ABCD Show

SATURDAY, MARCH 31

The collaborative A Burlesque

Comedy Drag Show returns with

International Trans Day of Visibility

performances @ Laughing Skull,

A week of Atlanta commemorations from

8 p.m. laughingskulllounge.com

Solutions Not Punishment Coalition culminates in this roundtable summit. Other events during

Easter Sunday Service

the week include Queering Reproductive Justice,

The grand finale of Deep South’s

and a keynote with Amir Rabiyah. eventbrite.com

Weekend also kicks off a season of Church patio parties from Vicki

Atlanta Field Day

Powell. DJs Mark Louque, Mouth-

Action Cycling Atlanta,

feel and Powell herself beat down @

which rides across North

Georgia against AIDS in May,

benefits from this annual day of

schoolyard games for grownups @ Emory

Sister Louisa’s Church of the Living Room, 7

p.m. Look for an as-yet-announced afterhours, too.

sisterlouisaschurch.com

Recreation Field, 10 a.m. av200.org Drag Queen Story Time

Terracotta Sugarbaker takes on a springtime

theme for her latest reading hour for children

and adults alike @ Ponce Library, 3 p.m. afpls. org/ponce-branch6

Queeriety

“Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” is the theme for all the improvisation, sketches, stand-up comedy,

puppetry, and drag performances you can handle

@ Village Theatre, 11 p.m. facebook.com/queeriety Honcho

The second Deep South Easter Weekend dance party features George

d’Adhemar, Aaron Clark and Clark Price with an opening set by Vicki Powell @ Music Room, 10 p.m. Guests get password to XXX After Hours with Rose Dommu and Robert Ansley, 3 a.m. boomboxatl.com 14

theQatl.com

Easter Drag Races

The Armorettes host the event that put gay Easter on the map in Atlanta @ Oscar’s Parking Lot, 2 p.m. facebook.com/thearmorettes

News | Events | Culture | Photos | Podcast

IN PRINT WEEKLY new content online daily

Q Magazine 16

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Project Q Atlanta

COVER Q

Trans Day of Visibility

Jaybella BANK$

in Atlanta with

@j_bellabankz Real, Ethnic, Hoodrich

six locals out and proud

“My skin is like Licorice My pride is so proud My talent is extraordinary And my style is so divine I am the darkest of berries And always the sweetest of wine I always make sure to spread love wherever I touch Hey when life throws you lemons Shit you make fruit punch Georgia southern peach until the day I die Proud strong black Trans I’m here to tell no lie.”

every day of the year

See &

BE SEEN

By Jon Dean jondeanphoto.com

A

s Atlanta celebrates and commemorates International Trans Day of Visibility, including a week of events leading up to a Roundtable Summit with Solutions Not Punishment, this week’s photo essay chats with six transgender and gender non-binary Atlantans.

While capturing their essences with light, we ask each one to enlighten us on their journey, and to offer advice for other trans people who may be on rough roads, as well as what cis folks can do to help smooth their paths. 

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Q

COVER, Continued

Frankie

@everyheadismycanvas Bold, Fluid, Colorful “I’m an artistic queer activist, who wears his heart on his sleeve while creating art on any canvas.”

On coming out: The first time at 16, I was unfortunately was outed as gay, then came out as trans on my own terms around 23.

What can cis folks do to be better allies?

Help to bridge the gap between just knowing and understanding queer culture. Never assume anyone’s gender or identity. Train yourself to use more gender neutral vocabulary.

What advice would you give young trans individuals?

See your transition one tree at a time, not the whole forest.

Celebrate every victory, even if it’s small. Keep a mentor/ friend close, ask for help if you need it. Don’t feel pressure to fit the mold of what you see as “perfect.” Everyone’s journey is different.

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COVER, Continued

Lewis BELLO @whatsmysterymeat

“I’m just some trash kid from a trailer park making his way in the city. I’m very scatterbrained and aloof, sometimes reckless, but I haven’t had a boring day in years. I’m a drag artist named Mystery Meat, and that’s kind of my love and drive in life at the moment. I love being immersed in queer culture and in a space that’s often about celebration. I love the sense of family I’ve built because of it.

On style: Punk, Goth, Stupid On the journey: It took me a lot to realize I was trans, because I didn’t want to be trans. I was really conflicted about my gender identity. My mother kept drilling me about my sexuality, which was difficult for me to explain to her without explaining my gender. So I kinda took a dive and started telling her and others that I was a guy. And I found myself to be a lot happier, so I continued down that pathway. Dysphoria aside, I’ve never been happier with myself.

On cis folks: Listen to us! The amount of frustrating conversations and arguments that could’ve been diffused had cis folks just shut up and listened to us. And quit asking the same simple ass questions every time. Especially out at the bars. It’s not my job to educate you while I’m out at the bar trying to have fun. … If you can call a cis drag queen “she” all day, then please don’t act like it’s such a struggle to call me “he.” I don’t buy your plight. Sorry.

Get good or go home.

Advice for young queers: Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your energy. Be kind to yourself, because the world is going to try to kick the shit out of you. It’s not going to be easy, but remember that your happiness is worth it.

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COVER, Continued

Zaida

@gatewaycrush “I’ve been a lot of things, but right now I work in tech and love it. One of my goals is to pioneer technology that promotes values relative to social justice and equity, and develop accessible resources that are specific to the success of trans journeys. Right now I’m just getting my feet wet, so it’ll be a while. I also write occasionally, but most of my free time is spent scouring thrift stores for crop tops and detangling my hair.”

On her style: 90s Centerfold Casual On her journey: I made the decision to come out when I decided to stop being shitty to myself. Best thing I ever did!

On cis folks: Cis folks have a laundry list of things they can do to be better, always. A good place to start would be showing empathy when appropriate and treating trans folks as people first and not like a test to see how awesome your politics are.

To trans kids: Prioritize your safety above everything, and take care of yourselves while never making excuses to forget that you matter. Be brave but mindful, learn about what we’re up against, and be as brilliant as you want to be so you can beat it. It’s not an intuitive thing to consider, but caring for your own well-being will always be the best defense to your misery becoming someone else’s bottom line.

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Ryder MacENTYRE @ryduhh They, Them

“I’m a trans nonbinary queer person. I’m a graphic designer, poet, writer and artist. I’m also a proud member of the Metro Atlanta Democratic Socialists of America.”

On their style: Minimal. Monochromatic. Off. On cis allies: Put your pronouns in your bios, dating profiles, on your name tags at events - everywhere! Also never assume someone’s pronouns. It’s always better to ask us in a very polite manner than say “They/Them” to someone who strictly identifies as he or she. It takes a lot of effort for trans people sometimes to present their gender. And be OK with people’s pronouns changing.

Advice to young trans people: You are automatically worthy of love and respect. Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to earn it all the time. Trans people are revolutionary because we breathe and exist in spite of cishet white supremacist patriarchy.

Speaking of - the only political party that has made me feel at home as a worker but most importantly as a trans person has been the DSA. If you’re going to be a queer and/or trans person, you’re already eschewing cis heteronormative modes of being, why not also eschew the very system that endangers trans people the most?

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COVER, Continued

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Brooke Adriana DAVIS @iamtbd Progressive, Chic, Functional

“I’m a 24-year-old self-proclaimed ‘bombshell’ from a small town in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. A true southern belle. After three years performing in night clubs, I had a nervous breakdown fueled by an alcohol and cocaine addiction, and am now transitioning for the second time, starting my journey to sobriety. I have walked away from club entertainment claiming I am not a ‘drag queen’ and never really was. I’m a small-time vlogger documenting my journey to sobriety and MTF transition. I’m a mental health awareness activist encouraging everyone to ask for help if they need it. #SeeSomethingSaySomething” On cis folks: Steps that cis folk can take to be better allies are quite simple. Treat us like human beings, because that is all we are.

To young trans people: Educate yourself. Learn from your mistakes; don’t keep making the same ones. Take care of yourself. Go to the doctor. Do it right. Practice the same kindness you would like from the world. If you’re sad, talk about it. Don’t try to suppress your feelings. They’re there for a reason.

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Q SHOTS

NFFLA MARGARITA BUST AT ZOCALO

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD 26

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Q SHOTS

AID ATLANTA TWISTED BROADWAY AT LIPS

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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BUBBLES & BISCUITS WITH VICTORY FUND

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q SHOTS

HSL PATTY-O PARTY AT FROGS

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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THEQ?!

Flipping the

SEXUAL COIN

Two sides of desire reveal more about you than the objects of your affection

Q

There’s a disconnect between my one-night stands and the girls I actually date. I tend to date sweet girl-next-door types but have sex with naughty girls who nobody in their right mind would ever take home to Mom. The truth of it is that good girls just don’t turn me on. At all. I try to turn my carnal desires toward them, but end up having to make up excuses. I’ve gone directly from one of these dates to one of my dependable bad girl booty calls, where I find no trouble diving right in, so to speak.

I want to settle down with the perfect woman with the perfect life – kids, white picket fence, the whole nine. I’m not going to land that girl if I can’t picture her as the object of my desires. What can I do?

Dear Imbalance: This is a queer twist on the classic Madonna Whore Complex. No, not that Madonna. Stay with me here.

The MW Complex centers on the juxtaposition of emotional attraction to Nice (“Madonna,” as in the Virgin Mary) but sexual attraction to Naughty (“Whore”). For those with the Complex, these attractions are mutually exclusive.

It’s said that people like you might feel guilty for having super

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dirty thoughts about someone they otherwise hold in such high regard. Whatever the cause, you’re not the first to want an upstanding wife in the streets and a ravenous slut in the sheets.

The first step toward making an adjustment is to accept that no real human can live up to your idealized standard of “perfect wife.” On the flip side, there’s something missing when you consider another person solely as an object.

The day you stop glorifying either of those impossible standards is the day you take a step toward seeing the naughty and nice in every potential relationship.

Q

I can make sweet sweet love to my man like some John Legend song wants me to, but when we hit the go-go bar, my inner animal comes out. I want to play rough with my favorite stripper in the VIP room and toss him aside like a used dinner napkin. Should I worry about my different sexual sides?

Dear Two Face: Like our queer cohort above, there is no problem and zero shame in recognizing your different sexual sides. Since you’re not holding back from a “Madonna” to give it to a “Whore,” sounds like you’ve got a good handle on playing both sides of your coin.

Anything to worry about? If you’re asking because your patterns are creating friction in your relationship or within yourself, there’s your answer. My first concern would be less your penchant for go-go peen and more your inclination to use fellow humans like objects.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@qmagatlanta.com.

Illustration by Brad Gibson

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