Q Magazine | V1i5 | December 14, 2017

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Q

EDITOR'S NOTE

terminal

Uniqueness

MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@QMAGATLANTA.COM

Even as we celebrate every shade in the LGBTQ rainbow, what makes you so special?

MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@QMAGATLANTA.COM

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL UNIQUE FLOWER capable of anything you set your mind to do. It’s true, and we all deserve to hear it and say it often. But that’s the beginning, not the end of your story, and we all have one to tell.

RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@QMAGATLANTA.COM

This and every issue of Q celebrates the divine feminine and masculine while trying to tamp out the toxic versions that keep all of us down. This week, our 10 Things gets the cover treatment with ways to crush patriarchal traditions for the better of us all, no matter our gender, orientation, or sexuality. But like all of queer life in Atlanta, that’s just the tip of our coverage.

ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@QMAGATLANTA.COM

We also meet the CLUTCH performers, a queer prepper, a gay comic, and a trans woman whose genitals are none of your business. We even taste real wine pairings you can remember based on the people you date, and visit GCB for last-minute shopping.

GRAPHIC DESIGN TOMMY FLEENOR TOMMY@QMAGATLANTA.COM

Speaking of the hustle and bustle, one queer suggested recently that their problems and responsibilities take more time than other people's. Another sought sympathy over personal dilemmas – then got it and managed to both wallow in and reject the attention because “you can’t fathom what I’m going through.”

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER

How is it that everyone is busier than everyone else? Why is your shit so unusual that no one else could ever get you? Worse, why do you seem to relish these circumstances as if you stand out in a good way? It’s called Terminal Uniqueness, a term originally coined for the lies we tell ourselves to stay helpless.

Don’t worry. You’re special in as much as we all are. There’s a je ne sais quoi about your fabulous self that is undeniable and worthy of celebration. But while our individual takes on life are personal, they’re not unique. Accepting that allows us to embrace help when we need it, open up to the beauty of vulnerability, and connect and ease our beautiful burdens.

There’s a huge emotional investment in believing your life functions differently than others, but good comes from making like Elsa and letting it go. There’s work to do and fun to be had, and we’ll all benefit if you decide to get in on it.

You’re a beautiful unique flower capable of anything you set your mind to do.

Now shut up and put it to work on something for which we can all be proud.

Reach Q publisher and editor Mike Fleming at mike@qmagazineatlanta.com.

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PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC

CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS BUCK C. COOKE BRAD GIBSON SUNNI JOHNSON JAMES HICKS HEATHER MALONEY JAMES SHEFFIELD BO SHELL DUSTIN SHRADER DISCLAMER The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors do not necessarily reflect opinions, beliefs or official policies of Q Magazine or its publisher Initial Media, except where individual publishers’ names specifically appear. Appearance of photos, credits, or names in this publication neither implies or explicitly states the sexual orientation or gender identity of its subject.

Q Magazine and the author of each article published on this web site owns his or her own words, except where explicitly credited otherwise. Articles herein may not be freely redistributed unless all of the following conditions are met. 1. The re-distributor is a non-commercial entity. 2. The redistributed article is not be sold for a profit, or included in any media or publication sold for a profit, without the express written consent of the author and this publication. 3. The article runs in full and unabridged. 4. The article runs prominently crediting both the author’s name and “courtesy Q Magazine” For questions or comments about our content, publications, policies or any other business, visit theQatl.com

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE

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VOLUME 1 ISSUE 5 DECEMBER 14, 2017

GIFT GUIDE

Holiday Shopping

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10 THINGS

Girl Power

10 Ways for all LGBTQs to bring down male privilege

COMMUNITY

13 20 28

So CLUTCH

33 Adult Toys

Fundraising beyond drag and dance parties PEOPLE

Wine & Dine

35 YouWON

How to pair vinos with the flavors of your date(s)

FEATURES Voices 8 Queer Preppers

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Q Shots

31

The Q

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6

36 Santa Speedo

HOLIDAY GIFT CARDS

$20 With $5 Bonus (Gift cards can’t be used same day as purchase)

Let Us Cater Your Holiday Parties!

Hours: Mon-Thurs 11 a.m.-10 p.m. • Fri-Sat 11 a.m.-11 p.m. • Sun: 12 p.m.-10 p.m.

900 Monroe Drive • 404-941-7890 lahaciendamidtown.com • @LaHaciendaMidtown

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Q

VOICES

too IAN

Deep

Navigating homophobia, gaslighting and shooting my mouth off to get a dog named after two gay icons I READ AN ARTICLE THAT SAID PUPPIES help older dogs be more active, or I had a dream I read that article. Either way, my husband Payne finally agreed “more dogs” was the answer, so that’s all I needed to start the search.

I found a great option, a fawn terrier/pug mix named Beyoncé. I am not going to go into what I think of white people naming their pets after people of color (don’t do it), but sufficed to say we wanted to adopt and immediately rename Beyoncé.

I applied and got a response in a day. Our application looked good, so the next steps were to go to the foster home and meet the dog, then they would do a home visit. If both of those went well, we get the dog.

I have heard horror stories of folks going through the process to get a pet and then not getting the dog, often for arbitrary reasons or no reason. Georgia is a right to deny puppy adoption state, apparently. But the foster contacted us and said she would forgo the visit to her house, and she would come us. I started thinking of a more appropriate name for the puppy, like Susan or Hyacinth.

of those people want her, then we could come get the dog.

“Family with children” just kept ringing in my mind.

Is that code for straight people? Is that why she wouldn’t take a seat when I offered her one, or why the whole visit lasted 5 minutes? Holy shit! When I introduced Payne as my husband, was that when she realized? What year is this?

I emailed the rescue group, detailed the visit, and asked what happened. The response was immediate and very apologetic. Excuses were offered. The foster was new to the organization, could be standoffish, and this was her first home visit. The foster herself eventually apologized that I felt that way, but assured me she has gays friends. I didn’t fact check any receipts on her gay friends.

So all that perceived homophobia was explained away as first-home-visit jitters.

The thought that these straight people are just gas lighting me crossed my mind, but I want that dog so I just try to believe. The “family with children” thing keeps crossing my mind, but I say nothing.

We end up picking up the dog. As we I brought her in and introduced her IAN ABER drive off, we decide to name the new to my husband. I offered her a seat. puppy Joan, after Joan Rivers. Like She declined. I told her we have a Joan, I tend to shoot my mouth off fenced in back yard and offered to and get into trouble, but sometimes I’m the only one show it to her. She said she believed me. After five speaking out and end up changing things. minutes of the very stilted small talk, I asked if we could have the night to decide and come and get the Maybe we almost lost this dog to homophobia. puppy the next day. She said yes, and I walked her out Maybe it was miscommunication, but had I not to her car. questioned what happened, I wouldn’t be watching Joan Rivers chew on my husband’s shoes.

When I called to tell her we would love to pick up the dog, she said she’d call me back in an hour. A few JOAN! Stop that! hours go by before she calls and says she has set up Ian Aber is a queer comedian and show promoter living other visits with “Beyoncé” because she thought the in Atlanta. His answer to everything is “more dogs.” Read dog should go to a “family with children.” If none his full column at theQatl.com.

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Dos & don'ts

Genitals are none of your business, and other ways to support our trans brothers and sisters IT CAN FEEL LIKE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS when talking to certain people. Maybe it's someone you look up to or just an especially intimidating individual.

The same can be said for interacting with someone who comes across as different in one way or another. Many people, queer or not, know what it's like to be stared at awkwardly or given a second, more curious glance. Trans people know this all too well. Some of us have to teach etiquette on a weekly or even daily basis, succeeding only some of the time.

VOICES Q tells you what their gender is, that is their gender. No exceptions. It’s not up for discussion.

What about friends who are trans, or if someone who comes out to you? Believe it or not, the most common question, even from friends and family, is about our genitals – if we’ve "had the surgery" or if we are going to have it.

Unless someone gives you express consent to talk about their genitals... Don't talk about someone's genitals. It's weird. It's uncomfortable. It can be borderline, or even outright, harassment.

Speaking of harassment, grabbing or touching a trans woman's breasts qualifies. The fact that they're trans does not give automatic permission to touch their chest as if they'll understand the intent because "they were once a guy." They were never a guy, and it’s still sexual harassment. And if they are a guy, one who might have had surgery to remove his breasts, it's still not an excuse to go touching people. Unless you're intimate with someone, keep your hands to yourself.

Now, what if you're talking about a trans person with someone else? If both parts of the conversation are cisgenH E A T H E R So how can you avoid being rude, M A L O N E Y der, there’s still harm in misgendering disrespectful, or tone-deaf with a trans person. Maybe not directly, transgender people? It's been said a but it encourages the continuation million times, but the most importof intolerance. ant – and obvious – answer is to treat us the same as you would anyone else. Y'know, like a human. More Transitioning isn't something everyone else to "go people have caught onto this rule than haven't as along with." It's who someone is, and all we ask is awareness grows, but it certainly sets the tone others to see — and respect — who we are. nicely regardless.

Nobody is immune to making mistakes, of course.

But what if you see someone "in the wild" who looks I've had experiences with both that left me feeling like they could be transgender? What if you know uncomfortable, if not a bit violated. Ignorance they're transgender? Do you try to show your support is indiscriminate. by mentioning it to them? More often than not, the I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but no answer is no. one else is obligated to do the same. Asking a trans While the sentiment may be appreciated, the fact that person about something trans-related doesn't require it needs to be pointed out can seem awfully unflatterthem to answer. It (usually) isn't their job, and it can ing and potentially invalidating. It can make someone be draining. feel like they stick out. What does work is to just treat Treat your fellow humans nicely. Hopefully, they'll do that individual as any other person of their gender the same. you would otherwise come across.

Heather Maloney is a writer, editor, and creative thinker If you absolutely cannot discern someone’s gender, from Atlanta with a vested interest in gender and sexualavoid using gender-specific language. And regardless ity. Read her full column at theQatl.com. of how you personally perceive anyone, if that person Photo by Robin Rayne Nelson/Zuma.

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

10 Ways

smash the 10

PATRIARCHY

Here’s how female, male, non-binary, cis and trans folks can all be

Girl-Power feminists in our daily lives

loveyour BODY

live ACCOUNTABILITY

Through years of societal pressure, too many queers don’t like what we see in the mirror. Rather than eat right, work out, or pamper our bodies because we hate them, take care of your body because you love it. When it comes to empowering ourselves physically and mentally, semantics can turn the tide.

Checking yourself and aligning your own actions with the right values is harder than it might first appear. Then challenge the culture of male entitlement in those around you without apology.

STOP Deifying the

nuclear family

unlearn the 'RULES'

There are as many ways to define your queer circle as there are kinds of queers.

The traditional one with heteronormative gender roles could actually be the worst, not best.

‘Girls don’t do science,’ 'Women are emotional and not logical.' 'Men are logical not emotional.' Three words: You. Be. You. Living against stereotype is standing up to an unjust system.

demand Consent

‘Boys will be boys’ is not a thing. If you see harassment in word or deed, be it passive or direct, fight it at every turn with every fiber of your being.

Interrupt

In the South, we learned it was rude, but especially females learn it maybe too well. When in the face of patriarchal-supporting opinions and systems, decent. Loudly. Be assertive and shut that shit down.

Shut DOWN

TOXIC

masculinity

get inspired

As impossible and damaging as societal standards for women are, the impossible standards for men and male behavior are just as poisonous.

Boys do cry. Vulnerability is valid.

Life is not a contest.

The world is filled with inspiring women. Read their books, attend their lectures, listen to their music, and frequent their businesses.

CELEBRATE Others

PASS itON Supporting your own path to your best self is key to any queer of any gender, but remember to encourage and empower women around you as they reach for their full potential.

Raise sons and daughters who identify as feminists. Encourage mentees to learn and embrace equality in all aspects of their personal and professional lives. Equality starts with you.

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PODCAST Q

Q

shamelessly

FUNNY Photo by Melanie Goldey

Queer comic Ian Aber explains his late blooming as a comedian, why gay crowds are the worst – and best – and the humor he uses to combat homophobia

By Matt Hennie At 38, Ian Aber came out. Not as gay. He'd long since done that, met a man and got legally hitched. But as a comedian. Now the longtime Atlantan has given the finger to the corporate world and is going all-in on comedy.

"I've always loved stand up comedy since I was a kid," Aber said on a new episode of Podcast Q. So the IT guy who worked in the financial services industry for 16 years took a comedy class at Laughing Skull Lounge. He was hooked.

"I just loved it. I knew immediately. I was like I should be doing this forever," said Aber, who also begins a monthly Voices column this week in Q magazine.

Aber hasn't looked back since. He's performed in gay clubs and comedy venues across metro Atlanta and beyond, and expanded his work by branching into creating his own comedy showcases and variety shows to help bring the gay to straight audiences and straight comedians to LGBT crowds.

After more than six years in comedy, Aber said he's finally figured out how to win over a gay crowd – the toughest of all audiences he faces.

"Gay people are a pretty tough audience. They're either not going to laugh at all – at all – or they're going to laugh. It's like with a black audience if they

don't like you, they are sort of vocal about it. The gay audience it's like whew, icy honey. It's icy," Aber said.

"You'll hear from other gay comics that gay audiences are really difficult because they're judging us the hardest. We all think we're the funniest. We're the funniest person that every straight friend of ours knows," he added.

But how does a gay kid from Myrtle Beach, S.C. – one who admits that straight people scared him for many years – find his niche crafting jokes on stages in Atlanta? Flashback to the Eastern Airlines strike of 1989.

"What has to happen is that Eastern Airlines needs to go on strike, ok? And then your father needs to be an Air Force pilot who desperately needs a job and he goes to work as a scab. So we moved here originally for my dad to fly for Eastern Airlines when they were doing their strike and then he ended up losing his job because of course the airline disappeared," Aber explained.

When Aber finally did scratch his comedic itch – and get over his fear of straight people – he faced doubters among friends and colleagues.

"Comedy is a youth obsessed, straight obsessed kind of industry so people thought that was my mid life crisis," Aber said. continued 13

Q

PODCAST Q, continued But by then, he had already found a level of confidence that comes with age and life experiences.

"I, at 38, had reached the level of, I would just say shamelessness would be the best word for it. I am 38.

I'm married. I'm very happy. I'm a heavier guy. I just don't care," Aber said.

"In the gay community sometimes I'm invisible, so I just don't care. I just decided I didn't care anymore and I didn't care what straight people thought anymore, either. And it used to be I didn't want to make other gay people look bad or bring too much attention to myself. I just got over that. It took 38 years to figure out that I was okay with talking in front of people. It can be terrifying for sure," he added.

Aber has also experienced getting on stage and having to set aside his comedy set to diffuse anti-gay jokes that a homophobic comic delivered before him.

"When the happens, I feel like the Holy Spirit takes over, and there's no way I'm not going to address it,” Aber says. “When that happens, I'm like, ‘Oh that happened in front of me for a reason, and now I'm going to go out there, and hand that motherfucker his

ass. I'm going to make my whole set about that."

Recently, Aber's comedy came full circle. He left his corporate gig to join Laughing Skull Lounge, the Atlanta comedy institution where he took the class that sparked his comedy career. He'll be producing shows and booking talent for the venue's satellite locations and other comedy events.

"It's going to pay the bills and it's going to help me pursue comedy fulltime. It's going to be fun,” Aber says. “It's going to be really fun. I'm super excited about it. It's a big huge difference from my daily job.

I'm very happy to be in this position for sure.”

So his comedy won't stop. He'll continue A Burlesque Comedy Drag Show at Laughing Skill – look for a half-dozen shows in 2018 – and he heads up "Sweetbabycheeses" at Relapse Theater in late December. In February, Aber’ll be back at Urban Tree Cidery for a comedy showcase. In the meantime, he's also writing "Ian Too Deep" for Q magazine. (Flip to page 8.)

Listen to the full interview with Ian Aber on Podcast Q, a weekly podcast from Project Q Atlanta.

Visit theQatl.com.

Find Ian Aber on Twitter @abearcomedin and his website comedyian.com. Listen to his full interview on Podcast Q at theqatl.com.

"Sweetbabycheeses: A Comedy Show and Grilled Cheese Extravaganza: is Dec. 29 at 8 p.m. at Relapse Theater. relapsecomedy.com

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Photo by Melanie Goldey

Podcast Q is where we talk to newsmakers, influencers, entrepreneurs, elected officials and activists so you know what's happening in LGBT Atlanta.

Q Every Wednesday.

Find us on iTunes, Google Play and wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. theQatl.com

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Q

WINTER SURVIVAL MUSIC

Queer Preppers

Gift Guide

Our Transman with a Plan says being prepared is the gift that’s always on trend in ATL

By James Parker Sheffield Whether it’s an inch of “wintery mix” shutting down the city, or our zany way of setting an entire interstate on fire, Atlanta is always going to Atlanta.

And as the Transgender Hillbilly, I'm always going to be ready. The prospect of finding ourselves stranded

in a frustrating situation isn’t far fetched, but take it from a queer who worries about everything: That doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice to remain in the city we love. This holiday season, give your favorite queer Atlantan gifts that will always be in style: preparedness and survival.

Don't Get Hangry You can survive being stranded in a car overnight with no food or water, but it isn’t fun. It can inhibit the ability to make sound decisions and isn’t safe when there are other underlying physical conditions. A few gifts make going hungry unnecessary.

Insulated Storage Bag Available in a variety of sizes, a good bag allows many foods to be stored without fear of spoilage.

While most pantry items seem like they would be fine left in the car until you need them, think about both 95- and 25-degree days.

Water Storage Container The thing about emergencies is that you can never be sure they’re about to happen. It might seem easy to just put store-bought water in the car, but reusable containers are more durable, and you won’t have to worry about BPH leeching into the water on warmer days.

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High Protein Snacks and Comfort Food In terms of comfort and storage space, a sleeping bag is the best bet for staying warm in sub-freezing temps. When combined with a space blanket, you’re good for most extremes.we love. This holiday season, give your favorite queer Atlantan gifts that will always be in style: preparedness and survival.

Safety FIrst Stuck in your car? Reserve gas for eventually getting home.

Disposable Hand & Foot Warmers Individually wrapped and sold in bulk, these easily slide into gloves or socks and provide 5 to 10 hours of heat.they’re generally under a dollar each. .

Compact Sleeping Bag In terms of comfort and storage space, a sleeping bag is the best bet for staying warm in sub-freezing temps. When combined with a space blanket, you’re good for most extre mes.

First Aid Kit Purchase a first aid kit with bandages, antiseptics, scissors, tweezers, and pain relievers.

Supplement with travel-size items like Pepto chew tabs, cold and sinus meds, and antibiotic ointment. A portable urinal is a great “oh yeah, that’s going to happen” item.

u

Space Blankets Extremely compact and lightweight. They fold to fit your pocket and look like an oversized piece of foil.

Perfect for maintaining body heat, but can also be used to insulate your car. Buy packs of 5 or more and combined with a space blanket, you’re good for most extremes.

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Q

WINTER SURVIVAL, continued

Save Your Energy A portable power source can save car batteries and sanity, but it’s still important to be conservative when there isn’t a def initive end to the situation in sight. These items will keep you charged up and entertained.

Multi-Purpose Portable Power Source With a variety of options, my personal choice is the NOCO Genius Boost Plus. It can fully charge a smart phone or tablet four times over, it can easily jump start a car, be used as a flashlight, and is compact enough to fit in your jacket.

Weather Radio Even with a fully charged power pack, you’ll want to reserve the battery on your phone. A battery-powered radio with FM bands keeps you informed and entertained.

Be Extra

Games & Other Distractions Streaming Game of Thrones may seem like a great, on-theme idea, but it’s terrible for battery life. Keep busy instead with a deck of cards, books, trashy magazine, and compact games to get through the night..

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Success is in the details. For instance, having a power pack, but no charging cables serves no purpose. Being able to see, open food packaging, and seal drafty car windows makes all the difference in the world. Assemble a small tool kit with accessories for all of those “what if ” situations: battery-powered flashlight, multiple usb charging cables, duct tape, pocketknife, scissors, etc.

Q

THE QUEER AGENDA

The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week THURSDAY, DECEMBER 14 MAAP For The Holidays

This LGBTQ professional networking gets together throughout the year, but they do it with holiday cheer this time @ Industrious Atlanta West Midtown, 6p.m. maapatl.org

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15 NonSense at The Basement

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 16, CONTINUED The Art of Giving

Dwight Eubanks of “Real Housewives of

Atlanta” fame hosts this holiday toy drive with food, cocktails and fun all for the price of a $20 toy @ Purple Door Salon,

9 p.m. facebook.com/dwighteubanks

Unholy Night

As the invitation so aptly points out, you

The queer-inclusive jam that brings you Heyday 80s Night hits with this Indie Pop Dance Party helmed as always by DJ Kimber pumping vibes like LCD Soundsystem @ The Basement, 10 p.m. nonsenseatl.com

can’t spell Santa without Satan.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 16 Charis Holiday Party & Sale

https://www.facebook.com/

A four-decade stalwart of lesbian-feminist books celebrates the season with a sale on gifts and books for loyal customers @ Charis Books & More, all day. charisbooksandmore.com

Christmas Cathedrals

The LGBTQ instrumentalists of Atlanta Freedom Bands present an immersive, expansive holiday concert featuring a 70-piece wind symphony to kick off their 25th year @ Druid Hills Presbyterian Church, 8 p.m. https://www.facebook.com/ events/132208020816722/

Abhora (photo) hosts “Holiday Drag from Hell” with performances, surprises and more

queers than you can kiss under the mistletoe @ Mammal Gallery, 10 p.m.

events/1472204322893395/

CLUTCH Gives Back

Performers and organizers from

various realms of QTPoC life in Atlanta come together for this fundraising event to benefit myriad queer non-profits

including Southerners On

New Ground and Southern Fried Queer Pride @ 368

Ponce. Read our preview in this issue.

Youcaring.com/clutchgivesback

Promukkah

What’s part prom and part hannukah and all LGBT inclusive and super fun for teens at heart?

Queer-inclusion group SOJOURN co-hosting Promukkah, that’s what @ Ponce City Market, 8 p.m. interfaithfamily.com

Georgia LGBTQ Archives Project

Bring your materials that capture day-to-day life in the LGBT community in Georgia for professional archivists to review and possibly make this permanent collection.

Paper, photographs, sound and video recordings, publications, and digital files, as well as ephemera like flyers and t-shirts all are welcome @

Burkhart’s, 4:30 p.m. facebook.com/georgia-LGBTQ-archives-project

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 17 Janet Jackson

Like a moth to a flame burned by the fire. Our love for Janet is blind, can’t you see our desire? That’s the way this concert goes @ Philips Arena, 8 p.m. janetjackson.com Find the full Queer Agenda with dozens of events at theqatl.com.

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Q

COMMUNITY ornamental makeup and hilarious jokes, hosts at the forefront for CLUTCH-a-thon.

“I feed off the crowd and send them their energy right back but bigger and with references to cartoons I’ll never grow out of. I like working off of people and their expectations,” Koochie says. "I’m a farcical barrage of Black queerness.”

so

CLUTCH Queer fundraiser won’t limit or ‘confine our experience to dance parties and drag nights.’

By Sunni Johnson Tis the season to not be a total Grinch, but also a time to be merry and gay. Atlanta’s DIY queer scene makes moves towards both with the annual fundraiser extravaganza, CLUTCH Gives Back on December 16.

The fourth edition of the underground party crafted by members of the QTPoC — Queer Trans People of Color – community, CLUTCH was concocted by musician and performer MonteQarlo and friends who felt a need for a new kind of queer event. With connections to the queer musical outfit LONER and having collaborated on their galactic rock opera Celesthesia, each addition of CLUTCH has been a little of this, a little of that, but never pigeonholed into the cliches of gay nightlife.

Local drag performer and musical innovator Taylor Alxndr of Southern Fried Queer Pride teams with MonteQarlo for this project. The two come together for CLUTCH once a season to showcase the variety of expressive mediums in the creative community.

Southerners On New Ground is one of the CLUTCH beneficiaries this year, with funds raised by additional appearances by their organizer, Mickey Bee. Koochie Koochie Ku (photo, this page), who is always a super treat with their cotton candy coif, outrageous 20

With up-and-coming talent like Offtharecord’s editor Devyn Springer, CLUTCH has in a short time created a space to highlight art and activism for a rich and complex facet of Atlanta’s queer community. CLUTCH Gives Back features musical contributions from LONER, African Space Program, AGYN, Nova Luxurious, MR. RESS, in addition to hosting and performances by Jamee Cornelia, Toni-Michelle Williams, TorrianTV, Polly Nation, Maya Wiseman, Paege Turner, SXYLK, Alfonsa, and more.

The December 16 showcase will be streamed live across various social media platforms with help from Bianca Bratton of Cinamaker and other tech-savvy friends. Modelled after traditional telethons of yore, donations are encouraged to organizations such as Solutions Not Punishment Coalition and Community Estrella, in addition to Southern Fried Queer Pride and Southerners On New Ground.

CLUTCH is more than entertainment. The energy put forth by the artists and performers is not just for the satisfaction of their own expression and craft; but for the growth of communities often overlooked or held back by systematic oppression. The crew’s passion for the project shows in the detail, scheduling and effort put in towards making it happen.

“Essentially, I just wanna present queer folks, especially those of color, in a way that accurately represents the diverse pool of talent in the community,” MonteQarlo explains. “Our experience can't be confined to dance parties and drag nights.

We are comedians, musicians, writers, photographers, activists, tech wizards, business people, and all those talents deserve a spotlight. It's integral to the humanization and liberation of marginalized identities that we document and broadcast the many facets of who we are, and support and uplift one another while we do it, and that's my ultimate goal with CLUTCH GIVES BACK.” CLUTCH Gives Back takes place December 16 at 368 Ponce de Leon Ave. NE. Tickets $8 - $13. youcaring.com/clutchgivesback Photo courtesy Koochie Koochie Ku

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Q

POP UP

Christmas

'Miracle'

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The holiday theme bar Miracle on Monroe is the gayest thing in Atlanta right now

By James Parker Sheffield With a never-ending rollercoaster of anti-queer political theater, disasters both legal and natural, national tragedies, and pulling out the receipts on sexual predators, if there’s one thing that 2017 has inspired, it has to be escapism.

“Getting away from it all” is at the top of everyone’s list. Lucky for us, Santa hit Atlanta early this year.

The over-the-top, Christmas themed pop-up bar Miracle on Monroe returns nestled among some of our favorite LGBTQ hangout spots in Midtown Promenade. Looking to transport yourself back to a simpler season of holidays past? This is the place.

With the entrance facing Landmark Theater and Apres Diem, Miracle has us right at home, even if we did have to wait to get in. Be a good sport and spend the wait taking selfies with the Star Wars themed holiday chalkboards outside.

When queers do tacky, we expect it to be completely overdone and as outlandish as possible.

Go all-in or go home. Well, Miracle nails it. From the ceiling that looks like that neighbor’s house with the holiday lights up year round, to the life-size animatronic dancing Santa, they covered all the bases.

Artwork includes drawings from holiday classic movies, and the music is based on the unapologetic playing of Alvin and the Chipmunks’ “Christmas Song.”

With the aesthetic on point to get you in the proper spirit, the drink menu takes over. Miracle refrains from a full standard bar to focus on a well-rounded list of seasonal cocktails. The menu includes ten holiday inspired concoctions like the Christmapolitan and good ol’ mulled wine – and two shooters.

The limited liquor options may be off-putting if you’re accustomed to ordering a long island, margarita, or basic martini, but it’s a Christmas bar, so stretch yourself. Liquor options are supplemented with beer and wine options for those looking to stay a bit more low-key.

At $12 per cocktail, the cheapskate in me would normally complain, but you’re definitely paying for – and getting – the experience. Of the 10 standard cocktail selections, I tried four of the most popular.

Yes four, don’t judge.

Jingle Ball Nog Likely the best eggnog I’ve ever had.

While it’s a small serving size, the cup it comes in is so cute, you’ll forgive them.

Yippie Ki Yay Mother F*****! Miracle’s play on a Mai-Tai is served in a generous ceramic Santa mug.

My mug was Santa’s pants, which felt just dirty enough for me to make some spirited jokes that I’m completely certain none of the staff had heard before.

Run Run Rudolph A combo of tequila and iced hot chocolate, served in a decorative Collins glass with whipped cream, this drink is a serious indulgence. Not too boozy, but clearly has a kick. Order a cookie plate to “accidentally” spill part of this drink on. Your life will change.

Snowball Old Fashioned – Like being punched in the face with alcohol. In a good way. If you’re into tasting your booze, this well-constructed cocktail served with in a rocks glass over a ball of ice gives serious bang for the buck.

Other notable props for Miracle include an incredibly friendly service staff – shout out to my bartender, Courtney. Hey girl, hey! – top-notch cleanliness, and gender-neutral bathrooms.

Miracle on Monroe Midtown Promenade 931 Monroe Dr NE miraclebaratlanta.com Closed Monday & Tuesday Opens 5p.m. Wednesday-Sunday No reservations accepted 23

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All the

GIFTS

By Mike Fleming

From family to fr-amily, sweeties to frenemies, your shopping list just keeps getting longer. Turn the page to find great ideas for just about every kind of recipient – and maybe a little something for yourself.

u

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Q Q

GIFTS continued

Yo Socks Multiple Styles $9 - $11

Weekender Duffle Bag $60

Gun Metal Pen Set $23

All In One Multi Tools $28 - $32

Aquiesse Candles Black Coco Havana & White Fennel Fougere $6 - $36

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Mad Man Socks in a Box $27

Everything you see and more available at

GCB

1510-D Piedmont Ave NE brushstrokesatlanta.com

Retro Games Controller $17

King of the Road Travel Pack $65

Trixie & Milo Flask $26 27 27 21

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WINE & DINEcontin-

Perfect pairings

Find the perfect wine to go with both your meal and your mate

By Mike Fleming LGBTQ people are encouraged perhaps too readily to pigeonhole each other into broad classifications.

But at Q, we say that dinner dates are a more fun, less oppressive opportunity to typecast men and women to complement you – and them – in a way that will impress, rather than set you up for failure.

Stereotyping based on body hair, age or size are problematic in the real world, but our wine-typing rules actually work. Beyond red-with-meat and whitewith-fish, know which wine pairs with your date’s personality characteristics, and you’ll both enjoy the taste of knowing, like wine, none of us is good in a box.

Ms. Salty She’s kinda risqué, and she never shies away from a vulgar joke. She’s tough, which you like in small doses just like her namesake salty foods. Pour this lady Champagne or Cava to make her saltiness refreshing instead of overbearing.

Cheesy But Rich Sure, his jokes are corny, but he treats you right. You admit that you at first fell for his wallet, but now you’re genuinely into him. Like their namesake foods, cheesy people can go either way, verse if you will, and we like that in a queer. Instead of making them choose, pour a Dry Rose to go with his cheese. It offers the acidity of a white and the fruitiness of a red.

What a Tart Often mistaken for a slut, not that there’s anything wrong with that, or a bitch, not that any of us is immune, this queer is actually just a flirt. Their tangy, aggressive wit comes with a tartness is an acquired taste that won’t be overwhelmed by wines with some zip. Serve him Sauvignon Blanc, Portugese Vinho Verde, or Spanish Verdejo Earth Goddess Help balance the mellow fresh herbs basil, bay leaf, rosemary of faeries, granola gays, witch goddesses and outdoorsy women with whites like Grüner Veltliner from Austria, Albariño from Spain, or Vermentino from Italy. Or give his dirtier, grittier inklings like mushrooms and truffles a red spin with Pinot Noir or Dolcetto.

Global Sophisticate With worldwide destinations under their belt, these queers are spicy and bring the heat. They’ll like that you try and tame them with the contrasting sweetness of European Rieslings, Gewürztraminers and Vovrays.

If your date is extra spicy, offer up the correspondingly heavy seasoning of a California Syrah or Greek Xinomavro.

Lightweights vs. Chubby Chasers Everybody knows white with seafood, right? Well which one depends on which queer you’re serving.

If they’re light like whitefish, equally delicate Pinot Grigio, Chablis and Arneis bring out their true colors.

If they’re a little fatty and lush like buttery shrimp or glazed salmon, silky Chardonnay is their best match.

Big & Bold They’re bold, but you can handle all of the tang and spice they dish out. Like the hottest, sweetest barbecue you ever tasted, serve this guy or gal a Malbec, Shiraz or Côtes-du-Rhône that can stand up to them blow-for-blow.

Rustic But Refined They like fresh air and piney woods, but glamping is more their style than camping. Think Restoration Hardware and Land’s End, not REI and Yeti. Match their pastoral but refined palate for pates and terrines with similarly rustic Zinfandel, Italian Nero d'Avola or Spanish Monastrell.

Meaty to the Bine If you grunt when you lay eyes on them instead of opine or demure, you’re into Mr. and/or Ms. Meaty.

A meat and potatoes lover calls for you to respond with likewise firmness. Try the tannins of Cabernet, Bordeaux and Bordeaux-style Blends. They’ll refresh you after each bite.

Sweet One Before you take this one home to mom, find the root of their sweetness. Show off the fruit, not the sugar, with a moderately sweet Sparkling Wine.

Pairings Source: Food and Wine

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2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE, Atlanta, GA 30324 | Open and Pouring Everyday at 4 PM Including Christmas Eve and Christmas Day!

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WOOF'S 15TH ANNIVERSARY

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THE Q?!

Brown

BOYFRIEND, RACIST

Relatives

Spend the bigoted birthday card cash, or tell them to shove it?

Life Judge lays out options.

Q

My partner of many years happens to be Afghan American (born and raised here, second generation), and I am Caucasian.

We are used to, if concerned, about the crazy, racist BS flying at us – not only from general Trump-loving fucksticks out in the world, but also from the Trump-loving fucksticks in my own family. Don’t even get me started with the racists within our own community here in Atlanta.

Luckily, I’m not close with any of the worst offenders in my family. One aunt in particular never misses an opportunity to post anti-Muslim stuff on Facebook with ignorant assumptions and generalizations.

I hid her from my feed months ago, and I avoid holiday reunions with that side of the family.

difficult within the family.

Still, I’m with you on wanting to stop the madness. We all know that the pair of you gets enough wrongheaded crap from outside forces without having to put up with it in your own innermost circles.

You shouldn’t have to grin and bear it if you’re not comfortable.

Start by realizing that it’s not your responsibility to even try changing her, and look at what you can do for you.

You have options. You could let the cards and money continue to flow, and spend it on something the two of you can both enjoy that you know she would hate. If the money’s too dirty to keep, donate it to the ACLU. Either way, you can either say nothing to the aunt, or send her a Thank You card letting her know where the money went.

‘I am finally and

Then my birthday came. She sent a cash gift in a card, which he always has since I was a kid, along with a passive-aggressive sideways insult at my partner.

officially done with this bitch.

I do realize it took me too long to get here, but I am now finally and officially done with this bitch.

My mom loves her sister, and we love my mom. We don’t want to cause unnecessary family drama waiting for these people to die.

Should we go on working around her with our mouths shut?

Should I tell her off ? Should we spend the birthday money?

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Dear Fair Weather: This is one of those challenges that is pretty easy to figure out, but maybe tougher to pull off. Extenuating circumstances can make it emotionally trying, as well as strategically

’

If you are intent to engage this person further, send a sincere, polite message laying out the reasons you’re offended and won’t be around any more. If someone else in the family could be hurt, tell that member of the family in advance why you and yours will avoid events that the aunt attends.

The option you choose is entirely up to you. It’s not anyone else’s life but yours. One final word of advice, though: Don’t base the option you choose on the potential reaction from your aunt or other family members. Ask yourself which option creates consequences you can live with? Which one makes you feel true to your best self ?

The Q is intended for entertainment purposes and not as professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to mike@qmagatlanta.com.

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