Chalk it up to Experience

Page 1






FREE Wi-Fi

BEER GREAT


Today’s Special



I Am a Bar. I

Have Many Flat Surfaces For You To Sit On.

Once Sat, You Can

Drink Tasty Liquids From See-Thru Conical Vessels


JOKES ABOUT GERMAN SAUSAGE ARE THE WURST.


THE PERFECT MARTINII Pour gin, Vermouth and olives into the trash where they belong.






Come In For

It’s Ladies Night

Every night!”






HUSBAND CRÈCHE Is He Getting

Under Your Feet? Why Not Leave Him Here While You Shop? Free Crèche Just Leave Beer Tokens!




Low Cut Blouses Are Looked Down Upon In This Establishment



I ONCE THOUGHT BEER WAS BAD FOR ME, SO

I GAVE UP

THINKING!






We Don’t Serve Loose Women Here. You Have To Bring Your Own


DRINK UP IT MAKES OTHER PEOPLE MORE INTERESTING





Booze is not a matter of life or death. it’s much more important Than that.



LIQUOR up front POKER

in the rear







THE LIVER IS EVIL IT MUST BE PUNISHED




I’M ON A GIN & TONIC DIET SO FAR I’VE LOST TWO DAYS


My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film.. Our dates so far can be summarised as follows. Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner,

BATMAN









(One In 365 People Will Think This Sign Is Spooky)




Or don’t come in.

try to have some decency and respect for

others. No one wants to see your underwear.

Does Not Apply to

Children Under 3

age

Years of


PUSH

If that doesn’t work

PULL

If that doesn’t work WE MUST BE CLOSED



NO SENIOR

CITIZEN DISCOUNTS

YOU HAVE HAD TWICE AS LONG TO GET THE MONEY


This Business is Guarded by Shotgun 3 Nights a Week

You Guess Which 3


MEN To the left because

WOMEN Are always right!


TEACH YOUR KIDS ABOUT TAXES EAT 30 PERCENT OF THEIR ICE-CREAM



INNOCENT GRAPES DIED FOR YOU!


Helping Women Lower Their Standards For Years


IN WINE

THERE IS TRUTH IN BEER THERE IS STRENGTH IN WATER

THERE IS BACTERIA


IN DOGS BEERS, I’VE ONLY HAD ONE


YOU ARE THE GIN TO MY TONIC


BEER The WD40 For

Conversations



Dear Alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me

funnier, smarter, and a better dancer..... I saw the video......

We need to talk


Not to get

technical..... But according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.


S.L.I.F. (Sorry Liver It’s Friday)


Order in the Voice of a

AND GET 10% OFF YOUR BILL!







ATTRACTIVE FRIENDLY BAR STAFF AND HAPPY PROMISCUOUS CUSTOMERS FORGET THE CREDIT CRUNCH WITH US PANIC BUY BEER NOT FUEL!!!! FAMILY PUB RUN BY FAMILY PEOPLE WITH CHILDISH SILLY LANDLORD!!!!!!


ALCOHOL



FARTS ARE JUST THE GHOSTS OF THE THINGS WE EAT


TODAY’S SPECIAL Today’s Special Nothing.... Nothing is Special You Are Not Special


THE AVERAGE HUMAN WALKS 900 MILES PER YEAR, AND DRINKS 22

GALLONS OF BEER, WHICH MEAN THE

AVERAGE HUMAN GETS 41 MILES PER GALLON NOT BAD.........




“THE THING ABOUT QUOTES ON THE INTERNET IS YOU CANNOT CONFIRM THEIR VALIDITY!” - ABRAHAM LINCOLN


Drinking Rum before noon makes you a PIRATE not an alcoholic!


IF I DIDN’T DRINK, HOW WOULD MY FRIENDS KNOW I LOVED THEM AT 2AM?


VODKA


BAR NOTICE If Angry Wives or Girl Friends Phone Our

Answering Charges are: “He’s Just Left”..............25c

“He’s On His Way”...........50c “He’s Not Here” ..........1€

“Who did you say?”.....2€




INSTEAD OF CANDY FOR YOUR

VALENTINE WHY NOT LIQUOR

INSTEAD?








%






TO AVOID ACCIDENT OR INJURY TO YOUR CHILD WHILST THE LITTLE DARLING IS RUNNING AROUND THIS ESTABLISHMENT.

. . .

WHY NOT HAND THE LITTLE POPPET TO A MEMBER OF STAFF WHO WILL BE HAPPY TO NAIL IT TO THE TABLE FOR YOU!


Oh, you hate your job? Why didn t you say so? There s a support group for that. It s called EVERYBODY and they meet AT THE BAR



the

Truth about our

Is they only

To get bigger tips


Air conditioning

From around the world



WHEN AN EEL SWIMS ON BY AND BRUSHES YOUR THIGH

. . . THAT’S A MORAY!


Beauty Is In The Eye of the Beer holder


Only Nice Wierdos Please!


TONIGHT’S DISCUSSION BABIES OR KITTENS WHO IS CUTER?


DID YOU KNOW THAT 2 TO 3 GLASSES OF WINE PER DAY CAN REDUCE YOUR RISK OF GIVING A CRAP!


THE GIN INN





Dinosaurs Did not drink And now The

e

Extinct Coincidence?



THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL

BUT ALCOHOL SORT OF COMPENSATES FOR

NOT GETTING THEM!


What is the

difference between

Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but the people in

Abu Dhabi Dooo


Beer is made from Hops Hops are healthy plants

BEER = SALAD

(you’re welcome)




To all those Postmen Milkmen and TV repair guys You may not know it but

Happy Father’s Day!


WINE AEROBICS

....and repeat




Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.