Playa da polluto

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La Arndale de Polluto centre - what it lacks in old world charm it more than makes up for in concrete. The purpose built centre designed on a typical Spanish architecture never before seen. Note the wildlife park in the foreground which features some of the typical plants of the area, perfectly preserved, despite the indigenous population flouting the anti-urination law after 9pm on a Sunday.


Despite Playa Da Polluto being a landlocked urbanization, due to the A332. the Pollutions love their seafood. Here is a typical cleansing container. strategically placed for the local fisherman to test for mercury levels in their respective catches. The telephone number on the side is a legal requirement after Pancho Higgins fell into the mercury sluice box in 1996 and was their for 9 weeks until someone heard the screams.


The great plains of Playa Da Polluto, was recently granted a special UNESCO World Heritage status as a 'site of significant monotony'. The beauty of the area can only really be appreciated after one has fallen into the mercury container!


When dining in certain parts of southern Playa Da Polluto it is considered rude to ask for cutlery or Spanish food. The influx of 'continental cuisine' has really put the area on the map is the sense of gourmet eating. So much so that there are now more Indian and Asian restaurants than in Hounslow, the capital of Peshwari Nan.


Just a small selection of the variety of restaurants to be enjoyed within a stone’s throw of the local hoodie’s. Considerable time has obviously been spent on ensuring that the ex-pat community feels at home and are doing their utmost to ensure that the indigenous population are kept well away.


Pollutions gather each year on the 6th of June to celebrate the “Feast of the Death Run” as the locals dare to cross the road from the supermarket to the beach. The event was introduced as long ago as the 20th century when Playa da Polluto was divided into various fiefdoms, under the control of a despotic rulers of Brits. Celts and Huns who would ruthlessly crush the slightest sign of unrest by running the trouble makers over; this was considered one of the Playa Da Polluto’s most enlightened periods.


The breathtaking view from the south terrace. The discreet lighting in the evening pervades a comforting warmth to the local residents. The gentle hum of the passing motorcycles and the laughter of the hoodies on the corner help create that feeling of homeliness.


Flamenca Park was designed in 1995 in anticipation of Playa Da Polluto being successful with its plans to host the 1994 Eurovision Song contest. Sadly their bid failed, due to lack of bribes, and much of the ground has since fallen into disrepair. The only remaining item being the large microphone boom which can be seen in the distance. Designed to hold 10,000 spectators it is now used largely for rubbish recycling and public hangings on leap year bank holidays.


The Late Ages saw Playa Da Polluto invaded by numerous armies, including the Brits, Scots, Taffy's, Krauts and Paddies. Surprisingly a militant band of Spanish nuns could not keep out the invading hoards. Traditions die hard and Pollutions still post sentries in strategic areas in case of further invasions. This is done discreetly so as not to raise alarm with the locals, as can be seen with the cleverly disguised sentry box.


This newly developed 'Esplanada' leads to the famous nudist beach. Until recently this modern town was a warren of slums, clustering around a polluted sea near the festering rubbish-strewn foothills of Torrevieja. These days it is considered a first-rate naturist destination offering fine nudist beaches


The sun-drenched sands of Playa da Polluto have well and truly earned the reputation as the region’s least war-ravaged beach in Playa da Polluto. The crowds flock to this favourite location as seen on a typical bank holiday week-end in August.


Playa da Polluto is famous for its ancient hygiene laws, introduced by Franco during the civil war. Whilst the beach has the reputation of never having seen any action, of a fighting nature, (or any other come to think of it), the bins were nonetheless provided to collect any bodily waste as a result of any possible terrorist action.


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