Bearing the Wait Journal by kimm.

journal working &

Bearing the Wait

Waiting .

for Gods Deliverance

Written by: Shakeena Brantley

God will not withold any good thing from you

psalm 84:11

The Journal Belongs to

____________________________________________ Date

_______________________________ Doctor

_______________________________ Phone Number

_______________________________ Address

_______________________________ Emergency Contact

_______________________________ Emergency Contact Phone Number

Preface My life and faith had never been more tried and shaken until my journey with infertility. I always desired having children. I come from a small family. Having a large family was always my dream. It went without saying that I would become a mother. I had no idea that trying to achieve this dream would come close to costing me my life. I received my infertility diagnosis very early on in my marriage. I was diagnosis with PCOS. I had no guide to infertility. I had no one that even understood what this was like because everyone around me had children (so it seemed). Those around me who didn’t have children had no desire to. I had no one that knew the torment infertility could have on a person. I had friends and family that did try to comfort me with “In God’s time”, “Your time will come”, “You can just focus on your marriage”, “Just stop trying and it will happen”. These statements provided me with no solace. Those around me were not familiar with infertility and were trying to say what they thought was helpful, not knowing those words actually caused more pain. Prayer through journaling was my refuge. I decided to express the hurt, pain, fear, and worries of my journey in my writing as a form of selfpreservation. I needed an outlet. Journaling was the perfect way to let go even if just in that moment. Bearing The Wait Journal: Working & Waiting For God’s Deliverance is a journal based on all the thoughts and feelings I experienced. The work it takes to achieve a child and the patience you have to yield during the process. Each section and question in this journal was designed to guide you through self- assessment, self-exploration and self-expression; giving you the freedom to simply feel whatever it is you are feeling. Labor and Delivery will also create a tangible baseline you can go back and reflect to. You can reflect how far God will bring you. This journal will allow you to document every step of your own personal walk along with free space for your own free thinking and writing. It will guide you from today to Victory! Whatever Victory looks like for you, you will achieve it and it will be well documented here.

Bearing The Wait Journal: Working & Waiting For God’s Deliverance

01 Chapter

My Dream

Chapter 1: My Dream Well, where do I start about my dream? The earliest memory, the earliest imaginary game and the earliest time in my childhood that I can remember has always involved me being a mother. Whether it was pretending to play house alone or with a bunch of friends, I have always played the role of mother. I loved playing with baby dolls. I would even put pillows under my shirt just to pretend to be pregnant. Everything always somehow revolved around me being a mother. I really canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t say that motherhood was like a dream. It was more like a fact that had yet to be fulfilled. It was just something that I knew was inevitable. It was something that I knew would simply just...be! It was destined to be a part of my path, my role and my identity. I never thought anything different. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even recall playing games that involved barbie dolls, because those dolls were equivalent to grown-ups. To me, they were fully developed, miniature adults. I liked to play with the baby dolls. The dolls that symbolized infants. The ones that were meant to be babies. They wore diapers that had to be changed. They needed to be fed, cleaned, cradled and held. As a child, my bedroom was filled with baby dolls, strollers, diapers, baby doll clothing, and feeding bottles. Do you remember those baby bottles with the invisible milk? If you held the baby bottle upside down, the milk would disappear. I had a million of those. It gave me such pleasure playing a mother, feeding the baby, holding the baby, tucking them into bed, tucking them into their bassinet and pushing them around in my little stroller.

Those were the best games for me. I even idolized pregnancy. I would stuff pillows under my shirt and envision my little self as a mom. My dream encompassed the entire mothering experience, from pregnancy to birth and then nurturing. For me, playing the role of mother was pure bliss. It was my happy place. It gave me so much joy and pleasure.

So that was my dream. That was my matter of fact, unwavering, beyond a shadow of a doubt belief; and it was just a matter of time before it became my reality. I often think back at that five, six and seven-year-old little girl and how much fun I had. How I longed to be a mother. How much I knew for sure that I would become one years later. I like to reminisce and go back to that place; to sit in that place and just think about how I didn’t doubt for a second that motherhood was in my future. Nor did it ever enter my mind that motherhood would be so far out of my reach. Motherhood didn’t seem to be something that I would ever have to try to do. It never occurred to me that it could take so much effort. So much time. So much strength. So much determination. Just so much of everything…. I DIDN’T KNOW! Motherhood was always my dream. Motherhood was part of who that young girl was going to be. There were a few things that I knew from a young age that I was going to achieve. I knew I would be married. I knew I would go to college. I even knew I would go to graduate school. And I knew I was going to have children. Period. None of these things ever wavered in my life plan. They never wavered from my blueprint of who that young girl was going to be. I just knew these things would come to pass because I knew for sure that they were a part of my identity. I never second guessed it. EVER. It was just what was going to be. This was my life’s template. This was my life’s blueprint. Now I want you to think back to what your blueprint was when you were a little girl. Think back to what your earliest plan was going to be. What was your dream plan? What was your dream blueprint? I want you to journal what your blueprint was. Was motherhood part of your plan? Was motherhood always going to be a part of your DNA? When did you realize that you wanted to be a mother? How far back can you remember? Think of those things. Ponder on those things for a minute. Close your eyes and revisit that place in your imagination.

Excercise Write down what you feel. Write down what is going through your mind. Write down the earliest memory of the picture that you developed for your future life. Where were you? How old were you? What was the season like? What aromas can you smell? Hold onto to that and write down every sense, thought and emotion that encompasses that memory. If you were playing house or playing mommy at your grandmotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house while she cooked a meal in the kitchen, right down even the smell of the meal; the smell of what grandmaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house was like, the song that grandma would sing. What was the weather like outside?

02 Chapter

The Transition

Chapter 2: The Transition I grew older. I eventually went through puberty. I began my cycle at the age of 16 years old. My cycle was normal as far as duration and symptoms. I experienced the normal cramping, bloating and other typical symptoms that accompany menstruation. It came and went on schedule with these normal symptoms for about three to four months. Then I started to notice something different. The duration of my cycles, were now about three days on average. It went from lasting four days to three. After about the fourth cycle, they became fewer and further between. I would skip months at a time with no cycle or no symptoms of a cycle. Obviously, this began to worry me. However, I was also thinking, okay, maybe my body is just getting used to having a cycle and is trying to regulate itself. So, I started to talk to my mother about it. We decided to allow more time and see if my body would regulate itself and eventually become more consistent on a monthly basis. We figured my body just needed more time to regulate my hormones and kind of balance itself out. Well that never happened. It never balanced itself out. It never regulated and never adjusted. So, after a few months of waiting, my mother and I went to a gynecologist to see what was going on, hoping to figure out why I was experiencing few to no cycles. Amenorrhea was my diagnosis. Amenorrhea meant the a sence of a cycle. When the doctor said that I had amenorrhea, I just said, okay, and I went on with my life. I went on living. I went on having fun and having the same social life. I went on participating in school activities, dances, proms and onto college admissions. At this time, having a cycle was more of a discomfort and more of an inconvenience. I was a typical teenager with my only worries being appearances, having fun, enjoying my friends, going to college, and self-discovery.

Fast forward to adulthood…I am now married, in my career field of choice and we have decided to start a family. After we made this decision, in the back of my mind I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. After trying for a few months with no success, having one negative pregnancy test after another, I finally decided to go to my gynecologist. I didn’t want to wait any longer. I didn’t want to wait the suggested two years that you’re supposed to wait when trying to conceive before exploring other options. I was sick of negative pregnancy tests and had no desire to experience that let down every single month for two years of my life.I had read everywhere that you can’t seek infertility treatment unless you had been trying to conceive for two years or more without success. I refused to waste those two years. I already knew I did not have a cycle and it was documented in my medical records. There was no need for me to wait two years. In my mind, in order for me to have a child, I needed to have a cycle so that I could ovulate. Waiting two years was just not in my plan and seemed unnecessary for my specific case. So, I met with my gynecologist and that is where my dream slowly began to turn into a nightmare. Before we get into that part, I want us to reflect on yourown personal transition point. This chapter was my transition. This is the part where I started to realize something was not right. This is probably the part where you may have doubted for the first time whether or not you were going to be a mother. You may or may not have just come to the realization that becoming a mother was not going to be as easy or go exactly as you planned it. This is the point where your dream starts to transition to a harsher reality!

What You Desire vs. What Is.

I want you to go back. I want you to find your own period of transition. The point where you realized this may not be as simple as you thought. Amenorrhea, not being able to have a cycle, was my transition point.

Excercise What did your transition point feel like? When did the thoughts of something possibly being wrong with your ability to conceive start to creep in? What did that feel like for you? Describe what that moment and your thoughts surrounding it... What did your worry feel like? Did you feel like you had any support? Or did you feel alone? Did you tell anyone? If so, who was it? Your spouse? A friend? A parent? Someone in your church family or a pastor? Who was that person and what was their response? Was it helpful? Was it dismissive? Was it positive? Was it negative? What was their response? How did you cope? Was it positive or negative coping? What did you do afterwards? Take the time to document your responses here.

03 Chapter

The Diagnosis

Chapter 3: The Diagnosis Now that I had the understanding and discernment that something was wrong, my next step was to figure out what was right. What can I do? What is the next step? Even at this point and moment, I felt like I still had hope. I still had a plan and some sense of control. We could just go to the doctor, figure some stuff out and just keep moving forward. I went to the gynecologist after those few months of trying to conceive with my husband. My pap smear was normal. Everything looked good. So, we moved on to an ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed that there were cysts on my ovaries. I was then referred to an infertility specialist. At this point, I’m having so many mixed emotions. This is the point where my infertility journey is really starting to get intense and take a shape of its own. It was a shape that I quickly began to lose control of. Although I was filled with fear and anxiety, for some reason, a part of me felt a wave of relief. I felt validated because I’ve always known something was not functioning in my body as it should. Also giving me validation was the identification of what that something was. All of these years of not knowing. Finally, it had a name. It wasn’t just a vague statement that “my body is just not functioning”. It wasn’t just a mishap or some failure I had to endure month after month with negative pregnancy tests. I felt if it had a name, if it had an identity, if it had a diagnosis, it surely had to have a treatment, a resolution, and answer. A plan could be developed that could steer me. I know that might sound crazy, but for me that gave me such relief because I had a name to call it. Therefore, I had plan to fight it! So, my journey began with doubt, fear, anxiety, and then relief.

Excercise I want you to think back to the beginning of your journey. That moment when your infertility or your diagnosis was solidified. Do you have a diagnosis? What was your diagnosis? How was your diagnosis revealed? What was that like for you? What did it feel like? What did finding out your diagnosis do for you? Where were you? Who was with you? Were they supportive? Was it surreal? How long did it take for you to process? How did you process it? Maybe you are still processing it... Did it feel like freedom or bondage? Don't go any further than that moment. Take some time to respond and describe this experience.

04 Chapter

First Trial

Chapter 4: First Trials My first treatment plan was to be placed on Metformin to control my sugar levels and also to start with Clomid. My doctor wanted to start with the least invasive interventions first. So, we started with Clomid. I took my first dose and it did what it was supposed to do. I ovulated!!!! I was so excited. We did a couple of attempt trials with just Clomid and trying to conceive with regular intimacy. And this was cool. This was exciting. I thought, these will be my magic pills. These will be like Jack and the beanstalk and the pills would be my magic beans that would make me sprout and be fertile. They would make me able to have all the children that my heart and my finances desired. I started to track everything on calendars. I checked and kept track of my temperature, weight and menstrual cycle. After some months, my excitement started to diminish. After month three, I found myself going into the fourth month with the realization that these beans weren’t as magical as I hoped they were. They weren’t my golden ticket to motherhood after all. I failed. My body failed...again. They may have bee magical for other women, but not for me. I thought all the things a woman in my position thinks. Why not me? What is still wrong with my body that even with these pills, I still can’t do it. I still cannot achieve this goal. It’s just not working for me. What is wrong with my body that even with medication, it still could not accomplish conception. I tell the women in my groups that when you are trying to conceive, you can go through the stages of grief every month. For every month you do not conceive you can go through denial, anger, bargaining, grief, and acceptance. By the time you finally get to that last stage of acceptance, it’s time to do it all over again. Every month with no conception, you can grieve a loss for the hope and dream you had of being pregnant. Every month you have to face the fact that once again, you don’t have the one thing that you want so bad.

Excercise Begin to think of your first trial. Whether you used medical interventions or more holistic measures. What was your first trial? What were the results? More importantly, what did you learn about yourself from that first trial? What did you learn about your partner? How did you feel afterwards? Do you still feel the same? What different emotions did you feel? How did you process it? Are you still processing it?

Take the next pages to document your responses.

05 Chapter

Second Trial

Chapter 5: Second Trial After the magical beans/pills could not help me, my mind began to question everything about my body. Just how far gone am I? How bad is my body? How much dysfunction is going on in my reproductive system that even with this medical intervention, I’m still not able to conceive? This is when fear really started to set in. I gathered myself and began to self-talk . I told myself that maybe I just need something a little stronger. Maybe we just need to increase my dosage. We went back to see my fertility specialist who recommended that we do an IUI, which is Intrauterine Insemination. The doctor had such great faith and hope that because I was young, and in fairly good health, that an IUI would be a great likelihood for conception. So, we agreed and went over the medications that he would order for me. He told my husband and I what to expect. Even with all his explanation and videos, I still didn’t realize how invasive or rigorous it was going to be. After speaking with my husband and reviewing other options, we realized we didn’t have any other options outside of waiting and seeing what developed. Waiting was never my style, so we decided to move forward. After accepting and agreeing to continue with IUI treatments, I received a large box that consisted of vials of different kinds of medications, stimulants, oils, hormones and vitamins. It also included syringes and even a red biohazard box for me to dispose of the used syringes. It had finally hit me how intense and involved this process was going to be, and what I was really embarking on. Every day I was injecting myself with something. And every day that I wasn’t injecting myself, my husband was. Basically, I was a human pin cushion. After weeks of injections and doctor’s visits, insemination day had come. I remember walking in the doctor’s office that morning to my appointment and sitting there in the waiting room. As I sat, I just began praying. I prayed the entire time in the waiting room and the entire morning before arriving. Even the night before, I kept praying and praying and praying that it would just be successful.

At my appointment, I was on the exam table for about 30 minutes total. Then I had to wait two weeks for the results of the pregnancy test. After the long wait, the test came back negative and I was devasted. My heart shattered along with my dreams in this moment. This couldn’t be possible. I was hurt. I was angry. I was sad. I was frustrated. On top of it all, I now had to relay this message to my husband. I now have to disappoint him as well. I have to tell him, once again, that he wouldn’t be a father. That I can’t give him this gift. That I can’t conceive. That it did not work and it was all my fault. I was holding up this man’s progress. I was holding up his legacy. How was I going to tell him? How was I going to do this? Exercise: At this point, I want you to remember these moments as they relate to you. Think about the moments that you may have felt like you weren’t good enough. I want you to make a list of all the negative things that you thought about and said to yourself. How you saw yourself and how you couldn’t see yourself. I want you to write all of those words in the column to the left. Then on the column to the right, I want you to write positive words and positive ways that you see yourself. For example, if you wrote down that you felt like you were a failure on the left column, then I want you to write that you are victorious in the right column. If you wrote “flawed” in the left column, then I want you to write “perfected by Christ” beside it in the right column. The enemy will try to take whatever God has called over our lives and twist it. Whatever God says that we are, the enemy says the opposite. He says the contrary. So, all of those things that the enemy has whispered into your ears, and all of the seeds he has planted in your mind, I want you to write the contrary to that. I want you to put down what God has said that you are in the opposite column to the right. Remember, the enemy is our opposer. He is our opponent. He is our opposition. So, everything that he says is always going to be the opposite of what God has called you to be. Everything that he says is deceitful. I want you to get it out of your mind and onto paper. If you do think these things return to this page to read and meditate on all the things God has said you are. Remind yourself the enemy’s entire job is to stop you from fulfilling your potential.

Excercise

THE ENEMY'S LIES

GOD'S TRUTHS

Excercise

THE ENEMY'S LIES

GOD'S TRUTHS

06 Chapter

Darkest Moments

Chapter 6: The Darkest Moment Shortly after the IUI attempt failed, which felt like an endless place of isolation, I decided to try a second round of IUI. I felt like it would be much easier to mentally prepare the second go round. We started the IUI process again. We knew what the expectation would be this time around, so this time we had some faith. We had some hope. We did the same routine again. When it was time to inseminate, I took the day off. I prayed in the parking lot before walking in the building. I said, “God, just let this be it. Let this be it.” I was getting so tired of going to the doctor. I had gotten so tired of seeing the nurses, getting blood drawn, running labs, urine tests, blood tests, and pulling into that same doctor’s office parking lot week after week. The doctor’s office had become like my second home. We completed the process, including going through the two-week wait again. Those two weeks felt like years. It seemed so long and agonizing. I tried to find things to fill the void and make the time pass to distract myself while waiting. When the wait was over, I received the call from my doctor’s office stating the same disappointing news. You would think after hearing it one time, you’d be used to hearing again. It didn’t work that way. This time it hurt worse, even more than the first. I didn’t even know that the hurt could get any deeper. But it did. I didn’t know that the hurt could be any more disheartening. Oh, but it was. It was more devastating. It was more gut wrenching. It was more breathtaking, and not in a good way. It literally felt like the wind had been kicked out of me; to know that I had failed again. To know that my body failed again.

To know that I failed my husband again. I failed my mother again. I just felt like a big failure. I felt like I had let everyone down. This feeling of failure took me into such a dark place that I’ve never been before. It was a hole so scary that I didn’t know if I would ever find myself out of it because it went so deep. My inner circle would try to help me get out of it. Best friends would try. Family would try. My husband would try. They all would try to encourage me and speak positive things to me to try to give me hope. I remember just reading devotionals and journaling almost everyday, trying to get myself out of those dark places. I remember just wanting to die. I felt like I had no purpose. I felt like I had no reason to be here. I felt like I had no right to be married. I had no right to keep this man tied down and stagnant. I felt like I was his ball and chain, keeping him from progressing, keeping him from moving on. I just wanted to die. This was my darkest moment. I want you to sit and think about your darkest moment. I want you to journal what that felt like, and if that was something in the past or is it still happening right now? If it’s something current, write what it feels like. Jot down this experience because next, we’re going to reflect on how far God has brought you. Even if He hasn’t brought you there yet, or you don’t feel like you’ve had your victory, I still want you to jot down this darkest moment. This is important because when that victory comes, no matter what shape or form it comes in, I want you to have a reference point to reflect on so that you can see how far God is going to bring you or has already brought you.

Exercise: Write down your dark moment and describe that experience in the next journal pages.

**If you have thoughts of suicide please contact the National Suicide Hotline at tel: 1-800-273-8255 (24hrs)**

07 Chapter

The Victory

Chapter 7: Victory BASELINE: I wanted you to write down your darkest moment because this is going to be your baseline for this section. This is where you are starting from, because this is the beginning of your victory. In order to know how great God is, and to show people how great this testimony will be, we have to go back to where you started from. We must go back to the place where you began this difficult journey. Sometimes we are quick to tell people the glorious moments of our journeys while conveniently leaving out the unattractive parts. We like to tell about the appealing parts of our testimonies and how we arrived at our victories. We often gloss over the ugly places that we came from. So, this is going to be your starting point. This is going to be your mile marker. This is your starting line. I want you to jot down your dark moment that you were experiencing or are currently experiencing. Go back and reflect on what you wrote down in the previous exercise in Chapter 6. Now, think about what you want your victory to look like. Define what Victory means to you. This current trial of infertility is going to help someone. Trust me! Our trials are ALWAYS for Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s glory. There is purpose for your pain. God is very deliberate in everything He does. I think about that time for me when I just wanted to die. At that time, I wanted to let my husband go. But God is amazing. You might not know what your victories will look like. You may not know what the outcome will be or what will happen when it is all over. Oh, but we know it will come. Victory is promised to us. Victory is ours. We have the deed to victory. We have the ownership to victory. We have the inheritance of victory. We have the guarantee of victory. Your dark moment wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t last always.

Exercise: In this section, I want you to write down all the dark moments and dark areas of your life. These areas I want you to claim victory over. Make a list of all the things, all the arenas, all the avenues, all the departments of your life that you are claiming victory in. This will be your victory list. Once you’re done with this, pray over this victory list and I will pray with you……. God, I decree and declare that all of these things that my Sarah Hood sister is declaring, she will be victorious in. We already have the victory God! You have already won. You continue to win. You don’t know any other way but victory. Because it is yours! Victory is yours and my sister is yours. Therefore, victory is hers as well. We thank you that you have given us the authority. That you have given us the key to victory. God, I thank you that everything that is written down on this paper, as long as it is in the will of God, that it shall come to pass. Her family will expound. She will have life beyond her own. She will know what it feels like to have children. You have called us to be fruitful. You have called for multiplication, so we ask that this be in your will for her. I asked that you align everything in her body, every hormone to balance. Every artery to balance. Every vessel to balance. Every egg to balance. Every reproductive organ and every hormone to balance. Allow her entire body and her husband’s body to work in perfect harmony. Create a sanctuary in her body Lord. Create a sanctuary in her womb. Let them be able to conceive. Let them be able to carry to full term God. Let them be able to deliver a healthy child. Even if they won’t be able to conceive or they have to utilize a surrogate that you will bless them with the best surrogate. God bless them with patience to endure. Bless their finances to meet their needs and desires. It’s so hard to wait. I pray that you’ll give them peace of mind, peace of heart, and peace of spirit. In Jesus’ name... Amen.

It only takes one try to stay positive .

30 Days

of prayer during infertility Inspired by Lisa Newton's "31 days of prayer during fertility."

30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 1: Pray For Clarity Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21 Have you experienced any confusion during your infertility journey? What are you currently unsure about?

Write out a prayer below asking God to clarify anything that you are uncertain about.

What assurances does the verse above give you about your uncertanties?

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 2: Pray For Comfort For the Lord will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her waste places; He will make her wilderness like Eden, And her desert like the garden of the Lord; Joy and gladness will be found in it, Thanksgiving and the voice of melody. ~Isaiah 51:3 Infertility can be an uncomfortable journey. What have you been experiencing on this journey that has inconvenienced or upset you?

Write out a prayer below asking God to give you comfort in these areas and to help you persevere through them.

How does the verse above make you feel about your current discomforts?

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 3: Pray For Community Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. ~Galatians 6:2 Your victory over infertility will largely depend on those who surround you. Whether it is family, friends or other women who are also on the same journey , write down the qualities that you value in those around you as it relates to your infertility journey.

Write out a prayer below asking God to send you the right people to be a part of your community and to block those who should not be a part of your community.

How does the verse above relate to the power of community to you? How can you apply this in your journey and when interacting with your community?

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Day 4: Pray For Confidence "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is in the Lord. ~Jeremiah 17:7 It's not always easy to trust in the Lord, or to hold on to your hope during an infertility journey. Have you lost hope in anything? What areas are you finding it difficult to trust the Lord in?

Write out a prayer below asking God to help you reinforce your trust in Him. Ask Him to make you blind to any and everything around you that threatens your confidence in Him.

Does the verse above affirm anything for you? In what ways can you remember God's almighty power and know that you can trust Him beyond a shadow of a doubt.

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 5: Pray For Contentment And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. ~ I Timothy6:8

Have you experienced any discontentment on your infertility journey? Describe how this makes you feel when you experience it.

Write out a prayer below thanking God for every blessing you have received and every quality you possess that you are grateful for. Read them aloud and take the time to acknowledge the contentment in your blessings and with yourself that rises inside of you.

Write down ways that you can practice gratitude on a daily basis so that you can use it to combat any discontentment that may creep up inside of you.

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 6: Pray For Courage Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord. ~Psalm 31:24 Infertility can be a scary experience. What scares you most about this journey?

Write below about a time God helped you face something that you were afraid of. Then write a prayer asking Him to do it again. Sit silently while you recall this memory vividly and allow Him to refill your heart with that same courage.

Write down ways that you can exercise courage more often. What instances can you choose to show up at instead of run away from so that you can serve notice to it that God is for you and nothing can come against you.

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 7: Pray For Discernment Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. ~ I John 4:1 Discernment can be very helpful during infertility. In what ways do you think heightened discernment could benefit you on this journey?

Write out a prayer below asking God to strengthen your discernment over your body, your doctors, your community and especially your thoughts. The enemy will use any means to get to you and you want to be able to recognize his devices and tricks so that you can immediately pray against them.

Write down ways you can test questionable people, places, and situations that may come your way.

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 8: Pray For Endurance Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy. ~Colossians 1:11 Stamina is a quality that goes a long way in any trial. How would you say your stamina has been holding up on this journey?

Write out a prayer below asking God to always meet the end of your stamina with His strength and simultaneous joy.

There is power in the tongue. Write down an affirmation below that you can say whenever you feel your stamina is running low.

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 9: Pray for Faith And the apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith.". ~Luke 17:5

Faith is evidence of things unseen. Trying to conceive when medicine has deemed you "infertile" is one big faith walk. How has your faith helped you on this journey? How has your lack of faith affected you?

Write out a prayer below asking God to bless your belief in Him and His promise to you on this journey so that it never fades. Ask Him to bless you and forgive you in your times of unbelief.

Write out ways you can exercise faith in big ways. You can purchase baby clothes or baby essentials. Do something in the natural realm that aligns with your belief in the spiritual realm that your baby is coming.

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 10: Pray for Freedom from Fear I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.. ~ Psalm 34:4 At what points in your journey have you been fearful? What situations have triggered those fears repeatedly?

Write out a prayer below declaring to God that you need Him in all situations, especially when fear tries to cripple you. Ask Him to free you from every fear that you mentioned in the question above.

Imagine what kind of actions and thoughts you would have on your journey if you weren't scared of anything. Write down what that looks like for you and how you can apply it to your everyday life.

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of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 11: Pray for Freedom from Jealousy and Envy Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple. ~Job 5:2 How have you dealt with feelings of jealousy or envy of other women/mothers on this journey so far?

Write out a prayer below asking God to remove any roots of resentment, bitter ness, jealousy or envy from your spirit and thoughts. Ask Him for guidance on how to avoid these toxins.

Comparing yourself or your experiences to others is often the origin of jealousy. Think of instances where you do this and write down ways you can combat them when they arise.

day 11

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 12: Pray for Your Future Children For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. ~Isaiah 44:3 Take a moment and allow yourself to think about what your future children will be like at various ages/stages of their life. What challenges do you anticipate they might need at these stages? Without any doubt, write down what lessons, principles, and tools you think they might need in infancy, childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.

Write out a prayer below asking God to go before your future children and meet every need you listed for the above. Keep what you've written on this page and pray over it regularly.

day 12

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 13: Pray for God's Glory In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. ~Matthew5:16 Think about and describe here what glory do you think God will get from your conceiving and birthing a child, and even when they grow older.

Write out a prayer below asking God what plans He has for your pregnancy and future children. Ask Him to reveal to you their purpose and how you can ensure that He gets the most glory from both your and your children's lives.

Write down what God reveals to you after praying the prayer above. How can you prepare for these things right now?

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of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 14: Pray for Grace Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love. ~ Ephesians 6:24

God's grace is so overwhelming. It can be easy to feel undeserving of it. Which parts of your journey do you feel most unworthy of His grace?

Write out a prayer below asking God for grace in the flawed parts of your journey. On another sheet of paper, write a letter to yourself that you can read in the moments where you need to give yourself grace. Write encouraging words to yourself that will uplift you when you are being hard on yourself.

day 14

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 15: Pray for Gratefulness Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~I Thessalonians 5:16-18 Describe the last time you caught yourself complaining or feeling upset about a challenge you faced on your journey?

Write out a prayer below asking God to help you see and sense His gracious nature in every circumstance, no matter what challenges you are facing.

Consider starting a gratitude journal that you can spend time writing in everyday that lists out all of the things you are grateful for. Meditate on those things daily.

day 15

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 16: Pray for Hope Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. ~Psalms 62:5

Are there any moments in your journey that you feel defeated? Have there been any moments where you simply wanted to give up on the fight for your fertility?

Write out a prayer below confessing to God about these moments. Ask Him to go before you and restore your hope in these moments.

Write down all of the ways that God is great, mighty and powerful, and how He cannot fail. Keep these reminders that His power and love are sufficient when your hope feels like it is fading.

day 16

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 17: Pray for Integrity The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them. ~ Proverbs 20:7

Often times, our integrity is challenged when we're unhappy about a trial we're facing in our lives. We can unconsciously treat others (both loved ones and strangers) mean. We can even mistreat ourselves with negative self-talk and bad habits. What kinds of tests to your integrity have you endured throughout your journey?

Write out a prayer below asking God to make you aware of your own actions/words when these times arise. Also, ask Him to give you the strength and humility to immediately correct yourself and make any necessary amends with others in the process.

day 17

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 18: Pray for Joy Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." ~ Nehemiah 8:10 Have you been intentional about keeping and protecting your joy on your journey? Even so, it is possible to lose sight of it during painful times. In what ways have you been able to keep and lose your joy so far on your journey?

Write out a prayer below praising God for all the ways that He brings you joy. Think about all that He has done and how much He loves you. Even when you cannot find joy in circumstances, you can always find joy in the Lord; and that alone will overpower your circumstances.

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of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 19: Pray for Mercy Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place. ~Psalm 28:2 As you experience the ups and downs of this journey, do you ever feel in need of His mercy? Do you ever wonder if you did anything wrong or if you are just being tested like Job and need God's help? Describe those times here.

Write out a prayer below affirming that you know God never forsakes you and that He is indeed your help. Ask Him to constantly build this affirmation up in your mind, body, spirit, and soul. Knowing that He is near can give you a feeling of peace in itself.

Recite this affirmation and scripture (Psalm 28:2) daily so that it will remain in your heart. Never hesitate to cry out to Him for help whenever you desire.

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of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 20: Pray To Obey Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. ~ Psalm 51:12 Do you have any areas of your life in which you feel you've been disobedient to God's word? While your obedience or lack thereof does not impact His love for you, it is always beneficial to be obedient, as it builds our faith in Him and changes the way we deal with challenges. What areas of improvement could you stand to make in your life as it relates to obedience to God?

30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 20: Pray To Obey Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. ~ Psalm 51:12 Write out a prayer that asks God to replace your own desires with His desires. Then ask God to send you a person in the next 24 hours that helps you be obedient to Him. Ask Him to test you in this.

Describe the test/person that God sent to you and how you handled it. What would you have done differently if anything at all?

day 20

of prayer during infertility

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day 20

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 21: Pray for Mental Health We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. ~2 Corinthians 10:5 Infertility can definitely take your thoughts to some scary places and challenge your sanity. In what ways has this journey challenged your mental health? What scary thoughts or emotions have you been experiencing?

Describe the test/person that God sent to you and how you handled it. What would you have done differently if anything at all?

30 Days of prayer during infertility

According to scripture, we can take hold of those unhealthy thoughts. Whether it be depression, thoughts of suicide, or anxiety. Whatever it is, take control of them and hold them captive to the obedience of God. How you ask? By first admitting them; which is why I asked in the question above to confess those thoughts. Secondly, read scriptures such as the one here to yourself when those thoughts come to mind. Then, seek professional help if needed. Now, in this section, write what you know to be true about God's desire for your mental health. Affirm yourself. Pick scriptures that speak to you.

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of prayer during infertility

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day 21

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 22: Pray for Patience This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. ~Habakkuk2:3

What do you need patience for right now regarding your infertility journey?

God has a vision for your life. Write out a prayer below asking Him to reveal this vision to you.

What promises are you waiting for regarding His vision in the verse above?

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of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 23: Pray for Peace And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:7

How has your fight to conceive affected your peace? How has it affected your emotions? Your confidence? Your sense of control?

Write out a prayer affirming that God, creator of the entire universe, is for you and is in control of your life. He is in control of the body. He is control of the outcome of this journey. Ask God to heighten all of your senses so that you are hyper-aware of His control over your journey and that He will grant you the desires of your heart. Rest in this and place this journey entirely in His hands.

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of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 24: Pray for Strength My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26 How would you describe your weakest moments during this journey? How did you respond in these moments?

Write out a prayer giving God permission to always step in during these moments, even when you're too stubborn to ask; even when you forget that He's there just waiting on you to tag Him in the fight.

Write down ways you will rejoice in the moments that you feel weak going forward. Remind yourself that His strength is most effective in your weakness.

day 24

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 25: Pray for Sufficient Finances And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19 How have you prepared financially to provide for your future children? How do you feel about these methods so far? What kinds of financial obligations do you think you will need to provide for your future children so that they can thrive?

Write out a prayer asking God to make more than enough provisions (financially and resourcefully) for your family so that your future children will have everything they need and more to thrive. Ask God to make you an excellent steward of His provisions. Ask God to bless your family's finances so that they multiply into generational wealth, and that He protect your family's wealth from the enemy's attacks.

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of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 26: Pray for True Belief in God's Promises And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28 True belief in God's promises means the complete absence of doubt. Take a moment to honestly reflect on the times in your journey in which you know you were doubtful of God's promises to you. Also, think about the moments that you had absolutely no doubt that God would deliver on His promises.

Write out a prayer asking God to remove all unbelief from within you. Ask Him to fill your heart with a supernatural faith that He loves you is always working for your good.

30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 26: Pray for True Belief in God's Promises And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28 Write a powerful declaration that you can boldly confess to yourself and the enemy when you feel doubt trying to creep in. Use this along with the scripture above to rebuke the spirit of doubt that causes you to disbelieve God's promises.

day 26

of prayer during infertility

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day 26

of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 27: Pray for Trust Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this. ~Psalm 37:5

Have you been able to relinquish full control of your journey to the Lord? Have you committed yourself to follow His lead on this journey? Have you consulted with Him every step of the way? How have you included the Lord on your journey so far?

Write out a prayer that offers God your complete surrender to His will for your journey. Your natural fear of losing control during an act of surrender may surface. However, this is not a surrender to an enemy. This is a surrender to our Heavenly Father who loves you too much to harm you.

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of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 28: Pray for Wisdom Turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding. ~Proverbs 2:3

How has this journey affected your ability to exercise sound wisdom? What kinds of decisions have you had to make on this journey that you needed God's divine wisdom for? What kinds of decisions do you think you will need to make during your future pregnancy and once your children are born that will require wisdom?

Write out a prayer requesting God's infinite wisdom on this journey. Ask Him to allow it to consume so that you might always make the best decisions for you and your family. Ask Him to give you the wisdom you will need to love and rear your children according to His will.

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of prayer during infertility

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30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 29: Pray for Power For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline. ~2Timothy1:7 What specific outcomes are you believing God for on this journey? Write all of them down and be very specific.

You possess the same power that raised Jesus from the dead. Write a prayer that asks God to strengthen your belief in this and to help you tap into the spirit that He gave you of power, love, and self-discipline.

With the full belief that you have access to God's divine power, lay hands on your body and command it to line up with the will of God. Command every outcome you listed above to come to pass in the natural realm. Frequently speak over your body with the power that God gave you.

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of prayer during infertility

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Isaiah 30:21

30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 30: Pray for Your Marriage And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. ~Colossians 3: 14 How has this journey affected your marriage? What have been some of the toughest moments that your marriage had to endure on this journey? What moments on this journey brought you closer together?

Write out a prayer asking God to bless your marriage, particularly during this time. Ask God to heal any parts of your husband that have been wounded on this journey. Ask God to bless him and bring peace and comfort to his soul. Finally, ask God to mend any wounds that both of you have as a collective so that both of you are able to sufficiently love and guide your future children.

30 Days of prayer during infertility

Day 30: Pray for Your Marriage And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. ~Colossians 3: 14 Read the scripture: I Corinthians 4-8. Wherever you see the word "love" replace your name and read it aloud. Do the same with your husband's name. Speak this with both you and your husband's name over your marriage repeatedly and regularly.

day 30

of prayer during infertility

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day 30

of prayer during infertility

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We may have to accept some disappointment but not lose all faith

12-month Calendar

The following page include blank calendar templates for you to log your Dr. appointments and any other important dates to remember. .

sun

mon

tues

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0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

Medications

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Date

Medication

Plans

Notes

Done (Y/N)

fertilityTracker finance Use this log to track all expenses for your fertility treatments, supplies, medications, Dr. visits, and more.

Date

Cost

Procedure

Notes

Paid (Y/N)

Every winner has experienced losses .

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

Medications

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Date

Medication

Plans

Notes

Done (Y/N)

fertilityTracker finance Use this log to track all expenses for your fertility treatments, supplies, medications, Dr. visits, and more.

Date

Cost

Procedure

Notes

Paid (Y/N)

Each test takes courage .

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

sun

mon

tues

Wed

Fri

Sat

0202 ______

thurs

to-do list Weekly Tasks:

Updates:

Monthly Tasks:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

My Doctor's Visit This first date of my last period was:

My overall health and habits:

Medications I am currently taking:

Notes:

Take this sheet to your scheduled doctor visits.

Doctor Visit Questions 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10.

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

diet & food

Tracker

Meat/Protein

Water/Electrolytes

Fruits/Vegetables

Speciality Foods

Meal

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Meals

Water (cups)

Fitness

Tracker

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Day

Workout

Notes

WEIGHT

LBS/KG

Medications

Use this log to keep track of your medication plans and document any important notes for them.

Date

Medication

Plans

Notes

Done (Y/N)

fertilityTracker finance Use this log to track all expenses for your fertility treatments, supplies, medications, Dr. visits, and more.

Date

Cost

Procedure

Notes

Paid (Y/N)

Do not get weary , You can do this .

dreams & prophecies

As you pray and make efforts to conceive, you may experience powerful dreams and receive prophetic words about your fertility. Use blank copies of this sheet to record your thoughts and feelings around these revelations. Use these notes as faith boosters when you feel discouraged.

Date

describe your dream or prophecy

Dreams & Prophecies

dreams & prophecies

Date

describe your dream or prophecy

Dreams & Prophecies

dreams & prophecies

Date

describe your dream or prophecy

Dreams & Prophecies

At the end of the day , all you need is hope and strength .

Hope that it will get better and strength to hold onto it until it does .

A Holistic

Approach

Along with medical interventions or in place of traditional medicine some may want to try more holistic methods. I personally did a combination approach. I combined my medical interventions and holistic regimens. I underwent acupuncture to help relieve stress. I also changed my diet. Meditation is also a service that helps with lowering stress and anxiety levels. Guided meditation can aide in filtering some of those negative thoughts that pop into our head that may not be the most positive. Utilize this space to track some holistic treatments you may want to try. Or list some methods you have already utilized and track your thoughts and experiences before and after. Track your frequency and duration. What techniques have you tried:

A Holistic

Approach

What holistic methods would you like to try:

What does research say or what are the reviews written about these methods:

A Holistic

Approach

My Experience with ________________________ (insert holistic methods youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tried):

What does research say or what are the reviews written about these methods:

Next visit will be: __________________________________

Learn to trust the journey even when you dont understand it

Partner Perspective If you are married, engaged, or in a dating relationship during this season of your life trying to conceive is not a journey you walk alone. Yes, there may be more tasks involved for you to complete and do. However, you are not enduring it alone. Our partners are experiencing hurt as well. Not only do they try to console us and help us with our pain but they have a pain all their own. Often times, their pain goes unnoticed, because of so many other factors. There is pain and helplessness. They may want to help and do not know how, or the help they need is out of their reach. I have asked my husband to share his thoughts on his perspective with our infertility journey. These were his thoughts: As we were going through our infertility struggles, I couldn’t help but be a stronger supporter for my wife. I didn’t really know what that meant and I didn’t know exactly what she needed other than a baby. I don’t really think even she knew what she wanted during this time. Emotions seemed to be all over the place. I tried to make sure I was available to hear her thoughts, and often, I didn’t have an answer; but I was sure to listen. She would make statements of feeling less than a woman if she couldn’t bare children. My wife is a woman who always needs an action plan. She was determined, so I already knew that failure wasn’t an option for her. I wanted to continue to push her and motivate her as much as possible. When she had moments of breaking down or moments when she was tired of injections, I did my best to show her I loved her no matter what. Some days those words helped and other days it seemed like it didn’t. I prayed with her. I was constantly checking her regimen. I even administered daily injections to make sure we didn’t miss any steps. As much as I could do to alleviate stress, I did it. Some days it worked and some days my attempts failed. I just kept at it. It was exhausting at some points. I often had to think of myself last or not at all. I just had to think of all that she was going through and that helped to put somethings in perspective. My wife knew very well that I would be by her side regardless of the outcome. Yes, there was a chance that the outcome wouldn’t be one with a baby, but I didn’t want her to think of that. So, for me, it was taking Hubby Mode to an entirely different level!

Section A:

PArtner reflection

Partners please express your fears here:

Section B:

PArtner reflection

What are somethings that YOU feel during this process:

Section C:

PArtner reflection

What is somethings youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like your partner to know:

Section D:

PArtner reflection

What are somethings you are doing for YOU:

P.S - You deserve to take care of you too. I know you can get caught up in taking care of your loved one, but we need you at your best.

In Closing Although this is the end of this JOURNal, it is not the end of your JOURNey. Notice how the root words in both journal and journey are the same. This is not by coincidence. I believe that this journey is a significant part of your life that deserves to be documented and reflected upon as you press your way through it. Observe your surroundings as you navigate these paths towards motherhood. Take note of it all, because there is purpose in it all. Keep writing. Keep sharing. Keep releasing the good, the bad and the ugly. I pray for your success in achieving your heart’s desire to expand your family. I created this journal with you in mind and in heart. Just know that I understand your feelings and emotions, even when they don’t seem to make sense. I’m right there with you. I’m fighting with you. I’m praying with you. Prayer is the strongest weapon we have!

Please keep in touch and tell me any updates you are comfortable with sharing. I’d love to hear them: SavingSarah.LCSW@gmail.com

Love, Shakeena Brantley Your sister in Christ and your sister in fight.

If you saw the size of the blessing

coming you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting