Review The
of Psi Upsilon Fall 2012
Brothers or Bullies? Hassan O. Abdelhalim, Phi Delta ‘10 (Mary Washington University), Chapter Leadership Consultant Bullies are losing power. In an increasingly connected wired and wireless world, bullies can no longer rely on an individual’s isolation from information to insulate their abusive behavior. As bullying is scrutinized under a broader cultural lens, terms like “nerd” have gone from insult to indicators of insight. From PTO’s to boot camps, NCAA locker rooms, boardrooms at Google, concert stages and standup performances, our friends and families declare that bullying is repugnant. Belittling, demeaning or physically harming another person is not a value anyone would espouse. Bullying and hazing behaviors are driven by a disparity in power dynamics. Bullying can happen to anyone and emphasizes the perpetrator’s perception of power. Hazing is done to a person or group of people seeking to gain entrance or acceptance into a club, organization, team, workplace or formal group and occurs through the paradigm of the victim’s perception of power. Bullying and hazing are both incongruent with Psi Upsilon’s values. By its very nature Psi Upsilon offers an environment averse to the inherent power dynamics of bullying. The lessons of self-governance, democracy, and group-living allow students to develop as leaders while contributing as equals. In 2013 Psi Upsilon will celebrate 180 years of brotherhood. From its founding in 1833, Psi U’s mission has been to build friendships through a commitment to moral, intellectual and social excellence. If Psi Upsilon is to survive the next 180 years brothers must commit to the principles and values that support a framework cultivating personal growth. Membership in Psi Upsilon is an investment in personal development. When we allow activities that humiliate, degrade, or embarrass, and that risks emotional or physical harm to another regardless of that person’s willingness to participate, we all suffer. Reluctance to welcoming new members into Psi Upsilon damages the integrity of Psi Upsilon. It isn’t made better by being forced to drink, exercise, stay awake or do embarrassing things that would upset you if the same was asked of your siblings. Membership in Psi Upsilon is offered as a cherished gift, given in the spirit of friendship.
Allowing the pledge process to devolve into meaningless rituals often turns into attempts to outdo the misguided intentions of previous classes. Demanding a derisive pledgeship under the guise of building brotherhood echoes deep insecurity. True brotherhood derives from faith in the principles that have supported Psi Upsilon for more than 179 years. Call it what you will, hazing or bullying, it’s not brotherhood building and it has no place in pledging or at any other stage of a brother’s life. Psi Upsilon is not held in high regard despite overcoming brief disrespectful treatment. Brothers cherish the depth of building relationships. Bringing it out into the open for intelligent discussion and real change is difficult. Brothers with the awareness to speak out in the moment are those who do not allow themselves to become victims. Psi U has lost four chapters in recent years as a result of bad behavior, poor choices, weak leadership and a lot of excuses. It’s time to call it what it is – unacceptable. We joined Psi U to become better people and to benefit from the synergy that comes from true friendship. Closing a chapter is painful but not nearly as painful as knowing that our younger brothers are denied the experience of fraternity as it was meant to be, a safe place to grow, learn and develop lifelong friendships. Hazing seeps into the absence of guidance. It’s time for all brothers, alumni and undergraduates alike, to do something about the bullying behavior. Make Psi U a place that stands out by living its commitment to excellence. Don’t tsk-tsk and wish it were different, take a stand against the biggest threat to Psi Upsilon today. • If you are active in a chapter that hazes, stand up, speak up and change the culture. • If you are an alumnus, get involved as a volunteer. Chapters with strong alumni support are less likely to engage in acts of hazing. • Support Psi Upsilon with a gift to the Annual Fund, which funds staff visits to chapters, goal setting chapter retreats, and educational programming to address inappropriate pledging activities.