THE POWER OF "NO": REJECTION IS A CATALYST, NOT A BARRIER

by Cynthia Vasquez

Like my mother Beyoncé said in her 2019 interview with ELLE, “Least favorite word: No.” Show of hands, who else can relate? One lesson I’ve learned is that a “no” is a sign to move on and create a new opportunity for ourselves. If we’re not capable of successfully challenging it to receive a “yes” from our rejection’s source, it’s time to pivot our lives in a new direction.

As the world has recently proven, it’s even more vital to remember that we’re in charge of creating our breakthroughs. 2020 is an all-around interesting year. It’s almost inconceivable how the world has so drastically changed in only six months. Our lives won’t go back to normal because it’s a new reality we’re living in. One that we’ll have to adapt to and learn to manage from a new perspective.

It’s the unexpected rejection that’s added to the world’s hysteria. After being impacted by a pandemic that’s brought the entire world to a standstill, we’re all attempting to piece together the latter. What is going to happen once everything resumes?

The fact that we’ve all faced a lot of “no’s” has caused us to fill in a lot more blanks than usual. Even moments that would’ve shaped our lifetimes were postponed, or canceled, as a result.

Amid a plethora of abrupt rejection, it’s easy to think how receiving a few more green lights would’ve made understanding our new definition of normal somewhat stress-ridden. They could’ve led to more paychecks and less worry. They could’ve prevented us from moving back home with our parents or even having to postpone a semester or year of school.

In general, a lot less rejection would’ve allowed most of us to feel better. Yet, we’ll eventually have to progress. Pondering what could’ve or would’ve happened only allows us to remain fixated on the past. Instead, we can ask ourselves, “How do I plan to move forward and past the “no’s?”

Rejection actually does hurt and that’s why it’s difficult to move on from it. Studies show the areas in the brain activated when we’re in physical pain are also stimulated when we’re given the cold shoulder. So, when life punches us, we must heal and plan to bounce back. If not, what else can we do?

We don’t (and usually can’t) wait for the latter to just appear. But, that’s a negative point-of-view. Instead, we can approach it from a mentality that whatever was meant to happen, did. 2020 was meant to happen for a reason. Why? I don’t think most people have a definite answer to that. Yet, the question we can ask is, “What can I do now to prepare for when this is all over?” Or, even ponder the steps to creating a new door after the world has seemingly closed a vast majority of them.

There’s power in a no. Rejection encourages us to change. This time in history is unique because the world is changing along with us. It’s showing us we’re supposed to do things differently; and thankfully, we’re always capable of adapting.

Life functions in a complex way and we can only trust in our ability to make the most of the cards we’re dealt. Although a closed-door can seem to work against us, it’s usually a favor. Wondering why the things that seemingly didn’t happen in our favor or happening to us only hinder our future plans. In reality, everything is happening for us, even if we don’t fully understand at first.

Rejection gives us the fuel to reroute our lives and organize ourselves for successes that align with who we are. Anyone who’s successful in their own way claims they faced a lot of “no’s” before they found a silver-lining. Usually, one that they created.

Today, our situation isn’t any different.