A TIMELESS TIMELINE

BY CHLOÉ ADAMS

Fifty-four years. That’s how long my parents have known each other. And in marriage, forty-five years of “get off my side of the bed” and countless spaghetti dinners. Fifty-four years of friendship, happiness, anger, confusion, laughs, cries and everything in between. My mom and dad are (what we call in today’s society) boomers- those born between 1946 and 1964. They grew up right in the middle of the Civil Rights Movement. They are literal walking history and so is their love. I’ve heard countless stories of experiences in their lifetime together that have shaped them, their families and their lives. I often like to think that their stories are a big contribution to American history. Their history, one that has expanded to over half-a-century and just keeps growing, continues to thrive. Fifty-four years of pure, raw, unbreaking love. A lot can happen that only a timeline could tell.

1966

My parents met in high school. They attended Midwood High School in Brooklyn, NY. “I was walking to class one morning. I was in ninth grade,” said my mom. “And dad and his friends were standing on the school steps watching me.” I asked my dad if he remembered that moment and he responded, as he was eating his dinner, “Kind of.” They both laughed. They were fourteen. They were in a group called “A Panel of American Youth.” The purpose of the panel was for the youth to express why there was so much hatred and anger in the world during that time.

1968

The assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

1970

In college, my parents were friends and started seriously dating about 2-3 years into school. Prior to that, my mom said my dad “chased her.” He befriended her siblings, took her mom out to lunch with them, helped move her into her dorm, and did just about everything under the sun! In fact, he was around so much that some of the alum from her college (SUNY Albany), believe he was a part of their graduating class. Note: He did NOT attend college at SUNY Albany. 1970

1974

My dad became a police officer.

1975

“I proposed to her at a restaurant,” my dad said as he was eating dinner. “We went to lunch. A nice restaurant with music, good food, nice environment.” “Really?” my mom asked, “Yeah,” he responded. She turns and rolls her eyes. “There was no restaurant,” she responds in a snarky, yet playful manner. “I worked at MetLife. He proposed to me in front of an insurance company, in a car during my lunch break. He was too excited to wait for a restaurant.” Mom and dad got married at twenty-three years old in their Queens, NY apartment. For most of us around that age, the most we want to do is figure out what we want to eat for dinner or go to brunch.

The End of the Vietnam War 1975

1976

My parents used to live on Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn, NY. During the summer, they would ride their bikes down about three or four miles to Coney Island and get a Nathan’s hot dog and ride back home to get a milkshake from Carvel. They used to sit outside on the bench and talk, people watch and look at the cars go by.

1978

My brother was born and my mother became a teacher

1981

The release of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”

1982

My sister was born

1984

The Cosby Show first aired

1988-1994

For six years, my family went through a rough period. In 1988, my parents uprooted their lives in New York and moved to New Jersey. However, in between this time, my mom lost her grandmother and mother within a year of each other, as well as cousins and uncles, too. During this time period, my mom also started teaching at New Brunswick High School and in 1994, her dad passed away – two months before I was born. It was a hard six years. All they wanted to do was get through it. 1988-1994

1991

The Internet became popular

1995

A queen was born. I was a surprise child. That was the big news of the 90’s in my family. No one expected me to come and it definitely affected their lifestyles (for the better, I might add).

2001

September 11, 2001 was one of the saddest, scariest days, especially for my dad because he retired from being an NYC detective one year prior. His office was located on the seventy-seventh floor of the World Trade Center. Over fifty of his colleagues and friends passed away that day. His father passed away one year prior as well.

2007

The first iPhone was released

2008

Barack Obama was elected as President of the United States of America

2016

My mom became Dr. Antoinette Adams (Ed.D). It took her ten years. Within this time, my dad lost his mother, my mom got a new job and lost two sisters within a year and a half of each other and switched schools all while taking care of their family.

2019

My mom retires from serving in education after 40 years (December)

Growing up, I didn’t really understand the importance of black love. I didn’t understand how scarce it was. I thought everyone pretty much had similar upbringings. I didn’t know what it meant to truly love someone because to me, love was the norm. Love was always in the room. It was day-today. It was the hardships. It was arguments. It was the grocery-store runs and rainy days. It was the career boosters and the dinners with friends and the vacations with one another. It was the children. It was forgiveness. It was work. But nevertheless, it was black love. Real black love. Over half a century of it, thriving every day. I didn’t realize it then, but I know now that I am lucky to have seen it right in front of my eyes. I am lucky to know the stories and to be able to share the timeline. It’s real. It’s here. It’s living. And I know that because I see it every day. And so in 2020, I sat with my parents and I was able to ask them one important question about their timeline. One important question about fifty-four years. It seems like a long time. Just think about all that’s happened. “How does it feel to have been together for nearly three-quarters of your lives,” I asked. And their answer was simple. It was timeless. 2020