I Found Love in a Hopeless Place

BY: SHERDRAIN JOHNSON

Yo Gotti’s song “Down in the DM” is not only an anthem, but it’s a way of life. Well, maybe not for everyone. But sliding in the DMs shows great character. It also shows great courage because approaching a crush is no easy feat, inperson and online. In a Black Love Instagram poll, I asked participants if they were opposed to sliding in someone’s DMs. 49% of respondees said yes while 51% of brave souls disagreed, saying they were about that life. Of that 51%, almost half said that they had success in going on a date afterward. Here are some of their stories:

@chloefrancena - He’s my man now. We are going on 7 months.

@clarities_bliss -We’re getting married.

@_rd100_ - [I loved it] when [I got hit with the] ‘well it’s about time’.

@anonymous - I slid in this jet’s football player’s DMs and we chilled. [We] went out a few times. [Still] crazy though.

@leoness8 - My best friend at the time told him that I liked him, so he slid in my myspace messages (ancient, I know) and we were talking for a good 2 months and then he FINALLY asked me out. I was elated. Fast forward almost 14 years, we are now married with a beautiful baby girl.

For the other 52% of individuals that had fails happen in the DMs, these are their stories:

@anonymous - Lmao. He told me I was “cute” but he was seeing someone. Then posted about single life.

@hadiyaife - [It] was a subtle shot… We had a lil convo but then he just had low energy so… [it was a] dub.

@soseree_j - [A request for] feet pics.

@anonymous - One guy asked to book me for a gig. His first date idea was for us to film a porn together.

After hearing both successful and unsuccessful DM stories, we decided to pull together a list of DOs and DON’Ts when it comes to proper DM sliding.

#1 - DO make the conversation starter something relatable.

Topics like a question about their most recent post, a common interest and/or mutual friends.

#2 – DON’T send or ask for a nude pic … like ever.

That is not a good first impression, trust us!

#3 – DO ask the person out after at least three DM conversations.

Asking within the first conversation may be too pushy. It’s all about being cool, calm and collected.

#4 – DO start with a compliment or funny joke.

Compliments and jokes can brighten just about anyone’s day.

#5 – DON’T enter the DMs by trolling or roasting… unless you know the person.

Certain things don’t translate well over text. Wait until each of you can get a gist of each other’s humor.

#6 - DO be genuine.

If you ever want to go on a date with this person, being yourself will take you the furthest and lets the recipient know that catfishes are far and few