BROWN SKIN GIRL

BY RAMONA ROBERTS

“W e are a reflection of our girls, and because we are a reflection of them, we have a responsibility to them.” That’s one of the most powerful things Khristi Adams said when I talked with her about her book and her passion for telling black girls’ stories.

Recently released on February 4th, 2020, “The Parable of the Brown Girl” is a book that educates the reader on what black girls deal with in their adolescent years. “It centers their experiences, their stories, how they navigate through life’s challenges and how they sort of identify in this world with very little resources and support. This book celebrates them. It’s for the reader to be able to listen and absorb, but also see God through them and learn something about their own lives, learn something about God.”

Adams expresses that she often sees herself in the stories, and points out that even if she didn’t experience what they experienced personally, she still relates and finds herself in the story. “I am all of the girls that I wrote about in the book and the girls that I continue to have relationships with. The girls whose stories are in the book are just a reflection of myself. For the most part a lot of the girls have gone through things that I have gone through or are going through things that I went through as a child or adolescent. But also things that we continue to go through as black women well into our adulthood.”

Having her own story growing up as a beautiful brown skin girl, she focuses on the last chapter of the book that describes the “white acting” brown girl who struggled with code switching between black environments with peers and white environments as the only black girl.

“I grew up in a predominantly white environment, in East Brunswick [New Jersey], and went to predominantly white schools. But my church was all black- an African American church. So I had to navigate in and out of those very environments. I tried to act black around my peers at church, and I guess try to conceal the influence that white culture was sort of having on me in those environments. But then when i’m in white environments, you’re the token black person, and the token black girl, they expect you to act a certain way. But, you’re not really accepted unless you blend. When you’re trying to evolve and come to a real confident sense of self, they talk about be yourself all the time, those are the messages we receive as kids, but it’s really, really difficult for black girls in certain settings because they constantly have to code switch and figure out what would work socially for them so that they will be accepted. And that was definitely me growing up my entire adolescence.I really didn’t come out of that until I went to Temple [University]. Because when I got to college, everything was about self-expression”

When dealing with such experiences it can create an emptiness and hinder your self love. For Khristi, she turned to basketball to fill that void and distract her from her own story. “Well, I was a basketball player. I found a lot of safety in that sport because it was no personality you know? It was just talent and skill. So I found a home in my sport so I was able to channel a lot of that frustration and I found a lot of acceptance when I was on the court. The problem with that, was that was the only place I felt like that. I mean obviously at home, but when you’re a kid you’re spending 9 hours, 8 hours at school. So that is your main educational and social structure. So, it was basketball. But when I wasn’t playing basketball, I was severely insecure.”

The former athlete also explains the importance of friendships and how a particular friend in her life was a huge safe space for her. “In the opening of the book, and the acknowledgments I talk about one of my friends who died a week after I signed the book contract. Just the effect he had on my life as an adolescent. And I say in the book that when I met him I was insecure and angry and really broken. But this was a person that I met in the beginning of my high school career that I found a home in because he really truly loved me like one of the best friends I ever had. He didn’t come to any of my basketball games, didn’t care that I played basketball *laughs*, and there was nothing that I could just offer him. I didn’t have to switch into any person or culture or whatever when I was around him.”

Khristi emphasizes that black women are constantly fighting societal and social standards of what is beautiful and what is accepted. Whether it’s the texture of your hair, tone of your skin, or the personality you embrace, we must always remember that our self-love and acceptance is all that matters.

“There are really great parts of who we are, there are unique things or unique gifts on the inside of black girls. But in order for black girls to get to a place where they truly love and accept who they are, they have to go through this sort of darkness of the soul. You have to be able to dive into all of the parts of who you are and sit in it. Sit in that tension for a little while, until you get to a place where you can accept that. And when you do, it doesn’t matter if people love and accept you or not, you’ve already been on that journey for yourself!”

The Parable of a Brown girl is a testament and lesson to the strength behind being a black woman. The writer explains the book is good for high school girls and young adults to read, but they aren’t her main audience. “Black girls already know about their experiences, they don’t need to read an affirmation about it. Who needs to read it, are people that don’t know. It’s mainly for adults. Parents, educators, community leaders, church leaders, anybody that has a connection with a black girl, want’s a deeper connection with black girls, is curious or maybe wants a better understanding of black girls experiences and how they can perceive them [black girls’] differently... not only are we learning about these girls, but how the girls find ways to navigate their own challenges and situations can speak a word to us about how we too can navigate our own situations.”

BLACK GIRLS HAVE STORIES TOO.

PARABLE OF THE BROWN GIRL IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON AND IN BARNES AND NOBLE