Queen City Nerve - October 5, 2022

Page 1

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 23; OCTOBER 5 - OCTOBER 18 , 2022; WWW.QCNERVE.COM LOOKING FOR CLOSURE Local performers discusss the demise of Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte
NEWS: Violence interrupters on the West End pg. 4 FOOD: Cold Hearted Gelato gets warm welcome pg. 14
Pg. OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM

PUBLISHER

JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS jlafrancois@qcnerve.com

EDITOR IN CHIEF

RYAN PITKIN rpitkin@qcnerve.com

DIGITAL EDITOR KARIE SIMMONS ksimmons@qcnerve.com

STAFF WRITER PAT MORAN pmoran@qcnerve.com

STAFF WRITER NIKOLAI MATHER nmather@qcnerve.com

SALES EXECUTIVE RENN WILSON rwilson@qcnerve.com

TABLE OF

NEWS & OPINION

CITY NERVE

On the Ground by Ryan Pitkin

chat

ARTS & CULTURE

Looking for Closure by Dezanii Lewis

performers discuss the demise of Actor’s

of Charlotte

Momentum by Pat Moran

Through April forges

FOOD & DRINK

Warm Welcome by Rayne Antrim

Hearted Gelato arrives

rapidly changing

Family Spirit by Karie Simmons

LIFESTYLE

Grant

Lewis, Katie

Vanuga, Carter

Pg. 3 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
TO PLACE AN ADVERTISEMENT EMAIL INFO@QCNERVE.COM QUEEN
WELCOMES SUBMISSIONS OF ALL KINDS. PLEASE SEND SUBMISSIONS OR STORY PITCHES TO INFO @ QCNERVE.COM. QUEEN CITY NERVE IS PUBLISHED EVERY OTHER WEDNESDAY BY NERVE MEDIA PRODUCTIONS LLC. QUEEN CITY NERVE IS LOCATED IN ADVENT COWORKING AT 933 LOUISE AVENUE, CHARLOTTE, NC, 28204. FIRST ISSUE OF QUEEN CITY NERVE FREE. EACH ADDITIONAL ISSUE $5. @QUEENCITYNERVE WWW.QCNERVE.COM
AD
CONTENTS COVER DESIGN BY: JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS
4
A
with Charlotte’s violence interrupters
6
Local
Theatre
8 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks MUSIC 10 Forward
Falling
connection on the road 12 Soundwave
14 A
Cold
in a
Plaza Midwood 16 The
Seven Jars Distillery’s bootlegging roots continue to drive the business
18 Puzzles 20 The Seeker by Katie
21 Horoscope 22 Savage Love Thanks to our contributors: Grant Baldwin, Rayne Antrim, Dezanii
Grant, Gage Skidmore, Jeff
Sterling, and Dan Savage.

ON THE GROUND

A chat with Charlotte’s violence interrupters

In November 2020, as the city of Charlotte surpassed 100 homicides for the second year in a row, local government began to take action. The city invested $1 million in local anti-violence nonprofits through a new SAFE Charlotte plan and invited the Chicago-based violence-interruption program Cure Violence in to assess how it might work with people on the ground to put a stop to the killing.

Charlotte launched its Alternatives to Violence program, based on the Cure Violence model, in August 2021 with an announcement that drugkingpin-turned-community-advocate Belton Platt would head a pilot program on the Beatties Ford Road corridor.

Within four months, Platt was no longer with the organization. Though none of the involved parties would speak on the record about it to Queen City Nerve, multiple people close to the situation stated that Platt was let go due to a failure to consistently file mandatory paperwork regarding his team’s work.

In December 2021, a new team was brought on, headed by longtime community advocates Leondra Garrett, ATV violence interruper; and Earl Owens, site coordinator. Together they oversee a team of five.

According to Federico Rios with the city’s SAFE Communities Committee, the Beatties Ford Road corridor has seen a drop in violent crime since implementing the Alternatives to Violence (ATV) pilot, though a full analysis will not be released until the current team has been on the ground for a full year.

According to Rios, as of Sept. 12, ATV violence interrupters had mediated 45 potentially violent situations and seen 19 participants pass through the program, referring to troubled youth whom interrupters had helped to find jobs, graduate school, or accomplish some other thing.

Even without the full yearly analysis, city leaders had seen enough progress in the team’s early work to expand it.

At a meeting on Sept. 12, Charlotte City Council unanimously approved $1 million in federal

funding to begin implementing the next phase of Alternatives to Violence, which will bring new ATV teams to the Nations Ford/Arrowood roads corridor, Southside Homes, and the West Boulevard/Remount Road corridor.

Earlier in September, we sat down with Owens and Garrett to discuss what their work looks like and how they operate on a corridor that has seen not only neighborhood violence but rapid gentrification.

Queen City Nerve: We’ve run into you many times while reporting on grassroots community organizing, Leondra. Before getting involved with ATV, what were your focuses?

Leondra Garrett: I was working with our houseless neighbors, with an organization called Block Love. We feed folks seven days a week, twice on Sundays. I also started a nonprofit called My Pieces for Black and brown families that have loved ones on the autism spectrum. And I’ve just been doing advocacy work for people in our community that need resources, need a voice, teaching people how to navigate systems by themselves and standing up for what they want and being an advocate for themselves and just kind of being out here in the streets doing the work.

And how about you, Earl? How did you get involved with ATV?

Earl Owens: So I came to Charlotte over six years ago from the federal penitentiary, and I started volunteering, speaking at schools or wherever I could to talk about my experience with gang activity in prison, criminal behavior and things like that. I got involved in the behavioral health field, and then my name just kind of got out there. So a lady from the county called me one day and asked if I would be interested in something like this. Quite naturally,

of course I would! Because, number one, it gives me the opportunity to work with young people. I feel like if I can get to you at 13, I might not see you at 50. That’s big for me. And then once I got inside and I saw the people that I’m working with, well, this is the perfect situation for me to be involved in something that means something. We ain’t just building cabinets. We’re changing lives. You know what I’m saying? It’s something that I believe in.

I believe you all began your work in West Charlotte High School. What did that look like?

Leondra Garrett: We partnered with Communities in Schools at West Charlotte High School. And so what they did was gave us a list of their high-risk youth, which are youth that usually are involved in some type of violent activity, illegal activities, or they are justice-involved or have been justice-involved. And so from there, we were able to build a rapport with the students, introduce them to our program, which teaches them alternatives to violence from carrying guns, selling drugs, armed robberies, stealing cars, that kind of thing, and just kind of transforming their mindsets and their lives

Pg. 4 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM NEWS & OPINION FEATURE
LEONDRA GARRETT (LEFT) AND EARL OWENS. PHOTO BY RYAN PITIN

and letting them know that there are alternatives to this rather than that.

We’ve been doing court support. We sent 14 kids to the prom. We also had 10 football players that graduated that when we started with them they had activities going on that were illegal and irresponsible, and they graduated with 4.0 or better grades and they’re all off to college now — got four scholarships for college.

I always ask, “What else is it that you would like to be doing other than this? So if I can take this away, what else is it that I can give you that you’re really going to stick to and it’s going to be a thing?” And that’s been the biggest help for this work.

And literal violence interruption also plays a role in the work, right?

Earl Owens: Exactly. That’s what we do. When violence occurs, that is our main objective to identify the persons involved and try to offer them a different way instead of going out and retaliating or perpetuating that violence. Then another part is, I know they talk about it on the news when a kid gets caught with a gun at school and they talk about expelling them. We’re subject to step in and take that same child and take him through an alternative school and make sure that he graduates and give him an opportunity.

Because to everyone else he’s a statistic. They report that they found such and such amount of guns in CMS schools and then they don’t know what happens to him after that.

Earl Owens: Right, nobody asked what happened to him. What was the result of that? No one asked that. We do the work that nobody wants to do. We do the type of work that involves us going into homes, stepping into people’s lives that may otherwise not want anybody in their life, especially when it comes to addressing what they consider to be normal behaviors. Now, the violence in this community is much different than what the public thinks it is. When it occurs, it’s sporadic and oftentimes it’s domestic. Sometimes it’s internal where there’s no inroads and there’s no solution that we can find other than making those families aware that we’re available to them and that we have resources to help them get to another space in life.

Sometimes we get participants out of those situations, but to be honest with you, the real work that we do is out here on these streets engaging with the community and just giving them an idea of, “Man, there’s some guys and this girl walking around here saying they could help me get a job,” or, “My baby in jail and they might be able to help him get out of jail or maybe help him do something better or different when he does get out.” So that’s where Alternatives to Violence is effective, by being able to be there. Because once the police pull up the yellow tape, that’s over with. And they ain’t got no

resources, they ain’t doing no follow up, they can give a damn how your family feels about their child who just got murdered.

You’re working in what’s been officially deemed a “Corridor of Opportunity” in Charlotte, meaning the city is working to bring development here, like the Chase Bank that opened with a lot of fanfare last November. How is the rapid growth along this corridor changing the way you approach your work?

Earl Owens: We’re promoting grassroots people from here, like [Michelle Ashley] who owns and operates Buzz City [Bar & Grill] right off of Catherine Simmons [Avenue]. Her whole family’s here. So ATV has adopted that business because we want the community to know that we support local business owners and we want to see more of it. And we would like to see the city and county do makeovers on the shops — not run them out of business, but help them enhance their business, give their buildings a facelift.

Leondra Garrett: For me, I see [new developments] as a temporary fix, right? And so we’re just going to put a Band-Aid on a gaping wound so that we don’t have as much blood leaking

out as we had before when there was nothing on there. And having a temporary fix for what we know now is going to be a temporary community that has been a long-standing community for years, this is the Band Aid of it.

So this Alternatives to Violence program, yes, the violence has went down. So guess what? Yeah, white people want to move here because now there’s no violence. We don’t have as many shootings. We don’t have all of that anymore. So, hey, now this is the community that we can go in and we can gentrify.

And gentrification is not good. Gentrification is harm. Gentrification is poisonous and it’s toxic. Because what we do know is now we have more houseless neighbors, we have more seniors that will be in nursing homes and will have to die in those places, and more families displaced because the rentals over here are starting to sell. And so, yes, this program has worked, but I think just us being able to be present in the community and having a voice and not just doing Alternatives to Violence, but also just providing a hope for these people and giving them a sense of hope and being a voice and giving them resources and teaching them how to advocate for themselves, that’s what matters. Because soon there’s going to be nothing that we can do.

Pg. 5 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM NEWS & OPINION FEATURE
RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM ATV HOSTS A COMMUNITY TOWN HALL IN LINCOLN HEIGHTS IN SEPTEMBER.
PHOTO
BY RYAN PITKIN

LOOKING FOR CLOSURE

A train horn blares in the distance disturbing the peaceful, wooded area near McAlpine Creek. A gentle, chilly breeze blows the leaves onto the ground and rain droplets mist the air. Maybe the sun will come out. Fall has arrived and with it comes the time of year to frequent the arts. Today I’m seeing a play, but this production isn’t inside an auditorium — it’s at a barn.

Or a barn-turned-venue, I should clarify.

When the figurative curtain rises on Shepherd Shakespeare’s production of Twelfth Night at the Barn at MoRa, we see a six-man ensemble playing the parts of 12 characters. It’s a funny, raucous display that gets the audience involved.

As Feste, a fool played by Scott Tynes-Miller, delivers his monologue, a baby in the audience babbles its approval, to which Tynes-Miller replies, “I know, right?” without missing a beat. He later convinces the audience to chant with him to get one of the onstage characters taken away.

Each actor in the play thrives at this signature brand of immersive comedy, making it a fun adventure for the entire family. For Chester Shepherd, co-founder of Shepherd Shakespeare, this was always the goal.

“We’re trying to present something here that is for the whole family, that is true to Shakespeare and that we’re not dumbing it down at all, but presenting it in a way that the energy and the comedy — that children can enjoy as well,” he said.

This is one of the biggest differences between Shepherd Shakespeare and Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte (ATC), with which many of the actors onstage have a history.

Known for its edgier displays, ATC could not often be described as family-friendly, but it doesn’t deter from how important and exciting their

productions are.

Because of their past with ATC, Jeremy DeCarlos, Leslie Giles and Tynes-Miller jumped at the chance to work with Chester Shepherd in his latest production.

“History was made,” said DeCarlos when speaking about auditioning for Twelfth Night. Shepherd co-founded Shepherd Shakespeare

with his wife, Katy, in the spring, and Twelfth Night is the company’s first full-scale production. Both cofounders had worked with ATC many times in the past and had hoped to continue working with them for years to come.

“It was the desire of our hearts to continue to work at Actor’s Theatre while doing our own thing because Actor’s Theatre is just family to us,” he said.

Unfortunately, that will no longer be possible.

On Sept. 19, ATC announced it will cease operations at the end of its fall production of Evil Dead: The Musical, citing the ramifications of the pandemic and dismal ticket sales since resuming productions as reasons for the closure.

Then Hurricane Ian delayed the start of its final production. Originally scheduled to debut Evil Dead on Sept. 29, the company was forced to push the opening night back to Oct. 5 due to concerns about the weather.

Absorbing the loss

News of the closure was received with varying degrees of disappointment. “It’s kind of like a loss in the family in a way,” said Tynes-Miller.

As with DeCarlos, Giles, and Shepherd, TynesMiller anticipated working with ATC in the future. Collectively, the group of performers agreed on one word to describe the sudden announcement of ATC’s closure: tragic.

“I would’ve auditioned in a heartbeat,” Giles said.

Tynes-Miller echoed these sentiments.

The eagerness to work with Actor’s Theatre stemmed from a number of things, including the company’s lurid way of storytelling and the content of those stories.

“I was very proud in the sense that the shows that Actor’s Theatre produced were very timely and relevant to the community in Charlotte,” said DeCarlos, who has had what he calls a “soft 18-year residency” with ATC.

“Things that we’ve been experiencing here — things like gentrification, things like class and mobility, race and equity — you could always count on Actor’s Theatre to have at least one production that season that addressed something that was right on the tip of the community’s tongue.”

Both Tynes-Miller and DeCarlos expressed their

Pg. 6 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM ARTS FEATURE
Local performers discuss the demise of Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN LESLIE GILES (SECOND FROM L), SCOTT TYNES-MILLER (THIRD FROM L), AND JEREMY DECARLOS (FAR RIGHT) APPEAR IN ‘TWELFTH NIGHT.’

ARTS

concerns that a lot of important stories may go untold in the wake of the company’s closing.

In a statement from ATC executive director Laura Rice announcing the closure on Sept. 19, she emphasized that she hopes to see other local folks in

evaporate from my schedule overnight,” said DeCarlos. “And that was the rest of my year.”

All in the group agreed that, though audiences have returned to some extent, the levels of reception aren’t what they were pre-pandemic. However, there’s still hope that they can get there again … eventually.

In the meantime, these actors told Queen City

kind of just keeping posted on what the rest of the community is doing,” DeCarlos said. “Getting into those auditions, reworking new connections — so it’s kind of back to the audition room, basically.”

Forever memories from Actor’s Theatre

Among the many things each actor will take with them from their days working with ATC are the memories and lessons they learned.

They each had fond memories from working with ATC, most of which consisted of building longlasting and impactful relationships.

For Giles, ATC reunited her with her old college classmate and colleague, DeCarlos.

“[We] went to college together and being able to share the stage with probably my favorite actor that I got to share the stage with in college was a joy and continues to be a joy,” she said.

Giles also met her boyfriend while working with ATC.

Tynes-Miller didn’t meet his wife, Three Bone Theatre co-founder Robin Tynes-Miller, through ATC, but he got to perform with her.

“We were fortunate to be cast in the same show at Actor’s Theatre one time and we got to play

characters very different from ourselves in many different ways, and not a couple, and so it was just a fun little portion of our relationship,” he said.

When recalling his fondest memory, DeCarlos whistled and said he had a lot, but one stands out.

“We weren’t producing anything but we had this wonderful company, castwide party, like this Fourth of July party. I’ll never forget being on the roof of Actor’s Theatre, watching the fireworks with my dog in my arms,” he said.

One thing they all agreed on was that working with ATC was like working with family. The theatre community is tight-knit and the void that will be left by ATC will be palpable.

Scott Tynes-Miller believes another company will rise to fill that void and, hopefully, audiences will return to support the communities.

“But how long that takes is anybody’s guess,” DeCarlos added.

The rain has cleared, but the wind has picked up, driving down the temperature. The sun never came out. People are packing up the set, grabbing their belongings and going on with their lives. Another train horn blares in the distance, chugging on toward a destination that we can’t yet see.

the theatre scene fill the vacuum in storytelling that will be left by the company’s closure.

“For decades, we’ve been able to showcase Charlotte’s wide range of local talent, while providing a home for working artists to tell contemporary stories and entertain residents,” wrote Rice, who took over after longtime executive director Chip Decker stepped down in July. “I hope ATC’s journey has made the path easier for another theatre company to fill the void we are leaving behind. As the Charlotte theatre and arts community is growing every day, I have no doubts that other companies will continue to flourish in our absence.”

Moving forward

The trick for any company that hopes to fill that void is to learn to navigate the landscape in a post-pandemic world. Like many other companies and organizations, ATC suffered heavily during the pandemic, but they weren’t alone. Theatre companies across the state suffered.

“When the pandemic hit, I saw six projects

Nerve they will continue to work with Shepherd Shakespeare and other local companies whenever possible.

“I think what I also love about Shepherd Shakespeare is that you get that same feeling of the care [that ATC had] for actors,” Giles said. “Above all else, making sure the actors are taken care of, have what they need, and that in turn makes the actors give 100%.”

The relationships DeCarlos, Giles and TynesMiller had formed with ATC afforded them access to auditions and roles that they will now have to work hard to replace.

While the inception of Shepherd Shakespeare may help, it is still a new company and will take time to reach the heights of ATC, which was founded in 1989 and at the time of September’s announcement was in the midst of its 34th season.

In the interim, the three actors anticipate rebuilding what will be lost.

“It’s going to have to be a period of learning how to re-navigate the theatre community and

Pg. 7 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
FEATURE
INFO@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN JEREMY DECARLOS (RIGHT) IN ‘TWELFTH NIGHT.’

SUN

‘THE SPOOK WHO SAT BY THE DOOR’

A satire on race relations and a powerful polemic about institutional racism, The Spook Who Sat by the Door could have been an influential call to arms — if all but one print hadn’t been confiscated by the FBI. Produced by U.S. foreign service veteran Sam Greenlee as an adaptation of his own novel and directed by Ivan Dixon (Nothing But A Man), the 1973 thriller follows a token Black CIA employee who uses his training to mastermind a guerrilla war against the police and government. It’s a neglected, long-suppressed masterpiece.

More: $7-$9; Oct. 9, 2 p.m.; Harvey B. Gantt Center, 551 S. Tryon St.; ganttcenter.org

CRITICAL JONES

A pair of legendary Charlotte bands are recontextualized as five-piece combo Critical Jones. Guitarist David Nash, drummer Daryl Strickland and vocalist/percussionist Doug Gilstrap comprised Emperor Jones, a band popular on the local 1970s college circuit. Nash subsequently teamed with Chris English Pittman in 1980s Queen City power trio The Critics. The fifth member of Critical Jones, bassist David Riddle, came up playing sessions and gigs with R&B and soul performers including Billy Preston. It’s a heady mix of musical talent playing a series of originals augmented by rock classics run through the band’s eclectic filter.

More: Free; Oct. 7, 7 p.m.; Common Market Oakwold, 4420-A Monroe Road; commonmarketisgood.com/ oakwold

‘THE LAST NIGHT’

Supposedly, the Stendhal Syndrome works this way: You’re exposed to beautiful artwork, which then brings on an array of symptoms including rapid heartbeat, fainting and hallucinations. Our question is, are the symptoms intensified when the breathtaking imagery highlights local artists’ views of the end times? This show features artists such as Arko, Marcus Kiser, and Kamo, and will likely prompt emotions about the last night on Earth. To paraphrase the REM song, “It’s the end of the world as we know it, do you feel fine?” Musical guests include Makeda Iroquois, Terra Grata, Dayy Brown and DJ FLLS Good.

More: $7-$10; Oct. 7, 8 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com

FRI SUN TUE THUR

‘THE SMELL OF MONEY’

Smell that pungent tang in the air? It may be one of North Carolina’s aromatic hog manure lagoons. This documentary scrutinizes how the pork industry impacts rural communities in eastern North Carolina, necessitating families to live with air and drinking water contaminated by pig feces and urine. The filmmakers also challenge the canard that toxic factory farming is needed to provide people with food and well-paying jobs. A panel discussion follows this inspiring story of a community rallying to fight for environmental justice. The event is sponsored by CleanAIRE NC, the Catawba Riverkeeper and Waterkeeper Alliance.

More: Free; Oct. 9, 4 p.m.; Independent Picture House, 4732 Raleigh St.; tinyurl.com/ SmellOfMoneyCLT

THE SOUTHERNIZATION OF AMERICA

Pulitzer Prize-winner Cynthia Tucker and awardwinning author Frye Gaillard read a series of essays from their book The Southernization of America: A Story of Democracy in the Balance. It’s a sobering look at the role the South is playing in shaping America’s current political and cultural landscape. The authors draw on their multiracial perspective and experience as political reporters to examine racial justice egalitarianism and democracy under siege. With an authoritarian Republican party and a criminally compromised judiciary waging war on a free society, this is the most pressing topic of our time. Registration is required.

More: Free; Oct. 11, 6:30 p.m.; Parr Center, 1201 Elizabeth Ave.; tinyurl.com/SouthernizationOfTheUS

CRAIG FERGUSON

The best word to describe Scottish American comedian Craig Ferguson may be “ribald.” Whether he was squashing a Jay Leno-via-ventriloquism fly or discussing the ideal size for donut holes, Ferguson hosted the most anarchic and funniest late-night talk show. The Late Late Show was surreal, semi-improvised and it could only have worked with Ferguson’s singular personality. It also merely scratched the surface of Ferguson’s accomplishments. After leaving the U.S for his native Scotland, the Peabody and Emmy Award-winning actor, producer, director, podcaster and New York Times bestselling author brings his Fancy Rascal tour to Charlotte.

More: $39.50 and up; Oct. 13, 7:30 p.m.; Booth Playhouse, 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

Pg. 8OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
FRI 10/9 10/7 10/9 10/11 10/13 CRITICAL JONES Promotional photo 10/7
CRAIG FERGUSON Photo by Gage Skidmore
10/13
10/7

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY FEST

On any given night, The Milestone will give you the best rock ‘n’ roll bang for your buck by booking a ridiculous amount of good bands on one bill. Now multiply that musical generosity by three days and nights and you have Welcome to the Family Fest.

Close to 30 bands will take the stage on Tuckaseegee Road over three days to play genres including metalcore, progressive alternative and indie rock. We’ve got our ears set for Monochopsis’ coiling guitar-driven take on prog rock and Den of Wolves’ metalcore mix of technical riffs and whiplash time signature changes.

More: $20-$55; Oct. 14–16, The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road; themilestone.club

SAT 10/15

HERE COME THE MUMMIES, SAXSQUATCH, PLEASURE HOUSE

Raunchy, high-energy and above all funky, Here Come the Mummies headline Moo & Brew’s Moo

& Boo Halloween Ball. Taking inspiration from Otis Redding, Sly and the Family Stone, and the Commodores, this rotating crew of Nashville-based musicians keep their identities under wraps with mummy costumes. Even through the Pharaonic funksters have been playing for over 20 years, secrecy about who lurks beneath the bandages is tighter than the seal on King Tut’s tomb. Saxsquatch, also known as Dean Mitchell, blares out rollicking cover tunes on saxophone while rocking a Bigfoot costume.

More: $20; Oct. 15, 6 p.m.; Moo & Brew, 1300 Central Ave.; mooandbrew.com

TUE-SUN

CALEXICO, ADALEA

When this indie multi-instrumentalist combo made a splash on the 1990s rock scene with their second album, The Blacklight (1998), Calexico was pegged as a theatrical alternative act. With an evocative and arid sound that conjured the vast expanse of the American desert, the band weaved jazz, Spaghetti Western soundtracks and Latin music into desert noir soundscapes. As Calexico’s influences grew more integrated and less showy, the band began to play the long game, subsuming inspiration into a mystical and mythic vision tethered to the landscape. Their latest album Mirador (2022) consolidates Calexico as modern folkloric storytellers.

More: $30-$35; Oct. 15, 8 p.m.; Visulite Theatre, 1615 Elizabeth Ave.; visulite.com

‘THE CROWN LIVE!’

A perfect example of that peculiar theatrical subgenre where performers skillfully mimic the missed lines, blown cues and collapsing scenery of a thoroughly incompetent production, this affectionate parody of the Windsor-besotted Netflix series nails that hilarious sense of desperation that marks a very bad play. In The Crown Live! an aspiring starlet shows off her acting chops by playing Britain’s late and endlessly mourned monarch Elizabeth II. She recruits her hapless manager to play everyone in the royal orbit from Winston Churchill to Princess Margaret in a maelstrom of quick-change virtuosity.

More: $34.50 and up; Oct. 18-23.; Stage Door Theater, 155 N. College St.; blumenthalarts.org

Pg. 9OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM SAT
FRI-SUN 10/14 - 10/16 10/15 10/18 - 10/23 ‘THE SMELL OF MONEY’ Photo by Jeff Vanuga 10/9 CALEXICO Promotional photo 10/15 HERE COME THE MUMMIES Photo by Carter Sterling 10/15
QUEEN
ELIZABETH II, ‘THE CROWN LIVE!’ Creative Commons Photo 10/18-10/23

FORWARD MOMENTUM

Falling Through April forges connection on the road

In Falling Through April’s 2021 single “Paralyzed,” Mikaela Salazar’s impassioned vocals depict a tipping point, the moment you realize that you’re trapped in a toxic cul-de-sac and only you can change it:

“Tell me why should I believe in you/ When every kiss leaves an open wound

I’m not waiting up all night/ Happier than ever out of sight out of mind

I don’t want to hear it/ I don’t want to talk about it...”

The accompanying guitars by Jim Siani and Dan Candia are elastic and sinuous, looming like a dark thunderhead, before striking cobra-like with blinding force. A slippery grinding bassline skirts Salazar’s melody and Jerome King’s pummeling drums, undergirding the song with an elastic chainsaw roar. Shunning rock conventions, Salazar eschews delivering her kiss-off/declaration of agency with a piecing scream, rather she drives the point home with a soaring, heartfelt croon.

The result is powerful, melodic and relatable rock, tuneful as a pop gem, harder than a diamond.

“Paralyzed” is arguably Falling Through April’s hardest rocking tune to date, but Candia promises harder, more driving music on the way.

“The next single we’re going to release is really heavy,” Candia says.

Fans can judge for themselves when “Worlds Away” drops on Oct. 7.

The once Charlotte-based band is now a hybrid quartet. Multi-instrumentalists Siani and Candia — both guitarists share bass-playing duties — recently moved to Tampa after over a decade in Charlotte, while Salazar and drummer Jerome King continue to call the Queen City home.

Falling Through April will connect with their current and former hometown when the band plays The Milestone Club on Oct. 12. It’s just one stop on Falling Through April’s current Worlds Away Tour,

which has already taken the band to Louisiana, Texas and the Midwest.

Despite the somewhat anguished and angry tone of “Paralyzed,” accompanied by a video where the band plays in a dungeon-like warehouse surrounded by darting flames, the foursome is quite playful when they chat with Queen City Nerve on a rare day off from touring. Candia even catches me off guard when he volunteers to interview the interviewer. He asks if anyone ever said I sound exactly like Muppets founder Jim Henson.

Regarding soundalikes, King offers that his voice gets compared to Chris Rock’s and Chris Tucker’s.

“I’ve got that typical Black thing going on,” King says.” When I get to talking fast [my voice] goes up.”

Finding the perfect lineup

A transplant from Baltimore, Candia moved to Charlotte in 2009. At the same time, Pennsylvania native Siani also decamped for Charlotte. A pair of Craigslist ads brought Candia, Siani and bassist Dave Piontek together for the first iteration of Falling Through April in 2011. The band subsequently went through series of personnel changes before solidifying into a lineup of Candia, Siani, Piontek and drummer Taylor Foster. That version of the band recorded an independently released debut LP Take Flight in 2012. An EP titled Risks and Rewards followed in 2015.

“Take Flight was us figuring out each other musically,” Candia says of the self-produced LP. “[It was] an experimental album, trying to figure out what we were going to do as a band.”

He says he has no regrets about the fledging effort. “It was where I was in my musical journey at that time.”

Siani professes similar feelings about the project.

“Everything you do in life is about evolution and

growth,” he says.

The band went through the ups and downs of a touring rock band, including a Fourth of July show at now-demolished Charlotte venue The Chop Shop at which drummer Foster was struck by a bullet from nearby celebratory gunfire, and was taken to the hospital for a minor injury.

Then in 2016, the band made what is perhaps the most consequential change of its career.

“The glue that brought it all together is Mikaela,” Candia says. “Jim and I had been writing together for a while at that point. We had discovered what our chemistry was, but having a female vocalist changed the [songwriting] dynamics.”

Salazar says she was born into music, thanks to her musical family.

“I grew up in Sacramento, California,” she says. “My Hispanic family would always pull out that acoustic [guitar] and sing some mariachi.”

Salazar moved to South Carolina in 2012, and started looking for people she considered serious about making music. Yet another Craigslist ad, this one posted by Falling Through April’s then-producer Jon King, brought her to the band’s attention.

“I was really shy, and didn’t make the cut in the beginning,” Salazar says.

Pg. 10 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM MUSIC FEATURE
FALLING THROUGH APRIL COURTESY OF FALLING THROUGH APRIL

MUSIC FEATURE

Fortunately, the band saw potential in Salazar, reconsidered their initial reaction and gave her a shot.

“They helped me get out of my shell and find my inner rock goddess,” Salazar says with a laugh.

Some of her initial awkwardness may have stemmed from singing material she didn’t help write. When she first auditioned, she sang songs from Risks and Rewards and later performed them live.

“It stretched me to work on my voice. The guys were super patient and helped me find my voice and strength behind the mic, [but] it was difficult,” Salazar says. “At last, we [said], ‘Let’s make our own songs.’”

As Salazar joined in on the songwriting, the process of creating Falling Through April’s sound evolved. On “Desperate Measures,” the first single released with Salazar on board, she remembers asking the other members what they were feeling when they crafted the music and lyrics. Then she interpreted the material her way.

“Often [my interpretation] was the same mood [and] vibe they were having while they were writing it,” Salazar says.

The band devised a songwriting formula to start with the chorus and work around it. Soon, the formula was no longer needed. “Nowadays we jump into the studio and do it all at once — everything together,” Salazar says. “It’s so much fun.”

“Mikaela writes a lot from her personal experiences — deep and from her heart,” Candia adds.

“We’re all individuals but we share a similar dream,” Salazar says. “What we get out of [songwriting and playing] is that music is the greatest connection.”

From Zodiac to Big Greg

In 2017, the band decamped to Nashville to record the album Zodiac with producer Jon King. Candia remembers winnowing 54 songs down to 10 that could fit on the album.

“Zodiac was a great album,” Candia says, “[but] Jon was trying to push us in a direction of being more of a pop-rock band.”

The record was well received, but soon after its release, Falling Through April went through another wave of personnel changes.

Bassist Piontek had been discussing leaving for several months. He had just become a father and couldn’t find the right balance between playing in the band and being a parent. In 2018, he left after seven years with Falling Through April.

“We respect his decision, and we all remain good friends,” Candia says. Instead of recruiting a new bassist for the band, Candia and Siani decided to share bass responsibilities in the studio and onstage.

That same year, Foster also left the band. After first relocating to West Memphis, he later moved to Tampa, where he now frequently socializes with Candia and Siani.

In September 2018, Jerome King joined the fold as Falling Through April’s new drummer.

“Jerome is definitely into a heavier style of music,” Candia says. “He keeps pressing us for more driving music.”

“Impact matters,” King says. “That’s not just with music. I’m big on impact on everything that I do.”

Candia says King’s personality and influence has impacted Falling Though April’s writing style and approach to making music.

“The chemistry of the band members is what changes the dynamic of the group,” Candia says. “With each member change, each iteration of what we do, we continue to build.”

The next step in the band’s evolution grew from dissatisfaction with continuing down the popinfluenced direction espoused by producer Jon King.

“We wanted to get back to our roots,” Candia remembers. “Jim and I kept talking about how we loved the music, but it just didn’t feel the way we wanted it to feel.”

The remedy was writing harder, heavier, more rock-based songs, with less pop elements. Despite Salazar’s melodic, soaring and supposedly popfriendly vocals, a harder rocking approach also proved to be the perfect choice for her.

“You could argue her voice is better for pop. It’s grungy, [or] gritty,” Candia says. “But once we got into harder rock, I feel that is where she shines.”

While maintaining their friendship with Jon King, Falling Through April began working with other producers, crafting a cache of harder edged songs. Next the band began releasing a series of singles with accompanying videos, directed by Alex Heider.

“One of the best things our former manager Alex did for us was introducing us to Alex Heider,” Candia says, adding that the band is currently selfmanaged. As the group moved back to its rock roots, they began self-producing during pre-production of songs, then bringing them to Nashville-based producer Kile Odell.

“Kile is in tune with our style, and the chemistry [with him] is good,” Candia says. He believes that the material released after Zodiac is where Falling Through April has matured as a band.

The band’s burgeoning maturity has manifested

in song and video combinations that tackle serious subjects, like the powerful anti-drug abuse polemic “Recover/Relapse.” While the song incorporates an infectious electro–dance sound in places, the video follows an attractive protagonist into a downward spiral of addiction that leads to an early grave.

“Who doesn’t have that in their family or in themselves?” Salazar says, referring to struggles with addiction. “With every song, I usually like to end it with a glimpse of hope, but if you go too far, it’s a dangerous place.”

“I’ve lost some of my best friends to addiction,” Candia says. “It’s a difficult topic, but if we don’t talk about it, who will?”

In 2021, Falling Through April branched out into a collaboration with Raleigh-based rapper Big Greg. In “Poison,” Salazar portrays a woman flitting through a relationship devoid of feeling, viewed from the bottom of a bottle. Candia remembers the band members being aware that they were venturing into uncharted territory with the collaboration.

“We were always open to the idea, but we had never done it before so we were a little nervous,” Candia says. Falling Through April need not have worried. Once Big Greg and the band got into the studio, “Poison” came together in less than 24 hours.

“We started playing a little riff, and added a little

beat,” Candia says. “The next thing you know, Mikaela and Big Greg step into the vocal booth, and boom, ‘Poison’ was knocked out in one take from Big Greg.”

The result is a rumination on lost connections. In its way, the song/video combination is as much a warning as “Recover/Relapse.”

Whether it’s another collaboration or a live show, Siani hopes people who hear Falling Through April’s music experience something that takes them out of their normal day-to-day routines.

“It’s something where they’re interacting with us, being engaged [and] having a meaningful and positive moment,” Siani says.

On a similar note, Candia recalls a touching encounter he had with a friend and fan of the band.

“[He] shared a personal thing with me, and said that we were the reason why he felt so inspired, and positive about his life,” Candia says. “That means the world to me.”

Like her bandmates, Salazar cherishes the communal connection the band has forged with fans and concertgoers.

“We’re all feeling the same song, all singing the same words from the bottom of our hearts,” Salazar says. “That’s why I love sharing our music live.”

Pg. 11 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 5

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Matt Woods & the Natural Disasters, Bob Fleming & the Cambria Iron Co., Wes and the Railroaders, Tiny City (The Milestone)

Lucy Dacus w/ Crooks & Nannies (Neighborhood Theatre)

Tennis Courts w/ Deep Sea Peach Tree, The Coyotes (Snug Harbor)

John Moreland w/ Caroline Spence (Visulite Theatre)

OPEN MIC

Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

NIKI (The Underground)

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 6

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Creux Lies w/ The Mother Superior, Tenderlash (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Voltage Brothers (Middle C Jazz)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Kevin Gates (Bojangles Coliseum)

COLLABORATIVE/EXPERIMENTAL

NITE w/ Solemn Shapes, Quinn Rash, DJ Price (The Milestone)

Protectors of the Endangered Fall Fundraiser Show (Visulite Theatre)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Steve Kimock & Friends (Neighborhood Theatre) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

NC Bluegrass Jam Night (Birdsong Brewing)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Mariami w/ Natalie Carr (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ Chase Brown & Aleeia “Sug”

Bolton Brown (Tommy’s Pub)

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 7

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

The Cactus Blossoms w/ Alexa Rose (Evening Muse)

Noah Vonne w/ Hello Darling (Evening Muse)

Twin Temple (The Underground)

The Skeleton Dance w/ Buried in Roses, Secret Shame, DJ Big Bumi (The Milestone)

Clem Snide & Jill Andrews (Neighborhood Theatre)

JAZZ/BLUES

Billy Cobham (Middle C Jazz)

COLLABORATIVE/EXPERIMENTAL

The Last Night Art Show feat. Makeda Iroquois, Terragrata, Day Brown (Petra’s)

Adam Cope w/ Staffers, Zodiac Lovers (Snug Harbor)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Swift & Styles Dance Party (Amos’ Southend)

Smoakland (SERJ)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Elgar Cello Concerto (Knight Theater)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICA

Kip Moore w/ Boy Named Banjo (Coyote Joe’s)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Carin Leon (Bojangles Coliseum)

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 8

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Trent Thompson w/ Rigometrics (Evening Muse)

True Lilith w/ Hyperspace, Oh! You Pretty Things, The Ruff’tons (The Milestone)

Illiterate Light w/ Wildermiss (Neighborhood Theatre)

Paint Fumes (Petra’s)

Joseph Gallo Band (Primal Brewery)

Surfer Joe w/ Don Telling’s Island Mysteries (Snug Harbor)

Piece of Time (Iron Maiden tribute) (Amos’ Southend)

Hey RICHARD w/ Castle Black, Monochopsis (Tommy’s Pub)

The Dirty Doors (The Doors tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Greg Nice & Smooth B (Crown Station)

The Millenium Tour (Spectrum Center)

JAZZ/BLUES

Julian Vaughn (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICA

Eliot Bronson w/ Dane Page (Evening Muse)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Elgar Cello Concerto (Knight Theater) SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Daniel Austin (Comet Grill)

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 9

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Judah & the Lion (The Fillmore)

Dilworth Hustlas (Tommy’s Pub)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Musicology 101: The Art of the Sample (Stage Door Theater)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Capricio (Neighborhood Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICA

Anna Tivel w/ Lou Hazel (Evening Muse)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

Oli Silk (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

The Harvest Law w/ Blanket Fort, Blake Layman, Twistedbreadtie (The Milestone)

MONDAY, OCTOBER 10

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 11

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

With Confidence w/ Real Friends, The Home Team,

Taylor Acorn (Amos’ Southend)

Turnstile w/ JPEGMAFIA, Snail Mail (The Fillmore) POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Todd Carey w/ Lee DeWyze (Evening Muse) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICA

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

Sunny Sweeney (Neighborhood Theatre)

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Falling Through April w/ Hazen, Dovecage, Komodo (The Milestone)

Automatic w/ Omni (Snug Harbor)

Charlotte Sands w/ John Harvie (Visulite Theatre) POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Yung Bae (The Underground)

Shindig! A ‘50s & ‘60s Dance Night w/ DJ Cory Wigg HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Sabrina Claudio (The Fillmore)

JAZZ/BLUES

Robert Finley (Neighborhood Theatre) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICA

The Southern Gothic Music Club (Evening Muse)

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 13

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Faye w/ Telepathetics, MOA (Petra’s)

Wolf Eyes w/ Abyss Sister (Snug Harbor)

Seven Day Haze w/ Kaska Sun, David Taylor & the Tallboys (Visulite Theatre) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICA

Flat Tire Trio (Comet Grill)

Matt Heckler (Evening Muse)

Arkansauce (Neighborhood Theatre) JAZZ/BLUES

El Lambert & Karen Poole (Middle C Jazz)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Monophonics (The Underground)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Opera Carolina presents Tosca (Belk Theater)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ Chase Brown & Aleeia “Sug” Bolton Brown (Tommy’s Pub)

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 14

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Welcome to the Family Fest Day 1 (The Milestone)

Xbound w/ Out Of Oblivion, Zack Moss (Skylark Social Club)

The Real Dolls w/ Rhinestone Pickup Truck, Hiram (Petra’s)

Junior Astronomers w/ Stagbriar, The Wormholes (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Zo! & Tall Black Guy (Neighborhood Theatre)

JAZZ/BLUES

Keith David’s Jazz Cabaret (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

DOMi & JD BECK (The Underground)

AVNGR w/ Scratch The Surface, VELLE, ANGLR (SERJ) Reflexions w/ DJ Velvetine & Christian Hoefle (Tommy’s Pub)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICA

Tré Burt w/ Young-Chhaylee (Evening Muse)

Dead Horses w/ Andrea von Kampen (Evening Muse)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Itai Kriss and Telavana (Stage Door Theater)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Cosmic Charlie (Grateful Dead tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 15

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Noah Kahan (The Fillmore)

Welcome to the Family Fest Day 2 (The Milestone)

Junior Astronomers w/ Coughing Dove, Late Bloomer (Snug Harbor)

Space Daddy & the Galactic Go-Go’s w/ Squirt Vile, T.C. Costello (Tommy’s Pub)

JAZZ/BLUES

Keith David’s Jazz Cabaret (Middle C Jazz) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICA

Cole Swindell (Coyote Joe’s)

Courtney Patton (Evening Muse)

Calexico w/ Ada Lea (Visulite Theatre)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Paul Lover (Comet Grill)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Opera Carolina presents Tosca (Belk Theater)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

BAYNK (The Underground)

Annie DiRusso (Neighborhood Theatre)

DJ Icey (SERJ)

Pg. 12 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Simon SMTHNG w/ AXNT, Jah-Monte, Ultra Greatsword (Petra’s)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Itai Kriss and Telavana (Stage Door Theater)

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 16

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Welcome to the Family Fest Day 3 (The Milestone)

Nobodi Important (Tommy’s Pub)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

FEID (The Underground)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Dogs in a Pile w/ The Kind Thieves (Visulite Theatre)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Opera Carolina presents Tosca (Belk Theater)

MONDAY, OCTOBER 17

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Sons of the East w/ Diana DeMuth (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Fletcher (The Fillmore)

BabyJake (Neighbohood Theatre)

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 18

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Tin Can Collective w/ Swae, Aurora’s Hope (The Milestone)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Joji (The Fillmore)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICA

Mike and the Moonpies w/ Vandoliers (Amos’ Southend)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

KMFDM feat. Chant (Neighborhood Theatre)

Pg. 13 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM

WARM

WELCOME

Cold Hearted Gelato arrives in a rapidly changing Plaza Midwood

The air is crisp as the streetlights turn on in the Plaza Midwood neighborhood. Twilight runs across the horizon as intrigue strikes a solemn, local traveler.

They turn right onto The Plaza from walking along Central Avenue, they peer into a small shop dimly lit by ceiling lights. The long, curved-white countertop illuminates the minimalistic decor and makes the gelato display shine.

There are only a couple people inside, as the hour is late. The buzzing of fast cars turns into subtle hums created by indoor conversations. The shop’s subtle glow falls onto a neighborhood that’s fallen asleep, but eager to wake.

This gourmet gelato shop locally sources its ingredients and rotates its flavors on a regular basis. The scoops of frozen dessert are served in a bowl or house-made brown butter waffle cones.

Cold Hearted Gelato is a female-owned, chefdriven shop opened by Elinn Hesse on Aug. 20. The shop is located in Midwood Corners, in the heart of a neighborhood that has lost many such businesses in recent years, leading some longtime residents to believe it is losing its spirit.

Hesse thinks otherwise, and she’s betting on it with Cold Hearted Gelato.

Replacing Rita’s

Before Cold Hearted Gelato, there was Rita’s Italian Ice.

Rita’s closed its doors in October 2020. A sign posted on the door noted, “It is with a heavy heart that we have CLOSED our Plaza Midwood location permanently because we were unable to come to an agreement with our new landlord.”

It was one of multiple businesses in the shopping center to be forced out, including popular

indie bookstore Book Buyers, which moved to Eastway Crossing early in 2022.

Rita’s had stood in the spot for 10 years, but failed to overcome the rising rent and redevelopment of the neighborhood, as has been the case with many other businesses along the Central Avenue corridor

including Dairy Queen, Reggae Central, Elizabeth Billiards, and most recently Soul Gastrolounge.

Eastern Federal, a real estate and private equity corporation, bought the 23,000-square-foot Midwood Corners property for $8.5 million in early 2020, according to Mecklenbrug County property records.

In an article by Charlotte Axios, Eastern Federal EVP and COO Josh Page said, “We felt that owning Midwood Corners in Plaza Midwood was a perfect addition to our existing portfolio of quality Charlotte infill retail in neighborhoods like Myers Park, Eastover, Elizabeth and South End.”

While some of the new tenants in the neighborhood are chains that can afford the rising rent, like Hesse’s new neighbor Dave’s Hot Chicken, Cold Hearted Gelato is one of the rare occurrences in which a locally owned business has replaced a chain.

“I was so happy when I saw this location and was like, ‘I want to look at that one.’ I love this area,” Hesse said. “Even when we were in construction, I would always sit out here and do my work because I would just see the neighborhood walk by and they

would wave at me. People were excited about this location and the spot, and I’m excited to grow my business from Plaza.”

Hesse has strong hopes for the future of her business, and one of her priorities is to cultivate a community with her customers and the neighborhood.

She’s sees the changes that Charlotte has gone through, but believes the sense of community that Plaza Midwood is known to have remains strong.

After originally moving to South End from New York five years ago, Hesse quickly decided that area wasn’t for her and moved north of Uptown to Villa Heights.

“I think Charlotte, since I moved down, has changed so much. Plaza is going to be changing, but it’s going to be for the good,” she said. “Plaza is very community-based and I love that. If anything, it’s going to get stronger because a lot of small businesses want to open up here. Even with big developments coming in, it still has a very community-based feel to it.”

Pg. 14 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
FOOD & DRINK FEATURE
A
PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN COLD HEARTED GELATO OWNER ELINN HESSE MAKES A WAFFLE CONE AT HER NEW PLAZA MIDWOOD SHOP.

FOOD

Building a base

Hesse understands her gelatos aren’t for everyone, as some of her flavors — some examples since her opening have included horchata chai tea, apple cider ginger sorbet, and Old Bay hot honey, for

example — can be a bit niche.

Hesse knows Two Scoops Creamery has much of the ice cream market in the neighborhood cornered since Dairy Queen left, but she’s betting there’s plenty of room for innovative gelato flavors.

“I tried to come in and do something a little different,” Hesse said. “I’ve already started picking

up regulars that are excited when I announce a new flavor,” she gleaned.

Hesse hopes to work with other local businesses, partnering with restaurants to serve her gelato.

“I worked in restaurants for 15 years, so leaving it has been kind of hard for me. It’s definitely something I’m going to miss,” she said. “I want to get connections with all of the chefs that really want to make or have custom gelatos, sorbet ice cream, whatever for their menus. That realm is growing in Charlotte, and I want to be part of it.”

Before moving to Charlotte, Hesse lived in New York City staging with Michelin-star restaurants.

“I worked in New York for about three or four years. I worked at a one-star Michelin [restaurant] called Betony. Then I’ve worked at a few other ones, some of them just staging because I was there. Why not get as much experience as possible?”

She describes staging, the restaurant industry’s version of interning or apprenticing, as a working interview — free labor, but helpful for young chefs to get into fine-dining spots to see what’s happening. She attributes a lot of her current practices to what she learned through staging — things as simple as towel-folding techniques or cutting tape on labels rather than tearing it.

“[Betony] was my first experience at that finedining level that affects me to this day. Like, how I fold my kitchen towels, even in the gelato shop, is the same way because that’s how it was burnt into me. It’s just those little things that really make Michelin, Michelin,” explained Hesse.

Hesse is used to working back of house as the former head chef at Charlotte restaurants Bardo and Counter-, but said opening her own business and being at the forefront of the process has been different and fun.

As for how the community has responded in Cold Hearted Gelato’s first month-plus of business, Hesse said the initial reaction has mostly been surprise.

“I think at first they were kind of shocked. I think they were expecting what was here before, which was Rita’s. I think they were expecting a really traditional gelato shop. I think I’ve surprised them,” Hesse said.

You can visit Elinn Hesse and the Cold Hearted Gelato crew at 1308 The Plaza on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday from 1 p.m.-10 p.m., and Friday-Sunday from 11 a.m.-11 p.m.

Pg. 15 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
& DRINK FEATURE
INFO@QCNERVE.COMCOLD HEARTED GELATO OFFERS A RANGE OF UNIQUE FLAVORS.
PHOTO
BY
GRANT BALDWIN

THE FAMILY SPIRIT

Seven Jars Distillery’s bootlegging roots still drive the business

With bars and breweries on every corner of Charlotte today, it’s easy to forget that a century ago, the city was in the midst of Prohibition. The state of North Carolina was following a nationwide constitutional ban on the production, importation, transportation and sale of alcoholic beverages, though moonshiners and bootleggers made sure booze still found its way in.

“Runners” delivered illegal liquor in highlymodified Ford Model A cars, often winding through city streets and country roads with police or federal agents in hot pursuit. They were sharp drivers whose souped-up cars laid the ground for auto racing and eventually NASCAR.

Among those involved in Charlotte’s scene was notorious bootlegger Frank Ratcliffe, described as a handsome man with a quick smile who got his start running liquor with his brothers for their father.

Today, his family carries on his legacy, though legally, through their alcohol production business, Seven Jars Distillery, in northwest Charlotte.

Open since 2014, Seven Jars makes and sells bourbon, vodka, whiskey and rum using secret recipes and knowledge passed down by Ratcliffe. The company’s spirits, along with beer and wine made by the Seven Jars team, are available at the distillery on Brookshire Boulevard, in local ABC stores, online and in some grocery stores.

Though rooted in an old family secret, the story behind Seven Jars Distillery is more than a family’s nod to their former patriarch’s illicit dealings — it’s a tale of relatively unknown Charlotte history.

Dry but still thirsty

When the 18th Amendment enacting prohibition was repealed in 1933, major distilleries across the country reopened and began ramping up production.

However, North Carolina remained a dry state, meaning alcohol was still illegal.

As a result, demand for Frank Ratcliffe’s liquor delivery services skyrocketed, according to Scott McClure, Ratcliffe’s son-in-law and head distiller

at Seven Jars. Ratcliffe purchased his inventory in states like Florida, New York and Connecticut, then transported it to Charlotte in disguised shipments on large trucks.

Once in Charlotte, it was delivered to “liquor houses” in modified Model A Fords.

“It was completely legal to buy liquor in Florida,” McClure said. “The illegal part was putting it in the back of a truck, surrounding the truck with oranges, and then bringing it back to Charlotte, North Carolina.”

By 1937, state government had established an Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) system to regulate the manufacture, distribution and sale of alcohol,

effectively ending Prohibition in North Carolina.

State-controlled ABC stores opened and Ratcliffe stopped his delivery business to open a nightclub on West 6th Street in Uptown, where Discovery Place is today.

Initially known as the Friendly City Club but later renamed The Flamingo Club, it was a fixture of Charlotte nightlife that featured live entertainment and a casino on the second floor. For Ratcliffe, it served as a networking hub for his various side hustles.

“When Frank ran the club downstairs, he didn’t necessarily care whether or not he made money in the club, because he had all these other businesses,” McClure said. “And he needed the judges and the lawyers and the politicians to do business with him in other areas.”

It was there that Ratcliffe fell in love with a young singer named Velma Corey, whom he eventually married.

“The mob and the money and gambling and all that stuff is fun to talk about, but the real story here was the love affair between Frank and Velma,” McClure said.

As the legend goes, Ratcliffe told Velma he didn’t

want her singing in the clubs anymore. In response, Velma told Ratcliffe to clean up his act — no more “cat-tailing around” or illegal gambling — so they could raise a family.

“And from that point on, Frank got rid of all of his illegal friends, he got out of all the illegal businesses and started operating by the rule of the law, because he loved that woman,” McClure said.

Finding seven jars

Frank and Velma Ratcliffe went on to have three children — Del, Velda and Franiece — and lived a quiet, law-abiding life.

Their main family business was a golf course that Ratcliffe built along Mallard Creek, known as Paradise Valley Golf Course, which the family still owns and operates today as a three-par chip-’n’putt in University City.

Ratcliffe died in 1977, but not before leaving a legacy buried on the golf course for his children to find. A few years later, Velma told Del that they needed to find it, but they had to be careful.

“Frank had had some pretty unsavory characters in his life and Velma didn’t want the word to get out that they were trying to dig up his secrets because

Pg. 16 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM FOOD & DRINK FEATURE
PHOTO BY KARIE SIMMONS HEAD DISTILLER SCOTT MCCLURE ADMIRES HIS INVENTORY.

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

those people would have started coming back around,” McClure said. “So she would only let Del go out and look for it late at night.”

Del dug where his mother told him — four bricks in and three steps out from the corner of the family barbeque — but she quickly became nervous so they stopped. They’d look in different places over the next few years, but never find anything.

In 1984, two weeks before the family closed on selling part of the golf course property, Del decided

Opening the distillery

Seeing the opportunity to share their family’s unique story and role in Charlotte bootlegging history, Velma’s children convinced her to get a distillery licensed and operating in Mecklenburg County.

Unfortunately, she never saw it come to fruition.

Velma died in August 2013; Seven Jars Distillery opened the following year.

Today, Del concentrates on the family’s golf courses (they operate 22 and own five in the Carolinas) and handles marketing for the distillery.

McClure’s wife, Velda, does the accounting while

partnership with the Ava Gardner Trust and Legacy Talent and Entertainment.

The apple pie whiskey is another customer favorite and the pickle-flavored vodka makes one hell of a bloody mary, McClure said.

Most of the liquor production takes place between October and May, when temperatures are cooler. The summer is spent bottling, labeling and packaging.

“When the outdoor temperature gets above 75 degrees, the fermentation doesn’t happen the way it’s supposed to,” McClure said. “You actually end up killing off the yeast.”

rule later changed to three bottles, then five bottles a year later. As of September 2021, the distillery is allowed to sell unlimited bottles to customers.

“Each year, the rules have gotten better, but we’re a long way away,” McClure said. “It’s my personal opinion that the system, the way it’s set up today, is very unfair to North Carolina distilleries because the bigger companies just have so much play.”

There are more laws for distilleries today than in Frank Ratcliffe’s day — driving around the streets of Charlotte in loaded-down, souped-up Model A Fords — and even more than when his father was in the

he had to find what his father had left, he just needed to dig a little deeper.

He returned to the spot near the barbeque and used heavy equipment to go deep into the soil. This time, he unearthed seven mason jars covered in aluminum foil and stuffed with recipes from old moonshiners.

Those recipes would eventually become the base formula for the products made today at Seven Jars Distillery. By putting them to use, Frank’s hope that small craft distillery businesses would one day be allowed to operate legally in North Carolina came to pass.

Franiece is a legal assistant for a firm in the University City area.

As a nod to Frank’s seven jars, the distillery offers seven spirits: Ava Gardner bourbon whiskey (named after the famous actress), apple pie whiskey, straight bourbon whiskey, rye whiskey, rum, vodka and pickleback vodka.

They also make small batches of select beers and over a dozen wines that are sold on site, at Harris Teeter locations and in some local convenience stores and restaurants.

McClure said the most popular product is the straight bourbon, followed by the Ava Gardner bourbon, which is shipped globally and made in

In addition to head distiller, McClure also handles all the sales for Seven Jars. He thinks the rules small distillers have to follow today would have driven his father-in-law crazy.

When Seven Jars first opened in 2014, he explained, they weren’t allowed to sell their own product on site — only in the ABC stores.

In order to even serve samples to visitors in the distillery’s tasting room, McClure had to ship his alcohol to Raleigh, wait for it to arrive at a local ABC store then buy it himself.

The next year, the state ABC commission allowed Seven Jars to sell one bottle per person per year. The

bootlegging business before him.

For Ratcliffe’s children, Seven Jars Distillery is more of a business of their heritage than necessarily of making a profit, and an opportunity to share a little unknown piece of Charlotte history.

“Obviously, we’re trying to do it legally and it’s fun and we enjoy it,” McClure said. “But every once in a while, we’ll look around and something stupid will be happening that we’re having to jump through hoops for and we’ll just look to each other and say, ‘Granddaddy might of had the right idea.’”

Pg. 17 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
KSIMMONS@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY KARIE SIMMONS SEVEN JARS DISTILLERY MAKES WINE, BEER, BOURBON, WHISKEY, VODKA AND RUM.
Pg. 18 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM

TRIVIA

1. TELEVISION: Which TV cartoon show featured a Great Dane as part of the mystery-solving team?

2. MOVIES: Which 1970s movie’s tagline is, “You’ll never go in the water again”?

3. HISTORY: What was the nickname for American soldiers in WWI?

4. MEDICAL TERMS: What is dysphonia?

5. U.S. PRESIDENTS: How many state capitals are named after U.S. presidents?

6. ANATOMY: What part of the brain controls language and hearing?

7. PSYCHOLOGY: What is the fear represented in metathesiophobia?

8. GEOGRAPHY: How many countries are in the United Kingdom?

9. FOOD & DRINK: What are the two main ingredients in a meringue?

10. U.S. STATES: Which state is home to General Sherman, a sequoia more than 2,000 years old?

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.

Pg. 19 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM CROSSWORD SUDOKU
TEST
FILL IT UP
©2022 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved. ©2022 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved. LIFESTYLE PUZZLES WWW.CANVASTATTOOS.COM (980) 299-2588 3012 N. DAVIDSON STREET 2918 N. DAVIDSON STREET CHARLOTTE, NC 28205 VOTED BEST TATTOO SHOP 2019 2020 2021

THE SEEKER

SO MUCH FOR THE EMBERGLOW

How Lizzo saved me from an ill-fated camping trip

Short on gas money but still need a getaway? Luckily, in the great state of North Carolina you needn’t look too far to find an affordable adventure.

Based on recent experience, I recommend exploring your camping options at Emberglow Outdoor Resort. Emberglow is conveniently located near Lake Lure, less than a two-hour drive from Charlotte. So pack your goodies (friends, significant other, dogs, Ranch Water), and head west.

We are arrived at the time of year in which the weather gods and goddesses usually hold you and your vacation plans in their favor (save for an early fall hurricane here and there). It’s officially autumn, which means the temperature in North Carolina is almost dropping. So max your relax in a vintage camper, treehouse, glamping pods, or a yurt. There are even RV hookup sites and, yes, tent sites for you OG campers.

But first, let me back up a few steps, so you can better understand my path to Emberglow. I found myself

there through an invitation that I am now grateful for. After an intention-setting autumnal equinox yoga and meditation session, I was steadfast in entering the fall season “grounded and with grace.”

Friends, if you need to let go of any excess emotional baggage that’s been weighing on you, this is the time of year to reflect on what is no longer serving you and LET THAT SHIT GO!

During the pandemic, I began convening with my yogi “pod” to practice on a different friend’s patio each month. During our most recent yoga and meditation session, on the day when summer fades to fall, the instructor invited our pod to envision a tree of life, then imagine what is hindering its growth. Or, to imagine if the fruits that weren’t harvested fell to the ground. What do they represent?

The words that arose for me this season were social anxiety.

I then giggled alone (and awkwardly) on my mat because one thought fed another. I recalled the “Lizzo

Has Writer’s Block” skit from the Please Don’t Destroy team at Saturday Night Live, in which Lizzo sought the group’s expertise to help her write a new song, and fast, so she didn’t get murdered by Andrew Dismukes. One of their tactics was a call-and-response effort — to no avail.

To start, she said, “I woke up feeling..” to which they responded, “Anxious!”

No, no, no … Lizzo doesn’t write anxiety bangers, y’all. She writes about self-love and empowerment, characteristics I affirmed to incorporate into my fall manifestation. I imagined my years-too-long social anxiety as the stumbling block on the way to my success. I imagined it as the poison that keeps the limbs on my tree of life from reaching their widest radius.

So when I was invited to Emberglow for a friend’s birthday bash, I, of course, accepted. What better setting to conjure the healing properties of Mother Nature and revel in her crisp, autumnal majesty?

So westward I ventured to enjoy some camping and the opportunity to reconnect with friends (and myself) in an al fresco fashion (away from screens). We enjoyed the outdoor pool and community fire pit — for one day at least until a seasonal deluge redirected us. I guess the weather gods and goddesses disapproved of our travel plans after all.

We downloaded some Netflix movies to our iPad in case of more inclement weather. Still, after some cogitation, we tucked tail and drove home. Honestly, I would rather watch movies on the comfort of my own couch than in the back of a leaky van. So no magical outdoor meditation experiences

were in store for me after all *sigh.*

Silver lining: Lizzo had my back the whole drive home.

Because intention-setting shows up differently for each of us, I cannot tell you where to place your focus. I can only recommend what works for me: a healthy mix of daily yoga, meditation when I can squeeze it in, and a lot of Lizzo played loudly with certain songs on repeat (or rewatch Dirty Dancing for the umpteenth time, as it’s a movie that Lake Lure is famous for).

My other suggested activities while you’re way out west are walking the Lake Lure Flowering Bridge and hiking Chimney Rock.

By the way, did you know there is an old town named Buffalo at the bottom of Lake Lure? Apparently, the orts of an 1800s Gold Rush town still lie 50 feet beneath the surface. Creepy.

So seek your next outdoor adventure in the Blue Ridge foothills of western North Carolina, aka WNC (which covers the mountainous areas west of Charlotte to the Tennessee state line, up to the Virginia border, and down to South Carolina) without the harsh expense of a plane ticket or breaking the bank on gas.

And an additional note to campers: You must complete your booking online for Emberglow beforehand. Sites fill up quickly, so book as soon as possible if you plan to travel with a group. And don’t forget to check the forecast!

Pg. 20 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
LIFESTYLE COLUMN
INFO@QCNERVE.COM

HOROSCOPE

OCTOBER 5 - 11 OCTOBER 12 - 18

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You might not like the sudden setback in your plans. But keep that headstrong Aries temperament in check and wait for explanations. Things will begin to clear up by week’s end.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Enjoy the respite from your recent hectic schedule, but be ready to plunge into a new round of social activities. A new contact holds much potential for the future.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A trusted colleague has news that could change your perception of a current workplace situation. What had seemed unfair might prove to be highly favorable after all.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) You still need to watch what you say and how you say it. What you assert as honesty, others might perceive as Crabbiness. Be patient. This difficult period clears up by the weekend.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Your Royalness needs some time away from the limelight to catch up on things, whether it’s tidying up your desk or making those calls you’ve put off. You’re back in the center of things by the weekend.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Honesty is the best policy, of course. But, you’ll do better at achieving your goals if you can be less aggressive and more circumspect in how you phrase your comments.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a talent for getting things done. You also have a gift for bringing people together in both personal and professional relationships.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Your ability to maintain your balance in confusing situations continues to work for you. Stay on the steady course, one step at a time. The weekend shows improvement.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Your indecisiveness could simply be your keen Scorpian sense warning you to be wary of making a commitment. Take this time to do a more thorough investigation.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Good news: New information comes your way to help you make a more informed decision on how to deal with the opportunity that has opened up for you.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) This is a good time to reinforce your self-confidence by acknowledging your own good qualities. A lull in your social life ends by the weekend. Have fun.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) It’s a good time to let those recently pent-up emotions flow more freely. Why not start by letting the people you care for know how you really feel about them?

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Resist offers, no matter how well-intentioned, to help with a personal decision. Only you know what must be done, and you have the emotional strength to follow through.

PUZZLE ANSWERS

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Your ideas earn the respect of your colleagues. But, you’ll have to present some hard facts and figures if you hope to persuade those who make the big decisions to support you.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Keep those bright Bull’s eyes focused on the project at hand. Avoid distractions. There’ll be lots of time for fun and games later. Expect to get welcome news this weekend.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You soon might have to decide about moving a relationship from its current status to another level. Don’t let anyone influence your decision. It must be yours and yours alone.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) You finally can get off that emotional roller coaster and get back to focusing on your goals without interruptions through the rest of the week. A nice change is due by the weekend.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Trying to make an impression on some people runs into a bit of a snag at first, but it all works out. An old and almost forgotten personal matter once again needs attention.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A rise in your energy level helps you finish an especially demanding task. Take some time now to spend with family and friends before starting a new project.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a talent for being able to perceive possibilities where others only see problems.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) This is a good time to re-establish contact with trusted former associates who might be able to offer good advice regarding that career change you’ve been contemplating.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Your resourcefulness combined with a calm, cool approach help you work your way out of a knotty situation, and avoid a potentially serious misunderstanding.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) A calm, quiet period allows you to recharge your energies. But, you’ll soon be ready to saddle up and gallop off in pursuit of your goals.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Family matters need your attention. Check things out carefully. There still might be unresolved tensions that could hinder your efforts to repair damaged relationships.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) It’s a good time to take a stand and show as much passion on your own behalf as you do when arguing for the rights of others. You might be happily surprised by the reaction.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You bring sense and sensitivity to a confusing situation. Things soon settle down, leaving you free to enjoy a weekend of fun and relaxation with friends and family.

California.

Eggwhitesandsugar.

Four:England,Scotland,Wales andNorthernIreland

Fearofchange

Temporallobe.

Four(Jackson,Mississippi;

Havingahoarseorraspy voice.

Doughboys.

2.“Jaws.”

1.“Scooby-Doo,WhereAre You?”

Lincoln,Nebraska,Madison, Wisconsin,andJeffersonCity, Missouri).

Pg. 21 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
2022 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.LIFESTYLE TriviaAnswers
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

SAVAGE LOVE DONE WRONG

I’m a gay Black man in my early 30s. When I was a teen, I was called fat and ugly by family and friends. I should also point out that I was in an allwhite community with white parents. When I was coming to terms with my sexuality as a teenager, I began working out. I built a lot of muscle and have kept it on for the past 17 years. Working out really helps with my anxiety issues. I get a lot of attention from guys and I’m frequently told how good looking I am. I used to revel in this because I thought I was ugly. But what I thought would bring me happiness really hasn’t. I’ve wanted to have a monogamous romantic relationship with someone where we both love and respect each other. It hasn’t happened. I’ve gone out on dates with guys who shoved their hands down my pants in public. One time when a guy asked for my number in Target, he began to fondle my nipple when I was putting it in his phone. I’ve been sexually harassed at work and pressured to have sex after saying no.

I’ve looked to some older, wiser friends and mentors for support about some of these experiences, but I am often told that I should “enjoy the attention while I’m young” or that I should expect this behavior because of how my body looks and how I dress. Some of my friends have told me not to take things so personally and that some guys just see me as their gay Black fantasy come to life. Is this really what I have to look forward to in my romantic journey? Parts of me wonder if some of my challenges are about my Blackness. I know this is not always the case, and honestly there’s a feeling of shame to even bring this up as if I’m using my race as an excuse for my problems. But my experiences have been so different from my white friends and mentors that I’m unsure. I’m seeing a therapist who is a person of color who has been helping me with my Blackness and sexuality. But my big question for you is this: Am I doing something wrong? Or am I navigating the same challenges other queer people of color face?

ALL AROUND CONFUSED

Your therapist is both better qualified and in a better position to help you parse the challenges imposed on you as a queer person of color, your experiences growing up, and the challenges you may be imposing on yourself. But I will say this: There’s nothing shameful about wondering whether your Blackness — along with other people’s racism, your own internalized anti-Blackness, and other forces beyond

your control — may be interfering with your happiness.

But I will say this: You deserved better from your family and friends growing up; you deserve better from your friends, mentors, romantic partners, sex partners, and strangers at Target now. You should be able to wear what you want without guys touching you without your consent. No one should be pressuring you to have sex you didn’t explicitly say yes to and/or have already explicitly said no to. If being someone else’s “gay Black fantasy come to life” was something you enjoyed doing that would be one thing, but you shouldn’t be consigned to that role by strangers, AAC, and it troubles me that your friends think you should have to tolerate it, much less embrace it.

As for whether you’re doing something wrong…

There are guys out there who’ve done everything right and still haven’t managed to find a relationship they want. Remember, AAC, it’s not as simple as finding a guy who wants the same relationship model you do. You have to find someone who wants what you want and whom you’re sexually compatible with. It should go without saying that sexual compatibility is hugely important in sexually exclusive relationships, but I’m saying it because people enter into sexually exclusive relationships with people they don’t click with sexually all the fucking time. (Seriously, some weeks it’s half the mail.) But sexual compatibility by itself isn’t enough. You also have to find someone whose career, life and family goals align with your own. And at some point, AAC, you will have to compromise. You may find a guy who wants monogamy but also other things that you do not (kids? poodles? tit rings?). Or you may find a guy you click with sexually, emotionally and socially but who doesn’t want monogamy or won’t want it forever. You may not want it forever. To make a relationship work over the short term, you will have to negotiate and make compromises. To make one work over the long term, you will have to renegotiate and revisit those compromises.

Two final things…First, I’d like to invite gay or queer Black readers to jump into the comments thread and share your experiences and insights with AAC. And if you’ve never seen the film Tongues Untied, AAC, you might want to sit down to watch it. Marlon T. Rigg’s 1989 documentary about what it means to be Black and gay in our culture is just as relevant now as it was 30 years ago. Everyone should watch it.

Go to Savage.Love to read the full column; send questions to questions@savagelove.net; listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast; follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage.

Best

Queen City

Pg. 22 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM
LIFESTYLE COLUMN
FINAL VOTING NOW THRU OCTOBER 31 bit.ly/qcnbin22final 2022 BIN awards will feature over 500 winners in: Food & Drink City Life Arts & Entertainment Consumer Culture Nightlife e
of the
Pg. 23 OCTOBER 5OCTOBER 18, 2022QCNERVE.COM

Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.