Queen City Nerve - July 12, 2023

RYAN PITKIN rpitkin@qcnerve.com DIGITAL EDITOR KARIE SIMMONS ksimmons@qcnerve.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS

NEWS & OPINION

4 A Pivotal Point by Ryan Pitkin Catawba Indian Nation prepares for critical July elections

ARTS & CULTURE

7 Queen City’s Renaissance by Karie Simmons

A Guide to Black Pride 2023

8 Rescue the Nipple by Annie Keough Haylo Healing Arts Lounge offers closure, new beginnings with areola tattooing

10 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks

MUSIC

12 The Brave One by Pat Moran

Singer-songwriter Liza Ortiz weaves a solo spell

14 Soundwave

FOOD & DRINK

16 Summer Vibes by Dezanii Lewis

A dozen Caribbean takeout spots to check out in the hot season

LIFESTYLE

18 Puzzles

20 The Seeker by Katie Grant

21 Horoscope

22 Savage Love

Thanks to our contributors: Grant Baldwin, Katie Grant, Annie Keough, Dezanii Lewis, Claudio Ortiz, Lara Denton, Daniel Coston, Emilio Madrid, Parick Hamberg, and Dan Savage.

A PIVOTAL POINT

Catawba Indian Nation prepares for critical July elections

BY RYAN PITKIN

When I ask Jason Harris what he’s most proud of from his 20 years of on-and-off involvement with the Catawba Indian Nation’s Executive Committee, he points out the window.

Sitting in a chair at the round table within the Longhouse, a building on the tribe’s reservation in South Carolina where the tribal government handles day-to-day operations, just one building could be seen across the parking lot, where kids played in a bounce house. But his sweeping arm gesture made it clear he was referring to the 700acre reservation located along the tribe’s namesake river in York County.

“Looking back, as you drive in and you see all the buildings that we have now, you didn’t see that,” he responds. “All you would see is this; you would just see the Longhouse building. I think when I first came into office, October 2004, we thought we knew what was going on, and we really didn’t know.”

Currently the assistant chief serving under Chief William Harris, Jason has sat in every available seat on the Executive Committee — from committee member to secretary/treasurer to assistant chief. Twice during those two decades he has lost election campaigns to become chief of the Catawba Nation, though he served for two years in an interim role when former Chief Brian Harris, Jason’s cousin, resigned in 2013 halfway through his term. Jason then lost his second campaign for chief in 2015.

Now as Jason prepares to face his cousin in a third try for the chief position, he says his experience in helping lower the massive debt the tribe faced in the early aughts and his later work to open a casino under the tribe’s control proves he’s ready for the top leadership position within Catawba Nation.

“I’ve been the backup quarterback. I’m ready to start leading the team,” he tells me. “This is what I do. I live this.”

Yet some tribal citizens see Jason as representative of a status quo in leadership that has obfuscated records and courted controversy at a time when the tribe is at the precipice of an economic windfall.

Supporters of Brian Harris say a new start is needed after recent controversies involving a lack of transparency from tribal government and a public split between the tribe and the company it had partnered with to help operate Two Kings Casino in Kings Mountain.

Catawba Nation parted ways with Sky Boat in early 2023. Along with its subsidiary companies, all controlled by Greenville businessman Wallace Cheves, the company was set to develop and manage the casino, providing slot machines and leasing the casino’s parking lot.

After originally approving the partnership, the tribe’s General Council, which includes any tribal

citizen 18 years old or older, voted to dissolve it following a National Indian Gaming Commission (NIGC) report that questioned how the tribe allowed the Greenville company to have so much control over the casino’s management. The NIGC voiced concerns that the tribe had moved forward with the partnership prematurely, ignoring regulatory approvals meant to ensure the tribe is the primary beneficiary of gaming operations.

Some also blame Jason and his supporters for a rise in derision and division during the current election cycle, which has seen allegations of harassment and reports of physical confrontations leading to at least one police report, with tensions playing out over social media.

While Brian Harris did not respond to multiple requests for an interview for this story, Jason tells Queen City Nerve that he has learned from each of the above-mentioned incidents and controversies and wants a chance to implement his own form of leadership.

And if the results of this election, scheduled for July 27, go the way of his previous two campaigns for the chief position, it will likely be his last attempt.

“If the tribe chooses to keep me with the

resources I’ve got, I’m going to do the very best that I can for them in that four years. I’m going to give them everything I got to keep winning like we have been,” he says.

“And if it’s time to call it an end, I’ll take my resources and I’ll go probably to the federal government,” he continues, adding that he’s had multiple job offerings to do just that.

“I chose to stay because I knew in my gut that we were going to have what we’ve got today … I’m glad that I stayed here in my community and can see what we’ve got now. And now I just want to finish it.”

A pivotal moment for the Catawba Nation

Alex Osborn is a visual artist who grew up on the Catawba Indian Nation reservation. He was let go from his position in the Longhouse as part of a downsizing of the tribe’s communications department in 2022.

Speaking to Queen City Nerve as a neutral observer, Osborn says he sees more clearly now as an outsider why so many tribal citizens feel cut off from what’s happening in tribal government.

Issues involving transparency have come to the forefront as the tribe has faced a pivotal moment in its history; the opening of Two Kings Casino has brought the implementation of “per-cap” payouts to residents based on money the facility brings in. The first such payments in the tribe’s history.

The payouts began in December 2022, with a second one arriving in June 2023. The payments were around $2,500 each, according to a tribal citizen who didn’t want to be named in this story.

The per-cap payouts are calculated based on a Revenue Allocation Plan approved by general Council at its January 2022 meeting. The tribe holds two meetings of the General Council each year, during which major issues within the tribe are voted on, while the Executive Committee is entrusted with handling day-to-day decisions in between those meetings.

In its current form, the RAP places revenue from Two Kings Casino into four buckets: 40% to percap payments, 20% to tribal government services, 20% to economic development, and 20% to capital reserves.

As we near the July election, some in the tribe have called for larger per-cap payments while others have simply said there hasn’t been enough transparency around how much revenue has been brought in by the casino since it opened in July 2021.

There are also concerns about other deals being

JASON HARRIS

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK

made by the Executive Committee to bring on new partners after the split with Sky Boat, some without General Council approval.

“I think tribal members consider themselves shareholders in our tribal businesses,” wrote Brian Harris on his public Facebook campaign page. “I also think it has been necessary (in the past) for the General Council to approve the process for creating tribal businesses and did so with certain expectations.

“I think tribal members are entitled to much more information than we have been provided,” Brian continued. “However, I want to give the Executive Committee the opportunity to meet those expectations. Let’s hope they will provide relevant information on all the new deals that were created to remove Sky Boat.”

One member who works in the Longhouse, speaking on condition of anonymity so as to provide context without concern for their job, explained the difficult dynamic between ceding too much power to the Executive Committee and ensuring that the tribe can operate on a day-to-day basis when General Council only meets every six months.

“I think there’s just a lack of trust where people feel like the General Council should be making a lot of the decisions that the Executive Committee is making,” the tribal citizen told Queen City Nerve. “And I feel like it’s really because there’s not clear differentiation between the roles of those two separate entities in our Constitution.

“So I understand some of the grievances that tribal members have, feeling like these decisions are being made without them in the room,” they continued. “But I also understand that if you give people power to use it in circumstances where you’re not in session that they’re going to use those powers right, and should use those powers because they’re granted them.”

Each position within the executive committee is also up for election on July 27.

According to Jason Harris, there are federal laws against increasing per-cap payments past 45% of a gaming facility’s revenue. If he’s elected, he says he’d be willing to bring that decision in front of General Council, which would then have to be approved by the federal Bureau of Indian Affairs.

“They can vote for it to go up to 45%,” he says, “but that’ll take it from tribal economic development, or you can take probably take it from capital reserves, but you would take that 5% from a line somewhere. And that’s something they can do. We can certainly do that.”

Jason says his opponent has pushed for larger

payouts beyond that, which he does not support.

“Unfortunately, people who are not on this side of the desk in here don’t see our revenue that comes in from the casino and know what all of our expenses are, what our liabilities are, all the things that it’s going to take to build the permanent facility out, paying to get rid of our old agreements, all of those things,” he says. “You can’t just take everything that you got or that you’re draining out of the cow and say, ‘Here, I’m going to give it off to you.’”

Jason says he agrees with some critiques that have called on the tribal government to be more transparent, but cited new issues brought up by COVID-19 as reasons the current government has become more wary of certain disclosures.

According to Jason, members of the General Council became restless during the pandemic because they couldn’t get 86 members together to

Still, he insists that if he were to win the upcoming election, he would make transparency a priority.

“Not taking anything away from the current chief, he has a management philosophy that works for him, but I have a little bit of a different one,” he says. “I’m not scared of transparency. As long as you tell them the truth, you shouldn’t ever be scared of it anyway.

‘Never seen an election like this’

An increase in the tribe’s use of technology has had more effects than with just transparency. The implementation of Zoom meetings made some on the reservation uncomfortable, as it allowed for more participation from tribal citizens living elsewhere in the country, seen by some to be not as invested in what’s happening on the reservation.

Catawba way. It feels if existing leadership cannot control a program they squash it out of fear. We are NOT to be governed, we govern ourself.”

In a response on Facebook, Jason Harris called Parks’ claims a “phony story,” pointing out that a police report was filed but no charges brought against him, which he claimed as evidence that the claims were fake.

For Osborn, the entire atmosphere of this election feels different from any he’s experienced in the past.

“I feel like we as Catawbas, have always been really opinionated, but I think that this time I’m a little concerned because I see it mirroring U.S. politics and U.S. issues. And I can’t really put my finger on any of that specifically, but I see that ideologically that tends to follow some of the same trends of like, ‘This person stands for that, that person stands for this,’” he says.

“We have social media, we have an ability to gather in spaces together to meet all of the candidates and things like that. Whereas historically it was, ‘Do I know this person,’ or, ‘Is that person my cousin?’ Now it’s tied to the casino, which is tied to finances; it’s tied to political relationships and people’s actual ability to engage with people and interact with people on certain levels. And I don’t really think we know how to navigate that, to be honest.”

For his part, Jason Harris says he engaged with social media reluctantly after being told he would need to in order to reach voters.

meet quorum and ended up missing three meetings over 18 months. The tribe finally implemented virtual meetings, but that led to incidents in which members would screenshot private records shared with the tribe and send them to reporters.

“We don’t want to look like we’re not transparent, we want to give them as much information as we can,” he says. “But I think by us growing and jumping into the Zoom, that type of stuff, we took some criticism because we weren’t showing everything because we were trying to protect the tribe’s resources and assets. And sometimes they don’t see that. But as we swear to uphold and protect our Constitution, that’s something we have to do on this side of the table.”

More viscerally, multiple tribal citizens tell Queen City Nerve that the increased vitriol surrounding this election has been impossible to ignore.

For instance, a June 26 Facebook post from tribal citizen Cody “Great Bear” Parks, which was shared to Brian Harris’ public campaign page, alleges that Jason Harris threatened to escalate an argument that began over a tribal senior lawn care program into a physical fight.

Parks turned down a request for an interview for this story, but in his post he wrote, “It hurts this man is running for Catawba Chief yet he continues down a destructive path. He speaks of leadership but turns tribal people against one another. That is NOT the

“I think from a political standpoint, social media has changed our world to me,” he says. “I’m a little bit older. I’m 56. I didn’t see the value of social media. And I’m going to be honest with you, I don’t like it because people can go on there and say anything and people will take it and they’ll run with it … So from that perspective, I hadn’t liked it, but I realized that I had to engage in it. And me being limited to social media exposure, I decided that because this election is so important, I had to engage with it.”

Osborn adds that, thanks to the casino and the outside partners that development has brought in, there are more eyes on this election than any he’s ever witnessed — for better or worse.

“Just seeing the political ramifications and the financial ramifications, I can’t help but think that this is one of the more notable times that I can remember, really, that people other than the people who are members of the tribe would be interested in how this turns out,” he says. “I think we have never seen an election like this and I’m not really sure that we even really appreciate it yet.”

THE LONGHOUSE ON THE CATAWBA INDIAN NATION RESERVATION.

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

QUEEN CITY’S RENAISSANCE

A guide to Charlotte Black Pride 2023

BY KARIE SIMMONS

Much has changed since Charlotte Black Pride held its first Pride Week in 2005 to celebrate and recognize diversity within the local LGBTQ+ community.

Not only has the organization grown, but after a rocky start to the relationship, Charlotte Black Pride and Charlotte Pride now function as sister organizations and regularly partner on events, fundraising and sharing resources.

In 2022, Charlotte Black Pride had its most successful Pride Week to date, having raised nearly $100,000, which is more than triple the organization’s average annual budget.

This year’s Charlotte Black Pride, themed “Black Renaissance - Made for Now,” takes place July 16-23, 2023, and promises to continue that momentum with a handful of official events planned across the city.

The theme is a nod to the Harlem Renaissance of the 1920s and ‘30s, which was pioneered by Black queer folk, and closely mirrors what’s been happening in Charlotte lately: an artistic and cultural awakening led in part by the Black LGBTQ+ community. (It also doesn’t hurt in terms of pop culture relevance that Beyonce’s latest album, released last July, was named Renaissance and was heavily influenced by the Black LGBTQ community.)

This year’s Pride Week aims to acknowledge and celebrate all that’s been going on in the local community while recognizing that, even with many challenges for equality still ahead, there is no better time than now to be Black and LGBTQ+ in Charlotte.

Here’s a day-by-day guide to celebrating Charlotte Black Pride 2023:

MR. & MRS. CHARLOTTE BLACK PRIDE PAGEANT

Who will wear the crown? Hosted by drag performer Dorae Saunders, this pageant puts contestants’ interview skills, red carpet fashion and talent to the test as they vie for the titles of Mr., Mrs. and Lady Charlotte Black Pride. The evening includes appearances by local entertainers Malayia Chanel Iman, Ken Sings and Emerald K. Phoenix, followed by an afterparty to celebrate the winners from 10 p.m.-2 a.m. for an additional $20.

More: $10 and up; July 16, 7 p.m.; IV Stones Event Center by Destini, 933 Louise Ave., Suite 125

MADE FOR NOW WELLNESS PARTY

An evening of total healing with an emphasis on mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. Dress to move with Stone’s Lit Dance Fit; Pastor Veronica Daughety of Shackless, a physical and spiritual fitness ministry; and instructor-led dance fusion and yoga classes.

More: Free; July 17, 7-10 p.m.; VAPA Center, 700 N. Tryon St.

MADE FOR NOW RALLY & DEMONSTRATION

Themed “The Culture Wars: Weaponizing LGBTQ+ Identity,” this peace rally aims to celebrate members of the LGBTQ community while strengthening the bond of that community. Demonstrations include spoken word, a vocal performance and visual art.

More: Free; July 18, 6-8 p.m.; First Ward Park, 301 E. 7th St.

BLACK RENAISSANCE: FILM NOIRE

A screening and discussion of the LGBTQ+ documentary Black Rainbow Love with filmmaker Angela Harvey. The film delves into the rich and diverse stories of Black LGBTQ+ individuals, highlighting their resilience, strength and contributions to society. The event includes raffle giveaways and complimentary refreshments and hors d’oeuvres.

More: Free; July 19, 7-10 p.m.; Grimes Lounge, Johnson C. Smith University, 100 Beatties Ford Road

CENTERSTAGE: A TRIBUTE TO BEYONCÉ

Celebrate Queen Bey in song, dance and visual arts with local dancers, entertainers and special guest visual artist DeNeer Davis. The event also features a cash bar, raffle giveaways, a digital photo booth, vendors and food trucks.

More: $20; July 20, 7-11 p.m.; IV Stones Event Center by Destini, 933 Louise Ave., Suite 125

MEET & GREET RECEPTION

Meet and mingle with members of the local LGBTQ+ community during an evening that includes performances by Charlotte Black Pride’s Royal Court, live painting, stand-up comedy, a DJ, raffle giveaways and spoken word in collaboration with Lip Service, an LGBTQ+ poetry open mic hosted by L’Monique.

More: Free; July 21, 7-10 p.m.; Fairfield Inn & Suites

Uptown, 201 S. McDowell St.

EXPO EXTRAVAGANZA

Entertainers and over 40 business and community vendors all under one roof.

More: Free; July 22, 1-5 p.m.; Fairfield Inn & Suites

Uptown, 201 S. McDowell St.

SUMMER RENAISSANCE KIKI BALL

Go all out in an Afro-pop- or Afro-futuristic-inspired look to compete for $1,000 in cash prizes with music by DJ Monie Luxe.

More: Free; July 22, 5-8 p.m.; Fairfield Inn & Suites Uptown, 201 S. McDowell St.

QUEEN SUGAR BASH

A vibrant outdoor festival celebrating LGBTQ+ people of color in visual and performing arts presented by local nonprofit Holiday Wish Foundation. This year’s bash includes an all-female band and dueling DJs, along with a lineup of LGBTQ+ visual and performing artists, living art installations, raffle giveaways and a vendor marketplace.

More: $20-$40; July 22, 6-10 p.m.; Holiday Wish Foundation, 6800 Rambling Rose Drive

FAMILY REUNION

The finale to Charlotte Black Pride week is a family reunion-style cookout in the park with complimentary hot dogs, vegan dogs, sides and drinks (while they last), a live DJ, outdoor games and a Spades competition. Bring your own blankets and chairs.

More: Free; July 23, 2-6 p.m.; Veterans Park, 2136 Central Ave.

Buy tickets and learn more at charlotteblackpride.org.

KSIMMONS@QCNERVE.COM

CHARLOTTE BLACK PRIDE HELD A JUNETEENTH EVENT IN JUNE 2023.

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

RESCUE THE NIPPLE

Haylo Healing Arts Lounge offers closure, new beginnings with areola tattooing

BY ANNIE KEOUGH

Mica Gadhia did not want nipples again. Following her year-long breast cancer journey, which consisted of constant poking and prodding and the eventual traumatic loss of her sexual organs, the expectations of what came next post-treatment pissed her off.

“I was angry for most of the [breast cancer] process,” Gadhia said. ”Because you don’t want to have fucking cancer.”

That anger only grew after a particularly frustrating conversation with a male friend. “Nipples are what people expect; of course you would get them,” he asserted.

According to Gadhia, however, doing what’s expected isn’t how she moves through the world.

She eventually found a solution that was far from what could be considered the typical expectation: a tattoo artist in a sunken studio off Central Avenue who offered Gahdia “the nipple of her dreams” in the form of an artistic breast adornment tattoo.

Hayley Moran, owner of Haylo Healing Arts Lounge, has practiced custom breast adornment, areola renewal and 3D nipple tattoos for nearly 13 years. In 2010, when Moran was working as a tattoo artist at Fu’s Custom Tattoos in NoDa, the practice was nearly unheard of. She became aware of it while she was dabbling in another cosmetic procedure: eyebrow tattooing.

Moran did a few of the restorative tattoos over two years, but didn’t pick it up as a regular service until she connected with Dr. Garrett Harper, MD, in 2012. A double board-certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon, Harper was referred to Moran by a movie theater attendant during a date night with his wife.

He had been searching for a realistic tattoo artist to refer his breast cancer patients to after relocating from Atlanta to Charlotte (and getting a sleeve of his own while he was at it). He asked the attendant, then another woman on a separate occasion, “Who would do the best job forming an intimate relationship with breast cancer survivors who needed their nipples tattooed?”

“Immediately, without hesitation, [the two

no pop, no texture. It was not just disappointing, it was borderline criminal.”

“It just seemed like such a waste of time and resources that the patient was constantly trying to improve,” Harper continued. “Whereas you get somebody who’s just a really talented tattoo artist and it’s one and done and beautiful.”

Moran was more than happy to be that tattoo artist. She believes creating tattoos that symbolize the final piece of a breast cancer survivor’s journey is a step toward feeling at home in your skin, something foundational to living fully.

What does it mean to survivors?

Moran reached out to her past clients asking if any of them were comfortable talking to Queen City Nerve about their tattoo experience for this story. Within 24 hours, nine of them reached out happy to share.

“You have a lot of choice taken away from you when you have cancer, and anything you can choose is a small victory,” said Beth Auten, a past client. “It’s empowering to be able to choose to have your body look the way you envision it and feel confident and beautiful in your own skin.”

women] said Hayley,” Harper recalled to Queen City Nerve.

Areola and nipple tattooing were still a new frontier at the time; surgeons relied on breast and nipple reconstruction to achieve the look and feel of a typical areola. That practice left an inordinate amount of scar tissue behind, Harper said, and the recreated nipple would always flatten out over time.

When surgeons or their nurses did attempt to recreate an areola complex through tattooing, they would take the advice they learned from a quick weekend workshop on tattooing and pigment.

But nurses aren’t trained tattoo artists who dedicate their lives to the craft. Any certification they could earn in a workshop is not in honor of their ability to create a realistic nipple and areola, only the level of safety and sterilization they achieved during the tattoo process.

“It was pathetic,” Harper said. “[The nipples] had

Opening her own woman-owned and operated tattoo studio in January 2015 helped create an environment where Moran could dedicate necessary care and attention to her clientele. Gadhia felt that comfort on the day of her appointment.

“I think the number one thing that [Hayley] offers is safety, which is something you don’t feel during your medical process,” Gadhia said. “To be able to go into somebody’s space and to be held and to feel safe … there’s not a price you can put on that.”

The nipple of Gadhia’s dreams didn’t turn out to be a nipple at all. Her tattoos symbolized what she wanted in her life: an om symbol representing calm on her left breast and an opening lotus on her right, which she features proudly on the cover of her memoir, Open in the Front.

Auten had already gone through a nipple reconstruction surgery, requiring Moran to tattoo grafted skin, which changes the way the skin picks up the pigment.

“She didn’t tell me she couldn’t do it — she just figured it out, and with a touch-up a few months later, they look like ‘real’ nipples,” Auten said.

Moran waves the consultation fee for breast adornment and areola renewal consultations, prioritizing the tattoos above her other appointments.

Following Cassandra Casanova’s consultation with Moran, the next open appointment shouldn’t have been until three months later. Moran moved her schedule around, knowing what this procedure meant for her client, and booked Casanova not even two weeks later.

“She knew I had already waited two and a half

PHOTO BY LORA DENTON

A BREAST ADORNMENT TATTOO COMPLETED AT HAYLO HEALING ARTS LOUNGE.

years for this portion to be complete,” Casanova said. “She didn’t want me to have to wait another second if she could help it.

“It was the final step that I needed to just make me feel whole as a woman,” she added. “When she… showed me the mirror I immediately started crying. Because … I could just say, ‘Finally, finally it’s done.’”

“I think [the tattoos] really help close the last chapter of a pretty awful time that you had to live through,” Misty Jannetta, a past client, told Queen City Nerve. “It is the beginning of getting back your life to a close-to-normal view of yourself.”

Moran created an original tattoo for Lisa Jones based on the idea she described in her consultation.

“I sought Haylo Studios to specifically create something to memorialize … as a marker of the end of the main part of my cancer journey,” she said. “I see it every day and it reminds me of the challenge I faced and all the love and support I was given.

“It is by far the most beautiful reminder of my time in primary cancer treatment,” she continued. “I will always be a cancer survivor and in some ways that is a beautiful thing.”

What’s next?

Three-dimensional nipple and areola renewal tattoos are a life-changing service, but the service is still hard to find. So why aren’t more local tattoo artists offering it?

“With tattooing in general, I feel like there aren’t tons of people willing to share their particular skill sets,” said Sam Woodson, Moran’s apprentice. “So [Hayley] is one in a million for sure.”

Although Moran admitted there is no one in Charlotte that she feels she could send clients to if she were unable to complete their tattoos, she believes Woodson’s proficiency with areola tattoos is going to change that.

Woodson began apprenticing under Moran in spring 2023 after hearing about her work and is currently observing Moran’s nipple, breast and areola tattoos before she gets started on her own.

She told Queen City Nerve that working with scar tissue and understanding the way the skin will react under different circumstances is a lot to learn, but it’s an interesting challenge.

“I think [the areola tattoos] are super important because it’s such a necessity for so many people,” Woodson said. “And if you’re in body arts already, the purpose for most people … is to help other people find confidence in themselves.”

To Moran, tattooing is a sacred ritual that should be honored and protected through high-quality care. She said this specialty service requires the right knowledge and requires an artist with good bedside manner.

“The heart of this art, for [breast cancer] survivors as well as the growing trans community, is centered in a real desire to renew confidence and inspire a sense of wholeness,” Moran said. “It’s important to me that we enrich our tattoo community with love, comfort and compassion through proper mentorship.”

New beginnings

While 3D areola tattooing marks the end of a chapter for one community, it can also mark the beginning of a brand new one for another.

Tattooing members of the transgender community led Moran to an epiphany. The same nipple and areola tattoos she offers to breast cancer survivors could also be used to create a more realistic look for female-to-male (FTM) trans folks who have undergone top surgery.

Although many trans folks typically walk away from surgery with both nipples intact, they can, at times, become misshapen from top surgery.

“I’ve seen a few folks post-top surgery and know from my years of working with the scarring from mastectomy, there is only so much a surgeon can do to restore visual balance and harmony to a body who has experienced so much change,” she said.

Moran offers 3D areola tattoos to those who choose not to go through with nipple reconstruction. As in breast cancer recovery, Moran recognized that bedside manner means everything while carrying out this work.

Recognizing that members of the trans community may not feel accepted as soon as they walk into a new space, she emphasized that those folks are not only accepted at Haylo Healing Arts Lounge, but loved.

“Art continues to bring inspiration and beauty into this world and body art, especially by someone who truly cares, can be the perfect step in selfdiscovery and self-actualization through selfexpression,” Moran said.

“We are here to be a part of your journey in ways that bring you into alignment with your own body, mind and spirit. Whether it’s through realistic 3D nipples of your choice or decorative adornment, honoring and embodying your truth by getting tattooed is a meaningful and transformative personal rite of passage.”

PHOTO BY LORA DENTON A BREAST ADORNMENT TATTOO BY HAYLEY MORAN.

PHOTO BY HAYLEY MORAN

A POST-MASTECTOMY ADORNMENT TATTOO.

PHOTO BY HAYLEY MORAN

THE RESULTS OF A 3D NIPPLE TATTOO.

SAT

KILLER MIKE & THE MIDNIGHT REVIVAL

7/12

SUSTAINABILITY GAME NIGHT

A game night for the urbanist in all of us. Divine Barrel Brewing and Sustain Charlotte partner each month to host this board game night featuring games with themes around transportation and building such as Ticket to Ride, Monopoly Builder, and Megacity Oceania. Competitive and cooperative fun is the name of the game(s), giving folks interested in sustainability a fun chance to meet new like-minded friends. There’s no knowledge of any game required to get involved. After all, Sustainability Game Night is all about learning.

More: Free; July 12, 7-9 p.m.; Divine Barrel Brewing, 3701 N. Davidson St., Suite 203; divinebarrel.com

CHARLOTTE CHEF FESTIVAL

Private chefs and caterers hardly ever get a chance to showcase their food to the public, while everyday people rarely get a chance to taste said food unless they happen to attend a private event — and even then they don’t usually connect the food with the folks doing the cooking. Now in its third year, the Charlotte Chef Festival solves that problem by bringing together the best chefs, caterers and food vendors all in one place for the general public to try samples and buy meals — including vegan options. Splurge on a VIP ticket to sample small plates from featured chefs like Chef John from the TV show Eat, Drink, and Handle Your Business.

More: $5-$20; July 15, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; Love in Action Cafe, 4419 Tuckaseegee Road; tinyurl.com/CharlotteChefFestival

KILLER MIKE Photo courtesy of Treefort Fest 7/15 QUEEN’S FEAST: CHARLOTTE RESTAURANT WEEK Courtesy of Charlotte Restaurant Week 7/21 - 7/30

More: $35; July 15, 8 p.m.; The Underground, 820 Hamilton St.; fillmorenc.com

WED 7/15 7/19 7/21 - 7/30

85 SOUTH SHOW LIVE

With over 2 million subscribers on YouTube, over half a billion independent views, and more than 150,000 live show tickets sold, the 85 South Show has changed the comedy industry from its home base in Atlanta — yes, directly down 85 South from Charlotte. DC Young Fly, Karlous Miller and Chico Bean first teamed up in Steve Harvey’s studio to begin recording a podcast that showcased their improv, freestyling and roasting skills, and have since grown the show into a staple of Southern Black culture.

More: $35 and up; July 16, 7 p.m.; Bojangles Coliseum, 2700 E. Independence Blvd.; boplex.com

REBECCA KLEINMANN & CESAR GARABINI, TAMBEM

Choro, the original instrumental music of Brazil, means “to cry” in Portuguese, yet it’s an upbeat genre, based on lively rhythms and jazz-like improvisation. In fact, it’s called the New Orleans jazz of Brazil. It takes a virtuosic, empathic player to master this sprightly, seductive genre. The Muse hosts two; American flutist Rebecca Kleinmann, who has played with several Brazilian music legends, accompanies Brazilian guitarist Cesar Garabini, master of choro’s 7-string guitar. Durham’s womenfronted tropical pop quartet Também specializes in Brazilian musical styles that sprang from choro — a mix of bossa nova, samba and baião. More: $15; July 19, 7:30 p.m.; Evening Muse, 3227 N. Davidson St.; eveningmuse.com

QUEEN’S FEAST: CHARLOTTE RESTAURANT WEEK

Prepare your taste buds for a staycation in the Charlotte metro area trying new foods and restaurants as part of Queen’s Feast, aka Charlotte Restaurant Week. The summer edition of this biannual promotion features more than 90 restaurants in Mecklenburg, Cabarrus, Iredell, Gaston, Union, Catawba, Stanly, York and Lancaster counties offering three-course, prix fixe dining deals. The Charlotte restaurants new to Queen’s Feast this year are The Asbury at the Dunhill Hotel in Uptown; Fat Cat Burgers + Bakeshop and the Penguin DriveIn in Dilworth; Fiore in Ballantyne; and the new Bonterra location in SouthPark. Don’t forget to make reservations or you’ll end up SOL eating frozen pizza at home.

More: $30-$50 per person; July 21-30; locations vary; queensfeast.com

South End’s open-air market Front Porch Sundays is on the move and adding a funky twist thanks to Resident Culture’s very own brand of weird. Unlike Sundays, Front Porch Fest is hosted indoors. It brings together Killer Coffee, made-from-scratch tacos by the talented Chef Hector González-Mora of El Toro Bruto, Resident Culture beer, kid-approved activities and local shopping from over 30 different vendors. If that wasn’t enough, there’s also coffees and coffee cocktails made just for Front Porch Fest, a live DJ and a photo booth. Rumor has it that if you find the white Adirondack chairs, you’ll get some sort of “Resident Culture prize.”

More: Free; July 22, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.; Resident Culture South End, 332 W. Bland St., Suite C; tinyurl.com/FrontPorchFestJuly

SAT 7/22

MYSTERY PLAN, CANDY COFFINS, KNIVES & DAGGERS

The Mystery Plan’s hypnagogic roller coaster of sound veers from the deadpan shuffle of “Skeleton Man” to the rippling trip-hop of “Silver Lining.” The band’s latest LP, Haunted Organic Machine, unveils cosmic raga “Big Bliss,” dreamy electro pop “What a Day (Disco)” and more. Candy Coffins front man Jame Lathren’s wistful drawl cuts through coursing guitars to focus on the entropic decay of relationships and meaning. The Columbia combo’s meticulous tapestry of anxiety and rocking darkwave packs a heart-rending punch. Asheville’s Knives and Daggers proffer noisy, wonderfully turbulent shoegaze. More: $7; July 22, 8 p.m.; Starlight on 22nd, 422 E. 22nd St.; starlighton22nd.com

7/25

BIG BACKYARD, COMBAT, WEAK KNEES, CURSEJAR

Is pop-punk tapped out, endlessly circling the drain with variations on “Stacy’s Mom”? This bill headlined by homegrown trio Big Backyard breaks through that musical Slough of Despond to prove the opposite is true. The melodic emo crew veers from the wistful “Bellingham, WA” to the absurdly hilarious shout-along “Brendan Fraser.” Rampaging punk-rockers Combat grab the best song title award with “I Like to Tell People That I Play All Ages Shows to Make Myself Sound More Punk Rock.” Weak Knees serves up rollicking Southern-fried emo and Charlotte’s Cursejar makes its onstage debut. More: $12; July 24, 7:30 p.m.; The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Rd.; themilestone.club

‘AIN’T TOO PROUD - THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE TEMPTATIONS’

Following The Temptations’ extraordinary journey from the streets of Detroit to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, Ain’t Too Proud premiered at the Berkeley Repertory Theatre in California on Aug. 31, 2017 and was showing on Broadway by February 2019 — just 18 short months later. Nominated for 12 Tony Awards, the musical tells a story of brotherhood, family, loyalty and betrayal, as the group’s personal and political conflicts threatened to tear them apart during a decade of civil unrest in America — all backed by more than 30 of The Temptations’ greatest hits.

More: $25 and up; July 25-30, times vary; Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

85 SOUTH SHOW LIVE Courtesy of 85 South Show 7/16 BIG BACKYARD Courtesy of Big Backyard 7/24 ‘AIN’T TOO PROUD - THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE TEMPTATIONS’

7/25 - 7/30 MON

7/24

THE BRAVE ONE

Singer-songwriter Liza Ortiz weaves a solo spell

BY PAT MORAN

Liza Ortiz’s Spanish language song “Vida Debajo” (“Life Below”) begins with a seemingly liturgical chant. In her warm slightly reverberating alto, Ortiz issues a cautionary yet hopeful ecological prayer:

“Nos quieren quitar el aire/ Nos quieren quitar la voz/ El árbol que cae tiene vida debajo...”

Translation: “They want to take our air/ They want to take our voice/ But the tree that falls has life underneath...”

Robust and embracing, Ortiz enfolds the listener in her a cappella vocal. It suggests a call-andresponse, except no response is forthcoming. Instead, Ortiz repeats her lyrics in a hypnotic incantation, this time accompanied by her own lilting harmonies. By the third reiteration of the achingly beautiful verse, harmonies swarm through the ecological hymn, coursing like an ever-quickening stream, rushing like the wind through the treetops.

Ortiz says that, in live performance, the song conjures a curious response from the audience: silence.

“It’s the most powerful thing,” Ortiz says. “Everybody goes quiet, especially the first few times that I’ve performed it. There wasn’t even a cellphone out.”

Ortiz insists she’s not anti-technology, just that she feels there’s more to an audience’s response than mere gratification for her.

“There’s something special when you can get everybody super quiet, and we’re all collectively in that moment together,” she says.

Ortiz has been capturing incandescent moments and forging bonds with listeners for more than a decade through a series of bands including psychedelic cumbia purveyors Patabamba and tropical poprockers Chócala, but she has recently expanded her reach and repertoire with Latin electronic trio Bravo Pueblo, as well as her synthesizer-led solo project La Brava, which plays Petra’s on July 20.

The fact that Ortiz has emerged from the safety blanket of band configurations and has stepped out into the spotlight armed with a pair of keyboards is particularly laudable because she’s been managing depression and sometimes severe social anxiety

for most of her life. She says she has learned to acknowledge her anxiety through songwriting and reconcile it with public performance.

“You don’t work on your mental health and then say, ‘Everything’s gone. We’re good to go,’” Ortiz says.

As she began to write songs and perform more often, however, she realized she could utilize both creative endeavors to heal or reframe how she felt about her condition.

“With performance, I get lost in what I’m doing,” she says. “Not to forget that people are there, because they play a huge part in the performance, but I surrender to that present moment.”

Far more challenging, Ortiz acknowledges, are the moments before and after each gig when she interacts uncomfortably with crowds.

“I love connecting with different people, but that’s the part where you clench up a little bit. [It’s] like, ‘I don’t know everyone and there’s a lot of stimulation happening at once.’ Even now, I can’t banter. It’s not my thing.”

‘Without darkness you can’t see the stars’

Born in Gainesville, Florida to a Venezuelan father and Puerto Rican mother, Ortiz moved around a lot as a child. The family even returned briefly to Venezuela, where her father practiced medicine before the political situation in his homeland turned untenable. Ortiz’s family finally settled in Charlotte in 2000 when she turned 10.

Ortiz remembers being immersed in music, encouraged by her mother, who played guitar and mandolin. Home-schooled until 8th grade, Ortiz spent a lot of time with her family, learning to harmonize while singing with her mother and older brother Claudio. The siblings played guitar while Claudio took violin lessons and Ortiz studied piano and began writing songs.

She and Claudio always loved to make as much noise as possible banging on pots and pans, but their tastes became more refined over time. Musical influences on the siblings included salsa, meringue, Spanish ballads and musica llanera —

the folk music of Venezuela. Since Ortiz’s parents are Orthodox Jews, sacred Jewish music and secular Israeli songs were also in the mix.

Ortiz didn’t begin performing publicly until she started singing in high school choir. In college at UNC Charlotte, she joined her first band, Members of the Sea. She credits Claudio with urging her to join and play glockenspiel with the alt-folk-rock combo, which released its sole album We Wish to Communicate in 2009. Both siblings had a brief stint in Case Federal’s band Lost in a World of Color before Federal decamped Charlotte for Austin, Texas.

“Claudio has always been the one to get me into bands,” Ortiz says.

Even having her become the lead vocalist for Chócala, was initially Claudio’s idea, she says.

In 2015, the Ortiz siblings — Claudio on percussion and vocals and Liza on vocals and keyboards — joined percussionist and songwriter Davey Blackburn and guitarist/vocalist Patrick O’Boyle in Patabamba. By then, Ortiz had chosen her ideal instruments for making two sounds at the same time: a Korg synthesizer acquired from Claudio and a vintage Farfisa organ. When the Farfisa broke down, Ortiz bought an Arturia MatrixBrute synthesizer.

“[It’s] my primary tool now,” she says. “It is a beast of a synth.”

In 2017, with the departure of O’Boyle, Patabamba transitioned into Chócala, adding saxophonist Michael Anderson. Along the way, Ortiz wrote her first song. Intentioned for Patabamba, but released on Chócala’s self-titled 2019 debut album, “Tineblas” (“Darkness”) touched on Ortiz’s battle with depression. At the time, Ortiz’s anxiety was exacerbated by the failure of a serious relationship, a falling out with a best friend, the death of the family dog and her car breaking down after all four tires were punctured by nails.

Over cantering percussion, rubbery bass and swaggering saxophone, Ortiz’s vocals chart a sassy course with Stygian undercurrents.

“No te desates de tus tinieblas internas/ Que sin la oscuridad no se ven la estrellas/ Se despertó la bestia en mi...”

(“Don’t detach yourself from your inner darkness/ Because without the darkness you can’t see the stars/ My inner beast has woken up...”)

Ortiz’s second song, “Reina de Mi” (“Queen of My”), which also appears on the band’s sole album, serves as a rejoinder to “Tineblas.” Over insistent tomtoms and honking sax, Ortiz lays out the tune’s thesis:

“La próxima vez que me encuentre/ Enjaulada por incertidumbre / Me ato a mi presencia/ Y me transformo en mi propia numen...”

(“The next time I feel trapped by uncertainty/ I

will attach myself to my presence-the present/ And I will become my own muse...”)

“’Tinieblas’ is that initial moment of realizing and accepting [depression], whereas ‘Reina de Mi’ is completely taking power over it,” Ortiz says.

“Reina de Mi” came to Ortiz when she was taking a shower, she says.

“A lot of times … I’ll hum something, [usually] the first thing that comes to mind even if it doesn’t make sense,” Ortiz says of her songwriting process. “I’ll typically have a thousand voice notes that I go back and work on.”

Although she’s more comfortable with speaking English than Spanish, she writes songs in Spanish.

“There’s something about the imagery in Spanish, the way the words sound,” she says. “Honestly, a lot of times the way I write is [to] make a list of words that I either want to use, or I like the way they sound, and just build on that.”

Ortiz likens songwriting to channeling.

“A lot of the song lyrics feel like they’re not even coming from me,” she says. “[Instead], it’s a message for me. I think it is just processing one’s own truths about life.”

Bravo brava

In 2016, musician, playwright, songwriter and former educator Molly J. Brown approached Chócala to play songs she has composed for a live performance of her satirical musical comedy Frannie’s Feel-Good Farm at Petra’s. Brown subsequently asked Ortiz to sing and act in Brown’s musical homage to film noir, Murder & Moonbeams, which debuted at Petra’s in 2019. During the COVIDimposed quarantine, Murder & Moonbeams was adapted into a feature film.

Ortiz reprised her stage roles for the production, which was filmed during lockdown.

“I’ve never considered myself as an actor, but I love musicals,” Ortiz says. “The Sound of Music was huge in our home.”

Brown has high praise for Ortiz’s talent.

“Apart from being a joy to be around, Liza’s talented and crazy expressive,” Brown says. ‘[She’s] definitely one of the best singers in town. She’s a superstar.”

Chócala wound down as Blackburn devoted himself to dealing with his son Cuauthy’s diagnosis of leukemia, and Charlotte began to go into a COVIDnecessitated quarantine. Prior to that, Ortiz and her brother had begun to play gigs that Chócala was unable to do.

“Claudio and I decided to form Los Ortiz as a little side project to be able to do songs [that weren’t

MUSIC FEATURE

right for Chócala] — work on a more electronic sound and get a bit weirder,” Ortiz says.

Armed with her dual keyboards, Ortiz began playing solo gigs at Goodyear Arts, but they were never full sets, just a two- or three-song maximum.

“Then I played a ‘Senses of Healing’ event at The Frock Shop, where I put together 45 minutes of music. I used binaural beats,” she says, explaining a practice in which two tones of slightly different frequencies are played so that the brain perceives the creation of a new, third tone. “Then I added a lot of different textures.”

Ortiz says the majority of the music she writes is the sum of “happy accidents” that occur when she’s playing around with a sequencer or different beat machines.

“I’ll create something, end up liking how that sounds and just build around that,” she says.

The first time Ortiz performed as La Brava was for Highlights Fest, an all-day event featuring electronic music at Goodyear Arts in Camp North End. She recalls that it took place right before the March 2020 quarantine.

During quarantine, Ortiz devoted her time to songwriting and started working with Florida-based Venezuelan punk band Zeta. That band’s frontman Juan Ricardo Yilo, aka Juan Chi, subsequently moved to Charlotte from Miami on July 2021. Zeta had come through Charlotte, where Yilo had seen Chócala play

and noted Ortiz’s performance

“During the lockdown, [Zeta] decided to work virtually with a group of artists, different people, and make this album that was a collective experience. I did vocals for that album [Todo Bailardo].”

Charlotte eventually started emerging from the lockdown. In June 2021, Ortiz played the annual Doomsday event at Goodyear as La Brava.

“I had to write three songs for that and it just went from there,” Ortiz says. “I started getting offered shows, and that gave me a reason to write more music.”

When Zeta played Snug Harbor in November 2021, the band asked Ortiz to open as La Brava.

“The majority of songs I play today, I wrote two days before that show,” Ortiz says.

At the Snug show, Ortiz joined Zeta onstage for its performance. She has since played with them twice at the famous Gainesville, Florida festival called Fest.

One of the times Zeta came to Charlotte, they asked Los Ortiz to open, which is when musician and resident Goodyear visual artist Lisandro Herrera saw the Ortiz siblings play.

Herrera asked them if he could be in their band. The three artists clicked and ended up creating tropical electronic trio Bravo Pueblo.

“Claudio and I were just beaming the second [Herrera] approached us about making music, because it’s a dream,” Ortiz says.

Ortiz’s busy schedule has recently included singing in a commercial for the North Carolina Brazilian

Arts project and playing as La Brava at the annual Brazilian Festival the group and Charlotte’s capoeira community hosted at The Neighborhood Theatre in February. La Brava also composed the soundtrack for Baran Dance’s “Big Moves” performance in May. Thrilled to work with dancer/choreographer Audrey Baran, Ortiz recorded the soundtrack quickly, as she knew the troupe had to start choreographing.

“Not once did I think about the fact that I would have to play those songs exactly as I had recorded them,” Ortiz says, laughing. In the end, the performance went off without a hitch. Ortiz had thoughtfully provided the dancers with translations of all the lyrics in her songs so they would know what each tune is about.

After the July 20 La Brava gig at Petra’s, Bravo Pueblo will embark on a mini-tour of the East Coast, opening for Zeta in Connecticut, Virginia, Washington D.C., and culminating at Hopscotch Music Festival in Raleigh in September.

Bravo Pueblo is currently working on recording, Ortiz says, and it turns out there is some musical crossover between the trio and La Brava.

“Honestly, the two projects are in the same vein,” Ortiz says.

All of the songs for La Brava are Ortiz’s and most of Bravo Pueblo’s are as well. In a few cases, Claudio and Herrera have loved some La Brava songs so much that they’ve asked Ortiz if the trio could record its own versions of the tunes. Ortiz said yes.

“Those two projects are always going to be combined, except that Claudio and Lee bring

additional layers [to Bravo Pueblo],” Ortiz says. “Hopefully, once we finish recording the Bravo Pueblo songs, anything we don’t take for that project I’ll release as La Brava.”

By Ortiz’s own admission, La Brava’s and Bravo Pueblo’s music is tough to describe.

“It’s a mixture of electronic, tropical, and there are some pop elements,” she says. “It’s experimental, but it’s not that far out.”

Ortiz recalls that she recently played a show where one of the bands on the bill asked what kind of music she plays.

“I said, ‘You know what? You watch it and tell me what you think.’ Afterwards, they said, ‘I get it. I understand,’ So, how do you categorize that?”

There’s no need to categorize. The vibes are what matters.

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

LISA ORTIZ

PHOTO BY CLAUDIO ORTIZ

WEDNESDAY, JULY 12

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Rothschild w/ The Killakee House, My Blue Hope, Swae (The Milestone)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

See Bird Go (Camp North End)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

The Wildmans w/ The Jenkins Twins (Evening Muse)

Jukebox Rehab (Goldie’s)

Caitlin Rose & the Kernal w/ Amigo (Snug Harbor)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Brandon Davidson (Goldie’s)

COVER BANDS

Chicago Rewired (Middle C Jazz)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

Open Mic feat. Jackson Harden (Starlight on 22nd)

THURSDAY,

JULY 13

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Modern Alibi w/ Veaux (Amos’ Southend)

Luka Delgra (Comet Grill)

Rod Fiske (Goldie’s)

Council Ring w/ Small Doses, Aurora’s Hope (The Milestone)

Cloutchaser w/ Silver Doors, Zephyranthes (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Chris O’Leary Band (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Lua Flora w/ Ross Adams, The Brothers Gillespie (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

True Faith: A Celebration Of Manchester Music (Tommy’s Pub)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Caleb Davis w/ Josh Daniel (Goldie’s)

Scott Lowder (The Rooster)

FRIDAY, JULY 14

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Melissa Etheridge (Knight Theater)

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

The Reticent w/ Pathos & Logos, Bog Loaf, Boozewa, Evilleaf (The Milestone)

Angel Massacre w/ Sagen, Valar Morghulis, And I

Become Death, Neverfall (The Rooster)

blink-182 (Spectrum Center)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Yung Pinch (The Underground)

JAZZ/BLUES

Richard Elliot (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Dane Page w/ Ethan Nathaniel (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Doc Robinson w/ The Get Right Band (Camp North End)

Delta Fire w/ Natural Fiasco (Goldie’s)

Sinetology (Petra’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Scott Pittman (Goldie’s)

EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED GENRES

Lil Skritt w/ Petrov, DRMOFO (Snug Harbor)

SATURDAY, JULY 15

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Weekend Excursion w/ Jacoozy (Amos’ Southend)

Mike Strauss Band (Comet Grill)

Blackwater Drowning w/ The Fall of Babylon, Trainwrecked, Sagen, Savage Empire (The Milestone) Scandal (The Rooster)

Young the Giant w/ Milky Chance (Skyla Amphitheatre)

Cuzo w/ Pretty Baby, Catholics (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Killer Mike & the Midnight Revival (The Underground)

CHRISTIAN/RELIGIOUS/GOSPEL

Take 6 (Knight Theater)

COVER BANDS

Landslide (Fleetwood Mac tribute) (Goldie’s)

SUNDAY, JULY 16

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Demonfuck w/ Splitlip, Until They Bleed, Bunker Hill

Bloodbath (The Milestone)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Erykah Badu (Spectrum Center)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

Carrie Marshall (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

Gabba Gabba Huh? (Tommy’s Pub)

TUESDAY, JULY 18

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Downward w/ Prize Horse, Clearbody, Leaving Time (The Milestone)

Gideon w/ The Coursing, Blackwater Drowning (Neighborhood Theatre)

Yellowcard (Skyla Amphitheatre)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

Cosmic Jam Sessions (Crown Station)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Jukebox Rehab (Goldie’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Brett Milstead (Goldie’s)

WEDNESDAY, JULY 19

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Duane Betts & Palmetto Hotel w/ Gabriel Kelley (Neighborhood Theatre)

Cherubs w/ Late Bloomer, ADHD (Snug Harbor)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Jinkx Monsoon (Knight Theater)

See Bird Go (Camp North End)

Leisure McCorkle w/ Caleb Davis (Goldie’s)

Boy George & Culture Club (PNC Music Pavilion)

Louis Tomlinson (Skyla Amphitheatre)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Ann Marie (The Underground)

Hobo Johnson w/ Franklin Jonas (Visulite Theatre)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Rebecca Kleinmann & Cesar Garabini w/ Também (Evening Muse)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster) Open Mic feat. Alan Kaplon (Starlight on 22nd)

THURSDAY, JULY 20

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Riverside Odds w/ Self Made Monsters, The Camel City Blackouts (The Milestone)

Secret Shame w/ Bleached Cross, Black Bouquet (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

5th & York (Middle C Jazz)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

JAZZ/BLUES

Karla Haris & the Jow Alterman Trio (Middle C Jazz)

Brut Beat w/ Jesus Is The Path To Heaven, Adam Cope (Petra’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Frequency 360 Presents: Pete & Preemo Party (Starlight on 22nd)

Reflexions (Tommy’s Pub)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Albatross (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Jake Haldenvang w/ Mike Ramsey (Goldie’s)

Joseph Gallo (Primal Brewery)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

moe. (Neighborhood Theatre)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Spencer Rush (Goldie’s)

Jennifer Alvarado (The Rooster)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night (Starlight on 22nd)

MONDAY, JULY 17

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Tylor Hill (Evening Muse)

Benny Holiday Presents Holiday Showcase Vol. 1 (The Rooster)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Jon Linker (Comet Grill)

Ryan Trotti w/ Josh Daniel (Goldie’s)

Hank, Pattie and the Current (Neighborhood Theatre)

Aaron Lee Tasjan w/ Andrew Sctochie (Visulite Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

La Brava w/ Cal Folger Day, Ghost Trees (Petra’s)

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

Stephen Stanley w/ Ivey Asher (Evening Muse)

ERYKAH BADU PERFORMS AT SPECTRUM CENTER ON JULY 16.

PHOTO BY PARICK HAMBERG

COVER BANDS

Sweet Baby James (James Taylor tribute) (Booth Playhouse)

FRIDAY, JULY 21

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Woah w/ Rohna, Blankstate, Willingdon (Amos’ Southend)

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

Jake Haldenvang Band w/ The L.A. Maybe (Goldie’s)

Pet Bug w/ Blue Gill, Jackson Fig, Swae (The Milestone)

Fall Out Boy (PNC Music Pavilion)

Modern Moxie w/ Neon Deaths, Physical/Digital, Ryo, Sea Slugs (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Frank Foster (Coyote Joe’s)

JAZZ/BLUES

Warren Wolf (Stage Door Theater)

Shelley Ruffin (Middle C Jazz)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Late Notice w/ Satellite Dog (Camp North End)

Bedroom Getaway w/ Unis, Read-Only Time Travel (The Rooster)

Coconut Groove Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

Kash’d Out w/ Sons of Paradise (Visulite Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

OAKK w/ GRGLY, TUFF, VYNA (Crown Station)

YMCMB & ME Young Money Dance Party (Neighborhood Theatre)

Dark Adaptation w/ Bassarid, Heatvvave, Sashimi (Tommy’s Pub)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

Alexa Jenson w/ Low Groves, FLKL (Evening Muse)

COVER BANDS

Fab Fest: BritBeat (Beatles tribute) (Knight Theater)

SATURDAY, JULY 22

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

LANiiDAE w/ Fractured Frames, The Dirty Low Down, No Anger Control (Amos’ Southend)

Randy Franklin & the Sardines (Comet Grill)

Hellfire 76 w/ Roman Candles, Ultralush, Kevin Terrell (The Milestone)

Brewstock Music Festival (The Rooster)

Mystery Plan (Starlight on 22nd)

Jason Moss And The Hosses (Tommy’s Pub)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Phaze Gawd w/ Moon Man, Raddre, Master Kie (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Featherpocket (Birdsong Brewing)

The Mountain Grass Unit w/ Eternally Grateful (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)

Sam Hunt (PNC Music Pavilion)

JAZZ/BLUES

Warren Wolf (Stage Door Theater)

Ragan Whiteside (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

The Parks Brothers (Goldie’s)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

The Tune Hounds (Primal Brewery)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Bakalao Stars w/ Petah Iah, Arklight Sound System (Snug Harbor)

COVER BANDS

Fab Fest: Tosco Music Beatles Tribute (Knight Theater)

Machine Funk (Widespread Panic tribute) (Neighborhood Theatre)

Tribute (Allman Bros. tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

SUNDAY, JULY 23

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Dead Senate w/ Consumer Culture, Sweet Spine, Jiu-Jitsu (The Milestone)

Good Looks w/ Shay Martin Lovette (Neighborhod Theatre)

Mudvayne (PNC Music Pavilion)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

Howard McNair (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Ryan Bumgarner (Goldie’s)

Elonzo Wesley (Primal Brewery)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Celtic Session Sunday w/ Alan Davis & Friends (Tommy’s Pub)

MONDAY, JULY 24

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Big Backyard w/ Combat, Week Knees, Cursejar (The Milestone)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Roy Daye Jr. (Goldie’s)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Maggie Rogers (Skyla Amphitheatre)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Colin Cutler (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, JULY 25

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Lost Cargo: Tiki Social Party (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Herb Alpert & Lani Hall (Knight Theater)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

Cosmic Jam Sessions (Crown Station)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Randy Paul w/ Matt Stratford (Goldie’s)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

SUMMER VIBES

A dozen Caribbean takeout spots to check out in the hot season

BY DEZANII LEWIS

Finding a good Caribbean restaurant can be hard. Sometimes the eateries lack a certain something, be it authenticity or maybe even a website, making it quite literally hard to find.

Fortunately, Charlotte has grown into a place where immigrants come to thrive, and that often means serving up the national cuisines they grew up learning to cook perfectly. There is no shortage of great Caribbean food in the Queen City, you’ve just got to know where to find it.

Just in time for summer, we’ve compiled a list of 12 of the best Caribbean takeout spots so you don’t have to splurge on a vacation to find top-notch oxtail, beef patties or jerk chicken.

Yard Cooked Dishes

1610 Ashley Road, Suite 7; yardcookeddishes.com

Neville Storer learned to cook from his mother, grandparents and aunties in a small Jamaican town called Sheffield. He moved to the Bronx when he was 11, but never forgot what he learned back home.

Yard Cooked Dishes had its beginnings in Storer’s dorm room at Jarvis Christian College in Hawkins, Texas, where he cooked for his dorm mates who had nowhere else to eat after 9 p.m. He bought two electric skillets, two rice cookers, and a water cooler from a local Walmart. Cooking two dishes — beef and rice or chicken and rice — Neville found himself in great demand. The rest is history.

Best sellers now go well beyond his original two dishes. We suggest you try the chicken wings or curry salmon with one of the amazing Jamaican sodas offered up at this Westerly Hills takeout spot.

Hillside Caribbean Cuisine

1113 Pegram St.

Owned and operated by Emerth Davis, Hillside Caribbean Cuisine reopened in May 2022 in the Belmont neighborhood. Davis has only been a

Charlotte resident for eight years, but he has quickly managed to make his restaurant a favorite in the neighborhood, which has seen a lot of growth lately as it borders some of Charlotte’s most popular destination hangouts.

The Jamaican eatery has a little bit of something for everyone: buttered shrimp or salt fish for seafood lovers; braised cabbage for vegetarians; and, the favorite, BBQ jerk chicken.

Visitors might experience a short wait during the lunch rush, but it’s worth it.

Mama’s Caribbean

1504 Central Ave., mamascaribbeangrill.com

Located in Plaza Midwood, this Jamaican restaurant specializes in traditional Caribbean food. Inspired by owner Vinroy Reid’s upbringing on a farm, the restaurant prides itself on not using any powdered seasonings in their dishes, instead using natural ground provisions and herbs. Try their curried goat or jerk chicken for some true island vibes.

Reid has kept his Plaza Midwood staple alive even as just about every business around him has been forced out. There he remains as an original of the neighborhood, proud of his kerosene oil stove cooking … and rightfully so.

Crav’n Caribbean

2200 Thrift Road, facebook.com/cravncaribbean

When owner Carlos Abrahams, better known as Chef Loso or “The Oxtail Man,” moved to Charlotte from Kingston, Jamaica, his dream was to serve authentic Caribbean food. Ever since 2021, he has done just that. Abrahams credits watching his mother’s cooking as the inspiration for his cuisine. An interesting thing about this restaurant is that the menu changes frequently. In fact, according to their website, it changes with each opening.

With the exception of Crav’n Caribbean’s infamous oxtail cheesesteak, patrons will likely not

know what to expect on a day-to-day basis, but they will be able to check online, which is highly recommended.

Take note: The entire team takes a muchdeserved break every July, so they won’t be back in the shop until July 27. Try out some of our other spots and be sure to satisfy your Crav’n in August.

Tropical Goodies

2601 Tuckaseegee Road & 2316 Lasalle St., tropicalgoodies.net

Between its two locations, Tropical Goodies offers more than just a traditional Caribbean experience; it also includes soul food in its menu options. So, for visitors wanting the best of both worlds, Tropical Goodies is the place to go.

Not enough for you? As the name suggests, Tropical Goodies offers up six wonderful Jamaican drinks that are perfect for cooling off in the summer: Jamaican ginger beer, Irish moss, Vitamalt, Jamaican cream soda, Ting, and Jamaican pineapple juice.

Ms. Didi’s Kitchen Location varies; msdidiskitchen.com

This food truck run by Haitian mother-daughter duo Christina Bowman and Edith Jean-Francois has seen its share of difficulties, which makes its share of success all the sweeter. Having opened just a few months before COVID struck, the pair had to quickly pivot the structure of the business. In the end, it paid off; they’ve been featured at prominent events like Eat Black Charlotte’s food festival.

Some favorites at the restaurant include the

Port Au Prince, a Haitian fried chicken entree; or the Jacmel, a fried fish dish named after a city in southern Haiti.

The two women hope to one day operate a traditional brick-and-mortar store, but until then, patrons can follow their Instagram @msdidiskitchen for the truck’s weekly schedule and locations.

COURTESY OF COCOA’S JAMAICAN JERK COCOA’S JAMAICAN JERK IN NORTH CHARLOTTE.

COURTESY OF MS. DIDI’S KITCHEN

MS. DIDI’S KITCHEN

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

Cocoa’s Jamaican Jerk

6316-A Old Sugar Creek Road, cocoasjamaicanjerk.com

Since 2017, Paula Brown and her daughter Nyasia have operated their restaurant as if it were their own home, eschewing the use of deep fryers in favor of stoves. While visitors can get a range of traditional Jamaican dishes, the specialty is Cocoa’s Escovitch snapper, an entire red snapper served whole, smothered down with peppers and onions and Jamaican spices.

On her website, Brown stated she wants to bring her customers to the sun-drenched shores of Jamaica, even if just in their minds, “where the tantalizing scents of jerk chicken on the grill mingle with the rhythmic beats of island music.” For anyone unable to visit the island at a given time, perhaps this restaurant tucked away in the corner of a north Charlotte shopping center can help fill the void.

Irie Nation

2729 N. Tryon St. & 3501 S. Tryon St., tinyurl.com/ IrieNation

For anyone looking for a family-owned Jamaican food spot with some of the best curry shrimp around, one need look no further than Irie Nation. Open since 2019, the restaurant offers traditional meals as well as modern dishes like the vegan rasta pasta.

The vibes are always right inside Irie Nation, and when it’s nice there’s a patio on the side of the North Tryon location that offers up the perfect way to enjoy your curried chicken.

El Puro Cuban Restaurant

5033 South Blvd., elpurocubanrestaurant.com

El Puro is owned and operated by siblings Manny Pérez Ochoa and Ana, both UNC Charlotte alumni; and their mother Diana.

Walking into the restaurant, customers will fail to miss the subtle hints at the family’s Cuban culture, such as the bar that resembles the Cuban flag.

El Puro offers takeout, but they also offer live music performances for anyone wanting to dine-in. They also sell their own brand of cigars. Named in honor of the late patriarch of the family, El Puro’s best-selling dishes include Masitas de la Loma, Ropa Vieja, tres leches pancakes from their brunch menu, and Flan Kafe from their dessert menu.

Sure, this is a list made up mostly of take-out restaurants, but if you have a chance to sit in the 1955 Ford Crown Victoria that’s been parked on El Puro’s patio and made into a dining table, you should take it.

Lawrence Caribbean

3011 West Blvd., lawrencecaribbean.com

First generation immigrant Gavin Lawrence has been operating this Jamaican restaurant in the Reid Park area since 2015, but has been cooking for over 40 years. Some of the favorites here are the oxtails, but Lawrence said his personal favorite is the curry goat roti.

This place has something for everyone, including those who may be wary of a little too much heat; each dish is made to order, allowing the amount of spice to be customized. Perfect for anyone trying Caribbean food for the first time, but veterans can still get as much spice as they want.

You can’t miss the patio and the bright colors on the roadside sign while you drive down West Boulevard.

Finga Lickin’ Caribbean Eatery

2838 The Plaza, instagram.com/fingalickin_clt

Serving the community since 2014, Finga Lickin’ Caribbean Eatery is as well-known for its traditional dishes as its bright green facade. From plantains to oxtail, anyone looking to appease their appetite with classic Caribbean food will certainly be able to do so here. For anyone looking to take it a step further, there’s an in-house grocery stocked with foods imported from Jamaica.

The property has been bought out by Pure Pizza owner Juli Ghazi, who says she is working with the family so they can continue serving Finga Lickin’ cuisine out of the location when she moves her flagship shop there — good news for an existing staple in a fast-growing corridor.

Caribbean Hut

9609 N. Tryon St. & 200 W. Woodlawn Road; caribbean-hut.com

Owned and operated by Trevor Lewis, Caribbean Hut has multiple locations that customers can visit — two in Charlotte, and one in Gastonia. They pride themselves on their authentic Jamaican menu and daily lunch specials.

The team at each location starts simmering some dishes early in the morning to get them to slow-roasted perfection, while all shrimp and fish plates are made to order to guarantee freshness. Favorites include roti (callaloo, curry goat, chicken, vegetable or shrimp), red snapper, the curry chicken and goat combo, Jamaican patties, and jerk chicken.

Ryan Pitkin contributed to this story. INFO@QCNERVE.COM

COURTESY OF EL PURO EL PURO CUBAN RESTAURANT

COURTESY OF IRIE NATION IRIE NATION

COURTEESY OF CRAV’N CARIBBEAN CRAV’N CARIBBEAN

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

SUDOKU

BY LINDA THISTLE

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. FOOD & DRINK: What kind of nut is used in a satay?

2. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Who is the first president to have a telephone in the White House?

3. MOVIES: Which actress won an Oscar for her role in “Mary Poppins”?

4. ASTRONOMY: How many planets in our solar system have rings?

5. LITERATURE: The novels “Tom Sawyer” and “Huckleberry Finn” are set in which U.S. state?

6. TELEVISION: How many seasons of “Star Trek” were produced for television?

7. GEOGRAPHY: What is the name of the highest mountain in Greece?

8. SCIENCE: Which plant produces the world’s hottest pepper?

9. ANATOMY: Which hormone regulates blood sugar?

10. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is a piebald?

CROSSWORD

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.

THE SEEKER GRAB LIFE BY THE GOALS

A manifestation amidst grief

BY KATIE GRANT

I’ve been keeping my head above water lately, coasting the crests and troughs of grief after my mother’s death this spring. The grieving process is just that: a process. It is a range of emotions we experience after a loss, whether of a loved one, a breakup, or even a job.

I would summarize the year’s first half as a season of loss — not in a depressing way, but one that inspires hope.

Yes, I’ve lost my mother, and it sucks, but she also found peace from years of suffering from pneumonia and pulmonary fibrosis. It selfishly comforts me to know this and also makes me wonder if grieving is selfish to begin with (although it seems to be involuntary regardless).

Yes, I’ve broken a relationship with a “friend,” but it has liberated me in a capacity that is not quantifiable. In her absence, I’ve felt so much more positive about life. I didn’t realize how much mental space highly critical people can occupy in your life. I am finally learning how accurate the adage, “You are who you surround yourself with” really is. If only I had been this reflective when I was younger, but I digress.

With my newfound “space” post-breakup, I’ve been in an explorative mood. Focusing on building stronger relationships with other friends, I accepted the invitation to a Grab Life by the Goals summit hosted by local life coach Lauren Widick. She offers “coaching, community, courses, and crazy-fun events. It’s a one-stop shop to make your goals unf*ckable with.”

The anticipation for this event alone helped shift my focus to the future and leave this season of loss behind me.

The day-long summit kicked off with writing our own personal manifesto. Never written one? Me neither, so here is a guide on where to start: A personal manifesto is a public declaration of your core beliefs, values and intentions. It is essentially a statement that outlines what motivates you, the principles guiding you, and your decisions.

I’m sharing my initial draft as an example, which I have already printed and placed on my refrigerator as a guidepost to financial freedom.

I will greet each day with gratitude, remembering my human experience is temporary. While my spirit is housed in this body, I will uphold a sheath of peace to protect me.

Each day will be bookended with mindful minutes, a

combination of movement and meditation. The hours in between will be underscored by a healthy intake of meals and media that nourishes my mind, body and soul.

My mind will always focus on being the best version of myself to support my work and relationships through a positive lens, ultimately freeing me from financial debt. My body will maintain health through accessible means: hydration, nutrients, movement and rest. My soul will be sparked by love, surrounding myself with those that can love me as I am, not by what I achieve or can offer.

I am committed to serving this world with a growth mindset, abounding with curiosity, determination, and possibility. Anything is possible.

With my new, second-half-of-the-year mantra that “anything is possible,” I obsessively searched online for yoga retreats in other countries. I finalized my search and landed in Tulum, Mexico, a destination that’s been on my bucket list for some time.

I didn’t know much about the city, but it was built and inhabited by Mayans hundreds of years before European colonization. The Mayans are famous for their pyramid structures, many of which are still visible today.

I learned the contemporary city name of “Tulum,” which means wall, is colonial. However, research shows it was once called “Zama,” or dawn, in the Mayan language. The City of Dawn was calling my name, a new season to efface the traumas of the first half of the year.

A concept Lauren Widick referred to many times during the Grab Life by the Goals summit was manifestation, or materializing our innermost desires. She reminded us that we are all energetic beings, and by verbalizing our dreams we are putting it out there in the universe.

I stacked my holiday hours, personal time off and bereavement days to manifest the fuck out of my first solo international trip, upgrading my seat to first class both ways!

Safely back in the Queen City, I’m now integrating the key revelations I experienced during my downtime, quietly journaling and finding gratitude in the eclipse of such loss: nurture the positive relationships in my life, show up as my best self to every scenario, and greet life’s unexpected turbulence with a positive mental attitude.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Keep a lid on your temper, despite any attempts made by someone who might be trying to goad the Sheep into flaring up. Staying cool helps put your adversary into a deep freeze.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) All you Ferdinands and Fernandas need to take time to smell the flowers. You’ve worked hard. Now, stop and indulge yourself with the vacation you so richly deserve.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) There’s good news for single Geminis who feel incomplete without someone special in their lives. A peek at Cupid’s checklist reveals that a Scorpio or Virgo will soon be knocking on your door.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Don’t fret if things at work might be going too slowly for you. Everything’s on track. Meanwhile, gather your family and friends for a lovely summer outing.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) You might feel you’re being virtuous dedicating all this time to your project. But a little time off for summer fun with loved ones will help you relax and refill your energy reservoir.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Your emotions might mislead you, but not your instincts. Do what you know to be right, even if you’d rather make other choices. Time will show that you chose well.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) This could be a good time to reevaluate some of the business decisions you’ve made during the past several months. A new advisor offers some much-needed counsel.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A personal challenge involving someone close to you needs precisely the kind of courage and honesty you can bring to the situation. Go to it — and good luck.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Continue to build your self-confidence by taking additional steps to assert your rights. Cheer up. The process gets easier with each clear-cut victory.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Despite your keen Capricornean sense of what’s right and what’s not, you still need facts to back up suspicions about a coworker. Bide your time. The truth will come out.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A relationship you hope to save might seem too far gone to be rescued. But continue working with your partner to try to mend the misunderstanding.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You need to keep your emotional side in check and let your logical self sort out the problem that threatens a longtime association. Expect some hidden truths to be revealed.

BORN THIS WEEK: You can be extravagant, and you can be frugal, almost at the same time. But whatever you do and whenever you do it, you do it with style and gusto.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You enter a more positive period, both personally and professionally, but trouble spots can appear. Avoid them by keeping lines of communication open.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Don’t fret about the competition. Since Taurus rules the throat, you could have the advantage of conveying your ideas in tones that are sure to please your listeners.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Of course, as a Gemini, you love to talk. But watch your words very carefully this week. What you say could come back to cause you some unpleasant moments.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) The Grabby-Crabby side of you dominates. You want it all. But try to temper that urge to splurge so that you can take advantage of an upcoming investment opportunity.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Spread that natural sunshine all you loving Leos and Leonas radiate, and brighten up those gloomy hearts around you. Also, expect a visit from someone from your past.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) You like things neat and tidy. That’s fine for your closets and desktops, but you need to be more flexible in your relationships. Give a little, and you’ll get a lot back.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Your financial aspects continue to dominate. There still might be problems to work out from past business decisions before you can make plans for the future.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Travel plans might be up in the air — literally — now that your spouse or partner would rather fly than drive. A thorny workplace issue is close to being resolved.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Use your natural leadership qualities to guide a troublesome workplace project through to completion. Meanwhile, a personal relationship is smooth sailing.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Aspects for moving to a new location appear to be increasingly favorable. Meanwhile, your loyalty to a friend soon pays off in ways you never expected.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Your ability to be flexible helps get you through changes you hadn’t expected, either on the job or at home. Remember to take things one step at a time.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Your creative talents are put to the test, as you attempt to deal with a suddenly changed situation. It will be up to you to devise a way to work it out successfully.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a gift for bringing people together. While you love to travel, you also love being at home, especially if you can be surrounded by your family.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER

Get our community reporting delivered straight to your inbox every Mon., Wed. & Fri.

BIT.LY/NERVENEWSLETTER

UPCOMING SPECIAL ISSUES

JULY 26 | MUSIC ISSUE

AUGUST 9 | PRIDE GUIDE

AUGUST 23 | ELECTION GUIDE

SEPTEMBER 6 | FALL ARTS GUIDE

OCTOBER 25 | HALLOWEEN GUIDE

NOVEMBER 29 | BEST IN THE NEST

DECEMBER 27 | NEW YEAR’S EVE GUIDE

animal with irregular patches of two colors, usually black and white.

10.

Mount Olympus.

8. Carolina Reaper.

9. Insulin.

An

SAVAGE LOVE FIRST TRAP

Doing numbers

BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a 25-year-old woman who has never been in a relationship. As a consequence, I’ve never kissed anyone and obviously never had sex. I’m not from a conservative family and sex has never been a taboo for me, however as a teenager I disliked my body and I’ve always been shy and introverted. I always felt awkward interacting with the opposite sex. At 22, when I finally felt ready to date, the pandemic started. Now, it has been three years and my life isn’t going the way I was expected it to when I was younger. I’m dealing with mental health issues and I lost whatever confidence I had in my early 20s.

As I’m getting and feeling older, I’m anxious and desperate about this situation. Irrationally, I think that I’m the only 25-year-old in the world who’s still a virgin and I’m extremely ashamed of this. I’m worried that I’m missing a lot of opportunities and that later on I’m going to regret this. At this point, I don’t mind the idea of meeting someone through a dating app and having disinterested sex (I’m not looking for a serious relationship), but I’m worried that my potential partner might notice that I’m completely inexperienced. At this point I feel like I will never have the chance to be intimate with someone.

My questions:

1. Should I tell them?

2. Should I look for someone older and more sympathetic of my situation?

3. Are dating apps the only solution?

4. I generally feel more attracted to men once I get to know them. How long can I reasonably ask someone who is looking for something casual to wait?

5. Anything else I should know? THIS DESPERATE GIRL

My answers:

1. Yes, you should tell them. I know, I know; the thought of telling someone you’re inexperienced before having sex for the first time fills you with anxiety. But you know what will cause you more anxiety? Worrying that

someone — your first someone — is going to realize you’re inexperienced before he can fill you with his dick. Now, you’re still going to feel anxious when you have sex for the first time; a lot of people feel anxious about sex the hundredth time. But pretending you’re someone or something you’re not — pretending you’ve done this 100 times already — is going to make you feel more anxious in the moment than you need to or should. Also, being honest about your inexperience will simultaneously decrease your chances of winding up in bed with someone who wouldn’t want to be with an inexperienced partner and increase your chances of winding up in bed with someone who will be patient and understanding.

2. The right person, i.e., the more sympathetic person, might be older (by a little or a lot), he might be younger (by a little or a lot), or he might be close to your own age (by hours or days or weeks). You’re not looking for the right number, TDG, you’re looking for the right guy — someone you feel comfortable being honest with; someone who’s willing to invest a little time getting to know you; and, most importantly, someone who regards your inexperience as a responsibility. Not a burden, not an opportunity, but a responsibility. Some guys won’t want that responsibility; they’re the wrong guys for you. Some guys won’t be willing to get to know you; they’re the wrong guys for you. Don’t think of guys who pass or even ghost as having rejected you, TDG, think of them as having done you a favor. If the wrong guys get out of your way, TDG, the right guy (or guys) will get your attention.

3. Most people — mildly experienced, moderately inexperienced, severely experienced — meet on dating apps these days. According to the Pew Research Center, one in five partnered adults under the age of 30 met their partners or spouses online. Pew doesn’t have a stat for people who met their last hookup online, but if one in five people your own age met their committed romantic partners online — and one in 10 of all partnered adults met their committed romantic partners online (according to the same study) — then we can safely say that one in way-more-than-five people your age met their last (or first!) hookup online. Get on the dating apps.

4. We’re in the midst of a sex recession. According to a study conducted by Indiana University — a study

conducted just before to the pandemic—one in three men between the ages of 18 and 24 hasn’t had sex in the past year. According to a study conducted by New York University in 2022, 34% of young women are single and 63% of young men are single. Now, some of those single men are unfuckable hate nerds, as comedian Marc Maron famously described them (think guys sitting in front of their computers all day, watching porn, playing video games and attacking women), but they’re not all unfuckable hate nerds. Some of these guys have histories similar to your own; they were shy, slow to launch, and then the pandemic hit. This means there are lots of men out there, including millions of men close to your own age, who are just as inexperienced as you are.

So, instead of being something that complicates your ability to connect with the right guy (or guys), TDG, your inexperience could be something that helps you connect. Don’t put “inexperienced and terrified!” in your profile — don’t lead with it at all — because that could attract the attention of guys seeking to leverage your inexperience against you. No, this is something you’ll want to share with a guy you’ve been texting with for a bit and have a good feeling about. Meet up for a quick coffee in a public place, TDG, and have un-cancellable plans immediately after your date. If the guy passes the vibe check — if he doesn’t come across like an unfuckable hate nerd, if he resembles his photos, and if he doesn’t try to pressure you to cancel the plans you made for after your coffee date — tell him you’re interested in seeing him again and that you’re a pandemic virgin. There’s a pretty good chance he’ll be one too.

5. You’re telling these guys one thing they need to know about you — you’re inexperienced — but their reaction will tell you everything you need to know about them.

Can something count as an affair if you never do anything physical with the other person? I reconnected with an old friend, who is married. At first, it was fairly innocent. We had hooked up a long time ago, but it was kissing only. Years passed, and then we reconnected during the pandemic and began texting. Then the floodgates opened. He confessed he loved me then and loves me still. Then he started describing all the things he wanted to do to me. Then we started describing them together. This has all been via text, but it’s not like sexting. Nothing porn-y. No genital pics. Nothing crude. It’s poetic, it’s erotic, it’s passionate. It’s like the perfect blend of love and sex, and there’s a huge amount of trust, support, friendship, everything you’d ever want in a partner. It feels like it’s love. It feels like I’ve found the person I was supposed to be with, if such a thing exists.

But there are obstacles. First and foremost, as mentioned, he’s married, even though he and his wife—from the way he describes it—married so she could get a green card. Things are tense with her now. Not because of “us.” She doesn’t

know about “us,” and they had issues before there was an “us.” She has anger issues, he says, and is emotionally abusive, but he has no plans to divorce her. He is thinking about buying her a separate place, so they can live apart. I know it’s a cliché: the married man complaining about his marriage to get some on the side. But he’s never made a move to have sex with me in person, which makes him seem more credible. Additional complications: I also have a partner, although we haven’t had a sexual relationship in ages.

My “affair,” if that’s what it is, has been going on for months, but I put the sexting on pause as I felt guilty. But the love part didn’t stop. I want to resume the sexting, even if it’s only talk, but I want to understand what we’re doing and how we might be able to really be together without hurting other people.

SEXLESS IN NEARBY SEATTLE

There’s no “being together,” assuming that’s even something he wants, without leaving your current partners, SINS, and there’s no leaving your current partners without hurting other people — namely, his wife and your partner.

Zooming out for second: What you describe sounds like a pretty unambiguous example of an emotional affair. And here’s the thing about emotional affairs … they take up a lot of space. They eat up a lot of emotional and erotic energy that might otherwise get plowed into an existing marriage or relationship. If you weren’t taking up so much of his time and meeting some important needs, he might be motivated to work on his marriage. If he weren’t taking up so much of your time and meeting some important needs, you might be motivated to work on your relationship. But if two people can honestly say that nothing they do or say will make their existing commitments any better (maybe you’ve tried and tried and nothing has worked) and you don’t have it in you to join hands and jump together (you’re not willing to go through the conflict and chaos of a pair of breakups for something that might not work out) … well, then no one who isn’t married to you would blame you for doing what you need to do to feel alive.

But if his marriage is as awful as he says it is … and your relationship is as sexually unsatisfying as you make it sound … the two people you’re cheating most are yourselves. By staying, you’re cheating yourself out of the chance — and it’s only a chance — that you could have everything you wanted (or come close to having everything you wanted) with one person. Passionate sex, loving words, someone living with and for you, for as long as it lasts.

It’s a difficult choice and there is no easy or obvious answer.

Send

J�i� Q�e�n C�t� N�r�e i� d�s�u�s�o�s a�o�t

l�c�l n�w� t�p�c� o�e� c�c�t�i�s w�t� f�a�u�e� g�e�t� o� t�e Q�e�n C�t� P�d�a�t N�t�o�k�

S�a� t�e c�d�