VOLUME 1: ISSUE 25 NOVEMBER 6 - NOVEMBER 19, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
Connect with free arts and culture experiences for all ages, close to home.
CULTURE
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BLOCKS
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Charlotte’s Cultural Pulse
NEWS & CULTURE STAFF
PUBLISHER • Justin LaFrancois jlafrancois@qcnerve.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Ryan Pitkin rpitkin@qcnerve.com STAFF WRITER • Pat Moran pmoran@qcnerve.com ART DIRECTOR • Dana Vindigni dvindigni@qcnerve.com MARKETING MANAGER • Jayme Johnson jjohnson@qcnerve.com
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To place an advertisement please call 980-349-3029 Queen City Nerve welcomes submissions of all kinds. Please send submissions or story pitches to rpitkin@qcnerve.com. Queen City Nerve is published every other Wednesday by Nerve Media Productions LLC. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. Queen City Nerve is located in Advent Coworking at 933 Louise Ave., Charlotte, NC, 28204. First Issue of Queen CIty Nerve free. Each additional issue $5.
6 Up In Arms by Jordan Green American fighters bring war and murder home from Ukraine front 4 Editor’s Note by Ryan Pitkin 8 Keep It 100 by Shameika Rhymes 9 The Scanner by Ryan Pitkin
ARTS
10 The Lucky Ones by Ryan Pitkin UNC Charlotte dance students confront shooting trauma in new performance
LIFELINE
12 How not to kill your social life
MUSIC
14 Give Us a Reason by Pat Moran Reason|Define is hard rock with a bright future 18 Soundwave
FOOD & DRINK
22 Lay the S’MACdown by Kassidy Brown Macaroni-and-cheese fest puts chefs to the test 24 The Buzz
LIFESTYLE
26 Aerin It Out by Aerin Spruill 26 Sudoku 27 Crossword 28 Horoscope 30 Savage Love
Cover Design by: Dana Vindigni
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EDITOR’S NOTE FOR THE ARTS However they’re funded, creatives make an impact
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BY RYAN PITKIN
AS I WRITE THIS, it is Monday, Nov. 4, late in the afternoon just before the paper goes to the printer. By the time I see the paper in front of me early on Wednesday morning, I’ll already know whether the arts tax passed on Tuesday. In fact, by then I’ll know whether or not I voted for it. I’m not going to bang you over the head with more coverage of a tax that will already be decided by the time this issue comes out. In the last two weeks, we’ve covered the arts tax with in-depth features, op-eds representing both sides of the argument and even a full-fledged debate on our podcast, Nooze Hounds. Consider your head banged. What I do want to talk about is the importance of arts in our community. I think most people agree on how important the arts are, but as the editor of a paper that focuses specifically on news, arts and community — oftentimes connecting the three — I feel I get a closer perspective than some. Take this issue’s Arts feature story, for example. I wrote about a new dance piece called “Luck of the Young” that a group of 12 UNC Charlotte dance students will perform at the university’s 2019 Fall Dance Concert between Nov. 14-17. I didn’t know what to expect when I planned to visit the group and their instructor, professor Audrey Baran, at a recent rehearsal, as I describe in the story on page 6. All I knew was that the concert would include performances based on pop culture, Afro-Brazilian dance, the work of Frida Kahlo and current events, among other things. In a phone interview before my visit, concert coordinator Gretchen Alterowitz told me about Baran’s piece, which is inspired by the April 30 shooting that took the lives of two of the group’s schoolmates. I went into the story wanting to look at how you put together a dance piece based on “current events” and came out with a whole new perspective on the power of expression. After watching the students go through a physically demanding, emotional run-through of the performance, I was able to speak with them in a group. What immediately struck me was how thankful each of the dancers seemed to be for the ability to
use their passion to confront trauma that some of them never even knew they had. One sophomore dancer named Erika Rush told me she wanted me to know just how important the two-plus-month process behind the 14-minute dance routine had been to her healing process. “I’m very thankful to Audrey and the dancers that we have dance and art as therapy, especially from when the event happened, I didn’t really deal with it, I would say,” Rush told me. “But I’m just thankful that we have this space to let traumatic events be a catalyst for us to overcome different situations. I’m really thankful for the opportunity.” Leah Adams, a sophomore ballet dancer who said this is her first experience with contemporary dancer, was blown away by the emotional impact of the routine. “It’s been really interesting to see how intrinsically linked the emotions are to the movement, because all of the movement came from emotions and I’ve never had that before with dance,” Adams said. “It’s always been like codified ballet that’s just passed down through generations, but this is just based on how we felt. This whole thing has been a new experience for me.” Other dancers, whose quotes you can read in the story, came out and told me they may never have confronted their true feelings about the shooting if not for their experience preparing this piece. That got me thinking about the other arts stories we’ve had a chance to cover during this first year of Queen City Nerve’s existence: a group of homeless people given a voice through theatre in the StreetSmARTS program, Rosalia Torres-Weiner using an app to tell the story of the immigrants she paints, Joe Kuhlmann at The Evening Muse using his venue to host musicians, poets and comedians discussing mental health at R U OK, CLT? It’s easy to scoff at “the arts” as a scene full of naive idealists doing hippy-dippy shit with no real impact, but in a banking city like Charlotte where so many folks are only concerned with where they’re going to eat, one needs to only look closer to see that art is where the heart is. RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
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UP IN ARMS
American fighters bring war and murder home from Ukraine front
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O
BY JORDAN GREEN
N JULY 13, 2013, the day after his son’s birth, Army Specialist Craig Lang left Fort Bliss without notifying his commanders. Armed with a handgun, he drove 1,800 miles to his wife’s house southwest of Raleigh. A month earlier, a Harnett County district court judge had signed off on a domestic violence protective order based on Lang’s threat to go AWOL and come to her home to kill her, a plan he had also shared with fellow soldiers on base. A couple days later, according to his wife’s testimony during a custody hearing, Lang showed up at her house “with a gun and threatened to kill her neighbors and other family members.” More than six years later, Lang, 29, and another U.S. Army veteran, Alex Zwiefelhofer, 22, are wanted on federal charges related to the murder of a Florida couple during a robbery. Zwiefelhofer, a Wisconsin native who was assigned to Fort Bragg near Fayetteville, went AWOL in 2016, and joined Lang as a foreign fighter with the Right Sector militia in Ukraine. Later, the two unsuccessfully attempted to fight as mercenaries in South Sudan and Venezuela. After Zwiefelhofer and Lang were prevented from entering South Sudan, a customs agent and an FBI special agent interviewed him as he was flying into Charlotte Douglas International Airport and found child pornography on his cell phone. By the time his hearing came up in Mecklenburg County court in early 2018, Zwiefelhofer had disappeared again. Lang and Zwiefelhofer’s criminal misadventures highlight a growing concern by the FBI about young, white men, and in particular military service members’ attraction to the Ukrainian war zone as a hotbed of far-right radicalization with the potential to feed dangerous extremists prone to causing violence and instability back into the United States. An infantry soldier in the U.S. Army who was
Alex Zwiefelhofer has expressed white supremacist views on social media.
stationed at Fort Riley in Kansas and was charged in a separate federal criminal complaint with distributing information relating to explosives, destructive devices and weapons of mass destruction is also linked to Lang. The complaint alleges that Jarrett William Smith, 22, communicated by Facebook with Lang in June 2016 about Smith’s interest in joining Azov Battalion, another militia similar to Right Sector. Smith, who had not yet enlisted in the U.S. Army at the time, told Lang, according to court documents: “No former military experience, but if I cannot find a slot in Ukraine by October I’ll be going into the Army…. To fight is what I want to do. I’m willing to listen, learn and train. But to work in firearms is fine by me too.” Lang reportedly responded: “Alright, I’ll forward you over to the guy that screens people; he’ll most likely add you soon.” Lang added, “Also, as a prewarning, if you come to this unit and the government comes to shut down the unit you will be asked to fight. You may also be asked to kill certain people who become on the bad graces of certain people.” The U.S. government alleges that Smith and Lang met at Fort Bliss on at least one occasion. The base, located on the New Mexico-Texas border, was Smith’s first assignment; Lang was discharged from the military two years prior to Smith’s enlistment.
PHOTO COURTESY OF FACEBOOK
Later, in December 2018, the government alleges that Smith led a Facebook group chat that included Lang. Smith reportedly said, “Oh yeah, I got knowledge of IEDs for days. We can make cell phone IEDs in the style of the Afghans. I can teach you that.” In August 2019, the complaint alleges, Smith told a confidential source cooperating with the FBI that “a major American news network” would be an ideal target for a vehicle bomb. In September, at the prompting of the source, Smith contacted an undercover FBI agent through Telegram, a messaging app favored by far-right extremists, and advised him on how to build a homemade bomb to assassinate a politician, mentioning then-Democratic presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke as a potential target. In addition to the news media and progressive politicians, Smith also had antifascist activists in his sights: Signing off on a Sept. 27 detention order, a U.S. magistrate in Kansas cited evidence that Smith once texted someone that his “bucket list” included a desire “to KO an antifa member” to support that releasing him would endanger the community. Smith has pleaded not guilty. Marilyn Mayo, senior research fellow at the Anti-Defamation League Center on Extremism, said the fact that Azov Battalion is taking concrete action is appealing to American white-power activists. “What they’re saying is, ‘Here’s a group in
Ukraine that’s going beyond ideology,’” Mayo said. “They’re a militia group that’s actively recruiting for the cause. That’s appealing to people who want to promote white nationalism or preserve EuropeanAmerican culture. The fact that they’re fighting is in and of itself important.” The FBI has taken notice, too. During an Oct. 30 hearing of the House Homeland Security Committee, Rep. Lou Correa (D-Calif.) pressed FBI Director Christopher Wray on the matter of domestic terrorists traveling to Ukraine for training “and coming back to do God knows what.” “I think you’re on to a trend that we’re watching very carefully,” Wray responded. “We are starting to see racially motivated violent extremists connecting with like-minded individuals overseas online certainly, and in some instances, we have seen people travel overseas to train.” In an affidavit filed to support a criminal complaint against members of the Rise Above Movement, which violently assaulted counter-protesters during the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, in August 2017, FBI Special Agent Scott J. Bierwirth described Azov as “a paramilitary unit of the Ukrainian National Guard which is known for its association with neo-Nazi ideology and use of Nazi symbolism, and which is believed to have participated in training and radicalizing United Statesbased white supremacy organizations.” Azov and its political wing, National Corps, have avidly courted far-right extremists in the United States, particularly those with a military background, to promote their own geopolitical aims. Alongside the Right Sector, Azov promotes an ultranationalist agenda and seeks to fend off the influence of both Russia and the European Union over Ukraine. The UK-based media organization Bellingcat has reported that Olena Semenyaka, a spokesperson for Azov, said during a 2015 podcast in Russian: “We are not resigning ourselves to the boundaries of thinking in terms of single region. We defend not only the Ukrainian nation, national identity, but also the Slavic element, the European element, and in the end — the white race.” The Right Sector, the militia that Lang and Zwiefelhofer joined, maintains a similar stance. In a February 2014 YouTube video, Dmytro Yarosh, then the militia’s leader, said, “We are fighting… For a great Ukrainian and European Reconquista…. Everything is only beginning! From our Maidan [the wave of protests that resulted in the resignation of pro-Russian president Viktor Yanukovych], the rebirth of Kyivan-Rus/Ukraine commences, the rebirth of Europe commences.” Semenyaka told Bellingcat in January that
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“Americans with army experience” who understand the conflict with Russia and the strategic aim of building an alliance of Eastern and Central European countries as a counterweight to both Russia and the European Union “are welcome here,”particularly if they could help establish contacts with the American military. American white power activists have responded to a call for an international alliance. Members of the Rise Above Movement traveled to Germany, Italy and Ukraine in the spring of 2018 to celebrate Adolf Hitler’s birthday and network with European fascists. An Instagram post later showed members meeting with Semenyaka, according to the FBI. The Paneuropa Conference, a rightwing international gathering held in Kyiv in October 2018, attracted Greg Johnson, an American white supremacist with longstanding ties to infamous white supremacist Richard Spencer. Speaking alongside representatives of farright movements in Italy, Sweden, Norway and Germany, Johnson said, “I think what’s happening in Ukraine is a model and an inspiration for nationalists of all white nations, and I wanted to learn as much as possible about what you’re doing here, and see as much as possible. And I’m enormously impressed.” Johnson continued by saying that Ukrainian ultranationalists were “building an alternative social order” that needs to be replicated “in all white countries.” He added that white power activists around the world need “to have some kind of organizational nucleus that can demonstrate that it can do all the things necessary to secure a society’s future, because that will give us the ability to actually take power someday.” Craig Lang wrote on Facebook on June 23, 2016 — the same day he counseled Jarrett William Smith on how to join Azov — that he had come to Ukraine a year earlier even knowing that “I may face jail time when I return. I did so because I felt I had to do something.” Lang wrote, “I left my family who to be honest has a lot on their plate and would like to have me home,” — a
statement that should be regarded with skepticism considering that as recently as April 2015 a district court judge in Harnett County had renewed the protective order against him based on the finding that his ex-wife believed he would “act on threats to harm her and/or take the minor child away” from her. In the post, Lang declared, “My passion is fighting, a gift from God ... I came to Ukraine over a year ago having seen the Euromaidan, having seen the annexation of Crimea, having seen the war in Donbas. I came fully understanding the hazards and risks involved. I came because I wanted to help, because I have a responsibility to God to help in any way that I can.” He closed by saying he was confident that Ukraine would “one day return to its former glory, and that my children who may not know me will one day understand why I left home. May they be able to walk in the streets of Kyiv having known what their father defended and the struggle of our second home.” There is no direct evidence that Lang has specifically espoused white supremacist views. In an interview with a reporter for Vice, also in 2016, Lang presented himself as politically conservative, describing himself as a “strict constitutionalist” and someone who “despises communism.” Other reports paint a picture of a troubled person. Lang, who served in Afghanistan and Iraq during his enlistment in the U.S. Army, testified before a Ukrainian court on Sept. 28 that he has problems with vision in his left eye and suffers frequent headaches as a result of a combat injury. “Basically, I was in a position,” he said. “A round came in. An explosion caused a brain injury.” His ex-wife testified during a custody hearing that Lang had threatened suicide multiple times, including once when he was hospitalized by his fellow soldiers at Fort Bliss for threatening to shoot himself in April 2013. Prior to serving with the Right Sector in the summer of 2016, Lang fought with another militia
Craig Lang returned to Ukraine, but may yet be extradited to America.
PHOTO COURTESY OF FACEBOOK
“THEY’RE A MILITIA GROUP THAT’S ACTIVELY RECRUITING FOR THE CAUSE. THAT’S APPEALING TO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO PROMOTE WHITE NATIONALISM OR PRESERVE EUROPEAN-AMERICAN CULTURE.” Marilyn Mayo, senior research fellow, Anti-Defamation League Center on Extremism
comprised mainly of foreign fighters — the Georgia National League. A Ukrainian news documentary broadcast in April 2016 show Lang and another American, Brian Boyenger, an American who had served with the U.S. Army’s 101st Airborne Division as a sniper in the Iraq war, attending a swearing-in ceremony and signing contracts, traveling in a military vehicle together and surveying a battlefront together. Boyenger, who now lives in Winston-Salem, acknowledged in an interview with Queen City Nerve that he and Lang fought together in Ukraine. “We served together in the Ukrainian Army for a few months,” Boyenger said. “Afterwards, he left and went on to do his own thing, and I have not had much contact with him since then. These allegations are as much a surprise to me as to everyone else.” Mamuka Mamulashvili, the commander of the Georgia National Legion, told Queen City Nerve that all of the foreign fighters under his command signed contracts with the Ukraine Army, underwent security service testing and checked in with their respective embassies, contrasting his unit with Right Sector and Azov, which he characterized as
“volunteer battalions.” Mamulashvili characterized Lang in a Facebook message as “a very good soldier” who “never had any inclination to Nazism or racism.” Of his own organization, Mamulashvili said, “We do not tolerate racists, Nazis or any kind of xenophobes. You can be black, white, Arab, Israeli, [as long as] you agree that Russia is [the] aggressor and occupier.” Mamulashvili said the Georgia National Legion’s entry into the conflict between Ukraine and Russia reciprocated Ukraine’s commitment of volunteers to support his country during the Russian-Georgian war of 1991-1992. Mamulashvili said he fought as a child soldier in that war. After Lang left the Georgia National League to join the Right Sector in 2016, he met Alex Zwiefelhofer, who went AWOL just 17 months into his enlistment in the U.S. Army, first attempting without success to join the French Foreign Legion and then landing in Ukraine. In contrast to Lang, there is no ambiguity about Zwiefelhofer’s ideology. A September 2018 post
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KEEP IT 100 PLAYING GOD Take ‘em to church BY SHAMEIKA RHYMES
Dear Shameika, As a woman in her late 30s, it’s been hard finding quality men to date. So, I finally met a guy. He likes me and I like him. He checks off a lot of boxes on my list. He has a career, goals, is consistent and a host of other things going for him. Some of the boxes he doesn’t check are not that significant ... except for one. I am a Christian. I believe in The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit, but he doesn’t. I would say he’s agnostic. Growing up, I’ve always heard about being equally yoked and what not. So, I’m wondering if this is reason enough to not pursue a relationship with someone? Should I go ahead and end things now? UNEQUALLY YOKED
Dear Unequally Yoked, Girl. Girl. Girl. Let me stand up and do a praise dance for you that you met someone that sounds like he texts back and doesn’t ghost! And you threw in the C-word: consistency? Someone bring me my smelling salts, I might faint over this unicorn of a man. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s dive in. First let me break this down for the folks reading because you don’t know what you don’t know. Agnostic refers to someone who doesn’t know whether there is a higher power or if such a thing is even possible, so they live their life adhering to the standards they think is best, while an atheist refers to someone who does not believe in the existence of God or a higher power. All hearts and minds clear about the definition? Good, let’s move forward, shall we? I think it’s great that you met someone that checks off most of the boxes on your list, but at this age, I didn’t know we were supposed to still have those lists. I mean, the dating pool shrinkage is real, but I digress. You say the biggest issue is the religion factor. Have you discussed this with him? Perhaps he just wasn’t raised in a household that made him go to church every Sunday for hours and back on Wednesday for Bible Study and any other day of the week for revival, church meetings, choir practice, and anything else the pastor deems necessary. As we get older, many of us become more curious about our
spirituality whether it is praying to Beyonce or Black Jesus, but there are others that aren’t aware because they haven’t been exposed to it. Perhaps inviting potential bae to church would be a good start. That would allow him to see why your religion is important to you, but don’t force it down his throat, because lawd knows those communion crackers are drier than the desert at times, and you don’t want him to choke and run. With that being said, you also cannot compromise your own beliefs. What will ultimately end up happening is the longer you hang around him, the more your emotional turmoil will bubble up and at some point it’s going to erupt and it won’t be pretty. You’ll be calling him all kinds of debbils and, as things come up in the relationship, the division will be obvious. You mentioned being equally yoked, and putting on my Pastor Iyanla hat, 2 Corinthians 6:14 does refer to being unequally yoked, and if you two are headed down the marriage path, then yes it could be a cause for a Christian such as yourself to fall away from your religion. Why? Because compromises would have to be made in all priority areas, such as quality time, money, energy, etc. That’s not to mention if you have kids. Ultimately this boils down to whether or not you see a future with this man. If no, then just have fun and participate in some fornication. But if you do want to pursue this further, then you have to have that serious conversation with yourself — and with him. Is your religion rooted in who you are as a person? Does it define your identity? If you can convert him, what does that change? Take some time and ask yourself: How would I feel if he felt this way about me and wanted me to change my beliefs? Perhaps this is the perfect opportunity for you to shape your own traditions. Dating is hard, and throwing religion in the mix makes it harder, but it’s not impossible. Open your heart and mouth and communicate your concerns. You just may find that your deep connection will make you ball up that check list. Good Luck! If you have a dilemma you need help solving, drop me a line: shameika@themofochronicles.com
SCANNER BY RYAN PITKIN
HEAR NO EVIL Police responded to the Crest on Providence Apartments in south Charlotte after an ongoing argument between neighbors over a parking spot came to a head. According to the report, apartment staff called police after a resident removed the handicap sign from a parking spot and placed it on their porch. The suspect told police that they removed the sign because a neighbor who always uses the spot only has an auditory disability and the suspect didn’t think the person should get preferred parking due to deafness.
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RED HANDED Police got a two-for-one deal for shoplifters at Target at the Metropolitan in Uptown recently. Officers responded to the store in response to a shoplifting call after a man grabbed up $44 worth of speaker technology, $43 worth of Dragonball Z toys and a $13 Camelbak bottle and tried to leave the store without paying. While officers were there dealing with that thief, they became aware of another larceny in progress, in which a separate suspect was trying to steal two PlayStation 4 games. Another Target in Steele Creek was … well … targeted for another type of crime on a recent morning. Officers responded to the store on Walker Branch Drive in southwest Charlotte after staff reported that for a whole-ass 30 minutes between 9:45 and 10:15 a.m. a man was walking around the store masturbating. CLEANED OUT A 34-year-old University City man had to make an embarrassing admission to police when he reported a recent attempted robbery. The man told officers that he hired an escort through a website and the woman tried to rob him of his possessions. He told officers he caught her trying to run away with his stuff at 11 a.m. but was able to catch her and get his shit back. In an unrelated incident, a 38-year-old man living in the Sedgewood neighborhood reported that an unknown suspect stole some valuables from his home at some point during the span of a week. Among the items stolen: $5,700 in cash, a $16,000 Rolex watch and eight gold coins worth $500 each. FIRE FIGHTING Police weren’t the first responders to a scene in the Fourth Ward in Uptown on a recent afternoon, but perhaps they should have been. CMPD
and CFD responded to a call about someone burning things behind a Dunkin’ Donuts on North Graham Street, and when the fire department reached the lot first, they found the suspect, who immediately began trying to assault them. Officers arrived and arrested the suspect before anybody was injured. IF I HAD A GUN A 61-year-old man must be regretting his decision about which moving company he used to move items between his Aiken, South Carolina, home and his storage unit on South Tryon Street. The man reported that the suspect stole four guns — a 9-millimeter handgun, a 12-gauge shotgun, an AR15 and a .22 caliber pistol — and $1,500 worth of ammunition while helping him move. MIDDLE SCHOOL HIGH Police responded to Albemarle Road Middle School in east Charlotte on a recent afternoon after finding that one student’s lunchtime snack wasn’t fit for in-class consumption. School staff seized “one edible marijuna muffin” from the kid, and police later seized a stun gun from him as well. THIS SHIT IS BANANAS Police responded to a 7-Eleven on Eastway Drive in east Charlotte after a suspect went crazy in the store, assaulting a man, threatening a woman and damaging property. According to a 37-year-old man who was in the store at the time, the suspect came in and struck him with an object, then threatened the woman. He then attacked the cash register, doing $1,000 in damage, then grabbed $20 worth of donuts and $20 worth of bananas and left the store. TAKE THE CANNOLI A local realtor was alarmed recently when he visited one of his properties in the Shamrock neighborhood and found a loaded revolver sitting on the front porch. The man called police, suspecting that there was a break-in, but officers responded and found that there was, in fact, no break-in. As it turned out, the owner of the gun came forward as a 30-year-old man who lived nearby and “advised that he left the firearm at the residence after attempting to walk home the previous night,” though it does not go on to explain how that makes any sense. All Scanner entries are pulled from CMPD reports. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty.
on Zwiefelhofer’s Facebook page, which remains active, depicts a T-shirt with text expressing classic eco-fascist sentiments: “Help more bees. Plant more trees. Save the seas. Shoot refugees.” In 2017, according to federal court documents, Lang and Zwiefelhofer traveled to Kenya with hopes of fighting against Al Shaabab, an Islamist group based in East Africa. While attempting to enter South Sudan, they were detained by authorities and deported back to the United States. When an FBI special agent joined a Customs & Border Protection official to interview Zwiefelhofer at Charlotte Douglas International Airport on Aug. 1, 2017, they discovered child pornography on his cell phone. According to the federal complaint, Zwiefelhofer was charged under North Carolina law with five counts of third-degree sexual exploitation of a minor, and booked into Mecklenburg County Jail, where he stayed until he bonded out on Nov. 16 and returned to live with his father in Wisconsin. By that time, he had been AWOL for more than a year, although he was still formally enlisted in the U.S. Army. Zwiefelhofer was scheduled to appear in Mecklenburg County Court on April 30, 2018 to plead in the child porn charges. Instead of returning to North Carolina to face his charges, federal court documents indicate Zwiefelhofer rode a Greyhound bus in early April from Minneapolis to West Palm Beach, Florida, where he joined up with Lang and they continued to their final destination in Miami. FBI Special Agent James M. Roncinske wrote in an affidavit signed on Aug. 16 that he believes Lang and Zwiefelhofer traveled to Florida with intention of committing crimes “to obtain U.S. currency to fund travel to Venezuela to participate in an armed conflict against the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela.” After checking in at the La Quinta Inn near Miami International Airport on April 5, 2018, the FBI investigation noted that Lang took a selfie of himself wearing a button-down T-shirt with navy and light blue hibiscus flowers and leaves printed throughout, with Zwiefelhofer lying on a bed in the background while wearing a black Hawaiian-style martini glass shirt. The FBI would later look at Zwiefelhofer’s Google records and discover the following search phrases during the time he and Lang were in Miami: “Miami ArmsList, Classified Miami Handguns, Hotwire Boat Ignition Switch, Cheapest Hotels Miami, How to Smuggle Myself to South America, as well as multiple searches of videos to include a particular scene from a movie in which subjects were shown
PATRIOT FROM PG. 7 inside a vehicle and then ambushed by multiple shooters.” Investigators would later link an ArmsList posting made from the Miami area on April 7 to Zwiefelhofer. The seller offered multiple Glocks, 9-millimeter handguns and upper and lower receivers for AR-15s. At 12:10 a.m., a man named Danny Lorenzo from the Tampa area texted the number listed to inquire about the guns. Within an hour, the parties settled on a price of $3,000. At 7:12 p.m., Danny Lorenzo and his wife, Deanna Lorenzo, left home, traveling to meet a man they knew only as “Jeremy” to transact the gun purchase. Meanwhile, the cell phone associated with Zwiefelhofer began to ping out of Miami at about 7:48 p.m. as it headed westward across the Everglades toward Florida’s southwest coast. At 10:37 p.m., Danny Lorenzo texted the seller to notify him that he was at the appointed rendezvous, a church off Interstate 75 in the village of Estero, just south of Fort Myers. At 10:55 p.m., the Lee County Sheriff’s Office received multiple 911 calls reporting rapid gunfire in the area. Deputies later found Danny Lorenzo lying dead on the ground near the passenger side of the truck, and Deanna Lorenzo seated in the front passenger seat, also dead. Crime scene technicians collected more than 63 spent shell casings. “Based on the trajectory and precision of the shot groupings at the scene, it appeared that the shooting was perpetrated by at least two suspects,” Agent Roncinke wrote in his affidavit. “One suspect fired from the rear into the passenger side of the truck where [Deanna Lorenzo] was seated, and the other suspect fired towards the front passenger side of the truck where [Danny Lorenzo] was located.” Lang and Zwiefelhofer face multiple charges related to the murder of the Lorenzos. Zwiefelhofer was arrested by a U.S. deputy marshal in Madison, Wisc. on Sept. 6. Lang would later return to Ukraine. He denies the charges, according to a report in Kyiv Post. Mamulashvili told Queen City Nerve that during his second tour of duty, Lang served with the Right Sector, but stayed at the Georgia National Legion’s base when he was in Kyiv. Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty is reporting that a Ukrainian court ordered Lang into custody on Oct. 8 amid uncertainty about whether he will be extradited to the United States. INFO@QCNERVE.COM
UNC CHARLOTTE 2019 FALL DANCE CONCERT Nov. 14-17, times vary; $8-$18; Belk Theater, Robinson Hall for the Performing Arts, 9201 University City Blvd.; tinyurl.com/UNCCFallDance
UNC Charlotte student dancers rehearse their new piece, “Luck of the Young.”
THE LUCKY ONES
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
UNC Charlotte dance students confront shooting trauma in new performance
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T
BY RYAN PITKIN
HE PIECE BEGINS with six dancers lying on the floor, two more stand over them in an embrace. It’s a loving embrace, but not in the sense that it looks like your average hug. It’s more an act of love in a dangerous time, a supportive embrace in which one dancer helps another limp away from the front of the stage. Another dancer repeatedly runs past the pair as they struggle together. The runner hops over the bodies of those on the ground, four of whom eventually rise, leaving two lying still. All six of the women lying on the floor represent victims of gun violence, and not in a broad sense; they represent actual people who were shot just six months prior on the UNC Charlotte campus in a terrifying act that occurred just a short walk from where this team of 12 dancers has been developing and rehearsing their routine for the last two months. I’m watching the chilling rehearsal in a Robinson Hall studio on campus, where the team will soon wrap up two months of work in the studio and bring it to the stage for tech week, a period during which the dancers will hold dress rehearsals
and fine-tune the performance to fit the Belk Theater stage in Robinson Hall. The team, led by choreographer and parttime UNC Charlotte dance professor Audrey Baran, will present the piece, titled “Luck of the Young,” at the UNC Charlotte Department of Dance’s 2019 Fall Dance Concert, which will feature four performances from Nov. 14-17 at Robinson Hall. The student showcase will feature a wide range of other pieces, including one based on Freddie Mercury, another based on the work of Frida Kahlo, and an Afro-Brazilian dance performance, but none that touch on subject matter so close to the heart of the UNC Charlotte family as “Luck of the Young” does. All 12 dancers were students on April 30 when a former student walked into a classroom in the Kennedy Building and opened fire, killing Ellis Parlier and Riley Howell and injuring four others. They say the rehearsals have been exhaustive but therapeutic. For Baran, it was something she knew she needed to do.
“It’s a little bit different of a piece for me because it’s so specific and it’s about one event and one thing, whereas most of my work is a little more abstract, but I just felt called to make this piece,” she says following the rehearsal. “I know that may sound corny, but I just knew I needed to make this piece, and I feel like it’s no accident that these 12 dancers were cast and they were all students at the time.” After auditioning and confirming that they would be available for Baran’s twice-weekly rehearsals, the group met for the first time in late August, when she told them they would be developing a contemporary dance piece based on a shooting that had happened only four months prior to that time. She gave each dancer a way out, but nobody wanted it. “Knowing this was going to be a heavy content process, I wanted dancers that could handle that,” Baran says. “I told them the first day, ‘If this is too much for you, it’s fine. There’s no questions asked if you don’t want to do it,’ and they were all in.” The team got to work, going through a freewriting process in which they simply took up a blank document and started writing their feelings
about what happened on April 30. Many say they hadn’t truly confronted the emotions involved with a mass shooting happening on their campus until they sat down to do the freewriting. From there, each dancer chose three words or phrases from their freewriting that best summed up their feelings. From those, Baran made a list of 35 terms that she used as inspiration to choreograph the piece. She still has the piece of paper on which she wrote them all down. The three words that overlapped the most were fear, anger and community. Other words on the list include energy, surprised, vulnerability and emotional buffering. “They each had their own personal phrase and I picked and chose from them to make certain movements, and then they also offered their favorite or the most resonant for them to make into larger phrases,” Baran says. “There’s a lot of movement that’s on the cutting room floor but was still integral to making the piece and making the content of it.” Most of the dozen dancers agree that the process as a whole was a means to confront the trauma related to the shooting. Some say they may have never dealt with it if not through this medium.
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
“I TOLD THEM THE FIRST DAY, ‘IF THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU, IT’S FINE,’ ... AND THEY WERE ALL IN.”
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Audrey Baran, UNC Charlotte Department of Dance
“A lot of us said that first time when we experimented with the words that it was kind of therapeutic, almost like we hadn’t thought about it or fully accepted what had happened,” says sophomore Bella Parks. “I think if we hadn’t done this piece at all, I might have not necessarily accepted it, but I think using our art form to feel it out helped.” Junior Carmen Ballard was one of three in the group who wasn’t on campus when the shooting occurred. She echoes Parks’ sentiments when she says she may have never seen the need to dive into what emotions she felt about the incident until she began work on “Luck of the Young.” “When it first happened, I wasn’t there, I was just reading stuff about it on the news and people texting me about it and stuff, and then over time I went home for the summer and everything like that kind of got pushed back, so I never had thought about it in relation to me,” Ballard says. “So when we really started doing the dance, I really started thinking about it, figuring out how I felt about it.” The 14-minute piece takes its toll on the dancers every time they perform it. Baran has limited them to one run-through per studio rehearsal. It’s a physically tasking routine, and that’s before you factor in the
emotions that each dancer has put into it. “The physicality of the piece and actually embodying the emotion really takes a lot of energy, endurance and stamina that you have to build up,” says senior Heather Kincaid. “For me it comes from the heart, like I can feel it, it’s something real, so every time I do it, the more I feel it, the more I embody the emotions.” That type of emotional work is bound to bring a group of college students closer, and though the 12 dancers barely knew each other going in — some had taken classes together but none were close friends — they now see themselves as members of a group. For example, the 12 of them went together to one of the listening sessions that the university has hosted to find out in what ways they can pay their respects to the victims of the April shooting, an experience some say brought them closer as a group. In all, it’s clear that this piece won’t be forgotten by any of the dancers once the final curtain drops on the 2019 Fall Dance Concert. At the rehearsal I attend, the group’s usual warm-up — a routine called flocking that involves improvised movements in duets and trios — quickly devolves into a full-blown dance circle, in which each
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
dancer is welcome to take their turn. When it’s over, it strikes Baran how nobody would have felt that type of freedom with each other just two months before. “That’s been part of the gratifying experience for me just to see this medium and this piece strengthening them, not only as individuals and dancers and artists but also as a collective,” she says. “Whether you dance again together or hang out together, there’s something nice about what has happened here.” To score the piece, Baran used an EP by experimental electronic trio Son Lux called Yesterday’s Wake. Though she doesn’t often use lyrical songs for her pieces, the lyrics of the title track read like they came straight from one of the dance team’s writing exercises. “It’s a bloody moon, it’s a dirty earth/ We found our way to the end of youth/ It’s a whispered voice
now piercing through/ It’s a brighter wound, it’s a brighter wound, it’s a brighter wound,” Son Lux’s Ryan Lott sings. “I’m not ready for the day/ I’m still caught in yesterday’s wake/ It’s plain to believe but it’s hard to see/ From within the shadow comes a light.” It’s a dark song of hope that fits “Luck of the Young” perfectly. It also goes along with the message that Baran says she wants to send through the piece. “My takeaway from it, and what I hope people take away from the piece, is that it’s tragic that these young people have to live with this,” she says. “That’s their reality and that’s their fear of going to class — and for all of us, going to an airport, to a movie theater — this is something we have to think about all the time, that sort of robbed innocence that they used to have.” RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
COMMUNITIES IN CHARLOTTE: CATAWBA TRADITIONS DR. STEPHEN CRISWELL WILL DISCUSS THE HISTORY AND CULTURE OF THE CATAWBA INDIANS, WITH PARTICULAR EMPHASIS ON POTTERY CRAFT.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 12 | 6:00 P.M. LEVINE MUSEUM OF THE NEW SOUTH TICKETS ARE $15 AND INCLUDES PROGRAM, DINNER AND A CASH BAR.
MUSEUMOFTHENEWSOUTH.ORG
WEDNESDAY, NOV. 6TH ELTON JOHN: FAREWELL YELLOW BRICK ROAD
What: Long before rehab, hair plugs and this retirement tour, Elton John became a pop juggernaut with his 1973 album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, a flawless amalgam of rock, glam, Tin Pan Alley and prog. It’s fitting that Reggie Dwight’s liveperformance swan song references his critical and cultural high water mark. More: $233 and up; 8 p.m.; Spectrum Center, 333 E. Trade St.; spectrumcentercharlotte.com
THURSDAY, NOV. 7TH
‘MACBETH’
What: By the pricking of my thumbs Verdi’s opera quickly comes. In 1865 Italian maestro Giuseppe Verdi turned Shakespeare’s greatest tragedy into the perfect confluence of horror and beauty — a ghostly, gore-spattered tale of a murderous husband with a mind full of scorpions and his ambitious wife who can’t get rid of stubborn blood stains. More: $22 and up; Nov. 7-10, times vary; Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.; operacarolina.org
FRIDAY, NOV. 8TH
LIFELINE
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NOV. 6TH - NOV. 12TH
JIM NORTON
What: Casual comedy fans don’t know Jim Norton; his jokes are too raunchy for a primetime sitcom. But Norton has been hammering away at the stand-up and radio/podcasting scenes for about 20 years now, and he’s one of the best doing it. You’re just going to have to take out word for it. More: $25-$80; Nov. 8-9, times vary; Comedy Zone, 900 NC Music Factory Blvd.; cltcomedyzone.com
SATURDAY, NOV. 9TH
TASTE OF CUBA: FIESTA
What: The traveling ¡Cuba! exhibition takes you on an interactive tour of the island nation’s culture, daily life and biodiversity. Discovery Place kicks it all off with this fiesta featuring traditional Cuban libations, music by Johnny Conga, dancing and a menu featuring Elena Ruz, panque de Jamaica, empanaditas de chorizo and more. More: $45; 6:30 p.m.; Discovery Place, 301 N. Tryon St.; discoveryplace.org
SUNDAY, NOV. 10TH
HBCU CULTURE HOMECOMING BAND SHOWCASE
What: If you’ve ever been to a football game hosted by a Historically Black College or University, you know halftime is not a time to stock up on snacks. HBCU bands have a tendency to outshine their respective football teams; they’re that good. This showcase features bands from Winston-Salem State and North Carolina A&T universities with four other out-of-state bands. More: $20.95 and up; 5 p.m.; Bojangles’ Coliseum, 2700 E. Independence Blvd.; boplex.com
MONDAY, NOV. 11TH MERCURY TRANSITS THE SUN
What: Who wouldn’t want to wake up at 7:30 a.m. on a Monday morning to stare at the sun? Join WBTV meteorologist Eric Thomas and the Charlotte Amateur Astronomers Club as they use solar-filtered telescopes to watch Mercury as it crosses the face of the sun for the last time (as viewable from North America) until 2029. More: Free; 7:36 a.m.-1:04 p.m.; First Ward Park, 301 E. 7th St.; charlotteastronomers.org/
TUESDAY, NOV. 12TH NEW SOUTH FOR THE NEW SOUTHERNER: CATAWBA TRADITIONS
What: Who were the first inhabitants of our area? Dr. Stephen Criswell, director of Native American Studies at University of South Carolina Lancaster, discusses history and culture of the Catawba Indians, with particular emphasis on pottery craft. It’s the oldest continuous ceramics tradition in North America, stretching back more than 5,000 years, and still vital today. More: $15; 6-8 p.m.; Levine Museum of the New South, 200 E. 7th St.; museumofthenewsouth.org
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for cool events happening in the queen city!
WEDNESDAY, NOV. 13TH GOOD WORK RESIDENCY
What: For their November Residency, Snug Harbor partners each Wednesday with a local group making our fair city a finer place. Tonight it’s nonprofit Girls Rock Charlotte, which amplifies the confidence of women through the power of music. Texas shoegaze quartet Blushing, N.C. garage girl group Stevie and Austin indie trio Ringo Deathstarr fill the bill. More: $8; 9 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com
THURSDAY, NOV. 14TH
LEWIS BLACK
What: At 71, Lewis Black’s belligerent routine has been most widely seen on The Daily Show, on which he’s been appearing since the Craig Kilborn days. Comedy Central once called the Chapel Hill resident the 51st greatest comedian of all time, but in the 15 years since then, we think he broke the Top 50. More: $49.50 and up; 8 p.m.; Knight Theater, 130 S. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org
FRIDAY, NOV. 15TH
LIFELINE
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NOV. 13TH - NOV. 19TH
MASON RAMSAY
What: Last year, video of this little boy yodeling Hank Williams’“Lovesick Blues” in a Walmart went viral and Mason Ramsay suddenly became famous. After that, he charted with his debut single, aptly titled “Famous.” He’ll be in Charlotte doing his little spin-and-point move for fans just a day before he turns 13. More: $12; 10 p.m.; Coyote Joe’s, 4621 Wilkinson Blvd.; coyote-joes.com
SATURDAY, NOV. 16TH
DINOSAUR JR.
What: There’s good reason that Dinosaur Jr.’s 2001 “Best of” compilation is called Ear Bleeding Country. As a power trio fronted by alt-guitar hero J Mascis, the band introduced squalling sheets of noise to late-’80s indie rock. But there’s more to Mascis than bludgeoning power. Later Dinosaur Jr. iterations feature sharp songwriting and graceful, almost pretty, playing. More: $27-$30; 7 p.m.; Neighborhood Theatre, 511 E 36th St.; neighborhoodtheatre.com
SUNDAY, NOV. 17TH ATLANTA FALCONS AT CAROLINA PANTHERS
What: Will Cam be back to face the Falcons? Will he be back at all this year? We don’t know, but two things are for sure. One, the Panthers will be coming off a tough stretch of games against three good teams. Two, this will be a chance to kick a very bad rival team when they’re down, and they better follow through on it. More: $65 and up; 1 p.m.; Bank of America Stadium, 800 S. Mint St.; panthers.com
MONDAY, NOV. 18TH JOHN 5
What: One guitar. Six strings. No eyebrows. Goth guitarist John 5’s incendiary fretwork earned him a best shredder award for his 2007 release The Devil Knows My Name. But Satan’s not the only one familiar with the former John Lowery. He’s been a six-string samurai for Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson and ex-Judas Priest front man Rob Halford. More: $20-$35; 7 p.m.; Amos’ Southend, 1423 S Tryon St.; amossouthend.com
TUESDAY, NOV. 19TH
A CONVERSATION WITH MICHELLE ALEXANDER
What: Nearly 10 years after Michelle Alexander’s bestselling book The New Jim Crow brought her to prominence, she’ll be in Charlotte leading a conversation on ending racial caste in America while providing new perspective on the challenges facing the civil rights community and a call-to-action for a multiracial, multiethnic human rights movement for justice in America. More: $25-$75; 7 p.m.; Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org
Social Calendar a little light? Check out
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for cool events happening in the queen city!
PHOTO BY OBSCVRE PHOTOGRAPHY
GIVE US A REASON
Reason|Define rocks the stage.
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Reason|Define is hard rock with a bright future
I
BY PAT MORAN
N PAOLINA MASSARO’S experience, singing has been the only role women have been allowed to play in rock bands without raising eyebrows. As a lead vocalist herself for Charlotte-based hard rock band Reason|Define, Massaro says she’s overjoyed to see an increasing focus on woman bassists, guitarists and drummers. “It’s cool to see women playing instruments in bands in such a male-dominated industry,” Massaro says. “It shouldn’t be surprising when a girl walks up on stage with her giant bass cabinet and
Marshall stacks, but it is.” For their part, Reason|Define — comprised of Massaro, bassist Caitlin Rutkowski, guitarists Savannah Ruff and Shelby McVicker, and drummer Sydney McVicker — are upending the status quo in the rock ‘n’ roll boys’ club with their dynamic hard-charging rock. The band takes the stage at The Milestone Club on Nov. 23 as part of Welcome to the Family Fest, a three-day music festival hosted by the Alt Talks Podcast aimed at building connections in the local rock scene.
With their energetic 2017 debut album Far From Strangers, Reason|Define took on multiple styles of muscular and melodic rock and made them their own. In 2018, the five-piece dropped a one-off cover of The Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go,” which bristles with buzz-saw power and bite while retaining the original’s ramshackle sense of swing. But it’s the band’s latest album that’s garnered a growing tsunami of buzz, hinting how the quintet may be the next big thing to break out from
Charlotte. Released last March, In Memory… is a quantum leap past the band’s considerable accomplishments, an introspective soul-searching collection that concentrates on the deeply personal and sometimes painful issues confronting contemporary women, which then catapults past considerations of gender and demographics to the universal. Paolina’s mother, Kelly Massaro, says it was clear from an early age that her daughter had an
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WELCOME TO THE FAMILY FEST Nov. 22-24, 4 p.m.-Midnight each day; $15, $40 all three days; The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road; themilestone.club
advanced musical mind. “When my daughter was growing up, I realized she was an old soul,” Kelly says. “When the other kids were listening to pop, she was rocking out to Led Zeppelin and Queen.” Kelly says Paolina started singing at 7 years old, before joining chorus in middle and high school and trying out for showcase TV shows like The Voice and American Idol, where she almost made it to the finals. According to Paolina, now 24, she took up guitar at 15 years old. She started with lessons from Connie Cooper, owner and director of Ballantyne & Indian Land Studios at Ballantyne School of Music. Cooper told Massaro that vocalists were needed for the school’s Jam Sessions. “I joined for fun and that’s when I realized I really enjoyed singing rock music,” Massaro remembers. It was through those sessions that Massaro met future Reason|Define bassist and backing vocalist Caitlin Rutkowski. “My dad played guitar and piano and sang, and he was into rock classics like Eton John, Billy Joel and The Beatles,” Rutkowski says. “He got me into music.” Rutkowski developed a taste for heavier rock and, after learning guitar, gravitated toward the bass. “I always enjoyed the lower register,” she continues. “I like the mix between melody and rhythm that you get with a bass. It’s so important for the groove of the song.” When Massaro started taking lessons at Ballantyne School of Music, she expressed an interest in forming an all-women rock band, but it wasn’t until she turned 18 that Cooper told her the school finally had enough females to fill the bill. Massaro already knew Rutkowski and Ruff, so the trio recruited sisters Shelby and Sydney McVicker, who play guitar and drums, respectively. The band was supposed to be a single-session, one-and-done thing, but the players clicked and, starting in 2013, decided to continue playing rock ‘n’ roll. As the band developed their sound, they discovered that their varying musical backgrounds were a source of strength. “One of the things that keeps our sound fresh and different is that we all are into different types of music,” Rutkowski says. “It gives us a good diversity in our songs.”
Sydney McVicker behind the set.
After winning Best Rock Band of the Year at the 2016 Carolina Music Awards, Reason|Define started pulling material together for their debut album, which dropped in March 2017. Looking back on Far From Strangers now, Massaro and Rutkowski agree that it took a while to get everyone’s backgrounds and preferences to mesh. Still fresh out of the gate, the band realized that they didn’t really know each other yet. “When we realized we were going to be doing this band thing [and that] we were going to make it real instead of something temporary, we started pulling stuff we’d already written out of our arsenals,” Massaro explains. Given the speed bumps the nascent band encountered, the tunes they hammered out are surprisingly strong. Leathery guitar riffs snake around jack-hammer drums and Massaro’s powerful belting croon on “Kingdom,” which is accompanied by a video depicting the band cavorting on a playground complete with an inflatable bounce house. “Start Me Over” boasts a spiraling lead guitar that coils and cradles charging, chugging riffs, while Massaro’s modulated emotional vocals cut
PHOTO BY OBSCVRE PHOTOGRAPHY
through the textured roar. Despite these highlights, the writing process was disconnected and not as collaborative as later band efforts, Rutkowski admits. “If you know the order that we wrote these songs, it’s obvious that we found a way to mesh all of our styles together,” she continues. “[Now] we all have our own voices individually but still sound like we’re one.” For this reason, Massaro feels the album title Far From Strangers is spot on. “We started out [the album] being strangers, and by the end we were far from it,” Massaro says. “We’re real frigging close now,” Rutkowski continues with a laugh. Nowadays, the band’s writing process is far more cohesive, but still different from what many people would expect from a quintet fronted by a fearless outspoken front woman, Massaro says. People think she’s the sole writer of lyrics but she’s not. Other band members contribute just as much as Massaro. “If there’s something anyone needs to get off their chest, we’ll take those words and make them into a song,” Massaro says.
“It’s not one thing or one person’s voice,” Rutkowski continues. “It’s all five of us speaking through the words and the music.” This culmination of sympathetic viewpoints and experiences has resulted in Reason|Define’s most mature and incisive vision to date. While In Memory… looks forward to a day when universal empowerment is a given, it’s also something of a throwback to the 1970s golden age of progressive hard rock. It’s a concept album that revolves around the groundbreaking work of psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and her examination of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It’s a testament to the band’s strengths that this heady, heavy concept can also rock out. “In the past few years, we’ve all experienced a lot of loss, whether it be family members, friendships or significant others,” Massaro explains. “As we started to write we realized there was a lot of stuff we wanted to get off our chests that we weren’t able to do otherwise.” The concept for In Memory… came to a head when Rutkowski’s father, Tim Cassell, died. “The girls were all there with me at the hospital
PHOTO BY OBSCVRE PHOTOGRAPHY
“IT SHOULDN’T BE SURPRISING WHEN A GIRL WALKS UP ON STAGE WITH HER GIANT BASS CABINET AND MARSHALL STACKS, BUT IT IS.”
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Paolina Massaro, Reason|Define
when the shit was hitting the fan,” Rutkowski remembers. “Not only did it bring us closer, but I think it also informed a lot of our creative process going forward.” More than mere catharsis, Rutkowski feels that recording the album enabled her to walk through the process of grief and to figure out how to be a better version of herself through all of the craziness that was converging in her life. Standouts from the album include “Mirrors,” a song that illuminates the depression stage of Kubler-Ross’s continuum. In the accompanying performance-based video, Massaro resembles a classic torch song chanteuse as she essays the soaring ballad over plaintive piano accompaniment by the online Berklee College-trained former child
prodigy Sydney McVicker. The tune confronts hitting the lowest low and not knowing who you are anymore before embracing the realization that the only person who can pull yourself out of a hole is you, Massaro says. This paean to personal agency has struck a chord, she continues. “That’s the song where we have the most people coming up to us and [saying], ‘Thank you. You’ve helped me so much.’” “Pointing Fingers” is another song from the collection that pulls no punches. As a steamroller rhythm section holds down the low end, bright keyboards and herky-jerky guitars hover over the top while Massaro channels some elemental power to deliver fervent support of the #MeToo
movement. “That’s a heavy one for us,” Massaro says. “It’s absolutely about some of our experiences with sexual harassment.” According to Rutkowski, the blistering rocker ties in with Kubler-Ross’s examination of grief because it deals with loss. “It’s about the loss of your own voice in a crowd or in society,” she explains. Given Reason|Define’s focus on individual empowerment, is it fair to say that they’re a feminist band? Yes and no, Massaro and Rutkowski agree. “We’re feminists as people, but it’s a quiet thing,” Massaro says. “We’re not shouting feminism from the rooftops.”
“It’s not like we’re doing, ‘Fuck the Patriarchy!’” Rutkowski adds. “[But] we write what we want to write about.” One subject the band does not shy away from is support for their fellow female musicians and enthusiasm for more women in rock. Rutkowski shares a distinctive memory from the band’s recent tour: At a stop in Florida, Reason|Define shared a stage with Parallel Motion, an all-male combo, save for a badass female bassist. “She just got up there and didn’t give a shit,” Rutkowski says. “It was so empowering to see her up there. I hope that eventually it won’t be quite so rare to see more females at shows.” A recent gig in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania, featured two other female fronted-bands, Flying Jacob and After the Broken, Massaro says. The women in each band told Massaro that they seldom played shows with other women and that it was exciting to see their rock ‘n’ roll sisterhood in the lineup. “It’s cool to have that kind of camaraderie with other female musicians,” Massaro concludes. Rutkowski maintains she finds more female musicians in Charlotte than elsewhere. She’s baffled that among the states Reason|Define has toured, an itinerary that includes 13 states from Florida to Indiana, there are few females visible in the music scene. But she holds out hope. “Everywhere females are becoming more prominent in the music scene,” Rutkowski says, optimistically. With perseverance, talent and a little luck, Reason|Define could be on the cusp of a scenario not seen since the protest era of the 1960s — a time when rock music will become the soundtrack for social change. “My father always said, ‘Use your power for good,’” Kelly Massaro remembers. She says she thinks about that often when she looks at the young women in her daughter’s band. “Each of them have brought their stories to their music, and they want to use their powers for good,” Kelly continues. “Their goal in life is to help somebody through their music.” “We’re out here using our voice and our platform to speak out about what we believe in and release all these pent-up emotions we have,” Paolina says. “In a healthy way,” Rutkowski interjects. “In a healthy way,” Massaro echoes. “It’s not just about empowering women. It’s about empowering everybody,” she continues. “We’re doing our own thing and inspiring people to do their own thing with confidence.” PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM
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SOUNDWAVE
NOVEMBER 6 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Pictures of Vernon, Foxy Dads, Winnebago Vacation, Padfoot, Heckdang (The Milestone) True Lilith, Izar Estelle, Vry Monday (Skylark Social Club) The Movement, The Elovaters & The Late Ones (Visulite Theatre) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Open Mic/Open Jam (Comet Grill) Indianola (Neighborhood Theatre) Josh Daniel, Jeremy Shaw (Smokey Joe’s) Riley Green, Travis Denning (Coyote Joe’s) Paulina Simone (Tin Roof) ROOTS/BLUES/INTERNATIONAL
Bugalú - November Edition (Petra’s)
NOVEMBER 7
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ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Paperback EP Release Show: Eat Defeat, So Soon, The Truth, No Rope, Deaf Andrews (Skylark Social Club) Hungry Girl, Petrov, Acne (Visulite Theatre) Wreckless Eric (Petra’s) Open Mic Night (Tommy’s Pub) Shana Blake& Friends(Smokey Joe’s) Kris Atoms (Comet Grill) Added Color (Tin Roof) The Fritz (Free Range Brewing) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
The Powell Brothers (Tin Roof) Jon Latham, Nick Nace, Rod Picott (Evening Muse) Joshua Radin & the Weepies, Lily Kershaw (McGlohon Theater) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Le Bang (Snug Harbor)
The Wizard’s Roadshow (Hartland’s Bar & Grill) RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B Born Dirty (QC Social Lounge) Player Made : An Ode To Southern Rap of All Eras (Snug Harbor) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Matthew Postle (Middle C Jazz) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL Nicci Canada sings Dinah Washington (Mallard Matthew Postle (Middle C Jazz) Creek Recreation Center) The Bryan Anderson Project: Soul Food - CD Release Party (Middle C Jazz) Charlotte Symphony: Debussy’s Prelude to the NOVEMBER 8 ROCK/PUNK/METAL Afternoon of the Faun (Knight Theater) Intrepid Artists 25th Anniversary: Kenny Neal, Albert Castiglia Band, Toronzo Cannon and NOVEMBER 9 The Chicago Way, Davy Knowles, John Nemeth ROCK/PUNK/METAL & The Blue Dreamers, Vanessa Collier, The Intrepid Artists 25th Anniversary: Kenny Steepwater Band, Empire Strikes Brass (Amos’ Neal, Albert Castiglia Band, Toronzo Cannon Southend) and The Chicago Way, Davy Knowles, John Charlotte Culture Party vs. Feather Pocket (Skylark Social Club) Mo Lowda & The Humble, Stop Light Observations, Ona (Visulite Theatre) Rational Anthem, Something Went Wrong, Merit Badge, Aloha Broha (The Milestone) Appalachian Death Trap, Vortex of Old Men, Trash Room (Tommy’s Pub) Lucky Dogs (Smokey Joe’s)
The Jump Cut (Tin Roof) Thirsty Horses (RiRa) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Infamous Stringdusters, Kitchen Dwellers(Neighborhood Theatre) David Childers & The Serpents, Carolina Gator Gumbo (Petra’s) Kelsey Waldon, Ginger Cowgirl (Evening Muse) Cory Branan, Darrin Bradbury (Evening Muse) DJ/ELECTRONIC
The Wizard’s Roadshow (The Fat Parrots Bar & Grill) Ganja White Night (Fillmore) Nora En Pure (World)
Nemeth & The Blue Dreamers, Vanessa Collier, The Steepwater Band, Empire Strikes Brass (Neighborhood Theatre) Aqualads, It’s Snakes, Fortune Teller, Damn The Sun (The Milestone) Quintron & Miss Pussycat, Patois Counselors, Three-Brained Rob (Snug Harbor) TreeHouse!, Joint Operation, Rockstead (Visulite Theatre) Azulz, Waking April, Celeste Moonchild (Petra’s) Macseal, I’m Glad It’s You, Jail Socks (Lunchbox Records) The Wiltz, Deaf Andrews (Tommy’s Pub) Asheville Circus (Smokey Joe’s)
Follow our Spotify Playlist PREVIEW YOUR LOCAL CHARLOTTE SOUNDWAVE ARTISTS HERE
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Turnstiles (Comet Grill) Queen City Rejects, The Fill Ins, Van Huskins (Freeman’s Pub, Gastonia) The Jump Cut (Tin Roof) Bald Brotherhood (RiRa)
NOVEMBER 11 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Shoreline Mafia (Underground) Big K.R.I.T., Rapsody (Fillmore)
Open Mic Night: Justin Lane (Legion Brewing) Group Chat Band, Upsetting, Big Wave Small Wave (The Milestone) Kaska Sun, Liam & The Nerdy Blues, The New Creatures (Snug Harbor) sRickshaw Billie’s Burger Patrol, Hellfire Choir (Tommy’s Pub)
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Matthew Postle (Middle C Jazz) Bryan Anderson & Friends Cookin’ Up the Groove - Cool Jazz (Middle C Jazz) Charlotte Symphony: Debussy’s Prelude to the Afternoon of the Faun (Knight Theater)
Jazz Mondays (Crown Station) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Country Music Monday (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Find Your Muse Open Mic: Claudia Nygaard (Evening Muse)
DJ/ELECTRONIC
#LocalOnly Saturday: DJ Teddy & Mike Boyer (The Milestone) iNterseCt: DJ Nareau, DJ Price, DJ Joey, DJ Straftanz (Amos’ Southend)
NOVEMBER 10 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Kamber, Kairos., Butterfly Corpse, Fear Until Fury (The Milestone) Metal Church Sunday Service (The Milestone) Primitive Warfare, Black Ejaculate, Howling Giant (Skylark Social Club) The HU, Crown Lands (Underground) Queen City Throwdown: True Lilith, Caldera, Oak Wind, The Dirty Low Down, City Lights Drive, Forever May Fall (Amos’ Southend) Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)
Pg. 19 Nov. 6 - Nov. 19, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
HBCU Culture Homecoming Band Showcase (Bojangles’ Coliseum) Bone Snugs-N-Harmony (Snug Harbor) Classic House Night: Charles Gatling, Marion Dees, Steve Howerton and Mike Brown (Crown Station) ROOTS/BLUES/INTERNATIONAL
Bluegrass Open Jam: Greg Clarke & Friends (Tommy’s Pub) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Bill Hannah’s Jazz Session (Petra’s)
NOVEMBER 12 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Smokin’ Js Open Jam Band & Friends (Smokey Joe’s) No Future: Asbestos Boys, Sunday Boxing, DJ Fat Keith Richards (Snug Harbor) Musician Open Mic (Crown Station) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill) Uptown Unplugged: Rod Fiske (Tin Roof)
NOVEMBER 13 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Good Work Residency-Girls Rock Charlotte: Stevie, Blushing, Richard, Ringo Deathstarr (Snug Harbor) Anchor Detail, A Deer A Horse, Negulators, No More People (The Milestone) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
La Terza Classe (Evening Muse) Open Mic/Open Jam (Comet Grill) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Dan Deacon (Neighborhood Theatre) The Wizard’s Roadshow (Post Sports Bar & Grill) Shindig! A 50s and 60s Dance Party (Petra’s)
NOVEMBER 14 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Lady Lamb, Toth (Neighborhood Theatre) Vry Monday,Tongues of Fire (Petra’s)
SOUNDWAVE DJ/ELECTRONIC
The Wizard’s Roadshow (Hartland’s Bar & Grill) Le Bang(Snug Harbor) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
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Pg. 20 Nov. 6 - Nov. 19, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
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Kim Petras (Underground) Open Mic Night (Tommy’s Pub) Shana Blake& Friends(Smokey Joe’s Café) Jason Moss & The Hosses (Comet Grill) Heads Up Penny (Tin Roof)
Boy Named Banjo, Morgan Wade (Visulite Theatre) Ann Paul, Phil Lomac (Evening Muse) Runaway June (Coyote Joe’s) The Grass is Dead (Free Range Brewing)
ROOTS/BLUES/INTERNATIONAL
Gaelic Storm (Neighborhood Theatre) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Charlotte Symphony: Patriotic Pops (Knight Theater)
NOVEMBER 16 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Dinosaur Jr. (Neighborhood Theatre) Rapid Fire Fest: Sadistic Ritual, Mega NOVEMBER 15 Colossus, Suppressive Fire, All Hell, Nuclear ROCK/PUNK/METAL Tomb,Axattack, Stunner, Völtage, Knightmare, Rapid Fire Fest: Twisted Tower Dire, Paladin, ShadowStrike, Children of the Reptile, Throne Morganton Band (The Milestone) Bumpin Uglies, Little Stranger, Zach Fowler Of Iron (The Milestone) Night Battles, Slowride, Cosmic Reaper (Snug (Visulite Theatre) Sinners & Saints, Maggie Valley Band, Grace Harbor) Joyner (Petra’s) Deaf Andrews, Tin 4, Lisa De Novo (Visulite Bad Karol and The Sedonas (Evening Muse) Theatre) Thirsty Curses, Fine Lines (Evening Muse) Sullivan King (Underground) The Menders, The Gone Ghosts, Trent Thompson Selah Dubb (Smokey Joe’s) Ready4More (RiRa) (Petra’s) High On Fire, Power Trip, Devil Master, Creeping Death (Amos’ Southend) 9daytrip (Smokey Joe’s) Alex Butler (Tin Roof) Heroes at Last (Ri Ra) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Julia Nunes, Elizabeth and The Catapult, Chase Burnett (Evening Muse) Nick Dittmeier and The Sawdusters (Evening Muse) Mason Ramsey (Coyote Joe’s) DJ/ELECTRONIC
The Wizard’s Roadshow (The Fat Parrots Bar & Grill) Raw is War: Freestyle Dance Battles (Crown Station)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Lugnuts (Comet Grill) Wayne Harper (Tin Roof) Trace Bundy (Free Range Brewing) Dan Staton (Primal Brewery) RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Seph Dot, Seebirdgo, Phaze Gawd, Tecoby Hines, Simon Smthng (Snug Harbor) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Charlotte Symphony: Patriotic Pops (Knight Theater) Carolina Voices: Courage-Heroes & Legends (St John’s Baptist Church) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Gryffin (Fillmore)
NOVEMBER 17 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Rapid Fire Fest: Crisix, Paralysis, Nemesis, Krvsade (The Milestone) Conan Gray (Fillmore) Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill) Stereotype (Tin Roof) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Sarah Peacock and Eliot Bronson (Evening Muse) John Hiatt, Colin Elmore (McGlohon Theater) RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Bone Snugs-N-Harmony (Snug Harbor) ROOTS/BLUES/INTERNATIONAL
Bluegrass Open Jam: Greg Clarke & Friends (Tommy’s Pub) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Lettuce, Ghost-Note (Neighborhood Theatre) Bill Hannah’s Jazz Session (Petra’s) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)
NOVEMBER 18 ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Fixed Faces, Heavy Liquid (Snug Harbor) John 5 & The Creatures (Amos’ Southend) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Find Your Muse Open Mic: Rupert Wates (Evening Muse) Cordovas (Neighborhood Theatre) Country Music Monday (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Jazz Mondays (Crown Station) Visit qcnerve.com for the full Soundwave.
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LAY THE S’MACDOWN Macaroni-and-cheese fest puts chefs to the test
Pg. 22 Jan. 2 - Jan. 15, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
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PHOTO COURTESY OF ASHLEY’S YUMMY TUMMY
“I PLAN TO WIN THE COMPETITION BY INVESTING TIME INTO MAKING SURE THE FLAVORS ARE EXPERIENCED WITH EVERY BITE.” Ashley Monique, Ashley’s Yummy Tummy
BY KASSIDY BROWN
E’RE NOT BIG on promoting cheesy events here at Queen City Nerve, but every once in a while, we make an exception. On Saturday, Nov. 9, hundreds of macaroni lovers will spend their day munching on tasty mac at the fourth annual CLT’s s’MACdown, and we’ve got the first look at what the 12 participating chefs will be mixing up to try to out-mac the others. If you’re a true Southerner, you know mac ‘n’ cheese is more than just a tasty side; it’s the Holy Grail of down-home cooking. Anyone can make it, only few can make it the right way. In other words, it ain’t to be messed with. The mere mention of adding something “different” to the mac is often met with a strict and resounding “No!” but the s’MACdown is inviting the potential for mac ‘n’ cheese experimentation. With the onset of hipster-inspired cuisine and culturally infused menus, several Southerners are opening their minds and mouths to dishes they ordinarily wouldn’t (bacon jam anyone?). However, the chefs battling for the s’MACdown crown are taking the ultimate risk and putting a creative spin on this classic recipe. Instead of letting their family recipe confine them to a Kraft Cheese box, they’re breaking taboos and taking names with their unconventional, wonky and signature mac ‘n’ cheese dishes. These brave chefs are letting their fellow peers and tasters know that anything is truly possible. We spoke with four of the 12 participants to get the inside scoop on their winning dish, and get the digs on how they plan to take the crown as CLT’s Mac Champion. Steven Mahony, head chef at Harry’s Grille and Tavern, is one of the bold chefs presenting his take on this classic side. His Lobster Mac ‘n’ Cheese is the perfect mix of class and sass. Accompanying the petite penne is a mixture of handpicked claw and knuckle meat. Cheese lovers can enjoy the varying flavor profiles of Asiago, Manchego, Romano and Parmesan cheese. The dominating tastes ooze with flavor and comfort — two necessary ingredients for the perfect mac recipe. Aunt Lynn’s is a catering business serving down-home, Southern soul food. Dubbed the “Home of the MacAttack”, these culinary experts
are merging unique ingredients into a gooey dish of cheesy heaven. The MacAttack is a family recipe consisting of not one, not two, but six different cheeses. Imagine the different textures and flavors you’ll receive with that aspect alone. Fresh spinach is incorporated throughout the dish, along with seasoned chicken, butter and bacon! Ok, the competition just got intense. Aside from bacon, this dish is perfect if you’re looking for a clever way to incorporate veggies into your kid’s diet. “Our chicken-and-spinach mac is our bestseller for both young and old,” confirms head chef and owner Lynn Burris. Lynn and her daughter Ebony own and operate the full-service catering business. They’re eager to show off their signature dish and win your stamp of approval. Next on the chopping block is Ashley’s Yummy Tummy — another awesome mobile catering service serving up delicious dishes in the Carolinas. Head chef Ashley Monique plans to take us on a trip around the world with her culturally-infused dish, appropriately deemed Elote Mac & Cheese. With notes of Latin influence and true Southern charm, this dish is guaranteed to take your taste buds for a spin. “I plan to win the competition by investing time into making sure the flavors are experienced with every bite,” says Monique. This is evident in her bold combination of flavors you never thought would go in a mac ‘n’ cheese dish. “The flavor profile includes smooth and creamy cheese sauce with roasted corn on the cob. Mac ‘n’ cheese and Mexican street corn is delicious by themselves, but together, it’s amazing.” Check out Ashley’s Yummy Tummy and prepare to host a fiesta for your taste buds. Mac ‘n’ cheese and chill, anyone? If you’re a fan of the Boondocks, you know exactly what “the itis” is. If you haven’t experienced the REM-quality sleep that comes after experiencing a meal consisting of carbohydrates, butter, bacon and chicken, you will after one bite of Satan’s Breath 5 Alarm 6 Cheese Chili Mac. What’s the secret ingredient that makes this dish so chill? Cannabidiol. You read correctly. CBDinfused macaroni and cheese will be in the building
Aunt Lynn’s MacAttack
PHOTO COURTESY OF AUNT LYNN’S CATERING
BEHIND THE STICK
INTO A DIVE
Mike Clayton bounces from crafts to Comet Grill BY LIZ LOGAN
J
Pg. 23 Jan. 2 - Jan. 15, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
4TH ANNUAL CLT S’MACDOWN Nov. 9, 1-5 p.m.; $35; Carolina Union Volleyball Club, 2530 Whitehall Park Drive; cltsmacdown.com
November 9th. Who’s the mastermind behind the mac? None other than the culinary experts at Fitzgerald’s in Uptown. They’re taking their dish to new heights, literally, with a “perfect blend of smoky and spicy” mac n’ cheese, explains representative Hanna Owens. She continues: “You can expect a dish infused with Satan’s Breath CBD hot sauce, six different cheeses, black beans and ground beef.” If you don’t know about Satan’s Breath CBD Hot Sauce, get hip to the game. This product is locally sourced and infused with 50 milligrams of full-spectrum CBD. It’s adequately described as “an elegant blend of six fire roasted peppers.” Anything doused with this stuff is sure to have you breathing fire and chilling out at the same time. Visually, this dish is stunning. We’re accustomed
to seeing macaroni and cheese in yellow and beige tones. This dish, however, is rife with colors, textures and of course, flavors. You’re sure to get a photo worthy for the ‘Gram when you try out this fiery dish. So, still think mac ‘n’ cheese is boring? Test your theory at the upcoming s’MACdown. The listed chefs and a host of others are ready to share their gifts with the wonderful people of Charlotte. If for whatever reason mac n’ cheese isn’t your fancy - which in that case, what’s up with you? - there will be several craft beer and other local vendors present. Tickets start at $30 and proceeds benefit Project Halo — a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping animals find their forever home. So, grab your friends and make your way down to the 4th annual s’MACdown!
UST OUTSIDE Dilworth’s residential neighborhood, where million-dollar homes line perfectly manicured streets, lies a shopping plaza symptomatic of Charlotte’s current expansion. On one side sits a two-story brick building just a few years old, housing an artisan pizza restaurant, craft coffee and cocktail bar, juice bar and yoga studio. On the other, in a single-story strip of storefronts, lies a laundromat, Chinese restaurant and nail bar capped off by the storied Comet Grill. In a city where cultural landmarks are bulldozed at an alarming rate for the sake of lackluster apartment buildings, Comet has remained a watering hole for locals since its inception back in 1996. While 1996 may not seem that historic for a city established in 1786, when you take a look around Charlotte’s shiny new enterprises, any premillennia structure is worth a second glance. Mike Clayton was once a Comet regular, stopping in for his drink combo of choice — PBR and a shot of Jameson — after his shifts at the now-defunct Davidson Street Public House. About a year and a half ago after finding out about Public House’s closing on a drive home from Jacksonville, Clayton was panicked. Tommy Noblett, Comet’s line-cook-turned-owner, offered Clayton a spot bartending a few nights a week. “When people found out I was working there, they’d joke ‘Who died?’ No one really leaves Comet once they’re there,” Clayton recalls. As the newest bartender at the Grill, Clayton has a fresh perspective of what somewhere like Comet offers to the city.
Queen City Nerve: Have you always aspired to being a bartender or did you just fall into it? Mike Clayton: I moved to Charlotte in 2007 after graduating college in Cincinnati. I’d heard Charlotte had a good job market but couldn’t land anything so I got a job at Outback [Steakhouse]. I moved over to Dilworth Neighborhood Grill. After managing there a little while, I decided to try again to pursue the 9-to-5 world. After a short time at Wells Fargo, and knowing fluorescent lights were a no for me, INFO@QCNERVE.COM I stepped back into the bar scene and haven’t left.
What was your bar training like? I took over the bar at Davidson Street Public House when the bartender abruptly left. We were keeping it simple but elevated and I taught myself everything I knew. I ordered books, watched videos online, basically did anything I could to master the trade. It was fun — we were whiskey-forward and got to play around and challenge people. They’d come in wanting vodka and I’d try to steer them in the direction of a gin cocktail, just to encourage people to try something new. What makes Comet different from the other places you’ve tended bar? Comet is a beer-and-a-shot joint. We have the same folks coming in between 4 and 7 every day. I see them walking in the door and start pouring their drinks. I almost need a hand signal from them if they are switching it up. We all know the customers well and they know us. In a lot of ways Charlotte is missing that. We see the same faces every day — we’ve got the after work crowd and then later on the nightly music crowd. This place is like family. Our status quo is good and we like it. How would you describe the crowd? It’s really divers. We’ve got the late-night industry folks who come in for drinks after work. We’ve got the 25-to-30-year-old crowd new to the neighborhood coming in. Then we’ve got the locals who have been coming here since we opened. They keep coming because it still feels old school. We hear there is talk about Public House reopening in Uptown. What are your plans with that? First of all, I plan on staying at Comet, which says a lot about this establishment. But I am going to be on bar at the new Public House a few nights a week. I’m excited to get back into craft beer and cocktails. I love Comet but I do miss [craft cocktails]. Visit qcnerve.com for the full interview. INFO@QCNERVE.COM
DILWORTH BAKERSFIELD
Monday: $3 Jack Daniels Tuesday: $3 Tres Generaciones, $10 Don Julio 1942 Wednesday: $3 Bulleit Bourbon Thursday: $3 Espolon Friday: $3 George Dickel No. 8 Saturday: $3 Lunazul Sunday: $3 Larceny Bourbon
300EAST
Monday: 1/2 off wines by the glass Tuesday: 1/2 off beer cans and glasses of Italian reds Thursday: $3.50 local drafts, $8.50 Matilda Wong cocktails Sunday: 1/2 off wine bottles, $5 mimosas & bloody marys, $6 Bellinis
BAD DADDY’S BURGER BAR
Monday: 20-oz. draft for 16-oz. price Tuesday: $5 specialty cocktails Wednesday: $3.50 local drafts Saturday-Sunday: $5 mimosas & bloody marys
DILWORTH NEIGHBORHOOD GRILLE
Pg. 24 Nov.6 - Nov.16, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
Monday: $4 Crown & Down Tuesday: $4 drafts, $12 pitchers, $5 flights of North Carolina drafts Wednesday: 1/2 off wine bottles and martinis Thursday: $12 domestic buckets, $18 import buckets Friday: $3 craft drafts, $5 flavored vodka Saturday: $5 mason jar cocktails
SUMMIT ROOM
Tuesday: $4 drafts Wednesday: 1/2 off glasses of wine Thursday: $7 Summit cocktails
SOUTH END
COMMON MARKET SOUTH END
Monday: 1/2 off select pints Tuesday: Free beer tasting 5-7 p.m. Wednesday: $2 off select pints, wine tasting 5-7 p.m.
BIG BEN PUB
Monday: $6 beer cocktails, $2 off vodka Tuesday: $8 mules, 1/2 off gin Wednesday: $6 you-call-it, 1/2 off wine bottles Thursday: $4 wells, 1/2 off specialty cocktails Friday: $5.50 Guinness and Crispin, $6 vodka Red Bull Saturday-Sunday: $4 bloody marys and mimosas, $15 mimosa carafes
MAC’S SPEED SHOP
Monday: $3 pints, $5 Tito’s Tuesday: 1/2 price wine, $3 mystery draft Wednesday: $4 tall boys, $5 Lunazul Blanco Thursday: $3 mystery cans and bottles, $4 Jim Beam Saturday: $1 off North Carolina pints Sunday: $4 mimosas & bloody marys
GIN MILL
Monday: $5 Tito’s and New Amsterdam Tuesday: 1/2 price wine Wednesday: $4 draft beer Thursday: $2.50 PBR, $5 Jack Daniels and Tito’s
UPTOWN THE LOCAL
Monday: $7 Casamigos, $2 Natty Boh and Miller High Life, $5 Jager Tuesday: $3 Modelo, $5 house margaritas, $5 Don Julio Wednesday: $5 Crown & Down, $3 Southern Tier Thursday: $5 Captain Morgan, $7 craft mules, $16 Bud Light buckets Friday: $3 Jell-O shots, $4 drafts, $5 wells Saturday: $3 PBR, $5 Jager Sunday: $7 loaded mimosa, $7 Grey Goose bloody mary, $16 Bud Light buckets
THE DAILY TAVERN
Wednesday: $5 whiskey Thursday: $4 pint night Sunday: $4 Miller Lite, $6 bloody marys
DANDELION MARKET
Monday: $3 select drafts Tuesday: $15 select bottles of wines Saturday-Sunday: Bloody mary bar
ROXBURY
Friday: $5 flavored vodka drinks, $5 fire shots, $3 bottles Saturday: $5 fire shots, $4 ZIMA, $3 bottles
WORLD OF BEER
Monday: $2 off North Carolina drafts and spirits Tuesday: 25 percent off bottles and cans, $5 mules Wednesday: 1/2-priced wine, wheats and sangrias Thursday: $4 old school, $4 well, $4 signature shots Friday-Saturday: $3 shot of the week Sunday: $2 mimosas, $3 bloody marys & beermosas
PROHIBITION
Tuesday: 1/2 off everything Wednesday: $3 drafts Thursday: $2 PBR, $6 vodka Red Bull Friday-Saturday: $4 call-its
NODA
CABO FISH TACO
Monday: $5 El Cheapo margarita Tuesday: $3.50 Tecate and Tecate Light, $5 Altos silver tequila Wednesday: $7 Absolut Lime Moscow mule Thursday: $1 off neighborhood beers on draft Friday-Saturday: $8 margarita special Sunday: $5 mimosas, $6 Absolut Peppar bloody mary, $7 Absolut Lime Moscow mule
JACKBEAGLE’S
Monday: $5 Cuervo margaritas Tuesday: $3 drafts, $5 vodka Red Bull Wednesday: $1 off whiskey Thursday: $6 Deep Eddy’s vodka Red Bull Friday: $5 Fun-Dip shots, $5 Crown Black Saturday: $5 Gummy Bear shots, $5 big mimosa, $6.50 double bloody mary Sunday: $5 big mimosa, $6.50 double bloody mary
SANCTUARY PUB
Monday: $7 Bulleit and Bulleit Rye, $3 Yuengling and PBR APA Tuesday: $6 Tuaca, $6 Tullamore Dew Wednesday: $3 Birdsong beers, $5 Sauza,
Thursday: $2 Bartender Bottles, $6 Crown Royal Sunday: $3 Birdsong, $3 Tall or Call
NODA 101
Monday: $4 Ketel One Lemon Drop, $4 well liquor, $5 Camerena Tuesday: $6 seasonal cocktails, $6 Jameson, $4 Grape Gatorade Wednesday: $5 Green Tea Shot, $6 Blue Balls Thursday: $5 Jagermeister, $6 vodka Redbull, $6 Oxley Gin Cocktail Friday: $5 Fireball, $6 vodka Red Bull, $6 Jameson Saturday: $5 Fireball, $6 vodka Red Bull Sunday: $5 Deep Eddy Flavors, $1 off tequila, $5 White Gummy Bear shots
BILLY JACK’S SHACK
Monday: $1 off moonshine, $3 domestics Tuesday: $1 off all drafts, $7 Jameson Wednesday: $1 off bottles and cans Thursday: $4.50 wells Friday: $5 Fireball, $1 off local bottles and cans Saturday: $4 mimosas $5 Brunch Punch, Sunday: $4 mimosas, $5 Brunch Punch, $5 Fireball, $10 champagne bottles
PLAZA MIDWOOD HATTIE’S TAP & TAVERN
Monday: $6 Pabst & Paddy’s Tuesday: $5 Fireball Wednesday: $3 mystery craft beers Thursday: $6 margaritas Friday-Saturday: $5 well drinks Sunday: $10 domestic buckets
INTERMEZZO
Monday: $4 Makers Mark, $2 domestic bottles Tuesday: $4 margaritas, $7 Tito’s mules, $3 Blanche de Bruxelles, $3 OMB Copper Wednesday: 1/2 price wine bottles, $2 off bourbon of the week Thursday: $6.50 Ketel One Botanical Series, $4 Stoli Friday: $4 20-oz. Birdsong LazyBird Brown Ale and Birdsong Jalapeño Ale Saturday: 1/2 price martinis Sunday: $3 drafts
M-F: 5PM - 2AM SAT & SUN: 12PM - 2AM
Drinks. Games. Music. LOCALLY OWNED & OPERATED NODA BAR
Connect with free arts and culture experiences for all ages, close to home.
CULTURE 453 East 36th st. Charlotte, nc 28205 | 980.819.9942 | theblindpignoda.com
BLOCKS
Find upcoming events at ArtsAndScience.org/CultureBlocks
Pg. 25 Nov.6 - Nov. 16, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
Join Queen City Nerve in discussions about local news topics over cocktails with featured guests on the Queen City Podcast Network.
www.queencitypodcastnetwork.com/noozehounds
FINDING THAT LOST RHYTHM
New South End spot just might be what we’re missing
Pg. 26 Nov. 6 - Nov, 19, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
BY AERIN SPRUILL
I SET OUT INNOCENTLY enough to celebrate a friend’s birthday, when out of nowhere a Sunday Funday struck. I started the day with the intention of getting a relaxing massage, enjoying a bowl of ramen from Futo Buta and showing some love at my friend’s shindig for just a couple hours before curling up on the couch. The next thing I knew, day turned into night, and we were all drunkenly trying to help a friend find her boyfriend’s only car key so we could venture to a new spot. Ironically, she’d find it two days later at Lost and Found, a new bar in South End’s Gold District. For the past couple weeks, the buzz around the Queen City nightlife scene has included this latest addition. Locals have been asking questions, and it’s sort of my job to answer them, right? My trepidation and uncertainty compared to the excitement of friends who had already been, were working there, or acted as curators behind the concept was enough to convince me I needed to try this spot for myself. After crawling around Charlotte for the past seven years, there’s very few nightlife additions that excite me. I’ve grown bored of asking questions like, “What’s different about this place?” and the like. I think that’s the uncertainty I regularly feel when new places hop on the scene — the fear that a new venue won’t live up to the hype or bring a uniqueness to the nightlife table, which is most often the case. Like many others, I’ve been scared of either hating a new concept or loving it only for it to go away, which can serve as a metaphor for relationships or any number of new things, but I digress. I started asking the question, “Will this idea even survive?” I think that we can all agree, viability and longevity when it comes to the food and
beverage scene in the Queen City is a bit of a toss up. In the past couple years, we’ve said goodbye to Connolly’s, Sushi Guru, HiTide Poke & Raw Bar, Rock Bottom, Flight, Twenty-Two, Kennedy’s, Solstice Tavern... the list goes on. However, new spots are opening all the time, so let’s look at the newest. My piqued interest (and adventurous friends) pushed me into an Uber complete with mini bottles and we headed toward Lost and Found for “Out on Sundays” LGBTQ Night. Let me preface my experience by saying this was the perfect night for me to attend. It was comfortably busy for someone who gets the meat sweats seeing just how long the lines have regularly been since the grand opening on Oct. 12. Not to mention, I was beyond excited to learn that “Out on Sundays” would be a weekly thing and my fave local DJ, @DjFannieMae, just so happened to be on the ones and twos. “The whole point of this concept was inclusion. I didn’t want it to feel like a nightclub, I wanted it to feel like an elevated neighborhood bar,” owner Orlando Botero said as we chatted fireside at an outside pit table. And while the pink velvet couches, neon signs, floral accents/branding and specialty cocktails that we’ve heard about seem to be simply novel devices, they come together to push a feminine-forward vibe that seems to place Lost and Found at the perfect intersection of a sports bar and cocktail lounge. (Did I mention the space will also serve as a co-working office during the day?) While some have said they feel the concept is ambitious, I say maybe this is what we need right now — something that you can’t really fit in any given box. And maybe, just maybe, that thing sits in the middle of a few things and fulfills its original purpose: to make everyone feel welcome. I’m no expert, I just know where I like to have fun. I drown out the noise and try to find the spots that feed into the energetic pulse of nightlife. There are places in this beautiful city that certain groups of people love that are here to stay and it just so happens I can’t stand them. There are other holein-the-wall spots that excite me beyond my wildest dreams and they’ve survived decades. At the risk of sounding cliche, it’s all a matter of perspective. Nevertheless, in what I’m sure is an exhausting industry for restauranteurs and bar owners, I do not envy nightlife curators like Orlando, tasked with keeping the Charlotte landscape alive. However, I do envy their passion and commitment to breathing life into what has been for me a stale atmosphere, and pushing the boundaries of what we “think” a new concept should look like. As the saying goes, “Don’t knock it till you try it.” INFO@QCNERVE.COM
Pg. 27 Nov. 6 - Nov. 16, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
85 Choir song 87 “Let’s Stay Together” singer checks IDs at the door? 91 Day, to Juan 94 Entirely 95 Writer Nin 96 Queen, e.g. 97 Go inside 99 Nonviolent protest 100 Novelist Oz WHAT SINGERS DO 102 “Them There Eyes” singer has fun at a bash? ACROSS 109 Just slightly 1 “All seats sold” abbr. 110 Brooklyn loc. 4 Wound coverer 111 Assoc. 8 Course outlines 112 La -- Tar Pits 15 Jessica of “The Veil” 114 Rake prong 19 Really revealing 115 “Song Sung Blue” singer telephones 21 At some future time someone? 22 Appear as though 23 “Take Me Home Tonight” singer picks from 122 Snacks on 123 Serving to help the menu? 124 Matter of little interest 25 Drawn-out drama 125 Crate piece 26 Tiny parasite 126 Noteworthy 27 Pucksters’ org. 127 Attack like a turtle 28 Parasite egg 128 Tisane, e.g. 29 Big stirs 30 “Hot Stuff” singer takes a pleasure trip? DOWN 38 God of love 1 Cherry part 39 Cultural credo 2 Fixed up 40 1967 Dionne Warwick hit 3 “You’re never too -- learn” 41 Small vise 4 Beatified Fr. woman 45 A Great Lake 5 Engine part 46 Sahara viper 6 Ballet great Alicia 48 Vogue thing 7 Lew Wallace novel 49 “Walk on the Wild Side” singer plays a 8 Like a sneak droning instrument? 9 NBAer Ming 52 Get a laugh out of 10 P.O. piece 54 War unit 11 Was a guide 55 Wet blanket 12 Sporting spots 56 Fast-running birds 13 Of element #5 57 Trapped like -14 Popular photo-sharing app, for short 61 Choir garb 15 Lay into 63 “I Walk the Line” singer trims a photo? 16 Make the first play 68 Follower of Benedict? 17 Petalless showy flower 69 Galoot 18 Racked up 71 Art stand 20 Bank claim 72 Aunt, to Juan 24 Tall tree 73 IRS hiree 31 Designate 74 “It’s Too Late” singer grumbles? 32 Excited, informally 78 Hog lover 33 “You crack --!” 80 Canadian oil company 34 To be, in French 81 Group of two 35 Fraternity letters 82 Slushy drink brand 36 Wernher -- Braun 84 “--, vidi, vici” 37 Bugle tune
41 Jodie’s role in “The Silence of the Lambs” 42 Sun or moon circlers 43 Moves heavily 44 “Ellen” actor Gross 45 Upscale 46 Something not to be missed 47 Fish-on-rice food 50 Mr. Hyde’s other half 51 Kung -- chicken 52 Drs.’ gp. 53 Corn serving 56 Custard-filled treats 58 Musical period that began in the 1950s 59 Tacks on 60 Like Russia, once 62 “Dino” star Mineo 64 Persist, as an injury 65 Gp. advising the president 66 “-- out!” (ballpark cry) 67 Fleet vehicle 70 Piano part 75 Alley- -- (court play) 76 What “je suis” means 77 Abbr. after old dates 79 Author Turgenev 83 Forest moon where Ewoks live
SOLUTION ON PAGE 30
86 Hindu dress 87 Prefix with 99-Down 88 Installed, as carpet 89 Gershon of “Cocktail” 90 Sac in anatomy 91 Wars of words 92 First 93 Georgia State locale 95 Feel awful 98 Like firstborn children 99 Extroverted 100 Wear for grill masters 101 Cro- -103 1930s-’50s bandleader Skinnay -104 “Laughing” carnivore 105 Lead-in to Kippur or tov 106 Stork cousin 107 Dadaist Max 108 Smooth shift 113 Out of port 116 Caesar’s 52 117 1950s prez 118 Little charged bit 119 Rearward 120 Cellular stuff 121 Fabric flaw
NOVEMBER 6 - NOVEMBER 12 ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Lots of choices could make it difficult to select what is best for your needs. Avoid snap judgments. Take the time to check them all out to find the one that really meets your goals. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) You could once again experience pressure from others who would like to see you move in another direction. But heed your Bovine instincts to stay on your own path. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Taking charge of a project that seems to be about to stall or collapse altogether could be a challenge. But once everyone knows what you expect of him or her, things should go smoothly.
Pg. 28 Nov. 6 - Nov, 19, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Avoid the pressures of the upcoming holiday period by setting a time right now to discuss how to divide up the responsibility of helping a loved one come through a difficult period. LEO (July 23 to August 22) It’s not too early for all you Leonas and Leos to start making long-distance travel plans. The sooner you stop procrastinating and start deciding where, when and how you’re going, the better. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Someone you’ve known for years might disappoint you, or even make you feel you’ve been betrayed. But check the facts carefully before you make charges that could backfire on you. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A holiday plan might need to be revised to accommodate an unexpected complication. Come up with an alternative arrangement as soon as possible to
NOVEMBER 13 - NOVEMBER 19
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A rejection of your attempt to be friendly leaves you with two choices: SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Don’t accept Try again, or give up. If you want to make another halfway explanations for a situation that requires effort, go slowly. Let things develop without full disclosure. The more you know now, the better pressure. able you will be to handle any complications that TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) It could be a problem might arise. dealing with unfamiliar people who do things SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) The differently from what you’re used to. But rely on cooperation you relied upon might not be easy that strong sense of purpose to get you through this to get. Maybe there’s an information gap. See if difficult period. avoid more problems down the line.
everyone understands the situation. If not, be sure GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) To avoid neglecting to offer a full explanation. a personal matter because of a demanding new CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Problems workplace schedule, start prioritizing immediately. caused by that recent workplace distraction should Knowing how to apportion your time takes a little soon be easing, allowing you to resume working at while to set up. a less frantic pace. That personal matter also begins CANCER (June 21 to July 22) It won’t be easy to to ease up. avoid some of the pressures that come with change. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Changing Best advice: Take things a step at a time, and you’ll your mind about a job decision isn’t easy for the be less likely to trip up while things are in a chaotic usually committed Aquarian. But once you check state. it out, you’ll find facts you didn’t know before. And LEO (July 23 to August 22) A much-talked-about facts don’t lie. workplace change could be coming soon. Be sure to PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Your unique get all the details involved in the process, and once way of sizing up a situation gives you an edge in you have them, you can decide how you want to resolving that upsetting workplace problem. Stay deal with it. on your current course regardless of any attempts VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) You might still to distract you. believe that your trust was betrayed, although the BORN THIS WEEK: You are emotionally attuned to facts would appear to prove the opposite. But by what’s going on around you, and you easily pick up the week’s end you should learn something that will help set the record straight. on people’s needs. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Holiday plans could be a challenge because of shifting
circumstances. But a more settled period starts by midweek, allowing you to firm up your planmaking once and for all. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) The facts continue to be on your side. So make use of them in dealing with any challenge to your stated position. Also, open your mind to the offer of help from an unlikely source. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) There could still be a communication problem holding up the resolution of a troublesome situation. Stay with it, and eventually your message will get through and be understood. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) A possible change in your workplace schedule might create a chaotic situation for a while. But once things begin to settle down, you might find that this could work to your advantage. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A recent job-linked decision might need to be reassessed because of the possibility of finding benefits you might have overlooked. Check out all related data to help in the search. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A personal situation you agreed to might not be as acceptable to the other person involved in the matter. Avoid pressuring and bullying. Instead, seek common ground by talking things through. BORN THIS WEEK: You have a gift for touching people’s minds as well as their hearts. You would make an outstanding educator. 2018 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.
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THE MAN SHOW
Accountability for everyone
Pg. 30 Nov. 6 - Nov, 19, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
BY DAN SAVAGE
I am male. A close female friend was raped by an old acquaintance of mine. I knew this guy when we were tweens, I didn’t really care for him as we got older, so it goes. It turns out that a few years ago, he raped my friend in an alcohol blackout situation. I don’t know more than that. She says she considers the encounter “not strictly consensual” and confided that this guy didn’t react well when she tried to talk to him about it. This isn’t something she’s “out” about. My feelings toward this guy are pretty dark. Now he’s moved back to town and I see him around, and some good friends of mine who stayed in contact with him invite him to stuff. I don’t know what to say or how to act. I know I don’t want to talk to him or be his friend. I would like to tell my other friends about this guy so I don’t have to see him, but I can’t because it’s not my story to tell. I would rather just skip social events he’s at. But without an explanation, I doubt my friends will understand, and it feels like I’m surrendering my friends to someone who assaulted a dear friend. I told someone once to please not invite him to something or I would skip it. They were confused, and it felt like an awkward ask. What should I say to my friends about this guy? What can I do to keep him out of my life? ANGRY CONFIDANT
“I don’t like hanging out with Chuck and would appreciate it if you didn’t invite him to the party/show/ bris/whatever.” “What’s the issue between you guys?” “Look, we go a long way back, and it’s not something I want to discuss. It’s just awkward for us to be in the same place.” That’s the best you can do without outing your friend — without telling a story that isn’t yours to
tell — and it’s likely your mutual friends will be confused by the ask, AC, but you’ll just have to be at peace with that. You could add something vague that omits identifying details (“He did a shitty thing to a friend”), but any details you share — however vague — could result in questions being put to you that you can’t answer or are tempted to answer. Even worse, questions will be put to “Chuck,” and he’ll be free to lie, minimize or spin. My only other piece of advice would be to follow your close female friend’s lead. You describe what transpired between her and Chuck as rape, while your friend describes the encounter as “not strictly consensual.” That’s a little more ambiguous. And just as this isn’t your story to tell, AC, it’s not your experience to label. If your friend doesn’t describe what happened as rape — for whatever reason — you need to respect that. And does your friend want Chuck excluded from social events hosted by mutual friends or is she able to tolerate his presence? If it’s the latter, do the same. If she’s not making an issue of Chuck being at a party, you may not be doing her any favors by making an issue of his presence yourself. If you’re worried your friend tolerates Chuck’s presence to avoid conflict and that being in the same space with him actually upsets her (or that the prospect of being in the same space with him keeps her from those spaces), discuss that with her one-on-one and then determine — based on her feelings and her ask — what, if anything, you can do to advocate for her effectively without white-knighting her or making this not-strictly-consensual-and-quite-possibly-rapey thing Chuck did to her all about you and your feelings. It’s really too bad Chuck reacted badly when your friend tried to talk to him about that night. If he’s an otherwise decent person who has a hard time reading people when he’s drunk, he needs to be made aware of that and drink less or not drink at all. If he’s a shitty person who takes advantage of other people when they’re drunk, he needs to know there will be social and potentially legal consequences for his behavior. The feedback your friend offered this guy — the way she tried to hold him accountable — could have prevented him from either fucking up like this again (if he’s a decent but dense guy) or taking advantage like this again (if he’s a shitty and rapey guy). If he was willing to listen, which he wasn’t. And since he wasn’t willing to listen … yeah, my money is on shitty and rapey, not decent but dense.
I’m a straight 45-year-old man. Good-looking. Three college degrees and one criminal conviction. Twice divorced. I’ve had some intense relationships with women I met by chance — one knocked on my door looking to borrow an egg — so I know I can impress women. But online dating doesn’t work for me because I’m only five foot seven. Most women online filter me out based on height. The other problem is that I’m extremely depressed. I’m trying to work on the depression (seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist), but the medications don’t seem to do much for me. This is probably due to my alcoholism. I’d love to start my online profile by boldly proclaiming my height and my disdain for shallow women who disregard me for it, but that would come across as bitter, right? SERIOUS HEARTBREAK OVER RELATIONSHIP TRAVAILS
There are plenty of five-foot-tall women out there, SHORT, women you’d tower over. But there are very few women who would respond positively — or at all — to a man whose online dating profile dripped with contempt for women who don’t want to fuck him. Rejection sucks, I know, but allowing yourself to succumb to bitterness only guarantees more rejection. And first thing’s first: Keep working on your depression with your mental-health team and please consider giving up alcohol. (I’m sure you’ve already considered it. Reconsider it.) No one is looking for perfection in a partner — and no one can offer perfection — but if dating you is likely to make someone’s life harder, SHORT, they aren’t going to want to date you. So get yourself into good working order and then start looking for a partner. And since you know you have better luck when you meet people face-to-face, don’t spend all your time on dating apps. Instead, find things you like to do and go do them. INFO@QCNERVE.COM
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