VOLUME 3, ISSUE 15; JUNE 16 - JUNE 29, 2021; WWW.QCNERVE.COM
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
NEWS& 5 OPINION 6 ARTS& CULTURE
4 OFF THE PLANTATION BY RYAN PITKIN Juneteenth event could have consequences for historic site
PUBLISHER
JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS jl afra n co i s @ q cn er ve.com
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF RYAN PITKIN rpi tk i n @ q cn e r ve. c om
ART DIRECTOR
JAYME JOHNSON jjo h n s o n @ q cn e r ve.com
STAFF WRITER
PAT MORAN pm o ra n @ q cn er ve . com
AD SALES EXECUTIVE RENN WILSON r wi l s o n @ q cn e r ve . com
DISTRIBUTION MANAGER JESSICA RAGLAND jragl a n d @ q cn e r ve.com
JUNETEENTH 2021 EVENT GUIDE
THE VOICE OF A VILLAGE BY ANNIE MCGOWAN New exhibit continues Mint Museum’s efforts to showcase local artists
10 LIFELINE: A DOSE OF REALITY
MUSIC 15 16 FOOD& DRINK LIFESTYLE
12 IT’S ALL CONNECTED BY PAT MORAN Greg Cox reaches another career ‘Milestone’ SOUNDWAVE
THE MOVING COMPANY BY JASIATIC ANDERSON Move That Dough’s Kacie Smagacz is constantly evolving in life and business
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NEWS & OPINION FEATURE
OFF THE PLANTATION
Juneteenth event leads to potential consequences for historic Huntersville site
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BY RYAN PITKIN
It’s the first two sentences of the event description for the since-canceled Kingdom Coming event, originally planned for the Juneteenth holiday at Latta Plantation in Huntersville, that grabs the reader’s attention — but in the worst way. “Come out to Historic Latta Plantation for a one night event, Saturday, June 19, 2021,” the description read. “You will hear stories from the massa himself. Federal troops (Yankees) have him on the run and his former bondsmen have occupied his home and are living high on the hog. Hear how they feel about being freedmen. “The overseer is now out of a job. What will he do now that he has no one to oversee from can see to can’t see?” the listing continued. “White refugees have been displaced and have a story to tell as well. Confederate soldiers who will be heading home express their feelings about the downfall of the Confederacy.” Staff at Latta Plantation, a circa-1800 farm where enslaved people were once kept and forced into labor that currently serves as a “living history museum,” posted the event to Facebook on Thursday, June 10, and by Friday it was taken down. By then the description had been shared in screenshots across social media, and the reaction was visceral. Countless folks took to Twitter and Facebook to point out their own issues with the event, namely the fact that it appeared to center white voices — the massa, the overseers, the Confederate troops — as victimized, sympathetic voices, all while the freedmen party it up in the big house. Hundreds of people also voiced their discomfort with a plantation holding events in recognition of a holiday celebrating the emancipation of folks once forced to toil on its lands against their will. “This has to be trolling. It has to be, [because] no one is this uninformed. This is willful ignorance,” tweeted James Ford, at-large member of the North Carolina State Board of Education, on June 12. “Also, ‘the overseer is out of a job’ is textbook postReconstruction white racial resentment politics. Explains a lot about today.”
As Abraham Lincoln historian Christian McWhirter pointed out, even the event title had dubious roots, referencing an 1862 song from white songwriter Henry Clay Work. The song, which tells the tale of enslaved people who seize a plantation as Union soldiers approach, does not sympathize with the plantation owners, and is told from the point-of-view of the newly freed Black residents. However, it’s a minstrel song, and the lyrics are written in the highly racist “minstrel dialect,” used to mock Black speech in the 19th century and well into the 20th. Despite the fact that Work was an avowed abolitionist, it was seen by some as satire and even embraced by Confederates in some instances. “Confederates who enjoyed the song presumably missed the abolitionist subtext entirely,” McWhirter wrote. “I’ve always supposed they must have just viewed ‘Kingdom Coming’ as an absurdist minstrel joke … So, yes, ‘Kingdom Coming’ is a racially charged, highly complicated piece of music. It should be used only with extreme care by anyone doing public programming or really anywhere at any time.”
of our people who overcame being snatched from Campbell’s statement. Ottley plans to hold a protest their loved ones in Mother Africa and taken to a new outside of the plantation on Saturday, June 19, the and strange land. To work from can see to can’t see day the event would have been held. from birth to death. The fact that they survived and “We can no longer watch while the atrocities we are here and continue to thrive and prosper will of chattel slavery are downplayed and pushed into the background for white comfort and white voices be glorified.” The statement went on to call out elected yet again to be heard,” Ottley told Queen City Nerve. officials such as Charlotte Mayor Vi Lyles, who “Once we begin to sympathize with the oppressor had issued a statement on Friday expressing her and the slave master, we victimize the slave all disappointment with the program. Campbell said over again. We know that the slave owners have a he had never seen Lyles at the plantation, implying story to tell but not at the expense of the Black men, women and children they owned, exploited, abused that gave her no right to criticize it. “Your opinions and concerns have been and sold. “In the same way the Jewish community makes respectfully noted,” Campbell wrote. “However, after reading this, many of you will still be offended, sure that we remember who the victims were during the Holocaust, we as Black people in America will some will be supportive, thank you.” The unapologetic nature of the statement and not let you forget who the stolen Africans were failure to recognize how the event description was and that they were the real victims of slavery,” she read as insensitive by so many people did not sit continued. Ottley and others will gather outside of the well with Huntersville Town Commissioner Stacy Phillips. She responded on Twitter, emphasizing that plantation on Sample Road in Huntersville on June she was speaking for herself and not the town as a 19 at 3 p.m. “The only way to healing and forgiveness is whole when she wrote, “if your attitude is ‘screw the concerned’ then you clearly don’t need $20,000 from through acknowledgement, accountability, apology the town,” referencing the allocation the plantation and atonement,” Ottley said. The backlash The reaction from local elected officials was swift. has requested from the town for the coming fiscal RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM Mecklenburg County, which owns the land where year. Nor was local organizer Kass Otley impressed by the Historic Latta Plantation and Nature Preserve operates through an independent nonprofit, issued a statement on June 11 emphasizing that it has “zero tolerance for programs that do not embrace equity and diversity,” and promising that, “As a result of this incident, Mecklenburg County is looking at its contract with the facility vendor regarding future programming.” That same day, the Town of Huntersville issued a statement that read, in part, “The Huntersville Board of Commissioners has supported Latta Plantation in the past with an annual contribution. Funding for the new fiscal year will remain on hold pending further investigations into the facts surrounding this program.” Management at Latta Plantation stayed mum until Saturday afternoon, when site manager Ian Campbell finally released a defensive statement blaming the “media corps of yellow journalists” for stirring the public into a frenzy. (1701 N. Graham St • Between The Mount & Keswick Districts) Farmers Campbell, a Black man himself, proudly offered no apologies, claiming the event was a Ranchers “unique educational event” and promising that “the Confederacy will never be glorified, white supremacy will never be glorified, plantation Food Artisans northendmarketclt.com owners, white refugees or overseers will never be glorified. What will be commemorated is the story @northendmarketclt Crafters
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NEWS & OPINION FEATURE
the end of slavery for the 250,000 enslaved peoples still in Texas. By December of that year, slavery was formally abolished by the passing of the 13th Amendment. Juneteenth, also known as Jubilee Day, celebrates the end of slavery in the U.S. and is marked by music, BBQs, prayer, and other community celebrations. Over the decades, its popularity has Where to celebrate freedom risen and fallen, and is currently on the rise again in light of the Black Lives Matter movement and more and the future awareness around racial issues. Charlotte communities are celebrating this BY STAFF momentous occasion with a ton of enriching and Juneteenth marks the day in 1865 that federal celebratory events through the week of Juneteenth troops arrived in Galveston, Texas, to ensure that all around the city. Here are just a few. all enslaved peoples were freed. Although the Emancipation Proclamation was announced and CHARLOTTE BLACK FILM FESTIVAL put into effect two-and-a-half years prior, many Celebrating African-American voices in film as well states that were not in the Confederacy but still held as independent filmmakers, the Charlotte Black Film enslaved peoples had not freed them yet, as the Festival is going on its 11th year of uplifting those Emancipation Proclamation only applied to those voices. Remaining virtual in 2021, the film festival within the Confederacy. boasts student films, feature-length films, short Texas was one of those states, and many films and documentaries. enslavers had moved there, viewing it as a haven More: Sold out; June 16-20, times vary; online; for slavery. However, in spring 1865, Union Army charlotteblackfilmfestival.com General Gordon Granger’s arrival in Texas marked
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JUNETEENTH IN CHARLOTTE 2021 GUIDE
JUNETEENTH OF THE CAROLINAS
The Juneteenth of the Carolinas celebration was launched to celebrate the ending of slavery in the U.S. and share the history of that time while providing a connection to contemporary culture and the future. Juneteenth of the Carolinas is entering its 24th year of celebration, including a peaceful march for Black lives that will start at Grady Cole Center and end at House of Africa in Plaza Midwood, which has served as the center for the celebration for many years. The march begins at 10 a.m. on June 19. More: Free; June 17-20; Plaza Midwood neighborhood; juneteenthofthecarolinas.com
JUNETEENTH CELEBRATION
FREEDOM
Celebrating the holiday with live performances, food trucks, music, and more. More: Free-$75; June 19; Kingdom Covenant Church, 2731 N. Graham St.; tinyurl.com/KingdomCovenant
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Decorate your vehicle and join the Juneteenth Drive Through Celebration on the Beatties Ford Road corridor. Afterwards, enjoy African performances, Juneteenth coloring sheets, and children’s activities. BELMONT JUNETEENTH CELEBRATION More: Free; June 19, 12:30 p.m.; line up at McCrorey YMCA, 3801 Beatties Ford Road; afterparty begins at The neighborhood of Belmont is celebrating 3 p.m.; 1412 Beatties Ford Road Juneteenth with a parade, vendors, and a virtual 2K facebook.com/ForTheStruggleInc walk. With a mission to cultivate cultural awareness, acceptance, and preservation through artistic and AFRICAN DANCE cultural events, the Belmont Juneteenth Celebration JUNETEENTH is celebrating its fifth year of serving the community. EXPERIENCE More: Free; June 19; Belmont neighborhood; Elsie Mufuka, owner and founder of Mufuka Works tinyurl.com/BelmontJuneteenth Dance Company, takes the workshop on a journey through the history of African dance, and examines the numerous dance styles of sub-Saharan Africa. JUNETEENTH JAM Two years after the Emancipation Proclamation, The class will focus on the role dance has traditionally freedom finally came. Conceived by Emmy Award- played in celebrations, and how body movement has winning poet Boris “Bluz” Rogers, The Juneteenth affected healing. Mufuka, who traces her bloodline Jam celebration takes place at multiple Uptown back to Zimbabwe, guides participants through locations including Victoria Yards, The Square on simple but expressive dance choreography, after the Plaza and the NASCAR Hall of Fame Plaza. which all can perform as a collective. The festival features live music, interactive dance More: Free; June 19, 1 p.m.; Gantt Center for sessions by Reba Bowens, demonstrations by Ginga African American Arts + Culture, 551 S.Tryon St.; Capoeira, hip-hop performances curated by We ganttcenter.org Are Hip Hop’s AJ Glasco, and the return of Dammit Wesley and BLKMRKTCLT’s Durag Fest (below). SOULFLO JUNETEENTH DAY EDITION More: Free; June 18 - 19; The Square, Victoria Yards, Last year, Davidson College apologized for supporting NASCAR Hall of Fame; slavery in the 19th century and for embracing racism blumenthalarts.org/events/detail/juneteenth-jam in the time that followed. Now the surrounding town that bears the college’s name is hosting a Juneteenth celebration. Soulflo, sponsored by Culture Blocks, is DURAG FEST Deconstructing misconceptions and biases about a blend of storytelling, and spoken-word and live the iconic item that is the durag, Durag Fest will music by Emaejai, DayVon and Sajoya Jasper, and bring together the community with live music from 1WAYNORTH. The S.O.U.L.F.L.O. Band, Dr. T and John Tia Corine, DJ Fannie Mae and other artists, plus food Harris III host the empowering festivities. As the event’s press release puts it, “Prepare for dulcified trucks, screen printing, and more. More: Free; June 19; The Square, Victoria Yards, delights dipped in the Soulflo!” More: Free; June 19, 7 p.m.; Davidson Village Green, NASCAR Hall of Fame; duragfestival.com 119 S. Main St., Davidson; tinyurl.com/DavidsonJuneteenth INFO@QCNERVE.COM
THE 2020 JUNETEENTH OF THE CAROLINAS CELEBRATION IN PLAZA MIDWOOD.
PHOTO BY JAYME JOHNSON
DAY
ARTS FEATURE
THE VOICE OF A VILLAGE
New Mint Museum exhibit continues institution’s efforts to highlight local artists
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BY ANNIE MCGOWAN
roots all over, representing the transplant nature of the city and its reliance on immigrants. The artists also work in a multitude of mediums, from ceramics to metal to fibers, representing a diverse array of backgrounds and cultures through art. Jen Edwards, curator at Mint Museum and cofounder of Goodyear Arts, worked as a go-between for centering local artists in Charlotte’s oldest arts museum. “One of the reasons why I find Charlotte so extraordinary is that the artist collective community here is so strong and dynamic, and supporting such a diverse range of work that’s being made,” Edwards told Queen City Nerve. “I genuinely lived and traveled through a lot of places, and that network of artist collectives in Charlotte is quite extraordinary. And so, it is a great opportunity to highlight the work being done here.” The exhibit will bring together three of Charlotte’s most innovative artist collectives, combining into a celebration of the Charlotte art scene.
In a sign of how Charlotte’s oldest arts institution is shifting focus to support more local and diverse artists, The Mint Museum-Randolph in June opened an expansive exhibit featuring work from local indie artist collectives Goodyear Arts, BLKMRKTCLT, and Brand the Moth, featuring more than 40 artists from the Charlotte area. Each collective claims a room at the museum to display their respective works. The exhibit, titled It Takes a Village, follows the lead of a recent three-day pop-up exhibit at the museum’s original location on Randolph Road that ‘For us, by us’ also showed the works of around 40 local artists, BLKMRKTCLT is based in Camp North End and with a focus on artists of color and underground made for people of color by people of color, said street artists. While LOCAL/STREET lasted just co-founder and studio manager Will Jenkins. With three days, It Takes events focused to a Village will last introduce Charlotte three months, and to the next big while the art isn’t artist, BLKMRKTCLT quite as packed in as also serves as a safe it was during LOCAL/ space for artists of STREET, the more color to create. spread out nature of “BLKMRKT as the exhibit allows a collective came the viewer to zero into fruition mainly in on what has been because there was included. no safe creative Running from space for African June 12 to Sept. 12, Americans to just It Takes a Village authentically features artists make the art that overlap with that represents the LOCAL/STREET them,” Jenkins told exhibit, as well as Queen CIty Nerve. some who worked “The mission of on the Black Lives BLKMRKT is not Matter mural A PHOTO COLLAGE BY BLKMRKTCLT’S WILL JENKINS. only creating that painted between space, but pushing East 3rd and East 4th the idea of what is authentic Black artistry.” streets in June 2020 during nationwide protests BLKMRKTCLT co-founder Carla Aaron-Lopez that followed the police killings of George Floyd served as lead organizer and curator of the LOCAL/ and Brianna Taylor. STREET pop-up in late March. She cites the lack of The local artists featured in the new exhibit have
minority voices within the Charlotte art scene as The Goodyear platform inspiration for her work. Goodyear Arts, another collective in the exhibit, “If you really want to know, BLKMRKT is the is a nonprofit artist residency and events program ‘now’ version of a Black arts collective in Charlotte, focused on visual, performing, and literary arts. the only other one that we can trace back to is God The Goodyear Arts collective is made up of more City in the early 2000s,” Aaron-Lopez told Queen City than 40 artist-in-residence alumni and current Nerve. “And there may have been more prior to that, leadership, and with each year it expands as they but that is because coverage of the arts in Charlotte support more artists. has lacked so much. It Takes a Village I believe is Amy Herman, co-founder and co-director of going to be a powerful exhibition.” Goodyear Arts, emphasizes the importance of The BLKMRKTCLT room includes an empowering retaining artistic talent in Charlotte. collaborative wall mural-turned-collage, photos by “To really give artists an opportunity by working Carey King Jr., multimedia pieces by Dammit Wesley together to sort of find them and create them is a and video content in which local Black creatives define how they view the term “Black Southern royalty,” among other works. During LOCAL/ STREET, the works of Black and brown creatives were featured over a weekend, during which Aaron-Lopez wanted those viewing the art in that specific building — the foundation for which was built by enslaved people in Charlotte to serve as the country’s first branch mint — to fully view the history of minority creatives in Charlotte. “There are so many GOODYEAR ARTS’ HOLLY KEOGH’S FEATURED WORK WITH FINE POINT MARKER. people in Charlotte who have not visited the Mint Museum on Randolph big part of what we do,” she said. “Part of being a or Uptown,” she continued. “And a lot of those collective is that we do have the use of the facilities people are Black and brown people, because when that get your art. You know, for me, having the use spaces are created to exclude groups of people, they of those facilities has been important in my practice. do not feel comfortable returning to those spaces, And I know that the other active members cite and that can stay that way for generations.” Goodyear as being a reason that they have stuck Aaron-Lopez saw great success over just three around Charlotte instead of seeking out a bigger days of LOCAL/STREET at the same location, and city. Just retaining that talent that we have in the hopes to see that popularity extend through the city; it’s very important.” months that the new exhibit is on display. Goodyear’s room at It Takes a Village features “The highlight of being in It Takes a Village perhaps the widest range of mediums, from fabric proves and seals that we are a part of Charlotte’s art to installations to wall paintings to an incredibly art history, because we’re doing the hard work of detailed drawing done on a skateboard with pen. supporting Black and brown artists of color here in Herman said Goodyear fits well into the new the city, whether they are from here or not,” she said. collaborative exhibit, as the collective prioritizes diversity in a similar way to BLKMRKTCLT and Brand the Moth, if operating in a different way.
ARTS FEATURE
collective,” the collective’s curation director Hannah Fairweather wrote to Queen City Nerve in an email. “We are a group of artists who, simply put, believe “Goodyear is extremely diverse in its residents, in our artist community here in Charlotte. Alongside as well as its art forms, and this builds community our own personal work, on display in this exhibit, over competition, and that helps further our personal pursuits as well as the art in Charlotte,” Herman said.
we put to practice the art of collaboration and seek to share this practice with as many artists as we can reach, to uplift the arts by and for our communities to make them sustainable and accessible” Brand the Moth’s room at the exhibit heavily
The Brand is strong
Rounding out the exhibit, Brand the Moth is another nonprofit dedicated to building a stronger community by lifting up unheard voices in Charlotte’s arts community. With a strong focus on local history and community, Brand the Moth pushes to uplift artists in Charlotte through public art with residency mural programs, workshops and the like. Like moths, the nonprofit claims to work “in the background” to create installations that not only make Charlotte a beautiful place, but also bring together artists from around the city in collaborative efforts. “As a nonprofit organization, Brand the Moth is a bit different from your traditional
features three artists, with popular street artists Arko and Owl taking up nearly an entire wall each, and founder Sam Guzzie displaying a large-scale art piece that includes visuals and a poem. Brand the Moth’s work also includes a collaborative installation, an intimidatingly spooky physical piece by Jay Watson and other works. “At the root of it all, we believe that it is through collaboration that community rises,” said Fairweather, who serves as partner as well as director of curation at Brand the Moth. “We do not need the same background, the same interests or even the same beliefs; in fact, it is through our differences that we thrive. As artists we all share the same goal, to inspire those around us through art and allow voices to be heard. Brand the Moth serves our artist community to do just that.” The It Takes a Village exhibit is open to all starting June 12. In September, Goodyear Arts plans to organize an event featuring live literary readings and other performance art. Learn more at mintmuseum.org.
BRAND THE MOTH HOSTS A COMMUNITY PAINT DAY AT MCGILL ROSE GARDEN. PHOTO COURTESY OF MINT MUSEUM
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ACE NO 3 MYERS PARK OPEN JUNE 17
829 PROVIDENCE RD | CHARLOTTE
IT TAKES A VILLAGE
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PHOTOS BY GRANT BALDWIN
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ONGOING
MICHELANGELO’S SISTINE CHAPEL
The immersive Van Gogh exhibit has drawn focus from this mesmerizing Michelangelo show, but they’re both worth checking out. Instead of going to Rome to see the ceiling’s frescoes 44 feet away from the Sistine Chapel floor below, patrons can see them up close. The paintings cemented Michelangelo’s reputation, but the sculptor never wanted the job in the first place, and insisted he was wrong for the task. In the 1560s, Pope Pius IV had the genitals of the artist’s nude figures painted over, but modern restorers stripped away the fig leaves. More: $13-$19.40; through July 31; Savona Mill, 401 S. Gardner Ave.; chapelsistinecharlotte.com/
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How do you make “free” even better? Add animals. The Mint Museum, which is open and free every Wednesday night, has partnered with Stevens Creek Nature Center to make its mid-week pick me up a little wilder. Drop by the lawn at Mint Museum Randolph to get up close with the animals who have inspired artists throughout history, pick up an animal-themed art kit, and go on a self-guided “Seek and Sketch Hunt” through the museum. More: Free; June 16, 6 p.m.; Mint MuseumRandolph, 2730 Randolph Road; mintmuseum.org
The Fillmore gets us back in the concert-going swing with a set by electronic dance act ATLiens. The DJ duo of Tommy Ross and Michael Ami Ronca appears to have taken a stylistic page from Daft Punk, appearing onstage and in public as robotic automatons, but instead of Daft Punk’s Phantom of the Paradise garb, ATLiens opt for a Dr. Doom-in-ahoodie look. With buzzing slabs of noise, interview samples of UFO sightings and erratic random beats, ATliens evoke ’90s nostalgia for both The X Files and Waxtrax Records. More: $20-$30; June 18, 7 p.m.; The Underground, 820 Hamilton St.; fillmorenc.com
WILD WEDNESDAYS AT MINT MUSEUM-RANDOLPH
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MOVIES ON THE LAWN: ‘THE GOODNIES’
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Basically, a tweens’ treasure-hunt movie played at high volume, The Goonies belongs to a curious ’80s subgenre — adventure movies that also try to gross out their target audience. Paced like an Indiana Jones movie the flick takes in hyperactive Home Alone style-slapstick, gruesome Gremlins-style action and underground booby traps straight out of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It’s a slapped-together movie, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t entertaining More: Free; June 23, 5:30 p.m.; Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden, 6500 S. New Hope Road, Belmont; dsbg.org
No one has encapsulated the appeal of Mipso better than the Chapel Hill band itself when they entitled their fifth album Dark Holler Pop. Mipso draws on the vocabulary of bluegrass — Appalachian dance rhythms and white-lightning instrumental runs that dovetail into a round robin off intertwined solos — and applies it to buoyant pop song structures and dark instrumental hues that suggest gothic country. The band’s mix of authenticity and experimentation has also paid off commercially. They’ve topped bluegrass and folk charts and even opened for Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York More: $80-$110; June 24, 7 p.m.; Rural Hill, 4431 Neck Road, Huntersville; maxxmusic.com
MOVIES ON THE LAWN: ‘THE GOONIES’
MIPSO
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Taking cues from legendary funk performers George Clinton, Sly Stone, Maceo Parker and The Meters, this Charlotte six-piece incorporates the standard setup of bass, drums, keyboards and guitar with an unstoppable horn section that conjures the heroic attack of Tower of Power. The band, which has curated their own party Culture Shift in Charlotte and beyond, infuse their swaggering funk with a twist of reggae and a bushel-full of brazen hard rock. More: Free; June 25, 7 p.m.; U.S. National Whitewater Center; 5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.; whitewater.org
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Heal Charlotte partners with law enforcement, city officials and civic services to advance the city’s communities. The STV event kicks off with a oneday summit that combines elements of arts, culture, entertainment, and education to bring awareness to the issues and provide solutions. After the summit, the conversation moves to Knight Theater, where League of Intelligence’s Maarifa Ukweli, leads an STV educational workshop. More: Free; June 26, 10 a.m.; McGlohon Theater; 1:40 p.m.; Knight Gallery at Spirit Square, 345 N. College St.; blumenthalarts.org
Since its founding, ArtPop Street Gallery’s Charlotte program has promoted 147 artists on millions of dollars of advertising space, and last December announced a new class of 20 artists to be showcased on billboards and other space around the city after a period in which founder Wendy Hickey was nearly forced to shut the Charlotte program down entirely as funding dried up during the COVID-19 pandemic. This pop-up will feature the works of five current members and alumni: Adam Jochim, Katherine Heilig, Molly Partyka, Liz Labunski, and Mary Zio. More: Free; June 26, 6-9 p.m.; Le Meridian, 555 S. McDowell St.; tinyurl.com/ArtPopUpCLT
The Táin Bó Cúailnge, or The Cattle raid of Cooley is an ancient Irish saga relating a war between two clans, each after a prized bull. It’s basically a dark age story of cattle rustling and gang violence. Now, imagine taking mist-shrouded mythology like this, filtering it through a steampunk sensibility, and setting it all to a blend of rock, mountain drum circles and Appalachian blues. Tuatha Dea, which takes its name from a mythic race of (frequently scary) faerie-folk, has forged a brand of progressive Americana that goes beyond cosplay with chops. More: $10-$12; June 27, 7 p.m.; Evening Muse, 3227 N. Davidson St.; eveningmuse.com
HEAL CHARLOTTE’S STOP THE VIOLENCE DAY
ARTPOP POP-UP
AKITA
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ART BY KATHERINE HEILIG, @_KLHDESIGNS (ARTPOP POP-UP)
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IMMERSIVE VAN GOGH EXPERIENCE
This 76,154-square-foot exhibit, made up of 500,000 cubic feet of moving projections, throws viewers into the work of Vincent Van Gogh, covering a wide range of his post-impressionist work and giving a glimpse into his mind that perhaps can’t be experienced by a simple viewing of his paintings. Charlotte is just the fifth American city to host the Immersive Van Gogh Experience, and Blumenthal’s Bree Stallings has worked effortlessly in recent months to amplify the impact of this world-renowned exhibit on the local art scene, bringing on two local artists in residence to work onsite while also showcasing 19 local artists in a gallery surrounding the exhibit space. More: $25-$40; Opens June 17, runs through Sept. 12; Ford Building, Camp North End, 330 Camp Road; vangoghclt.com
HEAL CHARLOTTE COFOUNDER, GREG JACKSON (HEAL CHARLOTTE’S STOP THE VIOLENCE)
6/26
TUATHA DAE
6/27
MUSIC FEATURE
push you to where you are now,” Cox says. Milestone, that blows the cobwebs off the listener’s brain. It his current path, at age 15 he asked to live with his not coincidentally, is the title of Cox’s latest full- recalls when saxophonist supreme John Coltrane father. His mother obliged. Sauls took his son to the length album, slated for a July 2 release. stepped beyond the constraints of hard bop into Glory Baptist Church of Wilson. There Cox found the He’ll feature the new material at a June 16 an undiscovered realm of polytonal torrents, or musical tribe he never knew he needed. concert at Neighborhood Theatre. The show will when art pop innovators Talking Heads left the “There was a plethora of young, insanely feature a band comprised of Evan Brice on keyboards, monochrome new wave of Fear of Music for the talented [musical] prodigies, 12- and 15-year-old Braxton Bateman on trumpet, Harvey Cummings on technicolor Afropop of Remain in Light. geniuses,” Cox recalls. “I was so intimidated by how Greg Cox reaches a career saxophone and Cedric “CJ” Thompson on drums. The amazing they were.” ‘Milestone’ gig will also be filmed by a video crew. Cox joined the group of young musicians, who Making of a musician “[Milestone] is the best album I’ve done to date,” went to the church after school and played for hours, Growing up in Wilson, Cox was surrounded by BY PAT MORAN Cox says. That’s a tall order for the producer who has music. His mother, Angela Cox, sang along with the sometimes going as late as 3 a.m. collaborated with gospel superstar Kirk Franklin, “We’re playing, sharing things and competing Greg Cox couldn’t believe his good fortune. At Charlotte songwriter Emily Sage, and R&B artist gospel and classic ’80s and ’90s R&B records she — going at each other,” Cox says. “It was like Sparta.” played. His father, minister and renowned gospel 19, the Wilson, North Carolina, native had the run A$H, among others. As the group members grew older, they singer Johnavan “Bo Peep” Sauls, is a songwriter of Stevie Wonder’s Hollywood mansion, graduated and started looking for gigs to hobnobbing with a group of young play. They all heard about the auditions musicians from across the country. The being held in New York for MTV’s Making talented yet untested artists were there for His Band. Cox learned about the opportunity the 2009 MTV reality show Making His Band, from his then-girlfriend. competing for a spot in executive producer “She wasn’t [saying] ‘Oh, this is so great!’ Sean “Diddy” Combs’ band for an upcoming It was like, ‘You need to go and do something tour. with your life!’” Cox says. After auditions in New York, Cox had He took a bus to New York and aced earned a spot among the finalists in L.A. the auditions. Out of all Cox’s friends who Competing as a pianist, Cox faced his biggest tried out, only his neighbor up the street in challenge in the show’s initial elimination Wilson, Jamareo Artis, also made the cut. round. Before being stumped by Monsieur “It was tough,” Cox remembers. “The Hanon’s finger work, Cox excelled at a few first exercise was this classical challenge — other filmed musical challenges in the L. A. Hanon exercises.” house, but they never made it into the show. Created by 19th-century French For Cox, it was a lesson in the editing “magic” composer Charles Louis-Hanon, the of reality TV. exercises are a series of scales and arpeggios The contest was also a lesson in the ways designed to train pianists in speed, agility, and means of the music business. Artis went strength and precision. They are a daunting on to win the competition, theoretically challenge, even for seasoned pianists, and earning a spot in Diddy’s touring band — Cox had never heard of them. On live TV, except he didn’t. Cox steadied his nerves and sat down at the Artis never played with Diddy. No one COURTESY OF GREG COX keyboard to give it his best shot. He failed IN THE STUDIO (FROM LEFT) WITH GREG COX, KIRK FRANKLIN ANDRON HILL did. After the show wrapped, Diddy’s people and was eliminated from the field. hired a music director who booked practiced “They had to eliminate someone,” Cox says His debut EP The Last Start, is a vulnerable and musicians instead of a fresh-faced kid from a reality with equanimity. “They [were] trying to find a way explosive 2012 project that draws upon unstinting who composed material for his gospel group Revive TV show. to weed out the group because everybody was self-examination. Released in 2018, Cox’s first full- as well as other worship performers. He cuts a “They wanted to go with people they knew, not commanding figure to this day. talented.” length album, Etc., delivers on the EP’s promise, a bunch of strangers,” Cox says. “Everywhere we went, everyone knew my dad,” Now a Grammy Award-winning singer, examining the personal repercussions of fatherhood Today he understands the decision. Fledgling songwriter and producer at age 31, Cox is beyond and the public fallout from systemic racism. Yet Cox remembers. Since Cox looked just like his dad, musicians like himself and Artis still had to pay their philosophical about his brief exposure on TV 12 despite these musical high points, Cox may be he earned the sobriquet Little Bo Peep. Cox’s parents dues. Incidentally, in a chain of events that couldn’t years ago. In fact, he embraces that setback, right about Milestone. Lush and multi-layered, yet split up when he was 4 years old, and his mother have been anticipated, Cox’s friend Artis met Bruno reasoning that it set him on the path that brought emotionally direct, the album has the hallmarks of raised him. While his brother and sister made the Mars outside a New York club where Artis was high school honor roll, Cox was the family’s black him to where he is today. Each life contains pivotal a masterpiece. playing bass in R&B performer Monica’s band. Mars sheep. moments that change its trajectory, he says, Milestone catapults past his previous recordings, “I got whoopin’s all the time for disciplinary recognized Artis from Making His Band and hired tracing a series of events in his own life that have as engaging, heartfelt and fine-tooled as they are. him for his group. led from that long-ago disappointment to success, Though Cox would demur at the comparisons, the actions and academic failures,” Cox says. “I didn’t feel “Next thing you know they’re playing the like my mom understood me.” fatherhood, heartbreak and a renewal of faith. album boasts a fresh, eclectic and hook-filled attack Superbowl,” Cox says. In the first of a chain of events that set Cox on “There are milestones in everyone’s life that
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IT’S ALL CONNECTED
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MUSIC FEATURE
the way, decided to move to the Queen City too. “If my dreams only make my life better, they’re “I was growing as a husband at the time,” Cox too small,” Cox says. “If your dreams are too small says. “I was taking a look at who I was to myself, to you need bigger dreams.” God, etc. my wife at the time, and to my kids.” “Baby calm down / You ain’t got to talk loud / After his brief sojourn in L.A., Cox returned to In 2018 Cox released his debut album Etc. The Scream and shout,” Cox sings in “Three Words”, a song Wilson. Although he never stopped believing he collection reflected Cox’s reinvigorated faith, his about conflict resolution efforts that ultimately would be successful in music, this was a dark period for Cox. He went through a break-up and witnessed a Bernie Madoff-style scam unfold at his church that left him questioning his faith. Further upheaval was engendered by his move to Raleigh. Out of the turmoil came the raw material for his debut EP The Last Start. Grammy award-winning songwriter and performer K.J. Scriven heard this collection of songs spurred by hurt and sorrow and was blown away. Needing a piano player who could also produce, he reached out to Cox, and the pair instantly connected. Cox remembers their first phone conversation lasting three or four hours. “K.J. is like the Jay-Z to my Kanye West,” Cox confides, noting that, “Jay-Z is like the big brother Kanye West never had but always wanted.” Cox and Scriven launched a friendly years-long debate about the existence of God. Eventually Scriven won the debate, leading Cox on a renewed spiritual journey that changed his life and shifted his focus. He came to terms with how the church shaped his music and his life. For a lot of performing artists the Black church is the best stage to learn, he says. It’s an incubator for Black music. “It’s the hub where you’re shaped,” he says. “It’s a space that allows you to develop.” Historically Black American music has maintained a tension between R&B and gospel, the sacred and the profane, the church and the dancehall. Folklore says Sam Cooke was haunted by the dichotomy between the spirit and the flesh. In legend, blues guitarist Robert Johnson paid dearly for the gifts the devil bestowed on him at a moonlit crossroads. Cox maintains that divisions in music between the sacred and the everyday are no longer necessary, if they ever were. GREG COX “There shouldn’t be bifurcation in what we PHOTO COURTESY OF THE GARDEN experience. It’s all one experience,” Cox maintains. “There is no separation anymore.” own vulnerability and the challenges of marriage failed. In this remarkably open confessional, Cox To support his thesis, which sees media, life and and fatherhood. The smooth and soulful “Bigger acknowledges failings that led to the dissolution of music as a continual mash-up, he points to a video Dreams,” which opens the album, reflects Cox’s his marriage. queue on YouTube where every kind of content sits shifting priorities. In his grainy tenor he croons “We [were] fighting each other, instead of side by side, regardless of subject, tone or intent. about a cherry-red convertible dream car only to fighting for each other. That’s where we ended up”. “It’s all just a scroll away.” acknowledge that the vehicle is too small to fit his From the deeply personal, the album shifts When Scriven decided to relocate to Charlotte, family and his life. to the openly political. Following a sample pulled Cox, by then married with one child and another on
from actor Jesse Williams speech at the BET Awards, Cox’s gruff, overmodulated vocal conveys sorrow and outrage in “Play Outside.” The song condemns the 2014 killing of 12-year-old African-American boy Tamir Rice by white police officer Timothy Loehmann. As a father of a young boy, Cox finds the case particularly disturbing. “Our kids can’t even play outside with toy guns without getting killed,” Cox says. “Police see [Tamir] with the toy gun, they think he’s a felon. When they see a white kid with a gun, police say, ‘Oh, he’s a cowboy. He’s playing cowboys and Indians.’” Cox says the child’s game he mentions is a potent symbol for white America’s genocidal impulses. Looking back at his criticality lauded 2018 album, Cox sees it as an open extension of himself as a husband, father, artist and friend. “That’s why I called it Etc. It’s who I am altogether, the good, the bad and the etcetera.
Milestones
“Everything is connected,” Cox proclaims. To prove his point, Cox relates the circumstances and connections that led to his surprising collaboration with contemporary gospel great Kirk Franklin, a project that netted Cox a Grammy. “If I had never met KJ, I would never have moved to Charlotte, and I would never had made my Etc. album,” Cox says. A copy of Etc. got into the hands of Da Truth, a Christian rapper produced by Cox. Meanwhile Scriven had sent a copy of the same album to RCA Records executive Ron Hill. Sometime later, both Hill and Da Truth were in the same room with Franklin, pitching Cox’s vocal abilities to the gospel star. Franklin decided Cox would be perfect for his song “Strong God.” Cutting a song for one of his musical heroes was a surreal experience, Cox remembers. Ever since childhood, Cox has been insecure about his singing voice. Now Franklin was sitting in a studio telling Cox that he loved that very same voice. “First he played the song for me. Then he put me in the booth and said, ‘Do your thing.’” After Cox cut the first take, Franklin was ecstatic and proclaimed the vocal track a keeper. “He was acting like I’m Whitney Houston in there,” Cox says. Cox found Franklin to be open and generous. The two performed “Strong God” at the Dove Awards, and Franklin invited Cox to come on tour with him. They shot a music video, and “Strong God” was recently nominated for a BET Award. “The album got a Grammy in 2020 so I got a Grammy because I sang on the album,” Cox says. The irony is not lost on him. A performer who was so
MUSIC FEATURE self-conscious about his voice is an award-winning vocalist. Cox subsequently earned another Grammy nomination in 2021 for Best Gospel Album as a producer for Myron Butler’s My Tribute, but didn’t win the award. Prior to and throughout the period when Cox was recording and touring with Franklin, he continued to write, produce and release singles, seeking out artists who caught his ear for collaborations. Cox has cut two songs with Charlotte singersongwriter Emily Sage, “The Other Side” in 2015 and “Find a Way” in 2019. “Emmy is an icon to me,” Cox says. He remembers that Sage came to his album release party and they connected after the show. Cox realized his crowd, albeit integrated, contained more Black than white people. Likewise, the integrated audience at Sage’s events included more white people than Black people. “I thought we [could] put our crowds together, maybe start connections with people, and the community could really integrate here,” Cox says. He believes the project succeeded, noting that “The
Other Side” is one of the most played songs on his Spotify to this day. For “Find a Way,” Cox says he channeled Al Green’s 1971 R&B hit “Tired of Being Alone,” building the new song on the chords that Green used for his hook. After a great beginning, Cox feels Green’s tune goes all over the map. Cox maintains he rectifies Green’s misstep, by keeping “Find a Way” tied to the chords that underpin the best part of Green’s song. In 2020, Cox collaborated with his favorite artist A$H. After connecting with the singer on her Facebook page, Cox perfected, polished and burnished the song “All Alone” and sent it to her. When she didn’t respond for a week, he thought he’d blown his chance to work with her, but after careful consideration, A$H declared herself enamored with “All Alone.” After A$H wrote a bridge for the tune, a section Cox calls the best part of the song, the two recorded their respective verses, completed the song and subsequently shot a video for “All Alone” in Atlanta. Cox has nicknamed A$H “The Golden Gate” for her exemplary work on the bridge. The two artists have expressed aspirations to tour together. The major music event on Cox’s radar right now is the impending release of Milestone. The album
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Never miss the catch again. Ride CATS and get back in the game. R i d e t r a n s i t . o r g / C AT S C o n fi d e n c e
kicks off with the slice of progressive soul “Freedom.” Layered currents of voices, keyboards and beats float as free as birds wheeling overhead, yet the ethereal R&B madrigal is tethered to reality as Cox raps a litany of wrongs. “This the vibe you need when life gets hard / This the vibe you need to go quit your job / Our people pray when they’re swiping the car / They’re making millions while we’re getting robbed...” On the yearning heartache ballad “Care,” Cox’s fine-grained vocals implore a lover to stay as his repetition of the line “I care about you” takes on the power of an incantation. The jazzy sassy “Idiot” rides bouncy hip-hop beats punctuated with stabbing horns while Cox’s frenetic wordplay reels off couplets about the draining effects of modern living. Yet, it is the uplifting “Good Day” that serves as the album’s calling card. Featuring gospel artists Shay and Isaiah Templeten, the tune rides soaring swarming vocals and rolling gospel organ until a splash of tumbling keyboards segue to Cox’s upbeat exhortation. “Wake up now / Put the cold water in your face / Gotta put the naysayers in their place/ I can feel it in the air...”
Cox wrote “Good Day” when he was touring with Franklin. The song inspired and cemented Cox’s current philosophy. “It pushed me into a space where I recognized everything is connected. Every experience I ever had brings me to a point where I am now.” Milestones, these pivotal moments that change the trajectory of your life, are things that should be commemorated, Cox believes. He says his album encourages listeners to look back over their lives to discover tipping points and connections, but it’s even more about embracing the now — all the painful, beautiful and inspiring moments, filled with triumph, failure, heartbreak, and vulnerability. To drive the point home, Cox’s June 16 concert will feature an 8-foot-tall Styrofoam rock at the center of the Neighborhood stage, a “milestone” draped in white. Cox says “Good Day” celebrates looking forward to the unfolding day, with nothing holding you back. “You embrace what’s going to happen because you’ve overcome so much already,” Cox says. “This album is the high mark of everything I’ve done. It’s a milestone!” PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM
MUSIC JUN 16 - JUN 29
Amigo, Brut Beat (Snug Harbor) Space Daddy and the Galactic Go-Go’s, The Flight Risks (Tommy’s Pub) Brit Drozda, Mason Zgoda (Evening Muse) Three Star Revival, Deaf Andrews (Evening Muse)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Jeff Lorber Trio (Middle C Jazz)
JUNE 27
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
JUNE 16
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
JUNE 19
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Sam Tayloe and Friends (Evening Muse) New Faces of Country (Coyote Joe’s)
Anchor Detail, Hold Fire, The Donner Deads (Tommy’s Pub)
Greg Cox (Neighborhood Theatre)
Virginia Ground (US National Whitewater Center)
Jazzathon II: Summer of Patt (Tommy’s Pub) Remember Whensdays (Middle C Jazz)
Green Velvet (QC Social Lounge)
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
JUNE 17
ROCK/PUNK/METAL Cosmic Charlie (Visulite Theatre)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA Graham Sharp, Justin Fedor (Neighborhood Theatre) Cory Branan, Ross Adams (Evening Muse)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA DJ/ELECTRONIC
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B Joslyn Hampton and The Sweet Compression (US National Whitewater Center)
JUNE 18
ROCK/PUNK/METAL Firehouse (Amos’ Southend)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA Peter Karp (Evening Muse) Unspoken Tradition (US National Whitewater Center)
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DJ/ELECTRONIC ATLiens (Underground) Capozzi (QC Social Lounge)
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL Noel Freidline and Maria Howell (Tommy’s Pub) Dee Lucas and Gino Rosaria (Stage Door Theater) Charlotte Symphony: Evenings at the Park (Symphony Park)
DJ/ELECTRONIC
CID(QC Social Lounge) DJ Dara (Serj)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
JUNE 26
Tuatha Dea (Evening Muse) Celtic Session with Alan Davis (Tommy’s Pub)
ROCK/PUNK/METAL Killakoi, Renee Phoenix, Living in My Shadow (Amos’ Southend) Little Bird (US National Whitewater Center) Junior Astronomers, 2 Slices (Snug Harbor) Colleen Orender (Evening Muse)
JUNE 29
DJ/ELECTRONIC DJ Fat Keith Richards (Tommy’s Pub)
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B Quentin Talley and the Soul Providers (Evening Muse)
JUNE 2021
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Noel Freidline and Maria Howell (Tommy’s Pub)
JUNE 20
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL Marqueal Jordan (Middle C Jazz)
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Andre Ferreri Quintetto CD Release (Middle C Jazz)
Taylor McCall (Evening Muse)
JUNE 22
ROCK/PUNK/METAL Craig Owens (Neighborhood Theatre)
JUNE 24
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA Mipso (Rural Hill)
ROCK/PUNK/METAL The 502s (US National Whitewater Center)
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B Shiprocked (Snug Harbor)
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL Charlotte Symphony: Celebrate America (Truist Field)
JUNE 25
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B Akita (US National Whitewater Center)
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
So Called Natives, Woah, Bluestone Motel (Amos’ Southend)
WfErDi j u n e 1 6
thu june 17
BRANAN SAM TAYLOE & FRIENDSCORY W/ ROSS ADAMS thu june 17
CORY BRANAN W/ ROSS ADAMS
fri june 18
PETER KARP sat j u n e TRIO 26
s a t j u n ORENDER e 19 COLLEEN fri june 18 QUENTIN TALLEY & TAYLOR MCCALL PETER KARP TRIO THE SOUL PROVIDERS
sat june 19
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DROZDADEA TUATHA QUENTIN TALLEY & BRIT W/W/MASON ZGODAWATER LIFE LIKE THE SOUL PROVIDERSTHREE STAR REVIVAL wed june 30
fri june 25
BRIT DROZDA W/ MASON ZGODA
& DEAF JENSON, ANDREWS ALEXA sat june 26
BRANDON BERG COLLEEN ORENDER
wed june 30 THREE STAR REVIVAL ALEXA JENSON, & DEAF ANDREWS BRANDON BERG eveningmuse.com
3 3 2 7 n d av i d s o n s t, c h a r l o t t e n c
FOOD & DRINK FEATURE
THE MOVING COMPANY
Move That Dough’s Kacie Smagacz is constantly evolving in life and business BY JASIATIC ANDERSON
I’ve always marveled at the consistency and brilliance of Kacie Smagacz, founder of Move That Dough Baking Co., a local vegan pastry brand. When I first met her she was working with Two Scoops Creamery, making vegan ice cream, while also doing a weekend pop-up brunch with Sunburger Cuisine and Shonda Caines of EBN’s Vegan Cuisine. Move that Dough quickly became a Saturday morning ritual. One of my favorite things to grab from Move that Dough is the S’mores Pop Tart, but it’s all delightful and there’s something for everyone. I could go on for days about how wonderfully talented and thorough this human is, but I’d rather leave it to her, so I sat down with her recently to explain what drives her, how motherhood has affected her journey, and how she views the future of Move That Dough, among other things.
What have you learned about yourself through this business? I was un-self-aware that I am ADHD-brained until about a year ago. I always felt different and was often told so. A lot made sense after realizing how I’m wired and that I’m not alone. I went into business with only impulse, adrenaline, passion, naive belief — no logic, and literally no business plan. That would make some people panic, but it has proved to be a really authentic flow for my life. In a world that wants us all to be neurotypical, this now feels like a good way to honor myself.
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SOME TREATS FROM MOVE THAT DOUGH.
Jasiatic: Tell me about yourself. Kacie: I’m Kacie Smagacz: neurodivergent, creative, question asker, learner, rebellious, fire sign, “too much,” prodigal son/black sheep of the family. I’ve lived multiple lives in this lifetime and I’ve ended up loving them all, along with the lessons they’ve blessed me with. I had an idea about six years ago to use my past training with baking paired with my passion for justice, nutrition and healing to create a bakery that could meet the desires and needs of folks with different food allergies or preferences. This idea has been an undercurrent through the weirdest, best, hardest, most real seasons of my life. It’s a blessing and privilege to have an idea pay my bills, help to pay my friends’ bills, and meet needs in this community, and I’ve fallen in love with it for as long as it’s been going.
How has mommyhood impacted your work? When I got pregnant, I didn’t plan on it. I was able to pay for a midwife thanks to my work. I was able to work nights when she was a newborn and be with her during the day. Establishing a deep bond was more important to me than any work I could imagine; work became secondary. I’ve been able to maintain being present with her during the day while working at night for more than three years now. As we expand in our individual ways, things keep naturally shifting to where our needs are met without having to make some formulated plan. If anything makes me believe in the universe and/or
God having my back, it’s this organic happening of or my actual trauma guiding me. needs being met without knowing how. Wounding: sitting with mine, curbing when I’m projecting, holding myself accountable. Other There is a lot of “play” in your visuals. What’s people’s wounding, too; a lot of small business the inspiration for that and how has it owners are passionate and come from a similar evolved? drive of feeling the need to be self sufficient. This I have always oscillated between extreme can sometimes look like a scarcity mentality where introvert and performative class clown. I try my best distrust and fear guide the energy. Knowing this to use the privilege I have as a local business owner without enabling it has been a really recent lesson. to be real, to make people and myself think, to make Learning that standing up for myself isn’t actually people laugh and to be authentic. wrong, even if it takes confrontation. I’m now a part of a team who shares this energy Confrontation is sometimes actually the most and it’s been so easy to play together. It feels like loving thing we can receive or give, and it’s not a reward for the lack of sleep. Life is serious, we in our control how we are received by others. It’s painful to watch other small-business owners self-sabotage by pushing away good employees and people, and that serves as motivation for me to remain open versus jaded or bitter. Demand: whether it be quantity or flavors or my actual time — learning to have boundaries around demand has been a huge lesson. Just because it’s asked of me or demanded of me doesn’t mean it’s aligned with me and that’s OK. I’m not a bad person for having to say no and not every potential customer is meant to be your customer. The customer is actually not always right, and we can get real about our limitations. What are your personal food philosophies? My beliefs around most things are consistently shifting. To me that reflects a willingness to learn, which I’m down PHOTO BY ALEX MCCUTCHEON with. For a while I displaced my extreme evangelical upbringing — black and can acknowledge that without cloaking it in false white thinking — onto food philosophy. I was positivity 24/7, but comedy definitely helps to take essentially trying to persuade people without the edge off. consent into a way of thinking that I personally vibed with. What are your biggest challenges working in Through the continual confronting of things like the plant-based community in Charlotte? the narcissistic tendencies involved in colonization Honestly most of the challenges I’ve experienced and white supremacy, I’ve since learned to shut the have ended up being vital lessons, in life in general fuck up and listen more. All that to say, my biggest and business being a mirror to that. goal or philosophy at this time is to listen. Bodies are Trust: becoming a version of myself I could individual. Cultures matter. Access matters. Ableism trust, trusting those around me. I come from an is alive and well in the plant-based community, insecure family and upbringing, and have to work whether it be financial, physical, mental, emotional, intentionally to lean into trust and intimacy in or anything else. relationships of any kind. It’s not easy. This has been I’m proud to say I shed the need to judge, and a repeat opportunity to learn from in business, too. I try to just do what’s best for my local economy as A balance between knowing when it’s my intuition much as possible.
FOOD & DRINK FEATURE What’s your dream for the future? To remain “on brand,” I don’t actually know. I know I want to protect children. I want to advocate for neurodivergent people like me. I would love to use my training as an end-of-life doula more. I would love to keep extending in whatever is presented as long as it aligns. Something that’s been on my heart and in my literal dreams is having a house with a small amount of land to turn into a creative center. No agenda, no diagnosing, just a space for folks of all ages, all brain types, all abilities, to come and work creatively and engage in something truly healing.
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How can we be better supporters of your work? How can we be better patrons? I legitimately can’t think of a way. I ran from love, I ran from my family and my circle — directly into this community in Charlotte who have shown up for me in every way for years. When my mom recently died from COVID, this community paid for her cremation. This community raised over $8,000 so my siblings and I could pay for death certificates, pay to travel to spread her ashes and more. I could not ask for more and could easily cry thinking about how the love I didn’t believe existed — the love I actively ran from — has sought me out here, even in my hardest times. It might not be the same “business model” as bigger companies but it fits me and it has carried me in ways I didn’t know I needed. Where can we find all your yumminess in Charlotte? Each week I spend the weekday evenings building up a menu for the weekend. I use Instagram to post when and where items are available. Predictably the widest variety and quantity will be at Common Market-Oakwold off of Monroe Road each weekend. I also send small batches to Plant Joy (Camp North End), Green Brothers Juice & Smoothie Co. (Foxcroft, South End and Park Road), The Hobbyist (Villa Heights), Bart’s Mart (Commonwealth Park), Queen City Grounds (Fourth Ward), Central Coffee (Elizabeth), Press and Porter (Concord), Common Market (South End). Follow Kacie @movethatdoughbakingco on IG to stay up on all of her goodness. INFO@QCNERVE.COM
Recycle your
GLASS with CLASS Bring your glass recycling to one of our Full Service Recycling Centers for separate recycling – in the Big Yellow Bins.
June is GLASS recycling month! Learn more at
www.WipeOutWaste.com
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LIFESTYLE PUZZLES
LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU
BY LINDA THISTLE
PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.
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PG.18 PUZZLE ANSWERS
TRIVIA TEST BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ
1. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Who was the first president to sign into law a declaration of war? 2. TELEVISION: What was the name of the federal agent in the 1990s drama “Twin Peaks”? 3. GEOGRAPHY: What is the smallest country in South America? 4. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the color maroon? 5. INVENTIONS: When was the can opener invented? 6. MOVIES: What was Andy Dufresne’s profession before he was sent to prison in 1994’s “The Shawshank Redemption”? 7. U.S. STATES: Which state was the last one to be admitted to the union? 8. FAMOUS QUOTES: Who wrote this about summer, “Live in the sunshine. Swim in the sea. Drink in the wild air”? 9. HISTORY: In what year were the first slaves from Africa brought on a ship to the American colonies? 10. GEOLOGY: What kind of rock is coal?
CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Austrian peaks 5 MLB stat 8 Mitch who wrote “Tuesdays With Morrie” 13 Three-tone chords 19 Toxin-fighting fluids 20 Critter treater 21 “The king,” in France 22 Popular social news website 23 Extracted element #79 with a big hammer? 26 Renee of silent films 27 “Science Kid” of PBS 28 Reinforcing eyelet in a hole 29 Go out on -31 Chilling stuff 32 Unfeeling 34 Element #16 that’s causing difficulty? 37 Owls’ prey 38 Carrere of “Jury Duty” 41 Fleming and McKellen 42 “August: Osage County” playwright Tracy 43 “That celestial object seems to be composed of element #5”? 48 Tartan wearers, e.g. 50 Some dashes 51 Neighbor of Lithuania 52 Off-road rides, in brief 53 Before now 56 Sea rovers plundering element #6? 60 Big road rig 63 Bismarck-to-Austin dir. 64 -- Tome 65 Overcomes 66 Shawls, e.g. 68 ICU worker 71 Genetic ID
73 Small sample 74 Very virtuous 77 Gaudy scarf 79 Suffix with peace 82 Prattle 83 “Quit asking about my supply of element #83!”? 88 Stew tidbit 89 Birch, e.g. 90 “Impossible for me” 91 Small sample 94 Twyla of dance 96 Element #30 in a medicine cabinet? 98 “George & --” (old talk show) 101 Special glow 103 “FWIW” part 104 Gets the total 105 Element #18 found in a city opposite Vancouver? 110 Lightish sword 111 Hub city for Israel’s El Al 112 Bad-smelling 113 Narcissist’s quality 117 Biol. or anat. 119 Combo punch 121 Element #29 collected by actress Loni? 124 Ancient Crete native 125 To the point 126 ETs’ ship 127 Gershon of “Face/Off” 128 “-- Wedding” (1990 Alan Alda film) 129 Great Lakes tribespeople 130 Go bad 131 Crumb toters DOWN 1 Invites 2 Russian Revolution theory 3 Things made for sale
4 Small pouch 5 Unendingly 6 Change 7 Very little bit 8 Change 9 Without a -- stand on 10 Good pal 11 “So chic!” 12 Hanging to the calves, as a dress 13 Brits’ trolleys 14 Popular energy drink 15 Altar reply 16 Free-floating 17 Punched out, as jigsaw pieces 18 Pilots 24 CIA’s onetime rival 25 MLB arbiter 30 Rescuee’s cry 33 “Give -- call” 35 Big box 36 The, to Yves 37 Fannie -38 Rows 39 Lands in el oceano 40 Subsided 44 MLB stat 45 Raw rock 46 Toys -- (kids’ chain) 47 Bears, in Spain 49 Suffix with opal 52 Loads 53 Put to shame 54 “I -- run!” 55 First stage 56 Brought (in), as music 57 Voguish thing 58 Rear, at sea 59 Make it to 60 Boggy area 61 Bert’s friend
TINKERING WITH THE ELEMENTS ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.
62 -- Carta 67 Surreptitious 69 Double-reed instrument 70 Bovine critter 72 Aziz of “Master of None” 75 Very little bit 76 Small raisin 78 Actress Kendrick 80 “-- one to complain ...” 81 Accolades 84 Disavow 85 Net automaton 86 I, to Wilhelm 87 Hanks of film 91 Slice-serve motion 92 Not proper 93 Windows 10 runners 94 Blasting inits. 95 To the middle point 96 Drinking spot 97 Microwave 98 Poise 99 Canadian dollar coin 100 Passionate 102 Comedian Gilda 106 Long spans 107 Fliers in V’s 108 Ugly beasts 109 Tel. book collection 110 Angsty rock genre 114 See 123-Down 115 News 116 Kilt sporter 118 Nest egg funds, for short 120 How- -- (DIY books) 122 Soft & -123 With 114-Down, it includes the Brit. Open
LIFESTYLE COLUMN
AERIN IT OUT LOOK, DON’T TOUCH
Reclaiming personal space in public post-pandemic
Pg. 20 JUN 16 - JUN 29, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM
BY AERIN SPRUILL
As Phase 2 faded into Phase 3, I watched from the corners of different drinking holes and observed the ways in which patrons awkwardly stumbled back into the social scene, like newborn baby giraffes walking knees a-trembling. At first, folks were timid and kept a safe distance, but as time has gone on and mask mandates were lifted, the shenanigans have resumed and the shield of six feet from strangers is all but a distant memory. Last week, some friends shared a post through Instagram Stories that inspired this month’s column: In the post, bright neon pink letters in all caps read “DON’T TOUCH ME IN A NIGHT CLUB” illuminated by a neon green square. Immediately, I was pulled in because I knew before even scrolling to the subsequent slides that the topic was related to the culture of unwanted touching in nightlife spaces. Sure enough, it was an announcement post for a podcast called The Shit Show, on which the hosts were going to discuss unsolicited touching in clubbing culture. I took a deep sigh. I’m still unsure if the sigh was one of frustration or one of relief that other people are acknowledging the things I struggled with even prior to COVID-19, and something that drives me absolutely insane post-pandemic. It’s so far beyond my comprehension, this idea of touching someone you don’t know without having asked for permission or even talked to them, and yet it has seemingly become normalized. At first, I thought my deep disdain for the touchyfeely “shit show” I have been regularly witnessing was simply exacerbated by months of not being touched and not having my space encroached upon. The sheer terror of catching and spreading COVID-19 kept us all in check, after all. But then I realized it wasn’t just that. Yes, I was reminded that my space is and always will be my space, but I’m also infuriated that I ever forgot that in the first place. I was sitting at the bar chatting with my friend about the post and when, in a moment of demonic intervention, it happened. A prime example of the person that has no sense of personal space or boundaries splayed out on the bar next to me. His brow moist with sweat, eyes wild, and a grin hellishly spread across his mug, he got comfy
as he leaned his left arm on the bar. I turned to my girlfriend exhausted and said, “Here we go!” Meanwhile, this person alerted me to his presence the moment he entered the bar, his “superb” personality introducing itself to everyone right out of the gate. I observed from a distance while my heart dropped into that pit in my stomach, knowing my intuition for crazy is rarely off. Next, he broke a shot glass while “cheersing” his friend. Then I heard the curious, “Who’s that girl?” comment, followed by, “The one with the glasses,” and my heart sank knowing I was the girl. I diverted my gaze, forcing myself to not look back, but as fate would have it, here he was in front of me in all his entitled glory. Feigning a shy persona, the zombie proceeded to ask if he could buy me and my friend a drink, to which I gently responded, “No thank you.” He continued, stating he was from Charlotte but didn’t live here … and my patience began to reach its limits. Upon repeating his desire to buy us a drink, I reiterated my initial response and then added something about my boyfriend being outside.
And just like that, the switch flipped. He became agitated and, upon returning to his barstool opposite me, began talking loudly about our interaction for everyone to hear. Furious was an understatement. If steam coming from someone’s ears was a thing, this would’ve been the time for it to happen. My girlfriend is well-versed in my pet peeves, so she tried her darndest to turn my attention to more lighthearted topics. It wasn’t working, but I played along. The next thing I know, a disagreement was taking place outside and, of course, said gentleman was at the center of the drama. And yes, I learned later the drama had stemmed from our initial interaction. Before I knew it, he and his friend were being asked to leave and his friend was using his body weight to guide the drunk sir away, only for the culprit to return and begin threatening us from across the street, stating, “Come on over here, I’ve got something for you.” Naturally, that was our queue to exit any which way but across the street. This isn’t a call for sympathy, but let it serve as a public service announcement: Man, woman, drunkard, and everyone in between, respecting people’s space isn’t optional, it’s a requirement. The golden rule is still canon, and no still means no. Before COVID, during COVID, and in perpetuity. Thanks. INFO@QCNERVE.COM
By Lucie Winborne • A green cat was born in Denmark in 1995. Some people believe that high levels of copper in the water pipes nearby may have given his fur a verdigris effect. • Edgar Rice Burroughs, creator of the iconic jungle man Tarzan, worked as a pencil-sharpener salesman before trying his hand at fiction. He only started writing at the age of 36 to support his wife and two kids. • Boanthropy is a psychological disorder in which patients believe they are a cow. • The infamous crocodile jump by James Bond in “Live and Let Die” was performed with real crocs by the only person willing to attempt it — the owner of the crocodile farm. • In early 2015, Mattel released Hello Barbie, an interactive talking doll that didn’t just repeat preprogrammed phrases, but could actually hold a twoway conversation. The doll raised major concerns over privacy, however, since the discussions between it and child owners were recorded and sent to third-party vendors. Goodbye, Barbie! • Like casinos, your local shopping mall is intentionally designed to make you lose track of time, with clocks and windows removed to prevent views of the outside world, in a type of “scripted disorientation” known as the Gruen Transfer. • The original recipe for chocolate contained chili powder instead of sugar. • As if it weren’t cool enough that your DNA encodes the entire blueprint for your body using a set of just four characters (amino acids), you can treat the outside surface of cotton fabric with concentrated genetic material, as the DNA is also flame retardant: Its molecules are similar to those in other fireproofing substances. *** Thought for the Day: “I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.” — Thomas Jefferson © 2021 King Features Synd., Inc.
LIFESTYLE
HOROSCOPE JUNE 16 - JUNE 22
JUNE 23 - JUNE 29 ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Family and friends LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Wearing rally around as you confront an unexpected rose-colored glasses won’t solve a thorny personal challenge. Some plans will have to be changed until situation. You need to take a hard look at what’s all the fuss and fluster settle down. happening and then act according to the facts.
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A slight setback in plans is nothing to worry about. Use this delay to deal with a number of matters you might have ignored for too long. Expect news from someone in your past.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Your creative gifts SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Weigh all find new outlets for expression this week. Someone your options carefully before making any decisions (a Libra, perhaps) has ideas that you might find you’ve been putting off. Then go ahead and plan a LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) An on-the- surprisingly appealing. Pay attention. weekend of family fun. job change works to your benefit by offering new opportunities. It’s up to you to check them out. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You’ll soon be able to SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Meanwhile, a stalled romantic situation starts up restart those delayed travel plans. A financial matter While personal and financial situations continue to again. you thought was closed could suddenly reopen. Be improve, some setbacks might occur. But they’re prepared to take swift, decisive action. only temporary, so hang in there. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) That flareup of Scorpian temperament cools down, leaving CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A romantic CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Family you more receptive to suggestions about changes relationship takes an unexpected turn. You might matters dominate the week. Health problems raise that might need to be made in your personal life. be confused about how to react. It’s best not to be concern, but soon prove to be less serious than you rushed into a decision that you’re not ready to make. had feared. Things start easing up by the weekend. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) An unusual period of indecisiveness is a LEO (July 23 to August 22) Don’t let your pride AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Most mite frustrating. But things soon clear up, stand in the way of resolving an emotionally painful situations are calmer now, both at home and on the allowing the sage Sagittarian to make those wise situation. This is a good time to deal with it and let job. But there’s still a chance that a co-worker will pronouncements again. the healing finally begin. set off another round of unpleasantness.
CANCER
CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) You VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A workplace PISCES (February 19 to March 20) There’s no need
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A heads-up alert to all free-spirited Ewes and Rams: Be wary of a deal that could result in compromising your independence. Check every detail before making a commitment. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) New facts emerge
that help put an irksome workplace situation in perspective. Meanwhile, pay more attention to a family member who needs your wisdom and strength.
(June 21 to July 22) You’re entering a period of stability. Use it to straighten out any outstanding problems related to a very personal situation. Also, pay closer attention to financial matters.
might feel that you know best, but it’s not a good problem that you’ve been handling so well suddenly to fish for compliments from an admirer who can’t idea at this time to try to force your opinions on spins out of control. Don’t panic. You can rely on your say enough nice things about you. The upcoming others. Best advice: Inspire change by example, not good sense to help you restore order. holiday bodes well for family gatherings. by intimidation. BORN THIS WEEK: You love to compete, both on a personal and a sporting level, and you hate to settle for anything less than excellence. LEO (July 23 to August 22) As much as you love AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Some being a social Lion, you might well benefit from setbacks could affect your plans to fortify your staying out of the spotlight for a while. You need financial situation. But things start moving again by time to reflect on some upcoming decisions. early next week. Meanwhile, enjoy your resurgent social life.
Pg. 21 JUN 16 - JUN 29, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM
VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A difficult
family situation improves, thanks to your timely PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Show that intervention. You can now start to focus more of often-hidden steely spine of yours as you once your attention on preparing for a possible career again stand up to an emotional bully. You’ve got the change. strength to do it, especially as friends rally to your side.
BORN THIS WEEK: Your ruling planet, Mercury, endows you with a gift for writing. Have you considered penning the world’s greatest novel?
2020 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.
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LIFESTYLE COLUMN
PG.19 PUZZLE ANSWERS
SAVAGE LOVE THE EURO ZONE Not so full disclosure
Pg. 22 JUN 16 - JUN 29, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM
BY DAN SAVAGE
We’re a happily married couple from Europe, longtime readers, both in our thirties, and both interested in having sex sometimes with other people. Before the pandemic we were invited to a private sex party in a major European capital. It was an age- and face-controlled swingers night with background checks on every participant. It was our first experience and it was eye-opening, wonderful, and very sexy, even though we were too shy to fool around with anyone else. But we promised ourselves we would return and explore further. Then COVID-19 happened and we couldn’t travel. We decided to hook up with other people locally. We had amazing threesomes and foursomes, and it all went ridiculously well, up until the part when we got herpes from another couple. This other couple didn’t know they had it or didn’t bother to disclose. Herpes isn’t as common here as in the US, as far as my research went, and it was a huge bummer, but after educating and medicating ourselves, we decided to continue having hookups with others. We tell everyone in advance because we believe it’s the right thing to do. Some cut us off, some don’t care, some admit they also have it, which always leaves us wondering if they would have admitted it without us “coming clean” first. We are still part of the online community that organized that wonderful party and, with things opening up here, they are beginning to plan the next event. We would love to go back. My question is: Can we? Should we? Should we tell everybody about the herpes? Or is that a risk you take at an orgy involving 50 or more people? We’ve read a lot about transmission and know that sometimes skin-to-skin contact is enough. We also know that it’s possible to have herpes and not be aware of it, which means other participants may already have it and not know. So what’s the right thing to do? Should we just pass up this orgy for the rest of our lives? Take the viral suppressants that weekend and fuck as many people as we can without worrying about it? SINCERELY WONDERING ABOUT POSTPANDEMIC EXPLICIT DISCLOSURES
P.S. I found a piece of advice about this from Betty Dodson, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Hm. I would think an invite-only swingers party with “age- and face-controlled” background checks (meaning: no olds*, no uglies**) would also put a few questions to prospective attendees about sexual health. If the organizers of this party don’t require you to disclose that you have herpes or other sexually-transmitted infections — because they enforce safer-sex protocols that minimize the risk of transmission and/or they quite rightly assume that anyone down to sex with 50 strangers in a single evening either already has herpes or at least willing to chance it — then I don’t think you have to disclose. Don’t confuse “don’t think you have to” with “don’t think you should.” I think you should disclose — I think you should keep disclosing — and if disclosing gets you scratched off the guest list, SWAPPED, you will have other opportunities to fuck other people in other major European capitals. I mean, you’ve been disclosing to couples locally and haven’t exactly wanted for opportunities … even during a pandemic. (People who weren’t worried about catching COVID-19 during the pandemic — which isn’t over yet — probably weren’t too worried about catching herpes.) Yes, some couples ghosted after you disclosed but it sounds like just as many or more weren’t scared off. And the couples who ghosted? Some already have herpes and don’t know it — and HPV as well, SWAPPED, as both of these very common STIs are easily transmitted through skinto-skin contact. Anyone who wants to avoid contracting them shouldn’t have multiple sex partners — or arguably any sex partners at all, considering how common these infections are and, again, how easily transmitted they are. And anyone who attends orgies — anyone who’s sexually active at all — should get regular STI screenings, get treated for treatable STIs, and refrain from having sex (or attending sex parties) when they’re symptomatic or still infectious. (And everyone can and should get the HPV vaccine and people with herpes can take meds that make outbreaks less frequent and less intense and make them less likely to pass herpes on to others.) And while it’s my official position that you should disclose — because, like you, I think disclosing is the right thing to do — my unofficial position is that anyone who has sex with 50 strangers in a European capital, be it major or minor, has volunteered for herpes. P.S. The late, great Betty Dodson was never one for mincing words. Not only did Dodson tell a couple with herpes that they didn’t need to disclose unless asked in the column SWAPPED found, Dodson also shared that she didn’t tell her own partner she had herpes until she had an outbreak 10 years into the relationship. (“Orgy Guilt Because We Didn’t Share We Have Herpes,” Dodsonandross.com, July 7, 2009). “I abhor how our society has turned Herpes into an STD,” Dodson wrote.
TRIVIA ANSWERS: 1. James Madison, War of 1812 2. Agent Dale Cooper 3. Suriname
4. Dark brownish red 5. 1858 -- almost 50 years after canned food was invented 6. Banker
7. Hawaii 8. Ralph Waldo Emerson 9. 1619 10. Sedimentary
“My first genital herpes outbreak was in the seventies. If existent) French. No need to be feel bad about that. you didn’t have Herpes back then, it meant you weren’t Second … if you wanna be feel bad about having sex. It was more like a badge of sexual abundance.” something, DESIRE, feel bad about being a jerk to your girlfriend. In other words: OH MY GOD, DUDE, SHUT THE I’m a 24-year-old heterosexual French man. FUCK UP. Stop running to your girlfriend to “confess” every (Sorry for my English.) I really love my girlfriend. time you have an impure thought about another woman. Our relationship is deep, we listen and understand Constantly and needlessly reminding your girlfriend you to other, and we take care of the other. The sex is would like to fuck other women is just cruel. She knows great, truly great. We try many different things that, DESIRE, so you don’t need to tell her. You’re not and we try to fulfil our common desires and the being honest, you’re not being transparent, you’re being desires of the other. Long story short: Everything an asshole. This is a relationship, DESIRE, not a meeting with her and our relationship is perfect. The only of Reluctant Monogamists Anonymous. (“Hi, my name is thing is that she wants our relationship to be ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND and I’ve been monogamous for four monogamous and I would like to have sex with years and each day is a struggle.”) If you don’t wanna be 75% of the girls I bump into. Normally this is not in a monogamous relationship with this woman, DESIRE, a big deal because I’m not particularly attractive, if monogamy isn’t the price of admission you’re willing to so there are not many girls that want to have sex pay, end this relationship. But if it is a price you’re willing with me. But during the four years we have been to pay, DESIRE, then pay it and SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT together I had some opportunities to which I had IT. If you can’t shut the fuck up about it — if you can’t to say no. Once I kissed another girl and the day keep these thoughts to yourself and/or find someone after I confessed this to my girlfriend. Now every else to confide in about them (a friend? a bartender? a time I find myself attracted to someone else I pompier?) — your girlfriend is going to realize she’s immediately tell my girlfriend. She doesn’t blame paying way too steep a price and dump your ass. me for finding other women attractive or even when I confess to flirting with another woman but *Age is just a number, of course, but people, alone I know she doesn’t feel good about it. If I have to or in groups, are allowed to seek sex partners in their choose I will always choose her but I love to flirt. own and/or their preferred age range — and I say that I would also love to see how is sex with someone as someone who would most likely be excluded from this else, as I have never had sex with anyone else. But particular sex party based on my age. at the same time I don’t want to hurt her and I feel **A person doesn’t have to be conventionally childish for not being able to control my instincts. attractive to attract sex partners — and a person can be How do people get out of these sorts of situations? conventionally attractive in every sense and repel more DILIGENTLY ESCAPING SEXUAL INTERCOURSES, people than they attract. RELENTLESSLY EXCITED
Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage; mail@ First … your English is way better than my (non- savagelove.net; savagelovecast.com
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