VOLUME 3, ISSUE 18; JULY 28 - AUGUST 10, 2021; WWW.QCNERVE.COM
IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD Neighbors still in the dark about N.C.’s largest gas spill one year after discovery By Ryan Pitkin
MUSIC: Ray Singleton’s got talent pg. 10 FOOD: Liana Sinclair visits 300 East pg. 14
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
NEWS& OPINION PUBLISHER
JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS jl afra n co i s @ q cn er ve.com
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF RYAN PITKIN rpi tk i n @ q cn e r ve. c om
ART DIRECTOR
JAYME JOHNSON jjo h n s o n @ q cn e r ve.com
DIGITAL EDITOR
KARIE SIMMONS ks i m mo n s @ q cn er ve.com
STAFF WRITER
PAT MORAN pm o ra n @ q cn er ve . com
AD SALES EXECUTIVE RENN WILSON r wi l s o n @ q cn e r ve . com
6 LIFELINE: A DOSE OF REALITY 8 OPENING A NEW SET OF DOORS BY MATT COSPER
ARTS& CULTURE 10 MUSIC 12 14 FOOD& DRINK LIFESTYLE
Open Door Studios makes a new home inside Eastway Crossing
THE POWER OF POSITIVITY BY PAT MORAN Ray Singleton’s got talent and love to spread SOUNDWAVE
DISHING IT OUT BY TIMOTHY DEPEUGH Supperland pastry chef Liana Sinclair visits 300 East
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4 IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD BY RYAN PITKIN Neighbors still in the dark about N.C.’s largest gas spill one year after discovery
16 PUZZLES 18 THE SEEKER BY KATIE GRANT 20 HOROSCOPE 21 STRANGE FACTS 22 SAVAGE LOVE
IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD Neighbors still in the dark about N.C.’s largest gas spill one year after discovery By Ryan Pitkin
MUSIC: Ray Singleton’s got talent pg. 10 FOOD: Liana Sinclair visits 300 East pg. 14
COVER DESIGN BY: JAYME JOHNSON @QUEENCIT Y N E RVE W W W.QCNERVE .C OM
THANKS TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS: PAT MORAN, MATT COSPER, TIMOTHY DEPEUGH, GRANT BALDWIN, KENTY CHUNG, KATIE GRANT, AND DAN SAVAGE. .
NEWS & OPINION FEATURE
IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD
year since she began to learn about the massive spill happening so close to her home that she felt any optimism. “This is the first hope I’ve had,” she said. “I’m tentatively hopeful. I think the work is going into getting eyes here, but I don’t know if they can make it happen.”
Neighbors still in the dark about N.C.’s largest gas spill The largest spill in North Carolina one year after its discovery history
The Colonial Pipeline spill was first discovered by two teenagers riding four-wheelers through the Shannon Ward grew up attending protests and Oehler Nature Preserve on Aug. 14, 2020. Ward said rallies for any number of causes, beginning in the she knew something big had happened right away, 1960s, but the gathering she attended at Veterans Park in Huntersville on Sunday, July 25, was different. Ward lives just hundreds of feet from the Oehler Nature Preserve, the site of last year’s Colonial Pipeline gas spill, the largest such spill in North Carolina history and the largest in the United States in 20 years, and is fearful for what it means for the well on her property. Standing on the steps of the Icehouse Stage at Veterans Park, Ward could only get about a sentence into her statement before she choked up, then continued to address the crowd of around 70 environmental activists and advocates gathered in front of her. “I’m going to cry,” she said. “I’m so inspired that you all showed up for me.” The rally was organized PROTESTERS MARCH TOWARD THOM TILLIS’ HUNTERSVILLE HOME ON JULY 25. by the Charlotte, Mooresville and Asheville hubs of the Sunrise Movement, as firefighters and other authorities closed the road an environmental activist coalition focused on outside of her home to public traffic. Shortly after the spill was discovered, a Colonial elevating the urgency of climate change solutions. Rally organizers decried the lack of attention that’s Pipeline spokesperson reported that 63,000 gallons been given to the Colonial Pipeline spill since its of gas had spilled, but that most of it had been recovered. discovery in August 2020. Five months later, in January 2021, the company They called on officials to hold Colonial Pipeline accountable for the massive amounts of gas spilled acknowledged that 1.2 million gallons had actually in the nature preserve, to stop supporting further leaked from a five-foot pipe that had ruptured, pipeline infrastructure, and to support the passage making it the largest spill in the United States since at least 2000. of Joe Biden’s Civilian Climate Corps Act. Ward wasn’t told the details about what Speaking with Queen City Nerve during Sunday’s happened until two days after the spill was teach-in, Ward said that day was the first time in the
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BY RYAN PITKIN
discovered, and officials with Colonial began testing her well weekly from then on out. Colonial says they have installed 177 wells at the spill site — 108 to monitor water quality and 69 to recover spilled gasoline — while also taking weekly water samples from nearby wells like Ward’s. The corporation has reported that no “petroleum constituents” have been found in Wards’ well or others on surrounding properties, but Ward said she hasn’t heard much from the company beyond that. “They had a schmoozer guy who came out and pretended to answer questions for a while, and you’d ask him questions and he’d say, ‘Oh that’s a great question, I’ll have to check on that,’ and you’d never hear back,” she recalled. “But as soon as we got
and they say it and that’s the end of it.” For Huntersville Town Commissioner Stacy Phillips, those meetings have been a low point in her nearly two-year tenure. “It is probably the most furious I’ve been since being elected,” Phillips said of the February town board meeting at which Colonial Pipeline representatives made their presentation. “They couldn’t actually answer any of our questions. It was just canned speech from a Powerpoint, and if our questions diverted off of it, they literally couldn’t answer anything. That has been status quo with them ever since.” When approached by elected leaders, residents or journalists, Colonial Pipeline representatives point them all to the company website (sr2448.colonialresponse.com), where monthly reports are issued. While the monthly updates include how many barrels of gas have been recovered from the site, they are relatively basic and do not include detailed testing results. The company does regularly release detailed reports, but they are not made for nonexperts like Ward to understand. “You can find an almost 2,000 page document released every month,” she said of her online research. “The first one was 900 pages and this month was 1,872 and you have to wade through that, and you have to be a scientist to know what you’re reading. So there is no transparency; they’re not putting it in words that a PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN layperson can understand.” Phillips, who has worked in a lawyer, they quit talking to us.” environmental health and safety compliance for a They did talk to some of Ward’s neighbors, corporate real estate firm, agreed that information however, as property records show Colonial Pipeline is not being shared in an acceptable way. has bought three properties from landowners across “I feel like I’m a pretty intelligent person in some Huntersville-Concord Road from the preserve, near aspects, so when I can sit and read these 100-page where Ward lives. emails and I don’t understand what’s going on, it She isn’t asking them to buy her home, ticks me off because the general public doesn’t have however, only for clear communication about what the time to sit and read that mess,” she said. is happening across the street. Phillips recently invited Colonial Pipeline “They came to Huntersville to talk at a town representatives to attend a town board meeting in meeting recently … but when they come here they August to update residents and representatives on just kind of give their party line; they have a speech their recovery efforts one year after the spill was
NEWS & OPINION FEATURE discovered, but Colonial declined, stating that anything anyone needed to know is on their website. Phillips posted the rejection letter to her Twitter feed. “I feel like the public needed to know we’re really trying to do right by you guys, to do right by all of us, and they’re just so casual about the whole thing, it’s trippy,” she said.
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Taking a stand with a sit-in
Colonial Pipeline were offering. such as, “They try to stop us, but we keep coming realizes that he cannot compromise on that.” She mentioned how she had seen the activist back,” and giving speeches decrying Tillis’ support For Phillips, the protest was only a missed for more pipeline infrastructure. opportunity, as it shed more light on Sunrise sphere change since her first time attending rallies in the 1960s. “There was a move toward, ‘Let’s all sit at the table together,’ and the patriarchy kind of invited us to have a junior seat,” she told the crowd, “and I love that y’all have recognized that for what it is. It’s not the same thing, and we don’t want that place at their table, we want a different table where everybody’s treated fairly and people’s needs are met.” Ward later told Queen City Nerve she is waiting to see how the spill will affect her family’s plans near the site. Her mother and siblings were under contract with developers on an agreement for a 36-acre site near the site that has since fallen through, and though they won’t say it, she’s sure it’s because of complications from the gas spill. “We’re still hoping the developer will agree to take it off their hands,” Ward said. “I never thought I’d wish for that!”
Hannah Stephens, a 24-year-old organizer with the Charlotte hub of the Sunrise Movement, PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN SHANNON WARD ADDRESSES MEMBERS OF THE SUNRISE MOVEMENT AT THEIR HUNTERSVILLE RALLY. got involved in the activist organization Three activists staged a sit-in outside of Tillis’ Movement than the actions of Colonial Pipeline and during the COVID-19 quarantines of 2020. home, first in his lawn and then his driveway, and the consequences that residents near the site of the “So much was brought to light during the pandemic and I felt that it was time for me to stop stayed there overnight before eventually being cited spill are facing. Speaking the day after the protest, and just sitting on the sidelines,” she told Queen City Nerve at for trespassing as they left on the morning of July hours after activists finally left Tillis’ driveway, 26. Sunday’s Veterans Park rally. Phillips said she was “furious” watching the protest Speaking before the action, Stephens told Since joining up with the group, Stephens said she and others in the Charlotte hub have put Queen City Nerve the Sunrise Movement hopes to play out on social media. As a progressive in a relatively rural suburb of “basically all of our resources” into raising awareness put pressure on national lawmakers to pass Biden’s Charlotte, she knew how the protesters marching Civilian Climate Corps Act (CCCA), which aims to around the Colonial Pipeline spill. “It is frustrating,” Stephens said of the apathy create opportunities for flexible, locally driven through the neighborhoods would look in the minds responses to meet employment, environmental, of her neighbors. she’s seen in response to the spill. “They’ve taken something that’s so detrimental “I think people feel that, ‘It’s down the road and and recovery needs in light of the climate crisis at to my community and turned it into a circus and a PR they’re cleaning it up so it’s no big deal and what can the state and local levels. stunt for themselves, and today people aren’t talking The CCCA is part of Biden’s massive infrastructure I even do about it?’ which makes a lot of sense, and about Colonial, they’re talking about them,” Phillips package, which he has been negotiating with that’s part of the reason why we’re here is you can Republicans for months now. said on Monday. “I have not had a single person say do something about it. You can come out and hold Stephens said the protest was bigger than Tillis. a word about Colonial today. I’ve heard Thom Tillis, them accountable, because our biggest fear is that “We really doubt that Tillis will make changes protesters, tents, trespassing, but nothing about Colonial Pipeline moves on and doesn’t continue to but we hope that this pressures other Republicans Colonial ... It stole the spotlight and the attention track this issue, and an even bigger fear is that we and other senators to realize that a compromised from people like Shannon who are going to be stuck keep building pipelines.” Following the teach-in at Veterans Park that infrastructure plan is not going to work for our with this for the rest of their lives. That upsets me.” Addressing the young protesters who showed Sunday, protesters disbanded only to gather again future,” Stephens said. “It’s only going to set us back because this is a up at Veterans Park that Sunday afternoon, Ward at nearby North Point Drive in Huntersville in an once-in-a-lifetime chance to make a change, and told them from her spot on the Icehouse Stage attempt to do just that. ultimately we do hope that President Biden hears steps that she appreciated their refusal to settle for The group of protesters stood outside of U.S. the voices of this community, of this generation, and the spin that elected officials and corporations like Sen. Thom Tillis’ house chanting Sunrise slogans
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ONGOING
AUGUST RESIDENCY: NO FUTURE
Before he started sporting a MAGA hat and supporting Trump, John Lydon (AKA Johnny Rotten), sang about “No Future” and sounded like he meant it. Obviously, it’s time for a loud, fast and often diverse music genre based on hope, defiance and anger to reclaim its punk clarion call. Snug’s August residency presents a series of free punk shows that embrace a liberal and open idea of what punk is. The Aug. 4 opening show features Telepathics, Adam Cope, Distemper, and DJs Fat Keith Richards and Robert Childers. More: Free; Aug. 4-25, 10 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com
WHERE DO WE STAND NOW? Photo by Lorie Shaull
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BOOM, the annual three-day festival of art and performances, first detonated in 2016 and went virtual last year — but that isn’t all the fest did in 2020. Last summer, when protests followed the murder of George Floyd, BOOM Charlotte partnered with BLKMRKTCLT, Charlotte is Creative and The Roll Up CLT to create the arts showcase ACT:NOW, which returns this year. Hosted by Boris “Bluz” Rogers, the event features musicians, artists and dancers such as Ife Michelle; Philip Cherry, Ali Steele, Quentin Talley and Wonderworld and so much more. More: Free; July 28, 7 p.m.; online.; boomcharlotte.org
WILMA Photo by Nick King
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drummer DJ Buchanan’s hi-hat hisses, bassist Viky Leone’s labyrinthine lines that bubble like a witch’s cauldron and Matthew Leone’s whiplash guitar riffs that swoop and circle like carrion-seeking birds. The hard-rock combo, which takes its name from a Helmet song and not the Flintstones character, balances moments of serene beauty with heatseeking missile attacks that ratchet up the tension. Charlotte’s Sunday Boxing, Belmont’s Ink Swell and New York’s Added Color fill out the bill. More: $8; July 29, 8 p.m.; The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road; themilestone.club
A recent spin through our Twitter feed found people still debating whether P. Diddy should still be paying Sting $730,000 a year for using an uncleared sample of the creepy Police hit “Every Breath You Take.” Jazz N Soul Music and Radio Rehab skip that debate but embrace the sample when they present Quentin Talley and The Soul Providers and The Mighty DJ DR essaying a musical mash-up of hip-hop and R&B featuring versions of the old-school hits that inspired hip-hop legends. More: $30 and up; July 31, 6:30 & 9 p.m.; Stage Door Theater, 155 N College St.; blumenthalarts.org
The era of grunge and Ren and Stimpy is back! Special Ed, who scored the hits “I Got It Made,”“Think About It” and “I’m the Magnificent,” all off his 1989 debut album Youngest in Charge, headlines this oldschool rap show. The ’90s-centric roster includes Chubb Rock, who released an unbroken string of commercially successful albums in the early part of the decade, British female rap artist and two-time Grammy nominee Monie Love and Positive K, who scored a 1992 hit with “I Got a Man.” More: $32 and up; July 31, 9 p.m.; Underground, 820 Hamilton St.; fillmorenc.com
WILMA, SUNDAY BOXING, INK SWELL MUSICOLOGY: THE ART OF THE Back in March, we raved about Wilma, praising SAMPLE
SPECIAL ED, CHUBB ROCK, MONIE LOVE, POSITIVE K
QUENTIN TALLEY AND THE SOUL PROVIDERS (MUSICOLOGY: THE ART OF THE SAMPLE) Photo courtesy of QTSP
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Led by Body Party founder Maxie Williams, Body Party Fitness is a fun and dynamic dance class incorporating cardio moves that promise to usher participants into “an electrifying, high-energy dance fitness experience that you will never forget!” Participants will dance to classic and contemporary hip-hop and R&B music designed to raise the heart rate and make the body break a sweat. Class members are advised to arrive at the Gantt Center five to 10 minutes early to get the full experience and to bring water to stay hydrated. More: $5; Aug. 5, 6 p.m.; Harvey B. Gantt Center, 551 South Tryon St.; ganttcenter.org
After singing for and writing songs with Steely Dan, Carole King and others in the early 1970s, David Palmer discovered a passion for digital photography. He has spent the last 10 years shooting and retouching and, in general, learning the craft. Over time he has developed a style he calls Romantic Realism. His photographic series Habitat features the intriguing work of L.A. makeup artist April Metcalf. Writer and artist Peter Sacks calls Palmer’s photographs “a kind of photographic equivalent of magical realism.” More: $35; Aug. 6, 7-10 p.m.; Gallery C3 at Alchemy at C3 Lab, 2517 Distribution St.; c3-lab.com/events
Petra’s in Plaza Midwood has always been one of our favorite spots, a music venue that feels like your living room where you can catch up with friends while listening to free jazz from beyond the galaxy or see mind-blowing art shows. Petra’s finally reopens on Aug. 1 and will ring in their first Friday in a big way: a show featuring work from 26 artists as well as music by Petrov, Alan Charmer, Quad and DJ Saudade. More: $7-$10; Aug. 6, 8 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com
Founded in 2013 by R&B artist Arsena Schroeder, The Unplugged+Live Series is a touring concert series in support of independent singer-songwriters like herself. Schroeder’s Dear Soul Music Co. brings the jamboree to Huntersville with Charlotte folkster Nathan Story, a consummate craftsman who puts lush emotion into each note on his guitar. Local vocal dynamo Mercury Carter, a soul singer who boasts an incredible multi-octave range, will also perform. More: Free; Aug. 7, 5 p.m.; Veterans Park, 201 Huntersville-Concord Road, Huntersville; dearsoulmusic.co
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NOW TIMES: A WELCOME BACK GALLERY SHOW
YOU KNOW HIS NAME (JOEDANCE FILM FESTIVAL) Photo courtesy of JFF
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JOEDANCE FILM FESTIVAL
The Joedance Film Festival takes its name from founder and director Diane Restaino’s son, Joe, who passed away over a decade ago after battling cancer. Diane held the first Joedance Film Festival in 2010, screening two Sundance films at her Uptown Charlotte townhome and raising $950. Now for the second consecutive year, Joedance presents a virtual festival, featuring 25 films created by filmmakers with a connection to North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, and Tennessee. Joedance will also highlight student films on Saturday, Aug. 7. Proceeds benefit rare pediatric cancer research at Atrium Health Levine Children’s Hospital. More: $30 and up; Aug. 5-7; online.; joedance.org/festivalhome
HABITAT (ALLEGORICAL OPENING RECEPTION) Photo by David Palmer
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ARTS FEATURE
OPENING A NEW SET OF DOORS Open Door Studios makes a new home inside Eastway Crossing
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BY MATT COSPER
Upon moving to Charlotte in 1997, Jacqueline White arrived at NC Dance Theatre excited by the prospect of a growing city with a vibrant dance community. What she found left a lot to be desired. NC Dance Theatre, later christened Charlotte Ballet, put on plenty of dance performances, but White found little in the way of training — specially, dedicated training for unaffiliated adult dancers. Dance is an infamously punishing discipline physically, and if a performer hopes for any kind of longevity they need to train consistently. Additionally, the culture of classes in the dance world is central to how community is built and how networking occurs. There were plenty of training classes available for children at Charlotte-area studios, but opportunities for professional (and personal) development seemed cut off at the roots. White was hungry to keep training, so in 2004 she and a friend rented space at Spirit Square in Uptown and hired dancers to teach them, sowing the seeds that would eventually grow into Open Door Studios. Like the city itself, Charlotte’s performing art scene has morphed and changed over the years since Open Door Studios came to be, seeing various and sundry committees and task forces scratch their heads about how to put one foot in front of the other. In that time, Open Door has been a resilient, resourceful and consistent presence in Plaza Midwood, a space for dancers and theatre artists to train while making and sharing small-scale work. Open Door has become a household name for local performers while building up a roster of beloved and accomplished teachers offering classes for students of all
that excellence and access are not mutually exclusive As much as any others, the performing arts field is at the core of Open Door’s existence. has been decimated. According to new statewide labor market data, as of June, the arts, entertainment and recreation Finding a new home From any angle, COVID-19 has been a disaster. industries in North Carolina had lost the greatest Alongside lives lost, communities have fractured percentage of their employees of any industries in around differing views of what the crisis even is, the state, with the loss of 10,500 jobs that hadn’t yet while local economies and independent businesses been recovered making up 13.6% of employees in those fields statewide. have been sucker punched. Technologies like Zoom are a BandAid, but it’s hard to maintain morale — or the bottom line — when your livelihood depends on people being in rooms together. So while COVID was great for Amazon and Netflix, it put a lot of performance companies and venues in danger of permanent shutdown. In the midst of the COVID lockdowns, real-estate redevelopment pushed Open Door out of the space they’d called home for the last decade. White joked that in 2020 Open Door Studios briefly became “Outdoor Studios.” She expressed gratitude that things have worked out, stating, “We were all forced to adapt and that was a great lesson.” Eastway Crossing has become a magnet for Charlotte’s indie institutions displaced by rapid growth. After losing their longtime home in Plaza Midwood in 2020, Open Door Studios joined Tommy’s Pub, Visart Video and Armada Skateshop, among other businesses like the locally owned Dairy Queen franchise that relocated from its popular location in the heart of Plaza Midwood to the unassuming shopping center at the corner of Eastway Drive and Central Avenue. This piece of real estate might be the perfect example of what makes Charlotte’s east side so special. There is an impressive, and seemingly organic, diversity to the people who work and play there. There are long-time mainstays like El Potrero Western Wear, Portofino’s Italian Restaurant & Pizzeria and the Atlantic Farmer’s Market sharing space with newer arrivals like Bart’s Mart, The Skrimp Shack and Royal African Cuisine. Local music legends Gina Stewart and Brenda Gambill operate the vegan cafe and coffee shop EastSide Local out of a small courtyard MEGAN PAYNE (LEFT) AND JOY DAVIS PERFORM IN ‘PLOW.’ space next to Visart. It’s kind of surreal to PHOTO COURTESY OF OPEN DOOR STUDIOS experience: a cool strip mall.
ages and experience levels. “Connecting young dancers to different techniques is really important, and not just ballet, modern, jazz and tap … to give students a deeper understanding,”White told Queen City Nerve. “That’s where we start.” White is careful to articulate that Open Door’s philosophy of “Dance is for everyone” is not about a lack of rigor but rather the opposite. This insistence
ARTS FEATURE While leaving their longtime home might have been painful, Open Door Studios has stumbled into a spot in what has arguably become the hippest corner of the city. The move to Eastway Crossing has allowed White and her crew to upgrade their space. The new and improved Open Door Studios includes a 3,000-square-foot black-box theater equipped with light and sound capabilities. The space is divided into smaller studios for classes.
Getting to work
It’s worth noting that while Charlotte’s urban core has a bevy of institutionally programmed performance spaces, small independent theatres outside of the I-277 loop are rare. The addition of this theater to the local arts ecosystem is a big deal. Small spaces like this are vital to a grassroots performing arts community. It isn’t just the space that has expanded. Changes to Open Door’s programming are on the docket as well. Classes and workshops will continue as per usual, including a new class focusing on increased
accessibility to dance and creative movement for all bodies called Step Together. In addition, the months ahead will include performances and programs from Open Door’s two companies-in-residence: Movement Migration and Baran Dance. Perhaps the most exciting new development for Open Door is the Choreographic Residency program. This residency provides studio space and time, as well as a small stipend and marketing support for choreographers to develop new work. White sees the Choreographic Residency as an opportunity for networking and experimentation for choreographers and dancers, as well as a chance to “invite audiences in to see a work in progress and say, ‘Here’s your chance to ask questions,’ to ask what is this about? What technique is this? What spurred this?” She also sees the program as a relatively lowrisk arena for choreographers to experiment and develop work that may still be in its nascent phase, all of which serve the larger goal of Open Door: to cultivate a community around the idea that everyone should have access to excellent dance.
PLOW, on July 25. Since completing a Goodyear Arts Residency in 2015, Payne is a fixture in the local dance community, consistently crafting performances that see lush sensuality clash with an equally insistent and critical intelligence. The tension this creates has developed into a mature style that can stand with any of the best choreographers in the southeast. Payne took advantage of the hothouse atmosphere of the short Open Door residency to, appropriately, develop a work about place and its effect on our lives. “Having the space at Open Door to make a new work is pretty rare, especially in Charlotte,” Payne told Queen City Nerve. “There are so many talented artists in the city with not a lot of opportunities to perform or present. Jacque White is helping create space for that.” Equally appropriate, given Open Door’s focus on networking and cross-pollination, Payne used this residency to welcome a relative newcomer to Charlotte. Based most recently in Boston, Joy Davis is an accomplished performer by any metric. Since 2015, Exploring place in a new space Megan Payne is the most recent artist to move Davis has been creating work as part of The Davis through the program, sharing her original work Sisters, a collaboration with Alex Davis that skips
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Never miss the catch again. Ride CATS and get back in the game. R i d e t r a n s i t . o r g / C AT S C o n fi d e n c e
madly and merrily along the razor’s edge between dance, comedy, performance art and media critique. Commenting on her collaboration with Davis, Payne noted, “PLOW is more of an installation performance with many moving parts that at times feels theatrical, which for me is new, so Joy’s been a great mentor to have in exploring this new ground.” Collaborations like these are unlikely but fruitful, similar to the strange brew of different communities coming together at Eastway Crossing. They are what make Charlotte so much more than the prefab monoculture nightmare that some seem intent on inflicting on us. But is there a way to intentionally let growth be organic? Perhaps it is Jacqueline White’s background in landscape design, which she studied at North Carolina State University before coming to Charlotte in ’90s, that nurtured her gift for the long view: the ability to plant seeds, exercise patience and allow nature to take its course. A commitment to custodianship and organic growth are rare these days, but might just be the secret to a city with soul. INFO@QCNERVE.COM
MUSIC FEATURE
THE POWER OF POSITIVITY
resounding “Yes,” with plenty of praise to go with their decision. When Singleton says he was prepared for the AGT performance, he isn’t just talking about rehearsing his number before going in front of the judges and
Singleton claims he sang before he could talk. His mother and two of his aunts launched a successful gospel ensemble The Lucas Sisters — Trudy Grant, the Rev. Rossilind Daniels and Mary Greer — in Singleton’s hometown of Charleston, SC. When
Ray Singleton’s got talent and love to spread
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BY PAT MORAN
On the Tuesday, July 13, episode of America’s Got Talent, Ray Singleton took the stage, or so he’s told. The 31-year-old Charlotte singer and minister of music at First Calvary Baptist Church in Rock Hill, SC, sat down at his keyboard and eyed the four judges facing him — Simon Cowell, Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel, and Sofia Vergara. Singleton’s wife Roslyn, a brain cancer survivor, was watching from the wings. “Simon said, ‘Are you ready, Ray?’” Singleton remembers. “I heard myself say, ‘I am prepared.’” He looked to his wife, saw that tears were already streaming down her face, and began to play and sing in a lilting soulful croon. “It was the most beautiful moment ever,” Singleton recalls, but he doesn’t remember much other than that. The moment had its beginnings in an online video Singleton shot of himself serenading Roslyn with Daniel Caesar’s song “Get You” as she was preparing for surgery to remove a cancerous mass the size of a silver dollar from her brain in January 2020. The heartfelt and intimate video unexpectedly blew up on social media and set off a chain of events that culminated with Singleton on stage facing television cameras and a quartet of judges. By the time week seven of AGT aired, avid viewers of the show knew Singleton had to pass the televised audition to proceed to the next round of the competition, which will be aired in a series of live episodes following the broadcast of the Tokyo Olympics. The show’s fans also knew Singleton had no chance of receiving a Golden Buzzer, which would have allowed him to proceed to the live shows. According to the program’s rules, each judge only has one Golden Buzzer, and all the buzzers had been used up by then. With that in mind, Singleton’s only chance was to win over at least three of the judges with his performance of Andy Grammer’s “I Am Yours” to stay in the game. When he finished singing, each panel member down the line awarded Singleton a
RAY SINGLETON APPEARS ON AMERICA’S GOT TALENT IN JULY PHOTO COURTESY OF NBC
the cameras. He alludes to a mental, emotional and spiritual element imbuing the process. In a way, Singleton’s life has been preparation for that beatific moment.
the sisters rehearsed at Singleton’s grandmother’s house, he would sit beside whomever was playing the piano, look at what they did, and commit it to memory. By the age of 15 he had taught himself to play the instrument. Music from the very beginning “I listen to a song for five to 10 minutes; I have “I believe I was drawn to music in the womb,” it,” Singleton says. “It’s a God-given gift.” Singleton chuckles. “It’s absolutely part of my DNA.”
After joining the school drama club in his sophomore year at West Ashley High in Charleston, Singleton sang a Ray Charles song for the club and received his first standing ovation. An electric feeling shot through his body, and he knew then that he would be making music for the rest of his life. While still in high school, he also joined a band and played gigs around Charleston. The group played for $25 and a meal, Singleton recalls. When it came time to go to college, Singleton didn’t hesitate to pick Winthrop University in Rock Hill. His choice, he admits, was initially due to some unorthodox research he undertook. “I saw that the girl to guy ratio was seven to one, and I said, ‘Yeah, that’s where I’m going,’’’ Singleton says, laughing. It was the only college application he filled out. Once on campus, he immediately fell in love with Winthrop. In order to major in music, however, Singleton had to be able to read music. For a musician who learned by ear and memory, learning to read music was a frustrating and ultimately futile process. “I would fall into old habits [saying], ‘I can listen to this thing and play it better than if I read it,” Singleton offers. So instead, he went with his second love, earning a bachelor’s degree in Theatre. He continued to make music in college, however, performing at open mics put on by the school, eventually hosting the events. It was through those open mics that he recruited fellow music-minded students to form his band The Edge, which became the university’s unofficial house band. The Edge played all the school’s open mics, talent shows and homecoming shows. “I’ve been viral before viral,” Singleton says. Singleton remained at Winthrop to earn a master’s degree in counselor education. Through connections with his fraternity brothers at Omega Psi Phi fraternity, Singleton lined-up a campus job overseeing sorority and fraternity activities, which helped pay for his degree. After graduation, Singleton settled in Rock Hill, where he became the minister of music at First Calvary Baptist Church, a few blocks down the street from where he lived. The job interview was informal, Singleton remembers. He attended the church during a testimonial service, during which he sang a song. A subsequent chat with the pastor sealed the deal. As of now, Singleton has been with the church 11 years and counting.
MUSIC FEATURE
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From stupid sunglasses to lifesaving surgery
On Nov. 5, 2016, Singleton’s life changed forever. That night, his friends dragged him to a party he did not want to attend. “I had on sunglasses inside the building, because I’m the coolest guy on the planet,” Singleton says. As he was descending the escalator, a woman’s voice rang out: “Where are you going with those stupid sunglasses?” Those are the first words Singleton heard his wife say. Singleton ditched the sunglasses and tried to dance with Roslyn, but she declined, saying she didn’t dance with strangers. Later, as Singleton was getting ready to leave the party, he felt a tap on his shoulder. As he turned around, Roslyn held up her phone and told him to put his number into it since she was also getting ready to leave. Singleton happily complied. Later that same evening, Singleton and his friends saw Roslyn and her friends at an after-hours eatery. It turned out that Roslyn’s friends had also cajoled her to come to the party. Singleton went over to their table and introduced himself to her friends, then asked if he could say grace for their food. That, he later learned, sealed the deal with his wife-to-be. The next day, on the couple’s very first date, Singleton learned about Roslyn’s battle with brain cancer. “We were sitting down, and the vibe from the jump [was] like we had known each other for so long,” he says. Roslyn told him that she was from a small town in South Carolina called Elgin, and that she was a Navy veteran. She also informed him that she had a cancerous mass the size of an orange removed from her brain in 2013, and that she had been undergoing annual brain scans ever since. Singleton says he always commends his wife for the matter-of-fact, unemotional way she delivers devastating news. “The way that she delivered it to me, it was like she had a wisdom tooth pulled,” he says. On Nov. 4, 2018, the couple, by then living in Charlotte, was married in Charleston in an outdoor ceremony officiated by Singleton’s Rock Hill pastor. Minutes before Roslyn walked down the aisle, the sky opened up and rain poured down. “It was chaos, but it ended up being beautiful,” Singleton says.
Roslyn continued her yearly scans, each time getting an all clear message from her doctors until in October 2019, Singleton got a call at the automobile dealership where he was working. It was from his wife. The doctors had seen something on the scan they didn’t like and they wanted Roslyn to come in for tests. Singleton accompanied his wife to every medical appointment and test, and he brought something only he could bring to the arduous process; he sang to Roslyn constantly and recorded everything that happened. “I’ve always been making videos for my wife,” Singleton says, proudly. “I’m the document king.” To that end, he had put together videos of the couple’s wedding, anniversary and any other events that seemed notable. After the couple got the news that a second round of brain surgery seemed imminent, Singleton started documenting the process with video. “I wanted to put together something to show the strength of this woman.” At the same time, he was constantly showing his devotion to Roslyn by singing to her every chance he got. It was only natural that, shortly before Roslyn went under the knife for a second time on Jan. 7, 2020, Singleton sat down at the piano and poured out his thoughts and feelings for the woman he loves into his rendition of Caesar’s song “Get You.” “I just wanted to make my wife smile,” Singleton says. “I didn’t think it was going to be for the world. I put it on social media and it absolutely took off.” Roslyn was in surgery for eight hours, but two days later she was up and walking. “The doctors came in and said she’s a miracle,” Singleton marvels. “She was sitting up, talking trash and laughing with the nurses. This girl is a warrior!” While Roslyn rapidly recuperated, the video of Singleton’s serenade spread faster than any cancer could. Views of the video on Instagram surpassed 17 million by the end of January 2020.
A shutdown and renewal
The video’s popularity snowballed. It was posted on social media platform The Shade Room. After that boost, Singleton and his wife went on Ellen DeGeneres’ variety-talk show Ellen, then a producer for AGT reached out to Singleton and asked if he was interested in appearing on the show. Singleton replied, “Let’s go,” but on March 16, 2020, the day before he was supposed to try out for AGT, Singleton got a call from the producer saying they were pressing pause on the process. The world was shutting down due to COVID. Grammy-winning artist Daniel Caesar had also seen the video of Singleton singing his song
on social media. Caesar’s manager reached out to Singleton and invited him to Coachella last year, but the Indio, California, music festival was also canceled due to COVID. Eventually, the world began to slowly reawaken. Singleton sang the national anthem for the Carolina Panthers for an Oct. 13 game against the Arizona Cardinals. Then, in January 2021, the AGT producer who had reached out to Singleton the first time sent an email asking if the singer was still interested in auditioning on the show. “I said, ‘Absolutely. Hell yeah.’” The teary-eyed look of love that Singleton received from his wife as he prepared to sing for her on AGT, is etched in his memory, but besides that and his brief exchange with Cowell, he barely remembers the rest of the audition that aired July 13. It was shot in March and contestants were sequestered from one another as a safety precaution due to COVID. “I maybe saw one [other] act while I was there,” says Singleton. He says he didn’t even know that his episode was going to air until he was notified by show staff the previous Friday. “So, we’re on edge at all times about what’s going to happen next,” he says. He certainly has no idea how he will fare in the competitive live shows
that start broadcasting on NBC after the Olympics. While Singleton would surely like to win the competition, which would come with a $1 million prize, he feels he’s already garnered his greatest reward with his wife’s clean bill of health. As he told the AGT judges, Roslyn’s been declared cancer-free. Back in March, after Singleton had finished performing, Cowell called Roslyn out on stage and asked her how she thought her husband had done. “I have been crying since he started,” Roslyn said. “He has been practicing every day and I never heard him sing so good.” Singleton says he and Roslyn have no doubt that his music has helped her heal. He’s singing so often he’s hardly aware that he’s singing. “[Roslyn] tells me, ‘You have helped me. Keep singing to me with your healing love,’” Singleton says. He believes that same healing love can also spread to his audience. He believes his music takes him to another place, and he hopes listeners are carried along on that journey. “The other world is where nobody’s mad at anybody, the sun shines and there’s no rain. When I’m singing and I’m playing, everything is okay,” Singleton says as his voice chokes up. “My wife isn’t sick.” PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM
Enjoy
R E M SUM AK BRE
with Charlotte Mecklenburg Library June 7 – August 14, 2021
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MUSIC JULY 28 - AUGUST 10
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Sam Lewis (Evening Muse) Singer-songwriter Sam Lewis has been likened to a modern Townes Van Zandt.
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
JULY 28
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Renelvis, Space Daddy and the Galactic Go-Gos, Drunken Prayer (Snug Harbor) Renelvis, the self-proclaimed “Filipino Spawn of Elvis,” is the real Elvis Presley impersonator. He’s also a beloved Charlotte legend.
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
JULY 30
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Occult Fracture, Evergone, Queen City Rejects (Tommy’s Pub) Despite Evergone’s ephemeral-sounding name, the rock ‘n’ roll band of brothers, craft complex, propulsive, rough-edged music that makes a lasting impression. Chew, Mindvac, Of Sinking Ships (Snug Harbor)
Coconut Groove (Middle C Jazz) Colby Dobbs accompanies Coconut Groove and phenomenal female vocalists as they perform the best of Steely Dan.
JULY 31
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Blue Dogs (Neighborhood Theatre) The Blue Dogs have been blending the genres they grew up with — bluegrass, country, rock and soul — since before the Americana genre existed.
Musicology: The Art of the Sample (Stage Door Theater) Quentin Talley and The Soul Providers and The Mighty DJ DR essay a musical mash-up of hip-hop and R&B featuring versions of the old school hits that inspired hip-hop legends. Special Ed, Chubb Rock, Monie Love, Positive K (Underground) The secret weapon in the ’90s-centric roster of this old-school rap show may be British female rap artist and two-time Grammy nominee Monie Love.
Aoife O’Donovan, Carsie Blanton (Booth Playhouse) Singer-songwriter O’Donovan has released three critically-acclaimed solo albums, is cofounder of the bands I’m With Her and Crooked Still, and is the featured vocalist on The Goat Rodeo Sessions with YoYo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer, and Chris Thile.
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Coconut Groove (Middle C Jazz) Colby Dobbs accompanies Coconut Groove and phenomenal female vocalists as they perform the best of Steely Dan.
AUGUST 1
JULY 29
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Flat Out Insult, Leaving For Arizona, Latepost (The Milestone) Flat Out Insult is a blistering punk-rock trio from Monroe.
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
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RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Remember Whensdays (Middle C Jazz) Sean Higgins Trio and Theresa Rene present a night of Ray Charles. Sunny Side (Evening Muse) The New Orleans seven-piece jazz band is influenced by Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Sidney Bechet, Fats Waller and other early jazz legends.
Shiprocked! (Snug Harbor) Scott Weaver’s iconic rock-dance party holds the center of gravity in Plaza Midwood. Wilma, Added Color, Sunday Boxing, Ink Swell ALAN CHARMER (PETRA’S, AUG. 6) (The Milestone) Hard-rock combo Wilma takes Power trio Chew purvey a mix of experimental rock, its name from a Helmet song and not from a character funk, and prog that is as agile as it is mercurial. on The Flintstones. Annabel Lee, Ravinger, The Silencing Machine, Strike CBDB (US National Whitewater Center) the Tower (The Milestone) CBDB is an American progressive rock band based in Charlotte’s Annabel Lee specialize in progressive and Tuscaloosa, Alabama. melodic metalcore. Hustle Souls (Neighborhood Theatre) Asheville’s Hustle Souls blend dusty vinyl soul RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B nostalgia with a modern sensibility. JoDavi (Evening Muse) The High Divers (US National Whitewater Center) JoDavi fuses his soulful roots with orchestration to Charleston’s The High Divers pull from a variety of create a sound that recalls Motown greats and movie influences ranging from Tom Petty and Wilco to Dr. soundtracks. Dog.
Bakalao Stars, MoFunGo (Snug Harbor) Veteran rock en espanol outfit Bakalao Stars mix pop, ska, reggae and cumbia in a distinctive style all their own.
AUGUST 2 PHOTO BY ELIAS PITTMAN AND SARAH BLENIS
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Wilma, Duckbeak, The Eccentrics (Skylark Social Club) Hard-rock combo Wilma balance moments of serene beauty with metallic riffs that lock in like a heatseeking missile. The Situationals, Trash Room (Tommy’s Pub) The Situationals are guided by their love of ’80s alternative, early NYC punk, new wave, and contemporary indie. BadCameo (US National Whitewater Center) BadCameo’s energetic tunes mix elements of pop, rock, electronica, jazz, dance and funk.
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Death Before Dishonor, Tension, Fever Strike, Nuclear Desolation, E.D.I.T.H (Skylark Social Club) Boston’s Death Before Dishonor play heavy hardcore influenced by Pennywise and Agnostic Front.
AUGUST 3
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Hickoids, Chevy Pinkeye, Januaryknife (The Milestone) San Antonio’s legendary Texas Hall of Fame punkcountry band Hickoids top the bill.
MUSIC FEATURE AUGUST 4
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
“No Future” (Snug Harbor) This edition of the August Snug residency features Telepathics, Adam Cope, Distemper, plus DJs Fat Keith Richards and Robert Childers. Rise Against (CMCU Amphitheatre) This Chicago quartet serves up melodic hardcore with a dash of carbolic. Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse) After an open singalong circle where everyone who wants to can strum along, anyone can sign up to perform.
AUGUST 5
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Oak City Slums, Axnt, Simon SMTHNG (Snug Harbor) With influences ranging from Baltimore Club to Crystal Castles, hip-hop/bass producer Oak City Slums concocts sound textures ranging from brisk and peppy to dark and electric.
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
The Groove Skeletons, Bergenline, Thomas Palmes and the Pigeon Boys (The Milestone) Fun fact: The first two notes of any groove are referred to as the groove skeleton. Mike Mains & The Branches (US National Whitewater Center) Mike Mains & The Branches is an adventurous indierock band based in Michigan.
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Thursday Night Jazz Jam and Martinis (Middle C Jazz) Rodney Shelton, Eric Brice and Jay D Jones perform the songs of the Isley Brothers.
AUGUST 6
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COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Steel Blossoms (Evening Muse) With skilled harmonies and musicianship, this acoustic duo sings about life’s challenges, all with a refreshing sense of humor.
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Quentin Talley and The Soul Providers (US National Whitewater Center) The Soul Providers layer frontman Talley’s signature spoken-word style over a live band seamlessly fusing of jazz, funk, and soul.
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
The Eyebrows, E.Z. Shakes (Evening Muse) The Eyebrows describe themselves as “Underground Power Pop” – eargasmic melodies with off-center lyrics, coupled with unpredictable, manic live shows. Anchor Detail, Witch Motel, Stormwatchers, Ember City (The Milestone) Witch Motel crafts a mix of psychedelic-rock, alternative and stoner-metal. Autumn Rainwater, Nadia Nympho, Chocolate Kndy, See Bird Go (Snug Harbor) Singer-songwriter Autumn Rainwater shifts easily from smoothly sung bangers and sassy raps to relatively chill and pensive sounds. The Unlikely Candidates (Neighborhood Theatre) Begun as a Forth Worth, Texas, acoustic duo, The Unlikely Candidates have blossomed as an alt-rock combo. Petrov, Alan Charmer, Quad and DJ Saudade (Petra’s) Now Times: A Welcome Back Gallery Show features not only these great acts but work from 26 local visual artists.
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
AUGUST 8
AUGUST 10
William Green (Middle C Jazz) Along with vocalist Karen Bryant, jazz composer Green presents a tribute to Nat King and Natalie Cole.
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Rough Dreams, Duckbeak, Home For The Day (The Milestone) Rough Dreams are spaced out emo punks from Knoxville, Tennessee.
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Jazmin Ghent (Middle C Jazz) Jazmin Ghent is an international smooth jazz and gospel recording artist as well as an accomplished music educator.
AUGUST 7
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
A Tribute to CSN&Y’s Déjà Vu (Evening Muse) This tribute to the durable Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young album benefits Crisis Assistance Ministry. Until They Bleed, Downside Dead, The Lowdown Dirty, Inferior Design, Alteredvision (The Milestone) Until They Bleed in an N.C. metal quartet. The New Creatures, David Taylor & The Tallboys, Tennis Courts, Nige Hood (Snug Harbor) Drawing on influences ranging from ’60s rock to modern indie, The New Creatures recall the glory days of FM rock radio. Jordyn Zaino, Scott Harding and Friends (Skylark Social Club) Fort Mill’s Jordyn Zaino specializes in raw and relatable lyrics delivered in a goosebumps-inducing voice. Nathan Story, Mercury Carter, Arsena Schroeder (Veterans Park, Huntersville) R&B singer-songwriter and entrepreneur Arsena Schroeder’s The Unplugged+ Live Series boasts heartfelt songs from Nathan Story and the extraordinary and soulful vocals of Carter. Red Dress Amy (US National Whitewater Center) This Charlotte trio draws on influences ranging from Cream, Jimi Hendrix and The White Stripes to cultivate their gritty, high-octane rock ‘n’ roll.
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Left to Suffer, Fractured Frames, Haymaker, Heft, A Winter Spent Dying (The Milestone) Left to Suffer is a touring metalcore quintet from Atlanta. Kings of Leon (PNC Pavilion) Comprised of three brothers and a cousin, Kings of Leon filter classic rock and alt-folk influences through a distinctly southern sensibility.
VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.
AUGUST 2021
JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Jazz is Phish (Middle C Jazz) Jazz is Phish bring a fresh and exciting take on the music of Phish through the eyes of jazz musicians.
Jim Garrett & Geoff White (Tommy’s Pub) Americana duo play a mix of covers and flavorful originals
t h u j u ly 2 9
fri august 13
JODAVI
CLEM SNIDE AN EVENING WITH PARKER MILLSAP
ALBUM RELEASE f r i j u ly 3 0
SAM LEWIS
sat august 14
wed august 4
TOSCO MUSIC OPEN MIC fri august 6
STEEL BLOSSOMS THE EYEBROWS W/ E.Z. SHAKES
sat august 7
A TRIBUTE TO CSN&Y’S DEJA UV
BENEFITING CRISIS ASSISTANCE MINISTRY thu august 12
THE LUCKY LOSERS eveningmuse.com
CAROLINA STORY THE WALBOURNES & THE ECCENTRICS sun august 15
SAFARI ROOM, KNOWNE GHOST & KASKA SUN thu august 19
SWEET CRUDE (NOLA) fri august 20
SETH WALKER
W/ SAM FOSTER (WHISKEY FOXTROT)
3 3 2 7 n d av i d s o n s t, c h a r l o t t e n c
FOOD & DRINK FEATURE
DISHING IT OUT Supperland pastry chef Liana Sinclair visits 300 East BY TIMOTHY DEPEUGH
“You want to know my secret?” Liana Sinclair — pastry chef and goddess, currently to be found slinging rich, moreish, and glorious pies at Supperland in Plaza Midwood — leaned over her pimento cheese burger on a warm Saturday night, almost daring us to reply. Here she was, on a rare night off, fresh from Texas, already taking the Charlotte food scene by storm, and she was about to share the secret of her success. I may have nodded yes, or I may have stopped breathing altogether. “It’s that I don’t have a sweet tooth,” she finally explained. The lines across my forehead must have given away my shock, but it turned out I was in good hands, as this cunning pastry chef once worked as an aesthetician. Long before that, Liana made her US debut on a JFK tarmac, arriving from South Korea at 5 months old to be adopted by a Mormon family in upstate New York. “I was the good kid growing up,” she told me. “Straight A student. A really conservative family, though. My dad wanted me to go to a regular college to be a lawyer or a doctor, which I tried — for, like, a week or two.”
LIANA SINCLAIR SETTLES IN AT 300 EAST.
And that’s how she ended up as an aesthetician. “I dropped out of college, went back home, and then went to school to be an aesthetician. I don’t know, I was working at a spa, like doing facials and stuff.” She could see the stereotype in my eyes. “I wasn’t doing nails, Tim.” “I didn’t say anything,” I replied, reaching over to grab another piece of toasted, buttery baguette and a spoonful of goat cheese — silky and oozing — to slather on top.
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Liana’s rules of the freezer
ROAST CHICKEN AT 300 EAST PHOTO BY KENTY CHUNG
We were at 300 East — and we were hungry. When I suggested the venue for dinner, Liana didn’t hesitate to accept. “All the people I’ve met so far have told me I needed to come here.” Nearly everyone in Charlotte who does pastry, she was told, has spent time at the Dilworth institution, so as the new pastry chef in town, a visit was a foregone conclusion. Because the photographer was late, we didn’t know whether to wait or go ahead and order, so
PHOTO BY KENTY CHUNG
we compromised and opted for the goat cheese appetizer. “God, this is good,” she said. There was a time 12 years ago when things could have turned out differently. Liana almost took the savory path with her culinary career, but explained, “I am way too neurotic to go savory.” She felt more at ease in pastry, with her Type A personality. “You know what savory cooking is like, right? Throw a bunch of stuff together and kind of adjust it, and it will be nice. But pastry — pastry is like science.” “So you can tell your dad you’re a scientist after all!” I interjected. “Exactly,” she said. “I’m a food scientist. Yes, you can play with the rules once you know all the rules and you, like, know how things work. But you can’t just take the baking soda out of something and hope that things turn out OK. There are rules.” Sometimes those rules are unspoken. When I offered a suggestion about a certain dish on Supperland’s savory menu that would require use of a freezer, she recoiled like a cat taking issue with its own shadow. “No, that’s not going to happen. That is my freezer. There are unspoken rules in the kitchen, like about the freezer. And Liana’s table. Someone fucking took my tape from my table yesterday. Can
you believe that?” The tape, it really does need to be said, is blue painter’s tape — the kind used when finishing accent walls at home or, in Liana’s case, for making labels. “She’s like, ‘I just need a piece,’ and I said, ‘Please don’t touch my tape’ in a way that made her think I’m crazy. Because she doesn’t know the unspoken rules.”
A meal at 300 East
By then the photographer had arrived, and we ordered our mains. Liana’s pimento cheese burger was triumphantly plated in a way that suggested the need for its own orchestral accompaniment. She tore through it with gusto. Our photographer, Kenty Chung, went with roast chicken — a well-seasoned plate of protein that was perfect, in his case, for building up the triceps he uses to hold his camera aloft. (I would be lying if I said Liana was the one who pointed them out to the room.) I, however, was less enthusiastic about my shrimp cakes, which tasted to me more like cornmeal flavored with shrimp, but it was hard to focus for too long on them, as Liana was not ready to put the tale of the blue tape behind us.
FOOD & DRINK FEATURE “There are some things that I’m very neurotic about, and Chef Chris (Rogienski) and the guys in the kitchen get it; they don’t bother me about it. Like, my blue tape. You have to cut the tape. I don’t like ripped tape. A couple of people have grabbed my tape. But I’m like, ‘OK, first of all, put my tape down. And second of all, where are your scissors?’ It has to be cut at a 90-degree angle.” “Does cutting the tape at a 90-degree angle
shaped and smooth that, were they metal, they might be deemed the product of advanced alien technology? And the clever way she pickles them — as though in deference to the fruit itself, a way to maintain its true flavor, so that you can taste the fruit and appreciate the fruit, which is only possible as a component in a dessert that is not so sugarforward. Or that cornbread pudding. Or even those chocolate chip cookies, which look like fat hockey pucks. Without sacks of sugar, Liana chef-ifies in other ways to make those ingredients shine, and Charlotte is here for it. That was a concern of hers before she drove to North Carolina from Texas with her dog Drake. (I tease her again, “You mean to tell me that you, the pastry chef, stopped in New Orleans and didn’t go to Café du Monde for the beignets?”)
What’s dessert?
SHRIMP CAKES
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PHOTO BY KENTY CHUNG
make your brie bites taste better?” I asked. “Yes,” she said. “And no, it makes me more organized. Those brie bites are very, very organized. And that’s another thing: Chef Chris appreciates my pastry crazy, but he also knows that, like, I’m organized — and neurotic.” I may tease her about the brie bites, which I’ve written about previously, but her desserts are truly something else. Liana’s neuroses are immediately apparent, and in hindsight, so is her no-sweet-tooth secret. What else other than neuroses and OCD could explain the type of laser-focused precision required to make mini balls of peaches that are so uniformly
eaten around town, Liana also wants to introduce new flavors. “I’m Korean, so things like gochujang, of course, but that’s not really on brand with what we do at Supperland. Though I am trying to find a sneaky way to get yuzu on the menu.” “A sneaky way? How will your work-husband react?” I asked, using her favorite term for Chef Chris, who insists that ingredients are sourced locally or at least have ties to the South. “Who knows? Maybe I can find a Southern source for yuzu?” she replied. After dessert at 300 East, in the dining room of that old Victorian house surrounded by tables of people enjoying the food and having the time of their lives, Liana spilled more secrets. First, her hair: “There’s not a lot of Asians running around Plaza Midwood with teal hair. I would say that opening a restaurant turns your hair gray. That’s why I dyed mine teal, to cover up the gray. It’s been every color of the rainbow, really. But I do get random people stopping me and asking, ‘Hey! Are you the pastry chef at Supperland?’” Second, a new pie: “I think I’m going to be testing the boundaries of how much people
are comfortable with paying for dessert here in Charlotte. There seems to be an upper limit of $10 or $12. This will be more.” Her plans for this pie include lots of pecans, lots of Valrhona chocolate, and maybe little dots of Morello cherry to zhuzh things up. Third, more future plans at Supperland: “I think brunch maybe is in the cards at some point.” This would give her the chance to expand her pastry program to include viennoiserie, and maybe even her all-time favorite pastry, the croissant-y crown-shaped saucer of butter and sugar more elegantly referred to as kougin amann “And since you don’t have a sweet tooth, perhaps a savory pastry? Like a quiche?” I asked. “That’s the plan.” “I would eat the hell out of your quiche,” I said. Liana Sinclair — pastry chef and goddess; 5’3” giant in an industry dominated by men; devoted dog mother and lover of vintage-style clothes; erstwhile Mormon and nouveau Charlottean, chapeau’d in teal, single and maybe ready to mingle, blushed and said, “You’re the first guy who’s ever said that to me.”
for
Her impression of Charlotte at first was that the locals would only go for a certain kind of dessert. (“Ahem. We’re called Charlotteans.”) The sweet kind, for example, that arrived to our table at the end of our meal: 300 East’s signature brownie. “See, this is the kind of stuff I think people want to eat, though,” she said. “They want stuff that reminds them of their childhood.” And, indeed, this brownie was, summed up by a single word, nostalgic. “It’s also a damn great brownie. That texture!” I said. The second dessert, I could tell, was much more aligned to Liana’s pastry sensibilities: an eggy cherry clafoutis with flecks of candied flair, the technique on display, the lower sugar usage. “This is like my personality,” she said. Aside from introducing Charlotte to bold desserts that are less sweet than those normally
CHERRY CLAFOUTIS PHOTO BY KENTY CHUNG
INFO@QCNERVE.COM
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LIFESTYLE PUZZLES
LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU
TRIVIA TEST BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ
BY LINDA THISTLE
PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.
1. LITERATURE: In which novel did the character Sherlock Holmes first appear? 2. GEOGRAPHY: Where is Area 51 located in the United States? 3. SCIENCE: How long does it take for light from the sun to reach Earth? 4. ENTERTAINERS: Which actor and comedian’s original name was Joseph Levitch? 5. GAMES: What is the sum of all numbers on a roulette wheel? 6. AD SLOGANS: What product was advertised with the slogan “Let your fingers do the walking ...”? 7. FOOD & DRINK: What grain is used to make sake? 8. U.S. STATES: Which state has used the slogan “Heart of Dixie” on its license plates? 9. MYTHOLOGY: Who was the Greek god of time? 10. GAMES: How many players are on each side in a polo game?
CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Pagan belief 6 Shortly 12 Refuses to comply with 20 Bubbling over 21 Not end on schedule 22 She played Natalia Boa Vista on “CSI: Miami” 23 Warming up a 24-ounce Starbucks drink? 25 Corded phone connection 26 See 11-Down 27 Beijing-to-Taipei dir. 28 Indian-language word meaning “lower limbs?” 29 Greek dawn goddess 30 Car ad abbr. 32 Edison’s middle name 34 Go quickly, old-style 35 Put clothes on a raccoon relative? 39 Margarine, old-style 41 Praise highly 45 Gossipy sort 46 Pea keeper 47 Shiny gray wrist bones? 50 Bagel option 52 Non-paper money 54 Defeated in a footrace 55 Countrified 58 “Right on!” 59 Echo 60 “That South Asian yogurt drink is my favorite!”? 64 Strip race 66 Anger 68 Defiant type 69 Scan for typos and such 71 “Me and Bobby --” (1971 hit) 73 Off-roader, in brief
74 Counterfeit 75 Spatula on a Hawaiian porch? 77 Noontime nap 80 Ring match 82 Singer Debby 83 Words after many fiction book titles 84 Legions 86 Least vicious 90 Beautiful woman in the Muslim paradise who’s destitute? 92 During each 95 Actress -- Grace Moretz 96 Really tiny 97 Be worthy of 98 Chariot in which the Bible’s three wise men traveled? 100 Fast escape 102 1952 Winter Olympics city 104 Egg: Prefix 105 Foldable bed 106 Pool lengths completed by Hindu masters? 111 “... bug -- feature?” 113 Typos and such 116 Geometric plane curve 117 Fight a ruling family of old Florence? 120 Stopped sleeping 121 Tristan’s lady 122 Tendencies 123 Anonymous 124 Wood finish 125 Inner tension DOWN 1 Crib outburst 2 “Except after C” lead-in 3 Roughens 4 -- Field (Mets’ stadium) 5 “Put -- on it!”
6 The so-called “Godfather of Punk” 7 Fall mo. 8 Malted drinks 9 Potted dwarf 10 Spy’s info 11 Start of an end-of-week cry that’s followed by 26-Across 12 Wrap offerer 13 Sir Walter Scott hero 14 Christian music singer -- Patty 15 Classic song 16 Umpire’s call 17 Lake that abuts Ohio 18 Egg foo -19 Gets the idea 24 DEA figure 28 “Barney Miller” star 29 Ben & Jerry’s rival 31 “Red Book” Chinese chairman 33 Put in words 36 Go hungry 37 Justice Alito 38 Raiders’ stats 40 Lead-in to a holiday 41 Delayed 42 Call into a court of law 43 Cornered 44 Big racket 47 Between solid and liquid 48 Filmmaker Nicolas 49 Tea holder 51 Time stretch 53 Old El -- (salsa brand) 56 Top dog 57 Tomb raider Croft 59 Sirius XM medium 60 Lyric writer Gershwin 61 “We’d better skip that” 62 Apparent
GET BACK TO DOING WHAT YOU LOVE.
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# YO U I M P R OV E D # YO U I M P R OV E D
YOUR CARE. YOUR WAY. | ORTHOCAROLINA.COM I WILL GO ON ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.
63 Mexican hats 65 Broccoli --: Var. 67 Perpetually, to poets 70 Be worthy of 71 1972 Summer Olympics city 72 Christmas Nativity display 74 WWII battle site 76 Unit of bricks 78 “Climb -- Mountain” 79 Six, in Sicily 81 Forebodings 83 Yellowfin tuna, in Hawaii 84 Santa -85 Wrap offerer 87 Deciding (to) 88 One-man bands, e.g. 89 Examine 91 Doe and hen 93 Vainglory 94 Construction bolt installer 98 Many a Utah churchgoer 99 Fish lurer 100 Vilify in print 101 By itself 103 Untethered 106 Time stretch 107 Tot’s H2O 108 Composer Khachaturian 109 Create 110 Hip hangouts 112 Showing skill 114 Country’s McEntire 115 Yemeni port 117 Part of ACLU: Abbr. 118 Fruity drink 119 Suffix with 31-Down or 93-Down
LIFESTYLE COLUMN
PG.16 PUZZLE ANSWERS
THE SEEKER NEW MOON MAGIC
A fresh start in the sky and in the home
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BY KATIE GRANT
July 9 brought forth a new moon in Cancer, but if you’re not intimately familiar with astrology, you might be wondering: What exactly does that mean and why does it matter? A new moon is the first of eight phases, occurring when the moon settles between the Earth and the sun, so the illuminated side is facing away from our view on Earth. This is why, when there’s a new moon, to us it may look like a ghostly sliver or the poster for The Ring. OK, that’s more of an eclipse view. More often than not a new moon isn’t visible at all to the casual human onlooker at night. As one might imagine, a new moon phase signifies new beginnings, which means it’s a beautiful space for intention-setting, goal-setting, or shifting your life’s trajectory. I had never experienced a new moon meditation until it came upon us on July 9. I consider myself a very pragmatic yogini — I use my practice to connect with my breath, self-observation, and self-awareness. Aligning with lunar energy isn’t something I have considered much, but a chance to do so through a free, online meditation? Let’s do it! New moon, new me! I am The Seeker after all. I logged into the Facebook Live event on the morning of Friday, July 9, with a handful of other practitioners from other areas of the country, a perk of virtual events. Our guide introduced herself and provided a little background on what the new moon represents and why it’s an ideal time for meditation. As a new-moon novice I was grateful for these details. She explained that a new moon is a time to cleanse, plan, and be optimistic for the future. This means working through or releasing stagnant energy and becoming hyper-aware of our lives’ direction. She very directly asked us to consider, “Are you doing all things with love? Are you fulfilled or weighed down?” The new moon offers a chance for this self-reflection and the opportunity to untether. The word that arose for me during my meditation was “buoyancy.” I wanted so badly to feel carefree and light. Dearest New Moon Energy, please show me the way! Our guide led the online group into our 30-minute meditation practice and gently reminded us that, by
quieting our mind and pausing bodily movements, we open ourselves up to receive information from our guides, our higher selves, and the universe. We were also reminded that we can interchange any of these phrases with God or whatever other term as we saw fit, acknowledging that using the name of God can freak people out a little bit. I should note that as I write this, I am reminded of Nerve editor-in-chief Ryan Pitkin’s recent newsletter intro in which he commented on how his CPCC astronomy class gave him a new perspective of the universe and how meaningless what we’re doing down here on Earth is. Small is how I felt during this new moon meditation — insignificant. Or as Sarah Silverman appropriately labels it, “speck of dust”. As we settled onto our mats, a mantra was introduced, a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation: “My energy is clear, and I am open to receiving guidance.” It was at that moment I decided to adopt the mantra for the rest of the new moon phase. I am always seeking guidance and direction. Why have I not tried a new moon meditation before? Other optional tools for a new moon meditation include a selenite crystal wand (yes, I actually own one), a white candle, and energy-clearing herbs like rosemary, sage, and cedar. I personally think cedar smells like pee, so hard pass. We learned that the New Moon in Cancer will specifically highlight issues around the home, family, and real estate. Cancer rules the fourth house of the zodiac, which deals with home, family (mothers in particular), childhood issues or your ancestral home. We also learned that because Cancers are ruled by the moon they can be hypersensitive, creative, emotional, and reclusive, like a hermit crab recoiling into its shell. So what does specific new moon energy signify? It’s an ideal time to work on healing old family wounds (trigger alert) but also a great time to manifest anything else your heart may desire. Update your resume and apply for that job, say yes to a first date … you get the gist. Basically, New Moon in Cancer is prompting us to take the reins and drive onward and upward. As for me, I’m manifesting less obligations and more personal time (carefree and light, remember?) for creative projects. Afterall, New Moon in Cancer is the optimal time for planning, and planning is the key to success. Painting a bedroom focal wall is at the top of my list, currently. Perhaps something in an alluring lunar shade so I feel like I’m slumbering under the infinite feminine grace of the moonlit sky. The next new moon, New Moon in Leo, will occur on Aug. 8. How will you observe? INFO@QCNERVE.COM
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CULTURE
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BLOCKS
Find upcoming events at ArtsAndScience.org/CultureBlocks
Don’t JUST Recycle,
Recycle
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ONLY RECYCLE THESE SIX ITEMS
No Plastic Bags
By Lucie Winborne • Prior to becoming America’s 38th president, Gerald Ford had a side gig as a model. In 1942, shortly after joining the Navy, he landed an uncredited spot on the cover of Cosmopolitan in his uniform. • Scotland has 421 words for snow. • Coca-Cola can remove blood stains. Pour a whole can into your wash, along with the blood-stained clothing and your usual detergent, then run a normal cycle. The laundry will come out stain-free. • “Albert Einstein” is an anagram for “ten elite brains.” Hmm, seems fitting to us. • Sales data gathered by the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council indicates a strong link between the number of hot dogs and sausages sold at Major League Baseball stadiums and their team’s ability to win games. • Your nose is always visible to you, but your brain ignores it through a process called Unconscious Selective Attention. • “Prison Inside Me” is a hotel of sorts in South Korea where people pay to be locked away in solitary confinement for 24 hours. “Jail mates” wear matching uniforms, sleep on the floor in 54-square-foot cells and are forbidden to speak to each other. Meals are minimal — a steamed sweet potato and banana shake for dinner and rice porridge for breakfast. Like any good getaway, the prison stay comes with a souvenir: a certificate of parole upon completing one’s stint in solitary confinement! • Who says there’s no such thing as truth in advertising? Nebraska’s recent advertising campaign slogan, complete with T-shirts and coffee mugs, was “Nebraska: Honestly, it’s not for everyone.” • Tickling has been divided into two types. Knismesis refers to “light featherlike” tickling, and gargalesis refers to “harder laughter-inducing” tickling. *** Thought for the Day: “There’s something beautiful about keeping certain aspects of your life hidden. Maybe people and clouds are beautiful because you can’t see everything.” — Kamenashi Kazuya © 2021 King Features Synd., Inc.
LIFESTYLE
HOROSCOPE JULY 28 - AUGUST 3
AUGUST 4 - AUGUST 10
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You face the
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A misunderstanding LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Most of the
possibility of raising your relationship to another level. However, your partner might demand that you make promises for which you’re not sure you’re ready.
LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) What
appears to be an unfair situation might simply tests the temperament of the sometimesbe the result of a misunderstanding. If you feel headstrong Aries. Instead of blowing your top, something is out of balance, by all means, correct it. take time for a pleasant diversion while things cool down.
SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A stalled relationship won’t budge until you make the first continue, expect things to get a little more hectic at move. Your partner offers a surprising explanation your workplace. An unexpected travel opportunity about what got it mired down in the first place. could open new career prospects. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) As changes
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Confront the person who caused your hurt feelings and demand a full explanation for his or her actions. You’ll not only recover your self-esteem, but you’ll also gain the respect of others.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) That personal problem in the workplace is compounded by someone’s biased interference. Stand your ground, and you’ll soon find allies gathering around you. LEO (July 23 to August 22) You don’t accept
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A workplace problem could make the divine Bovine see red. But talk it out before you consider walking out. Some surprising facts emerge that change your earlier focus.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) A co-worker shares some startling news, but before you can use it to your advantage, make sure it’s GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You face a choice true. The weekend favors family matters. between ignoring your uneasy feelings about your relationship with that special person and CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Your demanding explanations. A close friend offers wise usual conservative approach to family situations counsel. might not work at this time. Keep an open mind about developments, and you might be pleasantly CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A change you’d been surprised. hoping for carries an unexpected complication. Stay AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Plans
might have to be put on hold because of a family disapproval easily. But instead of hiding out in your member’s problems. Don’t hesitate to get involved. den to lick your wounded pride, turn the criticism Your help could make all the difference. into a valuable lesson for future use.
time you are the most unflappable person around. But be ready to be thrown off-balance in the nicest way when Cupid takes aim in your direction.
SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) It’s not often when someone tries to “sting” the sharpwitted Scorpion. But it can happen. Continue to be skeptical about anything that seems too good to be true. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Your strong sense of self-esteem helps you serve as a role model for someone who needs personal reassurances. Your efforts pay off in an unexpected way. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19)
Someone close considers revealing a painful secret. Withhold judgment. Instead, open your the course, and things will work themselves out. Be generous heart, and offer dollops of your love and understanding. sure to make time for family and friends.
LEO (July 23 to August 22) Aspects favor spending AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Your
time with loved ones. On the job, new ideas are generally welcomed. But some demands for PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Relationships changes could cause problems. Be ready to defend VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) That former in the home and in the workplace need your careful your choices. friend you thought you’d cut out of your life is still attention during this period. Be careful not to allow affecting other relationships. Counter his or her lies misunderstandings to create problems. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Good news: with the truth. Your friends are ready to listen. That workplace problem is close to being resolved
talents as a peacemaker are called upon once more as an old problem re-emerges with new complications. Move cautiously in order to avoid falling into hidden traps.
PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Your artistic
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side is enhanced with the reception given to your with results that should please everyone. Take time new project. Use this success as encouragement toward fulfilling your larger goals. off to indulge your love of fun and games.
BORN THIS WEEK: You have a keen, insightful intellect and enjoy debating your views with others who disagree with you. You also love to solve puzzles — the harder, the better.
BORN THIS WEEK: Your natural sense of leadership is combined with a deep sense of responsibility. People trust you to give them both guidance and understanding. 2020 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.
LIFESTYLE COLUMN
PG.17 PUZZLE ANSWERS
SAVAGE LOVE RETURN OF THE CRABS Fool me once, shame on you
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BY DAN SAVAGE
I’m a gay male in my forties and I’ve been married to my husband for nine years. There was some mild infidelity on his part (exchanging photos and flirting via text with another guy) early in our relationship. I confronted him at the time, and he lied to me. I decided to let it go, as it was early in the relationship. Fast forward a few years and he gets crabs and gives them to me. He told me it was most likely from the volunteer work he does in a homeless shelter. I let it go again. Fast forward another couple years and I’m feeling insecure and look on his iPad, only to find confirmation that he was sleeping with the guy he’d exchanged photos and flirty texts with early in our relationship. This sent me into a severe depression. All my concerns over the years were confirmed, and further sleuthing revealed there was another guy he was fucking around with as well. He admitted to all of this only after I showed him the proof. I chose to forgive and forget. The pain was too much to deal with and I just wanted to move on and get back to our lives. At the time we talked about having an open relationship and I told him I was cool with that, but I wasn’t cool sharing my life with someone who lies to me so easily. We mutually decided that opening the relationship wasn’t a great idea and never really discussed it again. I’m happy I decided to move past this because the last four years have been great. We never fight, our sex life is good, we have a wonderful home and social life. I hadn’t felt the need to sleuth on his devices in years. I felt secure in our relationship. Then two weeks ago I discovered he has crabs (again) after he gave them to me (again). He says he has no idea how he got them. This has obviously brought his history of lying and cheating back to the forefront and I’m questioning so many things. I feel like the only way I’ll ever get the truth is if I find proof and fuck that. I’m not going back to scouring his phone and devices. If I’m staying, I’m staying. But should I stay? Are all past infidelities moot at this point because we’ve put them behind us? Can this new case of crabs be viewed in isolation? Can people get genital area crab infestations during a non-
sensual massage? Or am I the idiot whose husband has been fucking around on him the whole time we’ve been together?
SCRATCHING HEAD AND MEAT
Whether or not you stay depends on what you’re willing to tolerate, SHAM. You were willing to tolerate being married to a guy who had cheated on you in the distant past. Can you tolerate being married to a guy who has most likely cheated on you in the recent past and — given his track record — will probably cheat on you again in the future? Answer that question, SHAM, and you’ll know what to do. As for the new case of crabs, SHAM, sure, it’s possible your husband got them during a non-sensual massage — if the place wasn’t clean, if they reuse towels and sheets without washing them, if they don’t disinfect the massage table. I don’t know why anyone would wanna get a massage at a filthy place like that, but maybe your husband isn’t so choosy. But I gotta say … it seems far likelier that your husband, a man who lied to your face the last time he got crabs, is lying to you again. Crabs — pubic lice — are almost always transmitted during pubes-to-pubes contact, e.g., someone who has crabs grinds their crotch against the crotch of someone who doesn’t have crabs and then they both have crabs. That doesn’t necessarily mean your husband had sex with a body worker. He may have gotten one of those full-body-contact massages that involve the masseuse stripping off and rubbing his body all over his client’s body — and while I think that kind of massage qualifies as sensual, your husband may feel (and rationalize) differently. So let’s go ahead assume the worst: Your husband never stopped cheating on you, which means your husband is the same person he’s always been. Maybe he’s one of those guys who really wants to be monogamous and feels terrible every time he fucks around behind your back. Or maybe he’s one of those selfish jerks who doesn’t want an honest open relationship because that would mean giving you the same freedom. Whatever it is, SHAM, he’s unlikely to change. So, what do you do? Leaving him means giving up everything about your marriage that you enjoy — the good sex life a decade in, the generally low-conflict intimacy, the home you’ve made together, the social life you share. But if staying makes you feel like an idiot, SHAM, your anger (justified) and resentment (ditto) will eventually ruin what you enjoy about your marriage. To be clear, SHAM, I don’t think staying means you’re an idiot. But you’ll have to make peace with who your husband is if you decide to stay — not for his sake, for yours. Make peace with it again, I should say, as I don’t
TRIVIA ANSWERS: 1. “A Study in Scarlet” 2. Nevada 3. About 8 minutes, 20 seconds
4. Jerry Lewis 5. 666 6. Yellow Pages 7. Rice
think you stopped scouring his iPad and phone for evidence because you didn’t think he was cheating on you. You stopped because you didn’t want to know if he was. If you do stay, SHAM, you might let your husband continue to think he’s risking his marriage when he cheats. That won’t stop him — it hasn’t up to now, right? — but your husband will be less likely to seize every opportunity that comes his way if he thinks he’s risking his marriage. If you don’t hand a DADT card and/or tell him you’ve made peace with his cheating, SHAM, he’ll redouble his efforts to be discreet and continue to be careful to use condoms with other guys so as to avoid exposing you to a more serious STI. (I say “continue to be careful” because if he’s been cheating on you all this time and only brought crabs home, SHAM, then he was probably being careful, i.e., using condoms, with other guys.) For the record, SHAM, I don’t think this solution is ideal — making peace with whom your husband is but not telling him — because I’m a fan of ethical non-monogamy. But you’re never gonna get ethical non-monogamy out of your husband. You’re gonna keep getting what you’ve been getting all along. If that’s unacceptable, if you can’t live with that, you should definitely leave. If you can live with that, if you can resume ignoring what you kinda knew all along, you might be able to stay. Good luck. If the condom breaks, who do you think should pay for Plan B?
SETTLE THIS ARGUMENT
The government. I am on the cusp of starting a sexual relationship with a newly paraplegic man. (We’re both in our late 20s and cis het if that matters.) He hasn’t had any
8. Alabama 9. Chronos 10. Four
sexual partners since his injury, so he hasn’t had much opportunity to experiment with what works for him now. He’s told me he has no sensation below his belly button. I’m not sure if he’s been able to achieve an erection since becoming paraplegic, but he said he hasn’t been able to orgasm since it happened. I’m hoping that you (or your experts or readers) might have some advice and/or resources for us. I want to make sure that the experience is as satisfying for him as it can be.
SENSITIVE PERSONAL ISSUES NEED EXPLORATION
Reading the blog post “Keeping the Romance Alive After a Spinal Cord Injury” at Spinalcord.com. There are some great insights, SPINE, and lots of useful links. My advice: You wanna have a satisfying sexual experience with this guy — his first since his injury — and that’s great. But you’re more likely to have a positive experience if you don’t make it all about his dick. While you shouldn’t ignore his dick, SPINE, you need to go into this encounter — you both need to go into this encounter — believing you can have a rewarding and successful sexual experience even if he can’t get hard or climax. It’s going to take him some time figure out what works for him now — what he needs to get hard, what he needs to get off — and in the meantime, SPINE, his tongue works, his arms work, his hands work. And non-PIV sex — or any other kind of sex in the absence of one or more erections — isn’t some sad consolation prize. They’re satisfying sexual experiences for everybody involved and, just as importantly, they’re things he can excel at, right now, erection or no erection. If you want him to come out of his first sexual experience after his injury feeling more confident about his body and his abilities, center mutual pleasure, not his cock. Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage; mail@savagelove.net; savagelovecast.com
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