Queen City Nerve - January 26, 2022

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5; JANUARY 26 - FEBRUARY 9, 2022; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

News: Thousands of NC caregivers lost to COVID pg. 4

Arts: The local bookstore on your doorstep pg. 6

Going deeper

Indie pop band Oceanic gets more introspective as they grow

By Pat Moran | pg. 11

Pg. 2 - JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022

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TABLE OF CONTENTS NEWS & OPINION

4 Too Many Children Left Behind by Katie Dukes Researchers estimate more than 3,600 children have lost caregivers in North Carolina during the COVID-19 pandemic

ARTS & CULTURE PUBLISHER

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MUSIC

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FOOD & DRINK

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LIFESTYLE 18 Puzzles 20 Missed Connections 20 Horoscope 22 Savage Love 23 The Seeker by Katie Grant

Thanks to our contributors: Pat Moran, Grant Baldwin, Katie Grant, Kiah Svendsen, Nancy Pierce, Ari Levaux, Eleanor Kath, Daniel Carrai, Jeff Cravotta, Jon Megna, and Dan Savage.

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VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5; JANUARY 26 - FEBRUARY 9, 2022; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

No Insurance? No Problem! Ask about our in-house Dental Savings Plan

News: Thousands of NC caregivers lost to COVID pg. 4

Arts: The bookstore on your doorstep pg. 6

Going deeper

Indie pop band Oceanic gets more introspective as they grow

By Pat Moran | pg. 11

@QUEENCI T Y NE RV E W W W.QCNERV E .COM

16 The Greens of the Winter Market by Ari LeVaux It’s not just a summer thing

COVER PHOTO BY: ELEANOR KATH COVER DESIGN BY: CHARLIE MARION

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8 Lifeline: 10 Cool Things To Do In Two Weeks

11 Going Deeper by Pat Moran Indie pop band Oceanic gets more introspective as they grow

AD SALES EXECUTIVE RENN WILSON rwi ls o n@q c ne rve.com

6 A Community in Books by Karie Simmons Shelves Bookstore moves from pop-ups to the web

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

TOO MANY CHILDREN LEF T BEHIND

Researchers estimate more than 3,600 children have lost caregivers in North Carolina due to the COVID-19 pandemic

BY KATIE DUKES, EDNC.ORG

Research published in October in the Journal of Pediatrics revealed the high toll caregiver deaths are taking on children nationwide, particularly Native American, Hispanic and Black children.

The researchers used fertility, household composition data, and COVID-19 and excess death rates to estimate what they termed “COVID-19associated orphanhood.”

They estimated at least 1,855 children in North Carolina lost a caregiver between April 1, 2020 and June 30, 2021.

Updated estimates now put this number even higher.

A new report published in December by the COVID Collaborative used a similar methodology to expand on the previous estimate, including deaths from January 2020 through midNovember 2021.

That study estimated 3,626 children have lost caregivers in North Carolina during that time.

For the purposes of both studies, “caregivers” are parents, custodial grandparents, or grandparents who live in the same household as the children and provide for at least some of their basic needs.

The death of any caregiver can have negative impacts on the learning and health outcomes of children over the course of their lives.

Children who’ve lost caregivers are more likely to experience mental health problems and lower self-esteem.

They’re also at higher risk of suicide, violence, sexual abuse and exploitation. Additionally, this type of loss is associated with shorter schooling.

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Undercounting caregiver deaths

In the original research paper and in subsequent interviews, the researchers acknowledge their methodology likely resulted in an undercount of the true number of children experiencing caregiver death. This is due in part to the period they studied.

From April 1, 2020 to June 30, 2021, North Carolina recorded almost 14,000 COVID deaths. In

Researchers estimate that at least 3,600 children in North Carolina have lost caregivers during the pandemic. the six months since the study’s completion, more than 5,000 additional deaths have been reported.

There are also many children who live with aunts, uncles, or other guardians whose deaths would not have been included in either study’s methodology.

While the more recent study includes those additional deaths, the likelihood of undercounting is still present, in part because states such as North Carolina are months behind in processing death certificates.

According to Summer Tonizzo, a representative from the N.C. Department of Health and Human Services, the transition from a paper system to a digital database for tracking death certificates means “there can be 3 to 5 month delay from the

date of death before that death record is included in [State Center for Health Statistics] data files.”

This means some of the data used by researchers to estimate the number of caregiver deaths is out of date.

Susan Hillis, a COVID-19 response researcher with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and lead author of one of the studies, said that’s why her top priority for addressing this crisis is getting an accurate, timely accounting of how many kids have experienced the death of a caregiver and who those children are.

In response to learning about North Carolina’s death record delays, Hillis stressed, “The estimate of the number of children affected will only be as good as your death estimates.”

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In general, Hillis says it’s a reasonable estimate that for every four COVID-19 deaths, one child is orphaned. North Carolina’s COVID death toll surpassed 20,000 on Jan. 20, according to the NC Department of Health & Human Services. By Hillis’s broad estimation, there may be as many as 5,000 children experiencing COVID-19-associated orphanhood. That’s approximately one of every 462 children across the state.

The report helps stakeholders begin to predict where those losses have occurred. By comparing county COVID-19 death rates with the proportion of the population under age 18 in each county, it’s possible to find counties where both of those rates are high. These counties likely have higher proportions of children who’ve experienced caregiver loss.

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE Mecklenburg County has seen a rate of 23.48% COVID deaths in proportion to the school-age population. That’s higher than Gaston (22.56%), Lincoln (20.86%), and Iredell (22.74%) counties, but not as high as Cabarrus (25.78%) and Union (26.84%) counties.

Regardless of where those children are across the state, researchers predict the racial and ethnic disparities seen among COVID-19 deaths will be reflected in caregiver deaths as well.

Racial and ethnic disparities

Historically, schools have been responsible for providing significant mental health support to children experiencing trauma and ACEs, including the deaths of caregivers. But likely never in the history of the state’s education system have so many children lost caregivers in such a short amount of time. This will present unique challenges for a generation.

For nearly two years, all of North Carolina’s students have been exposed to the ongoing stress and uncertainty of the pandemic.

Jay Pearson, associate professor at Duke University’s Sanford School of Public Policy, says this is of particular concern when it comes to students of color.

“The set of conditions that many kids of color are contending with in their homes and immediate social environments are such that it leaves very little space for the kinds of primary socialization that ideally prepares them to perform well in school,” Pearson said.

Typically, the presence of a caring adult in the life of a student can compensate for exposure to various forms of stress. Children who’ve lost caregivers will likely rely more heavily on teachers and other adults in their lives for the social and emotional support Caregivers include parents, custodial grandparents, or grandparents who live in the same needed to develop healthy brains and bodies, which household as the children and provide for at least some of their basic needs. can impact their entire lives.

In an interview with the Hechinger Report, Cynthia Osborne, director of the Prenatal-to-3 Policy Impact Center at the University of Texas at Austin, explained, “We will see kids show up to kindergarten feeling less secure, needing more assistance and more services. But we will also see this for decades to come. We will see teenagers who have not been able to kind of reach that level of executive functioning they need to make better choices.”

The COVID Collaborative provides a series of recommendations for policymakers and schools, including developing a coordinated strategy to identify children who’ve lost a caregiver, plus the expansion of grief-competence at schools, access to high-quality early childhood programming, integration of social and emotional development and evidence-based mentoring in academic learning, and access to mental health care in schools.

To that end, the recently passed state budget does include funding to ensure that each district in the state has at least one school psychologist, an almost $9.7 million grant program “to support students in crisis, school safety training, and safety equipment in schools,” and salary supplements for school psychologists, speech pathologists, audiologists and school counselors. There are no plans for specifically addressing the needs of students whose caregivers have died.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

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The inequitable distribution of caregiver deaths across racial and ethnic categories is of particular concern given that students of color already face greater risk of exposure to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) due to various forms of structural inequality. The CDC defines ACEs as “potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood (0-17 years),” including “aspects of the child’s environment that can undermine their sense of safety, stability, and bonding.”

The best available data indicates that in North Carolina, the Hispanic population is 9.8%, but Hispanic children make up 21.1% of children who’ve lost caregivers due to COVID-19. Non-Hispanic American Indian or Alaskan Natives are 1.6% of the population, but 5.1% of children who’ve lost caregivers. Non-Hispanic Blacks are 22.2% of the state’s population, but 38.1% of children who’ve lost caregivers.

Combined, these groups make up just 33.6% of the state’s population, but 64.3% of children experiencing caregiver death.

Jim Johnson, a professor at UNC’s KenanFlagler Business School who studies inequality, suspects communities haven’t begun to process the magnitude of the impact of COVID deaths.

“I don’t think there are a lot of conversations about loss,” he said. “I think the circumstances, particularly in low-wealth families, are so overwhelming that oftentimes people don’t want to talk about those issues.”

Tripp Ake, a psychologist at Duke University Medical Center with more than 20 years of experience treating childhood trauma, agrees.

“We’re still getting our minds wrapped around how this pandemic has impacted the functioning of our kids and the ability of caregivers to be able to support them,” he said. “I think so much of this does fall to schools.”

Impact on education

ARTS FEATURE

AShelves COMMUNI T Y IN BOOKS Bookstore moves from pop-ups to the web

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BY KARIE SIMMONS

When I spoke with Abbigail Glen, founder of Charlotte-based Shelves Bookstore, she was still fondly recalling the previous night, when she found herself overtaken with laughter thanks to a book she had been reading.

“I was dying laughing like I was watching a TV show,” she said. “Like seriously, in the bed cracking up.”

For her, the experience was a perfect example of why reading plays such an important role in her life.

“Television is amazing, but a good writer can have you crying reading a book, laughing reading a book, like really stop and put down a book because you need to breathe. That’s what reading can do for you, and we’re here to remind people that reading is such a freeing experience.”

As a longtime avid reader, Glen encourages curiosity in others. She recommends people question the world around them and turn to books to find the answers.

If you don’t keep seeking, she asks, how can you learn?

Glen is a firm believer in the power books have to educate as well as entertain, and she knows from experience the freedom that reading provides.

“The more you read, it will free you,” she said.

“It will free you from the confines of thinking you know it all.”

This understanding, paired with a passion to serve the community, is what prompted Glen to launch her mobile pop-up bookstore, Shelves Bookstore, in June 2019. Since then, she has been popping up to sell books at cafes and breweries around Charlotte and has pivoted during the pandemic to offer online ordering and home delivery, along with merchandise and a monthly book subscription service.

But like any good story, Shelves’ success did not come without plot twists.

Charlotte’s friendly neighborhood bookseller

Glen moved to Charlotte from Philadelphia in 2016 after visiting on a road trip six months prior.

She had been working in human resources, but in the back of her mind lived a dream to someday open a brick-and-mortar bookstore that offered a subscription service.

Once she got to Charlotte, it didn’t take long for her to see the need. Glen learned that there was only one independent bookstore selling new books in the city. Other indie bookstores sold used books and big-box chains made up the rest of the market.

Curious about what it was like to do business locally, in 2018 Glen began attending small business workshops offered through a partnership between Mecklenburg County and Central Piedmont Community College.

She learned a lot, but wasn’t quite ready to take the leap yet.

“I had the name for Shelves, tucked it in the back of my mind and just was like, you know, I’m gonna pull this out when it’s time. And lo and behold, I wasn’t expecting that to be the next year,” Glen said.

By 2019, Glen had resigned from her HR job and was asking herself, “What’s next?” But she already knew the answer was Shelves. To finally get the dream off the ground, however, she would end up taking a different route than originally envisioned.

After a long discussion with a friend, Glen realized that her long-term plan to bring a brick-and-mortar Shelves out to the community through book fairs and pop-ups should actually be flipped — the pop-ups should come before the physical store.

Armed with this new approach, she signed up for one more workshop to flesh out her ideas, this time participating in one for blossoming

ABBIGAIL GLEN LAUNCHED SHELVES BOOKSTORE AS A POP-UP IN 2019.

PHOTO BY ELEANOR KATH

entrepreneurs hosted by ASPIRE Community Capital. She was the only person in attendance.

“I got their undivided attention and that was really valuable to me,” Glen said.

She launched Shelves the next month with her first pop-up at Queen City Grounds in Uptown.

It was well-received.

“I needed that because that was very encouraging and I honestly held onto that experience when times got rough, because not all pop-ups went that way,” she continued. “I never forgot that experience.”

Determining what books to sell, what topics customers might be open to reading and what her mobile pop-up bookstore would look like were among some of Glen’s earliest struggles with Shelves. Still, she didn’t have any expectations for her first few pop-ups, just a hope that people would appreciate someone trying to fill a need in the community.

“It was a couple of folks who opened their doors — Enderly Coffee Co., Lenny Boy Brewing,

Pepperbox Donuts — and I’ll always be grateful for everybody that took a chance,” said Glen, who today likes to call herself Charlotte’s friendly neighborhood bookseller.

“I’m glad for the experiences because it really helped me see what worked and what didn’t as far as for our customers and then what environments work for our type of business model.”

From surviving to thriving

Shelves was not an overnight success, and Glen isn’t shy to admit it. Like any new business owner, there was a learning curve for Glen with unpredictable ups and downs. She supplemented her income by working as a personal shopper.

Because she’s not a bookseller by trade, Glen had to figure out how to source books from publishers and, in doing so, came to understand that inventory is what makes independent bookstores unique.

Shelves doesn’t necessarily carry the trending books or bestsellers, but instead focuses on

ARTS FEATURE

ABBIGAIL GLEN LIVES BY THE SLOGAN “READING IS FREEDOM.”

GLEN ROCKS SOME OF HER NEW SHELVES MERCH.

PHOTO BY ELEANOR KATH

PHOTO BY ELEANOR KATH

had put on the back burner while getting the mobile bookstore off the ground — ideas like designing merchandise and launching a monthly book subscription service.

She did both, launching a monthly service called Reading Is A Lifestyle, or RIAL. Customers who pay to join the “RIAL crew” choose what types of books they are “open to reading,” rather than “interested in reading,” and that’s by design.

“Interested in, that’s influenced off of your experience,” Glen said. “Openness is like, ‘You know what? I may not have had any experience with this but I’m open to learning about it.’”

Each month, Shelves delivers a new adult hardcover book to RIAL members that fits one or more of the categories they selected. They don’t know what book they’re getting until they receive it.

Members also get access to an exclusive monthly virtual hangout where they talk with authors and share thoughts about the latest book they received with other members.

But RIAL is much more than your average book club, Glen insists.

“We’ve been able to build an even more intimate community of supporters through our subscription because these are individuals who are intentionally investing in the store every month with their monthly subscription payments saying, ‘I don’t know what book you’re gonna send me, but I trust you,’” she said.

Reading is freedom

Glen said she doesn’t necessarily believe that her own passion for reading gives her a unique perspective to own a bookstore as much as her ability to create community wherever she goes does.

“I’m really good with people and connecting people and making people feel like we could talk and have a good time anywhere, or sit down and get to know each other anywhere,” she said. “I feel like bookstores are the perfect environment for that, and so I envisioned that and was like, I possess those traits and I know that no matter what environment I find myself in that I have the ability to create community. And why not do it around books when books are written in an attempt to connect people with parts of the world — parts of themselves or cultures they haven’t explored before?”

With Shelves, Glen feels like she’s operating in her calling — a commitment to educating families, celebrating the joy that reading books brings and spreading the notion that reading is freedom.

That’s how she’s been able to navigate the ups and downs of the business with “some semblance of poise,” she said.

Glen intentionally curates each selection of Shelves books — whether at the pop-ups, in the online store or through the monthly RIAL

subscription picks —to expose readers to lesserknown writers and narratives, to encourage curiosity and conversation, and to foster learning.

“When you read a book, you are freeing yourself from your biases, especially when you are reading books that are not necessarily about topics and subjects that you’re comfortable with, which is why we also push the narrative of really diversifying the subject matter that you read,” Glen said. “When you only go back to things that you’re comfortable with, you will never get comfortable with being uncomfortable and that could be in other cultures, among other thought processes.

“When you incorporate reading in your lifestyle, I feel like you just can’t lose. You can’t lose because you’re keeping your guard up against the prejudice and things that are always at risk of clinging onto us if we’re not careful.”

It’s easy to gravitate toward what we’re wellversed in and what doesn’t make us think, Glen admits, rather than subject matter that makes us question what we know.

But if we don’t keep seeking, how are we ever going to learn?

KSIMMONS@QCNERVE.COM

JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022 - Pg. 7

lesser known authors in an attempt to encourage discovery among readers.

“Each bookstore is a reflection of its staff, its owners, its folks who make all of it work,” she said. “I learned to relieve myself of the pressure of trying to select the right books.”

Before the pandemic hit in spring 2020, Glen had recently launched an online book request service for customers to order books they couldn’t find at her pop-ups then pick them up at Enderly Coffee Co. in west Charlotte or Mint Hill Coffee & Social House in the eastern part of the county.

The new service was slow to gain momentum, however, and not a single request came through in February.

After receiving just a handful of book requests in a few months, Glen was shocked to see the numbers skyrocket as folks began to quarantine and spend more time at home.

“I looked at my phone one morning and saw we had a book request. I opened it thinking it was just one, and it was dozens,” she said.

That initial influx of orders funded the creation of Shelves’ online bookstore. By summer 2020, with in-person pop-ups on hiatus, Glen made a full pivot to the internet.

She offered home delivery, but kept the option for local readers to pick up books in Enderly Park and Mint Hill. The additional revenue stream allowed her to revert her focus back to ideas she

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TAMARA WILLIAMS ON DANCE AND DIASPORAS

Dancer, scholar and assistant professor in the Department of Dance at UNC Charlotte Tamara Williams presents a lecture in conjunction with Isaac Julien: Lina Bo Bardi — A Marvellous Entanglement, British artist and filmmaker Isaac Julien’s nine-screen film installation/tribute to Italian-Brazilian architect Lina Bo Bardi. Williams, who has trained extensively in Afro-Brazilian dance, draws on her personal experience as an artist and scholar to illustrate how these dance forms reach across cultures and continents. In this way, she gives the audience a lens to appreciate the African Diaspora.

More: Free; Jan. 27, 7:30 p.m.; virtual (Zoom); bechtler.org

TAMARA WILLIAMS Photo by Jeff Cravotta

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HAYDEN CHILDRESS

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“You’ve seen rabbits pulled out of hats … now see hats pulled out of rabbits.” This cryptic claim is made

by Charlotte-based magician Hayden Childress, who studied sleight of hand at the age of 10 before launching his professional career at 16. The modern magician and mentalist, who was featured on the latest season of Penn & Teller: Fool Us on The CW Network, eschews glitzy Las Vegas legerdemain and ornate magical props for everyday objects. His performances combine magic, psychology, and audience participation. But do the rabbits mind that bit about the hats?

More: $25-$35; Jan. 29, 8 p.m.; Stage Door Theater, 155 N. College St.; blumenthalarts.org

YES CHEF! Photo courtesy of Petra’s

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YES CHEF!, SIDESTEP DOG, ILL INTENTIONS, MIND VAC

Anxious, ambitious and hopeful, Yes Chef! is a musical contradiction — a scrappy indie combo that raises a full and luxurious racket. Queen City Nerve’s Best New Band in 2020 employs grinding guitars, coiling bass, heroic trumpet and a tapestry of trilling flutes — and that’s just in one song, “Chelsea,” which opens the band’s exuberant EP Drive Safe.

Songwriter and guitarist Leith K. Ali entwines his vocal lines with bassist KC Marie Roberge in pensive yet triumphant tunes, emo oxymorons that are wistful introverted anthems and fanfares for the everyman.

More: $7-$10; Jan. 29, 8 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com

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YUNGBLUD

Just when you think pop punk is tapped out along comes Yorkshire-born singer-songwriter Yungblud harnessing punk spirit, pop savvy and hip-hop credibility to examine mental-health issues under a veneer of snark and cynicism. Most of all, he understands that the best pop punk couples anger and defiance with hope to overcomes creeping self-disgust. Musically, it may be nothing new — Yungblud hails from a musical family and his grandfather played with T. Rex — but he puts it over with panache that doesn’t obscure his vulnerability.

More: $39 and up; Feb. 1, 8 p.m.; The Fillmore, 820 Hamilton St.; livenation.com

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HAYDEN CHILDRESS Promo photo

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WEDNESDAY NIGHT LIVE: FOLLOW YOUR HEART GUIDED GALLERY TOURS

Portraiture forms the bedrock of Mint Uptown’s American Art gallery. The museum’s collection includes portraits by leading artists including Gilbert Stuart, and Thomas Sully, and subjects range from historical figures to children. More recent portraits reside in Mint Uptown’s Modern and Contemporary collection. Who better to present these paintings of memorable personalities than indelible personality and living work of art Buff Faye, ‘The Queen of the Queen City?’ She’ll guide two gallery tours while DJ Selah Say spins tunes throughout the evening.

More: Free; Feb. 2, 6:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.; Mint Uptown, 500 S. Tryon St.; mintmuseum.org

YUNGBLUD Promotional photo

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‘THE SPINE OF NIGHT’

Imagine the coolest black-light poster come to life, or being immersed in a Philippe Druillet fantasy illustration, complete with brawny, bloodthirsty warriors and copious male and female full frontal nudity. Taking its name from an episode of astronomer Carl Sagan’s landmark TV show Cosmos, The Spine of Night expertly replicates the rotoscoped animation of Ralph Bakshi’s Lord of the Rings and Fire and Ice. But the plot of this heavy metal-inspired portmanteau fantasy, how the pursuit of power becomes an all-consuming downward spiral, seems firmly grounded in present reality.

More: $10 donation; Feb. 2, 8 p.m.; VisArt Video, 3104 Eastway Dr.; visartvideo.org/events

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Gastonia garage rockers The Menders barreled out of the gate like a blast of brimstone last fall with their fourth full-length release, The Devil’s Reel, which the band bills as “an exploration into the temptation and wages of vice and sin, the weakness of will, and the triumph of the spirit.” Perhaps so, but the takeaway is an exhilarating yet melodic rush that feels roughhewn and reckless. There’s a chugging early ’70s vibe here, and while the lyrics rest uneasily in the here and now, the music channels Sweet’s Desolation Boulevard.

More: $5; Feb. 2, 9:30 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

Comedian and actress Adele Givens has appeared in sitcoms including Martin and films like The Player’s Club. All of that pales next to her response to a heckler in a late ’90s Def Comedy Jam. Noting the guy’s small feet, she surmises that he has a tiny penis. “I couldn’t give him no blow job,” Givens says.

“My big ass lips, his little dick, it wouldn’t work. It would be like trying to give a whale a Tic Tac.” The entire audience jumps to their feet and cheers. It’s a thing of beauty.

More: $25-$30; Feb. 4-6, 7 p.m. & 9:45 p.m.; Comedy Zone, 900 NC Music factory Blvd.; cltcomedyzone.com

THE MENDERS, DAVID CHILDERS

ADELE GIVENS

THE MENDERS Promo photo

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THE LEGACY OF AFRICAN DRUMS

Gantt’s Family First series connects with the roots of African-American expression through traditional African drumming. Guiding participants through the history and impact of African drums is Drums 4 Life, launched by Kojo Bey, who has performed and taught African drumming as a healing art for 20 years. Bey believes the power of the drum is unleashed when the drummer’s heart is filled with love. The program will cover drum-making as well as their diverse uses, which include communicating, celebrating and mourning.

More: $10; Feb. 5, 12 p.m.; Gantt Center, 551 S. Tryon St.; ganttcenter.org

FAMILY FIRST: LEGACY OF AFRICAN DRUMS Photo by Nancy Pierce

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FEB 2_3-2_12 ‘PUFFS’

‘THE SPINE OF NIGHT’ Photo courtesy of Yellow Veil Pictures

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ADELE GIVENS Photo courtesy of Universal Attractions Agency

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For every Sylvester Stallone, there’s a Frank Stallone; for every Groucho Marx a Zeppo — people shunted out of the spotlight because everyone is focused on the stars. Charlotte’s newest theater impresarios Proxymoran Productions present the story of the under-appreciated Puffs. For seven years, Harry Potter went to a wizard school and conquered evil. Puffs was there too, but no one bothered to tell his story — until now. The tale, subtitled Seven Increasingly Eventful Years at a Certain School of Magic and Magic, is for anyone who has never been destined to save the world.

More: $15; Feb. 3-12, 8 p.m.; Stage Door Theater, 155 N. College St.; blumenthalarts.org

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MUSIC FEATURE

GOING DEEPER Indie pop band Oceanic gets more introspective as they grow

BY PAT MORAN

There was no way Oceanic could put out an album and not be able to support it by playing shows, not when the band’s main source of income is generated through those shows. So they took some songs already recorded for the aborted album and combined them with new tunes to craft their six-song debut EP, also named Angel, which dropped in July 2021.

“It was not super-planned,” Wyatt says. “It was more like us adapting.”

The band still has upwards of 20 songs they haven’t released yet, a situation that will partly be rectified by plans to release what Johnson calls “a slew of singles” in 2022, building up to the release of Oceanic’s debut album.

Kicking off that flood of new music will be the February release of Oceanic’s new single, the cantering yet yearning dance pop creation “Care More.” That will be followed by a string of subsequent singles, released every few months, Wyatt says.

The band is also celebrating a new addition. In fall 2021, drummer Joseph Stevenson stepped in to fill a position that has recently been covered by a handful of guest percussionists.

“Joseph is such a good fit,” Johnson says. “He contributes so much, not only to the music, but also personality-wise.”

As a foursome, Oceanic rolls into the new year with a slate of shows in Charlotte and elsewhere.

The itinerary includes a gig at Snug Harbor on Feb. 5 as well as a small East Coast tour with Orlandobased band Take Lead.

It’s an impressive outreach for a self-styled introspective band that hopes to inspire listeners to look inward.

“We all think that by giving an honest look at yourself and who you are inside — that’s the first step towards becoming the best version of yourself and finding fulfillment,” Goodwin says.

Rendezvous at Liberty

Music has been a part of Johnson’s, Goodwin’s and Wyatt’s lives for as long as they can remember.

Growing up in the unincorporated community of

OCEANIC (FROM LEFT): JACOB JOHNSON, NATHAN WYATT AND SAM GOODWIN.

West End, a piedmont town about an hour west of Fayetteville, Johnson started playing piano at age 6. After six years of lessons, he took up the guitar.

“I decided [guitar] was way more rock ‘n’ roll, so I passed on piano,” Johnson says. His high school years included a stint in the choir.

“There were other options for me as far as a college degree but it became clear early on … that it was music or nothing,” he says.

Wyatt moved around because his father was in the Air Force.

After being born in Oklahoma, Wyatt lived in Germany for a while, then landed back in Oklahoma. He started piano lessons at age 5.

While Wyatt enjoyed playing classical pieces, he decided on a musical vocation after he learned about improvisation from high school choir teacher named Mr. Piper at a homeschool co-op.

PHOTO BY DANIEL CARRAI

“He taught me … that you don’t have to play exactly what’s on that piece of paper,” Wyatt says.

Wyatt began writing songs and dabbled in theatre.

Denver, Colorado native Goodwin cannot remember a flip-of-the-switch moment when he realized music was his life’s path.

His mother was a piano teacher so he started playing the instrument when he was 4, he picked up trumpet in middle school and guitar at age 12.

During his senior year in high school, Goodwin started playing bass in the school’s jazz band.

“Bass players are few and far between, so I was definitely a hot commodity pretty much everywhere,” he says.

Goodwin, Johnson and Wyatt all went off to college at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, an institution that prompts conflicted emotions in all of them.

JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022 - Pg. 11

In their ethereal video for “Angel,” Oceanic’s surging yet subtly icy ballad, the band plays in an empty hall on a raised stage, lit from below.

As Jacob Johnson’s plaintive plucked guitar entwines with Sam Goodwin’s nearly subliminal pulsing bass, singer and chief lyricist Nathan Wyatt’s swooning, fine-grained croon warps around this conflicted couplet: “I can’t live between these simple lines / I can’t see past my own jealous eyes.”

Imperceptibly at first, Wyatt rises, seeming to grow. Then, he takes off, floating above the small stage as he sings, “Is it a miracle, heavenly lie, that you want me by your side?”

This minor miracle of stagecraft and song encapsulates the worldview of a band that combines the unflinching self-examination of emo with the swirling sophistication of multilayered pop.

The everyday becomes magical as Wyatt’s private thoughts and obsessions mirror the listeners’ own preoccupations.

In Oceanic’s embrace of communal emotions and values, the personal becomes universal.

“We’re a band who tries to bring people together with music,” Wyatt says. Then he shares a story about the shoot for the “Angel” video that may be the perfect illustration that no matter how lofty the band’s goals are, they’re still three friends making music, and firmly grounded in reality.

“The first time I was up in the harness for the flight thing, the wire snapped and I fell 6 feet down onto the stage,” Wyatt says.

Goodwin remembers being off the set with Johnson as director Daniel Carrai hoisted Wyatt on the wire for a practice run.

“We didn’t know what was happening, we heard a loud crash from the other room,” Goodwin says.

“It was a perfect slapstick comedy moment,” Wyatt says. The band chalked up the tumble to just another setback to be navigated, like the full album they finally had ready for release after a year of crowd-sourced fundraising just as COVID swept through the world with the force of a tsunami.

MUSIC FEATURE

OCEANIC WITH DANIEL CARRAI.

Pg. 12 - JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022

PHOTO BY DANIEL CARRAI

In fall 2021, more than 20 women who had been students at the Evangelical university filed a lawsuit that claims college leadership enabled on-campus rapes while suppressing reports of sexual assault.

A year prior, Jerry Falwell Jr., son of the institution’s founder, stepped down as president of the university after he posted an Instagram photo of himself beside a woman while his pants were unzipped.

That came after Florida pool attendant Giancarlo Granda claimed he had a relationship with Fallwell’s wife that involved Fallwell watching the couple as they had sex.

Less salacious but equally damning, university administration earned a reputation for fostering a culture of fear in which students and teachers who rejected Fallwell’s pro-Trump stance were silenced or expelled and fired.

“There were plenty of divisive and polarizing attitudes and events sanctioned by the leadership of Liberty University that we disagreed with,” writes Wyatt, speaking on behalf of the band. “We believe propaganda engineered to indoctrinate is wrong. We disagree with the way the administration pushed their political beliefs on students instead of teaching students to think for themselves and build their [worldview] based on what they believe is right.”

PHOTO BY JON MEGNA

“We personally weren’t … swayed by the narrow political agenda they pushed. If anything, it made us more open to diverse beliefs and more actively accepting of different people. However, we think the overall political culture at Liberty is harmful and divisive.”

Wyatt further writes that the band is accepting of all people.

“We believe real community is very important, especially in a cultural climate of extreme individualism, loneliness, and lack of relationships.

We’ve seen that political polarization is rampant and believe it’s incredibly harmful. Community based on dislike or hate of another group of people is hollow and insubstantial.”

That said, Johnson, Goodwin and Wyatt all agree that their professors at Liberty were exemplary.

“Politically speaking, none of them would bring anything up in the classroom that would make people feel like they were less-than if [they] had different ideals,” Wyatt continues. “We had a ton of awesome professors who loved teaching and loved their students.”

If the climate at Liberty inadvertently sparked the band’s open and accepting views, the university can also be credited for germinating some quality music by bringing Johnson and Wyatt together in 2016 at an awkward orientation

PHOTO BY DANIEL CARRAI

meeting on the first day of the semester.

“It was one of the group get-togethers at the hall, where you played dumb games and got to know each other,” Johnson offers.

“We kind of hated each other at first,” says Wyatt, “for approximately 30 seconds.”

The pair soon bonded over their shared love of music. Johnson started playing a song hook he’d written. Wyatt came up with some chords, and together the pair wrote the rollicking rock tune “You,” which became the second song Oceanic released, and perhaps its most popular tune.

“That sparked the rest of our friendship and the beginning of Oceanic,” Johnson says.

A few months later, the nascent Oceanic, comprised just of Johnson and Wyatt at the time, played an open mic at Liberty. Goodwin was in the audience.

A couple months later, one of Goodwin’s best friends, a bassist named Naoto Barrett, joined Oceanic. After Goodwin filled in on bass for a show Barrett couldn’t make, Wyatt and Johnson wondered how they could make a switch without hurting Barrett’s feelings.

“We felt that Naoto wasn’t really as in it as we were,” Johnson says. “Nate and I were trying to figure out how in the world to tell him we wanted Sam to be our bass player.”

Fortunately, Barrett had similar feelings and

wanted to step away from the band, so Goodwin stepped in while Barrett stepped out.

“Naoto and I are still best friends today,” Goodwin says. “He was in my wedding party and I was his best man.”

As their college years progressed, both Johnson and Wyatt changed their majors to Interdisciplinary Studies, which Johnson calls “making your own degree.”

He adds that the change was inspired in part by his losing a letter grade in one class for going to play an Oceanic show instead of attending a required choir concert. In the end, Johnson’s studies centered on music, religion and philosophy.

After briefly majoring in film, Wyatt shifted his focus to fine arts and music. His selfdesigned degree encompassed graphic design, photography and all the music production classes he could possibly take.

“It was all the stuff I was doing [already],” he says. “So it made the most sense.”

Goodwin earned a commercial music degree, a program comprised of performance, business and audio engineering.

“It’s a mixed stack of music goodness,” he says.

In the meantime Oceanic began to craft its distinctive sound. With all band members writing

MUSIC FEATURE

“Part if it was, ‘Is it cheesy to just go to college and start a band? It’s fun, but is there meaning behind it, or purpose?’” Johnson says.

Eventually, the friends decided it would be foolish not to pursue a career with the band.

Wyatt feels that whatever qualms he and the band have with Liberty, college somehow worked out for them.

“I met my best friends who are in a band with me now,” he says. “There were some cool opportunities in a college town that wouldn’t be there otherwise.”

He feels Lynchburg was a great place to start playing shows. The band was able to experiment and not be afraid of falling on their faces. “It was a great sandbox. There were enough people invested [in us] that we could do that and not seem like total dicks.”

Making a home in Charlotte

Oceanic had started playing gigs in Charlotte in 2018. They have particularly fond memories of an Evening Muse show with Foxfire Run and Trent Thompson, the latter of whom will join them on the Feb. 5 show at Snug.

While Johnson, Goodwin and Wyatt were still at college, their band was managed by their

friend, Charlotte native and fellow student Alyssa Swedick, whom they credit for prompting their move to Charlotte. Swedick had taken a course at Gat3, Charlotte’s Grammy-winning music production and recording studio owned and operated by Glenn and Susan Tabor.

At the end of each class term, a student brings in a band for the other students to record a demo with in the studio. Swedick suggested Oceanic for the end-of-class project, so Johnson, Goodwin and Wyatt headed down to Charlotte and cut a demo. They became fast friends with Glenn Tabor.

Subsequently, Oceanic became the student demo band for three different classes. “[We’ve essentially recorded] a full album there,” Johnson says. Eventually, Gat3 hired Wyatt to do some programming for them. He’s currently a contractor for the studio, doing production and programming while jumping in to play synthesizers, drums and more when needed. On his own time, Wyatt has also lent his talents as a songwriter to indie artists like Joshua Sosin, Laity, Natalie Naomic, The Consolation and more.

In 2018, Oceanic went from guest band at Gat3 to paying client when they cut their first two singles at the studio. Wyatt credits Swedick for the band’s forward momentum at that time.

PHOTO BY KIAH SVENDSEN

OCEANIC IS SCHEDULED TO PLAY AT SNUG HARBOR ON FEB. 5.

JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022 - Pg. 13

PHOTO BY DANIEL CARRAI

and arranging together, influences for the band’s audio profile run rampant.

“We’re all products of the Spotify age,”Wyatt says.

“We have access to a ton of different kinds of music.”

That said, Wyatt admits to one primary influence.

“I just want to be Coldplay,” he says with a laugh. “[We’re] introspective indie pop rock,” Johnson says. Goodwin similarly characterizes Oceanic’s output as layered and intricate pop music with indie influences.

“I can visualize a lot of dynamics and scene changes,” he says.

A lot of people only know the song “You” from Oceanic’s expanding oeuvre, Wyatt offers, adding that the tune is not entirely representative of the group’s sound.

A lot of the unreleased material is a bit colder with warm undertones, he says, and more pop than rock. In contrast, the band’s music that’s out right now is warm with colder undertones, Wyatt says.

Lyrics fall primarily in Wyatt’s wheelhouse, and they can be both autobiographical and impressionist, he says. Some stem from emotions that he doesn’t feel comfortable saying outright.

“[They] then become lyrics about trees, or whatever,” he elaborates. “It just makes it safer for me, but I still get to say it and there’s a release.”

Other times, Wyatt enters a flow state where he writes about feelings he never realized he had.

“Those are the best [lyrics],” says Goodwin, who occasionally helps out with lyrics.

The band’s style came together fairly quickly.

Wyatt believes the quick turnaround is due to a lot of guess work.

“It’s bunch of flying blind and cranking knobs and seeing what happens,” Wyatt says. “We have to trust our instincts.”

“We’re all students of music,” adds Johnson.

“The one thing that’s prevailed throughout the years is the phrase, ‘serving the song.’ How can we emphasize the musical or emotional impact they’re trying to achieve?”

“It’s where the song is the biggest ego in the room,” Wyatt says. “I like when music has more than what you can catch on the first listen. It’s just a little bit bigger.”

As graduation approached, the band members had to decide how serious they were about making music. Johnson recalls long conversations with Wyatt in the stairwell of their dorm discussing the future of Oceanic.

PHOTO BY MAURICE VICTOR II

PHOTO BY DANIEL CARRAI

Pg. 14 - JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022

OCEANIC DROPPED THEIR DEBUT EP, ‘ANGEL,’ IN JULY 2021, AND HAS A FULL-LENGTH IN THE WORKS.

“We were just a local band doing whatever we could, and she was the organizational force that made [things] happen,” he says. Once the funds were raised via Kickstarter, Oceanic went to Gat3 with the intention of recording five songs in one day, a goal they now realize was impossible to do well.

“It would have been trash,” Wyatt says. Wiser heads prevailed and Glenn Tabor convinced the band to record one quality song in one day, as opposed to five substandard tracks. Oceanic cut their first single, “Party Song,” in that session.

They still had enough funds left to come back to cut “You.” The band is grateful Tabor suggested a course correction and a change of plans.

“That defines the story of Oceanic,” Johnson says. “We’ve been so blessed with so many people who cared enough about us to invest a little time and energy [to] set us on the right path. Glenn and Alyssa did that.”

With their favorite studio and good friends in Charlotte, Oceanic needed one more nudge to move to the Queen City. That came with the sound of wedding bells. In short order, each of the band members got married, Wyatt in May 2019, then Johnson the following month. Goodwin eventually tied the knot in May 2021. Job prospects for the bandmate’s respective spouses looked more promising in Charlotte than in Lynchburg.

“We moved to Charlotte right smack dab in

the beginning of COVID,” Wyatt says. Still the band weathered the pandemic, recording their Angel EP at Gat3 and adding a new member to their team, video director Daniel Carrai.

Carrai and Wyatt met at college in a directing class, and hit it off right away. Carrai who plays drums, wanted to drum for Oceanic. At the time, the band already had a drummer, so Wyatt asked Carrai to shoot video of the band and take photos.

Carrai has gone on to do so much more. When the band plays out, they incorporate old cathode-ray tube TVs and other stage and design elements, all of which come from Carrai’s inventive imagination. “[Dan] does our music videos, photos and pretty much every single Instagram post we have,” Wyatt says.

“He brings a whole menu to the table,” Johnson adds.

The bandmates praise Carrai’s scrappy ability to create grandeur on a budget. He scored the main shooting location for the “Angel” video, a former church in a strip mall, for free. To create the stage that the band stands on — and Wyatt floats above — Carrai bought panes of plexiglass that he and then band frosted. Then he welded the structure together and placed lights underneath.

“All of those things are fabricated and very DIY. But … it doesn’t really look like it,” Wyatt says.

In the video for “Change Your Mind,” the band

performs in a half-built structure suffused with a red haze that suggests a David Lynch film shot during a brush fire. Those sequences were shot at Sur Studios on South Boulevard, but not in the facility’s high-end production studios.

Instead, Carrai and Oceanic shot in Sur’s front room while it was being stripped down and remodeled.

Those scenes were augmented with footage shot at Swedick’s Charlotte home during remodeling.

“If there were extra shots that we needed to get, Dan would figure out a way to do it in his garage with some cool lights and projections,” Wyatt says. “He will make anything work and make it seem incredible.”

The final piece of the puzzle in Oceanic’s creative team is a permanent occupant of the drum stool — Joseph Stevenson. On their first two singles the band worked with their first drummer.

Recently they’ve worked with studio session drummer Aaron Sterling, one of Glenn Tabor’s connections, who has played on records with artists ranging from Harry Styles to John Mayer.

Stevenson is also a friend from college, who played in a rival Lynchburg band called Rhineland.

When Oceanic parted ways with their old drummer, Stevenson would frequently fill in on drums. By 2021, Stevenson, who still lives in Lynchburg, was coming down to Charlotte to play shows for Oceanic.

“This past fall, we said, ‘What are we doing?

We like Joseph so much. He’s such a good dude,’” Goodwin says.

The band has offered the drumming stool to Stevenson and he will be moving to Charlotte within the next few months.

At this point, Oceanic is still a young band; Goodwin and Wyatt are 23, and Johnson is 24. This means the band has plenty of time to build and dream, particularly about the effect its music can have on listeners.

“I want our music to be introspective, to encourage people to think about their lives,” Goodwin says. “I also [want] people to know that they are cared for and thought about.”

“When Nate and I were deciding whether it was cheesy to be a band or not, we found meaning in the community aspect of it,” Johnson says. “Music is a powerful tool. It’s great way to meet people and do our best to influence culture for the good.”

“Over time, I’ve become a less and less opinionated person, because most of the time, really strong opinions drive people apart,” Wyatt says. “My strongest opinion now is that we could all stand to be more introspective. That has always been a big goal of the band, just to try to get people to ask questions about themselves, each other or life in general.”

PMORAN @QCNERVE.COM

MUSIC FEATURE WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 26 HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Phaze Gawd w/ WALT, Raddre (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Country 103.7 Tanner Guitar Pull feat. Brett Young, Scotty McCreery, Lauren Alaina and more (Coyote Joe’s)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Joey Santo sings Frank Sinatra w/ Sean Higgins Trio (Middle C Jazz)

THURSDAY, JANUARY 27 HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Samoht (online streaming event hosted by Neighborhood Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Ward Davis (Amos’ Southend) Yarn w/ Josh Shilling, Rainbow Girls

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

A Jazz Celebration of Stevie Wonder feat. Adam McKnight, Noel Friedline, Maria Howell (Middle C Jazz)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ Chase & Sug (Tommy’s Pub)

FRIDAY, JANUARY 28 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Carolina Headbangers Homecoming feat. Blackwater Drowning, Fear Until Fury, Preppen Barium, Death of August, Tyger (The Milestone) Dull Mourning EP release w/ No Longer at Ease, Dozr (Snug Harbor) Komodo w/ My Blue Hope, Something Went Wrong (Tommy’s Pub) Pinkest Floyd (Pink Floyd tribute) (Amos’ Southend) Glide STP (Stone Temples Pilot tribute (Visulite Theatre)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Cody Webb w/ Brooke Lee (Coyote Joe’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Nellie McKay (Stage Door Theater) Shadow Play: ’80s/’90s Underground Dance Party (Petra’s) The Mad Hatter’s Ball (SERJ)

Joseph Gallo (Primal Brewery)

SATURDAY, JANUARY 29 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Yes Chef! w/ Sidestep Dog, Ill Intentions, Mindvac (Petra’s) String Theory (Primal Brewery) 9daytrip (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) Indecision (Visulite Theatre) Third Eye (Tool tribute) w/ Piece of Time (Iron Maiden tribute) (Amos’ Southend)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony Orchestra presents Ravel Piano Concerto (Knight Theater) A Jazz Celebration of Stevie Wonder feat. Adam McKnight, Noel Friedline, Maria Howell (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Digital Noir w/ DJ Spider, DJ Sashimi (The Milestone) I Set My Friends On Fire w/ Sink In (Neighborhood Theatre) See Bird Go w/ Matt Dees (Snug Harbor)

BLUES/FUNK/JAM BANDS

Ultrafaux Ensemble w/ Boomtown Trio (Evening Muse)

SUNDAY, JANUARY 30 POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL Mike Phillips (Middle C Jazz)

MONDAY, JANUARY 31 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Wolves In the Throne Room (Amos’ Southend) Fast Eddy w/ Mel Machete, Canyon, Cap None of The Fill Ins (The Milestone)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 1 ROCK/PUNK/METAL Yungblud (Fillmore)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Jessi Little w/ Chase Bird, Jessica Borgnis (Middle C Jazz)

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 2 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Maul w/ Wharflurch, Writhing Shadows, Guilty View (The Milestone) The Menders w/ David Childers (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Joss Stone w/ Corinne Bailey Rae (Ovens Auditorium)

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Dirty Lowdown w/ Reflect//Refine, Flummox, Bleedseason (The Milestone) Lofidels w/ Dirty Thrasher, Lena Gray (Petra’s)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Gauxstman w/ Premo Rice, Cuzo Key, Cozzy FBN (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Brittney Spencer w/ Abbey Cone (Evening Muse) 49 Winchester w/ Cole Chaney (Neighborhood Theatre)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Jay D. Jones: The Songs of Al Green and R&B Classics (Middle C Jazz)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ Chase & Sug (Tommy’s Pub)

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Dave Koons and the Koyotes (Amos’ Southend) Atticus Lane w/ The Second After, Come Clean, The Hand Off (The Milestone) The Bill Miller Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) Cuzco w/ Young Mister, Julianna Money (Snug Harbor) Coffin Slide w/ Detest The Throne, Harriet RIP (Tommy’s Pub)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Parker McCollum w/ Walker Montgomery (Coyote Joe’s) Lost Dog Street Band (Neighborhood Theatre)

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Krvsade w/ Blaakhol, Angel Massacre (The Milestone) Stormwatchers w/ Witch Motel, Dark Sun Kuly (Tommy’s Pub) Mans’ Jam 2022 (Visulite Theatre) Departure (Journey tribute) (Amos’ Southend)

LATIN/WORLD

A Night in Rio (Neighborhood Theatre)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL Patrick Lamb (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC

Mykal Kilgore (Evening Muse) AJ Smith w/ Alex Embler, Natalie Carr (Evening Muse) Subtronics (Fillmore) Oceanic w/ Take Lead, Trent Thompson (Snug Harbor) Sickick (World Nightclub)

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 6 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Jim Garrett w/Geoff White (Tommy’s Pub)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Ryan Zimmerman w/ Matthew Paul Butler, Family Friend, Patrick Mawn (The Milsetone)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Dawn Anthony (Middle C Jazz) The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC

Hazy Sunday (Petra’s) Billie Eilish (Spectrum Center)

CHRISTIAN/RELIGIOUS

Winter Jam ’22 (Bojangles’ Coliseum)

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 7 OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 8

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

LATIN/WORLD

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Gena Chambers sings Anita Baker and Toni Braxton (Middle C Jazz) Tigran Asatryan (Booth Playhouse) Amor y Desamores feat. Bravo Pueblo, Florecita, Quisol (Petra’s)

FUNK/SOUL/JAM BANDS

Pluto Gang w/ Deaf Andrews (Booth Playhouse)

G. Love & the Juice w/ Jontavious Willis (Visulite Theatre) Joe Purdy w/ Earl Buck (Neighborhood Theatre)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022 - Pg. 15

Charlotte Symphony Orchestra presents Ravel Piano Concerto (Knight Theater) A Jazz Celebration of Stevie Wonder feat. Adam McKnight, Noel Friedline, Maria Howell (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

THE GREENS OF THE WIN TER MARKET It’s not just a summer thing

BY ARI LEVAUX

Pg. 16 - JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022

A LOOK INSIDE MECKLENBURG COUNTY MARKET, THE ONLY LOCAL FARMERS MARKET THAT STAYS OPEN 24/7, 365.

The farmers market used to be more of a summertime thing. When the landscape turns brown and white, our thoughts don’t rush off to the next farmers market. But don’t sleep on — or through — the winter Farmer’s Market. The colors of fresh veggies seem all the more vibrant against the grim backdrop of winter, and the flavors are like much-needed tastes of sunshine.

I live in Montana, which is about as close to Canada as you can get without a passport, and even there the diversity of produce at the winter market is astounding. Here and now in the middle of a Montana winter, I just ate a glorious salad of local greens that looks like it came straight out of July.

In Charlotte, The Bulb holds mobile markets and pop-ups in food deserts and other underserved communities year-round, offering free produce and groceries to folks who earn 50% or less of the average median income. You can keep up to date on where they’ll be by following them on Instagram @thebulbmobilemarkets, where they release weekly schedules.

The Charlotte Regional Farmers Market on Yorkmont Road operates in the winter, and though they recently had to close due to icy conditions, at the time of this writing they were scheduled to reopen on Jan. 25.

The South End Market on South Boulevard is

open 8 a.m.-1 p.m. every Saturday of the year.

Though the popular Kings Drive Farmers Market doesn’t operate in the winter, just a block over on Harding Place the indoor Mecklenburg County Market is open seven days a week, all year long.

The Davidson Farmers Market in north Mecklenburg County operates 9 a.m.-noon every other Saturday from January through March 19, while the Matthews Community Farmers Market to the southeast operates 8-10 a.m. on Saturdays from December to March.

The Piedmont Farmers Market — also known as the Winecoff Farmers Market — in Concord is open on Saturdays year-round, running from 9 a.m.-noon from October to April.

We owe this winter bounty to a perfect storm of changes. Warmer temperatures have tilted the growing field toward winter growth, furthered by advances in greenhouse technology, and funded by increasing hunger for local food, which makes it increasingly worthwhile for farmers to pay for heat — in return for year-round profits.

Northern farmers have been inching in this direction for years. Before it became common to pay to heat their greenhouses, farmers were extending their growing seasons with tricks like building little hoop houses inside big greenhouses, and covering these greenhouse crops for extra warmth. Back then, if a farmer

PHOTOS BY RYAN PI TKIN

heated a greenhouse it was usually to start finicky plants like tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers, in order to give them enough of a head start that they would bear fruit.

It was about two years ago that I noticed a sharp increase in the winter market greenery. The daring farmer had no trouble selling her tender greens. I noticed the other growers taking notice of her success, and the idea spread like weeds.

Today, the winter greenhouse bounty at the mid-January market includes arugula, bok choy, broccoli, lettuce, kale, parsley, cilantro, and celery.

The usual winter storage crops are for sale too, as well as protein-rich foods such as dried beans, cheese, eggs, beef, pork, chicken, and even local saltwater shrimp from a guy who grows them in a tank. And there are baked goods and condiments and value-added delicacies like maple syrup, hot sauce, dried tomatoes and other fruit.

With raw ingredients such as these, we have many options for making a satisfying winter meal.

I like to make a hearty winter-style stew with meat, potatoes, carrots, celery and onions, and serve it with as many raw garnishes as possible, like chopped raw onion and fresh parsley or cilantro. It’s a northern version of pho — a Vietnamese meaty stew with fresh herbs.

Another way to enjoy this bounty is to add winter greens to potato salad, along with

shredded carrots, hard boiled eggs, garlic and onions, add kale, parsley, and whatever else you can score that makes sense. Alternatively, make a grain salad, with cooked wheat or quinoa tossed with chopped parsley, garlic, onions and cheese, all tossed in a tangy vinaigrette.

Those recipe ideas all lead to a satisfying, hearty place. But now that winter is the new summer, why not go with a straight green salad?

The only thing glaringly absent from a bowl of winter greens would be the luscious tomatoes of summer. We make dehydrated tomatoes at home, in the peak of summer when fresh tomatoes are cheapest. In a salad, these dried tomatoes offer a similar sweet tang to the summer version, but with less juice.

In Charlotte, we’re lucky enough to have the Mecklenburg County Market, which sells hydroponically grown heirloom tomatoes yearround.

The farmers markets of summer get all the glory, but pound for pound, the winter markets have more guts. These off-season centers of homegrown commerce are like the distilled essence of their summer counterparts, smaller but more potent. Cuter, with more hot cocoa.

Here’s a recipe for a tangy dressing that goes great on fresh greens, and is easily customized into enough different variations to dress any salad.

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

PHOTO BY ARI LEVAUX

A TANGY WINTER SALAD.

Tangy Winter Salad The first time I made this salad I ravaged it like it was steak drenched with wine sauce, and I had just come home from war. The dressing recipe comes from sweetpeasandsaffron.com, and includes several variations, which I will note below.

You probably won’t have access to the exact same array of leaves that I got last week at the market. It doesn’t matter. Get what you can. But for the sake of education, here is what I used.

Variations on this Dressing Asian variation: add some toasted sesame oil Chile Lime variation: add some chili powder, garlic and lime juice

Combine and mix the ingredients.

Salad Recipe I’m hesitant to give a specific ingredient list, because your instructions are simply to go get greens at the winter market and build a salad around them, dressed with one of the above variations, along with onions, cheese and garlic, which you can reliably find at most winter markets. I’ll leave the quantities flexible, too. It’s a salad, not a croissant.

Greens (I used red leaf lettuce, curly kale, baby spinach, arugula and parsley) Sliced onions Dehydrated tomatoes, if you got’em Pressed garlic Hard cheese like Romano, grated; or crumbled feta Tangy White Wine Vinegar Dressing, above (original version, no variation)

Remove the ribs from the kale leaves. Massage the remaining foliage by squeezing and mashing it between your hands. Rip or cut it down to bite size pieces. Chop the lettuce and parsley as well. Leave the arugula and baby spinach whole.

Add the leaves, onions and dehydrated tomatoes to a large salad bowl and toss them with the pressed garlic. Toss in the salad dressing.

Add the cheese to the top and toss again if you wish, or let the cheese mix as you serve it.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM RYAN PITKIN CONTRIBUTED TO THIS ARTICLE, WITH HELP FROM CHARLOT TE ON THE CHEAP. JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022 - Pg. 17

Tangy White Wine Vinegar Dressing ½ cup white wine vinegar ½ cup extra virgin olive oil 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard 1 tablespoon maple syrup Salt and pepper to taste (don’t skimp on the salt)

Fajita sauce variation: chili powder, paprika, cumin and lime juice Zesty lemon version: lemon juice and zest

Pg. 18 - JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU

TRIVIA TEST

BY LINDA THISTLE

CROSSWORD

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. ANATOMY: How many ribs are in the human body?

2. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What kind of animal is a flying fox?

3. GEOGRAPHY: In which body of water does the island of Malta lie?

4. U.S. STATES: What animal is featured on the state flag of Louisiana?

5. TELEVISION: What was the name of the fictional airline whose jet crashed on an island in “Lost”?

6. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Which president ran on the slogan “Vote Yourself a Farm and Horses”?

7. MOVIES: What is the name of Thor’s hammer in the earlier “Avengers” movies?

8. FOOD & DRINK: The “Iron Chef” TV cooking show originated in which country?

9. HISTORY: In what year did the PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW Cold War end?

ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS 10. SCIENCE: What weather ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. condition is measured in ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved. millibars?

SLICK MIDDLE ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022 - Pg. 19

PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PG. 21

HOROSCOPE

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

JAN 26 - FEB 1

COYOTE JOES TooShyToSayHi II JANUARY 2022 You were in a leather jacket, you had a bunch of girls around you and I wasn’t sure if you were dating one of them so I was too intimidated to say anything. You have a killer smile and I love how you’re so friendly with everyone. I wish I introduced myself.

CATS TRAIN LEAVING HORNETS GAME DoesChris’FiancéDie? WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 5, 2022 I was talking to you about Sopranos on the way home from the Hornets game on 1/5/22.

Hornets crushed the Pistons. My KU boy Oubre scored 32 points. We started talking about Sopranos and you asked if Chris’ fiancé dies?

Finish the show, find me, and talk Sopranos to me. You got off at New Bern.

Pg. 20 - JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022

UNDERCURRENT COFFEE TooShyToSayHi FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2021 You came in ready to work but you immediately caught my attention while you were in line for coffee. I smiled and as you walked by the second time and our eyes met. You smiled back and looked at me as if you wanted to say hi but I was with a group of friends. You were not wearing a ring and I told my friend to give you my number as I was too shy to say hi. She, in fact, didn’t – so here I am. Hoping you see this and will return the connection.

MALLARD CREEK TheMinivan MONDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2021 You drove a yellow car and flashed “I love you” in sign language at me at a stoplight. I assumed you liked one of my bumper stickers, and wanted to know which one. Was really wanting to know what prompted this which made my day- I’m hoping it was a specific sticker. Then I noticed my sweater had come undone so maybe that was it after all.

ED’S TAVERN GirlAtBar THURSDAY, DECMEBER 2, 2021 You were with a group of your guy friends at Ed’s for trivia. I was sitting at the bar with a guy friend. We locked eyes a handful of times and I was too nervous to come up to you. You were wearing a baseball cap and had light colored eyes, and your table was near the emcee hosting trivia. If you’re single, let’s connect.

SANCTUARY IMPORTS CutieBuyingIncense EARLY NOVEMBER 2021 You were looking for a specific type of stone and the sales associate was helping you. Your energy was just refreshing and I could tell that you were cute despite being masked. I really appreciate a guy who’s into the metaphysical and spiritual stuff and I would have chatted with you but I was shy and didn’t want to interrupt.

LOST & FOUND NapkinBoo OPEN KITCHEN SATURDAY NIGHT, NOVEMBER 20, 2021 ShortHairSpaghettiGirl We locked eyes a couple times. I wrote my THURSDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2021 I was eating dinner w my family and you were number on a napkin and gave it to you and told a waitress and you saw me and winked at me you to text me. Did you lose the napkin? and then we smiled at each other every time you walked by and then as we were leaving I complimented your blue hair.

FEB 2 - FEB 8

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You’re eager to take on that new opportunity opening up as January gives way to February. Now all you need to do is resist quitting too early. Do your best to stay with it.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Put that restless surge to good use this week by preparing your winter-weary home for spring. Also, be more flexible about accepting a workplace change.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Doff a bit of that careful, conservative outlook and let your brave Bovine self take a chance on meeting that new challenge. You could be surprised at how well you do.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Your well-known ability to be patient is challenged as you wait for more news about a promising opportunity that could lead you to a new career path.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You might not want to return to the more serious tasks facing you.

But you know it’s what you must do. Cheer up.

Something more pleasant will soon occupy your time.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A setback in your travel plans could prove to be a blessing in disguise. Use this extra time to help close a growing gap between you and a family member.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) As you dutifully tidy your end-of-the-month tasks, your fun self emerges to urge you to do something special: A trip (or a cruise, maybe?) could be just what you need.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Don’t let a sudden sense of separation between you and your spouse or partner go unchallenged. It’s important to make a strong effort to clear things up.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Your achievements are admirable as you close out the month with a roar.

Now you can treat yourself to some well-earned time off for fun with family or friends. (Or both!)

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Use the information you recently received to make some longdeferred changes regarding a personal situation.

Continue to exercise financial restraint.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Be sure you know the facts before you assume someone is holding back on your project. Try to open your mind before you give someone a piece of it.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) That new responsibility you’re now considering could lead to many opportunities. But be sure you have all the facts before you agree to take it on.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) You might feel comfortable in your familiar surroundings, but it might be time to venture into something new.

There’s a challenge out there that’s just right for you.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A friend might try to advise you against a potentially risky move. Ultimately, the decision is yours, but hear him or her out before you decide.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Your love of things that are new gets a big boost as you encounter a situation that opens up new and exciting vistas. How far you go with it depends on you.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You might feel justified in demanding an apology, but it might be wiser to settle things so that today’s adversary doesn’t become tomorrow’s enemy.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) That recent workplace shift might not seem to be paying off as you expected. But be patient. There are changes coming that could make a big difference.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Good news: Expect a more positive aspect to dominate your personal and professional lives. Someone close to you seeks your counsel.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) While few can match the Goat’s fiscal wizardry, you still need to be wary in your dealings. There might be a problem you should know about sooner rather than later.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) A disappointment can turn into a learning experience. Now, at least, you know what not to do. Meanwhile, expect more options to open up.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Easy does it when it comes to love and all the other good things in life. Don’t try to force them to develop on your schedule. Best to let it happen naturally.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) What goes around comes around, as a friend from the past returns a favor. Don’t be timid about accepting it with good grace. You deserve it.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A surprise decision by someone you trust causes some stormy moments. But a frank discussion explains everything, and helps save a cherished relationship.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Your spiritual strength helps you deal with a family member’s problem. Expect some difficulties, but stay with it until it’s ultimately resolved.

BORN THIS WEEK: Sometimes you forget to take care BORN THIS WEEK: You can observe people and situations of yourself, because you’re so busy caring for others. But with absolute honesty. You’d be a fine social worker, you wouldn’t have it any other way. psychoanalyst or member of the clergy.

2022 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022 - Pg. 21

No Plastic Bags ONLY RECYCLE THESE SIX ITEMS

right!

Recycle Don’t JUST Recycle,

Trivia Test Answers: 1. 24 2. A type of bat 3. Mediterranean Sea 4. A pelican 5. Oceanic Airlines 6. Abraham Lincoln 7. Mjolnir 8. Japan 9. 1989 10. Atmospheric pressure

PG.19 PUZZLE ANSWERS

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

SAVAGE LOVE ROOTING AROUND Take your time up there

BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a heterosexual cisgender male who loves prostate stimulation. I discovered it later in life, but it’s been a staple for the last 15 years. I’m worried I’m pushing the envelope too much and need your advice. Lately, the last six months or so, I will have an orgasm that’s so intense I have pain just to the right of the base of my penis & balls immediately afterwards. If I push a finger in toward the center of my body, it’s tender. It goes away after a few minutes, but sometimes my right ball remains sensitive. I’ve even taken an ibuprofen to lessen the pain and I’ve had a prostate exam when it’s happening and I do selfexams of my testicles regularly, and I’ve noticed no changes. Usually my next orgasm is normal, and there’s no pain or sensitivity afterwards. As I said, though, it happens after intense sessions with a lot of prostate stimulation. While I’ve been practicing butt stuff for a long time, I feel as though I’ve only perfected it in the last year or so. I should also state that my sessions last up to two hours, and I’m erect during most of that time. I obviously don’t want to hurt myself, and I don’t think I am, but it’s a concern. It’s very hard to stop something that feels so incredibly good. I’m a little uncomfortable talking with my urologist because he treats me like a long-lost uncle. At our first visit, I told him very directly that my father had prostate cancer and I really wanted him to take his time with the exam and to really make sure all is well with my prostate. I added that the last exam I got from my primary care physician didn’t last long enough to feel very accurate and encouraged my urologist to take as much time as he wanted up there. He did not. Hoping you can help me out.

Pg. 22 - JAN 26 - FEB 9, 2022

PAIN AROUND BALLS CONCERNING

“I’ve never had a patient specifically say they wanted me to ‘take my time’ with a prostate exam,” said Dr. Ashley Winter, a board-certified urologist in Portland, Oregon. “But on numerous occasions, I’ve had a patient say, ‘Wow, that was way more detailed of a prostate exam than my primary care doctor did.’ And generally, that comment is meant as a ‘thank you,’ as in, ‘thank you for being detail-oriented.’”

To be perfectly honest, PABC, I shared your letter with Dr. Winter because I suspected the request you made — take your time up there, doc — might’ve been the reason your doctor rushed through that prostate

exam. Dr. Winter assures me that was unlikely.

“I understand when someone wants their doctor to do a thorough exam,” said Dr. Winter. “A detailed exam shows the clinician is actually intent on collecting information about their body apart from lab tests and imaging studies. The patient feels ‘seen.’ Or touched. You get my point.”

But just as a prostate exam that ends quickly isn’t evidence a doctor is worried a patient might be perving, an exam that ends quickly also isn’t evidence a doctor isn’t being thorough.

“Some patients have a very ‘high-riding prostate,’ for example, and that’s difficult to feel except for the apex, or the tip, of the prostate,” said Dr. Winter. “And I have long fingers! In those cases, I will probably do a quick in-and-out because taking longer would just involve me massaging the anus with no specific information being gathered.”

There’s nothing wrong with massaging an anus for the sake of massaging an anus, of course, but no one needs to go to med school and/or to the doctor for that.

But while I had her on the phone, I asked Dr. Winter again if some people do go to the doctor for that.

“In extremely rare instances patients are manipulative or fetishize their exams, but this is extremely uncommon,” said Dr. Winter. “And while I can’t rule out the possibility that the urologist who saw PABC was ‘weirded out’ by his comments, it seems more likely that PABC is projecting that on to his doctor. There is so much shame around ‘butt stuff’ and so I can easily see how this happens.” (It’s also possible that I’m the one doing the projecting here, as I was the one who raised the issue.)

That said, while intentional perving is rare, some people do get aroused during exams.

“Unintended genital responses — whether erection, or prostatic secretion during a rectal exam — are normal and occur on occasion,” said Dr. Winter. “It is the role of any self-respecting sex-positive clinician to acknowledge that these things are normal and move on. But it’s super uncommon and when it happens, the patient is usually stressed out and very apologetic about it.”

As for your problem — sensitivity around the base of your penis after one of your extended butt-play JO sessions — Dr. Winter thinks you might need a different sort of exam altogether.

“It sounds like what he’s having is a pelvic floor muscle spasm,” said Dr. Winter. “People tense and contract muscles in their pelvis — muscles at the base of penis — during periods of prolonged stimulation.

He’s not doing anything wrong, and he doesn’t have to stop, but he might want to take a warm bath after. And if it’s too uncomfortable or gets worse, he should ask to be referred for a pelvic floor exam and possible pelvic-floor physical therapy.”

Follow Dr. Ashley Winter on Twitter @AshleyGWinter.

There’s a long-running controversy among the Adult Baby/Diaper Lover (ABDL) community about the long-term impacts of continuously wearing and using diapers. Some argue that adult babies may or may not become a bedwetter and/ or incontinent from continual diaper use. The ABDLs who claim to have been successfully “unpotty trained” are loudly decried as liars by other members of their community. Naturally, there aren’t a lot of medical studies on this (there aren’t any), and I’m not going to ask my family doctor.

Can you figure this out?

IN NAPPIES CANCELS OUT NOCTURIA

this one through.

If one day a year we blurt out our secrets — affairs and crushes and secret second families included — the result would probably look less like National Coming Out Day and more like The Purge. And since most people regard breaking up on an annual holiday as a needless and avoidable cruelty, people who confess to affairs or no longer being in love on International Come-Out-of-theCloset Day will not be seen as courageous truth-tellers, MARCH, but as inconsiderate assholes. It’s fine to dump someone, people fall out of love, people have affairs.

But no one thinks it’s okay to dump someone — or to share a secret that forces someone to dump you — on Thanksgiving or Christmas or Valentine’s Day. Because then the person whose heart you stomped on winds up being reminded every year when that holiday inevitably rolls around. So, for the same reason it wouldn’t be okay to blurt out terrible secrets on the holidays we already have, it wouldn’t be okay to blurt them out on a day dedicated to blurting out terrible secrets.

Nope.

Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage; send questions to mail@savagelove.net; columns, podcasts, I’m a 74-year-old straight male. I don’t have books, merch and more at www.savage.love! a problem for you. Instead, I am writing to share an idea with you with potential benefit to society.

But, unlike you, I don’t have the means to spread the news. Based on the success of your “It Gets Better” Project, you seem like the perfect person to publicize it. My idea and my proposal to you is this: International Come-Out-of-the-Closet Day. It would include coming out about your sexual orientation but not be limited to sexual orientation. It would include all long-suppressed “secrets,” including affairs, crushes, no longer being in love with your spouse, or anything else a person might have kept hidden. I even have a suggestion for when to celebrate International Come-Out-of-the-Closet Day: March 4. The slogan would be “March Forth on March Fourth!” What do you think?

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We already have a National Coming Out Day (NCOD), MARCH, when closeted queer people everywhere are encouraged — if they can do so safely — to come out to their families, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. NCOD is not a new thing; it’s taken place on October 11 every year since 1988. And while I appreciate the spirit of your proposal — let’s all get those long-suppressed secrets off our chests — I’m not sure you’ve thoroughly thought

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NOT YOUR MOMMA’S GOAL SET TING It’s about more than Dry January

BY KATIE GRANT As humans, we feel it is important to set attainable goals for the new year. We use goals to better ourselves and as a tool for connection. Think about it: How many conversations did you have with friends, families and co-workers about plans for the new year? My team even used goal setting as an icebreaker at work during our monthly meeting. It was a fun and interactive way to turn a typically passive practice into a motivational conversation piece.

Discussing goals within a group setting can be a helpful process — it helps clarify personal goals or career path. By having a better understanding of what you want to achieve, you’ll also understand where to focus your efforts. Note: This also highlights distractions that can potentially derail you!

Drink more water. Drink less booze. Do more yoga. Eat more vegetables. This is what my personal goal setting looks like year after year, but New Year’s resolutions as we know them didn’t always look this way.

According to History.com, the Babylonians were the first to make these resolutions approximately 4,000 years ago. Their new year began in March, once the crops were planted. It was then that they also made promises to the pagan gods to pay their debts and return anything borrowed — the precursor to our New Year’s resolutions. If the Babylonians were true to their word, their gods would view them favorably. Otherwise, it was a situation no one wanted to experience.

Fast forward four millennia.

I recently attended a virtual goal-setting exercise via Zoom, where the only person I have to worry about disappointing when I don’t meet said goals is myself. The Beauty Boost hosted the virtual event, titled Not Your Mama’s Goal Setting, an interactive online workshop that created a space for women to feel healthy, empowered, and beautiful. They focused on what healthy means for each person by offering retreats, life-development coaching, health coaching, and sweat sessions, among other things, with many of these available virtually (I guess we can thank the pandemic for a few things in terms of accessibility, though it’s a shame it took a deadly plague to make it happen).

Elevating goal setting beyond a solo practice to a collective one, Not Your Mama’s Goal Setting was an evening to cultivate, connect, prioritize and organize intentions for the new year. Suppose you are a regular

follower of my self-help adventures around the city.

In that case, you already know I’m constantly seeking modalities to help me bloom into my best self. Not Your Mama’s Goal Setting was the perfect way to dig deeper, providing cues to look beyond my typical resolutions and visualize who I want to be in this world.

Our facilitator provided us with a digital workbook and on-screen visuals because, let’s be honest, without a visual aid, Zoom sessions can be a snoozefest. The first topic of conversation: the habit loop. Our coach taught us the most effective way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a new one. For example, if you are trying to cut back on workday drinking (or drinking altogether), instead of coming home and pouring your favorite adult beverage, try replacing that experience of relaxation with a hot bath and pajamas. Habits are all about psychology! Our brain uses a lot of energy for a repetitive action, which transitions it from conscious to the unconscious mind, thus making it a habit. I love brain science!

Another key takeaway is “habit stacking.” I learned about this trick on a podcast recently, so not only was I learning about making habits stick, I was also kneedeep in the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, in which you learn an obscure piece of information, word, or phrase only to see it again somewhere else. But back to habit stacking; it is an accessible concept because you essentially take an existing habit and create a new cueroutine-reward cycle right after it. For example, if you want to floss your teeth more, do it right after brushing them, and voila! There’s your new habit.

Another key takeaway: Don’t overwhelm your brain. No one is making you set resolutions but yourself, so be kind. Start with smaller goals, because small actions are more sustainable and yield bigger results because they are easier for the brain to automate.

Rewarded behaviors are repeated behaviors!

As we set goals for the new year and access our life’s trajectory, it’s important to remember that we cannot expect change if we keep doing what we’ve always done. We need to do something drastically different.

And with that, I will leave you with a quote from Jim Rohn to inspire you along your goal setting journey: “It’s not the blowing of the wind that determines our destination; it’s the set of the sail.”

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