Queen City Nerve - March 19, 2025

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ARTS: Elizabeth Bradford depicts vanishing nature ◊ PG. 7
MUSIC: Sam on Someday puts live music on rotation ◊ PG. 9
FOOD: Chef Maria Kemp gives culinary spin to DEI training ◊ PG. 10
NERVE ENDINGS: Don’t touch my kid’s hair ◊ PG. 14

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NEWS & OPINION

FEATURE STORY

STANDING THEIR GROUND

Community members resist ‘Cop City’ construction in Matthews

When the police publicly murdered George Floyd in May 2020, the slogan “Defund the Police” became a rallying cry for systemic change within law enforcement.

While conservatives and law enforcement advocates have since pointed to the slogan to excuse shortcomings by police or rising crime rates where applicable, police budgets have in fact increased almost universally across the country, including in Mecklenburg County.

Capitalizing on this windfall, law enforcement departments in recent years have invested millions of dollars into large-scale training facilities, known as “Cop Cities.”

According to a report published by researcher Renee Johnston on Substack, as of Feb. 1, law enforcement departments have planned, built or are currently constructing more than 80 police training facilities across the country since 2020.

Locally, a new “public safety training facility” is in the works in Mecklenburg County, planned for the property surrounding Central Piedmont Community College’s (CPCC) Levine campus in Matthews after Hendrick Automotive Group gifted the college around 23 acres of land near the campus in June 2024.

CPCC simultaneously announced it will construct a new training facility for law enforcement, fire and rescue, EMS, forensics, detention, and telecommunication staff on the land. With the news of widespread arrests during protests of a similar facility in Atlanta the previous year fresh in their mind, local activists quickly pegged the planned facility as “Cop City Charlotte.”

Cop City Charlotte is split between two parcels of land on either side of the Levine campus. The main facility along Campus Ridge Road will encompass 24 acres northeast of campus and include an outdoor scenario training village, an indoor

firing range and indoor fire-and-rescue area with specialized equipment.

The other facility off CPCC Lane to the west of campus will be a driver training course, taking up 14 acres of existing Central Piedmont property.

After becoming aware of CPCC’s plans, students and community members opposed to the idea launched Stop Cop City CLT, a decentralized movement that began with an Instagram page, where they post any available information about the planned development, questioning the school’s involvement and the need for the facility.

Stop Cop City CLT drummed up concern from folks who oppose the project for a wide range of reasons, explained Del Davis, a community member with the movement.

Some look at Cop City Charlotte and other facilities like it through an abolitionist lens, condemning the militarization of police training and acknowledging that the law enforcement system is based in white supremacy, created only to protect the property of the richest citizens.

Others are opposed to hosting a shooting range on campus or have concerns from an ecological perspective, pointing out that the gifted land contains trees over 160 years old and serves as an important monarch butterfly migration site.

“It was a natural talking point in various movement spaces,” Davis said. “There’s been a growing sense of urgency in activist spaces … to mobilize people against this and make sure that people understand that this is what the school, the county [and] CMPD are up to.”

Davis said initial mobilization was slow because the plans for Cop City have proceeded in secret for months.

Stop Cop City CLT has called on Central Piedmont president Dr. Kandi Deitemeyer to

address concerns from the opposition, a request she has continuously avoided in public forums.

Organizers with Stop Cop City CLT who spoke to Queen City Nerve said the answers given by administration thus far have been artificial and do not encompass the full breadth of concern a Cop City would have on the campus.

“I think literally any acknowledgment would be better than where we are now,” CPCC student Noah Newman said. “[There’s been] no attempt whatsoever to even listen to student voices.”

What we know about Charlotte’s Cop City

CPCC officials have responded to two concerns repeatedly raised by community members: the presence of a firing range on campus and the clearcutting of trees where Cop City will be built.

Central Piedmont spokesperson Catherine Butler insisted there will be multiple layers of security within the training facility, including the firing range, so as not to allow unchecked guns onto school grounds.

She also said the school will preserve 20% of the trees on the northeastern section and half on the western section.

Butler told Queen City Nerve that the public safety training facility is a project Mecklenburg County needs to support the growth in our community and region.

“Many of our first responders in the county have to actually travel to other counties or other states to get the required training that they need because we don’t have enough facilities to support the number of required trainings at this point,” she said. “So we want to make sure that our county is well positioned with those facilities.”

Mecklenburg County Sheriff Garry McFadden said the Mecklenburg County Sheriff’s Office (MCSO) does not have adequate classroom space, as it is the largest sheriff’s department in the Carolinas. The department’s firing range is also outdated, he insisted.

McFadden said his department wanted to build its own training facility and update its firing range but the county saw fit to fund the public safety training facility instead. Mecklenburg County’s Public Information Department did not comment on why this decision was made.

Along with outdated training spaces, there is a shortage of emergency responders in Mecklenburg County, Butler said. The full initiative, which is called Community Lifeline, is one of the largest workforce development projects in the region, she said. The goal is to have a centralized area where fire, EMS and law enforcement can participate in cross collaborative training.

The facility will provide mental health and wellness training; opportunities to train with virtual reality, drones and other new technologies; and proactive conflict-resolution techniques.

McFadden said he would like to provide citizens a chance to participate in and watch police training as it happens so they understand what officers can and can’t do.

He also hopes the facility adequately represents departments from other Mecklenburg County municipalities along with the larger CMPD and

MCSO to ensure collaborative training and learning.

“Every police shooting, what do you hear? ‘They need more training.’ Every incident with law enforcement, what do you say? ‘They need more training,’” McFadden said.

“We’ve been in a lot of the planning development phases trying to understand renderings and buildings, and also working with the agencies to understand what they need in a training facility,” Butler said. “Because we don’t want to build it in a vacuum and then it not be helpful to those who are actually in the field on a daily basis.”

McFadden said CPCC has been in contact with MCSO to discuss goals for the facility. The only people left out of the conversation, it seems, are students and community members.

Davis agreed that police should be better trained but through deescalation training and police reform, adding that law enforcement should reimagine policies by centering social workers, psychiatric nurses and public safety officers without the presence of firearms.

“The school is somehow linking themselves with law enforcement in a way that has nothing to do with education for students and that, to me, is one of the questions that they keep dodging,” Davis said.

Along with Cop City, CPCC is planning to expand its programming and curriculum around Basic Law Enforcement Training (BLET) and emergency medical science, moving its BLET programs to Levine campus.

“We imagine both programs will see expanded growth — the facility will largely support the continuing education programming, but … we’re also expanding curriculum programming as well,” Butler said.

She added that the facility should be fully operational by 2028, though some of the programs, like the virtual reality training, will be introduced earlier in phases.

Who is Cop City for?

CPCC’s BLET program comprises curriculum for students pursuing a degree/going into the field and continuing education programs for people already working in the field to do additional training.

Butler said there are around 700 students currently enrolled in BLET, with 1,600-1,700 enrolled on the continuing education side.

In CPCC’s 2024-25 academic year, more than 30,000 students enrolled across all programs. In a November press release from CPCC announcing the record-breaking enrollment, the school said it has strategically expanded programs to prepare students for high-demand careers including nursing, electrical line work, automotive systems, skilled trades and artificial intelligence.

The Levine campus itself is known for its focus on automotive technology, with the Joe Hendrick Center for Automotive Technology building – made possible by a gift from the Hendrick family – serving more than 3,000 students each year.

The campus also houses degree programs in Nurse Aid and Medical Assisting along with multiple Corporate and Continuing Education non-degree and non-transfer courses and programs.

Stop Cop City members question why CPCC is

ANNIE KEOUGH
Courtesy of CPCC
Renderings of a planned public safety training facility at CPCC’s Levine campus in Matthews.

investing millions into a facility only designated for such a small student population.

“Only a tiny, tiny percentage of students are people who would utilize this and yet it will fundamentally change the culture of the campus,” Davis said before pointing out the generational differences between those in charge of the project and those who will have to live with it.

“This is the school shooting generation; you can’t simultaneously train students from kindergarten to community college to be prepared [at] anytime to be murdered in class and then also be like, ‘But don’t you feel safe when there’s guns everywhere?’”

The area allocated for Cop City holds a tragic past. On Oct. 19, 2022, 16-year-old dual-enrolled CPCC student Gavin Dorothy died by suicide in the woods where the new facility will stand. Davis said the death is “a specter” that hangs over that campus and in those woods.

In September 2024, there was an active shooter scare resulting in a Levine campus lockdown. Matthews Police Department announced that a 17-year-old CPCC student was charged with making a false report concerning mass violence on education property hours after the incident occurred.

Butler told Queen City Nerve that CPCC takes student safety on campus very seriously and has created additional layers of security within the training facility. There will be a badge system to access the facility separate from other educational buildings at Levine campus.

When authorized personnel enter the firing range, any training guns will be behind another layer of security and will be monitored by law enforcement.

As of now, Butler said only in-service law

school, Newman pointed out.

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

“There’s not really any healthy way for a space that’s supposed to be safe for learning to co-exist with firearms,” they said. “Now, beyond that, with the current [presidential] administration, the current treatment of queer people and people of color, I don’t trust that that’s entirely safe.”

Davis hopes that CPCC might abandon the project altogether and leave the woods intact, but suggested that, if the college must build something and clear that land, they could instead use it to address several needs on campus that students have pointed out for years.

There are programs like dental hygiene, Certified Nursing Assistant program certifications and Registered Nurse pathways that are bottlenecked by facility or budget constraints, Davis said.

Davis also mentioned a growing number of community colleges experimenting with oncampus dormitories to address their student’s housing needs.

“Obviously there’s a need for some programs that would benefit our community to expand,” they said. “I would like to see them take a hard assessment of what to do with $75 million and a land gift and apply it logically to their role as a school in the community, instead of pretending to be a police academy for profit.”

The Board of County Commission’s (BOCC) Fiscal Year 2025 adopted budget includes a total allocation of $73.4 million to go toward the planning and construction of Cop City.

In June 2024, the BOCC approved a total of $99 million of funding for CPCC capital projects starting between fiscal year 2025-2029. Nearly $40 million was allocated for the first phase of the

enforcement or those training for law enforcement programs will be allowed to use the firing range. In-service officers are able to carry their guns into the facility but training weapons will have strict protocols and procedures governing where they will be locked away or checked out for use in the indoor range.

“The firing range is not my concern, not whatsoever, not even the least concerned about the firing range,” McFadden said. “No, not at all.” Regardless of how secure each weapon is kept, students will still be hearing gunshots while in

the lowest priority.

Despite clear resident input, the county allocated all five of the highest priorities a combined $36.2 million, less than half of the initial funds given to the training facility.

In total, Mecklenburg County has committed $116 million to the construction of Cop City. Butler said each phase of this project will go out for bid to determine the cost.

The overall project has a budget of $118 million, most of which has already been appropriated by the county, with the other $2 million committed through private funding, Butler said.

How Atlanta’s response influenced Charlotte

Cop City in Atlanta became a focal point for the Stop Cop City movement due to the intense state repression against those who opposed it.

Georgia State Troopers hot and killed an environmental activist and community organizer named Manuel Esteban Paez Terán, also known as Tortuguita, during protests at the site in January 2023. In March of that year, police arrested 23 people near the site, charging them with domestic terrorism. Then in September 2023, 61 people were indicted on racketeering and domestic terrorism charges for their participation in the protests.

The violent reaction by law enforcement in Atlanta has influenced the way community members have responded to plans for Charlotte’s Cop City.

“The powers that be in Atlanta knew that the fight right there was a bellwether for the national fight,” Davis said. “And they thought, ‘Let’s vilify the reasonable people who are opposed to this and let’s bring the hammer down,’ and they have done that.”

filmed the women on their way out of CPCC’s Disher building, took pictures of their license plates, told them they were now banned from campus and followed them in a golf cart until they left campus. One woman is a part-time CPCC student.

Queen City Nerve did not witness any antagonistic behavior from either woman that would warrant a ban or escort. One security guard said he “didn’t know” why the women were banned. The two women were not given an answer either.

One public attendee believed the board took any discussion of Cop City off the public agenda and moved it to the closed session.

Another instance documented on Stop Cop City’s Instagram showed a Jan. 28 Q&A with Dr. Dietemeyer at Queens University. In response to a CPCC student asking if Deitemeyer will be holding any public hearings to hear students’ concerns, Deitemeyer said she will not.

“I do not have to hold a public hearing because the money has already been appropriated and the project has already been approved,” Deitemeyer said. The students were later asked to leave the forum.

Despite Deitemeyer’s insistence, Cop City is not unavoidable, organizers insist. In the CPCC and Hendrick Automotive Gift Agreement document obtained by Stop Cop City, it states that the agreement may be modified, altered or amended at any time by the written consent of both parties.

The agreement also states that if there is no development within seven years after the closing date, CPCC is able to sell the property.

Davis and other Stop Cop City members have asked CPCC students to contact their administrators, Matthews residents to contact town commissioners, and Mecklenburg County residents to contact county representatives to ask them to choose another option for the land.

training facility and more than $36 million for the second phase.

The county’s annual Resident Budget Priority Survey, created to gather resident responses regarding service priorities, service needs, and the extent to which they felt the county met those needs, identified five areas as the highest priorities for investment: access to affordable housing, behavioral health resources, healthy food programs, services for senior adults, and workforce development services.

Safety and security at county facilities was rated

Any Stop Cop City members that have asked administration for details about the Matthews project have been met with vague answers, outright refusals and intimidation.

At the end of a public CPCC Board of Trustees meeting that Queen City Nerve attended on March 12, Deitemeyer asked if there were any questions and despite a community member voicing their interest in asking questions, the board promptly moved to a closed session.

After minimal, quiet discussion among other community attendees, two Black women left the meeting early only minutes apart. Campus security

“I feel like there’s this sense of inevitability, like they’re just going to build it, and I don’t want to accept that,” Davis said. “I don’t think it’s necessary.”

There will be more information regarding the project in the coming weeks, Butler said.

Sources associated with Stop Cop City CLT chose to remain anonymous for fear of retribution; their names have been changed.

AKEOUGH@QCNERVE.COM

Photo by Annie Keough
Dr. Kandi Deitemeyer (standing) at a CPCC Board of Directors meeting on March 12.
Courtesy of CPCC
Portions of the development will be built on both sides of the campus.

LIFELINE

TASTE OF THE MINT: FOOD FOR THOUGHT ART TOUR

March 20 • 3:30 p.m. • Mint Museum Uptown, 500 S. Tryon St. • $50-$60 • mintmuseum.org

Pairings of food and art boast a long, illustrious history. Caravaggio’s “Young Sick Bacchus” depicts the jaundiced-looking Roman god of wine clutching a bunch of grapes. Cezanne’s “Still Life with Apples and Pears” is a study in perspective of … well, apples and pears. The Mint Museum’s Food for Thought Art Tour, billed as a celebration of the “intersection of fine dining and fine art,” is yet another pairing. After patrons partake in a curated food and wine tasting at Uptown French restaurant Coquette, they’ll feast their eyes as they undertake an intimate museum educator-led tour of select works from the Mint Uptown’s permanent collection.

OPERATION ART SHOW

March 21 • 6 p.m. • Goodyear Arts, 301 Camp Rd. • $50 - $60 • goodyeararts.com

Winthrop University Gallery Assistant and art student Radio McAda curates “Operation: An Exploration in Corporeal Transmutation.” The show, which launches March 21 and runs through March 29, features art by Winthrop students and recent graduates. Spotlighted artists include sculptor, ceramicist and painter Claire Kirkley; multidisciplinary painter, printmaker, filmmaker and photographer Hannah Moore; Belize-born interdisciplinary artist and librarian Nico Sweet; fine arts major with a concentration in expanded media Zoe Gumangan; interdisciplinary artist and art teacher Rachel Burkhart; and painter and sculptor Jason Lindsay, who says he creates works that explore “the feelings of doom many of us have been experiencing this past year.”

MARC MARON

March 22 • 7:30 p.m. • Knight Theater, 430 S. Tryon St. • $64.28 - $88.95 • blumenthalarts.org Back in 2020 comedian, podcaster and actor Marc Maron noted one of the biggest threats facing humanity. “Evangelicals … scare me,” he said. “In order for Jesus to come back, the world has to end. That means there’s about 90 to 100 million people that are pretty excited about it. And a lot of those people are in legislative positions. Is there any way they’re crafting policy to accelerate the prophecy?” When he’s not speaking uncomfortable truths in jest, Maron hosts his landmark podcast, WTF with Marc Maron, where he’s interviewed icons like Barack Obama, Keith Richards and Robin Williams and has regularly (if hopelessly) raised the red flag about the damage being done to the culture and society as a whole by his alpha-bro counterparts like Joe Rogan.

WORLD WATER DAY: BUCKETS OF FUN

March 22 • 11:30 a.m. • Town Brewing Co., 800 Grandin Rd. • Free • townbrewing.com

World Water Day is an annual United Nations observance that highlights the importance of fresh water and advocates for the sustainable management of water resources. This year’s focus is on glacier preservation, so why not crack open a sustainably-crafted cold one at Town Brewing? After all, Renew Brew is the only beer brewed in Charlotte using recycled water. Buckets of Fun also offers a family-friendly obstacle course designed to entertain and educate all ages about water conservation. Also on tap are water-themed prizes and giveaways for participants of all ages, brewery tours where adults can get a behind-the-scenes look at our sustainable brewing process and more.

MEXICAN MODERNISM: A MUSICAL JOURNEY WITH VIRGINIA JARAMILLO

March 23 • 6 p.m. • Bechtler Museum of Modern Art, 430 S. Tryon St. • $25 - $30 • bechtler.org

This concert explores the dynamic sounds of contemporary Mexican composers in conjunction with the Bechtler Museum’s exhibition Virginia Jaramillo: Principle of Equivalence. The first MexicanAmerican woman to exhibit abstract works in a US museum and the only woman included in one of the first racially-integrated shows in the States in 1971, Jarmillio is a groundbreaking artist who defies categorization. Complementing the artist’s iconic abstract curvilinear paintings, her handmade paper works, and a selection of recent paintings, the musical program highlights the genre-blending compositions of Arturos Márquez, Gabriela Ortiz and Manuel Ponce, which merge traditional Mexican elements with modern classical music.

FAYE, FARSEEK, NO CULTURE, TOURNEFORTE, SUNSHOWER

March 25 • 8 p.m. • The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road • $15-$20 • themilestone.club

Fronted by two songwriters, bassist Sarah Blumenthal and guitarist Susan Plante, Charlotte’s altrock powerhouse Faye thrives on the sublime tension between Plante’s rants/ruminations about mental health and Blumenthal’s dissections of relationships. Coupling soaring punk rock with trumpet and banjo, Georgia’s Farseek crafts political prayers like “Pride” asking us to intercede against fascism in lieu of distant gods. Alabama’s No Culture crafts noisy yet dreamy shoegaze. With the ringing/stabbing “Love Letters,” Columbia’s Tourneforte sifts through the woodsmoke of torched emotions. Drawing members from across North Carolina, Sunshower trades in catchy, selfdescribed “artsy emo nonsense/dream core/screamo gaze” tunes.

TYLER, THE CREATOR

March 26 • 7:30 p.m. • Spectrum Center, 333 E Trade St. • $235 and up • spectrumcentercharlotte.com

Riding crunchy rock power chords before dissolving into punchy R&B horns, Tyler, the Creator’s latest single “Noid” dissects the paranoia that comes with success: “Can’t even buy a home in private/ Home invasions got my brothers dyin’...” The Grammy-winning alt rapper born Tyler Okonma is touring his 2024 Chromakopia LP, which features “Noid.” Reviews suggest that the show follows a three-act character arc, with Tyler removing his defensive/offensive Phantom of the Opera/St. Chroma’s mask above the crowd before playing his old hits and circling back to Chromakopia songs with a sense of pride.

CANDLELIGHT: NEO SOUL FAVORITES

March 28 • 6:45 & 8:45 p.m. • The Barrel Room at Triple C Brewing, 2832 Griffith St. • $38-$53 • tinyurl.com/NeoSoulCandlelight

Charlotte Strings, a professional ensemble that plays weddings, parties, corporate functions and private events, has long been a lucrative side hustle for the Queen City’s classical musicians. The Candlelight series brings these polished players to public venues awash in the romantic gentle glow of, you guessed it, candlelight. The Barrel Room performance casts a wide net of artists and tunes under the banner of neo soul including Prince’s “Purple Rain,” Sade’s “Smooth Operator,” Frank Ocean’s “Thinkin Bout You,” Erykah Badu’s “Tyrone” and Childish Gambino’s “Redbone.”

AQUALADS, FLAME TIDES, THE PINTOS

March 29 • 7:30 p.m. • Starlight on 22nd, 422 E. 22nd St. • Donations accepted • starlighton22nd.com

With fast, coiling twanging guitars and thundering drums, celebrated surf-rock guitar slingers Aqualads has explored its love for 1960s Dick Dale-style instrumentals since 1997. Charlotte’s groovy power duo Flame Tides (baritone guitarist/vocalist Mike McNeely and drummer/vocalist Hayley Moran) combines the attack of a blues-based hard-rock combo, with the ambitious melodic reach of psychedelic art rockers with bottom-heavy guitar riffs and nimble yet primal drums. Led by guitarist/vocalist Chris Edwards, The Pintos play a spate of eclectic rootsy rock covers by John Doe, Tom Waits, Burl Ives, Jeff Tweedy and Alejandro Escovedo, as well as Edwards’ originals.

SAINT JHN, HONEY BXBY

March 30 • 8 p.m. • Underground, 820 Hamilton St. • $53 • fillmorenc.com

Fusing hip-hop, house, punk and electronic music on singles like the percolating sidewanding “Glitching” and the gruff and moody “Poppin,” Guyanese-American rapper SAINt JHN is riding high on his genre-blurring February 2025 LP Festival Season, that for the most part captures the immersive feel of attending a music festival. Throughout the collection, the moods, sounds and themes make whiplash turns, often mid-tune. With beats indebted to Mobb Deeps’s “Quiet Storm” and a title that pays tribute to late rapper/singer Lisa Lopes, Honey Bxby’s “Left Eye” is a soulful R&B banger that celebrates women’s solidarity with plenty of playful “no fucks left to give” attitude.

Aqualads
Promotional photo 3/29
Faye
Photo courtesy of Faye 3/25

WHERE THE WILD THINGS GROW

Elizabeth Bradford’s paintings capture the vanishing wilderness next door

In paintings like “Weeds, Treadwell” Elizabeth Bradford celebrates untamed nature with a riot of bold acrylic paint, vibrant colors, intricate details and interlocking geometric shapes. The artist’s zoomed-in hyper focus imbues scenes we often overlook — creek beds, river banks and thickets of weeds — with a fragile alien beauty.

“Vivid, tangled, disorienting at times and wild,” is how Lia Rose Newman, director and curator of the Davidson College Art Galleries, describes the 23 large canvasses that comprise Warp Weft Water Weeds, a solo exhibition of Bradford’s recent work currently showing at Davidson College’s Van Every/ Smith Galleries through April 9.

Bradford’s familiar-looking yet otherworldly art is all the more striking because she paints from life — scenes she’s encountered while backpacking in the mountains of North Carolina and Virginia, or after stepping off the porch of her family farm, an island of green amid a sea of burgeoning development in Huntersville.

“The pace of development here is so intense,” Bradford says from her 90-year old farmhouse that her great-grandfather bought in 1890. “I’ve been told that 29,000 cars go past my house a day.” She’s heard of plans to widen Highway 73, which will bring the number of cars barreling past her property to 40,000.

Like many who appreciate the wild, Bradford also dreads climate change, the vanishing of undeveloped lands in towns like hers, and the

encroaching destruction of America’s national parks spearheaded by the venal Trump administration.

“My work comes from a pure place of grief for what we have lost, [and] fear for what we are continuing to lose,” Bradford says.

Ironically, being in that vanishing nature is one of the only antidotes to that grief and fear, she offers. In that way, her work acts as both therapy and archival documentation.

“[My] paintings are records of things that I consider cures for pain. If I’m really grieved and I go out into the wilderness, it just shrinks problems down to their proper scale, thrown up against the enormity of the wild world.”

Bradford studied art at a number of North Carolina schools: Randolph-Macon Woman’s College, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, UNC Charlotte, and Davidson College. She counts among her earliest influences the post impressionists and Georgia O’Keeffe.

“[O’Keeffe] was a woman artist when there were very few who were getting any … recognition,” Bradford notes. “I gravitated to her bridging of nature and abstraction.”

Through the years, Bradford’s preferred medium has shifted from colored pencils to gouache to acrylic paint.

“I moved to acrylic because it gave me more power, more range,” Bradford says. “I can work as big as I want. It’s fast-drying [and] you can go back over it 50,000 times. It’s the servant of the artist.”

Recently, Bradford’s inspirations have shifted to Black artists like painters Kehinde Wiley, Amy Sherald and Mickalene Thomas, sculptor Nick Cave and the Gee’s Bend quiltmakers

“The patterning [of Black art] fascinates me, that and the rhythm of it,” Bradford says. She’s also drawn to earth art, where people use bulldozers to make art out of the earth.

“The medium is the earth,” Bradford says.

Untamed places on gallery walls

“I always know what to title a piece” says Bradford, who is a writer as well as an artist. “But for this show, I was completely confounded.”

After Bradford tested several options, her daughter-in-law Su Barber, who would later design the program/book that accompanies the exhibit, suggested Warp Weft Water Weeds.

“The warp/weft refers to the relationship to weaving in [Bradford’s] work — overlapping vines and branches,” writes Newman.

As for the water and weeds in the title, they’re on ample display in several of the paintings in the exhibit.

“[Bradford’s] works like ‘Summer in the Pasture’ can feel somewhat disorienting, with their intricate layers of twisted, woven branches, grasses and leaves painted in a slightly unnatural palette of hot pink, bright yellow, neon orange and sky blue,” writes Newman in the Warp Weft Water Weeds book.

Bradford says her colors are deliberately exaggerated and pushed to extremes.

“It just makes the work more fun for me to make and more fun for people to look at,” she says.

The twisted branches that Newman notes in Bradford’s paintings are an example of the artist’s manipulation of geometry.

“I have become as interested in the negative spaces as I am in the positive spaces, and I give them equal emphasis,” Bradford says. “If you’re drawing a bare-limbed tree, everywhere the limbs fork, they form a triangle. If you think about each of those triangles as important geometric forms, that alters the way the picture gets read.”

Viewers are often struck by the size of Bradford’s paintings.

“Women, particularly from my generation, are not supposed to take up space and are not supposed to be outspoken,” says Bradford, who is 74. “I … realized late in life that I [would stop] following that cultural mandate. So, that’s why the scale.”

Attendees of the Van Every/Smith Galleries show will see 23 large-scale, colorful paintings arranged in a non-chronological pattern designed to help them move through it smoothly like so many creeks featured in Bradford’s work.

“It’s like looking out of 23 windows into nature,” Newman writes.

A haven for art, a message for the future

Bradford grew up not far from the family farm in her parents’ home in Huntersville. After graduating from Chapel Hill with a degree in English, she moved into the abandoned farm house in 1975.

“I grew up loving the house and felt drawn to it,” Bradford says. “It was quiet, beautiful and wellmaintained until my grandparents died, so I had great memories of it being a special place.”

Cattle and crops are still being raised on a portion of the family farm that was inherited by her brother, who also opened the Bradford General Store, now run by a family friend, on the property. Today Bradford paints in her studio in a renovated cotton barn on the farm. Although she has participated in artist residencies at Moulin à Nef in Auvillar, France; Skopart Foundation in Skopelos, Greece; and the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, she’s content to live out her life on the farm.

“I’m pretty rooted,” says Bradford, who has raised three sons on the farm. “I intend to stay here. I [also] intend to continue exploring, going to wonderful places all around the world and bringing those ideas and that visual stimulus back with me. It informs the way I look at the native land.”

She hopes that people who visit Warp Weft Water Weeds will come away with reverence for the land.

“I want people to be reminded of their inheritance,” Bradford says. “We are the very fortunate inheritors of a spectacular world, and I want people to realize that … we’re in charge of taking care of it.”

Newman notes that Bradford’s work, though inspired by environmental concerns, is comforting.

“I think people want to surround themselves with beauty right now,” Newman writes. “It’s not about putting our heads in the sand, but sitting in the gallery gives you the feeling of being immersed in nature.”

Newman cites research that has found that experiencing nature — even just through photos or paintings — is good for people’s mental health. At the same time, Bradford’s wild, weird and woven work does serve as a call to action.

“We could all back Greenpeace,” Bradford says. “We could stand up when the time comes for the National Forest to be deforested by the government. [Do] whatever you see in your world that can make something better, even if it’s small.”

There are millions of significant actions that can be taken to protect the precious wild, says Bradford, and every one of them makes a difference.

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

Artwork by Elizabeth Bradford
“Twenty-three Stream Crossings, Green”
Courtesy of the artist Elizabeth Bradford

SOUNDWAVE

WEDNESDAY

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Fred Heintz (Comet Grill)

Jordyn Zaino w/ Mariah Van Kleef, Cheap City, Jesus Is the Path to Heaven (The Milestone)

Josh Daniel, Jim Brock & Kerry Brooks (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)*

LATIN/WORLD

Sonido Gallo Negro w/ Peach Candy Nut Boys, Curiosidades de Bombrile, Zzzzaappp (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Amelia Day w/ Miki Fiki & The Wonderlands (Evening Muse)

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

Alex Jean (Neighborhood Theatre)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)* Open Hearts Open Minds Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

THURSDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Brave Baby w/ Wim Tapley & The Cannons, Jack Stepanian (Amos’ Southend)

Wilde Green w/ Crenshaw Pentecostal, Boy A/C, The Olde Guard (The Milestone)

Patois Counselors w/ Dunums, Zodiac Lovers (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Peter Case w/ Sid Griffin (Evening Muse)

FUNK/JAM BAND/REGGAE

Tropidelic w/ Tunnel Vision, Sons of Paradise (Neighborhood Theatre)

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)*

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Neil Carter (Comet Grill)

Kayla McKinney (Goldie’s)

COVER BANDS

We Got the Beat (Camp North End)

Just Fine (Mary J Blige tribute) (Middle C Jazz)

FRIDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Beef w/ Bridgeburner, Fit Check, Ratqueen (The Milestone)

Graveyard Boulevard, Come In, Travis!, Y’ALL’RE (Petra’s)

JAZZ/BLUES

Keiko Matsui (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Josh Ward (Amos’ Southend)

SATURDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Haymaker w/ Vehement, Alaya’s Curse, A Separate Piece (The Rooster)

Zed Hotel w/ Maddrey, Obi (Starlight on 22nd)

JAZZ/BLUES

Keiko Matsui (Middle C Jazz)

FUNK/JAM BANDS/REGGAE

RedrumSociety (Comet Grill)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Virtual Riot (Blackbox Theater)

The Army, The Navy w/ Aggie Miller (Evening Muse)

Digital Noir w/ DJ Spider, DJ Wunderbread (The Milestone)

Ultraviolet Sapphic Dance Party (Petra’s)

Gimme Gimme Disco (The Underground)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony Youth Orchestras Spring Concert (Belk Theater)

Charlotte Symphony Orchestra: Christof Perick (Belk Theater)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Ryan Trotti w/ Anna J (Goldie’s)

LATIN/WORLD

Los Amigos Invisibles (Neighborhood Theatre)

COVER BANDS

On the Border (Eagles tribute) (Amos’ Southend)

The Dirty Doors (Visulite Theatre)

SUNDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

MAR. 23

Strike the Tower w/ Venus Invictus, Fury 58 (The Milestone)

Archer OH w/ The Orderlys (Petra’s)

Noctus w/ Burial Joy, Brave New World, Mourning Lotus, Enemies and Allies (The Rooster)

JAZZ/BLUES

Steve Oliver (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Soul Sundays (Starlight on 22nd)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Judy Collins (Booth Playhouse)

Waylon Wyatt w/ gabrielle hope (Evening Muse)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Mike Strauss (Free Range Brewing) FAMILY

Ballantyne School of Music: Spring Jam ‘25 (Amos’ Southend) COVER BANDS

The Simon & Garfunkel Story (Knight Theater)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Josh Daniel, Jim Brock & Kerry Brooks (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)*

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Tyler, The Creator (Spectrum Center) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

CLT Bluegrass Allstars (Comet Grill)

Griffin House (Neighborhood Theatre)

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

Something GOD Loves: The Concertference Experience (Evening Muse)

Connor Price (The Fillmore) OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night (Goldie’s)

Still Crazy (Paul Simon tribute) (Middle C Jazz)

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)*

Open Hearts Open Minds Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

THURSDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Wheatus w/ Don’t Panic (Visulite Theatre) FUNK/JAM BANDS/REGGAE

Side Dish (Comet Grill)

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)*

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Todd Day Wait w/ A.P. Rodgers (Evening Muse)

Brenn! (Neighborhood Theatre)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Big Fun w/ Anella Herim (Goldie’s) COVER BANDS

Tia Durant: A Tribute to the Women of Soul (Middle C Jazz)

FRIDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Rick Wakeman (Booth Playhouse)

MAR. 27 MAR. 28

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)*

Between Two Trees w/ blankstate. (Evening Muse)

Wastoid w/ Tongues of Fire, White Beast, Eightball, Squeamish (The Milestone)

Noir Noir w/ Cassettiquette, Regence (Petra’s)

Pretoria w/ Nia J, Social Cig (Snug Harbor) Intervals (The Underground) EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE/FESTIVAL

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Colby Acuff w/ Jonathan Peyton (Coyote Joe’s)

Timothy Chandler Hicks w/ Emily June, Ma (Evening Muse)

LATIN/WORLD

Los Tigres del Norte (Ovens Auditorium)

Simba Baumgartner & Adrien Marco (Stage Door Theater)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Zac w/ QY, 2twenty1 (The Rooster)

SahBabii (The Underground)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Caleb Davis w/ Sam & Illia (Goldie’s)

EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE/FESTIVAL

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

SATURDAY JAN. 22

Lil Skritt w/ The Phantom Friends, Tony Wain & The Eastside Rotgutters (Snug Harbor)

Charlotte Symphony Orchestra: Christof Perick (Belk Theater)

COVER BANDS

Charlotte Does Chaka Khan (Booth Playhouse)

Enrage Against the Machine w/ Blvckhndz (Neighborhood Theatre)

The Chain (Fleetwood Mac tribute) w/ Eddie Bush (Visulite Theatre)

MONDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL Deftones (Spectrum Center)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)*

Faye w/ Farseek, No Culture, Tourneforte, Sunshower (The Milestone)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)*

WEDNESDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Tombstone Poetry w/ Motocrossed, Old Star, Idle County (The Milestone)

Sometime in February w/ Bridgeburner, Mindvac, Jordyn Zaino (Snug Harbor)

Chatham Rabbits w/ Joe Terrell (Neighborhood Theatre) Into the Fog (Primal Brewery)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Dom Kennedy (The Underground)

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

Luke Bower w/ King Kyote (Evening Muse)

JAZZ/BLUES

Spyro Gyra (Middle C Jazz)

Jackie Venson w/ Emanuel Wynter (Stage Door Theater)

LATIN/WORLD

Noor (Knight Theater)

COVER BANDS

Guardians of the Jukebox (Amos’ Southend)

John Violinist (Booth Playhouse)

Blake Anthony and The Campfire (Comet Grill) Badmotorfinger (Soundgarden tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

SUNDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Imminence (The Fillmore)

Your Neighbors w/ Dreamfone (Neighborhood Theatre) JAZZ/BLUES

Charlotte Blues Society: 32nd Birthday Celebration (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)

MCJ All Stars (Middle C Jazz)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

SAINt JHN (The Underground)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

Soul Sundays (Starlight on 22nd)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Alejandra Guzmán (Ovens Auditorium)

MONDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Tuft w/ Gusher (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

Papa Srapa (VisArt Video)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Brooks & Dunn (Spectrum Center) JAZZ/BLUES

Kim Scott (Middle C Jazz)

Keb’ Mo’ & Shawn Colvin (Ovens Auditorium) POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Daft Punk Night (Amos’ Southend)

Wilkinson (Blackbox Theater)

Austin Giorgio (Evening Muse) Gothstonia (The Rooster) CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

MercyMe Live 2025 (Bojangles Coliseum) COVER BANDS

Almost Classic w/ Caleb Davis (Goldie’s)

Mike Massé (Stage Door Theater)

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

East Viridian w/ Encre Noire, Dollhaver, Infinxty, Never

More Sincere (The Milestone)

Laniidae w/ Valoria, Redefind, Seasons (The Rooster)

Cancerslug w/ King Cackle, No Anger Control (Snug Harbor)

Aqualads w/ Flame Tides, The Pintos (Starlight on 22nd)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Papadosio w/ The Snozzberries (Blackbox Theater)

Rags & Riches (Evening Muse)

Laura Vinson w/ Rod Fiske (Goldie’s)

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s) OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open MIC feat. Okay Kenedi (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)*

Graham Nash (Knight Theater)

30 MAR. 31

1 MAR. 19 MAR. 20

Beyond the Portal w/ Kalgon, Black Diamond Empress, Stormwatchers (The Milestone)

MSSV w/ Thousand Dollar Movie (Snug Harbor) JAZZ/BLUES

The Jive Aces (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Shinyribs w/ Kevin Gordon (Neighborhood Theatre) OPEN MIC

Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse)

Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)*

PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM

Sam on Someday is a monthly musical gathering of talented friends

Seven musicians are packed onto the Evening Muse’s stage, but the band doesn’t seem cramped or crowded. In fact, the vibe among the players is convivial as they sashay through a rocking version of iconoclastic country-rocker Mickey Newbury’s “Why You Been Gone So Long.”

Vocalist and guitarist Justin Clyde Williams sings the tune’s refrain before kicking off a round robin of solos starting with keyboardist Phil Howe’s rollicking R&B-infused run, then Emanuel Wynter’s sassy trumpet-like violin, and onto Troy Conn’s ringing liquid lead guitar.

Video of the Feb. 23 performance is from that month’s Sam on Someday show, a monthly, genrejumping, multi-act musical performance launched by the man seen strumming acoustic guitar throughout the video: Sam Tayloe, songwriter and co-founder of Charlotte-based folk-rock band Time Sawyer. Tayloe is putting the finishing touches on the next Sam on Sunday, scheduled for Petra’s on April 3.

“[It’s] a Charlotte community show, aiming to bring our music and arts folks together and strengthen our scene, while also giving a great show once a month to music lovers in our area,” writes Tayloe in an email to Queen City Nerve.

It’s also a labor of love for the Elkin-raised songwriter and musician; each show is as much a gathering of friends and peers as it is a concert.

“It’s for our community, to keep growing this [music scene], to be a part of something and just feel connected,” Tayloe says.

For each monthly musical happening, a house band plays five to seven songs with a focus on original music, although a few select covers are allowed. Unofficially named the Sam on Sunday (S.O.S.) Band, it’s never the same group twice in a row, with membership rotating from one show

to the next. Justin Clyde Williams will return for the upcoming Petra’s gig, joined by area musicians not present at the previous one: drummer Tim Haney, bassist Kerry Brooks, and piano player Jason Atkins, aka Greazy Keyz.

“I’m not saying [the music scene] needed some huge lightning rod, but I was hoping to get people together that hadn’t played with each other before,” Tayloe says. “Each set, ultimately, is completely different. Each time, we’re creating a one-time-only show.”

What all this variety means in practical terms is that Tayloe is planning and nurturing something that he can’t control too tightly, lest he smother the loose-knit, lightning-strikes-once experience that he’s trying to create.

“It’s a very loose structure,” says Tayloe. “ There are a lot of moving parts, but there is also fun and funny stuff in between that helps keep the audience a part of it.”

In addition to the S.O.S. Band, the next Sam on Someday will highlight seven featured performers who will each play a set of one to two original songs. For the April 3 show those featured acts include multi-disciplinary artist and musician Wild Recluse; surrealist fingerpicking folk and pop artist Coughing Dove; indie-Americana singer-songwriter Nathan Davis; pop rock performer, tunesmith and producer Joe May; and songwriter and guitarist Eric Maust. All are based in Charlotte.

Adding to the event’s familiar feel is the fact that area creatives are encouraged to come see the show, with a discounted $8 admission for local artists and musicians who wish to patronize rather than perform. General admission for the April 3 show is $12.

Tayloe estimates that the audience for each Sam on Someday in 2025, just two shows so far, has

been 60% general music lovers/showgoers and 40% local musicians and artists. He feels gratified that members of each group seem to be returning to see subsequent iterations.

Singer-songwriter Ali Forrest, the artist Queen City Nerve called the city’s Best New SingerSongwriter in our 2024 Best in the Nest issue, played three songs at the Feb. 23 show with “The Boys,” a nickname she affectionately bestows upon her bandmates guitarist Ben Burrows; bassist, guitarist and engineer Cole Covington; drummer and engineer Caleb Whitlock and guitarist Maust.

“It was so special,” Forrest says. “All of us felt supported and we made a whole bunch of new musician friends. It was truly a fun night of musicians doing their thing together. We were stoked to do the show, and all of us who will be in town for the next one are planning to go hang out.”

From Sunday to Someday

Long before the first live and in-person Sam on Someday launched in July 2021, there was Sam on Sunday, conceived in the isolating depths of quarantine amidst the COVID pandemic.

Tayloe went online live every Sunday during the pandemic, playing songs and connecting with shut-in viewers one-on-one. He describes the show as his attempt to lighten people’s loads during trying times. Eventually, other artists added their quarantined on-camera musical performances to the mix.

“We had a lot of musicians that I had no business working with sending me videos of them playing their great music,” says Tayloe, who lists North Carolina singer-songwriter Abigail Dowd, Charlotte R&B artist Jason Jet, Ed Jurdi (Band of Heathens) and Isaac Gibson (49 Winchester) among the major artists who contributed to Sam on Sunday.

After the quarantine was lifted, Tayloe decided to bring the show into recently reopened venues, starting in July 2021.

“It felt like the natural next step, getting back into the world and making [the experience] more tactile and real,” Tayloe says. “My favorite part of music is

to get out and play with other folks. So it seems like a natural evolution.”

So Sam on Sunday became Sam on Someday. “That’s because it can happen anytime, whenever we’re ready to go,” Tayloe notes.

As the Petra’s show approaches, Tayloe notes that he’s not overwhelmed with mounting the latest version of his musical moving feast, even though he’s juggling it with his popular band. In September 2024, Time Sawyer, a name that harkens to the rocking alt-folk-rock outfit’s origins in the bluegrass-haunted Yadkin Valley where Tayloe grew up, released its latest of eight albums, Honest Effort.

Tayloe and his band have also been involved in Reevestock, a concert launched in 2010 to revitalize Tayloe’s hometown of Elkin and to reopen its historic Reeves Theater. Those goals have long since been achieved, and the event has ended. But the Reevestock team is launching a new charity/ fundraising event for Elkin this year.

Despite all his irons in the fire, Tayloe is concentrating on creating with Sam on Someday a fun and loving environment that brings people together.

“The hard part is just relaxing and being in the moment,” offers Tayloe, noting that there is never any rehearsal time for such a relaxed, go-withthe flow event. “The point of this show is fun, for the audience and for us. And the most fun [for a musician] is getting out there and crushing it.”

He says he still gets more nervous than he’d like to admit before performing live, but Sam on Someday just feels like something different, serving as a reminder to himself that he loves making music, hanging out with friends and making new ones.

Tayloe hopes (and has seen it happen) that people will come out to the monthly shows initially for the eclectic multi-genre mix of music and artists, but keep coming back to become part of a growing community, and a welcoming group of friends.

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

Photo by Jake Rothwell
Inside a Sam on Someday show at Petra’s.
Photo by Steven Hall
Sam Tayloe (right) onstage during a Sam on Someday show.

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE STORY

THE DEI CHEF

Chef Maria Kemp puts culinary spin on diversity trainings

On Feb. 21, Republicans in the NC House of Representatives filed House Bill 171, a bill that prohibits state agencies from promoting, supporting, implementing or maintaining workplace diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) programs, policies or initiatives.

The introduction of the bill came as little surprise to those who have seen the second Trump administration attack and rescind DEI programs and initiatives across the country, emboldening Republicans at lower levels to follow his lead.

And so House Bill 171 was met with resistance, though some in the minority party did speak out. On Feb. 27, Mecklenburg representatives of the State Legislative Black Caucus, NC Rep. Jordan Lopez and NC Sen. Caleb Theodros, responded to the introduction of the bill with a statement warning that the DEI witch hunt would end up costing North Carolinians jobs while slashing critical funding in farming and research fields.

“House Bill 171 is part of that witch hunt, and measures like this ignore the contributions of many communities that have long been overlooked,” the joint statement read. “The Legislative Black Caucus remains committed to lowering costs and creating greater economic opportunities for all. We welcome the efforts of anyone who truly cares about uplifting those principles. But we will not tolerate any efforts that use those principles under false pretenses, while eliminating jobs and opportunities for North Carolinians.”

Cornelius-based Chef Maria Kemp knows DEI better than most. Professionally trained with a L’Art de la Pâtisserie certificate from Chicago’s prestigious French Pastry School, Kemp began as a traditional baker but has transformed her business into a hybrid of food education and DEI training.

Having closed her Decadence Bakery and Pastries storefront in Normal, Illinois, and moved to North Carolina after the passing of her mother, she originally launched her company Beyond Decadence as a traditional catering and delivery service.

Forced to adapt during the pandemic, Kemp has evolved Beyond Decadence away from dessert catering and nationwide shipping to DEI baking demonstrations, team-building experiences, and speaking engagements, combining her passion for pastry and diversity under the name Inclusive Excellence (formerly DEI & B).

She has also become a steadfast advocate for caregiving, having been the primary caregiver for both her parents after her mother suffered a stroke and throughout the time that her father struggled with dementia and late-stage Alzheimer’s.

Kemp spoke at a Charlotte City Council meeting on Feb. 24, warning that the coming “Silver Tsunami” will overwhelm the system, pleading that city officials prepare to invest in caregiver support and programming.

Many people are unaware that caregiving falls under the realm of DEI, Kemp warns, and the elimination of all things under that umbrella could mean a shortfall in funding for critical programs at a time when they should be seeing substantially more investment.

“We’re in a volatile time right now,” she said. “I want people to understand what’s happening in the world now as DEI has been weaponized.”

Though Kemp is no longer catering or taking orders, she still uses her culinary skills to ensure people truly understand what DEI is — a job that’s become all the more important over the last two months. We caught up with the advocate chef following her speech to city council to discuss her work in this critical time.

Queen City Nerve: Can you tell me about your program in your own words?

Chef Maria Kemp: It’s a framework that covers seven different key areas that a corporation would want to focus on to help bring understanding. The seven different key areas are from equity to leadership styles, cultural differences, addressing communication styles, neurodiversity, inclusive communication and diversity categories. I call it a framework because it’s a way of taking all those key pieces that people need to know and understand on a deeper level and breaking them out into modules.

I pioneered this approach where I use desserts to help with the definitions and the understanding. I create scenarios and bring food into it, which is namely dessert, to help them understand the definitions and concepts. Now, depending on the limitations and what we agree upon is going to be most effective for that group, there could be an interactive portion where they’re doing a little light construction or assembly, but it has to fit the lesson that needs to be learned overall.

What made you decide to conduct DEI training this way?

It originally started before the world blew up because I had gotten into pairing the diversity message and the desserts together at the request of a former client maybe three years ago. I took it even further beyond fulfilling their initial request and doing the project for them, and DEI & B grew from there.

Does this visual interactive method work better than more traditional DEI training, in your experience?

Absolutely, because you’re feeding people. They really enjoy the experience because they don’t know what they are in for. Food is a universal language, and it resonates. When I wear my jacket when I go to events, I immediately draw attention because we’re driven, empowered, motivated by food. It opens people up.

Beyond that aspect, it lowers the temperature of the weightiness of the topic because you’re not talking about Black, white, brown people, whatever — you’re using food to have those same conversations. I think a lot more can get in and resonate and stick, because now you’re doing that and making different similarities or differences or inequities amongst the individuals through food.

Why are these trainings personally important to you?

Because people don’t understand. They’re afraid to ask because they feel like it makes them antisomething and afraid that they’ll be ostracized. They feel people might say, “What do you mean you don’t know that? Does that mean you’re against it?” No, that just means I don’t know. And you don’t know what you don’t know. If you don’t ask, then you don’t learn.

I always start by saying that my training is foundational level because I want to help people understand it from a foundational level. There’s so much lack of clarity around what diversity really is

and who it includes and what it encompasses, and people are making decisions and assumptions and voting for things that they don’t fully understand. They’re drinking the Kool-Aid, and there are people who drank the Kool-Aid who are no longer with us. DEI has been weaponized. You think that you just made sure that Black people or brown people didn’t get any advantage that was unfair or only got it based on the color of their skin and now everything’s going back to merit-based. Well, meritbased didn’t work, and that’s why all the programs were instituted, so thank you for just taking us back in time 60 or 70 years.

And what people miss is when all the changes to DEI happen, race and ethnicity is just one of the pieces, but mental and physical abilities, sexual orientation, national origin, gender and age are also a part of that.

It even goes out further into education, political belief, family, organizational roles, religion, income – there are a lot of pieces to it. There are about 14 or 15 different categories that they’ve just eliminated. It hasn’t just eliminated Black and brown people; it’s eliminated a whole lot of people, organizations, and funding resources.

Do you think that most who oppose DEI understand the full breadth of what it encompasses?

I think there are some people [who do], but I don’t think the ones who have jumped on the bandwagon to be glad that it’s gone understand what the real impact is and all the categories or classifications of all the people that it takes in and helps. Once services start disappearing in agencies who provided services to specific groups of individuals with challenges, or when funding is cut because they’re deemed to fall underneath the DEI umbrella, then that’s when I think people are going to wake up and want to unscramble the egg. And, of course, you can’t do that.

You’ve also become an advocate for the caregiver community, as you espoused during a recent Charlotte City Council meeting. What message were you hoping to get across with that?

People don’t always get this, but being a caregiver is still DEI. Becoming a caregiver is still very needed. According to Forbes, 73% of all employees have a secret second job and it’s caregiving. It’s a big epidemic. In the next five years, 73 million [people] are going to hit age 65 and either need care of themselves or be responsible for providing it for someone else. So this is the part of DEI that nobody’s thinking about.

When people think about caregiving, they’re like, “Oh, that’s just for that senior down the street.” No, that takes in your mentally and physically challenged, it takes in parents of small children or single-parent families. So eliminating DEI has also affected all of those individuals as well, including veterans. That’s what nobody is talking about. That’s the part that has been sanitized.

What do you think would be the next step when people try to unscramble the egg? Do you think there’s a way forward after that?

Well, that’s going to be tough because an executive order has been signed, agencies have

Courtesy of Beyond Decadence
Chef Maria Kemp leads an Inclusive Excellence workshop at Sonoco.

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

already been disbanded and employees have already been fired or terminated. So all that would have to be undone.

Now, if we’re getting down to the state level, prayerfully, that won’t go through, but all that would have to be redone and recalibrated because there’s going to be a lot of people struggling for support and services that found themselves impacted in this merit-based system that we’re going back to. Well, we tried that years ago, and that’s why affirmative action and DEI and all that were put in place because merit-based didn’t work.

And why do you think that is? Do you have any thoughts on why you think that that’s happening?

I have so many thoughts. I’m sure it’s all motivated by money and the general public is probably not even privy to the level that it’s happening at, and the advantages and incentives and contracts or whatever. It all boils down to money, that by eliminating the chance for others to be considered who may not look like you tilts the scales.

There’s probably incentives or something that we can’t see from where we’re at of why it was being done, other than that it just feels like blatant racism. What have been your thoughts seeing these DEI attacks amplify over the last couple of months?

I think it’s a travesty. I think it’s sad. I think if people took the time to actually research what it is and what it really means and all the people that are impacted, they would have a different understanding, and they wouldn’t be so quick to say, “Yes, let’s get rid of it. I’m glad you got rid of it.” They wouldn’t blame DEI for everything that goes wrong in the country, like plane crashes. It’s being weaponized in the worst possible way. Anything that goes wrong or anything that’s bad, it’s DEI’s fault.

What would you say to the people out there who are fearful for what these types of attacks mean for them personally and for us as a country?

We perish from lack of understanding. Do your own research on what it really means and get a better understanding of what diversity, equity,

STORY

inclusion means, and what that means to a corporation. In general, just understand what it is and why it’s important.

And here’s what is going to happen: When you remove diversity, equity, inclusion, you lose innovation, creativity, diversity of thought. It ends up affecting a corporation, the bottom line, because if you have everybody who looks the same, talks the same, has the same experience, same education, same income level, same everything, there’s no innovation and diversity of thought.

There are a million cited sources that talk about the statistics of a diverse and inclusive workforce and the competitive advantage that it gives and the revenue goals that they will achieve over a nondiverse and inclusive company. Those are statistics that I give in my interactive presentation.

With all that in mind, what are your thoughts on House Bill 171?

I didn’t even know about that. I mean, it’s not surprising because they’re all Republicans just following what Trump has been pushing as his agenda. That’s huge, and it’s horrible, and that moves it beyond the federal level.

I have corporations I’ve been talking to, depending on their industry, where they’ve had to totally change and pull information, any DEI information off their websites because they have federal contracts, and change training that they had scheduled, and reevaluate what they can or cannot do with me, and have their lawyers involved, and that’s just from the federal mandate.

Now, if we’re drilling down to the state level, then we’re going to start seeing that more locally. They’re just trying to shove it down everybody’s throat. That’s what it boils down to — to make sure they eliminate it and wipe it off the face of the Earth, period.

Learn more about Chef Maria Kemp’s work at beyonddecadence.com.

DLEWIS@QCNERVE.COM

Photo courtesy of Beyond Decadence
Chef Maria’s red velvet cake cup.

MAR. 19 - MAR. 25 MAR. 26 - APR. 1

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Consider moving beyond the usual methods to find a more creative means of handling a difficult on-the-job situation. Avoid confrontation and aim for cooperation instead.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A seasonal change creates a new look for the outdoors. It also inspires Taureans to redo their own environments, so this is a good week to start redoing both your home and workplace. Enjoy!

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A misunderstanding needs to be straightened out so the wrong impression isn’t allowed to stand. If necessary, offer to support the use of a third party to act as an impartial arbitrator.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A career change offering what you want in money and responsibilities could involve moving to a new location. Discuss this with your family members before making a decision.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Feeling miffed over how you believe you were treated is understandable. But before you decide to “set things straight,” make sure that the whole thing wasn’t just a misinterpretation of the facts.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Showing you care makes it easier to build trust and gain an advantage in handling a delicate situation. What you learn from this experience will also help you understand yourself better.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Planning for the future is fine, especially if you include the roles that family members may be asked to play. But don’t be surprised if some hidden emotions are revealed in the process.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Making choices highlights much of the week, and you have a head start here, thanks to your ability to grasp the facts of a situation and interpret them in a clear-cut manner.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Carrying a torch can be a two-way situation: It can either keep you tied to the past or help light your way to the future. The choice, as always, has to be yours.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Your watchwords this week are “focus, focus, focus.” Don’t let yourself be distracted from what you set out to do. There’ll be time later to look over other possibilities.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A workplace opportunity might require changes that you’re not keen on making. Discuss the plusses and minuses with someone familiar with the situation before you make a decision.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Love and romance are strong in your aspect this week. If you’ve already met the right person, expect your relationship to grow. And if you’re still looking, odds are, you’ll soon be finding what you want!

BORN THIS WEEK: You approach life in a wise and measured manner, which gives you a competitive edge in many areas.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) The week promises a calmer aspect. Although there might be some lingering effects from a recent job problem, things should continue to ease up. Also expect a change in a home-based situation.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) If you feel uneasy about a colleague’s suggestion, it might be that your wise inner Taurean guide is alerting you to a potential problem. Stepping away could turn out to be the right thing to do.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A family get-together opens up new opportunities for renewing ties. It can be especially effective in dealing with disagreements that should have been resolved but never fully were.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) You might be surprised at the response you get to a recent decision. You might be even more surprised by the reasons behind it. In any event, you’ll learn something important.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Your aspects favor resolving any tensions left over from a recent incident. You might want to consider having a “clear the air” talk as soon as you can. A call can lead to a change of plans.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Avoid repeating yourself. If your first few efforts fail to connect, maybe it’s because you haven’t found the right way to get your message across. Try changing your approach.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Good intentions plus a strong resolve to succeed can take you where you want to go. Don’t give up just because someone suggests you might be pursuing an impossible cause.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) An unexpected setback can be a blessing in disguise. Use it to recheck your facts and how you’ve presented them. Meanwhile, look for ways to expand your contacts.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) You should finally be seeing a positive change in a recent personal situation. However, an on-the-job matter might need more attention than you realized. Stay with it!

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) While you should be close to completing an important matter, you still need to maintain your focus. Things will ease up in time for weekend fun with family and friends.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A certain matter might take an unexpected turn. Don’t simply accept it; ask for an explanation. What you learn might be helpful in shifting the situation around to your benefit.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Projecting a positive attitude helps restore calm, even when you’re confronting some pretty stormy situations. Stay the course! The outcome will be well worth your efforts.

BORN THIS WEEK: While you enjoy tradition and stability, you also appreciate the good things that change can bring. You know how to achieve a great balance within this area of your life.

1. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Who was Time Magazine’s First Man of the Year in 1927?

2. MOVIES: Who was the male lead in the film “Risky Business”?

3. LITERATURE: In which novel does the character of Emma Woodhouse appear?

4. LANGUAGE: What does the acronym “sonar” stand for?

5. TELEVISION: What was the name of the Dukes’ car on the show “The Dukes of Hazzard”?

6. HISTORY: The first atomic submarine was built in which decade?

7. GEOGRAPHY: What modernday country is in the area known in ancient times as Lusitania?

8. MEDICINE: What disease is caused by a deficiency of Vitamin A?

9. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Which U.S. president’s image appeared on a dollar coin in 1971?

10. MATH: What does the symbol “r” stand for in geometry?

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.

NERVE ENDINGS

MICROAGGRESSIONS

Don’t touch anyone’s hair uninvited, and definitely not my kid’s

I know it will garner eye rolls from some readers, but it must be said: I have the most exemplary baby boy. First of all, he’s adorable and people love to say so. His general shyness when people try to say hello makes this even more true.

He’s so chill in public; yes, he’s curious about what item I’m grabbing or looking at, but he keeps the calmest demeanor during all of our trips. I’m not sure how long that will last so I’ll enjoy it while I can.

Having said that, it’s still very rare for me to bring my son out on trips to the store. This is for a few reasons, but the biggest is to keep him from getting sick. Though people like to claim — even insist — that everything is “back to normal,” I remain unconvinced. People rarely took one another’s personal spaces into consideration before the pandemic, barely did it during, and they most certainly fail to do so now.

So, it was with some trepidation that I brought my son to Concord Mills mall with me on a recent winter day. I needed to do some shopping, I had the day off, and I thought it might be a fun little outing for us. It started out fun enough, but then things got weird.

Avid reader that I am, I stopped at Books-AMillion first, where I spent way too much money on books (or not enough, depending on who you ask). Then I made my way to Bath & Body Works. The place was mobbed because due to a sale taking place that day, and one does not miss a B&BW sale.

This is where the fun stopped.

My son was rapt with attention in his stroller, which drew a few people’s attention, and one in particular.

An older white woman, probably in her seventies, was enraptured with my son and told me so. She then proceeded to enthusiastically tell me how much she loved his super curly hair. I replied as I normally do: “Thank you so much!”

I’m not sure if my response was too inviting or familiar, but I certainly didn’t mean for it to be — I was simply being polite. How she reacted was not the way one would expect a stranger to react: She reached down and touched my son’s hair.

We’re not talking about a simple poke or pat — which still would have been crossing a boundary, let’s be clear — but she toyed and tugged at a particularly coily strand that hung directly in his face, marveling at it almost as if she couldn’t believe it was real.

Flabbergasted, I was too stunned to speak as she departed. I felt a rush of emotions and had a great many thoughts. I immediately texted my fiance, who responded incredulously from work,

“WTF is wrong with people?”

Once I left the store, I called my brother. I needed to vocally vent to someone and he was available. He responded, hothead that he is, that the woman was lucky he hadn’t been there. Knowing him, I fully agreed.

There were so many reasons this encounter upset me. The first would be obvious to anyone: I didn’t know her and she didn’t know me. I have no problem whatsoever with her complimenting my son, but invading both of our spaces to touch his hair was beyond offensive.

Further to that point, how would I know if she’s sick? How would she know we’re not? I get that some people don’t care about that stuff, but I do. I take our family’s health very seriously and expect no one to intrude on that priority.

The other reason it bothered me is a reason that might not be so obvious to anyone who isn’t Black and hasn’t had to fend off people clamoring to tough their hair: It felt like a microaggression.

For years, Black people have had to tell nonBlack people not to touch our hair. Sometimes people ask, oftentimes they don’t; they just go for it. And then, somehow, Black people are the ones in the wrong when they respond aggressively to the unsolicited groping.

Thanks to a white supremacist culture that’s been propped up in this country since long before its official founding, Black people’s naturally kinky, coily, curly hair is often viewed as a spectacle — something that cannot be merely seen to be believed, it has to be experienced. It has to be touched.

And for those same reasons involving white supremacy, Black people are expected to not only be okay with this attention but be flattered by it.

I am certain that there are those out there who would defend this woman and claim that she didn’t mean any harm. Maybe she didn’t. Her intent doesn’t matter to me, however. All that matters to me is how I felt, and none of it was good.

I’m torn about my decision not to say anything. On one hand, I didn’t because I really was just that dumbfounded. By the time I came to my senses, it was over and she was gone. On the other hand, no matter what, it wouldn’t have ended well for me.

Have you ever seen The Color Purple, Steven Spielberg’s 1985 adaptation of Alice Walker’s famous novel from three years previous? There’s a scene in which a white woman marvels at how “clean” a Black woman’s children are, as if Black people are thought to be wholly incapable of being “clean” that to see one in such condition is remarkable.

PUZZLE ANSWERS

The woman patronizingly asks the Black woman, Sofia, if she would be her maid, to which Sofia responds “Hell no,” setting off a chain reaction that ends with Sofia, the victim in all this, behind bars.

This situation felt like that scene.

I’m astounded, to say the least, that in 2025, Black people still have to fight to be seen as fully autonomous individuals while simultaneously pleading for people to respect our space.

We are people, too — we have emotions and we have triggers just like anyone else. After centuries of disrespect and fighting and pleading, it is a wonder to me how anyone could be surprised when Black people lash out.

All this to say: Stop touching Black people’s hair and respect their space.

And don’t touch my son.

DLEWIS@QCNERVE.COM

Trivia Answers
1. Aviator Charles Lindbergh. 2. Tom Cruise. 3. “Emma” by Jane Austen. 4. Sound navigation and ranging.
The General Lee.
1950s. 7. Portugal.
Night blindness.
Dwight D. Eisenhower.
Radius.
CHARLOTTE’S ALTERNATIVE NEWSPAPER
“Ukrainian bunkers versus GOP bunker mentality” Cartoon by John Cole. Originally published at NCNewsline.com.

SAVAGE LOVE

RUNAWAY, BRIDE!

Don’t buy before you test drive

I’m a 28-year-old woman married to my husband, a 29-year-old man, for almost two years, and we still haven’t had sex. We met through mutual friends, dated for less than a year, and we knew pretty quickly that we wanted to get married. Things between us felt right. We genuinely liked each other, and everything felt pretty great. On our wedding night, we decided to leave the hotel early to spend time with family since many had traveled far for the wedding. After the wedding, life got hectic. Before we realized it, months had passed. I initiated intimacy a few times but we never followed through. I’ve brought it up multiple times and he always says he feels self-conscious about his body but promises to try harder. We even scheduled times for intimacy, but when the time came, he was either too busy or he would ask if we could try tomorrow instead. I’ve given him oral sex and a handjob but other than that nothing. Yes, we were both virgins on our wedding night, and I guess we still are. Every time we have a heart-to-heart, he promises to do better but nothing changes. I’ve stopped bringing it up because I feel like I’m nagging, but it’s breaking me inside. We’ve talked about wanting children and when we should start trying, but it feels so painful to have those conversations when we haven’t even had sex yet. I feel heartbroken watching our friends start families while we’re stuck in this place. I don’t know if therapy would help or if I should involve his parents, or if I need to worry about something/someone else or if I should accept that this might never change. I feel lost. Has anyone else been through something like this? What would you do?

MARRIED IN NAME ONLY

Alright, MINO, there’s clearly something your husband isn’t telling you — something you had a right to know before you married him — but you need to ask yourself how much more time you’re willing to waste before you find out what that thing is.

Best-case scenario: Your husband agrees to therapy, MINO, and you somehow manage to find the perfect therapist right away, i.e. the kind of therapist with the power to heal their clients in one or two visits. And then at your second appointment with this miracle-working therapist, MINO, your husband tells you that thing you had a right to know before you married him and it turns out to be something silly and trivial and your husband

is in such a hurry to fuck you now after that silly and trivial thing is out in the open that you wind up having PIV sex for the first time in the parking garage of your therapist’s office building.

Worst-case scenario: Your husband agrees to therapy, MINO, but years go by before your husband finally levels with you about that thing you had a right to know before you married him and it’s not something silly or trivial and saying it out loud doesn’t make it go away and you have to live with the realization that you didn’t just waste years of your life on a man who couldn’t love you the way you deserved to be loved, but you wasted them on a man who could see that sexual rejection was breaking you and he didn’t love you enough to let you go.

What do you recommend doing if you have a good friend who is dizzyingly hot, totally off limits, and has been flirting with you for two years?

I am conflicted because I find it pretty fun, but I periodically feel guilty because he is in a monogamous relationship and has a new baby. On the other hand, it’s limited to him making sorta mild flirtatious comments and sending occasional (fully clothed!) selfies. I don’t think I’m misreading the situation here, as I’ve spoken at length with friends and my partner, all of whom all joke about his glances and body language around me. I have pretty good self-control and I don’t want to be party to him blowing up his life because he is my friend, first and foremost, and I don’t think he wants to blow up his life, seeing as flirting hasn’t escalated over time. And despite the chemistry that’s obvious to the people around us, I don’t get any sense that it pisses off his partner when the three of us hang out. However, I’m writing to you for a gut check. The photos feel like a little step over the line, and I redirect the conversation when he sends them and don’t send any photos in return, but I’ve never shut him down explicitly. Should I? Do I need to shut this down entirely or lay down clear boundaries?

FRIENDLY LAD IS REALLY TEMPTING

For all you know, FLIRT, Mrs. Hot Tattoos puts on a brave face when her husband flirts with you in front of a room full of people — she clocks how he looks at you, she clocks how you look at him — and then cries herself to sleep at night from the humiliation of it all. Or Mrs. Hot Tattoos is a cuckquean and, although their marriage is monogamous, she encourages her husband to flirt with other women in front of other people and comes extra hard from the humiliation of it all. Or Mr. and Mrs. Hot Tattoos are monogamish;

for some couples being monogamish means there’s some allowance for outside sexual contract, FLIRT, and for others it means they don’t have to hide evidence they’re attracted to someone else. So long as crushes remain crushes — so long as flirtations don’t become action plans — they’re allowed. Basically, FLIRT, other people’s marriages are a mystery. In normal circumstances, these mysteries are none of our business — but seeing as your sustained flirtation with Mr. Hot Tattoos has created an ethical dilemma for you, FLIRT, their mystery is now your business. Because if what you’re doing is hurting this other woman — if this is causing her pain — you don’t (or shouldn’t) want any part of it. So, I recommend putting the dread direct question (DDQ) to this Mr. Hot Tattoos: “Does it bother your wife when we flirt? I know it can’t go any further than flirting — because your marriage is monogamous and I respect that — but if what we are doing is hurting your wife’s feelings, we should stop. So, does this bother her?”

If Mr. Hot Tattoos says it’s killing his wife — if he admits she’s crying herself to sleep at night from the humiliation of it all — then you can bet he’s telling the truth. On the other hand, FLIRT, if he tells you his wife is fine with it … or that she likes it … there’s a somewhat decent chance he’s telling the truth … given as his wife seems unbothered by it … but “she’s fine with it” is exactly the sort of lie a married man might tell when asked whether his behavior is hurting his wife. So, if you get the first response — it’s killing his wife — stop flirting with him. If he tells you his wife is fine with it, FLIRT, and you want to make sure he’s not lying to you, then you’ll need to ask him the OFQ (obvious followup question): “Can I check with Mrs. Hot Tattoos about that?”

My husband and I have been together for a long time and we are still massively in love with each other! A few years ago, we dipped our toes into “The Lifestyle.” It was a great experience! We felt like teenagers again, inside and outside of the bedroom. The experience brought us closer, our communication became stronger and the experience encouraged a deeper, more honest form of conversation. Then COVID happened and we closed things back up. Recently, we’ve begun discussing signing up on a few swinging apps and getting back into this but I hesitate due to the political climate. I cannot fathom giving a piece of myself to a Trump supporter. It literally gives me an all-body ick to think about it. My husband feels the same way. Even though we still feel somewhat new to the lifestyle, we understand the difference between a sexy conversation and a non-sexy conversation, and we don’t think politics makes for a sexy conversation. Is it appropriate to share on our profiles that we are not interested in meeting anyone who is any way MAGA? We don’t feel a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is a strong enough stance to take, what with everything being taken from so many during this reign of terror.

MUST AVOID GRINDING AGAINST TRUMP SUPPORTERS

Even if you put , “NO TRUMP VOTERS, NO MAGA IDIOTS,” in all caps on your ads, MAGATS, you’re still gonna have to do your screw diligence

before meeting up with other couples. Research into online dating/hookups has shown that many people don’t read the text of a personal ad — people send messages to people whose photos they like — which means we can’t assume the person we’re talking to is aware of our interests, limits, boundaries, etc., just because we listed them in the text of our personal ad. Additionally, there’s nothing MAGA motherfuckers enjoy more than inflicting themselves on people who want nothing to do with them — bone the libs to own the libs — which means you’ll have to ask one or two pointed/ trick questions at some point between exchanging messages and swapping partners even if it seems like they read your ad.

Every year I make pin-on buttons for Pride and give them away leading up to and throughout the month of June. It’s a small contribution; I enjoy making them and seeing them pinned to people around town throughout the year. I like to stick to a theme. Last year I still had hope for the US and tried to appeal to people’s humanity: “Hello, Neighbor” “It’s OK to love people” and “It’s just ME.” This year I’m struggling for ideas and, as I cast about for inspiration, I keep getting bogged down in the moment — this big, ugly, scary moment. Even the ideas I come up with (“Gay and Armed”) have a desperate and defensive tone that I’d like to avoid while we celebrate. Or, maybe I should embrace the tone; maybe it’s less celebratory this year than protest-y. Some of my first pins included “The first pride was a RIOT!” Maybe “The next pride will be a RIOT!” would fit the bill. I am hoping (in one hand, doodling in the other) you and your readers might have ideas for themes or slogans that fit the mood of this year’s Pride. Thank you for everything you do. It makes a difference.

PRIDE IS NOW NEEDED EVERY DAY

While many other demographic groups moved toward Trump in 2024, LGBT voters decisively rejected Trump and Trumpism: 88% of LGBT voters rejected Trump in 2024 compared to just 73% in 2020. So, when I read your letter, PINNED, my first thought was, “You know what would be cool? Buttons with ‘88’ on them! It would make a statement about how unified we are as a community against Trump and anyone who didn’t know what it meant would have to ask and that could start some great conversations and inspire solidarity!”

Then I remembered that “88” is code for “Heil Hitler” (“H” being the eighth letter of the alphabet), and neo-Nazis are already out there wearing “88” buttons and sporting “88” tattoos. So, please don’t make “88” buttons, PINNED, as they’re not going to start any conversations worth having. Some other suggestions off the top of my head: “WE’RE STILL HERE,” “TRANS PEOPLE EXIST,” “DO NOT COMPLY,” and “FUCK THIS SHIT.”

Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love; record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage. love/askdan; podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.

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Queen City Nerve - March 19, 2025 by Queen City Nerve - Issuu