July 22 – August 4 Volume 1 ■ Issue 7
FMA Defeated
Kennedy: Religious right looks “ridiculous”
Sexing the Inmates Metro jail to develop new classification policies
LCR Installs New President Storrs to head up conservative gay group Sports Cycling grannies cross finish line Ohio Pride confiscates guns
A&E Xenia knows about birthin’ camels
Queeriscaping Brandie Loves Bush
Free Inside! ‘No On 3’ Window Sign
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News
American Bar Association Opposes Federal Marriage Amendment by Marlin G. Criddle, Attorney at Law
WORLD AND NATIONAL
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JULY 22, 2004
Scottish tourist authority VisitScotland removed the Cromasaig guest house from its records after proprietor Tom Forrest referred to a U.K. gay couple as “sexual deviants” and refused to rent them a room with a double bed. When Londoner Steven Nock and his partner of five years contacted the Scottish bed and breakfast to rent a room while on a four-day tour of the Highlands, Forrest offered instead to rent them a room with single beds. The BBC reported that Forrest sent Nock an email that said, “We do not have a problem with your personal sexual deviation, that is up to you. You are welcome to our twin room if you wish, but we will not condone your perversion.” Nock, who described himself as “seething with anger,” contacted several gay-rights groups. When, after receiving several e-mail messages protesting his discriminatory policy, Forrest refused to apologize, VisitScotland removed his listing from its records. “This is the sort of behavior that really gives Scotland a bad name,” said Tony Mercer, VisitScotland’s quality assurance direc-
tor, “I know a lot of operators are contacting us saying that they wish not to be associated with this sort of behavior.” — JV
MoveOn Wants to Pink-Slip Senators In the wake of the Federal Marriage Amendment’s June 14 defeat in the U.S. Senate, owners of the progressive website MoveOn.org say they are seeking to “fire” four senators who support banning gay marriage. In order to accomplish this goal, MoveOn says it seeks to replace the four anti-gay incumbents with Democrats who support gay marriage — one of whom is a gay man — in four closely contested elections in Oklahoma, New Mexico, Indiana and Florida. In order to accomplish its goal, MoveOn PAC organizers Eli Pariser and Hannah Pingree have asked MoveOn supporters to donate money to each of the four candidates’ campaigns. MoveOn.org said it will back openly gay Jim Stork in Florida, Kalyn Free in Oklahoma, Richard Romero in New Mexico and Jon Jennings in Indiana. The site includes biographies of these candidates and statements of support from some of their constituents. — JV
AMERICAN BAR ASSOCIATION
Scottish B&B Calls Gay Couple ‘Deviants’
The American Bar Association stated that it was “staunchly opposed” to the proposed Federal Marriage Amendment in a letter sent July 12 to all U.S. senators. Although the ABA has taken no formal position on same-sex marriage, it urged the senators “to reject this attempt to use the constitutional amendment process to impose on the states a particular moral viewpoint about a controversial subject.” American Bar Association Regulation of marPresident Dennis Archer riage has been left to the state, and it is rooted in the principles of federalism. Variations among the states have permitted each state the opportunity to examine the effect different laws have on society, and to allow states to experiment with new ideas. The letter quoted Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis, who said: “To stay experimentation in things social and economic is a grave responsibility. Denial of the right to experiment may be fraught with serious consequences to the Nation. It is one of the happy incidents of the federal system that a single courageous state may … serve as a laboratory; and try novel social experiments without risk to the rest of the country.”
With implications for the debate about marriage in Utah, the ABA said that “the Constitution should not be amended to call a halt to democratic debate within the states to promote a particular ideology. In the more than two centuries since the Constitution was adopted, the freedoms it guarantees have only been expanded and reinforced. We must not, as a nation, write into our cherished national charter, a provision denying rights to one group of Americans.” A study by the ABA Section on Family Law demonstrates that courts and legislatures have issued or enacted hundreds of court opinions and legislative enactments to address the myriad complex issues and ramifications arising from the debate surrounding same-sex couples and families: “Allowing states to craft their own solutions in this area requires both confidence and humility.” Although more than 11,000 proposed constitutional amendments have been introduced in Congress since 1789, the Constitution has been amended only 27 times — “a testament to its vitality and to Congressional restraint.” In a 48-to-50 procedural vote July 14, the U.S. Senate failed to garner even a simple majority. Sixty votes were necessary to end debate in order to allow a vote on the amendment itself. In order to be adopted the proposed amendment would need to be passed in both houses of Congress by a two-thirds majority and by a majority vote in three-fourths of the state legislatures.
DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE
Senator Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) spoke against the Federal Marriage Amendment, saying the United States Senate and the country have more pressing concerns to spend its time on.
FMA Defeated in Senate Boxer: Al-Qaeda Threatens America More Than Gay Marriage by JoSelle Vanderhooft
Publisher Michael Aaron Editor Brandon Burt Events Editor Greg Harrison Sports Editor David Nelson Contributing Writers Scott Abbott, Brandie Balken, Lee Beckstead, Xenia Cherkaev, Janice Eberhardt, Jace Garfield, Ann Hess, Beau Jarvis, Lynette Malmstrom, Laurie Mecham, LaDonna Moore, Sally Neilson, Rob Orton, William T. Park, Scott Perry, Nicholas Rupp, Mandy Q. Racer, Ruby Ridge, Joel Shoemaker, Jim Struve, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben Williams Photographers Lucy Juarez, William H. Munk, Shauna Sanchez Proofreader Nicholas Rupp Art Director Michael Aaron Graphic Designer Kris Kramer Marketing and Public Relations Director Chad Keller Sales Director and Office Manager Steven Peterson Sales Executives 801-323-9500 | 877-870-0727 Jill Brooks | jill@slmetro.com Sebastian Cruz | sebastian@slmetro.com Distribution Chad Keller, Director Courtney Moser, Northern Utah Copyright © 2004 Salt Lake Metro.
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A cloture vote on the Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA) went down in defeat July 14 in a bi-partisan vote of 48-50 – 12 votes shy of the needed number to limit debate on the FMA and force the Senate to vote on the issue. Although the vote was simply a procedural matter and not a vote on the proposed amendment itself, several political analysts had recently predicted that the marriage amendment would fail to get the 67 senate votes needed to send it to the states for ratification. A one-sentence change to the joint resolution, proposed by Senator Gordon Smith, R-Ore., further muddied debate on the issue. The change would have deleted the sentence, “Neither this Constitution, nor the constitution of any state, shall be construed to require that marriage or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon any union other than the union of a man and a woman,” from the two-sentence amendment: Nonetheless, debate on the cloture vote itself was heated, lasting several hours on July 12 and July 13. Although the Senate calendar had previously scheduled the debate to begin as early as July 9, one of the amendment’s staunchest supporters, Sen. Bill Frist, R-Tenn., asked the body to postpone debate until the following week. Prominent senators engaging in the July 13 floor debate included Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., and Sen. Barbara Boxer , D-Calif. — all of whom opposed the FMA for a variety of reasons. Boxer said debate on the issue was taking up valuable time that should be devoted to more pressing topics, such as homeland security. “Let us be honest.
However we feel about gay marriage or civil unions or domestic partnerships, however we feel on those matters, what is more of a threat to you and your family?” asked Boxer. “I have to believe most would say al-Qaeda, not Mary and Carol or Jim and Carl, but al-Qaeda — people whose names we do not know.” Additionally, Kennedy accused the Republican Party of trying to create political division during an election year by bypassing the Senate Judiciary Committee and bringing the amendment directly to the floor. “This is not a serious debate about our constitutional tradition and values,” he said. “If it were, we would have a vote on this tomorrow, up or down, as the Democratic leadership has proposed. Instead, it is a procedural way in order to put people on the record. It is a sham. It is a desperate ploy to divide the nation for political advantage. The rabid reactionary religious right has rarely looked more ridiculous.” Clinton said that if protecting marriage was the true purpose of the amendment, that it would make more sense to go after other issues such as no-fault divorce, illegitimacy and out-of-wedlock pregnancies. “Is it really marriage we are protecting?” asked Clinton. “I believe marriage should be protected. I believe marriage is essential, but I do not, for the life of me, understand how amending the Constitution of the United States with respect to same-gender marriages really gets at the root of the problem of marriage in America. It is like my late father used to say: It is like closing the barn door after the horse has left.” However, senators such as Wayne Allard, R-Colo., Jim Talent, R-Miss., and amendment co-sponsor Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, argued in the FMA’s favor, saying
that “activist judges” in Massachusetts and other states were largely responsible for bringing the issue up in the first place. Hatch said that he thought the Senate should vote on the FMA even though under normal circumstances he agreed that issues such as marriage were best left up to individual states to decide. However, in the wake of the Massachusetts decision to legalize same-sex marriage, Hatch said that the Constitution’s Article IV, also known as the full faith and credit clause, could be used to “force” gay marriage on the other 49 states — even if those states had already adopted so-called “Defense of Marriage Acts” defining marriage as the union of a man and a woman. “If we pass a constitutional amendment, it will be up to the states whether or not that constitutional amendment will be ratified, and three-quarters of the states will have to ratify it in order for it to be ratified,” he said. “I might add that means the people themselves will have to be very much involved in it throughout the country — unlike having four judges in Massachusetts decide this issue for all of America.” While Hatch said that he thinks gay and lesbian couples had “a right to live in their relationships within the privacy of their own homes, just like others who have different approaches towards life,” he added that he “drew the line when it comes to traditional marriage.” “It is difficult for me to see how anybody could differ on traditional marriage, even though I know my gay friends do,” said Hatch. “Does that justify the laws in some, if not all, states that prohibit a gay partner from being able to go into an intensive care unit and care for his or her gay partner? That doesn’t justify that. I think that is terrible, that our laws do not take care of that. Does it mean a gay person can’t benefit from the laws of estates and trusts? I believe under current laws they can, but if they can’t, we ought to correct those laws. You could go through various things where there are inequities, but we don’t solve those inequities by changing a 5,000-plus-year definition of traditional marriage.” In his speech from the Senate floor, Hatch even invoked the specter of Mormon polygamy: “I come from a culture where at one time polygamy was a religious belief and was practiced by a small percentage of people in my faith. They believed it was important to bring as many children into the world as they could, among other things … but when Reynolds v. Simms came down — the Supreme Court case not allowing plural marriage — basically, my faith did away with plural marriage. I have to say no one would argue that it should ever come back. Just to make the point, I would never argue that it should come back. I have been offended by some people indicating that there might be some argument for it.” Despite the amendment’s defeat, some neoconservatives have said they would continue to fight for a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage.
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JULY 22, 2004
With one exception, the eight Democratic and Republican candidates for Wyoming’s single seat in the U.S. House of Representatives oppose the Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA). While Wyoming’s Republican incumbent Barbara Cubin co-sponsored the amendment, candidates from both parties said that gay marriage is first and foremost a states’ rights issue. “Wyoming has one of the highest rates of pregnancy Congressional candidate Ted by unwed teenage Ladd of Wilson, Wyoming mothers,” said Democratic candidate Ted Ladd, a businessman from Wilson. “Families in Wyoming are not threatened by gay marriage. That’s not what’s causing the increase in teen pregnan-
cies, so I think talking about gay marriage is a diversion of much more important issues that impact Wyoming.” Ladd also added that because the U.S. Constitution protects individuals’ privacy, the government has no authority to tell people with whom to associate. “It’s poor tactics on the part of proponents, because it could blow up in their faces,” added Republican Cale Case, a congressional hopeful and Wyoming state senator. Similarly, both of Casper’s candidates Republican Candidate Jim Altebaumer and Democrat John Henley opposed the amendment. Republicans Marvin “Trip” Applequist and Bruce Asay also said the states should decide the matter while Democrat Al Hamburg called the amendment a “fake issue.” Wyoming law defines marriage as the union between a man and a woman. The FMA was defeated on the Senate floor June 14. — JV
JOEL SHOEMAKER
Wyoming Congressional Hopefuls Oppose Marriage Amendment
Equality Utah Executive Director Michael Mitchell speaks before a town hall meeting sponsored by the Center
Coffee and Politics Under Discussion at Center Town Hall Meeting by Joel Shoemaker Pride, politics and program changes were discussed July 10 at a “Town Hall Meeting” organized by the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of Utah. In lieu of an advisory board, the Town Hall Meeting is held twice yearly for the Center to gain input and feedback from organizations throughout the community. Representatives from area organizations were invited, and about 50 people attended. The Center is in the midst of considerable changes, board members told attendees. A new director is expected to be named by the end of July; a new donation campaign hopes to get 1,000 people to donate at least $35 to the Center; and the Center’s web site and database are undergoing a full “technology assessment.” The future of the Center’s most visible resource, its coffee shop and art gallery, remains in limbo while a new business model is considered. “It’s absolutely going to exist,” said board chair Maryanne Martindale. “What we will know it as, we don’t know.” Closed for renovations during the meeting, Martindale said the shop would re-open in a scaled-down version when renovations are complete. A committee is evaluating how the shop can best serve the needs of the public, but a permanent decision on its future will have to wait until the new executive director is named.
While using the meeting to thank many people for their efforts, organizers for the Center’s largest event, Utah Pride, were unable to announce whether the event made or lost money. “We don’t know totals quite yet,” said organizer Craig Miller. John Johnson, board secretary, says Pride cost about $100,000 to produce, making it a challenging task for the Center to just break even. Much of the meeting also focused on a strategy presentation by the Don’t Amend Alliance and Equality Utah concerning their fight against a proposed state constitutional amendment on November’s general election ballot banning same-sex marriage. “This is an unprecedented attack,” said Michael Mitchell, Equality Utah‘s executive director. Mitchell and Don’t Amend director Scott McCoy emphasized that the main objective of the organization’s upcoming political efforts this summer and fall is not to convince voters that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry. “If we make this about gay marriage, we’ll lose,” said Mitchell. Instead, the Alliance intends to focus on the second portion of the amendment that bans civil unions and similar legal agreements — a measure that McCoy says will hurt people. Don’t Amend volunteer coordinator Teinamarrie Nelson encouraged each of the organizations to assist in door-to-door canvassing.
Utah Log Cabin Republicans Elects New President Gordon Storrs was elected July 6 as president of Utah Log Cabin Republicans (ULCR). Due to a family illness, ULCR founder Kevin Cromer stepped down as the organization’s president and nominated Storrs as his successor; the motion to elect Storrs was unopposed by the nine members attending the meeting. Storrs, whose son John is challenging Rep. David Litvak, D-Salt Lake City, for his seat in the House of Representatives, said that while he would miss his colleague Cromer’s leadership, he nonetheless wanted “to make a difference” in Utah politics. “Everyone in this state has ideas and that includes us,” Storrs said, noting that he wanted all Utahns to have “a place at the table.” “Our lives are at stake, seriously, in more ways than one,” he added, referring to Amendment 3, which would amend the
Utah Constitution to define marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Storrs asked fellow Log Cabin Republicans to help him in his new office. Although Cromer said his family situation will largely dominate his time over the next few months, he said he would not be leaving the Utah chapter behind. “I’ll still be involved in the chapter and the party, but I’m going to be doing so much traveling [to my family in Virginia] that it’s going to be challenging,” he said. When visiting his family, he also said he hopes to lobby the Virginia legislature to repeal some of its own anti-gay marriage legislation. — JV The Utah Chapter of the Log Cabin Republicans meets at 7:30 p.m. on the first Tuesday of every month in the Salt Lake County Building, Room N4010.
Jail Developing Policy to Determine Sex by Rob Orton Salt Lake Sheriff Aaron Kennard has recently assigned Dave Sperry from Salt Lake Metro Jail to join the Public Safety Liaison Committee. Sperry has worked with prisoners for six years as part of the jail’s discipline unit and has served as computer liaison, and is now part of the Metro Jail processing classification unit. The classification unit is responsible for classifying prisoners to predict behavior and to segregate prisoners as necessary for safety. They will be reviewing and generating policies and procedures for classifying prisoners with regard to sexual identity, and to adopt more acceptable and accurate terms and measures to secure the safety and civil rights of all inmates, including transgender prisoners. Until a couple years ago, the jailers’ criteria for determining new inmates’ gender depended solely on detection of blood hormone levels. Since then, Sperry said, “We look at a broad spectrum of criteria.
We don’t just say, ‘you look like a girl, you look like a boy; there you go.’ We have had occasions where people have been placed contrary to their gender. We look at where they are in the transition process and where they can be placed for their safety.” Identification and segregation is based on whether an inmate identifies or can be identified as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, and whether their identity is mostly male or mostly female. Most often, inmates falling into these categories will be placed in protective custody. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender inmates are generally housed separately. They have separate out-of-cell time and separate shower access with closed doors to continue privacy. “We realize [privacy] is an issue. We also have the same provisions for our sex-crime people,” Sperry said. Average inmate stay is from five to 10 days and is increasing significantly. Most inmates are jailed for violent offenses or commitments by judges. This raises the concern for proper placement and segregation.
Notable Quotes “No one wants to discriminate against gays.” — Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, in support of a Constitutional amendment that would, actually, discriminate against gays.
“The Constitution should never be used as a political tool to divide Americans.” — Vice-Presidential candidate Sen. John Edwards, D-N.C., who opposed the amendment.
“Jenna Bush, the daughter of the president, is moving to New York City. She of course will be looking for margaritas of mass destruction.” — David Letterman
“President Bush likes to tease [his daughters’] boyfriends when they come over. And after he’s done teasing them, he has Donald Rumsfeld torture them.” — Jay Leno
“I call them girly-men.” — California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, referring to Democrats who refused to rubber-stamp his $103 billion spending plan.
“Less binge, more purge!” — Local wit “Donkey,” describing his alternative to the Atkins diet.
“I ask that in judging me, you remember all the good I have done.” — Style maven Martha Stewart, in a statement made July 16 immediately before her sentencing.
“The court needs to see through the sensational coverage that has depicted Martha Stewart as cold, uncaring, abusive, shrill, untrustworthy. She is warm, she is gracious, she is generous, she is caring.” — Robert Morvillo, Stewart’s lawyer.
“We look forward to continuing our mutually beneficial and successful relationship with Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia.” — Kmart Holding Co., in a statement issued after Stewart was sentenced to five months in prison.
Larsen: Officials Unlikely to Welcome Change in Youth Reporting Law by Rob Orton
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When the topic came up at a Liaison Committee meeting, representatives from police departments across the valley agreed that these are two separate issues, and the way the departments handle and process youth offenders will not be affected by the change. There are an estimated 500-600 homeless gay youth in Salt Lake area. Most youth who have fled or been kicked out of their homes are not in safe, regulated shelter environments — in many cases, such youth are forced to live in drug houses and other inappropriate shelters, or to go homeless. The policy change is believed to allow more time for youth to get to know shelter officials, building a stronger trust. This will allow a more productive intervention with the guardians and possibly more workable solutions. Proposed changes to emancipation law may further protect queer youth. These youth have a high incidence of home violence and rejection which makes their demographic more predisposed to the ramifications of reporting and emancipation.
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Public Safety Liaison Committee member and Equality Utah assistant program coordinator Missy Larsen recently met with Governor Walker to discuss some proposed changes in Youth Shelter Law and Emancipation Law. Currently, organizations which offer services to homeless youth are required to report the youth as runaways within eight hours. The proposed changes will increase the requirement to 24 hours, which is in line with the laws in most states. According to Larsen, the governor believes this will cause public contention in light of Utah’s newly adopted AMBER Alert system as part of a nationally adopted emergency notification program to help recover abducted children. Larsen said that Walker didn’t think that legislators and police officials would favor a change in the runaway reporting requirement. Since shelter admittance is a voluntary issue, the reporting law has been interpreted to apply to runaway and homeless youth.
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JULY 22, 2004
Remember Our Allies in the Culture Wars These last two weeks have seen a tremendous victory for gay and lesbian Americans — namely the Senate defeat of the Federal Marriage Amendment before it even came to a vote. But while this victory’s importance cannot be downplayed, gay and lesbian Americans and their allies should not rest on their laurels, because it’s a surefire bet that gay marriage opponents will not let the matter die on the senate floor. Although FMA’s sponsors (including Sen. Orrin Hatch) were only able to rally 48 of the 60 votes needed to permit the Senate to vote on approving or rejecting the amendment, the campaign to bring the FMA to an early vote was fraught with events that raise suspicion about these sponsors’ motives. Before the July 14 vote, only two proposed constitutional amendments in 25 years had passed the Senate Judiciary Committee for direct vote on the floor. Those amendments — one that would have abolished the Electoral College and another that would have placed restrictions on campaign finances — both addressed topics important to Congress and the federal government, not the private lives of American citizens. Indeed, Hatch’s position on the FMA is especially disheartening as Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., pointed out during the Senate debates. During the 1979 brouhaha over campaign finances, Hatch objected to a constitutional amendment being brought to the floor without first clearing the Constitution subcommittee and the Senate Judiciary Committee. “This is not the way to propose a constitutional amendment, and especially one that has the potential of altering the basic democratic federalism of the American political structure,” said Hatch. “To bypass the committee is, I think, to denigrate the committee process, especially when an amendment to the Constitu-
tion of the United States of America, the most important document in the history of the Nation, is involved.” The fact that the chairman of the Judiciary Committee himself could so easily forget what he said 25 years ago serves as a sobering reminder that gay marriage opponents feel so strongly about this amendment that they are not opposed to circumventing legislative policy to use the Constitution as a means to achieve social engineering. The fact that neoconservative groups such as the Traditional Values Coalition and Focus on the Family have vowed not to let the FMA die should also be a clarion call to gay and lesbian Americans to stand their ground in the coming years. Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council said, “We now know which senators are for traditional marriage and which ones are not, and by November, so will voters in every state. This fight has just begun.” Gays, lesbians and their straight allies should take these words to heart. In November we must remember the Democratic senators who, with few exceptions, unanimously opposed this measure on the floor last week. We should likewise remember the many courageous Republican senators who joined them in their opposition, who had the integrity to remain true to the (genuinely) conservative principles of federalism by voting against the FMA. In the next few months, unfortunately, the culture war over gay marriage will continue to divide a nation already heavily polarized along red and blue lines. During this time, we must not let our own political opinions divide us. Whether Democrat or Republican, Libertarian or Green, we are all in the fight to protect the constitution together.
From the Editor Inactivists Like Me by Brandon Burt Recently (as has been happening more and more lately) the topic of political activism came up in conversation. When a friend referred to “activists like us,” I immediately blurted out, “Well, of course, I’m not an activist.” This statement was met with a puzzled look. I attend rallies; I write my congressional representatives; when the opportunity arises, I speak out against homophobia, racism, sexism, classism, unbridled capitalism and every other evil -ism I can think of; I even donate to worthy campaigns on those occasions I’m not utterly broke — therefore, in my friend’s eyes, I was an activist. To her, my instinctive denial must have seemed a sign I was embarrassed to be labeled something as trite and cliché as an activist. And while it was embarrassment that prompted me to disclaim the label, it wasn’t because I was afraid of looking anachronistic (I’ve been an anachronism for years now) but because the word “activist” seemed like such an undeserved honor. Since my youth, I’ve had this image of activists — real activists — as people who live in apartments downtown, surrounded by placards, badge makers, stacks of leaflets and cleverly decorated gas masks, walls bare except for political posters and maybe a few unusual flags, cupboards likewise bare except for a half-empty box of herbal tea. Whereas I may have attended a few rallies, the real activists are the ones who organize those rallies. Rather than writing letters, they’re the ones who visit and sometimes even picket congressional representatives on my behalf. They don’t just speak out against the -isms, they create whole campaigns against them and they’re the ones who are manning the phone banks to accept contributors’ donations. Activists sacrifice almost all of life’s luxuries so that others can have a fair shake. They have dedicated their time to a cause greater than themselves, and they exist on a rarefied plain rarely glimpsed by the rest of us in our most altruistic moments. Indeed, it’s impossible for a mere human being to be an activist. In order to achieve that exalted state, one must be a saint, like Ghandi, Cesar Chavez or Rosa Parks. Since occasionally I allow myself to have a life and have even been known to eat something other than brown rice with mung beans (or, when feeling decadent, an occasional snow pea) I really have no right to call myself an activist. I’ve allowed whole evenings to slip by while I watched Hollywood movies — evenings that might have been productively spent designing crack-and-peel labels or soliciting donations for a guerilla campaign to flood Orrin Hatch’s office with tapioca pudding. I must admit, at times I’ve even neglected to show up for rallies because I was too hung over to bear the sound of loud chanting in that weird, echoey rotunda. In fact, I’m more what you might call an inactivist. Faced with the prospect of being a vibrant, self-actualizing human being, doing my part to make the world a better place, I would often rather go have a nice lie-down. It’s not hard to see what’s holding me back — other than a throbbing hangover, of course. Years ago, I set the bar, the bar that separates an activist from a mere mortal, too high. This is not to suggest that there are no saints in the human rights movement — quite the contrary. There really are people who organize the rallies, eat the mung beans and succeed in making Orrin Hatch’s life a living hell. But, really, there still have to be inactivists like me — otherwise, who would show up to the rallies, who would receive the personalized e-mails, who would wear the “Don’t Amend” badges? When society becomes radicalized (as it is increasingly becoming) the word “activist” becomes a badge of honor. But that doesn’t mean the rest of us must let some lofty image of what an activist is or isn’t hold us back from capitalizing on our strengths and doing what we can to help our movement achieve its goals. Even if it’s writing a few letters, showing up to rallies now and then, or even — gods forefend — getting our checkbooks out from time to time, there are a lot of little things we inactivists can accomplish. Even with a slight hangover.
Letters Photo Op
Alternative Options
Editor: How much more can Jim Matheson do to make sure that Democrats, especially those of us in the sexual minority, do not vote for him? He sides with President Bush on the same-sex marriage issue, sides with Republicans way too many times, and now decides to forego the Democratic National Convention. God save him if he is actually seen going into a place with a big “D” on it. People could be there with cameras! If Jim Matheson had wanted the Republican nomination, why didn’t he go to their state convention? Do you think he’ll be going to their national convention? I’m taking my camera.
Editor: Let me start by thanking Salt Lake Metro for its invaluable information. Each article is unique, thought-provoking and informative. I have been kept on the watch as well as entertained. This is not the first time we have seen the words race and equality head toward the ballot. This time, the race is not about the color of one’s skin: It is a game of LGBT folks battling against a foe that is spreading a hateful agenda — an agenda which ultimately could be harmful to ethnic and religious minorities as well. The problem with discrimination is that once it is set in motion, at some point it becomes nearly impossible to stop. We are lucky the Senate didn’t confirm the vote for the Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA). The foe, however, is already devising ways to be divisive in a country that professes to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” for all.
Sharon Briggs Brighton
Time Out for Laurie and Ruby Editor: I have seen your paper before, but today was the first time I took the time to read it. I enjoyed your columnists, but I have to tell you: Laurie Mecham was very, very good and I laughed out loud reading Ruby Ridge’s column. What a great way to start out the day! Thanks.
Marsha Abernethy Salt Lake City
Kudos From Across the Pond
Editor: Many thanks for sending me the copies of Salt Lake Metro. I am really impressed. I think the paper looks great and has lots of different articles and subjects. London’s morning paper is also called “Metro.” Freaky or what? I especially liked your editorial about TV [“Killing My Television,” Brandon Burt, May 27, 2004]. I hope the paper continues to do really well.
Caroline Rathbone London, England
Hot Newspaper ... and Editor Editor: Since I don’t get out much, I really like the mag. By the way — is the editor single?
Tom Zakis Salt Lake City
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author of Oklahoma’s “Defense of Marriage Act” who was charged with a felony after grabbing a woman’s buttocks and a few other choice acts while carousing in a bar. To be fair, hypocrisy and abuse of power certainly aren’t restricted to one side of the aisle. The liberal folks also have their fill of sanctimonious windbags, complete with designer accoutrements. Just ask Bill O’Reilly — or not. Politics aside, the truth is still the truth, no matter how you spin it and some issues cannot be ignored, regardless of your ideology. Integrity, honesty, and ethics are neither conservative nor liberal. Working toward positive social change and improved quality of life is as much a moral as it is a political issue. The best way to bring that about is to employ the greatest of American liberties: individual free thinking. Power brokers would like nothing more than to tell us what to believe, to assuage our collective angst with empty promises, knowing full well that if we’re reassured with benevolent smiles and narcotic whispers long enough, they will move unopposed not just behind closed doors, but in full view. Of course, we can continue to relegate topics like education, family, and marriage to the realm of conservative politics. As long as that is the case though, we will continue to participate vicariously in other people’s celebrations and the lives of their children and the legacy we leave will continue to diminish until it is but an epitaph.
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Coming of age in Zion, one of my favorite bumper stickers read: “Welcome to Utah — you may now turn your clocks back 25 years.” In my naiveté, I went off to college in Maryland, thinking I was breaking free of what I thought was the equivalent of an ideological iron curtain that held hundreds of thousands of innocents hostage in some backward land. St. John’s College in Annapolis has taught from the Great Books since 1696, expounding classical philosophy and opening minds to lofty thoughts that have stood the test of time — but I didn’t go to that truly great bastion of free thinking. I missed the turn and went straight into Gate One of the U.S. Naval Academy, situated literally across the street. Four years later, I had been thoroughly indoctrinated into lock-step conservative thinking and I even shook Ronald Reagan’s hand at my commencement. Yup. Institutions breed politics. It should come as no surprise that the vast majority of servicemen and women identify themselves as conservative. They’re taught to think that way, persuaded to vote for Republican candidates through inference and peer pressure. Besides, Republicans purportedly spend more on defense and the price for admission to the military E-ticket ride is the sacrifice of individual thinking. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain who is actually cutting spending on the service member and slashing veteran benefits. Every soldier takes an oath to support and defend the Constitution, the foundation of American free expression — yet to publicly speak out in favor of a political candidate or against a commander invites disciplinary action. Likewise, so many churchgoers amazingly support conservative politicians who openly oppose social programs designed to help those in need. Everyone knows the story of the “Good Samaritan,” yet ask most churchgoing folk what part they play and precious few of them will have actually done something charitable in recent history. Hey, that’s what tithing is all
about, right? That’s a religious way of saying, “I pay my taxes.” Don’t want to dirty those hands now, do we? Contrary to popular Utah opinion, liberalism does not attack traditional family values. If it weren’t for government social programs, some families wouldn’t have survived recent economic downturns, let alone the Great Depression. What’s more, it has sought to embrace family’s expanding definition as the traditional model would otherwise shun it as shameful or illegitimate. If it weren’t for liberal-minded leaders, black Americans would still be riding in the back of the bus, women’s issues would be on the back burner, and the speak-easy would be open for business in the back alley. Along the same lines, conservatism is not the paragon of virtue, despite the assertions of Sutherland Institute president Paul Mero who, in a recent op ed piece in The Salt Lake Tribune, publicly defended a blatant conflict of interest while simultaneously insisting that “people of integrity will be thoughtful and objective [to overcome personal bias].” People of integrity recuse themselves from situations that might merely be perceived as conflicts of interest. We can’t forget our conservative Salt Lake County officials who took the plunge into hot water over their liberal use of gasoline. Nor should we overlook the
Sugarhouse
SALT LAKE METRO
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Confessions of a Reformed Conservative
condone this evil amendment. What would really surprise me is if the majority here could show compassionate Christians what being a genuine Christian is all about: love. In light of recent events, it seems our foes are conquered but that they are only strategically creating another way to implement their plan to amend the U.S. Constitution. We need to set our sights on our own record — to enjoy the wins we have pinned on our maps while strategically planning to include more than just the LGBT community in defeating the amendment to the Utah Constitution. Furthermore, Utah needs savvy and diligent pioneers from the home team to challenge those who advocate hateful agendas. Maybe Bruce Bastian should run for Congress against our local choices and offer an interesting alternative for Utah voters. I’ll keep an eye out for the 24-hour promise Dr. Ken Larson included in your write-up about his candidacy. Every friend I know will hear about the vote and the trust I am placing in him. Without Salt Lake Metro, I may not have heard about him so easily.
JULY 22, 2004
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It can be easy to roll over and think our work as Americans, who value equality, is done. This is not about a certain group of people voting “yea” or “nay” on an issue affecting only the LGBT community. The recent FMA proposal is one that has the potential to harm every individual, every family and every community over time. Who knows how the Supreme Court would interpret such an Amendment if it is enacted? People like Scott McCoy and the Don’t Amend Alliance remind Utah residents that our voices and votes are needed, heard and valued. Every vote is recorded and documented. Every American who believes in equality should vote in Utah against amending our own constitution. We must keep the train moving forward. It is becoming clear to me that even in Utah, “alternative” is an option. Isn’t this what our dominant and local religion professes: the freedom for each individual to choose? Only Satan himself, the figure of evil in Mormon mythology, wanted to limit the rights of each human being according to Mormon doctrine. The conservative vote then is also one of hypocrisy if the members of the LDS Church
AberRant Creative Juices by Laurie Mecham
The, um, Team — the Teamsters have just come onto the, um, playing area. Arena. Courtyard. Field. Wow, their upper arms are amazing! No jiggle at all. Do you think it’s because they’re toned, or just because they still have collagen? Anyway … Great hand-for-an-eye coordination. Ooh, that one can run clear to the end of the line without peeing down her own leg!
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So I’ve written a few columns now. I’ve learned a couple of things. For example, never submit a draft early, because either (a) it will get lost (not always a bad thing) or (2) you will revise it an hour later and it will be much, much better, but when you submit the ideal version, the editor will inform you that they’ve already laid out the whole newspaper, just within that hour. I’ve learned that if I want feedback from my partner, I’d better get it before I submit the article, because I don’t want to hear it once the damn thing has already been published. This whole undertaking is new territory for me. I’m used to being a smartass — but only a live smartass, where you can gauge the reaction of the listener immediately. It’s hell having to wait until someone finally says, “Hey, I read your last article in the Metro, and … 1 — “I love your work!” 2 — “I’m here to stage an intervention,” 3 — “You are a lying sack of shit,” or 4 — “That’s why I bought this gun.” Anyhoo, this here is a thing I wrote as the whole adventure was beginning: I ran into the Salt Lake Metro office to sign in blood that I would pay for an ad. I met Jeff, their/our advertising representative. He saw that I had been talking with Brandon, the editor. “Oh, you’re writing for us, too?” “Yeah.” “So, what are you writing?” “Oh, just rants, I guess.” “Ah! Political commentary?” “Well, sure, sometimes. Or not.” “You’re writing a column?” “I think so.” “Opinion pieces?” “Um, yeah, I think that’s it.” “So it will be a regular feature?” “Oh, hell, I don’t know.” Then Chad the publicist came back to his desk. Brandon said he needed to get me a W-9 form. “Oh, you’re writing for us, too?” asked Chad. “Yeah.” “Will it be a regular column?” “I don’t know.” “Are you covering women’s sports?” Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Oh, that would be good:
So, anyway, apparently I will be writing these rants or commentaries or whatever they are about subjects yet to be determined. And you get to find out what they are! If you read them, that is. And if I write them, of course. I’m really wondering who my audience is, assuming there is one. So, this is a gay paper. Will my lesbian Sistern relate? Clearly, I will not be covering sports. I’m more likely to be concerned about my appearance and just how bad does
my ass look, anyway? I think the gay boys may relate more to that, but I’m not even sure. My partner has known far more gay men far more intimately than I have. She uses terms like “popped his cherry” without batting an eye, causing me to reach for The Lavender Dictionary. I used to do this comedy performance where I was a relief society president. I performed in front of a gay audience years ago and, as usual, I was improvising quite a bit. I had a few tame gay jokes along the lines of, “I do cherish and appreciate the love which the Priesthood in this ward has one for another.” During that performance, I said something that got a huge laugh. To this day, I have no idea what I said, and furthermore, whatever the joke was, I didn’t get it at the time, either. I’d really like to hear a recording to see if I might get it now. Come to think of it, the sponsors promised to give me a copy, but they never did. Oh, I’m easily tricked. I get distracted and forget the details. It’s my own fault for not paying more attention, for not being more discerning. Well, you know what they say. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, look at the birdie! This writing thing is exciting, though. I can’t wait for things like “writer’s block”. It will be exciting to go through the phases. You can follow along and check it out in my writing. Perhaps we can have an online poll: Was this column written in (a) a drunken haze, (b) a coffee-induced near-seizure, or (c) a suicidal cry for help? Hmm, I wonder how good you have to be before you can get writer’s block? Could there be such things as “amateur’s block” or “poser’s block?” We should know soon. You can participate in this experiment too! You could write with your questions. I would give great answers — for example, “Yes he’s gay! Duh” or “Two weeks and she’s ready to move in? One word for you: boundaries.” The great thing about this proposition is that between my partner and me, no matter what the question is, one of us is always right. I do have concerns about writing. A writer is supposed to find her “voice.” I don’t think I want to find my voice. I don’t think I’ll like it. What if it’s squeaky and obnoxious? I mean, I fully intend to offend some of the people some of the time, but hopefully I won’t piss off any of my beloved fags and dykes. I think my voice will be unsteady at first, like the voices of pubescent males. But there are worse things. I mean, on a boy’s very worst day of vocal squeak, he still is never in danger of being the last to discover a fresh blood stain on the seat of his white pants. Well, most boys, anyway. But I digress. Perhaps digression is part of my voice. I’d rather have David Sedaris’s voice, or that of the oft-sanctioned-by-Hearst-publishers Mark Morford, or any of the writers for The Onion. To me, if you say “writer” or “author,” you think of someone like J.K. Rowling or Bob Woodward or Orrin Hatch, the talented son-of-a-gun who wrote Square Peg. You say “goofball,” you say “impertinent pottymouth,” you think Laurie Mecham. So if this writing thing works out, I will be very pleased. But first, you have to be pleased. At least some of you. And if you’re not pleased, you should say so. Fool you once, shame on me. Fool you twice, the mice will play. Laurie Mecham wears women’s underwear.
Sane Advice Retraining Our Guard Dogs by Jim Struve and Lee Beckstead
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Lee Beckstead, PhD; Lynette Malmstrom, LCSW; LaDonna Moore, LCSW; and Jim Struve, LCSW are all private practice psychotherapists in Salt Lake City.
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This week’s column begins with a story, reprinted in the words of the author: A man I knew as a child kept two ferocious Dobermans at his side. He’d grown up in a slum, where the family had kept them for protection. Now, as an adult, he was doing well. He lived in a building with doormen, but somehow having two dogs — the descendents of his early protector — remained important to him. Visitors often found the dogs disconcerting and would ask him to lock them away in a back room, but he could no more do that than starve them if they whimpered for his company. After all, they were protecting him at other times — at least, so he felt. However, when he suffered a heart attack at forty, and the emergency medical services rushed to his aid, the snarling Dobermans kept the doctors from him, and the poor man died. These very agents of defense had served him so successfully under the adverse conditions that he could not dismiss them. And because he could not, the dogs themselves caused his death at an early age. Many of us in the gay and lesbian community grow up experiencing the world around us as dangerous. Therefore, it is understandable that many of us develop survival behaviors that provide us with protection just like the guard dogs in the preceding story. For example, we may learn to live a “double life” in which our public persona of heterosexuality becomes a guard dog to protect the secrets of our true identity. Or we may condition ourselves not to risk genuine intimacy, using the guard dog of emotional isolation to protect our heart from getting hurt. Or, painful experiences with betrayal may prompt us to acquire the guard dog of self-sufficiency. “Guard dogs” may have been necessary for our sanity and our survival as we grew up in homophobic communities. Our guard dogs may have remained important allies as we graduated into an adult world that is permeated by heterosexism. Along the way many of us may have also discovered our genuine sexuality and found the supportive resources to allow us to come out. Like the man in the story, many of us may have moved out of our private slum of fear and secrecy, transforming our lives and reducing the immediate threats to our safety. Although coming out may feel like an act of personal liberation, living as an openly gay person can also be an unfamiliar experience. As our lives change — hopefully for the better — most of us probably keep the guard dogs from our previous life. It is natural that we would keep our guard dogs even as we build new lives within the increased safety of our communities. For so many years these guard dogs may have been our best friends, our reliable allies in times of danger, a familiar source of comfort and security, and a source of strength and courage during episodes of crisis. So what are we supposed to do with them?
The simple answer: As we succeed in creating new surroundings for ourselves, it becomes critical that we tame or retrain our guard dogs. However, the real-life process of accomplishing such lifestyle changes may not be simple. Changing longstanding and familiar survival tools can be difficult. For example, perhaps you developed the survival strategy of living a double life. You have since accepted your true sexuality and have come out to yourself and others, and you have finally met somebody for an intimate relationship. It’s not hard to imagine how your continued proclivity to live a double life could undermine your efforts to establish genuine intimacy with your new partner. To fully experience the potential of your new relationship will probably require that you curtail a behavior that has previously been a fundamental survival skill. Take time to recognize the survival strategies you have acquired. Identify the life circumstances that necessitated you to develop such coping skills. Then, reflect on the following considerations as you ponder this week’s topic: • Evaluate the ongoing purpose of each guard dog that still occupies an active place in your life. Honestly assess where they still provide legitimate protection and where there is the possibility for retraining. For example, if you are employed in a homophobic work environment, it may be necessary to camouflage your true identity. However, you may be more successful in your personal relationships if you leave your dual-identity guard dog in a back room when you are relating with a partner or your closest friends outside of work. • If you find that aspects of your social world remain unsafe even though you have embraced your true sexual identity, consider making environmental changes. Is it possible to move to a neighborhood that is more accepting? Is it feasible to secure a different job where your lifestyle is respected or is a non-issue? Environments that support your efforts to be genuine may allow you to modify your guard dog of isolation. • Practice mindful awareness. In other words, learn to differentiate your experience in the present from memories of past incidents and from worries of future scenarios. Preoccupation with the past or future may cause you to employ any of your guard dogs in a situation that does not pose any real current danger. An inability to focus on the present can also blind us to the reality of safety that is already available. There is a time and a place for guard dogs. Depending upon our willingness to manage them, there is an equal possibility that they can be helpful or harmful. Unlike the man in the story, it is possible to retrain our guard dogs so that we remain safe and secure.
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A Thousand Words Family Belongings by Scott Perry
And thus was born the family outcast. I may not have been cut out for the hunt, but shuffling through these photos helped me realize that the family hadn’t shunned me. I had shunned them. Like Grandpa wandering silently to shoot a lone buck or perfect sunset, I set out alone aiming for my own forms of peace and beauty. Looking at his photo of a kid fishing at a lake, I hear the whistle of the wind through the rushes. I smell the damp, squeaky straw of a fishing creel. These were the images he captured. That’s the Grandpa I remember. Looking at the world as an outsider, whether through a camera lens or the distance of self-imposed exile, you can make the time to really see. Grandpa and I had something in common after all. These are the thoughts that filled my head as we slipped the gate and trunk of photos into the minivan and left Bishop Place for the last time. It was quiet except for Ruth clicking her flashlight on and off and the clatter of shovels behind the back seat. I had lost a grandpa — but discovered a new sense of belonging.
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Harry Bishop was a shooter. At his funeral last spring, his grandsons stepped to the podium to tell of the times they shared. “Grandpa was with me when I shot my first duck,” my cousin Matt recalled. “Grandpa told me to shoot a snipe,” said Wade, another cousin, “because it was sitting still and would be pretty hard to miss.” One by one, they told how he thought of hunting and fishing as art forms. Whether he was bagging a deer or a drake, they said he was a man with a sharp eye and a steady finger. I listened to each one and was surrounded with the quiet isolation that I usually feel when I am with this side of my family. Their childhood remembrances were so remote from my own. I wish I had known the same Harry Bishop that they did. My cousins finished speaking. I stepped to the podium for my contribution. I was asked to sing a song since I am considered the “artsy” one of the family. I am not a hunter. I haven’t fished since I was 12. I always felt like the outcast, so their invitation made me feel like a guest artist rather than a family member: Because he called the forest brother. Because he called the earth his mother. My legs quaked like aspens as friends and family sat still. When I finished I took my place next to Aunt Ruth. She hugged and thanked me — I guess I did okay. Later, I learned that some were moved by the words, others were shocked that I could sing, and the others just wondered who I was. Later that evening we went to Grandpa’s house. He had moved from his house on Bishop Place a year or so before, but there were things to attend to. The rickety gate from the picket fence would mean more to Mom than to the next homeowner. My brother had spoken for the china cabinet. Ruth grabbed and old flashlight and Frank, my stepfather, retrieved some rusty garden tools from the shed. Everyone was looking for a last belonging to remember him by. Ruth and Elaine led me to the tiny bedroom they shared with Mom and Sandi. A handmade wooden trunk coated with generations of paint (forest green being the most recent) sat beneath the dusty sill of the lone window. “Here’s what you want,” said Ruth. My Grandpa was a shooter. His sharp eye and steady finger captured Utah through a camera — an image of a bait-laden hook as it plunged into Smith and Morehouse Reservoir, turning its glassy surface into a sea of ripples. I can still hear the hollow kerplunk. He shot portraits of Salt Lake’s prominent and colorful — as well as humdrum product photography for Utah’s early advertising execs. He began his career as a photographer with C.R. Savage, at that time the area’s most renowned photographer. He shot and developed photos for Fred Wilkes, Utah Photo, and Hal Rumel Studios until he retired in 1965. Nearly 50 years of his life were spent peering through a camera and the countless trays of developer fluid had stained his fingertips gold.
A good part of his life was in that trunk — a good part of my life was in there, too. I saw the young faces of women I knew only as little old ladies and uncles I had only known by a name. We sifted through the damp, yellow envelopes. Some of the prints had been hand-tinted by my grandma in the early part of their marriage. Some negatives had melted — probably from the heat of the glove box in their 1950 Ford — others were fused together by water from years of leaky roofs. Most of the images were of my mom and her sisters. (Sandi, the youngest and cutest, received the most exposure.) I came across a print of my grandma, Dorothy, sitting on the front porch of their cabin in Oakley. She and Grandpa had been best friends since they were twelve years old. As a kid, I spent many summer afternoons at the cabin. Chewing on caramels and Fig Newtons, Grandma and I watched the birds from that porch as they nibbled seed from the feeders in the quakies. My favorite memory is when Matt and I lazily floated on inner tubes down the canal that ran alongside the Weber River. Sunburned and waterlogged, we sauntered back to the cabin where we spent the rest of the day reading old issues of Mad magazine. That’s when I unleashed a sense of humor and twisted view of the world that would become my most recognizable trait. I slept overnight that Saturday — my first sleepover — and discovered that I had a family beyond that of my own four walls. The cabin is also where my brother Dave, my cousin Wade, and I hiked along the bridle trail, looking for watercress and chasing squirrels with bows and arrows. At the end of our adventure, we’d return to the cabin, heading straight for the water pump. Lifting the baked enamel mug from the nail on the post, we’d fill it with a gush of ice cold water. We always underestimated the pressure of that pump and would get soaked with a splash that took our breaths away. In the pasture across the road, a horse named Pam, who belonged to the Koesters, seemed to be laughing at us as she whinnied into the breeze. In another envelope, I found a series of negatives. They were our annual family portraits taken at the Lakefront Gun Club. I held each negative to the filtered light of the window, I watched our family grow and disappear at the same time. The gun club and cabin were like night and day. The shade of the aspens gave way to salty sagebrush and a scorching sun. Our family had gathered in that one-room clubhouse every Easter since the beginning of time — at least my time. From our benches of planks and overturned buckets, we’d gaze down the long dirt road. One by one, each family arrived in a cloud of swirling dust and gravel, just in time for our traditional Easter dinner of Kentucky Fried Chicken, potato salad and Oreos. Once in a while a grown-up would even sneak us a swig of Coors. We’d paddle in beat-up fishing boats, usually getting stuck in the shallow spots, and scream for an uncle or older cousin to rescue us. Our Easter egg hunts seemed more authentic than those of my friends. The jackrabbits we watched run through the brush really were the Easter Bunny (so we were told) hiding bags of eggs and Hershey’s Kisses.
But softball games were the highlight. With about 30 players per team, we used cow-pies and mud puddles for bases. The late night ka-thumps of our sneakers in the dryer, clean for school the next morning, comes back to me still as I drift off to a lullaby of tumbling dress shirts and dish towels. The family spent countless chilly mornings sitting in duck blinds at the club, shotguns in hand, just waiting to bag a honker or a pintail. Here is where Wade bagged his snipe. I had a snipe experience, too — my only hunt with Grandpa. He wanted nothing more than to have me succeed my first time out. He pointed to a sitting snipe and nudged me. It was a sure-fire trophy. I aimed, I winced and I pulled the trigger. The morning sky shattered with the spray of a billion BBs. All I knew was that my shoulder hurt like hell. “Hey! That’s keen!” Grandpa hooted, “Get out there and pick him up.” The memory of sloshing through the marsh to fetch that innocent bird, dead by my hand, was a far cry from running through our muddy softball field the spring before.
Ruby Ridge Living Filling a Niche by Ruby Ridge Pumpkins, can I tell you how much I love the entrepreneurial spirit? A few days ago I was reading an article in The Salt Lake Tribune about a former prison inmate who, after his release from jail, started a successful consulting business coaching white-collar criminals to survive in a prison environment. How cool is that? With all of the post-Enron/Tyco/Global-Crossing accounting fiascos, and the ongoing scandals in Salt Lake County government, it’s the perfect time for an orientation program for soft cons. The Tribune’s savvy entrepreneur coaches future prisoners about contraband and the prison economy, avoiding fights, daily routines and procedures, and the more banal aspects of prison life. But he doesn’t address the most troubling aspect of incarceration for nonviolent offenders in the general prison population — the prospect of prison sex! Now let’s be honest: The whole prison sex fantasy is so compelling, it can make us gay folks ignore bad lighting and cheap production values in porn movies and justify shelling out the extra bucks for HBO. The idea of hundreds of sweaty
heterosexual and typically unobtainable men confined with no sexual outlet is a really potent fantasy — almost as good as the fantasy where Randy Harmon isn’t wearing anything under his butcher apron and he has to lean over the freezer case to get me the brisket that’s on sale from the bottom shelf. (Oh my heck, I just love that one!) But for non-violent, white-collar criminals, the prospect of savage prison sex makes Ned Beatty’s rape in Deliverance seem like a slow, elaborate courting ritual. Many white collar criminals are just not prepared for that type of sexual violation — which is where, darlings, I believe I could be of invaluable service. I want to help them face their most terrifying fears and fill their niche (as it were). The Ruby Ridge Prison Sex Training and Orientation Program (Prison Sex TOP) would prepare and coach potential inmates for the inevitable poke in the pokey. I think if I started coaching an inmate as soon as he filed his appeal, I could have him broken in, loosened up and fearless by his sentencing — even one of those fiscally conservative Republicans who are supposed to be so tight-assed. Unlike our typically crowded Utah classrooms, the Prison Sex TOP program would work one-on-one with students. Orientation would begin with a quiet dinner at Red Lobster, and after a few cocktails I would begin the curriculum with Anatomy 101 using calamari rings and bread sticks as a compelling and slightly terrifying visual aid. After learning the fundamentals of physiology and physics (especially where an irresistible force meets an immobile object) and a crosscultural and historical study of the world’s lubricants, it’s time for home study. With so much new information to assimilate, it might take a while for them to wrap their head around some things, but eventually after a few months of pounding theory and cramming for finals, my graduates would have the cargo-carrying capacity of a Ford Explorer and the intestinal crash rating of a Volvo. I’m not going to say where their graduation tassel will be.
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JULY 22, 2004
The Ruby Ridge Prison Sex Training and Orientation Program would prepare and coach potential inmates for the inevitable poke in the pokey.
Ruby Ridge is one of the more opinionated members of the Utah Cyber Sluts, a camp drag group of performers who raise funds and support local charities. Her opinions are her own and fluctuate wildly due to election-year stress and hormonal imbalances.
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JULY 22, 2004
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PLEASE PLACE THIS WINDOW SIGN PROMINENTLY
JULY 22, 2004
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NO on Amendment 3 Part 1 is Completely Unnecessary
Part 1 defines marriage as “between a man and a woman.” This definition has already been adopted three different places in Utah law. This has been the definition of marriage for the last 25 years. Defining it again is unnecessary.
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JULY 22, 2004
Part 2 Hurts Real Families
Part 2 prevents same-sex partners from being given any basic rights of “substantially equivalent legal effect” to those given to married couples. This means that same-sex couples in committed, long-term relationships can never receive any of the more than 1,000 legal rights and protections provided to married couples. We’re talking about basic rights, such as the ability to visit one’s partner in the hospital, make medical emergency decisions or funeral arrangements. The amendment would also deny same-sex couples health insurance benefits currently offered by many prominent Utah employers.
by Mandy Q. Racer
“The problem is not as simple as the upper-incomes versus the lower-incomes. It’s a problem of one culture taking over another.”
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Keith Boykin is a Harvard Law graduate and former Special Assistant to President Clinton — at that time, the highest-ranking openly gay person in the Clinton administration. His words split open the issue of gentrification, and exposed the conflicted center of what is usually touted as positive change. Gentrification is loosely defined as the arrival of a new, wealthier population in a poor neighborhood — which they then rehabilitate. The newcomers purchase and renovate existing homes, raising property values in the process. Babs De Lay, a Utah real estate agent with twenty years in the business, points to Capitol Hill as an example. During the 1960s, she said, the Avenues were rundown hangouts for hippies and the Victorian homes were often torn down. With the development of the Historical Society and preservation groups, the houses were protected. The Capitol Hill area didn’t benefit from these changes, and was soon filled with “lots of rentals and lots of run-down properties.” However, De Lay said that people were surprised and “took notice” when a gay restaurant owner bought a home in Capitol Hill; they soon followed suit. “Gay people tend to move into neighborhoods that are gentrifying and changing,” she said. They will purchase and redo the homes, “generally with good taste,” resell and therefore drive up the property values. Sounds fabulous, yes? It depends on whom you ask. Filmmakers Linda Goode Bryant and Laura Poitras produced and directed the PBS Point of View documentary “Flag Wars.” The film follows four
years of conflict as experienced by a Columbus, Ohio neighborhood undergoing gay-driven gentrification at the expense of the older, black population. Film critic Tobias Peterson sums up the conflict: “One by one, black families move out to make way for gay whites, who then renovate the houses and drive up property taxes — making it even harder for African Americans to remain.” The film ends with the stark image of prospective white buyers perusing a vacant home, picking through the possessions of the previous owner, Linda Mitchell, who had refused to sell and had fought the courts and real estate agents until her death. Boykin, a black gay male, experienced this process first hand. He moved into Washington D.C.’s multicultural Logan Circle in 1994, “when property values were affordable and it wasn’t unusual to find a prostitute on the street late at night.” Thanks to gentrification, over the next five or six years, Logan Circle’s colorful ethnicity was steadily bled out to white. Dupont Circle, the heavily gay and extremely expensive area to the west of Logan Circle, carried too hefty a price tag for most homebuyers, so white gay men purchased property in Logan Circle, making the area unaffordable for its previous residents. The complexities of gay-driven gentrification require that one not discount its positive effects — especially that of a neighborhood’s beautification. A straight escrow officer who has been in real estate for 15 years (and who asked that his name not be printed here), commented on the possible stereotyping of gay men as great renovators and decorators: “We can talk in these general terms; we can talk these urban legends, but are there gay and lesbian people who trash their houses? Yes.” However, a large majority of gay male couples do renovate their homes. Their difference from other homebuyers? Children. The escrow officer said that gay male couples are termed DINKs: “Dual Income, No Kids.” He conceded the fact that some gay men have children, but, speaking of those who don’t, he said, “Kids trash houses. Kids are very, very expensive. If you live in an adult house [a home with no children] and you fix something, it stays fixed.”
FEATURE
Salt Lake Metro is involved in the community! Get involved with us: Be a Metro Kid! Salt Lake Metro is seeking children of gay or alternative families for Metro Pals! Each child will be assigned a dynamic community leader to pen pal with for a year. Kids in the program will also get special discounts at youth-oriented facilities and events, as well as receive a birthday greeting, and be invited to special Metro Kid Parties! Gay and Alternative Parents—Enroll you kid today. Open to kids grade to high school. Must be willing to correspond with a pen pal
Seeking Metro Artist
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Salt Lake Metro and the Peery Hotel have teamed up to feature gay artists during the Gallery Stroll. Experienced over-the-top artists in all mediums encouraged to submit their portfolio for consideration. Show to be groups or individual artist, and most art pieces for the artist must be available for sale.
Metro Storyteller Troupe Are you an interestingly talented person who loves to perform and bring joy to kids? Salt Lake Metro is seeking actors and actresses who would like to join the Metro Storytelling Troupe for monthly performances for kids of all ages at local book stores and libraries. Contact our office today!
Seeking Performance Artists and Musicians of all Kinds Salt Lake Metro has a variety of events coming up that require a variety of performance Talent. Get in on the action with your band, your acting skills or performance troupe. Send your CD or Video today!
For more information, call 801-323-9500.
With a sardonic look, he drew the point the carpet, the bathroom; I ripped out home: “They’re men.” The financial math sinks, flooring. I basically had a shell and leaves little to the imagination. I just put it all back together.” Pacheco De Lay would agree. “Generally, men performed the renovations himself at the have better jobs. Yeah, we still lose, cost of about $4,000. The work was more whether we’re gay or straight.” than worth it: “My value has probably It begins to make sense that gay, white gone up about $20,000,” he said, noting men are at the forefront of this movethe fact that he “got a good deal” on the ment. Generally speaking, this group house to begin with. represents the wealthiest members of Sugarhouse is known for its libthe gay community. The benefits they eral neighborhoods. “That was one bring to these run-down neighborhoods of the main reasons why I moved to — growth, beautification, value — are Sugarhouse: It’s a gay mecca,” Pacheco oftentimes desperately said. He refused to move needed. A community that into a “cookie cutter” neighundergoes gentrification borhood where “you really attracts new restaurants, can’t express yourself with The escrow coffee shops and jobs, and your home.” De Lay often experiences an increase in fields this same request officer said productivity and creativity. — gay and lesbian prospecthat gay “Technology and Tolertive homebuyers frequently ance: the Importance of about listings in gay male couples ask Diversity to High-Technolneighborhoods. “You just ogy Growth,” a study carried want to be around your are termed out by Richard Florida and kind,” De Lay said. DINKs: “Dual own Gary Gates, asserts that the Not surprisingly, this deexistence of gays within a sire has remained constant Income, metropolitan area “signal[s] throughout gay history. Ben No Kids.” a diverse and progressive Williams, cofounder of the environment that fosters Utah Stonewall Historical the creativity and innovaSociety, remembers fondly tion necessary for success in the experience of living in high-tech industry. Gays are frequently “gay ghettos” 20 or more years ago. “The cited as harbingers of redevelopment Salt Lake City Gay ghetto in the 1970s to and gentrification in distressed urban late 1980s was from the lower Avenues to neighborhoods.” about 500 South, 200 East to about 700 Salt Lake’s own mayor, Ross C. “Rocky” East.” Within these boundaries, Williams Anderson, cites Florida’s writing and he, said, “bookstores, health clinics, food too, acknowledges the gay community’s stores, newspapers were geared for the value. In his June 16 speech to the Down- Queer community and no one gave a town Merchants Association, he said, rat’s ass what hets might think.” “The communities that are economically The term ghetto is as explosive as the thriving and that enjoy the greatest ecoword queer, if not more so, given its 400nomic sustainability are those that are year history. The Oxford English Dicwelcoming and hospitable to all people tionary cites its first usage in 1611 and — people of all faiths, all races, different its meaning as: “The quarter in a city, sexual orientations and all economic chiefly in Italy, to which the Jews were situations.” restricted.” This denotation has been One can’t discount the gains reaped by firmly affixed to the word throughout its gay-driven gentrification: they are exemhistory — notoriously so in 1940, when plified in the beauty of the Marmalade the Germans issued a decree establishDistrict as well as that of the Ninth and ing a ghetto in Warsaw, Poland. Ninth area. And what of these so-called According to the United States Hologayborhoods? In terms of the gay comcaust Memorial Museum, “The decree munity, isn’t their presence — and, for required all Jewish residents of Warsaw those who can afford it, the experience of to move into a designated area …The living within them — invaluable? ghetto was enclosed by a wall that was Felipe Pacheco loves owning a home on over ten feet high, topped with barbed his “happy little street,” which is located wire.” Jews were allowed out of the just west of Liberty Park. “There are actughetto only when being deported to the ally two older gay couples on my street Treblinka extermination camp. and both their yards are just immaculate,” These chilling images are woven he said, laughing. In all, Pacheco’s immeinextricably throughout the term, diate neighborhood houses two couples, which now also means, as De Lay said, three single men, and the new offices of “Poverty stricken. Blighted.” She is fully the gay-owned Rainbow Realty. All are gay opposed to the use of the word, and men, and all but Pacheco, who is Hisprefers instead the much lighter gaypanic, are white. “I never thought of that,” borhood. “Ghetto has such a negative Pacheco mused. connotation,” De Lay said. “We have gay Pacheco purchased his home in Ocneighborhoods here; they’re certainly tober of 2002 and since then, he has ennot blighted. Ninth and Ninth is not tirely gutted and redone the main floor. blighted. Capitol Hill is not blighted. I “The house, when I bought it, was in rethink it’s more common to hear the word ally rough shape. I ripped everything out: gayborhood than ghetto.”
Club Panini is a private club for members
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Speed dating is the answer: Each date lasts three minutes. Write down anyone you’d like to see again on a scorecard. We will provide email details of any mutual matches. That’s it!
SALT LAKE METRO
Have you ever been on a blind date where within three minutes you wanted to escape? Or perhaps you’ve tried Internet dating and spent weeks swapping emails only to find there’s no spark when you meet face-to-face. Or maybe, like a lot of people, you just don’t meet other single people through your work or immediate circle of friends.
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MONDAY, AUGUST 2 – 7pm Club Panini, 299 S. Main Street
JULY 22, 2004
gay people.” “[If you were to] see a ghetto in New A Salt Lake real estate agent (who York City, and then you were to come back to Salt Lake and say, ‘Show me a asked to remain anonymous) has experienced first hand the reality behind the ghetto,’ you couldn’t. There’s nothing like it. We don’t have streets full of trash. too-simplified model of gay gentrificaWe don’t have tagging [gang graffiti] on tion. Since he and his partner purchased virtually every single house and every a home in downtown Salt Lake two years single doorstep. We don’t have streets ago, they have funneled $15,000 into its and streets of abandoned housing that renovation. However, the neighborhood are crack houses. We have tiny areas like is in such bad shape they worry that that but not ghettos — so I don’t like they will not see a return on the restorathat term,” De Lay said, stubbing out her tions when they sell their home in the cigarette definitively. future. “We can’t put a penny more into Williams sticks to his guns: “The it. We would’ve renovated the second ghetto concept in the 1980s had a politifloor, but we’re not going to get it back.” cal meaning: safety in numbers and all Their neighborhood is full of rentals that. In Priscilla, Queen of that house drug dealers the Desert, they capture the and pimps. “There was a meaning when he says that prostitution ring bust on the gay urban community With a sardonic my street a week ago today,” protects homosexuals from he said, exasperated. look, he drew the heteros of suburbia. These men are not the The same people who had a only gay homeowners in the the point home: area, but these homes are problem with ghetto usually “They’re men.” spread further apart than felt the same [about] queer. Empowerment [means] in Pacheco’s neighThe financial those taking words and reshaping borhood. The agent and his them to define ourselves.” math leaves partner have noticed gay “To build community,” flags flying on a couple of little to the Williams continued, “it homes a block away and was necessary to gather imagination. he said, “If you see a gay together. I personally think flag, it’s typically the most people my age feel somebeautiful house on the thing is lost, almost like block.” Salt Lake homeownbeing isolated again now ers, whether gay or straight, [that] there’s such a dispersal back into face a major roadblock because, he said, the great hetero masses.” 50 percent of homes in Salt Lake are Have these so-called gay ghettos rentals. “The turnaround, the progresbecome a thing of the past? Is Pacheco’s sion … is slower than I had hoped for,” neighborhood an anomaly? Can we band because the surrounding homeowners together again, as we have in the past, and apartment owners aren’t selling. to create these gayborhoods? And, more “In any major city I’ve ever visited, importantly, should we? there is a real impact of the GLBT comDe Lay calls this movement “a great munity on the neighborhoods/districts ideal,” but not one that is at all feasible. they claim,” he said. “But here in Salt “There is a huge segment of gays out Lake, because of poor planning and zonthere that have no wealth and still want ing, the number of apartment buildings to be homeowners and they are buying and duplexes changes the character and property wherever they can afford it. So direct ownership in the neighborhood if they’re not turning places into gaybor— therefore creating this half ownerhoods, they’re just desperately seeking occupied, half rental situation which affordable property. It’s the largest purdeters the self-interest for progress on chase of your life and you’re going to get any given street.” He is insistent, howthe best deal in the best neighborhood ever, upon his belief that change can that you can.” be wrought with patience and through For the same reasons, De Lay also residents’ willingness to get involved and writes off as fantasy the tactic of moving keep the police informed about any and a large group of gays into a conservative all suspicious activity. neighborhood in order to sway that dis“In neighborhood after neighborhood trict’s politics to the left: “You’re not going across the country, white gay urban to see a bunch of gays moving to Pepperpioneers are taking back the cities after wood, which is a Republican, upper-class decades of decline and blight,” Boykin stronghold. It’s not gonna happen. You’ll writes. “Aided by access to capital not never see that happen. It’s a wonderful available to many of the long-time rental ideal, though,” she said again. residents in the communities, many of According to De Lay, the most crucial the newcomers are quickly changing the gayborhood has yet to be created: asneighborhoods for better and for worse.” sisted living centers. “The one thing in As De Lay said, “In the next five years housing we’re really not thinking about you will see gentrification of Rose Park.” right now is housing for elder gays. I’m Rose Park, with its (as De Lay termed turning 50 this year. I’m thinking about them) “ratty rental neighborhoods,” it.” De Lay drives a point home that afcould use the face-lift — but at what fects each and every one of us: “I know price to the current residents? How that when I live to be 85, I don’t want does one ethically conduct a cost-bento be in assisted living with all weird efit analysis when the numbers being straight people. I want to be there with crunched are human beings? M
THERE ONCE WAS A COWBOY FROM NANTUCKET.
Cowboy poet Don Kennington joins the Blue Sage bluegrass band in celebration of the rural West. Kennington has become Utah’s elder statesman of cowboy poetry through his sincere recitations that depict the land, the people and the heritage he has grown to know. Blue Sage brings a unique perspective to the songs, old and new, of the American West. Bring a lawn chair and picnic basket. 7pm, Chase Home Museum of Utah Folk Arts, Liberty Park. Free. arts.utah.gov/folkarts
Wednesday, July 28
THE GAY AGENDA Thursday, July 22 DYING TO PLAY THE PART. A zany, offbeat and
very funny murder mystery farce about an unassuming English shoe salesman forced to take the corpse of his recently murdered uncle on a vacation to Monte Carlo in order to inherit six million dollars. Lucky Stiff is sheer lunacy, a murder with a twist! 8pm Wednesdays and Thursdays through August 21. Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main Street, Park City. Tickets $15–29, 888.243.5779, www.egyptiantheatrecompany.org
Friday, July 23 TIGERS AND DRAGONS AND HORNS, OH MY! The Utah Symphony and Utah Opera will be performing musical scores and showing never-before seen footage from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. A big-budget kung-fu film, the film did surprisingly well at the U.S. box office when it opened in 2000. Several storylines are woven together, with a dash
of magical realism, by beautiful fight scenes which look more like air-ballet Capoeira. 8:30pm, Sundance Resort. $10 general admission/lawn seating. www.utahsymphony.org
Saturday, July 24 SEE PIONEER DAY GUIDE GAYS OF ’47 BBQ IN UTAH’S DIXIE. The Southern
Utah Gay & Lesbian Community Center is hosting a barbecue to help raise the $300 it will cost for the center to get its own nonprofit status. Bring a dish and a donation. 1pm to dark, Trail End Park next to the new Dixie Center, Cedar City. 435-635-0624 or 435-313-4528.
Monday, July 26 KARAOKE COP. Detective Kevin Joiner “looks
like Kojak but has a voice like Garth Brooks.” Joiner is a natural talent in hot pursuit of his dream of trading in his badge and gun for a microphone and stage. Noon, Gallivan Center, 235 S. Main Street. Free. gallivanevents.com
PARADE OF PEACHES ON THE PLAZA. The success of the Saturday Farmers Market has spawned a new event at the Gateway Center on the Olympic Legacy Plaza and Rio Grande Street. This wonderful new boutique market includes live music every week and features an intimate shopping atmosphere. Enjoy the Farmers Market without the crowds!
4–8pm through September 1. Gallivan Center. www.downtownslc.org MOZART AND MOTHER GOOSE. Utah Symphony and Opera’s Deer Valley Music Festival brings Jeffrey Kahane who will play Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 25 in C Major, Ravel’s Mother Goose Suite, and he will conduct Haydn’s Symphony No. 101. As a pianist, Kahane is recognized by audiences around the world for his mastery of diverse repertoire from Bach to Gershwin.
7:30pm, St. Mary of the Assumption Catholic Church, 1505 White Pine Canyon Road, Park City. Tickets $12–15 at 355-ARTS or deervalleymusicfestival.org
Thursday, July 29 THE BEATS OF BEETHOVEN, THE RHYTHM OF RAVEL.
The Muir Quartet will present an evening of chamber music. The Muir String Quartet first performed in 1980 to rave reviews, won the 1981 Naumburg Chamber Music Award and 1980 Evian International String Quartet Competition, and was featured on the acclaimed PBS broadcast “In Performance” at the White House. Critics and audiences alike praise their stunning performances of the complete Beethoven String Quartet cycles. 7:30pm, St. Mary of the Assumption Catholic Church, 1505 White Pine Canyon Road, Park City. Tickets $12–15 at 355-ARTS or deervalleymusicfestival.org
Friday, July 30 JAZZ AND BLUES AT THE BIRD Snowbird’s 2004
Jazz and Blues Festival is back for its 17th season. Friday is Jazz night with Medeski, Martin & Wood; Rhonda Richmond and The Bruce Katz Band. Blues Saturday brings Otis Rush, Chris Duarte, Wild Child Butler, Nick Moss & The Flip Tops, and Uptown Hustlers
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7pm Friday, 4pm Saturday, Snowbird Resort. Tickets $30–45 per day. 1-800-453-3000
Saturday, July 31 DRAG BALL OF A WHOLE DIFFERENT NATURE. The
Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire serves up Drag Queen Dodge Ball on the Trapp Patio. What more do we need to say? BBQ included. 4pm, The Trapp, a private club for members. www.rcgse.org
Monday, August 2 BREAKING THE SPEED LIMITS. Tired of blind dates
and internet dating? Try Speed Dating as it comes to gay Utah at Club Panini’s Metro Monday. Three-minute dates and if you both like each other, you will get contact info. 7pm, Club Panini, a private club for members. 299 S. Main Street, Second Level.
Pioneer Day Guide Saturday, July 24 RIDE ‘EM COWBOY! What’s
more Pioneer Days than the Days of ’47 World Champion Rodeo Finals? Watch the bods in chaps and drink lots of beer to celebrate the pioneers’ trek across the plains. 6pm, Delta Center, Tickets $15.50–39.50 at 325-SEAT or deltacenter.com THE PRICE IS RIGHT. Rock and Roll Hall of
Famer Dave Mason brings his sound to The Canyons. Before embarking on a solo career and hitting it big with the breakup masterpiece “We Just Disagree,” Dave Mason was a founding member of British jazzrock supergroup Traffic. Upon leaving Traffic over artistic differences with Steve Winwood, Mason did time with seminal country rock ‘n’ gospel hippies Delaney & Bonnie. In 1970, he went solo and released the hit “Only You Know And I Know.” 6pm, The Canyons, Park City. Free. thecanyons.com OF THEE THEY SING. Deer Valley Music Festi-
val presents a tribute to George Gershwin special guests the John Pizzarelli Trio and Michael Chertock. Pizzarelli is hailed as one of the most accomplished interpreters of the Great American Songbook and plays classic standards and late night ballads for a new generation who are ready to swing and swoon. Bring a picnic and enjoy the Pops Series music in the cool mountain air. 7:30pm, Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheatre, Deer Valley. Tickets $18–42 at 355-ARTS or deervalleymusicfestival.org OH, FOR A HOUSE WITHOUT WHEELS.
Big Gulp-sized cans of Natty Light, missing teeth and shirts tied below the tits will be in vogue at the “White Trash Party” at MoDigg’s. Don’t Miss Out! 9pm, MoDiggity’s, a private club for members, 3424 S. State Street. modiggitys.com
Red,White & Bubbly Got Wood? by Beau Jarvis Have you ever glanced at a wine label and seen the phrase “Toasty Oak?” Do the terms oak-aged or barrel-aged mean anything to you? Are you starting to wonder whether or not you absolutely must have oak in your wine? Do you even know if you like the taste of a wooded wine? Okay, no more questions, just a simple taste-test. Let’s compare two wine styles: “oaked” vs. “un-oaked.” Chardonnay is a great wine for this test — its style can vary greatly, depending on how a winemaker decided to treat this wine. I recently found two simple, inexpensive Chardonnays, both under $8. Stony Hollow, 2002/03 from Chile is $6. It’s aged in stainless steel tanks without any oak. Oxford Landing Chardonnay 2002 from Australia is $7. This Aussie Chardonnay is aged in oak.
So the obvious question is, “Why go to the trouble of aging wine in oak barrels?” As you’ll see, oak can dramatically change a wine’s aroma and flavor. Traditionally, barrels made of French oak are charred on the inside. As wine ages in these semi-burnt barrels, additional scents and flavors are imparted to the wine. In winespeak, oak aging adds a layer of complexity to wine. Now, onto our taste-test. Chill both wines for about half an hour. Pour the Stony Hollow into a glass, swirl it around, jab your nose into the glass and give the wine a sniff. I smell crisp pears and apples. This scent reminds me of biting into a green Granny Smith apple right out of the fridge. Now swirl and sniff the Oxford Landing Chardonnay. It’s made from the same grape, but the scent is very different. I smell ripe tropical fruits such as pineapple and mango. I also catch a whiff of vanilla, cloves and caramel. This spicy-sweet scent is the primary tip-off that your wine has had some contact with oak. A quick oak aside: I seriously doubt that our $7 wine was aged in fine oak barrels. Otherwise,
Community Calendar
we would be talking about a wine costing at least $15. It’s more likely that this wine was aged in tanks containing oak chips or oak staves — hopefully the wood has since been filtered out! Now let’s taste the wines. Don’t be afraid to swish and swirl the wines in your mouth. (You can pretend it’s Scope.) You might even try tilting your head forward and opening your mouth slightly while drawing in some air. This is rather elegantly referred to as “slurping.” Be careful though — it does take some coordination. Sip and slurp the Stony Hollow Chardonnay. I taste fresh, crisp fruit with that slightly bitter bite one gets from a not-quite-ripe apple or pear. The wine’s tart character makes my mouth water. Of course, this slobber-inducing effect makes for a rather food-friendly wine. Next, sip and slurp the Oxford Landing Chardonnay. What do you taste? Right off the bat, the wine seems heavier in my mouth. The flavors are decidedly less tart. I taste ripe tropical fruit with a little vanilla chaser. To me, this wine shouts, “Oak!” So, which wine do you prefer? Of course there is no right answer. Personal preference is all that really matters. In general, I gravitate towards “un-
Wednesdays 8pm Alcoholics Anonymous. Washington Terrace, 4601 S. 300 West, Ogden Fridays 7:30-9pm Alcoholics Anonymous. Español. Gallery Room at the Center, 355 N. 300 West 8pm Alcoholics Anonymous. St. Paul’s Church, 261 S. 900 East Saturdays 6pm Alcoholics Anonymous. St. Mary’s Church, 50 W. 200 North, Provo Sundays 3pm Alcoholics Anonymous. Jubilee Center, 309 E. 100 South, rear door
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Third Wednesdays 7pm In Tune. For young singers, songwriters and musicians. Thursdays 7pm Young Men’s Group. Ages 13-19. Open discussion and activities determined by participants and facilitator. Fridays 7:30pm Movie night. Saturdays 2pm Queers in Action. Want to hold a “Queers for Peace” sign at a rally, plan Utah’s Queer prom, or start your own group? Join us. 4pm Gayme Time. PlayStation2, XBOX games. Use ours or bring yours. Board games and cards TESTING also available. Mondays First Saturdays 5-7pm HIV Antibody Testing. Generation Gap. An opportunity Drop In. Free first Mondays. Utah to share coming out stories and AIDS Foundation 1408 S. 1100 other queer stories between East. Tyler 801-487-2323 generations. 2nd and 4th Wednesdays Third Sundays 2pm Collage of Utah. Support Free HIV/STD testing and counseling. Gallery Room at the group for children of gay or lesbian parents. Youth Activity Center, 361 N. 300 West Center at the Center, 355 N. 300 WOMEN West Erica Summers, 583-5300 Lesbian support group. Call YOUNG ADULT 18-30 to get info. University of Utah Women’s Resource Center. 581- Mondays 8030, www.sa.utah.edu/women 7:30pm University of Utah Lesbian/Gay Student Union. Union Third Saturdays 6:30pm sWerve Monthly. Gath- Building, Room 411. 587-7973, www.utah.edu/lgsu ering for lesbian and bisexual women to meet in a safe, social 7pm Pride Alliance of USU. environment. SwerveUtah.com. Meets when school is in session. TSC 335. (435) 797-4297, www. Sundays usu.edu/pride 2pm Northern Utah Women Recreational Opportunities Club. Tuesdays Social organization for women in 8pm Weber State University Delta Lambda Sappho Union. the Ogden area. groups.yahoo. com/group/OgdenOutdoorWomen Junction Room, Student Union. 11am-3pm Pride Softball League. Katharine MacKay, 626-6782, Come join – we will fit you onto a Julie_Drach@hotmail.com Wednesdays team. Jordan Park, 1000 S. 900 5pm Southern Utah University West. Kaos168@hotmail.com Pride Club. All welcome to parVarying Saturdays ticipate. Blue Kat, 90 W. Hoover 11am Utah Singles for single Street, Cedar City laundra@suu. lesbian women. The Center, 361 N. 300 West. groups.yahoo. edu, suu.edu/ksuu 7pm Salt Lake Community Colcom/group/lesbian_singles lege GLBT Student Union. South YOUTH AGES 13-19 City Campus, Room W111G. Unless noted otherwise, activites Gordon Storrs, 957-4562, for youth are held at: Youth Activity Gordon.storrs@slcc.edu. Center at the Center, 355 N. 300 Saturdays West. “bob,” 539-8800, ext. 14 Various times Gay LDS Young First Wednesdays Adults, An organization that wel7pm Young Women’s Support comes everyone but has a focus Group. Open discussion, activities. on young adults with an LDS background. glyautah@yahoo. Second & Fourth WednesSUBSTANCE ABUSE com, www.glya.com days 7pm Queer Slam. Open Tuesdays workshop for all young people 8pm Alcoholics Anonymous. St. into poetry slams and gettin’ the Paul’s Church, 261 S. 900 East word out!
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Tuesdays and Thursdays 7-8pm Queer Utah Acquatics Club. Fairmont pool, 1044 E. Sugarhouse Dr. douglaskf@aol. com, quacquac.org First and Third Saturdays 10am Lambda Hiking Club. Parking lot at 700 E. 200 South. Day hikes, overnight hikes. Bring sturdy shoes, sun protection, food and water. Randy, 532-8447, GayHike.org Sundays 9am Frontrunnrs/Frontwalkers. Liberty Park/Avenues routes. Meet in front of Barbacoa Mexican Grill, 859 E 900 South. Geoff Partain, 712-9558, alliance@aros. net, FrontRunnersUtah.org 11am-Noon Queer Utah Acquatics Club. Water polo. Fairmont Pool. 1044 E. Sugarhouse Drive. Men’s and women’s teams; beginners and advanced teams. douglaskf@aol.com, quacquac.org Noon Slug Rugby. Salt Lake Rugby Assoc. All women of all levels welcome. Sugarhouse Park, 2100 S. 1300 East. www. slugrugby.org 2:30pm Soccer. Fairmont Park, 2300 S. 1100 East. Open play. Martin Grygar, 231-9453, jesper2@hotmail.com 3pm Volleyball. Fairmont Park, 2300 S. 1100 East. Open play. Martin Grygar 231-9453, jesper2@hotmail.com 3pm Basketball. Fairmont Park, 2300 S. 1100 East. Pick-up games. Martin Grygar, 231-9453, jesper2@hotmail.com 11am-3pm Pride Softball League. Hundreds of players of both genders. A fun social gathering. Newcomers welcome. Jordan Park, 1000 S. 900 West. kaos168@hotmail.com Third Sundays 11am Stonewall Shooting Sports shoot. Utah Division of Wildlife Resources Lee Kay Center for Hunter Education and Public Shooting Range. 6000 W 2100 S. StonewallShootingSportsUtah.org Saturdays or Sundays 10am or Noon Motorcyclists. Gay Bikers of Utah meet most weekends to ride through different scenic areas. Beans & Brews Tuesdays 6pm to decide route. 5900 S. State. Jamie, 598-0760, gaybikersofUT@yahoogroups.com
Beau Jarvis is a Sommelier, wine consultant and wine educator. He operates BasicJuice.com — an independent wine review and info website.
JULY 22, 2004
Third Saturdays 10am Western Transsexual Network. Meet and discuss issues relating to gender change. Gallery Room at the Center, 361 First Sundays Various Weekends N. 300 West ARTS SOCIAL 10am-1:30pm Human Rights Salt Lake Couples. Social First & Third Wednesdays Second Mondays 7pm Engendered Species Campaign steering commitgroup for long-term, committed 7-9pm DiverseCity Writing 7-8:30 Integrity potluck. Open – Crossdressers and Transgender tee meeting. Gallery Room at couples. Strengthening relationSeries. Free writing workshop to all; a fun social gathering. St. people. They meet most weekthe Center, 361 N. 300 West. ships, social networking, fun. for all ages and writing levels. Stephen’s Episcopal Church, 4615 HRCSaltLakeUT@aol.com Jesse, 231-7776, groups.yahoo. ends for dining and discussion The Center, 361 N. 300 West S. 3200 West IntegrityUtah.org and always the third Saturday for com/groups/slcouples 11th Day of Every Month Sara Gunderson 957-4992 an open house. The Center, 361 Second Tuesday 3-4pm Homeless Youth Task N. 300 West, 320-0551 SOUTHERN UTAH Third Fridays Force. Group meets monthly to 7:30-9pm Parents and Friends Third Tuesdays 6-9pm Gallery Stroll. Several First Sundays address the needs of homeless of Lesbians and Gays. Group dozen of Salt Lake’s finest galmeeting. Black Box Theater at the 7pm Parents, Friends and 11am Utah Bear Alliance brunch. youth. Gallery Room at the Family of Lesbians and Gays. leries remain open until 9 p.m. Center, 355 N. 300 West Social/service organization for Center, 361 N. 300 West Claudia, (435) 673-3356 for viewing. Laura Durham Bears, Cubs and their admirers. Wednesdays RELIGIOUS 533-3582 Call for locations. Noal Robinson, Noon Men’s sack lunch. A purely Wednesdays 949-3989 Sundays 7pm Dinner and a Homo. An social group of local men meet MEN’S GROUPS 4pm Affirmation. Gay and to eat and chat. Gallery Room at evening of fun and flicks with Sundays Second & Fourth Tuesdays lesbian Latter-day Saints. SLC, the Center. 361 N. 300 West the community. Bijou Theater 4pm Latin Divas. Latin drag 7:30-9pm Gay and bisexual Ogden and Provo meeting sites. at Bluff and Sunset, St. George. organization plans for shows, Wednesdays men support group. 18 years and Rick Bickmore, activities and fund raisers. 6:45pm Food, Flicks and Fags. Aimie, (435) 635-0624, older. Friendship, conversa860-6497, affirmation.org Black Box Theater at the Center, Meet in the pool hall of Brewvies sugltcc@yahoo.com tion. Gallery Room at the 361 N. 300 West. Juan Lopez 9am First Unitarian Church of 5pm Southern Utah University to pick the flick of the night. Center, 355 N. 300 West. 577-5927 Salt Lake. 569 S. 1300 East. Pride Club. All are welcome to Admission $2. Men and women gmsgglccu@yahoo.com 582-8687 participate. The Blue Kat, 90 21 and older. 677 S. 200 West SPORTS AND FITNESS NORTHERN UTAH W. Hoover Street, Cedar City. 9am Holladay United Church 7:30pm Lavender Tribe. A Mondays Mondays laundra@suu.edu, www.suu. of Christ. All are welcome in spirituality group that explores 6pm Slug Rugby. Salt Lake 7pm Pride Alliance of USU. edu/orgs/pride our diverse community of faith. everything from auras to Zen Rugby Assoc. meets for practice Meets while school is in session. 2631 E. Murray-Holladay Road First Wednesdays meditation. Dave, 521-3857, and play. All women of all levels TSC 335. Cy Martz, (435) 730277-2631 www.lavendertribe.org 7:30pm Alternative Gardening welcome. Sugarhouse Park, 1178, cy@brigham.net, www. 9am Glory to God Community 2100 S. 1300 East. www. Club. Learn about plants, trees 7pm* Affirmation/Reconciliausu.edu/pride Church. 375 Harrison Blvd., slugrugby.org and foliage in general. Meet tion Movie Night. A combined Wednesdays Ogden 394-0204 at the Sugarhouse Park Rose activity for those from an LDS 6:30pm Frontrunners/Front7pm “Weenie World” Cache Bldg. in the northeast corner background. Sugarhouse 10 9:30am Provo Community walkers. Walkers make a 3-mile Valley Community barbecue at of the park. Don 484-6414, Theaters, 2227 S. Highland Church. 175 N. University Ave., loop, runners do a 4-mile run at Zanavuu Loop, Logan Canyon. Drive. 296-4797 *time depends roylance@msn.com. 375-9115 Sugarhouse Park. Meet at the Cy Martz, (435) 730-1178, on movie schedule northeast corner of Sugarhouse Sundays 11am Integrity. Episcopal cy@brigham.net 11am Latte Day Saints. Sunday Park in the Garden Ctr parking lot. Thursdays ministry. 566-1311 POLITICAL Geoff, 712-9558, alliance@aros. 11am Glory to God Community 7:30pm Line Dancing. Utah Gay morning coffee, bread and net, FrontRunnersUtah.org First Tuesdays conversation. Xetava Gardens Rodeo Association offers free Church. 375 Harrison Blvd., 7:30pm Log Cabin Republicans. Ogden 394-0204 in Kayenta. 815 Coyote Gulch lessons. Paper Moon, 3737 S. Second Tuesdays Salt Lake County Building, 2001 Court, Ivans Aimie, (435) 635State Street. 7pm Stonewall Shooting Sports 11am Metropolitan Community S. State Street, room N4010. 0624, sugltcc@yahoo.com meeting. Doug’s Shoot ’N Sports, Fridays Church of SLC. 823 S. 600 East. www.LRCUtah.org 4926 S. Redwood Rd. 7-11:30pm Off the Wall Improv. Third Sundays 595-0052 Second Tuesdays Stand up comedy featuring up- 7pm Family movie night at Doug StonewallShootingSportsUtah.org Noon Restoration Church of 3-4:30pm Public Safety Liaison and-coming comics from across and Kim’s. Movie, popcorn and Wednesdays Jesus Christ. 2900 S. State Committee. Police are available socializing. Doug or Kim, (435) the nation. Black Box Theater 6:30pm Frontrunners/FrontStreet. 359-1151 for discussion regarding the at the Center, 355 N. 300 West 668-9702 walkers. A beautiful route through safety of the gay and lesbian 7pm Reconciliation. For those Jake Arky, 824-1359 north Bonneville Drive and up City SPECIAL INTEREST community. Gallery Room at the wishing to hold to some of Creek Canyon. Group meets at Saturdays First Tuesdays Center, 361 N. 300 West the tenets of the LDS church. 11th Avenue and B Street, near 1pm 20-something lunch group. 7-9:30pm Bi-Poly Group. Regular lessons taken from the guardrail. Geoff Partain, 7:30-9pm Parents and Friends Bring a lunch and join in on the Bisexual and Polyamorous group approved church manuals. Russ 712-9558, alliance@aros.net, of Lesbian and Gays. Group conversation. Center board room meeting. Black Box Theater at 259-3800, 296-4797 FrontRunnersUtah.org meeting. Black Box Theater at above the coffee shop. the Center, 355 N. 300 West the Center, 355 N. 300 West Quarterly Thursdays Second Sundays Wednesdays Family Fellowship. Mormon 6pm Slug Rugby. Salt Lake Fourth Tuesdays 1pm South Valley Potluck Club 6pm BDSM Discussion Group. families engaged in the cause Rugby Assoc. meets for practive 7pm Human Rights Campaign for GLBT people that live between Utah Power Exchange’s weekly of strengthening families with and play. Women of all levels meet-up. Organize against the I-215 and the point of the mtn coffee klatch. Stonewall Coffee homosexual members. SLC, welcome. Sugarhouse Park, Federal Marriage Amendment. draperlastresort@aol.com. Co., 361 N. 300 West. Ogden, Provo. Gary or Millie, 2100 S. 1300 East. www. Multiple locations. hrc.org UtahPowerExchange.org Second or Third Weekends 374-1447, wattsfam@aol.com, slugrugby.org First Wednesdays 7pm Spicy Dinner Group. Casual Last Thursdays LDSFamilyFellowship 5:30-7pm Utah Stonewall suppers held at various locations 7pm Utah Bear Alliance. General 7pm Goodtimes Bowling Democrats. Executive committee in the Salt Lake City area. Bring meeting for bears, cubs and ad- League. Bonwood Bowl, 2500 S. Main St. Singles, beginners meeting to discuss strategy. your signature dish whether it mirers. Black Box Theater at the welcome. $10/night. Scott Millar, Black Box Theater, 355 N. 300 is Gumbo Florentine or chicken Center, 355 N. 300 West. Noal 832-9745 West. njmikeutah@yahoo.com, vindaloo. Logan, 654-2849 Robinson, 949-3989 UtahStonewallDemocrats.org
oaked” Chardonnay when I’m pairing wine with food. If you like this style too, try the original sans-oak Chardonnay: French Chablis. Chablis wines are usually made without any oak treatment. They are also slightly more expensive. A reasonably priced Chablis that illustrates the au naturel character of the Chardonnay grape is La Chablisienne Cuvée Lles Clos 2001 ($16). Try it with lighter, simple fare such as oysters, creamy cheeses or grilled chicken breast. If you want to explore the more flamboyant side of Chardonnay in all its spicy-sweet, ‘oakey’ glory, there are many California and Australian wines that fit the bill. For a definite fruit-oak punch, try Gallo (yes that Gallo) of Sonoma Reserve Chardonnay, 2002 ($12), from California. This wine goes well with richer foods such as marinated chicken or pork, salmon and even fajitas. Of course there is more to a wine than whether or not it’s been aged in oak. But the next time your waiter describes a Chardonnay as having “lively oak flavors,” you’ll at least have a good idea of what to expect. Cheers!
Now Playing A CINDERELLA STORY Sam (Hilary Duff) is this fairy tale’s Cinderella, a San Fernando Valley girl being raised by a cruel stepmother (Jennifer Coolidge) and denied the usual middleclass teen amenities like hot clothes and the chance to attend the homecoming dance where her secret admirer/Prince Charming (Chad Michael Murray) awaits. That her outfits, funky attic room, and vintage baby-blue Mustang convertible are still nicer than what most kids her age have is lost on the filmmakers, whose Hollywood version of deprivation is warped beyond recognition. In fact, also lost on the creators of this dull retelling of the classic story is any sense of humor, wit, or romance. Even one of those qualities could have saved it from becoming another barrel-bottom-scraping exercise in teen marketing, but none are in evidence, and it’ll be the wise 15 year-old girl who demands her ticket money back. Grade: D / Kinsey Scale: 1 (There are gay-ish moments, like the nameless and effeminate synchronized swim coach who appears in a scene with the bumbling stepsisters. Worse, there’s a somewhat bothersome moment when Murray questions the gender of his asyet-unseen beloved via cell-phone instant message, promising to “kick [his] butt” if Duff turns out to be male — Prince Charming, indeed. Gay favorite Coolidge played a lesbian in Best in Show.)
ANCHORMAN Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) is a pompous, clueless, and beloved news anchor in mid-’70s San Diego. And when his perfectly coiffed, scotch-soaked, playboy lifestyle is upended by an ambitious female journalist (Christina Applegate) who wants to be his co-anchor, he goes into a
career tailspin. That the movie is a somewhat toothless satire on polyester sexism — one that, strangely, follows sexist Hollywood logic by allowing four men but only one woman in its principal cast — is mostly beside the point. The point is Ferrell. With his constantly knowing take on the witless Burgundy, he manages to turn an uneven script into a film with a consistently high laughs-per-minute count. They’re empty, silly laughs, and Ferrell is in danger of becoming typecast as a dolt; but his brand of air-headed charm is what keeps this lightweight summer comedy afloat. Grade: B / Kinsey Scale: 2 (Aside from a few throwaway gags about straight male homophobia, there’s a relatively undeveloped plotline in which Ferrell’s sportscaster co-worker, played by David Koechner, is slowly revealed to have a crush on him. Co-star Paul Rudd played a gay man in The Object of My Affection, and Fred Willard had a recurring role as a gay man on Roseanne.)
DE-LOVELY Legendary songwriter Cole Porter (Kevin Kline) bedded men, but always returned to the arms of his wife and muse, Linda (Ashley Judd). This biopic unfolds as if it were a Porter musical, offering his career highlights while it limns the offbeat romance between this devoted but turbulent couple. The Porters come across as little more than actors in their own play, and this glossy confection of a movie never actually gets at what motivated Linda to stay in such a heartbreaking, inequitable relationship. Director Irwin Winkler’s decision to hire the pop stars of today to sing Porter’s songs is also unfortunate. Their mostly mediocre cameo performances are a distraction, making the drama appear to be little more than a
Kinsey Scale: 0 – not gay at all 6 – gay as a bunny
feature-length ad for a soundtrack. Grade: B- / Kinsey Scale: 4 (The drama doesn’t shy away from Porter’s affairs with men, but the emphasis is on his relationship with Linda. Kline previously played gay in In & Out, while Judd lit up the screen with Salma Hayek in Frida. Co-stars Jonathan Pryce and James Wilby played queer characters in, respectively, Carrington and Maurice.)
DODGEBALL Unless nice-guy Peter LaFleur (Vince Vaughn) can come up with $50,000 fast, his Average Joe’s Gym faces a takeover by slimy Globo Gym CEO White Goodman (Ben Stiller). The amount seems beyond the under-financed LeFleur’s reach, until gym rat Gordon (Stephen Root) suggests they enter a national dodgeball tournament that will pit LaFleur’s uncoordinated weaklings against Goodman’s steroid-pumped elite. This silly slapstick comedy might be the happiest surprise of the summer, as a cast of first-rate clowns clearly revel in the chance to deliver hilarious lines and demonstrate their superior physical-comedy skills. While there’s a bit too much of Stiller’s by-now-tedious angry-man act, Vaughn and the rest of the Average Joe’s crew comprise a team of lovable losers truly worth rooting for. Grade: B+ / Kinsey Scale: 2 (One character is bisexual and — as might be expected in a movie that takes place in the homoerotic world of sports, even if it is dodgeball — there are queer jokes aplenty. Stiller played a metrosexual in Zoolander and one-half of the vaguely homoerotic team of Starsky and Hutch. Vaughn was cross-dressing Norman Bates in the Psycho remake. Co-stars Hank Azaria and Jason Bateman have played gay characters.)
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FAHRENHEIT 9/11 Filmmaking provocateur Michael Moore takes aim at the Bush administration with this passionate documentary that begins with the contested 2000 presidential election, jumps to the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, and then examines the aftermath of those events — from curtailment of civil liberties under the Patriot Act, to our current occupation of Iraq. Moore gathers excerpts from the administration’s own sound bites, man-on-the-street interviews, network news clips, and devastating footage from the Iraqi war zone to build his case for American regime change. He paints a devastating portrait of a rogue government — in the pocket of corporate interests — that has taken full advantage of the post-9/11 climate of fear. Moore gives us the very definition of the “ugly American” with this discomforting and unforgettable film. Grade: A / Kinsey Scale: 0 (There is no sexual content of any kind, but the subject matter is vital to every American regardless of orientation.)
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN In his third year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) learns that Sirius Black (Gary Oldman), an inmate of Azkaban prison for his role in the death of Harry’s parents, has escaped and may be coming for Harry next. That’s the simple version: the more complicated tale involves shape-shifting animals, mistaken identities, time travel, and a very large teenager-hungry tree. Meanwhile, the kids in the cast are maturing, growing into their roles without a trace of awkwardness. The most important development, though, is the film’s running time. Even though the books get longer as the series goes on, this film installment is a little shorter than the first two, thanks to a looser, less slavish devotion to its source; as a result, it plays much more briskly. That may upset literal-minded devotees of the novels, but will delight those who want their movies to actually move. Grade: A / Kinsey Scale: 1 (The large cast has lots of experience in queer-themed projects. Oldman played Joe Orton in Prick up Your Ears; co-star David Thewlis was Paul Verlaine in Total Eclipse; Emma Thompson recently appeared in Angels in America; and Julie Walters costarred in Billy Elliot and the independent films Sister My Sister and Just Like a Woman.)
I, ROBOT In 2035 Chicago, luddite detective Del Spooner (Will Smith) harbors a paranoid fear of the robots everyone else has come to depend on. When he suspects that one of them murdered scientist Alfred Lanning (James Cromwell), his superiors consider the theory a fantasy until marauding machines threaten the city. With the volatile cop battling robots at every opportunity, this thriller — loosely based on Isaac Asimov stories — emphasizes action over sci-fi. Purists may scoff at that, while everyone else will be shocked by truly wretched special effects that reduce Smith’s muscular antics to cartoon mayhem, destroy any semblance of suspense, and create unintentional laughs by rendering the supposedly fearsome robots so poorly that they are about as formidable as Casper the Friendly Ghost. Grade: C- / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Though there is no pressing reason for Smith to get naked, he shows off his buff body in an early shower scene. Additionally, the actor played gay in Six Degrees of Separation. Cromwell appeared in HBO’s Angels in America.)
KING ARTHUR There is no Camelot in this mystifying de-mythification of Arthurian legend that
casts Arthur (Clive Owen) as a Roman warrior and devout Catholic, Guinevere (Keira Knightley) as a teenage warriorprincess hottie, Merlin (Stephen Dillane) as a hillbilly sorcerer, and Lancelot (Ioan Gruffudd) as a pouting pretty boy — all of whom come together to battle the Saxons. Viewers even remotely familiar with the lore will be outraged at its transformation into slasher soap opera, while everyone else will merely suffer whiplash from the attention-deficit battle scenes that are partially obscured by smoke and appear to have been edited in a blender. Director Antonio Fuqua creates a soporific work so devoid of sense and personality that it is impossible to care about this Arthur or these knights. Grade: D+ / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Owen appeared in Bent, while Dillane costarred in The Hours.)
THE NOTEBOOK Octogenarian Noah Calhoun (James Garner) spends his days trying to reach out to his dementia-afflicted wife, Allie (Gena Rowlands), by repeatedly telling her the story of their early life together. That WWII-era romance unfolds as a Romeo-and-Juliet-style tale, as upperclass young Allie’s (Rachel McAdams) uptight mother (Joan Allen) tries to keep her daughter away from blue-collar Noah (Ryan Gosling). Garner’s moving performance is the best thing about this weepie based on Nicholas Sparks’ bestseller, but he’s acting in a vacuum opposite Rowlands, whose confusion never registers as authentic. The flashbacks to the couple’s youth also come across as false. McAdams and Gosling never connect emotionally; the blandly pretty McAdams offers a petulant, onenote performance, and Gosling’s shaggy, anachronistic appearance evokes not the 1940s but the 1960s. Grade: C- / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Twenty years ago Garner played sexual panic for laughs when he portrayed a straight mobster who falls for what he thinks is a drag queen in Victor/Victoria.)
SHREK 2 They could have called this delightful sequel Meet the Parents, if that title hadn’t already been taken, because it sums up the plot nicely. Shrek (the voice of Mike Myers) and his new bride, Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz), with Donkey (Eddie Murphy) in tow, visit the land of Far Far Away to show Fiona’s parents (Julie Andrews, John Cleese) that she’s happily become an ogre in order to marry Shrek. Appalled that his daughter has wed a monster instead of the self-absorbed Prince Charming (Rupert Everett), the king enlists the help of a mean-spirited Fairy Godmother (Jennifer Saunders) in an attempt to steal Fiona back. What follows is witty, sweet, and love-affirming, leaving behind the smutty double entendres and (most of) the low-brow flatulence humor of the original. It’s that rarest of sequels — one that’s vastly superior to its precursor, and one that will leave you happily ever after. Grade: A / Kinsey Scale: 2 (Although there’s no explicitly queer content, it could be argued that the story, with its “love whom you choose” message, is a metaphor for same-sex marriage; in addition, one of Cinderella’s ugly stepsisters (voiced by Larry King) is a man in drag. Myers played gay in 54, Andrews starred in Victor/Victoria, Saunders stars on TV’s Absolutely Fabulous, and Antonio Banderas, who voices Puss-in-Boots, is a veteran of Pedro Almodovar’s films and played gay in Philadelphia. Everett, it goes without saying, is gay full time.)
SPIDER-MAN 2 Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) has mixed feelings about being Spider-Man. He also has a full plate of trouble. His erstwhile girlfriend (Kirsten Dunst) may marry a man she doesn’t love; his best friend (James Franco) wants to kill Spider-Man
to avenge his own father’s death; his beloved aunt is bankrupt; and, worst of all, Doctor Octopus (Alfred Molina) wants to destroy New York. Director Sam Raimi balances these stories and keeps breathing life and humor into a sequelready franchise that could, in less caring hands, simply become an assembly line of big-budget blockbusters, all sensation and no emotional weight. This Spider-Man, however, is a complicated superhero, a beleaguered, sometimes weak Everyman who happens to be able to save the lives of people in out-ofcontrol speeding trains with his superstrong sticky web. And he’s just what the summer movie schedule needs. Grade: A- / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Molina starred as Joe Orton’s lover in Prick Up Your Ears, while Franco played James Dean in the TV biopic of the same name. Queer as Folk’s Hal Sparks — comicbook nerd Michael Novotny — appears in a cameo role.)
THE TERMINAL
Viktor Navorski (Tom Hanks) lands at Kennedy Airport, only to discover that a coup has struck his homeland, rendering his passport invalid. Since he cannot legally enter the United States, he is temporarily consigned to the airport’s international transit lounge. Days stretch into months, but charming Viktor adapts to terminal life, befriending airport habitues and finding romance with flight attendant Amelia (Catherine Zeta-Jones). Director Steven Spielberg delivers a thin fable that wallows in schmaltz and product placement. The characters never register as flesh-and-blood human beings, Hanks and Zeta-Jones lack chemistry, and the film’s condescending tone toward naive-but-wise Viktor and the airport’s mostly immigrant staff is downright offensive. With Kennedy Airport meticulously recreated inside a soundstage, this is a triumph of production design over character and story. Grade: C- / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Hanks first became famous for his crossdressing role on the sitcom Bosom Buddies; he went on to win an Oscar for his portrayal of an AIDS-afflicted gay lawyer in Philadelphia. Screenwriter Sacha Gervasi previously co-wrote the queer-themed comedy The Big Tease. Co-star Diego Luna appeared in Before Night Falls.)
WHITE CHICKS To catch a kidnapper, African-American sibling FBI agents Marcus (Marlon Wayans) and Kevin Copeland (Shawn Wayans) must go undercover as two young, white, shallow heiresses. Now, for the sake of argument, pretend for a moment that two men wearing ghostly white latex masks and fake breasts resemble anything more than scary Halloween party-level drag queens. Pretend that they’re able to fool every other character in the film into buying that they’re the “Wilson” (as in Hilton) sisters, two young women whose looks are, presumably, known to all. Even with that bit of disbelief suspended, this comedy fails because it’s simply full of worn-out, race-related humor — white people like fancy piano music! black people like rap! — and nothing else to fill the dead space. Those responsible for this cinematic atrocity shouldn’t show their real faces for a while either. Grade: F / Kinsey Scale: 2 (Director Keenen Ivory Wayans helmed Scary Movie, which featured a gay plot thread involving Shawn Wayans as a sexually ambiguous young man who meets his end after being stabbed in the head with an erect penis. Nothing quite so bawdy or bold happens here. It’s a straight drag comedy with the requisite sprinkling of harmless homosexual panic throughout, but it’s neither funny nor offensive. Marlon Wayans, on the other hand, costarred in 1992’s decidedly homophobic Mo’ Money.)
Before Sunset 5/5 stars
LIONS GATE FILMS
THINKFILM
WARNER BROS
Eighty Minutes of Hetero Love
Birthin’ Time in the Gobi Desert Grimacing Through the Pain The Story of the Weeping Camel 4/5 stars
Fahrenheit 9/11 by William Todd Park
by Xenia Cherkaev
Nine years ago, Celine (Julie Delpy) and Jesse (Ethan Hawke) met on a train and had a one-night stand in Vienna (the subject of Before Sunrise), which neither has been able to forget. Jesse has written a book about the experience and is in Paris on a book tour, dodging journalists’ questions in the famous Shakespeare and Co. bookstore, when he looks up and sees Celine outside the window. Before Sunset, like most Linkalater films (Waking Life, Slacker, Before Sunrise) is steeped in conversation — conversation that is authentically vulnerable and awkward, honest, spontaneous, and real. With just a few hours before Jesse’s plane back to New York where he has left his wife and son, the two once-lovers walk around Paris and talk about everything from religion, to time, to their past and current relationships. They connect. Watching it is like eavesdropping on a conversation between two people falling in love. The film is 80 minutes of real-time, meaning that the 80 minutes they have together is the actual 80 minutes we see. Time indeed, is a big question in the film. These two strangers, who have nothing in common except one night nine years ago and a soul-mate connection, are rapidly running out of time and keep trying to put off Jesse’s inevitable departure. Why didn’t we exchange phone numbers? Jesse laments. Would anything have been different? Can anything be changed? Although this film is a sequel to Before Sunrise, it stands on its own. Jesse and Celine have a very short back-story, which took place so long ago that it has almost ceased to matter. They remember each other as someone they have loved for one night nine years ago, but even their versions of what exactly happened have become clouded with memory and differ slightly. They spend most of the film getting to know each other, which conveniently lets the audience get to know them also, and their mostly un-sexual conversation becomes incredibly erotic. This sexy and celebratory film proves once again that sexuality is more mental that physical. It is yet another film about liberal, successful straight people, but the magic of Linklater’s realtime conversation is so beautiful and believable that for once politics should not matter. Before Sunset is a detailed study of how two people can renew a one-night’s love in a little over an hour. It could happen to anybody.
In Southern Mongolia, a multigenerational nomadic family of camel herders settles down to summer pastures to allow their animals to birth. The last camel to go into labor has a difficult time and consequently rejects her calf, refusing to let it suckle and cuddle the way the other camels do. This apparently happens relatively often with Mongolian camels, and is the subject of Byambasuren Davaa’s and Luigi Falorni’s new narrative documentary — narrative in the sense that certain scenes are staged to help the film’s flow, but the actors play themselves and act the way they would generally act without the camera. (Think Robert Flaherty’ Nanook of the North or Man of Aran). Much like a Flaherty documentary, The Weeping Camel is a celebration of traditional ways. The film is shot in the magnificent Gobi desert in a simple style which puts the relationship between the mother camel and her colt at the emotional centre. Had a cow rejected her albino calf in a western society, we would either bottle feed it or slaughter it for veal, but in Mongolia they call for a violinist. The Weeping Camel shows with gentle slowness a culture which (I know this is cliché but) is respectful of nature and the other living creatures in it. The camels are credited in the cast along with the other family members. “The pregnant camel has wandered away from the flock,” says the grandfather in one scene, go “try to bring her back.” It is difficult to force the massive lumbering animals to do anything they absolutely do not want to, so instead the camels are asked and coerced into doing it. The first half of the film could be set in any time period over the past 500 years. The family lives barely connected to the outside world, making everything they need and worrying about their animals instead of market prices. In subtle ways however, the outside world is encroaching, and one wonders how long the nomads’ subsistence existence can last. On a trip to a local village one of the family’s young sons is mesmerized by a television and wishes his parents would buy him one. It’ll cost 30 sheep, says his brother, and we don’t have electricity. In my western worldview household without electricity is a red flag for general impoverishment, but the family in this film seemingly wants for nothing, and is more happy and attuned to each other than many in electrical societies. Perhaps there is more to life than electricity.
There is very little middle ground with Michael Moore — either you love him or you despise him. His latest work, Fahrenheit 9/11 made history when it won the Cannes Film Festival’s coveted Palme d’Or award as a documentary. Despite the accolades it received overseas, there are those at home who do not want you to see it. Just ask the fine folks at Miramax and Disney. Don’t ask the Republican administration, though — they’ve been conspicuously silent, hoping that the hoopla will die down and Michael Moore will just go away. But Moore is not the kind of person who will fade away quietly into the night. Fahrenheit 9/11 will hit you between the eyes and it is clear that he wanted to do exactly that. Moore takes you on a roller-coaster ride of emotions, spinning a political message from what he asserts are ties between the White House and the bin Laden family. At points in the film, you will find yourself laughing at the foibles and out-takes of public officials, punctuated with whimsical music and film clips. At others, seething rage and tears well up as graphic war images and emotional wounds of those directly affected by the conflict in Iraq are laid open for all to see. Fahrenheit 9/11 is not a film for the weak of stomach or heart. The film opens with the debacle of the 2000 presidential election and goes on to criticize the leadership, policies, and ethics of the new president, leading the audience to ask some pointed questions of Bush’s capability and credibility. In typical Moore style, he confronts congressmen about their willingness to send their own children into Iraq. Moreover, he lodges a thinly veiled accusation of racism, contending that minorities compose a higher percentage of recruits in fighting this war. To make the point, he tails two Marine recruiters through economically depressed Flint, Michigan, where a hitch in the military was painted as a step up from unemployment and poverty. The film moves beyond political agenda perhaps by spelling out in indisputable terms the human cost of war on both fronts. In both countries losses are laid out in the universal language of pain — mothers grieving the loss of their children, soldiers bravely grimacing through the pain of wounds, flag-draped caskets. One might ask if this film is manipulative, if it is propaganda, or if it is communicating a message that is otherwise being hidden from the public at-large. Even the film’s detractors, however, must agree that no matter how controversial a film may be, it shouldn’t be banned. Viewers should bear in mind, though, that Fahrenheit 9/11 is one-sided. Through the blur of tears and unadulterated anger, the entire audience stood in applause at the end of the showing I attended. No doubt, the biggest consequence of this film is that people are now asking some difficult questions.
Opens July 23 at the Broadway Centre Theatres, 111 E. 300 South
Opens July 23 at the Broadway Centre Theatres, 111 E. 300 South
Playing now at many theaters in the area.
JULY 22, 2004
by Xenia Cherkaev
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Sports Ohio Pride Demands Surrender of Firearms by David Nelson COLUMBUS, OHIO — Four Central Ohio Pink Pistols (COPP) members refused in June to surrender their legally carried firearms at the Stonewall Columbus Pride Parade and Festival when festival leaders first warned, then demanded, that the arms be surrendered to event security officers or be confiscated by force and not returned. COPP leader Kim Rife was warned before the festival by Kate Anderson, Stonewall organizer Kate AnColumbus Executive Director derson that “Should anyone bring a firearm this Stonewall Columbus event, [it] will be confiscated and not returned, and the individual will be rejected from the event.” Advised by two lawyers that the warning would be illegal, four COPP members attended the festival with their openly carried unloaded firearms, as allowed by the Ohio Constitution. They assisted in carrying a large U.S. flag in the parade.
After the parade, however, a festival organizer carrying a metal nightstick approached the COPP members and said that their firearms were being confiscated and demanded their surrender. The members refused to hand over their firearms and were soon surrounded by about 30 festival security officers. “I think their plan was to subdue us,” Rife said. “So, I started informing them that if they so much as touched us and confiscated our firearms, they’d be guilty of third-degree felony robbery and assault.” Local law enforcement officers arrived and explained the state concealed firearm law, including the conditions by which a firearm may be carried on government property, and that a parade permit might not give privateproperty control to the event organizers. The COPP members agreed, however, to compromise and leave the festival. Utah Pride event organizer Jerry Rapier said in 2003 that he and other organizers recognized that state laws require that legally carried firearms must be permitted at all their events which are produced on government property including the main celebration at Library and Washington Squares. No problems with legal firearms have occurred there since then.
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Rowers Start New York Group NEW YORK — The Gay + Lesbian Rowing Federation helped local organizers on June 27 to launch and promote the New York Pride Rowing Association (http://www. glrf.info/clubs/usa) at the annual New York Pride Festival in Lower Manhattan. Working out of the federation exhibit at the festival, local rowers distributed brochures, recruited subscribers and demonstrated the sport on a rowing machine to interest both current and former rowers as well as those new to the sport. According to organizers, the association will be a community rowing club serving New York’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community, and their friends and supporters. Prior to its launch, the organization secured a berth as one of the first official affiliates for the city’s newly delivered Peter Jay Sharp floating boathouse. Learn-to-row classes are already underway and the first crews of the new club hit the water on July 6. Located on the Harlem River in northeast Manhattan, the boathouse is sponsored by the New York Restoration Project, spearheaded by entertainer and community activist Bette Midler. The goal of the project is to restore, develop and revitalize parks, community gardens and open space in some of the city’s most neglected neighborhoods. The boathouse will host both clubs
and rowing programs, including juniors, collegiate and masters. The association, the Sharp Rowing Club and Manhattan College are among the first affiliates. In return, their boathouse dues will help fund an outreach program targeting local community youth. The idea for the association came about through the efforts of New York Rowing Association Chairman Vincenzo Paparo and Executive Director Thomas P. Curry. Lawyer Robert Bourguignon acted as corporate counsel to New York Pride and provides legal services to non-traditional families and unmarried couples. As part of its commitment to diversity and as a community service, his office decided to foster and support the creation of a city gay rowing club. Paparo indicated that it was the public visibility of out gay and lesbian rowers, crews and clubs around the nation that provided the inspiration for the endeavor. The Gay + Lesbian Rowing Federation is a worldwide umbrella organization for gay and lesbian rowers, promoting and supporting rowing in the gay and lesbian community with web-based resources and information, and serving as a liaison both within the community and the larger international rowing world. More information is available at the group’s site www.glrf.info
Elisia and Carrie Ross-Stone behind filmmaker Keith Wilson, Trapp owner Joe Redburn and Salt Lake Metro publisher Michael Aaron on the Trapp patio during their stay in Salt Lake City. Salt Lake Metro sponsored the Ross-Stones in their visit here.
Cycling Grandmothers Finish 3,800-Mile Ride Across U.S. NEW YORK — About 75 people gathered on July 10 at Pier 45 on the west side of Manhattan to welcome Carrie and Elisia Ross-Stone (http://www.rainbowlaw.com/), two lesbian grandmothers who completed their 3,800mile “Rainbow Ride for Equal Marriage Rights” bicycle ride from San Francisco. The purpose of the ride was to dramatize the need of same-sex partners for legal recognition of their relationships through marriage. The cyclists were joined by members of the Fast and Fabulous gay-biking group, who rode their bikes with the couple to Battery Park, where, viewing the Statue of Liberty, they declared their ride complete. The Front Runners gay-running group also joined the couple on foot for part of their journey to the park and the return to the pier rally. The rally was organized by Fast and Fabulous, and the Marriage Equality New York political group. The Ross-Stones were introduced by Fast and Fabulous representative Lee Gorman. Addressing the crowd, the cyclists said that they felt some of the greatest effect they had was in speaking one-on-one to people throughout the country. “When we talked to people directly, we never got a bad reaction,” Carrie Ross-Stone said. “I think that’s also because we listened. I listened to the reasons people gave for thinking I shouldn’t have the right to marry, and they listened to my reasons why I should.” The cyclists embarked on their ride on May 2 in San Francisco. Their ride covered over 3,800 miles, passing through Utah. They detoured several hundred miles to visit the site of the murder of Matthew Shepard, and to honor his memory. They tried to meet with the mayor of each city and town they passed through, with varying success. Several mayors have refused to meet with them. “We say to the mayors’ offices, and it’s true, that all we want is a couple of minutes of the mayor’s time for quiet, respectful discussion of what marriage means to our families. We have no ulterior motives or political agenda. We just believe it’s important to communicate,” Elisia Ross-Stone said. “We’re very happy when we can meet with someone like Salt Lake City
Mayor Rocky Anderson. And we’re disappointed, and puzzled, by each refusal. After all, what harm can come from meeting for a few minutes with two grandmothers?” For the cyclists, this is their second Rainbow Ride for marriage. On their first ride, they were joined by their son, Colin, and Linda, a friend from San Diego. The four cycled east from St. Augustine, Fla., to San Diego in the spring and summer of 2003. A documentary film crew is recording the cyclists’ journey, including the rallies, the meetings and the long days on the road. The documentary is expected to be completed by September.
Pride Softball Stats THROUGH JUNE 16
1. Modiggity’s 2. Mo’s Grill 3. Equality Utah 4. Try-Angless 5. Paper Moon 6. sWerve / Queers Kick Ash 7. Barton Obray 8. Rainbow Warriors 9. Photo Works
WINS
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6 4 4 3 2 2 1 1 1
0 1 1 2 3 4 5 5 5
7/69 12/79 6/72 22/71 5/64 2/34 5/33 6/32 0/37
Leading Female Hitters NAME
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1. Ayule 2. Shari 3. Sharon 4. Patty 5. Amber
Barton Equality sWerve Paper Moon Mo’s Grill
14 17 15 18 13
13 14 13 17 12
10 9 8 10 7
.769 .643 .615 .588 .583
Leading Male Hitters NAME
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PA
AB
H
AVG
1. Josh 2. Kirk 3. Ryan 4. Mark B. 5. Kevin
Mo’s Grill Tryangles Moon Equality Mo’s Grill
13 20 15 15 16
12 17 15 14 15
11 14 12 11 11
.917 .824 .800 .786 .733
Schedule July 25 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm
Mo’s Grill vs. Equality Utah Try-Angles vs. sWerve/Queers Kick Ash Paper Moon vs. Photo Works Equality Utah vs. Pillar Rainbow Warriors
Schedule August 1 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm
Equality Utah vs. Photo Works Try-Angles vs. Pillar Rainbow Warriors sWerve/Queers Kick Ash vs. Paper Moon Mo’s Grill vs. MoDiggity’s
Fun Stuff Crossword Puzzle A Rose by Any Other Name Old slang for homosexuals. Designated by italicized clues. 50 Chatter ACROSS 1 Ultra conservatives 51 Spring flower 53 Meet are right-____ 54 Utah Tribe 5 Doesn’t win 57 Transgression 10 Foozle 14 6th month (Jewish 59 Hearing part 61 Timid boy calendar) 15 Computer code for 63 Living only a day 69 To characters 70 Homely 16 Land unit 71 Approach 17 Small particle 72 Old 18 Skins 73 Omit 19 Ray of sunshine 20 Slick Person 2 words 74 __ matter 75 Not as much 22 Sacred song 76 Glass kitchenware 23 Bud 77 Sudden vanishing 24 River (Portugese) 26 North by east DOWN 27 A servant to an 1 Youngster upperclassman (U.K.) 2 Hit American __ 30 Duck (Spanish) 3 North Atlantic Treaty 33 Oh my! Organization 35 A bottom’s best 4 Understand friend (2 words) 5 Frilly boy 37 Nickname for early 6 Norway capital spring flower in 7 Check out Shakespeare’s day 8 __ duck 42 Is that to stay or __ 9 Brother’s sibling __? (2 words) 10 Talks incessantly 43 Flying saucer 11 Pacific, for example 44 Condiment (slang) 12 Toothbrush brand 45 Chimney 13 With feminine traits 49 Bacon 21 Use up
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Russian unit of weight The other half of Jima Piano rocker Domino Particle Disco à ___ Tense Waste parts Coward Jail (slang) Central points
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WordSearch
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Find the words below that are antiquated synonyms for gay people. When you are done, the unused letters will spell out a hidden message.
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ANGELINA BUTTERCUP BUTTERFLY BENDER BENTWRIST CAMPBITCH CHIRUJO BIRDIE CISSY BIRL COOCH BITCH COOLIE BUNTER
COW DANDY DUCK FAG FAY FILLY FU
LOCA MIN PIX QUIN SIS SISSY
HIDDEN MESSAGE: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
__ __
__ __ __ __ __ __ ?
Solutions can be found in the Comics.
58 Willie Olsen’s sister 60 Summary 62 Turfs 64 Two 65 Conceal 66 Rolled chocolate candy brand 67 Bullets 68 What falls 70 Spirit — MICHAEL AARON
Country in SE Asia Harp U-shaped crossbar Cushy Slide on snow Sneeze wipe Sweet potato Regular Dye Painter Richard
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Queeriscaping Pro-Bush Rhetoric by Brandie Balken Are you feeling disenfranchised? Do you feel as though your lifestyle, your character and your family have been vilified and misrepresented? Have you decided that Bush offers you and your community nothing worth voting for? Would you rather vote for a stick than good ol’ G.W.? Fabulous! Have I got the bush for you! I personally guarantee that these shrubs will not disappoint you — they will live up to their promises, and they will not take our country to war. They will treat you as an equal in every manner and they will not sell you out to appease the religious right. Nor will they harm the environment — on the contrary, they will improve it! Finally, if they ever speak, they will say something intelligent. All of these bushes are beautiful, all of them thrive in our climate, and all have something a little “extra” to offer your landscape, whether it be intense foliar color, highly fragrant flowers or persistent berries to draw the birds to your yard. As always, I have chosen the more unusual and unique plants to speak about, so you may notice the old standbys are not listed here. Blue Arctic Willow (Salix purpurea ‘nana’) These plants have lovely, wispy, blue-gray foliage that clasps the stem, and have an overall rounded shape. They have incredible motion in any wind — visualize a weeping willow much smaller and without a trunk. They grow to eight feet tall and four feet wide, and can be hedged if desired. These deciduous plants perform in full sun to part shade, and need average water.
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JULY 22, 2004
Black Knight Butterfly Bush (Buddleja davidii) As their common name indicates, these plants attract butterflies, which can be a wonderful focal point in any back yard. This variety, black knight, boasts rich purple-black spikes of flowers with tiny orange eyes. Imagine a thinner, more dramatic lilac with all the fragrance. Although these plants can be a bit unruly in their growth habit, their repeat blooms more
20-something SATURDAY LUNCH GROUP 1pm at the GLCCU Conference Room (above the coffee shop.) A lunch group for gay men in their twenties. Bring lunch and mingle. sky_walker8@hotmail.com
than compensate. Buddleja grow six to eight feet tall and wide, need average water and prefer full sun. Yew (Taxus spp.) Yews are wonderful, soft-leaved evergreens that have deep green foliage, and bright red berries in the fall. Imagine a densely foliaged pine tree with soft, supple needles and red berries. Yews grow to eight feet tall and wide, but can easily be hedged. They will tolerate deep shade but can also grow in partial sun, and prefer average water. Golden Currant (Ribes aureum, Ribes odoratum) The golden currant has many things to offer: a delicate yellow, highly fragrant bloom in early spring; a multiple-lobed leaf that carries a light clove scent; and persistent berries to attract birds in the fall as well as bronze-tinged foliage. The currant grows best in full to partial sun with average water, but can integrate into a xeriscape and will reach six feet in height and three feet in width — but will hedge if desired. Purple Ninebark (Physocarpus opulifolius ‘diablo’) The ninebark is also a worthy specimen, definitely deserving of “veep” status. Its stunning purple foliage and profuse pale pink clusters of scented blooms in late spring and early summer attract birds, bees and butterflies to a garden. It is drought tolerant and it grows to five feet tall and six feet wide. The ninebark prefers sun to partial shade. Oregon Grape Holly (Mahonia aquifolium) This is perhaps the most common of all the plants mentioned in this column, but they’re such great performers that I just can’t leave them out. They are also one of the only shrubs I know that can tolerate dry shade. Oregon grape is a low-growing evergreen with a maximum height of approximately 24 inches with a slow-spreading habit. The plant sports bright yellow flowers in mid-spring which mature to blue-purple berries in the fall that the birds love. The cold weather brings out a reddish-purple tinge to the foliage that is an interesting addition in any landscape. Viburnum Doublefile (Viburnum plicatum var. tomentosum) This is it, pumpkins! This is the one, the only, the bush to top all bushes, the truly presidential bush. This viburnum has it all: heavily scented pink/white blooming heads from spring to early summer which mature to red berries that ripen to black. It has outstanding form that gives it a layered, almost cascading look. It grows wider than tall, its maximum height is six feet, and maximum width eight feet. It is a specimen bush — something unique and unusual that all your visitors will admire. This is a bush that will improve all relations, both foreign and domestic! So you see my friends, not all bushes are bad. There are actually some that can enhance your life (or at least your yard.) Remember: Ask not what your landscape can do for you, but what you can do for your landscape! Brandie Balken is a horticulturist in Salt Lake City and can be seen at Cactus & Tropicals.
ADAM AND ANDY by James Asal
FOR SALE GUITAL LESSONS: 14 years experience, acoustic and classical, flexible scheduling and lessons for all ages. $12 dollars per 1/2 hour lesson, will come to your home. eyez4096@yahoo.com
HELP WANTED
SALT LAKE CITY Delivery driver to help with the distribution of Salt Lake Metro. Must have own vehicle and be available every other Wednesday and Thursday. Will pay hourly rate plus mileage. Call or email Steven for details at (801) 323-9500 or steven@slmetro.com
OGDEN DRIVER WANTED for Salt Lake Metro’s Ogden Route. Must have own vehicle and be available every other Wednesday or Thursday. Will pay hourly rate plus mileage. Call or email Steven for details at (801) 323-9500 or steven@slmetro.com
ROOM MATES 2 FEMALES wanted to share house...pvt room share bath. wash/dry avail. no smoke pet okay. fenced yard. $325/mo incl util and cable. 230-2529
GAY LESBIAN ROOMMATE WANTED sugarhouse area. PVT Bedroom/shared bath, cable, internet 380-400 Mo. Includes utilities. Female dogs welcome. Contact Sheri 474-9192
REAL ESTATE FRIENDLY INTENTION Community Cohousing, 16-26 private homes share 5 acres 10 minutes from downtown, SLC. 3BR, Loft, High Ceilings, 2Bath, Exceptional shared facilities, FSBO, $154,000. Orchard, Wild Space, Play Areas, Garage, Neighbors act as extended family. 972-2894 www.econ.utah.edu.coho FAILED SALE—Sold in 2 weeks. 1992 Multi with private park like yard. Immaculate 3 bed, 2 bath, 2 car. Central Air, vaults. Show fussy buyers. $165,000. 1782 W. Apls Way. Dawn Colbert, Signature Group RE, 801-979-3558 SUGARHOUSE HIDEAWAY—Incredible kitchen remodel, wood fplc, hardwood, granite counters, wine chiller, functional mother-inlaw, deck, surround sound, 2 car w/opener, wkshp, extras. $225,000. Dawn Colbert, Signature Group RE, 979-3558 CLASSIFIEDS ONLY $5 a line. Call 323-9500.
AVENUES INVESTMENT— Hardwood flrs, fplc, 3 bed, 2 bath, 1 car gar w/wkshp. Walk-out, stainless steel appliances. One yr. lease in place. $209,000. Dawn Colbert, Signature Group RE, 801-979-3558 NEW LISTING—Perfect 2 bed, 1 bath starter. Stream runs behind. Walkout patio w/park-like backyard. Quiet location, mature trees surrounding make it an ideal place for someone who has a night job. Great daytime sleeping. $98,000 Dawn Colbert, Signature Group RE, 801-979-3558 HOME FOR SALE, Priced to sell, $89,900, 720 West 500 North, SLC, 2 nice bedrooms, 2 ½ baths, 2 car carport, very clean and well kept. (801) 652-2986 Terry Simmons/REMAX
DOWNTOWN TWIN HOME – model unit $138,650. 3BR/2BA, only one left. 586 No. 800W. See tour at urbanutah.com. Babs De Lay, Broker, cell: 201-UTAH URBAN FARM! (almost!) Downtown mansion on .29 AC w huge garage + shop. 4 BR/4BA $234,900 See tour at urbanutah.com Babs De Lay, Broker, cell: 201-UTAH
COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE NEW OFFICE CONDO’S, Redwood Rd. exposure in S. Jordan. Starting at $125,000. 980–5,733 sf available. Cambridge office complex. Dawn Colbert, Signature Group RE, 801979-3558
PETS
GAY STREET. 1936 Tudor, 4 Bd, 2 bath in the West Capitol Hill neighborhood, several gay households. 242 W. Reed Ave (740 North) $149,000. John P Poulos 801-641-8998 poujoh@wfrmls.com
PUG FOR SALE Cute 1-1/2 old pug. Has papers. Very friendly, loving and playful. House trained and makes a very good friend. Very cute personality. A very handsome dog that would be great for puppies. Call (435) 840-3047 ask for Kris. $450.00 or best offer.
URBAN CONDO at the Dakota lofts-1 BR $124,900. See tours at urbanutah.com. Babs De Lay, Broker cell: 201-UTAH
IF YOU SEE NEWS happening that Salt Lake Metro should cover, please call us at 323-9500 or email editor@slmetro.com
MISC
SERVICE DIRECTORY ACCOUNTING
AUDIO VIDEO
ESTATE PLAN
MASSAGE
ACCOUNTING & MORE, Inc. Toni Johnson, Bookkeeping, Tax Preparation. 801-4120600. 1800 S 900 E #4, SLC. a.a.more@earthlink.net
DAN FAHNDRICH PRODUCTIONS. Creation in multi-media. Choreography of still or video images with music onto DVD. 801-487-2593. dan. fahndrich@earthlink.net
JANE MARQUARDT & DOUG FADEL Attorneys at Law, providing comprehensive estate planning services, custom designed to your unique family situation, including trusts, wills, partnership agreements, estate administration. 801-294-7777
BIG HANDS Make A Big Difference 6’3” LMT downtown In/Out call. You should get the deep relaxation you pay for. Call Ben @913-1803 LMT #5606773-4701
ATTORNEY MARLIN G. CRIDDLE, P.C. Serving Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered communities. Estate Planning, Probate, Criminal Law, Bankruptcy, Corporations/Business. 474-2299. marlincriddle.com
ADVERTISING SERVICE DIRECTORY listings $25. Call 323-9500 today!
CELL PHONES FREE AIRLINE TRAVEL and free phones for all “family” members. Camera phones $49.00. Keep your current mobile number. Call James at Penny Phones (801) 8089898. Many Carriers & Plans. SERVICE DIRECTORY listings are a great deal at $25. Call 323-9500 today!
GROUPS GLBT CONVERGYS EMPLOYEES Join our Yahoo! Group and meet up with other GLBT employees. http://groups. yahoo.com/group/cvg-glbt UTAH MALE NATURISTS A nonsexual group who likes to enjoy life au naturel. Naked lunches, campouts, beach outings. groups.yahoo.com/ group/utahmalenaturists
HANDYMEN
PHOTO FIX YOUR PHOTOS. Restore and/or colorize old photos. Retouch or alter in any way. Call 856-5780 or email staysik@hotmail.com
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SERVICE DIRECTORY listings are a great deal at $25. Call 323-9500 or visit slmetro. com today!
SALT LAKE METRO
JEWELERS CUSTOM DESIGN JEWELRY. Relaxed atmosphere. All types of stone settings. Commitment rings, wedding rings, earrings, pendants. Repairs welcome. Charley Hafen Jewelers. Trolley Square. 521-7711
NEON NEON. Personal, Business, Art, Repairs. Fast reliable service. Rod 801-558-4912 rodwaters@hotmail.com
323-9500
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ADVANTAGE CLEANING Systems – Cleaning, Painting, Carpet cleaning, landscaping, hauling. You name it, we’ll do it! (Well... if it’s legal) 502-6071.
MAN’S TOUCH. Stimulate your senses, or feel deep peace with a relaxing full body massage. Call Therron for an appointment 801-8793583 for $5 off mention this ad. LMT#5608006
If you see news happening that Salt Lake Metro should cover, please call our hotline at
JULY 22, 2004
GAY WINE CLUB. Join qVinum at qvinum.com for monthly wine tastings and events.
JEALOUS??? Male massage therapist to the stars! Full body salt scrub/massage. Downtown Salt Lake City (801) 205 1755 BEST THERAPISTS, Best Price, Best Place, Best Hours. Call for appointment 486-5500. Pride Massage. 1800 South West Temple, Suite A224.
StarGayzer by Madam Lichtenstein If you believe that actions speak louder (and prouder) than words, imagine what happens when Mars opposes retro Neptune this week. Actions not only speak — they rant, rave and go off on “wilde” tangents. They also set off minor nuclear chain reactions. Avoid aftershocks and fallout by keeping petty tantrums to yourself ... for now.
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ARIES (Mar 21 to Apr 20) Mars pushes Neptune and provides perky gay rams with far too much of a good thing ... or so it will seem. Fun, creative endeavors and even a possible romance can shift into overdrive if you fail to pace and brace. However, with all this delusional energy abounding, you may fancy yourself to be quite the bon-vivant in certain select circles. Or is that among certain squares?
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TAURUS (Apr 21 to May 21) Over-the-top fun is in the making as Saturn sextiles Jupiter this week.
Queer bulls are the masters of ceremony and have a few jolly things to say to get the ball rolling. As you boogie into the night with reckless Jupiterian abandon, things may get out of hand and you can wind up at the bottom of the heap by the morning. Alas, some things never change.
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GEMINI (May 22 to Jun 21) Pink twins practically bellow their opinions when Mars pushes retro Neptune. If you enjoy creating a ruckus that can run amok, the possibilities are endless now. Your rants are broadcasted internationally. Prepare for an incident; the mouthy anvil that you toss today can crush your toes (or worse) tomorrow. Sometimes it’s better to keep your petty demands chez nous.
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CANCER (Jun 22 to Jul 23) Prepare to dive into a deep pool of pennies from heaven during
the Mars-Neptune opposition. But it’s not for keeps — so keep prying hands off. Financial investment strategies should be shelved if possible now. Anything you covet probably belongs to someone else and will cost far more than expected with less value in the long run. I know that proud crabs don’t like it that way.
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LEO (Jul 24 to Aug 23) The unprincipled energy of Mars and retro Neptune results in a lurid
public display if you’re not careful. Proud lions should not rush into center stage now; your cargo pants will drop and your underwear may be, ahem, drafty. No matter — as long as you stay behind the scenes, no one need see your shortcomings. Check for spinach in your teeth before you meet anyone new.
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VIRGO (Aug 24 to Sep 23) Intuition is not generally your strong suit when Mars faces retro Nep-
tune. Avoid acting on any vague mental rumblings if at all possible. In your attempt to dislodge hidden enemies, you may miscalculate and open up your Achilles heel to a swift kick. Ouch! Poor gay virgins should sit this battle out and console themselves with a pleasant, stress-reducing pastime. Oh do tell!
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LIBRA (Sep 24 to Oct 23) Don’t take on more tangos than you can easily fit on your dance card when feisty Mars opposes Neptune. Gay Libras who take too much on socially will more than likely tip their scales over in exhaustion. Friends may become especially needy now. You’ll do them a better service if you remain on the sidelines. Let them make their own mistakes while you provide the tea and sympathy.
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SCORPIO (Oct 24 to Nov 22) Even politically astute proud Scorps may inadvertently mouth off to
the head honcho when Mars pokes retro Neptune. Professional aspirations may be jolted and set off course now so play any corporate cards close to the vest and don’t take any extreme action if you can avoid it. Of course, there is something nice about sleeping late before you pick up your unemployment check.
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SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 to Dec 22) Gay archers hanker for far horizons. Sit tight for a bit when Mars upends retro Neptune. Travel may become too difficult or too unwieldy or you may find that exotic locales are too much trouble to navigate. Also avoid pushing the envelope on lawsuits or any legal issues. Your words run amok and can make mincemeat out of any carefully planned attack. Take a one-week recess.
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CAPRICORN (Dec 23 to Jan 20) The Mars/Neptune opposition can make pink Caps too hot to
handle and too darn heady to care. Your embers are poked into a raging fire that can soon burn out of control. Before you singe your best assets on a faulty match, take a good look at the object of your desire and measure their true worth. There is a good chance that you will spend on a dreamboat and be left with only a leaky dingy.
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AQUARIUS (Jan 21 to Feb 19) Mars crosses Neptune and causes some nasty contretemps with partners. If you’re ready to scuttle the Love Boat, you find an impetus and any excuse. But if there is still a bit of spark between the two of you, why not wait a week before you try anything or anyone new? Single Aqueerians feel the need to meet and greet but will do so with two left feet. Show ’em how to dance next week.
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PISCES (Feb 20 to Mar 20) Guppies may overdo it in the exercise department when Mars opposes Neptune. Why not relax and be a bit lazy? You never know when a tail will get caught in the treadmill or a fin gets hooked in the weight rack. Exertion is not in the stars, honey — and that goes for the job too. Don’t expend any extra energy wondering what you can do to get ahead at work. So what else is new? Cruise TheStarryEye.com for prescient horoscopes and insightful articles. Madam Lichtenstein is the author of the highly acclaimed “HerScopes: a Guide to Astrology for Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster. This book would have won the Pulitzer had the voting not been rigged.
WOMEN FOR WOMEN
PERSONALS MISSED CONNECTIONS I’VE SEEN YOU IN MY DREAMS! and now i want to get you into my future.If you are 28-40 fit funky and female get on the keyboard. REPLY TO BOX 25, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
I SAW YOU at the Jazz Festival. Thanks, seeing you again reminded me that you just don’t have the “NESS” anymore! Have a nice life and I really mean it! Oh and cut your damn hair! REPLY TO BOX 26, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
SATURDAY, JUNE 12, at MoDiggity’s 10pm show. We chatted in line a couple of times, but I never got your name. You: short dark hair, white tank, glasses around your neck, and a gorgeous smile. Me: curly brown hair and black shirt. I would love to chat more. REPLY TO BOX 15, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
SOFTBALL BABE You were watching at the Pride Softball League, looked like you were out for injury. I was in the white FCUK t-shirt and we traded grins. REPLY TO BOX 19, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
EUROPEAN CONNECTION Sat 5Jun04 2PM. You on a date in blue shirt, me red hair in the white shirt wearing glasses. REPLY TO BOX 12, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
COWBOY Saw you at the Trapp on karaoke night. You had a cream-colored cowboy hat and handlebar mustache (no - not the waiter). I had a Hawaiian shirt on and figured you’d shoo me away. I wanna ride your horse. Wanna ride mine? REPLY TO BOX 20, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
MEN FOR MEN
HEY ASSHOLE You cut me off on Bangerter Hwy. I sped around you to flip you off, but you were too cute. You in red Honda Civic with white interior. Me in black Subaru WRX.
LIFE’S TOO SHORT to be alone GWM, 38 yrs old seeks LTR with a great guy. I’m outgoing and fun and a little kinky. You should be 30-40 yrs old with same goals. Smoke and drug-free a must.
REPLY TO BOX 18, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
REPLY TO BOX 16, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
SOMEONE CATCH your eye? Wanted to meet them, but were too shy? Get your own Missed Connections ad for just a buck at 323-9500 or slmetro.com
MODERN AESTHETIC 28 SWM Gay. Downtown seeks partner for conversation, arts performances, etc. Love travel, cooking, fine dining. REPLY TO BOX 5, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
GRYFF Hot fun intellectual artistic spritualist/pagan Bi 32WM 175# 6’ seeks openness honesty fun-loving individuals to expand friendship base, and possibly more. Must be free-spirited and NO jealousy REPLY TO BOX 7, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
PROFESSIONAL with no time to date. Just looking for short-term companionship with nice guy(s). Prefer smaller, smooth. Latin a plus. REPLY TO BOX 21, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
SPEED DATING If you have tried all the other ways to meet that special someone, try Speed Dating sponosered by Salt Lake Metro at Club Panini, a private club for members. Monday, August 2, 7pm. Details 323-9500
SPEED DATING If you have tried all the other ways to meet that special someone, try Speed Dating sponosered by Salt Lake Metro at Club Panini, a private club for members. Monday, August 2, 7pm. Details 323-9500
DWF,59,Warm,kind,fun, feminine, attractive professional seeks same. LDS/given up on men. Seek emotionally commited, stable relationship. Love music, conversa., the out of doors, Young/active
OTHER Seeking Information about Richard Ferre. Call Teresa at 801-363-8888.
WF, 38, busy and a little
shy,looking for friend or more, esp other classy smart professional women. Wild side likes to romp and shop during stolen afternoons but can behave, too. REPLY TO BOX 3, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM
Salt Lake Metro
Personals are still just a buck!
NEW IN TOWN, or interested in meeting new friends? Come to sWerve monthlies, 3rd Saturday of each month, GLBT Center. Info 539-8800 ext. 25 or www.swerveutah. com (join email list!)
Get yours today by going to slmetro.com or call 323-9500.
FIND YOUR MATCH in
FIND YOUR MATCH in
the Salt Lake Metro classifieds. 323-9500 or visit slmetro.com
the Salt Lake Metro classifieds. 323-9500 or visit slmetro.com
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HIDDEN MESSAGE: ENDEARMENT OR INSULT?
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