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“The best advertising I do” —JAY HALLSTROM
pages Get in the 2019 directory of Utah’s LGBT-friendly businesses today by calling 801-997-9763 or emailing sales@qsaltlake.com
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news The top national and world news since last issue you should know BY CRAIG OGAN
Vanity or insanity license plate? Choosing a vanity plate requires due diligence in Arizona. A license plate with “In God We Trust” as a slogan is a donation to Alliance Defending Freedom, an anti-LGBTQ organization the Southern Poverty Law Center calls a “hate group.” The Alliance supported a baker who refused to bake a cake for a gay couple and represented a Christian charity that refused to allow a homeless transgender woman at its overnight shelter. The Arizona DOT website does not mention that ADF is the beneficiary of the $25 plates, but obfuscates that the “$17 goes to promote the national motto ‘In God We Trust.’ Legislation has been proposed to create better transparency for donations connected with vanity plates.
UK Guard award in discrimination case Courts in the United Kingdom ruled a prison guard was unfairly dismissed after complaining of “years of homophobic abuse.” The guard says he experienced abuse from colleagues when they learned he was bisexual. Mean guards commented on his appearance and called him names like “gay,” “poof,” and “vermin.” He styled his hair differently and stopped having his eyelashes
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tinted to avoid being harassed, but harassment continued and he complained to his supervisor who didn’t do anything to stop the harassment. He was eventually fired for using unnecessary force against a prisoner. A judge agreed that the man was unfairly dismissed and his dismissal was an act of victimization. The prisoner he beat up was not asked his opinion.
HIV ruling stops AF discharge A federal judge ordered the U.S. Air Force to temporarily stop discharging service members who are HIV-positive, calling the policy “irrational” and “outdated.” The USAF claims the airman are unfit for duty despite the recommendations of their doctors and commanding officers, who say they are fit to serve. They are not able to serve outside the USA without waivers from “host countries,” some of whom don’t readily give the waivers, making them “unfit for duty.” The judge didn’t buy it, writing, that because of the advances in medicine and treatment for HIV, their status, “does not impose unreasonable burdens on the military when compared to similar chronic conditions.”
Martina Nav Tennis champ Martina Navratilova was criticized for tweeting, “There must be some standards, and having a penis and competing as a woman would not fit that standard.” Rachel McKinnon, 6�4� 200 lb transgender women professional cyclist, replied then, cyclists don’t cycle with their penis and Martina must be “trans-phobic.” The tennis great backed off saying she would educate herself. Now, the Times of London published her recent column, “The rules on trans athletes reward cheats
and punish the innocent,” putting her fat in the fire. After self-education she came at the issue with both barrels writing in the Times, “If anything, my views have strengthened. It’s insane and it’s cheating. I am happy to address a transgender woman in whatever form she prefers, but I would not be happy to compete against her. It would not be fair.” She says professional sports requiring a reduction of hormone levels doesn’t solve the problem. Martina wrote, “A man builds up muscle and bone density, as well as a greater number of oxygen-carrying red blood cells, from childhood.” She says that physical conditioning doesn’t go away with testosterone reduction. McKinnon reasserted on Twitter that Martina is transphobic. Out Magazine opined she has become a TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist).
File under: blind pig finds truffle U.S. Ambassador to Germany Richard Grenell, the highest-profile gay person in the current administration announced that he is leading the U.S. effort to end decriminalization of homosexuality in the 70 countries that still outlaw homosexuality or criminalize gay and lesbian status or conduct. He’s working to get the UN, the European Union and the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe to work with the US State Department’s Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights and Labor on the effort. The effort is focused only on decriminalization and avoids marriage equality or discrimination issues concerning other letters of the acronym .
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No splitting hairs on US citizenship The U.S. State Department ruled that only one twin resulting from a surrogate union of a male U.S. male citizen, a male Canadian citizen, and the surrogate mother was a U.S. citizen. The government claimed a DNA test showed only one twin had U.S. chromosomes. A federal judge ruled the government erred in applying DNA to citizenship. The statute, according to the judge, was about the marital status of the couple, not the nationality of their sperm. The men are legally married in the U.S. so the twins get to be U.S. citizens.
Gay Catholic Priests A former Park City, Utah priest is one of only 10 “out” gay men in the Roman Catholic Church in the USA according to the New York Times. In a survey on the priesthood, the Times postulates that gay men comprise anywhere from 30 to 40 percent of the American Catholic clergy. The newspaper writes the percentage could be much higher, quoting a Florida priest, “A third is gay, a third is straight and a third doesn’t know what the hell they are.” Fear of losing livelihood, housing, health insurance and retirement pensions is the reason so few profess something relatively irrelevant to a celibate workforce. “I was in my 50s when I came out,” Father Bob Bussen, a priest (now) in Salt Lake City, told the Times. The Times said the average age of coming out is now 15 years old. Bussen said he was 50 years old when he openly discussed being gay.
Rocky Mountain Low, again So another Colorado citizen, this time a wedding videographer, has refused services for a same sex couple‘s wedding.
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The excuse, this time, because his Christian faith tells him that gay people can’t produce healthy families. The videographer says he has gay friends (none have stepped forward), “and if they want to hang out and me to do a video for them, it’s totally cool and will hang.” Not sure what else he could expect, but he says he’s upset at the publicity which paints him as anti-gay.
Indiana Loves them Queens Drag Queen Story Hour at a library in Evansville, Ind. attracted some controversy when some parents found it inappropriate for their children. A protest was announced and it drew a big crowd, just not one they expected. About 275 children and adults attended a scheduled story-time hosted by performer Florintine Dawn. Another 150 people were unable to attend the event, but were accommodated at other library events. Outside the library 25 anti-Drag Queen Story Time protesters marched in the rain then adjourned to a local church for a less fabulous reading. Moral to the story: “Librarians, Drag Queens are good for business.”
San Antonio The owner of a nightclub in San Antonio, Tex. has previously run for office as a Democratic candidate now has announced for congress as a Republican. He is a member of Texas Log Cabin Republicans and says, “I do not wish to force Americans to understand our culture and various subcultures or even to accept them. However, I will continue to fight for the American agenda that allows the members of the LGBTQ community to exercise our freedoms.” His posts show support for the current administration’s effort to decriminalize gay and lesbian
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behavior world-wide, he also reposts from transgender unfriendly Glen Beck’s magazine and speaks kindly of waffle fries and chicken sandwiches from Chick-fil-A.
Methodists say no to gays and lesbians The United Methodist Church General Conference in St. Louis voted down a plan that would allow celebration of marriage equality and ordination of gay and lesbian clergy, called the One Church Plan. Some congregations already practice the tenets of “One Church,” but not all. A substitute plan, called the Traditional Plan is being debated which would prohibit gay and lesbian equality in the church and force all congregations to follow the plan. The ban on marriage equality and clergy members has been in place since 1972, but has been cordially ignored by many in the church. The 12 million member USA United Methodist is a member of the World Council of Churches and the World Methodist Council. The UMC is the largest denomination of the approximately 80 million members around the world.
Call Wharton O’Brien Law
Change a’comin’ to Chicago mayor’s office Regardless the winner, the race for Chicago will have a historic “first” woman elected, as two female candidates won the primary. More historic will be if Lori Lightfoot wins. She will be the first lesbian to run what we still think of as the 2nd City (sorry LA). Both women came in ahead of Bill Daley, who worked in the Obama and Clinton administrations. Lightfoot had says her race, gender, and sexual orientation were not issues and, given her opponent, those issues won’t come up.
Wharton O’Brien, PLLC 165 S Main Street, Suite 200 Salt Lake City, Utah 84111 chriswhartonlaw.com
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Utah bill to prohibit conversion therapy to minors is announced BY MICHAEL AAON
A press conference organized by Equality Utah to announce a bill that would prohibit licensed counselors from practicing therapies aimed at changing a client’s sexual orientation or gender identity drew a wide range of legislators and organizations to the Utah Capitol Thursday. The bill, HB399, is titled “Prohibition of the Practice of Conversion Therapy upon Minors” and “prohibits certain health care professionals from providing conversion therapy to a minor; and adds a violation of the prohibition to the list of conduct that constitutes unprofessional conduct for licensing purposes.” Troy Williams, EU executive director, started by thanking members of the Utah Legislature for advancing anti-suicide measures as numbers of suicides and suicide attempts grows in the state. “We know there is more than one factor that contributes to suicide, so there must be more than one solution,” Williams said. “As we’ve talked to people in the LGBTQ community, we hear about people’s experience with conversion therapy. We’ve talked to people in their late 60s and as young as 18 years old who went to therapists who tried to alter, fix, reduce, or cure their same-sex attraction.” He said they all spoke of increased depression and their attempts of suicide. Williams said EU approached Rep. Craig Hall, R-West Valley City, several months ago to spearhead the legislation and he agreed. Then, on the first day of the session, Sen. Dan McKay came to Williams saying he wanted to be the Utah PHOTO FROM SEN. DEREK KITCHEN’S FACEBOOK WALL.
Senate sponsor. McKay is known for being conservative, earning an 89 percent rating by the American Conservative Union and 98 percent by Libertas Institute. “Senator Dan McKay?? Let’s do this!” Williams says he exclaimed. Hall said he was proud to sponsor the legislation that “helps us protect children from conversion therapy.” “We know that conversion therapy has been proven again and again to not be effective,” Hall said. “Fifteen states have prohibited conversion therapy because they understand that conversion therapy has proven to be not effective and is particularly harmful, especially to youth.” McKay said the way this bill has been worked is what makes him proud to be a Utahn. “This is what Utah does when Utah is at its best,” he said. “We come together, we work together, we put our arms around one another and we try and find solutions. And in my opinion, and we will see if my colleagues agree, this is the Utah we want.” “This has been an education for me, as not a prototypical sponsor, potentially, for an issue like this. But it has been shown in this education process how important it is to our youth to understand how much we love you, how much we value you, and we want every single one of you to be part of the future. We don’t want to lose any of you. University of Utah law professor Cliff Rosky helped draft the bill and said it was based on all 15 states’ passed legislation, including six states where the legislation was signed by Republican governors.
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Asked about the odds of the bill being passed in this legislative session, Rosky was optmistic. “I think we are very confident this bill will pass,” Rosky said. “We have Republicans behind us, Democrats behind us. We’ve heard from key stakeholders in the community (pointing towards the Church Office Building). I don’t see why this wouldn’t pass this year.” “We know that suicide is the leading cause of death among our youth. We know that recent studies show that LGBT youth who are subjected to conversion therapy have double the rates of depression and nearly three times the rate of suicide attempts. This is an urgent, pressing issue. As Sen. McKay said, this is what Utah does best: protect its children. And this bill protects children from conversion therapy, which is a dangerous and discredited praactice.” Rosky quoted the definition of conversion therapy as, “any practice or treatment that seeks to change the sexual orientation or gender identity of a patient or client, including mental health therapy that seeks to change, eliminate, or reduce behaviors, expressions, attractions, or feelings related to a patient or client’s sexual orientation or gender identity. The bill “is neutral with respect to sexual orientation or gender identity which provides assistance to a patient or client undergoing gender transition; provides acceptance, support, and understanding of a patient or client; facilitates a patient or client’s ability to cope, social support, and identity exploration and development; addresses unlawful, unsafe, premarital, or extramarital sexual activities in a manner that is neutral with respect to sexual orientation; or discusses with a patient or client the patient or client’s moral or religious beliefs or practices.” The bill also specifically excludes “a clergy member or religious counselor who is acting substantially in a pastoral or religious capacity and not in the capacity of a health care professional; or a parent or grandparent who is a health care professional and who is acting substantially in the capacity of a parent or grandparent and not in the capacity of a health care professional.”
LDS CHURCH RELEASES STATEMENT On Wednesday, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced that, since all of their concerns about the bill in relation to religious liberty issues have
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been satisfactorily addressed, they “do not oppose” the bill. Because the bill only addresses state-certified mental health therapists, clergy and others who are not licensed medical professionals are not covered by it. “As the church has repeatedly stated, we denounce any therapy, including reparative or conversion therapy, that subjects an individual to abusive practices not only in Utah, but throughout the world,” the church’s chief lobbyist, Marty Stephens, told media outlets. “We appreciate the willingness of the sponsor of this legislation to work with us to make sure that counseling that is in line with the Church’s standards, such as abstinence before marriage, does not fall under the definition of conversion therapy,” Stephens said. “Our initial concerns over religious freedom issues have been addressed and resolved, so the church does not oppose the bill in its current form.” Stephens went on to say church leaders hope those who “experience same-sex attraction find compassion and understanding from family members, professional counselors, and church members.” Over the past decades, the church has, at many levels, been involved in therapies to change sexual orientation. Efforts at Brigham Young University included electro-shock and biofeedback therapies. Church leaders were heavily involved in Evergreen International, which had a stated mission to assist “people who want to diminish same-sex attractions and overcome homosexual behavior.” As such therapies proved fruitless, they were largely abandoned across the country. Evergreen closed its doors, replaced by North Star, the mission of which is to “provide a place of community for Latter-day Saints who experience homosexual attraction or gender identity incongruence.” Leaders of North Star say they take no position on whether sexual orientation can change, however, two co-founders of the group were heavily involved in People Can Change and its Journey Into Manhood project which promised the ability to change ones’ sexual attractions. Journey Into Manhood is now called Brother’s Road and is still offering weekend retreats, though the website is being scrubbed to remove its “change” language. A Utah retreat scheduled this summer has been indefinitely postponed.
RECENT STORIES OF CONVERSION THERAPY OF TEENS Two men went to the podium to tell their stories. University of Utah student Nathan Dalley, 19, who grew up in Lehi, Utah, spoke of being out in high school, but also knew he was experiencing depression and anxiety at the age of 16. “At the time I hated the fact that I was gay more than anything else and desperately wanted to do something to fit into my community,” Dalley said. “The messages I received about the LGBTQ community were all negative.” “I determined the only way to get better was to not to be gay,” he continued. “I chose to enter into conversion therapy.” He was assured by the therapist that his depression and his homosexuality could be fixed. He was given long-debunked advice that he was gay because of childhood trauma and bad relationships with male figures. “I was told I could overcome my samesex attraction if I became more muscular, played sports with other boys, talked with a more masculine voice, [and] wore more masculine clothing,” he continued. “One aversion technique involved wearing a rubber band on my wrist and snapping it every time I had gay thoughts.” “It was because of this therapy that I began to loathe myself,” he said. “I thought more about suicide than ever … at one point, I tried to overdose with sleeping pills.” He said he is now glad he was not successful, but other children were not as lucky. He said that conversion therapy is harmful and that he feels the negative effects of the therapy “every day.” Arturo Fuentes also started conversion therapy while in high school in Provo, Utah, without his parents’ knowledge. He continued on with the therapy for 10 years as his therapists told him he was gay because of poor parenting, a bad relationship with his father, and an overbearing mother. “My parents are wonderful people,” he said. ” I knew that if they found out I was gay and it was because of them, that would be hell for them. It was a horror I did not want to experience, so I vowed not to tell them.” He was told that if he worked hard enough he would change. As change didn’t happen, he began to feel shame and went into a depression, distancing himself from
friends and family. As he began to ideate dying, he decided it was time to tell his parents at the age of 28. “The love that they shared towards me started my journey to self-love and self-healing,” he said. He said that conversion therapy was an unfair burden on children. “It’s my hope that we can eliminate this practice and focus on these beautiful, young members of the LGBTQ community and, rather than help in making them change, help them learn to love themselves.
SUICIDE ISSUES Taryn Aiken-Hyatt, Utah/Nevada director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, said the state needs to take vital steps to help end suicide within Utah’s LGBT community. “We know that suicide happens because of risk factors, but there are also protective factors that can keep people safe,” Aiken-Hyatt said. “Increased risk happens within our LGBTQ community when we victimize, when we discriminate, and when we reject.” “We protect this community when we affirm, when we accept, and when we love,” she said. “This practice is unethical and it cannot happen any longer.” “This bill we deem as one of the most important suicide prevention pieces of legislation that will take place this session,” she continued. “To our LGBTQ community, we see you, we love you, and you are perfect just as you are. You do not need to change.” The Trevor Project, the country’s largest crisis intervention and suicide prevention service for LGBTQ youth, issued a statement of hope for the bill “We at The Trevor Project are grateful for the tremendous leadership shown by Sen. McCay, Rep. Hall, and the countless local LGBTQ advocates who have worked together to introduce strong protections from conversion therapy for Utah’s youth,” said Sam Brinton, Head of Advocacy and Government Affairs for The Trevor Project. “The introduction of this bill is a great accomplishment, and sends a powerful message that people in every state and political party can find common ground around protecting LGBTQ youth from this dangerous and discredited practice. The Trevor Project hears from Utahns in crisis every day. This legislation will save lives, and The Trevor Project is committed to seeing it pass.” Q
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No hate crime charges in Utah viral video assault
Saying he doesn’t have a usable hate crime law, Salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill filed misdemeanor assault charges in the case of a man striking another after asking if he was gay. Carlo Sammy Alazo, 22, of Tampa, Fla., was charged in 3rd District Court with threatening to use a dangerous weapon during a fight, a class A misdemeanor, and two counts of assault, class B misdemeanors. According to charging documents, Alazo was talking on his phone on Main Street near Exchange Place at about 1:45 a.m. Sunday, Feb. 17. A group near him, including Sal Trejo and friends, overheard parts of the conversation that were “derogatory and vulgar” and mentioned he was “standing by a gay guy.” Trejo has told the media that Alazo appeared very intoxicated and was loudly speaking on the phone, calling those around him “faggots” and the women “fat pigs.” Charging documents say that Alazo mentioned the cut of coat Trejo was wearing, and Trejo interrupted Alazo to correct him. That is when Trejo says Alazo grew even more belligerent, so Trejo pulled out his phone to record what was happening. The viral video shows Alazo saying, “Are you gay though?” To which Trejo says he is. Alazo says “oh, then you’re gay,” and as Trejo answers, Alazo allegedly slaps at Trejo, knocking the phone from his hand. Trejo and his group of friends followed after Alazo and charging documents say Alazo shoved one of the women in the group and pulled out a butterfly knife and pointed it towards Trejo, but dropped it. He picked up the knife and jumped into his car and fled. Once the video was posted, it went viral, and Salt Lake City Police tweeted, asking for the public’s help in identifying the suspect. Facebook commenters included a woman who said Alazo tried to “pick [her] up” who gave his phone number and his name as Carlo.
Police the next day tweeted that the suspect had contacted them and he was “cooperating fully with the investigation.” Police investigated the charges and turned the case over to the District Attorney’s office. Charging documents spell out three charges. The first is Threatening with or Using Dangerous Weapon in a Fight or Quarrel, a Class A misdemeanor, saying Alazo did “draw or exhibit a dangerous weapon in an angry or threatening manner or unlawfully use a dangerous weapon in any fight or quarrel when such an act was not necessary for self defense or defense of another.” The second and third are Assault, a Class B misdemeanor, for an “attempt, with unlawful force or violence, to do bodily injury to another; or commit an act, with unlawful force or violence, that caused bodily injury to another or created a substantial risk of bodily injury to another.” The filed declaration of probable cause is based on the following: “The statement of Salvador Trejo that on or about February 17, 2019, at approximately 341 South Main Street in Salt Lake County, the defendant, later identified as CARLO ALAZO, approached Trejo and Trejo’s friends while making “homophobic comments” and “racial comments” towards them. “Trejo began filming ALAZO with a cell phone. ALAZO then hit Trejo’s arm knocking Trejo’s phone out of his hand while he was still recording ALAZO. ALAZO then pulled out a small “butterfly-type” knife and pointed the knife blade in Trejo’s direction, but the knife slipped out of ALAZO’s hand. “The statement of Kelly Moore that
ALAZO approached her and her group of friends while ALAZO was talking on his cell phone. Moore heard ALAZO make a comment about standing next to a “faggot,” as well as a comment about the pattern of Trejo’s jacket. Trejo attempted to correct ALAZO’s description of Trejo’s coat pattern, which caused ALAZO to become more belligerent. ALAZO started calling Moore, Trejo and the others with them names, including calling Trejo a “faggot.” “Trejo and another one of their friends began recording with their cell phones and ALAZO “slapped the phone out of [Trejo’s] hand using an open palm,” hitting Trejo’s arm in the process. ALAZO then pushed Moore, and then pulled out a knife which he dropped. “The statement of Sara Runnel that ALAZO approached her and her group of friends while ALAZO was talking on his cell phone. Runnel heard ALAZO make a comment about “standing by a gay guy.” Trejo reacted to the comment and ALAZO became more belligerent. ALAZO started calling Trejo and another male in their group “faggots” and ALAZO made derogatory and vulgar comments towards Runnel and Moore. At that point, ALAZO asked Trejoif he was gay and then hit Trejo. According to Runnel, it appeared that ALAZO was trying to hit Trejo but only hit Trejo’s cell phone. ALAZO then shoved Moore.” Butterfly knives are illegal in many countries and states. They are, however, legal in Utah unless carried by someone with certain convictions. They are legal in Florida. Utah’s hate crime law has never been successfully enforced since its passage. A hate crime bill is currently moving though the legislative session, which ends March 14. Q
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as we bring our annual Utah Pride Guide issue and 2019-20 QPages Directory Friday, May 24. Watch our Facebook page, Twitter, Instagram and qsaltlake.com
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Trans-related bills pulled from being heard at the Utah Legislature Two bills dealing with issues of birth certificate gender maker changes have been pulled from the Utah Legislative Session and will be discussed in an interim session. A bill by rabidly anti-LGBT Utah Rep. Merrill Nelson, R-Grantsville, that would forbid the changing of a birth certificate to represent a gender different from that registered at birth was to be heard by a House committee, but was pulled from the agenda the morning of the meeting. Representatives from Equality Utah, TEA of Utah, and Transgender Inclusion Project had been meeting with the bill sponsor, who agreed to pull it from today’s meeting, according to Sophia Jean Hawes-Tingey. The updated agenda on the state website reflects the bill being pulled. HB153 – Utah Vital Statistics Act Amendments will be heard by the House Health and Human Services Committee Thursday, Feb. 14, at 3:40 p.m. in Room 210 of the Utah Senate Building. The bill rigidly defines the terms male and female and greatly restricts the ability to change birth certificates once they are sent by doctors to the state. “H.B. 153 is based on the scientific and medical fact that an individual’s sex is determined at conception by chromosomal make-up and is not subject to change or self-determination later in life,” Nelson wrote in a statement. According to The Salt Lake Tribune, Equality Utah’s executive director Troy Williams called it “an egregious attack on the transgender community.” The ACLU of Utah labeled it “unconstitutional.” Former state Sen. Steve Urquhart, who pushed gay-rights legislation during his tenure, asked: “Why do they feel the need to do this?” Misty Snow, a transgender woman who made history in winning a U.S. Senate nomination, said it’s “a bad bill” built on discrimination. “By defining ‘male’ and ‘female’ as requiring specific genitalia and declaring it immutable for the purposes of a birth certificate, Rep. Nelson is attempting to erase the ability of transgender individuals to change their birth certificate to
match their true gender,” Transgender Education Advocates of Utah Chair Sue
Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
Robbins said. “The damage this bill can do to the Utah community is immeasurable.” The fiscal note is set at $0, which obviously doesn’t take any potential lawsuits into consideration.
Colorado House passes 2 pro-equality bills On Feb. 19, the Colorado House of Representatives passed HB1129, legislation to protect LGBTQ youth from the dangerous and discredited practice of so-called “conversion therapy.” And last Friday, the Colorado House passed HB1039, legislation that would allow transgender Coloradans to update the gender marker on their birth certificate without restrictive and unnecessary surgical requirements. Both bills now head to the Colorado Senate for consideration. “We thank the representatives who voted to advance these measures and affirm the equal dignity of all Coloradans — including LGBTQ people,” said HRC National Field Director Marty Rouse. “No young person should ever be subjected to a practice that amounts to child abuse, and it’s critically important that transgender people have the ability to ensure their legal documents match their identity. As we work with local advocates to build a Colorado that is more inclusive and welcoming to all, we urge the Colorado Senate to swiftly pass both of these pro-equality bills.” HB1039 is an important step in the fight to affirm transgender Coloradans, who may be unnecessarily exposed to discrimination, harassment, and violence when presenting basic forms of identifi-
cation. Rep. Brianna Titone (D-Arvada), Colorado’s first openly transgender lawmaker, testified in support of the bill. If HB1129 is enacted, Colorado would become the 16th state to adopt laws protecting youth from so-called “conversion therapy,” following Connecticut, California, Delaware, Nevada, New Jersey, Oregon, Illinois, Vermont, New York, New Mexico, Rhode Island, Washington, Maryland, Hawaii, New Hampshire and the District of Columbia. A growing number of municipalities have also enacted similar protections, including cities and counties in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Washington, Florida, New York, Arizona, and Wisconsin. There is no credible evidence that conversion therapy can change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity or expression. To the contrary, research has clearly shown that these practices pose devastating health risks for LGBTQ young people such as depression, decreased self-esteem, substance abuse, homelessness, and even suicidal behavior. The harmful practice is condemned by every major medical and mental health organization, including the American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, and American Medical Association.
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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY
Qmmunity Salt Lake Stallions to host ‘Pride Night’ The Salt Lake Stallions are a professional American football team based in Salt Lake City and are charter members of the Alliance of American Football. Set to be coached by Dennis Erickson, 2019 marks the inaugural season. On this special Pride night, Saturday March 30, they will be playing the San Diego Fleet. Grrrr... Use “STALLIONPRIDE” as your code for discounted tickets and a portion of each ticket will go directly back to supporting the LGBTQ community, this is a win-win! And with the Stallions on the field, that’ll be another win! Tickets at http://bit. ly/stallionpride Q
High times to be had at the Bear Summit The Utah Bears group’s Bear Summit is a weekend-long event, March 1–3, 2019, hosted in part by Club Try-Angles that includes skiing, parties, swag, a bear/ cub contest, and more to be announced in the coming weeks. Attendees are required to register and the cost is $35 (not including the ski day). Below is a current list of the summit events. FRIDAY, MARCH 1
5–8pm — Bear Summit Vendor Fair (Registration Pickup) at Club Try-Angles
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Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
9:30pm — Meet & Greet at Club Try-Angles SATURDAY, MARCH 2
Ski with Jack — Park City Mountain Resort (Not included in registration). Skiing schedule: Departing the host hotel, the Hotel Hampton Inn & Suites, 1345 S. Foothill Dr., at 8:15 a.m. Or meet at Park City Mountain Village at 9 a.m. 1pm — (For those not skiing) Mountain West Cider Tour / Tasting included (21+) 7pm — Aprés Aprés Ski meal at Club Try-Angles 8pm — Bear/Cub Contest at Club Try-Angles SUNDAY, MARCH 3
11am Brunch @ Fiddlers Elbow (Not included in registration 21+ only) 2–4pm — Bowling — Olympus Hills Bowling Lanes (Not included in registration) Evening — Farewell Party — Club Try-Angles
SAGE Utah Relaunches SAGE Utah is a program started in 1997 through the Utah Pride Center and is also an affiliate of the national SAGE organization. Its purpose is to build a strong LGBTQ+ community, advocate for safe and affirming care for LGBTQ+ aged 50 and older, and impact societal outlook on aging in a positive way. When financial burdens hobbled the program in 2013, eliminating the position of a director, it looked as SAGE might topple. Yet, other SAGE leaders demonstrated powerful advocacy to ensure that their program activities continued with the community leadership that had been fostered. Then in 2014, a “memorandum of understanding” was reached between the SAGE Advisory Board and the UPC board, allowing the program to move forward. Over the last few years, the progress of SAGE’s focus on the needs and quality of life of aging LGBTQ+ adults has gradually improved. And now, SAGE and UPC are geared up for a SAGE
Prides across the state A newly formed coalition of Pride organizations in Utah met last weekend and the Utah Pride Center and announced the dates for this year’s festivals. Save the dates! May 31–June 2: UTAH PRIDE — Salt Lake City, Utah Aug. 3: OGDEN PRIDE – Ogden, Utah Sept. 14: LOGAN PRIDE — Logan, Utah Sept. 14: PROVO PRIDE — Provo, Utah Sept. 16–22: PRIDE OF SOUTHERN UTAH — St. George, Utah Sept. 28: MOAB PRIDE, Moab, Utah Re-Launched event, coming March 2 from 6–10 p.m., at the Center, 1380 S. Main St. The group will give information on the “re-launch” of its new and improved senior programs, as well as have guest speakers, entertainment, cocktails, and more..
Third Friday Bingo rescues great danes The March charity for Third Friday Bingo is the Salt Lake Men’s Choir. This is one of the largest bingo nights of the year. Friday, Mar. 15, First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East. Admission: $6 for one card or two for $10. Party Foul Insurance $5. Flamingo Hat of Shame $5. for a contribution of $50 they will give the person of your choosing a drag makeover.
Final Big Gay Fun Bus of the 2018–19 season April 6 The last bus of the season pulls out of the Club Try-Angles parking lot exactly at noon on April 6. Featuring Matrons of Mayhem and a rowdy busload of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and friendly straight gamblers looking for a great time, The Big Gay Fun Bus is a must-do event. Take a shot every time some-
one says “I can’t believe she just said that!” and you’ll be ready to hit the slots in West Wendover. We’ll throw seven bucks in free play at you, some lucky bucks and a complimentary drink ticket when you get there to get you started. You can head on over first to the incredible brunch buffet at the Montego Bay or Rainbow casinos, or wait until the prime rib dinner buffet – it’s all included with your ticket. This charity fundraiser has become a favorite fun event for gay and straight riders alike. Find out what all the talk is about. Tickets at biggayfunbus.com/ tickets.
Utah Stonewall Historical Society Connell O’Donovan, a gay activist and historian, will share his involvement with having the University of Utah adopt the first LGBTQ anti-discrimination policy in Utah and the formation of Queer Nation Utah in 1991. Come for an informative and fun evening. Wednesday, March 6 from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at the Utah Price Center, 1380 S Main St.
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Wyoming state senator denies comparing homosexuality to bestiality, pedophilia
Wyoming state Sen. Lynn Hutchings, R-Cheyenne, denied comparing homosexuality to bestiality or pedophilia during a meeting with LGBTQ youth in February. Hutchings has faced calls to resign after LGBTQ civil rights group Wyoming Equality made a complaint against her, The Casper Star Tribune reported. She denied the allegations and said that her attempts to open a dialogue had not gone as intended. “It is unfortunate, but I now recognize that my attempts at meaningful dialogue on this specific issue did not come across as I intended,” Hutchings said in a statement. “I believe I treated these students kindly. I want to make it clear that my conversation was not intended to demean these students. I at no time compared homosexuality with bestiality or pedophilia. That never happened.” The complaint stems from a Feb. 1 meeting between Hutchings and students from Cheyenne Central High School’s Gay-Straight Alliance as part of Wyoming Equality’s biannual GSA Civics Day. Students from across the state spent the day at MillcreekGardens2018.pdf 1 2/12/2018 PM the Wyoming Supreme Court2:26:01 and Wyoming Legislature to learn about state government. A group of students met with Hutch-
ings, their district representative, and brought up the proposed Wyoming House Bill 230. The bill would have given workplace protections to members of the LGBTQ community but failed to be voted on in time in the state’s legislature. Wyoming Equality quoted the state senator as having questioned in the meeting whether sex with dogs or children would be protected sexual orientations. “If my sexual orientation was to have sex with all of the men in there and I had sex with all of the women in there and then they brought their children and I had sex with all of them and then brought their dogs in and I had sex with them, should I be protected for my sexual orientation?” Wyoming Equality quoted Hutchings as saying. Wyoming Equality said the students then “sought to clarify the bill’s intent only to be rebuffed by Hutchings’ repeated interruptions.” “It was really upsetting to think that she legitimately equates who I am to people who are pedophiles or commit bestiality,” an unnamed 15-year-old student told the news site WyoFile. Hutchings maintained her version of events and said the incident was “a fabricated and one-sided story.” Hutchings, who is black, said in a statement that she has been attacked by “those same individuals demanding an apology, respect and tolerance,” including “racial
slurs, character assassination, profanity and threats.” “I will always guard a person’s ability to freely make choices regarding their lives,” the Hutchings statement said. “I respect the rights of everyone to make choices freely. However, with this freedom comes the responsibility to tolerate those with different views and opinions. That is especially true in the legislature, which must be a place where we come together to debate real-life ideas, some we agree with, some we do not,” the statement said. “For all of us, including myself, this situation provides a learning opportunity for us to find better ways discuss to these issues in a respectful manner, while also extending grace to one another when we say things inartfully. The Wyoming Democratic Party called for Hutchings to resign, condemning her remarks as “indefensible, insensitive and repugnant.” The Star-Tribune noted that Hutchings has made controversial comments about the LGBTQ community in the past. During a debate on domestic partnership legislation in 2013, she said being gay was harmful to the mind, spirit, and body and cited the number of AIDS cases. Hutchings also argued that discrimination faced by the LGBTQ community could not be compared to the discrimination faced by African-Americans. “Science does not evidence a genetic involvement to homosexuality. It is but a choice,” she said in 2013. “Being black is involuntary, it is not a choice. Homosexuals may choose who they want to be.” Q
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Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
BYU’S FOOTBALL MASCOT, COSMO THE COUGAR, UNMASKED ‘If they knew who I really was, would they hate me?’
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BY MICHAEL AARON
In a guest
opinion piece for the Deseret News, a former Brigham Young University Cosmo the Cougar football mascot did something no Cosmo has done before: reveal himself both by name and by coming out. Titled, “Everyone loved me as Cosmo the Cougar, but would they love who I was behind the mask?” Charlie Bird tells the world that while he was dressed as Cosmo, he “kept the best part of my life a secret from everyone around me by wearing a mask.” Bird was Cosmo the Cougar from 2015 through 2018. During his reign, NBC Sports named 2017–18 the “Year of the Mascot,” in honor of his viral influence. Headlines like “BYU is having a terrible season, but at least its mascot can dance” from Yahoo Sports were common. Bird, as Cosmo, is shown in many viral videos, from Star Wars-themed routines to snowboarding to dancing all over campus and Provo. He performed with the BYU Dunk Team, slamming balls through the hoop as he was dropped from a 3-tier human pyramid. Inside Edition did a story that has 1.4 million views on YouTube called “Everyone Is Going Crazy Over This College Mascot’s Dance Moves,” where the host tells the rest of the BYU cheerleaders that they are awesome, “but Cosmo is stealing the show.” He also did a dance-off with the Oregon Duck on ESPN’s College Football Awards. But, with all that exposure, Bird had a huge fear. “As scary as it seemed to dance in front of 60,000 people, an even scarier thought often crept into my mind — ‘If they knew who I really was, would they hate me?’,” he wrote. “I wore another mask while I was at BYU — a mask to cover the shame I felt for being ‘different.’ For years I pleaded with God to change my sexual orientation, but after returning to BYU from a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I began realizing that being gay is an integral part of who I am,” he continued. “As I grappled to develop a better understanding of myself, I felt immense pressure to hide my sexual orientation. I was hyper-aware of what some of my peers said about the gay community, how they viewed samesex attraction and the often unkind and
“I wore another mask while I was at BYU — a mask to cover the shame I felt for being ‘different’” insensitive words they used to describe LGBTQ people — people like me.” He said, while he was regarded as a superstar as Cosmo, it “often simultaneously made me feel broken, unloved and defective.” During his senior year, he was proudly representing the school while it was ranked the second-most LGBTQ-Unfriendly College by the Princeton Review. Another study released by LGBTQ media group, GLAAD, showed an increase in intolerance toward our community for the first time in four years. “We must recognize that members of the LGBTQ community are present and participating in both academic and religious discussions. We must learn that showing empathy and support is not a compromise of moral values.” Bird wrote. Referencing a Book of Mormon scripture, he also wrote, “We must ‘comfort those that stand in need of comfort.’” Now graduated, Bird is reconciling his sexual orientation with his faith. “As I integrate my sexual orientation with my church activity and faith in Jesus Christ, my future sometimes seems bleak and overwhelming,” he wrote. “The family and friends who have shown me Christlike love and support, however, give me hope. I am grateful to everyone who used inclusive language or expressed
empathy toward the LGBTQ community. They may not have known it, but in small ways they helped me feel a sense of belonging that I desperately needed. The LGBTQ community needs such visible love and support.” He says that he misses his time as Cosmo “like I’ve never missed anything before.” Taking off both masks, he says, has “freed me from much of the shame and embarrassment that once seemed inseparable from my life. Doing so has allowed me to feel more fully the love of others. Doing so has allowed me to feel more fully the love of God.” “Everyone deserves a life where exuberant, transformative experiences are not blanketed in sadness like mine often were. By actively showing love and acceptance, we can create a space in which people can remove their masks, no longer subject to the isolation and hopelessness that comes with feeling obliged to hide who they really are,” he ended the editorial. A commenter to the story by the name of Wendell from Provo, Utah, said Bird was not alone in his situation. “I, too, was Cosmo, and I am also gay. Of course, it was very different 30 years ago, but I’m sure we have both experienced some of the very same things,” he wrote. “Representing BYU was one of the highlights of my life, and obviously dealing with my sexuality was a struggle for me for a long time. However, the decisions I’ve made have helped me become the man I am today. Life truly is wonderful for me, and I feel incredibly blessed for friends and family who accept and love me regardless of how I live or who I love.” Q
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views
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quotes “The most important thing is love. It doesn’t matter in the slightest whether that love is for someone of your own sex or not… It must be understood that love comes first.” —Stephen Fry
“I would say to any young person… who’s being bullied for their sexuality: don’t put up with it — speak to a trusted adult, a friend, a teacher, Childline, Diana Award or some other service and get the help you need. You should be proud of the person you are and you have nothing to be ashamed of.” —Prince William
“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” —Bruce Lee
“I’m making it all right here, but I miss you, your arms & nakedness & holding each other — life seems emptier without you, the soul warmth isn’t around…” —Allen Ginsberg to Peter Orlovsky
“Whenever I am weary and sick with longing for you I can always go back and recapture that afternoon out at Bedford Hills this spring, when your kisses were rained down on my face, and that memory ends always in peace, beloved.” —Margaret Mead to Ruth Benedict
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Issue 295 | Qsaltlake.com
who’s your daddy
There’s No Place Like Home BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS
I remember
the day we left Utah: Saturday, August 7, 1988. Kelly drove the U-Haul, while I followed in my car. When I saw the sign welcoming me to Nevada, I let out a shout of joy. I had done it! I had gotten out of Utah. There wasn’t anything I liked about Utah except for my family and friends. I hated the weather. I hated the politics. And I really hated the institutionalized homophobia. So you can imagine that having to admit Salt Lake City was the best place to raise my kids was a pretty bitter pill to swallow. My friend Christina probably summed it up best: “Salt Lake City? Jeez, you must really love your kids.” I’m not ashamed to tell you that returning felt like failure. We had created a nice life in California. But circumstances beyond my control forced a change in plans, so I swallowed my pride and I returned to the land of my childhood. But over the past 18 months, I’ve come to realize that it’s not exactly the same place I fled. Sure, Salt Lake lacks the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles and the sophistication of San Francisco, the last two places we called home. But it definitely grew up in the 20 years we were gone. And that maturity has made it an immeasurably better place to live. Nevertheless, one of my biggest concerns about moving back was how the boys would be treated. OK, let’s be honest. I worried about how they’d be treated by their LDS neighbors, teachers and classmates. I feared that Gus and Niko would have similar experiences to those I had growing up — only they would face even greater discrimination because they have two dads. Over and over again I played out the hypothetical scene. Gus would meet a kid in school; they’d become fast friends and he’d invite this new buddy over to our
house to play. Everything would be set, but when the door opened, Gus would be standing there alone and dejected. This make-believe kid’s parents would refuse to let their son visit a two-dad house and didn’t want him to be friends with Gus. My fears seem ridiculous, don’t they? But they were based on what I saw as a child. The parents of kids I counted as friends told their children to dump me because my family wasn’t LDS. You also have to remember, we arrived back in Utah just prior to the 2008 election. The LDS Church’s very active participation in Prop 8 and the events that followed its passage were helping to fuel my fears. So when Gus became inseparable from a new friend he’d made at school, I started to obsess about a possible play date. The boy’s family is very devoutly LDS. In the group of playground moms with whom I became friends, his mother was the only one I hadn’t specifically told about my sexual orientation. Even as we planned a much-anticipated first play date, I still didn’t tell her. When she came to our place to pick Gus up, I introduced her to Kelly. Her reaction was pretty pedestrian, but I was convinced we’d never see that boy outside of class again. The very opposite proved to be true. Our boys remained best friends throughout kindergarten and spent a lot of time together at each other’s houses. And even though they go to different schools this year, we still try to get the boys together every now and then. As a matter of fact, the boy I was convinced I’d never see in my house again was here not too long ago. He and his little brother joined us for dinner and a “boys’ movie night” while their parents got some time alone with their newborn baby. But for me it got even better. This family, about whom I made such erroneous unfounded judgments, invited our family to the blessing of their new son.
Of course we attended. For the first time in my life I sat in an LDS ward house for a service that wasn’t a funeral. And while I admit I was a little uncomfortable, I was also very proud to be there and very proud to be there supporting the family. As the baby’s father said a prayer over him surrounded by the other men in his family, I sent my own message. “You will grow up in a family that chooses its friends by who they are, not what they are.” Through two boys’ friendship, fostered by traditional and non-traditional parents, I learned that some fears are best left in the past and that change can be found in the people from whom you least expect it.
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creep of the week
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Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
Randy Garber BY DANNE WITKOWSKI
Oh hey,
did you hear that in Kansas, lawmakers are trying to establish the LGBTQ community as a religion? Or, more specifically, they’re trying to argue that LGBTQ people are actually secular humanists so that Kansas doesn’t have to recognize marriage equality anymore; also that gay people aren’t black, I think. The legislation includes the claims that “there are no exblacks but there are thousands of ex-gays” and “skin tone is genetic and sexual orientation is faith-based.” The bill also proclaims that all marriages of same-sex couples are “parody marriages,” that sexual orientation is “a mythology,” that “a person can come out of an invisible closet and be baptized gay,” that LGBTQ people have “a daily code by which members may guide their daily lives” and that they worship the rainbow flag. It’s truly some of the most bizarre legislation I have ever read. It would almost be funny if, you know, LGBTQ people weren’t actual humans. Clearly, Kansas Rep. Randy Garber, the legislation’s lead sponsor, doesn’t think LGBTQ people are human at all. But don’t worry, he loves you. “I don’t believe myself to be a bigot,” Garber told The Wichita Eagle. “I’m Christian and I love people. I believe you should love everybody, but I believe you should also take a stand on what you believe, lovingly.”
Ah, yes. The bill is so very loving. I especially feel loved by the part that claims marriage equality is “the greatest sham since the inception of American jurisprudence.” Oh, and the part where LGBTQ people are lumped into the same category as beastiality is also nice. Why does Garber oppose marriage equality so adamantly? “Their marriage probably doesn’t affect me – their union or whatever you want to call it. But in my opinion, they’re trying to force their beliefs on society,” Garber said. Says the man who has put his name on a bill that essentially forces all LGBTQ people to be part of a specific religion. But nice of him to point out that two women or two men marrying has nothing to do with him and thus that there is no reason to try to enshrine this anti-LGBTQ lunacy into law. What’s interesting is that Kansas has Laura Kelly, a Democrat, as governor right now and also has Rep. Susan Ruiz, the first openly lesbian politician elected in the state. The previous governor, Sam Brownback, was a Republican who really hated gays and also tried to grind the state into dust through austerity economics. So, it seems likely that this unhinged bill is in direct response to some more progressive winds a-blowin’ across the Kansas plains. “I am very disappointed,”
Rep. Ruiz told The Wichita Eagle. “I see who the co-sponsors are and I sit with a couple of them in committee and I’m certainly going to talk to them about that and say, ‘Hey, I don’t know if you know about it or not, but I’m not a myth … Am I a unicorn?’” As she should. I would very much like to see how those conversations go. I strongly suspect that she’s NOT a unicorn, nor are other LGBTQ Kansans. Equality Kansas Director Tom Witt called the legislation the “most vile, hateful and disrespectful” he’s ever seen. “Every year, we see bills that restrict, remove and limit the rights of LGBT Kansans, but never have we seen this level of extremist vitriol laid out in legislative language. These bills combined are 18 pages of insults and name-calling,” Witt told The Wichita Eagle. Witt also said, “Fred Phelps would be proud.” Phelps, of course, was the leader of the Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church. He and his followers picketed funerals of gay men with signs that read “God hates fags,” among other similar acts. The church continues the cherished Phelps family tradition of protesting the “fag lifestyle of soul-damning, nation-destroying filth.” I’m old enough to remember when anti-LGBT Chris-
tians cared to differentiate themselves from the Westboro folks. Sure, they wanted to amend the Constitution to hurt LGBTQ people, but out of love, not out of hate. They’d never picket a funeral, for goodness sake. Though they would deny survivor benefits to the long-term partner of the deceased. They would never celebrate the death of an American soldier as just punishment for a “Fag Nation.” But they also wouldn’t want gays in their military. They would never put a GIF of Matthew Shepard surrounded by flames on their websites, though they’d always wonder — sometimes quietly, sometimes not — if Shepard didn’t bring it all upon himself. In actuality, the only difference between Westboro and non-Westboro anti-LGBTQ folks was that the latter used nicer language. Garber’s legislation helps expose that distinction as meaningless. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @ MamaDWitkowski.
FEBRUARY 28, 2019 |
sex and salt lake city
Turning shame into claim BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK
At 33,
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I found myself freshly divorced and facing a world that was different than I had perceived it to be. Being raised in an ultra-conservative climate, I wasn’t confident how to navigate what sexuality looked like for me. I was determined to prove myself free of feeling any judgments or shame from others about how they perceived my sexual expression. It wasn’t until seven years later, at my 40th birthday, that I felt ownership of my sexuality. I was attending a surprise birthday party thrown for me. I had a little glittery crown on my head that had the number 40 on it and a glass of champagne in hand. During the festivities, a friend took me aside and stated that she and some others were concerned as they had heard rumors about how I had been conducting myself sexually. I knew what ‘concern’ meant. It meant I was the subject of gossip. Being gossiped about was never good. Apparently, word had got out in our small community that I was quite ‘easy.’ I listened to her speak and frantically thought of how to defuse what she was saying. I wanted to get back to my party and maintain any little dignity I had left. I scanned the room. How many others were thinking so horribly of me? I had been raised to be a good example and to have people think negatively of me was torturous. Here I was being faced with some of my biggest fears — judgment and shame from others. Why? Because I
chose to be a sexual person. After a few minutes (which felt like an hour) of trying to block out her voice with my panicked thoughts, I reached up to adjust my little glittery crown. My crown that said “40.” I was 40 years old. It was in that moment that an overwhelming sense of calm came over me. With complete resignation, I politely cut her off and said: “I understand you’re concerned, but I am 40. Last I checked that was old enough not to need anyone else’s approval on how I conduct my life.” Where the words and strength came from, I don’t know, but there they were just the same. For her part, she said nothing. She didn’t need to. I knew I had done right by me. I felt empowered and genuinely was saddened for my friend who trapped in the world of shame. A world that just moments before held me captive. In that moment shame was lost on me. How did shame lose its power? I turned shame into a source to claim. I owned it. Many times when I counsel people who are freshly coming out to their sexual self, they struggle with what they think they “should” or “should not” be doing. It can be especially confusing for someone coming out after years of sexual repression whether it be from religion, family dynamics, or social construct. There is a belief that they have been missing out and now have so much for to make up. In doing
so, people will think: “I must become positive about all things sexual,” whether those things are of interest to me or not. In reality, our sexuality is personal. Our exploration is for growth and gain of who we are at the core of ourselves. Our sexuality is for pleasure, connection, health and well being. Being free of shame is a state of mind. It is honoring and accepting that your human sexuality is diverse, fluid, and subjective. Freedom from shame invites us to acknowledge that there is no hierarchy in sexual interests, sexual orientation, gender identity, or relational configuration. It is not just a term or social wave, but rather a personal movement to provide yourself with the permission to express freely and proudly. Being
free of shame allows one to discover just what is the best sex of all. What is the very best sex of all you ask? It is whatever consensual activities you and your partner(s) agree to participate in, be it alone or with one another. It’s celebrating the sexual uniqueness that makes you, you. Being shame-free is to care for yourself and others by only consenting to activities and interactions that genuinely make you each feel good both physically and psychologically. If all involved feel right about the activity and who you’re interacting with, shame cannot hold you captive any longer. Indeed, all this is easier said than done, but if there’s one thing my clients have shown me is that permitting ourselves to be authentic is truly the most beautiful place to be. Q
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Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
lambda lore
The Winter of Love BY BEN WILLIAMS
Richard
Nixon became President of the United States in January 1969 and the Vietnam War was in its fifth year. As the year began, there were no gay and lesbian support groups in Utah — or anywhere else for that matter, except for a handful of national homophile organizations. There were no social outlets for homosexuals to speak of outside of the women’s softball leagues, which were primarily meeting place for lesbians. Only two bars served the closeted homosexual community in Salt Lake City at that time: the Radio City Lounge for men and the Broadway Lounge for women. In Ogden there was also a bar called the Court. And while not officially a gay bathhouse, the Wasatch Springs Public Bath House and Plunge on Beck Street serviced a fairly large closeted homosexual clientele. Outside of the bars there were no public places for gay men to meet. City parks, theaters and public buildings were largely cruising areas rather then gathering places. The places that saw the most activity were Pioneer Park, Liberty Park, Memory Grove, the Greyhound Bus Terminal, the State Theater, the Deseret Gym, and the Salt Lake City Library. The “skid row” section of 2nd South along 3rd West to 5th West, South Beach of Great Salt Lake and the Esquire Adult Theater were also popular cruising places. As for gay publications, the only “gay” magazine accessible in Utah was the Los Angeles Advocate which in January had changed its name to simply the Advocate. If you were lucky and well-connected, you might be invited to a private party at someone’s home or apartment. Coats and ties were the appropriate attire for these swishy cocktail soirees . In February 1969, then-BYU President Ernest L. Wilkinson, concerned about the growing homosexual conduct of his students, instructed all campus bishops and stake presidents to report to university
authorities any student who confessed “unacceptable conduct.” This was a way, he said, of “eliminating students who do not fit into the culture of BYU so those who would fit into it might be admitted to the institution.” With Wilkinson’s decree Brigham Young University, in effect, ended the confidentiality of its student’s confessions to LDS leaders. At the same time the university’s board of trustees — so the church’s General Authorities — ruled that homosexual students would not be admitted or retained at BYU without church leaders’ approval or consent. In March 1969 the Salt Lake Police raided a private residence on Lake Street in Salt Lake City during which they seized pictures, books and movies which they considered pornographic. They confiscated thirty-five reels of motion picture film, many photographs and paperback books they found in a bedroom closet and also arrested the owner. The man was then fined $100, with a suspended 20 day jail sentence, by city Judge Melvin H. Morris. However, not all Utah gays had their First Amendment rights violated that month. January 1969 also had the first student poem in Utah with a subtle lesbian theme published at Utah State University in Logan. It was entitled “Modigliani’s Gypsy.” I wasn’t a resident of Utah 40 years ago, so I was blissfully unaware of all these shenanigans. In 1969 I was a senior in high school in sunny Southern California. At that time, my main worry was registering for the draft in April when I turned 18. In March 1969 I remember sitting at my open desk while my senior English teacher, Mrs. Appy, droned on about iambic and trochaic poetry meters. She kept tapping the blackboard with a wooden pointer, trying to teach us the rhythm of the verse. I sat as wooden as her pointer, watching the clock as it ticked along in its own cadence. I was bored. I slouched in my seat and looked up at the high slit windows.
I noticed then that a sunbeam had burst into the room. I was fascinated with how its brilliance illuminated the dust fairies swirling around within it, they blissfully unaware of the conformity that Mrs. Appy was dutifully trying to rap-a-tap into us, her dullards. I let my eyes follow the beam down, down, down — until it rested on a single boy. The golden glow highlighted his face, which unlike mine was looking at Mrs. Appy attentively. To say I was entranced would hardly describe the feeling that welled up in me; my heart felt like it was exploding. The most beautiful god-like creature I had even seen was sitting in my classroom, resting his chin on his erect fist. I know not how long I was frozen there staring at the chiseled portrait of this boy. But it was long enough for the girl behind me to giggle and for my face to burn hot in embarrassment. No matter. I had seen the most striking Adonis, and all this time he had been in my fifth period English class! I didn’t even know his name. That would change. Today I would be called a stalker. Back then, I was a lovesick puppy sniffing out all the ways and stays of this beautiful boy. I couldn’t even tell you why, because I certainly wasn’t queer … still, there was this something that had no name then, but felt so sublime. In 1969 I had no vocabulary by which to label these feelings I had for this boy! I quickly learned that his name was John Cunningham, a name like no other name; a name above all others, for it was his name. I also knew that I was different from all my friends. I now had a secret that I could never tell anyone else, ever. I was in love with a boy. It was my greatest joy and my deepest shame. I knew that if I had any chance at becoming John Cunningham’s friend, I would have to hide what my soul wanted to shout. I didn’t know much of what was going on in the world in 1969, but I knew that being called queer was the very worse epithet that could be hurled at you. I was in love with a boy named John Cunningham, and I could not tell a single solitary soul. My life was a cliché. It was the best of times. It was the worse of times. It was March 1969 Q.
FEBRUARY 28, 2019 |
Issue 295 | Qsaltlake.com
the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER
“An Indefinite Sentence: A Personal History of Outlawed Love and Sex” BY SIDDHARTH DUBE, C. 2015, 2019, ATRIA BOOKS, $28, 376 PAGES
Coming out was difficult enough. Even if everyone supported you and very little changed, you changed; still, though you had doubts and fears, it was something you had to do. Now read the new book An Indefinite Sentence: A Personal History of Outlawed Love and Sex by Siddharth Dube and imagine what it might’ve been like coming out but knowing that it’s dangerous. When Dube was 10 years old, he saw a dancer who was lovely, curvy, and sultry, and who pulled off her skirt with a flourish at the end, revealing herself as a man. The memory, the surprise, stuck with him — in part, perhaps, because he had known for two years that he “was a girly-boy…” No one much cared about that while he was young and growing up in relative affluence near the formerly-named city of Calcutta, India. He was “a carefree child,” unashamed of his “undefined gender,” but that disappeared: As a preteen, he was enrolled in a private academy and was bullied for being “sissy,” despite a school culture that allowed boys to demand sex from other boys. At that time, and for most of Dube’s youth, there was nothing available in India “to help a young man… deal with his… homosexuality.” He felt “hatred” from his peers and neighbors
and from his own father, who strongly urged Dube to leave India to attend college in America. In the US though, Dube found that “hatred for homosexuality was many magnitudes greater than in India.” And yet seeing gay life in a more permissive country was liberating. Dube patronized a gay bar for the first time; finally found the love he sought; and, discovered his passion for journalism and activism on the subject of AIDS, the people affected by the disease, and the world’s attitude toward it. That began a journey that ultimately took him back to his home country, where he settled in with “one of the greatest loves of my adult life” although, because gay sex was illegal in India, doing so was dangerous. Months after they moved, Dube discovered just how dangerous… Take this as a warning: that little bombshell arrives all too early inside An Indefinite Sentence. By the time it does, you’ll be lulled into a veil of serenity. That is due completely to the prose with which Dube tells his story: it’s soft and formal but with elegant slang and an exceptionally surprising willingness to use profanity in a matter-of-fact way that still feels like a slap. Dube shares his life and his travels by mixing shades of his faith along with tales of platonic love and otherwise with men, female sex workers who bore the most blame on the spread of disease, and the politics of and attitudes toward AIDS around the world. This, too, is told with outraged mindfulness that feels like a burning torch wrapped up in tranquility. Readers searching for something different can end their search with this book. It’s stirring and calming, funny and sad; start An Indefinite Sentence, and you’ll have no difficulty enjoying it. Q
BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25
TAX TIME FEEL SAFE AND CONFIDENT Gay owned and operated. Filing individual, business, estate and trust returns
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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E
FUN WITH FLOWERS
Join Red Butte Garden at the Volunteer Fair Open House to meet other volunteers and our volunteer crew leads and learn more about the many opportunities we offer. Red Butte is looking for Garden Guides (Docents), volunteers for the Summer Camp and Youth Programs, as well as horticulture and event help. SATURDAY — RED BUTTE GARDEN VOLUNTEER FAIR
9
Tony’s Gay Agenda BY TONY HOBDAY
Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, UofU, 11 a.m.-2 p.m.
THEATRE
The students of East Hollywood High in West Valley City, probably the most inclusive school in the state, are doing RENT this weekend only. In 1996, this original rock musical by a little-known composer opened on Broadway and forever changed the landscape of American theatre. Two decades later, the story continues to speak loudly and defiantly to audiences across generations and all over the world. Pygmalion Productions and Julie Jensen present Wait, a summer-sizzling new play in the wintertime. In it, Wendy Burger stands on the edge of a summer that will change her life forever. It’s the summer she moves out of her father’s house (and into a UPS truck). The summer she starts a theatre with the guy she used to date (no one else would have them). The summer she performs her first acting role (Lisa in Hamlet — with a flickering blue light playing the lead, à la Tinkerbell). The summer when she gets tips from the actress, Floating Piñata Head. But most of all it’s the summer when she meets O Vixen My Vixen, who is both beautiful and oh-so-deep. It’s the summer that changes everything in Wendy’s life. Kicking off its 2019 season, The Ziegfeld Theater is thrilled to bring ABBA’s glittering musical, Mamma Mia!, to Northern Utah. If your a clueless homo, here’s the synopsis: The winner takes it all. A young girl’s search for her birth father takes an hilarious turn as it brings three men from her mother’s past back to the Greek Island they last visited 20 years ago. This charming trip-down-the-aisle tale is chock full of explosive dance numbers, ABBA’s best hits and non-stop laughs. An Opening Night Gala on Feb. 22, and Feb. 23 is $5 Student Night. FRIDAY — RENT
1
East Hollywood High School, 2185 S. 3600 West., times vary through Saturday. Tickets $4 or $7 at the door, www.easthollywoodtheatre.com
— WAIT
Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary through March 9. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org
— MAMMA MIA!
Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., Ogden, times vary through March 14. Tickets $17-19, theziegfeldtheater.com
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS
Beehive Broads Burlesque presents Decades: A Burlesque and Vaudeville Journey Through Time where the broads will explore time and space in a colorful and fun journey through dance. Performers including Harpy L’amour, Rogue, Phaedra Phoenix, Meadow Lark, Garnet Floosie, and a guest performer from California, Jynx Merlot will take you from underground speakeasy delights to the extravagance of Victorian splendor and even the far reaches of space! Join the Utah Pride Center and the local LGBT community and allies, for SAGE Re-Launched, an evening of cocktails, hor d’oeuvres and music performed by the Zach Parrish Trio, followed by a program which will include the unveiling of a permanent art installation commemorating recipients of the Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award. The program will also feature a look into the vision of the Center’s senior programming moving forward. Rounding out the evening there will be dancing through the decades with music from the 1930’s through the 1980’s. The “sweatiest woman in show business” stops in Salt Lake City during her Help Me I’m Dying Tour. If you live in a dumpster, Katya has uploaded several web series on her YouTube channel, “welovekatya”, including RuGRETs, RuFLECTIONS, Drag 101, Total RuCall, and Irregardlessly Trish, the last of which is about a Bostonian hairdresser who lives in a dumpster. In a breakthrough ice experience, world-class ice skaters and acrobats claim their new frozen playground with speed and fluidity as they challenge the laws of gravity with never-before-seen acrobatics. A new kind of performance as Cirque du Soleil Crystal meets the ice to defy all expectations. FRIDAY — DECADES: A BURLESQUE AND VAUDEVILLE JOURNEY THROUGH TIME
1 2 7
Club 90, 9065 S. Monroe St., Sandy, 6:30 p.m., 21+ only. Tickets $10-15, beehivebroadsburlesque.ticketleap.com/decades/
SATURDAY — SAGE RE-LAUNCHED
Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main St., 6-10 p.m. Free
THURSDAY — AN EVENING WITH KATYA
The Complex, 536 W 100 South, 7 p.m.. Tickets $40, smithstix.com
— CIRQUE DU SOLIEL CRYSTAL
Maverik Center, 3200 Decker Lake Dr., WVC, times vary through March 10. Tickets $45-125, smithstix.com
FEBRUARY 28, 2019 |
A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27
Issue 295 | Qsaltlake.com
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Dabakis returns to PTC stage in ‘La Cage aux Folles’ BY TONY HOBDAY
Klea Blackhurst, born and raised in Salt Lake City, returns to her roots on PTC’s stage in the role of Jacqueline. A veteran of many PTC productions, her first was The King and Iat age 10, and her last was Chicago, in 2006. Modeled after the Lincoln Center “Encore” series in New York City, patrons have the opportunity to experience undiscovered theatre gems or infrequently produced musicals, appearing scripts-in-hand, with an onstage orchestra and limited costuming, and the same stellar performances they’ve enjoyed on the main stage. PTC Artistic Director Karen Azenberg directs and choreographs. Costume Designer Patrick Holt, who designed 2017’s The Will Rogers Follies, also designs for La Cage aux Folles. Helen Gregory is musical director and Aaron Spivey lighting designer. The production runs Friday and Saturday, March 15 and 16, 7:30 p.m., with a 2 p.m. matinee performance on Saturday. Pioneer Theatre is located at 300 S. 1400 East, UofU campus. Tickets $25-40 in advance, and $5 more when purchased on the day of the show. pioneertheatre.org
University: 258 South 1300 East Cottonwood: 3698 East Ft. Union Blvd.
270 South Rio Grande St. In the Historic Rio Grande Train Station www.riograndecafeslc.com
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Pioneer Theatre Company has announced the cast of their limited-run concert production of La Cage aux Folles, the beloved gender-bending musical comedy and winner of six Tony Awards including Best Musical. La Cage is the only Broadway musical to win the Tony for Best Revival twice, and is the source material for the hit film The Birdcage. The concert-style production runs just three performances, March 15 and 16. The cast features Broadway actors Jamison Stern, previously at PTC in Ragtime in 2003, and James Patterson in the lead roles of Albin and Georges, respectively, and will be joined by other familiar faces. Former State Senator and current mayoral candidate Jim Dabakis returns to the stage in the role of Monsieur Dindon after having appeared as The Narrator in both concert productions of The Rocky Horror Show in 2014 and 2015. “I am thrilled to have been asked to play the part of an overbearing, loud, judgy senator; [Director] Karen [Azenberg] said that shouldn’t be too much of a stretch for me,” said Dabakis.
tr em
e Cuisine
28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E
Qsaltlake.com |
Grand Theatre’s production of ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ dies from threat of lawsuit
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LIBRA Sept 23–October 22
It is a happy time. Things improve, spirits rise. Don’t let others rain on your parade. It might become necessary to put someone in check, so stay calm and do so. An important person will ask for some help regarding an issue that makes you uneasy. Smile, nod, but move them right along.
It is possible to fall and get up, but the pain of doing so should be avoided. There seems to be some confusion over what is really important. Step back from a situation and revisit when the dust has settled. Personal matters suck, but sucking can become amazing if you try hard enough.
LEO July 23–August 22
What makes sense to you baffles someone else. Don’t let this discrepancy become an issue. Agree to disagree. Much can be learned from alternate perspectives. Get behind this person and see life from their point of view. But don’t spend too much time back there. You risk losing yourself.
An abundance of opportunity can open doors but remember to prove your worth. There is always someone to compete with. Balance modesty and pride to look your best. Cheer and satisfaction can come in the form of non-verbal communication, leading to some very pleasing associations.
VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22
Priorities are good to have, don’t allow them to trap you in a method that isn’t working. Adapt and do what the moment requires. A relationship is in trouble. Take time to simply enjoy this person, and make
SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21
SAGITTARIUS
Nov. 22–December 20.
A vital task feels like pushing a hard rock uphill. Break up a burden and tackle it a little bit at a time. Consider whether it is worth the effort. Examine a clear goal and make changes. The heart may break but it is better to get priorities figured out now and not
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9 4 3 1 7 6 2 8 5
5 9 1 7 6 8 2 3 4 8 6 9 5 1 7 6 4 9 3 8 2
them enjoy you too! If fun is not the main focus, there is not much point in continuing.
8 5 1 7 3 2 6 9 4
5 7 2 4 3 8 6 9 1
3 4 2 5 9 1 7 8 6 3 1 5 4 2 9 8 3 1 7 6 5
It could be hard learning skills needed to overcome a problem. Don’t fear asking for help from a buddy. Learn new ways to accomplish goals. A financial situation takes a toll.
1 8 4 5 9 6 3 2 7 9 5 4 1 6 8 3 9 2 5 4 7
GEMINI May 21–June 20
7 3 6 2 8 1 4 5 9 6 8 1 3 7 2 8 4 5 6 9 1
What makes sense to you baffles someone else. Don’t let this discrepancy become an issue. Agree to disagree. Much can be learned from alternate perspectives. Get behind this person and see life from their point of view. But don’t spend too much time back there. You risk losing yourself.
5 2 9 4 7 3 8 6 1 7 2 3 9 5 4 7 1 6 8 3 2
TAURUS Apr 20–May 20
8 2 6 4 7 1 3 5 9
There is never a perfect situation, no matter how amazing a change may seem at the time. Don’t be quick to go back to an old way of doing something. There is always a reason for your actions, even if you don’t understand the choice at the time. It can take time for things to feel right.
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ARIES March 20–April 19
CANCER June 21–July 22
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BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS
6 3 7 1 2 4 9 8 5
MARCH
Spend wisely during this time. Luckily, your wish list is on the light side, so hold off on big purchases until later.
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q scopes
Rudinplay we have had to cancel the show. The Grand Theatre Foundation itself, as I’m sure you are aware, is not in any kind of position to fight such an exhausting legal battle. “Our box office will be reaching out to all those who have purchased tickets to issue refunds. The Grand has always held itself to a high standard of quality and professionalism. We sincerely hope this will not tarnish our relationship with any of our patrons, who we value dearly.” The announcement has already ignited many comments of discontent. For instance, one respondent writes: “This is ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. The theater is meant to teach, to unify, to open our eyes to the human condition and help us all learn and grow, discover about ourselves and
our world. Theater that’s taken hostage by people looking to make more and more money is the complete antithesis to what it is about. I have no idea how a production at your fine, but small, theater is in any way interfering with the vastly popular, the remunerative success of the show that is currently running in New York. This is a book for the ages, this is a play that belongs to everyone, that should be enjoyed and digested by everyone, not just those who can afford to go to NYC and see that production…” Q 5 8 1 9 6 7 4 2 3
In a Facebook post, The Grand Theatre’s Artistic/Executive Director, Seth Miller announced their production of the iconic Pulitzer Prize-winning Harper Lee novel To Kill a Mockingbird has been canceled “due to circumstances beyond our control.” The show was scheduled to open March 21, 2019. “Over the past several weeks we have been caught up in a legal dispute between Rudinplay in New York, the estate of Harper Lee, and Dramatic Publishing,” Miller says. “The Grand Theatre licensed the rights for To Kill a Mockingbird from Dramatic Publishing, who owns the rights to the original stage version of Harper Lee’s beloved novel. “Dramatic Publishing’s right to license the original version of the stage adaptation is being contested by Rudinplay who holds the rights to the revised version of the play currently running on Broadway. “Please believe me that we have exhausted every effort to overcome these obstacles and present our production, but under the threat of substantial legal action from
Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
half way up the hill.
CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19
There is never a perfect situation, no matter how amazing a change may seem at the time. Don’t be quick to go back to an old way of doing something. There is always a reason for your actions, even if you don’t understand the choice at the time. It can take time for things to feel right.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18
Romantic feelings could develop with a co-worker or casual friend. Not much has changed, but a little change in the heart can create a big difference. Put faith in feelings and don’t fear exploring a new outlook. Life is about change, even when the routines seem to be the same.
PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19
It could be hard learning skills needed to overcome a problem. Don’t fear asking for help from a buddy. Learn new ways to accomplish goals. A financial situation takes a toll. Spend wisely during this time. Luckily, your wish list is on the light side, so hold off on big purchases until later.Q
FEBRUARY 28, 2019 |
Issue 295 | Qsaltlake.com
TO WEST WENDOVER, NEVADA Featuring the Matrons of Mayhem NEXT BUS:
Saturday April 6
Last bus of the 2018-19 season
Tickets $25 or
BigGayFunBus.com or 801-997-9763 x2
or save the 99¢ credit card fee with cash at Club Try-Angles during normal hours
A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29
30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS
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Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
FEBRUARY 28, 2019 |
PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31
Issue 295 | Qsaltlake.com
Hot at Sundance ACROSS
Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku
Q doku Medium
8 9 6 7
1
3 9
4
9
8
4 7 9
9 8 4 5 6
9 4 2 3
4 9 8
6
9 2 4
2 8
3 1 9 7 6 8
9 1
1
2 3
8 9 3
7 9 1 6
6
3 5 4 1 5
4
1 6 7 4 1 8
6 3 2 4
5
8
2
6 9 8 8 1 3 2
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2 9 8 7
8 6 4 1
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2 4
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3 9 6
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1 Type of balls that you play with 5 Switch positions 9 Hands of a manhandler 14 Skater’s feat 15 Gay Bob, for example 16 Old square 17 Judith Light feature film at Sundance 20 James of _Only When I Laugh_ 21 AK, once 22 Frozen dessert 23 Enjoy a breast or two 25 Jolly Roger fliers 28 Old-time actor Erwin 29 Phantom of the Opera name 32 Unc, to Pop 33 Sophie B. Hawkins’ “The Cream Will ___” 35 ___ awkward position 37 Grace 40 Toni Collette feature film at Sundance 43 Morales of` _Jericho_ 44 Site of valuable stones 45 NASA chimp 47 Gomer’s Sgt. Carter, for one
49 Hairy one in the den 51 Coins w. Abe images 52 Short end of the stick 56 Go nuts 58 Summer for Colette 59 It’s sometimes a drag 62 Lanford Wilson’s _ ___ in Gilead_ 63 Hari Sama feature film at Sundance 68 Paul Monette’s partner Horwitz 69 Quote authoritatively 70 Rowlands of film 71 Actor Milo of _Oz_ 72 Star quality 73 Like a nervous Nellie
DOWN
1 Snatch 2 Apple’s Tim Cook, for one 3 Adjusts, like Mapplethorpe 4 Congregation 5 It may be Sapphic 6 Auto racer A. J. 7 Ice chunk near a polar bear 8 Sucking sound 9 Chess queen, ironically 10 “Where did ___ wrong?” 11 Namely 12 Amount of time for premature ejaculation 13 Satisfies fully 18 Tevye, to Harvey
19 _Charlie’s Angels_ role 23 Outdated atlas abbr. 24 Iroquoian tongue 26 Movie about a gay hotel, with _The_ 27 Bring down 30 Part of ILGA (abbr.) 31 Meat that gets stuck 34 Serengeti sight 36 Michelangelo’s David, e.g. 38 No longer on the air 39 Like Ennis to his wife, in _Brokeback Mountain_ 41 What homophobe Pence is president of? 42 Eager desire 46 Boom source of old 48 They move your dinghy 50 Dressing gown 52 Like bell-bottom jeans 53 Threesome member for Dumas 54 Use a scale 55 What a knight sticks in his enemy 57 Barracks boss 60 Shakespeare’s was “mortal” 61 Katharine’s _Butch Cassidy_ role 64 Get a load of 65 Gershwin of “’s Wonderful” fame 66 _Vice Versa_ publisher Lisa ___ 67 Nureyev’s nyet
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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY
Qmmunity Groups BUSINESS
LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com LGBT & Allied Lawyers of Utah lgbtutahlawyers.com * lgbtutahlawyers@gmail.com Utah Independent Business Coalition utahindependentbusiness.org 801-879-4928 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake ywca.org/ saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600
Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS
VOA Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545 LEGAL
Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL
HEALTH & HIV
Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor
Equality Utah equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats utahstonewalldemocrats.org fb.me/ utahstonewalldems
Qsaltlake.com |
RELIGIOUS
First Baptist Church firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main SOCIAL
1 to 5 Club (bisexual) fb.me/1to5ClubUtah 1to5club@
utahpridecenter.org
Alternative Garden Club bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons. blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats. blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8
First Wednesdays at 7pm at the Utah Pride Center 1380 S Main St Info at bit.ly/UGHS_Lecture Read ‘This Day in Gay Utah History’ at benwilliamsblogger.blogspot.com
Men Who Move menwhomove.org OUTreach Utah Ogden outreachutah.org OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters) bit.ly/owlsutah Queer Friends queerfriends.org qVinum Wine Tasting qvinum.com fb.me /QVinum/ Sage Utah, Seniors fb.me/sageutah sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears utahbears.com fb.me/utahbears info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists umen.org info@umen.org Utah Pride Center utahpridecenter.org info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS
Pride Community Softball League fb.me/utahpride. softballleague pcsl@prideleague.com Q Kickball League fb.me/qsaltlake. kickball Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club quacquac.org questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports of Salt Lake City fb.me/SLCStonewall stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828
Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
Venture Out Utah facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT
Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871 utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Crystal Meth Anon crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146 liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Wed. noon, 2319 Foothill Dr, #120 Weds. 6:30 pm, Univ Neuropsych Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #2705 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/ joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/ sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/ lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org
Women’s Support Group utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/ mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org Youth Support Gro ages 10-14, 14-20 utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/
Youth Survivors of Suicide Attempt utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ youthsosa@ utahpridecenter.org YOUTH/COLLEGE
Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, Gay-Straight Alliance Network gsanetwork.org Kids Like Me (ages 2-10) utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU usgabyu.com fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University LGBT Resource Center weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271 Youth Activity Night ages 10-14, 14-20 utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/
FEBRUARY 28, 2019 |
Issue 295 | Qsaltlake.com
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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | UTAH GAY WEDDINGS
Qsaltlake.com |
Utah Gay Weddings Romance
is in the air this month, along with a lot of snow! And as same-sex marriage is more commonly accepted across the US, Utah’s bank of LGBT-owned and allied businesses and entrepreneurs is exponential. So, if you’ve recently popped the question (hopefully with the intended result), here is a slew of wonderful choices to make your special day completely memorable. Due to space restraints, we highlight only a few of LGBT-friendly businesses offering services for your big day. Many more are at UTAHGAYWEDDINGS.COM.
The Photos DAV.D PHOTOGRAPHY Most photographers learn to take photos and then editing them is somewhat of an afterthought. While editing is important to some photographers, it definitely takes a back seat to the art of taking the photo. For David Daniels, his photography emerges from his extensive background in photo editing and design.
HARDISON PEEK PHOTOGRAPHY
Located in Ogden, Hardison Peek is a full service portrait studio specializing in LGBT weddings, family, children and senior high photography.
The Food LUX CATERING & EVENTS With Lux Catering and Events, you are in the hands of culinary, floral and design experts. Experienced and a true love of weddings, they will help you choose romantic florals, gorgeous linens, and incorporate familiar details with a flawless execution.
MAGLEBY’S UTAH CATERING Magleby’s offers Wedding Reception Sweet & Savory Packages designed by experienced chefs and coordinators to give your buffet a colorful and delicious variety.
The Flowers TWIGS FLOWER COMPANY For decades, Raymond King has been creating outstanding floral arrangements for every occasion imaginable. He started Twigs Flower Company and has
focused on delivering only the highest-quality products to his customers.
Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
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For that last minute need, special request, custom design just that extra-special human touch, The Art Floral just can’t be beat. The Salt Lake City floral company is full-service with same-day deliveries. For weddings, birthdays, special occasions or just to have that extra pizzazz, The Art Floral is a full palette of brilliance.
The well-known local brew pub offers a private event space for wedding receptions, rehearsal dinners and parties of all sizes and sexual orientations.
The Place PIERPONT PLACE Stylish and upscale Pierpont Place can be rented for weddings, corporate events, parties or any other occasion. However, if the customer does not want to hold the event at Pierpont Place, the Premier Corporate Events offers catering, planning and bar services.
RED BUTTE GARDEN Red Butte Garden is a beautiful setting for weddings, receptions, wedding photos, engagement photos, and parties. From casual to elegant and any style in between, we provide the gorgeous
The Hair JESSE DOLCE HAIR DESIGN Visit Dolce Hair before the big day to make it the most fabulous event possible. You’ll find queer-friendly stylists in an urban-chic atmosphere.
FRIAR TUCK’S A pay-it-forward barbershop that offers traditional cuts, straight-razor shaves, beard trims and scalp treatments donates a portion of each service to the VOA Homeless Youth Resource Center.
The Dance LADY MARASUKI Since 2011, Lady Marasuki has been spreading its’ unique sound spanning from jazz, pop, blues to lounge in SLC’s favorite music venues and events.
FEBRUARY 28, 2019 |
Issue 295 | Qsaltlake.com
SPONSORED BY UTAHGAYWEDDINGS.COM
OTTER CREEK DUO Mary and Peter Danzig are a folk duo with 10 instruments and 53 strings between them. They’ve been called “a duo that is both a technical marvel and tastefully perfect”.
SOUNDSWRITE LLC Roger Cox’s business offers DJ and other emcee and hosting services for weddings, events, parties and dances. While music is his passion, being involved with the community is also very important to him.
DJ PAULY For Paul Helms, being a disc jockey is much more than a hobby. The St. Louis native has been honing his craft since 1989 when he began working as a professional deejay. He touts: “We don’t
UTAH GAY WEDDINGS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37
Time to celeeate!
do cookie-cutter receptions. We help create a great experience, not just for the couple, but for everyone there that night.”
The Honeymoon DREAMKATCHERS LAKE POWELL B&B Lake Powell’s only gay owned and operated bed and breakfast offers themed guest rooms starting at $179 per night, private bathrooms, free Wi-Fi, full gourmet breakfasts and 8-person spa.
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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | THE FRIVOLIST
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
the frivolist
For the love of hot pilots, stop doing these 19 things on an airplane BY MIKEY ROX
Human
beings do disgusting, dirt-nasty things while traveling in an airplane. DO NOT BE THESE SLOBS. Here are 19 in-flight no-nos to remember the next time you’re flying the friendly skies.
1.
Removing footwear
This is your captain speaking: The first person to take their stank shoes or socks off on this plane will be ejected at 35,000 feet. Even if you think your feet don’t “stink,” somebody else probably will. But besides that, what kind of adult person thinks it’s appropriate to kick their footwear off in tight quarters among strangers? Somebody didn’t raise you right, number one, and number two, if your feet hurt or your shoes are too restricting, buy more comfortable shoes. Please don’t act a fool at everyone else’s expense.
2.
Using electronic devices without headphones
Here is the total number of scenarios where it’s appropriate to use your electronic devices on a plane without headphones: ZERO. In zero scenarios is this appropriate. Whether you’re watching a movie, browsing cooking demonstrations, letting your children play games, listening to music, or engaging in the other hundreds of things you do that go beep, boop and screech, please do it with headphones on. If you forgot them, ask your flight attendants for a pair; they have them and they’re generally free.
3.
Watching adult movies
Watching porn that other passengers can view is probably illegal. In fact, I’d even suggest that you steer clear of R-rated films — even those with the most innocent nudity — while traveling on a plane. It sounds prudish, yes, but you never know how someone else is going to react to seeing those images these
days, and you don’t want to get caught up in a #MeToo moment because a bare ass flashed across your screen for a split second.
4. Putting your feet between seats
Where do your feet belong on a plane? Repeat after me: On. The. Floor. (with your shoes ON.)
5. Letting your kids run amok
Fair warning to all you moms and dads out there: If you’re letting your out-of-control kids run screaming up and down the aisles of the plane, there’s a good chance they could get drop-kicked. By accident, of course. My general life rule about children is that if the parents don’t discipline them, I should be able to take a stab at it. Literally. It takes a village, right?
your germs 6. Blowing all over the place
Sneeze and cough into the bend of your elbow. Use tissues and discard them properly. You know, like somebody with common sense.
7.
Constant rustling
When you board the plane and find your seat, this is the time to start getting comfy. Get out everything you’ll want for the flight — magazines, devices, snacks, medications (whatever you need to be happy for the next few hours) — and sit your ass down, buckle up and relax. Once you’re in the air, avoid the temptation to move around. Chill, wait for your free soda, choose the movie you want to watch, and stay in your space.
a window seat if 8. Taking you like to get up a lot
If you like to move around or have to use the bathroom frequently, don’t opt for a window seat. You belong in an aisle seat,
and that’s the seat you should choose. If you have the window seat by circumstance, do the passengers in your row a solid and let them know that you will need to get up frequently. If they choose to stay put, it’s not your problem anymore.
9. Reclining the seat
You’re not getting that much of a recline — about 5 degrees in economy — so why not do the courteous thing and stay upright? It’s really not fair to the person behind you who can barely move when you recline, especially considering that there’s only about 30 inches of pitch between seats to begin with. Lean against the window or your tray table for a nap, or buy a neck pillow so you can sleep upright more comfortably.
10. Excessive flatulence
I get it — sometimes a little toottoot sneaks out. But if you’re excessively gassy, go to the bathroom and do some business to help alleviate the issue. Or just hold it in until you explode. That’s better than toxifying the recycled air for hours on end.
11. Carrying on loud conversations If I can hear you more than three rows in front of me, you’re being too loud. The person to whom you’re speaking is literally right next to you. Library voices, please.
your phone 12. Using during takeoff
I was once on a flight with a guy who gave the person on the other end of his call a play-by-play of takeoff until we were too high in the air for the signal to continue. Frankly, I was surprised at how long he was able to keep talking. It was pretty annoying, but it also was a source of anxiety — I’m a nervous flyer — because the airlines have convinced me that if a cell phone is on during takeoff
BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39
Issue 295 | Qsaltlake.com
or landing, it probably means certain death. I survived, but he was still a D-bag.
powerful 13. Wearing scents
Given that everyone on a plane sits extremely close to one another and the air is recycled on airplanes, please save your pungent colognes and perfumes for alone time with the one person who thinks you smell amazing dipped in flowery toilet water.
Trying to 14. board strange ‘support animals’ Don’t hold up the flight for hundreds of other people because you’re trying to pass a two-headed dragon off as a support animal because you don’t want to pay the fee for it to travel separately. Dogs and cats are support animals. Ligers, peacocks, alligators and whatever else you’re dragging through the airport on a leash are not.
15.
Arguing
16.
Bringing odorous food on board
Save your lovers’ quarrel for where it belongs — your honeymoon. Don’t engage in an altercation with other passengers, either. If you’re squabbling about something on an airplane, you shouldn’t be on it.
Cold turkey sandwich, sure. Freshly prepared salmon, no! Honestly, even more innocu-
ous foods like pizza and fried chicken can be offensive to others. Eat your meal before you board and then snack on the plane if you need to.
Standing up to 17. deplane as soon as the seatbelt light goes off WHERE ARE YOU GOOOOING?! There’s no reason to jump out of your seat and start removing bags from overhead storage as soon as the pilot parks the plane. You don’t need to push and elbow other passengers, either. Just sit calmly until it’s your turn, get up, grab your belongings and exit. Manners 101, folks.
18.
Taking up overhead bin space for things that can fit under your seat
Don’t take up space in the overhead bins with backpacks and shopping bags if those items can fit under your seat.
a mess in 19. Making the bathroom
A hundred and 50 people have to use that tiny space. Keep your bodily functions in the toilet and paper towels in the trash. If you’ve made a mess in the bathroom doing you-know-what, try to clean it yourself, otherwise alert a flight attendant discreetly. Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyrox
MORE THAN
FEBRUARY 28, 2019 |
80
EVENTS THIS MONTH
Coming up DOWNTOWN 2.15-16 LERNER & LOEWE'S MY FAIR LADY WITH THE UTAH SYMPHONY @ Abravanel Hall 2.15 SALT LAKE GALLERY STROLL 2.16 90-SECOND NEWBERY FILM FESTIVAL @ SLC Library 2.16 MONET EXCHANGE @ Metro Music Hall 2.17 12 MINUTES MAX @ SLC Library 2.20 JOSHY SOUL & THE COOL @ Gallivan Center 2.21-3.3 PLAN B THEATRE presents AN EVENING WITH TWO AWFUL MEN @ Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center 2.21-3.9 PYGMALION THEATRE COMPANY presents WAIT! @ Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center 3.3 ACTION BRONSON @ The Depot 3.1-3.3 TUMBLEWEEDS FILM FESTIVAL @ SLC Library
THEBLOCKSSLC.COM
40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 295 | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
the perils of petunia pap smear
The tale of stripping studs BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR
The road
to D.I. is fraught with danger and
excitement. One Saturday several years ago, my sister Logan queens and I were sitting around at a coffee klatch having an intellectual discussion (gossiping). Remember: “BE THERE OR BE TALKED ABOUT.” We decided that life was ever too dreary and we needed to go on a shopping extravaganza to brighten our otherwise less than faaaabulous lives. Where else for a bunch of queens to go shopping but the godsend to all drag queens: Deseret Industries. D.I can be Nirvana for a queen who is forced to reconcile her treasure hunting behavior with her bank account. Where else can you find a size 22 pink sequined prom dress for $10? We quickly re-applied fresh lipstick, grabbed our purses and jumped in Queer-Tanic, my 6000 pound 1975 Buick Electra land yacht, for her second voyage, hoping she would succeed better than she did on her maiden voyage when she lost her battery. Our initial plan was to hit every D.I. from Logan to Salt Lake. While our major concern was cargo space, the trunk of Queer-Tanic was large enough to contain a full-fledged orgy (I think that Chi Chi LaRue filmed her last prison porn fantasy in the trunk). So as long as we left the portable glory hole booths behind in the garage there would be plenty of room for all our treasures. We reached our first D.I. and descend-
7pm, Jan. 18, Feb. 15, Mar. 15 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem
ed upon the store like an infestation of Mormon crickets, or shoppers on the opening of doors at Filenes’ basement sale. Some ran to the house wares section trying to find the elusive Art Deco lamp of their dreams while the rest quickly gravitated to the women’s clothing area. Suddenly, bras, muumuus and sequined prom dresses were flying off the racks in a blinding blizzard of chiffon, taffeta and the mainstay of a queen’s D.I. chic couture collection, polyester. The clerks at the store tried their best to act the part of the seagulls attempting to quell the infestation, but our superior cunning and the intensity of our attraction to shiny objects quickly overpowered them. An unwitting passerby could easily have lost a limb. A video of the scene could have without difficulty been substituted on Animal Planet for a shark feeding frenzy. We repeated the same scenario in Brigham City and Ogden. While driving south between stops, I noticed that Queer-Tanic was handling a little odd: she had acquired a strange new vibration and was making a funny noise. As we stopped at the Centerville D.I., I got out and lifted the hood to investigate. I could find nothing obviously wrong. So with denial being more than just a river in Egypt, I turned up the radio so that I couldn’t hear the noise and we proceeded gaily forward to the next DI. As we approached North Salt Lake, My “royal intuition” told me that we should not proceed further on I-15 with no means of escape should there be a breakdown. I steered Queer-Tanic off of the freeway and then stopped in front of the rock quarry on Beck Street. It was a good thing I did. Upon further investigation, all but one of the lug nuts on my front wheel were missing, and the last one was just hanging on by a thread. The wheel was wobbling back and forth more wildly than my limp wrist in a stiff breeze. (I tell inquiring minds that I have had “steel wrist implants” so I can be more butch.) Celebrating my butch-ness, I grabbed the tire iron, cinched up my panties and tightened the remaining nut. Unfortunately, we
were only able to travel two blocks before it loosened again. So Queer-Tanic proceeded ever so slowly just like a parade float, stopping every two blocks to tighten my nuts. Finally we reached the auto department at Sears, and the hunky mechanic (I’m a sucker for a man in uniform, any uniform) told me we were lucky that we didn’t crash and go to that great drag show in the sky. The wheel studs were stripped beyond any hope of repair, and we could proceed no further. I know that lug bolt is the proper term but “stripped studs” just sounds ever so much more festive in a desperate situation like this. I contemplated that I could just glue the nuts on the studs with eyelash glue or nail polish, but the mechanic wisely recommended that we abandon Queer-Tanic for a couple of days while he replaced the “stripped studs.” Our knight in shining gold lamé came in the form of the clerk at Budget Rent-ACar just across the street. He was able to equip us with a replacement chariot in a flash, so we could go back home with our silky purchases. The rental car certainly didn’t have the luxury of Queer-Tanic, but at least all four wheels stayed on. Later I was able to return and retrieve my beloved Queer-Tanic with new “studs” and all four wheels fully functioning. STRIKE TWO for Queer-Tanic. Like always, these events leave us with many eternal questions: 1. If the LDS Church knew how many drag queens D.I. had dressed, would they shut the doors? 2. Might they begin to require temple recommends to shop at D.I.? 3. Can purchases at D.I. be written off as tithing? 4. Where will Chi Chi LaRue get a new location for her next prison fantasy? 5. Did the mechanic try on the dresses in the trunk when we were not looking? 6. Would steel wrist implants hurt? 7. If some hunky studs stripped in front of us, would that tighten our nuts? 8. Would a stud let me glue my nuts on him? 9. Should I begin carrying duct tape and bailing wire in my make-up kit? These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear.
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