QSaltLake Magazine | Issue 356 | February, 2024

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The top national and world news since last issue you should know

BY CRAIG OGAN

LGBTQ+ intent to ”parent,” high

Regardless of demographics or income, millennials claiming LGBTQ+ status say they want to be parents. Family Equality, a group formed to promote LGBTQ+ family formation and parenthood, released a research report that revealed that 77 percent of LGBTQ+ millennials are either already parents or are considering becoming parents in the coming years. This is a 44 percent increase over older LGBTQ+ generations. The drawbacks LGBTQ+ people face are the challenges of surrogacy expenses and IVF, which are sometimes not covered by insurance. Fostering and adoption are more affordable. Family Equality indicated there are still ten states that allow for open discrimination against adoptions by lesbian and gay couples.

Round-up state government action

OHIO ’s governor vetoed a bill that would have regulated both transitioning medical care for minors and transgender girls’ participation in school sports. The veto messaging related only to the transition medical care for minors and did not mention girls’ sports. Transgender activists should hold the champagne, though, as the Ohio House

voted 65-28 to override the veto, prompting chants of “Shame!” from the House gallery and the House livestream to be temporarily cut.

LOUISIANA families with transgender children are suing to overturn the state’s law regulating transitioning medical care for transgender minors. The legislature voted to override the governor’s veto of the law. It strongly regulates pharmaceutical and hormone therapy and surgeries for the purpose of gender transition. Healthcare workers who violate the law are subject to discipline by licensing boards and can be sued. No court action at press time.

VIRGINIA Democrats introduced legislation to amend the state constitution to abolish its ban on same-sex marriage. The 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges ruling made state prohibitions irrelevant, but many states, like Utah, still have language in the constitutions recognizing only opposite-sex marriages. State Sen. Adam Ebbin and Del. Mark Sickles, two of Virginia’s out LGBTQ+ legislators, filed resolutions for the constitutional amendments.

VIRGINA Republicans in the House of Delegates quickly killed a bill asking Virginians to vote on a referendum to remove marriage restriction language from the state’s charter. A 2006 amendment to the Virginia constitution banned same-sex marriage. The bill’s opponents, the Family Foundation, suggested the Supreme Court may overturn the 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision.

TENNESSEE legislators, fearing that looking at a rainbow flag may turn a child gay, have joined the parade led by Florida to ban regularly displaying any flag

except the national and state flags in classrooms or public school campuses. There may be exceptions for other city flags or flags used in a lesson plan. “Agenda, promoting” flags are the target, such as the rainbow and progressive flags, Black Lives Matter flag, Hamas, and the Confederate Battle Flag. The sponsor made the eye-roll causing argument that indoctrination has no place in public schools.

IDAHO ’s law regulating pharmaceutical or surgical therapy for people under 18 was set to go into effect at the beginning of 2024. A federal judge has ruled the law’s restrictions violate the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause under the Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. The judge blocked the law’s enforcement because he opined the plaintiffs had a good chance of winning the case in court. The Idaho attorney general is appealing the ruling, but the law is still blocked as the case proceeds. FLORIDA’s legislature just went into session with prefiled legislation that will affect LGBT people, including bills that would: criminalize “lewd or lascivious grooming,” containing a broad definition of grooming; prohibit government employees from being required to use their colleagues’ requested pronouns; declare nearly all published accusations of anti-LGBTQ bias to be “defamation per se” and impose a $35,000 fine on journalists reporting the accusations; require Floridians to legally certify that their driver license or other state ID reflects the sex listed on their original birth certificate; require any health insurance policy covering transition-related medical expenses also cover “treatment to detransi-

tion” from such procedures; and require school districts or state agencies to identify the “birth-sex” of people when collecting vital statistics in complying with anti-discrimination laws, public health, crime, economic, or other data.

Ugandan loses U.S. funding over anti-gay law

The U.S. has removed Uganda from the list of nations eligible for aid from the African Growth and Opportunity Act in response to the country’s recently passed “Anti-Homosexuality Act.” The law made what it described as “aggravated homosexuality” punishable by death. It also imposed a life sentence for “recruitment, promotion and funding” of same-sex “activities” and banned people from identifying as LGBTQ+. The European Union and other international groups have taken similar action. No word on the status of U.S. aid to oil-rich Middle-Eastern countries with similar laws and the quaint custom of making gay men choose between being tossed from atop buildings or having “gender-affirming” surgery.

Nondiscrimination rule changed

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services rewrote a rule that may allow widespread discrimination against LGBT people in obtaining health care. The 2019 rule was said to protect the religious beliefs of anyone connected to health care, ranging from non-medical employees to medical specialists. Federal funding could be withheld if employees were forced to give any services that contradicted the employees’ ethical system. The rule was primarily a threat to tran-

sitioning medical treatment for transgender people, artificial insemination, surrogacy pregnancy, and abortions. In a now moot lawsuit, a judge called the definitions in the law “overbroad” and would allow too much denial of care. The new rule essentially eliminated the problem section of the old rule containing the over-broad definitions, narrowing the universe of employees who may deny service.

Ooh la la, hottie for French PM

Gabriel Attal is the new Prime Minister of France — the first openly gay person to serve in the position and, at 34 years old, the youngest to fill the role in over 65 years. He has a resume that shames former South Bend Mayor and current U. S. Secretary of Transportation Peter Buttigieg. Prior to PM, he was minister of education, having previously been minister of public works (French version of Mayor Pete’s job), and was the government spokesman from 2020 to 2022. He was controversial as

Education Minister, enacting a ban on the Muslim abaya dress in public schools. He pushed a very un-French position against bullying and advocated for school uniforms in public schools. Recent polling shows Attal as France’s most popular politician, with a 40 percent approval rating.

Gay, French PM on the market

The gay man, Gabriel Attal, newly appointed French Prime Minister, is also newly single. He was outed on social media in 2018 by a former classmate, Juan Branco. Attal claims Branco was the ringleader of “homophobic bullying” in school and implied Branco was “obsessed” with Attal’s sexual and affectional behavior. At the time of the outing, Attal made public his civil union with Stéphane Séjourné, a member of the European Parliament. The two have since reportedly broken up but have not spoken publicly about their relationship. Q

Birkeland, McCay bring new anti-transgender bill to the Utah Legislature

In their continuing efforts against the rights of transgender people, Utah Rep. Kera Birkeland, R-Morgan, and Utah Sen. Daniel McCay, R-Riverton, have introduced a bill that aims to restrict access for transgender individuals to restrooms and locker rooms in government-owned facil-

ities. The proposed legislation, known as HB257, also includes provisions requiring taxpayer-funded buildings to provide more unisex or single-occupant restrooms to enhance privacy for all individuals.

Birkeland, who was a key figure behind a bill passed in the 2022 session restricting transgender girls from participating in high school sports, believes that these measures are essential to clarify restroom usage and ensure maximum privacy. However, previous efforts by lawmakers to address transgender issues have faced criticism from activists who argue that such bills disproportionately target an already vulnerable population.

Equality Utah, an LGBTQ advocacy group, has been engaged in discussions with Birkeland regarding the new bill but remains concerned about certain aspects of the proposed policy.

HB257 meticulously defines both “male” and “female” and prohibits individuals from using restrooms or locker rooms designated for a different gender unless they have legally amended their birth certificate’s sex and undergone a primary sex characteristic surgical procedure aligning with the designated gender of the private space.

“This will be across the board in any government-funded facility,” Birkeland emphasized. “Schools, of course, yes. We

want to make sure that in the schools, people understand with clarity where kids should be going, what restrooms they should be using. The most important part of what restroom they should be using is the restroom that gives everybody the most amount of privacy.”

The bill defines an individual’s sex based on biological factors at birth such as reproductive organ anatomy, chromosomal makeup, and endogenous hormone profiles. It seems to draw inspiration from the “Women’s Bill of Rights,” crafted by the conservative-leaning nonprofit Independent Women’s Forum, which seeks to define who can be considered a woman and could potentially impact state laws protecting women.

HB257 also mandates that new public buildings ensure a percentage of toilets and showers are single-occupant facilities. While existing facilities can undergo a 20 percent reduction in restroom fixtures to accommodate more single-occupant spaces, the bill does not set a specific timeline for these conversions.

Birkeland believes that the majority of state-funded facilities already have unisex or single-stall spaces available and anticipates minimal impact on infrastructure if the bill passes.

“I don’t think this will really impact, in any way, the behaviors and actions of anyone because a lot of people who align with the LGBTQ community are already using the single-occupancy bathrooms,” Birkeland told the Deseret News. “What I hope that we can do with this is ensure that the people who are trying to use the pretext of being a member of the LGBTQ community, they can no longer perpetrate on people in these facilities because people will have a greater sense of privacy now.”

Marina Lowe, policy director for Equality Utah, expressed concerns about the bill, stating that it is “too restricting of a bodily function that we all as human beings have to engage in” (using the restroom.) She particularly questioned the enforcement mechanisms outlined in HB257, wondering how individuals violating the rule would be identified and dealt with.

Despite the concerns, Birkeland reassured that using restrooms for

“inappropriate purposes” or with harmful intent would be clear violations. She emphasized the importance of taking the issue seriously and outlined penalties for those making false allegations about restroom usage.

Lowe appreciated Birkeland’s approach of promoting more unisex and single-stall facilities rather than outright barring certain individuals from using their preferred restrooms, a tactic seen in bathroom bills from other states.

“This is, generally speaking, a relatively small population of individuals. And to have, year after year, the Legislature sort of focus on increasingly specific aspects of their lives probably doesn’t feel very good,” Lowe commented on the continued scrutiny faced by transgender individuals in the state.

Utah Transgender advocate Sue Robbins notes these bills are introduced across the country and serve only political, not practical, reasons.

“The so-called bathroom bills we have seen move rapidly across the country squarely target the trans community. These bills do not solve any problems and instead create more legal and practical issues,” she said. “Bathroom bills create a rhetoric around the transgender community that is not factually based and draw false conclusions about behavior in bathrooms and changing rooms.”

In addition to provisions related to transgender individuals and restroom use, Birkeland’s bill incorporates language similar to the federal Title IX law, aiming to address gender imbalances in educational programs. The bill seeks to make it easier for individuals to lodge complaints when Title IX is violated, with Birkeland expressing a desire for a more responsive Utah government.

“These bills invite discrimination against all Utahns by setting up a framework in law that allows the public to assess femininity and masculinity,” Robbins said. “All Utahns deserve better than this type of legislation, and we are committed to finding a more workable and fair solution.”

Robbins encouraged people to contact their representatives about the bill.

“Tell the stories of how these bills will harm you or your children,” she said. Q

Utah sued over social media law

The law out of last year’s Utah Legislative Session which requires all social media users to verify their age has raised concerns about privacy, freedom of speech, and potential violations of constitutional rights. And now it’s raised a lawsuit.

The legislation, set to take effect on March 1, came under fire for its one-sizefits-all approach, imposing stringent requirements on all Utah residents seeking to access various social media platforms. Under the law, users must verify their age through methods such as biometric facial scanning, entering the last four digits of their Social Security number, or uploading a driver’s license. Those under 18 are further required to obtain express permission from their parents.

Critics argue that this legislation represents an overreach by the government, restricting the rights of Utah residents and undermining the way people use technology in their daily lives. The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression filed a lawsuit on Jan. 12 against Utah officials, challenging the law’s constitutionality.

Hannah Zoulek, a high school student and one of the plaintiffs, expressed concerns about the law’s impact on her personal development.

“This law will require me and my mom to give sensitive personal information to major tech companies simply to access platforms that have been an integral part of my development, giving me a sense of community and really just helping me figure out who I am as a person,” said Zoulek. She fears that the law will have a chilling effect on Utahns’ speech online, particularly for individuals like herself who identify as queer.

The lawsuit, led by FIRE, includes plaintiffs with diverse backgrounds and experiences. One of the plaintiffs is a YouTuber who creates content about cooking and mental health, while two others are online advocates who escaped a polygamous community and now provide resources to those in similar situations. Lu Ann Cooper and Jessica Christensen, co-founders of the organization Hope After Polygamy, emphasize that at-risk youth will be disproportionately affected by the law’s restrictions.

Cooper, who escaped an abusive polygamous family, highlighted the vital role social media plays in providing resources to individuals in difficult or dangerous situations. She stated, “This law will only hurt children in similar situations.” The plaintiffs argue that the law hinders minors’ ability to find support and connect with people outside their immediate circle, particularly for vulnerable youth lacking support at home and school.

FIRE Chief Counsel Bob Corn-Revere emphasized the historical pattern of censorship as a response to new cultural phenomena. “Censorship is the wrong response to concerns presented by new cultural phenomena, whether the printing press in the 1400s, comic books in the ‘50s, video games in the ‘90s, or social media today,” said Corn-Revere. The lawsuit seeks to halt the enforcement of the law and declare it invalid, with FIRE urging the state of Utah to reconsider less restrictive avenues.

The impact of Utah’s legislation extends beyond concerns about freedom of speech and association. Critics argue that the law’s broad scope could affect a wide range of platforms, from traditional social media sites like Facebook to community-oriented platforms like Goodreads and Allrecipes. The controversy has also sparked a broader conversation about government interference in personal and familial decisions regarding social media use.

Lu Ann Cooper expressed frustration, stating, “The state of Utah is trying to tell me how to raise my kids. This law

interferes with my right as a mom to determine how my kids use social media, which each family should decide for itself.” Similar laws are being proposed or enacted in other states, including New Jersey and Louisiana. However, courts in Arkansas and Ohio have already blocked the enforcement of similar laws.

FIRE attorney Kelley Bregenzer criticized Utah’s approach, stating, “Utah ignored less restrictive avenues or media literacy efforts, immediately resorting to a sledgehammer of a law.” The lawsuit calls for a reevaluation of the law, emphasizing the need for a more nuanced and less intrusive approach to address the concerns raised by the state. As legal battles unfold, the outcome could set a precedent for how other states navigate the intersection of technology, privacy, and individual rights. Q

Queer Utah Legislation Tracker

H.J.R. 2 JOINT RESOLUTION FOR GENDER REASSIGNMENT SURGICAL HEALTH BENEFITS, Rep. Sahara Hayes, D-Millcreek

HB111: EMPLOYMENT TRAINING REQUIREMENT LIMITATIONS, Rep. Tim Jimenez, R-Tooele

HB157: CHILD CUSTODY FACTOR AMENDMENTS, Rep. Stephanie Gricius, R-Eagle Mountain

HB187: LIMITATION ON DEFENSES

BASED ON VICTIM IDENTITY, Rep. Sahara Hayes, D-Millcreek

HB257 SEX-BASED DESIGNATIONS FOR PRIVACY, ANTI-BULLYING, AND WOMEN’S OPPORTUNITIES, Rep. Kera Birkeland, R-Morgan; Sen. Daniel McCay, R-Riverton

HB253 USE OF SEX-DESIGNATED FACILITIES IN PUBLIC AND HIGHER EDUCATION, Rep. Phil Lyman, R-Blanding

Longer descriptions are available for these bills at qsaltlake.com

Queer high school student and plaintiff Hannah Zoulek.

PHOTO: GUILLAUME BIGOT

GOP Senate hopeful Brent Hatch advocates limiting governmental role in LGBTQ+ issues

In an interview with Newsweek, Brent Hatch, candidate for Utah’s soon-to-be vacant senate seat currently held by Sen. Mitt Romney, highlighted his stance on governmental intervention in LGBTQ+ issues and abortion rights. The son of late Republican Senator Orrin Hatch joins a competitive race for the Senate seat, emphasizing a platform centered on border security, reducing national debt, and advocating for limited government interference in social issues.

With the upcoming vacancy in the Utah Senate seat in 2024 due to Romney’s impending retirement, Hatch is among several contenders, including U.S. Rep. John Curtis, former Utah Rep. Brad Wilson, and Riverton Mayor Trent Staggs, vying for the Republican candidacy.

In the interview, Hatch emphasized his belief that the government should maintain a limited role in LGBTQ+ issues.

“I think the government largely needs to stay out of these things, and people need to live their lives,” he remarked during the video interview with Newsweek. “There are certain things where I suppose government has to get involved.”

While Hatch acknowledged the evolving discussions around LGBTQ+ issues, particularly those concerning transgender youths, he expressed a clear preference for the government to abstain from inter-

vening in such matters.

“Nobody [politically] talked about these kind of things 10, 20 years ago,” said Hatch. “And every one of us had had friends or family members that were dealing with some of those issues, and we got through it … and now government wants to make it a government thing. I don’t see any reason to do that.”

“It’s not part of my platform … but I do think we’ve gotten a little bit overboard,” he added, highlighting his focus on other critical national concerns.

Regarding abortion, a contentious topic since the Supreme Court’s 2022 decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, Hatch identified himself as pro-life. However, he underscored the importance of personal choice in such matters. “I am very clearly pro-life. But I do think those are personal decisions,” he stated, urging individuals to consider their choices thoughtfully.

Hatch outlined his aspirations as a senator, emphasizing a commitment to legislative initiatives aimed at improving lives and reducing undue government interference in businesses and individual lives.

“Look at legislation, look at the types of things that would make everybody’s life better — make everybody’s life more productive, make everybody’s business less put upon by the government … those types of things,” he asserted.

As the race for the Senate seat intensifies in Utah, Hatch’s focus on limited government intervention in social issues like LGBTQ+ rights and abortion rights presents a distinct stance amid a diverse field of candidates vying for the Republican nomination. With societal debates surrounding these issues intensifying, the approach of candidates like Hatch adds depth to the ongoing dialogue on the role of government in addressing such matters. Q

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Affirmation to elect new president

Affirmation LGBTQ Mormons, Families, and Friends are holding a special election to replace their outgoing president, Melissa Malcolm King, who resigned on Dec. 31, 2023. King will no longer serve on the board of Affirmation but has agreed to serve on several organizational committees.

During King’s tenure as president, they led the development of a Mental Health Taskforce. The MHT strengthened and built ties with other LGBTQ+ organizations in Utah, especially Encircle House, Celebrate Therapy, and Flourish Therapy, as well as mental health researchers and clinicians across the United States, Mexico, and Spain.

When elected, the new president will serve the remainder of the current presidential term, which ends on December 31st, 2024. Candidate declarations must be submitted by February 2nd, 11:59 p.m. Mountain Standard Time.

Candidates seeking election as President of Affirmation will be published in the Affirmation Messenger e-newsletter, on the Affirmation website, and on Affirmation’s social media.

The president is the only position in Affirmation elected by all voting members of the organization. The president appoints two vice presidents, and these three people form an executive committee that conducts the business of Affirmation along with the board of directors and a large expanded team of volunteers. Q For more information, the complete election timeline and form to submit candidate declarations is at affirmation.org/about/presidential-election/

Claybourne Elder loves having a gay older brother.

Claybourne Elder is known for acting in the American historical drama series, “The Gilded Age,” as well as starring in stage productions on Broadway. He recently did a show with the Utah Symphony at Salt Lake’s Abravanel Hall.

In the television series “The Gilded Age,” the 41-year-old Elder portrays John Adams, a recurring character who serves as the romantic interest of Oscar van Rhijn, one of the main characters played by Blake Ritson.

Born and raised in Springfield, Utah, Elder is the youngest of eight siblings. He married director married director Eric Rosen in New York in 2012 and has a child.

In addition to his talents in singing and acting, Elder is also a writer and occasionally performs stand-up comedy. During a recent comedy show, Elder joked about having a gay older brother.

“We’re going to hell, but it’s cute because we’re going as a family,” he quipped.

“Having a gay older brother was great,” he goes on to explain, saying they both loved doing the same things.

“That’s why it was so nice [having a gay brother] … I could come home from school and make a charcuterie board with [him]. And then we put on my grandmother’s Edith Piaf records and we’d do our French homework together.”

The video is posted at instagram.com/claybourneelder Q

views

quotes

“My bill basically says that genders have to stay in the bathroom or locker room of the gender that they were at birth or find an existing unisex facility. My bill defines what is a boy and what is a girl, if they have the genitalia that produces sperm, they’re a boy, eggs they’re a girl.”

—Utah State Rep. Phil Lyman, Blanding

“I don’t think [HB257] will really impact, in any way, the behaviors and actions of anyone because a lot of people who align with the LGBTQ community are already using the singleoccupancy bathrooms.”

—Rep. Kera Birkeland

“Having a gay older brother was great ... “We’re going to hell, but it’s cute because we’re going as a family ... it was so nice. I could come home from school and make a charcuterie board with [him]. And then we put on my grandmother’s Edith Piaf records and we’d do our French homework together..”

—Claybourne Elder on having a gay brother

Good Riddance, George Santos — Long Live Kitara Ravache!

BY SARAH BRICKER HUNT

The sad,predictable ousting of George Santos from the esteemed (just kidding) halls of our nation’s Congress isn’t the satisfying end to the saga of the “proud, gay thief” I’d been hoping for. I’m still left with so many questions, which will remain unanswered because Santos is many things, but most of all, he’s a big old liar.

I can’t begin to unravel the ball of fraud, con-artistry and hair gel Santos leaves in his wake. In a way, it’s fascinating. Sure, he’s a fraud who forces us to use terms from 1953 like “huckster,” but George Santos is also the modern-day queer Paul Bunyan we didn’t know we needed. Except, also, we didn’t need him.

Was he a good representation of queerness? Nope. Of his status as a Brazilian immigrant? Also nope. Oh, wait, but there’s the potentially inspiring fact that his education stopped at the GED level! Talk about a self-made man. Yes, he “made it” by lying, stealing and extorting his way into office, but is that not the American way in 2023? He’s been scamming friends and family alike since childhood, according to many resources. Who are we to discount achievements born from a lifetime dedicated to earnest dishonesty?

If anything, he’s the poster child for the Republican party. Does he lie more or less than the average Republican huckster out there on the stump imploring America to think of the children at grave risk for reading about the existence of gasp homosexual and transgender people? Well, maybe a little bit more, but if we only get to pick our elected leaders from brazen liars at this point, I’m picking the guy who cheats on his taxes over the guy who would be happy to deport (execute?) my family. Oh, but wait. Santos might just be on board with that, too.

Let’s explore Santos’ version of the so-called Homosexual Agenda. First, he’s a gay, married man who thinks his own marriage shouldn’t exist ( “It should have been a civil union” he told a group of reporters the day before his ousting). Fine, that’s at least a policy point, and one could argue that they should all be civil unions. You want to get married in the eyes of your God? Great, go do that in your house of worship. But, as with all things Santos, there’s much, much more.

I’m reminded of a Santos tale from days of yore (four years ago, which comes out to roughly 34 years in the Whatever This Is era). It was 2019, surely decades before Santos was sworn into Congress, assumedly on a copy of “A Million Little Pieces,” and the burgeoning political fraudster was just beginning to make a name for himself along K Street. The new Walk Away movement, aimed at persuading progressives away from the Democrat party, was all the rage, and Santos seized on a unique opportunity to capitalize on a quality that could set him apart from other Republicans.

At a Walk Away event that year, Santos described himself as

“Anthony Devolder” (a version of his full name) and talked about his newly formed group, United for Trump. At one point, he publicly asked a conservative transgender YouTube star to “help educate other trans people from not having to follow the narrative that the media and the Democrats put forward.” It was one of the first times Santos made clear what his approach would be on queer issues. In the following years, he’d voice support for Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” law, accuse Democrats of grooming kids and liken discussions about sexual orientation and gender identity to sexual abuse. “As a gay man, I stand proudly behind not teaching our children sex or sexual orientation,” Santos said in a 2022 Facebook video.

One could argue, quite effectively, that Santos, like many other alleged Republicans, doesn’t actually hold the personal

beliefs he has espoused on the campaign trail or as an elected official. Hopping the fastest-moving train, wherever it’s going, has long been a powerful political tactic, one that rarely has much to do with the issues at hand and everything to do with the quickest way to buy a vote or two. It hardly matters. At this point, I’m hoping the forthcoming incarnations of George Anthony Devolder Santos will return to his Brazilian roots — his halcyon drag queen days (which he vehemently denies, but there are an awful lot of pictures…).

Yes, the next time Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman hires Santos to do a Cameo for another indicted senator (yes, that’s what he’s doing for money now), I want to see Santos’ drag persona, Kitara Ravache, in her full regalia. Somehow, Santos as Kitara feels much more real and true than the fictional role he’s been playing in real life. Q Sarah Bricker Hunt, a proud Eastern Michigan University alum and the managing editor for Pride Source and Between The Lines, believes in the power of intentional journalism focused on people building their communities through everyday acts of love and service

WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE

• Talking about

• Looking

• Talking about having no purpose

Ever yt hi ng fr om Ange ls t o Zen

• Talking about in unbea

• Talking about being a bu to others

• Increasing

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The more the great associated with suicide but m be what causes a suicid

ILove like a brother

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

have this friend, George, whom I’ve known for about 25 years. He is simply one of the kindest and most gracious men you would ever be privileged to meet. We first became acquainted through my old work; I was a PR guy for publicly traded companies, and George wrote about investing in biotech and life sciences.

Over the years, he has been a friend, a mentor, and sometimes even a confidante. He has always encouraged me in my writing and, even more importantly, in my parenting.

entation. Quite the change for a guy that earned the nickname “Mr. Conservative”!

So, what could cause such a shift? Well, I won’t pretend to know anything about Sen. Goldwater’s inner thoughts or motivations, but I do know that he has a grandson named Ty. And I know that Ty is openly gay. I believe it would be hard to look your grandson in the eye, a young man whom you love, and then turn around and advocate for discrimination against him.

WHAT TO DO

If someone you know exhibits warning signs of suicide:

• Do not leave the person alone

• Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt

• Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 9-8-8 or 800-273-8255

• Take the person to an emergency room or seek help from a medical or mental health professional

George and his lovely wife Brenda call South Carolina home, but as luck would have it, they happened to be in San Francisco when Gus’s adoption was finalized and made time to join us at the celebration. From the very beginning, he’s shown me and my family nothing but unwavering support and unconditional love.

I’ve written before in this column how I’m a firm believer that being out and proud has an affirmative impact on advancing LGBTQ+ rights. Knowing someone who is openly gay can influence others’ opinions on the topic in a positive way. I think that’s especially true when the gay person is related to you.

But I also think that beliefs toward LGBTQ+ people can be changed simply by loving someone who is accepting of us. A recent email exchange with my friend George brought that to my attention and illustrated how influential a straight guy can be in changing the opinions of the staunchest opponent of gay rights.

LIFELINE 9-8-8

A free, 24/7 service that can provide suicidal persons or those around them with support, information and local resources.

Remember Sen. Barry Goldwater? For those of you who aren’t political nerds, Goldwater served for 30 years in the U.S. Senate, representing Arizona. He was also the Republican presidential nominee in 1964 – losing in a landslide to President Lyndon Johnson. He was so far to the right that his original philosophy is widely considered to be the basis of the Tea Party. However, in his later life, after he’d left the Senate, he became a very vocal supporter of queer rights. He was in favor of allowing gays to serve openly in the military, advocated for same-gender couples’ adoption rights, and favored employment protection based on sexual ori-

George is a regular reader of this column and frequently sends me his very kind thoughts about what I’ve written. After last month’s column, which focused on the nonchalance toward the LGBTQ+ community by young people, he told me that with so much hatred, ignorance, and hypocrisy in the world, what I had written had given him a glimmer of hope. Then he revealed to me something I considered incredibly impactful, something he’s allowed me to share: his older brother, Joe, has completely changed his view about gay people.

Like George, Joe is deeply religious. And like Sen. Goldwater, Joe is conservative. He also has a gay grandson. I have no doubt that his love for his grandson helped influence his evolution. But I told George not to sell himself short. I truly, deeply believe that his steadfast support and unconditional love for me and all gay people made Joe look inward and say to himself, “I need to be more like my little brother.”

That is the power of love. Q

creep of the month

Russia, and so many other places

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Comparisons

are an incredibly important part of sense-making for us humans. We’re always making them, especially when trying to describe something to someone else. We might say, “I just heard this great band. They sound a lot like if Guns N’ Roses were fronted by an opera singer.” Or, “His husband is a very buff guy. Think The Rock but with blonde hair.”

Helpful! Harmless! And essential.

But not all comparisons are made in good faith. And one of the favorite comparisons of the radical right is to point to a country where LGBTQ+ people are treated worse than they are in the U.S. as if to say, “See? It isn’t so bad here. Quit your complaining.”

It’s a way to just shut down conversations about LGBTQ+ rights and discrimination by declaring such discussions unnecessary, even silly. As if someone being treated even worse than you negates your own mistreatment.

Thus, when I encountered an alarming Dec. 22 Washington Post headline, I could already hear conservatives say stuff like, “Well, if you don’t like it here, move to Russia! See how that works out.”

Because, folks, it isn’t working out well. The headline in question reads, “In Russia, parents are having gay children abducted to be ‘cured.’”

“In Russia, where the entire LGBTQ+ community has been banned as ‘extremist,’ some parents are paying thugs to abduct their queer sons and daughters, forcing them into secure private centers to ‘cure’ them with so-called conversion therapy,” the opening paragraph reads.

This is, of course, horrific. Though, in case any disingenuous conservatives might want to point to a story like this to counter claims of LGBTQ+ oppression in the United States, let’s remember that these folks believe in conversion therapy. They believe LGBTQ+ people are sick and need to be cured. And if they aren’t cured? Well, are their lives really even valuable?

I can already hear the “love the sinner, hate the sin” crowd complaining that my depiction of them is hateful and wrong, as if telling someone, “I love you, but you are going to hell unless you renounce being queer, because being queer is disgusting and sinful,” isn’t hateful and wrong.

“Many were tricked or abducted, then held for months,” the Post article continues. “They recounted being beaten, humiliated or forced to read out confessions that they were destructive and selfish because of their ‘addiction’ to their sexual or gender identity — mimicking rigid programs designed to combat drug and alcohol addiction.”

The article also reports that they “emerged somehow mentally broken.” Ain’t no “somehow” about it. That’s the whole point of conversation therapy.

In 2020, the United Nations called for a global ban on conversion therapy, calling the practice “deeply harmful … inflicting severe pain and suffering and resulting in long-lasting psychological and physical damage,” the Post reports.

Anyone who has ever been put through this hell will tell you the same. And experts across the board condemn it.

If Russia seems to have taken a very nasty turn against LGBTQ+ people, well, they have. Though things weren’t good before. They’re just a lot worse now.

There is, of course, a method to the madness.

“In President Vladimir Putin’s move to cement his rule and build a repressive, deeply conservative nation, he has singled out LGBTQ+ people as scapegoats alongside antiwar activists,” the Post reports. “But the rhetoric is also part of Putin’s bid to enlist socially conservative nations in Africa and the Middle East to back Russia in its war against Ukraine. At the same, he hopes to divide liberal Western democracies by encouraging antipathy to LGBTQ+ rights.”

Huh. Using LGBTQ+ people as rhetorical cannon fodder in your war to justify your continued use of Ukrainian people as literal cannon fodder. Sick. But not surprising.

Thankfully, singling out LGBTQ+ people for harm to acquire political gains would never happen in the United States. (Checks the Republican Party playbook going back to Ronald Reagan). Oh, wait.

Honestly, besides wanting to make the rich richer and the poor suffer as much as possible, fanning hatred for LGBTQ+ people, and trying to ban abortion nationwide, the GOP doesn’t have much else.

Yet people keep electing them, FFS.

I’m very tired of hearing, “But they put gays to death in Iran! Don’t you care about that?” when the subject of LGBTQ+ oppression in the United States comes up. The truth of the matter is, the person giving such a response probably doesn’t actually care about a gay man being killed in Iran or any other country. They just want to minimize the suffering caused by the policies they support here at home.

This isn’t the Suffering Olympics. This is a complex, worldwide human rights issue. Just because some places “aren’t as bad” as others doesn’t mean we don’t have work to do. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a writer living with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBTQ+ politics for nearly two decades. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

positive thoughts

‘Playboy’ magazine was a model of reporting on HIV/AIDS in the 1980s

BY AMY FLETCHER

In an analog era, newspapers and magazines provided much of the essential HIV/AIDS reporting in the United States by disseminating updates on the evolving medical consensus that shaped an emergent pandemic politics.

Among the popular magazines of the 1980s, Playboy had a unique vantage point on the crisis. The AIDS epidemic and the moral panic it engendered — threatened not only the magazine’s business model but its worldview. The magazine’s focus on sexual liberation, tolerance and civil liberties meant that it recognized the political threat posed by HIV/AIDS — both to marginalized communities and sexual freedom — with a clarity that other magazines lacked.

On the edge of disaster

In a cultural sense, the free-love era of the 1970s conclusively ended on July 3, 1981, when The New York Times reported on an emerging health threat under the headline “Rare Cancer Seen in 41 Homosexuals.” This was the first widely available account of a mysterious virus that, by 1983, would be known globally as the human immunodeficiency virus. Most non-specialists knew the virus by its late-stage — and, at that point, terminal — development: AIDS.

It can be difficult for those under the age of 40 to comprehend how devastating those early years were, before either effective antiretroviral treatment or the prevention drugs pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) and post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) existed.

In 1979, the World Health Organization eradicated smallpox, which unleashed a feeling that anything was possible. However, the then-elusive nature of HIV transmission, coupled with potentially long incubation periods, short-circuited medical optimism about the end of viral infections.

Politics also exacerbated the health crisis. President Reagan (1981–1989) did not publicly use the word “AIDS” until September 1985, a full four years after the crisis officially began. As the death toll rose, magazines such as Time and Newsweek tried to fill the leadership gap by raising awareness, though they often did so in ways that fueled paranoia and prejudice.

For example, Newsweek’s first cover story on AIDS — published in 1983 under the bold headline EPIDEMIC — announced that “a new and deadly disease is coursing through the country wasting bodies of victims, incubating in an untold number of others who have yet to show symptoms and triggering one of the most intensive investigations in medical history.”

Other publications, like the Los Angeles Times, began to poll people in the United States about their reactions to people diagnosed with HIV. While the ostensible goal was to combat prejudice, this type of reporting often perpetuated the stigma it was meant to alleviate.

Playboy focused on risk assessments in the initial stages of the crisis, excelling at judicious reporting of official data. However, its unique position in the culture — both mainstream and niche — allowed it to channel the rage of an era soaked in death much more effectively than weekly magazines that tried to stake out a “middle ground.”

Into the abyss

In the mid-20th century, Playboy magazine was a cultural behemoth. It debuted in December 1953 and by 1960 was selling one million copies per month. By the early 1960s, with the arrival of the contraceptive pill and as the sexual revolution was about to ignite, founder Hugh Hefner staked his future on six pillars: sexual liberation, personal freedom, consumerism, free speech, rationalism and secularism. Under that formula, by 1975, at the apex of the sexual revolution, an astonish-

ing 5.6 million copies of the magazine circulated monthly.

Yet the HIV/AIDS crisis in the 1980s threatened Playboy’s libertarian ethos at a fundamental level. While other mainstream publications tried to maintain a measured air toward the crisis, Playboy raged. It recognized that HIV/AIDS mercilessly struck down people in their prime and that the epidemic was rapidly becoming not only a health catastrophe but a political and cultural disaster.

In October 1983, Playboy contributor David Nimmons scathingly argued, “All we had to worry about was plain old V.D. [venereal disease]. Then, when V.D. became a ‘sexually transmitted disease,’ the media swung their klieg lights into place and we got ‘scourges’ or, even better, ‘plagues.’” Playboy writers like Nimmons were attuned to the media language of HIV and AIDS quite early, calling out the way in which the media often stoked fear and boosted the cultural backlash being orchestrated by political actors such as evangelist Jerry Falwell and Sen. Jesse Helms (R-NC).

Nimmons also explicitly criticized the previously mentioned Newsweek article, noting that “‘incubating in untold numbers’ … is journalese for ‘We dunno.’” Most importantly, the article confronted the issue of homophobia and

stigma with clarity, arguing: “About AIDS being a ‘gay’ disease: It’s not. There’s no such thing. Germs can swing both ways, and they don’t care whom their hosts sleep with.”

Addressing the virus’ reality

By the mid-1980s, Playboy was openly politicizing the cultural dynamics of the crisis. It linked the deliberate cultivation of paranoia about the gay rights movement (and the demonization of gay men) to a broader cultural agenda intent on reversing every step forward made in the 1970s: “

We’re facing a rerun of the Dark Ages. ... While it is easy to scorn the parents we see on television who won’t allow their children to sit in the same class as a victim of AIDS, the darker possibility is that those parents are going to start forbidding gay teachers to even enter the classroom.”

Simultaneously, the magazine tried to depoliticize medical issues that were vulnerable to manipulation. In June 1986, for example, Playboy bluntly called out the new morality police when it declared, “Some people have the idea that sex causes AIDS. That’s not true. ... What causes AIDS is a virus — a tiny, delicate shred of genetic material — called HTLV-III/LAV.”

Such editorializing might seem unremarkable today or the bare minimum of consideration one should give those living with a chronic illness. But in the context of the 1980s, it was unusual for a popular magazine to explicitly decouple HIV and AIDS from blame and to confront the deeply entrenched notion that the infection and condition were

a punishment rendered unto those who had sinned. As Arthur Kretchmer warned, “It’s no surprise that Jerry Falwell is working this street. AIDS almost lives up to Falwell’s idea of a dream disease — one that would instantly strike dead anyone having sex not sanctioned by his church.”

In July 1987, when it had become obvious that no vaccine was imminent and the death toll had risen to more than 20,000 people, contributor Cynthia Heimel urged Playboy’s readers to realize that “in place of hysteria, we need compassion and dignity. We need to work incessantly to find a cure, a vaccine. We must stop blaming the victims of AIDS and instead mourn their tragedy. It’s the only way to set the life force back on track.”

Against the backdrop of fourth-wave feminism and the #MeToo movement, Playboy has lost much of its cultural cachet. Yet, however self-serving Hefner’s ethos might have been in other respects, on the issue of HIV/AIDS, his magazine called out hypocrisy, mendacity and fear at a time when the government seemed willfully oblivious to the human toll of the disease and the danger of the new puritanism.

Though an imperfect messenger, Playboy played an unwavering role in debunking stigma and elevating the rights of maligned and vulnerable communities. Today’s publications should take note and follow suit. Q

Amy Fletcher, Ph.D., is a freelance writer, public speaker and educator with over 20 years of experience in global health politics, health technology and American politics. This column is a project of TheBody, Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake Magazine. Visit their websites for the latest updates on HIV/AIDS.

A gay Utahn’s story of giving blood as FDA changes rules

BY MICHAEL AARON

When Chris Van Bibber was born, his mother, Sheri Van Bibber, faced a life-threatening medical complication and relied on donated blood for her survival. Chris grew up with a deep understanding of the life-saving impact of blood donation. But, until last year, blood donation guidelines put forth during the beginning of the HIV/AIDS pandemic forbade any sexually active gay or bisexual man from donating blood.

Gay rights groups long opposed the blanket restrictions on who can give blood, saying they discriminate. Medical groups, including the American Medical Association, said such exclusions were unnecessary, given advances in blood testing.

Thanks to new federal guidelines, gay and bisexual men in monogamous relationships can now donate at many blood centers around the country without abstaining from sex.

Now, potential donors — regardless of sexual orientation, sex, or gender — are screened with a new questionnaire focused on individual risks for HIV based on sexual behavior, recent partners, and other factors. Potential donors who report having anal sex with new

partners in the last three months are barred from giving until a later date.

The American Red Cross, which accounts for about 40 percent of blood and blood component donations in the U.S., began implementing the new guidance in August, including the Salt Lake City chapter.

That is where Chris Van Bibber, followed by a team of cameras and reporters, became the first openly gay male Utahn to donate blood in the state.

“Chris’ journey as one of the first Red Cross donors under the newly implemented guidelines signifies a significant step towards inclusivity and equality,” the American Red Cross of Utah said in a statement. “The FDA recently eliminated blood donation policies based on sexual orientation and replaced them with a new screening process based on individual risk factors. These updated guidelines allow more LGBTQ+ individuals, like Chris, to contribute to the critical need for blood donations.”

“I am so proud that I could donate blood today,” Chris said. “There is no substitute for blood, and so many patients are in need. We need to have inclusive procedures that allow more

people to donate and protect the blood supply. I encourage everyone to come donate blood at the Red Cross.”

In addition to his unwavering advocacy for blood donation, Chris possesses an O-negative blood type, making him a universal donor. Despite feeling healthy and eager to contribute, Chris had previously been restricted from donating due to the outdated FDA guidelines. He now finds tremendous joy in giving back.

“To finally be able to donate myself and give back, I’m so happy to be here,” Chris said as he laid back in a chair, donating his blood.

Chris emphasizes that blood donation has become an ongoing conversation among his LGBTQ+ friends. He highlights the significance of this opportunity and the desire within his community to participate. However, he also underscores the need for further research regarding individuals using HIV prevention medications like PrEP and PEP, stating, “My community wants to donate.”

Chris explained that only three percent of Americans donate blood.

“Our community is strong and resilient, and we are finally being given an opportunity to show just how neces-

sary our contributions to this cause can be. We could be the difference that changes those statistics, and I look forward to seeing us do just that — one donation at a time,” Chris said. “A single unit donated can impact three individuals in need within four days.”

Prior to the new rules, Chris felt like an outsider in his own family, as his mother, Sheri, organizes blood drives for the Red Cross, and his family donated regularly, yet he couldn’t.

“It felt very limiting and very invasive of my personal life that I wouldn’t be able to donate or give back in the way that I wanted to,” Chris said. “Donating blood and knowing the importance of that has been a part of our family for

since I’ve been alive, and so to not be able to participate, not be able to do my right in giving back, it was certainly discerning.”

“It has truly been a full circle moment being able to donate again, and I am so grateful that I have been able to do so,” Chris said.

Chris heard about new rules coming to blood donations before they were made public but feared what they might say.

“I was a little leery just because I wanted to know how they were going to make that change, and is it truly going to be inclusive, and how are they going to involve everybody?” he said. “And as it finally rolled out, and I read the requirements before I went to go donate, I sat there, and I’m like, ‘This is how we do it. This

is absolutely the first step to take, and science is going to keep working with us, and it’s only going to go up from here.’”

Van Bibber noted a positive response from the LGBTQ community, highlighting individuals stepping forward to donate, some unaware of their newfound eligibility, and others sharing their inaugural donation experiences.

Yet, both he and fellow advocates underscore the ongoing need for progress. One proposal for greater inclusivity in blood donation involves extending eligibility to individuals taking PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis). PrEP, a daily pill comprising two medications, serves to prevent HIV-negative individuals from contracting the virus. Q

Alex Edelman is still

figuring himself out, one joke at a time

The rising comedian reflects on his queer inspirations and his own identity

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Comedian

Alex Edelman is experiencing lots of firsts. For Edelman, many of those firsts, including questions that challenge him to reflect on his sexuality, are being lived out in public, even in interviews such as this one.

First there was his debut stand-up comedy show, “Millennial,” winner of the Edinburgh Comedy Award for Best Newcomer at the 2014 Edinburgh Festival Fringe, making him, yes, the first American to do so since Arj Barker won in 1997. Another first — covertly attending a meeting of White Nationalists amid anti-Semitic rhetoric pointed in his direction online — would later become part of his “Just for Us” show, which gave him his first Broadway run when it launched at the Hudson Theatre in the summer of 2023.

He then got his first review in the New Yorker when the show first hit the stage off-Broadway, at SoHo Playhouse in New York. “Uproarious! Among Edelman’s many strengths as a writer and performer is an exceptional eye for the absurd,” Rollo Romig wrote. The show ran internationally in London and Melbourne, and is now touring the U.S.

The “firsts” also extend to an appearance in late 2023 on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” where he met, for the first time, one of his favorites: Mariah Carey. On camera for our interview, Edelman holds up his phone to show me a text from his mom with a screenshot and this caption: “Your GF in People Magazine.” I asked him if he saw her in concert during her holiday run of shows, and I can’t tell if he’s serious, but he joke-whispers to me on camera that, “We looked into canceling a show to go see Mariah.”

Then there’s his Queerty debut; without knowing it until this interview, he first made it onto the queer media site in June 2023, Pride month, with the headline, “Will Broadway’s Alex Edelman be our new straight (bi?) BFF?” Edelman tells me he is very connected to queerness through close, loving connections he has in the community, even if he’s still figuring out where he might fit into that community.

As someone who didn’t even envision “Just For Us” on Broadway, what has it been like for you to see the show evolve from small venues to Broadway and now a national tour? Magical. Halcyon. Unbelievable. Heartbreaking. Bewildering. Fulfilling. An escape. Such a textured set of emotions, and also to have to constantly re-engage with the material in different contexts is really interesting as a craft challenge, and an emotional one. But, yeah. It’s been really, really special. It’s

been the most gorgeous experience. It’s really something. Considering the comedic nature of the material, I’m struck by the word “heartbreaking.” We lost our director [Adam Brace, who died in May]. My best friend, who I did the work with. So, on one hand, to use a horrific, horrific cliche, my community has really rallied around me. And, on the other hand, he’s missing all of it. Adam’s missing all of this. The show has been, thank god, rapturously received and people seem to enjoy it, and I love doing it. But part of the reason I love doing it is because it makes me feel close to my dead friend. Not to be too direct, but I’ve had two coffees today already. So, I’m very spicy. Every time you get on stage, I imagine, you can’t not think about him. It’s the 10 minutes before the show actually, and then the two or three minutes afterwards. Ten minutes before the show, my crew and I sit down and talk about what they think I should be doing differently on stage. And, we set five goals for the show. We’ve done that for hundreds of performances.

Comedy for me is about details and making sure that all the details are very looked after. I don’t take a single line for granted. There’s no word out of place, nothing stays there just because it was there before. Just because something existed doesn’t mean that it’s worthy. So, any line is a candidate for replacement if it all of a sudden stops working or the cultural context around it changes. So, things like that have happened to various jokes in the show, and they’ve fallen away or come in.

I wondered about how the material has evolved with personal and world events. As someone who has not seen the show, I can only base what I know on the show on lots of acknowledgement and reviews in major publications like The New Yorker. Reviews have thankfully, I think, driven people to the show in a huge way. And, also Sarah Jessica Parker. When Sarah Jessica Parker put it on her ’gram, that sold out our entire New York run. She’s amazing. Talk about divas that I owe. Sarah and Mariah. SJP and Mariah. Are you kidding? Mariah was like, “I’m going to come.” And I was like, “You’re not going to come. I would die if you did.” All my comedy heroes have come to see it. Seinfeld came to see it and fucking Steve Martin and Billy Crystal. Billy Crystal’s huge for me. When it comes to the show’s material, how have your experiences, even just sharing your life as a Jewish person, feel for you now during what’s happening in the Middle East with the Israeli-Palestinian war? I think it’s become more visceral for me. There’s a question at the center of the show, which is, what is our place in the world? And I think an invitation to consider that in a way that is 90 minutes of jokes, is actually a really interesting and unique way to envision it.

Look, when I was in college, one of the theories of postmodern literature, which I studied, was the idea that you stand a much better chance of getting your arms around big concepts by viewing them in your peripheral vision or through the prism of something else. So, the questions of Jewish identity and what does it mean to be Jewish? I’m grateful that I’m doing a show that’s about assimilation, or about people’s place in the world.

Because the show has had a lot of relevance for people who

are not just Jews. It’s found purchase with queer people and Muslim people and even a guy who told me he was from a family of musicians and always wondered if it should mean more. And I’ve had lots of people, Jews and non Jews, come up to me to tell me that the show has been an escape for them in L.A. here, and in San Francisco, where I did it for a while. So, look, I’ve changed some things in the show. I open with a joke that addresses it, but I think the show’s been an escape. But comedy is a great way to Trojan horse things. Sugar makes the medicine go down. And I think that the show has had that effect on people, thank god. I’m really thrilled by that. You mentioned recognizing that you have a bigger queer audience now. I mean, Thanksgiving wasn’t all that long ago, so you technically just came out all over again. Congratulations! [Laughs.] So, if you’re watching or listening or reading and you don’t know, I did this joke in 2015 on television in Australia about how I have a homophobic uncle. And so, I come out of the closet on Thanksgiving, every Thanksgiving. It’s like a description of doing it one year, which was 2014, 2013 maybe? I can’t remember. And the joke’s gone viral a bunch of times. When it started, everyone felt like the discourse was a lot of straight people going, “This is offensive.” And a lot of queer people being like, “This is awesome.”

And now, I reposted it the other day, because it was Thanksgiving, just to see what it would be like. Not a single negative comment. I was thinking about that. I was like, “I wonder if we’ve gotten more nuanced in our understanding of how jokes work, or if we’ve gotten more nuanced in our understanding of how queer experiences work?” It’s really interesting watching people’s response to the jokes. Jokes can be such good bellwethers or such good weather vanes for how people feel about certain social issues and our discourse and how we talk to each other. And no one has ever in person said to me that that joke has offended them. I have had a couple of people come up to me to tell me that that joke made them come out to their families. To me, the point of that joke was that whether you’re just an ally or not, it’s important to have those hard conversations with people around you who you think may be homophobic. There was a line in the joke that I was always very proud of, which is, “They say coming out is the hardest thing a young person can do. And it is, but it gets easier every single year.” That’s not mocking the idea of young people coming out. It’s very hard. There’s something special about making a point that everyone can laugh at, even though it’s a divisive point.

I have my own sexuality and my own journey around my own sexual identity is something that I hold very closely to my chest and I’m very private about. And for reasons I don’t completely understand, but sometimes get into in my art. But queer people and trans people are huge, enormous parts of my life. My partners, my closest friends, family members. It’s a really, really special thing to me.

Is it easier to talk about that aspect of your life through your work? Yes. I have a joke in the show where I go, “If I was raised secular, I think I’d consider myself bisexual, but, be-

cause I was religious, I consider myself straight with some secrets.” And one of the few knocks on the show said, “I wish that the show had talked more about that.” The funny thing is, when I wrote the line, that was exactly how comfortable I was talking about it publicly. But I have lots of deep, deep conversations with queer people, particularly queer Jews in my life about sexuality in that intersection. When did you write that joke? 2021. A couple of years ago. You have acknowledged that perhaps if you weren’t religious and you didn’t grow up in Boston and lived in New York or maybe even West Hollywood that your experience with your own sexual identity might be much different. Yeah. I think that’s 1,000% true. But the people that I spend time with and draw wisdom from are people like Benj Pasek, an incredible songwriter, and Aluk, one of the great comics. And they’re queer as well. I’m not just listing my queer friends; I’m talking about people for whom their queerness is an animating force and who think as deeply about their queerness as anyone thinks about a vector of their identity. Watching people go through that journey of interrogation, in particular people I met through Benj, prompted a methodology of self-interrogation for me.

I feel like what you’re asking me is if what you’re saying is OK? I’m not asking you. I’m asking the most unkind people who might be viewing this or reading this and being like, “That’s not fair.” I’m not being like, “I’m friends with Jake Cohen, so I can speak with impunity about the way queer people move in the world,” as someone who is very close to the vest about their own queerness.

As someone who’s a rising comedian, is how open you are about your life something you have to take in consideration now? I don’t know that I’ve ever talked about this in an interview, but I feel a tremendous need for privacy around aspects of my process. And I feel a tremendous need for privacy around how I feel about other comedians. And I feel a tremendous need for privacy about certain ... I don’t know. I guess, some topical things feel really private to me, even if they’re not the spiciest topics.

Other topics that are spicy, I don’t feel the need to be private about at all. I feel like I have a very heterodox understanding of what I do and don’t need privacy for. And I like that. But, even recently, just talking about my identity as a Jew, that’s new to me. And even talking at all about my sex life, that’s new to me. And talking about all of this is very, very new.

These are good questions, just given that they’re not the same questions, which is like, “What was it like walking into that room?” And I’m like, “Well, I did a 90-minute show about it that you can see.”

Once you are written about in Queerty, I feel like there is automatically some public interest in your sexual identity. Have I been written about in Queerty?

Yes. Oh my god. Wow! Don’t think I’m not looking that up as soon as I get off. Q

Chris Azzopardi is the editorial director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

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‘Breaking Free’ changed everything for this once-closeted Secret Service agent

Living his truth has allowed Cory Allen to become the role model he needed growing up

BY SARAH BRICKER HUNT

Growing up, Cory Allen found inspiration for what his adult life would become in an unexpected place: the police officers who frequently visited his childhood home in rural Pennsylvania to resolve domestic disputes between his mother and stepfather. “Due to the frequent interactions with the sheriff’s office, I grew to admire what they did, and I realized that I wanted to make a difference for victims like they did for us,” he recalls in his anew memoir, “Breaking Free: A Saga of Self-Discovery,” available now.

Allen’s career in law enforcement and the Air Force would eventually lead him to a Secret Service detail protecting Michelle Obama for two years starting in 2016. In the book, Allen focuses on his path from a sometimes tumultuous childhood to his early experiences in

law enforcement, when he kept his homosexuality hidden while in the Secret Service, which he described to BTL as a “front seat to history” in a recent interview.

Allen detailed Michelle Obama toward the end of President Obama’s second term through her book tour in 2018. “To be able to experience things like the Supreme Court cases that had such a big impact on the fight for LGBTQ+ progress, to know that jubilation and immediate impact on my life — it was incredible,” he recalls. “To see the Obamas come out of office and become so much more after that, especially when I was with Michelle on her ‘Becoming’ book tour, I got to see firsthand how that positive impact affected people.”

While Allen speaks highly of his time as an active Secret Service agent, he says that after Trump’s 2016 win, the mood shifted. “It’s been heartbreaking at times for so many of

us — really, it’s been a recalibration for me personally,” he says. “It’s been quite the journey to watch all that take place, like Obama getting on Air Force One for the last time; to literally be there to watch that was surreal and humbling.”

Today, Allen has planted roots in California, where he still works with the Secret Service as a supervisory special agent and is planning his wedding to fiancé Johnny, a physician. At some point, he envisions becoming a father. It’s hard to imagine that it was only a few years ago when Allen came out as gay in the professional setting. For many years, he kept his homosexuality under wraps, including a stretch when, as a police officer, he got married and divorced a few years later.

Working in law enforcement might seem like an unlikely fit for a queer person, but Allen says an argument can be made that it’s actually relatively common for LGBTQ+ people who grew up in conservative areas that are neither safe nor affirming. “We tend to steer hard to the right, career-wise,” he explains. “A lot of us end up in the military or law enforcement because we’re trying to fight our true identity and present the most active, masculine vision of ourselves to the world.”

For Allen, the choice to steer right was a good one. “I thrived in it,” he says. “Law enforcement had such a critical impact on my life as a kid, so that kind of came full circle when I went in to work for that very same agency we used to call on for help at home.”

and other agents because the supervisor “didn’t want that faggot” in the office. Later, when he became the first Secret Service agent to demand benefits for his then-husband after the 2013 Supreme Court ruling overturning the federal benefits section of Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), he got pushback. “We don’t have a policy for that,” he was told. Microaggressions were a daily occurrence at times, and the pressure and intense feelings of shame could have easily led Allen to retreat from a career where he’s under constant scrutiny and continuing risk of harassment. Instead, he’s become the role model for others that he never found as a kid.

As a supervisory agent, Allen often consults with fellow law enforcement officers and agents in a mentorship role, which includes giving talks about vulnerability, authenticity and leadership. At a class a few months ago, he says, “I talked about my vulnerability and my fear in being in this position as a gay man, about the struggles I’ve had. And the outpouring of support was admittedly unexpected, and then that night one of the agents in the class came out to me at dinner, someone who’s been in the career for 18 years and still doesn’t feel safe.”

Still, living “two separate lives” took its toll at times, Allen recalls. “I was deeply closeted, growing up outside Richmond, Virginia, which is deeply conservative. I didn’t have role models. I didn’t have visible LGBT people I could relate to or connect with. I just had to forge ahead and figure it out on my own.”

For a long time, Allen dated women. “I was 26 or 27 before I had my first experience with a man,” he says. “But… it was the light bulb: ‘This is what it should be and this is what feels normal and natural.’” Like so many LGBTQ+ people before him, once he began living life in a more honest, authentic way, there was no going back.

In “Breaking Free,” Allen details several times when he has been discriminated against. For example, in the Secret Service, he was assigned to the airport squad outside the main office

Allen has found that being authentic in public can open the door for other people living in the closet, even outside law enforcement. During a recent stop on his book tour, his conversation with the crowd seemingly inspired a worker there to come out to her manager. “She’s probably 21,” he recalls. “And she raises her hand and asks what it looked like when I came out — what resource did I use to help me become comfortable in my own skin. And it turned into this beautiful moment where she’s in her place of employment and in front of her manager. Eventually, everybody just starts supporting her and offering suggestions and support. Just beautiful.” A few days later, the manager emailed Allen to thank him and mentioned how much of a change she’s seen in the employee.

Recently, Allen says, a US Navy mom sent him a DM and called him her “new hero.” “She said, ‘My son is a naval officer, and he’s able to live his life out and proud because you had the courage to share your story,’ and it’s moments like that are… wow. This is a win no matter what, at the end of the day. If this all ends right now, I’ve had an impact on somebody’s else’s life.” Q Sarah Bricker Hunt, a proud Eastern Michigan University alum and the managing editor for Pride Source/Between The Lines, believes in the power of intentional journalism focused on people building their communities through everyday acts of love and service

BY THE COMMUNITY, FOR THE COMMUNITY

PUBLISHED BY QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE

GET LISTED AT SALES@QSALTLAKE COM

A TikTok chef cooks up sizzling success

There’s more to Jon Kung than meets the eye — and the taste buds

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

If you’re

one of the 1.7 million people following nonbinary chef Jon Kung on TikTok (@ jonkung), you may have watched their food tutorials and felt as hungry as you did thirsty. Hungry because, recently, they made spicy beef dumplings that look mouth-wateringly great, a recipe included in their new book, “ Kung Food: Chinese American Recipes from a Third-Culture Kitchen: A Cookbook.” Thirsty because they sometimes enjoy their dumplings in just a swimsuit, like they have in the past on a paddle board going down the Detroit River.

In the comments on a recent video of Kung preparing soba noodles without a shirt, one fan, who was clearly there for more than the food, wrote, “I’ve watched this 4x in a row and still couldn’t tell you any of the ingredients.” (Go back far enough in their feed and you’ll note that a simple gay white tank gets a lot of screen time.)

No surprise then that “TikTok zaddy” is how queer outlet INTO refers to Kung, who is 40 and describes themself as a “Farmer Jack-era Detroiter.” But that label, while inarguably true (they really did love that tank for a while), is the main course, but definitely not the full meal.

In a way you wouldn’t expect, their career in food started with a prospective career in theater, which they studied at Eastern Michigan University (EMU). TikTok is theater, of course.

“If you look at some of the most popular creators, it doesn’t even matter what genre — could be food, could be engineering, could be medical, could be law — it’s just a matter of being effective communicators,” they say about studying theater. “It helps you become effective as a communicator, and that’s why they do so well in this medium.”

Kung has undoubtedly done well — their impressive presence on social media, which became their full-fledged career focus just a few years ago, in 2020, eventually landed them a book deal through Clarkson Potter, a subsidiary of major publishing company Penguin Random House. In fact, you might go as far as saying that TikTok more than worked for them, and in a relatively short period.

“People who don’t really understand the art think performance is lying when really it’s the complete opposite,” they say. “It’s the expression of a truth at any given moment in time.”

Kung’s own truth is conveyed with dry humor and easy-tolove authenticity — the keys to success these days — that has allowed them to carve out a space in the professional chef world, with a side of baked-in queerness that goes much deeper than queer desire. For example, in the acknowledgments portion of the book, Kung raises the bar for engagement proposals, writing to their boyfriend-of-nine-years Jonathon: “Would you perhaps consider marrying me?” (Jonathon said yes.)

But long before the outro, there is richer context on Kung’s journey in the book’s introduction, which encompasses the answer to what “third-world culture” cooking means to them. To understand how who they are influences what they cook, this is a good place to start.

“

As a third-culture kid, I grew up neither fully here nor there — I didn’t feel completely accepted as American or Chinese,” they write. “Personally, I see ‘third culture’ as being something that is inclusive and full of possibility. It has had a huge influence on art, literature, fashion and design, and I would argue that it can also apply to food.”

Featuring recipes for dishes like Jerk Chow Mein, Buffalo Chicken Rangoons, and Hong Kong Chicken and Waffles, Kung’s debut cookbook is a self-proclaimed “celebration of diversity,” one that helped affirm their diasporic identity as it spotlights their roots as a Chinese American who was born in Los Angeles and raised in Hong Kong and Toronto. They describe their culinary style as “American Chinese,” or “Third-Culture Chinese.”

“While I might not be able to express all the intricacies of my identity and culture in words, I can do my best to cook you a dish that captures my story,” Kung writes in the book.

“When I found out we had ‘Kung Food’ in as a project with Potter, I just knew I absolutely had to work on it,” says Felix Cruz, a publicist at Clarkson Potter, who says he was struck by that passage.

“

Jon’s IG and TikTok videos were a big part of my pandemic routine — their voice was so soothing and the recipes they made, told with such insightful history and context, really strengthened my belief that cooking food is a powerful and intentional method for navigating uncertain times,” he adds.

The book, however, wasn’t ever really a part of Kung’s master plan, which, long before becoming a TikTok influencer and studying theater at EMU, also involved law school. In 2011, Kung got their law degree from the University of Detroit Mercy School of Law, but after they started practicing

on real cases, they realized it wasn’t for them and changed course. They returned to their creative roots, posting 60-second cooking lessons on TikTok in 2020, a quick pivot from Kung’s pandemic-spoiled plan to open a small restaurant. People were already baking sourdough at home while sheltering in place, and now they could join Kung in making some of their TikTok specialties: Lion’s Head Meatballs, a variety of tomato sandwiches and dishes based on anime characters.

“Sometimes we need something beyond language,” Cruz says. “Food can be an ultimate saving grace when it comes to expressing and articulating who I am, in all the eras of my life, in those many moments when words fail. Jon’s recipes formulate an architecture of belonging for so many of us during and beyond the pandemic; in finding themself they help us seek methods for finding our way too.”

Cruz wasn’t the only one connecting with Kung during the pandemic. In the early days of their TikTok launch, Kung’s followers grew exponentially, with surges that ranged from 10,000 to 30,000 followers, sometimes in a single day. “It was wild,” they say. “There was such a huge, crazy dopamine rush of just watching these numbers go up.”

“I started getting brand deals and major anime-based companies who had me on retainer for content,” Kung adds. “I realized within a few weeks I made more than I had made in an entire year both as a small business owner by myself and as a person who cooked on the line.”

Kung initially worked at Detroit restaurants including Standby and the now-closed Gold Cash Gold and ran Kung

Food Market Studio, a private dining space in Eastern Market. Their experience as a self-taught chef at pop-ups in the city was a “complete immersion, trial-by-fire thing,” which gave them a leg up on socials. It all snowballed into something so successful even Kung can’t completely wrap their head around it.

“

It hasn’t really felt real, I guess, for a really long time,” they say. “Considering the fact that my time in Detroit was so... it felt really rooted. And then just transferring it to an online presence and then having everything move and progress and change so fast. I mean, I’m still trying to come to terms with it.”

Recently, Kung took the book on tour, stopping in cities like Chicago, San Francisco and New York, before returning home to Michigan. More dates will be announced for next year, and Kung has their eyes on promo stops in Provincetown, Boston and Philadelphia.

It seems unlikely they’ll return to their original, pre-TikTok plan to open their own restaurant in Detroit — at least not for a while. “To open something now with uncertainty and high prices just doesn’t seem smart,” they say. Not to mention, when it comes to possibly returning to the service industry they once were a part of, “I can’t even sit through an episode of ‘The Bear.’”

“I would not mind just a little bit of coasting for a while,” they say. “With everything that I’ve done and have explored, I’m totally fine with just having one job, which is making content for a little while before exploring other avenues.” Q Chris Azzopardi is the editorial director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

Reimagining Portia: Exploring gender, law, and ethics in ‘Balthazar’ — a play of ideas

Playwright Debora Threedy discusses her Plan-B Theatre Company play

BY DEBORA THREEDY

I recall distinctly the moment the idea for what would become my play, BALTHAZAR, occurred to me. I was a law professor at the time. I was re-reading Shakespeare’s THE MERCHANT OF VENICE as research for a “law and literature” project focusing on Portia. As I read the climactic courtroom scene, this thought popped into my head: “When Portia goes to court, it’s not the first time she has appeared in public as a man.”

BALTHAZAR began as an exploration of why and how she would do that.

Of course, I needed a foil for Portia. I chose Bellario, her cousin. Although he is mentioned, he never appears in THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. Portia sends for him to help her prepare for court and to borrow his robes. Why would he, a respected lawyer, be willing to help Portia deceive the court by breaking gender norms and the law itself: a woman dressing as a man was considered witchcraft and punishable by death. So I began to wonder: what if

Bellario was also an outsider in terms of gender norms? What if he was gay?

In the 19th century, as women began advocating for greater legal rights and a more visible presence in public affairs, Portia was often held up as a hero. During the second wave of feminism in the latter half of the 20th century, the focus altered slightly: while still held up as a role model for women in law, more attention was paid to the price Portia had to pay in order to participate in the law: she had to hide her gender and adopt the “role” of a man. This masking of her gender resonated with women who were entering the legal profession in record numbers but felt pressure to comply with male norms in how they dressed, comported themselves, and lived their lives. And now, in the 21st century, we wonder if she might not be a positive role model after all, but instead embodies all that is wrong with the legal profession: deception, manipulation, and hyper-technicality.

When I was in law school in Chicago in the 1970s, women lawyers referred to themselves as Portias.

Portia resonated with women lawyers

when women were first entering law schools in more than token numbers because she had to disguise herself as a man in order to enter the courtroom. Many young women lawyers felt that way; I know I did. There was a dress code: you wore a tailored suit, with a jacket, a vest, a shirt with a (floppy) tie, and a skirt instead of trousers (trousers, ironically enough, were verboten – in Chicago, at that time a woman lawyer was thrown out of a courtroom for daring to show up in a tailored pantsuit). And, of course, there were those who wondered (including at times ourselves) if women who wanted to be lawyers were somehow less than real women. Portia has very practical reasons for wanting to appear as a man, but she wonders what it is about herself that makes that disguise so attractive to her.

When Portia goes to court as Balthazar, she is doubly masked. Yes, her gender is concealed, but she also appears as an impartial expert witness called in to help the Duke of Venice decide the case of Shylock v. Antonio. Yet, she is anything but impartial. Her husband Bassanio is Antonio’s best friend and lover. It is because of him that Antonio is in the fix he is. Throughout the course of my play BALTHAZAR, she is surprised to discover that she is unabashedly Team Antonio & Bassanio, determined to defeat Shylock. The mask of impartiality she wears in the courtroom scene complicates the picture of Portia as the play’s heroine. From the perspective of legal ethics, masking her self-interest in the outcome of the litigation is deeply problematic.

At the beginning of the process of writing BALTHAZAR some ten years ago, I identified with Portia’s masking of her gender. I am now trying to understand a Portia who struggles with the ethics of what she’s done by manipulating the law to save Antonio’s life, a Portia around whom Antonio, Bassanio, and Bellario can be their true selves, a Portia who is equally at home as Portia and Balthazar.

Today in 2024, we are experiencing an upsurge in homophobia. In particular, anti-trans and anti-drag legislation is sweeping state legislatures, including Utah’s. In part, this is pushback against recent strides in the recognition of the rights of sexual and gender minorities.

It’s an attempt to re-assert the idea that gender and sexual attraction are binaries, masculine and feminine, and male and female, and that any deviation from this is, in fact, deviant. BALTHAZAR, conversely, posits that gender is a continuum, that it can be fluid, that it is non-binary. Portia is a woman who embraces her maleness, who is most fully herself when the two co-exist.

I have been asked whether Portia’s desire to be like a man is simply a rebellion against the gender constraints placed upon women by Renaissance society. My reply? The answer is unknowable — perhaps irrelevant — because women have always been, and even now continue to be, constrained by their gender. Our world is still based upon a gender hierarchy; when women still earn less than men, even after accounting for all other variables besides gender, male is still the privileged gender. When I was a child in the middle of the last century, I often created imaginary worlds, and in these worlds, I was invariably male. I have thought about that a lot, and I still can’t say with certainty whether that was because I was well aware that men had a lot more options than women or whether it reflected a fundamental ambivalence about my assigned gender.

This play joins other plays that have re-imagined Shakespearian characters and stories for our times. Plays like Paula Vogel’s “Desdemona: a play about a handkerchief” and James Ijames’ “Fat Ham,” the 2023 winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Drama. Plays that are “in conversation with” the canon, plays that call into question the social assumptions underlying canonical stories. This is perhaps a kind of “fan fiction” which both expands, and sometimes subverts, the original and, at the same time, keeps it relevant.

BALTHAZAR, more than any other play I’ve written, is a play of ideas, and it is a play informed by my own journey as a woman in law, by my evolution as a scholar of women and the law, and by my own recognition of the importance to me of both my feminine and masculine sides. Q

Playwright Debora Threedy taught law at the University of Utah for 30 years and has previously premiered six plays at Plan-B Theatre. Her latest, BALTHAZAR, receives its world premiere at Plan-B February 15–March 3, 2024. Tickets and more info at planbtheatre.org/balthazar/

What we anticipate with high expectations, along with our disappointments Is it wrong to hope that all queer films can thrill us like ‘Call Me by Your Name’?

BY BLAIR HOWELL

BIG SCREEN In Femme, “a savagely sexy queer erotic thriller’” set in London’s drag scene, Jules is targeted in a horrific homophobic attack that destroyed his life and career. He encounters an attacker in a sauna. And he wants revenge. Might just be spring’s sleeper LGBT hit.

 Limited theater release, March 22

Directed and co-written by Ethan Coen, the comedy caper Drive-Away Dolls follows Jamie, an uninhibited free spirit bemoaning yet another girlfriend breakup. With her demure friend Marian, she embarks on an impromptu road trip. Things then quickly go awry when they cross paths with inept criminals.

 Theaters, Feb. 23

CONCERT Broadway leading man Jeremy Jordan (Newsies, The Last Five Years, Bonnie & Clyde) brings Kara Lindsay (Newsies, Wicked) and Jessica Vosk (Wicked, Fiddler on the Roof) to Salt Lake for Encore: A Musical Review. We’ll enjoy hits from Wicked, Les Misérables, Newsies, and other classics, while stories are shared from their careers.

 The Eccles, March 9, arttix.org

THEATER As one of the state’s most frequently performed musicals, The Scarlet Pimpernel is embraced by Utah audiences. Less well-known is Frank Wildhorn’s Bonnie & Clyde, but the recent West End revival ignited its popularity. While I loathe Jekyll & Hyde (on the DVD adaptation, David Hasselhoff is goddamned godawful), I’m anxious to see Bonnie

& Clyde again, after its Utah Rep regional premiere. The score is “an appealing patchwork of Americana: blues, gospel and fiddle-filled rockabilly” — New York Daily News  Pioneer Theatre Company, Feb. 23 – March 9, tickets.pioneertheatre.org

A FIRST At age 31, Giselle Byrd is executive director of the Theater Offensive, one of the nation’s oldest and most decorated queer hubs of performing arts. She becomes the first Black trans woman to lead a major American theater company. The Boston troupe will be placing a greater emphasis on “presenting art created for and by queer and trans folks of color,” as Byrd maintains.  thetheateroffensive.org

I PROTEST Maestro begins when Leonard Bernstein meets wife-to-be Felicia Montealegre and ends at her death. Explain how can the film be called a Bernstein biopic, please. We see Lenny’s homosexuality in Netflix’s awards season pony, but it’s not nearly fully explored, or is her partial acceptance of his duality — as if Maestro was helmed by a man struggling to define himself. Noted that Bradley Cooper red carpets with his mother.

 In theaters and on Netflix

Saltburn is labeled a gay thriller. And director Emerald Fennell says it’s “undeniably about same-sex desire.” But is Barry Keoghan’s Oliver gay? You must agree it’s not nearly clear. Though we love his (spoiler alert) nude joyful celebratory dance through the castle at the film’s conclusion.

 In theaters and on Prime

Fellow Travelers was touted as an American historical romance political thriller. The romance was steamy — in a soap opera/telenovela sort of way.

 On Hulu

GROWING A fun social group for LGBT persons and straight allies interested in gardening is the Alternative Garden Club. The range of topics at its mostly summer meetings have ranged from new tomato varieties, to historic landscaping, to chickens and beekeeping.

 utahagc.org/clubs/altgardenclub and on Facebook

REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

‘Blood Sisters’

BY VANESSA LILLIE, C.2023, BERKLEY, $27, 384 PAGES

It’s the truth. Scout’s honor.

Pinky swear. Spit on your palms or prick your fingers, and shake hands. As a child, you had many ways to show that you intended to keep a promise when you made it, and your word was your bond, but you’ve grown up. Today, you cross your heart, but, as in the new novel “Blood Sisters” by Vanessa Lillie, you hope no one has to die. She wasn’t looking for skeletal remains. For Bureau of Indian Affairs archaeologist Syd Walker, such a find was very unusual but not unknown. Odd things happen during geological surveys on tribal lands everywhere. Still, the gruesome recovery in Rhode Island wasn’t top on Syd’s mind.

She’d gotten a call that her sister, Emma Lou, was missing in Oklahoma.

Again.

Fifteen years before, as Syd, Emma Lou, and Luna, whom they’d considered a sister, were chilling in Luna’s family’s trailer, a group of men broke in. Wearing masks, the “devils” killed Luna and her parents, and the small town of Picher was never the same.

Neither were Emma Lou or Syd.

As a member of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma, Syd was

q scopes

FEBRUARY

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20—April 19

Knowledge is power, but incomplete knowledge is corruption. Learn the facts and act appropriately. A subjective viewpoint will cause commotion. Create some distance from others and work on yourself. While it isn’t easy to avoid a conflict, it is possible that a fabricated crisis will go away on its own.

TAURUS Apr 20—May 20

When remaining calm doesn’t solve a personal matter, get angry. A little passionate yelling isn’t always the answer, but it could raise questions that are being avoided, so get mad. Put trust in no one right now. The longer you wait to take action on a pressing matter, the more likely it is to create a problem.

GEMINI May 21—June 20

Work hasn’t been amazing, but a good opportunity is coming soon. Look and see if it is something you’d like. Change is not always the answer, but there are times when it is simply good to change

well aware of the problems near her hometown, the issues Native Americans had there with the BIA, and her own ancestors’ efforts to survive on land that was given and then snatched back. She also knew the fact that she had a wife at home in Rhode Island set her apart since she’d left. And drugs — too many people on tribal allotments were getting drugs too easily.

But someone wanted Syd to come home: a female skull was found in the crook of a tree with her old work badge in its mouth. Despite knowing that Syd had fled Oklahoma on purpose, her new boss at the BIA pulled strings to arrange the trip and assigned her the case.

Years ago, Syd had promised to protect Luna and Emma Lou.

One of them was already dead. The other was missing.

Was the skull a threat — or a warning?

Here is the best advice you’re going to get when you grab “Blood Sisters”: pay close attention to the minutiae. Without being a spoiler, little things mean a lot.

Unless you watch carefully, you’ll be cruising along at 200 miles an hour in a screaming run through pages and pages of barely-bearable excitement when suddenly, your brain will make that scratchy sound like a stopped record album. It’s there where author Vanessa Lillie drops three tons of TNT, right towards the almost-end of her story and whoa, Nelly. If you’re not paying attention, you may have to read the chapter multiple times to cut your “What the….?” down to a manageable level.

Yeah, this is that kind of book, the kind that’s written with authenticity, an insider’s feel, and heightened tension that’ll keep you awake. The kind that you think you know how it’ll end, and you’re wrong. For mystery lovers or thriller fans, “Blood Sisters” is the kind of book you should scout out. Q

the beat a little. Figuring out what you really want is a good move at this time of the year, so go for it.

CANCER June 21—July 22

What you feel about another person is likely to get back to them. This could lead to a very explosive moment for better or worse. Whatever the case, act accordingly and see if you can find good in the situation. You may end up having a better time than expected, especially if romance becomes involved.

LEO July 23—August 22

Your mind is like a pool of ideas swimming rapidly. Nothing seems to come together, so it might be time for a break. Stop everything and prioritize. Don’t forget to add a little fun to the mix. Working on a project drives you crazy, so be sure to address what is bothering you the most. Don’t lose sight of joy.

VIRGO August 23—Sep 2

The higher the structure, the more likely it is to fall. Keep grounded when dealing with a personal matter. Much of what troubles you have nothing to do with others but something you are insecure about. Hold tight to something that

provides comfort and find value by accomplishing something.

LIBRA Sept 23—October 22

Others are trying to distract you, but it’s not working. You are feeling good right now to be held back. A steep climb seems to be ahead, but you are getting over it fine. Someone close to you needs help, so be there to support. Learn all the facts first. Bad advice can come even from the best of intentions.

SCORPIO Oct 23—Nov 21

What is tearing you apart is actually a good thing. Something will help you reconstruct life in a good way. There are sometimes no good solutions, but in this case, a hidden blessing is bound to come to fruition. Don’t fear the warnings of others, but take them into account. You do know best.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov 22—December 20

Mind your own business and keep clear of a situation that doesn’t concern you. There is love in the air, and that should be on your mind. Someone you are involved with is expecting a surprise, so make it a good one. The more you try to catch this person off guard, the more likely you will succeed.

CAPRICORN

Dec 21—Jan 19

A problem shows itself in the form of a financial crisis. While it might not seem prudent to address, a sense of urgency should not be ignored. Don’t worry, though, because everything is bound to turn out well in the end. Invest in something you really believe in, and good things are to come soon.

AQUARIUS Jan 20—Feb 18

Find a partner and do some dancing because you are getting restless. Now is the time to get out there and show off your stuff. The most fun is to be had in a social situation or club. Friends will need some cheer and fun, and you provide that without even trying too hard. It is your time, Aquarius!

PISCES Feb 19—Mar 19

Something long desired has arrived, and not quite what was expected. Even so, taking a step back will reveal the gains are better than you could have hoped. Enjoy the success, but do not take it for granted. While there is no standard by which to judge it, satisfaction is guaranteed. Be happy! Q

Maestro

ACROSS

1 Where to put money in drawers

5 Rap sheet item

10 Deep throat clearer

14 Personal lubricant ingredient

15 Rimbaud’s room

16 Seasoning for Rick Rodgers

17 DVD recording software

18 Get the cappuccino foamy

19 Ian McKellen and Elton John

20 He wrote “Englishman in New York”

22 Start of a quote by 4-Down

24 Inside tongue?

26 No-tell motel meetings

27 Heartthrob’s fan

30 Be a breeder

31 More of the quote

36 Shakespeare’s Puck, e.g.

37 Forest feline

38 Lily for Colette

39 Untouchable head

41 Zip

42 Items on hand

44 Behind

46 Murdoch with a flower?

47 Dog that Elroy Jetson stroked

50 Gave an edge to

52 End of the quote

58 Neighbor of Mass.

59 Give the slip to

60 ”Village Voice” honor

61 Shake it or break it

62 Moliere comedy, with “The”

63 Bone in a limp wrist

64 Secretary of Transportation Buttigieg

65 Hagar’s dog

66 “Dawson’s Creek” type

DOWN

1 Enjoys South Beach

2 Line from “Rent”?

3 “Gun Shy” author Lake

4 Bernstein, subject of the movie “Maestro”

5 They go at the bottoms of letters

6 One to ten, e.g.

7 “___ My Heart in San Francisco”

8 Word on a drag queen’s bottle

9 Most hard to get to

10 Ore tester

11 Top choices?

12 Plumed wader

13 High places with flat tops

21 Spanish painter, with “El”

23 Sexual desire, e.g.

25 Fruit handler

27 Opposed to, to Gomer

28 Rounded top

29 “My bad”

30 Benefit

32 Longtime lesbian couples may do this

33 Place for Pee-wee’s Mr. Window

34 River to the Seine

35 Takes advantage of

40 “Hope is a ___ invention” (Dickinson)

42 Singer Fure

43 What you shouldn’t have to do in the closet

45 Letters in cyberspace

46 Dildo, e.g.

47 Protector of k.d. lang and Janis Ian

48 Got to second base, perhaps

49 “God loves everybody,” to Mychal Judge

51 More queer, but not less straight

53 Precious stones

54 “Brothers & Sisters” producer Ken

55 Type of seaman

56 “Come here often?” is one

57 Jack portrayer Hayes

mmunity groups

BUSINESS

LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapists Guild

 lgbtqtherapists.com

* jim@lgbtqtherapists.com

Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce

 utahlgbtqchamber.com

* info@utahgaychamber.com

Utah Independent Business Coalition

 utahindependentbusiness.org 801-879-4928

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

YWCA of Salt Lake

 ywca.org/saltlakecity

322 E 300 S 801-537-8600

HEALTH & HIV

Planned Parenthood

 bit.ly/ppauslchiv

654 S 900 E 801-322-5571

Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic

610 S 200 E, 2nd Floor

Walk-ins M—F 8a—5p Appts 385-468-4242

UAF Legacy Health

 utahaids.org

150 S 1000 E 801-487-2323

Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p

477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250

HOMELESS SVCS

VOA Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages

15—21

880 S 400 W 801-364-0744

LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Weds 6—7:30pm Utah Pride Ctr probono@law.utah.edu

POLITICAL

Equality Utah

 equalityutah.org

* info@equalityutah.org

376 E 400 S 801-355-3479

Utah Libertarian Party

129 E 13800 S #B2-364 libertarianutah.org 866-511-UTLP

Utah Stonewall Democrats

 utahstonewalldemocrats.org

 fb.me/ utahstonewalldems

RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church

 firstbaptist-slc.org

11a Sundays

777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921

Mt. Tabor Lutheran Church

10:30a Sunday worship

175 S 700 E 801-328-0521

 mttaborslc.org

Sacred Light of Christ

 slcchurch.org

823 S 600 E 801-595-0052

11a Sundays

SOCIAL

Alternative Garden Club

 utahagc.org/clubs/ altgardenclub/ 1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  facebook.com/ groups/1to5clubutah

blackBOARD

Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org

blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM

Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org

OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian Sisters)

 bit.ly/owlsutah

qVinum Wine Tasting

 qvinum.com

Seniors Out and Proud  fb.me/soaputah

* info@soaputah.org

801-856-4255

Temple Squares Square Dance Club

 templesquares.org

801-449-1293

Utah Bears

 utahbears.com

 fb.me/utahbears

* info@utahbears.com

6p Weds SL Coffee Break, 430 E 400 S Utah Male Naturists

 umen.org

 fb.me/utahmalenaturists

* info@umen.org

Utah Pride Center

 utahpridecenter.org

* info@utahpridecenter.org

1380 S Main St

801-539-8800

Venture OUT Utah

 bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah

SPORTS

QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club

 quacquac.org

* questions@ quacquac.org

Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League

 bit.ly/slgoodtime

Stonewall Sports SLC

 fb.me/SLCStonewall

 stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com

385-243-1828

Utah Gay Football League

 fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague

Venture Out Utah

 facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah

SUPPORT

Alcoholics Anonymous

801-484-7871

 utahaa.org

LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, All Saints Episcopal Church, 1710 Foothill Dr

Tues. 7p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 1159 30th St , Ogden

Wed. 7p Bountiful Men’s Group, Am. Baptist Btfl Church, 1915 Orchard Dr, Btfl Fri. 7p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E

Crystal Meth Anon

 crystalmeth.org

USARA, 180 E 2100 S Clean, Sober & Proud Sun. 1:30pm

Leather Fetish & Kink Fri. 8:30pm

Genderbands

 genderbands.org fb.me/genderbands

LifeRing Secular Recovery

801-608-8146

 liferingutah.org

Weds. 7pm, How was your week? First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E

Sat. 11am, How was your week? First Baptist Church, 777

S 1300 E

LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapists Guild

 lgbtqtherapists.com

* robin@lgbtqtherapists.com

YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr

 encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether

91 W 200 S, Provo, 190 S 100 E, St. George 331 S 600 E, SLC

Gay-Straight Alliance Network

 gsanetwork.org

OUT Foundation BYU

 theout.foundation

 fb.me/theOUTfoundation

Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+

 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center

 lgbt.utah.edu

200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409, M-F, 8a-5p 801-587-7973

USGA at BYU

 usgabyu.com

 fb.me/UsgaAtByu

Utah State Univ. Inclusion Ctr

 usu.edu/inclusion/ Utah Valley Univ Spectrum

 linktr.ee/spectrumqsa

 uvu.edu/lgbtq/

* lgbt@uvu.edu

801-863-8885

Liberal Arts, Rm 126

Weber State University LGBT Resource Center

 weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter

Shepherd Union Suite 323 Dept. 2117

801-626-7271

Westminster Student Diversity Center

Bassis 105, M-F 8a-5p

 bit.ly/westdiversity

deep inside hollywood

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

WNBA legend Sue Bird scores at Sundance

Women’s sports power couple Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe are about to be the toast of the Sundance Film Festival. Director Sarah Dowland’s documentary about Bird, “Sue Bird: In The Clutch” hits the fest in January and explores the 21-year-long career of the basketball legend. In that time she’s earned her place as the most successful point guard ever and won five Olympic gold medals along the way. The non-fiction film follows Bird as she prepares to take a step into the great unknown of retirement from the sport (and, let’s be honest, lots of potentially amazing opportunities for her second act) hand in hand with the delightfully outspoken Rapinoe. We’ll be looking for this one to drop into queer film festivals and a certain theatrical/streaming distribution deal later in the year.

Queer ally Will Ferrell hits the road

Comedy writer Harper Steele was one of the people on “Saturday Night Live” you didn’t see. As staff writer for 13 years (head writer for four of them), they collaborated with rising star Will Ferrell and, after Ferrell’s departure from the series, the pair remained close friends. Now Ferrell and Steele’s project, “Will & Harper,” directed by Josh Greenbaum (“Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar”) is set to hit the Sundance film festival and tell a story of friendship and transgender visibility. After Steele came out as a trans woman, the two decided to document a cross-country road trip and explore the bonds that exist and are strengthened between queer people and

their close non-queer friends, especially among older friends who may have spent decades settling into comfortable ways of being with each other. Keep your eyes out for this one as it finds its way onto non-festival viewing platforms.

‘Ponyboi’ set for Sundance bow with Dylan O’Brien

The 2023 documentary “Every Body,” a welcome and necessary

depiction of intersex people – a community within the queer world that gets very little attention — and the ways their lives are challenged by the medical establishment throughout history, featured a forthright and charismatic young filmmaker named River Gallo. Now, Gallo’s short film project “Ponyboi,” has been adapted as a narrative feature and is set to make its debut at the Sundance Film Festival. Directed by Esteban Arango (“Blast Beat”) and written by Gallo, it’s the story of an intersex sex worker on the run from the mob and stars its creator alongside “Teen Wolf” star Dylan O’Brien, “White Lotus” star Murray Bartlett and “Pose” alum Indya Moore. No word on larger distribution yet, but the supporting cast’s relatively high profile should make that an easy bet. And in the meantime, “Every Body” is available to watch on all the major platforms, so go catch up.

‘Cats’ is back and it’s giving ballroom

“Cats” was the toast of the musical theater world in the early 1980s, winning awards and breaking box office records with a show that nobody had ever dreamed of. And then it ran and ran and ran, became beloved, became a joke, and ultimately became a flop of a movie that became its own joke and meme-factory. That’s quite a journey. But it’s not done yet. “Cats” is back for 2024, on stage where it began, in a bold new reimagined package. “Cats: The Jellicle Ball,” will take the bones of the original and amplify what queer audiences already got: the vogueing energy of it all. Choreographed by Arturo Lyons and Omari Wiles, and directed by Zhailon Levingstone and Bill Rauch, the new take is set in the Harlem ballroom scene of the 1980s and 90s and plans to give “immersive competition… club beats… and an edgy eleganza makeover that moves the action from junkyard to runway.” In other words, subtext has become text and queerness has won. All you butch queens have about six months to get your lewk together for its New York run in June at the Perelman Arts Center. Q Romeo San Vicente is on his 7th life.

the perils of petunia pap smear

Another tale from the Big Gay Fun Bus

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road to Wendover is fraught with danger and excitement.

With the very last of the Big Gay Fun Buses announced, I’m feeling a little verklempt that this fabulous era is coming to an end. Damn, the economics of it all!

Many, many years ago, as I recall, it was most likely shortly before the Revolutionary War, Michael Aaron asked if I would like to help call bingo on the bus. What fun! What adventure! What an opportunity for me to get car sick! In the early years when I first began helping with the bus, as soon as we would arrive at the Montego Bay Casino, we queens would immediately rush to the upstairs restroom and change out of drag, believing that casino security would not want our real faces obscured for facial recognition purposes and that our lives just might be in danger from slightly drunken red-neck gamblers.

After a couple of years of this routine, my drag sister Cherri Bombb began driving the fun bus while in costume. She dared me not to change clothes when I arrived and to stay in costume the whole time. With much trepidation and anxiety, I did as she suggested and did not change clothing. So, there I was, standing in Montego Bay, in front of God and everybody, complete with wig and lighted blinking breasticles. I received many stares, with a couple of people shaking their heads in disbelief. As I began moving about the casino playing floor, I kept looking over my shoulder, expecting at any moment to be escorted out by security. I continued on the move, thinking that it would be more difficult for them to catch a moving target. Nevertheless, when you’re a plus-sized, gravitationally enhanced drag queen such as myself wearing a two-foot-tall pink beehive wig and eighteen-inch lighted breasticles, it’s as difficult to blend into the crowd as trying to conceal the Hindenburg in a sub-compact car parking lot.

I harbored much fear and apprehension as we promenaded around the

casino, expecting at any moment to be accosted by some homophobic neanderthal. Much to my immense surprise, the most common comment that I heard from the public was from obviously red-necklooking guys who would come up to me and ask if I had lost a bet. My response was, “This is what happens to you when you lose all your money at the blackjack table, and you have to (work the streets) to get home.” Their response was usually, “Holy Hell!” Other red-neck-looking guys would come up, wife-in-tow, to ask for a photo. For the wife, of course, not him.

After we had been cavorting around the casino floor for about an hour, often pausing to pose for photos with the gamblers, my fears came to fruition. I suddenly felt a very determined tap on my shoulder and heard a deep bass voice say, “Excuse me, ma’am.” I thought to myself, “This is it. I’m going to be detained. It’s my worst fear to be arrested while in costume.” How will I be able to cope sitting in a holding cell with a bunch of drunken gamblers? Are circumstances like this where prison rape fantasy stories originate?

I fervently hoped that whoever touched me might be attempting to heal their abysmally inadequate fashion sense by touching the hem of my dress. You know, sort of like Jesus!

I quickly spun around, to face my challenger. My right breasticle almost skewered him. I found myself standing with my breasticle pressing up against a security badge worn by a very large, intimidating, muscle-bound, (not to mention extremely handsome) security guard accompanied by a casino floor manager. Not wanting to be accused of resisting arrest, and thereby giving them reason to tackle me to the floor, I held my hands out, so they could put handcuffs on me. I was filled with dread, as chrome handcuffs would clash greatly with the rest of my outfit. Shockingly, they didn’t slap handcuffs on my wrists but instead, the floor manager reached out and shook my hand saying, “Thank you

so much for being here. You add a lot of glamour and excitement to our festivities.” I was completely dumbfungled!

Well, I simply couldn’t believe this sudden turn of events. This changed everything. I’m not really a gambler so my main motivation in Wendover is to attend the buffet. I looked at my watch and realized that the buffet would not open for another hour. My stomach gave a tremendous growl. I set my alarm to notify me when it was time. So, in the meantime, like the Pied Piper, I led a small entourage across the street to the Nugget atrium and played Cards Against Humanity until the buffet opened. Finally, my alarm went off and the time had arrived that the buffet should be delivered. Quickly, I headed directly for the buffet, which has always been the absolute highlight of my Wendover excursions. As it so happened, I believe I may have knocked over a couple of old ladies and run over a small child in my haste to get into the buffet before they ran out of food. Since this was my very first time going to the buffet in costume, upon sitting down in the buffet with a huge plate of food in front of me, it became readily apparent that my breasticles were greatly in the way. By necessity, I needed to “airplane” all my food around my breasticles just like a baby.

This story leaves us with several important questions:

1. If I breathed in enough helium, could I become a blimp?

2. If I put breasticles and a beehive on The Goodyear Blimp, could I use it as a body double?

3. Might my blinking breasticles function as aircraft navigation lights?

4. Am I the Jesus of the fashion world now?

5. Should I engineer some eating utensils into my breasticles for the buffet?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q