Ooze

HOW THE FIRST DECADE OF THE XXI SHALL BE REMEMBERED w

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How The First Decade Of The XXI Shall Be Remembered

The whole magazine is designed by a person with no experience in magazine design, which means there may be mistakes in the articles; some of the articles include sentences taken from other authors’ articles, although they’re changed and adopted to the topic. All images in this magazine were found using Google Image Search, they are free to non-commercial use. I also might have not mentioned some things the reader would consider worth mentioning, the reason for that is limited page number of the magazine and my imagination, experiences, sources and etc. The opinions expressed by the Ooze magazine are it’s author’s alone, and do not reflect the opinions of any mentioned people or companies. Author is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the Ooze magazine. If you don’t agree with information provided in the magazine, whatsoever, maybe you live in a country with free rights and opinions, if not, well, what a pity. If any of the information above isn’t clear, read it again please. Projekt publikacji wykonany w ramach ćwiczeń w Pracowni Wydawnictw

Fonts used in this magazine: Tw Cen MT (142-16, 20-12, 10-16), News706EU (18-4, 11-11, 10-11, 9-9, 38-30), Optima (25-11, 76-48), Trajan Pro (11-11). (FONT_NAME (FONT_SIZE-LEADING))

Ooze

year it was recorded I wouldn’t even

Anton Drachuk, thy creator of the Ooze magazine

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have thought that I won’t be willing to turn that off as soon as possible in about 10 years. Tamagotchis, bubble gums with stickers, Mortal Combat, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, whether you liked it or not (how could you not though?) do mean and remind of something to the 90’s kids in the XXI century, maybe even more then went it was brand-new.

This magazine isn’t from 90’s though, but the previous statement was just to prove the point and make the purpose of this magazine clear. The 2000’s AKA the Noughties AKA the Ooze, call it any way you like, brought us loads of the compilation of great, bad, awesome, ugly stuff, from Bieber to Obama, all of that can be found in a certain place, which is this very magazine.

I’ve picked just some of many things that will most likely remind you of the good old 2000’s. Were you naughty in the noughties? I’m not Santa, I don’t care, either way, enjoy the mag!

Disclaimer

Triangles, space, deers, owls, cats and all of that combined went viral in the late noughties

Remember your older folks talking about how the grass was greener and afros funkier “back in the day?“ Well, I’ve got to break it to you, one day those words will be coming out from your lips. As generation grows old, the things they’ve witnessed in their youth years get coated with golden powder. Man, I’ve heard a “Back Street Boys“ song a couple of days ago and you know what... I couldn’t resist some weird good feelings about it, though the

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StuffAll types of trendy

are between the ages of 13 and 35 years old, with males being approximately 65% of the market.

3. Furby was a popular electronic robotic toy resembling a

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hamster/owl-like creature that was pretty much the first “must-have” robotic toy.

4. Low waist jeans made people not only learn to walk in a spe-

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cific way, but also change underwear more often (as in that kind of jeans your panties are always on display) 5. Ugg boots. Ask your nana or mama what was the deal about those in the 2000’s because I have no clue

or what’s hot was worn,

6. Environment. Everyone suddenly went concerned about it,

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talked about, just used in any way by pretty much everyone. Well, most of

“hot“ in the US, by the time it got to the third world, was

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of GMO the concern around how healthy is the food we eat has grown, so foods proved to be organic went called-for. Which

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also transformed to a big profit-making action.

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States. Anyway, here’s couple of things I picked, which

8. Instant foods. If one tells you he’s cooking something in the 2000’s - he probably means preparing some of the variety of

made quite a buzz in the OO

instant foods.

decade.

9. Doomsday. December 21st 2012 is a date known to everyone in

1. R a y - B a n Wa y f a r e r s ,

the noughties, you might forget when your cousin’s birthday

celebrity to an average teenager, the sunglasses are actually pretty cool, though really overused, but the ones with clear lens, come on people, aren’t glasses for cor-

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is, but you don’t forget when the end of times comes. Disaster

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reincarnated from hip, everyone from a

isn’t a bad thing of course, but what began with the purest

7. Following the eco-boom came the organic tendencies. Because

already a “not“ back in the

the 80’s grew super

started recycling, promoting eco-friendly everything, which intentions, eventually had grown to quite a franchise;

people. Globalization, you know. Though what was a

lenging coffee as the best work and study and so on assistant.

Some stats for you: Approximately 65% percent of its drinkers

things and flows are spread out in no time and get armies of addicts 1 To n s o f “epic“ junk

2. Energy drinks boosted market and people of the 2000’s chal-

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movies, a lot of tribute in all sorts of media and art - standard package coming with the excitement around the Armageddon.

10. “Smart” cars. Convenient, simple, stylish - very 2000’s.

11. “Crocs“. Ugly as hell in my opinion. Can’t make a constructive review on that, pardon.

12. Terrorism. One of the sad things about those years. And the war against it also is.

recting your sight? Just saying.

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Digital Cyborgs became

real deal, not a movie fantasy, even though most of cyborgs still think they’re real people

Laptops

of all could store real large music collections, you

the major technology breakthroughs of the 2000’s,

had to carry around a huge sack bigger then your-

of course the were invented earlier, but in the Ooze

self if you’d like to listen to full discography of Pink

the were made as powerful and advanced as desktop

Floyd and John Zorn on 1994 vacation. In 2000’s you

computers and affordable. A student of 2009 without a

get mp3-players - which are capable of storing and

laptop or at least a netbook - are you kidding me? All

playing digital media such as audio, images, video,

amazing things you can do on a computer - you get to

documents, which are typically stored on a hard drive,

do it in any given place at any given time. Throughout

microdrive, or flash memory. That means you can

the Noughties a laptop went from 10-inch 20GB hard

carry around a device which is capable of all sorts of

drive 1 hour battery computer (which were of simi-

enough money for a res- that took you like 10 min- is) to CD to .mp3, VHS

cool stuff with 160 GB memory (in 1999 the highest

lar capacity and longer battery life as smartphones

utes instead of 30 hours). tape to DVD to Blu-ray,

computer hard drive capacity was about 10 GB, and

in 2010) to 17-inch 320GB hard drive 10 hour battery

out there, tickets to a cin- Throughout the decade

analog broadcasting to

that seemed big as universe), and to make it sound

machines. Progress was so fast and impressive, that

ema or a VHS and finding

we stopped being able our

digital broadcasting, pay-

even better, those players are affordable to pretty

in 2007 your 2005 laptop looked like a calculator. Eo

couple of cassettes with

life without computers, phone to cell phone, books

much everyone.

Ire Itum!*

Nirvana records. In 2009

cell phones, mp3-players, to E-books, analogue

you texted her, ordered

digital cameras, PSPs

a meal online, search for

and bunch of other stuff. typewriter to printer, mail

the right movie on your

The Ooze brought us

to email, film photogra-

hard drive and down- thy transformation from

phy to digital photography

load a full discography of

gramophone record (I

and so on and so on. You

Nirvana to your iPod (and

hope you know what that

want more? Ok.

cB

“Digitalized” taurant and time to get right word to define us people from the 2000’s.

Back in 1999, the image of asking a girl from another town out for a deluxe dinner, a movie and listening to a full discography of Nirvana required at least a phone,

ro kP

oo

Cell phones went

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standards and qualities in the beginning of the 3rd millennium. Cassettes, CDs were great, but first

Ma

might be just the

Music stuck to us in new aka notebooks was one of

Photography was a privilege before the XXI century, to make photos

television to digital cable,

you had to have a camera, films, know which type of film to pick for the specific type of photo you want to take, how to adjust a camera for that, and excluding bigger cities, you had to know how to print a film and photos from it. Not in

from being a fairly

the Ooze, no! Most 21st century cameras are digital, all you need to have is a camera, all you need to know how

expensive tool used by affluent people to becoming universal and

to do is how to push the button, you don’t even need to focus on the object you want a photo of, there’s autofocus

a teenage fashion statement. The cell phone I had in 2000 did only

for you. Of course all of this doesn’t mean everyone can take good photos due to the possession of a digicam, but

two things: take and receive phone calls. Umm I’m sorry, in fact I

now photography is for anybody and it’s easy and fun and etc., that’s a fact. Not to mention camera phones, in

would only dream of it, my dad one was the one with a Motorola (in

the beginning it was like “Isn’t a phone meant for calling?“, but just a little time after that first question asked

comparison, the 2009 7-year-olds had a cell phone, iPod, laptop, iPad

while a cell phone purchase was “How many megapixels is the camera?“ Anyhow, by the year 2010 people own

and were b-word-ing about not having a 3D flat-screen). Anyhoo, the

1.5 billion camera phones worldwide and millions of digital cameras. It was during this decade, that we enabled

cell I had in 2009 could calls, take pictures, record and play videos,

the ubiquitous and effectively free ability to capture the world around us, which was sure to have had profound

surf the Web, play mp3s, play games and lots of other cool stuff a

implications on our lives. That could be revolution, or evolution, or maybe degeneration - not for me to judge,

1999 computer could even possibly do. How awesome is that?

but it has sure changed a lot. * (latin) To go, advance, proceed, travel, move along, progress

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Surf Most of the Ooze people

know more about web surfing then any other kind of surfing, in fact they can surf boards online

In the ooze so much of the typical day is taken up with writing emails, tweets, updates, text messages, chats, blog posts and the occasional longer form writing. On balance, all of that practice is making online writing better, which doesn’t mean all online writing is good. Much of it’s terrible – the average YouTube comment for an example of how bad it can get. But it’s been said that excellent writing is a matter of good thinking – if you’ve got the thinking part down, that’s most. And many of the thoughtful people are producing some great stuff on the web. The Internet wasn’t just prompting us to write more, its open structure pressured us to write in a way that’s at once more concise and flexible. One problem newspapers and magazines never could fix is that articles are assigned arbitrary lengths (not this one, no). Pay writers per word and they’ll write as many as they can. Assign a 12,000-word story and you’ll get just that, even if 1,000 are all that’s necessary (and again, that particular magazine is so not the case). Having a clear voice has grown more important on the web, where writers worry about brand-building, news sites grow interactive and blog posts resemble conversations. Some don’t regard texting and chat as writing, while others argue that they’re killing longer and more formal prose. Both notions are wrong. The informal writing we do on the web doesn’t supplant formal writing, it complements and influences it — and is influenced in return.

Besides, language is always evolving, and a more conversational English isn’t a bad thing. “Writing, when properly managed…is but a different name for conversation.” Laurence Sterne wrote that in Tristram Shandy 250 years ago. Thanks to the Internet, it’s more true now than ever.

Social networking, as various as it is, youtube, wikipedia, google - that and some other Internet monsters took our lives. Chill out, it’s not as bad as in MJ’s thriller, though it is sort of creepy if you think about how much time the Ooze folks spend clicking “Like it“, twitting, watching youtube poops, questioning Yahoo,

On the Internet decade is a long time. In 2000 era of the dot-com boom began, the Web was strictly 1.0,

and Google was just a

comparing numbers.

for itself. If anyone ever

baby. Since then people

There were only 361 milli

thought the Internet was

ish about. Alright not all at once. So here it goes:

have welled onto the

Internet users in 2000, in

something of a fad, those

Internet. You don’t actu-

the entire world. For per-

mouths have been per-

1. Google

ally realize how many

spective, that’s barely 2/3

manently silenced during

more people are on the

of the size of Facebook

the past decade, and

Internet by the end of

in 2010. From 361M to

these numbers show why.

the Ooze until you start

almost 2B is screaming

Internet equals change.

Writing has changed tremendously in the 2000’s as it stopped being just for writers, journalists or critics, but practically for anyone who is at least basically literate and has internet access. Blogging, commenting, reviewing had suddenly become everyone’s thing.

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enjoying trolling and wikiing every single thing we don’t know

is first of all a huge search engine, if you want to find pretty much anything, you

“google“ it. Google also provides us with a lot of products such as maps, translation, image search, books, fonts, blogger, gmail and a lot lot more various useful things. Google actually owns a huge piece of the Internet cake.

Throughout the decade Google has provided web surfers with diverse innovative opportunities, it’s really hard to talk about it’s role in exploring the web landscapes, so I’ll put it this way - Google is huge. Summing it all up, Google is an American multinational Internet and software corporation specialized in Internet search, cloud computing, and advertising technologies. Last sentence was from Wikipedia and that leads us to the next point.

2. Wikipedia

is a free, collaborative, multilingual Internet encyclopedia supported by the

non-profit Wikimedia Foundation. Its 20 million articles (over 3.8 million in English alone) have been written collaboratively by volunteers around the world. That’s what Wikipedia says about Wikipedia. I’ve just pulled off a classic Noughties thing - found accurate information on something in Wikipedia. Long story short, it’s basically a digital encyclopedia, but it’s really not just that, because on Wiki you can find information on things not

BTW I won’t even go deep ‘bout LOLs, LMFAOs (after which FYI was a

mentioned in any serious real-life encyclopedia, it comes in most of the world’s languages (even some dead

band named, xtrmely popular, a symbol of degradin’ music IMHO), if u

languages) and articles are not always entirely reliable.

don’t get WTF is dat, thx4attntn xoxo, AFK. ;) (C p. 9 4mo). Now seriously,

3. Youtube gathered most of the Web’s videos plus anyone could become famous ....................p.10 9

DOING THINGS

15Y AGO

...simply recording anything, uploading it to Youtube.

TODAY

LISTENING TO MUSIC

Facebook

is a major social network on the 2000’s, you’ve just met a person and want to get to know him - just take a look at his Facebook profile. Since 2004, millions of people have been giving up their personal data to the whole world and actually enjoying it, not just that, but in fact living more on Facebook then off Facebook.

You could meet people from all over the globe, share with anyone who visits your profile, gather all your photos, videos, interests in the very same place. Modern

WATCHING MOVIES

form of communication that is. Followed by

Twitter

, where you “twit“

anything that’s on your mind and share it with the world or you can follow anyone else who’s on Twitter and see what they’re up to, from your bro sitting in the next room to any sort of celebrities, or both, world with no boundaries, yay.

CHILLIN WITH FRIENDS

Skype

made telephones look

pathetic, as this program provided people with the opportunity to call (or video call) people any place with internet connection, most importantly, free of charge. In 1998 that would’ve sounded like a silly fairytale, but that became real in the Ooze. And

What we do in life echoes in eternity.”

It’s called life, John.

Activities available, just add We p u r - meaning.”

sue that w h i c h retreats from us.”

that is really cool. I mean it. Like awesomely cool.

READING BOOKS

I’d

also

like

Trolling

to

mention

, as some consider

it to be a bad things, but FUUU comics rocked the Web with all kinds of troll faces, look up Wikipedia what that all is about, on your

left I give you a comic which

reflects the 2000’s spirit pretty well.

Yes, we can.

All of this magazine’s articles are written by Anton

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Drachuk, who

isn’t even close to being a professional writer, though he really did enjoy writing and designing all this

Why so serious?”

It ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

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