RAGMAG Commitment Issue | May 2011 | Issue#12 by RAGMAG Magazine

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

http://www.facebook.com/beirutboat

ORGANIZED BY

SUPPORTED BY

VENUE

PLATINUM SPONSORSHIP

SPONSORED BY OFFICIAL HOTEL

OFFICIAL WATCH

OFFICIAL MAGAZINE

OFFICIAL INSURER

OFFICIAL COURIER

OFFICIAL OFFICIAL TV NEWSPAPER

A.M.I.A

Arab Marine Industries Association

I F P B l d g . , 5 6 t h S t r e e t , H a z m i e h , P . O . Box: 55576, Beirut, Lebanon, Tel: +961 5 959111, Fa x : + 9 6 1 5 9 5 9 8 8 8

RAGMAG | MAY 2011

18 - 22 MAY La Marina Joseph Khouy I Beirut - Lebanon

REGISTER NOW ON www.beirutboat.com and: • Explore the world’s leading yacht brands on display • Discover the latest marine accessories • Enjoy exciting concurrent events THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

cultureclash

editor’s opinion

THE ART OF COMMITMENT

VISUAL UMAMI

THE ROYAL WEDDING

you + your country

YOUR HEART’S CONTENT

THE START OF SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL* POETRY

LAVISH COMMITMENT INSANITY

HADY BEYDOUN DOES IT FLAVIA CODSI

CNN’S RICHARD QUEST

INTERVIEW WITH JULIE GARWOOD

HAYDA LEBNEN

the final frontier

MEMORIES OF MY MELANCHOLY WHORES OUR EDITOR’S INNER DEVIANT

COMMIT TO LETTING GO OF ADDICTION SKOUN CAN HELP

mind, body + soul 46

HELP ME NOUR ADVICE

106

COMMITMENT ISSUES

COMMITTING YOUR ALL

108

VIRTUAL COMMITMENT

COMMIT TO YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH

SCIENCE TECH

see, speak + hear no evil

MATTHEW HUSSEY

STDS + TREATMENT

SHIATSU IN LEBANON

CINDERELLA SYNDROME

COMMIT TO A ZEN ATTITUDE

COMMERCIAL COMMITMENT HYPE

FML

112

SOUND CHECK

114

READ’EM AND WEEP

115

WATCH OUT

take me with you

116

PLAY NICE

118

MUSIC

BOOKS FILM

GAMES

brainfood

138

QUIZZ. DINGBATS. CROSSWORD. SUDOKU.

DONNING A DIFFERENT KIND OF VEIL COMMITTING FOR 5 DAYS

GENIAL LISBON TRAVEL

out +about 142

THIRD TIME IS A CHARM

BIPOD COMMITS TO CULTURE

MAY 2011 TAKING THE PLUNGE P. 88 | GOWN BY AZZI & OSTA

RAGMAG | MAY 2011

emperor’s new clothes 74 76

TWIST TIE THAT KNOT VANINA

COPYCAT

REAL LIFE RUNWAY

AISLE WORTHY FASHION

GET HITCHED A LA 2011

TAKING THE PLUNGE

GOWNS YOU’LL WANT TO COMMIT FOR COMMIT TO SARAH’S BAG OUR FASHION SHOOT

mirrormirror 62

THE SOUND OF MUSIC

TRULY CHARMANTING

THE HABTOOR GRAND ELIXIR SPA GET YOUR COMMITMENT FACE ON

eat, drink +be merry

mon amour, mon ami

124

GUSTAV’S COMMITMENT TO INNOVATION

IT’S IN THE STARS

126

COMMIT TO PERFECTION

THE RACE IS ON

128

ON THE VINE

THE BIG COMMITMENT

130

RESTAURANT REVIEW

132

PROPOSE IN GOOD TASTE

136

CHOCOLATE COMMITMENT

WEDDING CAKE EXPERTISE CHEF CHRISTIANE TRILCK

NAJIB MOUTRAN COMMITS TO VINO EAU DE VIE RECIPES

BEIRUTRESTAURANTS.COM

CELEB COMMITMENTS BEATING COMMITMENT ISSUES UNBRIDESMAID-LIKE BEHAVIOR

for him 34

ONE QUESTION FOR COMMITMENT RAMI SALAMÉ

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

MOSCATO ROSÉ by villa jolanda PRESENT

ENTER THE DRAW WITH EVERY BOTTLE PURCHASED 6

RAGMAG | MAY 2011

WWW.DREAMLOTTERYLEBANON.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL: +961 70 779 669

publisher’s letter

Hello RAGMAGGERS! Welcome to our 12th issue. We are celebrating it with what I would assume is one of the most intense topics for the 21st Century. The COMMITMENT ISSUE! Here at RAGMAG we felt the need to join the trend and celebrate long life commitment. Should be easy enough I guess, or you would think that! Whilst planning for it, we discovered that most of us had issues with the C word, for various different reasons. Some of us stuck to the traditions and others didn’t think that Commitment should be measured with vows and white trimmings. So we decided to do it the RAGMAG way and introduce to you a bit of everything to show individuality in the way we show commitment. I hope that you have enjoyed being a part of RAGMAG this past year. Thank you for your constant support. Keep your letters flowing to us to publisher@ragmaglive.com and tell us what you think on a regular basis. Please check out our constantly updated website at ragmaglive.com

Gina Gabriel El-Fady Publisher

FASHION SHOOT MAKING OF PHOTOGRAPHY BY SAMY HARB CHECK OUT THE VIDEO MAKING OF ON OUR FACEBOOK PAGE

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

Publisher

Gina Gabriel El-Fady Editor in Chief

Fida Z Chaaban Creative Lead

Odette Kahwagi Managing Director

Georges Yarack Photograhers Christian Harb Odette Kahwagi Jason Zamora Samy Harb

Selected images Shutterstock

Stylist Jony Matta Fashion Set Direction Alexandra Kahwagi Sales Representative Magda Nassar Public Relations Coordinator Lea El-Alam Marketing Advisor Daniella Tayar Admnisitrative Coordinator Teddy Younes Printed by Raidy Printing Group RAGMAG is a division of Raycon s.a.l. Copyright RAGMAG 2010 All Rights Reserved.

Contributors Maher El-Alam Stephanie Aoun Elodie Barakat Bryan Borzykowski Jonathan Cainer Amal Chaaban Youmna Chagoury Rabih Feghali Alice Hlidkova Sarah Hourany Matthew Hussey Leslie Iddison Maria-Elena Kassab Khaled Kara Imogen Kimber Chris Lambert Sabina LLewellyn-Davies Maha Majzoub J.E.N. Nour Obaji Richard Quest Aline Rahbany Rami Salamé Adam Volk

Media Representative RAGMAG Alex Gabriel Building Rue Colomn de Sahel Sahel Alma Keserwan Tel 09 916 222 / 09 913 777 magda.nassar@ragmaglive.com lea.elalam@ragmaglive.com Distributor Lebanese Distributor Company Hamra, Axa Middle East bldg. Tel 01 368 007

ON OUR COVER PHOTOGRAPHY CHRISTIAN HARB MODEL JANINA HOLESOVSKA | NIDAL’S AGENCY HAIR ROGER GABRIEL STYLIST JONY MATTA

Opinions expressed are based solely on personal opinion and expericence, not reflective in any way of RAGMAG, a division of Raycon s.a.l.

SUBSCRIBE TO

SPECIAL SUBSCRIPTION OFFER Per Issue 10,000 LBP 6 Issues 50,000 LBP 12 Issues 100,000 LBP

RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Contact us by phone or email to arrange your subscription subscriptions@ragmaglive.com Lea El-Alam 09 916 222 / 09 913 777 RAGMAG Alex Gabriel Building, Rue Colomn de Sahel Sahel Alma, Keserwan

editor’s letter

the

COMMITMENT issue Because RAGMAG promises to keep it coming

Static, static static… The April issue was a bit tough to pull together since it featured interviews that spanned Lebanon, Canada, the US and even Malaysia! Ironically, we were anything but static for the static issue. You loved the first of our men’s power series so keep on the lookout for the next one. We reiterate our promise to keep giving you the content you love in an innovative format. We’re committed to you, RAGMAG readers! This issue is basically our guarantee in writing; the Commitment issue is a pact that we intend to keep. With that in mind, we wondered about commitments to others and more importantly, commitments you make to yourself. In this issue we explore committing to your sexual health in Mind Body + Soul, commitment phobia in Mon Amour Mon Ami, and the science of commitment in Final Frontier. I also moonlighted on the bridal shoot for Blush magazine’s summer issue (as you can see by my picture) to really get into the mood for this issue. Brides, for the best in commitment fashion, check out Blush magazine online. Blush team, thanks for the shout out! I think we all agree that RAGMAG is pretty free-spirited, so we sought out some people who could give us a different outlook on commitment. I spent a couple of days chilling with Hady Beydoun, Lebanon’s tattoo and airbrush specialist, so he could give us his take on the permanence of both relationships and the ink that it inspires. We also tracked down Liliane Assaf, Lebanon’s Blog Aggregator. She’s the most committed person on the Leb web and does a great job keeping tabs on the blogging community here in Lebanon. We thought that kind of dedication shouldn’t go

unnoticed so beginning in our June issue you’ll find her picks for top 3 Lebanese blogs each month. For those of you intending on making the big commitment, the M- word, we’ve explored some different options for bridal garb and accessories. Eschew the conventional and try our picks on for size. Join me in extending congratulations to both of RAGMAG’s brides to be, our PR Coordinator Lea El Alam and our Marketing Advisor, Daniella Tayar. They’re both getting hitched but (sorry grooms!) I think their commitment to RAGMAG still comes first. I’m committed to answering all of your emails so tell me what you liked and what you didn’t letterstotheeditor@ragmaglive.com Follow me on Twitter @fidachaaban

Fida Z Chaaban

Editor in Chief

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

letters to the editor

JOIN US ON FACEBOOK AND SCRIBBLE ON OUR WALL TO WIN, WRITE TO US LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR@RAGMAGLIVE.COM OR TWEET US ON TWITTER @RAGMAGLEBANON! “I LOVE HOW YOUR MAGAZINE BECAME THE GO TO SPOT FOR EVERYTHING HIP IN BEIRUT. GREAT JOB!” FAWAZ AL OTAIBI VIA EMAIL “@RAGMAGLEBANON GREAT ARTICLE ON SILWAN IBRAHIM. GOT 2 OF HIS PAINTINGS, BUT DON’T HAVE PLACE TO HANG MORE PAINTINGS AT HOME ANYMORE!” @ARABEAR VIA TWITTER @Arabear We’ll pass on the great compliment to Maha Majzoub, our contributor. You’re heading to The Spa at the Four Seasons Beirut for being the first Twitter comment!

The cast of Nagy Souraty’s play “Post-Fight Dissonances” posing with an article about their performance in RAGMAG Old Vs. New issue. For being an arts supporter and commenting on this pic on our Facebook page, Nadine Maalouf is heading to The Spa at the Four Seasons. Have fun, Nadine!

Jelena Guzvica seems to be feeling pretty tropical with her copy of the March Royal issue. We love it, Jelena! Zeina Oneissi is chillin’ with her copy of the March Royal issue. Thanks for the picture Zeina, you’ll be visiting The Spa at The Four Seasons Beirut for a new Sodashi treatment!

The Spa at The Four Seasons Beirut is rewarding our readers this month! Check out what they won! Follow the Four Seasons Beirut on Twitter @FSBeirut Sodashi Crystalus Massage – 90 minutes A sensory experience designed to influence mind, body and spirit using ancient Australian healing stones and crystals. Through the power of massage and intention, the vibrations of the Australian honey myrtle, fragrant agoins and spike lavender resonate deeply, bringing relaxation, rejuvenation and harmony. Sodashi Thermal Infusion Facial – 90 minutes This is an intensive boost using many of nature’s vitamins and minerals. Sodashi’s exclusive warm infusing mask will maximize penetration of these essential vitamins and minerals into the deep layers of the skin. This ultimate facial indulgence is tailored to your skin needs, whether to purify and deeply cleanse or to nourish, leaving your skin hydrated and toned. Restoring lost elasticity and radiance, this is more than just a facial – its nature’s face lift. Sodashi Vanilla Body Bliss – 60 minutes This highly fragrant and gentle all-over body exfoliation will soothe and calm the mind and body while revitalising and hydrating the skin. Containing the active ingredient of sandalwood powder, this treatment is a perfect tonic to relieve tired, aching muscles. Following this fragrant experience, you will delight in the aromas of vanilla and coconut infused in your skin. 10 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

SUNSET DANCE. THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

GS 11

editor’s opinion

f you recognized the title, then you know that it is taken from a Gabriel García Márquez novel. You also know that by now, when I write my op-eds, nothing is as it seems. Sometimes, with the way the world is, you have to trade something to get something. In this unlikely love story, originally printed in 2005, a nonagenarian finds something unexpected after nine decades of relative solitude. Just ten years shy of another of Márquez’ well-known novels, One Hundred Years of Solitude. Other than the fact that Márquez’ writing voice gives your social mores a good shaking, his work is velvety and rolls around in the mind like something delicious and warm. Yes, a ninety-year old man falling in love with the virgin, teenage (she’s fourteen years old) prostitute he treats himself to as a birthday gift sounds perverse. Yes, at first glance you may continue to remind yourself that things like

12 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

OPPOSITE PAGE, TOP TO BOTTOM: RIHANNA’S LATEST ALBUM, BONDAGE WARRIORS BY STEVEN KLEIN FOR VOGUE HOMMES, COURTESEY OF VOGUE HOMMES JAPAN. THIS PAGE: COLE PORTER.

that really do happen every day due to the economic stratification of many countries, Lebanon included. And yes, you struggle between admiration and outrage at the sheer ballsy nature of the plotlines that Márquez commits to paper. But why have our social sensibilities become so suffocating? Why can you not get through the book without cringing in places? Maybe you can. But I can’t. Maybe because reading Memories of My Melancholy Whores, and being an active participant in the protagonist’s evolution, kind of reminds me of myself. My commitment to indulge in my own private version of melancholy whores. No, this doesn’t mean I’ll be pulling a Love For Sale move, like Cole Porter, but we’ve all got our vices. What’s it like, how does it feel when you know you’re bad? You know what I’m talking about. Having one more drink when you’ve promised yourself to stay sober because three nights of partying consecutively is self indulgent and irresponsible. Having one more cigarette with your coffee even though your ashtray is full to the brim (yes, it’s disgusting but you love smoking), and you’re starting to develop that ugly hacking cough in the morning. Going home with that stranger, and don’t say it doesn’t happen in Lebanon because we all know this society is really conducive to one-night stands (especially in the gay community who are hopelessly regulated to fruitless hook-ups), although you know you’ll always feel gross afterward. (I have this on good gay authority: Even if you want to have a conventional relationship as a gay man, the Lebanese intolerance and hang-ups make it virtually impossible for you to do so. But I digress.) If you can’t picture yourself doing these things, then this article is not for you. You are not a temporary hedonist who struggles with your own guilt after. You don’t feel that fleeting thrill and the subsequent guilt when your sensibilities return with vigor. (They checked out for a while, there, didn’t they?) If you shop too much, if you dance too much, if you dress a certain way too often, all these things (depending on who is making the judgement call), are vices and guess what? It means you too have memories of your melancholy whores that you delight in and muse over.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

LEFT: DITA VON TEESE.

“ You look back and reflect and sometimes relish how bad you are and maybe sometimes look at yourself from a removed position in your mind and decide you are despicable. This is your conscience speaking: You have been bad. You have done the unthinkable, again. Your conscience comes from the social mores you have been programmed to process. This is bad and this is good, and then Rihanna pipes in and sings, “Na na na na, come onnnnnn,” and you agree that “it feels so good being bad” and screw the good and the rules, just for as long as the song is playing. The commitment issue you struggle with here, then one that we all struggle with, is how often can I let myself be Rihanna, and how often do I have to

14 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

be the me that I was taught to be? It is not a coincidence that this song quickly climbed the charts. Yes, it has a great hook and when you’re on the dance floor dancing to it, it doesn’t mean that you’ve made the concession to deal with the devil. What it does mean is that everyone likes being bad sometimes, no matter what form this bad takes. In Lebanon, this bad takes the form of rebelling against programmed sectarianism and the guilt that comes right along with joining someone else’s team. If you’re good, an in the box thinker, you may not necessarily agree with someone’s political platform (what is their platform anyway?), but you are swept up in the love parade, bringing me to my next point.

The Love Parade (in German it’s Loveparade) started in West Berlin before the Wall fell originally as a political statement using music as a vehicle. Electronic dance music (styles of trance, house, techno, and the like) is the exclusive music for the Loveparade and it is widely considered a hotbed for drugs, sex and a general hedonistic free for all. I haven’t been personally, but friends of mine who have describe just that: A sweaty, feel good, all day all night debacle. The debauchery astounds some and pleases others, and well, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em? Lebanon has a Loveparade too, except ours is in the form of political propaganda and sectarian ridiculousness. Just because you’re not doing drugs and having sex with strangers doesn’t mean you are good. Good doesn’t mean choosing to follow whoever happens to be representing your sect that given year (or in Lebanon’s case, generation, since it is a system of my-son-is-my-heir). If I was a good girl, I would wear blue (because I’m a Sunna) and I’ll sing all the love songs there are for Saad. I’ll traipse through the streets following the guy on the speaker and hell this is some party! It’s great, we’re being heard, we’re making our statement, right? So this sky’s the limit love, (ilsemma zar2a after all), is it by default that I gravitate towards blue? Am I brainwashed to be blue? I don’t know. I do know that I agree with our late Prime Minister’s vision and gentrification of downtown Beirut. I do know that I agree with a subtle peace policy rather than other groups, armed and dangerous, and I do know that I see Saad as a man of the people, not just Sunna people. People in general. The others colours, well, I just don’t know. Their Loveparades are more aggressive, darker, they don’t have an innocent baby blue logo? Let’s look closer at the coloured flags and your programmed pride in those flags, cause I know other groups who use them and they’re way more harmonious than a one colour (or two-colour life), if you get my drift.

LEFT TO RIGHT: BONDAGE WARRIORS BY STEVEN KLEIN FOR VOGUE HOMMES, COURTESEY OF VOGUE HOMMES JAPAN, GAY FEST PARADE IN BUCHAREST, ROMANIA, 2009.

The gay Pride Parade in Toronto, Canada, is one of the biggest LGBT events in the world. Financially strapped, the organizers each year are dealing with more and more negative publicity and the reputation of again, like the parade we just mentioned, drugs, sex and house music. Depending on who you ask, it is funny or lewd and is kind-of celebrating what may be considered their thirtieth birthday (a quick read in the Canadian Lesbian & Gay Archives will give you the full story www.clga.ca). I’ve been to the Pride Parade exactly once, opting to leave town most years since downtown Toronto doesn’t function the same for that weekend: Traffic is rerouted and it’s full of tourists. In Toronto it’s common to see the rainbow flag everywhere, all the time, not just during the Pride Parade. Most businesses (especially those in the area of Church street- the LGBT stronghold), eager to court the fickle gay community gladly put them up year round. The rainbow flag is symbolic of acceptance

of all shades and breeds (and sexual orientations), or at least that’s how I interpret it. We in Lebanon have lots of flags, but there is one in particular that you see everywhere from homes to businesses, like the gay rainbow flag. In fact, there’s a whole stretch of the Greater Beirut Area that flies that flag, happily. When you’re flying that duo-coloured flag, here in Lebanon, it means something completely different. It doesn’t have a rainbow on it that any child would love; no this two-colour thing is ominous, not fun. It’s a little on the disturbing side, since the imagery is, in my mind anyway, violent. If I were born under another colour other than blue (kind of like being born under an astrological sign) would I love that flag? Would I feel warm and fuzzy at the sight of it? Would I happily hang it up in the entry way to my office? I don’t know. I do know that I would rather go with this year’s Pride Parade theme “You Belong” than go with the Pride Parade I referred to earlier since the angry 2 colour flag screams: You

Don’t Belong. I can’t say that I would ever want to be born under that flag simply because I don’t know if I would be able to choose not to go along with the propaganda. I know people born under that flag who have made that conscious decision – the decision to be bad and think for themselves, the decision to colour outside the green and yellow lines. Making the decision to fly a rainbow flag in Lebanon, not blue, not orange or magenta or puce or whatever ridiculous colour is chosen, is the decision to tell your fellow Lebanese that they belong. That we all belong. Commit to a different kind of pride this year, the one that means a unified Lebanon, under one rainbow flag. I am committing to my inner pervert, welcoming my bad side and embracing the part of me that loves all of my melancholy whores. I commit to supporting red, white and green, not just blue. I hope you decide to commit to red, white, and green too

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

cultureclash

Commitment HADY BEYDOUN’S Tramp Stamps

BY FIDA CHAABAN HADY BEYDOUN KNOWS COMMITMENT IMPLICITLY. WHEN RAGMAG WANTED TO TALK ABOUT UNORTHODOX WAYS THAT PEOPLE SHOW THEIR COMMITMENT TO ONE ANOTHER, WE WENT TO LEBANON’S VERSION OF MIAMI INK. WE SPENT A COUPLE OF DAYS HANGING OUT WITH HADY AND TALKED TO HIM ABOUT COMMITMENT, LOVE AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THINGS GO WRONG.

J “

‘JUST BECAUSE YOU BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE, DOESN’T MEAN IT’S A MISTAKE THAT YOU TATTOOED YOURSELF WITH THEIR NAME’ 16 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

ust because you break up with someone, doesn’t mean it’s a mistake that you tattooed yourself with their name,” he counters as I flip through one of at least 30 albums documenting his work. “Just like these relationships may have left an emotional scar, a wound or a fond memory, you have the tattoo. It is an outward symbol of what has happened in your life,” he explains with the philosophical outlook of a yogi. I begin to quiz Hady about his own tattoos; he doesn’t have even one dedicated to a woman? “No. I’ve tattooed a lot of my ex-girlfriends, but not with my name,” he clarifies. That’s not surprising since Hady is reputed as the best tattoo artist in Lebanon with clients from all over the Middle East. Did he love his exgirlfriends? “Yes, why not? I just never felt the need to tattoo their names on me. Probably if it would have stood the test of time I would have.”

I notice he’s done a slew of biker hearts in different sizes and colours, what does he think of them? “I suggest that one often, it’s nice,” he says simply. I’m not sure I think biker hearts are “nice” but I do think its retro-cool and kitschy. So what do people get, relationship-wise? “Everything. Names, dates, portraits, symbols.” As I look for name tattoos I am floored to see a picture of a tattoo I just saw this summer at a popular Beirut beach. I had approached the bearer and asked if he and his tattooed “Lama” were still together, as I took a closer look at the name and date etched into his upper arm. “No, I hate her. I hate her so much,” he said staring hard at me. Ohhhkay then, I nodded awkwardly. I share this story with Hady and he smiles and shrugs, “Who cares? He can get it covered if he hates her that much.” Can you get tattoos lasered off completely? Hady shows me a photo of a particularly angry looking ankle

Hady is reputed as the best tattoo artist in Lebanon with clients from all over the Middle East.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

cultureclash

“SOMETIMES PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE FOR THEM. I DON’T KNOW THEM SO HOW CAN I CHOOSE?”

and explains, “This is what happened when she got her tattoo lasered off somewhere else. I covered all this mess with this,” he says indicating another photograph of a fresh tattoo. The tattoo artist works in mixed media as well, with a large portfolio that ranges from building-sized ad campaigns, live painting performances, sculpture and functional furniture. You name it, and Hady has done it. “You know when I started in 1995 there were very few tattoo artists in Lebanon. It wasn’t really common.” His large scale, spray paint and airbrush campaigns are widely coveted, as are his commissioned private collector pieces. In his tattoo albums, I see yet another form of commitment: Depictions of countless religious symbols, excerpts

18 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

of scripture (everything from Biblical to Koranic) and odes to Lebanon in the form of flags and maps. It seems that commitment to god and country in permanent body tattoos are as popular as love stories. What does he think of this? “Everything means something to someone or else they wouldn’t get it, don’t you agree?” I don’t agree actually, mentally reflecting on the tattoos I’ve seen on the lower backs of women everywhere. The colloquial “tramp stamp” is often things like butterflies and flowers and insofar as that, I see it as a common trend, like wearing big handbags. I don’t see the deep significance and commitment in these tattoos, other than the bearer is stuck with it for life. I can bet my salary that most people tattooed with flowers can’t tell me

that the oleander bloom stands for caution. I’m also fairly certain after seeing a live, large-scale butterfly exhibition that 90 percent of women inked with that particular bug haven’t interacted with one, not willingly anyway. Lepidopterology, the study of butterflies and moths, would perhaps encourage one to have it tattooed on their lower back, but chances are not a single one of those tramp-stamped women has an expertise in the field or a deep scholarly commitment to the subject. Hady is ambivalent, “Sometimes people expect me to choose for them. I don’t know them so how can I choose?” he asks rhetorically. Agreed. Inking a tattoo of his choice on a client would be, in essence, a lifelong commitment Get Your Own Commitment Ink Mallah Center, Jal El Dib Roundabout 03689466 www.hadybeydoun.com follow him on Twitter @HadyBeydoun

INKED INCIDENTS POPULAR COMMITMENT INK GONE AWRY JOHNNY DEPP + WINONA RYDER

ANGELINA JOLIE + EVERYONE

Gypsy extraordinaire Johnny Depp’s romantic dedication, “Winona Forever”, became the drunken “Wino Forever” after the breakup of their widely publicized longterm relationship.

Partner Timothy Hutton Tattoo H Post Breakup Treatment Angelina reassigned the meaning to her brother, James Haven. Partner Jonny Lee Miller Tattoo Japanese character for Courage Post Breakup Treatment She had it covered it with “A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages”, a quote from the 1947 play “Stairs to the Roof” by Tennessee Williams.

TOMMY LEE + PAMELA ANDERSON

Partner Billy Bob Thornton Tattoo Dragon tattoo with his name and a rumoured second tattoo in the pubic area Post Breakup Treatment Angelina had the dragon lasered and reportedly covered it with geographical coordinates of her children’s origins and as for the second tattoo, it’s kind of in a private place so we aren’t sure it exits, although she has made references to it in interviews

Pamela tattooed “Tommy” on her ring finger after their quickie marriage. Tommy was a little more enthusiastic and tattooed “Pamela” on his penis. After their breakup, “Tommy” became “Mommy” (luckily they rhyme). We aren’t sure what happened to the tattoo of Pamela’s name but knowing Tommy Lee, it’s probably still there.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

visual UMAMI cultureclash

BY MAHA MAJZOUB

NIBBLING AT THE BITTERSWEET TREATS OF FLAVIA CODSI ABOVE: FLAVIA CODSI LEFT: ENTRACTE 280 x 120, OIL ON CANVAS, 1998

ou know that pleasant savory taste in certain foods, which you can’t quite pin down to a specific ingredient, but you don’t particularly care at that specific point because you’re having a semi-orgasmic moment? That’s umami, a Japanese word that has found its way into the English language in recent years. This is when glutamates and nucleotides meet, exploding in your mouth and enhancing the addictive palatability of whatever is on your plate. Delectable explosions come in other forms of course, such as the satiation of your visual cravings. Few people do it as vividly and scrumptiously as artist Flavia Codsi. She is umami for the eyes. Codsi has been sprinkling droplets of visual umami onto her

20 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

canvases ever since she first held a brush. No one taught her how to cook that up. She has never set foot in an art school nor has she had any sort of mentoring. What happens when Codsi’s technical precision meets the strength of her ideas? A meteorite – an Earthshattering optical explosion that keeps you coming back for more umami helpings. Codsi’s artwork is instantaneously likable by all age brackets and walks of life, and is recognizable by anybody with an artistic streak. She has earned standing ovations from children, artists in the making, established artists, art critics, bankers, and possibly all those in between. She attributes that to the realistic universality and humanistic relevance of her paintings.

“I use the realistic technique on my subjects because I want them to be as close to reality as possible, so the observant finds a real person and identifies with him/her, also identifying with the emotions and messages that it is trying to give,” Codsi tells me from her comfy living room, which is set in a bohemian flat in an old building squeezed between two pubs in Gemmayzeh. “I think it is because the composition and graphics are modern too. I always try to make my subjects as contemporary as possible,” says Codsi who officially secured her place in the Lebanese art scene by winning the Dorothy Salhab Kazemi prize at the Salon d’Automne of Sursock Museum in 1994. Codsi is originally an interior designer and worked in that field for several years.

Reality bites

Codsi’s distinctive realism is not to be mistaken for hyperrealism, a description she shrugs at although she respects this art school. “My aim is the idea behind the painting, as there is always a story. And it is not just a pretty picture,” she says. Anyone who describes Codsi as hyperrealist is hyper-philosophizing and just hyper-wrong. There is no room for comparison, for instance, between the nitty-gritty details in the works of big kahuna of hyperrealism Denis Peterson and the intricate details in Codsi’s pieces. Her work is real but not too real. She does not bore you to death with the details. You won’t see little hairs on her characters’ arms for example; you might see instead traces of Gustave Courbert’s rich composition or something of Wilhelm

Leibl’s contemporariness. “Realistic with a psychological twist and abstract backgrounds” is how Codsi refers to her art. Codsi treats the body with a GrecoRoman attention and leaves her modern backgrounds as minimalist as possible. “I do it on purpose because I don’t want to talk too much,” she explains. “I want the characters to talk. The backgrounds are just a stage for a play.” She places the core emphasis on the body, rarely on the faces of her subjects. Sometimes the faces are obscured and the viewer is left to concentrate on the physical movements of Codsi’s subjects. This happens in “Contre Vents 3” where a figurative gust of wind represents the internal or external struggle of Codsi’s svelte young woman with fine black hair.

“I WANT THE CHARACTERS TO TALK. THE BACKGROUNDS ARE JUST A STAGE FOR A PLAY.”

ABOVE: CONTRE VENTS 3 92 x 140 cm, OIL ON CANVAS, 2006 THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

22 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

TOP TO BOTTOM: I LOVE LEBANON, 190 x 170 cm, OIL ON CANVAS, 2010. WHILE SHE WAS SLEEPING, 310 x 90 cm, OIL ON CANVAS, 2010.

cultureclash

‘WHEN I HAVE A SKETCH AND I HAVE THE IDEA IN MY HEAD, HALF THE WORK WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE’ The nonappearance of the face is also deliberate in one of her later works “I Love Lebanon”, which scooped the first prize at the international art exhibition “Lebanese Diaspora” in March. The 190 x 170cm artwork was inspired by the July 2006 war, when most of the expatriates were visiting home and found themselves confined to shelters with no electricity, waiting to be shipped out. The painting depicts a girl bowing her head in grief as she sits against the wall on her suitcase and carries a flashlight.

Legless logic

This painting prompted in her another work of the same theme. Codsi shuffles through her stack of catalogues and shows me “No Comment”, a huge canvas that just sold at the Ayyam Dubai Auction for $18,000. It is a portrait of a young man on a wheelchair. Badly bruised, he is wearing a shirt that reads “I Love Lebanon”. But this love has led him to lose his left leg. In this case, Codsi highlights the face to show us the ironic smirk the man is wearing. There is a clear element of defiance in his stare,

as he has been reborn. This is where Codsi’s psychological twist kicks in. The man could be anyone of us, with our physical or emotional scars from the unending war. In “While She Was Sleeping” our concentration returns to the corporal positioning of Codsi’s beautiful subject, without altogether neglecting her facial features. The woman is not in repose, she appears heavyhearted by what is going on supposedly behind her back. We see in the background two tiptoeing pairs of feet – a man and a woman’s – and we are left to wonder if some sort of deception is taking place while that woman’s eyes are wide open. Codsi ushers me to the dining room where “The Girl with the Metal Piercing” occupies one of the walls. The 2010 piece is a modern rendition of Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer’s famed “Girl with a Pearl Earring”. We share a good laugh at the outcome of Codsi’s playful and crisp imagination. This is contrasted, however, by the somber look on the face of the girl with the dreadlocks.

Like many of Codsi’s subjects, this girl is not imaginary. Everybody from her husband to close artist friends to mere acquaintances has appeared on Codsi’s canvases. “Sometimes a person inspires a painting but most of the time I come up with the idea and I cast the person who fits the character,” she says. “I make the person pose in the way I envisage the painting and I take a series of photographs. From the pictures I take the best parts that suit the painting and I redraw everything life size.” After that comes the coloring. Codsi mostly uses oils, restricting acrylics to the backgrounds, and normally paints three to four layers – rarely the sketch-like two layers. Her least favorite part of the work is the retouching, arguing that “sometimes you have to have the guts to rework a certain part that looks pretty ok but it’s not the way you want it.” Codsi adds, “So you need to retouch it and you might end up doing a whole part that you hadn’t expected. If not in the right mood, you might ruin it.” For Codsi, the mental effort is more exhausting than the actual work. “A lot goes on in my mind before I start painting, so this is the more demanding part… When I have a sketch and I have the idea in my head, half the work would have been done,” she points out. I ask Codsi why we haven’t seen of late any of her solo shows, the last of which was the very successful “Fructivores” in 2007 at Aida Cherfan Gallery. “Preparing for an exhibition takes a long time,” she confides. This is compounded by the fact that her work is getting snapped up before she has the chance to put together a series under a broad theme. Right now, Codsi is gearing up for the collective show “Rebirth”, which is set for June at Beirut Exhibition Center (BEC). Whether solos or collectives, it makes no difference, as Codsi visual umami tickles our senses both ways

ABOVE: THE GIRL WITH THE METAL PIERCING 108 x 176 cm, OIL ON CANVAS, 2010

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

LEFT: BUCKINGHAM PALACE.

THE

ROYAL

WEDDING A PERSONAL REFLECTION FROM ONE OF CNN’S COMMENTATORS ON THE DAY BY RICHARD QUEST

have often wondered why I care about a family to which I am not related; that I will never know on personal or confidential terms; that has little bearing on what happens in my everyday life. In other words – why do I care about the Royal Wedding? I tried to explain this relationship to an American last week. He could hear what I was saying. He just couldn’t understand it. We were talking a different language. You see, while we wish any newlyweds all the happiness in the world, the marriage of the heir apparent and his Queen Consort-to-be has struck home with many Subjects of the Crown. The reasons go deep into the psyche of those who have been brought up under Monarchy and are content for it to continue. From our very earliest days we knew there was this woman who lived in a palace. Her face was on our money. Our stamps. She had her own song (which we sang), asking God to Save Her. And every Christmas Day after

lunch, our family would be shushed so we could watch her speak on television and collectively comment on whether she was looking older, younger, fitter, fatter –while speculating on the worth of the pearls she’s wearing. I am 49. The Queen has been on the throne all my life and then some. The knowledge that Charles will take over has been omnipresent – never really questioned except for a brief hiatus during the Diana Debacle. From the moment William was born in 1982 we knew He was the next but one. That is the way Monarchy works. Ever present. Consistent. The power of this institution to draw us back in was seen after the Queen Mother’s death (which I covered in 2002). The Palace had feared no one would show up to pay respects at her laying in state. We turned up in our tens of thousands. I was privileged to be amongst the last to walk through on the morning of the funeral. Her coffin sat, with Crown upon it, before being borne to Westminster Abbey for the

funeral service. The power of history was overwhelming. The Crown and the Abbey. It is a relationship which goes back a thousand years. The Abbey is a very special church. It is a Royal Peculiar, meaning it comes under the personal authority of the Sovereign. William’s wedding is in the sanctuary where one day he will sit on the Coronation Chair with the Stone of Scone, to be anointed King: There have been 38 Coronations at the Abbey since William the Conquer in 1066. You don’t ignore a thousand years lightly. I am not blind to the faults of this system – sometimes you get the feeling that the junior Royals are laughing at us, for the way society dotes on them. Then we see what Kate Middleton is about to take on board and ask yourself – would you really want the rest of your life to be in that gilded goldfish bowl? It is worth remembering that three of the Queen’s four children’s marriages ended in divorce because of that strain.

WHY DO I CARE ABOUT THE ROYAL WEDDING? I TRIED TO EXPLAIN THIS RELATIONSHIP TO AN AMERICAN LAST WEEK. 24 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

cultureclash Next week seen from outside, the rest of the world is witnessing the biggest reality show in the world. The wedding is the ultimate Big Brother. The logician can offer a thousand reasons why this whole business is anachronistic and unrealistic. That isn’t the point. I will watch the ceremony and feel a part of it because it continues something which has been with me all of my life. In such a way William and the British people have been related pretty much since we were both born. Yes; we can get rid of each other if either side wants rid, but for now, I will stand outside the Abbey do my duty and commentate on the event – and in so doing celebrate the wedding, not of William and Kate, but of my future Head of State

Richard Quest is CNN’s foremost international business correspondent and presenter of Quest Means Business. He is one of the most instantly recognizable members of the CNN team. In addition Quest is the established airline and aviation correspondent at CNN and presents the monthly CNN Business Traveller show. His coverage of breaking news, which has spanned two decades, has seen him report on a range of stories from the death of Yasser Arafat and the Lockerbie Pan Am 103 crash to the death of Michael Jackson. Prior to joining CNN he worked at the BBC, where he was the North America business correspondent, based on Wall Street for 12 years. Biography and image courtesy of CNN. Follow him on Twitter @richardquest

THE QUEEN HAS BEEN ON THE THRONE ALL MY LIFE AND THEN SOME. HER FACE WAS ON OUR MONEY. OUR STAMPS. SHE HAD HER OWN SONG (WHICH WE SANG), ASKING GOD TO SAVE HER.

BELOW: A YOUTHFUL QUEEN ELIZABETH II CIRCA 1947. LEFT: GREAT BRITAIN POSTAGE STAMP 1957

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

YOUR

HEART’s

CONTENT ENDURING COMMITMENTS BY AMAL CHAABAN

New York Times

BESTSELLING AUTHOR

‘

IT’S HARD TO BE HONEST WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE AND ARE GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER. A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T EXPECT LOYALTY AND THAT IS WHY I HAMMER AWAY AT IT IN MY BOOKS.

‘

Amal Chaaban talks to Julie Garwood exclusively for RAGMAG Several of your books feature heroines who have a task or objective to fulfill. Do you think women’s roles were that multifaceted within history?

WITH OVER 35 MILLION BOOKS IN PRINT AND NUMEROUS NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERS, JULIE GARWOOD HAS CLEARLY EARNED A POSITION AMONG AMERICA’S FAVORITE FICTION WRITERS. HER REPUTATION AS A MASTERFUL STORYTELLER IS SOLIDLY FOUNDED IN HER ABILITY TO DELIVER STORIES WITH APPEALING CHARACTERS, POWERFUL EMOTIONS, AND SURPRISING PLOT TWISTS. MS. GARWOOD LIVES IN LEAWOOD, KANSAS AND IS CURRENTLY WORKING ON HER NEXT NOVEL. WHEN HER SCHEDULE ALLOWS TIME AWAY FROM FAMILY AND CAREER, SHE DEVOTES HER EFFORTS TO PROMOTING LITERACY.

www.juliegarwood.com Twitter @juliegarwood

26 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

I think women had to be stronger and more creative to get anything done. It sounds bad to say that in the Middle Ages women manipulated, but they pretty much had to. They were strong, they ran the Manor but the men owned them in a way so they had to be manipulative with their husbands to get things done I think. “The Secret” explores the commitment of friendship. Frances Catherine and Judith are supposed to hate each other because one is English and one is Scottish but their bond of friendship forms early and stays true. Do you think that friends can be that committed to each other?

Oh yeah, I have had a best friend since grade school and I think women bond in a different way. I can’t imagine not

having a best friend. That is what I wanted to derive with the “The Secret” that women can forge friendships that are so enduring. Yeah, I do believe that. Do you think people commit to each other today with the same intensity of feeling as before or has commitment become disposable?

I think that it is a disposable society right now. I think that it will come around but women and men today hook up. There was an article in the New York Times called “Is Dating Dead” because you go to a party and you hook up with someone for the night. To me and granted I am older, there is no commitment there, no expectation of seeing one another the next day. To me, that is disposable. I still think true love finds a way. Relationships have changed but I think the goal of finding your soul mate is still there.

cultureclash

In “The Prize”, Nichola thinks about how nice it is that the King and Queen are in love because “In these advanced times when, the heart’s preference was placed on the bottom of everyone’s list of priorities in choosing a mate...”. Do you think that we face the same thing today? Love taken over by practicality?

No. The question is to ask “if you see three men walking down the street, you are attracted to the physical but also if you see what each is doing, there is a weeding out”. We look for usually someone who is on our same economic level; we would not go out with someone who has been married 8 times for example. There is a perimeter that we set and we are not aware that we do. It was unusual for love to enter into any kind of a contract between a man and a woman in that time. I think love still wins out here.

All of your novels have several forms of commitment running through them, friends, lovers, families, clans, and the church. Do you think we are only as strong as the commitments we make?

No. I think you are strong or you are not strong. The commitments can change. You may be doing one thing and then you realize that is not where your heart lies and you should

be doing something else. You know, friendship, which is the theme that runs through the books. Every single one of them the main attribute I write about is loyalty. That is the main thing, one of the foundations of any good marriage. As far as friendship with a sister, that doesn’t change. I look as that as a bond not as a commitment. The heroines of my stories, have to have values.

In “Ransom”, you go back to the time of King John who was known to be venial, fickle and mercurial. You show him very briefly to be still caught up in his love for Ariana even after her death. Do you think that love can extend past death?

Yes. In fact what happens sometimes, and this isn’t good, they become saints. I have a friend who lost her husband; he wasn’t such a great guy. He became great after he died. A lot of times in death they become sainted, much better than they were and that is not healthy. I don’t know if that is love or if that is holding on.

‘

I THINK YOU ARE STRONG OR YOU ARE NOT STRONG. THE COMMITMENTS CAN CHANGE. YOU MAY BE DOING ONE THING AND THEN YOU REALIZE THAT IS NOT WHERE YOUR HEART LIES AND YOU SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE.

‘

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

cultureclash

I JUST LIKE TO WRITE ‘ABOUT CONTRARY WOMEN

WHO HAVE TROUBLE WITH THEIR LOT IN LIFE, WHO WANT MORE OF A VOICE. I THINK WOMEN HAD TO BE PRETTY MANIPULATIVE TO GET ANYTHING DONE. ‘

What do you think ruins commitment between two people?

I am not sure. I think if you go in honest, that if you are honest with one another then infidelity or playing games will ruin it. It’s hard to be honest when you meet someone and are getting to know one another. A lot of people don’t expect loyalty and that is why I hammer away at it in my books. What do you think cements commitment?

Being there. Once you’re being nice is over and everything is no longer sparkly, getting down to the flaws and accepting them. In my books, the heroes always think the women they are attracted to are beautiful, not everyone else does. That is in the eye of the beholder and they become more beautiful when they see their strength, their courage and how they handle things. Do you believe that a once trust is gone, it can be regained?

I believe that it is extremely difficult. It depends how it was broken. If that

28 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

trust was broken because of infidelity, but you make the commitment to fix it then maybe. I don’t believe it is cut and dried. It is extremely difficult. “Saving Grace” is a difficult book on many levels. The heroine is an abused woman who needs to find her way back to trust, commitment and love. Did you have a hard time writing it?

The theme there was a woman’s value and back then, the Church did not value women. We were at the bottom of the list under oxen and that wasn’t made up. She finds her value, she realizes that she is strong. Yes, that was a hard book to write. I got the most responses from abused women who did read that book. For that reason, I am glad I wrote it. Some of your novels (mostly the historical ones) show a deep commitment to the Church even though the characters consistently question both the teachings and the edicts. Do you think that people were really that devoted to those teachings? Why?

Here’s the thing. The Church back then was a political entity. It was powerful and if you come forward through the ages look at the power and how the Church fought with the Kings. It was all political and about money and power. The people obeyed the priests of their parishes and there weren’t a lot of those in the Middle Ages. The very wealthy had religious had priests looking after their souls. All of the women in your novels chafe against the restrictions put on them by societal expectations. Do you think that it was like that historically speaking? Do you think that women still face many of those same restrictions but in a different guise?

I just like to write about contrary women who have trouble with their lot in life, who want more of a voice. I think women had to be pretty manipulative to get anything done. Do we fight the restrictions today? Well yeah. We want things that we should have been given. So yes, I would have a heroine against that?

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

cultureclash

THE START OF SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL* WORDS BY ALINE RAHBANY

I lay my head next to his We share a moment of silence We listen to the soundless noise Of our breaths Playing symphonies Along with that river below

30 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

We stare at the ceiling For hours, until dawn Comes creeping out From behind the mountains Reminding us about a concept Of time, we forgot about The whole night through

Sweet morning comes After a sleepless night Tripping on the scent Of his skin Drawing his picture In void space With the top of the unfinished Bottle of wine Sweet morning comes Sunrays rest on his lips And I feed on this sun

We hold hands Dive into a void ocean Balancing between its extremes Sliding from edge to edge From fears to haven Between nightmares and dreams And I wonder If the stillness inside Could last more in reality Than it does in our daydreams

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

CELEBS COMMIT, SORT OF WE’RE NOT A GOSSIP RAG, BUT EVERY SO OFTEN IT’S JUST TOO DAMN DIFFICULT TO TURN A BLIND EYE. THESE STARCROSSED AND STAR-STRUCK CELEB COMMITMENTS MAKE GREAT TABLOID FODDER AND PROBABLY WERE USED TO LINE YOUR BIRDCAGE AT SOME POINT. BIG NAMES AND LITTLE ONES, SOME OF THESE COUPLES SHOULD HAVE CONSULTED THEIR CONSTELLATIONS BEFORE DOING THE DEED. RAGMAG GIVES YOU A LOOK SKYWARD AT THE STAR LIGHT, STAR BRIGHT COMMITMENT MATCHES AND MISMATCHES.

QUICKTIME SHORTEST MARRIAGE RAGMAG thought the prize here would definitely go to Britney Spears and what’s his name that she married for a whole 48 hours but a search through the archives of the weird brought up the marriage of Zsa Zsa Gabor to Felipe de Alba in 1982. That marriage (her 8th) lasted just 24 hours and then was annulled because the paperwork divorcing husband #7 was not finalized. Ms. Gabor was better known for her marriages than she was for her work although director John Huston called her a “creditable” actress

THE ODD ONES OUT STRANGEST COUPLE When trying to choose the oddest celebrity couple, one couple really shined in this category, no contest at all. D-lister Flavor Flav (born William Jonathan Drayton, Jr.) appeared to fall in love with former model and action-movie star Brigitte Nielsen when they met on the set of the now defunct reality show VH1 reality show “The Surreal Life”. The odd couple caused quite the sensation - not just because she’s 6-foot-1 and probably has at least 75 pounds on his 5-foot7 frame but because it was the last pairing anyone ever thought to see. After the run of The Surreal Life completed, a show chronicling their relationship by VH1 was aptly titled “Strange Love”.

LOVE YOU LONG TIME MOST SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE Hands down, this one goes to uxorious Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. Prior to his death, Paul Newman celebrated 50 years with his beloved wife Joanne. Though Newman was considered the sexiest man in Hollywood for almost the entire length of his marriage, surrounded by starlets and fans, he was famously faithful to his wife and their marriage. He is quoted as rhetorically jesting, “Why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?” when asked why he never sampled the wares on offer. 32 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

mon amour, mon ami THE ELECTRA COMPLEX MOST FREUDIAN MARRIAGE Contenders a many fell into this ranking but we chose Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley. While both have royal music pedigrees (as we mentioned in March), they have little else in common. In fact, when they announced their marriage, people at first thought it was a joke, then a sham. The newlyweds insisted their love was as true as the day is long and managed to make themselves believe it for all of 18 months before they divorced in January of 1996. When later asked by Oprah about her marriage, Presley admitted the marriage was too emotionally taxing.

THE GOLDEN ANNIVERSARY BIGGEST AGE GAP The late Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall are our picks for this stomach turning category. This lovely couple met when Anna Nicole (aged 26) was stripping at a club named GiGi’s in Houston in 1991. J. Howard (aged 89) was immediately smitten with the former GUESS model, his grown children were decidedly less so. Marshall reportedly courted her, married her and showered her with gifts for two years. 13 months after they were married, Marshall died leaving her with half his fortune and a lengthy legal battle on her hands.

24 HOURS QUICKEST COURTSHIP Remember Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra? Neither did we until we started digging around for information for you dear reader. Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra married in Las Vegas after partying all night together, beating out even 4-day daters Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson (check them out in the Hady Beydoun feature this issue). Imagine everyone’s surprise when less than two weeks later, Rodman filed for an annulment, saying he was of unsound mind when he recited his vows. Electra went a step further and filed formally for a divorce shortly after. Rodman later claimed that the beautiful Electra “never got over him”. Somehow we doubt that.

BFFS FOREVER MOST AMICABLE BREAK UP Bruce Willis and Demi Moore take the cake here. When the long time Hollywood power couple split, they had 3 daughters between them and chose to continue to be friends. That in and of itself is a record for Hollywood but the real weirdness manifested when Ashton Kutcher entered center stage. As Kutcher and the former Mrs. Willis cozied up, Bruce just tagged along cool as can be on their family outings. Anyone else find it more than a little creepy that the former Mr. Demi Moore and the current Mr. Demi Moore play so well in the same sandbox? THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

one

QUESTION FOR COMMITMENT

MAN, WOMAN + PERSONAL SPACE BY RAMI SALAMÉ

“

ill you marry me?” That dreamy line from every romantic movie; that touching proposal from every climax of every love story. They make it sound so easy and so spontaneous. Like the decision to marry is a spur-of-the-moment thing. But it’s not. Any man on the brink of that decision will tell you it’s complex. The swinging between doubts, fears, and hundreds of questions: Should I marry her? Why should I marry her? Is she right for me? Ironically, all these are the wrong questions. There is really only one question to ask yourself before you make the decision. This very question was posed to me by my father when I declared my intention to get married:

WHAT MAKES YOU SURE YOU ARE READY TO GET MARRIED? 34 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

You see, guys, marriage isn’t about her. It’s about you. Marriage is a commitment to share not only a lifetime with someone, but also to share personal space. Men are territorial creatures by nature. That’s probably best exhibited in the way we urinate at public bathrooms. To put it politely, men mark the entire area. From the time they are young boys, males are already dreaming about their future “crib”. They imagine where their 50-inch TV will be. (Thanks to the world of porn and spam mail, men think in terms of “inches” all the time.) They think of the giant loveseat in the living room, the Jacuzzi in the bathroom, and the copious bar in the kitchen. In their minds, young boys have already designed the space they want to occupy as grown men. But in our part of the world, the ticket to leaving your parental nest and creating your own space is marriage. Grown men must therefore redesign their “perfect house” to accommodate their partner. The truth is that men never really own space. They only guard it. Women, on the other hand,

are the gatherers, the bearers of fruit, and the more practical of the two sexes. They understand how to utilize space. And the sacrifice begins. I used to joke that the only space I actually own in my house is the area on which I sleep. But even that is debatable. The bed-sharing deal is that I get to sleep on whatever area that is left after my wife has settled down to sleep.

for him

‘FROM THE TIME THEY ARE YOUNG BOYS, MALES ARE ALREADY DREAMING ABOUT THEIR FUTURE “CRIB”.’ That is only a fraction of the deal. A woman has a wonderful way of marking her territory. She marks it with “stuff”. There’s no other word for it. Stuff. She will own the bathroom by spreading her countless creams and skin products over any available counter. The man’s ownership of the bathroom is reduced to the area occupied by his shaving kit, and his single, solitary shampoo bottle standing next to the bathtub surrounded by her mob of hair care products. She will own the kitchen by the default, owing to a man’s instinctual fear of dishwashing. Her stuff is all over the place. Her Tupperware might fall out of cupboards when opened. You will always have to ask where the soup ladle is, because your territorial mind will tell it you it should be in the drawer while her aesthetic mind says it looks better hanging on a hook by the stove. Forks on left, spoons on the right. Don’t ask why; just know it’s for the best. She will own the living room because the plants and bookshelves are more important than your PlayStation and

your huge TV (No, your woman does not think of your TV in terms of “inches”). Her small side-lamps will cast warm shadows across the room. To her, the shadows are romantic; but to the hunter in you, they evoke those caveman nights when a group of hairy men were hiding behind a rock, hoping not be spotted by the even-hairier mammoth. She will own the bedroom. The dresser surface will hold her “stuff”. The closet will be unequally divided between her clothes and your small set of shirts. Your bedroom looks like a postwar treaty where you are the losing side. You own shoulder-space on the mattress. And, if lucky, a side table with your alarm clock on it. And a book. And every night, before you go to sleep, you will set your alarm, close your eyes, and try to recall images of the “perfect house” you never had. But to your right lies a wonderful woman, smelling like a field of lavender, smiling at you like you’ve just returned safely from a perilous journey at sea. That is your reward; your fragrant, heartwarming reward, for commitment.

Oh, before I forget. The answer I gave my father was as simple as the question: I’m willing to give up a boy’s obsession with personal space, his need for territory, for a man’s need for love and companionship

Rami Salamé is a part-time pedestrian, OCD ruminator, and eternal child. He is a Lebanese expat in Jeddah, KSA, where he is also a stand-up comedian and comedy writer by night. He is not possessed by the devil or anything. Follow him on Twitter @ramisalame Find him on Facebook @rami.comedian THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

the BY NOUR OBAJI

SWEATY PALMS? HEART PALPITATIONS? IT’S LIKE YOU JUST FINISHED THE BEIRUT MARATHON OR SOMETHING. WHAT’S GIVING YOU ANXIETY? COMMITMENT, PURE AND SIMPLE. WE’RE NOT HERE TO JUDGE, ESPECIALLY SINCE WE AREN’T SO INTO THE PICKET FENCE THING OURSELVES. RAGMAG TAKES A LOOK AT SOME OF THE SITUATIONS BOTH OUR MALE AND FEMALE READERS MIGHT FACE WHEN WARMING UP FOR THE COMMITMENT RACE. READ ON FOR THE SITUATIONS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO PUT THOSE RUNNING SHOES ON AND WHICH PAIRS SUIT OUR RUNAWAY BRIDES AND RUNAWAY GROOMS!

36 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

RACE IS ON! BEAT YOUR COMMITMENT ISSUES

mon amour, mon ami

Ready, Set, Go!

Or not. He wants to get married and you… Well, you just want to chill. If it isn’t broken then why fix it, you ask. He doesn’t get what would be so different since you already live together and share your lives. The difference is that it is way harder to get out that door once you are legally and religiously bound to one another, especially in Lebanon and this makes you afraid to sign your life away, so to speak. Your families consider you “pretty much married” and continue asking when you’re going to make it official. Every time they ask, he asks. Since you can’t see yourself having life any other way, you reason that you’ve got it good.

The Finish Line

She wants to get married. Like now. She’s been “waiting forever” (her words) and she doesn’t get what your problem is. We do: Your problem is that you think that she wants to get married because all of her friends and cousins and colleagues and the girl that works at her favorite clothing store are all getting married. She gets worse every year when spring rolls around because of those damn billboards selling all manner of wedding nonsense dotting the road on the way to Jal El Dib- they damn things are every 3 meters! You wish you could blindfold her because by the time you get to the restaurant, she has her mouth set in a thin line. You sit down and gulp your first glass of wine since the first sentence out of her mouth, “I was thinking about Sally’s wedding,”. These convos are what make you want to run for the door rather than the altar.

RUNNING SHOE OF CHOICE

Nike ‘JUST DO IT’ If you feel like you can wake up to this person for the rest of your life, every monotonous umm we mean monogamous day, then sure walk the plank, er …aisle. Seriously though, if it’s only delaying the inevitable and you plan on marrying him anyway, waiting a year or even 5 won’t give you back the independence you had as a single girl on the town.

RUNNING SHOE OF CHOICE

Reebok ‘BECAUSE LIFE IS NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT’ Like Reebok, she wants to participate. She is not a sidelines kind of girl, and your constant refusals be they gentle or firm are making her feel as though she’s being benched. Be a good coach by motivating your track star and determining whether she’s in this race just to win, or to win you. If she wants to marry you (not just get married for the sake of getting married), then you’re the problem and you can’t expect her to sit every competition out. Make your intentions clear and figure out if marriage is in the cards.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

mon amour, mon ami

Doing Laps

You’re going in circles. You’ve done the break up-make up thing 100 times over the course of a few years. The past 6 months the break ups are becoming more frequent and the make ups are becoming less affectionate. Why? Because you agree to finally get married, but he won’t agree to the religious ceremony your parents want. Or you won’t agree to move to Saudi where he can definitely land a better job which means affording this marriage as he’s told you many times or he hates your pets or you hate his trips to the casino. Whatever the reasons are you are going in circles.

RUNNING SHOE OF CHOICE

‘Adidas IS ALL IN’

If you really cannot bear to throw in the towel, then revamp your team strategy. You want each other but there are things that he won’t itnazal on and vice versa. Your running shoe tells you Going All In means making a conscious effort to overcome the obstacles. Before you know it, you’ll be leaping those hurdles together, for better or worse.

Passing the baton

This is sometimes the most difficult thing to master in relay races. You need to seamlessly pass the baton to your teammate in motion without creating any delays that could hurt your team’s performance. You and your partner seem at times to run like a well-oiled machine, and at other times like a squeaky wheel and this is what makes you reluctant to make the big commitment. In situations where you should agree, like the number of children you’re planning on having and which area you’ll get your marital pad in, you are at odds and not able to form a proper game plan.

RUNNING SHOE OF CHOICE

Umbro ‘GO OUT THERE!’

These details are all important. We’re not going to mince words and pretend they aren’t but come on already, agree on life basics or drop out of the race now. If you can’t agree on logistics than all the love in the world isn’t going to save this one. Hit the pavement and start training for the marital jog, it’s a long road and seeing eye to eye now is better than not being able to run the long distance later. Either get all Umbro with it and put yourself out there for real, or be a sprinter and realize that your relationship is no long distance run.

There are tons more situations where you could feel commitment-shy. We can’t address them all, but we sure understand not wanting to seal the deal. Keep your running shoes on; you can always change your mind at the last minute

38 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

COMMITMENT facts Stopwatch Miss Havisham’s broken heart was immortalized in the literary classic Great Expectations by Charles Dickens in 1861. The most famous almost-bride to be was left at the altar and never recovered after her fiancé cruelly stood her up. She stopped all the clocks in her mansion at 8:40 am as a memorial of his betrayal, and remained forever clad in her wedding gown. The stopped clocks are widely considered a metaphoric literary device representing Miss Havisham’s failure to move past her broken heart.

{2005

The year that The Corpse Bride, co-directed by Tim Burton and Mike Johnston, was released. The Academy Award nominated musical film was a triumvirate of goth talent- directed by Tim Burton and stars his wife Helena Bonham Carter as Emily and his best friend Johnny Depp as Victor. The Corpse Bride was inspired by Howard Schwartz’s retelling of the Jewish folktale The Finger.

40 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

I Was Made For Lovin’ You, Baby The Bride of Frankenstein circa 1935 was made as a sequel to the 1931 film Frankenstein. Both films are rooted in Mary Shelley’s literary classic of the same name. The Bride of Frankenstein was created as just that, a mate for the monster himself.

The number of times that Henry VIII was married. Of those 6, 2 were executed, 2 were divorced 1 died (Jane Seymour) and 1 outlived him, becoming his widow (Katherine Parr). Katherine Parr’s mother was a Lady in Waiting to Henry’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon, and ironically named her daughter after the divorced Queen, who later went on to marry him.

Three’s a Crowd Polyandry, from the Latin poly (many) and Andros (man), is the practise of marrying more than one man at a time. It is far less common than polygyny (marrying more than one woman). Polygamy, “a marriage that includes more than 2 partners” is usually used when discussing polygyny. Bigamy, a crime in many countries, is the practise of entering into a second marriage while still legally married to another person.

{

1987

The year the phrase “Commitmentphobia” was coined in the book “Men Who Can’t Love” by Steven A. Carter and Julia Sokol. Their second book, “He’s Scared, She’s Scared”, was released in 1995 and was less androcentric as a response to the accusations that the authors implied that only men had commitment issues.

Hide + Seek Jennifer Carol Wilbanks, the real Runaway Bride, took off from her home in Duluth, Georgia 4 days before her wedding to her fiancé John Mason in April 2005. Wilbanks was believed missing or dead prompting her parents to offer a $100000 reward, and set off an investigation involving the FBI. The story sparked international headlines as Wilbanks fabricated a story of kidnapping and sexual assault and was later charged for making false statements, also agreeing to pay back some of the monetary costs of the investigation. THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

THE UH,

BEING THE MOST UN-PERFECT BRIDESMAID YOU CAN BE! BY MARIA ELENA KASSAB

h, spring. ‘Tis the season of tweeting birds, blooming flowers and the beginning of the wedding frenzy that will probably take over your life until mid-October. If you’re like me and have no inclination of getting hitched anytime soon, you’re probably torn between your love of weddings and complete and utter hatred for those celebrations. I mean come ON, how many dresses am I expected to buy this year (since I cannot be seen wearing the same dress at two different weddings even if the two couples have nothing to do with each other)? How many cheekpinches and questions like, “When will it be you walking down that aisle?” can I take? What’s even more torturous,

42 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

in my humble opinion, is being a bridesmaid, what with the new trend of having a slew of bridesmaids instead of one maid of honor –brides now need an entire team of women to fawn over them. Of course, it would be a total honor to serve as your bridesmaid, sweetie. When you mentioned it, I imagined planning your bachelorette party (something fun yet still classy, like white dresses at a bar on a sandy beach), helping you chose a theme and decoration (cala lilies?), having a say in the seating chart (yes, place your icky Aunt Muriel next to your frenemy), and being there to wipe your tears of joy on your wedding day. What I didn’t expect was the penis-shaped cake you wanted

for your bachelorette party (during which you made out with the bouncer and asked me to lie to your fiancé about), the fact that you practically shoved those cala lilies down my throat, making frenemies of my own and feeling like I was living the Vietnam war on your wedding week. And then came the superstitions and nagging! “No, we can’t have thirteen types of finger food, it’s an unlucky number!” or “I can’t have my wedding dinner in that restaurant, I heard their chef studied in Belgium and I once got sick on Belgian chocolate!” or even “I can’t have the square root of the number of guests, multiplied by the number of vowels in my name be a multiple of five, it’s my unlucky number!”

mon amour, mon ami

SADLY, UNDER THE BRIDE’S STRICT INSTRUCTIONS,

After months of preparation, D-Day is finally here. The actual D-Day in Normandy back in 1944 wasn’t as meticulously planned as today. I wake up at exactly six thirty-seven, showered and ready by seven and meet the rest of the female wedding party at the hair salon (no hairdressers here, only “hair artists”) at the exact time I’m supposed to. Pedicures, manicures, curling irons, flat irons, hairspray, glitter, hair extensions, Swarovski crystals… anything goes! Then comes the makeup: I guess nobody has heard the expression “keep it light”. Foundation is caked so heavily that some of the girls look like wax figurines; eyeliner is so far from “light”, it’s in another galaxy. Sadly, under the bride’s strict instructions, we all end up looking like Lebanese pop stars. Great. And now, the highlight of my day: the dress. I know that the bride has to be the most beautiful girl in the room on her wedding day, but I do believe the sheer brilliance of her smile is enough to make her look like a goddess. Nevertheless, I knew that the dress I would have to wear would not be flattering –after all, I was not the maid of honor, who got to don a stunning sapphire mermaid gown. But come on, sweetheart. Lime green satin? Definitely not my color! But when I look back at the other possible choices you could have decked me in (bubblegum pink chiffon, stale beige lace, faded-jean blue denim dresses, straw yellow muslin), I’m grateful! The parents of the bride and groom switch partners and enter the church with proud wide smiles, followed by the bridal party. The best man and maid of honor walk in as though they own the place, followed by the bride and groom to the tune of the Wedding March. The ceremony is long and dull, filled with excerpts from Gibran’s The

Prophet and lyrics from Nancy Ajram’s latest song about love. The only lively moment to me is when the bride and groom are asked if they take each other as their lawful spouse. When they say “I do”, she in a sweet voice and he in a booming tone, the church erupts into applause! I mean, did you think they invited all these people, throw all this money on a ceremony and decoration just to say NO at the last second? Then comes the mandatory congratulation line, where the entire congregation wants to shake hands with the bride and groom, their parents and the maid of honor and best man (I don’t know why we congratulate them, they’re still desperately single). And why are we congratulating them anyway? Most of us are either cynics or commitment-phobes who think that getting married is the worst thing after being un-politicized in Lebanon! During the wedding dinner-cocktailreception, things only get better. The first dance is adorable and brings a silly smile to everyone’s faces but the song is over-used and tacky. And then costumed men and women with swords and shields dance a Zaffé – swords and shields, good analogy since marriage is about fighting and gutting each other. And when the real dancing begins, the bride sits down and smiles as her husband is lifted in the air and hailed like a hero –although he’s just signed a contract to be tied down and subdued for the rest of his life. I try to get myself on the dance floor and shake my wedding blues off but the dress is too uncomfortable, the heels are out of this world and the bride chastises me, saying I shouldn’t sweat my makeup off because the photographer wants a picture of each bridesmaid pretending to eat an apple. Go figure, it’s art and I don’t get it. I sullenly sit back down, eyeing a

handsome groomsman who’s dancing with his grandmother and devising a strategy to strike up a conversation with him when it’s suddenly time for the garter throw. The bride sits down on a chair in the middle of the dance floor while the groom dives under her voluminous skirts to slide the garter down (cue whistles and catcalls), then flings it towards the wolf pack. It lands squarely on my groomsman’s head; he looks positively stunned. And now it’s bouquet-throwing time! If I thought the pre-wedding week was Vietnam, this is ten times worse. I’m half-expecting the girls to grow claws and wings and morph into harpies. The bride throws the bouquet. I won’t lie and say I just sit there, I actually jump for it and my efforts are rewarded: I manage to grab it by the stems. Cheers erupt around me, but one bridesmaid glares daggers at me and actually tries to snatch the bouquet away. I bravely defend my prize and almost bare my teeth at the girl before I stop in horror –was this the first step towards becoming the bridezilla my friend had become? They say that the one to catch the bouquet would be the next to get married –would I be the next to enslave my friends and garb them in horrible dresses so I could have my perfect wedding day? I shove the bouquet towards her, but as the camera turns to us, she once again transforms into the epitome of femininity and elegance (well, as elegant as she can be in that dress she’s wearing) and hugs me in congratulations. And now it’s time for the garter-catching groomsman and the bouquet-catching bridesmaid to have their dance. He’s handsome, has a great smile and I don’t even need to come up with a conversation subject as we dance and discuss our luck at catching things. Maybe weddings aren’t so bad after all

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

cultureclash

HAYDA LEBNEN’s BY SARAH HOURANY

hen Barney Stinson, the famous character in the American TV hit sitcom, “How I Met Your Mother”, came up with the “Cheerleader Effect” theory, he couldn’t have predicted that his philosophical concept could be the perfect analogy for a Lebanese Wedding. His original theory labels the following situation: When you see a group of girls or guys and they look hot, but when you see each person individually… they’re not! In other words, it is when people who do not appear hot as individuals seem hot when in a group. Following the same pattern, when looking at the Lebanese Weddings as a whole, they seem completely typical, but when you focus on each and every part, you realize that they are not. Check them out and rate them on a 100% insanity scale.

Part I CASH GRAB Ideally, people should plan a wedding they can afford, taking a small part of their savings and leaving the rest for more important investments. In Lebanon, it is actually more like spending the whole kit and caboodle (if they even have anything saved), for what they consider the most important investment, the wedding, and leave the little remaining for secondary needs such as a home. Those who don’t have some cash laid by, and this is very common, usually use other forms of financing • Parent’s retirement savings In Lebanon, one is never too old to be dependent on their mom and dad’s financial and emotional support. In addition, it is commonly believed that a lavish wedding can be much

more rewarding to their parents than a retirement stash destined to be used for other uses, like medical expenses, right? • Bank It! Take out a wedding loan (for more information about this specific kind of financing, check our November 2010 issue). Banks should also start thinking about making honeymoon loans available due to the rising popular demand. • Downsize to Upsize “Zaghir baytak, kabbir 3ersak.” This is the worst case scenario. If all of the above fail, couples generally don’t hesitate in reducing their prospective small flat into an even smaller flat, generating an additional $50000 for the wedding fundraising. 2enno chu fiya bisir el beit cozy aktar w menjib Wael Kfoury! Kella layle w ba3den ma hadan a7san men 7ada!

“ZAGHIR BAYTAK, KABBIR 3ERSAK.”

44 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

HE LOVED HER BECAUSE SHE IS AN ATTRACTIVE BRUNETTE AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, OUT PARADES THE BLEACH BLOND BRIDE! Part III CINDERELLA OR BRIDEZILLA? We don’t exactly know if this is inspired by Cinderella’s midnight metamorphosis, but whatever the reasons behind it are, it should stop, seriously! Enno he loved her because she is an attractive brunette and then all of a sudden, out parades the bleach blond bride! Her beautiful brown eyes charmed him, but on this particular day they’ve transformed into an artificial royal blue. No grooms, this is not wedding stress overcoming you, she’s done an extreme makeover! Girls, try to show a better version of you, not a completely other you! Bridesmaids, you too should understand that going to the extreme with your looks, appearing as Cinderella’s evil stepsisters, isn’t what the occasion calls for. Please note that you are neither the bride (resist the urge to be the star of the wedding) nor a beauty pageant contestant (in the highly likely event there will be more than one bridesmaid). Part II ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY Ok, family is important. But please explain to me chu khass ibn benet 3amm your dad or okhot selfit your mom… 3anjad! At least half of the people you invite to your wedding are people you have never met in your entire life! Enno plan a “meet the family” dinner bass mech daroure to have them all at your wedding. We do realize the Grand Marriage is not really “grand” without 500 guests and more, 3al Lebnene. And now let’s look at some common guest behavior • The RSVP note, indicating that you should confirm your presence, is actually, for them. The guests consider it a unique card decoration or a hopeless attempt from the bride and groom to show that they are impressively knowledgeable about etiquette and savoir-vivre. 2enno walaw la chou nde2! Akid they know 2enno we are coming.

• Limiting the invitation to 3 or 4 persons irritates many prospective attendees,“3ayb 3layon! Bass 3azamoune ana w jawze w ibne el kbir w bente l kbire? Chu ba3mol bi Samer w Sahar w Leila? Walaw, ma l 3aris bikoun ibn bint 3ammo la jawze… We are so boycotting the wedding!” • Another popular behavior regarding the number of guests is sending someone else (who is not invited to the wedding) as a replacement for the person who is unable to attend, just to match the number of guests indicated! • The phrase “Nawman hani2an li 2atfalikom” triggers anger and disappointment, as guests tend to take it personally. “Chou asdon enno wlédé meze3jin? Facharo!” Regardless whether or not the card says children aren’t welcome, we end up with crying babies during the seated dinner or annoying kids dancing around the cake.

Part IV FREAKY BEHAVIOR Tossing the bouquet is a tradition conveying that the woman who catches it will be the next to get married. It is a very nice component of the wedding until… you see the first violent fight between the single ladies whose ages range from 16 to 45. The latter dispute intensifies with the increase of the number of single women, and it is worth noting that the older they are, the more aggressive they act! Ma ba2a fi wa2et, bedna netjawaz! Guess what, if you physically catch the bouquet, you will not get married. Please correct your te3nis post-hoc fallacy! After examining the wedding in parts, you most likely rated each category with a huge 100 percent. Do you know why? Not because they’re actually that crazy on our insanity scale, but it is because we as Lebanese exaggerate in ratings as much as we do in our weddings… Ma hayda lebnen, ya 3ayne!

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

mind, body + soul

help me

Nour

RAGMAG BRINGS YOUR REALITY CHECK TO YOU. SEND NOUR YOUR QUESTIONS, AND EACH ISSUE SHE DOES HER BEST TO GIVE YOU SOUND ADVICE. THE ONLY INTERACTIVE ADVICE COLUMN IN LEBANON, EACH QUESTION IS ADDRESSED BY READERS BEFORE NOUR WEIGHS IN ON THE MATTER.

BY NOUR OBAJI + RABIH FEGHALI

I am 33 and still single... Do I still have the chance to meet Mr. Right? Jeria, 24

“You are old enough to realize and accept the fact that Mr. Right is like Santa Claus- he doesn’t exist. Unfortunately, settling down does mean you will have to settle. If you are not prepared to do so, then just enjoy your life. It’s better to be single and happy than committed and miserable. In any case best of luck.”

Guy’s Vote “If you’re 33, and have never been married (not even a previous marriage), it can only mean one thing: You have unrealistic expectations in terms of what type of man that a woman with your level of education, social/family status, kindness, beauty and charm, can attract. I’m not asking you to settle, but if you don’t change your mindset and start opening your heart and mind to the more attainable men around you, you’re going to live a long, lonely life.” Rabih, 33

Mino, 25

“Yes, you do, but set your priorities in order before you meet him. This way you know you aren’t settling. You’ll never find a10 out of 10, so if you meet someone who carries 7 or 8 of your top requirements, run with it and learn how to deal with the points he didn’t score.” Alia, 35

“Why is this even a question? It is the year 2011 not 1911 and you are not on the shelf at 43 never mind 33. Let me tell you what will kill the chance to meet Mr. Right: The desperation of wondering whether or not you will at 33! You see, men can smell desperation and worry a mile away and they run from it. Not only do they run, they tell their friends who also run. The other danger of wondering at 33 is that you will start to look at every guy as Mr. Right instead of just a new experience. Then, when he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right, you will be horribly let down and quite possibly bitter. The final and most serious thing about wondering and worrying? You will settle. You will convince yourself that the guy whose habits or hygiene drive you up the wall is in fact the one. He isn’t. All for what? So you can meet some imaginary age limit that isn’t really there and never was? Own your age, don’t let it own you.”

46 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Nour’s Vote This is really R & R: Repetitive and redundant. What exactly is your idea of Mr. Right? That is so relative! I can’t possibly tell you because I have no clue as to what you consider the “perfect” man. Nour regularly gets questions pertaining to being alone and of a certain age. For starters, 30 is the new 20. If you want children then sooner is better than later, but why are you panicking? Of course you have the chance to meet your ideal mate, unless your ideal mate is beyond realistic expectations. When I say that, I mean do you want to marry Johnny Depp? Or is the guy that works in the next building over a possible option? Figure out what you want, if you’re looking for superstar come superdad, than no, you’re not going to meet anyone! I think our Guy’s Vote, although he sounds like an asshole, makes sense. Are you going for men that are out of your league? That’s something else to consider.

My best friend and my cousin got together and then had a messy breakup after a year-long relationship. How can I be supportive to both of them without getting dragged into the ex-bashing cycle of hell? I love both of them, but I can’t take sides!

mind, body + soul

I SEE THE PATTERN. YOU SEE THE PATTERN. WE ALL SEE THE PATTERN. SO WHY DOESN’T SHE?

Ilham, 29

“The best thing to do when they start bashing is firmly state you are Switzerland. That means you support neither of them in the bitter war of words that is sure to follow a messy breakup. Given that it is your cousin and your best friend, you don’t want to alienate either of them in any way, see? Switzerland. If they can’t understand that, then you need to change the subject every single time that one of them mentions the other. By doing this, you save yourself headaches and you save your friendships with both.”

Guy’s Vote “Messy situation. Were you the introducer? If so, then you do have to get involved and support them both. You took on this burden the day you set it up – and yes you do have to take sides. At least in the beginning. I would say you make your cousin (who I’m assuming is a guy) understand, that you are going to be on your friend’s side and then ride the wave until the storm subsides – and it WILL subside, sooner or later.” Rabih, 33 Nour’s Vote This is why Nour rarely plays cupid. Once the 2 people you are close to break up, you’re stuck in the middle. It is like a tug of war with each person trying to convince you how wrong the other was. It is exhausting and just drama, drama, drama. I don’t know about you, but I’ve got enough problems so hearing ad nauseum that Haysam did this and Leila did that is lost time and crying over spilled milk. The answer is tough love. The next time Leila tells you how Haysam fucked up, tell her that in the name of sanity she needs to move on and to facilitate her healing process, and that you will no longer

be party to the bashing session. Tell Haysam the very same thing and soon, they’ll have to either shut it or shove off.

so if that’s the case, let it be. If that is not the case, you must do everything in your power to make her leave him.” Rabih, 33

My sister just got back together with her ex-boyfriend, and she’s convincing herself that he’s the one for her even though he’s making the same mistakes that perpetuated their first break-up! How do I open her eyes to this? Vicky, 27

“You can’t open her eyes to it, you’re not living your sister’s life. Everyone needs to learn on their own. Don’t take on extra stress that you don’t need.” Betty, 26

“You don’t. The harder you work to convince her he is an ass, the more she is going to dig in. Sometimes people refuse to see the reality of the ones they love because they have invested a lot of time, effort and emotion into the relationship. Maybe they think the person has undergone a miraculous change in behaviour in personality. The only thing you can do? Be there when the rose-coloured glasses are ripped off because the second go around is way worse than the first.”

Guy’s Vote “As human beings, after a while of being separated from a former lover, we tend to forget/ignore the negative experiences that we associate with them. This is normal. Men DO NOT CHANGE – no matter how hard a woman tries, it just ain’t happening. I have a feeling your sister has started to accept those mistakes as a norm and is maybe willing to move forward regardless – and

Nour’s Vote Break up, make up, break up, make up. How many times can I say it before I begin to sound repetitive? I see the pattern. You see the pattern. We all see the pattern. So why doesn’t she? Because she doesn’t want to see the pattern. This is the first part of the problem, it’s not that she doesn’t know, it’s that she doesn’t want to know. Therefore, you don’t need to open her eyes. What you need to do is take a step back and remove yourself from the situation because it is none of your business. The girl doesn’t have amnesia and if he is doing things that were a problem before, she hasn’t suddenly forgotten or readjusted her view of what exactly constitutes a problem. That is the second problem, that she herself is part of the problem. So back off, she’s a big girl and she knows what’s what

To ask a question,

send your problems to helpmenour@ragmaglive.com

To join the reader response panel and give feedback to women

across Lebanon, send your name, age, and email address to helpmenour@ragmaglive.com subject line: Interactive Panel. We will contact you if you are chosen to participate.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

COMMITTING

YOUR ALL MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK BY MATTHEW HUSSEY

Relationships, and by extension marriages, are hard. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You may think that admitting something like this makes me a pessimist, but far from it. The sooner we accept this fact, the sooner we can really work on getting the more joy and fulfilment from our relationships than we ever thought possible. Nowadays, we are so used to thinking that relationships are broken as soon as things get difficult. Many of us operate under the misguided belief that any good relationships should be easy. As soon as things get tough, or conflicts arise, instead of asking what we should be doing differently, we instead come the misguided conclusion of thinking our partner isn’t right for us. So in the hopes of shedding this mentality, let me share with you some of the best insights I’ve learnt from working with couples who have managed to keep their relationship fresh long after the honeymoon excitement is over.

1. KNOW EACH OTHER’S RULES

All tension in relationships comes from conflicting rules. Sometimes the rules are very simple; one partner wants a clean house whilst the other is, shall we say, less strict about depositing dirty laundry around the bedroom. Other sources of tension are deeper, such as the rules one has for how they want to be treated by their partner. For example, men often express their affection physically through sex, and therefore feel emotionally rejected if their partner has a lower sexual appetite than they do. These conflicts are unavoidable, so the important thing is that we confront them sooner rather than later. If you don’t, the

48 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

mind, body + soul

THE BEST MARRIAGES AREN’T DEFINED BY A LACK OF PROBLEMS, BUT BY THE WILLINGNESS OF THE TWO PARTNERS TO WORK THROUGH THEM.

tension will only build and build until you someone reaches boiling point, and before you know it you have a full-scale shouting match on your hands. Not only should you strive to communicate your rules early, work hard to understand the rules of your partner.

2. FEED YOUR

RELATIONSHIP

Relationships need fuel. And if you neglect to feed them, they will eventually stagnate and die. Yet, when many couples get married, they assume their work is over. They start to lose all of that energy, that excitement and playfulness that has fed the relationship going so far, allowing it to fall by the wayside and eventually succumbing the mind-numbing routine. Over the course of my career I have been privileged to see some of the best couples, and found out their secrets for making it last. I asked one of these couples how they still seemed to have so much passion in their relationship, and the husband told me quite simply, “I never stop trying to impress her. She deserves the best man in the world, so that’s what I strive to be.” I found this a wonderful sentiment; after all these years he still cares enough that he wants to give her what she deserves.

3. REMIND YOUR PARTNER HOW LOVED/ IMPORTANT THEY ARE

One of the most important quotes I’ve committed to memory reminds us that when it comes to showing appreciation, “there’s nothing bigger than the little things”. The greatest crime in marriages is taking our loved ones for granted, whether it’s forgetting to tell them we

love them, or how attractive they are, or failing to show gratitude for the things they do to make our day better. If you’ve recently found yourself stuck in a habit of nagging each other for every little problem, try turning the whole thing around, and unexpectedly say thank you for the little things. Or remind your partner what you love about spending time with them. It’s a well-known fact in psychology people will work harder for praise rather than to avoid being criticized. When people are praised for the best parts of their personality, they will want to exhibit those characteristics even more than they already did. This reminder to praise our partners is one of the greatest secrets I have ever learnt about successful marriages.

4. PROBLEMS ARE THERE TO BE SOLVED

The best marriages aren’t defined by a lack of problems, but by the willingness of the two partners to work through them. If you have that, you can beat any rut, you will be bigger than any argument, above any conflict. One of the most important factors in beating these problems is the ability to see yourselves as a team. It is often overlooked, but you want your partner to be caring teammates. It’s the vital foundation of all good marriages. And as with even the best teams, accept the fact now that it won’t always be easy. But then, nothing worth having ever is. Matthew Hussey is a renowned peak performance coach. To join him on one of his worldwide lifestyle retreats this year visit www.matthewhussey. com for more details

RAGMAG brings you the best in selfimprovement. Matthew Hussey is one of the leading talents in behavioral change and success. As a Life Strategist he has founded two coaching companies working with thousands of individuals across the globe to show them ways of making dramatic shifts in their lives. Matthew’s success has been built on finding out what people want, and showing them how to make it happen in the shortest time possible. He is currently a weekly columnist for Now magazine, providing expert advice on dating and relationship issues for female readers. In addition, his coaching has been featured in the London Metro, Evening Standard, The Sun, The Independent, Men’s Health, Glamour magazine, Cosmopolitan, and Elle magazine. His seminars have recently taken him to New York where he ran a live event and an interview with Sirius radio, and will be taking him to Las Vegas later this year to speak about his methods. A highly sought after public speaker and executive coach, Matthew has consulted companies including Accenture, Virgin, Morgan Stanley, Weil & Gotshal, and CB Richard Ellis, as well as over 5000 individuals and organizations ranging from directors of FTSE 100 Companies, Universities, international investment funds, artists, and royalty.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

DONNING A DIFFERENT KIND OF VEIL

TESTING A RELIGIOUS COMMITMENT BY STEPHANIE AOUN

PHOTOGRAPHY JASON ZAMORA 50 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

FML [f*ck my life]

I WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT, HEAVY, SOMETHING THAT WOULD AFFECT ME AND THE PEOPLE I WOULD LATER ON SHARE IT WITH. I WAS GOING TO WEAR A VEIL FOR 5 DAYS.

ey it was finally my turn for the FML! And how excited I was, especially since I was given the opportunity to choose whatever I want to do and run it of course by Fida and Gina. Well a normal person would have come up with something fun and exciting, but oh no not me. I wanted something different, heavy, something that would affect me and the people I would later on share it with. I was going to wear a veil for 5 days. That’s right I wanted to be in the skin of a veiled girl but carry on my life normally, go to the same places I usually go to and hang out with the same people. Editor’s Note I have to admit, Gina and I were a little worried wondering how people would react to this particular social experiment. Being a Muslim, I myself was curious to see how people would treat the newlyveiled Stephanie, especially since the few times I have worn one I have noticed both stares and awkwardness. Was it all in my head? I would find out through Stephanie’s FML assignment.

The only thing I chose to quit during this week was alcohol in respect of the religion and the veil I was going to wear, since as we all know alcohol is forbidden in Islam. Traditionally, Muslims have recognized many different forms of clothing as satisfying the demands of hijab. Debate focused on how much of the male or female body should be covered. Different scholars adopted different interpretations of the original texts. So I went for the regular veil and decent dress of course, not showing any cleavage or any arms or legs…. Well most of you would be wondering why a Christian girl would want to wear a veil, hell, I was even wondering why! To tell you the truth, the main reason was curiosity. I wanted to see what the effect this piece of cloth with its religious symbolism would have on my life. My proposition was approved and my assignment was to start on Monday April 11. I was scared shitless to say the least! Sunday night came and I had all these ideas and thoughts racing through my mind. I knew that

what I was going to do was extremely controversial. I had all these questions hammering me one after the other. How would my family react? My friends? The people who know me in the neighborhood? Would Muslims be offended when reading about this? I’m going to look hideous! D-day was finally here and I was freaking out. I went into my room, locked the door, and went through my scarf collection to find a suitable one that would work as a veil. I went for a cute white and pink one and tried to build my complete outfit around it and that definitely wasn’t easy. Why? Well simply because everyone who knows me also knows that I love to show some cleavage. My motto is if you have it, you might as well flaunt it! And most of my shirts are kind of revealing or at least would be considered so by a religious person. I finally picked out a white Hello Kitty T-shirt, some black jeans, and my Converse runners; I was going to keep it casual. I also decided to put makeup on like I always do, concealer, eyeliner and some mascara,

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

FML [f*ck my life]

and I was good to go. Oops I almost forgot the most important thing, the veil! I tried a couple of different styles until I finally found one that I looked less hideous in and I finally stepped out of the room. Editor’s Note Spoken like a true fashion writer. Stephanie is our fashion columnist and Mix ‘N Match stylist so naturally she came over for a try-on session the day before she was beginning her FML. I showed her the different styles of wrapping hijabs and we tried to decide on the one that suited her best.

I walked into the living room where my mom was watching TV and said, “Well Mom I’m leaving now, see you tonight.” The moment she turned towards me to answer, I swear to God she froze for what seemed like an eternity, all that came out of her mouth 3 minutes later was, “What? Why?” I should probably mention that I decided not to tell anyone about the article I was going to write, all I said to everyone was that I was curious about the veil and wanted to try it for a week.

52 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

After I explained that to mom, she was in tears. I couldn’t quite figure if she was angry, shocked, sad, confused… I think she went through all of these emotions, until she finally turned her eyes away without any comment. Editor’s Note Stephanie had predicted a strong reaction from her parents, confiding that her mother especially would “freak out”. Well, freak out she did.

Once out in the street, there was no turning back. I put my earphones on and just started walking to nowhere in particular. I don’t know if it was paranoia or if it was really the case, but walking in Gemmayzeh all the way to Achrafieh, I felt all eyes on me and all I wanted was to disappear right then and there. Being a confident person, I was determined to stray true to myself and I walked proud and tall eying every person who I felt was staring or judging my look. I decided to pay my best friend a visit at his office since it was nearby and I was dying to see his reaction. The look on his face was

priceless! He went from a total disbelief to a loud laugh that I felt lasted forever. Well now that I think about it, I’ve had that same reaction from every friend who saw me during the week. Even though I tried different styles with the veil, the reaction was the same: Utter shock!

I’VE HAD THAT SAME REACTION FROM EVERY FRIEND WHO SAW ME DURING THE WEEK. EVEN THOUGH I TRIED DIFFERENT STYLES WITH THE VEIL, THE REACTION WAS THE SAME: UTTER SHOCK!

My brother’s reaction was something else though. I decided to surprise him at the boutique where he works and the minute I walked in and saw his face I knew I just shouldn’t have. Now knowing my brother I expected it but wanted to try anyway. He simply asked me to leave the shop right away and when I asked him why, his response was, “I simply find it insulting for women and degrading for them, why don’t men wear them? I refuse to see you as long as you’re wearing this veil!” When it came to me, to what I felt, and how the emotions evolved throughout that week, it was really incredible.

I started off, wanting to cry, feeling ugly, and just paranoid all the time about my looks and how others would perceive me. But little by little it got to a certain point where I even forgot that I was wearing anything on my head. I felt like me: Confident! Editor’s Note Stephanie is one of the most confident members of the RAGMAG team. She’s also gutsy, brave and not afraid to spice it up a bit. Okay, a lot. Stephanie, we’re proud of you sticking to the 5 day plan, despite the negative reactions and the emotional rollercoaster.

Before I knew it, Friday was here and it was the end of the assignment. Looking back on this whole experience, I can’t but respect any girl who willingly decides to wear a veil for religious reasons. I can’t even start to describe the heat waves that I went through with this crazy weather, the discomfort of always worrying about the veil actually coming undone, the style challenges it put me through and last but not least, having to hide the thing I like the most about myself, my hair!

‘I SIMPLY FIND IT INSULTING FOR WOMEN AND DEGRADING FOR THEM, WHY DON’T MEN WEAR THEM? I REFUSE TO SEE YOU AS LONG AS YOU’RE WEARING THIS VEIL!’ THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

COMMIT TO YOUR

SEXUAL

HEALTH BY IMOGEN KIMBER

SEX IS EVERYWHERE; ON TV, IN MAGAZINES, ON BILLBOARDS, IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO MISS. ALSO ON THE RISE ARE SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES. TO MAKE SURE YOU CAN HAVE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER THIS IS YOUR GUIDE TO STDS.

CHLAMYDIA

The greatest danger with Chlamydia is that it can cause infertility if left untreated for too long. This is particularly unfortunate as it is coupled with the fact that Chlamydia is one of the STDs that you can carry symptomless.

SYMPTOMS

• WOMEN Pain during sex, change in discharge, pain in the lower abdomen • MEN Discharge, burning sensation

TREATMENT

Chlamydia can be cleared up with a course of antibiotics from your doctor. CHLAMYDIA

SYPHILIS

Syphilis is most famous for inducing madness in its sufferers; left untreated it affects the nervous system. In medical circles it is also famous for its curiously wide-range of symptoms.

SYMPTOMS

• In the first stages syphilis appears as small ulcerations near the penis or the vagina, although it could also be on the tongue or mouth. These will disappear after one week. • The second stage is ambiguous, but can include a rash that doesn’t itch and leave you tired or with headaches. • In the latent stage the symptoms disappear again, but you are still a carrier and can pass on the disease to your partner. • The third stage is the critical stage when the disease affects your nervous system and may cause brain damage.

TREATMENT

The first two stages can be treated with regular antibiotics. By the third stage a person would need weekly injections of antibiotics, however, some of the damage to the nervous system would be irreversible. SYPHILIS

54 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

GONORRHOEA

A less common STD, but still common enough to warrant the horrible nickname, “Clap”. With symptoms quite similar to Chlamydia it would be easy to confuse the two, particularly for women. Like Chlamydia, if left untreated there is a high risk that the infection can spread and cause pelvic inflammatory disease.

SYMPTOMS

• WOMEN Smelly or discoloured discharge, pain in the abdomen • MEN Burning during urination, inflammation of the foreskin, discharge

TREATMENT

A course of antibiotics should be able to treat the first stages of Gonorrhoea. NEISSERIA GONORRHOEAE

mind, body + soul

HEPATITIS C

HIV and AIDS

SYMPTOMS

Hepatitis C is an inflammation of the liver which can lead to cirrhosis. Hepatitis C is sadly incurable at the moment and scarily you can be a “healthy carrier”. Only Hepatitis C strictly counts as an STD as Hepatitis A & B are not only passed in the bodily fluids - they can be contracted through poor sanitation.

• Stage one is usually symptomless but you may begin to feel nauseous or lethargic. • Stage two, after about six months, is when you will start to notice the signs of a damaged liver such as exhaustion, digestion problems, headaches, and the like.

TREATMENT

There are two drugs that can help to the stop the virus from spreading, but there is no full cure.

GET HELP

The Women’s Health Clinic at the AUH American University Hospital Makdissi Street, Beirut Tel 01/350000 Trad Hospital and Medical Centre 53 Mexico Street Clemenceau, Beirut 01/369494 Rizk Hospital Zahar Street, Achrafieh Beirut 01/335601 Gynaecologist departments in hospitals are an excellent choice as almost all testing and treatment can be carried out immediately.

FOR FREE CONTRACEPTION Soins Infirmiers Developpement Communautaire Daou Bldg, Youssef Karam Street Sin el Fil 0 1/480714

Lebanon Family Planning Association Al Maskan Building, Corniche Mazraa 0 1/311978

Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome develops after you have contracted Human Immunodeficiency Virus. The virus attacks your immune system, eventually leaving you unable to fight off the simplest of infections, including the common cold. HIV is passed in blood, semen and vaginal fluids; it is not passed in saliva. It is usually contracted by having unprotected sex or through sharing needles.

• Largely people only find out they are HIV positive by going for a test but symptoms could be swollen glands, headaches, exhaustion. • As HIV develops into AIDS, sores or lesions develop, sickness, weight loss and easy contraction of other illnesses.

TREATMENT No cure exists for HIV or AIDS, but there are drugs which can support the immune system, allowing the carrier to live a longer life with fewer symptoms.

GENITAL HERPES

Another incurable STD which can die down and flare up throughout your whole life is Herpes. It can also affect your overall immune system. It can be surprisingly tough to avoid, as when a person has no sores you will not know that they are a hidden carrier and in addition, this is one ailment that condoms cannot protect from. If you are diagnosed with herpes the responsible thing to do is to warn any sexual partner before you touch them.

SYMPTOMS

• Blisters will appear that eventually burst and leave painful sores. • You may experience pain when passing urine.

TREATMENT Drugs can stop the virus multiplying and you can try to relieve the discomfort with creams and painkillers.

HOW TO HAVE SAFE SEX ACCORDING TO THE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC AT THE AUBMC DR. JOSEPH GIVES HIS ADVICE ON HOW TO AVOID STDS

1. Sexual Partners Try and stick

with the same partner. Not a moral judgement - just lowers the chances of you picking something up.

2. Honesty Speak to your sexual

partner about their sexual health to find out if they have been positively diagnosed, and be absolutely honest with your partner about your diagnosis.

3. Visit the Doctor The moment

that you experience any untoward symptoms get medical attention.

4. Annual Check-Ups Determine that you aren’t a hidden carrier and beat the long term effects of STDs by getting checked annually. 5. Use a condom

WOMEN PAY ATTENTION! Unfortunately, due to the structure of our anatomy, women are more susceptible to STDs than men. This simply because vaginas are a wet, moist cavity and therefore more receptive to outside organisms. When a man does have an STD it is more likely that he will be a “healthy carrier” (having a disease but not suffering the symptoms), although his partner is still at risk of contracting the disease. The best warning sign for a woman that she has an STD is unusual discharge. If you notice anything unusual you should go to the doctor immediately. You should also go for an annual PAP smear which will whether you are developing cervical cancer. The procedure is simple, just go to your nearest gynaecologist. There is one steadfast rule for avoiding STDs... Use a condom

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

you + your country

COMMIT TO LETTING GO OFADDICTION SKOUN LOOSENS THE DRUG BIND BY YOUMNA CHAGOURY

O “

h, this is where you treat people?” – That’s the first reaction most people have when visiting Skoun. Founded in 2003, the non-governmental organization (NGO) is an out-patient treatment center; in other words, it is the only addiction center in Lebanon that does not involve the patients checking in to stay. Used to hospital-like facilities with lined-up beds and a medicinal odor, patients have found a whole new concept of treatment in Skoun. “Skoun was founded in reaction to the growth of drug addiction in Lebanon, but we wanted to bring forward a modality of

56 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

treatment that showed addiction the way it’s seen in the Western world. You suffer from depression, you go to a psychiatrist. You have a toothache, you go to the dentist. It’s an issue, but there’s a treatment, and that’s what we wanted to prove,” says Nadya Mikdashi, cofounder of the NGO. In other words, drug addicts who want to let go of their addiction receive specialized treatment without having to spend weeks far away from their comfort zone. According to The Good Drugs Guide website, by allowing the patients to return home each night and requiring that they be in attendance at the treatment center for specific classes

and groups, they get the benefits of drug and alcohol rehab as well as the freedom to practice implementing what they learn in their daily life, therefore keeping their bearings. People’s concerns with these heretofore unheard of techniques were not Skoun’s only problem during startup. When they first launched the NGO, they wanted to establish a drug addiction center in the heart of Beirut, to show that one doesn’t need to be far away and secluded to seek treatment. When Skoun first scouted locations, owners realized that they would be seeing drug users in and out thus making them undesirable tenants.

Mostly financed by private donations, Mikdashi denounces the lack of international grants offered for treatment programs. Most grants are reserved for preventive projects so Skoun has resorted to raising funds by using what Lebanese people do best: Partying. Their annual gala dinner helps raising more than 40 percent of their running budget, and the SkyBar parties play a big participating role in their financing. By considering addiction as a disease with a cure, Skoun has proved its treatment effective, “In our treatment program, our success rate is of 60 percent. We measure success by stabilization of the addiction, but also the quality of life: Is this person happy? Is she effective, productive? Is she able to maintain emotional relationships? Do they consider themselves healthy people? Those are our successes, along with the abstinence percentage,” says Nadya. That being said, she believes the hardest part of her job is the prevention work they’ve incorporated since the very beginning of the NGO. Skoun teams work with schools, universities, and communities. What they do is either help institutions setup and deliver a prevention-intervention program or do direct delivery. One of Skoun’s 3 major programs, the Afkar

project, is based on a distribution of the “Know more, Risk less” booklet to each participant detailing the characteristics of the various drugs and the risks related to their consumption. Mekdashi puts her and the NGO’s efforts into the building prevention projects, as they help the institution involved create a prevention program that’s specific to its needs. Skoun created “Life Skills”, a program that has been implemented since the 2004/2005 academic year. “Life Skills” is an integrated approach in school curriculums, institutions adopt a 42-lessons life skills program which the teachers administer following a two-day workshop. “It’s a preventive program; we teach them to teach about selfconfidence and communication skills, we try to create a culture of caring in the school, because these are things that really [have an effect] in the long term.” The real difference between Skoun’s prevention programs and other NGO’s is that they don’t involve testimonials of recovered addicts. A team of professionals visit schools and universities, and create an open dialogue about all kinds of drugs. According to Nadya, it is not based on scare tactics or personal experience and “some studies have shown that when you show a young person someone

who participant survived detailing addiction, the characteristics it makes them feel of the that various they can drugs too.and And thewe risks don’t want related to to give their that consumption. impression,”Mekdashi explains Nadya. puts her and the NGO’s efforts into the Mikdashi building prevention believes Skoun projects, is helping as they people help theacquire institution a certain involved conscience create a tied prevention to socialprogram responsibility. that’s specific “Prevention to is itsaneeds. social Skoun matter.created Anything “Life oneSkills”, does that a program can bethat a positive has been influence implemented on asince person the is 2004/2005 prevention. academic It can be year. spending “Life Skills” some is anpositive integrated timeapproach with in aschool youngcurriculums, person, so she institutions doesn’t adopt feel a lonely 42-lessons and life turns skills to drugs. program It can which be the you teachers respecting administer a non-smoking following arule two-day [or] itworkshop. can be the“It’s responsibility a preventiveofprogram; a shop owner we teach thatthem refuses to teach to sellabout a pack selfof cigarettes confidenceand anda communication beer to someoneskills, he knows we try to is under create 18.” a culture of caring in In theother school, words, because it’s athese community are things effort, to thatparticipate really [have in the an effect] de-stigmatization in the long of drug term.”addicts in Lebanon. “I think that we The[in real Lebanon] difference seebetween the drugSkoun’s addict as prevention the junkieprograms shootingand up other heroin ten times NGO’sa isday that onthey the don’t side ofinvolve the street. There testimonials is that of type recovered of addiction, addicts. butAthat is team not of theprofessionals face of addiction. visit schools People using and universities, cocaine to and partycreate once an andopen twice adialogue week have about a drug all kinds addiction. of drugs. People that According drink every to Nadya, nightitalso is not have based a drug on addiction. scare tactics And or ifpersonal we don’t experience actually and see “some junkies studies lying have down shown under thatbridges, when there you show is thisa general young person misunderstanding someone and wholack survived of awareness addiction, ofitwhat makes a drug them problem feel that they is.” can too. And we don’t want to give that impression,” explains

BY CONSIDERING ADDICTION AS A DISEASE WITH A CURE, SKOUN HAS PROVED ITS TREATMENT EFFECTIVE.

“IN OUR TREATMENT PROGRAM, OUR SUCCESS RATE IS OF 60 PERCENT. WE MEASURE SUCCESS BY STABILIZATION OF THE ADDICTION, BUT ALSO THE QUALITY OF LIFE: IS THIS PERSON HAPPY? IS SHE EFFECTIVE, PRODUCTIVE?”

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

you + your country

“IT IS A LONG ROAD, DEALING WITH ADDICTION, AND IT IS A JOURNEY IMPOSSIBLE TO TRAVEL ALONE” -- SKOUN WEBSITE

THE BREAKING POINT

“I’ve been smoking Mary-Jane [marijuana] for years now. It started occasionally with friends, at a party, on a Sunday afternoon. Then I felt a DESIRE –that’s what it is- to smoke several joints a week, then one per day. I now smoke 8 to 10 joints a day. Needless to say I’m always high and broke, but I know that people that don’t mix with junkies don’t even notice. Truth be said, I hide the visible symptoms, just like everyone else in Lebanon. I can’t go to my workplace without my eye drops and I spend an enormous amount of energy trying to stay focused so my boss doesn’t notice.” B. is a 28 year-old guy whose lifestyle revolves around his marijuana consumption. Realizing he was “about to lose it” by noticing that he spent time only with the crowd he smokes pot and devoting his

ACCORDING TO SKOUN, ALCOHOLISM IS THE SECOND HIGHEST RATE OF DRUG ADDICTION IN LEBANON, AND ONE OF THE HARDEST TO DETECT. The following questions are used by the US National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism to screen for alcohol abuse or dependence • Do you ever drive when you have been drinking? • Do you have to drink more than before to get drunk or feel the desired effect? • Have you felt that you should cut down on your drinking? • Have you ever had any blackouts after drinking? • Have you ever missed work or lost a job because of drinking? • Is someone in your family worried about your drinking? Symptoms Signs of physical dependence include • Alcohol-related illnesses • A need for increasing amounts of alcohol to get drunk or achieve the desired effect (increased tolerance) • Memory lapses (blackouts) after heavy

58 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

drinking • Withdrawal symptoms when alcohol use is stopped Some of the symptoms and behaviors of alcoholism include • Continuing to drink, even when health, work, or family are being harmed • Drinking alone • Episodes of violence when drinking • Hostility when confronted about drinking • Lack of control over drinking - being unable to stop or reduce alcohol intake • Making excuses to drink • Missing work or school, or a decrease in performance • No longer taking part in activities because of alcohol • Need for daily or regular alcohol use to function • Neglecting to eat • Not caring for physical appearance • Secretive behavior to hide alcohol use • Shaking in the morning

whole salary to rent and drugs. B. decided to self-wean, with only the help of his ex-addict friend’s psychiatrist. “I went to see her once a week, because I couldn’t afford more sessions. The only thing she was able to do is make all my psychological issues related to my dad and my sexuality reappear. I stopped after a few weeks, seeing no real support.” B. unsuccessfully has tried to stop many times after that. He’s starting to realize he might need a whole team to support, help, and mostly guide him through his possible recovery. “I kept telling myself that it was only marijuana, that I wasn’t a drug addict because I didn’t use cocaine or heroin. But the addiction is just the same, and I really need help, or I’m just going to keep on drowning.”

You can find help AA Arabia Aaarabia.org AA Lebanon HOTLINE 76/725969 hamraaa@gmail.com SKOUN 97 Monot Street Nakhle building, 5th floor 20272101 Achrafieh Beirut Lebanon 01/202 714 info@SKOUN.org JAD Jeunesse Anti-Drogue Hawat Press Bldg. Saint Peter Street Jbeil 03/749484 09/942856 jadrogue@hotmail.com

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

mind, body + soul

COMMITTING TO A ZEN ATTITUDE

SHIATSU IN LEBANON “Inhale, exhale. Now press down gently with your palm and hold firmly.” Or at least this is what we did when we joined Lebanon’s first shiatsu “Do-In”. Shiatsu massage has long been a form of holistic health methodology that naturopath practioners swear by. Historically, shiatsu was used as treatment for serious ailments and today is usually used in tandem with medical treatments for general health and wellbeing in addition to facilitating healing or pain relief. The Japanese technique is both delicate and exact and has long been touted as a powerful tool for giving both spiritual and physical benefits. The word shiatsu is comprised of two separate Japanese characters, “shi” meaning finger and “atsu” meaning pressure. For those of who have been the lucky recipients of a shiatsu massage, you might have noticed

the interaction between giver and receiver, a major tenant of shiatsu and other holistic health treatments. Zenatttitude, devoted to introducing the beauty of Japan and its culture, is now offering you the chance to be on the other end of the spectrum. RAGMAG attended Zenattitude’s first shiatsu workshop held in Beirut under the tutelage of shiatsu Master Toschi Ichikawa of Paris, France. The first of its kind held in Lebanon, the four day workshop comprised of the basic shiatsu philosophies as well as technique application in partners, demonstrated and explained by the Sensei who made the trip from Paris for Zenattitude’s first of a series run of a future series. Master Toschi is a practioner and instructor in France and an accredited member of the Fédération Française de Shiatsu Traditionnel (FFST).

Educating on meridians, the energy channels running through the body, and noting parallels between other forms of holistic methods such as Reiki and acupuncture, a strong focus on energy work was incorporated into the workshop’s focus, held at Les Creneaux facility in Sodeco, Achrafieh. Offering both evening and morning sessions, the large number of attendees included a number of holistic health practioners, yogis and students of various schools of holistic health methods. As the response to Zenattitude’s first official shiatsu “Do-In” met with overwhelming success and interest from both professionals and laypeople alike, they will now be offering more intense seminars, the first of which will be held in June

60 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Get Zen in all the Right Ways www.zenattitude-me.org info@zenattitude-me.org 70/505406

PHOTOGRAPHY JASON ZAMORA

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

mirrormirror

the

of THE HABTOOR ELIXIR SPA COMMITS TO YOUR WELL BEING BY FIDA CHAABAN

“

have a fever,” I say to the reception desk at the Grand Habtoor Elixir Spa. I’m sick again! Every single time I go to review a spa I am getting the flu. Is it me or my timing or what? It’s no wonder they’re looking at me quizzically, I’m not entirely sure I’ve introduced myself, nor am I sure if I’ve even said hello. The esthetician smiles at me sympathetically, “Well, maybe we can make you feel better.” There’s something about this girl… hmm there’s something about this whole place. I am taken on a walking tour of the Habtoor and gradually, reality starts to slip away. It is hard to determine the cause since I’m trying to keep up with her brisk pace. I’m following the sound of her tinkling voice but not really hearing her words. I do clue in long enough to hear her describe the treatment I’m about to receive that will “take all [my] aches and pains away.” I feel as though I’m

62 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

about to hear her break into “A Few of My Favorite Things” a la the Sound of Music (am I imagining those floating music notes?), as I trot down the hallway behind her. She’s taking me, uh where is she taking me? I don’t know, but I do pass room after opulent room, and those rooms have everything from stand-up tanning beds to huge Jacuzzilike bathtubs. “What’s that,” I wonder aloud in a mumble. “That’s our couple’s room, you see? People have treatments together,” she says escorting me inside. There are rose petals strewn everywhere and flickering candles and I am sure this is where I am supposed to stay. Roses? Hey it’s “raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,” whoa, did she just say that? I listen closer but she is now describing all the different treatments couples get on holidays and before their weddings. It seems the Habtoor offers just as many services for men as they do for women. The massage beds seem to be inviting me

over, but I don’t have a partner. “I want to lay down now,” I say petulantly. I glance in the mirror and see a pout begin to form. “Alright,” she says, her tone that of someone soothing a child, “We’re going to your room now.” She seems to have changed her appearance, Fraulein Maria is that you? Jason, our photographer, is staring hard at me, he hasn’t seen the I’m-So-SickI-Could-Bawl mood on me yet. He’s out of character, I think. Shouldn’t he be wearing embroidered breeches or something more Alp-ish? He definitely isn’t Captain Von Trapp material, I decide eyeing him suspiciously as he photographs my new room. I look down at my outfit, I’m certainly not one of the “girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes”, but then again who knew I was going to be transported here, to

this place? I want to take my clothes off as my head is pounding and my skin has gotten hypersensitive, another fever side effect. Is she guiding me by the hand? How did I get here? I’m lost in what is easily the biggest spa in Lebanon. We come to a whole other floor in the Von Trapp mansion (I mean the Habtoor spa) and I see what looks to be a cave! There’s a snow room (the only one in Lebanon, I think) and a heated whirlpool here, and guests often layer their treatments and idle away time enjoying the cool mist and the hot waves before or after their appointments, alone or in groups. The snow room draws me back and I peak inside, “Snowflakes that melt on my nose and eyelashes,” there it goes again! Who is singing that! My fever is raging now, I am sure of it and my

SHE SEEMS TO HAVE CHANGED HER APPEARANCE, FRAULEIN MARIA IS THAT YOU? PHOTOGRAPHY JASON ZAMORA

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

mirrormirror

eyes well up with tears. Cry baby that I am when I get sick, my friends and family can vouch for the fact that I will spontaneously burst into tears when I get the flu. Not once, more like every ten minutes. I undress, but I can’t tell you where or how. All I know is that Fraulein Maria has given me a comfortable white robe and now I’m laying down cuddled in blankies, err make that blankets. More candles, more roses everywhere, and all of a sudden there are hot rocks and Fraulein Maria is drawing them up and down the length of my legs. It feels like the blood is rushing upwards. More hot rocks along my torso and even around my collar bone and neck area. There is a warm fluid being applied and Fraulein Maria seems to be drawing away my achiness with her hot rocks that she palms expertly. I begin to

Be a doe, a deer, a female deer The Elixir Spa Habtoor Grand Hotel Convention Center & Spa Sin El Fil, Beirut 01/500666 grandbeirut@habtoorhotels.com 64 RAGMAG | MAY 2011 www.grandbeirut.habtoorhotels.com

hum, “When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad…” Fraulein Maria should start singing, but she isn’t picking up her cue so I press her, providing the lyrics. She continues to massage and even my scalp is being worked now but she doesn’t go ahead with the next verse. The massage goes on for what seems like forever, and I begin to drift off to sleep. When I wake I am invigorated and although my fever remained, my morale is boosted, as I drink tea made in “bright copper kettles”. Next time I don’t feel so hot, I’ll visit the Habtoor and all I have to do “is simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel… so bad!”

Disclaimer: RAGMAG cannot be held responsible for the author singing off-key in your head while you read this spa review.

ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE ARE HOT ROCKS AND FRAULEIN MARIA IS DRAWING THEM UP AND DOWN THE LENGTH OF MY LEGS.

K_\

>Xi[\e J_fn Jgi`e^ =\jk`mXc

Beirut Hippodrome May 24-28, 2011 from 4 till 10 pm Now in its 8th year! 220 Exhibitors 24,000 Visitors Featuring Art of Gardening • Art of Living in the Garden • Crafts • Farmers Market Holidays & Leisure • Kids Village F==@:@8C G8IKE<I1

JLGGFIK<; 9P1

The event is organized by Hospitality services s.a.r.l. & Myriam Shuman For more information t: +961 1 48 00 81, f: +961 1 48 28 76 e: garden@the-gardenshow.com w: the-gardenshow.com THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

SYNDROME WHO’S TO BLAME FOR THE COMMERCIAL COMMITMENT HYPE? BY SARAH HOURANY FABULOUS GOWN, ROMANTIC MUSIC, EXTRAORDINARY FLOWERS, MULTITIER CAKE, ENDLESS LIST OF ATTENDANTS, AND A MAGICAL ATMOSPHERE… THE SAME STEREOTYPICAL SCENARIO IS ENVISIONED BY TONS OF WOMEN FROM THE MOMENT THEY BUY THEIR FIRST BARBIE WEDDING DRESS, UNTIL THE TIME THEY HONE IN ON WHICH MEN TO IMPRESS. ARE THEY PROGRAMMED TO LOVE THE BRIDE IN A PRISTINE WHITE GOWN? ARE THEY ON A LIFETIME WEDDING PREPARATION QUEST? IN THIS ISSUE, RAGMAG DISCUSSES THE REASONS BEHIND THE FETISH FOR LAVISH WEDDINGS.

WHY DO WOMEN SEEM MORE FASCINATED BY EXTRAVAGANT WEDDINGS?

66 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

onsumer capitalism rose in 1920s, drastically changed the patterns of production and consumption everywhere, particularly in the wedding industry, commoditizing the communal celebration of weddings into a necessary luxury product. Rapidly, individuals and firms provided a new range of services and even created modern traditions inspired by older customs to legitimize these new rituals and avoid any criticism regarding the concept of expensive weddings. By stimulating demand for expensive rings, gowns, flowers and gifts, they gradually transformed the sacred celebration into “a vehicle for business interests, class aspiration and fashion”. In particular, wedding planners, bridal consultants, jewelers, fashion designers, caterers, florists, photographers, make-up artists, hairdressers and many others successfully positioned themselves as a crucial part of the creation of the magical wedding. The bride and the groom fell for what the famous economist Veblen called, “Conspicuous wasteful consumption”, acquiring goods and services not for survival purposes but rather for the display of wealth and high social standing. Simply, since people don’t know the size of your

bank account, special occasions like weddings would be the ultimate time to flaunt your assets, with the expansion of credit cards and loans making this more achievable than ever. Of course, all of this couldn’t have reached millions of consumers if the media was not working hard to help deliver the “Happily Ever After” message, which mainly revolves around investing in a luxurious wedding and an expensive honeymoon. But why aren’t women and men equally affected by all this propaganda? Why do women seem more fascinated by extravagant weddings? Since they are more likely to express feelings and emotions, women are the number one consumers of goods supporting the “Love Culture”, everything from romantic movies (“chick flicks”), to soap operas, and even magazines. The latter were able to present themselves as the ultimate bride-guide, replacing mother, sister and best friend. Through the fantasy imagery, trend promotion and product pushing, they encourage the bride to imagine her personalized version of Disney’s fairytale events. This means that the must-have goods and services are depicted as accouterments to your “Big Day”.

mind, body + soul

Both “a source of power and pleasure for women” according to Mica Nava, cultural theorist, magazine bridal content works on delivering the illusion of a fairytale wedding, linking the purchase of these luxurious products to the achievement of ideal womanliness and ever-lasting bliss. On TV, the same message is transmitted on a daily basis: Big weddings are essential and to be sought-after. E channel covers the weddings of the rich and famous from A to Z and also does special reports of the most expensive celebrity weddings. Currently the wedding of Prince William dominates the headlines, encouraging women everywhere to envy Kate’s extravagant fairytale wedding celebration. Everything from the engagement ring to the guest list is available in detail and an official website (www. officialroyalwedding2011.org) was even created to keep the world up-todate with the extensive preparations. Wedding TV shows attract millions of viewers worldwide: Everything from interviews with experts in the industry to the live preparation of big budget weddings are just a few examples of the packaged, glowing images these shows transmit.

In Lebanon, the trend of everincreasingly lavish wedding marketing is big business: Daily wedding segments on morning shows, reality shows seeking to match couples and New Year surprise gifts including a dream wedding and a fabulous Honeymoon to lucky Lebanese couples. In Hollywood, weddings also have their share of the market, check out our review section (see speak hear no evil) for a special list of those. Hollywood films are perhaps one of the best ways to market, so imagine the impact on the very lucrative wedding industry. They don’t need the free PR, but they certainly get it from blockbuster films. Besides being a “love” consumer, some theories speculate that women tend to give greater importance to overthe-top weddings as it marks their change in status, hence warranting a big celebration. This can be traced back to the Victorian era, where women remained virgins until marriage and were ostensibly dedicating themselves to husband, home and future children. This positioned a big wedding as a reward for theses sacrifices. Interestingly, this trend did not vanish with later generations but on the contrary increased with women’s education and independence. There

is some conjecture that women think that having an elaborate wedding gives marriage a more legitimate status in the public eye. This implies that fancy weddings act as sort of “insurance”: The more money and time a couple spends on their wedding celebration, the less likely they are to divorce as the losses would be big. By default this means that if a couple gets married quickly without investing serious preparation time and resources, their marriage is less likely to last. Whether this is true or not, the link between big weddings and happy marriages continue to be a widespread popular belief, perhaps more on a subconscious level than before. Finally, women are raised on fairytale stories filled with fulfillment and magic: Cinderella, the idol of millions of little girls, was able to overcome all obstacles thrown in her path, and attends the ball where she meets her Prince Charming. As a reward for her tenacity, she enjoys marriage, wealth and happiness. Through Cinderella and other storybook heroines, women are taught to believe their wedding is then the opportunity to feel truly changed, even for a short time and enjoy their private idea of paradise. After all, the glass slipper is a popular wedding keepsake

WEDDINGS BY NUMBERS 315 The average number of Vegas weddings per day, this means 13 weddings per hour! 12 million dollars The price of the most expensive wedding dress in the world. Designed by Martin Katz Renee Strauss, the dress is full of highest quality diamonds. 100 million dollars The hefty price tag of Dubai’s 1981 royal wedding, widely said to be the most expensive wedding in recent history. The celebrations lasted for 7 days and united 20000 guests. 750 million people Spread over 74 countries followed Prince Charles and Lady Diana’s wedding.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

mirrormirror

TRULY BY LESLIE IDDISON

BRIDAL PRESENTATION FOR OUR SPECIAL COMMITMENT ISSUE, RAGMAG IS PUSHING YOUR DECISION MAKING SKILLS! WE HELP YOU CHOOSE YOUR BRIDAL STYLE AND SHOW YOU ALL THE TRICKS AND TOOLS YOU NEED TO GET THE PERFECT WEDDING DAY FACE! AS A BRIDETO-BE, YOU’VE PROBABLY PICTURED ALL YOUR WEDDING DAY DETAILS DOWN TO THE LAST ROSE PETAL... BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR MAKE-UP? NO DOUBT YOU’VE TAKEN TIME TO PLAN A WEDDING CELEBRATION THAT IS REFLECTIVE OF YOUR OWN PERSONAL STYLE. YOUR WEDDING DAY MAKE-UP SHOULD ALSO REFLECT THE AMBIENCE OF YOUR WEDDING. OBVIOUSLY, THE MAKE-UP YOU WEAR TO AN INTIMATE BEACH WEDDING WILL NOT BE THE SAME MAKE-UP YOU WEAR TO A BLACK-TIE AFFAIR. CHECK OUT OUR FAVOURITE BRIDAL LOOKS AND PREPARE TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE IN STYLE!

YOUR BRIDAL STYLE JENNY PACKHAM SS 2011 BRIDAL LOOKBOOK

ROMANTIC + DELICATE Wedding Pale pink petals and candlelight at twilight Gown Flowing and frilly with touches of antique lace accessorized with pearls Make-Up The key to this look is balanced features. Choose one colour and wear it in varying shades on eyes cheeks and lips. For a spring or summer wedding we suggest coral. Brush a soft shimmering peachy-coral shade across your eyelids. Select a subtle sun-kissed coral and build its intensity on the apples of your cheeks for a romantic flush. Finally a kiss of coral on your lips, topped with a sheer shimmering gloss.

We Love

• Make Up Forever Satiny Eyeshadow in #153 Peach • Les Tissages de Chanel Blush in Tweed Corail • Christian Dior Serum de Rouge in #650 Peach Serum • Dior Addict Gloss in #556 Coral Fantasy

68 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

YOUR BRIDAL STYLE

ULTRA GLAM + DRAMATIC Wedding A formal affair with no expense spared. Think crystal chandeliers, glimmering silverware and a work-of-art wedding cake. Gown Vera Wang, Vivienne Westwood… Your dress will be a real showstopper. The question won’t be will you have a train, but how many meters it will be! Make-Up For this look you’ll definitely need some added drama! Play up your eyes with a fun twist on a traditional smoky eye. Choose a rich jewel tone, like a warm bronze or plum. Blend it out with a matching smudgy eyeliner pencil and highlight your brow bone with a sheer shimmering shadow. Create contours by brushing the hollows of your cheeks with a neutral blush. Go easy on your lips with a medium-toned creamy lipstick.

We Love

• Make Up Forever Diamond Eyeshadow in Diamond Brown • Christian Dior Waterproof Eyeliner in Intense Brown • Lancôme Blush Subtil in Cappucine • Chanel Rouge Coco Lipstick in Beige

ABOVE: WHITE BY VERA WANG SS 2011

YOUR BRIDAL STYLE

FUN + FUNKY Wedding Crisp white linens with pops of punchy colours, floral arrangements are orange orchids, fuchsia peonies and yellow calla lilies Gown Clean cut with an asymmetrical silhouette paired with some edgy silver earrings

We Love

• Guerlain Meteorites Compact Pressed Powder • Lancôme Artliner in Noir • Christian Dior Diorshow Mascara • Make Up Forever Rouge Artist Intense Lipcolour in #36 Satiny Fuchsia

Make-Up This look lets your lips do the talking. Create a perfect canvas of smooth, matte skin. A high quality pressed powder will be your best friend on your big day. Use a liquid eyeliner to create sleek definition that wings out slightly at the corners. Two coats of the blackest mascara and your eyes are ready. Next, choose an intense pink blush and use a fluffy brush to apply two sheer coats to the apples of your cheeks. Finally, line your lips and apply a fun fuchsia lipstick and blot with a tissue to really lock in the colour.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

mirrormirror

YOUR BRIDAL STYLE

BEACHY + BOHEMIAN Wedding An intimate outdoor event with sand and the sunset setting the perfect backdrop for your big day Gown A simple silk sarong will do the trick. Skip the sandals and go barefoot in the sand with an orchid pinned in your hair Make-Up Bronzed and beautiful, this look is all about showing some skin. Skip foundation and choose a dewy tinted moisturizer. Next, get that golden glow with a sheer shimmering bronzer. Use a fluffy brush to apply the bronzer to your temples, cheeks, chin and down the bridge of your nose. Some waterproof mascara and a sheer watermelon lip gloss and you’ll be ready to sail off into the sunset!

We Love

• Christian Dior Hydra Life Pro-Youth Tinted Moisturizer • Guerlain Terracotta Light Sheer Bronzing Powder • Clarins Colour Quench Lip balm in #7

We like Guerlain’s foundation for both texture and shade. Get the perfect canvas for your makeup by starting with this product. La magie de Guerlain!

70 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

new + now

SUMMER SPA-CIALS IN BEIRUT

The Spa at Four Seasons Hotel Beirut is now offering 2 new Sodashi treatments! In addition to the long list of facials and massages available, The Spa will also be offering the Sodashi Sun Soother, a summer treatment for sun-burnt skin. The first new treatment is the Chakra Balancing Treatment, which brings the body’s seven main Chakras into alignment through a fluid combination of massage, specific essential oil blends and healing crystals. Working subtly on the energetic body with profound effects, this truly unique experience induces a feeling of calm and harmony, resulting in an increase in overall wellbeing. The second new addition is the Samadara™ Ultimate Age-Defying Facial which uses a sequence of anti-aging techniques rooted in Ayurvedic healing traditions that are designed to reawaken the skin’s natural healing energies. This intensely hydrating and nourishing treatment increases firmness and elasticity, diminishing the appearance of fine lines and restoring a youthful glow. A Rose Quartz Crystal facial massage enables the powerful Samadara™ Ultimate Age-Defying Crème to penetrate deeply into the skin to produce the best results.

ARE YOU

HUNGRY? Fuddruckers franchising company EMA has signed a new development agreement with Infinity Services & Support L.L.C. to bring the World’s greatest hamburgers to Beriut. Fuddruckers originated in San Antonio, Texas in 1980 with one mission, to serve the “World’s Greatest Hamburger”. Fuddruckers quickly became famous for serving only the freshest ground beef that is prepared daily, and baking the hamburger buns twice daily to ensure the freshest quality. The garden fresh Hamburger Topping Bar

and choices of cheeses and sauces allowed guests to customize and build their own favorite hamburger. For the past 30 years Fuddruckers has proudly been the “Home of the World’s Greatest Hamburger”. “Fuddruckers has experienced tremendous success and guest loyalty over the years; we are excited to give our guests access to an exciting new Fuddruckers restaurant in Beirut very soon” said Elie Maalouf and George Karam the Managing Partners of this project.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH The 2011 Annual Scientific Meeting of the Lebanese Pulmonary Society highlights increasing prevalence of respiratory diseases in Lebanon and reveals alarming results of first study on Beirut air pollution. Key air pollutants designated by the World Health Organization to be particularly health-hazardous were found to be alarmingly high in Beirut, with levels rising since 2009 when the first study assessing their prevalence was launched by the National Council for Scientific Research’s Air Quality Research Unit, comprising teams from the American University of Beirut and the University of Saint Joseph. The results were unveiled at the opening of the 2011

72 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Lebanese Pulmonary Society Congress. The Congress’ opening ceremony shed light on the air pollution study results, which outlined high levels of Nitrogen Dioxide (NO2) and Particulate Matter (PM), specifically PM10 and PM2.5, that are well-known to highly impact health and increase general health costs. The results also identify traffic as the main culprit. “Studies in Europe have shown that living near busy roads may be responsible for 15% of Asthma in Children and possibly a similar or higher percentage of other common chronic diseases in adults such as Asthma, COPD and lung cancer,” said Dr. Marie-Louise. Coussa-Koniski, Head of the Congress Scientific Committee.

GET CRAZY Lebanon will be the only country in the Middle East hosting Crazy Horse Paris World tour “Forever Crazy” celebrating their 60th anniversary brought to you by SOLICET at Casino du Liban starting June 9th until 19th of June 2011. Le Crazy Horse Paris is dedicated to celebrating “La Femme”. The show combines dazzling dancers acting out universal fantasies making it hard to determine where skin ends and the reflections begin… This sensual performance engages the imagination as much as the eye! Le Crazy Horse de Paris collaborated on numerous shows and creative projects including: Christian Louboutin, David Lynch, Roberto Cavalli, Paco Rabanne, Louis Azzaro and Karl Lagerfeld. The 80 minute show consists of naughtily delicious and surprising choreographic acts, sensually performed by a total of 10 performance artists. “Forever Crazy” was conceived as a tribute to Alain Bernardin, the founder of the Crazy Horse. The show fully preserves the cabaret’s artistic heritage while adding a touch of modernity, humor and sophistication. Tickets are available at Virgin ticketing. For private & corporate show reservation, call 01/494443 between 9am and 5pm.

YOU’RE MY MUSE HP has launched a redesigned consumer notebook PC portfolio. With updates across the HP Pavilion line, the new notebooks draw inspiration from culture, art and fashion and build on HP’s “MUSE” 2.0 (materials, usability, sensory appeal and experiences) design philosophy. MUSE includes a mix of materials such as metals, alloys and plastics; easy-to-use features for improved usability; a blend of artisan elements for sensory appeal and intuitive features for simple experiences. First introduced in May 2010, the “MUSE” philosophy includes impressive features in the Pavilion line in 2011 with

certain notebooks incorporating Beats Audio™, HP CoolSense, HP TrueVision HD webcam and SimplePass. “HP’s new Pavilion notebooks provide best-in-class audio, stylish metal and gloss finishes and advanced cooling technology,” Salim Ziade, General Manager, HP Personal Systems Group, Middle East, Mediterranean and Africa (MEMA). “The result is a line of notebooks that provide the best combination of power, entertainment and style available.”

A NEW DIRECTION HP unveiled the industry’s first touchscreen desktop PC to feature a 60 degree reclining display. With the first ever mega tilt angle, the new HP TouchSmart610 Consumer PC reclines from upright to almost flat, giving consumers and businesses the freedom to adjust the display’s position for the most comfortable user experience. The new TouchSmart610 Consumer PC features a diagonal high-definition display that reclines up to 60 degrees and tilts up to five degrees forward. Guided by pioneering HP ergonomics research, the reclining capability provides increased comfort for longer-term usage, making playing games or engaging customers

easy. The wide-angle, LED backlit LCD screen provides optimal viewing angles, even when reclined, and users can take advantage of the 180 degree wide-arc swivel to easily share the screen with others. Advanced touch technology recognises fingers as they come in contact with the display for a more accurate response, allowing users to think with their fingers. The TouchSmart’s simple one-cord setup and slim, all-in-one design saves space, allowing it to fit seamlessly into any room or business environment. For a clean and uncluttered appearance, control features are conveniently located to the right and left sides of the display.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

emperor’s new clothes

COMMITTING TO VARIETY BY SABINA LLEWELLYN-DAVIES

Eclectic costume jewelry for the avant-garde bride (and bridesmaid) by Vanina

PHOTOGRAPHY JASON ZAMORA

Not every girl wants a traditional white wedding with dripping pearls and diamonds. Some want to show off their individuality and self-expression with a funky brooch, a striking tiara or a snazzy pin. If you are planning to walk down the aisle, and are looking for a unique piece of unconventional bijoux, then meet Tatiana Fayad and Joanne Hayek, the design duo behind Vanina. Friends since the age of fourteen these girls spent their time growing up designing quirky jewelry, using old coins, buttons and vintage stuff combined with odd bits and pieces. The results: unique one-off designs. “We wanted to create pieces that were different, just for fun,” says Fayad, who is inspired by films, books and nature. “But our main inspiration remains Beirut itself and its people.” Their 2011 collection features a feminine and humoristic mixture of themes and styles, always carrying a message…be creative! “It is

74 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

very important for the bride to be comfortable in her dress and confident about her look,” says Fayad. “It’s a little twist that will change her look.” During their first year at university - Tatiana studies marketing and advertising at Saint Joseph University and Joanne is an architecture student at the American University of Beirut - the young duo designed jewelry just for themselves. Family and friends loved the results and encouraged the girls to share their quirky creations with others. They launched their first collection in 2007. It was a sell-out. Orders rolled in and the girls decided to set up their own label. Their newly minted label was named Vanina, inspired by a song by Dave, a singer from Holland. Jewelry is what they started off with, and it is still the biggest part of their collection. Now their collection also features shoes, bags, dresses, t-shirts, and belts. Each design is unique and the creations vary from one week to the next. The duo creates according to

whim reusing old bits and pieces found locally, or new stuff picked up abroad. “Sometimes we find out that a celebrity has worn a Vanina necklace or a pair of earrings in a video clip, or a shoot. We once came across a photo of a celebrity in a European magazine wearing one of our belts,” says Hayek. So if you’re itching to trot down the aisle with a difference get your hands on these quirky designs,100 percent Lebanese and totally affordable; prices ranging from 12 to 350 dollars. Their designs also make great untraditional gifts for the maid of honor and the bridesmaids. Fayad and Hayek are still so young, 23, but, with years of design experience under their belt, these bold girls have big plans for the future. Now selling in Lebanon and the Middle East, and exporting to Europe, Asia and the States, they hope one day to open their own Vanina shop in their hometown of Beirut

Get Your Own Twist Tie Cream (Saifi) BHV mode (City Mall, Dora) Kulte by Kika (Verdun) Eclat de Mode (ABC Ashrafieh) Tel 01/901097 vaninadesign.com

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

MICHAEL KORS SS 2011

COPY

CAT Mix N’ Match Real Runway

RAGMAG SHOWS YOU HOW TO REPLICATE THAT RUNWAY TREND! SEE OUR TAKES ON HOW TO MAKE THE READY TO WEAR, ACTUALLY WEARABLE. STYLED BY STEPHANIE AOUN

76 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Agatha elastic cuff bracelet, metal.

YVES SAINT LAURENT RESORT 2011

HALSTON SS 2011

Straight Jacket This En Ville orange

jacket is our coup de coeur this issue, available at Label Queen 307.000 LBP

Oversized is still going strong, and we’ve got this gorgeous bag available at Zara to prove it! 189.000 LBP

Yellow Submarine You sure won’t go

unnoticed in this Nuj Novakhett skirt, available at Label Queen 462.000 LBP

You’re Waisting Away

ROKSANDA ILINCIC PRE-FALL 2011

Futuristic flashy figure hugging dress by Nuj Novakhett, Label Queen 660.000 LBP

Sebastian stilettos 760.000 LBP

It’s a Shoe In!

Zara 169.000 LBP

Agatha strap bracelet with ball fastening, leather and metal 122.000 LBP

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

PAUL AND SHARK

Navy Seals

Sleeveless blue and white striped shirt, Massimo Dutti 65.000 LBP

Agatha Strap bracelet with drop, leather and metal. 112.500 LBP

PRADA SS 2011

You Slacker!

Agatha long necklace with pavĂŠ-set beads and charms. 135.000 LBP

Classic navy pants, Zara 69.000 LBP

Hey, Short Stuff Dare to bare those legs ladies with these striped shorts available at Massimo Dutti 79.000 LBP

Basic striped shirt with flower details, Zara 39.000 LBP

Dance the Polka... Dot Sebastian stilettos, 1.015.000 LBP

78 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Add a twist of sexiness to your outfit with these peep-toe heels, Zara 169.000 LBP

Polka dots are a classic, and we just feel in love with this Massimo Dutti skirt 195.000 LBP

CHRISTIAN DIOR SS 2011

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

Bvlgari, Dark Havana acetate sunglasses, blue sapphire and emerald glass stones.

Agatha hoops threaded with beads, wood and metal.

D&G SS 2011

Wooden bangles available at Mango 39.000 LBP each.

Crocheted Cutie

No Need for Knees Beautiful floral

This crochet vest has 70â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flair. Available at Zara 49.000 LBP

summer dress by Zara 99.000 LBP

Vintage inspired bag by Mango 159.000 LBP

OSCAR DE LA RENTA SS 2011

Bvlgari, Isabella Rossellini chevron pattern calf leather handbags.

Sandals in the Sand

Pretty Polly-Anna

Massimo Dutti 175.000 LBP

80 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Get in touch with your inner flower power with this Massimo Dutti dress 235.000 LBP

Sebastian kitten heels 760.000 LBP

D&G SS 2011

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

BY STÉPHANIE AOUN

THE GOWNS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO COMMIT IF YOU’VE GOT COMMITMENT ISSUES (LIKE WE DO), THEN THE THOUGHT OF A WHITE DRESS SENDS YOU REELING. RAGMAG PICKED OUR TOP NOTCH CHOICES FOR GOWNS OF THE BEAU MONDE. THESE ARE THE WEDDING CREATIONS THAT MAKE THE THOUGHT OF WALKING THE GREEN MILE, UGH WE MEAN THE WEDDING AISLE, WORTHWHILE.

GRACE KELLY + PRINCE RAINIER April 19, 1956

Grace Kelly met Prince Rainier in May, 1955, when Grace was attending the Cannes Film Festival and had agreed to be photographed with the Prince for Paris Match. From then on, the fairytale romance took off and the two married on April 19, 1956, at St. Nicholas Cathedral. Prince Rainier wore a Napoleonic military type of uniform that he designed himself. Kelly’s wedding dress, designed by MGM’s Academy Award– winning Helen Rose, was laboured over for six weeks by 36 seamstresses. It was a highnecked, long-sleeved gown with a fitted torso and billowing skirt made of 25 yards of silk taffeta, 100 yards of silk net, peau de soie, tulle and 125-year-old Brussels rose point lace. She wore a Juliet cap that was decorated with seed pearls, orange blossoms, and a veil of 90 yards of tulle. Grace carried a small Bible and a bouquet of lilies-of-the-valley.

82 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

emperor’s new clothes

MELANIA KNAUSS + DONALD TRUMP January 22, 2005

Donald and Melania met in 1999 at a fashion event. Breaking up in 2000, they reconciled later. Donald proposed to Melania in April, 2004. The two wed on January 22, 2005, at 7:00 pm, at Bethesdaby-the-Sea Church in Palm Beach, Florida. Knauss’ $200,000 white wedding gown appeared on the February 2005 cover of Vogue magazine. Melania’s 50 pound wedding dress was designed by John Galliano for Christian Dior with more than 1,500 hand-stitched crystal rhinestones and pearls. The dress had a 13-foot train, a 16foot veil and took more than 1,000 hours to make. In place of a bouquet, she carried rosary beads that were a family heirloom. Melania changed into a sexy Vera Wang, sleek tulle dress after she had the traditional first dance with Donald.

DIANA SPENCER + PRINCE CHARLES July 29, 1981

Although Charles first met Lady Diana Frances Spencer in 1977, while visiting Diana’s home as the companion of her elder sister, he did not consider her romantically until the summer of 1980. One year later, on July 29, 1981, Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer were married in St Paul’s Cathedral. Hailed as one of the iconic wedding dresses of all time, the meringue gown was worthy of a fairytale with puffed sleeves and a frilly neckline. It was designed for the late Princess by Elizabeth and David Emanuel, made from silk taffeta and decorated with lace, sequins, 10,000 pearls and hand embroidery. It also included a sumptuous 25 ft train, and the bride, who carried a cascading bouquet, wore a veil reaching eight metres. The groom wore the full dress uniform of a naval commander.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

GWEN STEFANI + GAVIN ROSSDALE September 14, 2002

During mid-year of 1995, No Doubt and alternative band Goo Goo Dolls went on tour opening for popular rock band Bush (then Bush X), where Stefani met Bush ] guitarist and lead singer Gavin Rossdale. These love birds wed seven years later at St. Paul’s Church in London. Stefani stayed true to her offbeat style in a custom-made pinkand-white silk faille Christian Dior gown, complete with an antique lace veil, designed by her friend, John Galliano. Her eight attendants wore bias-cut silk dresses from the Christian Dior Bridal Collection. Stefani carried a delicate bouquet of phalaenopsis orchids and her grandmother’s Catholic prayer book down the aisle. The fashionforward singer, who has since transitioned into design, wore a bright lipstick that echoed the magenta hue detailing the bottom of her hand-painted Dior by John Galliano gown.

KATIE HOLMES + TOM CRUISE November 18, 2006

After dating for only two months, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got engaged on June 17, 2005, when Tom popped the question atop the Eiffel tower in Paris. The wedding took place in the 15th-century Odescalchi Castle on the southern shore of Lake Bracciano in Italy. Clothes for everyone in the wedding were reportedly designed by Giorgio Armani. The bride wore a Giorgio Armani off-the-shoulder gown adorned with Valenciennes lace and Swarovski crystals. She carried a bouquet of calla lilies for the ceremony and wore a champagne coloured evening gown for the reception that followed. The groom wore a navy two-button Armani tux. The couple’s seven-month-old daughter, Suri Cruise, wore an ivory silk tulle Armani frock and was carried in the processional by brother Connor Cruise

84 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

www.phoeniciabeirut.com THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

emperor’s new clothes

WE KNOW YOU’VE GOT CHOICES- A MILLION DIFFERENT HANDBAG COMPANIES POP UP WHEN YOU THINK BRIDAL. IF YOU’RE GEARING UP FOR THE BIG COMMITMENT, WE’RE THINKING YOU SHOULD DO IT WITH A LITTLE FLAIR. WE’RE BIG SARAH’S BAG FANS FOR MORE REASON THAN ONE. WE LIKE THE GIVEBACK-TO-THE-COMMUNITY SPIRIT THAT SARAH’S BAG HAS AND WELL, LET’S BE HONEST, WHEN HAS BEING ALTRUISTIC EVER LOOKED THIS GOOD? THIS YEAR, YOUR WEDDING AND YOUR BRIDAL PARTY CAN LOOK AND FEEL STELLAR SINCE THEY’LL BE CARRYING THE BOOM BOOM POW THAT YOU CAN’T GET ANYWHERE OTHER THAN SARAH’S BAG.

86 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

PHOTOGRAPHY JASON ZAMORA

Get Your Bridal Funk On Sarah’s Bag Achrafieh, Tabaris, 100 Liban street, Mhanna bldg, 2nd floor Beirut 01/575585 03/640038 www.sarahsbag.com THE COMMITMENT ISSUE 87

the

PLUNGE Set Director ALEXANDRA KAHWAGI Makeup by CHRISTIAN ABU HAIDAR Hair by ROGER GABRIEL Model JANINA HOLESOVSKA

JEWELRY BY SWAROVSKI 88 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

GOWN BY AZZI & OSTA

RAGMAG | MAY 2011 90 GOWN BY AZZI & OSTA

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE 91 GOWN BY MISSAK HAJIAVEDIKIAN

RAGMAG | MAY 2011 92 GOWN BY LARISHKA

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

RAGMAG | MAY 2011 94 GOWN BY LARISHKA

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE 95 GOWN BY EMILY CREMONA

96 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE 97 GOWN BY EMILY CREMONA

RAGMAG | MAY 2011 98 GOWN BY MISSAK HAJIAVEDIKIAN

99 GOWN BY CAMILLE ISSA

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

RAGMAG | MAY 2011 100 GOWN BY EMILY CREMONA

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

101

RAGMAG | MAY 2011 102 GOWN BY EMILY CREMONA

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

103

RAGMAG | MAY 2011 104 GOWN BY EMILY CREMONA

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

105

COMMITMENT ISSUES

GETTING TO THE ROOT OF THE MATTER

BY J.E.N.

cientists have long struggled to uncover the secrets behind commitment. The ever increasing amount of research is staggering and hence the “science of commitment” is more than just a short affair or fling. To get to the bottom of this mystery, scientists are exploring different angles such as biological factors that may impact marital bliss and psychological responses to factors like flirting. Surprisingly enough (or maybe not), some people are naturally better at avoiding temptation than others. But apparently women and men who want a relationship to work can “train” themselves to be Mrs. or Mr. Commitment.

106 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Biologist Hasse Walum (Karolinkska Institute in Sweden) investigated a gene linked to the bonding hormone, vasopressin, present in the brain (it’s basically the fidelity gene). Using 552 sets of twins as the study base, Walum discovered that men with a variation in this gene had more marital problems and hence unhappy wives, or were simply less likely to tie the knot. And men unlucky enough to have two copies of the gene variant had major relationship woes in comparison to other men. Coincidence or hard science? Well Walum did state that “it’s difficult to use this information to predict any future behavior in men.” And so he is taking the research a step further and is

studying women to get further data. John Lydon, a psychologist at McGill University, is also passionate about commitment. In one study, Lydon had married men and women, known for their commitment, to rate the attractiveness of photos of people of the opposite sex. Like normal human beings, they rated the most appealing people the highest. But this is when the interesting twist comes: Lydon then showed them more photos but this time stated that the man or women in the photo wanted to meet them. Suddenly all participants rated those photos lower. This was interpreted as a natural attempt to dismiss temptation that might jeopardize their current relationships.

the final frontier

Florida State University conducted research that came to the same conclusion. The researchers planted a 21 year old woman in the lab and instructed her not to flirt or use makeup or perfume and pose as a fellow student. The men were regularly asked to rate her attractiveness. Previous research has indicated that women are most attractive during the fertile stage of the menstrual cycle. And yet in this experiment, the men in a relationship rated her as less attractive, again as a sort of protection mechanism. Back at McGill other research focused on 300 men and women to gain more insight into cheating. Half the participants were told to imagine flirting with someone they thought was sexy while the other half had to imagine a regular encounter. They all then had to do fill in the blank puzzles. The puzzles were a crafty means to see what was going on in their minds on a subconscious level. The “regular encounter” group came up with random words while the “flirting” group filled in the blanks in a way that revealed

concerns about commitment. While not a gauge for what happens in reality, it does shed light on how one may possibly pick up on early signs of relationship threats. Further studies showed that women and men handle relationship threats differently. Participants in a study were in a waiting room and a beautiful actress or handsome actor started flirting. The participants were later called into a room and asked questions about relationships and how they’d react to infidelity. The women who had been flirting back were rather forgiving to the point of making excuses for their male partner whereas the men who were flirting back were rather judgmental and intolerant. This shows that the women felt the need to protect while the men were urged to show their commitment. Lydon explains, “We think the men in these studies may have had commitment, but the women had the contingency plan — the attractive alternative sets off the alarm bell... Women implicitly code that as a threat. Men don’t.”

Can you teach a man to be faithful? Researchers wanted to find out and hence set up an experiment where men had to tell them what they’d do if they met a gorgeous woman. They also had to play a virtual-reality game featuring four rooms (two of which had traces of a sexy woman). The men trained to avoid temptation weren’t drawn to these two rooms as much as the other men (with a 37 percent difference). Is love the sole glue in a relationship? Arthur Aron at Stony Brook University thinks how your partner improves your life and prompts you to better yourself have an impact. He calls this “selfexpansion”. He asked couples questions about their relationship and partner and then got some to do dull tasks together and others to do challenging yet silly tasks. The couples who engaged in the challenging task expressed more relationship satisfaction afterwards. Aron is keen to explore this further since he believes “self-expansion” is a key part of long-term attraction and adds spice to commitment

BIOLOGIST HASSE WALUM (KAROLINKSKA INSTITUTE IN SWEDEN) INVESTIGATED A GENE LINKED TO THE BONDING HORMONE, VASOPRESSIN, PRESENT IN THE BRAIN (IT’S BASICALLY THE FIDELITY GENE). BELOW: CHEMICAL STRUCTURE OF VASOPRESSIN.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

107

the final frontier

I DO, VIRTUALLY SAY

COMMITMENT HAS GONE CYBER BY J.E.N.

SAYING “I DO” HAS TAKEN ON A NEW DIMENSION LATELY. WHY DO THINGS THE OLD-FASHIONED AND EXPECTED WAY WHEN YOU CAN TURN TO THE ALLURE OF TECHNOLOGY? WHO NEEDS REAL PEOPLE WHEN YOU CAN MARRY A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER OR EVEN HAVE A TOTALLY VIRTUAL WEDDING OVER THE INTERNET? COMMITMENT HAS GONE CYBER, FOR BETTER OR WORSE.

he internet abounds with websites that let you have a virtual wedding. “A virtual wedding, sometimes called an online wedding or chat wedding, is an unofficial marriage between two persons. It is not a legally binding marriage, and does not fall under any regulations or legal requirements. Weddings online, cyber marriage, internet wedding, virtual wedding chapel, marriage online, virtual marriage, get married online - are other names.” (virtualweddings.com) Via these websites you can propose to someone, invite guests, say I do, have an interactive wedding, get an online certificate and even get a virtual divorce. While most are just for fun and have no legal recognition, this trend seems to be gaining popularity given the sheer number of websites that provide such services. And the best thing is that some have a “no discrimination” policy and “allow marriages between anyone or anything” (as virtualvow.com so eloquently put it). Thanks to this lack of discrimination, I am now happily married to my laptop. My laptop has stood by me through thick and thin and hence it is only right that its commitment is reciprocated with another form of commitment. All the fun aside, the first serious virtual wedding took place on the 8th of May 1996 and made use of graphics. The beauty of a virtual wedding is that cuts back on planning time and can easily include all your friends and family

108 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

without your having to worry about geographical boundaries. With the option of chat room and media players not only can your guests watch but participate too. This is attracting couples who are really getting married. Some are opting to webcast the real life ceremony in real time so more people can witness their special moment. Webcasting is “a broadcast of an event or a recording of an event over the World Wide Web.” Live Vows is a company dedicated to the webcasting of weddings in part of the USA. Services include providing a web link for the webcast, filming the ceremony on-location and streaming the video, unlimited viewers and an archive of the webcast. You can even splurge on email invitations, a guestbook, the chance to greet online guests, gift registry links and more. Other firms provide similar services and some couples with a bit of tech know-how opt to handle the webcasting on their own using free webcasting software or portals and a camera. If a non-legally binding wedding or a webcast of your real wedding aren’t part of your dream day, then the internet can make planning your wedding much easier with plenty of online databases, directories and more. You can even benefit from websites that let you “safely store and organize details like guest lists, budgets, RSVPs, calendars, tasks, vendor and venue information and much more”

(myweddingworkbook.com). While a virtual wedding might not appeal to everyone, it is a quaint way to celebrate a union that started online via a social networking website and invite friends you made online. And as with everything done online, the boundaries and possibilities are far more flexible. Till death do us part or till logout do us part?

LOVE BEYOND BOUNDARIES In late 2009, a 27 year old Japanese man nicknamed Sal 9000 married a video game called Nene Anegasaki. Nene, from the Nintendo DS game Love Plus had Sal 9000 totally smitten with her docile nature, pixelated beauty and warm smile. He married her in a live ceremony attended by thousands online and presided upon by a religious man who gave his blessing. Sal thinks Nene is his dream woman and feels no need to find a real woman, because “her character changes to my liking as we talk and travel to different places.” The first human-avatar union, Sal professes “I love this character, not a machine.” While seemingly insane, Sal “understand[s] 100 percent that this is a game. I understand very well that I cannot marry her physically or legally.”

The Outdoors, Leisure and Lifestyle Event

22 - 26 JUNE 2011 BIEL - Beirut, Lebanon

.. .

Why Outdoor Lebanon?

Organized by:

Under the Auspices of:

Sell your products to thousands of lebanese and tourist visitors Demonstrate your products through live shows and competitions

Ministry of Youth and Sports

Supported by:

Showcase your brand through extensive media coverage

Venue:

¿ÉæÑd ‘ É¡JÒNPh ó«°üdG áë∏°SCG QÉŒq áHÉ≤f RÇA

NTS

S Y N DIC AT

D’A R M

DE E S E T M U N I TI O N S

SSE

COM

L I BA

D ES

CHA

Official TV:

Book your space at:

www.outdoorlebanon.com

IFP Group Building, 56th Str. Hazmieh, P.O.Box. 55576, Beirut, Lebanon. Tel: + 961 5 959 111, Fax: + 961 5 959 888, Email: info@ifpexpo.com THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

109

see, speak, +hear no evil SPECIAL WEDDING REVIEW

BY YOUMNA CHAGOURY

MOST PEOPLE THINK OF WEDDING MOVIES AS A FANTASTIC WAY TO GET IN THE MOOD FOR PLANNING YOUR BIG DAY. YOU CAN GLEAN INSPIRATION FOR THE PERFECT DRESS, PSYCHE UP FOR MEETING THE IN-LAWS, CATCH IDEAS FOR CATERING DISPLAYS, FIND YOUR FIRST DANCE SONG, AND YES, EVEN PLAN THE BEST BACHELOR PARTY. RAGMAG BRINGS YOU A LIST OF OUR FAVE WEDDING MOVIES WITH TWO COMMON CHARACTERISTICS: THEY’RE FUNNY AND THEY DEPICT WEDDINGS AS THEY REALLY ARE – CATASTROPHIC!

My Best Friend’s Wedding

(1997)

Starring Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney + Cameron Diaz

Julianne and Michael have been best friends for years, with a marriage backup pact: If neither of them is married by the time they’re 28, they’ll tie the knot. When Michael calls and announces he’s getting married in a few days, Julianne has an epiphany and realizes that she truly loves him. Mayhem ensues since she’s ready to do anything to get him back.

Why we love it

We believe in second chances. Of course we’d like to just know whether or not we should grab an opportunity, marry that man or take that job, but hey, we’re human, and we make mistakes. So we really like the fact that we can try and patch things up. “This is my whole life’s happiness. I have to be ruthless”

The Runaway Bride

(1999)

Starring Julia Roberts + Richard Gere

Like everyone else, Maggie has a “thing”, something that characterizes her in the eyes of her family and friends: She dumps men at the altar. After 3 failed attempts, Maggie prepares to give marriage another try. That’s when Ike, a ruthless reporter, hears about her and tracks her down for a big story, waiting for her to leave yet another man.

Why we love it

It’s never too late to realize you’re making a mistake. Sometimes people stay together for fear of ending up alone, or because what we know and are used to are comforting. We say better be alone than in bad company. Know yourself and what you want before you take the plunge. “I run - sometimes ride - away from things. When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody who didn’t have any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other person’s fault, because I had done everything to convince him that I was exactly what he wanted.” 110 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

Starring Hugh Grant + Andie MacDowell

The movie follows Charles and a bunch of his friends through their attendance at other people’s weddings. With constant bad timing for love stories and a rather comic death, Charles plays cat and mouse with his incarnation of perfection, Carrie.

Why we love it

This particular movie is the one that doesn’t show people longing for marriage as the ONLY the desperate mid-thirties women. There are straight men, there are gays and there are ones who just don’t believe in marriage. “Do you think - after we’ve dried off, after we’ve spent lots more time together - you might agree not to marry me? And do you think not being married to me might maybe be something you could consider doing for the rest of your life?”

The Wedding Crashers

(2005)

Starring Sandler + Drew Barrymore

Robbie, an 80’s wedding singer, is left at the altar the day of his own ceremony. Julia, a waitress at the same weddings, is engaged to a Wall Street broker that is only marrying her out of respect for the years she spent with him before he accrued his wealth. Robbie falls for Julia and plans on changing her mind about her wedding.

Why we love it

It’s a real romantic comedy! Adam Sandler blowing a fuse at a wedding and singing, “Love Stinks” is priceless. There’s love, guaranteed laughter and some hidden little truths that will give weddings (and dating!) a whole new twist. “Why would you want to dance with someone who doesn’t want to dance with you?”

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

Starring Nia Vardalos, John Corbett + Michael Constantine

Toula Portokalos is a young Greek-American woman whose potential marriage date has long expired. She happens to fall in love with an unlikely American. After struggling to make her family accept a non-Greek son-in-law, she now has to face her wedding day… à la Greek!

Why we love it

Because were it a big fat Lebanese wedding, not a single thing would change. Plus, the issue of a mixed marriage is the eternal Lebanese question: Is love stronger than social pressure and tradition? We really want to believe it is. “I have 27 first cousins. Just 27 first cousins alone! And my whole family is big and loud. And everybody is in each other’s lives and business. All the time! Like, you never just have a minute alone, just to think, cause we’re always together, just eating, eating, eating! The only other people we know are Greeks, cause Greeks marry Greeks to breed more Greeks, to be loud, breeding Greek-eaters!” THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

111

CHECK BY BRYAN BORZYKOWSKI

Death Cab for Cutie Codes and Keys

If you find yourself wondering what happened to Death Cab for Cutie’s guitars on their new record, Codes and Keys, you’re not alone. Unlike with Narrow Stairs, the band’s 2008 release, their latest puts a muzzle on their melancholic axe riffs. “It’s not a guitar-based record,” Ben Gibbard told Spin last October. “I don’t care if people don’t like it.” Of course, “guitar-based record” is all relative. The group’s latest isn’t an ambient record that’s come out of left field — they’re still playing the same sweet infectious pop as always. If anything, the disc sounds more like their big major label hit Plans, where keyboards and other atmospheric noises drove the disc. In an interview with a U.S. radio station, Nick Harmer had this to say about the toned down axes: “We didn’t want to get locked into a record where that’s two guitars, bass and drums,” he says. “Guitar plays more of a textural role.”

a catchy riff appearing seconds into the song. But it’s the same type of soft soothing tune that the band has become famous for.

Either way, the group’s seventh disc still delivers a soothing collection of infectious pop tunes. Single You are a Tourist happens to be the most guitar heavy song on the disc, with

Title track Codes and Keys is a haunting piano number that’s nearly as delicate as their popular 2005 track I will Follow You Into the Dark. Besides pumping up the keys

112 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

see, speak, + hear no evil

and ambient sounds, it ultimately doesn’t deviate much from their last couple discs — though there are some stunning strings on the title track. “We had some beautiful arrangements written for it,” Gibbard told Spin. “It’s been really amazing to hear it come to life.”

SINGLE YOU ARE A TOURIST HAPPENS TO BE THE MOST GUITAR HEAVY SONG ON THE DISC, WITH A CATCHY RIFF APPEARING SECONDS INTO THE SONG. BUT IT’S THE SAME TYPE OF SOFT SOOTHING TUNE THAT THE BAND HAS BECOME FAMOUS FOR.

EMMYLOU HARRIS

TV ON THE RADIO

Emmylou Harris often uses her dreamy, country pipes to sing other people’s songs, but not this time — she’s written almost all of her latest disc herself. There are a lot of beautiful, twangy songs, but the standout is Darlin’ Kate, a touching tribute to her friend and famous folkie Kate McGarrigle.

Most critics agreed that TV on the Radio’s 2008 disc was the best of the year. That’s a hard act to follow, but the Brooklyn-based rock group manages to pull it off. The record is sunnier than their last one, perhaps thanks to their move to LA, but it’s just as engaging, catchy and quirky. Check out the second track, Keep Your Heart.

Hard Bargain

Nine Types of Light

THE TREWS

SUM 41

Canada’s blandest band does it again. The Trews made it big because of their hard rock riffs and radio-friendly vocals, but they may be one of the most boring groups on the planet. Their latest isn’t any better. You’ll hear songs like One By One come on in the car, but be careful — you’re guaranteed to zone out as you’re driving.

Sum 41 are a long way from their bubblegum punk pop of 2001’s All Killer No Filler. These days, lead singer Deryck Whibley is singing about his divorce from Avril Lavigne, while the band tries some aggressive metal riffs and Green Day-like operatic strings on for size. Unfortunately, they don’t have the musical depth of Green Day, and the album ends up sounding weak.

Screaming Bloody Murder

Hope and Ruin

WIZ KHALIFA Rolling Papers

This year’s underground hip-hop darling is Pittsburgh Wiz Khalifa, who released his first mixtape in 2006. His major label debut is all about women, drugs and spending money, but its soft, infectious raps and pleasant instrumentation makes this easy to listen to. He hasn’t proven he’s the next big thing, but this disc is good start.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

113

The Last Lecture

Randy Pausch

and

Why you should read this book

weep read’em BY AMAL CHAABAN

People need help to see the glass as half-full

Everyone has a low point in life. Points where we just look around at the detritus of a life lived and say “Ok, I am done”. Randy Pausch never had the chance to reach that point. Diagnosed with cancer in the prime of his life, the late MIT professor decided to deliver his last lecture, record it and transcribe it into a book. What follows is truly inspirational as the video went viral and the book became a bestseller. The Last Lecture is a book of life lessons made real

with examples from the author’s own world. He takes common sense adages like, “Never give up your dreams” or “Be grateful for what you have”, adds an entertaining spin and gives you the guts to keep on truckin’. Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture was not just a lecture for his class; it was a gift to people who choose to take its lessons to heart. Given that he didn’t have a chance to live his life to the fullest; this book makes one grateful that they do.

Celebrations

Preston Bailey

Why you should read this book

Any party you throw should be a celebration par extraordinaire

You have agreed to host a party and are becoming mired down in the details of theme, flowers and food. What do you do? Pick up a copy of Preston Bailey’s book Celebrations. Part coffee table pictorial book, part how-to guide, this is the guidebook you can utilize to make your event a success. Turn to for everything from the charity luncheon you agreed to co-chair in a moment of severe insanity to the baby shower you promised your sister you would throw in her honour. The pictures in this book

are transportational and manage to whisk you off to a fairyland, a futuristic place and a wonderland depending on the theme. Each of the pages has beautifully shot and appointed images showing what a room can look like. Some have more detail than others but all are visually stunning. The most beautiful thing about this book is that it makes you believe that any event can be amazing if you just have the right atmosphere. Preston Bailey is known for being a planner extraordinaire and this book certainly showcases his skills in all their floral glory.

Water Bound

Christine Feehan

Why you should read this book Being normal is a relative state

Long time readers of Christine Feehan’s novels know that the men and women in her novels are quirky in one way or another and they accept it because she weaves the quirks so effortlessly into the storyline that it would be odd for them to not be there. With Water Bound, she weaves not a quirk but a disability into the story. Our heroine, Rikki Sitmore, is an extremely high-functioning autistic woman who works as a sea urchin diver to earn a living. While out diving one day, Rikki helps pull a man out of the water and into her

precisely ordered world. For Rikki, it isn’t just about the mystery of who this man is and why he is in the water, it is about letting him into her world where routine must rule supreme in order to cope. Water Bound is meant to be a romance novel but it is so much more than that. It tells the story of a woman struggling to function in a world that considers her abnormal and the man that has to learn to live in that world and the other. Water Bound isn’t just Rikki’s story; it is everyone who has a disability’s story.

Sizzle

Julie Garwood Why you should read this book Sometimes danger is sexy

No one writes romance like Julie Garwood. What can sometimes be a tired and clichéd genre turns into magic with her pen. In this latest offering, she has taken modern day suspense, given it a twist of humour and a dash of romance and created a great read. Lyra is a budding documentary director with a professor who gives assignments from hell. When she inadvertently comes into possession of a CD with a crime filmed on it, all hell breaks loose. Enter FBI agent Sam: Tall, cool and handsome 114 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

with a sexy Scottish brogue to match. Sam starts out by protecting the fair Lyra and ends up covering more than just her movements. The author winds and weaves through this story with humorous, sometimes sarcastic dialogue that delights the senses. None of the conversations between the characters come off as contrived and in fact, one almost wishes for more dialogue between them. This writer admittedly prefers Ms. Garwood’s historical work but I will read anything she writes because it is just that good.

see, speak, +hear no evil

watchout BY ADAM VOLK

Release dates based on amazon.co.uk

Little Fockers | DVD & Blu-ray | 98 mins Robert De Niro, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson Release Date: April 18 You have to hand it to Hollywood, it just doesn’t know when to quit. Case in point: Little Fockers, the third entry in the Meet the Parents franchise and a film that’s about as appealing as watching footage from Robert De Niro’s last colonoscopy. Ben Stiller once again reprises his role as the unfortunately named Gaylord Focker, a family man now busy juggling his two twin boys, beautiful wife, and overbearing father-in-law. But when the hapless Focker is suspected of having an affair with a bombshell pharmaceutical rep (played by a

practically narcoleptic-looking Jessica Alba) hilarity and hijinx ensues - or at least it might have ensued if the script didn’t rely on the same wince-inducing jokes that stopped being funny about five years ago. Instead, Little Fockers offers more of the same contrived visual gags and the now standard sugary sweet ending which is about as hard to stomach as the final five minutes of an episode of Full House. So congratulations Hollywood, and consider this one film franchise that’s been officially Fockered to death.

The Tourist | DVD & Blu-ray | 103 mins Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany Release Date: April 25 I know what you’re thinking: “Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie running around in Venice being all sexy and getting shot at in a crazy action flick? How could this movie not be awesome!” Unfortunately The Tourist (a remake of a popular French film) is a snooze-inducing thriller that plays more like a bad made for TV movie than a Hollywood blockbuster. The film tells the story of Frank, a seemingly down on his luck chump who somehow can’t seem to get it together with the ladies despite looking like friggin’ Johnny Depp. Travelling abroad in Europe, Frank meets an attractive and

enigmatic woman who seems like the perfect chance for him to break his dry spell (read: get his Jolie on). It turns out, however, that the mysterious femme fatale is just using him to help shake a group of gun-totting Russian mobsters and team of wily Scotland Yard detectives. The film then devolves into a by-the-numbers chase film, with plenty of contrived action sequences and tedious dialogue. Sadly, what could have been a premise worthy of Hitchcock is wasted here, with The Tourist remaining a one-way ticket to pure cinematic boredom.

Biutiful | DVD & Blu-ray | 148 mins Javier Bardem, Maricel Álvarez, Hanaa Bouchaib Release Date: May 16 Death can be a destructive force, yet as the film Biutiful proves, it can also by a catalyzing agent which brings a kind of strange clarity in the final moments of a person’s life. Directed by acclaimed filmmaker Alejandro González Iñárritu, Biutiful tells the story of Uxbal (played by Javier Bardem), a hustler living in Barcelona who oversees a series of low-level criminal activities while also making a small living on the side as a medium who speaks with the dead. To further complicate Uxbal’s already chaotic life, he is also a single-father raising two children and struggling

to keep his mentally unbalanced ex-wife at arm’s length. But when Uxbal learns he has terminal cancer, he sets out to put his affairs in order and find some kind of redemption and peace, even as the last fleeting moments of his life slip through his fingers. Haunting and poetic, with an incendiary performance from Javier Bardem, Biutiful is a powerful work of cinematic art. Death might be unavoidable, but as Biutiful proves, it can also be an experience that magnifies the contradictions and complexities of the human soul.

Misfits: Series 1 and 2 | DVD & Blu-ray

| 13 episodes

Iwan Rheon, Robert Sheehan, Antonia Thomas Release Date: March 14

Superheroes are no stranger to the big and small screens, with everything from Batman to the Green Lantern leaping into action to appease the legions of comic book nerds. Yet as the British-made television series Misfits proves, being a superhero doesn’t mean you have to slap on any spandex underwear. Instead, the show follows of a group of juvenile delinquents who find themselves possessing super powers after a freak electrical storm hits them while performing community service. Now, the young offenders must deal with their new found abilities while also facing the

day to day realities of life in inner-city London. Forget capes, masks and super-villain slug fests, the dysfunctional, snarky and slightly criminally inclined Misfits are teen super heroes for a disaffected new generation, the kind of characters who would flip Spider-Man the bird for suggesting that with great power comes great responsibility. The end result is a series that’s smart, funny, dark and incredibly well shot, not to mention being one of the best television shows to come out of the UK, offering up a healthy dose of sex, drugs and super powers.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

115

see, speak, +hear no evil

playNICE BY ADAM VOLK

Portal 2

Publisher Valve Corporation | Developer Valve Corporation Platforms Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC, Mac When Valve’s Portal first came along in 2007, it’s safe to say that it knocked the entire video game industry onto its fleshy, couch-loving backsides. Originally developed as a novelty expansion for the Half-Life franchise, Portal seemed to break all the rules as a first-person shooter that was virtually blood free and was based around solving mind-bending puzzles that resembled an M.C. Escher painting on acid. Best of all, the game offered a surprisingly hilarious story culminating in a song about cake! What more could you ask for? Now Portal 2 has finally arrived,

with players once again take on the role of Chell, a mysterious woman who awakens in an underground laboratory as part of an experiment orchestrated by a psychotic Artificial Intelligent computer named GLaDOS. Before long Chell is put through a series of rat-in-a-maze scenarios that will test player’s reflexes, resolve, and intellect. The result is a satisfying sequel to one of the most innovative games of all time, with more brain-cramping puzzles, brilliant humour and yes, delicious, delicious cake.

SOCOM 4: U.S. Navy SEALs

Publisher Sony Computer Entertainment | Developer Zipper Interactive | Platforms PS3 When it comes to elite military units, there are few more renowned than the U.S. Navy SEALs, a merry band of trigger happy commandos who kick ass and take names (not necessarily in that order). Which is why it’s perhaps only fitting that the Navy SEALs have their own popular video game franchise, now entering its fourth instalment. This time out the SEALs are on a “Ra-Ra America!” mission in a volatile region in South East Asia, and while there are plenty of other third-person squad-based shooters out there, SOCOM 4 manages to stand out

from the camouflaged crowd with gameplay that’s based more on stealth and strategy rather than run n’ gun tactics. Like Dick Cheney after an all you can eat bean burrito buffet, the SEALs of SOCOM 4 are silent but deadly, meaning that players must use careful tactical planning before pulling the trigger. Of course, SOCOM 4 might be hard pressed to take down fan favourites like Call of Duty: Black Ops, but with its impressive visuals and 32-player online mode, it’s also one game that delivers plenty of highordnance action.

Mortal Kombat

Publisher Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment | Developer NetherRealm Studios Platforms Xbox 360, PS 3, Nintendo Wii Gamers who grew up in the golden era of the Super Nintendo probably wasted a depressingly large number of hours playing the original Mortal Kombat, the legendary, ultra-violent fighting game which kick started a new generation of video games and earned the ire of countless concerned parents. Inevitably, Mortal Kombat spawned a slew of sequels, not to mention an ill-conceived TV show and film series. Now, after a quick breather after 2008’s Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, the series is attempting a much needed reboot. Unfortunately, while Mortal Kombat’s audience

has grown up, the game itself really hasn’t, offering more of the same nonsensical storylines, chesty female characters, and almost comically brutal violence. It’s a sad commentary both on gamers and the franchise itself, when ripping someone’s spine out of their chest barely even elicits a raised eyebrow anymore. Still for diehard fans of the series, Mortal Kombat is a return to form, with refined visuals, tighter controls, enhanced online gameplay and enough new and interesting ways to dismember people to keep even Dexter Morgan happy.

Michael Jackson: The Experience

Publisher Ubisoft | Developer Ubisoft

| Platforms Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Nintendo Wii

Oh sweet Prince of Pop, here’s hoping you and Bubbles are moonwalking together in that great big Neverland Ranch in the sky. Fortunately, diehard fans here on the mortal realm can relieve MJ’s greatest moments with Michael Jackson: The Experience, a musical dance game that lets you slip on the rhinestone studded glove of the legendary performer. Originally released for the Nintendo Wii last year, the new Xbox 360 version has built in connectivity for the Kinect, meaning players can dance as MJ in addition to singing along with him and superimposing themselves directly

116 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

into his music videos. Visually the game is a little on the flat side, but the gameplay more than makes up for it thanks largely to Jackson’s repertoire of hit songs and the sheer, shameless fun of attempting to emulate his moves. For those of us with the dance skills and coordination of a drunken rhinoceros, nailing down Mikey’s routines can be a little daunting, but that’s really half the fun. Sure you could listen to the “Thriller” album for the eight-millionth time, but chances are you’ll have more a better time making spastic arm gestures while singing “Beat It” and attempting MJ’s signature crotch-grab. Shamone!

unwindinstyle

Experience leisure & relaxation in the tranquility of Lebanon, at the newly opened One to One Hotel – Dhour Choueir. Situated between the mountain valleys, designed stylishly offering breathtaking panoramic views. Treat yourself at the 4star boutique hotel this season, rates starting from $100 including bed & breakfast! * Rates are subject to 10% VAT. * Monthly & Weekly rates are available.

6 • • • • • •

easy ways to book: t: +961 4 391270 f: +961 4 391269 res.dhourchoueir@onetoonehotels.com onetoonehotels.com via your preferred travel agent gds codes: Galileo: WV97619 - Sabre: WV100304 - Worldspan: WV74447 - Amadeus: WVBEYONE

dhour choueir

hotel

Dhour Choueir Square, p.o.box 28690 Lebanon t. +961 4 391270 f. +961 4 391269 THE COMMITMENT ISSUE res.dhourchoueir@onetoonehotels.com onetoonehotels.com

117

take me with you

LISBON THE CITY COMMITTED TO THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE BY ALICE HLIDKOVA

ON THE SURFACE, LISBON EMANATES AN INVITING CORDIALITY AND AMIABILITY; CHARACTERISTICS SHARED BETWEEN WESTERN EUROPE AND NORTHERN AFRICA. SCRATCH THE SURFACE, AND THE PORTUGUESE CAPITAL LEAVES A LASTING IMPRESSION STEEPED IN COLONIAL HISTORY AND ANCIENT FOLKLORE, WITH SECRETS WORTH DISCOVERING.

118 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

119

LEFT. TOP TO BOTTOM: ALFAMA, THE OLDEST DISTRICT OF LISBON, VASCO DA GAMA BRIDGE, COMMERCE SQUARE.

THE TRADITIONAL MUSIC IS THE CITY’S CORDIAL INVITATION TO ITS URBAN FOLKLORE, EMBEDDED IN A LONG HISTORY OF FATE, LOVE AND NOSTALGIA.

From the first stroll down the city’s main boulevard Avenida da Liberdade, leading to the river basin of the Tagus Estuary, the sound of Fado sweeps you off your feet. The traditional music is the city’s cordial invitation to its urban folklore, embedded in a long history of fate, love and nostalgia. Sailors once sung its somber lyrics to convey their passion for the sea and its foreign territories, while their loved ones sang along in mourning. Today, teenage boys string their Portuguese teardrop shaped guitars and lure pedestrians into their mother’s kitchen, sharing cod fish and rice pudding during a live Fado performance. The music is interrupted at the triumphal arch of Augusta, as tourists clatter on and on about itineraries and the city’s walkways swirled with black and white patterns. The arch marks the beginning of Baixa, the new commercial heart of the Downtown Lisbon area after the city was destroyed by a 9.0 magnitude earthquake in 1755. It was built on a grid plan with streets named after trades which placed Portugal as one of the world’s greatest maritime nations in the 15th and 16th centuries. The Portuguese still boast of their port, once the world centre for ancient trade, with spices and jewels from the East and gold and silver from the West, particularly from Brazil. The center of Downtown Lisbon is home to baronial architecture such as Coliseu dos Recreios concert hall. Nearby, stands the central plaza of Praça do Comércio with great views of the river and the boats crossing it. A statue of Christopher Columbus standing on a tall pillar suggests the great explorer of the Americas was indeed Portuguese; his long arm pointing in direction of North America.

120 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

take me with you

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

121

LEFT, TOP TO BOTTOM: THE PENA CASTLE IN SINTRA, OLD TRADITIONAL TRAM IN LISBON.

SINTRA’S MYSTICAL HILLS DOTTED WITH FAIRYTALE PALACES, FOUNTAINS AND EXTRAVAGANT VILLAS HAVE DRAWN VISITORS AWAY FROM LISBON.

Beneath the streets of Downtown Lisbon lies the city’s most treasured secret. Known as the Roman Underworld, the labyrinth network of narrow chambers, rooms, bridges and corridors, brings forth a relatively undiscovered and fascinating world. Its entrance is marked by a medal block at the top of Rua Da Conceição which is only open to the public two days a year due to the unstable and dangerous conditions lurking below. Ultimately, it is at the Torre de Belém (Belem Tower) which notes Portugal’s Age of Discovery. The tower, which emerges from the basin west of the city, first safeguarded the harbor. But from late 16th century until the 19th, the tower served as a prison. Today, it stands as a monument of Portuguese colonial might, and provides a sweeping panoramic view of the city. Nearby, from the left bank of the river stands a large statue of Cristo Rei (Christ the King). This statue was erected to commemorate Portugal’s survival of World War II without its direct involvement. Lisbon, also known as “The Town of Seven Hills”, is compromised of seven hills: Castelo, Graca, Monte, Penha de

Franca, S. Pedro de Alcantara, Santa Catarina, and Estrela.

Instead of hiking, take the street elevator, The Ascensor de Santa Justa, and visit the Chiado district, a former settlement for Moor-vanquishing Crusaders. Sintra’s mystical hills dotted with fairytale palaces, fountains and extravagant villas have drawn visitors away from Lisbon. The town of Sintra, reached by car in two hours, has bewitched visitors for centuries. A notable English poet once called Sintra the “glorious Eden,” the Romans later made it a place of cult moon worship

122 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

ABOVE: THE PADRAO DOS DESCOBRIMENTOS (MONUMENT TO THE DISCOVERIES) CELEBRATES THE PORTUGUESE WHO TOOK PART IN THE AGE OF DISCOVERY. IT IS LOCATED IN THE BELEM DISTRICT OF LISBON

and named it “Cynthia” after the goddess of the moon. From Palácio Nacional de Sintra and Pena to Quinta da Regaleira and Montserrat, these palaces put those of World Disney to shame. In style of mostly Bavarian, Moorish and Gothic architecture, the palaces house everything from swan-painted octagonal panels and brick-laid conical chimneys to Arabdesigned chapel alters and Victorianstyled turrets. In all its splendor,

Sintra’s conglomerate of design and architecture is seen throughout Europe. Returning to Lisbon from Sintra is heartbreaking, but along Portugal’s natural rock seashores, white houses tumbling down sea-drop cliffs offer another wonderland. Back in Lisbon, trolleys from Baixa await visitors for a tour of Alfama, the oldest section of Lisbon. Up ahead emerges the suspended

25th of April Bridge nicknamed Golden Gate of San Francisco and an emerging hill crowned with Castelo de São Jorge (St George’s Castle). In the context of the Christian Reconquista (the Reconquest), the castle and the city of Lisbon were won from the Moors with help of Crusaders. Despite its eras of the Roman and Moorish invasions, Lisbon offers everlasting friendships traditionally enriched by foreign influences and discoveries

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

123

eat, drink + be merry

the

GUSTAV ’s Commitment to Innovation Gustav Innovation Sucrée has a story behind its name. Inspired by Austrian painter Gustav Klimt, it’s easy to see where symbolism and craftsmanship is brought into the mix at Gustav from both the bright coloured, arty surroundings and of course the confections by Chef Noor Ramlawi. RAGMAG was delighted to sample Gustav’s wares and we’re seeing their signature Fleur-de-lis, and their famous Pavé, a positively sinful dark Belgian chocolate cake with no sugar and no flour, as reasons to celebrate. The Charlotte aux Fraises, a black forest cake made with Morello cherry is another one of our favorites that we think might be the best offering for the unconventional engagement or wedding this year. If you want to take it to another level, check out some of RAGMAG’s pick of Gustav’s specialties. Now that’s what we call unconventional food for thought.

Gustav Innovation Sucrée Hamra Street, Beirut 01/747199 www.legustav.com Follow them on Twitter @LeGustav RAGMAG | MAY 2011 124 Find them on Facebook

GUSTAV

TALKS BACK Read on for their take on what not to do when planning your wedding menu. For more great advice, hit up their website.

FOR BETTER NOT FOR WORSE! COURTESY OF KHALED KARA, GUSTAV INNOVATION SUCRÉE

1. RISKY FOODS Even if you and your betrothed fell in love over a plate of steak tartare, a wedding is not the place for raw meat or eggs, or unpasteurized cheese. Are you trying to create a wave of food poisoning? And while you’re at it, let’s stay away from the fugu, too, okay? 2. “PRODUCTION” FOODS It might seem like a nice idea to serve things that require individual preparation at a wedding, like table-side guacamole, but it’s not. Even pro caterers will have a hard time getting the food made properly and delivered to the guests in a timely fashion. Plus, wouldn’t you rather the guests watch your first dance than a Benihana-style sideshow? And another thing, no Baked Alaska, no Cherries Jubilee... basically, nothing that requires fire. And that includes flaming Jägerbombs (if you want all the groomsmen to keep their pants on). 3. ANYTHING TOO EXOTIC You might be an adventurous eater, but pull a group of your nearest and dearest together, and, chances are, some of them

won’t share your sense of daring. There are plenty of universally appealing options that will sell better than fish-fat canapés. It might be trendy these days to eat the usually-discarded meat parts (like the entrails and brains), but at weddings, offal is, well, awful. 4. A FIVE-COURSE MEAL Wedding guests want to mingle and dance, not be stuck in their seats gorging themselves for hours. Unless Jacques Pepin himself is cooking the wedding meal, the food isn’t going to outshine the happy couple (and who would want that, anyway?). Keep it to three courses or less, and give everyone time to shake their tail feathers without feeling weighed down. 5. SERVING NOTHING Conversely, all that chatting and grooving requires fuel (plus, people tend to indulge in a cocktail or six at weddings). Even if your reception doesn’t fall at a mealtime, make sure there are at least a few tasty morsels to sop up the booze and put some gas in the tanks.

6. THEME FOODS Having good food is always a better idea than matching the hors d’oeuvres to your color palette. If your heart is set on an Arabian-themed reception with fire-breathers, but your caterers aren’t well-versed in that cuisine, the vibe is going to end up more bellyache than belly dance. And if you were thinking about serving whole turkey legs at your Renaissance fair-themed wedding, well... just don’t have a Renaissance fairthemed wedding. 7. OVERLY ELABORATE FOODS Do you really need four different garnishes for that salmon filet? The more elements that go into a plate of food, the longer it will take the caterers to get it assembled and out to the tables (which translates to room-temperature salmon). At weddings, the best meals are those made without a lot of bells and whistles. Keep it simple. Hopefully, this will help make the menu at your wedding as sweet as you are for each other

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

125

eat, drink + be merry

COMMIT to PERFECTION BY SABINA LLEWELLYN-DAVIES

WHIMSICAL WEDDING CAKES IN BOLD COLORS, PASTELS AND NEON

AWARD WINNING GERMAN CHEF CHRISTIANE TRILCK WHIPS UP FANCY DESSERTS FOR BRIDES IN BEIRUT CITY

ave you ever imagined yourself whipping up a fluffy frosting to ice a pile of cupcakes? Or perhaps creating a scrumptious dreamy wedding cake? Well, German–born Chef Christiane Trilck never thought that she would end up using her creative skills in the kitchen, let alone in a 5 star hotel in Beirut. “I never planned to become a chef. But I love the sea and good food so I decided to become a chef and work on a cruise ship.” The high seas soon lost their appeal but in the process, Christiane fell in love with sugar, chocolate and a pastry chef who inspired her so much that she decided never to do anything else. After graduating from culinary college in her homeland, she went on to gain 15 years of experience in the pastry department of leading hotels in Germany, the UK and the Middle East. Today, she is executive pastry chef at the InterContinental Phoenicia hotel, Beirut, where she manages a team of twentyeight pastry chefs, overseeing production of pastry, desserts, and wedding cakes. This year there is a definite trend to more elaborate cakes. “Not every couple likes to have a traditional or classic

126 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

shaped wedding cake. Many are looking for extraordinary cakes. This could be a wedding cake integrated in an ice sculpture, or a wedding cake with a special theme,” says Trilck. “Also, the decoration of wedding cakes has changed a lot and these days few couples are asking for classic decorations.” Instead the new trends in wedding cakes are whimsical, from bold colors, to pastels and neon, even polka dots, stripes, zig-zags, and other unusual patterns to create a unique look. No more plain white? “Absolutely not! White is still requested, but also light colors like pink, yellow, rose, mint green, purple mixed with white are requested. Once I also had a request to make a wedding cake in the bride’s favorite color, which was a dark red wedding cake with black decorations. It worked very well and I was happy to make something out of the box for this couple.” And what was the most elaborate wedding cake she ever made? A 3 meter high wedding cake, in white and silver with lots of sugar flowers and each layer in a different shape. It had to be assembled inside the Phoenicia ballroom, as it didn’t fit through the doors.

During her stint in the UK Chef Trilck worked under Tony Hoyles, voted best Pastry Chef UK, who became her mentor to go on to the next level. “There are some other pastry chefs like Paco Torreblanca, Frederic Bau, Oriol Balaguer, Yann Duytsche or Stephane Leroux who inspire me,” says Trilck. Female chefs are still a bit of a rarity in the culinary world and especially the Middle East. So did she have to overcome any obstacles to reach her current position? “There are always obstacles on your way. From small to big. That’s life, but at the end of the day every single one is teaching me a lesson and makes me stronger. My motto is: Never give up.” Well she didn’t and in March, she led her team to win a gold medal in the wedding cakes contest, for a very unusual, fancy cake, at the Horeca hospitality trade fair at Beirut International Exhibition and Leisure Center. “I hope that my job will bring me to many more interesting countries, where I can learn about people, culture and improve my work. I have still some goals to achieve but if I learned one thing then it’s that you can’t plan your future especially in this business.”

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

127

PHOTOGRAPHY JASON ZAMORA

ON THE NAJIB MOUTRAN SOLVES YOUR VINO COMMITMENT ISSUES BY SABINA LLEWELLYN-DAVIES

ajib Moutran has spent many years sampling delights from some of the world’s greatest wine regions. It seems he was destined to become an agronomist, coming from a family of vine growers in the Bekaa Valley, Lebanon. He has done all the jobs necessary along the wine chain, from viticulturist to sommelier and also squeezed in time to set up Terroirs Conseils. “I wanted Terroirs Conseils to summarize this experience and embody my passion for wine and the Lebanese terroir,” says Moutran. “It is a concept that deals with everything related to wine, spirits, cigars and chocolate… all terroir [French for land] products.” Moutran trains on marketing and promotion of Lebanese wine, and sources export channels to assist producers. Terroirs Conseils aims to play a leading role in the wine sector through tastings, events and seminars, as well as cellar and wine list development. So what’s the expert’s recommendation for the bridal drink of choice for summer 2011? According to Moutran the rosé category is definitely picking up all over the world. After a long period of denigration, rosé is now in huge demand. “Many Lebanese producers are doing an excellent job, proposing a fresh crispy rosé, away from sulfur excesses,” says Moutran. “When red and white categories get stuck, saturating on production or

128 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

EVER WONDERED ABOUT THE PROPER ETIQUETTE FOR CHOOSING THE BEST WINE TO SERVE FOR THE WEDDING RECEPTION? NAJIB MOUTRAN, OWNER AND GENERAL MANAGER, TERROIRS CONSEILS, ADVISES ON THE RIGHT APPROACH FOR SELECTING THE PERFECT WEDDING PARTY VINTAGE.

sales sides, the development goes into unexploited categories, raising awareness and demand through new packaging, labels more appealing. This was witnessed in the rosé. It is worth having a good glass of a chilled rosé, salmon, pink, spicy with a slight almond bitterness for a thirsty palate… cheers!” Just make sure the wine is well chilled, but not to the degree of blocking the aroma. How to match the right wine with food? “Complementarily and antagonism are the golden words. Either we go for similarity in color, temperature of service, sauce versus tannins (the red wine ingredient that gives its color) concentration or we go for opposites,” says Moutran. He believes that salty and strong cheeses, like Blue Cheese, can go perfectly well with sweet wine. A grilled Coeur de Filet craves for a full-bodied red and a fish dish will benefit from a white Chardonnay/ Sauvignon blend. “Wine has to be in harmony with the food never dominating, never fading.” Moutran shies away from naming a particular favorite label. “There is a good wine at each price. Harder when the budget is more limited but possible! You don’t need to pay a fortune to enjoy a glass of wine. We tend to forget that wine is a farmer’s product.” He advises that you choose “the youngest, the freshest, the crispiest, the mid bodied one, mouth watering… spicy & flowery.”

And forget the cost. When couples choose the wine for their wedding party budget is often the greatest concern. “The wedding expenses are so high that wine, coming last on the list, will always be the worst and smallest budget, where quality will be sacrificed,” says Moutran. “I would say a good wine is the guarantee of a good party! People enjoying the wine will really remember your wedding.”

THE WINE LAB AT HORECA 2011

Moutran was the brainchild behind the innovative Wine Lab at the HORECA exhibition in Beirut in April 2011. The event gathered for the first time top hotels and restaurants in Beirut to compete for the best wine service, with staff acting as sommeliers. A nonstop tasting for more than a hundred wine labels from all producers exhibiting at HORECA took place. The tasters selected a favorite wine in each category and a selection of Lebanese winemakers were awarded for their efforts in meeting the consumers aspirations, requirements and evolution in wine. The wine list of two restaurants in Beirut, Soho and DT, came top for diversity, richness, with more than 500 references, a great part dedicated to Champagne, a well sought after category in Beirut.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

129

eat, drink + be merry

EAU DE VIE’s NEW LEASE ON LIFE BY YOUMNA CHAGOURY

hoenicia Hotel’s famous French restaurant Eau de Vie, known until last November for its classic setting and menu, got a facelift – and it’s the best thing they could have done. Located at the very top of the hotel, surrounded by large bay windows with a view overlooking Beirut, the Mediterranean Sea, and a part of the Beirut Marina with its big white yachts, Eau de Vie has always been one of these Lebanese restaurants that exuded elegance and refinement… for the elderly! Renovated in 2010, the restaurant offers its new color range that goes from the different shades of purple to brown, and claret-toned long curtains scattered all around both the lounge and the dining room. Designed to meet the Lebanese clientele’s wishes of seeing and being seen while having the privilege of a private section, the curtains can extend the space when wide open, and offer privacy when closed. Eau de Vie’s menu represents the balance between having a bit of

130 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

everything to pick from, and not feeling lost in the multitude of choices. Fitting on one page, bound on a pink wood board, the menu represents the restaurant’s right decision of having a wide variety of starters and salads, and a classic choice of charcoal grilled meats and seafood. Inspired by their recent renovation, Eau de Vie offers some revisited French entrées such as the pea and fava beans velouté or the green lentil salad with caramelized pumpkin, American classics such as the crab cakes with the twist of a beurre Nantais, and even a tasty mix of Europe and Japan in a plate: the marinated tuna and veal with a pesto mayonnaise. The freshness of the ingredients makes the last dish one of the best you’ll ever have. As for their grilled Australian Wagyu beef tenderloin, cooked exactly the way you ordered it, have it with their new chimichurri sauce for a surprising taste mixture. Jamais vu. The bar area is on the other side of the resto so clients can enjoy the view while having their drink, creating a new

sitting area with leather couches, daily newspapers, and a pool table. The whole concept sure brings a younger image to Eau de Vie, but young people won’t be keen on the price tag

The + + The very quick and friendly service, along with the quality of the food is worth the price you’re paying. The meat was more than tender, the fish was fresh, and the plates were hot when needed. + Eau de Vie offers a business lunch menu and changes it twice a month. Unlike other restaurants, a set menu at Eau de Vie doesn’t mean lesser quality: duck, foie gras, and champagne sauce are in order. + A wine list that has been has been granted the “Award of Excellence” by the Wine Spectator magazine for four consecutive years, and a single malt whisky display at the entrance. You’re left speechless.

The – - For such a high-end restaurant, some mistakes are unforgivable: You don’t bring the glass of wine to the table. You pour it before the client’s eyes, and ask them to taste it, whether they know how to do it or not. - The restrooms should have had the facelift toostark, white marble and mirrors do not fit the hotel’s new look.

Eau de Vie Phoenicia Hotel, Minet El Hosn, Beirut 01/369100

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

131

eat, drink + be merry

Proposing in Good Taste

A Commitment Dining Experience WITH CHEF MAHER EL-ALAM

RAGMAG AND CHEF MAHER PRESENT A DINING EXPERIENCE SUITED FOR MAKING THE BIG LEAP INTO COMMITMENT. A LOVING MEAL THAT RUNS THE TASTE GAMUT OF SALMON, CAVIAR AND BEEF CUISINE, IS ON THE MENU THIS ISSUE. CHEF MAHER SUGGESTS A PAIRING OF FINE, CELEBRATORY CHAMPAGNE FOR THIS MEAL. DURING THE MAIN COURSE, OPT FOR A RED WINE TO ENHANCE THE TASTE. CONSIDER A CENTERPIECE OF FRAGRANT JASMINE FLOWERS IN SHADES OF BRIGHT WHITE TO COMPLIMENT A TABLE SETTING OF PALE YELLOW. LIGHTING IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE PRESENTATION FOR THIS EVENT, WE SUGGEST BUD VASES SET WITH TAPER CANDLES IN VARYING SHADES TO GIVE A SPOT OF BRIGHT COLOUR IN THE MOSTLY YELLOW SETTING. NAPKIN RINGS MAY ALSO BE COLOURED FOR VARIETY.

Table Setting and Decoration -

Champagne flutes Wine glasses Ice bucket to chill 4 side plates 4 forks 4 knives Large plate for salad Large serving set for salad Large platter for the main course Large serving set of spoon and fork Saucier Large platter for dessert 4 dessert plates 4 dessert forks 4 knives Serving spatula

132 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

I PROMISE YOU SALMON SALAD

INGREDIENTS NEEDED FOR 4 SERVINGS

•1 head red leaf lettuce •1 head frisée lettuce •20 cherry tomatoes •400gr Scottish smoked salmon •100gr of Russian caviar •5 lemons •15 pieces capers •4 stalks fresh green onions •1 loaf brown or multigrain bread •salt •pepper •aneth •1 cup olive oil

Salad Preparation

Dressing Preparation

Clean the lettuce well and pat dry. Chop and place on the large serving platter. Add the smoked salmon and the caviar on top. Garnish with the clean cherry tomatoes around the perimeter of the platter. Finish by placing the chopped green onion, and capers. Serve the dressing aside so guests may add to taste. Present the bread separately but to enjoy with the salad, bruschetta style.

Take freshly squeezed lemon juice, add salt and pepper to taste. Combine well and add dill. Add the cup of olive oil. Shake to diffuse the ingredients and present.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

133

BEEF FILET CHATEAU BRILLIANT and

MASHED RED POTATOES

INGREDIENTS NEEDED FOR 4 SERVINGS

•1 beef fillet 2.6kg •olive oil •salt •pepper •1 kg potato •2 red beetroots •2 drops red food colouring •8 pieces broccoli •100gr butter •100gr flour •2 cubes beef stock •1/2 cup fresh cream

Preparation of Main Course

Preparation of Sauce

Begin by marinating the pieces of the heart of fillet with salt, pepper and olive oil. Keep aside to set while boiling the peeled potatoes. Mash well and add one spoon of butter, salt and pepper to taste. Once that is done, add 2 drops of red food colouring and a slight amount of the beetroot water. Keep warm. Boil the beets and keep red water and do the same for the broccoli pieces.

Put a pat or more of butter in a hot frying pan, add the flour, beef stock and combine well. Add the boiled, hot beet water, salt and pepper. Once you have added the water, remove from element and add the cream. Red wine is a suitable accompaniment for this part of the meal.

Present the beef filet, broccoli and beetroot together. Next to the main platter, present the mashed red potato and the sauce in a saucier.

134 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

eat, drink + be merry

STRAWBERRY LOVER PASTRY

INGREDIENTS NEEDED FOR 4 SERVINGS

•1 packet Mille-feuille pastry •20 strawberries •1 bottle Chantilly cream •strawberry syrup •50g icing sugar

PREPARATION Start by cutting the pastry in medium sized heart shapes. Bake in a preheated oven at 180 degrees and allow to cool. Clean and dry the strawberries well and cut them in halves. Place a pastry, surrounded by Chantilly and

add the strawberries. Add another layer of pastry and repeat the process with fresh cream. Finish with more strawberries and the icing sugar. Garnish in a lacey pattern with the strawberry syrup.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

135

eat, drink + be merry

CHOCOLATE

COMMITMENTS

RAGMAG and BeirutRestaurants.com have teamed up to bring you the absolute best in chocolate this issue. To really help you eat drink + be merry we’ve compiled a list of places for you to gift your guests with, be it at a wedding or any other occasion that calls for a lovely chocolate arrangement. We love indulging our sweet side and having the inside info from BeirutRestaurants. com makes it even easier! They’re RAGMAG’s goto site for everything from desserts to gourmet gifts. Our Love It or Leave It Mentions give you a top 3 in a superior party of chocolatiers and chocolate-makers!

Follow BeirutRestaurants.com on Twitter for more great suggestions @b_restaurants

NOURA

PECHE MIGNON

RUBAN

MODART

CHOCOLATE CENTER

RODIN

NOUGATINI

PATCHI

GODIVA

Salim Lahoud Street Dekko Building, Achrafieh Beirut 01/398362/92

Bakalian Bldg. Mneimne Street Bristol Area, Beirut 01/741177 03-313525 www.modartcreations.net

Jeanne D’arc Street 01/343759 www.nougatini.com

Love it or Leave it Mention Nougatini’s reputation as a house of chocolate since 1968 is well known. For exemplary taste and artful presentation, we choose to commit to loving Nougatini. They were RAGMAG’s companion for our Silver Bells collaboration in December, we know a crowd pleaser when we see one!

136 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

Rabieh Main Road Riyadah Metn 03/66227 www.pechemignon.com

Mkahhal Bldg. Mazraa Street Bourj Abi Haidar 01/303730 www.chocolate-center.net

Downtown + Verdun, Beirut 01/743670 www.patchi.com

Love it or Leave it Mention Who doesn’t love Patchi’s beautiful confections arranged in one of their artisan vases or silver trays? The absolute best at what they do, for the hostess who is looking to both impress and delight her guests and gift recipients, Patchi is the way to go.

Sadat Stree Hamra Beirut 01/742934

Tayouneh-Highway Beirut 01/381144 03/882031 www.rodinonline.net

Riad el Solh Street, Beirut 01/970878 www.godiva.be

Love it or Leave it Mention Godiva’s packaging and presentation makes the perfect gift. We’re loving their special, themed holiday arrangements! Godiva makes it easy to achieve elegance with any budget. This is one chocolate company you’re going to love.

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

137

quizz ROUND #1

History + Geography

ROUND #2

ROUND #3

Films

ROUND #4

General Knowledge

Clever Things

1. Who were the President and Prime Minister of Lebanon in August 1970?

1. What film, starring Christian Bale, was the highest grossing film of 2008?

1. In a standard pack of cards, which is the only king that does not have a moustache?

2. What is the longest river in France?

2. Who were the two main stars of the musical Mama Mia?

2. What colour light is fitted to the right hand side of an aircraft?

3. What was the name of the aircraft that dropped the first atomic bomb?

3. Who wrote the music for the film 3. What type of acid is used in a “The Lion King”? wet cell car battery?

3. What term is given to the line, on a weather chart, that joins places of equal pressure?

4. Who provided the voice of the mouse in “Stuart Little”?

4. What is the unit of measurement of wind speed?

4. What country was formerly known as Southern Rhodesia? 5. Who was the Prime Minister of France from 1974 to 1976? 6. How many funnels did the Titanic have? 7. In which country did the Rastafarian religion begin? 8. What is the name of the fault that caused the earthquakes around San Francisco? 9. In which modern day country would you find the ruins of Troy? 10. What is the largest desert in the World?

5. Who sang the theme tune to the Bond film Thunderball? 5. With what musical instrument do you associate the American 6. In the original Pink Panther B.B. King? films, who played Insperctor Clouseau? 6. What colour is Mr. Spock’s blood? 7. Is James Bond in MI5 or MI6? 7. Shirley Bassey sang the theme 8. In which series of comedy tunes to three Bond films. films would you find Inspector Goldfinger, Diamonds Are Drebin? Forever and which other one? 9. Who played the character of Captain Von Trapp in the Sound of Music?

It’s really hard work!

YOUR CO NTRY

B A T T E R Y

Help the War effort!

The car won’t start...

6. How many hearts does an octupus have? 1, 2 or 3? 7. Where on a horse would you find its withers?

8. How many points are there on a compass?

PORT PORT PORT

They say sailors have this

S S H H O TROHS O R A man’s R T haircut? T EV EN

No Profit, No Loss!

2. What do the letters FTSE stand for?

5. What is the largest artery in the human body?

9. Which Italian city is the home of 10. In the first Batman film, Batman the Fiat car manufacturer? was played by Michael Keaton but who played the part of the 10. What was the first Credit Card? Joker?

dingbats

L L I H STRUGGLE

4. What is the name of the galaxy in which our Solar System is located?

1. How many BITS are there in a BYTE?

8. What number of equal size circles fit exactly around another of the same size so that all are touching? 9. What name is given to the flap of skin which covers the windpipe when swallowing? 10. What do the letters WAP stand for?

CUT

REST I’m better than all the other!

INJURY + INSULT Make things worse!

ROCK

I’m feeling so unhappy!

ROUND#1 1. Charles Helou and Rachid Karami 2. The Loire 3. Enola Gay 4. Zimbabwe 5. Jacques Chirac 6. Four 7. Jamaica 8. San Andreas Fault 9. Turkey 10. Sahara ROUND#2 1. Dark Knight 2. Pierce Brosnan and Meryll Streep 3. Elton John and Tim Rice 4. Michael J. Fox 5. Tom Jones 6. Peter Sellers 7. MI6 8. The Naked Gun 9. Christopher Plummer 10. Jack Nicholson ROUND#3 1. King of Hearts 2. Green 3. Sulphuric 4. The Milky Way 5. The Guitar 6. Green 7. Moonraker 8. 32 (11.25 Degrees) 9. Turin 10. Diner’s Club ROUND#4 1. Eight 2. Financial Times Stock Exchange 3. Isobar 4. Knot 5. Aorta 6. Three 7. Back, between the shoulders 8. Six 9. Epiclotis 10. Wireless Application Protocol UPHILL STRUGGLE - A GIRL IN EVERY PORT - CUT ABOVE THE REST YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU - SHORT BACK AND SIDES - ADD INSULT TO INJURY FLAT BATTERY - BREAK EVEN - ROCK BOTTOM

138 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

brainfood

crosswords 3

DOWN

6 8

11 13

14 16

22 24

27 31

42 45

50 52

53 54

58 59

65 67

66 70

2. In working condition. 4. Change. 6. English camion. 7. List of actors in a film. 8. Arabic Dancer? 9. Oil making plant. 10. Not as heavy as. 13. A type of gas. 15. Legal system. 19. A diver’s weapon? 20. Male cat. 21. They make “Hot Water”. 24. Getting ready. 25. A car or a designer? 26. A paint used as a preservative. 28. All are the same. 29. Exact. 32. Didn’t take care of. 33. Commits a crime. 35. A type of smoked fish. 36. Under age. 37. He wanted his pound of flesh. 38. Chips should be this. 39. Relieve your thirst. 40. Set alight. 41. In the past. 44. WWII British Leader. [First Name] 46. A baby’s feeding tube. 50. Five children. 53. Maybe! 55. They hold your teeth. 57. Apprehensive. 58. You can see many videos here. 59. A man’s dress suit. 60. A long race. 64. Found on a guitar or a woman! 65. Word blindness. 66. Arrive early. 67. Go below zero. 69. Dug up. 71. A small sleep. 72. Clothes fastener. 77. Coy.

74 76

77 79

sudoku

18. Type of nuclear reaction. 22. Smuggled goods. 23. A cowboy? 25. Encoded. 27. Famous African tribe. 30. The end of a prayer. 31. A scalp problem. 34. Self esteem. 37. Can be flying or for a cup.

41. Another term for rabies. 42. Carrying too much weight. 43. Can cut steel. 45. Spouts hot water. 47. Small rodents. 48. An old fashioned light. 49. They can be red or grey. 51. A private storage box. 52. Handy when washing the floor.

EASY

7 8

4 1

4 1 8 3

7 8 7 9 2 7 4 1 8 4 2 3 5 9 3 2 3 5 2 8 3 1 5 3 4 9 1 6 6 2 8 7 4 9 7 5 2

9 6 7 1 2 3 4 2 5 4 1 3 5 6 9 8 8

6 5 2 8 8 4 5 9 7 7 9 3 1 2 4 1 3 6

5 9 4 4 3 3 6 1 9 8 2 6 8 5 7 2 1 7

7 2 1 6 9 7 8 5 4 4 3 9 6 1 2 8 5 3

8 8 6 1 2 5 7 2 5 3 1 7 9 9 6 3 4 4

2 4 9 2 5 1 4 8 1 6 6 5 7 3 8 3 7 9

4 7 3 5 7 6 9 3 8 9 5 2 8 2 1 4 6 1

54. Answer. 56. Helps start a reaction. 61. Johnsons make one for babies. 62. Fruit or a telephone. 63. Pub or British dog. 68. A hole in the ground? 70. A snake’s poison. 73. Mechanical staircase. 74. A lot more than one.

1 3 8 9 6 8 2 7 3 1 7 4 4 6 5 5 9 2

4 6 2

9 2 3

8 5 6 5 3 7 8 4 1 9 2

4 9 7 1 6 2 3 8 5

1 3

2 1 3 7

6 8

3 7 2 5 4 1 9 6 8

8 1 5 9 7 6 2 3 4

7 8 9 4 2 3 6 5 1

5 3 4 6 1 7 8 2 9

5 6 4

2 6 1 8 5 9 7 4 3

7 4 3 5 9 6 8 2 1

4 5 8 8

5 3 4

9 7 2

1 9 4 6 2 3 8 5 1 7

3 5 4

8 4

5 7 6

6 1 7

1 8

1 2 8 3 9 5 4 7 6

2 6

5 6 9 8 1 2 7 4 3

8 2 1 7 3 4 5 6 9

6 1 8 2 7 9 3 5 4

4 7 2 3 6 5 1 9 8

9 3 5 1 4 8 6 7 2

1 9 4 6 5 3 2 8 7

2 5 7 9 8 1 4 3 6

3 8 6 4 2 7 9 1 5

75. Home for wild animals. 76. Tissue manufacturer. 77. There are supposedly 7 deadly

ones of these.

78. Happy. 79. It rose from the ashes. 80. They can see through you.

ACCROSS 1. IODINE - 3. HAYSTACK - 5. TEMPLE - 8. BAREBACK 11. VELODROME - 12. SUPERIMPOSE - 14. PLOUGH 16. FARRIER - 17. BOUQUET - 18. FUSION 22. CONTRABAND - 23. WRANGLER - 25. SCRAMBLED 27. ZULU - 30. AMEN - 31. DANDRUFF - 34. EGO 37. SAUCER - 41. HYDROPHOBIA - 42. OVERLOADED 43. HACKSAW - 45. GEYSER - 47. MICE - 48. LANTERN 49. SQUIRREL - 51. LOCKER - 52. BUCKET 54. RESPOND - 56. CATALYST - 61. SHAMPOO 62. BLACKBERRY - 63. BULLDOG - 68. DEPRESSION 70. VENOM - 73. ESCALATOR - 74. MULTIPLE 75. JUNGLE - 76. MIMOSA - 77. SIN - 78. PLEASED 79. PHOENIX - 80. X-RAYS

1. A type of antiseptic. 3. Look for a needle in here. 5. A place of worship. 8. Horse riding without a saddle. 11. Bicycle race track. 12. Place on top of. 14. Prepare a field for crops. 16. He looks after horse’s feet. 17. A bunch of flowers.

DOWN 2. OPERATIONAL - 4. ALTER - 6. LORRY - 7. CAST 8. BELLY - 9. REFINERY - 10. LIGHTER - 13. BUTANE 15. JUDICAL - 19. SPEARGUN - 20. TOM - 21. DAVIDOFF 24. PREPARING - 25. SAAB - 26. CREOSOTE 28. UNIFORM - 29. PRECISE - 32. NEGLECTED 33. PERPETRATES - 35. KIPPER - 36. MINOR 37. SHYLOCK - 38. CRISPY - 39. QUENCH - 40. IGNITED 41. HISTORY - 44. WINSTON - 46. UMBILICAL 50. QUINTETS - 53. PERHAPS - 55. GUMS - 57. NERVOUS 58. YOUTUBE - 59. TUXEDO - 60. MARATHON 64. G-STRING - 65. DYSLEXIA - 66. PREMATURE 67. FREEZE - 69. EXHUMED - 71. KIP - 72. ZIPPER 77. SHY

ACROSS

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

139

RAGMAG

astro

Zodiac forecasts FROM JONATHAN CAINER

May.2011

I AM OFTEN ASKED IF ALL THE PLANETS EVER ALIGN IN THE SAME PLACE AT ONCE. IT’S EXTREMELY RARE. THIS MONTH, THOUGH, THE BEGINNING OF MAY BRINGS A CONJUNCTION OF THE SUN AND MOON, MERCURY, VENUS, MARS, JUPITER AND URANUS. THAT’S ALL BUT THREE OF THE SKY’S TRADITIONAL ‘MOVING LIGHTS’ IN ARIES. IT’S NOT A VERY ‘VISIBLE’ EVENT BECAUSE THE PARTICIPANTS ARE SO CLOSE TO THE SUN. THEY ARE UP WHEN THE SUN IS UP, DOWN WHEN IT’S DOWN.... AND THUS, SUNLIGHT DROWNS THEM OUT. BUT IT REMAINS DEEPLY SYMBOLIC. IF YOU’VE BEEN PRAYING FOR CHANGE, HERE IT COMES!

JACK NICHOLSON

UMA THURMAN

GEMINI

May 22 - June 22

Imagine setting off for the holiday of a lifetime in some glorious tropical paradise. Now imagine arriving at the airport, only to find the plane has been delayed. You look at the walls of the waiting area and decide you just cannot stand the colour they have been painted. So you opt to turn round and go home because that decor has upset you. Conjunctions, this month, of Mercury with Mars and Jupiter suggest you are heading in the right direction. There may, though, soon be a big distraction. It will be important in one way yet in another, as trivial as the above example. Remember the bigger picture. FOR YOUR DAILY FORECAST AND MORE FROM JONATHAN, VISIT WWW.CAINER.COM

TAURUS March 21 - April 20

Peace, love, harmony, understanding. Resentment, recrimination, retribution and revenge. What feels better? Sometimes, our mood can favour one experience so strongly that it all but denies the existence of the other. We get obsessed. We feel we have no option other than to remain in a particular emotional or psychological state. There are times when those intense, negative, sensations are appropriate. There are times too, when we indulge them at our peril. What’s important is fluidity. Your challenge, in May, is to get it ‘just right’. Four planets in your sign insist that you will! FOR YOUR DAILY FORECAST AND MORE FROM JONATHAN, VISIT WWW.CAINER.COM

CANCER June 23 - July 23

What kind of a month are you expecting? If your hopes are anything other than high, revise them. Think positive. Think big. Well, not that big - I am not promising a total revolution. But you have every reason to expect an encouraging development to arise. There’s now a chance to put right a wrong and restore calm to an area of life that has lately been chaotic. There’s a celestial suggestion of new, deep, genuine inspiration and a chance to be creative in a most constructive fashion. Don’t assume everything has to stay the way it has always been. If you really want change, you can have it. FOR YOUR DAILY FORECAST AND MORE FROM JONATHAN, VISIT WWW.CAINER.COM

140 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

July 24 - August 23

August 24 - September 23

VIRGO

LIBRA

‘And they all lived happily ever after.’ There. Don’t you feel better for knowing that? An ending is nothing without a beginning - and a beginning from which you can see the only possible ending makes for a very dull story. You need that edge of uncertainty in May. Be glad of it and be glad, too, of all tension and drama. Be glad an issue is unresolved. Here’s your chance to resolve it. Be glad a situation is tricky. The comfort of safety means nothing without the taste of danger. This month is good for romantic and financial opportunity. It’s just not quite so good for peace of mind!

Sometimes, when you are doing a crossword, you solve almost all the clues. You try to write in the last answer but, though, you are sure it is right, it doesn’t fit the letters that you have already filled in. Either the publishers have printed the wrong clue or one of your earlier answers is incorrect. Either way, it’s annoying - but it’s hardly the end of the world. In May, nothing seems to be fitting properly. Your efforts to do the right thing keep having undesirable results. One small but significant, slightly irritating factor has to change. Once you find and fix that, everything will be fine.

Nothing is ever perfect. Or, so it seems. Some might argue that, though everything has its drawbacks, those disadvantages are, in their own way, ideal - if only you know how to see them from an enlightened perspective. Let us not dwell on the age-old debate about the ‘perfection of imperfection’. For you, it’s irrelevant. Things may or may not be perfect but they are better than they have been and they are about to get better yet. To make the most of May’s small but significant opportunities, focus on what’s feasible, hopeful and attainable rather than resenting what’s inevitable.

FOR YOUR DAILY FORECAST AND MORE FROM JONATHAN, VISIT WWW.CAINER.COM

LEO

SCORPIO

SAGITTARIUS

September 24 - October 23

CAPRICORN

October 24 - November 22

November 23 - December 21

December 22 - January 20

FOR YOUR DAILY FORECAST AND MORE FROM JONATHAN, VISIT WWW.CAINER.COM

AQUARIUS

PISCES

‘What are you dreaming of? Don’t you know how far-fetched that aspiration is? Can’t you tell that you are tilting at windmills and chasing rainbows as they pass through a cloud shaped like pie in the sky? Why don’t you grow up and settle down?’ I’ll give you one good reason why. Because, one of these days, a substantial part of one of your brighter dreams is actually going to come true. Will it happen in May? Perhaps not entirely. But you may yet set a process in motion that eventually leads you to live through such a time. Don’t let a passing problem distract you from a great goal.

The crystal ball is cloudy. The Tarot cards are torn. The tea leaves are obscured by too much milk and sugar. The horoscope has become inverted in the telescope. You cannot see the future, no matter how you try. There is something about it that you do not know - and you do not know it for a good reason. You do not need to know it. It is better that you do not know it. Work now, with what you know, not with what you imagine, and not what you fear. You’re heading for something far better than you dare allow yourself to expect. By the end of May, you’ll know the future is going to be just fine.

FOR YOUR DAILY FORECAST AND MORE FROM JONATHAN, VISIT WWW.CAINER.COM

FOR YOUR DAILY FORECAST AND MORE FROM JONATHAN, VISIT

Many believe that one day, there will be a golden age when swords are changed into ploughshares and lions lie down with lambs. Are you really ready now, for peace and harmony? Or are you still keen to hang on to a few of your swords just in case you need them? A drama is now developing. You feel half inclined to diffuse the tension and half inclined to add to it. You can do either successfully as long as you do not try to do both things at the same time. Be honest with yourself about what you really want in May. Then you will be in with a much better chance of actually getting it.

January 21 - February 19

Are you a human being or, like most folk on this earth, are you just a human, ‘doing’? Most of us, it seems, are dreadfully goal-oriented. We are forever setting ourselves targets. Objectives to aim for. Criteria to fulfil. If we achieve these, we see ourselves as successful. If we fail, we feel we have failed. We are so wrapped up in all this that we hardly ever stop to ask ourselves, ‘Is my goal a goal that’s really worth pursuing?’ The question in May is not how fast are you going or how smooth is your progress? It is, ‘Where are you heading?’ You’ll make an amazing discovery in May.

February 20 - March 20

Some people make music. Others paint. Some read, some write, some dance, some design, some just dream. We all, though, have to express creativity. You may live in a world full of concrete and conformity, but you are a creature of nature; an impulsive, spontaneous being that has come to this earth to celebrate, not to feel stressed out. It has been a while since you last felt inspired to smile and relax. Events in May, though, will gently remind you of how good life can be at its best. Dare to do something different and a little magic will find its way into your every encounter.

ARIES

March 21 - April 20 Powerful people carry a burden of responsibility. They have to watch for the consequences of their every deed. Only the helpless and the hopeless can enjoy the luxury of acting entirely on impulse. You are neither helpless nor hopeless. Your current sense of exasperation is a gift. It is providing you with the motivation you need to tackle a tricky task. It’s making you wish that you had more power. The irony is, you do. The moment you stop grasping at straws and start making bold plans, you’ll see this. A vast improvement is attainable in May. All it needs is a small change of attitude. FOR YOUR DAILY FORECAST AND MORE FROM JONATHAN, VISIT WWW.CAINER.COM

THE COMMITMENT ISSUE

141

out +about

THIRD TIME IS A CHARM BIPOD’s Commitment to Infusing Beirut with Culture

IMAGES COURTESY OF MAQAMAT

RAGMAG got out + about at the third Beirut International Platform of Dance (BIPOD). Held in partnership with the Beiteddine Festival, BIPOD took place at various theatres around Beirut for a 2 week run for its third year. We caught a sneak peak of Omar Rajeh, BIPOD’s Artistic Director, enjoying the Saturday, April 16 performance of “Falling Grace” at Hamra’s Al-Madina Theatre. The hour long presentation of “Falling Grace”, concept and choreography by Katarzyna Gdaniec and Marco Cantalupo and performed by Compagnie Linga of Switzerland, explores “the dynamic process that erupts when stability is disturbed”. The packed theatre was in hushed silence for most of the performance, and a special round of awed applause met the end of Ai Koyama’s poignant solo executed with lighted orbs. Maqamat Dance Theatre’s projects include BIPOD and The Arab Dance Platform as well as numerous others, and continue to create dance performances since their inception in 2002. RAGMAG loves supporting the arts in Lebanon and getting out + about with international contemporary dance talent

142 RAGMAG | MAY 2011

www.maqamat.org Follow them on Twitter @maqamat

FOR INQUIRIES AND RESIDENTIAL DELIVERY CONTACT +961 70 779 669 | MKKHOLDING.COM THE COMMITMENT ISSUE Imported by

143

144 RAGMAG | MAY 2011