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#40 July 1, 2015
Window for action loving PROFESSIONALS
Building and Sustaining RELATIONSHIP
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WhatsApp Bro!
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‘RELATIONSHIP’ Quotes
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Dear Readers Greetings! One of the common lesson we all learnt in the school was – Man is a social animal. Social? Yes. Animal? Could be questionable. We all aspire to build, retain, sustain and grow our relationships with people. Sometimes for our vested interests and sometimes such a relationship just grows on us and with us. Whatever be the form, relationships are not one way traffic. These are investments. A healthy investment does not look at returns but focuses more on what goes inside. How are your relationships building and developing? How often do you take the stock to nurture it further? Think. Act. Y not! Cheers, Rajiv Khurana Editor rajiv@rajivkhurana.com 9810211256. Advt. Pages 11-12
Coaching Learning Advancing Sharpening Smartening ©
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Building and Sustaining
RELATIONSHIP
#40 July 1, 2015
Rajiv Khurana, CMC, FIMC
Window for action loving PROFESSIONALS
Respect and accept differences
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Look around. God has not made the same mistake again ;). We all are different. Accept the fact and respect the person as a starter.
Empathise
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Remember the first lesson Mom gave us, “Step into the shoes of the other person. Think and feel like him.’ Use this lesson in every interaction.
Listen effectively
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Be a ready listener. Be an active listener. Show that you are listening. Listen as if you are going to repeat what the other person says, in verbatim.
Avoid being overbearing
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We don’t build relations to suppress people. Stop harping about the greatest gift on earth called you. You and the other person is a co-companion. Sail together.
Take out time
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Each relationship needs nurturing through interactions, social rituals and time investments. Even your dog would need the time from you. Stop pretending busy.
Acronym RELATIONSHIP is the intellectual property of Rajiv Khurana
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#40 July 1, 2015
Window for action loving PROFESSIONALS
Invigorate
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The relationship seed needs regular care against odds. Keep adding your regular smaller bits of care and share.
Observe own behaviour & correct
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Be watchful. What you say or overlook in saying, matters. Seek feedback to correct the course. Share your ideas if sought.
Neutralize emotional outbursts
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Words hurt especially those said on the back. Be watchful. It takes years to build a relationship. Seconds to break.
Show positive body language
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Your vocal and visual communication speaks louder than the verbal communication. People understand you without your words.
Hone social skills
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Recall all the social etiquettes they taught you in school. Everything is important to others as it matters to you.
Improve social media skills
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The smart phone in your hand is a boon IF used timely, wisely and appropriately. Keep it aside when in a face to face situation.
Play on the positives
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No one is 100% good or bad. People are good and bad. Accept the shortcomings and celebrate their positives. Relations matter. Acronym RELATIONSHIP is the intellectual property of Rajiv Khurana
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The pleasures and compulsions of
#40 July 1, 2015
RELATIONSHIP
Window for action loving PROFESSIONALS
through WhatsApp groups. Living with it…by default and by design.
WhatsApp Bro! - Rajiv Khurana, CMC, FIMC
“Chai Pila Do”. Two changes in my life have kept me mesmerized or to use a more appropriate word – flabbergasted. The first being, my wife’s decision to change the rule from ‘One Biwi One TV’ to the self-justified amendment of ‘two TVs’, that too, located on different floors. The second being her high level of proficiency in using digital gizmos since the time I teased her to be technically challenged. Now while I love watching the comic strip hosted by Arnab Goswami and she is busy with the complicated relationship paradigms of serials, I often get a WhatsApp message to make tea. Being a dutiful husband, I have to ensure a personal delivery of the fresh brew instead of sending her a picture. How is your life Bro? WhatsApp!
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#40 July 1, 2015
Window for action loving PROFESSIONALS
To look, feel and remain perpetually young, I have always been an early adopter of the latest in the digital world. I show-off too by involving and inviting others. Before my friends from college could even blink, I had created a WhatsApp group of this perennially childlike 50+ kids. My other friends were not far behind. On one pretext or the other, I got drawn into many such WhatsApp groups, like the one from school, the one from the profession, the one from relatives, the one from you name it etc. Here I was, all the time anxious about the message arrival beep sneaking through my pocket while driving, attending meetings, eating and mostly doing nothing. It took me time to realise that I could mute the sound. This was a major relief but made me feel guilty all the time. I started listening to all the silent shouts of my friends, emanating from my smart toy, who are D.A.S. Babus [Desperate Attention Seekers] like me. So WhatsAppening? Barring the divine duty of ‘chai’ making as part of my nuptial agreement that the priest enforced on me through Sanskrit Shlokas I never understood, life has taken a different turn. If I had the power to venture out of my body to look at my 24 hours breathing cycle, I could only ask one question, “What’s up bro, WhatsApp?”
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#40 July 1, 2015
Window for action loving PROFESSIONALS
My days begins with spirituality. I wonder where this was hidden in my friends before the era of WhatsApp! I have seen most of my friends, literally high spirited in most of the gatherings, teasing me on the benefits of getting high and often cajoling me to get started. Their spirituality inspires me and deep inside I respect them for all the good morale standing they start their day with. My guilty quotient has seen a major improvement. I love my mom but it seems I am not doing enough. With every forward that I receive, I feel like sinking in my river of tears. O God, my friends are doing so much for their parents and here I am doing nothing beyond the routines. Pathetic me! What more? I find that I am not doing enough for my country, my religion and not even picking up guns to correct all the injustice that has been done to all the Hindus during the period that no one can certify to be distinctly true. Bad. Very Bad. Some of my friends found me to be very old and backward in my orientation. I resisted the XXX stuff that initially found its way in the WhatsApp group. Me or XXX? Thankfully, they rejected me and found a different group without the hang up of the troublesome me. God, save them from forwarding stuff through inadvertence. The law is not kind when someone wants to play it against you.
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#40 July 1, 2015
Window for action loving PROFESSIONALS
Running the WhatsApp group is a total thankless job. Unpaid too. All the Admins can vouch for it. Leave aside the Sardar Jokes, The Rajnikant Jokes, The Sindhi, Bihari, Blonde, Irishmen, Kejriwal, Pappu Jokes etc., the the Admin is now the major attention for each group. Come on guys, he keeps you together and you cut the same branch! Enjoy. Carry on guys. All Admins are large hearted. For the sake of regions, religions, races etc. the Admins can bear all the brunt. Just don’t pick up fights amongst yourself. Admins have a tough time resolving these both online and offline. WhatsApp is a great place for revision. All the jokes, stories, motivational posters, health cautions, social injustices, songs, ghazals, speeches, famous quotes etc. keep coming back to you again and again. Good for our memory. Every day, there is a flavour of the day. Something starts in a group and by the evening you find that in all your groups until it fades out only to be discovered by a new member of the group who re-circulates it with a self-attestation of being latest in the market. Most of us would have by now mastered the art of reading the first sentence and knowing the whole message. See the benefit of repetition!
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Quizzes, Mathematical problems, Civil Services questions etc. are another great way of testing #40 July 1, 2015 our I.Q. The sender is not a creator. Just a Window for action loving forwarder. He gets foxed when he receives it. He PROFESSIONALS decides to fix you with the teaser. Now you have two options. Feign ‘not read’ by keeping busy or try out seriously to search for answers in other groups or ask ‘google uncle’. WhatsApp is a great photo gallery. You can make other members be part of your party and celebrations without extending any invite. Be it the public pictures of your 30th annual honeymoon or to showcasing the 3rd teeth of your newly bought puppy to sharing the pictures of all the places you went which the members may find, “been there done that”. The printing of pictures and keeping the album under the drawing room table is passé. What’s the point in buying the latest high mega-pixel phone if we can’t click-share and click again to share!
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You may add more experiences and stories than these. But let me share something absolutely amazing. I was taken aback when two of my very good friends visited me recently for a professional meeting. Their experience and qualifications puts me to shame. All through the discussions, I kept looking at their cell phones trying to mentally calculate the year of making. Outdated by centuries as compared to the one I possess, smart indeed. I was in for a shock when both confessed during the discussions that they do not use WhatsApp or any other social media tool. What??? They are definitely not technology ignorant. They chose not to use – WhatsApp. Oh My God! Are they missing something? Nothing. At almost one hour a day, every day, I have lost 365 hours a year. Almost 45 working days at 8 hours per day. I calculated shamelessly when they left. Ooooops!
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#40 July 1, 2015
Window for action loving PROFESSIONALS
Shameless indeed! The God in me kept scolding me throughout the night. The early morning ‘good morning’ from a group member woke me up. I saw the Devil smiling at me through WhatsApp. “Pardon me God, the woods may be lovely, dark and deep but who will look after the promises I have to keep… these devilish friends won’t let me live alone and I love them too. Besides, what else can a mostly out of the work consultant do with an additional burden of 45 working days except to write this stuff and chill with friends on WhatsApp.” Life continues. Beautifully. Bountifully. “Make me a cup of green tea, now”. Sorry folks. Her Excellency Service alert on WhatsApp. See you bros. Where? You kidding…
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Rajiv Khurana CMC, FIMC International Management Trainer and Consultant, Executive Coach, Venture Mentor, Author, Blogger, Photography Enthusiast
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#40 July 1, 2015
RELATIONSHIP
Window for action loving PROFESSIONALS
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. Bob Marley
Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you. William Arthur Ward
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You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. Plato
Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational. Hugh Mackay I am convinced that material things can contribute a lot to making one's life pleasant, but, basically, if you do not have very good friends and relatives who matter to you, life will be really empty and sad and material things cease to be important. David Rockefeller
Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibility to love it, or change it. Chuck Palahniuk
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