RAK magazine November 2019

raisingarizonakids.com NOVEMBER 2019

Let ’em

CLIMB! Places to get started

5

ways to avoid raising entitled kids

A cornucopia of

FABULOUS FALL FAMILY EVENTS ANXIETY in the age of SCHOOL SHOOTINGS

Wilson Wiggins (8) of Phoenix.

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CONTENTS

November 2019 FEATURES

14

Feeling Safe At School: Helping kids deal with anxiety in an age of school violence In the second installment of our multi-part series on school safety, Sheri Smith explores steps parents can take with their children to offset the negative psychological effects of living with the threat of gun violence.

18

Raising Outdoor Kids: Let ’em climb!

20

What I learned in grief counseling as a foster parent

Kids just want to climb, almost as much as kittens and mountain goats. Lisa Van Loo says, “Let ’em!” and explains the benefits and where and how to get started.

20

Maggie Zehring writes about her experience dealing with overwhelming feelings of loss when her foster son was reunited with his birth family and describes how grief counseling helped her understand and manage her unique grieving process.

DEPARTMENTS

2

dialogue

4

az grown

Gun violence, grief and gratitude

• All Abilities Marketplace features young entrepreneurs with disabilities • Kids are raking in allowance, but aren’t learning how to save • Vaping is linked to severe lung disease • School tobacco use: an alternative to suspension • Sari on Science: Fun with fossils • 5 ways to avoid raising entitled kids • Dana Naimark: Reflections on 27 years of child advocacy • Common Sense Media: Tips for managing screen time

22

family time!

32

first person

10

• November top events • Fun runs, walks and Turkey Trots • Onstage • Around Arizona • Holiday favorite onstage performances

The time machine of now

RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

1

COVER PHOTO: Wilson Wiggins (8) of Phoenix with his mother Carrie Wheeler at Mormon Trailhead in South Phoenix.

dialogue

November 2019 | Vol 30 | No 8 PUBLISHER Karen Davis Barr EDITOR Kara G. Morrison CALENDAR EDITOR Carrie Wheeler COPY EDITOR Debra Citron

14 Gun violence, grief and gratitude THIS MONTH, Raising Arizona Kids Publisher Karen Barr caught up with Dana Wolfe Naimark, who reflects on 27 years of child advocacy as she steps down from her position as CEO of Children’s Action Alliance. In all that time, Naimark notes, “Obviously our world has changed enormously. Families have changed, our communities have changed, workplaces have changed. But what kids need is still the same. Really, the issues are the same.”

Children’s Action Alliance continues to push for public policies that support the health, education and security of Arizona children. And Naimark reminds us (as we vote for some local initiatives on Nov. 5) to “Vote in every single election. And vote the whole ballot, because all those [down-ballot positions] affect kids and families.”

One thing that has definitely changed in 27 years is the emergence of “active-shooter drills” in our schools, and the threat of gun violence that both kids and parents must grapple with across this country.

In our second installment of our series Feeling Safe at School, Sheri Smith writes about helping kids deal with anxiety in this age of school violence. Maylin Griffiths, a pediatric clinical psychologist in Gilbert, offers ways to recognize signs of anxiety and tips for helping kids talk and work through their fears.

Maggie Zehring bravely details what she learned from grief counseling after her foster

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child of two years went back to his biological family. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a job or a relationship, the same steps of processing and dealing with grief can apply, and Zehring shares seven helpful tools.

ILANA LOWERY, Arizona director for Common Sense Media, offers tips for managing kids’ screen time. Lisa Van Loo of Raising Outdoor Kids suggests ways to get kids climbing — both indoors and out. And Calendar Editor Carrie Wheeler describes a cornucopia of fall family events, from festivals to charity fun runs to the start of local holiday entertainment.

In November, we also focus on gratitude.

Amy Carney (founder of Parent on Purpose) offers five parenting tips on how to avoid raising entitled kids, where teaching gratitude is key. And Jessica Runberg reminds us how to hold onto those precious moments of childhood in “The time machine of now.”

We hope you have a happy Thanksgiving filled with great family memories as we head toward the holiday season.

Kara G. Morrison, Editor kara@RAKmagazine.com

CONTRIBUTORS Amy Carney, Sari Custer, Ilana Lowery, Jessica Runberg, Sheri Smith, Lisa Van Loo, Maggie Zehring ART DIRECTOR Michèlle-Renée Adams COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Allen Patrou OPERATIONS MANAGER Tina Gerami-Bynum MARKETING CONSULTANTS Shannon Cornall, Kate Reed, Mary Vandenberg IN PARTNERSHIP WITH

R aising A rizona K ids magazine (ISSN 1051-4295) was created to connect Valley families to local resources and share real-life stories about the challenges and joys of raising children. Copy­right © 2019 by R aising A rizona K ids, Inc. All rights reserved.

Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited. Subscription price is $20 for one year or $35 for two years. Back issues are $6 per copy. Make address changes on our website or mail changes to our office. Content guide­lines are avail­able at raisingarizonakids.com.

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CONTACT US: editorial@RAKmagazine.com familytime@RAKmagazine.com advertising@RAKmagazine.com subscriptions@RAKmagazine.com 5229 N. Seventh Ave. #102 Phoenix, AZ 85013-1974 P: 480–991–KIDS (5437) F: 480–991–5460 raisingarizonakids.com

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WHEN A BABY CRIES FOR METH INSTEAD OF MILK.

EVERY 15 MINUTES A BABY IS BORN ADDICTED TO DRUGS.

Abuse and neglect are all too real in Arizona. When it happens, children are placed in foster care, which is supposed to be safe and temporary. Too often, it is neither.

Our child protection system is broken.

Generation Justice works to mend the child protection system and bring a permanent end to innocent children enduring violence. But we need your help. Your donations give us the resources to work tirelessly in courtrooms and legislatures, doing everything we can to protect the most innocent among us.

JUSTICE CAN’T WAIT Donate today at genjustice.org.

RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

3

az grown good to know

Kids are raking in allowance, but aren’t learning how to save

All Abilities Marketplace features young entrepreneurs with disabilities FALL WEEKENDS ARE filled with festivals and markets leading up to the holiday season, but this one will surely stand out.

On Saturday, Nov. 16, the nonprofit Something So Worth It will host the first annual All Abilities Marketplace at Desert Springs Bible Church, 16215 N. Tatum Blvd. in Phoenix. All vendors will be children with disabilities.

The family event was created to feature kids with disabilities in a positive way and promote inclusivity, according to Something So Worth It founder Allison Lefebvre of Phoenix.

Lefebvre’s family was featured in a September cover story for Raising Arizona Kids magazine. She and her husband, Bryce, have three sons, two of whom have a rare form of spina bifida and require round-the-clock, in-home nursing support.

She started the nonprofit to empower children with permanent disabilities and their families by providing hope, connection, inclusion and education. Central to the organization’s outreach are “sunshine gift boxes” provided to parents who face difficult diagnoses during pregnancy. Lefebvre says the gift boxes offer “a little ray of sunshine when they’re in a dark spot” and begin the process of connecting families to resources and support.

The All Abilities Marketplace takes place from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. and is free to the public.

The event features food trucks, a special musical performance and, of course, a chance to do some holiday shopping.

Openings for vendors, volunteers and sponsors were still available as of press time. For more information, visit somethingsoworthit.org/marketplace

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KIDS ARE EARNING an average of $30 a week in allowance, enough to save around $1,500 in a year, according to a telephone survey of 1,002 U.S. adults conducted by The Harris Poll on behalf of the American Institute of CPAs. At that rate, a diligent tween could buy a used car within a few years, but only 3 percent of parents say their kids primarily save their allowance. Parents report most of their kids’ allowance is spent on outings with friends (45 percent), digital devices or downloads (37 percent) or toys (33 percent).

“One of the best gifts we can give our children is a solid education on how to manage their money,” said Gregory Anton, chair of the AICPA’s National CPA Financial Literacy Commission. “Simply handing money over to a child without guidance is a missed opportunity. By making an allowance a teachable moment, parents will help instill money management skills in their child at a young age that will help prepare them for the important financial decisions they’ll have to make when they’re older.”

Monica Sonnier, a CPA and member of the AICPA Financial Literacy Commission, suggests teaching your child to save and budget. “If a new game console is on their want list, show them how to calculate the amount that needs to be saved each week to reach that goal. For instance, if they receive $30 a week, but want a $240 gaming system, remind them that their goal equals eight weeks of allowance.

Then, if there is temptation to splurge on a spontaneous item, like candy in the check-out aisle, ask whether it fits into their budget. This will help teach how skipping short-term wants can help them reach their long-term goals.”

See videos and articles about budgeting basics and introduce your kids to calculators to help show and track financial progress at 360finlit.com

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A D VA N C E D C U R R I C U L U M

THE CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION is urging people to avoid e-cigarettes and other vaping devices since an outbreak of severe lung disease related to vaping has caused more than 800 severe illnesses and a dozen deaths across the United States.

Young people are especially at risk. The CDC found 22 percent of patients experiencing severe lung disease related to vaping are between the ages of 18-21, and 16 percent of patients are under 18.

The American Academy of Pediatrics and The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention remind parents that e-cigarettes are never safe for tweens and teens, young adults or pregnant and/or breastfeeding women.

So far, findings from the investigation into lung injuries associated with e-cigarette use suggest products containing THC are playing a role in the outbreak. For more tips about talking to kids about the dangers of vaping, visit e-cigarettes.surgeongeneral.gov

An ALTERNATIVE to SUSPENSION for NICOTINE USE AT SCHOOL THE AMERICAN LUNG ASSOCIATION in Arizona is offering local schools new resources to educate students about the risks of e-cigarette use.

Intervention for Nicotine Dependence: Education, Prevention, Tobacco and Health (INDEPTH) is an alternative to suspension that helps schools address the teen vaping problem in a supportive way.

“Each year, we see many students in Arizona suspended for using tobacco and e-cigarette products,” said Tammy Rocker, division vice president of the American Lung Association, in a statement. “The answer to this epidemic is not suspension but education. The INDEPTH program offers in-school education so that students can live tobacco-free lives.”

Schools can sign up for INDEPTH at Lung.org/indepth. More information about e-cigarettes and lung health can be found at Lung.org/ecigs, including resources to help prevent teens from starting and to help them quit.

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RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

5

az grown STEM

SARI ON SCIENCE

FUN WITH FOSSILS

By Sari Custer

WHO DOESN’T LOVE DINOSAURS? My daughter and I both love these prehistoric creatures, so imagine her surprise when she asked me if she could meet a Tyrannosaurus rex, and I got to say, ‘“Yes!” In preparing for Arizona Science Center’s exhibition, “Victoria the T. rex,” opening Nov. 17, I used this activity to help explain to Carson how fossils are formed, and how we can still see the remains of dinosaurs and prehistoric plants, even though they are millions of years old.

Did you know? While the Tyrannosaurus rex lived more than 65 million years ago, the oldest known fossils are actually of cyanobacteria in layered formations called stromatolites. They date back 3.5 billion years!

Supplies: • Crafting clay that will harden (playdough works, too) • Plastic dinosaurs or other toys with feet • Leaves (real leaves work best) • Shells (available at your local craft store if you don’t have these beach souvenirs) • Optional: A drinking glass that’s flat on the bottom Directions: 1. Flatten out four balls of clay into small disc shapes (about 3 inches across). Make them a little thick.

2. Choose a leaf. Use the cup to press the leaf into one of the clay discs, then carefully remove the leaf.

3. Choose a dinosaur toy. Have the toy “walk” across the second clay disc and leave tracks.

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RaisingARIZONAKids.com

4. Choose a shell. Press shell into the third clay disc and cover with the last disc. Gently press down.

5. Make a notch in the same place on both discs so you can line them up again later. Gently pull the top disc off, then remove the shell.

6. Leave your clay discs to dry, then compare them.

7. Use your two hardened “shell” discs and line up the notches. Place a soft ball of clay between the imprints and press down.

8. Gently pull apart and observe the results.

What’s happening?

Fossils are actually pretty rare. Most plants, animals, and other organisms completely decay after they die. Conditions have to be just right for a fossil to form, and the remains must be quickly covered by sediment (sand, mud, tar, etc.). We are more likely to see the hard parts: bones, teeth, shells, and sometimes feathers, after minerals seep into them

and they harden with the rock layers.

In this activity, we are making different types of fossils: tracks, imprints, and with the shell, a mold and cast. Animal tracks, leaf imprints, and burrows are what we call trace fossils, because they are just “traces” of the organism they came from, not the actual plant or animal. If an organism completely dissolves in sedimentary rock, it can leave an impression in the rock, called a mold. If that mold gets filled with other minerals, it becomes a cast and looks like the original organism, even though it is not.

How did your shell cast turn out? Which of these fossils looks more like the original plant or animal?

Do you know of any other types of fossils? Where else do we use/see molds and casts?

Give fossil-making a try, then visit Victoria: the T. rex, the largest Tyrannosaurus rex to tour the world and the second most complete T. rex ever discovered. This immersive, interactive exhibition promises to transport you to the time of the dinosaurs!

Sari Custer is a lifelong science junkie, Chief Scientist and Curiosity Officer at Arizona Science Center, and mom to daughter Carson (5). Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @ SariOnScience.

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At the Phoenix Zoo, we are scaly things and furry things.

We are fast things and slow things, tall things and short things. We are thousands of living, breathing mammals, reptiles, birds, insects, f i s h a n d a m p h i b i a n s t h a t yo u a b s o l u te l y h ave to s e e . P h o e n i x Zo o. T h a t ’s zo o we a re .

For tickets, hours and many more things, visit phoenixzoo.org.

RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

7

az grown giving back

5

ways to avoid raising entitled kids

By Amy Carney

AS PARENTS, IT’S ONLY NATURAL that we try our best to give our kids everything we didn’t have growing up and to do everything in our power to make our children’s lives easier.

But in our quest to create happy kids, are we giving, buying and doing too much for our sons and daughters, while expecting very little in return?

If so, we may be raising a generation of children who only think of me, myself and I. Here are ways parents can purposely combat an entitlement mentality: 1. Allow kids to struggle. We mustn’t continuously swoop in and save the day, but instead allow our sons or daughters to struggle through mistakes, mishaps and failures that naturally arise. This teaches the value of resilience.

“Parents have to proactively teach children the lessons that we learned throughout our own lives, that developed us into the people we are today,” writes Richard Watts, author of “Entitlemania: How Not to Spoil Your Kids and What to Do if You Have” (River Grove Books, 2018). If kids don’t struggle, they won’t know how to overcome obstacles in the real world. Watts adds: “In the name of protecting their children, parents create a literal disconnect between the real world and the safe and ideal world in which they would have their children live.”

2. Prioritize other people. Show rather than tell your children why it’s essential to think of other people. Carve out time on your busy calendar to consistently volunteer together as a family.

Many local organizations welcome families who volunteer together, even with children as young as 5. This helps teach values including kindness, empathy and compassion.

Also, create opportunities regularly for

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Zion Teasley (18) of Phoenix has been volunteering since childhood.

your child to give back to others who might be in greater need. “Empathy is missing in a lot of entitled kids,” explains Watts. Entitled kids often have a hard time relating to “people who don’t have what they have.”

3. Expect children to contribute. Whether a child is a toddler or a teen, he or she should be expected to contribute to the family. Having your child responsible for regular chores tells them that they are a valuable part of your family and that their contribution to your home matters. This also teaches the value of hard work.

Don’t merely give your kids chores that benefit them, such as doing their own laundry or making their own bed. Ask them to pitch in and help with things that will benefit the entire family, such as helping with dinner or even cleaning all of the bathrooms. Children should also contribute financially to material purchases they want as they grow older.

4. Teach kids to write thank-you notes.

Gratitude is the antidote to entitlement. One way to create a habit of thankfulness in your home is to have your kids write and send

thank-you notes. Any time your child receives a gift and hasn’t had the opportunity to thank the giver in person, they should be expected to mail a note of appreciation.

5. Delay gratification. Teach the value of patience. Your child most likely doesn’t need that material item that he or she is begging for.

No matter if you can afford the technology or toy, say no to buying it for them. Allow your child to save up their money over time to buy an item they want. And don’t be afraid to make some purchases off-limits.

We don’t deny our children to be mean, but to teach them life skills, lessons and values that will serve them well in adulthood. Our job as parents is not to indulge them, but to raise hard-working, gracious, and empathetic adults that our world desperately needs.

Amy Carney is a Paradise Valley writer, speaker, founder of Parent on Purpose and the author of a book by the same name. She is the mother of five children ages 12 to 17. Learn more at amycarney.com.

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RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

9

az grown community

DANA WOLFE NAIMARK Reflections on 27 years of child advocacy

By Karen Davis Barr IN SEPTEMBER, DANA WOLFE NAIMARK stepped down as CEO of Children’s Action Alliance, a Phoenix-based nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that advocates on behalf of policies that support the health, education and security of Arizona children.

A send-off party for Naimark, held at the Children’s Museum of Phoenix, was packed with staff, supporters, friends, family (including her two grown sons) and more than a few admiring fans from state and local government — among them Phoenix Mayor Kate Gallego, Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, former Tempe Councilman Corey Woods and former state legislator-turnedlobbyist Chris Herstam.

The event could only be described as a love fest. It was packed with heartfelt speeches, emotion-laced voices, lots of hugs, a video retrospective of Naimark’s life and career and even a quirky, almost-life-size photo cutout that captured Naimark — who is widely known for her fierce intellect, dogged determination and sharply honed analytical skills — during a much more whimsical moment.

The celebration marked the end of Naimark’s long tenure at Children’s Action Alliance, but no one thought of it as a retirement party. The buzz in the room centered on speculation about what Naimark will do next.

During an interview a few days earlier, Naimark seemed remarkably serene, at peace with her carefully planned life transition and looking forward to changing directions. She praised the organization’s choice of Siman Qaasim to succeed her.

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Naimark served Children’s Action Alliance for 27 years, the last 13 as president and CEO. She has described those years as full of “diverse challenges, heart-wrenching realities, and happy steps forward.” She is confident and enthusiastic about CAA’s future under Qaasim’s leadership.

But Naimark is not done with advocacy.

She fervently believes programs that strengthen children and families offer the single most impactful way to effect long-term, positive change in our state. She will unquestionably find herself a new platform from which to channel that passion. First, she says, she will take time to enjoy a few extra Zumba classes or pursue a new interest like taiko drumming.

What childhood issues were most pressing when you joined Children’s Action Alliance in the early 1990s? The focus in the beginning was childcare/early childhood education and childhood abuse and neglect.

What I worked on very early on [was a response to] proposals for massive budget cuts in human services. Ha! Sound familiar? That’s the first thing I remember doing — coming up with strategies to fight those budget cuts.

How about now? Obviously our world has changed enormously. Families have changed, our communities have changed, workplaces have changed. But what kids need is still the same. Really, the issues are the same.

It’s not that we haven’t changed anything [along the way]. We have to remind ourselves of that. You change things that are affecting kids’ lives for a period of time. Then it might get broken, or get weakened, or get undone, and you have to go back and do it again. Or circumstances change and you might need a different thing.

I think today there is much more interest, though not yet action, and a growing understanding of the issues of racism, systemic racism, income inequality and how those issues underlie many of the gaps for kids. I think that is a growing learning and an emerging change for child advocates and community leaders. It hasn’t yet been translated to action, but I think it will be.

Did you ever feel like you were taking three steps forward and two steps back?

You’re always dealing with the winds of change, and new groups of legislators. To be in advocacy you have to know it’s a long term venture. There’s always the next thing to do or try and the work is never done. It just isn’t.

Was there anything about your childhood and the way you were raised that influenced your career path and your passion for advocacy?

I’m very, very lucky. I had a great childhood: two loving parents, great opportunities, great schools, great after-school activities. We were financially stable. My parents instilled in us that we were lucky to have everything we needed and we didn’t need more. The world is better off if everyone has what they need. It’s not about more, more, more.

That was instilled in us as kids — not like a sit-down lesson at the dinner table but just in the way my parents approached the world, and their generosity to other people and to causes.

My mom does a huge amount of volunteer work, so definitely observing that [had an impact]. But beyond that it’s how they treat other people, what they’re interested in, what they talk about, the fact that they read the newspaper every day. I saw that and saw the connection to the bigger world.

When did you realize your calling to mission-based work? My first job in Arizona was as budget analyst for the Joint Legislative

Budget Committee, where I learned so much that I still use every day. You’re serving all the legislators, you’re analyzing the numbers and offering options, but you’re not taking a position and fighting for “this is the way it should be” because that’s not your role. I realized I needed to be in a place where I’m putting my stamp on things and trying to shape things the way I think makes the world better.

There are so many important issues.

How do you decide, when you have a small team, how to focus that energy and talent? The first year I was there I remember feeling overwhelmed, not by the tasks of the job but by the enormity of the issues and the struggles children and families are facing — just feeling that it’s so huge and so hard. And obviously that is still true!

It’s not always what’s most important, it’s a combination of what’s important and where you can make an impact. You have to think about taking one step at a time. You can’t solve it all.

You can’t transform it overnight. I remember that emotional feeling of almost being weighed down by the enormity of it and then growing into figuring out, “OK, you think about what you can do, where you can make a difference, and you focus on that.” There were times over the years, of course, when that [overwhelmed] feeling would come back.

What are some of your proudest accomplishments? KidsCare is huge. [Also called Arizona’s Children’s Health Insurance Program, or CHIP, the program provides high quality, affordable and cost-effective health care to low income children from working families.] We invested a huge amount of energy in partnerships, collaborations, outreach and awareness — starting years before KidsCare was created — laying the foundation, then working with [former Arizona Gov.] Jane Hull when she spearheaded creating KidsCare.

We worked to keep it strong, making positive changes and doing outreach over the years, then we worked to bring it back when it got frozen [due to budget cuts]. Right now 35,000 kids have affordable health coverage. That is huge. And it obviously has lifelong impact on kids if they can have access to health care.

Other victories? Well, this is more

intangible but it is just as important or more important: activating more and more advocates for kids. That has come in many forms.

There are many more people signed up on the legislative alert system to weigh in on bills, more people coming to the Capitol, more people involved in the issues. That is what will bring change families need. That, to me, is a huge part of our job — making it easier [for people to engage in the process of government] because of course it’s purposely designed to be complicated. Finding ways to make it easier, to provide people with tools, to get them excited and interested — that is a very big deal.

We’ve made tons of changes in the child welfare system over the years. Some are very tiny but they have a big impact.

What are your hopes for the future of CAA? We need more time and resources and systems to help families before there is child abuse or neglect, before there’s a crisis. That has to be on the to-do list going forward.

I think Siman will focus a lot on broader community engagement, and that will be very exciting. I have excitement, huge confidence and I’m just ready to be a cheerleader and see what directions they go in.

What would be your advice to today’s young parents who care about the future of Arizona kids? People can always make their priorities heard. So join either our action network (at azchildren.org) or the action network for any other group they believe in and care about. Sign up to get action alerts. On our system you can literally press a button on your computer to send a letter to your own state legislators stating what you want for children and families.

One other thing that’s obvious but worth repeating: Vote in every single election. And vote the whole ballot, because all those [downballot positions] affect kids and families.

Karen Davis Barr is the founder and publisher of Raising Arizona Kids.

RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

11

Using Common Sense

TIPS FOR MANAGING SCREEN TIME

By Ilana Lowery

AT

A CROWDED MEXICAN RESTAURANT in north Phoenix recently, my husband and I were seated between two lovely families — one with three kids who looked to be about ages 4, 7 and 10. The other family was a couple with an adorable 4-year-old, who was a bit cranky. It became quickly evident which family had a better handle on managing screen time.

The youngest child in the family of five was coloring on a placemat, while the two older girls were carrying on a conversation with their parents. None of them were on iPads or mobile phones. At the other table, the 4-year-old was listening to something blaring on dad’s phone, which he grabbed from her and answered each time it rang. Crankiness turned into a tantrum. Mom was texting.

Now, to be sure, there’s a lot I don’t know about the dynamics of each family. But what I do know is that we all probably see a lot more of the second scenario. To that end, I took a rather unscientific poll of parents I know to understand their best practices and biggest challenges for managing technology.

Gilbert resident Jackie Wright, who owns a Scottsdale marketing and public relations company, says for her kids, screen time has to be earned by doing chores or acing other responsibilities. Her son is allowed 1.5 hours a day on devices.

Jo Pullen, a Phoenix mother of two, makes sure kids — and parents — don’t wind down the night on screens.

“All screens (are) off in our house 1.5-2 hours before bedtime — including mom and dad, because that’s a really hands-on time of day,” says Pullen. “We let the kids watch cartoons in the morning, because we were raised watching cartoons in the mornings if we woke

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up before our parents, and we turned out OK.” Charlotte Shaff, a Valley business owner and mom of two boys, says the hardest part of managing screen time is dealing with how differently other parents police devices.

“You know what is the hardest to deal with? Other kids and their screens,” says Shaff. “My boys go to other kids’ houses, and their friends have all the games and full access to a lot more than what we allow. Or, when we go to dinner with other families, and their kids are on a smartphone, my kids are begging to use my phone to play with them, too. I think that is something that is not discussed a lot and is hard to manage as a parent.”

Unfortunately, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to managing technology. But there are ways to support using media and tech in healthy, productive and responsible ways. Overall, parents need to feel empowered to set limits on screens of all sizes. Depending on your family, these rules can be as simple as banning phones from the dinner table or eliminating texting after 8 p.m.

Here are a few tips for managing family screen time: • Work toward a weekly balance. Instead of counting daily screentime minutes, aim for a balance throughout the week. Get your kids to help plan a week that includes things they have to do — homework, reading, chores and activities — and stuff they like to do, such as TV or gaming. Common Sense Media’s Family Media Agreement can help set limits on behavior. commonsensemedia.org/ family-media-agreement

the skills they need to draw limits. (Sometimes you may need a blunt-force tool, such as turning off the internet.) If they prove they’re good at sticking to limits, ease off a bit. If they falter, stay firm.

• Have a family movie night. From on-demand to streaming to regular old broadcast TV, the options for enjoying movies together are endless. Family togetherness offers lots of opportunities to seize on

• Walk the walk. Lead by example by putting away your own devices during family time.

Show kids the behaviors and values you want in your home. Kids will be more open and willing participants when the house rules apply to you, too.

Just remember, adopting new habits takes time. Focus on what’s most important, work together to get the most out of media and technology, and set a goal to raise kids with a healthy, balanced relationship with screens.

Ilana Lowery is the Arizona director for Common Sense Media. She can be reached at ilowery@commonsense.org.

ISTOCK

• Help your kids learn to self regulate. Two things make it really hard for kids to get off their devices. First, they’re kids, which means they’re not great at self-regulating. And second, games, apps, social media and even streaming services are all designed to keep them hooked as long as possible. The path to independently managing their time is going to be rocky. Use tech such as screen-time settings and parental controls to help your kids gain

• Help kids reduce multitasking.

Common Sense Media’s research shows tweens and teens think multitasking has no impact on the quality of their homework.

But helping kids stay focused will strengthen both their interpersonal skills and school performance.

Encourage them to manage one task at a time, shutting down social media while working on homework, etc.

teachable moments that come up during shows — current issues, character strengths and flaws and more. Common Sense Media’s movie and TV reviews offer talking points to get the conversation rolling.

RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

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FRANCESCO RIDOLFI

Feeling SAFE at School Helping kids deal with anxiety in an age of school violence

By Sheri Smith

It

was the first day of school, and scrolling through my social media accounts, I came across the usual posts: Kids with half-grins posing on front stoops sporting new backpacks and fresh haircuts, ready to face the challenges of a brand-new school year.

The parade of photos and updates had become an annual tradition of August in this social media era, and I’d come to enjoy it — watching my friends’ kids growing and changing: Getting taller, losing teeth, getting braces, obtaining licenses, moving into dorm rooms.

Even my Twitter feed — which was often filled with political sparring — seemed to mellow under the aura of a new school year. Then one man’s tweet stopped me cold.

It was a post from a father. His son had come home from his first day of kindergarten, and instead of describing his teacher or the new friend he’d made on the playground or a fun fact he’d learned during “circletime,” the boy recounted the details of an active-shooter drill where he learned how to hide from a “bad guy with a gun.”

The father was devastated, not only because of the grim realization that such threats exist, but also because this was his child’s first experience stepping out into the larger world without him. And he could never get that back.

With this second installment of Feeling Safe at School — a multi-part

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“When we don’t have the words, physical symptoms emerge.”

When it comes to school shootings, the answer is “maybe yes” and “maybe no.” Do you have information that you should report? Is there a particular threat you are concerned about, or is your worry more generalized?

Helpfulness. Consider: Is thinking about this really helping, or is it actually holding you back to worry so much?

Productiveness. Is worrying the best use of your time? If you are scanning the room and checking where the exits are, that may take 30 seconds and could keep you safe. If you are spending hours fretting or are unable to function from worry, it may not be the best way to spend your days.

series on school safety — we wanted to explore steps parents can take to offset the negative psychological effects on our children, who are living under a constant threat of random gun violence.

To gain some insight, I spoke with Maylin Griffiths, a pediatric clinical psychologist in Gilbert whose website, raisingcharacter.com, provides positive parenting suggestions for raising responsible, caring and well-adjusted adults.

Recognize signs of anxiety. Griffiths explains that parents need to be on the lookout for signs that their child might be struggling with anxiety about school safety. Children of any age — but especially young children — may have trouble identifying what they’re feeling and why. Telltale signs of anxiety often include: stomachaches, headaches, avoidance of school, isolation from family and friends, fatigue and being short-tempered and irritable. Griffiths says: “When we don’t have the words, physical symptoms emerge.”

Help them talk about their fears. Once parents notice that their child is in distress, it’s time to help that child articulate what is going on. Griffiths cautions not not to impose your own ideas of why, how and what they’re feeling.

“We sometimes put a lot of our own anxieties

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on our kids,” she explains.

Griffiths suggests having open-ended conversations, such as: “How do you feel about school? What are your friends talking about?

What have you heard about what’s happening in the news? How do these things make you feel?” She says it’s best not to use the word “anxiety” as kids don’t really know what that means. They are more familiar with terms such as worried, stressed, nervous and scared.

Validate their feelings. The most important thing is that when your kids do start talking, be careful not to dismiss their feelings. “If children say they’re scared, they’re scared.

Telling a child otherwise is teaching them ‘you’re not a good judge for yourself,’” Griffiths explains. It’s important to validate what they’re going through, and then provide them with strategies to help them cope.

Work through their fears. When talking with your kids about their fears, let them know that there are two kinds of worries: “helpful” and “toxic.” “Helpful worries” are the ones that keep us safe by reminding us to use caution. “Toxic worries” are all-consuming and interfere with daily life and having fun. You can discuss with your child which category their worries fall under by looking at it from the following perspectives: Control. Do I have control over this?

Explore coping skills, such as meditation.

Parents can also role model behavior that demonstrates how to be alert, but not overwhelmed by anxiety. Practice selfregulation skills together, doing things like meditation and relaxation exercises to calm down. You may want to try breathing exercises, worry stones or calming boxes to let children experience what it feels like to be relaxed.

Then, you can tell them that they can return to this state at any time.

Help them trust their abilities. Help them to feel they can trust their own skills to calm themselves. Remind them: “You are good at this. You know how to do this.”

Know when to seek help. If you notice that your child is obsessively worrying to the point that it is interfering with his or her daily life or affecting his/her health, then it may be time to seek professional help. Getting help early may be a wonderful gift to your child, as selfregulation skills are tools that will be needed throughout life.

Sheri Smith is a Scottsdale freelance writer and the mother of two teenagers.

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RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

17

RAISING OUTDOOR KIDS

Let ’em

climb

By Lisa Van Loo • Photo by Allen Patrou

If

Wilson Wiggins (8) of Phoenix climbs at Mormon Trailhead in South Phoenix.

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given the option, kids generally wouldn’t choose a documentary when they’re handed the TV remote. But “The Dawn Wall” was different.

Our five only needed to watch the true adventure film of two climbers ascending a sheer granite face on El Capitan in Yosemite National Park once to find themselves identifying every boulder they saw as their own Dawn Wall.

And by every boulder, we mean every single one. If it was small enough for them to stand on, they’d reached the top of their Dawn Wall.

If they could climb it just a little bit, they were scrambling up their Dawn Wall. And if they could bounce off of it, they jumped off their Dawn Wall.

Climbing, like racing, seems to be primal. How often do we as parents cringe as our toddlers attempt to scale something that will definitely require Band-Aids in the moments that follow? How often do we have to tell our elementaryage kids to “get down off of that?”

And how many times do we have to remind our kids that door jams and pillars and brick walls in strip malls actually aren’t meant for climbing?

The answer is a lot. Climbing is a natural craving. And, it makes sense. It’s an activity that infuses the climber with confidence, builds

5

places to start kids climbing

If your kiddo is constantly crawling on the big red ball at Target, grabbing hold of a ledge and trying to pull up, or scrambling to the top of the bedroom doorway, it’s probably time to get them into a harness. Here are a few places to get started climbing: ❱ AZ on the Rocks is an indoor gym with plenty of routes to tackle, and they teach you how to belay on the spot. 16447 N. 91st St., Suite 105, Scottsdale. 480-502-9777 or azontherocks.com ❱ Echo Canyon at Camelback Mountain is a difficult trail with lots of bouldering opportunities where parents can engage and supervise climbers who are eager to scramble up and over big boulders. The hike is a challenge, so it may be better to emphasize getting over the boulders rather than getting to the top. phoenix.gov/parks/trails/locations/ camelback-mountain ❱ Papago Park has some areas that are good for scrambling, but nothing official. Take a hike and see where it leads you. 625 N. Galvin Parkway, Phoenix. 602-256-3220 or phoenix.gov/parks/trails/locations/ papago-park ❱ Phoenix Rock Gym offers spots to climb and boulder, allowing all levels of abilities to find a challenge. Pros teach you how to belay before you climb. 1353 E. University Drive, Tempe. 480-921-8322 or phoenixrockgym.com ❱ Black Rock Bouldering Gym allows climbers to boulder and hosts classes on climbing, yoga and boot camp-style fitness. 10436 N. 32nd St., Phoenix. 602-843-2724 blackrockboulderinggym.com

strength and endurance, and has the capacity to test limits.

“It’s innate,” agrees Kevin Berk, owner of AZ on the Rocks, an indoor Scottdale climbing gym. “It’s physically and mentally challenging. … For me, climbing is a metaphor for life.”

As parents, we can revel in the knowledge that climbing pushes kids to make their own decisions on the fly, knowing they have only themselves and the rope clipped to their backs to support them. And by doing that, the pure act of climbing instills a sense of self-trust that is important to feel at an age when the hardest decisions they’re making is between

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two different slushee flavors or whether they should trade lunches with their friends.

It puts them on paths where they have to overcome obstacles — like scary overhangs or a long reach — in order to move forward, giving them a primer for tough situations they’ll experience in life. And, it strengthens their mental muscle, positioning them in places where they have to rely on personal endurance to carry them through tough spots while testing their physical limits of flexibility and exhaustion.

Yeah. Climbing is a total workout.

Climbing doesn’t involve rights and wrongs, scoreboards or teams. It’s simply

the climber and the climb, a live puzzle, a challenge and someone who wants to conquer it. And the sooner they taste that achievement, the sooner it will influence their ability to tackle tough “climbs” in life.

Or, at least that’s what we think. That, and kids just want to do something cool without really knowing how beneficial it is for them.

Lisa Van Loo is a Gilbert freelance journalist. Ron Abelar is an avid outdoorsman and photographer.

Together, they are parenting five children. Follow them on Instagram @RaisingOutdoorKids

RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

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What I learned in GRIEF COUNSELING as a foster parent

By Maggie Zehring

I

got the phone call from the lawyer after dinner, as my husband was putting our kids to bed. She said the 2-year-old we’d been fostering for two weeks shy of two years would not be coming back.

We had dropped him off with his family four nights prior, with a backpack of his favorite bedtime animals, books and his beloved blanket. We kissed him on the forehead, held him tight and told him we’d see him in a few days. More than a month later, his mom brought him to visit us in the hospital after our new baby was born.

Reunification of a child in foster care is nothing you can prepare for, and yet, everything you can imagine. It’s grief in every way — a sometimes all-consuming whirlwind of emotion and, at other times, a “thing” that happened many days, weeks and months ago.

I knew I would need grief counseling the second the judge ordered reunification to begin. The decision was approved in court when I was five months pregnant. I knew myself, and I knew our family. I didn’t want to walk the unknown and soon-to-be extrahormonal territory of postpartum following the loss of a child in our home.

In the months since our little guy returned to his family I’ve talked to a therapist about all the feelings, ever-present changes and continual efforts and missteps in this grieving process. I’ve learned that everything you read online about grief is right: There’s no one way to do it, and it is not a linear process.

Maggie shopping with the boys.

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Everyone grieves differently. Every foster parent knows that reunification is an option, so my husband and I figured preparing for the challenge — and the different ways we’d handle it — would be key to our marriage surviving. We literally called out our personal differences and stood up for our own unique needs throughout this foster care case, knowing full well that differences in grieving or managing loss can become another obstacle.

7 helpful tools for navigating grief

Therapy. Talking to a trained professional about your feelings and experiences can be a liberating part of your journey through grief. Looking for the right therapist can be particularly challenging. There are online tools to help at psychologytoday.com and goodtherapy.org.

Meditation. Meditation is an ancient practice of self-centering through breathing, intentionality, and stillness. For the modern-day parent, the thought of accomplishing yet another new skill is mind boggling and overwhelming. There actually is an app for that called Headspace.

In our home, Nick defaults to more sleep and some movie-binging. I lean toward overworking and late-night crying in the bathroom. Our toddler talked about “his brother” day in and day out and melted down at the end of a day that reminded him most of his best friend. It doesn’t matter what causes the grief: loss of a loved one, loss of a job or a fractured relationship. Everyone grieves differently, and that’s OK. Grief hits you when you least expect it.

On a cool night in late April, I tucked the kids into bed and raced off to our neighborhood grocery store. I had about an hour to my name and was pointed and focused, going up and down the aisles. Then I looked up from my list, and I was hit by a ton of bricks.

When we dropped off our little guy for the last time, it was at the same chain of stores with the same dark night sky. As I was picking out spinach, I looked up and saw a handful of parents and their children sharing the produce section with me. Although this wasn’t reality, I couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone else’s kid looked just like the sweet boy we’d fostered.

I was a wreck.

I contained my tears while I used self check-out (for way too many items), and promptly broke down in the car. My whole body shook. Grief will cut you off at the ankles.

It’s nondiscriminatory, has no manners and can leave invisible marks forever on your heart.

Guilt is grief’s best friend. If peace and acceptance is the antidote to grief, guilt is grief’s conspirator. When we unknowingly said goodbye to this sweet boy, I was eight months pregnant. In the midst of intense pain and loss (and hopefulness for his future with his biological family), we were looking ahead to ushering in a new sweet someone.

Our third baby’s birth was incredible. It was swift, fierce and filled with unimaginable wonder. We didn’t know his gender before his arrival, and that added a special element of awe.

Exercise. It’s like Elle Wood says in “Legally Blonde” — endorphins make you happy.

Exercising is one of the best ways of protecting your body and mind from the long-lasting effects of stress and adverse experiences. Join a gym, take regular walks at your nearby park or turn on YouTube for a calorie-burning exercise session.

Reading “A Grief Observed,” by C.S. Lewis. Lewis writes about his own grief after losing his wife. His interpretation of grief — and his experience of his faith in the midst of his loss — was a mirror to my own. This book helped me interpret what I’d felt, anticipate what I might feel and explore how I can move forward with faith and hope still intact. “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear,” he writes. “I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid.

The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.”

Music. Play all the sad songs. I made an entire playlist of songs that prodded me to let out the tears I’d typically save for an 11 p.m. on-the-bathroom-floor sob fest. It may feel like you are only wallowing in despair, but studies show sad songs can help us accept grief and move through it. Musicologist Kay Norton observes grieving with music helps because “music has the same shape, the same ebb and flow as human emotions” and can push a person to “weep, or grieve in another way that’s appropriate to them.”

Food. Eating something sweet or savory in the wake of loss is a centuries-long tradition. Allowing a few extra servings of cake or your favorite casserole or fancy coffee can give you a chance to both enjoy something and remember the other joys in life amid a season of pain and loss.

Friends. This might go without saying, but hiding away from close friends and family in a time of grief for an extended amount of time is not helpful. Taking a break from parties or a big gathering might be necessary, but in isolation you can become mentally stuck. Take the leap of faith and text that friend or explain your loss to a colleague over coffee. We’re not meant to do life alone — especially when it hurts.

In the moments, days and weeks that followed, I vacillated between intense joy and relief and guilt and sorrow. I would stroke my sweet baby’s head and cry over the little red head I would break an arm to have in our home again.

When I nursed my son in the wee hours, I’d wrack my brain over the what ifs or how comes of our advocacy efforts.

Straddling those emotions has become more fluid and less intense, but acknowledging the guilt aspect of grief has been a huge breaking point (read: ugly crying) at multiple parts of this journey.

You can stay stuck in grief or take the leap to healing. Therapy and time has taught me that grief will linger in unhealthy ways if you let it. Unhealthy grief promotes

self-centeredness and can keep you locked in a certain perspective about your life circumstances. Healthy grief is both useful and cathartic, because it allows you to reflect on love and life within the lens of reality.

As you walk your journey of grief — or console those in your circle who are grieving — know that it is a sacred space. The journey of grieving is a well-worn path of humanity that, if we can do it well, brings us closer to each other and the meaning of life.

Maggie Zehring of Scottsdale juggles her writing and social media skills with being a mom to three rambunctious young boys.

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family time!

Día de los Muertos (Nov. 2-3) at Desert Botanical Garden.

NOVEMBER TOP EVENTS

By Carrie Wheeler

From interactive art exhibits to outdoor festivals, storytimes to the start of holiday lights, there is no shortage of activities in the Valley this month. Some of the events we’re excited about: history reenactments, author appearances and storytimes, fall festivals and anything that exposes children to the arts.

NOTE: Because last-minute schedule changes can occur, please confirm dates and times on event websites.

Find more extensive day-by-day event listings at raisingarizonakids.com/calendar

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NOV. 1 An Evening with R.L. Stine. The Virginia G. Piper Center for Creative Writing, Phoenix Fan Fusion, Changing Hands Bookstore and Burton Barr Central Library present a talk with iconic children’s horror author R.L. Stine of the “Goosebumps” series. 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Call for availability. Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. asuevents.asu.edu

NOV. 1-DEC. 29 Candytopia. A family-friendly interactive art installation celebrating everything candy, Candytopia has more than a dozen curated and crafted rooms, including a pool with 300,000 marshmallows. $28; $20 for ages 4-12; free for ages 3 and younger. Candytopia, 15147 N. Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale. candytopia.com

NOV. 1-3 Rebels and Redcoats Encampment. Experience the battles and interesting details of the Revolutionary War during this weekend-long reenactment. Who knows, you just might bump into George Washington! $10; $5 for children; free for ages 5 and younger. 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Pioneer Living History Museum, 3901 W. Pioneer Road, Phoenix. 623-465-1052 or rebelsandredcoats.net

NOV. 2

NOV. 8

Tempe Book Festival. Tempe’s annual event is intended to celebrate reading, writing and a love of books. The day brings together local authors, publishers and booksellers and offers panel discussions, youth activities and more.

10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Free. Tempe Public Library, 3500 S. Rural Road, Tempe. tempepubliclibrary.org

Karamo Brown and Jason “Rachel” Brown Storytime and Meet & Greet. Queer Eye star Karamo Brown and his son Jason “Rachel” Brown will present their picture book, “I Am Perfectly Designed” at 6 p.m. Or, participate in an 8 p.m. book-signing and meet and greet. $21. Changing Hands Bookstore, 6428 S. McClintock Drive, Tempe. 480-730-0205 or changinghands.com

Local First Arizona Fall Fest. Explore the 15th annual Local First Arizona Fall Fest with more than 40 food trucks and restaurants sampling local food, a kid zone with games, crafts and activities, three stages of live entertainment, a beer and wine garden and more. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Free. Margaret T. Hance Park, 200 E. Moreland St., Phoenix. localfirstaz.com Costume Storytime: Where the Wild Things Are. Listen to Sendak’s classic tale, “Where the Wild Things Are,” meet Wild Thing and get a picture taken.

10 a.m. at Changing Hands Bookstore, 6428 S. McClintock Drive, Tempe. changinghands.com

Chuck Wagon Cook-Off. Authentic 1880s chuck wagons from around the Southwest compete to cook the best meals using slow-cook, wood-fire methods of old. See which teams win prizes and get a taste of the Old West with a unique five-course meal from competitors. 6-10 p.m. Friday ($10), 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Saturday (free admission; $15 meal ticket). Tumbleweed Ranch at Tumbleweed Park, 2250 S. McQueen Road, Chandler. chandleraz.gov

Canal Covergence Water + Art + Light (Nov. 8-17) at Scottsdale Waterfront.

Holiday Arts & Crafts Fair. This local gift fair sells unique gifts and handcrafted goods and benefits the Suzy Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to bringing hope, help and support to families with special needs individuals.

9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Free. Tempe High School, 1730 S. Mill Ave., Tempe. suzyfoundation.org

WALTER PRODUCTIONS

DESERT BOTANICAL GARDEN

Fashion Week for Kids. This weeklong annual event culminates with a full day of fashion shows, live entertainment, games, interactive activities and special retail discounts. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Desert Ridge Marketplace, 21001 N. Tatum Blvd., Phoenix. fw4kids.com

NOV. 8-9

NOV. 2-3 Día de los Muertos. Honor departed loved ones at the Desert Botanical Garden’s two-day traditional Día de los Muertos festival featuring music, dancing and storytelling. Experience the Ofrenda exhibition, authentic Mexican food, a mercado and activities. Desert Botanical Garden, 1201 N. Galvin Parkway, Phoenix. 480-941-1225 or dbg.org

NOV. 3-MARCH 15 Legends of Speed. Phoenix Art Museum’s first race car exhibit features more than 20 legendary cars driven by some of the greatest drivers in history. Iconic race-winning cars by Maserati, Mercedes, Alfa Romeo, Ford and more will be on display. $23; $14 for ages 6-17. 1625 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. 602-257-1880 or phxart.org

NOV. 7 Talking to Children about the Bad, the Ugly, and the Inevitable.

Understanding societal ills such as oppression (racism, ageism, ableism, sexism), illness, violence, war and death can be difficult. It’s even more challenging when adults have to explain these tough topics to children.

This event navigates these potentially difficult conversations. 6-8 p.m.

Free. ASU Poly campus, Cooley Ballroom, 5999 S. Backus Mall, Mesa. talkingtochildrenabouttoughtopics.eventbrite.com

NOV. 8-10 Chiles and Chocolate Festival. Enjoy a sweet and spicy weekend at the Desert Botanical Garden. Snack on samples from Arizona’s top chile and chocolate vendors, plus live performances of Brazilian, Caribbean and Latin music and dance. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. $24.95; $12.95 for ages 3-17; free for ages 2 and younger. Desert Botanical Garden, 1201 N. Galvin Parkway, Phoenix. 480-481-8188 or dbg.org Wild West Days. Enjoy one of Arizona’s largest Western celebrations in Cave Creek.

Merchants host mini events and activities including a dance, pancake breakfast, chili cook-off, a bike race, pig races, kids crafts and live music. Free. Times and locations vary at Cave Creek restaurants and Sanderson Ford Pavilion. wildwestdayscavecreek.com

NOV. 8-17 Canal Convergence Water + Art + Light. This immersive, interactive art installation features large-scale artworks positioned both in the Arizona Canal and along its banks. Additional attractions include family-friendly hands-on activities, art and dance workshops and live performances. Presented by Scottsdale Public Art and Salt River Project. Scottsdale Waterfront, 4420 N. Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale. 480-874-4645 or canalconvergence.com

RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

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family time! NOVEMBER TOP EVENTS Arizona Pizza Festival (Nov. 16) at Margaret T. Hance Park.

NOV. 9 Arcadia Children’s Business Fair. Kids (and adults) can do some early holiday shopping and learn about business from kid entrepreneurs. Sponsored by Acton Academy, the Acton School of Business, the event has more than 125 booths for families to explore. Ages 5-13 (grades K-8) develop a brand, create a product or service, build a marketing strategy and then sell those products and services at this one-day marketplace that draws more than 700 visitors. Kids sell everything from treats and cupcakes to picture frames, handmade cards, pottery, art and, yes, even slime. 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Free. Arcadia Park, 3402 N. 56th St., Phoenix. childrensbusinessfair.org/phoenix Grand Avenue Festival. This festival celebrates its 11th anniversary along Historic Grand Avenue near downtown Phoenix. This family-friendly, art-centric, non-traditional walking festival highlights the arts, small businesses, adaptive reuse and recycling.

Enjoy local music, art installations, vintage building tours, mural projects and pop-up galleries. 11 am. to 8 p.m. Free. Along Grand Avenue starting at Seventh Avenue and Van Buren Street heading north to Roosevelt. grandavenueartsandpreservation.org Moonlight Walks: People and Plants. Enjoy a family-friendly stroll along the halfmile Judith Tunell Trail by the light of the moon, featuring South Mountain Storytellers and fun facts about the desert night! 6:45-8 p.m. $4. South Mountain Environmental Education Center, 10409 S. Central Ave., Phoenix. smeec.org Costume Storytime: Where the Wild Things Are. Listen to Maurice Sendak’s classic tale “Where the Wild Things Are,” meet Wild Thing and get a picture taken. 10 a.m. Free.

Changing Hands Bookstore, 300 W. Camelback Road, Phoenix. changinghands.com

NOV. 10 Tutus and Tiaras. Once Upon a Tiara, a children’s party entertainment company, is hosting a special dance event with three princess characters. It include activities such as tutu making, dance lessons, photo opportunities, ballerina-makeovers, a royal performance and snack time. 1-2:30 p.m. $35 online. Starz In Motion Dance School, 1880 S. Alma School Road, Chandler. onceuponatiara.com

NOV. 11 Free Entrance Day in the National Parks. The National Park Service offers free admission to everyone entering national parks on Veterans Day. Arizona sites include the Grand Canyon, Lake Mead, Canyon de Chelly, Saguaro National Park near Tucson, Montezuma Castle in Camp Verde and many more. nps.gov

NOV. 16 All Abilities Marketplace. Find fun holiday gifts at the first annual event sponsored by the nonprofit Something So Worth It. This kid craft fair features young entrepreneurs with disabilities showing off their marketing talents. Also enjoy food trucks, raffle tables and a special musical performance. 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Free. Desert Springs Bible Church, 16215 N. Tatum Blvd., Phoenix. somethingsoworthit.org Phoenix Pizza Festival. This event bills itself as an annual celebration of the most perfect food ever! More than 20 pizza makers will sell $2-$4 slices of all types of pizza. Enjoy live bands, lawn games, desserts, local vendors, a kids zone and more.

A portion of the proceeds benefit Downtown Phoenix Inc., dedicated to creating a thriving downtown. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. $10; free for ages 4 and younger. Margaret T. Hance Park, 1202 N. Third St., Phoenix. phoenix.pizza Touch-A-Truck. Kids can spend the day in the driver’s seat of a firetruck, police cruiser, construction truck, helicopter and more when the Junior League of Phoenix hosts its annual Touch-a-Truck event. Meet local men and women who build, protect and serve. Enjoy music, local mascots, educational games, bounce houses, slides, face painters and food trucks. $8; $35 to admit five. 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Horns-free hour for children with sensory special needs begins at 9 a.m. Aviano Community Park, 3975 E. Lockwood Drive, Phoenix. jlp.org

NOV. 16-17 Mac & Cheese Fest. Celebrate National Macaroni & Cheese Day with samples from more than 30 restaurants, a beer tent, a game area for kids and adults and a demo tent from American Beauty pasta. 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. $15; $5 for ages 5-12, free for ages 4 and younger; $75 VIP tickets. Salt River Fields at Talking Stick, 7555 N. Pima Road, Scottsdale. macandcheesefestaz.com

NOV. 17 Downtown Donut Festival. Plain, jelly, frosted or sprinkles. No matter how you like them, you “do-nut” want to miss this! Devour donuts from more than 20 local donut shops. Plus: craft beer, mimosas, coffee, music and a kids zone. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. $10; free for ages 5 and younger. Margaret T. Hance Park, 1202 N. Third St., Phoenix. downtowndonutfest.com

City of Phoenix Veterans Day Parade. The City of Phoenix honors America’s heroes at its annual parade, which starts at Montebello Drive, heads south on Central Avenue, turns east on Camelback Road, then south on Seventh Street and ends at Indian School Road. 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. honoringamericasveterans.org

Young Musicians Fall Concert. Arizona’s brightest young classical musicians showcase their virtuosity, technique and musicianship at the Musical Instrument Museum. Arizona MusicFest is proud to showcase these young artists in this entertaining concert. 2 p.m. $20. Musical Instrument Museum, 4725 E. Mayo Blvd., Phoenix. 480-422-8449 or azmusicfest.org

NOV. 14

NOV. 17-MAY 25

Holiday Crafting at American Girl. Girls ages 8 and older can embrace their inner crafter at this holiday-themed event. Stencil Studios, a local business, will bring supplies to create holiday crafts, along with ideas to get started. Cupcakes and pink lemonade follow. 3:30-4:30 p.m. $20. American Girl, 15059 N. Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale. americangirl.com

Victoria the T. rex. Get a small glimpse of the Cretaceous period when Victoria, the largest Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton touring the world, comes to Arizona Science Center. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily (closed Thanksgiving). $9.95-$11.95; free for ages 2 and younger; general admission ($13-$19.95) is also required. Arizona Science Center, 600 E. Washington St., Phoenix. azscience.org

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RaisingARIZONAKids.com

CREATIVE COMMONS: JIM PARKIN

Civil War in the Southwest: Picacho Pass (Nov. 22-24) at Pioneer Living History Museum.

NOV. 22-24

NOV. 29-30

Civil War in the Southwest: Picacho Pass. Celebrate the anniversary of the Battle of Picacho Pass, the western-most battle of the Civil War with battle reenactments from the 1862 battles at Valverde and Glorieta Pass. $10; $5 for children; free for ages 5 and younger. 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Pioneer Living History Museum, 3901 W. Pioneer Road, Phoenix. 623-465-1052 or pioneeraz.org

Glendale Glitters Spectacular Weekend. The 26th annual Glendale Glitters Spectacular Weekend kicks off when 16 blocks of downtown Glendale light up with 1.6 million twinkling lights. Enjoy holiday entertainment, food and crafts and play in a snowfield. 5-10 p.m. Free. Murphy Park, 58th and Glendale avenues, Glendale. 623930-2299 or glendaleaz.com

NOV. 23 Sesame Street Celebration. Celebrate the 50th anniversary of Sesame Street! Learn about different musical instruments and join a sing-a-long. Puppets, crafts, treats, plus a trivia raffle for nostalgic parents. 10 a.m. Free. Changing Hands Bookstore, 300 W. Camelback Road, Phoenix. 602-274-0067 or changinghands.com

NOV. 24 Harvest Festival. Fall is in the air at Enchanted Island Amusement Park in downtown Phoenix. Kids will love hayrides, bounce houses, a petting zoo, train rides and more. 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. $12; $25 unlimited access to Harvest Festival and amusement park rides; discounts with a canned-food donation ($1 off per can; $5 max per person) to benefit St. Mary’s Food Bank Alliance. Enchanted Island Amusement Park, 1202 W. Encanto Blvd., Phoenix. 602-254-1200 or enchantedisland.com

NOV. 27-JAN. 19 Zoolights. Millions of lights shine throughout the Phoenix Zoo during the annual Zoolights.

Enjoy a holiday tree, carousel and camel rides, lakeside music-in-motion shows, nightly snowfall, photos with Santa Claus, a 200-foot-long Polar Slide, live reindeer and the new Wildlife Lantern Safari. 5:30-10:30 p.m. nightly (excluding Christmas). $10.95-$19.95.

Phoenix Zoo, 455 Galvin Parkway. 602-914-4333 or phoenixzoo.org

NOV. 29-JAN. 3: Merry Main Street. Mesa’s holiday festivities kick off with an evening of music, food and fun for everyone and a 5:45 p.m. tree lighting ceremony at Main Street and Macdonald. The Winter Wonderland Ice Rink opens, along with Mesa Christmas Market, Jack Frost Food Truck Forest, a nearly four-story tall Christmas Tree, Main Street Express trackless train, Santa’s sELFie stations and visits from Santa. Friday and Saturday nights feature arts, crafts and local vendors. merrymainstreet.com

NOV. 30 Santa Express. Join Santa, Mrs. Claus and their elves for a festive holiday storytime that includes photos with Santa, crafts and a hot-chocolate station for kids. Following the in-store fun, it’s all aboard the light rail for CityScape’s tree lighting ceremony in downtown Phoenix. Noon. Free. Changing Hands Phoenix, 300 W. Camelback Road, Phoenix. 602-274-0067 or changinghands.com Calendar Editor Carrie Wheeler is the mother of Wilson (8). Send calendar info to Carrie@RAKmagazine.com.

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family time! fun runs, walks and Turkey Trots

Run for Ryan House (Nov. 17) at Kiwanis Park.

Dysart Dash 5K & Fun Run (Nov. 2). This 5K race followed by a kids fun dash (for ages 8 and younger) supports students and teachers in the Dysart Unified School District. 7:30 a.m. $25$40. Gateway Park, 10100 N. El Mirage Road, El Mirage. dysart.org/dysartdash Walk to Defeat ALS (Nov. 2). This 3K or one-mile fun course raises funds for education, support groups, access to care, advocacy and finding a cure for the currently fatal disease Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. 8 a.m. registration, 9 a.m. walk. Salt River Fields, 7555 N. Pima Road, Scottsdale. web.alsa.org The Color Run (Nov. 9). This unique un-timed race celebrates healthiness, happiness and individuality. Runners are doused from head to toe in different colors at each kilometer. Participants get a unicorn hero medal and T-shirt. 9

26 November 2019

a.m. $25-$50. Rawhide Western Town, 5700 W. North Loop Road, Chandler. thecolorrun.com Splash & Dash (Nov. 9). Get your feet wet and jump in for a 4,000-meter, 2,000-meter or 1000-meter swim-only race. The Splash and Dash is open to all levels of athletes. 7:30 a.m. $40-$50.

Tempe Town Lake’s north event boat ramp, between Mill and Rural avenues.

4peaksracing.com Suzy Foundation All Abilities 5K (Nov. 9). This 5K encourages all participants, regardless of ability, to have fun, exercise and help make a difference. Proceeds help individuals with special needs pay for assistive equipment not covered by insurance.

8 a.m. Freestone Park, 1045 E Juniper Ave., Gilbert. suzyfoundation.org

RaisingARIZONAKids.com

TMC Veterans Day Half Marathon & 5K (Nov. 10). Everyone is welcome at this 5K and half marathon inside Old Tucson Studios, which winds through the hills of Tucson Mountain Park.

There is also a 5K stroller division.

All proceeds benefit local community groups and veterans assistance organizations. 7 a.m. $36-$77. Old Tucson Studios, 201 S. Kinney Road, Tucson. everyoneruns.net Veterans Day Ceremony & Fun Run (Nov. 11). Honor veterans and their families with a 5K fitness run/ walk followed by breakfast at Estrella Mountain Community College’s Avondale campus. Bootcamp stations include timed sit-ups and push-ups, ammo-can lift and tire flipping. Stick around for the kids zone, giveaways, entertainment and Veterans Day ceremony. 7 a.m. to noon. $11-$35.

3000 N. Dysart Road, Avondale. 602418-5771 or estrellamountain.edu/ vetfunrun Pass Mountain Trail Runs (Nov. 16).

Pass Mountain Trail Runs feature 50K, 25K, 10K and 5K runs on winding trails throughout Usery Mountain Regional Park on the edge of the Goldfield Mountain Range. These runs are part of the Desert Runner Trail Series. 7-9 a.m. $45-$120. Usery Mountain Regional Park trailhead staging area in Mesa. aravaiparunning.com Run For Ryan House (Nov. 17).

Spend the morning helping provide programs and care for medically fragile children and their families at this 10K, 5K and 1-mile family fun run. Runners, walkers, wheelchairs, strollers, dogs, teams and virtual runners welcome. 7 a.m. check-in, 8:30 a.m. 5K; 9:30 a.m.

fun run. $15-$45 registration includes a shirt, bib, goodie bag and participation medal. Kiwanis Park, 6111 S. All America Way, Tempe. ryanhouse.org Bubble Run (Nov. 23). Don’t live in a bubble — run through some!

Adults, kids and strollers are invited to run, walk, dance or frolic in the 5K Bubble Run. Foam will cover you from head to toe. 8 a.m. $50; free for ages 4 and younger with paid adult registration. Goodyear Ballpark, 1933 South Ballpark Way, Goodyear. Bubblerun.com Gilbert Half Marathon and 10K (Nov. 23). This annual Shun the Sun Foundation event helps build shade structures to prevent skin cancer. Runners race through the heart of Gilbert and finish alongside the Gilbert Days Parade. $40-$85. 7:30 a.m. half marathon at Higley High School, 4068 E. Pecos Road, Gilbert; 9 a.m. 10K at Nichols Park, 700 N. Higley Road, Gilbert. gilbertmarathon.org

COURTESY OF RYAN HOUSE

IronKids Arizona Fun Run (Nov. 23). Calling all young athletes!

The IronKids event offers kids (ages 6 months to 14 years) a chance to feel the excitement of competition in a 1-mile or half-mile run, toddler trot (30 feet) or diaper dash (15 feet) while enjoying the outdoors. 9 a.m. $20. Tempe Beach Park, 80 W. Rio Salado Parkway. ironman.com

Turkey Trots Anthem Turkey Trot (Nov. 28). This rolling course winds through the beautiful Anthem community in the shadow of Daisy Mountain and Gavilan Peak. Please bring a non-perishable food item for the St. Rose Food Pantry. Participants who donate may win raffle prizes. 8:30 a.m. $10-$45. Anthem Community Center, 41130 N. Freedom Way, Anthem. 4peaksracing.com ARR Thanksgiving Day Classic (Nov. 28). The Arizona Road Racers annual event includes 10-mile and 5K runs and a one-mile fun run/walk. Pies are awarded for the top three in each age group.

8 a.m. 10-mile race, 8:10 a.m. 5K and 8:30 a.m. fun run. $5-$50.

Peoria Sports Complex, 16101 N. 83rd Ave., Peoria. 602-954-8341 or arizonaroadracers.com Sedona Turkey Trot (Nov. 28). Sedona Running Company presents this 5K, an out-and-back loop course on Soldier Pass Road. Runners looking for a challenge can try the Iron Turkey Challenge, running (or walking) the entire course carrying a Thanksgiving turkey. 9 a.m. $35-$40. Posse Grounds Park, 525 Posse Ground Road, Sedona.

928-282-6956 or sedonarunning.com Phoenix Turkey Trot (Nov. 28). This family-friendly race features 5K/10K scenic routes through downtown Phoenix, a tot trot for the littlest members of the family and a 1-mile gobbler dash. Also, back by popular demand: Pumpkin pie and cranberry course aid stations.

7:30-10 a.m. $8-$50. Wesley Bolin Plaza, 1700 W. Washington St., Phoenix. phoenixturkeytrot.com

For 31derful years, we have inspired young people to be the best they can be.

The result has been 196 criticallyacclaimed, fan-pleasing, award-winning shows. Come witness the magic that is Valley Youth Theatre!

A Phoenix Family Tradition!

The

Princess and the Þea Dear Edwina

April 3 thru 19, 2020

A Musical

Back by popular demand!

June 12 thru 28, 2020 PRESENTED AT THE

HERBERGER THEATER CENTER!

Discounted 4-show packages are available!

602.253.8188 | www.vyt.com RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

27

family time! onstage Chato’s Kitchen (Nov. 1-24) at Herberger Theater.

MUSIC The Nightmare Before Christmas (Oct. 31-Nov. 3). Tim Burton’s macabre classic takes center stage, shown on a huge screen as the Phoenix Symphony performs its colorful score following Jack the Pumpkin King’s quest to seize Christmas. 7:30 p.m. Friday, 2 and 6:30 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday. $30$98. Phoenix Symphony Hall, 75 N. Second St., Phoenix. 602-495-1999 or phoenixsymphony.org Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in Concert (Nov. 15-17).

Join Harry, Ron, Hermoine, Dumbledore and the rest of the Hogwarts crew for the fifth installment of the Harry Potter series in high definition, accompanied by the Phoenix Symphony Orchestra.

7:30 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 1 p.m.

Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday. $30-$98.

28 November 2019

Phoenix Symphony Hall, 75 N. Second St., Phoenix. phoenixsymphony.org Blue Man Group Speechless Tour (Nov. 15-17). The Blue Man Group returns with new and original compositions, acts, and instruments based in joy, art, music, comedy, social commentary and profound absurdity.

7:30 p.m. Friday, 2 and 7:30 p.m.

Saturday, 1 and 6:30 p.m. Sunday. $30-$100. ASU Gammage, 1200 S. Forest Ave., Tempe. 480-965-3434 or asugammage.com

DANCE Dynasty: A Martial Arts & Dance Epic (Nov. 17). Journey through the history of ancient China in an epic theatrical performance of Kung Fu and dance featuring world-class performers, dazzling costumes and amazing stories.

RaisingARIZONAKids.com

Watch dynasties rise and fall, battles won and lost. 7:30-9:30 p.m. $20-$45.

Chandler Center for the Arts, 250 N. Arizona Ave., Chandler. 480- 782-2680 or chandlercenter.org The Nutcracker (Nov. 29-Dec. 22).

Ballet Etudes presents its 33rd annual production of this holiday classic with Clara, life-size mice, swirling snowflakes, dancing confections and the Sugar Plum Fairy. The troupe performs at the Chandler Center for the Arts Nov. 29-Dec. 8 and at Mesa Arts Center Dec. 14-22. Times vary. $25-$29. Chandler Center for the Arts, 250 N. Arizona Ave., Chandler. Mesa Arts Center, 1 E. Main St., Mesa. balletetudes.net

PUPPETS Imagine This 2019 (Nov. 6-10).

Kenilworth Elementary students write

original stories, and a panel of judges chooses the best to be made into puppet shows by professional puppeteers, using a variety of puppet styles. Expect a high-energy, creative show filled with some wild antics and originality.

Recommended for ages 5 and up. 10 a.m. Wednesday-Saturday, 2 p.m.

Saturday-Sunday. $8-$12; free for ages 1 and younger with the purchase of a child’s ticket. Great Arizona Puppet Theater, 302 W. Latham St., Phoenix.

602-262-2050 or azpuppets.or.

The Little Red Hen (Nov. 13-Dec. 1).

Who will help the Little Red Hen with all the work it takes to get wheat made into bread? This sing-along invites lots of audience participation and shares a valuable message about helping each other. 10 a.m. Wednesday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Saturday-Sunday. $8-$12; free for

THEATER

CHILDSPLAY

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime (Oct. 9-Nov. 10).

Wrongly accused of murdering his neighbor’s dog, 15-year-old math prodigy Christopher Boone takes matters into his own hands to find the killer. When the investigation takes a personal turn, Christopher must leave his hometown to discover the truth about the murder and himself. 8 p.m.

Wednesday-Saturday, 3 p.m. SaturdaySunday. $41-$91. Phoenix Theatre, 1825 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. 602254-2151 or phoenixtheatre.com Bare (Oct. 18-Nov. 3). In this rock musical, high school seniors at a Catholic boarding school explore issues of sexuality and personal identity. As they struggle to come to terms with who they are, and who the world thinks they should be, they seek answers from their church, their friends and ultimately from within. 7 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m.

Sunday, additional matinees Oct. 26 and Nov. 2. Spotlight Youth Theatre, 10620 N. 43rd Ave., Glendale. 602-843-8318 or spotlightyouththeatre.org

“The Crucible” forces students together, tensions escalate into acts of bullying.

The play explores the demonization of the “other,” which is increasing in these polarized times. 8 p.m. ThursdaySaturday, 2 p.m. Saturday-Sunday. $15-$50. Judith Hardes Theatre at The Phoenix Theatre Company, 1825 N. Central Ave. 602-254-2151 or blkboxphx.com Wizard of Oz (Oct. 26-Nov. 10). When a tornado rips through Kansas, Dorothy and her dog Toto are whisked away to the magical Land of Oz. Along the Yellow Brick Road to see the Wizard, they meet Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion.

11 a.m. and 1 p.m. Saturday-Sunday.

Scottsdale Desert Stages Theatre, 7014 E. Camelback Road, Scottsdale. 480483-1664 or desertstages.org Anastasia (Oct. 29-Nov. 3). A brave young woman sets out to discover the mystery of her past. Pursued by a ruthless Soviet officer determined to silence her, Anya enlists the aid of a dashing conman and a lovable ex-aristocrat. Together, they embark on an epic adventure to help her find home, love and family. ASU Gammage, 1200 S. Forest Ave., Tempe. 480-965-3434 or asugammage.com

The Addams Family: A New Musical (Oct. 18-Nov. 10). Wednesday, the ultimate Princess of Darkness, has grown up and fallen in love with a sweet young man from a respectable family!

Everything is about to change as the Addams family hosts a dinner for her fiancé and his parents. Recommended for ages 5 and older. 7:30 p.m. FridaySaturday, 2 and 4 p.m. Sunday. $22$28. Scottsdale Desert Stages Theatre, 7014 E. Camelback Road, Scottsdale.

480-483-1664 or desertstages.org

Chato’s Kitchen (Nov. 1-24). Gary Soto’s hilarious book comes to life in Childsplay’s charming production about Chato, the coolest low-riding cat in the barrio. When a family of ratoncitos, or little mice, moves in next door, Chato invites them over for dinner. What they don’t know is that they are on the menu!

But things don’t go quite as planned for Chato. The mice bring a surprise guest of their own who may be more than this cool cat can swallow. Herberger Theater Center, 222 E. Monroe St., Phoenix. childsplayaz.org

The Burn (Oct. 25-Nov. 10). The Arizona premiere of “The Burn,” explores how social media impacts our conversations and identities. When a high school production of Arthur Miller’s

Annie Get Your Gun (Nov. 8-24).

Annie Oakley, the sharpshooter known throughout the Wild West, meets her match both romantically and professionally, in fellow gunslinger

Frank Butler. They perform in the famous traveling show headlined by the one and only Buffalo Bill, where the two compete, flirt and have adventures along the way.

A Desert Foothills Theater production at Cactus Shadows Fine Arts Center, 33606 N. 60th St., Scottsdale. dftheater.org The Sound of Music (Nov. 13-Dec. 29). Phoenix Theatre Company presents the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical that overflows with the indomitable spirit of survival — and includes some of the most iconic songs of all time. Warm, funny and inspiring, The Sound of Music reminds us all of the sustaining power of family. 7:30 p.m. Wednesday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Saturday-Sunday. $61-$103.

1825 N. Central Ave., Phoenix. 602254-2151 or phoenixtheatre.com James and the Giant Peach (Nov. 15-24). TheaterWorks stages Roald Dahl’s classic. When James is sent by his conniving aunts to chop down their old fruit tree, he discovers a magic potion that grows a tremendous peach, rolls into the ocean and launches a journey of enormous proportions. Peoria Center for the Performing Arts, 10580

N. 83rd Drive, Peoria. 623-815-7930 or theaterworks.org Elf: The Musical (Nov. 22-Dec. 29). This Christmas classic will make viewers embrace their inner elf. Buddy grows up at the North Pole. When his enormous size and poor toy-making abilities cause him to face the fact that he’s not an elf, Buddy embarks on a journey to New York City to discover his true identity, win over his new family and help New Yorkers remember the spirit of Christmas. 5:30 p.m. Tuesday-Sunday, noon Saturday-Sunday. $38-$95.

Arizona Broadway Theatre, 7701 W. Paradise Lane, Peoria. azbroadway.org Annie (Nov. 22-Dec. 22). Little Orphan Annie is determined to find the parents who abandoned her years ago on the doorstep of a New York City orphanage run by the cruel Miss Hannigan. With the help of the other girls in the orphanage, Annie escapes, and adventures and hijinks ensue as she finds Oliver “Daddy” Warbucks.

Scottsdale Desert Stages Theatre, 7014 E. Camelback Road, Scottsdale. 480483-1664 or desertstages.org

ASU GAMMAGE

ages 1 and younger with the purchase of a child’s ticket. Great Arizona Puppet Theater, 302 W. Latham St., Phoenix.

602-262-2050 or azpuppets.org

Blue Man Group Speechless Tour (Nov. 15-17) at ASU Gammage.

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SCOTT TEMME

family time! around arizona

The Polar Express (Nov. 8 - Jan. 4) in Williams.

North Pole Experience (Nov. 15-Dec. 24). Take a sneak peak inside Santa’s workshop this holiday season. Ride the Candy Cane/Snowball Express to Santa’s 400-year-old workshop, where you can assist the elves in toy making, tour the factory, get treats from the bakery and take photos with Santa. Friday-Sunday through Dec. 15, daily Dec. 17-24. Times vary. $33-$55; hotel and meal packages available. The Little America Hotel, 2515 E. Butler Ave., Flagstaff. 888-679-7268 or northpoleexperience.com

Friday-Saturday. $8. Heritage Park Zoological Sanctuary, 1403 Heritage Park Road, Prescott. 928-778-4242 or heritageparkzoo.org

TOMBSTONE Tree Lighting Ceremony (Nov. 29).

Dust off those cowboy boots for the lighting of the Allen Street Christmas Tree. The town “too tough to die” will light up its main street for the holiday season. 5:30 p.m. Free. Fifth and Allen streets in Old Town Tombstone. 520457-9317 or tombstonechamber.com

PRESCOTT

TUCSON

Holiday Light Parade (Nov. 30).

Celebrate the season with a festive parade around downtown Prescott, including a Santa sighting. This annual parade features floats, holiday music and community spirit. Join families at the After-Parade Party. 6 p.m. Free.

Parade route surrounds the Yavapai County Courthouse Plaza, 120 S. Cortez St., Prescott. 928-443-5220 or prescottdowntown.com

All Souls Procession Weekend (Nov. 1-3). At this annual celebratory event in downtown Tucson, culture and art come together to honor the memories of passed loved ones and ancestors. Community altars, exhibits and entertainment are celebrated all weekend long with several activities. Events include a children’s procession and All Souls Procession non-motorized parade and finale ceremony. Times vary. Free. Downtown Tucson. allsoulsprocession.org

Wildlights and Animal Sights (Nov. 29-Dec. 29). Holiday decorations, music, and light displays fill the park for the holiday season. Hot cocoa and coffee for purchase. 6-8:30 p.m.

30 November 2019

Tucson Celtic Festival & Scottish Highland Games (Nov. 1-3). Celebrate the rich heritage of customs and traditions at the annual Tucson Celtic

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@AMYIJAMSPHOTO

FLAGSTAFF

All Souls Procession Weekend (Nov. 1-3) in Tucson.

Festival and Scottish Highland Games.

Authentic food and drink, dancing, athletic competitions, storytelling and entertainment. Ages 7 to 13 can compete in youth athletic games and create a personal crest. 6-10 p.m. Friday, 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday. $6-$20. Rillito Raceway Park, 4502 N. First Ave., Tucson. tucsoncelticfestival.org

WILLIAMS Parade of Lights and Tree Lighting Ceremony (Nov. 30). Celebrate the holidays with tradition in the mountains of Williams. The historic town hosts a traditional parade down Route 66 followed

by a tree lighting ceremony. 6:30 p.m.

Free. Downtown Williams. 928-635-0273 or experiencewilliams.com The Polar Express (Nov. 8- Jan. 4). Experience storybook magic when you ride The Grand Canyon Railway, transformed into the Polar Express, based on the Chris Van Allsburg classic.

Families can snack on cookies, sip hot chocolate and sing carols. 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. train departures; 3:30 p.m. on select dates. $33-$82; packages available for meals and hotel stay.

Grand Canyon Railway, 233 N. Grand Canyon Blvd., Williams. 800-222-6966. thetrain.com

holiday favorite onstage performances family time!

A Charlie Brown Christmas: Live on Stage (Dec. 26) at Comerica Theatre.

The Nutcracker (Nov. 29-Dec. 22).

Ballet Etudes presents its 33rd annual production of this holiday classic with Clara, life-size mice, swirling snowflakes, dancing confections and the Sugar Plum Fairy. The troupe performs at the Chandler Center for the Arts Nov. 29-Dec. 8 and at Mesa Arts Center Dec.14-22. Times vary. $25-$29. balletetudes.net A Christmas Story: The Play (Nov. 29-Dec. 22). The 1940s tale follows 9-year-old Ralphie Parker in his quest to get a genuine Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. Ralphie pleads his case to the consistent response: “You’ll shoot your eye out!” Times vary. $22-$28.

Scottsdale Desert Stages Theatre, 7014 E. Camelback Road, Scottsdale. 480483-1664 or desertstages.org A Christmas Carol. The Charles Dickens’ classic Christmas tale of miser Ebenezer Scrooge and his journeys with ghosts of Christmases past, present and future who lead him to discover the spirit of the holiday season.

• Fountain Hills Theater (Dec. 6-22). 7:30 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays. $15$32. Fountain Hills Theater, 11445 N. Saguaro Blvd., Fountain Hills.

480-837-9661 or fhtaz.org • Hale Centre Theatre (Nov. 29 -Dec. 24). Times vary. $34-$40.

Hale Centre Theatre, 50 W. Page Ave., Gilbert. 480-497-1181 or haletheatrearizona.com

A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS LIVE ON STAGE

Elf: The Musical (Nov. 22-Dec. 29). This Christmas classic will help you embrace your inner elf. When his enormous size and poor toy-making abilities cause Buddy to face the fact that he’s not an elf, Buddy embarks on a journey from the North Pole to New York City. He’s determined to win over his biological family and help New Yorkers remember the spirit of Christmas. 5:30 p.m. Tuesday-Sunday, noon SaturdaySunday. $38-$95. Arizona Broadway Theatre, 7701 W. Paradise Lane, Peoria. azbroadway.org

The Elves and the Shoemaker (Dec. 4-22). Santa’s elves come to help a poor shoemaker and his wife.

Performed with large rod puppets on their biggest stage, this is a holiday experience for the whole family.

Recommended for ages 5 and up. 10 a.m. Wednesday-Saturday, 2 p.m.

Saturday-Sunday. $8-$12; free for ages 1 and younger with the purchase of a child’s ticket. Great Arizona Puppet Theater, 302 W. Latham St., Phoenix.

602-262-2050 or azpuppets.org Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker (Dec. 5). The Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker takes the stage at Comerica Theatre in Phoenix. Whimsical and imaginative storytelling combined with Russian classical dance make this a unique performance. 7 p.m. $18-$85.

Comerica Theatre, 400 W. Washington St., Phoenix. comericatheatre.com Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus (Dec. 5-15). On Christmas Eve, 1897, in New York City, 8-yearold Virginia wonders whether or not Santa really exists after a series of unhappy events. Meanwhile, a young newspaper editor also struggles when he is faced with losing his job

if he can’t find his writer’s voice by morning. The spirit of Christmas is about to bring these people together in East Valley Children’s Theatre’s production. 7 p.m. Thursday-Saturday, 4 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday. $15.

Mesa Arts Center, 1 E. Main Street, Mesa. 480-756-3828 or evtc.org The Elves & The Shoemaker (Dec. 6-22). In this whimsical story about kindness and giving, cobbler Lockhart Cobblestone has only enough leather to make one pair of shoes when five elves create an amazing pair. 7 p.m. FridaySaturdays, 2 p.m. Sunday. $15.Fountain Hills Theater, 11445 N. Saguaro Blvd., Fountain Hills. 480-837-9661 or fhtaz.org Winnie the Pooh Christmas Tail (Dec. 6-23). Travel to the snowcovered Hundred Acre Wood for Valley Youth Theatre’s 24th annual holiday musical. A.A. Milne’s beloved characters — Pooh, Piglet, Kanga and Baby Roo and Owl — organize a search party to help Eeyore find his lost tail. $20. Valley Youth Theatre, 525 N. First St., Phoenix. 602-253-8188 or vyt.com Disney Junior Holiday Party On Tour (Dec. 15). Parents and their kids can sing and dance along to their

favorite Disney Junior songs and holiday classics with Mickey & Minnie Mouse, the Puppy Dog Pals, Vampirina and many more, plus a special visit from Santa Claus! 3 p.m. $53-$63.

Comerica Theatre, 400 W. Washington St., Phoenix. comericatheatre.com Cirque Dreams Holidaze (Dec. 20-22). Broadway musical meets Cirque adventure for a show that is holiday fun for the whole family. Singers perform original music along with seasonal favorites-with-a-twist such as “Deck the Halls,” “Winter Wonderland,” and “Jingle Bell Rock.” Cirque-style feats are performed by toy soldiers, snowmen, penguins, candles, reindeer, gingerbread, carolers, and Santa. Times vary. $42-$103. Comerica Theatre, 400 W. Washington St., Phoenix. comericatheatre.com A Charlie Brown Christmas: Live on Stage (Dec. 26). Everyone’s favorite holiday classic comes to life when Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus, and the Peanuts gang produce a Christmas play and learn the true meaning of the season. 4 p.m. $43-$65. Comerica Theatre, 400 W. Washington St., Phoenix. acharliebrownchristmaslive.com

RaisingARIZONAKids.com November 2019

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first person

THE TIME MACHINE OF NOW ANANT KASETSINSOMBUT

By Jessica Runberg

YOU KNOW HOW well-meaning strangers tell you to enjoy every minute with your small children? I’d like to give you permission to throw this unsolicited advice out the window.

You don’t need to reminisce about every “Daniel Tiger” song you sang with your son or every Target run with a toddler in tow, any more than you need to recall every meal you’ve ever eaten.

And then there are the times we’d rather forget: I’m talking about you, Epic Swim Diaper Blowout of 2014.

But what about the stuff we do want to remember? For me, this often looks less like a milestone and more like a slice of life — a nugget of this age and stage that I want to box up. I’ll likely recall the birthday parties and first steps taken without much effort, but what about the rest of it? I’m talking about those extraordinary, ordinary moments of everyday life.

Like the time my daughter and I spent a half-hour chasing a friendly dragonfly in the backyard when she was 2. Or that day when she stayed home sick from kindergarten, and we

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did a half-dozen art projects together as Taylor Swift’s Netflix special kept us company. Or the other night when we were both laughing so hard during her bedtime story that I couldn’t finish reading it.

The instant I try to imprint the memory into my brain, I think of Ethan Hawke. Or rather his character in the ’90s rom-com “Before Sunset.” And while all things 90s are coming back in style, I’ve never stopped thinking about that opening scene on the train when his character tries to persuade the woman he’s just met to disembark with him and explore after-hours Vienna.

“Think of it like this: jump ahead, ten, twenty years,” he says as he builds his case that she’ll always wonder how her life might have been different if she took a chance on him.

“Think of this as time travel, from then, to now.”

I couldn’t get over the idea of time travel in the present. Not in a missed opportunities sort of way, but rather the idea that we can look to the future to frame the present. When we hop into the time machine of now, we make a conscious effort to take it all in. A welcome side

effect of all this time travel? A healthy dose of perspective.

Many parents long to freeze time, to stop our kids from growing up — or at least slow down the process. The antidote is to revel in the now. So I think of myself ten, twenty years in the future, looking back on this moment.

I won’t be able to get it back exactly — I’d do anything to snuggle my baby one more time — but I try my best to savor it while it’s happening. I take a mental snapshot, and sometimes a digital one, too.

Just because I try to remember, doesn’t mean I will. So many happy memories already have been lost to time. But if I pause long enough to soak in bits and pieces of my daughter’s childhood, I’ll relish it even if I don’t remember everything. I’ll be present. In the moment. And when people remind me to enjoy it, I’ll smile and say, “I am.” And later, as the sun sets on her childhood, “I did.”

But that’s a different Ethan Hawke movie.

Jessica Runberg is a Scottsdale freelance writer and the mother of a 6-year-old.

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