RallyUp Mental Health Magazine Winter/Spring 2022

#RallyUp2SaveLives

Mental Health Magazine

HELLO

HOW ARE YOU REALLY? AMANDA FLUDD, LCSW-R, CCTP

WARRIOR ZONE:

DONVINNIE BOYKIN NIEISHA DEED

MHCA:

SHERVONNE

GROSE

SPECIAL FEATURE:

MAD:

ANTOINE ALLEN

PAMELA DAVIS

KELLENE DIANA

A LETTER OF

LOVE

MR. & MRS.

WILLIAMS WINTER/SPRING 2022 $11.99

THERAPIST, BRAND EXPERT AND OWNERS OF WHEN WHENLOVEALIGNS

TM

Photo Credit: Jackie Hicks- Fond Memories Photography

BY: LEX MORGAN

WINTER/SPRING 2022

OUR FIGHT "the strength comes from being tested by life's unpredictability" ~Matt Lauer

“She is clothed in strength & dignity and she laughs without fear of the future" ~Proverbs 31:25

*The fight of our founder is to save her daughter and anyone else; especially teens who are suffering in silence. As well as her daughter’s journey to survive Bipolar Disorder, her fight against suicide ideations, and the fight for all others who are living with a mental illness.

RALLYUP & SEE WHAT'S INSIDE FOUNDER'S LETTER

08 ONCE SUICIDAL, Now PureSpark NEISHA DEED

10

COTTMAN

07

JADA GUERRA

FASHION

25

12

Dr. Maria Banks | Pamela A. Davis Katy Parker | Alicia-Ann Samuel Dr. Nicole Cammack

I LOVE MYSELF, DO YOU?

18 YOUTH ZONE

Meet the Contributors

A Letter of LOVE LEX MORGAN

22

POETRY CORNER MY PEACEFUL NOISE

COVER STORY

SUICIDE WATCH

LESTER GREENE, THE CONNECTOR

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FAITH & MENTAL HEALTH

27

THERAPY IS DOPE

29

YOU BEEN SAD AND DON’T KNOW WHY?!?

PAMELA A. DAVIS

AMANDA FLUDD, LCSW-R

NICOLE L. CAMMACK, PH.D

MR. & MRS. WILLIAMS

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WARRIOR ZONE

DONVINNIE BOYKIN

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

KELLENE DIANA

PAMELA A. DAVIS | MAD

MAD

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36

SELF-CARE

KENDRA HATHAWAY

ALICIA-ANN SAMUEL, LMHC, NCC

MAKING A PRIORITY YOU! SherVonne Gross

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MHCA

SherVonne Grose

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DREAMS, GOALS & MENTAL HEALTH!

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33

50

SPECIAL FEATURE

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

49

ANTOINE ALLEN

41

BEAUTY SECTION

THE BENEFITS OF ESSENTIAL OILS

DR. MARIA BANKS, OTD, OTR/L

46

POSITIVE THINKING: CAN IT CURE YOUR ILLNESS? KATY PARKER

RESOUCES

56

MENTAL HEALTH MAGAZINE

SUBSCRIBE TO

Digital Mental Wellness...

1 YEAR FOR $12. issuu.com/store/publishers/rallyupmagazine/subscribe www.rallyupmagazine.com

Vol. 5 Num. 1

Winter/Spring 2022

Founder & Editorial Director Nikita Powell-Cottman Managing Editor: TJ Woodard Asst. Managing Editor: KeErica Brown Associate Editor: Paul Cottman Fashion Director: Kena'I Hollingworth Beauty Editor: TJ Woodard Associate Editor: Vanity Dawson Youth Zone Editor: Lex Morgan Media & Correspondent: Lester Greene Comic Illustrator: RJ Sterling Therapy is Dope Editor: Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R Contributer Writers:

Lex Morgan Vanity Dawson Andrae Hayden Lester Greene Kendra Hathaway SherVonne Grose MFT

TJ Woodard Talona Smith Tynesha "Tyi" Flood Kena'i Hollingsworth Torre "Tor" White KeErica Brown

Youth Contributing Writers: Nina Hollingsworth Calaeh Henneghan Intern Ebony Columbus Copyright © 2021 RallyUp Magazine No portions of the publication can be transmitted, reproduced, or distributed in any form without contacting Editorial Director Nikita Powell-Cottman.

All articles have been reviewed and approved by Nikita Powell-Cottman and her editorial team. tt

FOUNDER'S

Thoughts

As we move out of winter into spring, many of us are moving into new seasons. Spring represents new beginnings. This can look different to everyone but the end goal is to embrace something new. A time to let go of those things that no longer serve us any good and embrace the promise that everything can begin again! The ability to become unstuck, heal from brokenness, past trauma, abuse and start again. Yes, for some there is new love in the air, but for our warriors, it can be finally finding light in their darkness. I encourage you to embrace life as you watch the browns from the Winter turn green, the new life abounding; the babies, butterflies, birds, tulips, cherry blossoms and other flowers blossoming.

For our mental health, Spring brings so many mental health benefits too!

Here comes the Vitamin D, now most of us are likely to be in better moods and saying, “Good-bye winter blues!” Vitamin D deficiency is a real thing! Its symptoms include dark moods, depression, brain fog, among other things. Spring signifies rebirth, awakening, purity, growth, change, life, hope and among other things. Bottom line, this time of year is full of transformation so I want you to be intentional about creating positive areas in your life. This magazine issue is full of so much inspiration that will help you embrace your new beginning and Spring into good mental health. Now let’s be clear, the beauty of this changing season does not always bring the relief and newness we hope for. If this applies to you, do not hesitate to get help. We have resources located in our Green Pages.

Blessings & Love, Niki Powell-Cottman Editorial Director

LESTER GREENE

Media & Correspondent

Lester Greene is an award-winning actor/producer. He has worked with the likes of 50 Cent, Omari Hardwick and RZA. Lester produced two films: Raw Footage & Driving Force that screened on ABC and CBS. Lester is a National Radio Broadcaster for his show "Out On The Front Lines" on iHeartRadio via WDRBmedia, which airs every Thursday at 6:30am EST. Lester writes music reviews/articles for Medium.com; he is the proud author of his book: "Act Like You Love Yourself," and he launched his own film production company: "Lubey Jube Productions." He acted in the sequel female boxing film Lola 2 produced by Antoine Allen/Monica Floyd and another movie called "A Screenshot to Santa." Lester is also in pre-production for feature film Driving Force directed by Antoine Allen.

Fun fact: I love country music.

ROMA

New Contributing Writer

Roma mostly known by my pen name "mypeacefulnoise" Creator of poetry journal "Peaceful Noise, My Inner Voice" Website: Peaceful Noise, My Inner voice (mypeacefulnoise.com)

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 7 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

MEE T T HE C ONT R IBUT ORS. Dr. Maria

Banks OTD, OTR/L

is the owner of The Health Mamas; a company started to help pregnant and postnatal women safely meet their health and fitness goals.

Maria is a Doctor of Occupational Therapy with over 10 years experience helping adults achieve their functional goals and a Certified Pre and Post Natal Fitness Specialist certified by AFPA. Maria is also a mom of one.

Maria combines her personal experience and professional knowledge to provide a holistic approach to help new and expectant moms meet their health and fitness goals. She helps moms prepare their bodies for labor and safely recover post birth through health coaching, nutritional support, personal training and group fitness classes. Her goal is to build and support a community of women who take charge of their health and help to improve maternal health outcomes.

Alicia-Ann

Samuel, LMHC, NCC

Hailing from sunny South Florida, owner of Therapeutically Beautiful LLC, Alicia-Ann Samuel is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, Infant Mental Health Clinician, doctoral candidate but most importantly a mom. The many hats she wears, her Caribbean heritage, interest in mental health prevention and the love for children are the driving forces behind Alicia-Ann’s passion for wanting to improve the mental well-being of all but especially the minority communities. She’s a lover of art, books, music, an advocate for living in one’s value and a strong believer that chaos is inevitable, Alicia-Ann Samuel has dedicated her career in helping others find beauty amidst their chaos!

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 08 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

Pamela A. Davis the Founder of Queen of Resilience (QOR), Inc. believes to be a true Queen, God must be the center of your life. With labor, tears, and personal challenges QOR was birthed out of a need for women, especially women in college to receive quality support with acknowledging, managing, and being self-aware of the mental illness of anxiety, and depression.

Katy Parker is a wellbeing writer, blogger and mental health advocate who lives in England (UK).

She has worked hard to overcome her trauma, and she writes about her experiences to help others in similar situations. She is the founder of the PTSD: My Story Project, a safe place for trauma survivors to share their stories in order to raise awareness of PTSD and inspire others. She continues to share her journe on her Journeyofsmiley

Blog.

Dr. Nicole

Cammack a licensed clinical psychologist in the state of Maryland.

She received her bachelor's degree from Howard University and her master’s degree and PhD, in Clinical Psychology from The George Washington University.

Throughout her career, Dr. Cammack has focused on identifying ways to address the culture and systematic issues that impact Black mental health and wellness.

WHERE

THE BODY

POSITIVITY BEGINS

10 SELF LOVE DAILY AFFIRMATIONS 1. I love my body and all it does for me 2. I am enough 3. I am worthy of love 4. I respect my own boundaries 5. Today, I choose me

6. I love the woman that I am 7. I am loved 8. I am deserving of love 9. I am kind to myself 10. Love flows from within me

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

RALLYUP Top Picks for Pretty Dainty

­

Monarch Silhouette

Top Of My Game

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 11 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

OUR VOICES MATTER Platform for 18 and under

Photo Credit: Kayana Guerra

JADA GUERRA

Do you need help working something out? Do you want to talk to someone who understands, like another teen?

We're here to help! Call (310) 855-741741 or (800) TLC-TEEN (nationwide toll-free) from 6pm to 10pm PST.

Youth Zone Cover Feature

MENTAL HARMONY

I

for one know the struggles of mental health. Specifically regarding depression and anxiety. I remember it starting back when my grandfather died. About May of 2018, that’s when it happened, he passed away suddenly. I guess I took it hard because I spent the day with him just the Saturday before. When my 7th-grade year started, that’s when my mental health started getting bad. I wasn’t sure why at the time but I knew something was wrong. I was constantly moody, tired, irritable, and I remember spending a lot of time in my room. My mother wasn’t the biggest fan when it came to my new attitudes and behaviors which made it kind of hard to feel comfortable talking about my emotions with anyone.

I felt wrong for behaving the way I did because I thought, well, there are so many other people in this world who have it way worse than I do. In fact, I didn’t have it half as bad as those people so why was I acting like this? I was only 13, no bills to pay, no job, no kids– so why? Life can’t possibly be that hard for a kid who hasn’t even experienced life yet.

This got me more in tune with my emotions and being able to let it out felt good. I have to admit, some days during therapy weren’t my best. Some days I’d just go in there and cry for no reason at all. I was ashamed to admit that sometimes I felt so discouraged and alone that I would think about not being here anymore. No one understood me, no one understood my world. Though, with enough time and patience, I was able to become one with my emotions and was able to have more control. It wasn’t an easy process but through therapy and becoming more self-aware, I was able to process everything going on around me in a more healthy manner. My mother and I grew a lot closer and I’m able to talk to her about anything now. I’ve surrounded myself with positive people who are good for me and make me happy. It’s all about doing what’s right for yourself.

Once you become comfortable enough to know your goals, where you want to be, who you want to become, it’ll become easier. I’m not saying that my mental health challenges have gone away completely as I still struggle sometimes, though I try to make the most out of the good Soon enough my mom then got me in touch with a days and press on during the bad days. I’m writing this therapist who would come to my school every Friday so because I would like to spread awareness that mental we could have our sessions in the counseling office. I felt health challenges are nothing to be ashamed of and myself feeling better when I started talking to her because though it’s not an overnight process, with the proper help all those thoughts about me being judged would disapand support, you too can work through it. pear and everything we talked about would be completely confidential. That, and I didn’t feel bad for feeling the way I felt all the time.

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 13 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

POSITIVES OF HEALTHY LOVE & MENTAL HEALTH prayer agape emotional support healing loyalty resilence dating boundaries empowering intimacy neverending self-care communication caring friendship less depression positive self-love affection compassion happiness listening reduce anxiety trust

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Truly Black

POETRY CORNER

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£ ¤

¡ ­ ¢

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 15 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

Top Picks for

OLIVE HEARTS

SHEIN.com,

RALLYUP

PINKY PIE

One small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn't fall apart.

-Linda Poindexter

FLOWER CHILD

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RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 16 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

Your thoughts matter.

Your words matter.

Your experiences matter.

Your experiences are uniquely yours and no one can share your stories like you!

Your words are the exact medi cine needed to heal others.

CALLING ALL YOUTH to join our RallyUp team as contributor writers for our Youth Zone and share your brilliance with the world! Your voice matters to us! For more information about the Youth Zone, please contact Lex Morgan at: lexmorgan.ruyouthzone@gmail.com RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 17 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

Love

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RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 18 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

Therapist, Brand Expert & Owners of WHEN LOVE ALIGNS

WILLIAMS

TM

COVER STORY

are the evidence of When Love Aligns. Their purpose introduced them, and God’s plan aligned them. They are the couple that manages their individual businesses, blended family, business and brand, @WhenLoveAligns, all while making time for their marriage and love. @WhenLoveAligns is a space where Bashea and Tara highlight love, explore intimacy on all levels and provide coaching and events focused on cultivating healthy relationships. They have truly discovered the way to prioritize what each other needs in order to build and sustain a healthy marriage.

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 19 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

Photo Credit: Jackie Hicks- Fond Memories Photography

Bashea and Tara Williams

If anyone desires to come after ME, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow ME. ~Luke 9:23

Taking time to reflect on and evaluate your thoughts, feelings and emotions, as well as removing the things that don't serve you well in a psychological and emotional capacity.

heir story is a story of alignment.Tara and Bashea met in purpose.Being introduced profes It's the condition of someone's sionally as they served on a relationemotional and psychological well-being. ship panel in February 2019. Bashea was Wellness is the care of your emotional and seeking a brand overhaul and Tara was psychological needs. It is important to self just the woman to do it. Bashea hired prioritize those needs.

Tara and it was an immediate successful partnership. Along the way, they kept

things professional although their friends

suspected and encouraged more. They

started to connect on a more spiritual

level which led to an interest on both sides. Ironically, they both said no to each We both serve the community. other when one mentioned a possible As a Psychotherapist, I am in the community romantic relationship up until they both ensuring we are addressing the mental fasted and prayed for God to reveal if health needs of people by providing therapy they would align in a relationship that and psychoeducation. I am also modeling wasn't just business. They became and setting an example through the work I exclusive in December 2019, engaged in do. I hire clinicians of color who address January 2020, and married during the different elements of mental health. As a brand manager, my wife is pandemic on August 1, 2020. The viral couple host conferences, helping highlight the mental health profession by targeting markets coach couples, and travel all over the world. that may ignore mental illness. Giving it a new face, normalizing it and making it relatable and branded. She also connects athletes Paul Bashea Williams, LCSW-C LICSW is Psychotherapist, with my skills and practice so they are supporting and nurturing author, speaker, influencer, media host and thought leader their mental health on and off their respective playing fields. highly recruited to discuss relationships and mental health. He’s known as The Nation’s #1 Relationship Recovery Expert and has ­ been featured on HBO, ABC, FOX, NBC, Men’s Health Magazine and is an Amazon Best Seller for his book Dear Future Wife®: A : We both learned how to love ourselves individually.

Man’s Guide and A Woman’s Reference to Healthy RelationWe both understand our weaknesses and strengths. Dating yourself ships. which sounds cliche' but it's necessary to go out alone to find out

Tara Gates Williams, MBA, MS is an award-winning

entrepreneur, top brand expert and CEO of her branding and marketing company TGW UNIFIED. She specializes in working with corporations, licensed mental health experts, professional athletes and brands to build their reputation and increase their visibility. She is a sought-after speaker and has been featured on Aljeezra, BET, CTV, Huffington Post, ABC and numerous radio podcast interviews for her expertise in branding. She is also co-founder @WhenLoveAlignsTM along with her husband, Licensed Therapist, Paul Bashea Williams.

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 20 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

what you like and don't like. Going out alone helps people focus on themselves in enjoyable ways. Get real personal with God! Submit, pray and practice what you hear when praying! Developing a spiritual routine is so valuable. Go to therapy alone! Therapy provides a space for healing, accountability and peace.

Ways to know your mental health is impacting your relationship include detachment from one partner, inconsistencies in behaviors that once provided connectedness and knowing your partner, when the interactions are less frequent and more difficult. ­

Not identically. There are a few things we would encourage others to copy. Pray together, embrace vulnerability, improve communication, have fun, be open to the newness of your partner, be honest, and go to therapy together. ­ ­ The biggest challenge is to incorporate intimacy daily. We travel a lot and that's where we connect but we realized at home we both work so much. We neglect each other's needs because we're so focused on building our businesses and brands. We had to be intentional in pausing work to focus on intimacy in all aspects. Emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, social, financial and sexual intimacy became our priority and focus. ­

Self-care to me is turning my brain off. I tend to work non-stop and overthink and my husband has taught me how to relax and not take on everything that is presented to me. Self care involves traveling, meditating, binge-watching shows, exercise, getting the rest I need, leading my daily prayer call, and surrounding myself with people I love and can learn from.

Self-care is a consistent practice for me. Every Monday, I do whatever I want and need to refresh and restore. I sleep in, I go for car rides with my favorite music, pedicures, exercising, eating and cooking, writing, journal etc. whatever I tell myself I deserve on that day, I do and give myself.

Prioritizing each other is also a major part of our self care.

Keep God first, practice what you desire, staying committed to the covenant and commitment you made before God and each other is a must.

Always communicate to seek alignment! And… never stop going to therapy individually and collectively.

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RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 21 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

CORNER

Love is not misery By: My Peaceful Noise

There are people who love being miserable and want you to be the same.

It’s their comfort zone. But it’s not yours.

You try to save them but sometimes you can’t.

You can’t control their free will.

Don’t kill your self with them in the name of love.

Don’t misunderstand love.

Love is simple.

If it doesn’t bring the best out of you, it’s not love. It’s just a lesson life is trying to teach you.

Love is not misery. It’s happiness.

Love is not ego. It’s respect.

Love is not demanding. It’s accepting.

Love is not draining. It’s uplifting.

It just remains there whenever you need it.

It makes you a better human.

If it doesn’t bring the best out of you, it’s not love.

It’s just a lesson life is trying to teach you.

Learn it, heal yourself, move on and live.

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 22 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

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The Benefits of Adult Coloring:

1. Relieve Stress. Useful for for those who suffer from constant anxiety or experience anxiety as a side effect of disorders like PTSD or depression.

2. Self Soothe. Self soothing during a period of trauma is essential to coping, and many are finding that coloring helps combat tough experiences without getting wrapped up in the accompanying emotions.

3. Build Mental Strength. Coloring is so efficient in activating the cerebral cortex that the pastime can delay or prevent illnesses associated with aging, like dementia.

4. Exercise the Mind. Coloring is considered a good ‘mind exercise’ because it utilizes both sides of the brain’s cerebral cortex.

5. Easy Way to Relax & Have Some Simple Fun. Coloring has evolved from a children’s pastime to a legitimate form of therapy and meditation.

PERSONAL STORY

“SUICIDE WATCH”

It happened a few months ago in California when I was on set filming a movie. Little did I know I was about to be in for the surprise of my life. My cell phone rings, and it’s my childhood friend Rennie on the other end. I knew something was wrong because we don’t normally talk on the phone. It’s nothing personal. We just live different lives, but it’s all love. …

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My heart broke. It felt like time just stopped, and all I could hear was my breathing. Everything around me started moving in slow motion. I was speechless

And just like that, the conversation was over.

You have to understand that Waz was one of my best friends. We played basketball together; we went to junior high and high school together. I knew his family and his family knew mine. His passing really hit home. This is the first time I’m actually addressing his death, but after we graduated from high school, Waz started acting funny. I went to college and some of our mutual friends moved to Las Vegas. Looking back, it’s possible that Waz felt alone. I would hear the stories about him smoking crack and drinking alcohol, and it just didn’t sound real. The Waz that I grew up loving and knowing would have never entertained the thought of substance abuse or anything of the sort - but people change. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the hands of time, to that exact moment when he started acting funny. I would have said something.

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ONCE SUICIDAL, THIS BOSTONIAN TURNED HER PAIN INTO A PLATFORM

TO HELP OTHER MASSACHUSETTS RESIDENTS HEAL By: Nieisha Deed

Founder aims to destigmatize mental wellness and help more Black women in need

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ieisha Deed, a Roxbury, Ma native, is the founder of PureSpark. She spent 15 years as a corporate accountant until she was diagnosed with severe depression and unable to return back to work. After her recovery she founded PureSpark, a platform she uses to help educate the community on the importance of prioritizing their mental health. She is a mental health advocate and public speaker who is unafraid to share her own personal story to aid in the recovery of others. Nieisha Deed is turning the pain from her past into an online platform aimed at helping.

Massachusetts residents find the spark in life again. Her newly launched digital platform PureSpark is Massachusetts’ first wellness directory created with Black women in mind.

“As black woman, I found it difficult to find the care I needed,” says Deed. “I was seeing a therapist that I couldn’t really connect with and was prescribed with the wrong medication. I met another psychiatrist who prescribed the correct medication for my condition bipolar disorder, which I had all along but was initially misdiagnosed.””

That turning point in her life led Deed to use what she had been through for a greater purpose. There was no more sterility of her environment, no more being an accountant to crunching numbers, running reports, and analyzing financial records. What was next for Nieisha was true healing, healing that looked different from a hospital or psychiatric office and medication. What was next for her involved finding what gave her hope and fervor for life “Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for people ages 10-34,” states Deed. “We have to make it okay to talk about suicide and to receive help to become mentally well.”

The United States suicide rate has increased by 13% since 2001, and 46% of people who die by suicide have a diagnosed mental health condition. Additionally, the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) reports that only one in three Black adults receive the mental wellness care they need. Deed’s knowledge of these statistics, coupled with her own experiences and losing her fifth family member to suicide in one year, pushed her to launch PureSpark.

“Our mission is to help people in Massachusetts, especially Black women, increase access to care while decreasing the stigma of mental illness,” Deed says. “Our platform connects practitioners and clients in order to help people find a way to bring back the spark in their lives. We are dedicated to creating wellness that embodies the whole person, which includes the mind, body, and soul.”

To dismantle the stigma of mental wellness needs faced by many Black people, PureSpark offers a confidential, robust means to find care. The site features a portal for practitioners to register, create a profile, and collaborate with other practitioners and an integrated search tool that allows clients to search for practitioners by category. Practitioners can register for the PureSpark community by visiting

www.yourpurespark.com/why-join.

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RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 25 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

By: Pamela A. Davis

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RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 26 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

THERAPY IS DOPE

When we are talking about stress, we are referring to things like:

HELLO. HOW ARE YOU

Being a parent and not knowing if you can go to work today, or will get a call saying your child has to quarantine Being passed over for a promotion year after year and watching your white colleagues advance Constantly worrying about disappointing others The pressure to perform at work, sports, or school Working multiple jobs Family conflict and generational trauma Multiple caregiver roles Neighborhood stress, including socioeconomic status and personal safety Discrimination, which has been associated with increased risk of mental disorders.

REALLY? By: Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R ¡ ______________

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What is high functioning depression?

Why? Because we aim to please and don’t want to reveal our weaknesses and vulnerabilities. We are afraid to ask for help because we worry it wouldn’t look good, or maybe the judgment and sense of failure would be too overwhelming, so we maintain the image of “fine.” Recently, that image was challenged with the death of former Miss USA and Extra Correspondent Cheslie Kryste by suicide.

She presented as “fine”- successful, beautiful, intelligent, yet this tragedy occurred. It came as a shock to most people because how could someone who “looked like that,” who “had it all,” “who is so beautiful” do such a thing?

Consider the image of strength and intelligence, and the hidden juxtaposition of stress, fatigue, and overwhelm.

Those two images seem like they should not go together. However, it’s a dynamic that many people struggle with, especially women of color. Ms. Kryste was a reminder that mental health is an equal opportunity experience.

Photo credit: Vie Studio from Pexels

f you guessed “fine,” you are like most of us that think it's easier to consolidate our lives to a one-word response than unload what we feel. The truth is, many of us are not fine and haven’t been for a while. Despite that truth, we continue to show up for life, working harder, doing more, achieving, winning, and being flawless.

We all have to reassess regularly to figure out if we are fine. Take a moment to think about this, how does the stress and demands of your life negatively impact you? Do you notice physical symptoms like constant worry, trouble falling asleep, headaches, or gastrointestinal issues? What about your mood? Do you experience lasting periods of sadness or overwhelm? Is it hard to enjoy the things you once did?

When under stress for long periods, our physiological systems are taxed beyond what it’s designed to do. It starts to impair us, impacting our mood and contributing to mental health challenges like anxiety and depression[AF1] .

Depression can affect anyone—even someone who appears to live in relatively ideal circumstances, and it can vary in intensity. According to a Surgeon General report, Black Americans are over-represented in populations at risk for mental illness. Women are nearly twice as likely to suffer from major depression than men.

However, four times as many men than women commit suicide. Conversely, women attempt suicide more often than men, according to John Hopkins Medicine.

Suicidal thoughts, a sense of not wanting to be alive anymore, or not caring if you wake up the next day are key signs of depression. As well as, changes in sleep, loss of interest in activities, trouble focusing, low self-esteem, fatigue, and feeling down and out, sad, or experiencing a depressed mood.

High functioning depression, which the family of Ms. Kryste reported she was dealing with before her death, is a milder form of depression but more persistent. It can include the same symptoms mentioned above, but it tends to happen on most days, causing a nearly constant low mood and is typically ongoing for two years or longer. Most people can usually keep up with their responsibilities and function but struggle internally.

Why do people suffer in silence?

It goes back to why we say “fine”. It is RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 27 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

because we’ve attached particular meanings to what it means to say we are not ok or need help. That can include thoughts like others will judge me, people will think I’m weak or inadequate, they will minimize how I feel, I’ll be a burden, they can’t help me anyway, there is no space for that at work, and similar thoughts.

There may be some truth to the idea that the people in your circle are not equipped to help you. Still, it isn’t true that help isn’t available somewhere or that you have to maintain high-performing standards when you don’t feel up to it. It’s like trying to push a Porsche to its max, but the check engine light has gone off in the car. The car needs attention, and even as it receives help, and the crew works to figure out what’s wrong, it is still a high-performing car. Getting help does not negate your value.

value people for who they are, and not just their achievements, so they feel welcomed despite their experiences.

the emergency room if concerned for their safety their safety.

As we work to create space for hard conversations, check on your strong friends. Ask them how are they doing, come straight out about any changes or symptoms you’ve noticed, and even even ask: Are you thinking about committing suicide? It can seem like such an uncomfortable question, but someone is

You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging ~Brene Brown

We must also be willing to seek out the help of licensed professionals who have the tools to assist through talk therapy and even medication. As a therapist with a diverse mix of clients, I have to tell you they are the strongest people I know, and they never regret seeking help.

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Sometimes the intensity of an experience like depression or anxiety can make it difficult to assess the truth of our experiences. Our instinct is to primarily isolate and withdraw, which only complicates the experience further.

waiting for anyone to reach out and ask them, are you ok? How can I help? You may not have all the answers, but you can still listen and support.

How to talk to your loved ones about depression?

How to help a person suffering from high functioning depression?

We are all human and go through it sometimes. As a society, we have to begin to change our language around asking for help and see it as empowering. We also have to

Listen unconditionally and ask them what support they feel that they need. Offer assistance in getting to services like their primary care doctor, a psychotherapist, or

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Stage

Recovery Clothing ®

By: Nicole L. Cammack, Ph.D. or many people, the transition from summer to fall is an enjoyable time due to the shift in seasons, the changing colors of the leaves, pumpkin spice flavored EVERYTHING, cooler weather, and comfy sweaters.

However, for approximately 5% of adults (of which 75% are women), in the United States, the change of seasons represents the beginning of Seasonal Affective Disorder also known as SAD.

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Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that is typically triggered during the fall and winter months and the symptoms naturally improve with the arrival of the spring months. There is a much less common form of SAD which occurs in the summer and has a different pattern of onset.

There are many factors that contribute to a person experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder including shorter days and less sunlight during the winter months, which may be linked to a chemical imbalance in the brain. An important characteristic of Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is different from other types of depression, is that the individual experiences and onset of depressive symptoms and improvements from the depression around the same times each year. So, for example, someone may experience a decline in their mood and begin to re-experience depression symptoms every November and begin to feel happier around March of the following year.

Common Symptoms of SAD: Feeling sad, depressed, or hopeless Changes in sleep, usually indicated by increased sleep Low energy, feeling tired and drowsy during the daytime Loss of interest and pleasure in activities that you used to enjoy Withdrawal from others and increased isolation Irritability Feelings of guilt and shame Decreased sex drive Difficulty focusing, concentrating, or making decisions Trouble thinking clearly, feeling like you are under a fog Increased appetite Weight gain Physical problems, such as headaches or body pains Thoughts of death or suicide What Can You Do? Get active! Move your body. Exercise, go to the gym, take a walk in a local park or around your neighborhood, or even play your favorite sport with your friends.

Connect with other people. Do not spend a lot of time in isolation as this helps to maintain the symptoms of SAD. Be intentional about spending more time with friends or close family to help improve your mood.

Do an activity that is fun or rewarding. Take a few minutes to think of something that always helps you to feel happier or that you once enjoyed and do it! Doing something nice for others such as a volunteer activity can also help to improve your mood.

Participate in activities that are inspirational such as attending a church service, listening to positive music or a podcast, meditating, yoga, or even journaling outside in nature.

Set small realistic goals for yourself. This means that instead of setting a goal of saying that you will work out every day in a week, you can set a smaller goal of working out at least 2 days per week to start. You can always add more days of working out to your goal as your mood and energy gets better. As a reminder, it is important to break larger tasks into smaller more manageable tasks to help you meet your goals. This is also a great time to identify priorities and shift your focus to only those things at the top of your priorities list.

Treatment:

If you think that you may be experiencing SAD, first seek an evaluation from a licensed mental health professional or a medical professional.

Exposure to sunlight. Find a way to get more sunlight. This can include taking a walk, sitting outside, or even opening the blinds in your home to allow the sunlight in. You can also sit near a window while working or spending time at home.

Light therapy. In cases where it may be hard to get a lot of direct sunlight, artificial light through a light box is another great option. Light boxes mimic sunlight and require you to sit in front of the box for an identified amount of time per day (e.g., 30 minutes per day). Research shows that over time, light boxes can help to boost your mood and improve the symptoms of SAD. Psychotherapy. Treatments such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and strategies such as behavioral activation, are effective at teaching you how to cope with difficult feelings and allow you to learn direct strategies to improve your mood.

Antidepressants. Medication can be prescribed through a psychiatrist or your primary care doctor to help improve your mood.

Remember that change and improvements in the symptoms of SAD will not be instant, it is a gradual process. Over time taking action to improve your mood, you can expect to feel a little better and better.

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BY: TALONA

MINUTE

Y. SMITH

QUICK MENTAL oes anyone remember what we used to say when people said mean things to try and hurt our feelings? “I’m rubber; you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.”

Or, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” When we recited those statements, nothing could hurt us. We were immune to rude words. We kept playing as if nothing in the world mattered. The aggressor would sometimes cower after being shut down by our powerful stance against them. At least most of the time.

As children, we had no idea of the inaccuracy of those statements. At the time, those chants empowered us to stand up to playground bullies.

In truth, certain words hurt more and longer than physical pain. Harsh words did stick to us. Some comments were so mean that they embedded into the depths of our souls. And with the slightest negative gesture would resurface as if we heard it for the first time, reopening the wounds we eagerly tried to heal from forever.

We have to protect our minds from all forms of negativity: bullying, emotional abuse, mental abuse, work overload, stress, gossip, etc.

Strive not to argue. If you have a disagreement with someone, let them have their say – as long as they are respectful. Try to understand their point of view. Take in what’s being said before responding if a response is necessary. If there is no substance in what is being said, carefully walk away from the conversation. However, if the opposing view has validity, work to find common ground to alleviate the situation. But remember to choose your battles wisely.

Most people who are negative and judgmental are just distractions. Some are emotionally hurting and looking to make someone feel lesser than they do to feel better about themselves.

You don’t need to address every heckler. Sometimes you have to let people sway by themselves until they realize they aren’t saying anything. Soon, they will realize that they are just empty vessels clinging in the wind making noise.

The Bible tells us how powerful our words can be. Words are to uplift, encourage, motivate, empower, guide, instruct, and inform. But not everyone lives by that principle. That is why it is so important to protect our mental state as a daily task. It is a necessity we must provide ourselves often to prevent us from dwelling on harsh words people often use against us – because words can hurt.

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 30 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

DREAMS, GOALS &

MENTAL HEALTH!

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By: Kendra Hathaway

id you know that your Mental Health is at stake when you neglect to follow your dreams?? Yes, when we chose not to do things that make us happy, that are more enjoyable for us, or use our talents and abilities in the way God created, it can cause unnecessary stress!

We all question our abilities sometimes. We wonder if our ideas, or creativity truly matters. Did you know that because we’re human we’ll always have some feelings of inferiority from time to time? It’s true, because we aren’t perfect people, we’ll question ourselves and our abilities and it’s perfectly normal. What we have to remember is, when these feelings occur, we have to work through them. We must work on gaining clarity regarding our feelings.

Instead of denying or ignoring them (our feelings), we have to learn to reason with ourselves and gain understanding as to why we feel the way we do. For example, if your ideas and opinions were not explored or appreciated when you were a child, it may cause you to feel as though your thoughts and feelings do not matter. What about individuals who weren’t allowed to speak as children? Have you ever thought about how that might affect them as adults? Do you think they’d freely discuss their wants, needs or concerns?

Remembering that past trauma, neglect, abandonment issues and simply having uneducated parents can sometimes affect us negatively even in adulthood. Even without the aforementioned elements, being human means, we won’t always think perfectly, or see ourselves the way God sees us. This means we must constantly remind ourselves that there is something good and important about what we like, what we feel, and who we are.

Even when others don’t recognize it, we must know that our creativity matters. Our plans matter and our goals matter! We are all brave, capable, and significant even when it doesn’t feel like it!! So, we have to find ways to support our dreams…and keep believing in ourselves!

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 32 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

By, Kendra Hathaway, MA, FLE, LMFT Kendra Hathaway is a Family Life Educator, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Self-help Author from Michigan. She is the Founder of Positive Transformations- A Private Therapy Practice in Michigan. Kendra also contracts with agencies and different facilities to meet her clients needs. She specializes in personal growth among other things and works notably with African American woman and young adults who are looking to improve their lives. Kendra can be reached directly at: (586) 551-2757 : Positivetransformationpllc@gmail.com :

Mental Health Warrior Zone XIII Vanity Dawson

Tai Campbell

Lorelai Symmes

Cymone Jones

NIKITA POWELL-COTTMAN

Kenai Hollingsworth

Kayla Sampson

Robnesha R. Smith

Jada Carrington

Lawrence Durden

Neta Vaught

Kevin Berthia

D_Boykin

Tyeisha Brewer-Fields

Jessica Baggett

Kavon Burton

Tamika Woodard

Tyshia Douglas

Craig Cooper

Jessica “Kelly Jé” Kelly

Dasia Wood

Tanzania Fair

Elyse Lancaster

Evangelist Tamika

Jermichael Tanner

Mental Illness, Diagnoses or Labels Does Not Define Us! We Are Real People with Real Stories Fighting Back Against the BattleFields of Our Minds! We Are Warriors!

Read some of these warrior stories at: www.rallyupmagazine.com

WARRIOR ZONE

DONVINNIE

BOYKIN

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onvinnie Boykin (born July 17, 1986), also known as Don, is an Author, Mental Health Advocate, Model, Entrepreneur, Celebrity Stylist, Film/Tv Producer, Creative Director, Motivational Speaker & Actor. Donvinnie Boykin born in West Tennessee ,TN he began his career as a model at the age of 19, while in college at the University of Tennessee At Chattanooga.

While modeling Boykin fell in love with the behind the scenes aspects of the industry, and then transferred to Bauder College School of Fashion In Atlanta, Ga. It was then Boykin began to develop the passion for wardrobe styling & event planning which led him to work with Bronner Brothers Fashion and hair show as Creative Director and Stage Manager. Which led to his first Celebrity Client Bre From America's Next Top Model Cycle 5.

Boykin then began his start to entrepreneurship starting his first company Glam Life Entertainment in 2009, a fashion production company specializing in fashion show production. As Ceo & Creative Director of the company Boykin saw the need to produce high fashion, high energy shows as well as mentor and teach and train others in the fashion and entertainment industry.

Boykin then moved his knowledge of production to television in 2010-2011 and worked with the Bet Hip Hop Awards along with the Bet Soul Train Awards. Through this exposure Boykin then landed on the sitcom Meet The Browns, Season 3 for an episode shortly after he made another film credit with Rockmund Dubar in film Pastor Brown, even though the roles were small, it fueled Boykin to rebrand his company and in 2013 renamed his company to Encore Entertainment groups. Through Encore Entertainment Groups Boykin relaunched his vision not only as a Production company, but as an Entertainment Agency. Focusing on Marketing,Branding,Client Placement, as well as Production of short films.

In 2016, Boykin Launched a skin care line called VIIXVII by Donvinnie, a natural organic skin care line for people of color. After that venture Boykin paused and took a break from the industry after his father suffered an injury due to a horse back riding incident.

In 2018 Boykin lost his father, and felt lost and hopeless, he later returned in 2020 and published his first book R.E.V.E.A.L. " The Year WIthOut My Dad'', based on his life and the year without his dad, Boykin opens up about his battle with depression,mental health, and alcohol abuse.

Through this Journey Boykin wants to use his voice to bring awareness to mental health with the African American Community.

RUM: What does mental health and wellness mean to you?

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 34 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

Photo credits: DeAndre Lemans Sling Shot Photography

DONVINNIE: Wow!! I’d like to describe mental health as a moment in life

when you’re emotionally exposed, or you’re taking risks, or facing uncertainty. When you experience a great loss or hurt that feels like ‘broken heartedness’. I’ve realized that your heart is not broken. It’s actually the heart’s protective shell of defenses breaking open to allow you to feel all emotions fully.

It’s a feeling; a big feeling that feels horrible. In our culture, as African American men, we are taught at an early age. Why are you crying? Suck it up. These actions create an invisible switch that flips within our brain. We learn to rub the tears from our eyes and keep life moving. We are taught to suppress our feelings because we are too young to express our feelings or if you’re a boy you’re being taught that’s too soft or you’ll grow up weak. We’ve been taught to grow up to be a man, but we’ve never been able to show true emotions. We are taught love through the expression of touch and gifts. However, we are not taught vulnerability. To go deep within ourselves and honestly say how we feel.

As African American males we are often told to hide our emotions and refrain from expressing them even when that something or someone hurts them. We have been taught that Black Males don’t cry. We have to play the part of a tough non emotional black male. The words “I’m good” and “I’ll be alright” are familiar to me. As men we have had male figures tell us that when we express ourselves we are considered vulnerable, or weak. We may come off as being soft, or gay. So we hide our true emotions and switch them to anger and rage which could lead to mental illnesses or internal pain that we suppress with drugs, and alcohol, that leads to anger.

And we wonder why mental illness is on the rise in our community.

Mental health is a topic that many African American men consider taboo and do not want to discuss. The fact is that depression is one of the most common mental illnesses but an under-recognized and under treated problem among African American men. We feel as if we can’t open up and be vulnerable. Our common beliefs about mental health within the African American community is that being depressed is normal, and talking about it is weak. Getting help is the same as telling your business to a stranger.

Nobody cares about your mental health anyway.

These statements are not true. Mental illness is real and affects us all, whether or not we choose to talk about it. I realized this through my struggle and loss. I found it difficult to talk about it out loud and bottled my feelings up inside. But through my life I’ve realized the power of

RUM: How do you advocate for mental health and wellness in your work as an Author, Entrepreneur, Celebrity Stylist, and Actor?

DONVINNIE: I advocate using my voice, but as

an Author I was able to reveal my story through my words. In the words of Dr Maya Angelou “Words are things. You must be careful, careful about calling people out of their names, using racial pejoratives and sexual pejoratives and all that ignorance. Don’t do that. Someday we’ll be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, and your clothes, and finally in to you.” As I was writing my book I thought about that quote. I wanted to make sure that people felt the power behind my message, not only to feel my pain, but to see themselves inside of me. I wanted them to not only read the words but be able to understand that there is someone else out there like them.

As an Entrepreneur I developed my candle line to help people be able to self love. I strategically came out with scents that soothed the body as well as relaxed the mental. When you think of candles you think of peace where you can relax and just burn your problems away. Not only that but created a 7 chakra sage stick to introduce people to the power of affirmations and meditation. With this people can cleanse their space and release negative toxins from their surroundings.

As a stylist, I love to make people look and feel good. I’m a firm believer that you feel your best when you look your best. It gives you a certain level of confidence.

As Actor, I’m able to embody different Characters, and bring stories to life.

But through it all I am able to embody all these elements through my social media platforms, and create a safe space of freedom through My voice. I post daily on my journey through life, to encourage and motivate people to be their best, and to overcome whatever it is they are battling.

RUM: Your father passed away in 2018. This experience caused you to battle depression and alcohol abuse. Can you share with our readers what it was like to lose a parent and how you have overcome depression and alcohol abuse?

DONVINNIE: It was very difficult, losing my father. Not only difficult but tough to

come to terms with. Being close with my father and having that bond, made it even harder. It took me to a dark place. When you lose someone to death, it almost seems unreal, it’s like they have taken a trip or a vacation, and you just know that you will see them again. However, reality sinks in.

Realizing I was never going to see my father again began affecting me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I remember within hours after hearing the news that my father passed, the messages, emails, and voicemails just started to flood. Saying sorry for your loss and telling me to let them know if I needed anything, every message I received was also a stinging reminder of what had happened. I was in denial and didn’t want to face the fact of what had happened. I hated checking my phone only to see constant reminders of my father’s death. I began to close myself off from everyone that I knew. I didn’t talk about it. I internalized all the pain, I painted a mask, a plastic smile on my face and went on with life, going through the motions internally never truly processing the event.

During processing this event I realized the gravity of the fact that we’re all going to die some day, and short lifespans don’t exactly help matters. So needless to say I was terrified, terrified at the prospect of tipping over the great beyond, into the great unknown, the inevitable. I no longer have my father. Knowing this is really starting to affect my ability to function on many levels. I feel myself more paralyzed than ever with each passing day.

It hurt like a knife, straight to the chest. This was a different type of pain. A pain directly to the heart. I wonder what life would have been like if I would have known.

Known the pain he must have felt. Could have done anything to avoid it, or did he even feel pain. At this point in life I felt so numb to the thought that he was gone.

In my mind I could hear his voice. A voice so clear saying that “you’re on your own now kid.”

Within that voice it led me to God and isolation. I had to ask God for strength not for myself, but for my family. Through my period alone I began to search for answers.

Then God spoke to me and said “you need your alone time.” I stepped away from it all and I began to meditate and pray. Through meditation and prayer the lord led me to Psalms. Through our conversation, I opened up to him and wondered why I had suffered so much and what I had been going through after the death of my father and how I just can’t seem to cry anymore, that I was honestly tired of doing it. He tt

then reminded me of all the things in my past, and then I looked around and truly opened my eyes.

Then instantly I started to sing, then I noticed that I was alive. I started to move then I noticed that I was alive. I noticed my first photo shoot hanging on my wall, then I knew that I had accomplished something. Then in the next instant my mother called and I noticed my roots. I then began to pray harder.

Photo credits: DeAndre Lemans Sling Shot Photography

affirmations and speaking life into oneself. Self care is the best care, not only that, but embrace your vulnerability!

Dear God, you have shown me so much, but the pain I feel is unbearable. At this moment I don’t know if I am worthy of your forgiveness. I have sinned, I have betrayed my trust to you, as well as cursed your name in vain due to my hurt. I don’t know if you can forgive me. I don’t know what to do. I have been through so much heartache and pain, I have been let down, belittled, have been cheated out of so much, and honestly I can’t come out of this. I pray at this moment for your forgiveness of my past, for all that I have done to hurt anyone, and I ask that you alienate me from all hurt, harm and danger. I need you to continue to be in my life and be a light to guide me to move forward. Lord, continue to look over my mother, I know her hurt is far more worse than mine. Continue to be a light in her path because I know that she is alone. Also Lord, wrap your hands around my entire family. Especially my sister, lord lift my brother up as he can be as strong as my father, so that I can lean to him for strength and guidance. Lord please comfort my uncles and aunts as I know this is hard on them. Allow us to grow strong and to continue the Boykin legacy as you see it fit through my father’s eye. Lastly, lord guide my nephew Kristus as our bond grows stronger and lead him into the right path of manhood. Wrap your arms around him to protect him from any hurt, harm or danger.

Bless and protect Kiara so that she can be as strong as her mother. And lastly lord allow me to be a role model for Jordan and Markissia so that they can see the good and pursue the dreams as you see fit. Lord, you are my God and I love you. Amen.

As I said this prayer, I finished in tears and the Lord sent me to Psalm 91.

RUM: What are some ways you de-stress and practice self-care?

DONVINNIE: Self love over all is the main thing to de-stress along with meditation and just silence. Sometimes you have to break away and just shut things off. Turn off the Television, sign off of social media. It's ok to say no. We have to disconnect in order to connect with ourselves.

RUM: How can we continue to empower individuals to prioritize their mental health?

DONVINNIE: We have to continue having conversations, let’s normalize it in our conversations. Also check in with others and check on your friends and family.

RUM: What final words do you have for our readers?

DONVINNIE: I want to leave you with this. Mental Health is real. It doesn’t necessarily have a look or actions. Some people go through life and mask it. I also want to encourage those that are feeling any kind of way to seek help. Talk to someone even if you don’t feel comfortable with talking to family or friends. Find someone that you do feel comfortable with. Love yourself first.

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SELF CARE By: Alicia-Ann Samuel,LMHC, NCC

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epeat after me: self-care is more than getting a Birkin bag or a week stay in an over water villa in Maldives.

Self-care goes beyond that one-time purchase for a deep tissue massage. The thought of self-care often feels like it is beyond one's reach due to the notion implied by countless pictures found on social media, that self-care must be a luxurious item or an experience. Though for some, luxurious items or experience may indeed be self-care (e.g., taking a bath while burning the newest candle for Jackie Ania’s Forvr mood candle collection), it is important to understand that self-care goes beyond a price tag.

So, what exactly is self-care?

Self-care does not belong to one tax bracket, race, or religion. It is an invaluable practice that everyone should try to incorporate daily. Self-care is a physiological and psychological shield that preserves our mind, body, and spirit. It refuels us so that we can do more than just live to survive, we can thrive!

Now that you have an improved understanding of self-care, let’s dive into the 5 core elements of self-care and explore what each element entails: 1. Physical: our interior and exterior go hand in hand. Keeping the physical body healthy can greatly improve your mental well-being. Physical self-care can include embarking on a fitness journey, eating a balanced diet, getting adequate rest, or learning the latest tiktok dances. The goal of physical self-care is to keep your body actively moving, so get up and get moving!

According to research, self-care is defined as one’s continuous commitment to a healthy lifestyle. It is said to be multidimensional in nature, due to the 2. Mental: how you think greatly various layers (i.e., 5 core impacts your feelings and elements) that is necessary in behavior! Mental self-care may taking care of oneself. Self-care include going to therapy, means to engage in health-procompleting a self-reflection moting practices that enhance

journal, reading self-help books, one's functioning and overall

asking for help, or learning ­ ­ ­ quality of life (Ayala et al., 2017). ­ something new. A healthy mind The essence of self-care is allows for a healthy outlook on life especially during our most self-awareness; you must pay attention to YOU if you intend to challenging moments. take care of YOU. Mind boggling, isn’t it? I am not surprised if a mental alarm is going off as one reads the statement “you must 3. Emotional: You behave based on how you feel! Emotional pay attention to you” and a defense mode kicks in because that self-care focuses on fueling our mind and body with things that statement sounds selfish. make us deeply feel. Emotional self-care may be allowing yourself to cry, finding time to laugh, saying I love you or giving How can we put into practice self-care if our parents taught yourself a gift just because. Whatever you feel positively passionus to be selfless? ate about, go for it!

As mentioned earlier, some may feel that self-care is tied to a hefty price tag while others view self-care as being selfish. If you practice self-care, then it must mean you have a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder! Well as a licensed mental health counselor, I am here to reassure that there is nothing selfish about self-care and encourage you to refrain from self-diagnosing. Have you ever been on a flight? As the plane prepares to take off, flight attendants spend a few minutes going over the plane safety instructions. During their safety instructions, they will go over what to do in the event oxygen is needed. The key part of the oxygen speech that they emphasize is that it is vital that you put on your own mask before helping others put on theirs.

We cannot successfully be there for others unless we take care of ourselves which is why self-care is not considered selfish and should be practiced.

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4. Spiritual: spiritual self-care is said to be any ritual or practice that helps us tap into our higher self. For some, spiritual self-care may include praying to one's God or going deep into the forest to be one with nature. Spiritual self-care focuses on being more mindful, present, and grateful for ourselves and those around us.

5. Personal: personal self-care really emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and improving your overall functioning. Within this core element, each of the previous core elements of self-care are combined to help improve who you are overall. Personal self-care strategies may include developing and accomplishing goals, improving yourself professionally and/or academically or just learning more about your temperament and personality type.

There is no one self-care plan for all, do what is best for you!

Remember to take care of yourself and stay therapeutically beautiful!

A PRIORITY

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MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Pamela A. Davis, the Founder of Queen of Resilience (QOR), Inc. believes to be a true Queen, God must be the center of your life. With labor, tears, and personal challenges QOR was birthed out of a need for women, especially women in college to receive quality support with acknowledging, managing, and being self-aware of the mental illness of anxiety, and depression.

Photo credit : Mena Darre Photography, LLC

During her first year at the University of Missouri Columbia, Pamela experienced her first panic attack after the death of her

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Uncle Arnett Kerr. At the time she was not aware of the resources available in coping with mental illness and it changed her life. MIZZOU was not her destination in her college career. Pamela had a wonderful opportunity to attend The Illustrious Harris-Stowe State University. At this institution, she was able to excel in her studies and overcome the struggles of having anxiety. In 2013, she graduated with her B.S. in Healthcare Management.

She received her Master’s in Healthcare Administration from Webster University.

She is currently a Human Resource Specialist at a major healthcare company with experience in Recruitment & Place

ment, Credentialing & Workers' Compensation. In 2019, Pamela was a recipient of the Delux Magazine's "Women Who Inspire '' Award. Queen of Resilience’s purpose is to teach individuals how to be resilient in every area of their life by increasing Mental Health Awareness, Mentorship, and Professional Development.

Pamela loves to encourage, mentor, and empower women to become their best selves by being an overcomer and instilling the true essence of resiliency. As a Speaker, HR Professional, Creative Director, and Singer she is determined to increase Mental Health Awareness One Queen and King at A Time.

What does mental health & wellness mean to you?

We all have had trying times where we had to question, Am I Mentally Well? Can I really grow through this traumatic experience?

Mental Wellness means everything to me!

As much as I care about the air I breathe, I care about my capacity to continue to evolve into a person who values her overall wellbeing. Our health includes how we are coping and what techniques we are using to overcome various tragedies. Our ancestors believed in having a strong foundation in God, but therapy was not a necessity. Time has transformed, I firmly believe that Jesus and Therapy works. I firmly believe that our lives, families, and community will be better if we make a decision to put Mental Health and Wellness first.

Tell us about your work related to mental health & wellness?

Because of my own personal struggles with anxiety, I wanted to encourage other

women that you have a resilient story and that you can overcome anything. Queen of Resilience, Inc (QOR) was birthed because mission is to teach individuals how to be resilient in every area of their life by increasing Mental Health Awareness, Mentorship and Professional Development.

We meet our mission by our various events, programming and fundraisers. The Meet The Queen and King Empowerment Program, which is our signature program that focuses on equipping students from high school through college with the tools to become resilient mentally and professionally in order to establish a balanced life.

This program caters to the overall wellbeing of students including a De-Stress Day that provides our youth with strategies to overcome traumatic experiences. We pivoted during the pandemic and started QOR conversations. Those conversations were based on Grief, Geroge Floyd's murder and the Black Males' Perpsective and The Reintegration, which was a conversation that was focued on the students, administrators and parents concerns surrounding COVID 19.

What are some ways we can encourage more people to seek mental health treatment?

- When seeking Mental Health treatment, we have to encourage others to use the Resilient Approach. The Resilient Approach consists of admitting, accepting the trauma, facing the fears, and acknowledging the pain, seeking and realizing the power of support, and finding a solution and making a decision. All of these can occur, but first there must be a conversation. We cannot force people to go to therapy but we can create a safe space for a meaningful conversation and provide the resources.

One conversation can make someone evaluate themselves and follow the Resilient Approach. One conversation can make someone evaluate themselves and decide to call a therapist. Also, we can encourage individuals to receive mental health treatment by creating a community that motivates us to tell our Resilient stories of success on our journey with Mental Health.

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Can you share with us one of your biggest setbacks? How did you overcome this setback?

One of my biggest setbacks was when I was a Freshman and attended the University of Missouri-Columbia (MIZZOU). While a freshman, my experience of having an anxiety attack after my Uncle Arnett Kerr passed away pushed me into my purpose.

QOR would have never come to fruition if it wasn't for this initial divine disruption. After I had my anxiety attack I was put on academic probation and medication. I was suffering in silence. Due to my grades, I was dismissed from MIZZOU. When I came back home, I had to make a decision. I decided to still pursue my dream of being the first in my family to graduate from college.

Furthermore, I enrolled at Harris-Stowe State University (HSSU) and this institution changed my life. With the support of family and friends, I began to bounce back. It started with prayer and a decision, I began to incorporate breathing techniques, coping mechanisms and still pursued my degree with reaching my goals. HSSU gave me an opportunity to participate in leadership programs. One of them was the Thurgood Marshall Leadership Conference.

This seminar equipped me for today's workforce. After hearing a representative call me, "RESILIENT" I started calling myself

Queen of Resilience. My setback was an opportunity for my ministry to be birthed.

Tell us some ways you de-stress & practice self-care?

There are several ways that I participate in self-care. I am learning how to be present in the moment. My therapist told me,'Be present and honor you Mom" after I was sitting in her chair after my Mother, Mae H. Richard passed. Since my Mother's passing, I have taken self-care to another level. On a regular basis, I continue to pray, journal, read the bible, books related to spirituality and empowerment. Stretching and listening to music has helped me to calm down tremendously. There are so many apps to use, but the calm app and using my Happy Planner keeps me organized. A monthly session with my therapist stays on my calendar. A Check In is always needed.

You mentioned that God must be at the center of our lives, so tell us how can individuals combine their religious beliefs along with prioritizing their mental health?

We have to learn to include God in everything we do and touch. Combining our beliefs with God and Mental Health is simple in so many ways.

Kincie Farnell, MS, CAP, CMHP

A

Therapist in Orlando, FL with special training and skill in assessing patient mental health and treating cognitive, substance abuse psychological, and behavioral disorders using a wide variety of therapy techniques. She encourages individuals to discover their potential to recover from the challenging impact of addiction and unresolved traumas through the power of healing and spirituality. As a Professional Counselor, Ms. Farnell performs diagnosing and treating mental and emotional disorders, providing therapy to clients in individual and group settings, research into advanced therapy techniques and applications, and referral to medical mental health professionals as needed. Professional Counseling is a healthcare specialty centered on providing faith-based, spirituality, mental and emotional guidance, and therapy to treat mental, emotional, and addictive disorders. Significant diseases and conditions treated by Professional Counselors include anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), behavioral disorders, phobias, bereavement, hardship, attempted suicide, drug and alcohol addiction. She is also the CEO of Stage Recovery Clothing and Stage Recovery Wellness, LLC. She is helping end the stigma through fashion while customers spark conversations on Recovery.

Her driving passion is representing “Social Justice, Treatment, Recovery, Diversity, and Equality to all.” Kincie Elaine speaks at a variety of Treatment Centers, Recovery Events, Schools, Churches and Organizations. Ms. Kincie spent her early years studying Opera and Classical Music from the age of 8 years old until 27 years old. She spent many years working behind the spotlight with musician who struggle behind the stage with Addiction. Ms. Kincie is an Author of “Under the Notes”, she writes a story on struggle, heartbreak and redemption.

Despite the countless setback, this fiction story speaks to the readers on the life of rising above your Addiction and Codependency. Whether you are struggling with Gambling, sex, Substance Abuse, Food, Low Self-Esteem, Co-Dependency. : stagerecoveryshop : www.stagerecoveryshop.com

With seeking a therapist, ask Him for the correct one that is best for your personality and what you need. Many of us love to do yoga or participate in stretching, pray and center yourself while you are practicing these daily habits. A combination of God and increasing Mental Health Awareness is a necessity. We include God in everything else, why not our Mental Health!

Contact Info: Queen of Resilience, Inc. : info@qornow.com, : Queen of Resilience : Queen of Resilience : www.qornow.com

BEAUTY SECTION

am one who likes things that smell good. It can be in my home, my car or even a fragrance I am wearing. As I practice doing better with Self-Care and taking time out for ME…I have incorporated regular spa visits. During this visit they use essential oils.

As I learn more about them, I realize that essential oils are beneficial to your mental health and there are several different ways they can be used.

Essential oils have been known to improve headaches, acne, bronchial problems and other physical ailments; however, it also helps with calming and relaxing. Keep in mind, essential oils will not cure mental health issues but have properties that can assist with decreasing symptoms of anxiety and depression. As you will see, some of the oils are good for several things and can become something you may want to incorporate in your daily routine.

Here’s a list of some of the more popular essential oils and its benefits: Lavender – Mostly found in oils, soaps, lotions, fresheners, and other skin products. It is considered a calming oil and has a very distinct scent. It is known for its ability to help calm anxiety and stress working as a mood stabilizer.

Chamomile – Mostly found in medicines and teas. It is known as the relaxing oil because of the ability to soothe and relax. It is reported to lower symptoms of depression and is another popular oil that contributes to improving mental health symptoms.

Ylang Ylang – Mostly found in fragrances (perfumes/colognes), lotions, and soaps. It is highly known for reducing stress and its ability to calm. Common benefits include reducing depression, headaches, and anxiety. It is also known to be a mood stabilizer.

There are several ways to use essential oils that if you are looking to improve your mental health, you might find helpful.

Use in a diffuser. A diffuse you fill with water (the amount will depend on the size of the diffuser) and add 10 – 12 drops of your essential oil. This will fill the area with a pleasant mix of water and oil that will smell good and hopefully help to make you feel better. Diffusers come in various sizes and are good for the office, home, bedroom and other areas of the home. You can purchase them almost anywhere nowadays.

Use in a warm bath. Adding 8 – 10 drops of essential oil to your bath can provide calming and soothing benefits as well. Taking time out for a bath is beneficial all but adding the essential oil of your choice will increase the results and give you time to unwind, breaking away from the daily stressors of life.

Apply directly to the skin. As mentioned, some essential oils are used in skin care products so adding oils to your skin can assist in immediate results. Adding 2-3 drops of the oil to a base oil or carrier oil can give you just the thing you need to manage any anxiety, stress and possibly lower other mental help symptoms to include depression.

There’s no one way to use essential oils and there’s certainly more types of oils than the ones I have listed. Do some research. With a little trial and error, I’m sure you will find which oil and the best form of use that works for you. You can even journal or write how you feel so you can remember and include this into your daily routine. There’s a wealth of information out there that can help you, I only hope this has at least sparked an interest. Remember, whether drinking a hot tea, running a warm bath or using the diffuser, this is a part of self-care so congratulations to you in advance for finding more ways of making YOU a PRIORITY!

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MAKING A DIFFERENCE

K

ellene Diana is a Mother of a beautiful teenage daughter, Best-selling author, Inspirational Speaker, President of Green Heart University LLC and the founder of the Green Heart Community Inc, a safe place for those healing from anxiety and depression. From her work with GHC, she was compelled to launch Green Heart Advocacy Academy, to train, mentor and cultivate advocates for mental health.

For more than a decade, Kellene has worked to destigmatize mental health by developing and cultivating a safe place for men, women and teens to share their stories and receive resources and aid. She is passionate about mental health awareness from her own experiences with battling and healing from anxiety and depression. She is more than an advocate but a survivor. She is devoted to creating a better mental health system for the minority population in inner cities and disadvantaged communities whose resources, and funding are limited.

She has partnered with political figures, mega church leaders and influencers to spread awareness and develop programs to combat the increasing mental health crisis resulting from COVID-19.

RUM: What does mental health and wellness mean to you?

Kellene: Mental Health and Wellness to me means FREEDOM. Freedom to live the life that you deserve and desire. Before I got the help I needed to fight through anxiety, depression, panic disorder and PTSD I was trapped in a dark prison of fear and self-doubt. When I finally gave myself permission to heal, it was truly another chance at life. Once I got better, I promised myself that I would allow myself to be FREE! FREE to live, FREE to laugh, FREE to dance, FREE to start my business, FREE to have a family, FREE to do whatever it was that I wanted to do. That is one promise that I kept and will always keep. When you take care of your mental health, there is nothing in this world that you can’t do.

RUM: Tell us about your work related to mental health and wellness?

Kellene: During the darkest of days as I was healing from anxiety and depression, I felt very alone and scared. I had no idea what was happening to me. I didn’t have resources or anyone who really understood what an onset of a mental illness looked like. I was clueless therefore I felt helpless. I remember I promised myself and God that once I got better I would

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create something that would give others who were healing from anxiety and depression the knowledge, resources and support that I didn’t have. Once, I got better that is exactly what I did.

Since healing from some of the wounds of anxiety and depression I have had the honor advocating and bringing awareness to mental health in the most creative ways.

I have devoted myself to creating a better mental health system for the minority population in inner cities and disadvantaged communities whose resources and funding are limited.

I have partnered with political figures, church leaders and influencers to spread awareness and helped develop programs to combat the increasing mental health crisis resulted from COVID -19.

Created Green Heart University (GHU) an online school for women of color where I launched Mental Health Advocacy Academy to train, mentor and cultivate advocates for mental health.

Lighting Baltimore City Hall Green annually to bring radical awareness to the city of Baltimore to open up the discussion about mental health in our households.

I continue to be the example to make your mental health a priority.

RUM: One of the quotes you live by is “Prayer is the foundation of my healing, but therapy is my healing place.” Can you break that quote down and let our readers know what that means?

“Prayer is the foundation of my healing but therapy is my healing place” -Kellene Diana Kellene: Sure. I remember when I first started experiencing the onset of anxiety, depression and PTSD, I was no longer the care-free, outgoing, spunky Kellene that everyone knew and loved. I became confined to my mom’s bed.

I couldn’t drive, eat, sleep or socialize. I was in a constant state of fear and panic. It overtook me.

My mom, grandma and god mom were in constant prayer for God to heal me from what was taking me away from the world, especially my family and friends.

Sometimes they would come in my mom’s room and form a circle around me and pray. Those prayers gave me strength and determination to do my part to heal. My part was to find a Therapist who could guide me through such a hard fight against the heaviness of mental illness. With determination in my heart, I found an amazing Therapist. After my intake with her, she advised me that I needed aggressive therapy and I need to see her multiple times per week. I agreed and I committed to doing everything she recommended including seeing a psychiatrist to start anxiety and depression medication. After going to therapy, facing fears and things from my past head on gave me the tools I needed to get well and stay well. So, as you can see, I will always acknowledge the foundation of my healing which were my moms, grandmas and my god mom’s prayers but Therapy was my healing place.

What are some ways you de-stress and practice self-care? I de-stress by laying on the sofa watching A Different World, Martin, Golden Girls and The Fresh Prince of Belair reruns.

Lol that may sound crazy to some but if you grew up in the 90s, you will definitely understand.

Watching shows from my childhood brings me so much peace and joy.

They take me back to a time before my anxiety, depression etc. I love revisiting those times often.

RUM: How do you model the importance of

self-care for your daughter?

Kellene: I model the importance of self-care by

showing my daughter by example the importance of making mental health my priority. By doing so, she knows that part of taking care of herself is to take care of her mental health. She understands how important it is to take a break in pursuit of any of her goals and dreams to check in with herself.

Also, in our household talking about mental health is a normalcy. We talk about it almost daily. It is important for her to be comfortable talking or writing about her feelings and emotions, good, bad or indifferent. She does very well with that. I am very proud of the young lady she is becoming. A well, rounded, beautiful teenager who values her physical and mental health. I truly believe that if we start modeling the importance of self-care and mental health is our households that is how we can break down the stigma around mental health in the black community, one household at a time.

RUM: The need for mental health profes-

sionals, advocates, and services is at an all-time high. How can we continue to encourage individuals to prioritize their mental health?

Kellene: Unfortunately, we are living in such a scary time. With COVID-19 and now the possibility of war makes things very unpredictable and nerve-wracking. We are all on edge and could use some guidance through these times. It is very important that you check in with yourself several times per day to make sure that you are OKAY. Asking for or seeking help when things are NOT OKAY is such a super power and can really be the 3 words that will help turn things around.

Remember that when you prioritize your mental health and well-being, everything else will fall in place.

RUM: What final words do you have for our

readers?

Kellene: I would like for your readers to know that seeing a Therapist, does not make you “crazy”, it makes you responsible. We all have a responsibility to take care of our mental health so that we can be the best versions of ourselves. Be the example for your children, family, friends and community.

“Seeing a Therapist doesn’t make you crazy, it makes you responsible” –Kellene Diana

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DEAR AMANDA

Society has made it okay to discard a man's emotions.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A MAN WHO FEELS HIS FEELINGS & EMOTIONS? DON’T MATTER? Anonymous from Forestville, MD Cultural norms and gender stereotypes have been toxic to our men and as a result emotions have not been passed on as an essential skill and important to fully enjoy life, yet today emotional intelligence is seen as an effective tool for change and is taught within corporations as a strength. So when the man in your life doesn't see the value, validate that, the world taught him that, but let him know people now get paid to tell you how valuable your emotions are.

I want to give our brothers credit too. Men know emotions. They laugh and kick it with their boys (joy), start yelling when their favorite team loses a game (frustration), feel down and get quiet when things don't go the way they expect (disappointment/sadness) and buy us chocolates for valentines (love and compassion).

We have passed on this idea that men don’t have space to share how they feel or that they don't show it at all, or that it's a weakness and shouldn't be acknowledged.

Well, how about we celebrate when we see it and make space for it? Let's do things with them like travel or cook together, and talk about our experiences without the cellphone at the table. Pick up cards that encourage conversation if you don't know how to express yourself either (most of us don't). Encourage men to develop hobbies and connect with other men like Black Men Run or 100 Men in Suits to allow themselves a chance to build deeper connections and feel safe with their emotions.

There are some amazing men doing work on this in our community: James Harris @ men_to_heal on IG

Photo by: Stanley Morales from Pexels

Amanda Fludd, Licensed Clinical Therapist in NY, Mental Health Consultant and international women in business Empowerment Coach. She helps professional women master limiting mindsets, achieve work life balance and live their lives in confidence. Her passion is working with people affected by trauma, particularly people of color (POC), and she is excited by the opportunities to reduce the stigma around mental health and improve healing amongst Black and Caribbean communities. Her coaching programs focus on work-life balance during crisis situations, understanding trauma in the workplace, tackling negative thinking and productivity and self-care

through mindfulness.

Find her at: www.amandafludd.com and follow her on Instagram @therapyisdope

Thank you guys for another great question and we hope this interactive answer was helpful to guide you towards meaningful change.

Amanda Fludd Therapist & Mindset Coach for Minority Women In Business.

RallyUp Magazine

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POSITIVE THINKING:

CAN IT CURE YOUR ILLNESS? By: Katy Parker

I

recently received a recommendation for a book on how the power inside us can heal any disease. It went on to explain how our positive thinking could affect the outcome of any illness we may be suffering from. And that's when I started to wonder. I'm a positive person, however, the words on the cover of the book made me wonder if the long-term pain I have been experiencing means I have not been sufficiently positive in my thinking.

Over a year ago, I had a terrible accident when a van hit me as I was crossing a road and I ended up in hospital with three fractured vertebrae. A setback in my recovery ten months after the initial accident resulted in me having to spend another night in the hospital and I am now awaiting another MRI scan on my back that hopefully will bring more clarity on what is causing my ongoing pain.

I have always been quite a positive person, hence my nickname ‘Smiley’. However, not even my smile could protect me from some of the trauma I have been through during my life. Neither did my positive thinking, despite my attempts to always look on life positively.

After my accident, I tried not to pity myself but decided to try and make the most of my life as it was. I admit the journey wasn't easy.

However, my positivity and faith have helped me to get through it and they not only survived but have actually grown.

However, despite this, my positive thinking hasn't cured my illness. I believe that if it could then I would be running a marathon now whereas I'm still in recovery. Whilst positive thinking didn't cure my pain it has helped me overcome some of my difficulties. It has helped me find hope and focus on the things that I am capable of rather than focusing on the struggles and obstacles on my journey.

Despite seeing positivity as crucial to my healing, I am not a big fan of the phrase 'stay positive'. Having been diagnosed with PTSD after my accident, I often asked myself what does this actually mean? Do people really think that I am not trying to remain positive?

Do they think that I would choose negativity over positivity? As I mentioned, my nickname is 'Smiley'. And I believe I'm not the only one looking for sunshine when all that they can see are clouds; many people with mental or chronic illnesses are trying hard to do likewise. So, when I have days where it feels like what I'm going through is too much, when I grieve for my past life, I often blame myself for perhaps not being positive enough, not loving myself enough. Because if I did, I wouldn't have the pain. After all, that's what the book said.

Or has positivity culture got it wrong? Whilst it is supposed to be encouraging and uplifting, a positive culture isn't always helpful for those who live with their illness. Those who despite their pain, sorrow and trials, still show up. Those who despite it all, didn't give up.

Those who you may think are weak because they didn't manage to hold back their tears today because it was all just too much.

Perhaps for them it isn't only about positivity.

Positivity culture makes our society think that we are weak when we show frustration, grief or doubt. And so, we learn to hide our real feelings, to wear a smile like a mask. And this surely cannot be healthy. It cannot cure our illnesses. It only adds to the blame, shame and stigma we experience. So, what could actually help us to become healthier and stronger? Could the understanding of others help? Could it be having others around us who won't judge us when we open up about our feelings? People who won't tell us to 'stay positive' when all we need is honesty between ourselves and them? A world that would appreciate honesty rather than a society that tries to restrict feelings to what is deemed to be acceptable?

Now, don't take me wrong, I am not defending negativity. Being 'Smiley' it is almost expected from me, that I will show my smiley face even when life gets tough. But whilst I'm an advocate of positivity, I'm also learning to be honest with myself. I'm learning that it's ok to not to be ok. That I don't need to pretend to be strong when I'm tired. That expressing a wide range of feelings won't make me a negative person or a burden. It makes me human, a strong person who is not afraid to be herself and one who craves to be healthy again.

Contact: Blog : journeyofsmiley.com : www.instagram.com/journeyofsmiley : www.pinterest.co.uk/journeyofsmiley RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 46 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

: www.facebook.com/journeyofsmiley : www.twitter.com/journeyofsmiley

LOVE AND MENTAL HEALTH

LET’S TALK LOVE &

MENTAL HEALTH BY: TJ WOODARD

RallyUp Magazine presents Let’s Talk Love & Mental Health. We are excited to take the pages of the magazine, bringing it to life with engaging, controversial, and much needed conversation. We call it Candid Conversations about Real Situations. Hosted by myself, TJ Woodard, this bi-weekly broadcast streams live on Instagram @rallyupmagazine and will include Founder Niki Powell-Cottman as the co-host as well as other mental health experts, therapists, and special guests.

Why Talk Love & Mental Health The first live took place on February 6th and the feedback comes as a breath of fresh air but also confirmation that people want to “Talk Love & Mental Health.” The first broadcast was basically the introduction to the series and gave the hosts an opportunity to express why conversations surrounding Love & Mental Health are important. The transparency of the hosts opened the door to followers wanting the conversations to continue.

Sometimes we don’t realize the impact our relationships have on our mental health OR we are too embarrassed to admit that it does. It is platforms like Instagram Live that will hopefully give more people the courage and confidence to talk about what has for so long been an uncomfortable topic especially in the African American community.

When we think about it, every relationship we have has the tendency to impact our mental health. Covering topics that will bring light to the things that are often swept under the rug.

Join in the Conversation You can join in the conversation or even be a guest on Let’s Talk Love and Mental Health. You too can contribute by sharing your story, testimony, or encourage the ones who do by liking, sharing, and tuning in to the bi-weekly IG Live. You can also catch the replay. Your support would be greatly appreciated and will help to keep the conversation going. If you have not yet done so, follow @rallyupmagazine on Instagram to tune in and for additional updates and information.

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HEALTH MHCA MENTAL CHANGE AGENT

SHERVONNE GROSE SherVonne Grose is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Inspirational Coach, Motivational Speaker, TV and Radio Host, and the CEO of SherVonne Grose, MFT, LLC. SherVonne , a mental health advocate, has more than seventeen years of experience helping individuals and families achieve GREATER. It is all about the GREATERgood; therefore, SherVonne helps others by meeting them where they are and working together to navigate their journey to a greater awareness of self and a greater awareness of purpose. SherVonne holds a Master’s Degree from Mercer University and a Bachelor’s Degree from Wesleyan College.

SherVonne is the host of WOW (Wish Only Well) Live Television Show on Elevation TV Network every Wednesday. SherVonne is also the host of WOW (Wish Only Well) Radio Show on Elevation Radio Network airing Thursdays at 1pm EST. WOW is designed to encourage, inspire, and motivate people to be the best version of themselves.

RUM: What does mental health and wellness mean to you?

SHERVONNE: I equate mental health to peace of mind. It is essentially the totality of the elements necessary to ensure peace of mind.Those elements encompass one's emotional, mental, spiritual, and social well-being. Wellness means taking the necessary steps to intentionally take care of all of me. It means doing meaningful and purposeful things to ensure my emotional, mental, spiritual and social needs are consistently and routinely met.

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Tell us about your work related to mental health and wellness.

I started out working with women who struggled with substance abuse at an outpatient I live by, treatment center.

Be still, and know that I am God It was my work Psalm 46:10 with those women that taught me the importance of addressing emotional and mental health needs sooner rather than later. Many of those women developed drug abuse issues because of unmet emotional and/or mental health needs mostly derived from trauma or other underlying conditions.

That experience added fuel to the fire that was already inside of me because of my own personal experience with trauma and depression. I wanted to do more and I wanted to be better at helping others. I pursued more education and obtained a graduate degree in the counseling field, so that I could do more and be better.. From there, I started working with at-risk children and youth and their families. I've worked with really young children with severe emotional and mental health needs. Initially, it was mind boggling to see children in this capacity. Up until that point, I had not known any child with that level of emotional and mental fragility. My heart still aches for children with special emotional and mental needs and their caregivers---it's tough to say the least. I worked in a psychiatric residential treatment facility, which was hard because those children's needs were so severe that they could not be met at home but rather in an institutionalized setting. I also worked in group homes, schools, and other community-based places. I have provided psychoeducational services, crisis management, group therapy, individual therapy, and couples therapy.

I have been blessed to work with a diverse population of people RUM: How do you practice self-care and wellness? regardless of socioeconomic status. I have had the opportunity to SHERVONNE: The truth is that I am better in some areas of self-care work with individuals with developmental and intellectual disabilities. than in others. Self-care is not one-dimensional. It is actually I am now embarking upon a new journey of working with veterans, multi-dimensional, and most people are only good in one aspect of it. active duty military, and their families. I have a deeper and a more Life activities have a way of consuming us. We get too busy for our meaningful appreciation for veterans and active service members as a own good, so we have to be very intentional about self-care. It's a result of this new opportunity. The military is a whole culture whose sad reality for most of us. Self-care should come naturally to us, but mental health needs are often overlooked or misunderstood. All of it usually doesn't. I have to be very intentional about self-care, my work related to mental health has taught me one thing for sure; particularly those areas of self-care I don't do so well. I do more of mental health is just as important as the things that I am good at doing. I get physical health. It cannot be overlooked, plenty of sleep. I rest well. I take frequent and it cannot be ignored. Mental wellness I stand on, “For I know the plans I have breaks. I limit my availability and access to should be everyone's priority. others by ensuring appropriate boundaries. I for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to realize that everyone's crisis is not my crisis. I prosper you and not to harm you, plans RUM: You help others by meeting them don't have to be everywhere and do where they are and helping them to give you hope and a future.” everything. I travel. I spend time with family achieve a higher level of self-awareness.

Jeremiah 29:11 and friends. I treat myself. I'm kind to me, What does meeting clients where they and I'm patient with me. I use aromatherapy. are mean and how important is that in I read uplifting material. I spend time with myself and by myself. I the counseling relationship? spend time with God everyday. Self-care is about me indulging in those things, simple or extravagant, that bring pleasure, relaxation, SHERVONNE:v It is so important to meet clients where they are and rejuvenation. Wellness is the result of me being intentional about because it sets the tone for the therapeutic relationship between my self-care. client and therapist. It is all about the client and his/her healing or recovery and not at all about me as the therapist. As the therapist,it is RUM: Any final words for our readers? my role to find where the client is in the process, join with him/her SHERVONNE: You are so important as a person. I cannot stress that right where he/she is, and together (client and I) navigate to where enough. You are more than just a physical being. You have a mental he/she wants to be (healthier place, happier place in life). Meeting component too, and it is just as important as your physical being. clients where they are helps to solidify the therapeutic relationship Take care of all of you and not just parts of you. I wish only well to and signifies the therapist's stance of being nonjudgmental. you, and I wish only wellness for you!

RUM: Life comes with many challenges and obstacles, can you tell

our readers a big challenge/obstacle you experienced and how © ­ you overcame it? ­ © ­ ¨©

SHERVONNE:The biggest challenge for me was coming to terms with

my own emotional and mental health needs. It was not easy for me to accept having a diagnosis of Major Depression, being prescribed medication, and having to see a psychiatrist. I was a young person at the time, and I did not know anyone else who was struggling with depression. For me, it meant that I was different and being different brought about shame. My friends were normal. They seemed to be enjoying life and living it to the fullest. They were going to class and making friends. I was going to class and disappearing. They were going to parties and enjoying them. I was going to parties too but secretly dreading them. I went to a huge university and came away from that university only knowing my three roommates and a select few of their friends. I actually battled with depression and that was the challenge. Not only was it a challenge, it was also an obstacle that pretty much derailed my life. My road to recovery began the day I realized that depression was bigger than me. I could not handle it on my own. I did not like feeling the way I felt. The first step was admitting that I was not okay and telling others who could support me that I was not okay. The second step was getting the professional help I needed so that I could get better. My support system was so valuable. I don't think that my treatment would have been nearly as effective had it not been for the level of social support I was blessed to have. The third step was seeing myself better. I had to actually envision myself feeling better and doing better before I ever got to that point. Healing and recovery is a process and having that vision of a better me was certainly worth its weight in gold as I maneuvered the process. Above all was my belief and faith in God that got me through. There were some really dark and very challenging times, but God kept me through it all!

© © © ¦­

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SPECIAL FEATURE

SPECIAL FEATURE

AWARD-WINNING FILMMAKER

ANTOINE ALLEN

Healing others through his films BY: LESTER GREENE

S

outh Jamaica, Queens Representative Antoine Allen has beat the odds by making it out of the hood because survival is the name of the game where he comes from. Life isn’t promised tomorrow and “if you pass the age of 25, you are doing something right,” said the Award-winning Filmmaker Antoine Allen during an interview on Out On The Front Lines. Unfortunately, Mr. Allen wasn’t doing the right thing before, and it almost cost him his life.

In 2020, Antoine found himself in a diabetic coma. He wasn’t eating right; he wasn’t exercising and he took life for granted. He hit rock bottom, and he wasn’t able to film his female boxing movie Lola, starring Taja V. Simpson. To get through it, Antoine told himself, “I’m not going to die for no piece of chicken.” It was at that very moment he decided to fight back with a purpose. He started eating better and exercising, losing 100 pounds in the process, which ultimately led to the completion of Lola.

Lola is a feature film that deals with a black, female boxer who has to overcome sexual trauma by falling in love with her passion for boxing.

Oftentimes, we have to fight our way through something, and what better way to fight than with love. “Pour your pain into your passion, so you can find a purpose,” Antoine Allen said. Antoine has seemingly found his purpose by healing others through his films, which involved him saving four people from committing suicide after they watched Lola. He knows that it’s not easy, and that we all deal with some form of trauma. The key to survival, according to Antoine, is shifting your mindset: “We upgrade our clothes, our phone, but we don’t reprogram our mind.” In other words, we need to approach our trauma with a different perspective.

Mr. Allen is leading the pack moving forward with a very optimistic outlook. He encourages people to seek therapy, and he wants to strengthen people in the process. “With any trauma, there's great opportunity. You just have to find the blessing in it,” said Antoine Allen. You can rest assured that the world is in a better place with Mr. Allen making movies.

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 52 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

PODCAST We are happy to share some of the podcasts we find authentic, breaking down those barriers, and breaking through those stigmas through overdue conversations. Mental health and inspirational podcasts has rescued many, tackling those difficult topics like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, suicidal ideations, and much more! As a result, they make listeners who are struggling and/or in pain feel as if they are not alone. We feel it is a great way to gain greater awareness of mental health conditions, and can also help give sufferers validation and a sense of being.

The power of storytelling in podcasts can be a good tool to assist in coping with a mental health problems and to help one evolved. It’s relatable and the listener can easily identify with someone else who is going through something similar. We believe mental health and inspirational podcasts can be used in conjunction with other therapies in treatment, and it can really help individuals on their healing journey.

What are you listening too? Tell us what podcasts you’re finding useful.

Send them to rallyupmagazine@gmail.com.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

1 10 OF OUR TOP

By: Tanzania Fair

ver 10K views and close to 1k likes, this concoction is popular! It not only aids in the removal of toxins from the body but also aids with weight reduction and it tastes wonderful!

When cucumber and mint are combined in water, they make an excellent digestive aid. Cucumber contains antioxidants that help fight free radicals and aids in the clearance of toxins from the body. In addition, cucumber have high water and fiber content and almost no calories. The lemons are high in Vitamin C as well as antioxidants, which help the body fight free radical generation. Additive, the apple cider vinegar that replenishes the gastrointestinal tract with beneficial microorganisms and aids with weight reduction.

As we move into the Spring, sipping “detox” water throughout the day is a great way to stay hydrated. Mix it together, allow it to infuse for a while and then sip it throughout the day. Ultimately, it’s up to you whether you want to drink it throughout the day, the afternoon, hot in the mug throughout the morning, or sip it as a nightcap.

1 lemon 1 small cucumber or 1/2 large cucumber 3-5 mint leaves 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar (ACV) 1 bottle of water or filtered water

ZUCCHINI PASTA:

What’s for lunch? A colorful, fully raw and delicious bowl filled with healthy fats, minimal prep and made in just 10 minutes! Raw zoodles with creamy AF avocado-parsley sauce.

• To make zucchini noodles: spiralize 2 medium, raw zucchini using a veggetti (if you don’t have a spiralizer, you can totally use a mandoline or vegetable peeler).

• For the avocado sauce blend: -

use 2 ripe avocado the juice of 1 lemon 1 clove garlic 1/3 cup packed with fresh parsley 2 tbsp EVOO, 1-2 tbsp of water add Himalayan pink salt and crushed black pepper to taste.

Blend until creamy - feel free to add more water if the sauce appears to be too thick. Pour sauce on zucchini noodles, toss, cut and add in tomato wedges.

Serve and ENJOY! RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 54 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

By: Dani Pope

Back bnyd Dema

#Reminder: Eat food that makes you feel good!

O

DIY DETOX DRINK

POSTPARTUM SELF CARE TIPS:

WHY MOMS SHOULD PRIORITIZE

Self-Care

By: Dr. Maria Banks, OTD, OTR/L

H

aving a baby is arguably one of the most life changing events. Once your baby arrives, your roles and routines are completely altered. Life as you know it has changed! During this time, you can be overwhelmed with a ton of emotions ranging from happiness and excitement to fear and anxiety.

During pregnancy, women experience many physical and emotional changes that can carry over once their baby arrives. In addition to these internal changes, you now have a baby who is heavily reliant on you for everything. It is easy to become overwhelmed and feel mentally, physically and emotionally drained.

Some people say, “Well, that just comes with motherhood.” True, but does that mean you should do nothing? Absolutely not! This is why the concept of self care is so important. Many people think of self care as a nice bath or spa day, but self-care is literally caring for yourself in order to be healthy and well.

Self-care promotes overall health, wellness, and encourages self improvement. Practicing self-care can help you cope with daily stressors and allows you to have the energy necessary to take care of your responsibilities (which you have a ton of during motherhood).

Self-care can look different for everyone. For some, it can be a nice spa day or a good bubble bath, but it doesn’t have to be just that. Self-care can be extremely simple. For me, it included taking a walk around my neighborhood, meditating in the morning and going for a coffee run on my own. If you are having a hard time thinking of a self-care activity, here are some examples.

A relaxing bath can help you stay relaxed and also help ease some of those common aches you experienced during pregnancy and after giving birth.

Meditation is a great tool to help manage stress, let go of negative thoughts and help with self awareness.

Try a new activity. Motherhood can get a bit redundant. Trying a new activity can be exciting and help you learn a new skill!

Journaling is a great tool to help improve your self confidence and reduce stress and anxiety.

Exercise is a great activity to improve your overall health. It not only has physical benefits, but it has been shown to increase energy levels and help reduce feelings of depression and anxiety.

Get in a cozy space and get lost in a book.

Now that you have some ideas of a self-care practice, you’re probably thinking how can I make time for self-care when I have

a baby that consumes all of my time?

Try these tips to help you incorporate self care.

Schedule small time increments. Dedicate a small amount of time to self-care, even if it’s only 10-15 minutes. It’s better than nothing!

Include it in your daily routine. Self-care is literally caring for yourself. Make it a priority like taking a shower and brushing your teeth.

Make your “me-time” a priority. Stop pushing your self-care to the back burner; make it a necessity.

Use your scheduled time wisely. Make sure it is something that brings you comfort, joy and contributes to your overall wellness.

I know it sounds cliche, but you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Constantly giving to others is not sustainable, eventually you will notice the negative effects. Nourish your mind, body and soul so that you can show up for you and your family.

Now I’m not saying this is easy. It took me several months to realize the importance of caring for myself after giving birth. At times, I still struggle with incorporating self-care. I have to constantly remind myself of the many benefits of prioritizing self-care. There will always be something to do in the house, such as laundry and dishes but sometimes that has to wait, because my “me time” is necessary!

With all the benefits of self-care that I have shared, why is it difficult for mothers to make time for it? I often ask my clients why they have a difficult time allocating time to self-care. Their responses are a bit different, but they all boil down to “mom guilt”. Where did making moms think taking time for self-care is selfish come from?

I’m not sure how this started, but we must change this narrative.

It's so easy to show up for everyone else in your life but are you showing up for yourself? If you feel that you aren’t making time for yourself, it is time that you make some changes. Utilize these tips to help you incorporate self-care into your routine. It’s time to take your self-care seriously mama!

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 55 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

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THE GREEN PAGES

Resources Saundre Allen, LCSW

Shamanda Burston Therapist/Cinematherapy Shamanda.Burston@gmail.com www.ShamandaBurston.com

ATLANTA

CALIFORNIA

DR. NEKESHIA HAMMOND

Online community providing information for those looking for a place to find healing. www.myeverydaybeing.com mjones@myeverydaybeing.com 202-957-7499 Founder, Marisa Jone

Psychologist and ADHD Specialist Hammond Psychology & Associates, Supports parents of children dealing with ADHD. DrNekeshiaHammond.com Dr.NHammond@gmail.com

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. www.empirecounseling.net

CALIFORNIA

Therapeutically Beautiful LLC

FLORIDA

FLORIDA

Individual Counseling, Infant and young children mental health + family counseling, Child-Parent Psychotherapy, Parenting training, Circle of Security. www.therapeuticallybeautiful.com : @therapeuticallybeautiful

TAKE MY HAND

WE FIGHT FOUNDATION

DESIGNED FOR ROYALTY

A nonprofit providing mentorship for at risk male and females youth and young adults to nurture their mental health in hope to reduce the risky behaviors, self-harm, selfmedicating or sadly suicide. www.wefightfoundation.org

(Queen/King/Princess Series) A mentorship program for women and men between the ages of 7-25.

For more information: info@tamikawoodard.com www.tamikawoodard.com

MARYLAND

PATRICE N DOUGLAS, LMFT, CAMS-I

Alicia-Ann Samuel, LMHC,NCC

Everyday Being

COLORADO

MARYLAND

Queens N' Therapy, LLC Queens N' Therapy offers a place for black women to heal from anxiety, depression and trauma. We understand that race and gender create different stressors and needs for Black women. We specialize in making therapy sessions conversational and down to earth. Our goal is to help black women curate and sustain a life they love. www.queensntherapy.com IG @queensntherapy

Help clients heal from trauma and empower them to tap into their infinite God-given potential. www.vanitydawson.com Info@vanitydawson.com Founder: Vanity Dawson

MARYLAND

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 57 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

GREEN PAGES Dr. Jeffrey Harris, Ph.D

UPLIFT KINGS Support for Men Mental Health

Mark A. Harrison Mental Health Advocate for Men Certified Mental Health First Aid Trainer Founder of Saving Our Kings www.savingourkings.com Savingourkings52@gmail.com

Mental Health Counselor Founder of Balanced Healing www.balancedheal.com 321-324-6141 drharris@balancedheal.com Specializes in Children's Therapy, adolescent, individual, couples, and family counseling.

upliftingkings20@gmail.com @letsupliftkings

MARYLAND

MARYLAND

KENDRA HATHAWAY, MA, FLE, LMFT

CALEB'S KIDS An impactful suicide prevention and mental health awareness non-profit.

Founder & Exec. Director: Keisha Jackson. www.calebskids.org info@calebskids.org

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Notably with African American women and young adults who are looking to improve their lives.

Positivetransformationpllc@gmail.com.

MICHIGAN

MICHIGAN

(586) 551-2757

NEW JERSEY

Treating issues such as anger management, oppositional defiant disorder, anxiety, depression, sexual deviance through individual and family counseling. www.cactuscenternj.com cactuscenternj@gmail.com

TOTALITY OF A WOMAN

AMANDA FLUDD, LCSW-R Afro Caribbean Clinical Social Worker Trauma Treatment, DBT, Mindfulness Practice Kensho Psychotherapy Services, LLC. 41a W Merrick Rd #2, Valley Stream, NY 11580

NEW YORK

NEW YORK

Organization that takes a 360-degree approach focusing on the wellness of women, me and children. www.TotalityofaWoman.com Info@TotalityofaWomen.com TotalityofaWomen@gmail.com Founder, Stephanie Carnegie

Let’s Talk About It Tamara Dopwell Trauma Informed Counseling for adults. www.letstalkaboutitinc.com

NEW YORK

RWENSHAUN MILLER, MA, LPCA, NCC

Peace and Prosperity Professional Coaching Jason Phillips, MSW Licensed Therapist and Life Coach. www.pnpcoach.com info@pncoach.com

NORTH CAROLINA

NORTH CAROLINA

C.A.C.T.U.S. CENTER

BLACK MENTAL WELLNESS CORP. Evidence-based information and resources about mental health and behavioral health topics from a Black perspective. www.blackmentalwellness.com info@BlackMentalWellness.com

WASHINGTON, D.C.

RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 58 | WINTER/SPRING 2022

Licensed Therapist Dedicated to making mental health treatment more accessible; especially for males of color. www.rwenshaun.com info@rwenshaun.com

Katrina Leggins, LCSW

OKLAHOMA

K. Nicole Writing, LLC Specialize: I use the CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) approach a lot and I work with many individuals who battle with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and life challenges. www.knicolewriting.com/

We Fight Together!

RallyUp Mental Health Magazine is a product of We Fight Foundation Inc. is a nonprofit providing mentorship for at risk youths and young adults (12-24 yrs) to nurture their mental health in hope to reduce the risky behaviors, self-harm, self-medicating or sadly suicide. Proceeds will assist families of underserved communities with therapy sessions, mental health workshops, resources and soon housing.

JOIN OUR FIGHT TO #RALLYUP2SAVELIVES

Our hope is someone reads our magazine and decide to Not Give Up! If you choose to donate, become a sponsor and/or an ambassador for our magazine, inquire at: For business inquiries, media or to contribute email us at:

info@rallyupmagazine.com

Follow us on

: @rallyupmagazine | : rallyupmagazine : www.rallyupmagazine.com : www.wefightfoundation.org : rallyupmagazine@gmail.com

We Fight Foundation

: 301-852-6454 : @wefightfoundation | : wefightfoundation For an interview email us at: rallyupmagazine@gmail.com Disclaimer: Some articles may be triggering and/or contain content that may challenge your mental health. If you or someone you know has a mental health emergency please call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

YOU

ARE

ENOUGH.

§ ª

#faithandmentalhealth www.wefightfoundation.org