#RallyUp2SaveLives
MEN'S
EDITION
Mental Health
Magazine
SPECIAL FEATURE: MAYOR JOHNATHAN MEDLOCK
WARRIOR ZONE:
KEVIN BERTHIA FITNESS IMPROVE
MENTAL HEALTH
DR. TENSION FEATURE:
MARK
A. HARRISON FALL/WINTER 2022 $11.99
Dr. JEFFREY HARRIS THE FATHER OF BALANCED HEALING MIND AND BODY THERAPY
FALL/WINTER 2022
OUR FIGHT "the strength comes from being tested by life's unpredictability" ~Matt Lauer
“She is clothed in strength & dignity and she laughs without fear of the future" ~Proverbs 31:25
*The fight of our founder to save her daughter and anyone else; especially teens who are suffering in silence. As well her daughter’s journey to survive Bipolar Disorder and the fight for all others who are living with a mental illness.
RALLYUP & SEE WHAT'S INSIDE FOUNDER'S LETTER
NIKI POWELLCOTTMAN
08
COVER STORY
07
Meet the Contributors
DR. SOLOMON TENTION | KIONNE WHITE | CHARLES SMITH | DARIUS FENNELL
10
MEN FASHION
12
YOUTH ZONE
19
DR. JEFFREY HARRIS
FASHION SECTION
DEWAND HEMSLEY
10
YOUTH ZONE DEWAND HEMSLEY
Photo Credit by: @luvovah8t
12
19
COVER STORY DR. JEFFREY HARRIS
23
POETRY CORNER
25
FAITH & MENTAL HEALTH
27
THERAPY IS DOPE
CHARLES SMITH | DARIUS FENNELL
ANDRAE HAYDEN
AMANDA FLUDD, LCSW-R
WARRIOR ZONE
SPECIAL FEATURE
33
KEVIN BERTHIA MAKING A DIFFERENCE
MAYOR JOHNATHAN M. MEDLOCK
45
MARK A. HARRISON
42
HEALTH & MENTAL WELLNESS
28
DEAR AMANDA
32
HOW POSITIVE LIVING STRATEGIES CAN HELP YOU!
33
WARRIOR ZONE
35
MENtal Health
39
BEAUTY SECTION
42
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
KENDRA HATHAWAY
KEVIN BERTHIA
BY: KIONNE WHITE
BY: TJ WOODARD
BY: MARK A. HARRISON
DR. SOLOMON TENTION
SPECIAL FEATURE
47
BY: TYI FLOOD
45
HEALTH & MENTAL WELLNESS
47
RESOURCES
49
BY: DR. SOLOMON TENTION
MENTAL HEALTH MAGAZINE
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Vol. 4 Num. 4
Fall/Winter 2022
Founder & Editorial Director Nikita Powell-Cottman Managing Editor: TJ Woodard Asst. Managing Editor: KeErica Parker-Brown Associate Editor: Paul Cottman Fashion Director: Kena'I Hollingworth Beauty Editor: TJ Woodard Beauty Assistant: Nekesa Smith Comic Illustrator: RJ Sterling Therapy is Dope Editor: Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R Contributer Writers:
Lex Morgan Vanity Dawson Andrae Hayden Denise A. Kelley Marisa Jones Kendra Hathaway Melena Saddler
TJ Woodard Talona Smith Tynesha "Tyi" Flood Kena'i Hollingsworth Torre "Tor" White KeErica Parker-Brown SherVonne Grose
Youth Contributing Writers: Nina Hollingsworth Calaeh Henneghan Intern Ebony Columbus Copyright © 2021 RallyUp Magazine No portions of the publication can be transmitted, reproduced, or distributed in any form without contacting Editorial Director Nikita Powell-Cottman. All articles have been reviewed and approved by Nikita Powell-Cottman and her editorial team.
FOUNDER'S
Thoughts
In this Men’s Edition, we are talking about something we do not talk about enough: men and mental health. Our fathers, grandfathers, godfathers, husbands, brothers, sons, uncles, even our friends. Our men's mental health matters. They are one of the main reasons we need to have a conversation about men and mental health because I worry people are not talking about it enough. This is our second men’s edition and we are just getting started. I know one too many men who have been diagnosed with mental health issues or have shown signs but do nothing about it for various reasons. Whether it is because they do not want to appear weak or afraid they are going to be judged, suffering in silence is not a safe option for the men in our lives or any man. We are highlighting these great men and young men, who have decided to take charge of their mental health in hope to encourage other men to do the same thing. This issue is filled with hope. In turn, we pray it normalizes the conversation and removes stigmas so men would feel more comfortable talking openly about their mental health. To encourage them to get help, go see a therapist. Men face so many risk factors such as money, work, family, relationship problems, unemployment and substance use on a daily basis which all can contribute to suicide. We do not want to lose any more of our kings if we can help them, but it is a team effort. We can start with our circle of men, show up for them! Be more empathetic and willing to create safe spaces so they can express their mental struggles. Speak life into them every opportunity you get. Words of encouragement can give them hope and joy. Love on them. No matter how strong men try to be, they need emotional support too.
Blessings & Love, Niki Powell-Cottman Editorial Director
SHERVONNE GROSE
New RallyUp Contributing Writer
SherVonne is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Clinical Assessor, Workshop Facilitator, Inspirational Coach, and the founder and CEO of SherVonne Grose, MFT, LLC. SherVonne has more than seventeen years of experience helping individuals and families set goals, achieve results, feel empowered, aspire to greater things, transform thinking, elevate to the next level, and ultimately become rejuvenated. It is all about the GREATER good; therefore, SherVonne helps others by meeting them where they are and working together to navigate their journey to a greater awareness of self and a greater awareness of purpose.
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MEE T T HE C ONT RIBUT ORS. KIONNE
DR. SOLOMON
TENTION Dr. Solomon Tention is a higher education administrator, professor, and entrepreneur serving as the CEO of SIM Companies. He is also the author of the “The King in Me'' Series: Empowering men of color to discover who they are, and what they love and desire out of life. “The King in Me'' is a three-part series of beautifully illustrated journals and practical guides designed to help men of color discover their life’s purpose through self-exploration, healing, and personal development. He is also the host of the Solomon Tention Podcast, where he and his guests explore questions of the Human Experience, Leadership, Entrepreneurship, and Culture each week. As a student success scholar, and student affairs administrator, Solomon has authored several articles, book chapters, and publications. Solomon has earned a Bachelor's Degree in Sociology, a Master’s Degree in Education in Teaching & Learning with a specialization in General Education Instruction, Leadership, and a Doctorate Degree of Education with a specialization in Higher Education Leadership. He enjoys traveling, eating great food, working out, and spending time with family. His life’s work is centered on helping others thrive individually and holistically Dr. Tension blessed us with an article titled, "Fitness Improves Mental Health", on page 47.
WHITE Kionne White, was born in Washington, D.C. He finds his freedom of expression in being creative. Kionne's favorite pastime is writing and performing music. He blessed us with some of his writing titled “MENtal Health” on page 35.
CHARLES
SMITH
Charles Smith is a health professional with over 20 years of experience in the healthcare field. A graduate of Morehouse College with a degree in psychology, Charles also earned a master's degree in public health. He is a father, husband, son, and friend to everyone he meets. Charles has written a pœm/rap he believes will uplift his community. It is entitled, “Normalize This,” on page 12.
DARIUS FENNELL Darius Fennell is a mental health recovery and therapy advocate. He is also a passionate author and Cognitive Behavioral Coach with a strong desire to break down mental health stigmas, especially among African American men. Darius enjoys writing pœms. He blessed us with one of his pieces titled, "So Far Gone..." found on page 13.
RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 08 | FALL/WINTER 2022
Be GR8 Today All Day Everyday!
Make Your Purchase at www.gr8clothingline.com Use Code RALLYUP & 15% will be donated to We Fight Foundation Inc. to help them FIGHT for Mental Wellness & Suicide Prevention. : www.gr8clothingline.com : @gr8clothingline : GR8 Clothing Line : 2022772934
As men, society has placed A negative stigma on us. Sometimes we wake up every day and battle personal demons and depression. We continue to encourage ourselves every day. Your love journey never stops! Feed yourself some positive words every day….
WHERE
THE BODY
POSITIVITY BEGINS
10 SELF LOVE DAILY AFFIRMATIONS 1. I am Forever Strong 2. I am Loved 3. I am Resilient 4. I am Enough 5. I am Leader 6. GOD Loves me
RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 10 | FALL/WINTER 2022
7. I am Intelligent 8. I am Powerful Beyond measure 9. I am Free of Self Hate 10. I am Handsome 11. I am Confident 12. Showing emotions Does NOT make me weak!
RALLYUP
WINTER Top Picks FOR
MEN
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. ~ Helen Keller
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 11 | FALL/WINTER 2022
OUR VOICES MATTER
Photo Credit by: @luvovah8t
DEWAND HEMSLEY Platform for 18 and under
Do you need help working something out? Do you want to talk to someone who understands, like another teen? We're here to help! Call (310) 855-741741 or (800) TLC-TEEN (nationwide toll-free) from 6pm to 10pm PST.
Youth Zone Cover Feature
WHAT MENTAL HEALTH MEANS
TO ME By: DeWand Hemsley
D
eWand Hemsley, a student at Anacostia Senior High School in Washington DC., and proudly maintains a 3.75 grade point average. His favorite subject is Math. DeWand’s goals are to finish high school in top of his class, earn a full academic and athletic scholarship, play professional football, and to be overall successful in achieving his goals. DeWand is a part of the engineer program, and a two year letterman on the football team and track team. He is also a member of the College Track program in Southeast Washington DC. Outside of DeWand being a higher achiever, he enjoys playing football, running track, working out, gaming, and hanging out with friends and family. Mental health means a person’s condition regarding their psychological and emotional well-being. To me mental health is being able to navigate one’s emotions efficiently. To do that, a person needs to have strong individual, family, and community support. Thank God I have all the above. To navigate my emotions efficiently means to be able to respond to different situations properly, and to use the people around me for help if I need it. If I’m faced with an obstacle that mentally I’m not able to handle, I am able to go to my mom, dad, sister, grandparents, etc. to assist me with a decision. I also have football coaches, teachers, and extended family to be there for me in times of need. I notice that in S.E. Washington, DC (where I’m from), mental health is looked at as something that the black community doesn't talk about. I really don’t know why, but it is seen as being weak. Unfortunately, I have friends that don’t have the basic support needed to be successful. It saddens me that my friends are failing in school, going to jail, or dying because they didn’t have the proper support needed to cope with life. I am glad that I have the support that I do. I don’t know if I could make it in DC without my family, friends, coaches, and school. I can’t really remember a situation that a person in my support system was unfamiliar with, unable to learn more about, or didn’t teach me how to deal with. I have some friends that don’t have the same support, options or opportunities that I have. I have my father in my life. My mom and dad are married. My dad teaches me how to run a business. I have friends whose father died. I have friends whose mom died. I have friends that are making bad decisions because they have no one to help them. My dad always tells me that when I’m confronted with a
Photo Credit by: @luvovah8t situation that I can’t handle, for me to think about what he would do. I tell my friends what my dad tells me, “Watch me bro and do what I do.” I look at my dad and mom to learn what it means to do what is right even if what is right is hard to do. I have experienced many situations where I had to do just that. I’m in high school and I play two sports: track and football. I also have dreams of finishing high school, playing Division 1 college football, finishing college, and making it to the NFL. For any of that to be possible, I must do what my parents want me to do. For example, I have responsibilities and chores at home that my parents require me to complete, like cleaning my room and taking out the trash. The District of Columbia Interscholastic Athletic Association (DCIAA) requires at least a 2.0 GPA, my school and coach require me to maintain a 2.5 GPA, but my parents require a 3.0 GPA to play sports. I must also be the best that I can be in sports. Some days I feel a little stressed out, but I have learned how to cope with stress. I have learned how to deal with stress by playing football. My parents teach me how to deal with stress by supporting me and raising the bar higher than what schools require of me. Every play will lead to a win or loss and a different ranking as a team or individual. The ranking leads to playoffs. Playoffs lead to championships, and championships lead to scholarships. Scholarships lead to accomplishing my goals. When I feel stressed, I remember what my goals are and usually I can regain focus. Maintaining good mental health is the difference between success and failure, positive and negative, winning and losing, life and death. In conclusion, “What does mental mean to me?” To me it means having good mental health and a great support network is how I will continue to accomplish my goals.
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MENS MENTAL HEALTH WORD SEARCH Prevention Samaritans
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POETRY CORNER
Men Too
By: Nina Hollingsworth (Age: 14) Men cry too. Men fail too. Men feel afraid too. Men feel small too. Men feel trapped too. Men feel like they are broken too. Men suffer in silence too. So instead of us having this disoriented image ... That all men need to be this big, strong, undefeated beings. We need to dig deeper because in reality men feel just as much pain as we do.
RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 15 | FALL/WINTER 2022
RALLYUP WINTER Top Picks
FOR YOUTH Don’t let what you can’t do stop you from doing what you can do. – John Wooden.
If you don’t believe in yourself, why is anyone else going to believe in you. – Tom Brady.
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Your thoughts matter. Your words matter. Your experiences matter. Your experiences are uniquely yours and no one can share your stories like you! Your words are the exact medicine needed to heal others.
CALLING ALL YOUTH to join our RallyUp team as contributor writers for our Youth Zone and share your brilliance with the world! Your voice matters to us! For more information about the Youth Zone, please contact Lex Morgan at: lexmorgan.ruyouthzone@gmail.com
RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 17 | FALL/WINTER 2022
A CHECKLIST FOR TEEN DEPRESSION:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
POOR PERFORMANCE IN SCHOOL (IF THAT REPRESENTS A REAL CHANGE). WITHDRAWAL FROM FRIENDS AND ACTIVITIES BOTH SOCIAL AND ATHLETIC.
POOR SELF-ESTEEM OR GUILT. INDECISION, LACK OF CONCENTRATION OR FORGETFULNESS.
SADNESS AND HOPELESSNESS.
RESTLESSNESS AND AGITATION.
LACK OF ENTHUSIASM, ENERGY OR MOTIVATION.
CHANGES IN EATING OR SLEEPING PATTERNS. SUBSTANCE ABUSE INCLUDING ALCOHOL USE.
ANGER AND RAGE. OVERREACTION TO CRITICISM.
PROBLEMS WITH AUTHORITY, AT SCHOOL AND WITH POLICE.
COMPLAINTS OF BEING UNABLE TO SATISFY IDEALS.
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OR ACTIONS.
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
General Teen Depression Statistics Depression is the most common mental health disorder in the United States among teens and adults. 2.8 million youth age 12-17 had at least one major depressive episode. Between 10 to 15 percent of teenagers have some symptoms of teen depression at any one time.
(teenhelp.com)
It is important for parents to be alert to their teenage children, making certain that they are listening to what they are saying, how they are behaving and how they are appearing. This may require you to spend more time talking. Giving your teen your full attention and actively listening. Any real departures in the ways in which they behave or talk about the way they feel should be taken as a warning sign of possible trouble. It is important to be aware of what is happening at school, in their social circle and in the community.
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COVER STORY
THE FATHER OF BALANCED
DR. JEFFREY
HARRIS
You don’t have to see the whole staircase. You just have to take the first step.
Photo Credit by: Desir Destine
HEALING MIND AND BODY THERAPY
r. Jeffrey Harris is a dynamic and highly effective Licensed Mental Health Counselor with over 15 years of diverse experience serving youth and families as a Counselor in the Education Sector. A strong believer in maintaining a purposeful, balanced, and holistic lifestyle, Dr. Harris is also a Certified Personal trainer with a commitment to supporting his clients in the pursuit of their personal and professional goals. With a personable and compassionate personality, Dr. Harris became one of the first Black contestants to appear on the hit TV show, The Bachelorette. Born in Brooklyn, New York and raised in Miami, Florida, Dr. Harris earned his Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education at The University of Central Florida. While attending UCF, he became an esteemed member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, and devoted time to serving the community. Dr. Harris obtained his Master’s Degree in Mental Health Counseling from Barry University. Passionate about education, Dr. Harris was awarded his Ph.D. in Professional Studies in Education from Capella University. Relentlessly focused on pursuing research which would positively influence support systems, tools, and resources geared toward helping disadvantaged youth overcome challenges and increase successful outcomes, his extensive doctoral research culminated in a pioneering and impactful dissertation titled Gender-Based Risk Differences for Black Adolescent Students who Experienced Parental Divorce. Health and fitness continue to play a pivotal role in his life. Given the tremendous value and life-enhancing returns Dr. Harris has garnered from these central facets of his life, he wants his clients and community to share many of the same successes he has enjoyed. Dr. Harris understands how very difficult it is and how lonely it can feel to face both internal and external life setbacks and personal tragedies. He knows firsthand what is it like to face imposing and seemingly impossible struggles. This explains why he has a keen interest in researching, analyzing, and developing evidence-based yet practical concepts and tools to help his clients and community understand the undeniably powerful link between physical well-being and mental health.
Dr. Harris loves a quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., which captures the critical importance of having the courage to start when faced with incredibly difficult and emotionally-charged challenges: “You don’t have to see the whole staircase. You just have to take the first step.” Dr. Harris founded Balanced Healing, LLC., with the compelling mission of educating the community and treating each of his clients like family. He creates personalized treatment plans to help walk each individual client step-by-step through the arduous yet gratifying journey of healing from a wide range of mental, social-emotional, and/or physical health issues. His primary focus is providing each of his clients and community members the strength, support, and resources necessary to address whatever adverse life experiences stand in the way of living the life and achieving the success they imagined. RUM: What inspired you to choose becoming a mental health counselor? Dr.Harris: Being a mental health counselor is the greatest job in the world. Every day I wake up, I am so honored and excited to help others
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through some of their darkest days and to guide them to much brighter and more fulfilled futures. Although I enjoy comforting others and reducing pain in their lives, the truth is my decision to become a mental health counselor came from an overwhelming place of pain in my own life. The source of inspiration which led me to this field and enables me to make a positive difference in the lives of the clients I serve sadly stem from some of the toughest, loneliest, and most anxiety-ridden times I ever faced. These were times when personal tragedies and setbacks were threatening to get the best of me—and they almost did!
compelling vision for my professional life which was to become a mental health counselor so I could help others safely navigate through and overcome the very things that had almost gotten the best of me before I found professional support. Now, as a licensed mental health counselor myself it is my mission to use my education, experiences, and firsthand knowledge to help others overcome challenges and to live the life they imagined for themselves before issues such as self-doubt, anxiety, or depression clouded their vision.
As I entered late childhood, I constantly battled with depression and did not see a way of getting through it. No matter where I was or what I was doing, depression and anxiety clouded my thinking and made it impossible to focus on anything in my present life or future which might bring me joy, fulfillment, or a sense of belonging. There is a saying that success begets success; it is also true that pain begets pain. When someone is hurting and lacks the coping skills and support to address the underlying sources of the pain, the pain is bound to get worse. I know it did for me. I remember struggling with an eating disorder, perpetual low self-esteem, and stifling abandonment issues. All these struggles combined caused me unmanageable pain and distress. Most days, I had a difficult time at the thought of even making it through the day, let alone having to focus on accomplishing any important tasks. It took years for me to get the help I knew I needed all along but was not sure how or where to look for it.
Dr.Harris: I’ve had my fair share of challenges in life, but my parents’ divorce was the most difficult for me to grapple with because it caused the deepest trauma I have ever experienced. I was just 9 years old at the time. I did not know it then, but I would never be the same kid after the divorce as I was before it. To that point, my parents had provided me such a loving and cohesive upbringing. My parents both placed a strong emphasis on family values, which was so vital to my self-esteem and self-worth, and then suddenly their marriage was dissolving right in front of my eyes.
Having been through the crushing torment of depression and anxiety, and coming out on the other side, I started to feel healthy again. I began to develop a
It would have been easier if I did not like my parents or if I liked or loved just one parent over the other, but the truth is I loved and respected both of my parents. I felt such a strong attachment to both and could not imagine living without either of them. Under these circumstances, any child is going to be highly vulnerable to the pain, anxiousness, and fear of seeing their beloved parents’ divorce. For me, I do not know what was more difficult—my parents telling me they were going their separate ways to live in different cities, or my parents allowing me to choose which parent to live with after their divorce. I will never forget that moment in time. My father told me he was on the phone with my mother. He said, “We have a question we want to ask you and whatever answer you provide, remember we both love you.” He then asked me a question that resonates in my soul to this day. He asked, “Who do you want to live with, me or your mother?” I had to make that tough decision at the age of 9 years old. It is easy for me to see now that my parents only gave me that choice because they both loved me deeply and they genuinely wanted to see me be as happy as I could be given the circumstances. The troubling irony is that being confronted with that impossible choice only compounded the anger, sadness, and emotional confusion which immediately
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Photo Credit by: Desir Destine
After a decade of suffering, I finally sought out mental health services when I started college. It was then that I committed to doing the hard work that was necessary to share openly about my struggles. In more ways than they could ever know, the licensed mental health counselors I worked with at the University of Central Florida helped save my life. They collaborated with me to help me address the many layers or inner turmoil that had been eating away at me for so many years. It did not happen overnight, but eventually I started to feel better, and they helped me not only acknowledge and move past my inner struggles, but they also helped me rebuild my life with developing much healthier habits and a far more positive frame of mind.
RUM: Can you share with us one of your biggest setbacks in life?
overtook my life in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. Although I had been a happy, enthusiastic, and high-performing student up until then, my attitude about school changed drastically, my behavior went downhill, and my academic performance also plummeted. I started getting into fights with classmates I used to treat with kindness, and I lost all focus on why school was important. This trying divorce-related trauma and its spiraling effects made it feel like my life was falling apart. As a result, I wound up failing the fourth grade, which was also the same day my mother told me that we were moving from New York to Florida to live with my aunt. RUM: How did you overcome this setback? Dr.Harris: The deep hurt and enormous fallout from my parents’ divorce derailed my otherwise happy and fortunate childhood and sent me down a dark path, and it took me years to fully recover. I did not achieve recovery easily, quickly, or all at once. It was painfully gradual, over the period of many years. I was not empowered with healthy coping tools as a child, and initially it was my survival instincts which kept me going when times were extraordinarily tough.
Photo Credit by: Desir Destine
As a young child, a crucial decision I made to help me survive was to maintain a relationship with my father. Although a lot of young kids understandably want to blame one or more parents for a divorce, for me, there was a deep-down understanding that the divorce was not a case of having a bad mother or father; this was a case where my parents had gotten to a difficult point in their relationship and decided to end it. Instinctually I think I knew that my father had always been there for me as a child, and even though he was not in a relationship with my mother anymore
and we were now living hundreds of miles apart in different states, I felt strongly that I had to stay connected to him so that I could have at least some sense of normalcy in my life. As the years progressed, I found immeasurable value in forming positive relationships with other adults and my peers. We all know the amazing value teachers have, but so many teachers out there do not even realize how crucial every single interaction is with a child in their classroom. So often, a teacher would say just the right word I needed to hear, or a teacher would ask me how I was doing during a time when I really needed someone to ask me something so amazingly simple but so incredibly important. In addition to receiving this kind of support from many teachers over the years, I also found strength and hope in forming strong friendships with several peers who would become lifelong friends.
this world. I would also encourage my younger self to use journaling as a tool to express himself creatively and to begin adopting a healthier lifestyle knowing that doing so would help increase his self-esteem, his self-awareness, and his focus on a more positive future filled with all the happiness and success he could ever imagine. Finally, I would tell my younger self to surround himself with people who are positive and uplifting, and to find people he can trust and be himself around without any concern of being judged. RUM: What are somethings you do to cope with life’s challenges to maintain good mental health?
By far, the biggest piece of the recovery puzzle came when I decided to seek professional counseling, which provided me with a safe space not only to explore my feelings and thoughts but to also learn the tools I needed to acknowledge the extent of my troubles and to take empowering steps toward a healthier future. As a therapist, I believe it is important for me to be an example to my clients as well as others in my community and this includes admitting when I need help and seeking the resources necessary to remain just as healthy and vigorous from a mental health perspective as I am from a physical standpoint. As a licensed counselor I know I have a responsibility to my clients to ensure that I am healthy and emotionally available to provide the fullest support and resources available to each of my valued clients.
Dr.Harris: As a counselor I am honored to embrace the responsibility to my clients of ensuring that I not only practice what I preach but that I continue to actively engage in a mentally and emotionally healthy lifestyle. Since research clearly links good mental health and vigorous physical health, I consistently take steps to maintain a healthy lifestyle, which includes getting sufficient sleep, exercising regularly, and eating nutritious foods. The combination of regular exercise and a healthy diet have been proven to reduce feelings of stress and to improve your mood and overall sense of well-being. Journaling each night before bed allows me to process my thoughts and feelings, and to reflect on my personal and professional practices. I also make it a routine to practice deep breathing and to make quiet time for prayer. I find it important to share with my clients I also have my own therapist. Because therapists make space to be fully present and to serve others to the greatest extent possible, to maintain balance and peak performance for my clients, it is important for myself and other therapists to make space for ourselves, as well.
RUM: As a LMHC, what advice would you give to your younger self?
RUM: Please share with us what is Mind & Body Therapy?
Dr.Harris: Not many people know this, but I was a very introverted kid growing up. Looking back, I believe a lot of that had to do with me lacking self-confidence and self-worth because I was afraid to be myself and to speak my mind around others. Despite the efforts my parents made to instill confidence in me, I just did not believe in myself. I did not feel worthy. I did not see hopes for a bright future for me like others around me would sometimes talk about for themselves.
Dr.Harris: I created Mind & Body Therapy as a representation of the remarkably strong connection between both Mental Health and Physical Health. Research has repeatedly shown that people with serious mental health conditions are at high risk of experiencing chronic physical health conditions. Research has also demonstrated that people with chronic physical conditions are at enormous risk of developing poor mental health. Therefore, understanding the powerful links between the status of the mind and the condition of the body is an often overlooked yet critical step for achieving holistic health in one’s life. Only when this link is acknowledged and understood can professionals provide proven strategies and personalized tools to reduce the incidence of co-existing conditions and tosupport those already living with mental illnesses and/or chronic physical conditions.
Knowing this now, I would encourage my younger self to be far more trusting in himself and in his natural talents and abilities. I would tell my younger self to always listen to his inner voice because that is that voice that echoes the loudest and furthest in your soul. Trusting in that voice means valuing yourself and knowing that you have everything you need to be whoever you want to become in
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In my practice, I provide a far-ranging, comprehensive, and intricate level of care for each of my valued clients. I offer each client a solid knowledge base, a diverse skill set, and a close background of firsthand experiences since I am both a licensed mental health counselor and a certified personal trainer with countless hours of practice and study devoted to mastering each area. As a result, I have the unique ability to address the most concerning health issues for each of my valued clients, to formulate a plan for improvements, and to guide each client along the long and winding path of healing, recovery, and a happier and more fulfilled life—much like I have traveled in my own life. RUM: Do you feel men need an outlet or community that provides a safe zone for them to release and discuss the things they go through?
RUM: What is one stigma associated with men and mental health that is often misleading….and why? Dr.Harris: We’ve touched on this but to dive deeper into one of society’s greatest stigmas placed on men is to explore and reshape the misconception that men should not talk about,
Photo Credit by: Desir Destine
Dr.Harris: No question about it. I would love to see a radical shift in this direction because I know all men could benefit from such an outlet in ways large or small, but how many of them will seek it out? Let’s be honest—as things stand in our society, the majority will not. Here again, this is where society has practically conditioned modern men to ignore feelings and to wave off internal struggles as if they are not a problem worth solving or even talking about. Unfortunately, due to social norms some men feel more comfortable trying to air things out or laugh off real problems over drinks with friends. They may associate such camaraderie or socialization as a safe zone of sorts, but venting about or laughing off problems with friends at a bar is unlikely to get to the heart of appropriately addressing any serious mental health issue. I do encourage socializing with friends but when it comes to effectively dealing with mental health challenges, the healthiest and most effective approach involves seeking the support of a trusted licensed mental health counselor. Again, as a society we need to normalize men openly discussing these pressing issues in a healthy way in order for things to change. When this societal change occurs is when I believe more men will feel comfortable seeking the mental health services they need.
do not want to talk about, or do not need to talk about their feelings and problems. As most men subconsciously prioritize the stereotype of looking and acting tough over the need to take care of their mental health needs, we get what we see today, which is bottled up anger and frustration, and unaddressed or unresolved inner conflicts which continue to grow until the proverbial volcano explodes and the world around them all but comes undone. I acknowledge that there are key differences between men and women but that does not mean that both men and women cannot benefit from opening up about problems they are going through and seeking support for internal struggles which otherwise could fester. Until we convince men that it is not only okay but oftentimes necessary to participate in mental health counseling in order to get help and move forward, we are going to continue to have millions of men needlessly and endlessly suffering from depression, anxiety, and other mentally and physically taxing forms of unmet or unresolved mental health needs.
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RUM: Why do you believe men are afraid to seek help when they need it? Dr.Harris: I think the issue has far more to do with hesitation than fear. Men are not afraid of seeking out mental health services, however I do believe they are hesitant because that is not what is accepted as normal in our society. Again, we are talking about conditioning. Some men are hesitant because they are not comfortable with the very term “mental health” and the idea that it requires acknowledgement, time, and purposeful work to address. Some men are not comfortable at the thought of sitting in a chair across from someone they are supposed to speak openly with and explore solutions with and create a plan for turning things around in a healthy and well-rounded manner, mentally and physically. Any change takes time, and the meaningful changes we are discussing will take a whole lot of it. All I can hope is that a paradigm shift is on the horizon, and I know myself and my team at Balanced Healing Mind & Body Therapy are all committed to being part of the solution. RUM: In closing, what would you say to a male who is dealing with or currently facing mental health challenges and feel like giving up? Dr.Harris: Whatever goals you have, you are worth it, and I am here to help you get to where you want to go and where you want to be. Whether you are anxious, confused, depressed, overwhelmed, apathetic, or anything in between, there is a reason you are here, and you can get to a much better place. Whatever problems you have, and no matter how dark of a path you have traveled, the life you imagined is still available for you, waiting for you to make it happen. In life, balance brings peace and happiness, and enables you to focus on the pursuit of dreams which matter to you. To achieve optimal mental health requires a commitment to physical health, as well. Put mental health stigmas aside and let me have the honor of helping you live the life you imagined.
You don’t have to see the whole staircase. You just have to take the first step. ~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Contact Info: : Dr.JeffreyH : www.balancedheal.com : Drharris@balancedheal.com : (321) 324-6141
CORNER
Normalize This
By Charles S. Smith MPH, aka “Doc Sha-Rock.” [Verse 1]
Let's normalize checking on our brothers and sisters. Yes, you man -- you can tell him you love him. Black man with no felonies. Married to a Queen for centuries. No outside kids or side concubines. Blessings to my Queen who stays so fine. Beautiful mind who ages like fine wine. I hate to see you go. But love to see you from behind. More precious than gold and silver. Moderate my liquor so I can protect my liver. On that Sea Moss cause good loving is what I deliver. I make you shiver. Give you a shoulder to cry on. King of my household. Beautiful, Black and Bold. Standing for my community never gets old. An example for the youth, because giving nurtures the soul. I'm giving that Big *ick energy. I don't play. No trick in me. I will put you on a pedestal by design. Give you what your heart desires to relax your mind. No suitor you would have to find. Normalize This. I flip this. Like a gymnast. I'm on my fitness. You are a witness to Greatness.
[Verse 2]
I got a couple degrees. A connoisseur of green trees. On my soldier ish like army fatigues. Seven streams of income and I don't get tired. I'm the Boss and I can't get fired. If you on your ish and you know my ish you hired. I have to keep the wolves fed. Because if they don't eat they coming for your head. Black gold, Texas tea like Uncle Jed. My partners wear blue and red. I don't give a flip. Respect is what is bred. It takes one to know one. God in the flesh is the closest description. Doctor to your pharmacy I deliver the prescription. Knowledge of self is the Remedy. One of my favorite rappers used to sing, “Check, check out my melody.” The other god MC said, “Knowledge reigns supreme over nearly everyone.” Normalize This. I flip this. Like a gymnast. I'm on my fitness. You are a witness to Greatness.
[Verse3]
Let's normalize real genuine masculinity. We need royal femininity. Why are we sexualizing kids when they still have virginity. We need to be our best so humanity can last eternally. King, write in a journal so you can see; so you can know how you feel internally. Health is wealth. Wealth is health. Knowledge of self is wealth. Look at yourself. Look at that wealth. Regal-ness of a King. Endlessness of a ring. Constant good vibes only. A God or a Goddess can never be lonely. Self-care is the best care. I don't care about your hair or what you wear. As long as you wear the Crown and don't let the regular smegular get you down.
Charles Smith strives to build up his community through the written and spoken word. One of his favorite quotes comes from a hip hop contemporary, Dres Tha BEATnik: "Black men do work. Black men do raise families. Black men can be monogamous. Black men are successful.” Charles has written a poem/rap he believes will uplift his community. It is entitled, “Normalize This.”
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CORNER
So Far Gone... By: Darius Fennell
This is it, I’m so far gone From peace I used to know Trapped inside this place of fear With no where else to go Tick tock, tock tick Time just drags away Heart flutter, cold sweat Yeah, this feeling’s here to stay Darkness and deep despair The mask is harder to wear Exhaustion, fatigue and no strength From all the wear and tear Can you see me? The real me? Under this big smile? Would your heart truly break for me? If I showed my inner child? The tearless cries, and silent screams Would you look deep into my pain? Could you handle the darkness I hide away That flows deep in these veins?
The monster within, the lover of sin The one you rarely see Rage and fear and all I hold dear Waging war inside of me Dare I hope or dare I think That one day I’ll find peace? Dare I fight or dare I strive To break loose and be free? All I’ve known and all I’ve learned Seems to be a lie Once was blind and now, I see But inside it feels like I died Still no way out and though it seems I try my best to be strong But here we go, another panic attack!! (Sigh)…I’m so far gone…
Darius Fennell is a mental health recovery and therapy advocate. He is also a passionate author and Cognitive Behavioral Coach with a strong desire to break down mental health stigmas, especially among African American men. Leveraging from his own past mental health struggles and recovery, Darius leads a local support group where men can find a safe place to talk, gain new perspectives, and learn new strategies that promote healthy growth. : @beyond.anxiety
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Work of Art By: Andrae Hayden
Scripture
The scriptures declare that all of God’s works are wonderful and perfect in creation. Thus, so are we; human beings created by a God that does not make mistakes. We are wonderful, and we are perfect. God knew us first.
Daily Affirmation
I acknowledge my own self-worth and embrace the person I see as the person you created me to be. I no longer look at what I see in me, but I see myself as you see me. I am your creation. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Taken from “Devotionals for the Mind” by Andrae Hayden Available on Amazon.com
Devotionals for a Queen is a devotional book that travels with you through many different stages in life. Life can bring about many changes as well as challenges. During their own journeys through young adulthood, authors Andrae Hayden and TJ Woodard experienced their share of hardships, as well as good times. Through the strength of Jesus Christ, the lessons they learned along the way led them on a path to spiritual maturity. They teamed up to create this powerful devotional unlike any other. Specifically crafting each devotional to encourage, and motivate its readers through various stages of Life. Devotionals for a Queen comes straight from their hearts to yours. It is transparent, heartfelt, and highlights some of the greatest scriptures and motivational quotes. Designed to empower you to be the royal Queen that God designed you to be. Andrae and Tamika pray that readers are inspired to go deeper into the person their savior desires them to be as believers. His love, strength, and peace will guide, and transform you into the Queen that he created you to be.
Photo by: Ben Mack from Pexels
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14) I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well. Psalms 139:13-14 (NIV)
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THERAPY IS DOPE
DEAR YOU,
YOU ARE WORTH IT By: Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R
There is a saying that goes, "If you don't take care of yourself, who will take care of you?". We all need time for ourselves to create, rest, heal, laugh, and sometimes without the responsibilities of life. Self-care is essential, yet many of us don't follow through. We say we need it, read quotes about it, and maybe schedule the occasional Mani/Pedi, but do we really give ourselves the full attention, time, and compassion we are often quick to give everyone else?
The world sometimes forgets women are human with real needs
SO WHAT IS SELF-CARE?
Self-care is an act of self-love. It's understanding your priorities and learning to respect yourself and the people you choose to spend your time with. It's deciding how much of yourself you give away, acknowledging the qualities that make you unique beyond external achievements, and understanding what you express reflects what is inside you. It can look like:
”
Saying "no" to the thing you don't want to do, even if it may make someone upset. Recognizing and working on your insecurities instead of being self-critical. Maintaining financial independence. Doing work that brings you joy and not crushes your soul Going to therapy or getting involved with a mindset coach. Getting to know what you like and doing more of that. Challenging negative beliefs and rewriting childhood stories. Being vulnerable and willing to spend time alone. WHY IS CHOOSING YOURSELF SO HARD?
Women can be extra hard on themselves, especially women of color, because we have so much to prove, so much riding on our success, and this belief that everything depends on us. That can produce some guilt when it comes to taking time for yourself. After 11 years of raising a family, I decided to take an overnight spa trip by myself. It took me weeks to have a conversation with my partner about it because part of me felt I needed permission to "leave my family." I had to reconcile that I was not leaving them because my love doesn't go away like that. I was instead taking time to recharge so I could be better available for them and myself. Despite my mom guilt and resistance to talking about it, the trip was booked; it was scheduled on my calendar. Sometimes, that is the motivation you need, a scheduled goal or task, so there is no backing out. My family's reaction was laced in mom guilt, and it reflected the same belief I had around "leaving the family," but this is how I approached it:
I ENJOY MY OWN COMPANY
I am comfortable spending time alone. I love the time I can spend with myself! I love my friends and family, but I also enjoy my own space. I always have, and I realize even as an adult, I still have to honor that. I used the time to decompress, treated myself to sushi and red velvet cupcake (that I did not have to share), woke up in my king-size bed (with no elbow in my ribs), prayed, meditated, wrote, and tackled a project uninterrupted. The experience reminded me of the person behind it all. I get more done when I am free of distractions. My productivity and creativity shine when I am alone. My problem-solving skills are at their best, and I love having the opportunity to explore my mind and soul. I feel free to be myself and live my life exactly as I choose during my time alone. I have more control over my life and my time when I am free from the expectations of others. Notice how you feel just hearing those words. Notice what it brings up for you. In the long run, acts like this reduce our day-to-day anxieties and contribute to emotionally healthy lives. Even if it is one day free of expectations, or one minute, enjoy that moment. Permit yourself to spend this time exactly as you please. Enjoy your own company. The responsibilities will still be there. Self-Reflection Questions:
List 5 things that deplete you. How can I surround myself with more of what uplifts my spirit? Am I waiting for someone else's permission to prioritize myself? Do I enjoy my own company? Why or why not? Am I brave enough to schedule a day or more for myself? Yes, take out your calendar and do so now.
To my daughter, I explained it's just like when she decides not to play outside with her friends or retreats to her room to do something she enjoys, like slime or drawing. I asked her if she treasures her alone time, and she said yes. I explained in the same way I need space to retreat where I'm not disturbed and I'm free to play, create and rest. My husband needed just as much explanation. I shared the reality of what my world looks like as a therapist, coach, teacher, boss, mom, and wife and how much I've had on my plate that requires me to put out energy with no real-time to recharge. And besides, he doesn't like hot saunas and massages, but mama does. He eventually understood it but still dropped sly guilt trip comments right up to me heading out the door. Guess what though? We all survived.
Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R, is a Licensed Therapist, Mental Health Consultant and Personal Development Coach with over 15 years’ experience. Amanda oversees Therapy is Dope for RallyUp Magazine. You can find her at : : @Therapyisdope : @Therapyisdope : www.amandafludd.com
References: Gallup Center for Black Voices: https://news.gallup.com/315575/measuring-black-voices.aspx The State of the Gender Pay Gap: https://www.payscale.com/data/gender-pay-gap
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DEAR AMANDA
How to break out of an
UNFULFILLING JOB?
Tis the season for new jobs, Fa la la la la la, la la la! Honestly, a lot of people are struggling with this with the pandemic putting demands on emotional wellbeing and forcing people to challenge if they are happy in their current positions. If anything this past year has caused us to value life and purpose in deeper ways than employers can handle. In September alone, according to usnews.com "A record 4.4 million people quit their jobs" in 2021. So you are not alone, but how do you do it? A few suggestions to tackle it from an emotionally healthy standpoint and success mindset: 1. Have you gotten all you can from your current job? Evaluate if there are other internal opportunities that you can apply for. Reassess your skills and update your resume. You may have more marketable skills than you realize. These skills could evolve into a side business that produces more joy and income or make you a catch for another organization. What are two skills or achievements that speak to your abilities? 2. Don't make a decision on emotion alone. Write out a pros and cons list for staying at your current job, and a pros and cons list for leaving the current job. Photo by: Stanley Morales from Pexels I would also challenge you to ask people in your work circle, and who know you well outside of that, for the same pros and cons feedback to add to that list for more perspective. What speaks loudly to you from the list? 3. Get a plan and support. Figure out an exit strategy and break it down into small attainable goals. To support that process connect with a coach or mentor. Two sets of eyes are better than one, and with a little external support that plan might come together faster. Who are two people you can reach out to in your circle or local community? 4. Change is hard and will kick up a lot of fear that can keep us complacent and frustrated with ourselves. Keep working through the fear and see #3! That said, what are you afraid of? Is there another way to look at it? Why do you feel unfilled? What are you being called to do? Amanda Fludd, Licensed Clinical Therapist in NY, Mental Health Consultant and international women in business Empowerment Coach. She helps professional women master limiting mindsets, achieve work life balance and live their lives in confidence. Her passion is working with people affected by trauma, particularly people of color (POC), and she is excited by the opportunities to reduce the stigma around mental health and improve healing amongst Black and Caribbean communities. Her coaching programs focus on work-life balance during crisis situations, understanding trauma in the workplace, tackling negative thinking and productivity and self-care through mindfulness. Find her at: www.amandafludd.com and follow her on Instagram @therapyisdope Thank you guys for another great question and we hope this interactive answer was helpful to guide you towards meaningful change. Amanda Fludd Therapist & Mindset Coach for Minority Women In Business. RallyUp Magazine
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RALLYUPMAGAZINE.COM | 29 | Summer/Fall Issue 2021
DON’T MAN’S FEEL FREE A ISTRONG WITH COVID STRENGTH By: Talona Y. Smith I wouldn’t say that going
By: Nina Hollingsworth
through covid is necessarily difficult but it definitely wasn’t the easiest. Sometimes I hasatheir ownor depiction of the or the perfect forget veryone to grab mask I forget toperfect socialman, distance myself wife when you are man for them. Tall, handsome, independent, wealthy, strong, stressed. Weight is from certain Evenprovider, thoughfaithful, I have both educated, my vaccine also a possibility. endowed,people. sense of humor, talented, A leader. A robustwithout defender. feeling Head of the household. shots, accomplished. I still can’t go anywhere I'm at risk of You have to keep Quick on their feet. It’s sad not being able to freely go up with the catching something. demands of places used to inthe order to But prevent the I physical fitness Many menlike are Ijust that…on outside. how is having it for them on virus. the miss the free feeling I used to have before this whole guidelines. Then inside? corona breakout. Although I am happy that I have the there’s PTSD. It’s Society is often disparaging and overlook the emotions and mental state of we shouldn’t opportunity to go back into the actual school building I like men. Many men are taught, or genuinely believe, that the ability to suppress share our thoughts found virtual learning hard to keep up with. was difficult their feelings is what makes them resilient. The strength menItare expected to on our mental have, is the same strength thatframes costs many them meet, their peace of mind. The in health or people memorising the time ofofeach and turning façade men usethey to mask their pain is detrimental mental state testing of would consider us the work gave on time, and to alltheir the online mind. Their concealed emotions rob them of their true identity. weak or think it definitely didn’t help the situation at all. And even though could affect our For a malethat perspective of howto it is to bewith a mancovid in today’s I asked I hate we have deal in society, the first place I job, or ability to do our job.” four the same to question, is a mental healthinsubject men deal with stillmen manage have“What a little fun just a safer way. For that people don’t typically realize?” I wanted the opportunity to understand The youngest of the group said, “Depression, anxiety, atychiphobia, and example I went go karting, went out to eat, had firsthand how they really feel about mental health. confidence issues. Growing up, we are bred to be strong, supportive, sleepovers with a few friends, I even went to the beach. emotionless, etc. But I feel like…raising young men that way leads them to One said, “Easy, depression. it seems common So man in conclusion don’t Although let covid get more in the way for of living be desensitized to a lot of situations. I believe that living the ‘I can do it all by women, men deal with depression at alarming rates due to the financial myself’ mentality destroys a lot of opportunities. Personally, I’ll be down in a your life in the best of ways. support we are required to provide. I’ve been depressed before but never bad place and still refuse to ask for help because I feel like a man should
E
sought help. I grew through it my own way. Most women that I know, who are depressed, are more inclined to get help. Men are undercover depressed all of the time, and hide symptoms…unlike women who may show it.”
figure it out by himself. Is that right? No, but that’s what I’ve seen and been exposed to for so long. I’ve been physically and mentally drained and feel like there is nothing I can do and have no place to go. Growing up I didn’t have that opportunity to break down and say what I needed to say. It wasn’t until I left for college and was on my own that I found help. Apparently, I have anxiety and depression. I’ve coped with it for so long that I thought it was normal. It’s just the stigma that being vulnerable or opening up, makes you weak. Personally, I feel like it made me a better man and has given me the opportunity to be a mentor to younger men. They call me whenever they need someone to talk to, vent and get things off their chest, or just play ball. Whatever they need to maintain their mental health I try to be there for them. I am learning more about becoming a better man; and enjoy the opportunity to build brotherly bonds and support those who are emotionally lost as I was into becoming better men also. Things learned in life have no set time. We all look out for each other, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.”
Flashback of RUM Comics
Another man said, “Anxiety and depression for sure. That can come from relationships, finances, work, and any other aspects in life. Sometimes we go through things, and we just want to ‘tough it out’ because we feel like no one will care or can help us. Also, someone may see it as a weakness or try to exploit that. In my own experience, there are times when things can happen with my wife, and I don’t say anything because I know it will be thrown back in my face. It could be anything…like something that I did in the past. It’s kind of like…the issue is driving me crazy but is it worth me saying anything? The male ego can be another thing. I don’t have an example to give but an author and celebrity I follow always says, ‘the male ego is very fragile.” He went on to say, “One thing that irritates me is that SOME women will get upset that a man doesn’t show his emotions but will then get upset when he does show his emotions. We can’t win for losing. Then there are men who are ‘in touch’ with their emotions and will be called ‘female dogs’ and everything else under the sun. Men commit suicide at a rate almost 4 times higher than women do. At the end of the day, we are tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. One of my best friends died last year, and a female relative told me I needed to be strong because I have a family that needs me to take care of them. I’m sure she didn’t mean any harm in saying that but being strong was killing me. I was so tired of being strong. I wanted to be vulnerable but didn’t know how. I very rarely cry. Even when I did cry, it felt like my pain wasn’t being touched.” A third man said, “That’s a broad question. We don’t talk about it a lot. If you’re military, it could be from not getting promoted, being a supervisor, or work/life balance. It could come from performance issues with your
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The commonality in their statements is the fact that men tend to hide how they feel to appease people who often quantify their abilities/capabilities, such as mates, spouses, employers, friends, family…and many times themselves. How costly is it for men to hide their emotions in order to be regarded as masculine…strong…feared…valued? How do we break the generational curse that weighs down our gentle giants? We start by ending the gender stereotypes. Be an active listener. Some men want the safety of being able to vent without judgement. Educate yourself on men’s mental health. Check on your male friends…even the strong ones. Encourage them to seek professional help if it becomes too much for you, or if he needs more than a supportive friend. Men can’t carry the world on their shoulders alone. It takes support from all of us to thrive.
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HOW POSITIVE LIVING STRATEGIES CAN HELP YOU! By: Kendra Hathaway
H
ave you ever wondered how certain things you see can calm you, while other things you see can stress you out, or make you feel overwhelmed? How does what you see add to, or take away from your Mental Health? This question is valid because we all yearn for peace, relaxation, and rejuvenation at times…so much so that our minds can take us to places like the picture above with just a thought, or a sound. Have you ever wondered what thoughts or sounds come to our mind when we see things not so calming? Like it or not, our minds create symmetry related to peace and calmness as well as pain and trauma. Because of this, we have to be careful what we allow in our minds. Things that create a constant sense of urgency show up in our minds as stressful, and this can cause anxiety. Studies show that persistent anxiety causes real emotional distress, and can lead to us becoming unwell.
from your life? You may not be able to leave your environment, but could you change it? Could you add things to your environment that might help you to develop a better perspective, or a more peaceful existence? No, I’m not saying you need to be on vacation every single day (Who could afford that?) but sometimes, we need to evaluate and determine whether our style of living, and or interacting could be dangerous to our mental health. With that being said, we can prevent and reduce anxiety by recognizing the need for change or refreshment in our daily lives. This will help us to reduce our anxiety and find the balance we need. It’s more important than ever to be able to relax and recover. My thought is…our inner peace is paramount! What’s yours?
It’s very possible to develop anxiety disorders such as panic attacks, phobias, and obsessive behaviors when we constantly experience stress, and feel overwhelmed. – And…this is why we have to work on our issues! One thing that works for me and may work for you is constantly looking over my day-to-day living strategies. Have you ever thought about your way of living and what it adds, or takes away
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Tips to reducing anxiety and stress: Find private and positive spaces in your home Make certain areas in your home give you comfort, you can do this by adding things that calm you such as plants, soft pillows, serine sounds, natural effects, etc. Let others in your home know about your special area, explain that it’s your private space Incorporate soft sounds, bright colors, special seating or anything that feels good to you Believe that you deserve this space, and actually use it Lastly, commit to your own wellness by taking things that help you…seriously! And don’t stop finding cool things to make you space even better. Kendra Hathaway, MA, FLE, LMFT Kendra Hathaway is a Family Life Educator, a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist and Self-help Author from Michigan. She is the Founder of Positive Transformations- A Private therapy Practice in Michigan. Kendra also contracts with agencies and different facilities to meet her client’s needs. She specializes in personal growth among other things and works notably with African American women and young adults who are looking to improve their lives. Kendra can be reached directly at: : (586) 551-2757 : Positivetransformationpllc@gmail.com
Mental Health Warrior Zone XIII
NIKITA POWELL-COTTMAN
Kenai Hollingsworth
Vanity Dawson
Lorelai Symmes
Jada Carrington
Kayla Sampson
Robnesha R. Smith
Tai Campbell
Cymone Jones
Lawrence Durden
Neta Vaught
Kevin Berthia
Tamika Woodard
Tyshia Douglas
Craig Cooper
Jessica “Kelly Jé” Kelly
Dasia Wood
Tanzania Fair
Tyeisha Brewer-Fields
Elyse Lancaster
Jessica Baggett
Evangelist Tamika
Kavon Burton
Jermichael Tanner
Mental Illness, Diagnoses or Labels Does Not Define Us! We Are Real People with Real Stories Fighting Back Against the BattleFields of Our Minds! We Are Warriors! Read some of these warrior stories at: www.rallyupmagazine.com
WARRIOR ZONE
KEVIN
BERTHIA K
evin Berthia is a suicide survivor and prevention advocate. Kevin was born with genetic major depression disorder. In 2005, at the age of 22, Kevin attempted to take his own life by jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge. Eight years after his attempt Kevin was reunited with the officer who talked him back to safety. Since then, Kevin's story of HOPE has touched a diverse group of audiences all around the world. Kevin has had the opportunity to share his story with several magazine outlets along with local and national news stations. Kevin’s story was also featured on the Steve Harvey Show. The photo of him standing on the chord was on the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle and placed on the 75 most iconic photos of the 21st Century. Kevin believes that having surviving an attempted suicide plays a major role in the prevention of additional suicides. No one knows more about the darkness that surrounds suicide than those who have walked in its shadow. RUM: How old were you when you had your bouts with depression? KEVIN: As early as age 5 I heard voices in my head and I knew something was different about me. I had no idea that it was depression. My mother told me early in life that I was adopted. RUM: Take us back to the day of your suicide attempt, what was you feeling?... Was there a life altering event? KEVIN: On March 11, 2005, I was 22 at the time. On that morning I woke up and every painful moment in my life I felt. It was like a semi truck parked on my chest. I felt like a complete failure and I was tired of waking up in so much pain everyday. I failed at being a Father, Brother, Son I did not see any other way out.
RUM: You survived! God sent an officer to be your life line, how did that day change your life? KEVIN: God sending me Officer Briggs completely changed my entire life. You could have sent me to any first responder in the world. I honestly believe that it had to be him. He had the perfect compassion that I needed without that I am not here today to do this interview. RUM: What are your coping mechanisms and what would you say is your safe place? KEVIN: My coping mechanisms now include: Prayer, writing daily achievable goals for myself, support groups, speaking or sharing my testimony, medication, and walking. RUM: How important is a support system to your mental wellness? KEVIN: Support system is one of the most important tools to have because nobody can do this alone. Everyone needs to know that they are not alone and having the right support system helps you with your healing process. RUM: What would you say to a man who is struggling with life challenges and feel like giving up? KEVIN: If you are struggling today please know that this struggle is preparing you for your purpose and everything you asked for. Please stay encouraged I not telling you it gets better because it sounds good I am telling you it gets better because after 22 failed suicide attempts I know from experience that it can and will get better.
Contact Info: Photo credit: John Storey
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Kevin Berthia Foundation : kevinberthiafoundation@gmail.com : 510.414.8662
MENtal Health By: Kionne White
M
ental health is very important to me. As a young man speaking to other young men, how we feel about ourselves impacts every aspect of our lives. Many people never show any signs of internal conflict to the public, mainly because men who express emotions are often viewed as being weak. Therefore, to the world we seem fine even when that is not the case. Personally, for a long time I was happy, and things seemed to be going well. Everyone knew me for having an upbeat spirit, especially in college. Then, my family experienced some challenges and things changed for me. I began to change. At that time, it was rare that others would know that something was bothering me unless I spoke about it. At one point, I was going through it. I was feeling angry, disappointed, hurt, and confused about decisions that adults in my life were making. I didn’t understand how to manage what I was feeling. Trying to deal with things on my own, I started having thoughts that I never thought I would have. I knew that I needed to find a way to express what I was feeling or I was going to lose myself. The only person who noticed was my mom. She saw me changing and spoke to me about it. It is helpful when someone sees us and can offer understanding to the words that we do not know how to speak. The power of communication affords us the opportunity to speak, to be understood, and to understand others. Communication is much more than two people talking to one another. Sometimes I have a hard time expressing myself to others because I am not a talkative person, especially when I feel down. I communicate most effectively through music. Music is a creative and safe space for me that gives me the freedom to be me. In that space, I create language through my lyrics. If you are someone who wants to communicate but you have a hard time, find a creative way to get your words out. It could be any positive expression. Examples are music, poetry (which can be another form of music), dancing, art, or even creating custom apparel. Many young men experience mental health challenges. In my opinion, society has it wrong. Speaking about mental health is not weak, it is the exact opposite. It takes an incredible amount of strength to acknowledge when help is needed and to ask for support. The conversation about men and mental health needs to be normalized. I am standing in solidarity with other young men, especially black men, and giving voice to our need for mental health support. We also need safe spaces to share what we are experiencing. Safe spaces include, but are not limited to consistent spaces, honest, kind, compassionate, and empathetic people who withhold judgement and want to understand others’ experiences. We need support and someone who is willing to listen because a little support can save many lives.
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LOVE AND MENTAL HEALTH
UNDERSTANDING
MAN, MY
RELATIONSHIP
& HIS MENTAL
HEALTH By: TJ Woodard
Photo Credit by: Pexels anthony shkraba
A
day in the life of a man, I could never understand. A day in the life of a black man is even more difficult to try to comprehend. We think as women we have the challenges of life to face but men experience a different type of struggle. They are taught to be tough, strong, not to cry or be sensitive while facing pressures that we could never imagine. They too feel like they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders in a world that seems to pile the weight on even the more. They must be protectors, providers, fathers, husbands, employee, friend, always putting their best foot forward and yet they too experience life’s stressors, love, loss, grief, just like the rest of us; some lacking the courage to let the world or others into the other side of what really goes on inside the life and mind of a man. This as a fear of how it would be perceived by the world and the people who say they love them. Now that we’ve touched on the day in the life of a man, I ask you to take a peek into the day and life of the man in your life. This could be your father, your husband, your son, family member, or your friend. Think about your relationship with them. Do you notice the changes in their behavior after a long day at work? How about after they have experienced heartache, highs and then lows?
Can you read behind the false sense of mental stability or the reflection of strength behind their weary eyes? I must admit that initially I was not the best in this area, and I still have work to do. As I think back to the men that have come into my life; the ones who have come and gone and the ones who remain, I can recall times where I misunderstood the true emotion behind my man, my son, my friend, and those I care for were revealing. If being honest, I can remember having specific thoughts about those who may have even been a little “too sensitive” or “too emotional”. This reflects my lack of understanding the emotional needs of a man and the space they need to feel free to share and release just as we as women expect. Fast forward to today, we are seeing more and more men speak out about their mental health. Celebrities, influencers, and the men that surround us are becoming more comfortable being honest about their mental health needs and the importance of seeing a professional therapist or counselor when the world seems too much to bear. Men in my circle have expressed how their mental health matters and the proactive ways they are managing daily. Some have made going to the gym a daily routine and an outlet for release. Others have shared how they
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have incorporated therapy as a staple in their lives. This is definitely an improvement, but the fight is not over yet. The conversation must continue and even in a greater way. There are still people who don’t believe that they have a place that they can go comfortably where they can be transparent about their mental health. There are still many who are suffering in silence and even more who believed that suicide was the best way to end their pain and suffering. We can appreciate where we have come but it is not the time to relax and let our guards down. It is time to check on our men and the relationships we have. Women, I encourage you to look at your man and/or the men in your life, your relationships and then think about their mental health and be intentional in identifying specific needs and how to address them. I know I have adopted this in my own relationships. As I grow in this area, I do my best to pay more attention to the man (men in my life) and provide a safe space for him (them) to release or share without judgement or criticism. I am learning to acknowledge what their needs are and provide support the best way that I can. I am committed to doing better and being better for my man, my relationship, and OUR overall mental health.
The Benefits of Adult Coloring: 1. Relieve Stress. Useful for for those who suffer from constant anxiety or experience anxiety as a side effect of disorders like PTSD or depression. 2. Self Soothe. Self soothing during a period of trauma is essential to coping, and many are finding that coloring helps combat tough experiences without getting wrapped up in the accompanying emotions. 3. Build Mental Strength. Coloring is so efficient in activating the cerebral cortex that the pastime can delay or prevent illnesses associated with aging, like dementia. 4. Exercise the Mind. Coloring is considered a good ‘mind exercise’ because it utilizes both sides of the brain’s cerebral cortex. 5. Easy Way to Relax & Have Some Simple Fun. Coloring has evolved from a children’s pastime to a legitimate form of therapy and meditation.
Be GR8 Today All Day Everyday!
Make Your Purchase at www.gr8clothingline.com Use Code RALLYUP & 15% will be donated to We Fight Foundation Inc. to help them FIGHT for Mental Wellness & Suicide Prevention. : www.gr8clothingline.com : @gr8clothingline : GR8 Clothing Line : 2022772934
BEAUTY SECTION
UNCOVERING THAT “GOOD LOOKING” By: TJ Woodard
MAN
W
e all have heard the phrase when we look good, we feel good. This is a true statement, however there is a twist to this as well. We are hearing more and more people, especially men, speak out about their mental health and how some of us have been “looking good” but not necessarily feeling good. Many of us have masked our outer appearance with nice apparel, beautiful makeup while giving a false reflection of what is truly going on inside. As women, we put out our makeup, get our hair done, put on some nice clothes and that perfect smile and no one would ever know what is truly going on inside. I’m not sure it is that easy for men. I believe men have had to “look good” but not feel good on a different level than women. I say this because since birth, men have been taught to be strong, not to cry, not to show emotion and this is what has been causing men to internalize their feelings and impact their mental health. They have been carrying the weight of the world and their pain without a safe place to release. Some of the things often said to men causing them to “look good” even when they are not looking good are statements like: Man Up Suck it up Stop being weak You’re acting like a girl
I’m sure there are more statements that are far worse than these. If you are a man who has been told these things then I
want to say to you, I get it. I get why you are hurting. I get why you are broken. I get why you have been carrying pain fearful to release. I want to apologize to any man I may have said these words to out of ignorance because it is not fair, nor is it true. If you are a man who is “looking good” but not feeling good, I say, we hear you. We see you. It’s time to “look good” and start feeling good but there is going to be some work required on your part. Remove the Mask: Acknowledgement Men Wear Mask Too: It may not come in the form of a full beat face makeup application, but it can be a smile. Men mask hurt and pain behind a smile without sometimes a hint to what is really going on in their world. It’s time to remove the mask and acknowledge that although you may look like you have it all together on the outside, that there are some things you are dealing with on the inside. Faith: It Improves Mental Health Connecting spiritually and believing in something greater than yourself can make all the difference in the world. Prayer
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and meditation help me when I am feeling overwhelmed. Quiet time and meditation allow for time to exhale the heaviness and inhale strength needed to get through the day. Affirmations also help. Talk about how good you look, how strong you are, how healthy you feel and BELIEVE IT! Connection is Key: Talk It Out There is no shame in asking for help. Now that you have acknowledged looking good but not feeling good, connecting to resources will help you in your steps as you move forward in genuinely matching how you look with how you feel. This is the way you begin to move forward being your true, authentic self. Speaking with a professional provides an unbiased resource and a listening ear. They also provide practical strategies and ways to manage the things that life throws your way. An accountability person or group you can trust is also a good way to connect. This will help you see that you are not the only one that is going through life’s challenges. Accountability partners will also help to keep you on track with your goals. Lean on your support system. Self-Care: Be a Creature of Habit Self-Care is going to be a big part of your journey. Creating a regular self-care routine is going to help with your mental health. Learn what things you like that can give you the opportunity to unplug from the stressors of life giving you time to recharge your emotional, spiritual, and physical battery. Good hygiene and grooming can impact your mood, build confidence, and can create a routine that will help you on your mental wellness journey. Here are some suggestions:
Schedule a monthly massage or spa day (Yes, men go to the spa too) Take a Staycation (Book an overnight stay at a local hotel or plan an overnight quiet time at home) Book a grooming appointment day (Get a haircut, manicure, facial, or buy a new outfit) Exercise (Go for a walk, jog, run, or join a gym but get out and get moving) Maintain a healthier lifestyle (Meal prep, schedule a physical) These are just a few ways to improve your physical health as well as your mental health. Now don’t get me wrong, none of us feel good every day and I’m not saying that you won’t have days where you're not feeling your best. I am saying that you want to be honest about how you feel no matter what and take time for personal self-care. It can help boost your confidence and help you to focus on what is most important…YOU!
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PODCAST We are happy to share some of the podcasts we find authentic, breaking down those barriers, and breaking through those stigmas through overdue conversations. Mental health and inspirational podcasts has rescued many, tackling those difficult topics like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, suicidal ideations, and much more! As a result, they make listeners who are struggling and/or in pain feel as if they are not alone. We feel it is a great way to gain greater awareness of mental health conditions, and can also help give sufferers validation and a sense of being. The power of storytelling in podcasts can be a good tool to assist in coping with a mental health problems and to help one evolved. It’s relatable and the listener can easily identify with someone else who is going through something similar. We believe mental health and inspirational podcasts can be used in conjunction with other therapies in treatment, and it can really help individuals on their healing journey.
What are you listening too? Tell us what podcasts you’re finding useful. Send them to rallyupmagazine@gmail.com.
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
MARK A. HARRISON
It's About Us, which represents the journey that we ALL take to maintain a mentally stable relationship with not only ourselves but with other as well
S
aving Our Kings was created in 2020 to provide information, support and resources about mental health within the black and brown community, more importantly to create a safe space for men to talk. As a survivor of Mental Illness and one who has attempted 2 failed suicide attempts, I found it important share my story and struggles letting black men know that "It's okay not to be okay" and how we as people need to Stop the Stigma assoicated with mental illness and seek professional help. With the lost of a close friend to suicide I realized the importance of seeking professional help to address my own mental illness struggles. I now have that support system, be it counseling, close friends, and learning what my triggers are has afforded me the ability to adapt and relieve pressures of feeling of being overwhelmed. In short I say to everyone who asks: Therapy Works! Men will talk about their mental health issues, but before we do, we must feel comfortable, we are in a non-judgemental environment, and trust plays a very important factor. Once we have this we will talk, however, remember as young boys growing up we are taught to keep our emotions inside, by doing this we bring the issues or lack of communication into adulthood. For men it's truly the trust factor and the ability of being heard without judgement. If a King is reading this, I would say - therapy is for you, knowone else. We tend to glorify everything on social media looking for acceptance, let's accept the fact that we all have issues, some childhood trauma that has never been addressed. Knowone needs to know your seeking or attending therapy - It's for you and About You stop worrying what the next person is doing. For those men who are raising young "kings" it's time that we stop the generational curse. I look forward to my therapy sessions, it's like a wait that has been lifted off of me. I have also learned, when I'm vulnerable and provide that "safe space" many walls have come down.
RUM: HOW DID SAVING OUR KINGS COME ABOUT? HARRISON: Saving Our Kings was created in 2020 to provide information, support and resources about mental health within the black and brown community, more importantly to create a safe space for men to talk. RUM: WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF BEING A PART OF YOUR ORGANIZATION? HARRISON: I found it important to share my story and struggles letting black men know that "It's okay not to be okay" and how we as people need to Stop the Stigma associated with mental illness and seek professional help. RUM: AS WE KNOW, MEN HAVE A HARD TIME ADMITTING THAT THEY ARE HAVING MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES, HOW DO YOUR ORGANIZATION ASSIST MEN WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH?
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HARRISON: Men will talk about their mental health issues, but before we do, we must feel comfortable, we are in a non-judgemental environment, and trust plays a very important factor.
RUM: WHAT’S NEXT FOR SAVING OUR KINGS? HARRISON: Saving Our Kings is currently working with The Department of Behavioral Health, and Volunteers of America tof Prince George's County to include local celebrities and radio and print media formats releasing a radio and video spot on the importance of seeking mental health treatment during the holidays season, and a Mental Health Expo during the month of May for Mental Health Awareness Month. RUM: WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO A MAN WHO IS STRUGGLING WITH LIFE CHALLENGES AND FEEL LIKE GIVING UP? HARRISON: If a King is reading this, or a parent of a young King: I would say - therapy is for you, knowone else. We tend to glorify everything on social media looking for acceptance, let's accept the fact that we all have issues, some childhood trauma that has never been addressed. Knowone needs to know your seeking or attending therapy - It's for you and About You stop worrying what the next person is doing. For those men who are raising young "kings" it's time that we stop the generational curse. I look forward to my therapy sessions, it's like a wait that has been lifted off of me. I have also learned, when I'm vulnerable and provide that "safe space" many walls have come down. : WWW.SAVINGOURKINGS.COM
UNPLUGGED
EDITED By: Lex Morgan
crolling through social media timelines often feels like a perfect distraction from life’s ups and downs. A quick check-in to see how “everyone” is doing can turn into story after story and reel after reel. Before long, hours have gone by, and we’ve been sucked into an illusion of photoshopped images of “perfect” lives and what can seem like an endless cycle of comparison and judgment. Who is doing better? Who is doing worse? How far have they climbed up the success ladder, and how quickly? This is just a small sample of internal chatter that encourages us to log on and tap into the lives and experiences of others. Designer labels, cars, houses, successful careers, perfect relationships, and people who appear to be performing well in all areas of life -- I mean, they
are WINNING! How is everyone else doing this? There must be something wrong with us. We must not have figured out the secret to happiness; just another trip down the “Not Enough” rabbit hole. You are probably familiar with this hole. It’s the place where thoughts like, “I must not be pretty, smart, connected, worthy, wealthy, popular enough. The “Not Enough” list goes on and on, but one thing remains sure -- comparison and judgment in these spaces are not only destructive but are unloving to ourselves. There is more to the story than what we see. Often what we don’t see are the hundreds of pictures required to get that one shot; the hours in a make-up chair being painted and airbrushed; and the self-doubt that fuels a relentless appetite for validation and approval from strangers. We don’t see the tears shed just before those “perfect” moments were captured. There is hope. How long has it been since you practiced unplugging completely? No scrolling. No checking for likes or comments. No initiating or responding to text messages. What would you accomplish if you unplugged for an hour? If you’re struggling to think of something that
you could achieve in just 60 minutes, I’ll share a few ideas with you: Add content to your favorite playlist! Design a cozy space in your home! Move your body! Research an activity that interests you and schedule it! Read a chapter in a book -- yep, just one! Shred documents that are no longer needed! Each of us can create a life that we look forward to living. Planning self-care in small doses can go a long way to our overall well-being. We will schedule work, school, exams, extracurricular activities, family events, etc. Somehow, the most important person on our entire list of plans is last on the list of priorities. What if you looked at your calendar right now -- yes, right now -- and scheduled a day, time, and duration to unplug? Then, what if you planned a day, time, and duration to celebrate yourself for taking that decisive step towards self-care and self-love? Give yourself space to rejuvenate. Unplug from the world and charge the batteries of your mind, body, and spirit. After all, you are worthy of wellness.
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BEAUTY SECTION
RADIANT BEAUTY CORNER The definition of radiance is as followed
ra•di•ance
noun 1. 1. light or heat as emitted or reflected by something."the radiance of the sunset dwindled. To be naturally radiant is a practiced mindset and lifestyle. That flow that everyone talks about is beyond physical appearance. It is an actual feeling that then reflects or shines from the inside out. Tapping into your radiance is about cultivating tools and oments of joy that build in an upward bound designed to assist when obstacles arise. It is the difference between the action of responding oppose to reacting. I had a conversation with with a close male friend/ brother and who was hurting. His feelings were hurt and he just wanted to heal, and heal fast. We talked about the issue and how he felt. I lended my ear and offered no advice and minimal suggestions. I only want the pour encouragement and positivity. Well as the conversation went on I Life happens is beyond a figure of speech, it’s the truth. When it does happen you can find yourself out of sorts and a lot of times off track. The lesson is to build yourself up so that when life happens you get back on track towards achieving your goal, whatever they are. Welcome to The Radiant Corner. The place where we do all things to help you tap into your radiance, which allows room for growth and glow. Everything beauty wellness from traveling, drawing, movement, electric foods and more. Stay tune.
Keeping you Naturally Radiant xo, Nekesa J. Smith
SPECIAL FEATURE
MAYOR JOHNATHAN
M. MEDLOCK CHALLENGING BEHAVIORAL HEALTH IN THE COMMUNITY By: Tyi Flood
I
had the pleasure of catching up with the Mayor of District Heights, Maryland, Mr. Johnathan M. Medlock. A man with many hats; he is a legislative chair for Maryland Black Mayors, honorary member/former director of 100 Black Men of Prince George’s County, Maryland, Behavioral Health Ambassador for Prince George’s County, Maryland, and soon the revenue authority for Prince George’s County, MD.
Mayor Medlock and I first met during a community clean-up event that he hosted alongside Black Women Connexting Communities podcast. What I remembered the most was his passion and transparency as it relates to mental health. It was mostly young, black men who volunteered for this clean-up, and you could tell that he was extremely proud to lead this team. Towards the end of the clean-up, when we all gathered for Q&A, Mayor Medlock encouraged the volunteers to acknowledge their feelings about depression and what they see in the world today. It really showed his advocacy about mental wellness, along with his love and passion for giving back to the young people, which stood out to me immensely as a mother of a 12-year-old black boy. “These are my babies; that’s what I call these young people because they’re watching me. They’re seeing what I’m doing, so I live by the mantra, what they see is what they be, and I make sure to model myself within that light. I’m not just telling them what I do, but they are seeing what I do. I live the behavior of what our young men need to see. One of the ways I live in my purpose for my babies is by giving them something to look forward to. I wake up every day with a purpose. I die to the night and I resurrect the next day to do something different.” His connection to the young people and community goes way back as a young man and father in Savannah, Georgia. Mayor Medlock is a father of two sons, Christian (30) and Messiah (19). Being a father at an early age gave him the responsibility to grow up fast and learn how it was to be a leader.
“It was up to me to make sure that I took care of my sons; which included their mental health, security, and education. Once I moved to P.G. County, I’ve been blessed to live in my purpose by helping others all over the globe. I worked with the Department of Defense, started an activist organization, and then worked with grassroot organizations alongside pan-Africans and nationalists.” We all know that having a positive perspective on life is healthy for our mental health, but as someone who lives with depression and anxiety, it’s just not that easy. Some days it’s extremely challenging to come up with words of affirmations just to get through the day. Another challenge is being able to get over the day before and wake up with a renewed spirit. That’s why it’s important to align yourself with therapy, coping techniques, and a supportive circle. “You must go through something to understand it. Even with my perspective of saying that every day is a resurrection, sometimes I still go to bed depressed. When I had my first anxiety attack, which culminated in a panic attack; I immediately wondered what in the world was going on. As a man, a black man, you must cope and adjust on your own. You couldn’t show fear or ask questions. As I went through that process, I focused on my mother’s spirit to guide me, and I began to educate myself on what I was dealing with. I changed my perspective to change my life. I had no choice; either change or die.
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While in the community every day, understanding his mental health allowed him to understand the people he was serving and leading. During his time of recovery and rediscovery, he began to realize that he wasn’t alone. “I started noticing other people around me who were also dealing with anxiety and depression. It’s so easy to tell when others are going through what you’ve been through, and that’s why it’s important to speak life into people. You just don’t know what they’re dealing with day-to-day.” People don’t realize the impact that being a leader has on your mental health. Those that work with us or as our employees seem to feel that we’re not human, and that we don’t have the same issues or concerns that they do because of our role. This is just not true. I know that in my managerial positions, it took me being open with my team to prove that I was “one of them”. As Commissioner and Mayor, he spoke on how his transparency about his mental health allowed him to be respected as a man, but also how it allowed him to be respected as a leader. “One of the things that I did was I started talking about it. I’ve always been in a leadership position, and some people have always looked to me as not being like them. They would assume that I’m not going through the hurt and pain, so I had to tell my story. I talk about my anxiety and depression, making them understand that yes, I may be smiling and social out in public, but sometimes when I go home…whew!” As a Behavioral Ambassador for Prince George’s County, Mayor Medlock uses this platform to tell his story, unapologetically. He’s able to show his community how he’s been able to make history and advances in his life, despite his mental health. “I can show you the doctor's notes and the scars. The layers are like an onion.” These layers are also revealed within close relationships. One story that he shared was about a previous relationship with an ex-girlfriend who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This relationship made him want to learn more about the disorder and to use his platform to further educate others about various mental health conditions.
“Yes, it’s about patience, education, and genuine love. You must invest in that person that you say you love. It’s also about self-love. How I view myself may be controversial, but I believe in God. When I had that self-revelation; I looked in the mirror and finally saw God. It changed my life to see myself as a true representation of God. For those men who are still learning their identity; be you and unapologetically you. It’s a big challenge to look in that mirror and thank God.” It’s a responsibility of a Mayor to lead our community, but it’s also their responsibility to ensure that each member of that community has a fair chance to excel. This is through economic and educational resources, but mental health should also be an important factor when building our community. We must acknowledge the role that mental health plays in many households and even with those living on the streets. One thing that we constantly fight is the stigma around mental health. This stigma can be seen on job applications, in police enforcement, and even within certain legislative roles. “I’ve had people question how I could be a Mayor or leader if I live with depression and anxiety. I admit, sometimes we do have to acknowledge that some conditions are disabling, but there are ways to manage and help assist those who are living with these conditions. This is one of the things that I’ve worked on with policies as it relates to employee relations. What I’m trying to do is fight for you and for us to make sure that we’re taking care of ourselves. This also involved me letting go of police officers who didn’t have the proper training to police the community appropriately. Now they must have proper training, which includes mental health training. It’s up to us to change the narrative to create a better environment for our children and families.”
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HEALTH & MENTAL WELLNESS
FITNESS IMPROVES MENTAL HEALTH
A
BY: DR. SOLOMON TENTION
s men we must make our mental health a priority! According to the American Psychological Association (2015), 9% of men have feelings of anxiety or depression on a daily basis; 1 in 3 of these men took medication because of these feelings and 1 in 4 spoke to a mental health professional about it. I believe that as men we are called to serve in purpose, and as a LEADers within our families, our workplaces, and the surrounding communities. I also believe that as men our purpose extends to LEAD in the breaking of many of the generational curses associated with poverty, trauma, fatherlessness, etc. that may exist within our environment and or family tree. While some may see some of these responsibilities as a heavy weight, I also believe that we can’t function in any of those roles “well” if we don’t first prioritize our mental health. Taking care of your health includes both your body and your mind. They're connected, and both need to be in shape, and I have found that engaging in some form of daily fitness each day can be a big step towards improving your mental health. Like most of the world, I took some time during the early quarantine stages of the pandemic to elevate and reflect on self. I reflected on what I needed, to be the best version of myself as a man and as a leader in purpose each week. I knew I needed to find the necessary balance to “lean” into every season of my life. After hiring a trainer, I went from working out twice a week for an hour to now daily at 6:00AM, incorporating running at nearby trails, hiking, and boxing into some of the fitness activities I enjoy. Not only did I begin to see a physical transformation, but also in other areas of life such as self-confidence and a healthier balance of endorphins. Throughout my now 1.5-year fitness journey, I’ve learned that my daily time in the gym requires commitment, patience and an understanding of what I am putting my body through, and subsequently these are some of the same approaches that I have taken to better improve/maintain my overall mental health. The gym or what I like to refer to as the “lab” is a place where I can disconnect from the day-to-day grind. It’s been a place where God meets me daily to provide peace, clarity, and focus to tackle the demands of being a black man in today’s society, college administrator, professor, and entrepreneur; and it will serve the same space in my life when I add the roles of husband and father. As men we all need our form of a “mancave”, and I encourage other men who are serious about their mental health to consider what role fitness can serve in your overall self-care and wellness plan. Reference: American Psychological Association. (2015). UPFRONT By the numbers Men and depression. Monitor on Psychology, 46(11), 13.
www.linktr.ee/drsolomontention (LNKTr) : @dr.solomontention : @dr.solomontention
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THE GREEN PAGES
Resources Saundre Allen, LCSW
Shamanda Burston Therapist/Cinematherapy Shamanda.Burston@gmail.com www.ShamandaBurston.com
ATLANTA
CALIFORNIA
Psychologist and ADHD Specialist Hammond Psychology & Associates, Supports parents of children dealing with ADHD. DrNekeshiaHammond.com Dr.NHammond@gmail.com
Online community providing information for those looking for a place to find healing. www.myeverydaybeing.com mjones@myeverydaybeing.com 202-957-7499 Founder, Marisa Jone
FLORIDA
Alicia-Ann Samuel, LMHC,NCC
FLORIDA
CALIFORNIA
The Butterfly Effect Therapy & Wellness Tamara Blackledge Burr The Butterfly Effect Therapy & Wellness provides individual and family therapy 18+. My goal is to provide a therapeutic environment where you are free to be your authentic self without fear of judgment. I will help you grow through your struggles, heal from your pain, and push forward to where you want to be in life. www.butterflyhealing.net www.facebook.com/ButterflyEffectTherapy
DESIGNED FOR ROYALTY
A nonprofit providing mentorship for at risk male and females youth and young adults to nurture their mental health in hope to reduce the risky behaviors, self-harm, selfmedicating or sadly suicide. www.wefightfoundation.org
(Queen/King/Princess Series) A mentorship program for women and men between the ages of 7-25. For more information: info@tamikawoodard.com www.tamikawoodard.com
MARYLAND
MARYLAND
TAKE MY HAND
ALEXIS ALTON
Mark A. Harrison Mental Health Advocate for Men Certified Mental Health First Aid Trainer Founder of Saving Our Kings www.savingourkings.com Savingourkings52@gmail.com
Help clients heal from trauma and empower them to tap into their infinite God-given potential. www.vanitydawson.com Info@vanitydawson.com Founder: Vanity Dawson
Been working with children, adults and families for more than 15 years improving behaviors, relationships, educating, and providing therapeutic support and families. www.alexisalton.com alexis@alexisalton.com
MARYLAND
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. www.empirecounseling.net
WE FIGHT FOUNDATION
Therapeutically Beautiful LLC
Individual Counseling, Infant and young children mental health + family counseling, Child-Parent Psychotherapy, Parenting training, Circle of Security. www.therapeuticallybeautiful.com : @therapeuticallybeautiful
PATRICE N DOUGLAS, LMFT, CAMS-I
DR. NEKESHIA HAMMOND
Everyday Being
COLORADO
Queens N' Therapy, LLC Queens N' Therapy offers a place for black women to heal from anxiety, depression and trauma. We understand that race and gender create different stressors and needs for Black women. We specialize in making therapy sessions conversational and down to earth. Our goal is to help black women curate and sustain a life they love. www.queensntherapy.com IG @queensntherapy
MARYLAND
MARYLAND
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GREEN PAGES Dr. Jeffrey Harris, Ph.D
UPLIFT KINGS Support for Men Mental Health
Mental Health Counselor Founder of Balanced Healing www.balancedheal.com 321-324-6141 drharris@balancedheal.com Specializes in Children's Therapy, adolescent, individual, couples, and family counseling.
upliftingkings20@gmail.com @letsupliftkings
MARYLAND
KENDRA HATHAWAY, MA, FLE, LMFT
Positivetransformationpllc@gmail.com.
(586) 551-2757
MICHIGAN
AMANDA FLUDD, LCSW-R
C.A.C.T.U.S. CENTER
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Notably with African American women and young adults who are looking to improve their lives.
MICHIGAN
CALEB'S KIDS An impactful suicide prevention and mental health awareness non-profit. Founder & Exec. Director: Keisha Jackson. www.calebskids.org info@calebskids.org
NEW JERSEY
Treating issues such as anger management, oppositional defiant disorder, anxiety, depression, sexual deviance through individual and family counseling. www.cactuscenternj.com cactuscenternj@gmail.com
Afro Caribbean Clinical Social Worker Trauma Treatment, DBT, Mindfulness Practice Kensho Psychotherapy Services, LLC. 41a W Merrick Rd #2, Valley Stream, NY 11580
NEW YORK
TOTALITY OF A WOMAN
NEW YORK
Organization that takes a 360-degree approach focusing on the wellness of women, me and children. www.TotalityofaWoman.com Info@TotalityofaWomen.com TotalityofaWomen@gmail.com Founder, Stephanie Carnegie
NEW YORK
NORTH CAROLINA
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Tamara Dopwell Trauma Informed Counseling for adults. www.letstalkaboutitinc.com
NORTH CAROLINA
RWENSHAUN MILLER, MA, LPCA, NCC Licensed Therapist Dedicated to making mental health treatment more accessible; especially for males of color. www.rwenshaun.com info@rwenshaun.com
Peace and Prosperity Professional Coaching Jason Phillips, MSW Licensed Therapist and Life Coach. www.pnpcoach.com info@pncoach.com
Let’s Talk About It
BLACK MENTAL WELLNESS CORP. Evidence-based information and resources about mental health and behavioral health topics from a Black perspective. www.blackmentalwellness.com info@BlackMentalWellness.com
Katrina Leggins, LCSW
OKLAHOMA
K. Nicole Writing, LLC Specialize: I use the CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) approach a lot and I work with many individuals who battle with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and life challenges. www.knicolewriting.com/
WASHINGTON, D.C.
We Fight Together!
RallyUp Mental Health Magazine is a product of We Fight Foundation Inc. is a nonprofit providing mentorship for at risk youths and young adults (12-24 yrs) to nurture their mental health in hope to reduce the risky behaviors, self-harm, self-medicating or sadly suicide. Proceeds will assist families of underserved communities with therapy sessions, mental health workshops, resources and soon housing. JOIN OUR FIGHT TO #RALLYUP2SAVELIVES
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YOU
ARE
ENOUGH. 2 CORINTHIANS 12:9
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