ARE YOU AT RISK?

Passive vs. Active Suicidal Thoughts

By: Tynesha ‘Tyi’ Flood

Have you ever had one of those moments where you’re driving your car and you imagine that it rolls off of a bridge, thoughts about going to bed and not waking up, or just random thoughts about being completely done with life that you didn’t care if you survived another moment. These thoughts can be constant, or they can be triggered by certain upsets in your life, such as losing a loved one, divorce, or losing a job. You’ve thought about not living on this earth, yet, don’t have the nerve or true interest in actually taking your own life. This is called passive suicidal ideation. The idea of dying is something that sits in your spirit, but you have no intention to act on these thoughts.

I’ve had plenty of moments like this-- even since a young age. My thoughts normally came after a major trigger or when dealing with a disappointment that left me asking God, “why me?” I still have those moments of feeling unworthy or just plain tired of living another day. Let’s be real, life IS hard. It’s even harder when you’re living with a mental health condition. Whether depression, PTSD, anxiety, or Bipolar disorder, you’re in a constant state of mind that life just sucks.

It’s also important to listen to those closest to you when they make mention of not wanting to be here any longer. Understand that although you say it and don’t take it as far as committing the act of suicide, there may be someone close to you who could follow through. Every suicidal thought must be taken seriously. Regardless of the intentions, thoughts of suicide are considered a high risk for suicide. Here are a few warning signs of someone who’s suicidal or having passive suicidal ideation (National Suicide Prevention, 2019): • Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves • Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain • Talking about being a burden to others • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs • Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly • Sleeping too little or too much

The interesting thing is that you feel an ounce of guilt when facing suicide ideation; wondering what so-and-so would think OR just feeling bad about wanting to leave loved ones behind. It’s completely normal. YOU are completely normal. Another thing that’s normal and essential when dealing with thoughts like this is to get help. Yes, you may say, “well I’m not really going to take my life,” but honestly suicide ideation can become very dangerous. There can always be that one day that you have the nerve or have completely reached your breaking point in life. Talking through the issues can help you identify the triggers and will also help you not turn the thoughts into reality.

• Withdrawing or isolating themselves • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge • Extreme mood swings

If you know someone who’s exhibiting these signs, here are a few things to consider when communicating with them:

DO’s • Let them know that you care. Be sincere and let them know you’re here to help • Listen. Allow them to vent, cry, and completely unload without interruption. • Offer hope. Reassurance is a great way to let a person know that they are important to you. • Take them seriously. Evaluate and determine the best resource for immediate help.

DON’Ts • Argue/Pass Judgement. The worst thing you can do is talk down on someone or judge them based on religious beliefs. • Lecture them on how YOU think they should feel. You can’t tell someone how they should feel; yes, you may understand certain parts of their pain, but you don’t know what they’re going through. • Make promises on fixing their problems or promise confidentiality. Never make promises! This is something that can/will backfire if not kept. Speak up and tell authorities if it’s severe. • Blame yourself. Although you want to help someone, you may not always succeed. Don’t take it as a personal failure.

If you or anyone you know is showing warning signs, contact your physician immediately. We must show compassion instead of ignoring the situation or the person that is hurting. There is no room to act angry or shocked that a person is having suicidal thoughts. Suicide is NOT about ending your life; it’s about a desper

ate measure to end the pain and the hurt.

By: Tynesha ‘Tyi’ Flood