Love & Mental Health

Meet this Power Couple ... Tanzania & Craig!

... also known as Chuck & Coop|Mental Health Warriors

Tanzania and Craig first started dating, they expressed their deepest dark secrets to each other. The things that were expressed had never been told to anyone or maybe just a few people. Tanzania was still battling issues with her skin. Craig always expressed how much he loved her skin. He always encouraged her to wear clothes that showed her beautiful skin. When she went to the Dominican Republic, Tanzania kept asking him how she would look and if she should wear a two-piece swimsuit, shorts, and mini-dresses. He encouraged her as much as he could and when she started posting pictures of her skin, it made him feel really good. He knew that she was still trying to overcome those thoughts in her mind and he was so proud of her. Tanzania has helped Craig battle some things that had led to his depression. He was still fighting a mental battle. They never judged each other and accepted each other for who they are. They have really deep conversations that may not always be easy to talk about. However, the trust and safe space has allowed them to become closer. They recently got engaged last year on December 25th. The key to their relationship is honesty, trust, communication, and lots of love.

Sometimes, we think that we are the problem but really it’s not us. It’s that thing that was holding us back that was the issue. It was the other people involved that was the issue. It was the thoughts that was in our head that became the issue. We are no longer bound to our past. We are mentally free and it feels good.

: @chunk_and_coop

My name is Tanzania Fair. My nickname is “chunk”. I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan. I grew up in a single family home. My father got killed at the age of 22 years old when I was only 8 months. By the age of 10 years old, I wanted to be a dancer. I could dance so well. My passion was to dance on TV for famous people and at concerts. When I watched B.E.T videos, I never seen a dark skin girl that looked like me. It made me feel like I had to change my appearance to be accepted in the dance world. My self-esteem got shattered by the music videos, media, and magazines. It got shattered by family members treating light skin family members better than the darker skin. It got shattered by me not hearing “you’re beautiful” enough. It got shattered by me feeling invisible when I was around my family. It got shattered by high school boys who didn’t even know the effect that it had on me.

In 10th grade, I experienced colorism. I lied to my mom about me needing some cream to even my skin tone out and she let me get it. I saved up my $25.00 from shampooing hair at my mother’s salon to buy some skin bleaching cream. The light spots started to spread all over my face, arms, chest, legs, stomach, and back. I told myself that no one could see my skin like this. I would spend 2-4 hours literally trying to find something to wear. I started to slowly sink into depression. I started to cover up my body every single day even during the hot summer days. It would be hot outside and I would have some jeans or leggings with a half Jacket or long sleeve shirt and some shoes on. You would NEVER catch me showing my skin because I knew in my head that my skin wasn’t like that. This is why it was messing with my mind even more. When it happened, my world flipped upside down.

My freshman year in college I was literally contemplating on killing myself in my dorm room but a voice from God came over me and stopped me from doing it. I just knew that it was no point for me to live anymore. I had already messed my life up and there was no way I could change it. There was no way I can go back and look “normal”. The negative voices inside my head kept me feeling sad, depressed, isolated, and even having suicidal thoughts. I isolated myself from my friends and family. I was sinking. I was mentally gone. I was just like “man if I off myself, the world would be a better place”. I wouldn’t have to worry about my skin issue. I felt like I did this to myself and I can’t change what happened to my skin. I was ashamed of my skin which made me self-hate myself. It was so deep that I would dream that I was another person. I couldn’t even picture my own face. I could never look myself in the mirror because I blamed myself for what was happening to me. When I did, I was disgusted and hated seeing those light spots.

I wore shorts for the first time when I was 26 years old (2014). I wore a skirt for the first time when I was 27 years old (2015). I got the courage to go back to a dermatologist in 2018. They told me that it was a skin condition called Tinea Versicolor. The skin bleaching cream and the cortisone triggered it. I knew that my skin wasn’t like that before, so it drove me crazy mentally!

There were many times when I prayed God why me? God I pray these light spots go away? God I pray my skin goes back to “normal? Once I changed the voices inside my head into positive self-talk, everything else started to change within me and around me. It was what I said about myself that was killing me mentally. It took me many years to get through it, but now I’m mentally free. I started to do affirmations in the mirror every day. I told myself I was beautiful even when I didn’t feel like I was. I used journaling, dance, and poetry as an escape to get rid of the crazy thoughts. I had to really break the mental bondage that I was in. The voices in my head held me back from being my authentic self.

I started a women’s organization called Sistah Sistah's Entrepreneurs Network. This platform is to bring sistahs together to have these in-depth conversations. It is also to provide women with the resources that they need to get help. It is a safe space for women to grow, network, learn, and heal together. If I could have only been myself and expressed how I was feeling to my Sistah circle it would’ve helped me sooner.

: @iamqueentanz

My name is Craig Cooper. My nickname is “Coop”. I am from Maryland. Growing up, I was always an energetic kid. I was always smiling. That changed when I got to 3rd grade. I started to experience depression and self-hate. I was in a “regular” class and then I got put into a special education class because of my learning disability. I felt like that experience made me feel like I don’t belong around other people. I remember when I was in the 4th grade, and I was walking back to my class. The teachers always had the special education students come in the class 5 minutes later. The teacher mumbled under her breath and said “the retarded kids are coming”. I heard what she said and my face was in disbelief. She turned away and she saw me staring at her. I didn’t say anything. She didn’t acknowledge what she said to me. She didn’t apologize. I felt even worse after she made that statement. The reality of my mind was already defeated. This experience followed me all the way into my adult life. I felt incompetent because I kept hearing “the retarded kids are coming” in my mind. That voice wouldn’t go away. I felt like I couldn’t do anything. I felt like I couldn’t succeed in life. It shattered self-esteem. It started to make me hate myself. I wanted to be someone else. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. On top of that, other life experiences made me hate myself even more. The older I got, the worst the depression became. I felt like I didn’t want to be here. It was a feeling of wanting to leave this earth. I felt like no one would miss me and no one loved me Every morning I would wake up and cry. I would say “God why am I here?” Every morning it would take me an hour to get out the house. Sometimes I would get to the car and start crying. Then, I would have to go back in the house and try again. I remember this one particular day like it was yesterday. I was riding the train on my way to work and I started to cry. I had on sunglasses to hide my eyes. I felt like the devil was on my back saying “today is the day to kill yourself”.

I finally made it to work but the crying wouldn’t stop. I had lied to my job saying I was sick.So I could go home and kill myself. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror with pills in my hand and a death note. My eyes were filled with tears. As I stood in front of the mirror, all I could hear was negative voices in my head. It was saying “do it, no one loves you, you won’t be missed”. I started crying even more. I could hear my mom’s voice. My phone started to ring and it was my mom yelling “what’s wrong son?” I told her I’m hurting and I need help. I cried myself to sleep and later that day I talked to my mom.

I could see the pain in her eyes when I told her about my depression. She hugged me and told me that she loved me. She said “please don’t give up on life.” I felt there was a black cloud over my head 24/7. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t like the person I was. I didn’t like anything about

On April 30th, 2010, I walked in the gym for the first time. I had on a baggy shirt and pants. I looked around and I thought maybe I would like it here. I started to go on a regular basis and my results started to show. I started to lose weight and gain muscles. The gym became my safe haven. I begin to use self-care methods such as writing positive notes to myself and praying every morning. This saved my life. Then. I started to add mixed martial arts and tachi. I learned a lot from training. I learned how to be self-confident, take control of my life, and bea leader. I stand here today 10 years free from depression. I started my fitness company called Immortal Fitness and Motivation. This is a platform to not only workout but to motivate people who may have/ or is experiencing similar things I’ve been through.

: @heisdarksuperman