SCREAMS HEARD FROM BEHIND THE CHURCH

SCREAMS HEARD FROM BEHIND THE CHURCH G.O.H.N.

Stop lying to my face I can see it Your chest sunken Your hearts falling out Like all my good poems

Why did you set that church on fire Even if you survive this You can’t go back to the life you had before You considered your friends// lead them to slaughter Told your therapist about it Now you’re going to cancer support groups And the guy beside you says He has a bad taste in his mouth A crucifix giggles // you all go home happy Except you don’t go home Ever again

You wanted to kill yourself And come back from the dead Sweetheart I can’t do that again You only live twice But The devil is a cold hand With some good advice I’d still suggest going for a walk instead

There is a way to live with yourself Try giving it a little more christ Give it a name and then take it away Not Christ Not that face Take it away

There is a way to live with yourself Throw your hands in the air // Use your arms // Like swimming Propel your body into the sun

Come back from the sun Painted in gold leaf lavender scented stanzas Stories of mad men and gods Like You and I baby, We used to bury road kill in the forest behind my house We knew only how to love And there was still A lack

Every cat frozen to the forest floor Friends that did not make it to see Spring Their hearts were heavy I was sorry But now the lack Gives me a headache

Chaos punches a wall And I sleep uneasy

I’ve got a bloody nose from the spirituality I’ve been snorting I tried to share a bag with you Because you had that matchbox in your hand and all I didn’t want you to ruin your life again So I gave you a drug habit

I’m sorry as I watch you set another church on fire It was beautiful Golden Brighter than the goddamn sun We’re going to Hell soon

Except Only you go to hell You leave as I scream “Come back I’ll give you everything After you have lost something so infinite There is a house where we live We can hide I promise Our foxhole A place to hang our heads”

I know I’m leaving, so You can sacrifice my body now It’s not right, we are not doing the right thing but Believe me when I say that We just wanted to feel better