How To Write A Winning Humorous Speech

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How to find ideas for your speech topics How to make anything funny using 12 humor techniques How to self-edit your speech and give it the punch How to rehearse, deliver, and win Humorous speech checklist Speech videos, sample speeches, and speech analysis

Filled with lots of techniques, examples, and exercises, this book will unclog your brain and unleash the funny juice inside and let your funny ideas and words flow like water.

How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech is a no-nonsense guide that will teach you how to be funny even if you think you are not.

This book uses the latest technology to enhance your learning experience with audio and visuals. Use your smart phone to scan the QR code to take you instantly to a website or a web video recommended for your learning.

Finally, a Guide that Shows You Exactly how to craft your own humorous speech and win at speech contests!

Rank Books

There is nothing funny in this world! Someone made it funny for you to laugh. Stop searching for something funny. Stop complaining that you have no ideas for a speech and you can’t write a funny line. What you need is right before your eyes. Start using this book and start making something funny today!

K.C. GOH

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How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech will help you write a humorous speech in a fun and easy way. It is packed with everything you need to write a speech to make your audience laugh. It covers:

How To Write A Winning Humorous Speech

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How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech Secrets To Make Your Audience Laugh K.C. GOH

a.k.a Goh Kheng Chuan

Published by Rank Books www.rankbooks.com

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First Published May 2012 Published and Distributed by Rank Books Rank Books Blk 1002 Toa Payoh Ind Park #07-1423 Singapore 319074 Tel: 65-6250 8180 Email: admin@rankbooks.com www.rankbooks.com ISBN 978-981-07-2261-6 Copyright © Goh Kheng Chuan Typeset and Cover Design: Rank Books Illustrations by: Goh Kheng Chuan (except for images that appeared in the front cover and page 88) All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or copied in any form or by any means – graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or information retrieval systems – without written permission of the author.

Condition of Sale This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the copyright holder’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Printed in Singapore

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Dedication This book is dedicated to the past and present members of Lion City Toastmasters Club www.lioncitytoastmastersclub.com Special thanks to Ng Seng Chuan, who taught me so much about public speaking and the following individuals who have supported me in my learning journey: Augustine Lee, Soh Swee Kiat, Ting Chee Kheong, Yeow Chern Chou, Yeow Chern Han, Audrey Koh, Lee Kiat Bee, Thomas Chan, Theresa Khoo, Danny Ker, Ronald Wee, Jessica and Tok Hwee Min

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Disclaimer for Hypertext Links In This Book This book includes hypertext links (referring to both plain text hyperlinks and QR codes) to other sites on the World Wide Web that are neither owned by, controlled by, sponsored by, nor endorsed by the Author and the Publisher. These links are provided for reference and education purposes only and they are nothing more than just a simple text link. The Author and the Publisher take no responsibility for the availability, views, content, or accuracy of this information, nor do the Author and the Publisher endorse any content or products that may be advertised or noted on these hyperlinked web sites.

By using the hypertext links in this book, the user acknowledges and accepts that the Author and the Publisher are not responsible for any materials stored on hyperlinked sites, nor are liable for any inaccurate, defamatory, offensive, or illegal materials found on hyperlinked web sites.

Disclaimer of Damages By using these hypertext links, the user assumes all risks associated with the use of the linked sites, including any risk to his or her computer, software or data being damaged by any virus, software, or any other file which might be transmitted or activated via a web page on the sites the user has access to it.

The Author and the Publisher shall not be liable for any special, incidental or consequential damages, including, without limitation, lost revenues or lost profits, resulting from the use or misuse of the information contained in the linked sites.

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About The Author Goh Kheng Chuan, also known as K.C. Goh, is an entrepreneur, book publisher of Rank Books and director of Rank Seminar Pte Ltd. He entered the publishing trade in 1993, and over the past 19 years, he has published numerous bestsellers by local authors. He himself is a successful author. His bestselling titles include Handbook For Expatriates: Working and Living in Singapore, Letters of Credit in International Trade, Handbook For Stock Investors and the bestselling humor book titled Towkay Ho Seh Boh: How to Become a Successful Towkay.

“TOWKAY HO SEH BOH?” or “How are you Boss” in English is the first straight-talking book of business lessons written in English with a good dose of Singlish, Hokkien, and Chinese. His humorous writing and creative book concept became a big hit in Singapore and quickly became a national bestseller during the month it was launched. This bestseller was also translated into Indonesian and is published by UFUK Publishing House, in Indonesia.

Mr Goh is an arts graduate from the National University of Singapore, majoring in Sociology and Geography. He also holds a Specialist Diploma in E-Learning from National

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Institute of Education (NIE) and a Diploma in Wealth Management.

K.C. Goh is also a certified Advanced Certificate in Training and Assessment (ACTA) trainer competent in delivering excellent competency-based training programs and assessments. He is very passionate about training and public speaking and is currently a member and former President of Lion City Toastmasters Club.

He loves to share his experience on publishing and public speaking and has been invited to various clubs, schools and business associations to speak on various topics. He has been featured in the Straits Times and Berita Harian on his bestselling book, Towkay Ho Seh Boh.

The National Bestseller that offers practical business advice in a humorous style with a colourful dose of Singlish, Hokkien and Mandarin. Available at major bookstores and at: www.rankseminar.com

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Content Introduction

1

Chapter 1

7

The Humorous Speech

Assessment And Points For A Humorous Speech Speech Content Speech Delivery

Appropriateness Correctness

10

11

12 13 14

Chapter 2 Where To Find Ideas For Your Speech?

Positive Passions Turn Negative Things Into Topics Making Funny Is Your Business From Your Everyday Life Don’t Just Look, Ask! Reframing Narrow Down Your Topic The How-To Approach

15 15 16 18 20 21 24 24 27

Chapter 3 How To Make Something Funny 1) The Rule Of Three 2) Self-deprecating Technique 3) Exaggeration 4) Naming It Funny 5) Play On Words (POW) 6) Before and After 7) Idea Associations

31 32 36 38 44 47 49 52

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8) The Opposite And Reversal 9) Funny Definitions 10) Funny Imagery 11) Let Your Characters Speak 12) The Call Back

53 58 59 61 62

Chapter 4 Give Your Speech CPR Dare To Cut Cut Redundancies Plant R—Rewrite And Replace

63 64 66 67 67

Chapter 5 Rehearse And Win The Off-camera Rehearsal List of Symbols You Can Use Memorizing Your Speech The On-Camera Rehearsal Body Language Pause Vocal Variety Props And Visual Aids Big Actions And Gestures Movement And Punchline Laughter Initiator

71 72 75 76 78 78 79 79 79 80 82 85

Chapter 6 The Art Of Delivery Dress For Success Early To Bed Early To Rise Picking Your Punch Line Target

87 89 90 91

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Finding Mojo

91

Chapter 7 The Humorous Speech Checklist How To Use The Checklist

93 94

Chapter 8

98

Sample Speeches (With Analysis)

Speech 1: The Spirit Of Toastmasters Speech 1 Analysis Speech 2: The Peace Mantra Speech 2 Analysis Speech 3: What The Motivational Gurus Didn’t Tell You Speech 3 Analysis Speech 4: The True Singaporean Speech 4 Analysis

99 104 108 112 116 120 124 128

Humor Resource

133

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Introduction

Introduction The first secret to writing humor is to know who to blame for missing a funny bone in your body. It is really not your fault that you were not born with a funny bone. Being humor impaired is not your fault. Blame it on your education. You were taught to read and write English, Spanish, and Chinese, but you were not taught to write humor.

As a toastmaster for the last eight years, I have mentored numerous new members from my club. During my mentoring sessions, I always advise them to prepare their entire speeches in writing. But the common response I get is that their written speech does not sound like the way they speak. Of course, they have not learnt how to write the way they speak, and definitely not in a humorous way.

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How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech

= Hey Doc! Did you find my funny bone?

Many of us have spent too much time in school writing essays. To get a high score for your essay, it must be written to look complicated. This is to show you are more intelligent compared to those who have not gone to school. When writing a humorous speech, you need to write funny and in a way like you are talking to someone, which is a skill that most have not learnt in school. So don’t blame yourself. Blame yourself

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Introduction

later when you are not applying the techniques outlined in this book.

Writing a humorous speech is not like skydiving. If you don’t succeed the first time, it is not going to kill you. The first rule of writing any speech is to write, rewrite, and rewrite until you get it. Who told you that you can come up with a great speech, writing it once? Whoever gave you that idea must be an incompetent toastmaster.

Writing humor is no laughing matter; it is a very serious matter. If you take the writing seriously, you will be seriously funny. This book will help you to write a humorous speech in a serious but fun and easy way. Unlike other books in the market on writing humor, which were written for aspiring comedians, this book is specially written for toastmasters.

I know many toastmasters like you, who love their current job and have no plans to become a full-time comedian. So, those guide books on humor aren’t really helpful. In fact, after reading them, you may be too terrified to write. Your hands may shiver with fear and your brain may suffer a blackout when you try writing your first line because it makes you think

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How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech

you need a degree from the University of Humor to be certified successful.

Take it easy. Writing a humorous speech is not standup comedy. You don’t need to make the audience laugh every six seconds. You don’t need to deliver line after line of funny oneliners. You just need to sprinkle a bit of humor here and there with a key message. Just make sure you don’t put the audience to sleep every 26 seconds.

Unlike other books, which are stuff with words and nothing much to learn, this book is specially designed to enhance your learning experience. When you write a book on a topic like this, you need more than words to get the message across.

You need the readers to listen, to see, and to think. You need audio and video to enhance it. Thanks to the internet, QR codes, and smart phones, this book is able to bring to life techniques and ideas in a manner that no book has ever done.

When you see a QR code, take out your smart phone and scan it using any free code scanning software (read instructions in the page 6).

This will take you to the video instantly using your smartphone. This book is available in an e-book version as

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Introduction

well. It comes with hyperlinks to allow you to instantly connect directly to websites and videos, as long as you have an internet connection.

In fact, I should not call this a book. This is a humorous speech workshop, which you can attend and learn at your own pace.

If you watch all the videos recommended here, it will take you 90 minutes or more. Best of all, you can even retake this course as many times as you want. You really can’t find this anywhere. Start learning now!

K.C. Goh a.k.a Goh Kheng Chuan Advanced Communicator Bronze (ACB), Competent Leader (CL) Lion City Toastmasters Club, Singapore

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Chapter 2 Where to Find Ideas for Your Speech?

Chapter 2 Where to Find Ideas for Your Speech?

Ideas are everywhere. They can come from the news, personal encounters, things you hear from your friends and colleagues, the internet, and many more sources. But the best ideas come from the things that you feel strongly about either in a positive or negative way.

Positive Passions The things you feel strongly about in a positive manner could be things you are passionate about, things you believe in, things you love, and things that capture your interests. For instance,

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How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech

if you are female and are crazy about shopping, then that is a great topic for you. You can craft a speech about being a shopaholic or share with your audience the list of crazy things you bought over the years and why you bought them. You can also talk about the reasons why you should never bring your boyfriends or husband with you when you shop because they can spoil the entire shopping experience. But, if you are male and love shopping, this is an even better topic! The reason is that most people regard shopping as a woman thing, so when a man says he loves shopping, it becomes interesting and this is a twist from the norm.

Turn Negative Things Into Topics Things that invoke negative feelings may be the things that irritate you when they cross your mind. The things you hate are also potential speech topics. For instance, many men perceive women as bad drivers who like to switch lanes without giving any warning just like the way they change boyfriends. So, if you choose a topic like this, you can talk about how bad woman drivers are and maybe suggest funny solutions on how they can become better drivers.

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Chapter 2 Where to Find Ideas for Your Speech?

share ardly ur h e w er o ey, “Hon ghter aft u lost o u any la ge. Have y or?” m ia u r h r a f m nse o e s r you

“Not at all, Dear! I just made a speech about you, titled “My Boring Naggy Wife” and I was the Champion for the contest!

Moral of the Story: If there is nothing fun about it, make fun of it.

point of view to make it funny. Something can become funny when you frame it in a different and surprising new way!

You must challenge yourself to create your own funny materials from scratch. The ultimate humor skill is to mutate the mundane to marmalade.

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Chapter 3 HowTo Make Something Funny

Chapter 3 How To Make Something Funny To make something funny, you will need to know a few humor techniques. In this chapter, I will teach you 12 techniques to help you craft your funny lines. Some are easier to apply, while some are more challenging. You don’t need to use all the techniques; if you can master just a few techniques and use them to craft your speeches, you will be on your way to tickle a few funny bones.

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How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech

1) The Rule of Three The rule of three is an easy technique to use for any speakers.

In normal speech writing, it is used for emphasis and to create a sense of rhythm in your speech. The sentence is crafted with three elements. Each element can be a single word or a short phrase. Some common sayings using the rule of three include: Mind, body, and soul Go, fight, and win Money, women, and sex Wine, women, and song The good, the bad, and the ugly Government of the people, by the people, for the people (Abraham Lincoln) When used for writing a humorous speech, the last of the three elements is your surprise element or the twist. The first two elements set a predictable pattern. The third element is a twist that makes it unpredictable for the listener. These elements could be single words, phrases, or sentences depending how complex you want to craft your lines. The easiest way is to have one word for each element like “Wine, women, and football�.

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Chapter 3 HowTo Make Something Funny

In order to keep the most funny idea or element for the last, you have to work backwards. Look at what you have written in your speech and then see how you can rewrite that particular line using the rule of three. What you have written earlier may be your third element or idea, and now you’ve got to go back and craft the first two elements to apply the rule of three.

For example, let’s say you’ve written: You know you are getting old when you forget where you put your false teeth.

Rewrite it as: You know you are getting old when you forget where you put your car keys, reading glasses, and false teeth.

In the above example, you’ve got to ask what other related elements there are so you can use them as your first and second elements.

Let me give you my own example for a speech I gave for a book launch in which I was asked to give a short speech.

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How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech

3) Exaggeration When you are dealing with humor, your audience will not take everything you say seriously. They will be ready to accept some degree of exaggeration that is bizarre and ridiculous. This is part of the entertainment. So feel free to exaggerate. This technique is the easiest and most commonly used technique, and best of all, you can use it many times throughout your speech.

To exaggerate something, you need to be a little bit more descriptive. For instance, if you say that John is short, you will need to ask, how short? He is as short as ‌‌?

You need to ask what are the things that are low in height.

What can you compare his height with? A possible statement about being short may be: He is so short that he needs to stand on a stack of books to look out of his bedroom window. (Unknown) He walked so slow, even a tortoise can overtake him. (Unknown)

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How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech

Child:”Mum, I think I just saw a super giant dinosaur!”

Mum:”Stop exaggerating, Annie. It is only a tiny lizard!”

3b) Mapping Technique Another way to create exaggerations is to take the attribute of one thing that is related and map it with your target for exaggeration. Or, you can take different traits or qualities of

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How to Write a Winning Humorous Speech

but you’ve got to give it the Kiss of Life, and I mean Cut, Place, and Rewrite (CPR).

Dare to Cut Be brutal when you self-edit the first draft. Cut out unnecessary words and sentences. Be precise. Tightens up the speech.

But don’t get me wrong. It does not mean that all your sentences should be short or you should not be too descriptive with your sentences. Look out for sentences that do not add impact to your lines or relevance to an idea that you are sharing. As a guide, you may ask a few questions when self-editing.

• • • •

Is this detail necessary to make my point?

Is this detail funny?

Is this detail necessary to lead me to the punch line?

Does the audience really care about this?

Less is good and less is funnier when writing a good humorous speech. When your lines are too wordy, it takes too long from the setup to the punch line. Cut down unnecessary words and details and get closer to the punch line. If there are too many details, the audience will go to sleep and by the time they wake

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