Grace Christine Banez
Lovingly Yours, Mommy By Grace Christine Banez
First published in 2012 Lovingly Yours, Mommy. Copyright 2012 by Grace Christine Banez. Printed in Singapore. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by electronic or mechanical means, without permission in writing from the publisher. For any comments and inquiries, the e-mail address you can write to is Sugilanon1972@yahoo.com.sg You may reach the publisher at this contact number: Singapore (65) 9812 5023
ISBN 978-981-07-4810-4
This book is dedicated to my mother MARY GRACE, the first best friend I've known and to ALL PARENTS who give their selfless love to their children. .
What the readers are saying . . . “Without a doubt, this book will touch hearts and make the readers appreciate more the love only a mother can give.” Emily Orcullo, A loving wife and mother Manager, Procter and Gamble Singapore
“After reading this difficult-to-put-down book, I resolved to spend time with my family more than I already do. So that when the trumpet sounds, I am prepared, at peace and ready, knowing I haven’t wasted my time.” Genevive Rulona A loving wife and mother Manager, ThoughtfulCrafts
“This book tells about an extraordinarily moving story of the trials and victories of a very courageous woman and mother, determined to overcome all odds and adversities in life. Having been able to singlehandedly raise two amazing children was no easy feat. Her story will inspire mothers to raise their own children with love and devotion that will strengthen their bond and commitment to each other. A must read for every teenager before they too become parents one day.” Patrick Ang, A loving husband and father Publishing Consultant and previous Publisher at MPH
“Lovingly Yours, Mommy ... a wonderful book to inspire women, single parents, and those who lost someone dear.” Emmy Portia Tizon, A loving mother and selfless sister Phlebotomist
“I would like to honor the author Christine for her strength, having been through such a difficult journey. I’m sure her mother is at peace and happy about what they have become. This book reminds me of my own mother, her unconditional love not only to us her children but to her parents, siblings, friends, all those around her. This book has also made me re-examine myself as a mother. Certainly it can be challenging but yes I, too, can give unconditional love and become like her.” Agnes Nisperos, A loving wife and mother Engineer and Entrepreneur
“A must-read book on family relationships and life struggles. Get inspired by the exemplary character of ‘Mommy’ on how she embodies the role of women in empowering the life of individuals in the family and the society as a whole. This is a story of women’s empowerment and mother’s heroism, which would-be moms and people who simply appreciate their mom’s heroism can learn and relate.” Mona Lisa Bernardo A loving wife and mother Special Education Teacher and Real Estate Manager
“This book teaches important lessons about life and what being parents really means. Knowing the author personally, I can see how her stories had shaped her into who she is today. A must-read for all parents.” Hendri Chandra Tjong, A loving husband Manager, SP-NGCHEESUM, AIA Singapore Private Limited
“The story brings to us some lessons on believing that there is nothing impossible if we have faith.” Lourdes Gumin, A loving mother and grandmother Primary School Teacher
“The book has an interesting way of presenting the special bonding that takes place between a mother and her daughter. One significant value that stands out in all the interactions that take place between and among the characters is TRUTHFULNESS which makes the pain experienced bearable.” Mrs. Antonia Pascual, A loving wife and mother Dean College of Nursing, University of San Carlos
Acknowledgment To my younger brother Ivan Jr., thank you so much for sharing the wonderful journey with Mommy. It may be a short and challenging journey but it was all worth it. May we continue to share Mom’s legacy of love to our family and friends. To my husband Nomer, thank you for keeping your promise to Mommy that you would take care of me. Life may sometimes be stormy but your unconditional love will always brighten the horizon ahead. I love you with all my heart. To my son Uriel, thank you for being a loving son. You are God’s greatest gift to me and your Daddy. You can be a handful at times but you always show your kind and honest nature in everything that you do. Daddy and I love you so much. To my editor, layout artist and good friend Anabelle Badilla, thank you so much for sharing your talent in editing and pouring your creative juices into this book. I have been saving this story for 14 years now waiting for the right person to edit it then I found you. The way you edited the story captured how Mom's life should be written. You are heaven sent. To Bebang and Benjo Rulona, thank you so much for creating the cover of this book. It brings out life and warmth. I am touched by your selfless attitude of extending help when needed. To Auntie Bebot, thank you so much for being a selfless godmother, you always remind me of Mom. Both of you shared the same zest for life. To Sir Patrick Ang, thank you so much for encouraging me to pursue my dream of writing this book as a tribute to my Mom. Thank you for sharing your valuable input for this book. To my family and friends who provided your unending support, input and encouragement. You have been an inspiration. To the Holy Spirit who enlightened our minds in the creation of this book, we offer to you our grateful hearts. You are the little voice who whispers how we should write this book to inspire the readers.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Preface...............................................................viii Prologue ...........................................................xiii How it all began ..................................................1 Where our dreams were shattered ......................15 Our journey to the unknown ............................. 24 Broken but brave .............................................. 35 Valiant, strong, unyielding .................................44 Drawing the curtains open ................................ 53 What keeps us going ......................................... 61 And then there was love .............................‌... 71 Longing that cannot be filled .............................80 Goodbyes are not forever .................................. 91 Epilogue ..........................................................102 Greeting Cards Mommy kept ...........................106 Letter from Mommy (Actual) ...........................114 Letter from Mommy (English version) .............116
PREFACE
When I was a young girl, my Mom would sometimes go out to do her groceries or deliver wood laminations to my grandparents’ photography studio. I would often complain for I always wanted to be with her. She told me that sometimes I had to stay home because she loved me. She didn’t want to stress me out from the heat outside the home. But Mom was wise, she just knew how to comfort me. She told me that I can always write a letter for her while she was away. That way, she will know how I had been. “But I do not know how to write a letter,” I told her. She said it’s okay, I can always ask an adult like my aunt to write for me. So I learned how to express my feelings while Mom was away and somehow, it gave me the feeling that she was just near, even sitting beside me. When she got back home, she would read my letters and write her answer to each of them. She read her letters aloud for me. She also expressed her feelings how much she missed me while she was away, telling me that she loved me every second of the day. Writing letters to Mommy and hearing back her answers had been an exciting interaction for us. I looked viii
forward so much to the day when I finally learned how to write my ABCs. At last I could write my very own letter for Mommy. My first letter to Mommy was written on a Valentine’s card. I could hardly write my alphabet well so I just drew lots of hearts and planted a hundred kisses on my card. Mommy cannot read my words but she knew what I was saying. After several practice and more days in school, I finally learned how to write and I had written Mom a lot of letters. She didn’t really answer all of my letters until I went to college. I studied far from home and I only went home to see her on holidays. There were tons of correspondence between Mom and me when I was far away. I will share with you the stories within those envelopes that contained the precious letters. May they inspire you to cherish what really matters in life.
ix
PROLOGUE Instead of reading to me books about fairy tales where tragedies, misfortune and heartbreak always have a happy ending, my mother would tell me a story about “the spirit world�. She told me this every single night and it made me believe that it definitely existed. The spirit world is a place where everything is beautiful. The sweet smell of fresh flowers permeates every nook and corner of this wonderful paradise, a perfect garden adorned with flowers, each one a beautiful work of art. It is a beautiful sight to see. Everyone is equal. No one is lesser or greater than the other. Everyone wears the same type of white, soft, comfortable clothing. Everyone is knowledgeable of the things around them. No one is dumber, or smarter. Each being demonstrates love, courtesy and respect for one another. It is a happy place, where everybody is peaceful and contented. There is no trace of negative feelings, envy, pain, bitterness. Mom said that when a dying person crosses the tunnel of light, there is a feeling of elation and all the sadness, rejection, and fear, all the sad memories, fade away completely. In the spirit world everything is good, predictable and constant. For most people on earth battered with trials and difficulties, living in this kind of world is the best thing that can happen to them. xiii
PROLOGUE Instead of reading to me books about fairy tales where tragedies, misfortune and heartbreak always have a happy ending, my mother would tell me a story about “the spirit world”. She told me this every single night and it made me believe that it definitely existed. The spirit world is a place where everything is beautiful. The sweet smell of fresh flowers permeates every nook and corner of this wonderful paradise, a perfect garden adorned with flowers, each one a beautiful work of art. It is a beautiful sight to see. Everyone is equal. No one is lesser or greater than the other. Everyone wears the same type of white, soft, comfortable clothing. Everyone is knowledgeable of the things around them. No one is dumber, or smarter. Each being demonstrates love, courtesy and respect for one another. It is a happy place, where everybody is peaceful and contented. There is no trace of negative feelings, envy, pain, bitterness. Mom said that when a dying person crosses the tunnel of light, there is a feeling of elation and all the sadness, rejection, and fear, all the sad memories, fade away completely. In the spirit world everything is good, predictable and constant. For most people on earth battered with trials and difficulties, living in this kind of world is the best thing that can happen to them. xiii
Some of these spirits, after knowing how perfectly beautiful heaven is, wish to go back to earth and let their loved ones know they should live their life as best they could for them to be deserving of such a paradise. The Infinite Being, who created them, understands this and gives them the fleeting chance to go back to their mortal life on earth, not as humans but as butterflies, sometimes as loving pets like dogs or cats, or some animals taking an unusual form. Some are given the chance to go back to earth in a form of a soft gentle breeze, or a discreet unassuming smoke in some corner. They usually talk to their loved ones through dreams. This story about the spirit world inspired Mom to cherish each moment of her life and love us the best way that she could. “People must cherish the ones they love every single day and be thankful for such opportunity,” Mom said to me gently. “Our life here on earth is passing. We all must go to the spirit world. Here on earth, our task is to love one another.” “Definitely, our future will be affected by how we lived our past and present lives. When in doubt, always follow the little voice in your heart and you will never go wrong. This little voice is what people call ‘conscience’. Our conscience is like a compass. It will always point to the right direction. As the real compass will always point north, our conscience will always point to what is right,” Mommy said, smiling sweetly. As a mother, she knows how innocent a child’s mind can be. She knows that a parent needs to use the best analogy they can, to impart these things to their kids. xiv
“Mommy, will I go to the spirit world too?” I inquired, fighting the urge to close my eyes. I always want to ask Mommy more questions. As a child, I know that my mother has all the answers to my questions. I guess every child believes that their mother knows everything. “Yes, you will my darling, someday after you’ve served your purpose here on earth. But I guess I will be the one to go there first. And when I’m up there, I’m going to be one of those stars,” she pointed to the sky outside the window and I fade away in my sweet slumber, dreaming about the spirit world.
xv
How it all began.
Among the countless twinkling stars that hold the dream of a few who dare to believe, I own one of them. Yes, I dare to believe I only need to gaze upon the night sky and see a single shining reminder that I am not alone in this journey. Whenever I look up at the skies at night, I look for her, and I am comforted by the thought that she is watching over me. I lost my mother when she was just 45. She was too young to be saying goodbye, and I was too young to be letting her go. But we did, anyway. Not because we didn’t have any choice, but because we knew there was a greater purpose for every pain that this life requires us once in a while. This is a story about friendship, between a mother and a daughter who waded through the precarious times of fear and seemingly eternal uncertainty. My childhood was riddled with horrific events that couldn’t really frighten me as a three-year-old that time, but more of confused me as to what was really happening.
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