Paideia by Cho Woods

DIGITAL STING PUBLISHING NOVEL All content written by Cho Woods Copyrighted 2009

Online Novel

DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

Welcome to Digital Sting Online Novel. This novel contains spiritual content.

Chapter One: The Beginning

DIGITAL STING PUBLISHING NOVEL

By Cho Woods

and be a part of things that most people couldn’t imagine. I can still go home around my way as we commonly say and get all the respect and love from people I know. To me there is nothing like it. I had a chance to experience living in one of the most dangerous city and one of the quietest neighborhoods where I live now in Newark, Delaware. Delaware is where I live I would say to anyone. However Philadelphia will always be my home. Greeted by the glare of the Market Street was half-empty sun when I walked out from the due to it being early in the mall, I had to put on my shades morning but soon to be buzzing just to see. As I made my way with all types of people trying to down Market Street towards make their way to their City Hall I couldn’t help but be temporary destinations of the depressed a little that a lot of the day. store front that had the latest Philly is where it all started for fashions were gone. I could me. To be from Philly is a badge never get used to it or forgive of honor. I respected and felt my beloved city from catering proud to let people know in a towards tourism. heartbeat. The tempo was quick, yet slow. The beat remains constant yet changing all the time and some how it continues to be intricate part of my life forever embedded in my soul. Growing up in North Philadelphia allowed me to see I just walked off the R2 regional train from Wilmington, Delaware. The train wasn’t that crowded but once I got into the thick of things in the city of Philadelphia from the Friday rush, it became apparent that I am in the midst of a busy day. Walking out of the Gallery Mall from the lower level where the suburban line trains made daily stops through-out the day coming from different suburban areas

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PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

I cut across the street on 13Th to head towards Chestnut St. There were some clothing and electronic stores still conducting business for the latest in music and DJ equipment. The closer I got to the store whose door was wide open I could hear the sweet voice of North Philadelphia’s own Jill Scott. Jill was singing one of her classics on a sound system coming from that electronic store “He loves me” never sounded so fresh even after nine years to this day, July 18, 2000, when the album was released. I stopped instantly just short of going inside. That song always made me feel good. I branded it as a driving song for any given summer at night. Windows downs the humidity made your body feel warm to compliment the song that made your soul feel equally the same. To this day, I am still in awe and proud, that she made it out of the ghetto and realized her dream. As a fan I can here her passions and struggles in her work on each and every album she released. I have to admit the bragging rights continue for me because I knew her and walk the

were brothers and sister. There mother Nettie was the greatest aunt any kid could have. I loved staying down my grandmother’s house, besides everyone I knew was there. She knew what was going on at my house and she tried to shield me from that type of life. She never treated me any different. My first job at Wendy’s fast food restaurant in Center City was the greatest thing since slice bread to me. My grandmother would wake me up to fix me breakfast to get ready for work. My boy Herb who lived across the street from me on Sergeant Street, worked down the street at a record shop. We would often hook up acting like we were grown bragging on if his check or mine was better was bigger. They were the same but when you included the overtime I got versus his, I would always win because Wendy’s stayed open later and the record shop always closed around six o’clock in the evening. On my days off I would get the call to work for someone.

PAIDEIA

DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

It nothing for me to get up hop on my black Diamond Back BMX bike and ride into the city with no helmet or pad. During those trips I got to hear the sounds of Philadelphia while traveling through the neighborhoods. Hip Hop was emerging as the number one sound on the radio even with the infamous no rap work day, that didn’t last long. Run D.M.C.’s Raising Hell Album dropped and I thought I was the fourth unofficial member of the group. Lady B., a radio personality on Power 99 would play everything that was real Hip Hop. To me the music was my voice and allow me to release aggression and self expression. The word play back in the day was incredible. Today for the most part hip hop as far as the music element is all but dead. Speeding through the streets the boom box radios were blaring from the steps of the row homes was one of the greatest feelings. To me this was a time of youthful innocence of being able to travel throughout the blocks and not get your ass kicked just for being there. There was very little violence

from the teens back in the day, unless it was a fist fight. Our souls connected to the music and the ambition of wanting to have our own by working and doing for our selves. This is what my grandmother Dorothy BarnesSmith taught me. She was always in my corner yet I wasn’t her blood grandson. My mother was with her son Derrick who we all called Muscle. She would say work and get what you want. The time is now for you to become a man. I took her wisdom and focus on the things that I wanted. At that time I wanted to be Run D.M.C., so I wore shell toe Adidas and I needed to be and identify with them to be cool in hopes of capturing a girlfriend. My stepfather all ways told me that a man’s shoe should always be clean. Either a church shoe or sneaker, it didn’t make a difference. That mentality of having the freshest kicks hasn’t changed twenty-two years later.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

I was on my way to Plato’s Closet consignment shop to see what upscale clothing and items I could buy and sell on The mugginess was started to make its way the more I walked.. It was like I was trying to catch up with my self struggled to keep balance with my self or the planet. From out of know where I heard a sweet yet demanding voice calling out into the air. Some how I knew the voice was speaking to me. However I wasn’t really sure but I stopped and turn my neck to the left to see if I would hear it again. “Please stop.” The voice said that seems to be out of breath. “What?” It was a woman for sure so I played the game. It must have been the heat; normally I would have ran thinking that I could be robbed. I turned around and saw a full figured woman with a pattern yellow and white skirt with a woman’s tank top that had the words respect me on it. I found that amusing but hey it was her way of expression. Her muscular calves were protruding outwards from the front. Her legs shined from some type of

oil with a strawberry fragrance leading to her feet that was fitting nicely in a pair of white shoes with a inch heel. She had on a silver chain on her neck had a cross with diamonds in them that could have been a choker. The sun that was now behind me, reflected off the chain she was wearing back into my eyes. The melanin from her bronze skin that had me thanking God that he made woman. It didn’t matter to me the size of the woman because I respected them all but full figured woman that took care of themselves were my personal favorite, especially if they had a short hair style. I have my six grade teacher Mrs. Crook to thank for a life time curse of being attracted to a certain type of woman’s hair cut. She was my first crush, and she set the tone of how to treat and honor women. Watching Ms. Crook teach with her auburn colored hair was what I now call a spiritual moment at the age of twelve. Call me crazy but I still think about how she taught me that I could be all I could be in life if I just open up and apply my self.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

“Thank you! Whew I am a big girl. You walk so fast.” She said struggling to get her words out. “I have been watching you Mr. Woods.” “Who are you and why were you watching me?” My eye brows rose waiting for her to respond. I gave her a moment before she caught a heat stroke. “I wasn’t technically watching you. I have been following your career.” “Thank you. I appreciate you being interested in my work.” “Cho I saw you getting off the train and I was very hesitant to follow you. I didn’t want you to think I was this crazed woman.” “Please call me Ray. Cho is the name I use for writing. Only close friends are allow to call e Cho.” “I apologize.” I was a little surprised that she followed me. It made me feel a little uncomfortable but I didn’t make a big deal about it. “Do you follow and stop everyone you like?” “Sorry I shouldn’t have done it.”

She looked embarrassed. I told her it was OK and ask if she wanted an autograph. She ignored me smiling from ear to ear sniffing. I backed up a little to give her space for whatever she was about to do. “Is that Kenneth Cole Black cologne you’re wearing?” “Excuse me?” “Your cologne is what I am referring to. I like what you have on.. You look like a modern day Crockett and Tubbs from Miami Vice. ” We both shared a laugh. I looked over my self and felt pretty good about what I was wearing. I had a black t-shirt with black summer loafers with cream linen pants with the draw string. I always took pride in the way I look. My step father taught me that long ago. “Oh, you have jokes. I like that?”

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

"The reason why I am here is because I am a aspiring writer and I would like to ask for your help to get into the business. I am sorry I didn’t introduce my self, my name is Nyla Ray and it is a honor to meet such a accomplished writer such as your self.” “It is nice to meet you Nyla.” I extended my hand to shake hers. “That is great that you would like to write your first book. Do you have a manuscript now that you are trying to shop?” “Besides blogs, no I haven’t written anything that I can claim being published. But I am working on it and that is why I am here?” She began to back up towards the glass of a clothing store-front that was to our left on Chestnut Street. There was a cloth awning that was stationed over top of the windows that gave a little shade from the sun. I turned to face her still being hit by the summer rays that were beaming down to the earth. She pulled out a bottle water she had in a black leather bag and took a swig. The sweat from the bottle began to drip as she dranked.

“I would like to write a book about you.” I gave her a surprised look and shrugged my shoulders. She stared at me and I could tell she didn’t like the look that was coming from my face. People would often tell me I have a look that could kill. They would say, “why you look so mean all the time?” I blamed it on DNA from my father who has the same look. “I am sorry, did I say something wrong?” “No why do you ask?” “That look you just gave me. It was kind of scary!” “Pay that no mind. It’s just a facial expression. I am surprised that you would want to write a book on me. Why?” She looked me dead in the eyes. The seriousness that she had let me know she was not about any games. “I find you very interesting. I read everything you’ve done and you seem like the perfect person to tell a story about. You have told so many stories. You seem to have an understanding of woman and a certain style about yourself.”

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

“What kind of story of story do you want to tell? I don’t think I am that interesting at all.” My eyes widen while she began to pace in front of the window. She remain sheltered from the heat yet the excitement was building in her as she was about to make her pitch. “I want the truth. I want the world to know who Raymond Woods and not Cho Woods the writer. Everyone has a story to tell, so why not you. You are one of God’s children. You are voice and have a voice that needs to be herd from another level. I think it would be a great idea.” I lost focus of what was happening being stuck in a grey area for a moment. I began to stare in the window and notice the worker in there smiling. Maxine was shaking her head and smiling. My attention was now on a heavy set white man in the restaurant cooking behind the grill. I scanned his once white t-shirt now stained with grease spots from cooking at the grill. He took off his paper hat and held it to his chest as if he was pledging allegiance to the flag, my head tipped to the right

almost dog like. I could feel a little bit of sweat starting to form on the side of my head. He began to point to the window and gesture on how big her behind was. I smiled and Shook my head, ignored him and focused back on Nyla. He amused himself by laughing and getting back to work. “Is it Nyla or Ms. Ray?” “Nyla.” “What will you offer the readers of your book? Do you have an agent or publishing company interested?” “No, neither did you when you started out. We can...” I cut her short and ask “we?” because I thought she was writing the book about me. She explained that I am a partner with her. Without my input, it doesn’t happen. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to cut you off.” “That’s OK. All I ask if you could listen to the concept that I would like to pitch. If you don’t like it I will understand and walk away and never bother you again.”

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

I gave her my card that had my name, cell number and email address. She looked at it hard and cracked a smile. Her dark brown eyes began to dance with hope. I didn’t have anything to lose because I was already in a jam. However I wasn’t convinced yet to allow someone to know everything about me and why would anyone want to read it. She would not let me leave until I gave her at least 15 minutes of my time. I invited Nyla into the shop we stood in front of for something to eat. She thanked me and followed me in. I could see the glee on the cook’s face as Maxi walked behind me. We sat at a wooden table that sat four. The wooden chairs made a wrenching noise when I pulled her chair out and mine. No one seemed to have mind as they were in tuned to doing their own thing like surfing the Net or having conversation. “I want you to know Maxi that this is very awkward for me. Right now everything is going wrong and I am trying to right those wrongs. It’s hard when you lose something and try to regain it. However what I want

most is to get back some of my identity that was lost along the way. This book you want to write I believe will have a negative impact on me and my family.” She smiled and reached into her bag and pulled out spiral notebook. She opened the book that had a bunch or words on it. I could not make sense of what was written down but I was sure she had a reason for all that information to be there. The sound of the legs scrapped against the wooden floor again as she pulled closer to the table.

PAIDEIA

DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

“Never has there been a book written about someone who is famous giving credit to those who made a way for him or her. Your style is impeccable; you treat people with humility and respect. I want to write a book with you almost like an autobiography with you telling the world what made you. I know from doing research that you are about to be dropped from your publishing company.” I was a little upset that she knew the status of my contract situation with Mortal Thoughts Publishing. It was one thing to want someone to help you but to put it out there like that was defiantly a turn off. She was right the last two sales of my novels didn’t do so great and my contract was on the line. I sat and gave her my look again, she was clearly nervous. She began to wring her hands and shift her eyes. She ask me was I OK, but I stared hard trying not to curse her out for prying in my business. “Nyla I don’t mean any disrespect but for you to have that information is a little scary to me. As I sit here I ask my self

why? Are you some type of investigator reporter who wants the inside scoop on me?” She struggled to speak. It was though I caught her in a lie, the heat was on and she had some explaining to do. “I apologize for prying in your personal business. That information was told to me by a friend I didn’t think it was true and I am not a reporter. I do want to write about you or shall I say interview you. It has to be with a twist. Besides I don’t care if you are losing your contract because I am here to help you.” I think I needed this to happen more than she wanted it to be for her to get into the industry. I started to seriously consider this book being a reality. Where it would take us I didn’t know but I was certainly intrigued. “Something or someone drove you to be who you are. Many times you read or hear interviews about this star explaining who they are and why they may have made this movie or that movie. Never do you hear the backdrop for the reason of their being.”

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

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She stared straight in my eyes. She had the look that convinced me that she believes in what she is doing. I should be honored that someone wanted to write about me. Why not me? “…Of course they will say thank God and that is a valid thing to do. But do you ever think that God puts people in your life knowing or not knowing to pattern you self after. There is a formula for everyone. A lot of negativity going on and our young men are taking that garbage into their system and acting it out. You seem to be on another level. I talked to a lot of people who know you and they basically all had the same thing to say.” “What did they say?” “It was good. But you didn’t have it easy coming up.” “Yeah but my story is no different than anyone else Nyla. I am just a man with problems just like everybody else. I am just shocked you did all this. Isn’t it a law to do that someone?” “No! I had no malice for doing it. I selected other during my research process. There are people that are bigger than you

in terms of celebrity. I don’t get caught up in all of that. I am looking for a opportunity to write my book and to help you recover your career.” “I am no celebrity that is for sure.” “You are in this town. That is for sure. What you have done in a four year period with your writing career is wonderful.” I gave a yeah right look and told her I have to go. She grabbed my right hand to stop me from getting up from the table. I looked down and could see my self in her red nail polish. “Nice nails.” “Thank you. Ray Can you please think about it?” “I will. I have to go. You have my card. Take care; give me a call on Monday.” She looked sad and optimistic at the same time. She stood to embrace me with a hug. I gave the love back to her and walked out the door. I wanted to turn to see what she was doing but didn’t. Our half a hour in the restaurant was quick yet interesting to say the least. May be this was my chance to get back on top.

Chapter 2

PAIDEIA

By Cho Woods

"Cho, My man fifty-grand. What brings you back home and to my place of business? Earth Wind and Fire sang on "I am trying to make a dollar their hit song In the stone "Every just like you. Nothings change." man, I meet is walking timeWe both laugh and gave each Free to wander, past his other pounds to show love. After conscious mind." This is the all isn't that what the city exact felling I had as the day promote and try to live by in its past by. Too much soul slogan, 'the city of brotherly searching can make you 2ND love'? guess all the things you have Smooth Jazz radio was on and done in the past. a new cut I never heard came on "Hey look who it is, the writer- the Smooth Jazz radio station. I man." Curt the shop owner stopped dead in my tracks to teased me. Curt was a former focus on the weird instrument Marine who open Plato's Closet that sounded like a Ci tar. 5 years ago. He was a big and "Curt who is that?" brawny and had a no-nonsense "Young blood, this is the new attitude for being late. He was a Marcus Miller cut called lot like me in many ways. I "Blast!" would often spend hours talking "Really? Can you turn it up?" to him. His wisdom and 15 years "Sure," he said. on me made me listen and take stock in his experience. Curt should have been the one writing a book all these years with the things he has seen and gone through. I left the store more than once shaking my head in disbelief on how the world and people really are outside my little box. "What's up Curt?"

DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

Chapter Two

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

I walked over the the counter and stared at the radio that on the shelf behind him. Instantly my head began to feel it. Marcus Miller is a bass guitarist who was wicket when it came time to play his instrument. Never before did I hear a bassist play like that. Of course there are many bass Guitarist out there like Larry Graham, Verdine White of Earth Wind and Fire and former N.B.A. basketball player, Wayman Tisdale. It was a feel good song for the summer time. I could see the heads bobbin in the store. No lyrics with the music just pure funk for the millennium.. "Curt, I got to get a copy of that CD." "We got it right here, man." "What?" "Yeah. Some young cat dropped it off this morning. He said it belong to his dad and he had no use for it." I grabbed the CD from his hand and turned it on the back, and it said that the release year was 2008. It surprised me that he would sell it, his lost my gain. "Curt this is brand new." Curt shook his head in disbelief.

"I know. What he did was down load the songs and put it on his ipod and figured he didn't need it anymore." "Maybe but you said it was his father's." I said looking perplexed. "That is what he told me. Who am I to question?" "You're right. I am getting that! Hold that for me." Curt nodded his head and I went back to looking around the store. I loved the new technology, I am a proud self proclaim techie. The young people today don't know how precious it is to have music to go back and reminist on a moment of their life. For them to think that way or have the mind set of always having it on their ipod is crazy to me. Maybe I feel strongly against it because my step father Muscle use bring new albums home every week. The sound of the record being dropped on the Hi-Fi stereo followed by the needle to amplify the groove is now a lost art. Yes, the DJ's still do it. However it is nothing like having that sound echoed in your very own home.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

"Yeah. Some young cat dropped it off this morning. He said it belong to his dad and he had no use for it." I grabbed the CD from his hand and turned it on the back, and it said that the release year was 2008. It surprised me that he would sell it, his lost my gain. "Curt this is brand new." Curt shook his head in disbelief. "I know. What he did was down load the songs and put it on his ipod and figured he didn't need it anymore." "Maybe but you said it was his father's." I said looking perplexed. "That is what he told me. Who am I to question?" "You're right. I am getting that! Hold that for me." Curt nodded his head and I went back to looking around the store. I loved the new technology, I am a proud self proclaim techie. The young people today don't know how precious it is to have music to go back and reminist on a moment of their life. For them to think that way or have the mind set of always having it on their ipod is crazy to me. Maybe I feel strongly against it because my

step father Muscle use bring new albums home every week. The sound of the record being dropped on the Hi-Fi stereo followed by the needle to amplify the groove is now a lost art. Yes, the DJ's still do it. However it is nothing like having that sound echoed in your very own home. "Curt I think this will do it for me." "Cool. I see that you didn't spend much time in here today. Are you sure that is it?" "Yes. The CD is all I am getting. I have a lot on my mind today," I told him. I became instantly sad at that moment. Nyla had me thinking about where I was, where I am and where I should be at this point. I've never been expressive when I was in the depth of my soul trying to make sense of my own reality. So much has happen in my short period of time. The pressures that I now face are far more stressful than I ever anticipated when I started to write professionally.

PAIDEIA

DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

"Curt you have a moment that I can talk to you in private?" "Sure young blood. Terry, can you come to the register for a moment?" "Sure." Terry walked from the racks of clothing with a sticker gun in her hand for marking the prices on the clothes. Curt and I walk to the back room of the store. The scent of strawberry welcomed us. The light smoke from the in-sent burn on the table was noticeable. We sat down on two metal chairs that looked to be stolen from a bingo hall. "What's on your mind young blood?" "Well I am in a jam. For the past two weeks I have been in a deep depression. I can't sleep and I am not eating right, man. I am under pressure from my publishing company to deliver a solid book." "So what is the problem? You're a good writer." "Thank you. But my confidence is not the same as before." Curt pulled out a pack of Newport Cigarettes the choice of black people and lit it with a metal lighter. His freckled skin glowed

as his eyes squinted while his mouth waiting for the lips to puff the nicotine. We were sitting opposites from each other looking eye to eye. I wanted for the wisdom to come so that I can be a part of the moment. "Young blood, let me ask you something. If you didn't become a writer and a family man who would you have been?" I looked up at the unfinished ceiling with wires hanging just short of dropping through the unfinished dropped ceiling. I couldn't come up with a answer yet it was there in my heart. The suppression is so deep for me that I was scared to let it free so I could be free. "I am waiting?" "I know, I know. I think if I wasn't who I am today, I would be a inmate at some state prison." Curt took a long puff and ask me why. "It's simple. I would have killed someone," I told him. I could feel my spirit getting angry because I am thinking back on my past.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

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"Kill? You don't strike me as a person that would do that. You do not strike me as a person who could go to jail and be comfortable. For you to say that, there must have been something deeper going on in your life. That is a lot of hate and resentment to have bottled up. Channel that energy writing. I know you can do it because it has been done. Find another niche to get you back to where you need to be." He was right. His deep raspy voice from smoking too much took up residence in my mind to remember. It was profound yet simple. I herd the door chimed from the door being open and customers coming inside. I could tell the heat was building because the dry wind brought it to the back room. "Feels like hell is here." Curt said. "Yeah," I said fanning my forehead. I told him he had to get central air in here. Curt took a long puff and squinted his eyes and told me that he would have to raise the prices to pay for it. I laughed and called him the ultimate cheap man. His broad

shoulders rose up followed by the open of his arms and hands. He gave me that I don't care attitude, and neither did I because I was about to leave. "Listen Curt, I appreciate your words I am going to get out here and head home. Thank you and I will talk to you later." "No problem young blood. Glad to help. Remember what made you, you. You feel me? Once you figure that out all the pieces will come together and God will do the rest." "Thanks Curt."

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I grabbed my bag with the CD I just brought and headed out the door into the oven. It was now 11:00 am and the walk back to the Gallery Mall will be a sweaty one. I did not mind too much, I had a chance to think. All kinds of thoughts raced through my mind. I thought about my family and the fact that I didn't come through, the life style we are used to could all be downsized. Not that its a problem but the two week vacations we often took would be eliminated. Growing up I never had enough fight when it came to what I wanted to do. Playing it cool was my thing because I was comfortable in my surroundings. I was pushed to be a writer by a inmate by the name of Ed. I worked down state at the Delaware Correctional Center and would show Ed my writings. The brother stood Six foot six with muscle that was built over the time spent there. He was the head facilitator for the program that spoke to trouble youth headed for jail. I worked in the internal affairs department and would often sit in and listen to the positive things the inmates

had to say. Their words would pierce the kids soul in hopes of deterring one kid from dramatically changing his life. I learned something new every time I sat in the visiting room with the counselors. I showed some of my writings to Ed and he would tell me to keep pushing. He would look down on my five foot five frame with hope that I would make a difference some how. That type of encouragement from a man who barely knows me but saw something in me made me take inventory of my life.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

I boarded the train for the forty five minute trip back home to a empty house. My wife and kids were off to Disney World and to my wifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cousin's home in Orlando for two weeks. I chose not to go so I could try and work on my next book. I would start and stop and recycle the moment all over again. Nyla's idea was starting to be appealing to me the more I thought about it. What did I have to lose? I thought to myself. I am cornered and trying to get another deal I assumed would be tougher than the first one I got. My agent Lisa made it clear it would be a rough road if I am dropped. She emphasize that the literary world isn't feeling those types of books that I love to write. My chronic depression started to set in and I was fresh out of medicine. Self pity hung around me like a brown nosser at a corporation if I didn't take my medicine. I remembered that I was supposed to have picked up my medicine at the Happy Harry's Drug store. However I had the frame of mind two days prior that I didn't need it

anymore and I had control of my being. I enter the empty house to grab a drink of water before walking down the street to the Happy Harry's. I could feel my self getting depressed and angrier by the moment. My other existing ailments were on the verge of displaying their power on my body. Type 2 Diabetes and high blood pressure was equally debilitating to my normal way of thinking. Finally relief and I could feel the calm relaxation of what modern medication could provide, thank God. My wife Tee would often tell me that I am playing a medical russian roulette, by skipping days or shorting the dosage that I should be taken. I have always approached life living on the edge; I had no choice coming up in the inner city. I believe I have two personalities that were very distinctive from each other. Most people saw the fun loving guy who could charm anyone with boyish play, the other was non approachable man who wore a scowl on my face, that would show up on .., and scare people away from me.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

While attending Richard R. Wright elementary school in one of the roughest neighborhood in North Philadelphia, my second grade teacher made a profound statement that I kept in my memory. She was a short white woman with short red hair, skin with freckles. Along with that she had a low tolerance for black kids with a 100% black student filled school. I was the constant talker I admit , the shortest and loudest of the crowd but fitted in with no problem with out having to prove it. Mrs. Shayhorn would write notes home to my parents every Friday to make my weekends a living hell. I remembered at the bottom of the page there would be a long red line to make sure I wouldn't try to erase it. I took many ass whooping because of those notes, they always ruined my weekend of playing with my boys. "Raymond constantly talks to much. Please speak to him about this problem," they would say. The walk home was slow and scary. After a while I think my mother was getting suspicious. She would would go around the corner to 2317 W. Sergeant Street, Ms. Gwen's

house to ask my boy Herb what I was doing in class. I remember Herb telling my mother, "Slang, Cho didn't do anything in class. I don't think she likes him." Another Friday would roll around and as usual this time if I got a note home it would jeopardize my trick or treating for Halloween that night with my friend. "Raymond, please come to my desk." I had this mean look on my face. It was my way of enduring the pain that Muscle my stepfather was about to put on me.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

I walked to her brown desk that was by the window in the back of the room. She looked me in my face with her deep blue eyes and told me to take this note home, "demon." I remembered my eyes widen and the classroom sighed. I did everything not to cry in front of her. I walked back to my seat and sat next to Herb. He told me he was going to tell my mom what had happen. I am not sure if my parents would have believed me or he was looking out for his best friend since the age of three. He knew the stuff that was going on in my house and he was going out on a limb for me, I later discovered. My mom came home from work to pick me up from Ms. Gwen's. Herb's older sister and brother, Lisa and Curtis would walk us home. I cried the whole time I was there because I knew I was going to get a whooping. My mother came through the door, tired. "What's wrong, Cho?" Lisa and Curtis rush to tell my mother what happened in school that day. My mother was shocked that a teacher would say that to a kid.

"Don't worry about it," she told me. I was still crying because I thought I would be able to go out with the rest of the kids. I definitely was fooled that day. Not only was I allowed to go out, I spent the night over Herb's house. Monday morning came and on that crisp day and I knew my mother was coming to the school. I gave Mrs. Shayhorn the signed note and watched her sly reaction. To me she was the wicket one. Change was on its way when Celeste knocked on the classroom door. The typical reactions were, “who’s mom is that?” I was the quiet one and people figured out that it was my mother. Mrs. Shayhorn and my mother stepped into the hallway for a little chat. From that point on I didn’t have another issue from Mrs. Shayhorn. Those notes were now turned into I was a pleasure to have in class.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

I sat down to relaxed and listen to one of my favorite groups in my favorite chair that just happened to be a black leather desk chair. I turned around away from my computer to cut on the system anticipating every instrument that was about to be in surround sound in my office. A few clicks of finding the exact changer number and it was off into a deep grooves up-tempo and slow, it didn't matter it was my way of beginning my true work. My thinking process was at full motion; however it was being interrupted with today's activities of what took place in Philly. 'Shining Star' by the elements, Earth Wind and Fire came on. My brown narrow face lit up as the guitar stung along letting me the listener know that this is going to take me places, even after listening for the thousand time. My wife brought me the box set called The Eternal Dance a couple of Christmases ago, she saw it at the Best Buy electronic store and knew it was me. A three disc set of timeless jams that if they were played at any grown folks club you will get the instant reaction from the

women shouting, "that's my jam!" My head dropped and my arms positioned like a air guitar playing along, seg-waying into the trumpets that Maurice White had directed to come on que. "Yeah, hay uh. When you wish upon a star...a dream will take you very far, yeah." Maurice sang with enthusiasm to a point he demanded you to believe in your self. Instantly I felt that this is what I needed to get out of my depression. Music cured the headaches along with the ills of life. Music made me feel alive and spawned the creativity and God given ability to let the world know I am here. I pulled the business card that Nyla gave me from my wallet. The urge to call her about the book started to take form in my mind in between bobbin my head while twirling the white card stock in my hand. The raised letters on the card felt like an artificial instrument as the music played while my eyes was shut.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

Pondering this moment of clarity that could shape me for better or worse is a type of marriage that can not afford to be on the rocks; my career is on the line. The business card was in my hand to a point that the once white card was now a light shade of gray from my finger prints. I opened my eyes only to see the tiny needle marks on my right hand from the the testing of my sugar for my diabetes. Being diabetic left those little reminders of the quick pinch of pain to get a crucial reading was something I would never get use to. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed the number 227-8178. The phone had a Take 6 song on it. I thought it was a little odd for that song to be playing. Most cell phone's I called to family and friends had some hip hop tune to enjoy or fume at while waiting for someone to pick up the phone. "Hello?" "Hello this is Ray. May I speak to Nyla?" I slump down in my chair preparing my mind to discuss her idea. "This is Nyla, I am glad you called."

"Yes. Listen, I made up my mind." "Ok?" There was a pause on the phones. "I am ready to do this." "I didn't think you were going to call this soon." "Me either. When can we meet?" I ask. I was running out of time and wanted to preserve my status in the literary world. "We can meet at the Border's Books by Toys R Us?" "Sure, what time?" I checked my watch and the dial displayed 3:00 PM "How about 6:00. Make sure you tell your wife you are meeting with me. Bring her along if you like." My eyebrows raised. I was in awe of the type of respect she was giving me and my wife. "I appreciate that," I told her. "The first thing you have to learn about me is, I am all business. I don't ever want to shake the water and wake a gator. I would like for you to discuss our business relationship with her, you know?" "Most definitely. So I will see you then. Bring your laptop or writing utensils. Oh by the way you have to buy me a cup of coffee."

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

We both laughed and hung up the phone. Wasting time when it came to business was not a thing that I would take lightly even though I was a chronic procrastinator. I took a shower around 4:30 to time my self perfectly to be present for my appointment. Being late is a definite no-no. As soon as I got out my cell phone rang. "Hello, daddy" My daughter Tee said. "Hey Bozi-Nobles what's up?" "Nothing we having a great time in Florida. We miss you. Mommy misses you too." "She does? No way." "Huh huh," she said playfully. I couldn't stop smiling while enjoying her. "Where's your mom?" "Right here. Hold on." "Hello Peebo," she said calling me her pet name for me. "Hey Weez. What's going on?" "Nothing too much. We having a good time. Shorty and Joann's house is really big. The weather is hotter than it is in Delaware. I wish you could have came." "Me too. I think I may fly out on Monday." "Really!" She sounded surprise.

"You should have came with us, big head." "I know but I had a little time to get my self together. I have a project that I am about to start. I am not sure if will get me back on top where I was but I trust that God will lead me down the right path." There was a pause of meditation. I could feel her praying for me. Tee's very heartbeat was thumping through the phone. "You there?" "Yes. I was thinking." "No you were praying." We both laughed. I finally sat down at the edge of the bed trying to dry off. The phone was between my left shoulder and head. "You're right I was. I am glad you are coming down. I was feeling right speaking at the Pentecostal Convention without you there."

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

"You have Ray Ray with you. He could have stood in my place." "Peebo, I know but I wanted my husband there." I looked up in the ceiling. Looking for answers to life's work always has to begin looking up, so that those blessing could come down from the Lord. "I will be there. Tell Shorty he has to pick me up. I am going to purchase the tickets tonight when I get back." "Where you going. Well I have a meeting. I don't want to jinx it but I think its going to work. This will be a different type of book. The one that I always talked about with you. I am letting the Lord guide me this time, well not like he didn't before but I feel different about this." "Ok I trust you. Make sure you call me back when you get in." "I will. Love you." "Love you too, little Wayman Tisdale." My wife has a million pet names for me. Its gotten to a point that I wonder if she still knows what my real name is. I know she does, but it would be a shock for her to say it just like

my mother would call and say "Cho" instead of "Raymond." I left the house after dressing in a pair of white basketball shorts with my new Kobe Bryant shoes, no socks and a Air Jordan logo shirt. I made it to the Borders in a matter of no-time. I browsed the magazines and waited for Nyla to show up. "Ray!" I herd my name. I looked to the left and the right and didn't notice anybody I would recognized. "Ray! Ray! Over here!" I looked around again and saw a head hiding behind a Apple laptop. After placing the magazine back on the shelf I slowly walked in the area next in the cafe' section of the store. "Ray!" She said once more and tried to hide again, but I was standing there asking her what was she doing. Nyla began to laugh and slap her legs with joy. I gave her a curious look and ask could I sit. You could smell the perfume flowing from her and the bright yellow, oranges and white colors on her summer dress made the store seem brighter and more relaxing to be in.

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

"Sure, take a seat." "I can see you're prepared. Very professional" "Thank you. Ok I am not sure how we are going to do this but the one thing I know is that we have to hammer this out before we leave. So with that being said, Border's doesn't closed until eleven and since we both are early let's work." I agreed with her and ordered a diet soda. Nyla was driving something and dare not ask. The store was pretty packed for a Friday evening as always. I like to call it nerd central. A place a geek or book-worms can come and get their knowledge on. "Ray I came up with a concept of you talking about about people or things that influence you." "Really? That sounds boring, who in the hell wants to know about me?" I stared at her inviting eyes and I could tell she was serious about what she told me. "Let me explain. From what I have learned about you, you are a great story teller. You love the attention and have people transfixed on you as you tell compelling life stories." I felt

uneasy and slouch down in the chair. The moment was becoming the moment for me in a negative light. "Nyla I don't like it. I mean can we make up something? Why does it have to be true?" "Why not be true. People are always shouting, 'keep it real' well here is your chance. This could be a self help tool to have someone look back on who made them who they are today. Its your chance to help bring up moments of their lives and have people explore strengths and weaknesses that brought on motivation." "No!"

PAIDEIA DIGITAL STING MONTHLY NOVEL

By Cho Woods

We sat at the table quiet for about 10 minutes. I shifted my focus to people walking in the store. I could change my mood at the drop of a dime and it may not be good if you are the person on the other side of the chaos I had conjuring up in my mind. I called it my Napoleon moments. My selfish nature from being a only child who never had it all like some may think a only child should have. My moods were my addiction or my black out moments as I look for forgiveness when I was done being into me and not considering other people feelings. "Is that what you do when your mad?" I tried to ignore my rook friend who had no idea what the hell she was talking about. "Did you hear me?" She said facing the screen of the computer. I notice her voice was stern from the second question she ask me. "Are you talking to me?" "You and I are the only ones at this damn table. I told you Ray I know more about you than you think." "Forget that! Who are you talking to? I told you I am not

doing a book about me!" My eyes brows arched downwards preparing for fight mode. "Angry man. Isn't that what some of your former co-workers use to call you?" "Whatever. You still don't know me, regardless of what some one told you about me." "Ok. So back to my first question, now that I was able to get you to talk, is that how you look when you get mad?" I paused and sat up trying to regain my composure. "What do you mean?" I grabbed a napkin that was sitting on the table. I began to fold the napkin trying to crease the multi-layer napkin. My eyes began to focus hard due to me being a little angry. The switch was turned on and I realized that this would leave a bad first impression on how I really am.

PAIDEIA By Cho Woods

"I see what you are doing. You are trying to get me to a point just to see what I will say or do. The angry man statement I think was a little over the top. I am here to help you. Your calm demeanor with your black slim rim reading glasses makes you look more like a person who is digging for something. You aren't that same person who I met in Philly. You know how to push my buttons. Why you would want to do that is beyond me." Nyla had a apple that was sitting on a piece of paper. Her high cheek bones were raised and then lowered with every chew she took of the apple. She was strange and I had to leave. This positive date was becoming more that I could bare. My blood pressure was rising and I needed to lay down. "Are you angry?" I said nothing. I cracked a smile at her and told her good luck on her project and to take care. see if she was following me or not. I didn't really care. I wanted to get home so I could pack for Florida. “Keep on running!” I turned quickly and gave her a crazy look. After looking around at the people in the store, I realized that yelling to get my 29

point across was not the thing to do. “I am sorry, what did you say?” Nyla eyes looked up at me and dance with excitement. It seems as though she enjoyed irritating me. “Ray, I don’t like to repeat me self, but because you are helping me, I am going to make a exception. What I said was keep running, like you usually do!” I walked closer to the table and place my knuckles on the table and leaned towards her. She didn’t budge. “Why would you say that?” I was trying to be calm and hold my anger. “Listen Ray. I want to do this project with you badly. Every time something doesn’t go your way, you can catch a attitude and walk out or yell at someone. Did you know when you show anger that is out of control, you are giving people control of your life?” I sat down in the chair and remained silent. Her confidence and strength was evident and how could I walk away from this when I needed her as much as she needed me.

PAIDEIA By Cho Woods

“You win,” I told her. I threw up my hands and conceded. “Now lets get back to business.” “Cool. Lets began.” I looked into her eyes and saw the passion she has. I didn’t like not being in control. Things were happening so quickly. To follow her lead was totally new for me. Nyla basically was here to my rescue.

focus on what was needed to come out right. Being honest with my feelings was the most important thing for me because I tend to wear it on my sleeves. With my words being documented it would be no different. I didn’t see much of my father growing up. My mother was angry with Ray-Ray as she still calls him to this day. For all the pain my father She cut on the digital recorder and caused my mother early in my life, grabbed a Bic ink pen from off of the the tables were turned the day his mother was buried. table. “Ok Ray this is the way we are My grandmother loved my going to try this. The book will not mother almost like she was her own be structured from the beginning to daughter. They would hang out and the end. I am going to ask you a take bus trips and enjoy the day. The series of questions. The questions would talk for hours like mother and will be formally structured later by daughter a void that my mother had filled since her own mother was the editor and me with your final killed in a car accident when I was approval. I want to make this clear, three. My grand mother Lois had four you have total control over this boys, John the oldest, Charles who project. Deal?” died a year earlier, Raymond and “Deal.” I told her. We shook Tyrone. Those boys depended and hands and went into this project old loved my grandmother and so did I. school. No contract just a mutual agreement and understanding that we Since she passed I get a little both are trying to get to a common depress thinking about the holiday’s place. and my birthday. She would call me and say good morning in her soft “Let’s began. Tell me about the saddest day of your life? Before you voice and tell me, ‘happy birthday grandson.’ I expected it now I only began, I want you to go deep to the have a vivid recording inside of me times you wish never happen in order that does it automatically. to bring out the times that did happen,” Nyla told me. I sat back in the chair, squinting almost falling backwards onto the carpet. I began to 30

PAIDEIA By Cho Woods

On that cold day I took a picture of my father standing in the dirt as the casket was about to be lowered into the ground.

My father’s body heat migrated from his body to mine to warm my soul. It was an experience that I would never forget. God allow her to transcend from heaven for the I remembered walking over to last time to warm our hearts and him in my black trench winter coat minds with memories of her. The 4 with suit on, shivering and sniffing foot 10 inch angelic soul, who was from the cold and crying. The mud half black and Crow Indian stood caressed my shoes, I remembered as I with me and my dad. I could feel the looked down careful not to step in chills rise on my arms one of the small puddles. I was sad to see my dad in this state of mourning. I respected his space and allow I have always known him to be him to reflect in his moment and strong in his stance only to see him joined the rest of the Garvin Family weak when his demons demanded and friends. I huddle next to my that he hit the pipe. mother who was only a inch taller than my grandmother. She offered I believed my father was her me a single rose that was handed out favorite. I guess it is true what the while I was with my father. horoscopes say. If you believe in astrology, it says that the name I took a rose from my mother Raymond means protector. who stood and waited with tears in her eyes that dripped down on her fur “Dad. You alright?” I asked. coat that sway with the wind. I He looked to his left with a grey whispered, “I am not throwing mines, hooded sweatshirt over his freshly mom. I am keeping it.” She told me shaved bald head. He couldn’t afford that was fine as I smuggled the rose a suit so he paid his respects and love in my coat pocket as a reminder of that day with jeans, a NBA patched my grandmother’s day of rest. I Jacket and dried tear tracks on his sniffled and breathe out only to cheek “Yeah son,” he responded with follow the fake smoke in the air rise a crack in his voice. I couldn’t find in front of me. the connection at that time to embrace him with a hug for comfort, but I realized that is how the Garvin DNA was structured.

PAIDEIA By Cho Woods