The Beaver: Week of December 11th, 2012

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UKIP AND THE CONSERVATIVES | TERMLY SATIRE EDITION | A TALE OF TWO WOMEN IN AMERICA

TheBeaver

11.12.2012

Newspaper of the LSE Students’ Union FREE

Blind drunk by 10:00am Liam Brown and Hayley Fenton

Members of the London School of Economics Athletics Union celebrated Carol on Friday, as they marched throughout Central London in costumes consuming copious amounts of alcohol. The annual event, a Christmas celebration and one of the most anticipated social events of the AU year, has been known in previous years for its bouts of heavy drinking, and this year was QR GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW 5HYHOOHUV VHW RŕŽ‰ DV HDU ly as 7:30am in search of alcohol to consume before meeting at the LSE at around 10:00am. In spite of the early drinking, it seems this year was rather a tame Carol with no property damaged reported. Despite this, LSE students were chastised by the Daily Mail for their Continued on page 8, col 1.

1XPEHU RI EXUVDULHV R૸ HUHG E\ /6( LQFUHDVHV All UK/EU home undergraduates are entitled to the The London School of Eco- bursary provided that their nomics has succeeded in parental income falls into widening access to students the relevant brackets. from poorer backgrounds, There has been a notable the Beaver can reveal. increase in people in receipt Numbers of students in of the largest bursaries, stureceipt of bursaries in the dents with parents who earn academic year 2011-2012 less than ÂŁ24,000 a year. increased by nearly a third Forty three students of in comparison to the previ- incomes between 0-ÂŁ3,000 ous years. were granted the full burUp until the academic sary amount of ÂŁ2,500 last year 2011-2012, the LSE year, up from thirty six on RŕŽ‰ HUHG EXUVDULHV RI XS WR the previous year. ÂŁ2,500 for students with inHowever, it does not surcomes below ÂŁ50,000. pass the 52 students who The scheme was designed EHQHன WHG IURP WKH PD[L to ensure that students from mum bursary previously in low income or poor socio- 2009-2010. economic backgrounds Overall, the LSE spent were not deterred from ap- ÂŁ451,506 in the year 2011plying to the top university 2012 in providing these burbecause of tuition fees.

Nona Buckley-Irvine

saries to students at the university. Figures suggest that the LSE is outperforming its main rivals, the University of Oxford and the University of Cambridge by far and large. $FFRUGLQJ WR 2))$ ன J ures, in 2010-2011 20.8 per cent of students admitted to the LSE were in receipt of full state support. Oxford managed to muster 14.7 per cent, whereas only 12.8 per cent of students from Cambridge were in receipt of full state support. 7KHVH ன JXUHV KRZHYHU only apply to students who joined LSE prior to the increase of tuition fees to £8,500.

The scheme, designed in 2009, had the aim to “encourage an increase in the number of applications from good candidates from poorer backgroundsâ€?, according to their agreement made with OFFA. Figures obtained by the Beaver show that the School has succeeded in achieving this. 6WDŕŽ‰ IDFH IUHVK FKDOOHQJ es now with the new tuition fees of ÂŁ8,500 posing a potential threat to the number of applications and admissions of students from disadvantaged backgrounds. To combat this, the LSE has launched a more generous scheme, with maximum bursaries of ÂŁ3,500 being RŕŽ‰ HUHG UDWKHU WKDQ WKH SUH

vious ÂŁ2,500. Discounts on tuition fees as part of the National Scholarship Programme 163 DUH DOVR EHLQJ RŕŽ‰ HUHG E\ WKH 6FKRRO LQ RUGHU WR RŕŽ‰ set the increase in fees. Figures for 2012-2013 entry are not available for the new intake, so it remains to be seen whether the generous bursary scheme will continue to attract applications from students from less privileged backgrounds. The Beaver would also like to note that these bursaries are only applicable to students who made themVHOYHV HOLJLEOH IRU WKLV ன QDQ cial assistance: it should not be taken to be representative of the student body as a whole.

visit us online at thebeaveronline.co.uk and at twitter.com/beaveronline

Editorial

2

Editorial Board Executive Editor Liam Brown

editor@thebeaveronline.co.uk

Managing Editor Matthew Worby

11.12.2012

7KHBeaver Established in 1949 Issue No. 781

managing@thebeaveronline.co.uk

News Editors Low Shu Hang John Armstrong Hayley Fenton news@thebeaveronline.co.uk

Telephone: 0207 955 6705 Email: editor@thebeaveronline.co.uk Website: www.thebeaveronline.co.uk

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Features Editor Chris Rogers Nona Buckley-Irvine features@thebeaveronline.co.uk

Social Editor Cleo Pearson social@thebeaveronline.co.uk

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The Beaver would like to thank the LSE students who contributed to this issue. Any opinions expressed herein are those of their respective authors and not necessarily those of the LSE Students’ Union or Beaver (GLWRULDO 6WD૸

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Front page image courtesy Fleet River Bakery.

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PETTING ZOO Alex Peters-Day cordially invites you to join her in a heavy petting session. It will involve reindeer and a special someone as Santa. This festive occasion will go down on December 14th. There will be alcohol involved.

7KHBeaver Beaver

A E Dawson, A Doherty, A Fyfe, A Krechetova, A L Cunningham, A L Gunn, A Moneke, A X Patel, A Peters-Day, A Qazilbash, A Riese, A Sulemanji, A Young, B Arslan, B Butterworth, B Clarke, B Nardi, C S Russell, C V Pearson, D McKenna, D Ming, D Yu, E Beaumont, E Delahaye, E E Fraser, E Firth, E S Dwek, F Bennett, G K Chhina, G MannersArmstrong, H Brentnall, H Burdon, H Dar, H Fenton, H J Sheppard, I Lorandou, I M Silver, J Allsop, J Attueyi, J Austin, J Curtis, J M Palmer, J M Still, J R Peart, J Stoll, J Tindale, J V Armstrong, J Wacket, J Yarde, K C Hughes, K Kenney, K Pezeshki, K Rogers, K Singh, L A Yang, L Atchison, L Aumeer, L Brown, L Kang, L Slothuus, L Vardaxoglou, M C +H૸ HUQDQ 0 )OHWFKHU 0 -HQNLQV M Veale, M Worby, N Antoniou, N J Buckley-Irvine, N Jaroszek, N Mashru, N Mateer, N Russell, P Gederi, R A Coleman, R Al-Dabagh, R Browne, R Cucchiaro, R Gudka, R Hamer, R Holmes, R Illingworth, R J Charnock, R Serunjogi, S Chaudhuri, S Desai, S Gale, S H Low, S Lindner, S Newman, S Nissila, S Poojara, S R Williams, S Sebatindira, S W Leung, S Hang Low, T Poole, V A Wong, V Chan, X T Wang, Z Sammour

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PartB Editor Venessa Chan Josh Jinruang

Merry Christmas

| The Beaver

Always look on the bright side of life Thank the lord it’s Week Ten. No more essays, no more presentations and no more editorials. The latter point is probably what most people will be thankful for. If you check your emails regularly you will probably know that there is a winter animal celebration happening on Houghton Street this Friday. We have been promised reindeer on campus and an appearance by Director Calhoun as Santa Claus. Come out for some hot chocolate and mince pies, it will be a nice way to FDS RŕŽ‰ D VWHOODU WHUP When we all come back in January enthused and ready-

to-go, we at the Beaver hope a number of things can be accomplished. The Students’ Union is about to receive ÂŁ800,000 from the School to use as ன QDQFLDO DVVLVWDQFH IRU VWX dents, hopefully this scheme will be implemented quickly and efficiently. We are also hoping the /6( /LEUDU\ FDQ ன QG D ZD\ to better accommodate students during the construction that is ongoing. If the facility was packed during Michaelmas Term, then it will no doubt be even worse as we come closer to exam time. Then there is the old bas-

ket-case that is the weekly Union General Meeting. The current chair, Jay Stoll, is at his wits’ end over the lack of interest in the Union’s sovereign body. While we understand his concerns, we do hope the UGM will be maintained weekly. Despite the lack of attendance, it is still the most effective way of holding our Sabbatical Officers to account. Although we have some concerns with how Lent Term could start, we encourage everyone to have a nice, restful break and come back with vim and vigour.

2ŕŽ‰ HQGHG" (PDLO us! editor@thebeaveronline.co.uk

8QLRQ %DVKÄ? Fail Dammit Daily Mail, since when did Jabberwockies look like teddy bears? %DVKÄ? LV WKH %HDYHU‍ڑ‏V KDLNX SRHW +H FOHDUO\ GRHV QRW NQRZ WKH GLŕ­ź HU HQFH EHWZHHQ DQ (ZRN DQG DQ $8 ODG LQ D IXUU\ RQHVLH

News

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

3

UGM to be abolished? John Armstrong

A debate will be held this week on whether to abolish the weekly Union General Meeting (UGM). The debate marks the end of months of SRRU DWWHQGDQFH DQG LQGLŕŽ‰ HU ence among the student body, with last Thursday’s UGM being cancelled altogether due to “dismal attendance.â€? Writing in the Beaver, Jay Stoll, Chair of the UGM, argued that “it is time for a referendum.â€? “From disenchantment to disregard, from apathy to absolute anonymity, the situation is now so dire I’d guess conservatively that fewer than twenty per cent of undergraduates could tell you what it isâ€? said Stoll. The Chair of the UGM also outlined the reasons why turnout has been so low in recent years. “In my three years at the LSE, not one set of Sabbs, whether ‘moderate’ or ‘progressive’ have got it right.â€? “The hard-leftists have alienated the rest of the student body and the post-Kumarists simply haven’t bothered,â€? argued Stoll. He added that, “The regularity of these [the UGM] meetings is ridiculous,â€? and that the UGM should be held once per month instead. A debate will be held this Thursday in an attempt to open up a discussion concerning the future of the UGM. Students will be encouraged to voice their opinions and to bring their suggestions on whether the UGM should continue on a weekly basis.

A second year BSc Actuarial Sciences student felt positively about abolishing the weekly UGM. “I think it is ridiculous that lectures and classes aren’t allowed to be held on Thursday 1:00 pm just because twenty people wish to have meaningless debates

“Although it may seem meaningless, if more LSE students participated in what are sometimes interesting debates, the UGM would be both PRUH OLYHO\ DQG PRUH LQŕŽ‹ XHQ tial in changing the shape of our Union,â€? argued BuckleyIrvine.

student politics.� Alex Peters-Day outlined the democratic procedure for abolishing the weekly UGM, stating that “there would have to be a referendum.� Currently the constitution states that the Students’ Union must have ten UGMs eve-

Union� was proposed by Lukas Slothuus, the previous Students’ Union Community and Welfare Officer. The motion sought to amend the Students’ Union’s Bye-Laws in response to dwindling UGM attendance this year. The motion stated that “the present system of on-

that have no impact on students whatsoever.� However, Nona Buckley-Irvine, a second year Philosophy student stated that “the UGM is critical to scrutinising the Student Union and keeping highly paid sabbatical officers to account.�

The member of the Academic Board also stated that “people don’t attend because they don’t think that they can LQŕŽ‹ XHQFH WKH 6DEEV WKH\ FDQ Whilst the UGM won’t advance people’s career aspirations, this is our only opportunity to engage in the bizarre world of

ry academic year, and so far eight UGMs have been held in the 2012/13 academic year. It would be a matter for the democracy committee to decide if there shouldn’t be a weekly UGM. Earlier this year, a motion entitled “UGM-Centre of our

line voting, rendering attendance at the UGM immaterial, is a strong contributing factor to low turnout at the UGM.� Although the motion passed with 64 per cent for and 23 per cent against, it failed to improve attendance at the UGM.

UNION JACK Jack must have overdone the opium this week, but he wants to recount a strange dream he had. The heavy silence of a broken bell rang along Houghton Street on Thursday, calling the ghosts of students past to take their seats for the UGM. Only the echoes of glories past and triumphs faded needed attend; a shade presided, a spirit minuted, the ghosts of Adelstein and Bloom wept as they took their places near the stair. Your humble Jack, already a foot on the Plutonian shore, cast around for life but only old order papers, yellowed DQG FXUOLQJ ŕŽ‹ XWWHUHG GRZQ The UGM was cancelled. Evidently, there were no mo-

tions, the Sabbs had nothing to say and no-one was expected to ask any questions. It just became easier not to have the UGM. Surely this must be the work of the narcotic milk, and not a reality? Here is one question that could usefully have been asked: Mombi wants the Court of Governors to be recorded. How do Dorothy & Co. feel about that? Heaven forfend that a motion could have been brought in to actually set policy on the issue. Jack doesn’t think, though, that he’s seen Mombi at a single Munchkin Meeting. While the Munchkin Meeting is often high farce, it is occasionally high drama - or, it

used to be, when it occupied the centre of political life on campus. Jack remembers those heady days - certainly, there was ribald humour and it was probably not the Pnyx of your correspondent’s fever-dream. Nevertheless, it sustained itself from week to week. The lack of motions, unreasonable quorum and lack of interest from the hiHUDUFK\ HŕŽ‰ HFWLYHO\ FKRNH LW RŕŽ‰ +RZHYHU WKLQNV WKHUH is still interest in the Meeting; videre licet, lector, the numbers when the Sun was debated. Jack doesn’t know whether this is symptom or cause; Jack suspects it both. If the Meeting is in a vicious circle, that circle must be broken from outside; Doro-

thy, the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Woodsman, the Scarecrow and the Guardian of the Gates have the opportunity to be that force. Certainly, Jack recalls Dorothy saying how special the Meeting was at an induction, and how it made us GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW IURP HYHU\RQH HOVH There are some changes that need to be made; let us hope those changes are made at the earliest date at which they can be brought through. Jack hopes that there won’t be another Thursday at which his only companions are yellowing papers and past glories. “Jackâ€?

4

News

11.12.2012

| The Beaver

EasyJet founder talks entrepeneurship Last Thursday, the LSE SU Entrepreneurs Society hosted one of Europe’s most successful entrepreneurs, Sir Stelios Haji-Ioannou. The LSE alumnus and serial entrepreneur returned to his alma mater to give a talk on philanthropy and entrepreneurship. Widely known as the founder of EasyJet, a low cost airline company, Haji-Ioannou has also founded EasyBus, EasyHotel and many other franchises of the Easy brand afterwards. At the same time, he is running a philanthropic foundation. He made it clear from the outset that he would be talking about both philanthropy and entrepreneurship. “It is about making money, but also about giving back to society.â€? Talking to about 250 attendees, Haji-Ioannou was quick to admit he wouldn’t be where he is now without the help of his father. His father was a successful entrepreneur himself DQG KH ன QDQFHG KLV VRQ‍ڑ‏V ன UVW venture at the young age of 28. He named his Father as a source of inspiration for him. “It was a classic case of a son trying to prove himself to his father with some friendly competition, but he helped me a lot. Can you imagine how

risky it is to give your son a lot of money to start an airline at 28? I’m not sure I would do it.â€? Haji-Ioannou also admitted WKDW OXFN ZDV D VLJQLன FDQW IDF tor in his success, but not the GHன QLQJ RQH +H TXRWHG 6RXWK African golfer Gary Player that “the harder you practice, the

lised industries are often broken up by innovative entrepreneurs. In the airline industry, it happened in the US in the 80s, in Europe in the 90s, Asia in the 00s and now it is beginning to happen in Africa. Being a founder rather than a manager himself, Haji-

branched out into industries that relate well to the airline core of the Easy brand such as real estate, hotels and airport transfers. His latest foray is into the world of collaborative consumption with EasyCars, a car sharing service. After addressing his vari-

luckier you get,� and explained that he worked very hard to achieve his ideas. Regarding his business model of undercutting more established businesses with innovative business models, Haji-Ioannou sees himself in a big historical line of entrepreneurship. He pointed out that in the past 40 years, monopo-

Ioannou stepped back from the running EasyJet once it was traded on the London Stock Exchange, hiring experienced managers to do the job instead. Nevertheless, he retained the ownership of the Easy brand, licensing it back to EasyJet and went on to found a variety of other companies carrying the “Easy� label. He has also

ous business ventures, Haji-Ioannou talked about the philanthropic activities he has been involved in. He is personally related to three countries: Cyprus, the home country of his parents; his birthplace Greece DQG ன QDOO\ WKH ORFDWLRQ RI KLV business activities, the United Kingdom. To give something back to these countries, Ste-

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Bjoern Wolf & Jack Bridger

lios founded the Stelios Philanthropic Foundation, providing help to entrepreneurs who are IDFLQJ H[FHSWLRQDO GLŕŽŒ FXOWLHV Moreover, he runs a competition for disabled entrepreneurs in the UK, one for young Entrepreneurs in Greece and a business competition in Cyprus. For the competition in Cyprus, he only funds teams consisting of people from both sides of the divided Cyprus, in a bid to bring people from both sides closer together and promote good relations between them. Despite the social aspect of it, he stressed that the competition does not award based on pity, but on excellence. Haji-Ioannou praised the Anglo Saxon education model compared to the southern European universities, which happen to be more laid back. Being one of the largest providers of scholarships at the LSE, he has pledged to invest ÂŁ3 million for 200 Stelios Scholars. Haji-Ioannou ended his speech with an advice for aspiring entrepreneurs. While he encouraged people to try GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW URXWHV RXW DQG QRW WR plan too far into the future, he stressed that one of his most important experiences as an entrepreneur is to “never bet ZKDW \RX FDQ‍ڑ‏W DŕŽ‰ RUG WR ORVH ‍ڕ‏

Ethics Code should be “embraced by all� Abigail Malortie

over ÂŁ10,000 is subject to an individual assessment as to the source of the funds, and to consideration of any ethical or reputational risks which might arise. Donations over ÂŁ100,000 receive more intensive scrutiny of the relationship between the LSE and the potential funder, whilst those over

of a clearer accountability structures. The Ethics Code consist of “a set of six core principles underpinning life at the LSE,â€? namely responsibility and accountability, integrity, intellectual freedom, respect, collegiality and sustainability. The Code also sets out a series of principles and guidelines under which any donaWLRQ ZKHWKHU RŕŽ‰ HUHG RU VR licited, though excluding UK and US registered charities)

ÂŁ250,000 are automatically, along with lesser donations that raise concerns, referred to the newly formed Ethics (Grants and Donations) Panel. The Panel, made up of LSE academics drawn from a variety of disciplines, considers matters such as the reputation of the funder and whether their DFWLYLWLHV PD\ FRQŕŽ‹ LFW ZLWK WKH LSE’s other objectives, policies or the public interest. Nevertheless, the lack of transparency in the decisions

OPENDEMOCRACY

The London School of Economics is calling for students and VWDŕŽ‰ WR DELGH E\ WKH (WKLFV Code and Ethical Guidelines. In an email sent to all students earlier last month, students were asked to complete a survey, where they were to ‍ڔ‏FRQன UP WKDW \RX KDYH UHDG the Ethics Code and agree to abide by its principles.â€? In the email, it was said WKDW ‍ڔ‏WKH &RGH ZLOO EH HŕŽ‰ HFWLYH only if it is read, understood and fully embraced by all.â€? The Ethics Code, which was approved by the LSE Council earlier this year, was produced IROORZLQJ WKH *DGGDன VFDQGDO In 2011, controversial links between Libya and the LSE was exposed by the media. The acceptance of Colonel *DGGDன ‍ڑ‏V VRQ 6DLI DV D 3K' student in the LSE, the receipt of ÂŁ1.5 million in donations to WKH XQLYHUVLW\ E\ WKH *DGGDன International Charity and Development Foundation, as well as a number of other links between Libya and the university, called into question the judgment not only of individuals within the LSE, but also the reputation of the school as a whole. The ensuing independent Woolf Inquiry, which was published in October 2011, set out clearly that there was no indication that any individual with the LSE had deliberately acted in a manner which they knew to be disadvantageous to the

university. 1HYHUWKHOHVV ன IWHHQ UHF ommendations were made by the report, including the recommendation that an institution-wide Ethics Code be adopted to enable the university to “navigate the ethical and reputational issues which arise in the changed world in which it operatesâ€? in the hope

made by the Ethics Policy Committee (EPC), which oversees both the Ethics Code and the School’s wider ethical framework has raised concerns among students. One student commented, “It’s hard for students to be involved in the ethical decisions made by the school when so little information is available to them.â€? “How are we supposed to know if the school has been abiding by the Ethics Code when there is no report whatsoever?â€? he added. According to a statement from the Press Office, “papers and minutes [from the meetings by the EPC] would not necessarily be suitable for public release because they PD\ FRQWDLQ FRQன GHQWLDO SHU sonal information.â€? Nevertheless, “the expectation is that, where possible, the committee’s work will be publicly communicated.â€? The Press Office added, “it is currently envisaged that there will be an annual report [by the Ethics Policy Committee] to [the LSE] Council, although this may be more frequent if a number of key GHFLVLRQV LQ VSHFLன F DUHDV DUH taken.â€? Alex Peters-Day, General Secretary of the LSESU, said that, as a member of the Ethics Policy Committee, she felt FRQன GHQW LQ WKH UREXVW QDWXUH of its procedures, whilst saying that the reports it receives cannot be made public due to

“commercial sensitivity surrounding certain issues.â€? Naomi Russell, Ethics & Environment Officer of the Students Union said, “Having a [ethics] code does nothing in itself. It is the implementation RI WKHVH QHZO\ FRQன UPHG SULQ ciples that truly matters. Now what we need is for all members of the LSE community to be active in both upholding these principles themselves and actively holding the School to account where it does not in order to ensure that the code is not just words.â€? She added, “Transparency is an integral part of accountability, and it is obviously not possible to combine this with a system where the decision making process is not visible.â€? Asked to comment on the link between the Ethics Code and the culture of the LSE, Director Craig Calhoun said, “The Ethics Guidelines are not just rules and procedures. They are one part of a larger discussion about how we can best live up to our principles. This discussion helps to shape a larger culture as well as to LQIRUP VSHFLன F GHFLVLRQV ‍ڕ‏ He added, “Only a few relatively easy decisions are simply between right and wrong. Most involve competing goods or questions about risks rather than certainties. Making these decisions always demands judgment which is informed by culture but also by open disFXVVLRQ UDLVLQJ GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW YLHZV of an issue.â€?

News

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

5

David Cameron speaks at LSE Conference Ira Lorandou, 6WDŕ­ź 5HSRUWHU

Last week, LSE Cities and Deutsche Bank’s Alfred Herrhausen Society held the Urban Age Electric City Conference. The conference focused on exemplifying how a modern day city takes for granted how electricity “feeds the complex systems which sustain and sometimes spectacularly fail usâ€?. 2Q WKH னUVW GD\ RI WKH FRQ-

age in an increasingly urban world and the challenges that would face infrastructure and policy; a point that was heavily emphasised given that it is estimated 70% of the world’s population will be living in cities by 2050. 7KH UHVW RI WKH னUVW GD\ was divided into two halves. 7KH னUVW KDOI IRFXVHG RQ XUEDQ technology in conjunction with the city’s three main areas of challenges to policy: mobility, space and communication.

will lead to the billion pound industries of the future.� LSE Cities student, Nick Kaufmann, stated that he felt Cameron and Johnson’s presence brought “credence to the event� and made “things that we talk about, which at times can seem lofty, feel important.� The Prime Minister’s announcement set the scene for what would characterise the rest of the day’s discussions. The conference went on to cover the future of the digital

From these main areas arose the concept of “smart citiesâ€? and “successful cities.â€? Questions were raised such as: what has London’s Congestion Charge meant for efficiency in mobility? Has car-sharing meant less construction of car parks and thus more arHDV IRU JUHHQHU\" +DV ZL ன changed the way we share work space? :KLOH WKH னUVW KDOI RI WKH conference argued that technology was a solution to many of the city’s problems, the sec-

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Cameron went on to explain how Old Street Roundabout symbolises the “physical heart of London’s technology cluster,â€? and that the civic space will provide entrepreneurs and start-up businesses facilities and spaces that they need to succeed. Continuing from Cameron, Boris Johnson stated that this space “will be the cyclotron in which brilliant people of all ages will collide like subatomic particlesâ€? proGXFLQJ ‍ڔ‏WKH EOLQGLQJ ŕŽ‹DVK WKDW

ference, Prime Minister David Cameron and Mayor of London, Boris Johnson “gate-crashedâ€? the event to announce a ÂŁ50 million investment in London’s Tech City. With the aid of simulated images of the Tech City, a new civic space at the centre of Old Street Roundabout, Cameron expressed the government’s commitment to make the UK “the best place in the world to start and run, and to grow a technology companyâ€?.

ond half saw the discussion take a more global outlook. The second half of the Electric City Conference emphasised WKDW D ‍ڔ‏WHFKQR ன[‍ ڕ‏ZDV QRW WKH only solution to the city’s problems. It was argued that in the Global South, the vision of the city as a borderless shared space enabled by technology seems very far-fetched. The speakers stated that people in cities are more behind walls in security zones and gated communities as urban crime increases. Wim Elfrink, Chief Globalisation Officer and Executive Vice President for the Industry Solutions Group, Cisco, reminded the conference speakers: “technology is not the solution, but a tool that we need to use. Technological innovation is not much use in the wrong hands, for instance in governments that do not have the wealth to use it.â€? The second day of the conference took a more academic stance on the challenges of urbanisation. Dr David Madden, LSE Lecturer in the Department of Sociology, commented that “the second day did a much better job of addressing questions of inequality and powerâ€?, which he felt were dealt with inadequately in the னUVW GD\ LSE Professor of Sociology, Richard Sennett, painted a picture of a future of less-intelligent city-dwellers. Sennett voiced concerns about how technology is taking away the city’s ability to make individuals smarter in their everyday dealing with complexity. Complexity, Sennett said, ; which is the ‘complex’ nature of the ambiguous and incomplete interaction with strangers which stimulates human beings’ development into a sophisticated adult. According to Sennett, technology robs us of interactions that stimulates social deYHORSPHQW DQG VR ‍ڔ‏VWXSHனHV‍ ڕ‏ us. Debates followed on the role of technology in relation to WKH JURXQG OHYHO HŕŽ‰HFWV RQ FLW\

life. Questions concerning the degrees of “human freedom or statistical fatalismâ€? were raised and it was concluded that these questions presuppose the idea that technology always works. Carlo Ratti, Director of MIT Senseable Lab, raised a valid point that “technology can be used to create things such as a Digital Water pavilion in Zaragoza, Spain, which uses high-tech sensors which don’t always work.â€? The dichotomy of Sennett’s predictions and the realities of technology provided a fruitful discussion regarding the extent to which people play a role in the design and use of technology. Famous architects Richard Rogers, Alejandro Zaera-Polo and Bjarke Ingels emphasised the cyclical relationship with architecture. 7KH னUVW KDOI RI GD\ RQH SURvided a complete closed system of the City; a system that enables the City to be planned and organised to maximum efficiency. However, the conference went on to unravel this view, showing how “messyâ€? cities are and how much the city is only made people, not things, and it is these people and the extent of equality and power within collectivities that determines the nature of each city. The highlight of the second day was Anthony Giddens’ talk on the “high risk and highopportunityâ€? society we live in. Giddens emphasised governance and its responsibility to confront and deal with the realities of climate change. He predicted a future that will be increasingly dominated by energy politics, and called for policies that will build a city which is resilient enough to fully handle Climate Change. The conference concluded with politicians and policy makers questioning how it is possible to pass policy within “18th Century institutionsâ€? that are facing “21st Century problems.â€?

Students celebrate International Week ink calligraphy and Chinese palm reading while the Pakistan society sold cultural Last week, the LSE Students’ items. Union held International On Thursday, an InternaWeek, a “week-long celebrational Food Festival was held, tion of LSE’s incredible diverfeaturing exotic cuisines from sityâ€? on campus. all over the world. Students A series of events were walking through Houghton held in conjunction with InStreet had the chance to samternational Week. ple a variety of food for free, The International Fair held including German gingeron Monday and Tuesday gave bread and Brezeln, Persian cultural societies the opporpastries, and homemade Matunity to spotlight cultural laysian food. information about their counOther events held include tries. Societies taking part in a Cultural Performance and the fair decorated their stalls Karaoke Night in the Tuns on with a wide variety of decoMonday night. rations, making Houghton On the academic side, the Street unusually colourful. Think Tank Society held an 7KH +RQJ .RQJ 3XEOLF $ŕŽ‰DLUV European Union roundtable & Social Service society (HKwith Stephen Tindale, coPASS) showcased traditional founder of the organisation Shu Hang

Climate Answers, whilst the Film Society continued their East Asian Film night with a showing of the Taiwanese னOP ‍<ڔ‏RX $UH WKH $SSOH RI 0\ Eye.â€? International Week ended with the Global Careers Fair in the Quad, giving students an insight into career opportunities and programmes overseas. $FFRUGLQJ WR 'LDQD <X International Students Officer of the Students Union, “International Week added a perky, splash of colour to an otherwise dreary Week 9, and hopefully reminded us how great an asset LSE’s international diversity really is.â€?

6

News

11.12.2012

| The Beaver

/6( SRSXODU ZLWK R૸ HU KROGHUV Shu Hang

Statistics from the London School of Economics reveal that the school remains a popular choice for university applicants, with 66.5 per cent of applicants for the 2012 application cycle holding an offer from the LSE accepting WKH RŕŽ‰ HU Students wishing to study for undergraduate degrees in public higher education institutions in the UK are required to apply through Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS), where they DUH DEOH WR DSSO\ XS WR ன YH courses. In the event that the applicant is successful in two or more of their choices, he/ she can then accept up to two choices, one Firm Acceptance and one Insurance Acceptance, whereas the remainder DUH 'HFOLQHG Out of the applicants that ZHUH RŕŽ‰ HUHG D SODFH DW WKH LSE, 66.5 per cent accepted WKHLU /6( RŕŽ‰ HU LQ ZKLOH 66.4 per cent accepted their RŕŽ‰ HU LQ 7KH ன JXUH LQFOXGH DOO DF FHSWDQFHV LQFOXGLQJ RŕŽ‰ HU holders who put LSE as their ன UVW FKRLFH DQG WKRVH ZKR originally had LSE as their insurance choice and then ac-

FHSWHG WKH RŕŽ‰ HU Nevertheless, there exist D KXJH GLVSDULW\ LQ WKH RŕŽ‰ HU acceptance rate between departments. In the 2012 application cycle, the Management department boasted the highest RŕŽ‰ HU DFFHSWDQFH UDWH LQ WKH school, with 210 out of the 250 (84.0 per cent) successful applicants accepting their /6( RŕŽ‰ HU 7KH 6RFLDO 3ROLF\ departments comes at a distant second (78.4 per cent), followed by the Economic History department (75 per cent). According to the 2013 Complete University Guide Ranking, the LSE ranks secRQG LQ %XVLQHVV 6WXGLHV ன UVW IRU 6RFLDO 3ROLF\ DQG ன UVW IRU Economics. John Armstrong, a second year International Relations student said that he chose /6( DV KLV ன UP FKRLFH DV WR KLP /6( RŕŽ‰ HUV ‍ڔ‏WKH EHVW ,Q ternational Relations course in the UK,â€? and also because the entry requirement was not overly stringent. 72 per cent RI DSSOLFDQWV KROGLQJ RŕŽ‰ HUV from the International Relations department accepted WKHLU RŕŽ‰ HU On the other end of the spectrum, Anthropology (52.17 per cent), Geography

& Environment (50.67 per cent) and International History (53.9 per cent) holds the

ment was due to applicants’ preference regarding the course content.

ORZHVW RŕŽ‰ HU DFFHSWDQFH UDWH among departments. Heather Wang, a third year International History student EHOLHYHG WKDW WKH ORZ RŕŽ‰ HU DF ceptance rate of her depart-

“The History we study at LSE is very international and contemporary. So if you want to focus more on Britain and Europe and the earlier period, you would choose some other

universities. Furthermore, I remember for Warwick History, taking Italian is compulsory, and I actually quite liked that.â€? The 2013 Complete University Guide Ranking shows that the LSE ranks second in Anthropology, Geography & Environmental Science and History, behind the University of Cambridge in all three cases. While the school-wide proportion of successful applicants accepting their LSE RŕŽ‰ HU KDV UHPDLQHG FRQVWDQW from last year, certain departments have saw a drop in their RŕŽ‰ HU DFFHSWDQFH UDWH ,Q WKH RŕŽ‰ HU DFFHSW ance rate for BSc Accounting and Finance dropped from 83.3 per cent to 73.7 per cent, while the rate for the Economic History department dropped from 84.6 per cent to 75.0 per cent. 1HYHUWKHOHVV 'XQFDQ McKenna, LSESU Education Officer was happy with the statistics, saying that “these ன JXUHV VKRZ WKDW /6( UH mains one of the leading universities in the country and attracts some of the brightest minds from across the world.â€?

%LJZLJV GHEDWH KRZ WR VDYH (XURSH twenty years ago to the signing of the Treaty of MaasAs part of a larger series tricht. Gathering all twelve dealing with the current members of the former EuroEuro-crisis, the Old Theatre pean Community, the resulthosted a panel event where ing document set out budgetspeakers addressed the pros- ary convergence criteria and pect of further integration established the creation of a into a political union enti- single European currency. At tled, “the future of the Eu- the time, German negotiaropean Union after the euro- tors expressed concerns that such a mechanism would crisis.â€? First to address the audi- malfunction without an unHQFH ZDV LQŕŽ‹ XHQWLDO (O 3DLV GHUSLQQLQJ SROLWLFDO DQG ன V columnist JosĂŠ Ignacio Tor- cal union. Those concerns reblanca. Advocating more proved to be well-founded, centralisation, he pointed noted the speaker. Today, to some of the obstacles im- that overlooked basis must peding decision-makers dis- be reconstructed. A “parliatinguishing between factors mentisationâ€? of the Eurozone pertaining to “policy, politics is needed whereby a sepaUDWH 3DUOLDPHQW ZRXOG RYHU and polity.â€? His conclusion was graph- see the region’s enhanced ically illustrated in the Ques- ன VFDO WUDQVIHUV 'LVSOD\LQJ tions and Answers session, VROLG FRQன GHQFH LQ KHU EH when a distinction was made liefs, Ms Guenot concluded between the “architectsâ€? that “we will be living in a DQG â€ŤÚ”â€ŹŕŽŠ UHPHQ‍ ڕ‏RI (XURSH YHU\ GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW (XURSH‍ ڕ‏E\ those with a long-term view 2016 if no shocks appear on what to do and those who along the way. A more cautious approach only respond to crises such as government or stock mar- was adopted by Anthony Teasdale, European Union Inket collapses. Ulrike GuĂŠrot, German WHUQDO 3ROLFLHV 'LUHFWRU LQ WKH Representative in the Eu- secretariat of the European ropean Council on Foreign 3DUOLDPHQW 7KH ZLGHO\ FLU Relations, shed light on the culated idea of a “two-speed situation from Berlin’s per- (XURSH‍ ڕ‏GLYLGHG DORQJ ன VFDO spective. According to GuĂŠ- lines would have seemed lurot, Germans may not have dicrous four years ago – or at the correct answer but “they the very least unmentionable have the right discussion.â€? in polite society. Adding to unpredictabilShe took her audience back $QGUD 2UDVDQX

ity is the “executivisationâ€? of European bureaucracy which renders decision making even more inefficient. In times of crisis, a vast team RI ன UHPHQ MXPS LQWR WKH VXP mit to save burning econoPLHV WKH (XURSHDQ &RPPLV sion, European Central Bank, Euro Group of Finance Ministers, and as a latest addition to the team, the International Monetary Fund. Meanwhile, the common SURMHFW VWDJQDWHV $W WKH Brussels summit in late November this year, delegates deliberated on account of a euro budget that represents a meagre 0.1 per cent of total (XURSHDQ *'3 Teasdale’s solution was that “Europe should put its money where its mouth is.â€? According to him, further integration is sorely needed and leaders should acknowledge the fact before the state of the continent worsens. Mark Leonard, Co-FoundHU DQG 'LUHFWRU RI WKH (XUR pean Council on Foreign Relations, came next in line to advocate the cause for political integration. Yet his starting point was as straightforZDUG DV LW ZDV JORRP\ ZH are witnessing a “complete breakdown of the relations EHWZHHQ 3DULV DQG %HUOLQ ‍ ڕ‏ worse than it has been in years. At the root of this fracture

0U /HRQDUG LGHQWLன HG WZR GL verging visions of a political union. On the one hand, Germans push for an overarching authority empowered to control spending in the Eurozone. In this scenario, discussions about taxes should be taken out of the unpredictable factionalism of national debates “so that we can sleep at nightâ€?. On the other hand, France is less enthusiastic about external interference LQ LWV SXEOLF ன QDQFHV

Some members of the public expressed their disappointment at not hearing any other solution apart from political integration. Yet the PDMRULW\ HQMR\HG WKH OHFWXUH DSSURYLQJO\ ‍ڔ‏6SHDNHUV GLG reach the same conclusion,â€? VDLG (PLO\ 3IHLIHU D ன UVW \HDU 06F 6RFLDO 3ROLF\ VWXGHQW “but each of them had a different argument for it.â€?

News

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

7

Lousy exchange rate by LSE costs students ÂŁ150,000 Kelly Quinn

A dollars-to-pounds exchange rate discrepancy is causing mounting concerns among U.S. students receiving federal loans, who have discovered they are losing hundreds of pounds each year as a result. Due to a 2010 U.S. Department of Education (USDE) policy which mandates that funds be delivered to students by LSE within three days, the University has been forced to go through Travelex, a currency FRQYHUVLRQ னUP WR H[FKDQJH the loans into GBP. The loans, therefore, are being converted at a less-than-optimal rate of $1.62/£, compared to the cur-

rent rate of $1.56/ÂŁ. This seemingly innocuous e GLŕŽ‰HUHQFH KRZHYHU KDV KDG D VLJQLனFDQW LPSDFW RQ VWXGHQWV‍ Ú‘â€ŹŕŽŠQDQFHV :DVKLQJWRQ D.C. native and MSc Environment and Development, Kayly Ober, said that the exchange rate cost her around $500, or about ÂŁ320. Calling the situaWLRQ ‍ڔ‏LQWHQVH ‍ ڕ‏VKH KRSHV /6( can work out the issue with Travelex and the USDE. Similarly, Garrick Hileman, an economic history PhD candidate and Research Students Officer of the LSE Students’ Union said that he has lost around $800, or roughly ÂŁ500. Hileman, who brought the issue to the Beaver’s attention, recently noticed the exchange

UDWH GLŕŽ‰HUHQFH RQ LSE for You and contacted the Financial 6XSSRUW 2ŕŽŒFH LPPHGLDWHO\ Considering that approximately 300 LSE students receive U.S. federal loans each year, his “conservative estiPDWH‍ ڕ‏ZDV WKDW WKH\ DUH LQFXUring at least ÂŁ150,000 collectively. Hileman has since discussed the issue with Deputy Financial Controller Simon Sefton, who told him expanding the disbursement window WR னYH GD\V VKRXOG JLYH WKH LSE enough time to handle the conversion on its own at the rate of $1.56/ÂŁ. Although Hileman has been working with the Fees Office to resolve this, the USDE has

EHHQ ‍ڔ‏OHVV WKDQ HQWKXVLDVWLF‍ ڕ‏ to compromise. “Marcus DeCosta, a Supervisor in the Research and Customer Care Center from the Department of Education has acknowledged the issue and said someone from the Foreign Schools Team will be in touch ZLWK PH ‍ ڕ‏VDLG +LOHPDQ ZKR LV still awaiting a response. On the barriers faced by the LSE in dealing with the issue, University spokesperVRQ 3HWHU :LONLQVRQ VDLG ‍ڔ‏8. banks were reluctant to signup to the Loan Programme and overseas universities need a partner institution in the USA that the USDE are prepared to UHPLW ORDQV WR ‍ڕ‏ Travelex, he added, is one

RI WKH RQO\ னUPV WR PHHW WKH criteria set by the USDE, and is used by most other UK institutions to process disbursements. :LONLQVRQ DOVR VDLG WKDW while the University would be willing to work with the Students’ Union to discuss other options, “it is crucial to LSE and its US students that we administer these funds through systems that are secure and UREXVW ‍ ڕ‏:RUNLQJ XQGHU WKH USDE three-day disbursement constraint, however, will make it challenging for students to receive the true spot exchange rate of $1.56/ÂŁ.

STAR discusses unfair treatment of refugees Last Tuesday, the LSESU Student Action for Refugees Society (STAR) promoted the

refugees. Recently in the UK, refugees have been associated with WKH OLNHV RI ‍ڔ‏EHQHனWV VFXP‍ ڕ‏LQ the media. To this, Crowley

Equal Access campaign. The campaign saw Emily Crowley, STAR Volunteering Project Coordinator discussing the UK government’s unjust treatment of asylum seekers and

responded, “People don’t have WKH IDFWV ‍ ڕ‏SRLQWLQJ RXW WKDW in 2011, the UK hosted only 19,984 refugees, drastically less than the popular belief of 170,000 to 180,000.

Arisa Manawapat, 6WDŕ­ź 5HSRUWHU

Furthermore, not everyone TXDOLனHV DV D UHIXJHH ,Q RUGHU to be accepted by the Home Office, an asylum-seeker must pass a two-stage test. Crowley FODLPV WKDW XS WR ‍ ڔ‏SHU FHQW‍ ڕ‏ are rejected from the initial basic interview. Next, the candidate must pass a “substanWLYH LQWHUYLHZ‍ ڕ‏LQ (QJOLVK ZLWK only 15 minutes of contact time with a lawyer. According to STAR, within this process, an asylum seeker can be detained at any time, for LQGHனQLWH SHULRGV /DVW \HDU 10,000 asylum seekers, including small children, were detained in 10 centres throughout the nation. Crowley recalls a meeting with a mother and her 15-year-old daughter, who were taken to a detention centre in a police van. She said that STAR is “still keeping an H\H‍ ڕ‏RQ WKH RQ JRLQJ FKLOG GHtention. Crowley stressed that the detention process carried out by the government “is not QHFHVVDU\ DQ\PRUH ‍ ڕ‏,Q

she explained, the UK government devised the “Detained )DVW 7UDFN‍ ڕ‏VWUDWHJ\ WR DQVZHU a dramatic surge in asylum seekers. However, in 2012, the number of refugees has decreased by 79 per cent. Neverthesless, rather than abandoning this, the government VHHPV ‍ڔ‏TXLWH NHHQ ‍ ڕ‏ZLWK LWV recent construction of a new detention centre. Crowley also described how STAR went from a stall in Nottingham University’s Fresher’s Fair, to the nation-wide network which includes 5,000 students, 35 universities, and 44 projects geared towards “practical support to rebuild OLYHV‍ ڕ‏LQFOXGLQJ (QJOLVK FODVV and homework help sessions. ,Q WKH SDVW \HDU 67$5 SUHsented 280 events, including exhibitions, conferences, and a night where 1,700 people slept RQ WKH VWUHHW ,W FRQYLQFHG MPs to sign pledges and raised general public awareness of refugees. Moreover, to enable refu-

gees’ Equal Access for higher education, STAR campaigned with the National Union of Students (NUS), calling for “all those seeking refugee protection to be able to study as home VWXGHQWV‍ ڕ‏DQG KDYH WKH ‍ڔ‏VDPH access to additional support, VXFK DV EXUVDULHV ‍ ڕ‏ Currently, candidates holding refugee status can only apply to UK universities as international students, which requires a fee of 8,500 to 29,000 pounds a year. Crowley believed it was “completely unUHDVRQDEOH‍ ڕ‏WR H[SHFW UHIXJHH students to enroll, as they are not allowed to work and have a weekly budget of 36 pounds to live. Finally, when asked about LSE’s policy towards refugees, LSESU STAR President Priya Changela said that the SROLF\ LV FXUUHQWO\ ‍ڔ‏YDJXH‍ ڕ‏DQG ‍ڔ‏PXGGOHG‍ Ú‹ ڕ‏WKH /6( ZHEVLWH only mentions that those with UHIXJHH VWDWXV ‍ڔ‏PD\‍ ڕ‏EH HOLJLble.

Howard League protest against penal system Shu Hang

Last Thursday, the LSESU Howard League Society staged a protest against jailing criminals by, literally, putting themselves behind bars ina makeshift prison cell on Houghton Street. According to Katherine Taunton, President of the Howard League Society, “the aim of the event was to raise the SURனOH RI WKH /6(68 +RZDUG League Society - a subsidiary of the national Howard League for Penal Reform, which campaigns on criminal justice related issues in England and :DOHV ‍ڕ‏ Taunton said that the protest strives to highlight “the

LQHŕŽ‰HFWLYHQHVV RI SULVRQ DV D PHWKRG RI FULPH UHGXFWLRQ ‍ڕ‏ “Many of the students intrigued enough to come over to speak to members of the Society on Thursday were surSULVHG WR KHDU WKDW UHRŕŽ‰HQGLQJ rates are as high as 67 per cent after custodial sentences of 12 months or less. By contrast, FRPPXQLW\ RUGHUV KDYH UHRŕŽ‰ending rates of approximately 35 per cent and come at less than one tenth of the cost of placing someone in prison cusWRG\ IRU RQH \HDU ‍ ڕ‏ Taunton added that many VWXGHQWV ZHUH ‍ڔ‏WDNHQ DEDFN‍ ڕ‏ by how the criminal justice V\VWHP LQ (QJODQG DQG :DOHV treats children and young people, an area the society does a lot of work on.

8

News

11.12.2012

| The Beaver

The plight of 21st century slavery Hayley Fenton

The LSE SU Anti-Slavery International held an Anti-Slavery Photography Exhibition last Tuesday in the Quad. The exhibition, entitled “Putting a Face to Slavery”, consisted of a range RI SLFWXUHV VKRZLQJ Dஉ HFWHG groups of people, countries, types of slavery and cultural circumstances. We hope to express the complexity and the severe effect slavery persists to have up to this date. Anti-Slavery International donated pictures to the exhibition concerning child forced labour in Uzbekistan. The Society’s Vice President, Lucie Rehakova, contributed photos she had taken of female victims of sex-trafficking in India while working at a volunteering project, Save Our Sisters. Despite long negotiations regarding the location of the exhibition, Susan Sebatindira, who helped organise the exhibition stated the event went as planned and the society were pleased with the result. “People were seemingly impressed by the quality of photography and most importantly, it seemed we achieved our goal: putting a face to the term ‘slavery’; showing the general public what modernday slavery looks like.” Sebatindira was pleased with the location of the exhibition, telling the Beaver; “the Quad was a great

Continued from page 1.

behaviour, with the Mail running the headline “Behaving like animals” on the front page of their website on Friday. Houghton Street looked more colourful than normal

as sports teams pulled out all the stops to have the best costume. Netball, who decided on a club theme of ‘confection-

place to hold the exhibition as many people came to eat their lunch there, and therefore unintentionally saw the exhibition.” Second year Actuarial Science student, Low Shu Hang, felt the exhibition was “extremely interesting” as it “provides a multi-faceted view of modern-day slavery.” LSE SU Anti-Slavery International promotes the efforts of Anti-Slavery International NGO, aims to raise DZDUHQHVV RYHU VSHFLஊ F FDV es of modern slavery through petitioning and fundraising. Anti-Slavery International was founded in 1839 and is currently the only UK charity that devotes itself entirely to the prevention of exploitation of human labour.

ary’ brightened up Houghton Street with costumes that included Lindt bunnies, Bertie Bassett and Love Hearts. Men’s Rugby dressed up as various Star Wars characters, including Stormtroopers and Darth Vader. The team their DQWLFV LQ /LQFROQ‫ڑ‬V ,QQ ஊ HOG EH

fore arriving at The Tuns was covered by the Daily Mail. Women’s hockey embraced the cold and charged onto campus as tribal warriors,

armed with spears and barely distinguishable underneath their facepaint. Ultimate Frisbee also made an appearance. The club saw their largest turnout to Carol yet and decided on a club WKHPH RI ‫ڔ‬1Dஉ )DPLO\ 3RU trait”, where they wore knitted jumpers and Christmas Cracker hats. Unlike previous years, this year’s Carol went by with the absence of any broken or stolen property. Teams were escorted out of The Tuns and to Zoo, their next destination, by security marshalls through Covent Garden. Onlookers and tourists were bewildered by the parade of costumed students, with several members of the public taking pictures or videoing the procession, and some even joining in the parade. Alex Peters-Day, LSE Students’ Union (LSESU) General Secretary, who took part in Carol with her colleagues Duncan McKenna, Sophie Count and Matthew De Jesus said she hoped that “everyone has fun

at carol!” adding the hashtag “#dontfuckanythingup”. As the only remaining Sabbatical Officer on campus, Jack Tindale tweeted “If anyone at the LSE wants to cause a major media furore, can they please wait until Monday? #Carol #SabbAlone#ExcessiveAlcoho lConsumption.” Despite the lack of any major complaints, the late departure of the AU group from the Tuns did raise some questions from other student organisations including the Islamic Society who found the loud chanting and boisterous behaviour “distracting” according to LSESU Community and Welfare Officer Jack Tindale. Carolers were, however, out of WKH 7XQV E\ SP DQG Rஉ WR their next destination, Zoo Bar, by 1:30pm. Zoo, which was exclusively hired out for Carol, was extremely busy. Following Zoo, Crush took place in the Quad at 7:00pm but proved to be very quiet in comparison.

News

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

9

Catching up with the Sabbs Alex Peters-Day

I mentioned at the start of the year that my position JUHDWO\ UHVHPEOHV +XŕŽ?HSXŕŽ‰ House from J. K. Rowling’s ubiquitous teenage magical novels, six months on, my opinion has not altered in the slightest. Yet, despite lacking a the same sort of dedicated portfolio as my fellow Sabbatical Comrades, I feel that I have enjoyed some successes since I took office in July. On the issue of Accommodation, a fully costed proposal for establishing a Rent Guarantor Scheme has been னQLVKHG DQG LV WR EH VXEPLWted to the School’s Finance Committee next month. Working with Residential Services, a dedicated Code of Conduct has been written which sets out for the னUVW WLPH WKH EDVLF ULJKWV and responsibilities of Halls Committees. I am particuODUO\ JUDWHIXO WR 3DVVனHOG who have written an excellent Constitution that I hope will be used as a template by other committees to make themselves more accountable to their residents. Working with Sophie, the Postgraduate Sabbatical, moves are being made to expand the Peer Support Scheme to Master’s students as well. More generally, funding has been secured to establish “The Social Scientist,â€? which should provide a new outlet for research students to publish academic writings to the entire campus. Prior to the Michaelmas Term elections, the Union pushed for a better way of engaging with our postgraduates and various social events have been very well attended by PhD students, traditionally a very underrepresented constituency for the Union. We hope to expand these events as the year goes along. Research students in particular may be interested in a chill-out room, which we have secured a small sum of money to refurbish and will be opening for the start of Lent Term. I have also had tentative discussions about introducing new Scholarships aimed at allowing talented people to study at the LSE if their personal circumstances make a domestic university too dangerous to consider. We have secured funding for to investigate how the Union can better engage with students from Mainland China, which should again play massive dividends for health and happiness on Houghton Street. It would be crass for me to not mention the help that I have been given by the 6WXGHQWV‍ ڑ‏8QLRQ VWDŕŽ‰ ZKR , often feel do not get the appreciation that they deserve. Not a day goes past without me relying on their dedication and commitment to the student body, so thanks to all of them!

This July the Students’ Union underwent a 5-year review by the LSE Academic Planning and Resource Committee. The review process was incredibly vigorous and we provided the University with a full account of everything the SU does. After months of negotiations we have now got a £53,000 increase to the SU grant from the University. This money is earmarked for a number of things: an increase in hardship support, support for elite athletes, postgraduate student support and re-

search as well as money to ensure we can install sQuid through the SU. We are in a better and more sustainDEOH னQDQFLDO SRVLWLRQ WKDQ ZH have been in a long time- the school’s increased investment in the SU is a real testament to this. This term has seen a lot of big events. Students have said they want more social events DQG ZH‍ڑ‏YH PDGH D UHDO HŕŽ‰RUW this term to ensure that both societies and clubs can put on bigger and better events than ever, as well as more SU-wide events. Most of my time is spent in committees and meetings- and there have been a lot of positive outcomes. We’ve

QHDUO\ னQDOLVHG D EUDQG QHZ way to record all the brilliant extra-curricular activities that students do; working with the library to ensure that building works do not unduly disrupt students whilst important changes are made to the layout of the library; working with estates on major changes to the LSE- from sitting on the New Students’ Centre project board, as well as changes to the centre buildings. Among the work being done in the 30 or so committees I sit on I have also been presenting UHJXODU னQDQFLDO XSGDWHV IURP WKH 68 WR /6( னQDQFH FRPPLWtee and representing students

the SU Academic Representation Coordinator, have worked very hard to improve and deliver our training, to give you a better voice. My other main focus this term has been on improving the feedback that students receive on their work. As a graduate of the LSE, I understand it is not that all the feedback students receive is bad, not by a long stretch, but that each student experiences something totally GLŕŽ‰HUHQW LQ WKHLU WLPH DW /6( Some of it is brilliant, some of it is poor. What we in the Students’ Union wish to see is

everybody receiving feedback that we are happy with, and that is why lifting the standard that everyone receives is one of the central tenets of our priority campaign, Defend Education. The important thing that we have achieved this term is an agreed consensus between the students, myself and your other student representaWLYHV DQG VHQLRU னJXUHV LQ WKH School itself, that this is an issue to be tackled, and this is WKH னUVW WLPH FHUWDLQO\ VLQFH I’ve been at the LSE, that this has been the case. This has come through constant discus-

sions in committees and meetings elsewhere and is now culminating in our ‘Feedback on your feedback’ survey, which will provide us with the vital data we need to improve your learning experience, so if you KDYHQ‍ڑ‏W \HW னOOHG LW RXW SOHDVH do at www.surveymonkey. com/s/feedback-on-your-feedback/. With your help, we really can get this done. Next term we will launch our campaign to improve pay and conditions for our GTAs, as well as continuing our work RQ IHHGEDFN DQG னJKWLQJ WR JHW a better education for all.

cessful programme. We saw 35 sessions being put on over the 2 weeks and I am currently in the process of organising the next G.I.A.G week in Lent Term and all captains and presidents have received an email about this. If you wish to hold a session next term between 21st-27th January then please get email me on su.activitiesdevelopment@lse. ac.uk. Activities Committee: there have been over 20 new societies approved and ÂŁ21,000 given to societies and clubs from grant requests. There is still money to be applied for so please apply in Lent Term to help your society/club be the best it can be!

Annual Fund: there were a record 67 applications to the Annual Fund this year which were looked over by myself, Iain Pullar, Jarlath O’Hara and 7RP +LOVRQ $5& VWDŕŽ‰ $IWHU a successful and productive meeting with AFAAG I managed to get ÂŁ205,000 of this funded. Those of you who applied should be getting replies from the Annual Fund this week. L.S.Equality: the Captains and Presidents code of conduct and responsibilities are now drafted and being looked over E\ WKH ([HF 68 VWDŕŽ‰ DQG WKH 6FKRRO 2QFH WKLV LV னQDOLVHG LW will be sent out to all captains and presidents to sign and implement in their role.

World Record attempt: as part of the School Spirit Committee it was my task to go and னQG UHFRUGV WKDW ZHUH KHOG E\ other Universities and beat them. We have now been successful in our application to attempt the record for the most people simultaneously throwing mortar boards. This could mean that students graduating on the 19th December will not only be leaving with an LSE degree but also world record holders, so please come and participate in the attempt at 12:45 on the 19th December. I hope you all have a happy holiday and I will see you all next term.

FACEBOOK: LSE SU SABBATICAL OFFICERS

Jack Tindale

Duncan McKenna

$ VLJQLனFDQW SURSRUWLRQ RI P\ time has been spent training our SSLC reps (or course reps). These are student representatives that are elected from each course or programme, to repreVHQW \RX WR WKH 6FKRRO DW 6WDŕŽ‰ Student Liaison Committees and Consultative Fora. This can be a vital feedback mechanism from students to the School to improve your time here, and Students’ Union involvement in the process is still very young, so myself and my colleague,

Matt De Jesus

It has been a very interesting and exciting 10 weeks of Michaelmas term. Here are some highlights from the past 10 weeks that will start to answer this. Orientation week: even with the rain we have had the highest student membership to clubs and societies. The LSE Community Festival signed up close to 400 students. The event on Friday was also very well attended with 200 runners and more than ÂŁ5,000 being allocated to the clubs and societies who were involved on the day. Give it a Go: another suc-

at LSE Council, and chairing the LSESU executive committee meetings & LSESU trustee board. I’ve been focusing on a number of international students’ issues this term. From writing to the immigration minister urging a change in UKBA policy, to being involved in work to get a brand-new hardship fund especially for international students who PD\ HQFRXQWHU னQDQFLDO KDUGship due to changing visa regulations, to working with people across the university on a schedule of events to support students who are staying in London over the Christmas break. We’ve been making progress with Defend Educationfrom taking part in two demonstrations, to working with the school on improving the feedback that students receive on their work and the pay that GTA’s get. I attended an event in City Hall with where we were proud to be the only Students’ Union to be accredited to the living wage foundation. As well as my work within LSE, part of my role is taking part in national student issues. I attended NUS zone conferences at the end of October where I was involved in discussions and debates over employability and the public value of education, and I also held a ZRUNVKRS IRU VWDŕŽ‰ DQG RIILFHUV on improving Students’ Unions democratic processes. I wrote a number of rule changes and formulated a response to a governance review that NUS has been holding- in particular relating to support for London students and what structures should exist to support students in London.

Comment

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Comment

11.12.2012

| The Beaver

UGM: Centre of our Union? Jay Stoll, Chair of the Union General Meeting, explains why it’s all gone wrong

LSESTUDENTSUNION

Jay Stoll

The weekly Union General Meeting is well and truly dead. With no mentions on Houghton Street, no motions being submitted and certainly nothing close to being quorate, it now resembles a farcical tribute act of what we used to call “The Centre of our Union.� From disenchantment to disregard, from apathy to absolute anonymity, the situation is now so dire I’d guess conservatively that fewer than twenty per cent of undergraduates could tell you what it is. The remaining point of contention is at what point we call the time of death. A post-mortem is necessary. Do we focus upon the political posturing of Sabbs present and past, who have seemed keen to do anything but tackle the relevant issues? Do we turn to the hacks that have sapped the life from our debating house, ruining the ability to pass policy with their bizarre procedural obsessions? Or simply, do peo-

ple just not care anymore? I’m going to try, in my last week as Chair, and with the last bit RI Hŕłˆ RUW , KDYH OHIW RQ WKLV WR explain where I think it’s all gone wrong. Firstly, I think it’s helpful to say who isn’t to blame. Student media. Every single week, the Beaver and PuLSE do their best to promote the UGM. “1pm, Thursday, Old Theatreâ€? has been tattooed onto this newspaper’s pages this term, and the consistency of editorials pleading for interest in our Union’s decision making body is nothing short of admirable. The coverage they actually give to proceedings at the UGM is hilariously kind. Photographers, week in, ZHHN RXW WU\ DQG ೉ QG WKH JHQ tlest possible angles to hide the crushing masses of empty blue seats in the Old Theatre. Secondly, credit is due WR WKH 6WXGHQWV‍ ݰ‏8QLRQ VWDŕłˆ The various student engagement coordinators, whether WKURXJK SURPRWLRQDO Hŕłˆ RUWV or planning meetings, have

put as much as they possibly can into the UGM, without overstepping their unelected boundaries. At the last meeting, they accounted for almost half of those in attendance. While I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry, the point remains that their commitment to making this work cannot be questioned. So, niceties over with, who is to blame? How about the representatives that are elected? In my three years at the LSE, not one set of Sabbs, whether “moderateâ€? or “progressiveâ€? (cringe) have got it right. The hard-leftists have alienated the rest of the student body and the post-Kumarists simply haven’t bothered. In her 2010 welcome speech, Gen Sec Gerada spoke of a rowdy, weekly gathering, packed to the rafters with polarised “politicians in the makingâ€? and AU members who just wanted to throw paper DW WKHP 0DMRU ೊ DVKSRLQWV namely the Libya scandal and the ludicrous hike in tuition

fees, meant the UGM got by. Yet the bickering between the hard left and the “restâ€? cerWDLQO\ GLVDŕłˆ HFWHG WKRVH ZKR turned up with practical interest in their SU. The overwhelming support for the deposed Director Howard Davies later in that year was as much D UHೊ HFWLRQ RI GLVFRUG ZLWK the SU’s anti-School stance than anything else. Since that motion, with the exception of policy protecting minorities on campus, there has been nothing. Even getting weekly reports from the Sabbs is like pulling teeth. If they can’t be bothered, why should anyone else be? As for the rest of us, why don’t we turn up? In reality, there are dozens of reasons. Having spent an hour each week this term staring at empty chairs, I have come to a couple of broad conclusions. Reason one: the very notion of a “generalâ€? meeting might actually stand in contrast to what we actually require from our Students’ Un-

ion. Low attendance at the UGM shouldn’t be equated with low engagement. Societies are busier than ever and it is through societies that most of our energy is channeled. For proof, just look at the pictures from Carol, or some of the ACS events this term. Reason two: the most obvious reason. The regularity of these meetings is ridiculous. When the Israel and Palestine Societies don’t even produce a murmur at the UGM during D FRQೊ LFW \RX NQRZ LW‍ݰ‏V D EDG VWDWH RI Dŕłˆ DLUV 6DFN WKH VHQ timent; it’s time to reconsider moving to a meeting held once per month. I genuinely believe that it can only be a matter of personal egos, or a lack of initiative, as to why this hasn’t already been implemented. It is time for a referendum. The Sabbs should make it their priority to publicise it DQG ೉ QG RXW ZKDW LW ZLOO WDNH WR get our Students’ Union moving again. There is no point in having another UGM until we sort this out. Rant over.

Comment

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

11

Defending feminist ideology

Discussing pornography, page three and the many strands of feminism Nona Buckley-Irvine

Feminism is subject to significant criticism nowadays, which I argue is for the most part completely undeserved. However, this criticism arises from misconceptions and false allegations made against both the ideological strand of thought and the political movement. I hope to debunk some of these myths in order to persuade you of the cause. Firstly, it may appear that feminism is a straightforward argument for equal rights. However, the ideology is in fact comprised of many different strands that all claim to desire very different things. For example, liberal feminists argue for individualistic equality of men and women. Radical feminists claim that the capitalist system, controlled by men, is key to oppressing women. Libertarians have a more straightforward claim of freedom from coercion: advocating “negative liberty” and protecting our self-ownership. Separatist feminists are against relationships between a man and a woman. Thus, it is clear that feminism is far from a simple concept of equality. Like socialism and conservatism, there are many different ideas within the movement, and the term “feminism” should be considered a label for an umbrella movement. Critics of feminism should be aware of this: criticism launched by opponents should not seek to generalise or amalgamate these different thoughts into one. If there is dissent between different feminists regarding the best way to advance the position of women, that does not weaken the movement. With debate around page three in the Sun becoming ever more topical, the divisions between feminists are made clearer to the general public, reminiscent of what were branded “Porn Wars” in the early

1970s and 80s. ed again along the “Porn sells millions causes canThere was fierce debate Wars” lines: sex-positive not be underestimated. between two camps: femi- feminists against femi- It does reduce women to nists against pornography nists objecting to pornog- sexual objects and conseand sex-positive feminists, raphy intrinsically. quently undermines any those who believed that Let’s start with sex- other news published by sex and pornography all positive feminists and the newspaper, renderamount to sexual realisa- the libertarian argument. ing it a constant reminder tion, which women should People are self-owners. that men believe women be entitled to. Women need to be regard- have an ultimate purpose Debate such as this may ed equally as self-owners of fulfilling sexual pleasbe seen to represent the with freedom from coer- ure. weaknesses of feminism. cion. Having the ability The media is such a powI don’t agree. It is impor- to sell images of yourself erful tool that cultivates tant that there are such to a newspaper does not our tastes and belief sysdivisions so that when constitute oppression. It tems which cannot be unresolutions to issues of represents female em- derestimated, which is female oppression arise, powerment and the ability why it is not merely trivial there are always feminists to use our bodies for our that we remove the conto debate both sides. What own means. Sex-positive tent of page three from we do not want is a situa- feminists who subscribe our papers. Effects such tion where it is feminists to this claim that femi- as the objectification of against the rest of the nists against pornography women do extend to placworld. Debate within the are attempting to oppress es like boardrooms, law movement allows femi- their own side and do not courts and the media. This nism to have representa- support female workers in is clearly demonstrated by tives on both sides of the the sex industry. the few women that have argument. That may be true in the a serious place in these So I would like to state case of pornography, but areas. now that Last week, the fact Hayley Fenthat wom- Feminist arguments are becoming more ton denounced en disagree vocalised and more publicised, so this the introducon whether is the perfect opportunity for critics to tion of positive pornography prepare their critique in response to the discrimination is sexually in order to get e m p o w e r - increasingly effective feminist critique of more women women’s position in society today. ing does not working in mean that these areas. I the message is weakened. these arguments simply agree that it is an artificial Now I will argue for why cannot be applied to the construct that moves peobanning page three in the case of page three. As a ple to act not on the basis Sun does not compromise newspaper, the Sun uses of women’s talents but by either school of thought. these overtly sexualised way of a mandatory quota In some tabloid news- images of women in order and an obligation to fulfil papers, page three is de- to sell their paper. It is this. However, this does voted to a pornographic their unique selling point. not mean that positive disimage of an attractive What is disturbing is the crimination is unhelpful woman, who usually has fact that the image of a to women. I would argue very large breasts on dis- topless woman constitutes that, until women make play. Usually the image is “news.” up 30 per cent of boardaccompanied by a comEven more disturbing room members, positive ment from the woman in is what Holmes highlights discrimination is vital to question regarding phi- in her campaign against women and advancing our losophy or David Cam- page three: these images interests. eron’s Big Society. This is will take precedence over Women’s lack of prothe case on the third page any other female achieve- gress in, for example, the of Britain’s best-selling ment in the newspaper. I boardroom and managerinewspaper, the Sun, part do not feel it is my place al positions, is characterof Rupert Murdoch’s in- to tell other women how to ised by our ability to grow ternational empire. use their bodies. While I a child in our wombs, with Many women are do not agree with pornog- the all too familiar “glass against page three. “No raphy, I would say that it is ceiling” argument blaming More Page 3” is a move- oppressive to stop women women and childbearing ment launched this year from selling their bodies as our fault. Pregnancy is by Lucy Holmes, a woman to pornographic institu- what stops us from becomfrom Brighton. It has gar- tions, so long as the insti- ing more successful, as we nered both support and tutions have not coerced have to take time off and criticism: what sort of ar- them in any way. thus get behind. While that guments could be considBut the detriment of a may be true, as we have a ered as for and against? pair of tits being displayed biological disposition to The issue is mainly divid- daily by a newspaper that have children, it is entirely

unfair and discriminatory to block our progress because we can push babies out of our bodies. Positive discrimination stops these undermining arguments from being used by male professionals to block the appointing of women to senior positions. Once positive discrimination has worked, and we do have good representation of women in boardrooms, it will become less necessary to enforce these quotas, as it will cement the presence of women at the top of powerful institutions. It will also force men to take us seriously rather than consider us to be sexual objects. Page three is cheap and the fact that a woman’s breasts can be bought for 30p demeans not only us but the woman choosing to sell her images. We are not a commodity to be bought and sold. We have talents, skills, and beauty, but these should be respected as virtues that we have control over, not as commodities for men to buy as they please. While women’s equality has a long way to go, these derogatory images are symbolic of the objectification that undermines the respect that women should have from men, for things other than having a splendid body such as pursuing a career. We can’t simply sit back. Positive actions need to be taken in order to artificially create a situation of mutual respect, which can then be institutionalised as it becomes embedded in our culture. In the meantime, critics would do well to read more about feminism and the different views you can find, in what is a coalition rather than a dogmatic ideology. Feminist arguments are becoming more vocalised and more publicised, so this is the perfect opportunity for critics to prepare their critique in response to the increasingly effective feminist critique of women’s position in society today.

Thank you for all your articles over the course of Michaelmas Term! If you have an article idea, a Letter to the Editor, or you want to respond to something you’ve read in the newspaper this week, we’d like to hear from you.

Email comment@thebeaveronline.co.uk

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Comment

11.12.2012

| The Beaver

UKIP and the Conservatives

The rise of UKIP is worrying for the Conservatives, but a shift to the right would not be a good move EURO REALIST NEWSLETTER

Matthew Pennill

“The political establishment is just going to have to wake up to the fact that UKIP is here and here to stay as a significant and rising mainstream part of British politics.” So said Nigel Farage after his party’s best ever Westminster election results a couple of weeks ago. The Party, long seen as a protest vote for die-hard Eurosceptics, has been on the rise since the beginning of the coalition government, and is now consistently polling around ten per cent in voting intention surveys (around the same level of support the Liberal Democrats receive). Its rise has been greeted with cautious optimism and anxiety, respectively, by the far-right and the centrist factions of the Tory party, with the former hoping it will force Davod Cameron to tack to the right, and the latter worried about exactly that possibility. Yet there is still much hyperbole surrounding the anti-EU party, and its current popularity is overestimated. By-elections, for all their intrigue and rhetoric, are far from mid-term predictors of future parliamentary voting. Indeed, voters in these contests know that their ballot decisions aren’t going to af-

fect the stability of the government, and so they often use their vote to send political signals. For this reason, UKIP aren’t the first “minor” party to do well at such mid-term plebiscites. In the most recent by-elections, for instance, the BNP finished third in the Rotherham race, winning 8.5 per cent of the vote. Furthermore, in 2008, the constituency of Haltemprice and Howden placed the English Democrats third, yet the party only polled 0.2 per cent of the popular vote at the following general election. Thus it is important to remember the context in which UKIP has enjoyed recent success – in situations very different to a general election. Besides the context, a turn to the political right would not be a well-calculated move for the Tories to make. Firstly, it would isolate disarrayed Lib Dem voters who may otherwise vote Conservative at the next election. Indeed, 6.8 per cent of Lib Dem voters chose to vote strategically for the Tories in 2010, almost double the amount who strategically voted for Labour. Secondly, and more generally, moving to the right would isolate the moderate, swing-voter-majority. This is particularly true if one considers the means by which

the party could move rightwards. Its first option might be to reverse some of its socially liberal pledges, such as the commitment to gay marriage – the result would be an alienation of the masses. Indeed, the Tories’ positions on such social matters are less progressive than they are populist; the party has simply followed the electorate’s path towards a consensus on social liberalism. Another option might be to take a rightward economic turn, returning to some of the traditional Tory principles of low taxation and laissez-faire economics. However, once again, such an ideological shift would be unpopular with moderates, fuelling the Labour-ignited fire that scorches the Conservatives as the party of the wealthy and privileged. Elections are almost always won on the centre-ground, and this is the territory the Tories would be sacrificing if they moved towards UKIP. A third option would be for the party to challenge UKIP on its own territory, by finalising a promise to hold an in-out EU referendum in the new Parliament. Such a move seems sensible; it would be popular publicly and would relieve some of the friction between Tory backbenchers and the PM. However, given current poll-

ing, the country would vote to leave the union, and this would create an almighty headache for the party. Not only would the referendum campaign fully rekindle the most damaging internal tensions of the Major era, but it would also leave a Conservative government in the next Parliament in the far from desirable position of attempting to actually enact the referendum result. Indeed, the party would likely be so preoccupied with trying to remove the UK from Europe, and implementing all sorts of British replacements to currently-existing European law, that many other policy priorities would be neglected. Furthermore, given the fact that another hung Parliament is the most likely outcome in 2015, such a strategy would surely make another Lib-Con coalition impossible. Finally, all those calling for the Conservatives to move to the right ought to remember one very important fact – the party is currently part of a coalition government with politicians who were ideologically closer to Labour than itself in 2010. Of course, this isn’t to say that the Tories should give in to the Lib Dems’ every request, but it is important to recognise that Mr Cameron’s party will be judged

not only on its manifesto pledges in 2015 but also on its success in government. Making the coalition work is in the interests of both the parties, and any claim that the Tories could govern as a minority, given their current seat assignment, is fanciful to say the least (particularly given the party’s lack of internal concord). While backbench Tories may be hoping current UKIP popularity will drift their own party to the right, such a move would be a damaging long-term strategy for the Prime Minister to employ. Even if the party were to take this path, there is no guarantee it would reclaim UKIP voters, and any gains would surely be outweighed by the loss of moderates’ votes. Either way, this is all based on an over-inflated perception of UKIP’s electoral force. Indeed, whilst the party has undoubtedly gained ground in the past couple of years, it remains a political unit without parliamentary representation, and one which has never won more than 3.1 per cent of the vote at a general election. A retaliatory shift to the right is no way for the Conservative Party to further its electoral chances in 2015.

Comment

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

13

Diversity in the legal system...in 2062 'LVFXVVLQJ WKH LPSRUWDQFH DQG Hŕ­źHFWV RI D GLYHUVH MXGLFLDU\ Martha Petrocheilos

Judicial diversity (which will hopefully be achieved earlier than 2062) will encourage judges to carry different perceptions and sources of law. The “stable and monolithic� societal structure will be destroyed, the general concern with conservatism will be eradicated and judges’ legal expertise will be fruitfully used for representing minorities. Particularly in rape cases, women are directly prejudiced against; this includes disclosure of previous sexual experiences (even if irrelevant with the case) and, as Helena Kennedy puts it, this “irrational theorem� may imply an indirect ac-

cusation from the judges to raped women, often regarding provocative dressing or too friendly nature. The effects of judicial diversity are debatable: some argue that law is so closely associated with the tradition of “white, middle-class male� that including more females in the judiciary will merely make a difference. If approaches of legal education do not change, then there will be no escape from the “male-centeredness� of law. On the contrary, people using the example of Baroness Hale stand firm in their belief that more women in the bench will not only enhance the democratic as-

pect of the courts since people will be more efficiently represented, while further promoting not only the notion of democracy but also a more effective representation of minority rights. By including judges from more diverse backgrounds, the division between politics and law becomes clearer, while at the same time personal biases and experiences are VHYHUHO\ HOLPLQDWHG߆ WKXV contributing to the idea of a “neutral and independent� judiciary. As Lord Etherton put it, “the object of having five, seven or nine judges deciding a difficult point of law is to have five, seven or nine perspectives on the case.� MGIFFORD

In the light of Lord Sumption’s recent prediction that we will have a more diverse bench in fifty years, the issue of obtaining diversity in the judiciary is receiving increasingly more attention. It has been seen as a means of eliminating both personal bias and the upholding of political interests from decision-making, has reserved a major role in most contemporary debates. Sure, judicial diversity could lead to a greater consideration of minorities’ interests, and eradicate the traditional conception of judges being part of a particular social background, but could it destroy judicial rigidity as well? The essence of judicial neutrality and independence is crucial in upholding the ideal of justice and accountability in courts. An impartial judiciary seems to constitute the basis of fundamental principles when making legal decisions. Thus, predisposed judges will be either directly or indirectly influenced by their personal backgrounds and experiences. The representative obligation of courts, in other words, their commitment to give voice to the concerns of the minorities and maintain the citizens’ trust in the legal system, can be facilitated by judicial diversity. Judges derived from a variety of backgrounds will be expected to show open-mindedness in their decisions, a point consistently raised by Baroness Hale, the only female on the bench. The republican concern of the judiciary, to stay faithful to the government, in combination with the strong influences of their privileged upbringing, presently increases the legal challenge of judicial independence and neutrality. In Lord Justice Etherton’s words, “a judiciary with a diversity of experience ‌ is more likely to achieve the most just decision and the best outcome for societyâ€?. Thus, since this will advance democracy and refuse to ignore the disadvantaged, why is it still missing? Since judges are seen to be serving, to a great extent, political interests and being enslaved to traditional ideals and personal biases, the contemporary role of judges is seen as a “machinery of authorityâ€?. Their duty is merely to abide by political principles and uphold the existing rule of law. In this interpretation, neutrality and independence seem impossible and judges are unable to not make political deci-

sions, since they have been placed in a position that requires them to do so. Judges strive to maintain the “status quo� in their selective elites, groups. Well, at the end of the day, nobody has the right to mess with their deeply rooted notions of morality, right? The absence of gender disparity on the bench is a real issue. Nevertheless, there are those who often praise the neutrality and independence in the legal system, supporting the idea that it operates almost scientifically, in the light of “black-letter law,� merely applying the law from the statutes. However, Lord Devlin explained that political influences are present in DOO VRFLDO LQVWLWXWLRQV ߆ ODZ is related to the standard of the “reasonable man’, and is independent from other forms of social control. As an example, he uses the controversial case of R v R in 1991, where a man was accused of raping his wife when separated and the House of Lords overturned the matrimonial exemption to rape, providing an example of active lawmaking. However, we have to face the reality: such cases are few and far between. Judicial diversity refers to the extension of the legal profession to include greater variety. Its present lack in terms of education, race and gender is not a misconception. Judges are predominantly derived from middle and upper-middle class backgrounds, attended public schools and Oxbridge. A survey by the Law Society’s Research and Policy Planning Unit indicated that over one-third of a sample of 1000 judges had attended public schools. White male judges dominate the legal arena, the criticism of which led to the establishment of the Race Relations Committee (1985), censoring the entry of black members and other ethnic minority members in the profession. The conservative view perceiving law as a male-centered profession apparently still applies, since the equality between male and female judges relating to career progression is questionable. The progress has been slow. Currently, there are no members of ethnic minority groups in the Supreme Court and Court of Appeal and ethnic minorities comprise only four per cent of judges in the High Court. As far as women judges are concerned, there is only one in the Supreme Court, and eight per cent and fourteen per cent in the Court of Appeal and High Court respectively.

14

Comment

11.12.2012

| The Beaver

Making the case for ÂŁ9000 Why higher university tuition fees help to address inequality

Sam Austrums

Naturally I was proud upon coming to university, but my feeling of satisfaction ZDV IRU GLŕŽ‰HUHQW UHDVRQV than one might expect. I was proud to be among the னUVW \HDU RI VWXGHQWV EHing charged a fair price for the educational experience upon which I was about to embark. Fair because, unlike students in previous years, I would be paying for the majority of the benHனW ZKLFK , ZDV DERXW WR receive. I imagine most students are motivated by the prospect of a respectable and well-paid career when they apply for university. BeFDXVH WKH RYHUDOO EHQHனW is received by the student who receives the degree, it is logical logical that the person receiving the beneனW VKRXOG SD\ IRU LW e is an awful lot of money, EXW ZKHQ WKLV னJXUH LV contrasted to one’s overall career earnings obtained with the help of a good degree, it will soon be considered a well-thought-out investment. Yet those in opposiWLRQ WR e WXLWLRQ IHHV would rather have a situation where those from low-

income backgrounds, who may not have had a chance to attend university, pay taxes for a predominantly middle class demographic to further enrich themselves. Would it not be fairer for taxpayers’ money to be spent on providing adHTXDWH KHDOWKFDUH DŕŽ‰RUGable energy or even equal primary and secondary education so that all citizens have the opportunity to enrich themselves. There are those that draw attention to the jump in taxes one pays as a result of obtaining a degree and a well-paid job, which arguably destroys any requirement for tuition fees. They argue that we can assume those going to university will earn more and subsequently foot more of the tax bill. If only that were the case. Firstly, those graduates who earn large sums of money will not necessarily pay their fair share of taxes. We need to look no further than the celebrity faces we see everyday on our television screens. Jimmy Carr, the Cambridge educated comedian, for example, was reported to have paid as little as one percent income tax on the millions of pounds he earned as

an entertainer, an amount which anyone earning just e RU DERYH ZRXOG EH very happy to pay. If such D SXEOLF னJXUH PDQDJHG WR avoid paying his fair share of tax, then there must be thousands more not in the public eye who also avoid paying their fair share. Moreover, many of Britain’s most successful businessmen and woman were not university educated and thus have no obligation to pay for university funding and maintenance. However, this is not reŕŽ‹HFWHG LQ WKHLU WD[ SD\ments. It is clearly very unfair for two people to pay IRU VRPHWKLQJ WKDW EHQHனWV just one of them. Surely such a system would deter potential Alan Sugars and Richard Bransons from making risky decisions, instead opting for the safe, and more importantly, free path which is university, thus costing Britain thousands of jobs and billions of pounds in taxes. Moreover, university is not a guaranteed path to high-salaried employment or even employment at all, ZLWK SHU FHQW RI ODVW year’s graduates still out of work and four per cent of employed graduates either working voluntarily or

overseas. It appears that many graduates do not pay any tax to HMRC, let alone the increased rate of tax we would expect from graduates. Naturally one can also blame the poor economy for such a dire graduate employment situation. However, an economy in such a poor state cannot DŕŽ‰RUG WKH KXJH னQDQFLDO burden that decreased tuition fees university would impose. Moreover, the EHQHனW WR WKH FRXQWU\ RI DFTXLULQJ SHU FHQW RI D rich person’s income may EH RŕŽ‰VHW E\ D GHFOLQH LQ VRciety brought about by the bankers, lawyers and politicians who are blamed by the population as responsible for Britain’s deepest problems. The issue here is not whether one has the right to education. However, while no reasonable person would argue that we don’t all have the right to education, it is not reasonable to suggest that we must IRUJHW னQDQFLDO UHVSRQVLbility. It is only through increased tuition fees that we can achieve both and legitimately move forward as a nation. Furthermore, this system ensures one pays their fees upon being placed in a successful job,

as opposed to the previous system which demanded money from people earnLQJ XS WR e OHVV WKDQ the current minimum payback salary. All progressive thinkers would agree that inequality still exists in our society. As the income of a family reduces, so too does the chance of their children attending university. Increased tuition fees would help to correct this as, rather than spending taxes on middle class children further enriching themselves, taxes can be spent on addressing this inequality in society. University enriches people, yet the fact that those from low-income backgrounds DUH QRW EHLQJ RŕŽ‰HUHG D UHDO choice to attend university reveals a problem with our housing, schools and welfare system. At university, it is generally acknowledged that we are on a OHYHO SOD\LQJ னHOG IURP WKH outset, with student loans and means-tested grants available to everyone. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for schools with quality varying upon area. I am proud to be addressing the issue of inequality E\ SD\LQJ e D \HDU IRU my university education.

Women’s health in celebrity media The impact of the royal pregnancy on opening dialogue about women’s health Claire Surrey

Monday’s announcement that William and Kate are H[SHFWLQJ WKHLU னUVW FKLOG was quickly dampened by reports of the Duchess of Cambridge’s hospitalisation for hyperemesis gravidarum, or acute morning sickness. Although Victorian novelist Charlotte BrontĂŤ is rumoured to have died from hyperemesis JUDYLGDUXP LQ WKH FRQGLWLRQâ€ŤÚŒâ€ŹZKLFK DŕŽ‰HFWV approximately one per cent of pregnancies and is characterised by vomiting, weight loss and severe dehydration—was not widely UHFRJQLVHG XQWLO WKH V It is now, thankfully, easily managed with intravenous rehydration and anti-nausea medication. Despite inroads in treatment, however, “there is a real lack of understanding about the condition,â€? argues Caitlin

Dean, a Registered Nurse and trustee of the UK charity Pregnancy Sickness Support. Dean, a mother of three, KDV DOVR VXŕŽ‰HUHG IURP K\peremesis gravidarum, ZKLFK W\SLFDOO\ DŕŽ‰HFWV னUVW WLPH PRWKHUV DQG women expecting twins. “One of the big issues with it is isolation because it causes many women to be bed-bound,â€? she notes. “I had hyperemesis gravidarum whilst pregnant and it’s horrible,â€? British model Peaches Gedolf tweeted on October 2nd, sharing a link to Pregnancy Sickness Support’s website. Celebrity media’s role in bringing a previously obscure maternal condition to the forefront of popular culture—just imagine the pub quiz questions to be mined from hyperemesis gravidarum’s Wikipedia entry this week—carries

important implications for health communication. Despite predominantly catering to tabloid entertainment, in recent years celebrity media has fostered open dialogue about reproductive health and the challenges of motherhood. American actress Brooke Shields’ struggles with post-partum depression prompted her to pen the best-selling memoir, Down Came the Rain, which resulted in a widelypublicised feud with Tom Cruise over her antidepressant use. “I hope this will help new moms not feel alone or desperate, and that there is no shame in their feelings,� the actress stated. “PPD is out of their control, but the treatment and healing process is not.� In her memoir, Shields—who describes herself as “cervically challenged�—also detailed sev-

eral failed attempts at inYLWUR IHUWLOLVDWLRQ DQG னYH miscarriages. In promoting awareness and encouraging positive health-seeking behaviours, the three D’s of health communication—demysWLனFDWLRQ GH VWLJPDWLVDtion, and dialogue—are key touchstones. Celebrity coverage has proven to be DQ XQH[SHFWHG DQG HŕŽ‰HFtive medium for promoting reproductive health and highlighting common challenges. Pop star Lily Allen and English model Kelly Brook have both publicly discussed their miscarriages. Their stories undoubtedly resonate with many women coping with similar losses—and the numbers are high: eleven babies are stillborn every day in the UK. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow, Friends star Courtney Cox, and British TV

personality Jodie Kidd are among numerous other celebrities who have opened up about fertility setbacks and post-partum depression in the past years. Some have harnessed their celebrity capital and public visibility to promote health issues. Christy Turlington’s maternal mortality awareness campaign, Every Mother Counts, has earned the former model and activist global recognition. “Social media and Twitter have been really helpful to get our message out,� Turlington observes. “It’s all wellness and health oriented. I don’t talk about my favorite latte.� Over the coming weeks, I wish the Duchess of Cambridge a healthy and speedy recovery as the world anxiously looks on, and possibly learns a thing or two about women’s health.

theHunney Hunney ISSUE 01 / WEEK 01 / OFFICIAL NEWSPAPER OF THE LSESU GENERAL SEXRETARY

SEXCAPADES

AND PUTIN-DAYS The 7th of December 2012 will live on as another chapter in the glorious and long lasting success that is the AU banterfest, or in laymans terms “Carol.” You could even say that Carol roared down houghton street. the event was really well organised by me (in the pretty picture just above these words) and then Matt Jesus helped do the boring stuff. It was a really good event where everyone who went had loads of fun. Yours truely was dressed as a zoo-keeper, and I tried to catch

loads of freshers. But I was less successful than last year. All the sabbs but tindybaby went because we needed to preach and holla at our AU peeps. I made WLQG\EDE\ VLW LQ WKH RIÀ FH EHFDXVH otherwise we would have been too white and cis powerful for zoobar to handle. As it was I oranged up to tone it all douwn. Estimates from the SU suggest that everyone enjoyed themselves at over 150 percent, so it was a great event which if i had my way would be held all the time. It was a

real shame that the Daily Mail decided to be mean about us. But then WKH\·UH PHDQ DQG GRQ·W ZULWH OLNH , do which is well good. In addition to having fun Carol DOVR DOORZHG XV WR À JKW WKH SDWULDU chy of not drinking in the day. I was extra careful to do so, having my tindybaby get me the Zinfandel well early. We were then also nice and MROO\ RQ +RXJKWRQ VWUHHW ,W·V JUHDW to have positive free speech where no-one is mean to anyone and we can all just get the drinkeys in. It was a real shame to see so few

peeps right there at the end, but as ZLWK HYHU\WKLQJ VRPH SHHSV FDQ·W JR hard, they just have to go homes. Also if you have seened my phone taht would be brill if I could get it back. I gots my buddy to track it and it was last seen in a fried chicken restaurant in stratfurd. If one of youz has it please be nice and give it back because i already lost my phone once this week and i dont want this mare to go on any longer. plus when i by a new one it is out of the salary paid for by youall.

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DECEMBER 11TH, 2012

GRAPHICS CORNER WHERE THIS HUNNEY CHUNDERED LAST WEEK

theHunney EDITORIAL PEEPS

EDITOR-ON-CHIEF THOM MEEDON MANGAING EDITOR TINDY BABY LIBELS AND TRUTH CHECKER ALEX PUTIN-DAY COREESPONDANT DRUNKAN MCKENNA EXSEXUTIVE ASSISTANT CONSUELA BACK OFFICE MANAGER BATMAN

PUBLISHED BY DJ ACTIVITIES AND DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION. 35,17(' %< 687'(17¡6 21,81 OF THE SCHOOL OF ECONOMIETICS, LONDON. Š ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED HUNNIES ALSO, THE LAWYERS WANT TO SAY: “All articles in this section are satirical and whilst none of the articles are real, where there is any resemblance to real people all relevant parties have consented to their inclusion.â€?

DANGERS OF FREE SPEECH IN OUR SOCIETY ,Q WKLV WKH Ă€ UVW HGLWLRQ RQ WKH +XQQH\ ,¡G OLNH WR WDNH WKLV HGLWRULDO VSDFH WR warn you all about the dangers of the free speech movement currently invadLQJ RXU FDPSXV :KHUH GR WKHVH OLEHUWDULDQ ZLQJ QXWV JHW RII" :KDW PDNHV LW VR VSHFLDO WKDW DQ\RQH FDQ VD\ VRPHWKLQJ WKDW WKH\ ZDQW WR VD\ EXW LI L GRQ¡W ZDQW WR KHDU LW WKHQ , FDQ¡W EHFDXVH ,¡OO KDYH DOUHDG\ KHDUG LW LI , KDYH KHDUG LW DQG DP QRZ RIIHQGHG E\ LW 6R WKDW¡V VRPHWKLQJ WKDW ZH VKRXOG GHIR VRUW out. , IXFNLQJ KDWH IUHH VSHHFK DQG DV HYHU\RQH ZKR LVQ¡W D ZKLWH PDQ ZLOO XQGHU VWDQG LW LVQ¡W D WKLQJ WKDW ZH VKRXOG DOORZ , DP VXUSULVHG WKDW WKH\ VD\ WKDW WKH\¡UH RIIHQGHG WKDW ,¡P RIIHQGHG ZKLFK PDNHV LW HYHQ PRUH RIIHQVLYH WR PH EHFDXVH WKHQ WKH\ JHW RIIHQGHG DW P\ WDNLQJ RIIHQFH WR WKHP EHLQJ RI IHQGHG WKDW , JRW RIIHQGHG LQ WKH Ă€ UVW SODFH DQG WKDW LV VRPHWKLQJ L GRQ¡W HYHQ NQRZ ZKHUH , DP DQ\PRUH 7KH UHDO LVVXH LV WKDW WKLV 68 LVQ¡W VRPH VRUW of open democracy or some bullshit. It belongs to one queen hunney, and that is me, Pday. So everybody who hates it can just go to Kings or summat. The second aim of this editorial is to get all yous peeps to follow me on twitWDK ,W ZRXOG EH JUHDW IRU DOO RI \RX WR PDNH PH ORRN VXSHU SRSXODU IRU P\ PXP EDFN KRPH DQG \RX FDQ OLVWHQ WR DOO WKH LQWHUHVWLQJ WKLQJV WKDW , VD\ RQOLQH , WDON DERXW ZRPHQ DQG WKHLU LVVXHV ZKLFK LV VXSHU LQWHUHVWLQJ DQG WKHQ , DOVR VKRZ ORDGV RI SLFWXUHV RI P\ GRJ +H LV VZHHW EXW \RX FDQ¡W JHW DQJU\ DW DQ\ WKLQJ , VD\ LI \RX GRQ¡W DJUHH ZLWK PH EHFDXVH , KDYH IUHHGRP RI VSHHFK $QG LI \RX JHW RIIHQGHG E\ PH VWLFNLQJ XS IRU OLNH RSUHVVHG SHRSOH DQG VWXII WKHQ ,¡OO EH RIIHQGHG DW \RXU RIIHQVH 6R DOO IROORZ PH RQ WZLWWHU DQG ZKHQHYHU \RX WDON WR PH RQO\ VD\ WKLQJV \RX NQRZ , DJUHH ZLWK ,¡G KDWH WR DFWXDOO\ KDYH WR WKLQN DERXW WKLQJV RWKHU WKDQ what type of pitcher to get at spoons. 6HH \RX +XQQH\¡V RQ FDPSXV [R[R

DECEMBER 11TH, 2012

THE HUNNEY

PAGE THREE

TRAVEL GUIDE TO BRILL COSTA DEL SKIPTON E\ WKRPDV U\DQDLUUH FRRN

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THE HUNNEY

PAGE FO-WUR

DECEMBER 11TH, 2012

HOW TO PROTECT YOUR PHONE FROM BADDIES It is sometimes really hard to keep your phone safe, so I prepared this real simple six part tiplist so that you never have anny probs in ever loosing your phone, Blackberet or Anndrioid ever again.

DAVEONFLICKR

by: alex putin-day

1) Make sure that you lock your phone using a password that only you know. I like to use 1234 (which is the same as my PIN Number), 3DVVZRUG EHFDXVH LW¡V VRPHWLPHV JUHDW to use numbers to really confuse people) or drawing a complex shape, like a square or rectangle, 2) Have an unappealing background picture to SXW SHRSOH RII 3HRSOH RIWHQ GRQ¡W OLNH KDY ing an Iphone that makes them look weird LI WKH\ XVH LW DQG , GRQ¡W WKLQN WKDW \RX FDQ change an ipHone background even if you want to. Some popular background pics to use include a dog in a hat, a samosa from the SU Shop or a picture of Yorkshire. 3) Make sure to cover your phone in unpleasant substances. Because ePhons are basically LQGLVFUXF LQGLVWU KDUG WR KXUW LW GRHVQ¡W matter at all what you put on them. If it helps, I like to make my own anti-robber liquid out of Chickin Catsu Currey, he-air spray and Snakebite before leaving for clubbing. 4) Use Friend Finder: This is a great app

that you can buy that allows you keep tabs on where your friends are at any time. I like WR XVH WKLV WR PDNH VXUH WKDW 'UXQNHQ LVQ¡W SDVVHG RXW RQ WKH (XURVWDU 'H-D\ KDVQ¡W gotton separated from Consuela and Tindie%DE\ LVQ¡W DWWDFNLQJ VFKRRO JLUOV ZLWK 6TXLGV I can always ask them to come around and get my phone out of people who may have

stolen it. :KDWHYHU \RX GR '21¡7 OHDYH \RXU SKRQH LQ WKH RIĂ€ FH RU DW KRPH RU ZLWK D WUXVWHG friend before you head out for a messy one otherwise you may never see it again until the next morning. That would make like no sense whatsoever.

MY TOTALLY SUPER-SECRET COUNCIL REPORT by: allhandson deck & alex putin-day

Council is this big meeting that your fav hunQH\ JRHV WR ,W¡V D SDWULDUFKDO ZKLWH PDQ LQ stitution that love free speech far too much, but they have all the money, so I have to go and try and get some off them for my projects. Last time we went through ORDGV RI VWXII WKDW SUREV ZRQ¡W affect you guys too much, but they love transparency, so I was told I had to tell you peeps about how we chatted about. So we started with loads of peeps apologising about why the were absent from the last meeting, I got bored and had some of the well nice food they put out for us. At the meeting I had some custard creams, jammy doggers, chocolate chip cookies and some bourbons. I was going to have a drink as well EXW WKH\ GLGQ¡W JLYH PH DQ\ GF When I came back to the meeting thingy we were just deciding which middle easty place to go and have some fun times with. I tried to tell everyone about my good stuff I done did with Morsi, but some angry ODAR person

said something about dictatorship or potenlike asworstos, amirite?) or something else tial warcrimes. They used well long words and WKDW PLJKW EH EDG %XW LW¡V ZHOO KDUG WR SXOO , FRXOGQ¡W XQGHUVWDQG LW DOO (YHU\RQH GHFLGHG down a building, so we decided that this problem was like a thing for future council to deal with. Finally we talked about how more students are getting higer grades and VWXII VR ,¡P OLNH WKH ODVW person evar to get in who can spell dude with their JFV ZKDWVLWV %XW LW¡V FRRO FRV ZH¡UH JRQQD UDLVH IHHV DQG WKLQJ FRV , GRQ¡W WKLQN HGXFDWLRQ LV D ULJKW LW¡V D SULYLOHJH RU WKDW¡V ZKDW the last person who spoke to me said. So I believe them and stuff. After that I went to the tuns and got super drunk, cos it was a real complexicated meeting and I had to unwind. Then I got myself lunch and did nothing for the afternoon. If you want to read the rest of council papers, you cant, but if anyone sees a report in the Knights TempLarh, please let me know. SHELLVACATIONSHOSPITALITY

WKDW LW VKRXOG EH 6\ULD FRV WKH\¡UH OLNH VRPH thing or other. Then we decided what to do with that crumbly Clare market Building. Cos it should be torn down but we have some asbestos (more

DECEMBER 11TH, 2012

PAGE FIVE

THE HUNNEY

HOW TO AVOID GETTING THE SEX DISEASES AND OTHER BAD THINGS by: tindybaby Seeing as there is a bunch of sex diseases goin round the campus, I thought I would tell youz how I avoid getting HIV and Hep when when shooting up and having sex in foreign countries. Some of these illnesses are not that horrible and can go away but others be real annoying and make you all itchy and spotty. The big one we are seeing now is gonorrhea. If you pick this RQH XS LW¡V UHDO KDUG to get rid. Sometimes it comes back as well, but you just got to keep on plowing away at other stuff and it should go away eventually. One you gotta watch out for is syphilis. This one gives you rashes on your feet and hands and if you are giving head for drug money then it can get all over your knees as well. If you go too long wit it than it can give you tomours which are real ugly and PDNH \RX DOO EXOJ\ 3OXV LI WKH GRF Ă€ QGV

you have it, they tell da government - so be careful and use johnnies or crisp packets for protection - just make sure to use an elastic band to keep all dem juices in there. When you are shooting up drugs, always

use a fresh needle or clean it with a sanitary napkin like you get at those nice barbeque restaurants. Sometimes I soak my three hypos in window cleaner overnight to get all the dried blood and disease off of dem. Be careful with these injecty-drugs, they are good but dangerous and shit. Herpes is another disease but it isnt too

bad. You cant get rid of it but it only makes your face and lower parts look all red and patchy once in a while. It is not as good as crabs which you can boil away with chemicals but still if you are gonna get a sex disease this one is not teh worst. Try and get it down below though, cause you dont want your face getting all blotchy cuz you would look like a methhead or sumthing which aint the bestest look to have. Basically, use proWHFWLRQ DQG GRQ¡W have sex with too many scuzzy people. Also, when you are doin those intraveniousy drugs then you should never share the needly part cos that would be very bad. However you live your life just be careIXO DV , ZRXOGQ¡W ZDQW \RXU ZHOIDUH WR EH jeopardized as that would be well bad for the community here.

GET RID OF THOSE PESKY PUKE STAINS FROM YOU CARDIGANS by: alex putin-day and smidge counter

How to wash your card-iGan in three easy steps.

STEP 1 STEP 2

Step 1: Locate the stain, or vomit matter on your card-iGan. Step 2: Locate an appropriate washing bowl, possibly a sink, or a toilet bowl. Step 3: Wash your card-iGan in the running water, go to McDs DQG WKHQ À QG \RXU ZD\ KRPH Optional Step: Sit on the curb outside the bar or club and cry after dropping your expensive new iPhone in the toilet bowl. Then proceed to tell your taxi driver everything about your life.

STEP 3

feesta

dno1967b

DECEMBER 11TH, 2012

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THE HUNNEY

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE GENERAL SEXRETARY by: alex putin-day

Some real hatey peeps sometimes say that I never do any actual work and that I am useless at my job. So here is a random day from last week, I think it was like monday, or thursday, defo not Saturday or Sunday 8.00: Get up all aggy cos of the night before. I was working hard for students the night before, so I was up well late and then had WURXEOH ÀQGLQJ P\ ZD\ KRPH ÀQG VRPH ZDWHU DQG SDUDFHWHPRO Throw whoever I slept with last night out RQWR WKH VWUHHW DQG OHW WKHP ÀQG WKHLU ZD\ home. Helping students is literally my middle QDPH ,·P OLNH D VKHOWHU IRU SHHSV LQ QHHG even my home is only open to a certain few. +DYH D UHDO TXLFN VKRZHU %XW GRQ·W JHW P\ IDFH ZHW VR P\ PDNHXS GRHVQ·W FORJ XS WKH VKRZHU /DVW QLJKW·V PDVFDUD EHFRPHV todays dusky eyes, so no one will be able to tell the difference at all. +DYH ÀUVW EUHDNIDVW $ UHDO GHOLJKW cooked up by my local greasy spoon, make a VXSHU KDUG ÀQDQFLDO GHFLVLRQ RI VDXVDJHV and two egg, or three sausages and 4 eggs. ,W·V FKRLFHV OLNH WKLV WKDW PDNH PH ZHOO

suited to running the SU. Working hard for all teh moonies.

12:30: Interview half-hour! Ive been interviewed by some of the bestist telly channels in the world ever since by debu on Press TV. 10.00: Start my wander into Uney, such a Some haters have said that thats a propatrek in. like a 45 min walk cos I always get ganda machine for the Iranian Government, real lost, and the SU refuse to pay for all my EXW , GRQ·W WKLQN WKDWV WUXH EHFDXVH D cab rides. Sometimes I just get the tube, 3URSDJDQGD LV D FOXE DQG , GRQ·W WKLQN 3UHVLEXW WKDW·V RQO\ ZKHQ , FDQ ÀQG WKDW *RRG MRE dent Armoured Dinner Jacket is allowed to ZH SXW WKRVH PDSV DURXQG /6( RWKHUZLVH ,·G JR LQ WKHUH $ PDFKLQH LV OLNH D FDU RU D DOZD\V KDYH WR VWD\ LQ WKH WXQV FRV ,·G JHW PLFURZDYH DQG WKRVH FDQ·W EH LQ FKDUJH RI lost on Campus lol. WHOO\ VWDWLRQV DQG ' ,UDQ LV VRPHWKLQJ WKDW , GRQ·W OLNH WR KDYH GRQH GHIR QRW D FRXQWU\ *HW LQWR WKH RIÀFH DQG WRUPHQW P\ tindey baby. He thinks he can get away with 13.05 - 15.00: Lunch time, gotta have some trying to do some of my work when I get fuel in the engine to keep on reppin mah LQWR WKH RIÀFH ODWH EXW , MXVW WHOO HYHU\RQH students. preach! I like to go to companies to ignore him, and then send him to his fake that are ethical and dont attack the working FRPPLWWHHV ,W·V VZHHW WKDW KH WKLQNV KH·V people. SO STARBUCKS is deffo out. I premaking a difference/helping anyone. fer to go to proper places like Costa Coffee, Pret a Manger, or MaccyDees. )HPLQLVP WLPH ,·P D UHDOO\ ELJ name on the SRS subreddit, taking to the KDYH D PHHWLQJ ZLWK &DOKRXOLLQWHUZHE] WR ÀJKW PLVRJHQ\ DQG SDWULDUFK\ gan or someone. I was defo in a bright room is super important for me to do on behalf of at a table, so either it was a meeting or the my students is something I think we can all 0HW DUUHVWHG PH DJDLQ , JXHVV ,·OO ÀQG RXW agree is super cool. And I love making popuwhen a letter comes through the door. list posts for more karma. I like cats, but QRW EDELHV DV ZHOO LW·V OLNH P\ SHUIHFW ZHE /DWH JR WR WKH 7XQV DQG JHW ZDVWHG site. amirite?

Cocktail Corner Here you can find all the brill cocktails from your GenSex bartender. This week I am doin drinks that are close to ma hart. These are all Putin-Day specials that are bound to make you feel all warm and gooey inside. Enjoy!

K 1 B

BROKEN BRITAIN

ANTIFREEZES

-CAN OF SPECIAL BREW -LOTS OF BLENDED WHISKY

-COLOURED ALCOHOL DRINKS -OR ACTUAL ANTIFREEZE

PUT IT IN A CUP OR A FLOWER VASE, BASICALLY WHATEVER RECEPTICAL YOU CAN FIND.

GO GET SOME OF DEM NEON COLOURED ALCOPOPS THAT TASTE ALL SWEET AND VODKA-EE.

MIX IN THE WHISKY AND SHAKE OR SWIRL IT ALL TOGETHS.

MIX MANY OF THEM TOGETHER AND ADD SOME SUGAR. SHAKE EM GOOD.

FOR THE FULL EFFECT YOU SHOULD BE SAT IN A BUS SHELTER IN THE MORNING ON A WORK DAY.

IF THE SHOP DONT SELL THE ALCOPOPS JUST GET ANTIFREEZE AND PUT A BIT OF WATER AND SUGAR IN IT.

*dont actually drink antifreeze*

BLACK AND FAKE TAN -LAGGER -BLACK BEER

GET DEM TO POUR THE LAGGER IN AND THEN TOP IT UP WITH THE BLACK BEER FROM SCOTLAND, OR WAIT, IS IT IRELAND? FUCK. WHATEVERS IT DONT MATTER. PUT IN SOME SUGAR AND MIX IT AROUND TO MAKE IT ALL DELICIOUS.

The Beaver 11.12.2012

PartB

VISUAL ARTS CONTEMPORARY RUSSIA AT THE SAATCHI GALLERY

21

FOOD & DRINK SATSUMA

22

11.12.2012 PartB

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Cover Art

COURTESY OF DAQUELLA MANERA

CORRECTION THE HALO 4 REVIEW LAST WEEK (4.12.2012) WAS ACTUALLY BY PHILIP GALLAGHER. SOZ, OUR BAD.

Write for us!

FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ANY OF US ABOUT OPPORTUNITIES TO WRITE FOR PARTB

PartB

R

enowned Canadian filmmaker Deepa Mehta’s latest film, Midnight’s Children, based on Salman Rushdie’s acclaimed 1980 novel of the same name, is an admirable portrayal of momentous events in Indian history as they are interwoven with the tale of protagonist Saleem’s (Satya Bhabha) life, magical capabilities, and tumultuous personal relationships. It is perhaps easiest to get lost in the drama-filled first half of the film, which paints a rich portrait of Colonial India, exploring the life of Saleem’s grandparents, Dr. Aadam Aziz (Rajat Kapoor) and Naseem (Shabana Azmi), and their three daughters, including Saleem’s mother Amina (Shahana Goswami), particularly as themes of love and loss are set against the bittersweet backdrop of India’s eventual independence and partition. Mehta’s choice not to film explicit scenes of violence and war, and instead focus on dialogue and character emotion is an effective way of conveying the tension and uncertainty of the time. However, as it is jam-packed with sequences of events, countless characters, and locations, it is difficult to remain fully immersed and emotionally involved for the film’s duration. The moments of poignant comedy that are scattered about these first few scenes

ENTERTAINMENTONE

Film

ÂMIDNIGHT'S CHILDREN are sorely missed by the end of the epic journey. The initial romance between Aziz and Naseem, who are forbidden by her strict father to meet face-to-face, sets an entertaining tone, which is, regrettably, not sustained. At midnight on August 15, 1947, the moment of Indian independence, Saleem, son of a poor street performer couple, and Shiva (Siddharth Narayan), son of the wealthy Ahmed (Ronit Roy) and Amina, are born. However, Mary (Seema Biswas) the Catholic nurse on duty, who eventually becomes Saleem’s nanny, switches the babies as a form of personal rebellion, destining Saleem to a life of privilege, Shiva to one of poverty. We follow Saleem’s life in a beautiful Victorian villa and his discovery of the ‘midnight’s children’, who were all born within the hour of India’s independence and,

like Saleem, are bestowed with supernatural abilities. This is the point in the film when it becomes more than a challenge to stay on board with the rapid sequence of events and character developments that follow. What we see is episode after episode, without any real substance connecting them. Perhaps the film can be faulted for being too accurately realizing the novel. The magical realism for which Rushdie’s novel is known and praised for does not translate well on the big screen, where it is, unfortu-

was inspired, despite being jarring, out of place and a little distasteful at times. It provided a recurrent theme that united the opposing gangs, highlighting their similarities rather than their differences. However, it did partially glamorise gang culture despite the film’s best intentions not to, as more often than not the men on screen evidently saw themselves as Birmingham’s answer to 50 Cent, rapping in the suburbs and loving every minute of it. Nothing detracts from the uphill struggle of conflict resolution than a rap complete with the odd subtitle for explanation purposes. Shots of the men being greeted in the streets by admiring young boys and squealing girls clamouring for photos didn’t help their serious ‘noncelebrity’ cause. Although important, the music was limited in comparison to the archive footage of riots from both last year and in 1985. Deviating from the path of gang rivalry quite significantly, Woolcock chose to include the effects of the riots in the film. Having erupted during filming, they were a clear example of the ridiculousness of the entire conflict: the four days of rioting bought about a

temporary and unquestioned truce. United against a common enemy—the police—the two sides channelled their frustration and anger towards the establishment, with the belief that they were merely fighting a continuation of the 'race war' that has divided Britain for decades. The complete change in plot line opened up provocative issues surrounding racism, corruption in the police service, and a general dissatisfaction with the government, while simultaneously emphasising the striking similarities between the Burgers and the Johnsons (the two warring factions). If anything One Mile Away clearly highlights just how remarkable the actions of Dylan and Shabba are. By actively tackling the problem from the inside out, the two men laid their lives on the line in the hope that any change— no matter how small—would mean their children could grow up in a safer city. They

nately, rendered cheesy and repetitive. Picking up some speed again, nearing the end of his marathon journey, Saleem is sent off to Pakistan to live with his aunt Emerald (Anita Majumdar) and uncle Zulfikar (Rahul Bose), elite general in the Pakistani army, where new political events surrounding the Partition and unearthing of family secrets add a much-needed infusion of reality and purpose. Nevertheless, Mehta fast-forwards with overwhelming speed through years of war between east and West Pakistan and eventual freedom. Despite its flustered ending and disconnected middle, Midnight’s Children makes for a touching film, which is undeniably a worthwhile attempt at transporting the viewer to a time of political and social instability, an ever-present and relevant topic worth exploring. A solid ensemble cast, picturesque scenery and set, as well as pulsing music are its redeeming qualities.

Rachel Browne

IN CINEMAS 26 DECEMBER 2012 Director 'HHSD 0HKWD Writers 6DOPDQ 5XVKGLH Run time PLQXWHV

¾ONE MILE AWAY O

ne Mile Away is the latest feature film from controversial director Penny Woolcock. The documentary tells the story of two opposing gang members’ attempts to call a truce to the feud that has divided inner city Birmingham for years. Woolcock uses interviews, archive footage of last summer’s riots, and hip-hop performances to weave together the struggles each side faced in the journey towards reconciliation. The documentary highlighted the regular occurrence of gun crime and the devastating affects the post-code rivalry had on the communities, along with Dylan and Shabba’s uphill struggle to change gang culture from the inside out. The film is a raw interpretation of an utterly hopeless situation. As the government continues to throw money at Birmingham in an attempt to curtail the gang culture, problems only seem to get worse: more people are killed as less people appear to care. This horrifying situation has become the norm, making it increasingly difficult to tackle and find viable solutions to stop the violence. The use of music performances throughout the film

inspired members of each side to become passionate about the future and make positive moves towards a peaceful solution. As a result, a social enterprise is being rolled out to local schools to educate teenagers about the dangers of gang culture, with 3 programmes focusing on music and drama, PSHE lessons, and about the documentary, all aiming to change the mind-set of the next generation. Given the environment several years ago, this development is pretty incredible. One Mile Away is an emotive, interesting and illuminating film, shining a light on a 'lost generation' and an absurd fight over a postcode. By the end you’re willing for a positive end to the negotiations, derailed temporarily by the riots. It’s an on-going process, still under scrutiny today, but in the words of Shabba, 'it’s a journey that’s worth it.'

Emma Forth

FRAMED FILM FESTIVAL at the Barbican Director 3HQQ\ :RROFRFN Producer 5DUH 'D\

The Beaver 11.12.2012

& LIVE~BEN HOWARD

T

wo words: Ben Howard. It is hard to express how incredible this Devonian 'folk-rock' singer is without sounding overwhelmingly forceful or even biased. However, his recent sold-out gig at the O2 Brixton Academy, London met and even superseded all levels of expectation, justifying how brilliant his debut album, Every Kingdom (2011), really is. Releasing Every Kingdom, nominated for this year's highly coveted Barclays Mercury Music Prize, this time last year, Howard has certainly excited the music scene, receiving mostly critical acclaim from those who have had the opportunity to listen to his works. So it comes as no surprise

why his latest run of gigs have been absolute show stoppers. Initially, the crowd did seem pretty restless and annoyingly talkative which is, of course, quite a typical occurrence during most supporting artist's sets. Regardless of this, Willy Mason delivered a great performance of his indie-folk tunes gracing the venue with hits such as 'Oxygen', 'Save Myself', ending with 'I've Got Gold'. It was rather sweet when the whole team walked on stage to christen Mason with party poppers as a celebration of his time with 'Howard & co.' since it was his last night touring with them. It's finally showtime and Howard opens with 'Everything', instantaneously re-

minding the crowd just how sensational his ability to marry complex guitar melodies with emotionally uplifting lyrics to produce a completely innovative, and truly captivating performance, distinct from the original album version. It is perfectly fine if music artists choose to focus on reproducing an 'album sound' when playing on a live scale, but often this just appears as though they are not as passionate about their own music to want to advance and experiment with their sound even further. Howard is definitely the complete opposite. You could quite literally see the passion oozing out of him and his accompanying band members, with great instrumental break-

downs and climaxes, most definitely helped by the upbeat crowd-pleasers 'The Wolves', 'Only Love' and 'The Fear'. We were also treated to three out of four tracks from Howard's latest release The Burgh Island EP, namely 'Esmerelda', 'Oats in the Water' and 'Burgh Island'. The transition towards this darker, broodier tone juxtaposed with the overall jovial character of his debut album 'Every Kingdom' throughout the set just reinforced the flexible nature of Howard's musical capabilities. ‘Oats in the Water’ was just as hauntingly chilling as it was when I first listened to the track: the huskiness of Howard's vocals, discordant harmonies and the once again,

highly passionate performance of this track was enough to send shivers down my spine. Coming back on stage for an encore, personal favourite 'Promise' closed this magnificent gig, filling the venue with beautiful, stripped back acoustic harmonies, leaving the lyrics “I come alone here� to echo and settle unto the buzzing audience. Although the general allure of Ben Howard was not enough to completely subdue the rather talkative audience (a factor which he himself even joked about), he most certainly knows how to entertain and deliver an absolutely fantastic show.

Club et al. opt for. Rather, they push the speakers hard with howling vocals and relentless rhythmic pounding; somehow within this cacophony they DUH DEOH WR VXFFHVVIXOO\ ೉QG the delicate and melodious. An older crowd of seemingly Scottish expats formed the majority of the audience in The Garage judging by the sea of shining, bald-heads and Saltires in attendance. In fact, it was pleasant to see a room in the Mecca for Bougie southerners that is Islington for one night channel the atmosphere of a Scottish working men’s club. This crowd were not inappropriate too for a style of music so anthemic that it would not be out of place sung from the stalls of Celtic Park— the crowd shared in the riotous emotions as a loyal chorus. On visual impressions, Glasvegas have certainly got it right. They are the second band to have been reviewed

by yours truly this term who appear to have found themselves onstage on the way to a funeral (cf. The Chapman Family). Call all-black unoriginal? I call it cool. Say what you want about them, they do performance properly; following in the footsteps of Johnny Cash, Glasvegas have played to prisons and \RXQJ RŕłˆHQGHUV LQVWLWXWHV Interestingly, on the night it became apparent that what distinguishes Glasvegas is what holds them back. The baying vocals of the singer James Allan and the strongly distorted, reverberated accompaniment seems at once to be what communicates their sincerity and restricts their musical spectrum. Allan’s lyrics and delivery spoke of the torments of love, childhood and home in a manner that was refreshingly genuine. However, after over an hour of their material, the repetition

in use of cadences and register, became trying. There was a lack of innovation in their approach to song-writing despite them being able to draw on a catalogue that spans 6 years. I was left confused whether Glasvegas should be applauded for their heart-onsleeve approach to producing their art or admonished for being one-dimensional. Comparing the band to The White Stripes, who managed to consistently transform within the FRQ೉QHV RI WKHLU VHOI LPSRVHG ‘box’, suggests that Glasvegas should perhaps take inspiration from their name and make a few gambles themselves. Nevertheless, if Glasvegas are the hometown band they appear to be then the approval of their crowd of disciples suggested a judgement different to mine; ending their set with their pugnacious ‘Go Square Go’ saw somebody climb on to the soundboard at

the back and a women in her 50s to left of me both raise WKHLU ೉VWV WR WKH DLU VFUHDPing ‘here we fucking go!’ No doubt for many, particularly the Scottish, their vignette of small-town life is as endearing as it is heart-breaking. For me too, a number of their songs ZHUH VLPSO\ PDJQL೉FHQW ‘Daddy’s Gone’ which deals with the trauma of an absent father may be one of the most innocent and delicate popsongs to have been penned in a generation. Regardless, it will take some sheer creativity in reviving their sound before I would commit to seeing the band again. Their next release, /DWHU :KHQ 7KH 79 Turns To Static, is due early 2013; it will either be as inspiring as they were in their infancy or forever commit them to the pub circuit of bonnie Alba.

œ LIVE~GLASVEGAS

I

t was 1st December, and as Christmas began its approach The Beaver decided to brave the unforgiving cold to see what the northerly winds had brought from the Highlands. Fortunately, it turned out to be Scottish alternatives Glasvegas gracing the stage at The Garage. What follows is all that was recovered from The Beaver’s journals exhumed from the snowy tundras of Islington‌ The ‘season to be jolly’ is the perfect time to experience this achingly melancholic 4-piece band from Glasgow (if you hadn’t guessed); Glasvegas’ songs revive the evocative art of storytelling long forgotWHQ E\ WKRVH ZKR ೉OO WKH SDJHV of indie-bibles like NME—and it chimes undeniably wintry. Glasvegas fall in with rare grouping of indie bands that reject the intricate but hollowVRXQGLQJ JXLWDU ULŕłˆV WKDW WKH majority like Bombay Bicycle

23

Ɖ Koko Achiaa Owusu

Ɖ Emir Nader

THE PULSE LIST - ALBUMS OF THE YEAR For our last issue, the Pulse DJ's got together to share their favourite musical moments IURP +HUH LV D VHOHFWLRQ of their most loved albums WKLV \HDU ASA THOMAS THUR 8-9 Rising from the very obscure depths of Manchester's 'difficult' electronic music scene, Andy Stott's Luxury Problems has illuminated what this sound is all about. A dark ambience wraps around sludgy kick-drum thuds while snippets of vocal brilliance perch on top of it all. Andy Stott pretty much just made DQ DOEXP WKDW ೉OOHG D KROH LQ British electronic music that no one knew was there. SEB ASH WED 5-6 I don't see why my favourite

album of 2012 necessarily has to have come out this year; uncovering an old album that you haven't listened to before but you can't stop listening to seems just as worthy. That's why my album of 2012 and the soundtrack to my year was Stop Making Sense, a live album by Talking Heads. 'Girlfriend is Better' and 'Life During Wartime' have these amazing warbling electric keyboard solos that make me dance in the street and play airpiano absolutely every time. And the lyrics are wonderfully absurd—all the bests ones are. SEB SMITH WED 3-4 My favourite album of 2012 has been On The Impossible Past by the Menzingers (Epitaph Records). It's a record that's characterised by great song-

writing, aggression, honesty and a lot of heart— something all great modern punk records should have. ADAM STEEL FRI 4-5 Being There Breaking Away (2012) Packed full of 3-minute dream pop wonders, Being There’s debut album Breaking Away will blow a summery breeze through any room, no matter how cold, dark or wintry. Their C86 inspired tunes, while breaking no new ground, are perfectly formed and cover everything from teen angst, to growing up, to Allen Ginsberg. Nineties music for noughties kids! EDI DRUMS FRI 6-7 Boogie Down Productions Edutainment (1989)

Edutainment [Education + Entertainment] is typical of rapper Kris Parker (KRS-One)'s earlier style: lyrical agility with a very strong message, backed up by a crew of equally skilled rappers, with as much astute politically and socially challenging observation as any social science dissertation, all delivered over stripped chopped beats. STEPH CHIANG WED 3-4 Godspeed You! Black Emperor Allelujah! Don't Bend! Ascend! (2012) This is my favourite release of the year—bar none. It's hard to top GY!BE in terms of intensity and movement and they are VWLOO YHU\ LQೊXHQWLDO LQ WKHLU genre despite it being a decade since <DQTXL 8 ; 2. At the same time, it's also a relief to

know that GY!BE are back, still as bleak and uncompromising (and cryptic) as ever, which is another reason why I chose this. TOM DILKE FRI 7-8 Dirty Projectors Swing Lo Magellan (2012) Yes, their lyrics are occasionally impenetrable and pretentious but this record has some impossibly great moments, such as the warm strings at the end of 'Dance for You' or the stark piano and vocal harmonies of 'Impregnable Question'. This motley crew of Brooklyn oddballs have yet again delivered an album with a uniquely satisfying blend of musical complexity and warmth.

24

11.12.2012 PartB

x VIVA FOREVER! the musical PICADILLY THEATRE

T

he new Spice Girls musical does not sound immediately promising—more QDXVHDWLQJ‍ݍ‏EXW , FDQ VD\ WKDW Viva Forever! FKDQJHG P\ OLIH So let’s clear a few things XS 7KH VKRZ LV QRW DFWXDOO\ DERXW WKH 6SLFH *LUOV EXW GRHV use their music; much in the same way that Mamma Mia LV QRW DFWXDOO\ DERXW $EED EXW LQVWHDG DERXW D SURPLVFXRXV mother in Greece who doesn’t

NQRZ ZKR KHU FKLOG‍ݰ‏V IDWKHU LV Viva Forever! LV DERXW D \RXQJ JLUO FDOOHG 9LYD ZKR LV VHDUFK ing for fame and fortune with KHU WKUHH EHVW IULHQGV RQ D UH DOLW\ 79 WDOHQW VKRZ :KHQ VKH KDV WR PDNH D FKRLFH EHWZHHQ her friends and fame, she FKRRVHV IDPH EXW VRRQ OHDUQV that it is not all she had hoped IRU , DP DV ELJ RI D IDQ RI WKH 6SLFH *LUOV DV DQ\ V JLUO

EXW , PXVW DGPLW , ZDV QRW H[ SHFWLQJ WKH VKRZ WR EH JRRG )XQ" <HV &KHHV\" &HUWDLQO\ -XVW QRW JRRG 0\ SUHMXGLFHV KRZHYHU ZHUH FRPSOHWHO\ GLVSURYHG 7KH VKRZ ZDV IDQ WDVWLF ,W LV HDV\ WR IRUJHW KRZ many hits the Spice Girls had, and they are all used in innoYDWLYH DQG XQH[SHFWHG ZD\V‍ݍ‏, ZDV EDZOLQJ P\ H\HV RXW GXU LQJ WKH ‍*ݯ‏RRGE\H‍ ݰ‏DQG ‍ݯ‏0DPD‍ ݰ‏ PDVK XS -HQQLIHU 6DXQGHUV

has produced a hilarious script too, despite dealing with some surprisingly deep themes: the portrayal of women in the meGLD WKH PRGHUQ REVHVVLRQ ZLWK fame, and the complexities of a mother-daughter relationVKLS , ZDV PRUH VKRFNHG WKDQ DQ\RQH KDYLQJ H[SHFWHG VRPH VLOO\ URPS DERXW *HUL +DOOLZHOO WR EH FRQIURQWHG ZLWK D VXEWOH depiction of the persecution of ROGHU ZRPHQ LQ WKH PHGLD ,W managed to defy most of the clichÊs of its medium—most RI WKH DFWRUV ZHUH DERYH DQG WKH ORYH VWRU\ ZDV PRUH RI D VXE SORW WKDQ WKH IRFXV‍ݍ‏ ZLWKRXW EHLQJ DOLHQDWLQJ RU

anything less than ridiculously IXQ So it wasn’t exactly Les MisÊrables and a lot of the WLPH LW ZDV FKHHV\ EXW Viva Forever! surprised me with LWV GHSWK DQG VWURQJ SRVLWLYH PHVVDJH ,W‍ݰ‏V *LUO 3RZHU DV LW DOZD\V VKRXOG KDYH EHHQ -XVW a word to the wise, if you do VWDUW EOXEELQJ GXULQJ WKH WKDW PDVK XS FKHFN WKDW -HQQLIHU 6DXQGHUV LVQ‍ݰ‏W VLWWLQJ EHKLQG \RX DQG ODXJKLQJ

,VDEHOOD 6LOYHU

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Opens on 11 December 2012 PICCADILLY THEATRE Written by Jennifer Saunders Directed by Paul Garrington Starring Hannah John-Kamen, Sally Ann-Triplett, Siobhan Athwal, Lucy Phelps, Dominique Provost-Chalkley

Â? INTERVIEW WITH JOSEPH TIMMS

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JOSEPH TIMMS

ichael Grandage Company announces West (QG VHDVRQ RI ೉ YH plays—Privates On Parade, Peter and Alice, The Cripple of Inishmaan, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Henry V—at the at the Noel Coward TheaWUH ZLWK RYHU WLFNHWV IRU RQO\ e 1RWDEOH DFWRUV across the season include Simon Russell Beale, Judi Dench, Jude Law, Daniel RadFOLŕłˆ H 6KHULGDQ 6PLWK 'DYLG :DOOLDPV DQG %HQ :KLVKDZ Peter Nichols’s awardwinning comedy, Privates on Parade, is set against the murGHURXV EDFNGURS RI WKH 0D laysian campaign at the end of WKH 6HFRQG :RUOG :DU 1LFK ROV DFWXDOO\ VHUYHG ZLWK WKH &RPELQHG 6HUYLFHV (QWHUWDLQ PHQW LQ DQG KDV GUDZQ from his experiences to create D YLYLG SLHFH RI WKHDWUH 3UL YDWH 6WHYHQ )ORZHUV SOD\HG E\ -RVHSK 7LPPV LV SRVWHG to the Song and Dance Unit in 6RXWK (DVW $VLD ZKHUH VHUYLQJ XQGHU WKH ೊ DPER\DQW &DSWDLQ 7HUUL 'HQQLV KH GLVFRYHUV LW WDNHV PRUH WKDQ MXVW D XQL IRUP WR EHFRPH D PDQ , VSRNH WR -RVHSK 7LPPV ZKLOH KH ZDLWHG IRU KLV IDNH WDQ WR GU\ LQ EHWZHHQ UHKHDUV als‌

WKH QXPEHU RI SOD\V WKDW KH wrote: he wrote so, so many EXW VRPH ZHUHQ‍ݰ‏W VR VXFFHVV IXO

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MICHAEL GRANDAGE HAS DIRECTED THE SHOW, WHAT HAS THAT BEEN LIKE? ([WUDRUGLQDU\ 0LFKDHO has created a piece of theaWUH WKDW LV YHU\ VKDUS DQG YHU\ SRLQWHG +H‍ݰ‏V SKHQRPHQDO WR ZRUN ZLWK 7KH VXEMHFW PDW WHUV TXLWH WULFN\‍ݍ‏LW‍ݰ‏V DERXW D ZDU WKDW QR RQH NQRZV‍ݍ‏EXW LW LV GULYHQ E\ 6LPRQ 5XVVHOO

AND GRANDAGE IS PRETTY MUCH ONE OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN THEATRE RIGHT NOW. <HDK EXW \RX GRQ‍ݰ‏W WKLQN RI KLP OLNH WKDW KH‍ݰ‏V VR OLNH DEOH VR DPLDEOH 7KH JUHDW WKLQJ DERXW KLP LV WKDW KH SXOOV \RX DVLGH KH WDNHV WKH WLPH WR VSHDN WR \RX RQH RQ RQH +H RQO\ FDVWV SHRSOH WKDW

I SAW ONLINE SOMEONE HAS SAID YOU’RE ‘BECOMING ONE OF THE BEST IN THE BUSINESS'. I wouldn’t say that at all! 0\ PXP SUREDEO\ ZURWH WKDW‍ ݍ‏WKDW‍ݰ‏V D YHU\ NLQG WKLQJ WR VD\ 7KLV LV E\ IDU WKH ELJ JHVW EUHDN RI P\ ‍ݯ‏FDUHHU‍ ݰ‏WR EH LQ WKH :HVW (QG LV D ER\ hood dream come true, and ,‍ݰ‏YH ZRUNHG KDUG WR JHW KHUH ,‍ݰ‏YH GRQH VRPH VKLW ,‍ݰ‏YH GRQH SOD\V LQ UDLOZD\ DUFKHV 0\ ID YRXULWH WKHDWUH LQ WKH ZRUOG LV WKH JOREH WKHDWUH DQG , ZRXOG JR EDFN WKHUH DW WKH GURS RI WKH KDW EXW WR EH DW WKH :HVW (QG KHUH LV DPD]LQJ Privates on Parade is showing at the Noel Coward Theatre from 1 December 2012 to 2 March 2013. Tickets ÂŁ10, ÂŁ27.50, ÂŁ57.50. Box office: 0844 482 5141

$Laureance Vardaxoglou

25

The Beaver 11.12.2012

Ă&#x; UNBROKEN LINE

‘H

OVALHOUSE

ow do we know who we are?' This question resonates with all of us and is discussed to great length in soci al and academic worlds alike. It is D TXHVWLRQ WKDW KDV QR GH೉ nite answer, with individuals moulding their identity through heritage, contemporary surroundings and the exploration of new paths. Unbroken Line explores these three parts of self-creation by WDNLQJ WKH DXGLHQFH WR WKH ೊ DW —and the mind—of Dolah, an unemployed Malay living in South East London. Haunted by a mythical warrior, Dolah is forced to address his problems of self-loathing as well as his inability to truly feel, which stems from a disillusionment with his identity. Zubairi transports the audience to Dolah’s childhood, his recent past and his future within 60 minutes. He does so softly and intelligently, interspersing somewhat serious issues of loneliness, urban poverty and sexuality amongst others with gentle, well thought-out com-

edy. Zubairi’s delivery felt neither brash nor overcautious, he created an intimacy with the audience: a true sense of realism. As the only performer, Zubairi represented not only Dolah, but additionally Dolah’s client, friend and later, partner Joe—as well as the mythical being haunting the protago-

= HERO

E

The titular theme of heroism is primarily explored through Danny, whose maxim—‘You can’t stop people being twats. You just have to live your life.’—espoused as a piece of wisdom to Jamie, gives the play a thrusting sense of purpose. The most inspiring sequence consists in his description of a class activity, prompted by Jamie’s challenge, where the children, without even thinking, see no objection to saving a drowning person by allowing him or her on board the ship, regardless of favourite colours or sexual orientation. This gift of understanding and being understood foreshadows his key role in subsequent liberal reform within the school. As such, Crowe presents Danny as a hero in a Hegelian sense— a charismatic maestro of social change on the march towards the historical inevitability of progressivism. Even his past in Sheffield, brilliantly encapsulated in the play’s beginning monologue, where his brother was killed while wearing his ೊ DPER\DQW \HOORZ ERPEHU jacket, sounds like an origin myth. But a hero is only as good as his villain. Much suggestion is made, no less from Danny himself, that the attacks stem not from Jamie’s perceived homosexuality, but his own unpleasant, inconsiderate behaviour and twitchy, nervous disposition. Furthermore, it is even proposed that Jamie intentionally brings about his own victimisation in a perverse attempt to return the status quo to that of homophobia. The competing narratives on the reality of the attacks is

changes in location and ‘realm’ achieved only through unusual and varied lighting from Liam Fahey. The ease of understanding Dolah’s story and struggle without props, if nothing else, is testament to Zubairdi’s skill in performance. Though by the end of the piece, it seemed the sparseness of the room along with the very limited audience capacity was vital to avoiding the blurring of or detracting from the emotional journey Dolah embarks upon. Though Unbroken Line cannot hope to answer the question—how do we know who we are—for everyone, it takes the audience on the journey of one

a constant feature within the play. Perhaps the only people who throw around contentious words such as ‘bullying’, ‘hate crime’, and ‘persecuted’ so casually, are ones who have lived the entirety of their life in a position of blinded privilege, so much so that any minor violation is instantly overproportioned. Crowe is commendable for delving into the psychological insight of Jamie’s barely sublimated homophobia, which arises out of his masculine insecurity and sense of impotency. The change in traditional male-female roles, as well as the normalisation of homosexual relationships leave many men with a loss of purpose. This frustration requires a scapegoat, as demonstrated when he irrationally blames Danny for causing a sexual paradigm shift, which through ‘cosmic distortions’, results in the attacks. It also necessitates a nostalgic yearning for the good old days that characterises much of the conserva-

man's self-discovery, forcing XV WR WKLQN GLŕłˆ HUHQWO\ QRW RQO\ about ourselves, but about our interactions with others. Dolah’s sentiments change from feeling like ‘a world citizen in London, but failing to belong anywhere’ to a realisation that ‘borders and labels mean nothing—we are just people’ and Zubairi’s beautiful and integral performance— undoubtedly aided by through his own experiences as a Malay man in London—swaddles the audience, taking them on that same path, whether they needed the journey or not.

Michelle Worbis

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OVALHOUSE 4-15 December 2012 Devised by Jamie Zubairi Directed by Kath Burlinson Choreographed by Ni MadĂŠ Pujawati

ROYAL COURT THEATRE

. V. Crowe’s Hero is a scintillating, deeply unsettling exploration of the homophobic undertone that still lurks behind the civil veneer of our allegedly liberal society. Briskly directed by Jeremy Herrin, It starts out breezily enough, as Danny (Liam Garrigan), a young homosexual primary school teacher, together with his partner Joe (Tim Steed), express their anxious yet optimistic concerns over whether their adoption application will be approved. Bursting uninvitedly into their domestic sanctum is Jamie (Daniel Mays), Joe’s straight mate from their college days who currently teaches at the same establishment. With his wife Lisa (Susannah Wise), they are trying to concieve through IVF. Jamie has been called ‘gay’ by a 7 year-old student, an act which provokes him, a fullgrown adult, into a verbally vicious response reducing the small child to tears. Subsequent visits show him subjected to escalating levels of DVVDXOW IURP D EXQFK RI ೊ \HUV ZLWK PLVVSHOOHG ‍ݯ‏IDJRW‍ ݰ‏VWXŕłˆ HG in his letterbox, to brutal beating up in a dark alley. An unscrupulous move from Jamie brings the threat home, quite literally, as the attackers follow his trail to the gay couple’s house, jeopardising not only their physical well-being, but also the chance to pick up the crucial phone call informing whether their adoption application has been approved. Crowe creates fascinating characters that not only represent political viewpoints but also display emotional depth.

nist. The truly Brechtian representations of these characters was impressive, not least due to Zubairi’s ability to hold a conversation between two characters so diametrically opposed. This came into particular fruition towards the end of the piece as the journey of self-discovery came to a close, cumulating in a painting by Dolah. As this painting progressed Zubairi’s right hand side became Joe, and the unbroken lines of Zubairdi’s left and right hands intertwined, so did the lives of Dolah and Joe, and as the gaps on the canvas were ೉ OOHG VR ZHUH WKRVH LQ 'RODK‍ݰ‏V life. This representation, portrayed through mere hand movements and facial expressions, rather than dialogue, was in fact so intimate it felt as though the fourth wall, which had been so brutally broken down through handshakes and small talk previously, had been reconstructed. The daring absence of set and costume left Zubairi wholly exposed throughout, with

tive mindset throughout history. Again, Crowe responds to this reactionary line of thinking—‘Maybe the change is that nothing at all has to change.’ —by pointing out that since things have already changed, the position is tantamount to trying to change it back. The twin blossomings of these diametrically opposed personalities symbolise the two polarising forces inherent within any society: social progress and resistance to it. Naturalistically portrayed, Crowe asks the audience which one

they would rather be. Mike Britton’s set designs are empathetic to the dynamic between the two couples and the play's tonal direction. We start from Joe and Danny’s light, modern kitchen in the ೉ UVW DFW WR -DPLH DQG /LVD‍ݰ‏V dark, worn down one in the second—a change which reೊ HFWV WKH PRYHPHQW RI WKH play's driving force from Danny's contagious optimism to Jamie’s manifest inner turmoil. Garrigan is delightfully wondrous as an energetically LQVSLUDWLRQDO ೉ JXUH LPEXHG with a kind of relatable vulnerability. Mays is a force of nature, strutting around the stage in a destructive mania, simmering with stress even in moments of seeming calmQHVV 6WHHG LV KLJKO\ Hŕłˆ HFWLYH as Joe in providing a pragmatic counterpoint to Danny’s idealism. Likewise, Wise, although sadly underwritten, excels in projecting the quiet desperation required for the role. Hero is a contradiction of a play. It purports heroic idealism yet undercuts that with the chilling reality of its devastating conclusion.

Â?Â?Â?Â?

Josh Jinruang

ROYAL COURT THEATRE 23 November-22 December 2012 Written by E. V. Crowe Directed by Jeremy Herrin Starring Liam Gerrigan, Daniel Mays, Tim Steed, Susannah Wise

26

11.12.2012 PartB

NEW ART FROM RUSSIA SAATCHI GALLERY Boris Mikhailov, Case Study 1997-98

I

t is Charles Saatchi‘s celebrated masterpiece of this year‘s exhibition season: Gaiety is the Most Outstanding Feature of the Soviet Union, an exhibition featuring 18 emerging contemporary Russian artists whose work draws from the country‘s 20th century history, is an utterly arresting, surprising, disturbing and original experience. Times of sociopolitical change are often catalysts for artistic expression, and this is clearly reflected in the paintings, installations and sculptures of the carefully selected artists: rather than a celebration of freedom and wealth, they mirror destitution and hopelessness as a result of the collapse of the Communist system. No other artistic medium than photography explores those dimensions of

three series of photography by leading established and emerging artists, beautifully presented in the spare and bright Duke of York‘s Building. The Ukrainian photographer Boris Mikailov, probably the most influential photographer working in Russia today, has spent decades documenting the social condition of individuals living in the Soviet Union and the aftermath of its demise. Case History (19971998) comprises 413 closeup portraits of people in his hometown Kharkov, over a hundred of them exhibited across the 1st-floor galleries at various sizes, from monumental to intimate. Ten years after the dismantlement of the Soviet system, the photographs showcase the newly marginalised individuals failed by the promises of Perestroika and capitalism: poor elderly women pull off underwear to expose their scarred bodies, one-toothed grins, squalid children sniffing self-made drugs on the dirty streets. The ‘carnival of desperate characters‘ is grotesque, mesmerising and repulsive. Sergei Vasiliev worked as a staff photographer for a newspaper in Chelyabinsk for 30 years, during which he was also a prison warden. He documented an underground artistic phenomenon: Vasilev‘s photographs between 1989 and 1993 show an extensive

range of design made by prisoners onto their skin. These homemade tattoos, scraped and inked into the skin with melted book heels, urine or blood, contained a range of coded messages against the Soviet regime and about the prisoners‘ crimes. Swastikas, religious icons, prison chains, virgins and death skulls embellish their entire bodies; they send strong messages to the outside world, at a time when a fifth of the population of the Soviet Union was jailed. The stars of Vikenti Nilin‘s Neighbourhood Series (1993-present) may come from all walks of life but they one big thing in common: they are staring into the abyss, in the form of the commonplace Soviet tower blocks. Yet they do not seem in the least bit worried. The expressions on his subjects‘ faces, as they perch on the edge of windowsills and balconies are phlegmatic, unimpressed, relaxed and almost bored. Nilin‘s images suggest a state of passivity and suspension, perhaps alluding to the state of politics in his home country and the hopelessness of their lives. The specious words of the exhibition title are in fact taken from a 1935 speech given by Stalin, yet they echo differently here. It is impossible to wander about the powerful and compelling exhibition without reminiscing about

political history. Almost every work brings it to mind and one wonders whether paintings of protesters, photographs of post-perestroika outcasts, pastiches of revolutionary posters and sculptures of dying and disguised Russian bureaucrats are the sole issues pre-occupying contemporary Russian art today, or merely Saatchi‘ personal taste. There is much more that can be said about Gosha Ostretsov‘s subversive comic installations, the ingenious and disturbing installations of Daniel Bragin and Nika Neelova, as well as Dasha Fursey‘s Boundary Post Of A Cat Bajun; and there is much more Soviet art to explore at Breaking the Ice: Moscow Art 1960s-1980s on the top floor of the building. An immensely interesting, fascinating and inspiring exhibition, it features some of the most well-known modern Russian artists ranging from Ilya Kabakov, who destroyed some

pumpkin croquettes), Kaiso Salad (Japanese seaweed with carrot and yet more edamame), Tuna maki, and Salmon nigiri. I ordered the fantastic Duck katsu from the specials menu and only had to watch the chef prepare it in the open kitchen for a few minutes before it landed in front of me. (It’s probably a good idea to order any hot dishes from your waiter as they get cold quickly on the conveyer belt.) Starting to feel slightly full, we hastily moved on to what we came for. YO! Sushi have five different ramen dishes to choose from. We opted for the Chicken Ramen and Kaisen (fishcake) Ramen. The steaming dishes were the perfect winter warmers as promised – both were tastier and cheaper (£8) than what you had that one time at Wagamama. They arrived at the same time here too. The umami broths were beautifully seasoned—the ramen noodles, scallions, sesame seeds and wakame slotted in well with the tender chicken and soft fishcake. My egg was a bit overcooked, but I ate it all the same. A choice of dipping sauces—sesame oil, garlic purée and chilli oil —are offered and we eagerly chucked these in for an added

taste booster. At around 400 calories, these are a superb choice for those wanting to watch the waistline. I enquired about the Green Tea and Black Sesame ice creams, but these were sadly unavailable. Instead our friendly waiter suggested his favourite dessert, the Chocolate Mochi (dark chocolate filled rice balls), which were wonderfully rich and sent me onto the verge of a food coma. Here, the sushi’s good and the ramen’s great. Really great. YO! Sushi have teamed up with Channel 4 to promote it—you might have caught their Ramen vs. Hunger ad after an episode of Big Bang

his own paintings while being exhibited, Boris Orlov and Dimitry Prigov. It showcases metaphysical and analytical art, and last but not least, Sots Art—Soviet Pop Art—featuring bravely sardonic works like kitsch portraits of Stalin, the anti-heroic monuments of Alexander Kosolapov and satirical commentaries in form of advertisements. Russian contemporary art still feels remote and relatively unknown except through headlines about its growing popularity among the oligarchs. So all credit to Charles Saatchi who curated an exceptional exhibition, which makes Russian modern and contemporary art more accessible to Western audiences. The power of this exhibition comes from more than truth: it is infused with an unquestioning assumption that the personal is political.

Erika Arnold

Gaiety is the Most Outstanding Feature of the Soviet Union & Breaking the Ice: Moscow Art 1960s - 1970s SAATCHI GALLERY Until 5 May 2013

Ö YO! SUSHI W

e appear to be in the midst of an evergrowing obsession with Japanese cuisine. Especially sushi. You can opt out of Hare Krishna and pick up lunch from Wasabi or Itsu on every street corner. If you’re lucky there might be a stray sushi box on the Tesco meal deal bottom shelf. It’s even featured on The Three Tuns menu, squeezed in somewhere between paninis and potato wedges. Sushi is everywhere. We love it. Great. But sushi isn’t the only Japanese delight that we should be whacking out our chopsticks for. Enter Ramen, the Japanese noodle soup made fashionable in London by Tonkotsu and Bone Daddies this year. Desperate for any chance to be trendy, I was loving life when invited to try out a London restaurant’s new ramen menu. Though it wasn’t one of those new, cool, hip-as-hell ramen bars that London’s been raving about for the last six months. No. I went to YO! Sushi. That’s right. The bright, shiny, psychedelic chain that made sushi go mainstream has jumped on the bandwagon with their ramen winter warmers until the end of January and wanted us to try it out.

We visited YO! Sushi in Soho, the first of the chain’s restaurants to open up back in January 1997. Though it was late on Sunday afternoon, the place was buzzing with the chatter of a fairly full restaurant and the whirring of the ‘kaiten’ sushi conveyor belt. Despite a good range of Japanese beers and familiar wines, I alternated between green tea (£1.50 with unlimited refills) and those cute taps that spurt out chilled water (still or sparkling). Getting food’s a bit different. If you haven’t been to YO! Sushi before, this is the deal. Sit at your booth and excitedly grab little domed dishes (coloured according to price) from the conveyor belt. Keep these stacked up until you’re done. Waiter tots them up. You pay. Done. However, with over 90 pretty unfamiliar dishes whizzing around you, this can be at best tricky and at worst traumatic. Whilst trying desperately to pop out edamame beans from their pods without taking my eye out, I flicked frantically through the menu to try and work out what food was flying past me. I soon calmed down and tucked into a variety of dishes: Pumpkin Korroke (crispy breaded

Theory. Check out their website www.yosushi.com (voted Best Website in the World in 2010 don’t you know) to find out more about deals and offers such as Blue Mondays, all-you-can-eat Sumo Sundays, and how to get your 25% student discount. And I dare you to tweet them about how amazing your ramen is with their #RamenWins—they’ll reply and follow you and it’ll be just great. Because YO! Sushi, even with its unnecessary exclamation mark, is actually pretty damn alright.

,Matt White

52 Poland St W1F 7NQ 020 7287 0443 Mon-Thu Noon-10.30pm, Fri-Sat Noon-11pm, Sun Noon-10.30pm

Cuisine Japanese Average spend £10-15 Meals Lunch, dinner Reservations No

27

The Beaver 11.12.2012

Æ SATSUMA

T

SATSUMA

ake a walk through Soho and you might find yourself coming across more and more Japanese restaurants. Quite surprisingly, only a few years ago you couldn’t find more than your big Italian chains and small cafes when walking through the revitalized district. But now as the town welcomes more and more creative industries whose employees commute from trendy parts of East London, even more welcome are these chic restaurants of our Far Eastern friends. Satsuma is one of these Japanese restaurants in Soho that seems to be quickly gaining popularity as it makes an understated but intriguing presence on Wardour Street with its warm lighting, orange dÊcor and communal tables. The recently refurbished restaurant has just gone through a re-launch in which it’s orange, pod styled booths have now relocated downstairs and have been replaced by large square tables that are currently a common characteristic in most Far Eastern restaurants in London. Satsuma seems to place particular emphasis on its Bento boxes, which seem to be taking the capital by storm as a popular lunch or evening meal. I quickly oblige as the wide selection of Bento is

unique to the restaurant as opposed to the limited choice in other restaurants and lunchtime chains. Very quickly, a lovely wooden box with six compartments and a separate bowl of Miso soup is brought to the table. Each compartment houses a different dish, mine in particular is a Chicken Katsu Bento and thus contains the aforementioned complimented by sticky rice, Gyoza dumplings, some vegetarian sushi, a salad in a spicy mango dressing and a substantial portion of Katsu sauce. The chicken is bread crumbed perfectly in a light, crispy panko crust that melts in the mouth whilst the Katsu

Ă? GIRAFFE

GIRAFFE

H

ave you ever paid a visit to a restaurant—particularly in London—and IRXQG WKH VWDŕłˆ VHHPLQJO\ LQ capable of mirroring the spirit of the establishment itself? Whether it’s an inability to express enthusiasm whilst serving you, or an underlying sensation that everything seems simply too much of a hassle? Despite a venue’s attempt to convey an upbeat ambience, WKH VWDŕłˆ RIWHQ FRXQWHUDFWV DQ\ element of the intended ‘feelgood factor’ of a dining experience. However, for those desperately craving service with a smile, *LUDಝ H, simply put, marks a sensational change. On this occasion, we tried *LUDŕłˆ H‍ݰ‏V %UXQVZLFN &HQWUH branch, just a stone's throw from Russell Square. Conveniently situated for campus, the branch, like others dotted DURXQG WKH FDSLWDO Dŕłˆ RUGV D

cozily-sized venue with charmLQJ DQG KRPHO\ GÂŤFRU Dŕłˆ RUG ing the ability to tuck oneself up in a generously-sized booth, ensnared in a deceptively comfy table with a homely set of coloured chairs, or sit outside—albeit this is clearly the wrong season for the latter! We were blessed with an enthusiastic Italian waiter, who, again unlike prior conventions would convey in the restaurant world, appeared to know the menu back-to-front. Now *LUDಝ H, for those who aren’t frequented with the chain, specialises in ‘world cuisine.’ It is rather easy to assume that no restaurant can Rŕłˆ HU D YDVW UDQJH RI FXLVLQH without some kind of compromise on quality. However, with *LUDಝ H, such compromises simply are not made. The food ZDV DEVROXWHO\ PDJQL೉ FHQW

sauce provides a sweet yet spicy sticky marinade for each bite. The Gyoza are another highlight, copiously filled with minced chicken, spring onion and bamboo shoots, dipped into a thick chilli sauce, they leave the diner yearning for more despite the generous portion of three dumplings. Having eaten more than enough in the Bento box I was still determined to try their Sushi Nigiri, this time in the form of Salmon as opposed to the vegetarian ones that came with the Bento. The pickled ginger and wasabi combination are delightful in tandem with the fresh salmon and sticky rice and although

We began with the Crunchy Coconut Shrimp and the Chicken Potstickers (both ÂŁ5.65), teaming our initial order with a desire to satisfy an inevitable thirst for a bottle of New World Sauvignon Blanc. Whilst the FULVS ೊ DNHV RI FRFRQXW FRPSOH mented the taste sensations inherent within each bite of our prawns, the soy-chili dipping sauce provided a tangy accompaniment to the outrageously tasty chicken. Onto the mains! We opted for the 21 Day Aged Sirloin Steak (ÂŁ15.95), which was, quite honestly, comparable—contestably even better— than steaks that we’ve consumed in several of London’s top eateries. The meat was tender, succulent and was made perfect for order. Our other main, the “Marrakechâ€? Grilled 1/2 Chicken (ÂŁ13.25) was part 7KH ,Y\, part Nando’s— a combination any chicken enthusiast would go wild for, yet putting both eateries to shame. *LUDಝ H also prides itself in its burgers and pasta, but for those who aren’t quite as gluttonous as us, there are ‘lighter’ options, from grills, to a vast range of salads (including a decidedly tempting sushi rice salad) and salmon. The made-to-order fresh fruit smoothies (ÂŁ3.45-3.80) provided a healthy addition—a palette-cleanser perhaps—before we were ready to resume

there’s nothing uniquely spectacular about the sushi itself, it is well presented and importantly, not too dear. The hot sake is particularly pleasant, not simply due to the sub zero temperatures outside, but for its subtle taste combining perfectly with the rich soy and ginger flavours present in all the dishes we order. However the plum wine is rather misleading and at points unpleasant due to the sharp sweetness it brings to the palette on each sip, not to mention the brain resembling plum that sits in the rather misplaced martini glass that it is served in. In fairness, it was ordered after the meal and perhaps would have

worked rather well with the fiery wasabi that was served with the sushi. Ultimately, Satsuma is not quite an authentic Japanese restaurant as such but it is certainly a refreshing break from the big chains such as Wagamama with a far greater choice whilst also being reasonably priced; it just about manages to fit itself onto a student budget with most meal combinations amounting to just over ÂŁ10 without drinks. Furthermore its location and interior provide an exciting atmosphere for diners ensuring a thoroughly enjoyable meal.

,Neraj Thangarajah

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56 Wardour Street, Soho W1D 4JG 020 7437 8338 Mon-Tue Noon-11pm, Wed-Thu noon-11:30pm, Fri-Sat noon12am, Sun noon-10:30pm

Cuisine Japanese Average spend ÂŁ15 (with drinks) Meals Lunch, dinner Reservations Yes

indulging. Desserts. Although being recommended the Apple Crumble, we couldn’t resist ordering the Vanilla Frozen Yoghurt with crushed nuts and orange blossom honey (ÂŁ4.65) and Fresh Fruit SorEHWV e 5Hೊ HFWLYHO\ LW was most likely the gloriously ODUJH SRUWLRQV Dŕłˆ RUGHG WR XV earlier that had led us to steer towards the lighter choices at this point in time. Regardless, WKH FRRO VZHHW DQG WDQJ\ ೊ D YRXUV ೉ QLVKHG XV Rŕłˆ RQ D KLJK Clearly nothing was too much trouble for our waiter, the Italian charmer, as he enthused about even the slightest of intricacies throughout the duration of our meal—from squeezing the lemon to releasing the spices in the chicken,

to detailing the ingredients and taste sensations of each dish, drink and tipple we pondered over throughout the duration of our visit. *LUDಝ H is simply unbeatable when it comes to functionality. Welcoming a complementary cross-section of cuisines, it is a fail-safe option for satisfying all tastes. Whilst it prides itself on being a family restaurant, any familial ‘surface’ noise is neutralised in the venue’s usage of world music within the venue. The prices are fairly in line with respectable chains LQ /RQGRQ EXW DJDLQ *LUDŕłˆ H H[FHOV LQ WKDW LW Rŕłˆ HUV D discount for students and awedroppingly good lunch deals result!

Laura Randle

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19-21 Brunswick Centre WC1N 1AF 020 7812 1336 Mon-Fri 8am-11pm, Sat 9am11pm, Sun 9am-10:30pm

Cuisine World Average spend ÂŁ15-25 Meals Breakfast, lunch, dinner Reservations No

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Features

Features Around the World

Britain’s great political contradiction in Croydon North. In light of these elections, Nigel Farage declared that UKIP are It has been an excellent few now the ‘third force’ in Britweeks for the United King- ish politics. The reality is dom Independence Party that calling themselves the (UKIP) and its leader, Nigel fourth force may not be far Farage. UKIP performed from the truth. well in the PCC elections Electorally, UKIP is beand by-elections, including ginning to pose a real threat coming third in the Corby to the main parties, particuby-election. larly, although not solely, In light of this, Tory MP the Conservatives. Most of and vice-Chairman of the UKIP’s potential voters are Conservative electoral strat- GLVDŕŽ‰ HFWHG 7RULHV RU 7RULHV egy Michael Fabricant chose who want Conservative polthe same week to announce icy to be more Eurosceptic. his intention of a UKIP-Tory Many votes for UKIP might pact at the next election, be protest votes, registerwhich might save the Tories ing an objection to the UK’s “up to forty seatsâ€? and could membership of the EU, or involve a seat around the the lack of a referendum, or cabinet table for Nigel Far- the Conservatives’ lack of age (though admittedly this radicalism. UKIP also has atwas quickly dismissed by tracted people due to its sizsenior Conservatives includ- able libertarian wing, particing David Cameron). ularly among its youth wing. This, to an extent, reveals UKIP do exceptionally how the Tories view their well in European elections. electoral prospects, howev- They came second in 2009 er it also gave Nigel Farage and their aim is to win in an opportunity to attack the 2014, which does not seem Conservatives: “It’s warâ€?, he wholly implausible. declared. They will also hope to win Then came the news that WKHLU ன UVW VHDWV LQ :HVWPLQ Labour controlled Rother- ster at the 2015 election, ham Council removed two which is also possible, given children from the foster care their current momentum. of a couple on that basis that But what can UKIP acthe couple’s membership of tually achieve? Is there a UKIP meant they would be chance that we will ever see unable to meet the “cultur- UKIP in government? al and ethnic needsâ€? of the UKIP’s hope will be that children, who are European they can force the main parmigrants. While one social WLHV VSHFLன FDOO\ WKH 7RULHV worker told the parents, to tack to the right on the isUKIP was a “racist partyâ€?. sue of Europe, mainly. This Cue outrage. Nigel Far- is, essentially, UKIP’s sole age was “very upset and very purpose. We might see UKIP angryâ€? at what he called “a in government if Michael bloody outrageâ€?. Fabricant’s dream of a UKIPEd Miliband called for an Tory pact comes true, but investigation and stated that we are unlikely to see UKIP “being a member of a politi- in government without the cal party like UKIP should promise of a referendum on not be a bar to fostering chil- Britain’s membership of the drenâ€?. Michael Gove called EU (not that UKIP being in the decision “indefensibleâ€?. government is necessary for The Council are looking this. Both Ed Miliband and into the situation, which a David Cameron will be conwill probably result in a U- sidering it as a part of their Turn, but the timing is op- 2015 manifestos). portune for UKIP, as a by Suppose UKIP does, via election in Rotherham was political and electoral presimminent when the story sure or through coalition came out. negotiation, gets what it In the event of the Rother- wants: a referendum on the ham by-election last week, UK’s membership of the EuUKIP came second, winning ropean Union. almost twenty two per cent They will campaign for an of the vote. This was their exit, of course. But they will highest ever share of the be in the contradictory posivote in a Westminster elec- tion of campaigning for their tion. party’s doom. UKIP also performed well If the United Kingdom in the two other by-elec- does become independent WLRQV DOVR ன QLVKLQJ VHFRQG of Europe, what need for in Middlesborough and third the United Kingdom Inde-

pendence Party will their be? UKIP is Britain’s paradox party, campaigning for a cause that would spell their ruin, relying for its existence on Britain being part of institution it hates. The UK’s exit from the EU would either turn UKIP back into a fringe party or it would be subsumed into the Tory party. UKIP’s rise could just be redolent of mid-term dissatisfaction with the Tories. It could spell the split of the right-wing of British politics

The Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant. We will have a future air to the throne regardless of gender due to changes in the law of succession. Additionally there are currently 1000/1 odds on the child’s name being Chardonnay.

Greece ‘the EU’s most corrupt country’ Greece has been rated the ‘most corrupt’ EU country according to Transparency International’s annual Corruption Perceptions Index shows Spain, Portugal, Italy and Greece with the lowest scores in western Europe. The UK ranked 17th least corrupt in the world, with a score of 74.

%HOIDVW ૾ DJ SURWHVWV Up to 1,500 people have taken part in a loyalist protest outside Belfast City Hall. Loyalists opposed to QHZ UHVWULFWLRQV RQ ŕŽ‹ \LQJ WKH XQLRQ ŕŽ‹ DJ DW %HOIDVW FLW\ hall have been holding protests across Northern Ireland all week.

The Autumn Statement George Osborne has released his autumn statement, drawing millions into the higher tax bracket, and introducing deep welfare cuts as the UK is expected to enter a triple dip recession, and austerity is expected to last until 2018. Though there has been a cut in corporation tax, and the planned increase in fuel duty has been scrapped.

'ULYLQJ VFKRRO IRU GRJV RSHQV LQ 1HZ =HDODQG A charity in New Zealand is teaching rescued dogs how to drive a car. The driving school wants to prove how intelligent the animals can be. The novice drivers who have learned to control the brakes, gears and steering wheel.

EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT

Liam Hill, Politics Columnist

The Royal Baby

11.12.2012 | The Beaver

and usher in an era of Labour dominance, just as the Labour-SDP split of 1981 coincided with a further 16 years of Tory government. Whether UKIP are becoming a serious party or just a receptacle for protest is yet to be seen. One thing is for certain: UKIP is Britain’s great political contradiction. The fulன OOPHQW RI LWV SXUSRVH ZRXOG spell the end of the UKIP project. That is what makes it so interesting.

Features

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

An interview with Nigel Lawson Chris Rogers

What is your opinion of George Osborne? Well think that George is doing a good job, and that he has grown into the job tremendously, if you compare his stature now to him as shadow chancellor. He is in a very difficult position, in addition to the difficult job any chancellor has these are difficult times economically and he has to negotiate everything with the Liberal Democrats, which makes everything much harder. If you would recommend any policy, unrestrained by Coalition, what would it be? I think he is broadly right, though there are three things I would do. I would abandon this ridiculous energy policy, this bias in favour of renewable energy and wind power, which is extremely expensive and inefficient. It is tough on the poor who are having to pay more for and on top of the economic difficulties, to have these VHOI LQŕŽ‹ LFWHG ZRXQGV DV ZHOO is damaging. So I would stop that. I would also act more vigorously on removing restrictions and controls of one kind or another, particularly planning. These restrictions are particularly time consuming for small businesses. The Third thing I would do is getting the banks to lend more.

:HOO WKH\‍ڑ‏UH YHU\ GLŕŽ‰ HU ent characters. Margaret 7KDWFKHU ZDV D KLVWRULF ன J ure, and was a radical change. A change for the better in my opinion. Not just in economic policy, but a huge improvement in national moral. People were asking “Were we becoming a developing country rather than a developed country?â€? The answer was no. But in the late 70s it looked like all we could look forward to was a future of decline. Its difficult to remember what it was like back then. But I don’t think you can really compare the two. What was your greatest achievement in your time in H R૿ FH ? That question is difficult to answer. I don’t like to dwell on the past; there are two things

Do you think the Conservatives can win the next election? Oh yes. Well, it’s a long ZD\ RŕŽ‰ DOO JRYHUQPHQWV WHQG to go through a mid term dip, and because opinion polls mid term are not really commitments to vote in a particular way. If people are fed up with the government or economic conditions then they will express their dissatisfaction by deserting the Conservative party or the Liberal Democrat party (many more have been deserting the Liberal Democrats), and support the opposition party, but that happens whoever is in government. When we get to an election we have to ask the question which party would you like to see in government, it’s a different question, a practical question. And so that is why you tend to get these governments in mid term sinking in popularity, and rising again when we get nearer to an election. Now what will happen I don’t know, but what it means is that the oppositions lead at the present time is less than has happened at many times in the past where the government has gone on to win the election. What are your views on Europe? Well I’ve always been a strong European, when I was at Oxford I didn’t take part in domestic student politics at all, the only political activity I had was, in the early 50s was I was strongly in favour of the European countries getting together. But now not only has the need to prevent a revival of German militarism no longer relevant, but more still is there European Union has changed in character to make it a stronger union. And if the other countries want that then we should get out, because that’s not the sort of thing we want to take part in, though we should still have good relations with them.

A royal birth. A future monarch Chris Rogers

It has been announced the latest generation of the royal family is on its way. It has already been declared that the future monarch, as yet unborn, shall be the monarch one day regardless of gender. In essence the laws of succession determining who will be the next monarch are going to be altered. This change is supported by the majority of the country, and is almost certain to be passed. All the current Commonwealth realms have agreed to press ahead with a bill ending the principle of male primogeniture, meaning male heirs will no longer gain priority in the order of succession. The laws are not a matter for the 54-nation Commonwealth as a whole, only for the 16 countries which have the Queen as their head of state, known as realms. The new rules will reverse 300 years of tradition, custom and ODZ VR LW‍ڑ‏V QRW DQ LQVLJQLன FDQW change. There have been at least 11 attempts to change the laws of succession, but they’ve never got anywhere. Now, a sense of urgency has developed. This is not as simple as it appears, not only will it require the support of all the commonwealth nations, who currently recognise the Queen as their head of state: but the succession bill will require amendments to some of Britain’s key constitutional documents, including the Bill of Rights and Coronation Oath Act of 1688, the 1701 Act of Settlement and the 1707 Act of Union between Scotland and England (assuming the union continues post referendum). Under the old succession laws, only when there are no sons, as in the case of the Queen’s father George VI, does the crown pass to the

eldest daughter. Now, what could possibly be wrong with this proposal, you ask? How could anyone reject making the monarchy more representative of the views of modern Britain? There have been attacks made by republicans that if we are spending all this time updating an “royal institutionâ€? why only go this far. We are preventing a discrimination on the grounds of gender that has been maintained for hundreds of years, but we still are approving of the principle that people can attain an office, that of the monarch, on paper the most important office in the nation, based on who you are born to, regardless of merit. The campaign group Republic criticised the decision saying “nothing of substanceâ€? had been changed. “The monarchy discriminates against every man, woman and child who isn’t born into the Windsor family. To suggest that this has anything to do with equality is utterly absurd,â€?. It does seem odd, that we want to make to monarchy more relevant by bringing it into the 21st century in terms of eliminating the principle of male primogeniture, but we do not reform possibly the other great source of discrimination. So the question is, if we are reforming it, on the grounds WKDW LW VKRXOG UHŕŽ‹ HFW PRGHUQ society, why only go this far? Another change is that the new legislation will end the ban on anyone in the line of succession marrying a Roman Catholic. At the moment if a member of the Royal family desires to marry a Catholic, either their partner must convert or they must surrender his place in the order of succession. For example Prince Michael had to forfeit his place in the line

of succession in order to marry his wife. Again one can rationally think, how could anyone oppose this? This is discrimination on the grounds of one’s personal belief. Yet there is controversy around this as well. Should a Roman Catholic marry an the heir to the throne they may choose to raise any children in the Catholic faith. This means that otherwise legitimate heirs to the throne would be forced to step aside, or risk potential constitutional crisis. This is because should a Roman Catholic become Monarch they would become the governor of the established Anglican Church. In reality, this is not likely to have much of an impact. As long as there exists the requirement that the Monarch remain in communion with Anglican Church there is not likely to be much of a threat. Any concern is that once such laws have been changed it opens the door to further revisions to the law. However in reality the monarchy has been evolving for centuries, its role impacted by the Magna Carta, the Civil War, the Glorious Revolution and so on. This is merely the next step in the updating of the monarchy to modernity. Certainly these changes ZLOO KDYH D VLJQLன FDQW LPSDFW and change the future of the monarchy for generations, it KDUGO\ VHHPV DQ LQVLJQLன FDQW change as the republicans are arguing, but in reality, is unlikely to doom the monarchy RU SRVH D VLJQLன FDQW WKUHDW WR the established church. The status of the monarchy has always been subject WR IUHTXHQW UHYLVLRQ UHŕŽ‹ HFW ing the desires of the nation. Throughout all these changes the nation retains a belief that the Monarchy is a good thing, and until this changes, we will not be a republic anytime soon SPINGRAM

How would you compare David Cameron as a leader compared to your experiences under Margaret Thatcher?

where I think I was able to achieve which I am pleased with. One was tax reform tax UHGXFWLRQ DQG WD[ VLPSOLன FD tion and in may cases tax abolition. All within the context of a budget, which was actually LQ VXUSOXV WKHUH ZDV QR GHன cit of all. The other thing was the privatisation programme, which I played a very large part in, and was invented in this country. It was followed all over the world; we were pioneers and it was very successful. Nobody now says the industries that used to be nationalised should be nationalised again.

29

30

Features

11.12.2012 | The Beaver

A tale of two women in America I didn’t meet them together, that would have been too perfect – stumbling onto a forgotten Congressional race in the Badlands of South Dakota bewitched by two women both promising they’d be the best choice for South Dakota, for me. I met Stephanie Herseth 6DQGOLQ னUVW VKH ZDV WKH LQcumbent in 2010, a Democrat, fair, slender, tough, married to Max Sandlin a former Texas Congressman and a bit of a brute – there I go into jealousy, while it may be true it’s not the story I am trying to ZULWH , னUVW FDXJKW VLJKW RI her a year earlier, she is beautiful, but beauty only engages it doesn’t interest. I began reading about her, elected in 2004 aged 34, from the Herseth South Dakotan political dynasty, a moderate she won more votes in the 2006 Congressional elections than any other member of Congress, Chair of the Blue Dog Democrats, listed by The New York Times as ‘one of 17 women who just might be President,’ her speaking style was even compared to Obama’s. It seemed too good to be true, I felt I had stumbled upon a rare beauty at a party. What could I do? I thought about emailing her and asking if I could volunteer for her next campaign but I couldn’t feasibly I was very ill at the time and still in school, I felt impotent, I wanted to write an article about her but what could I say? And where could I publish it? My school magazine was surely too small-fry and I didn’t know anyone in the bigger publications. Eventually I just watched her and fell in love, I think I coaxed myself into wanting to believe the narrative I had already constructed. I watched campaign ads and Senate Hearings, an outsider or an older me, might have been a little underwhelmed but I saw what I wanted, and then what I wanted, bed-bound and very ill, was to feel sated to feel lucky, and I did. And then I forgot about her, it wasn’t immediate and there was no closure that allowed me to move on, slowly though my health returned, I was able to get out more and there was nothing new to read about her, there was nothing left for us to do. You can only stare at a photo for so long and for the next year and a half I didn’t think about her much, occasionally seeing her name in an article I was reading in The Washington Post but all WKDW HYRNHG ZDV WKH GLŕŽ‰HUHQFH DQG WKH GLVWDQFH WKDW KDG னUVW caused me to forget. And then came Kristi Noem. I have struggled working out how best to introduce Kristi, I guess this frank newspaper headline represents my weariness at trying to perfect

the introduction. I was reading an article about promising Republican candidates of the 2010 cycle dubbed by the RNCC (Republican National Congressional Committee) ‘Young Guns’ and there she ZDV DW WKH ERWWRP RI WKH னUVW page, ‘Kristi Noem, who has received support from such KLJK SURனOH EDFNHUV DV 6DUDK Palin and Mitt Romney the former who calls her ‘a Mama Grizzly’, is favoured to beat incumbent blue-dog Stephanie Herseth Sandlin.’ Shock. Anger. Outrage. I don’t write these something clicked moments well, in my experience , னQG WKHP KDUG WR TXDQWLI\ RU identify and my descriptions WHQG WR EHனW P\ XQGHUVWDQGing of their occurrence which is mangled. I became engaged again though. Kristi Noem was 39, formerly Assistant Majority Leader of the South Dakota House of Representatives, she didn’t have the political pedigree of Herseth Sandlin. She had the looks though, where Sandlin is blonde and elegant almost petite, Noem is dark and strong - the kind of woman you would need balls of steel to approach and yet who always seems to be in a serious relationship – in her free time she is a recUHDWLRQDO KXQWHU 6KH TXLFNO\ began matching Sandlin’s accolades as well, outraising her ‍ ڋ‏WKH னUVW WLPH WKLV KDG KDSpened in Sandlin’s career – the Washington Post called her ‘amade-for-Fox-News-star’ and Politics Daily ranked her number 1 in their article ‘next 10 women to watch in Politics.’ And after she won the election (sorry if this ruins the article for anyone but really it is not what the story is about) she was voted Freshman Representative by her newly minted Republican peers to sit on the House Republican Leadership team representing over 70 Republican Freshmen (about 1/3 of the Republican caucus) as 1 of only 2 women on a 30 strong team. In short Sandlin had met her match and she lost the election by 2.2% to someone who proved younger, tougher, smarter and more talented than she. , GLGQ‍ڑ‏W TXLWH NQRZ ZKDW to make of Noem’s victory, I had presumed Sandlin couldn’t be bettered and that even in a Republican year she would eke out a win, that she lost seemed tragic. I started resenting Kristi Noem, it wasn’t just that she had beaten Stephanie it was that she seemed to represent the dark side of politics. While she was tea party backed She also seemed the embodiment of my vitriol, my competitiveness and my strength which I feared at the time, and I hated that those parts could triumph over the kindness and warmth and love that I saw in Stephanie. Her defeat touched me , JXHVV EHFDXVH LW FRQனUPHG the fear within me that when

push came to shove my bad was stronger than my good. After the election I kept an eye on Kristi, not the same casual eye I had read articles on Stephanie with but a suspicious, wary one. I signed up as a supporter on her website and began receiving her weekly emails. I felt somehow though that I was behind enemy lines and as soon as I could னQG WKDW LQFULPLQDWLQJ SLHFH of evidence that must exist I could sit back and wait for the world to discover what I already knew and thus restore Stephanie and all that is good to their rightful place on top of the world and in Congress. Nothing emerged though and Kristi Noem was recently reelected easily with about eight per cent more of the vote than she won against Stephanie two years ago. Her time in office have seen a marked change in my life. After her election in 2010 I was very ill again and spent

THEQSPEAKS

Max Wagner

most of 2010 and 2011 drinkLQJ KHDYLO\ WU\LQJ WR னQG D way back into my life by avoiding the fears that had caused me to lose track of it. 2012 KDV EHHQ GLŕŽ‰HUHQW WKRXJK LQ my year out from LSE I have VWRSSHG ORRNLQJ IRU ன[HV RXWside of myself and begun to realise if I want to confront the problem. This has led me to reappraise the parts of me I used to think of as good and bad, more and more I do not see them as separate and recognise that they are neither good nor bad. And when Kristi Noem won re-election a few weeks ago I felt a pang of happiness that someone I felt embodied a part of me, that some part of me itself, had been successful. Senator Tim Johnson, a Democrat and South Dakota’s Senior Senator might retire. If he does Sandlin would likely run being the most prominent Democrat in South Dakota since the recent death

of George McGovern and excluding the discredited Tom Daschle. On the Republican side former Governor Mike Rounds – mediocre in terms of talent but talented in terms of popularity – just announced his candidacy, making it less likely Noem will run given the prospect of a tough primary. It seems almost unfair if I and the electorate were robbed of a Noem vs. Sandlin rematch, and rude of Rounds for getting in the way of that. Still I guess at the end of the day it’s not about me, elections are about a soul-searching and a restructuring, in 2010 I knew no better than to ignore my fears, to run away and hope that everything would be ok. Now at the end of 2012 I have developed a more loving relationship with myself to the extent that I don’t need a victorious Stephanie Herseth Sandlin to be secure. I’ll be keeping one eye on 2014 and the Badlands of South Dakota.

Features

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

Fionn Shiner and Ed Bayes

The M5 stretched gloriously out in front of Bernard. Not only was he appreciative of the grey artistry, but today the M5 was more than just a modern architectural masterpiece; it was an opportunity. Today was Bernard’s moving in day at the prestigious London School of Economics and Political Science. Today, BerQDUG ZDV GLYLQJ KHDGன UVW LQWR an intellectual world of discussion and high powered debate. , DP JRLQJ WR VLPSO\ ŕŽ‹ RXULVK Bernard thought to himself. +H FDXJKW KLV UHŕŽ‹ HFWLRQ LQ the wing-view mirror. Looking back at him was an enigmatic, brooding political philosopher to be. His hair was sufficiently messed up, but in a good way. It said, ‘look at me, I don’t care how my hair looks because my hair is sat atop a brain so PDJQLன FHQWO\ DQDO\WLFDO WKDW even my hair can’t contain itself’. School had been difficult to Bernard. An awkward looking child with long gawky legs and sinewy arms, he had the gait of one who knew that their member was just a bit too small. He was awful at sport, and the only thing he did excel at he was mocked for; academia. Just the word sent a warm tingle through his body. This feeling must surely be better than sex, Bernard thought to himself with the assuredness of one who has seen but one pair of breasts. That was when Mrs Crocker’s blouse fell down in History class to reveal images that burrowed deep into Bernard’s innocent soul. That incident had troubled Bernard greatly. Yes, school had been hard for Bernard, but university would EH GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW ‍'ڔ‏R \RX QHHG D hand with that dusty old suitcase?â€? asked a spritely young American in a pinstripe suit as Bernard clambered out of his battered old Megane with D ZKHH]H 7KH ‍ڔ‏WKDW‍ ڕ‏VRXQGHG like an elongated vowel to Bernard, he simply despised the Southern drawl that these Southerners have picked up from the gutters of AmeriFDQ SRSXOLVW OLWHUDWXUH ‍ڔ‏:K\ are you wearing that dusty old suit?â€? was Bernard’s response. His quick rapport was followed by a warm feeling that spread into a smug grin. This feeling, he thought, was akin only to the delectable feeling of urinating underwater. It was evening time and %HUQDUG KDG RQO\ PHW KLV ŕŽ‹ DW PDWHV 7KH ன UVW SHUVRQ ZDV the laconic American who had left a bitter taste in Bernard’s PRXWK :LOO WKH\ DOO ZHDU pin-striped suits he thought desolately? The next boy was decked out in jeans, white pumps and an awfully tightன WWLQJ +ROOLVWHU WRS 3HUFKHG upon his head was the most hair gel Bernard had ever seen. He insisted that Bernard

call him Tia Maria, after his faYRXULWH OLTXRU ;L :DQ ZDV WKH third; a Malaysian girl who went by the name of Jacques. Fourth there was Charlotte who transported Bernard into DQ LQன QLW\ SRRO RI URVHZDWHU Her small brown eyes looked deep into his soul past what he previously thought was an impermeably philosophical armoury, mainly because he’d never locked eyes with a girl before, not since Mrs Crocker. Although her brown hair was unwashed and tangled, her skin pasty, her cheeks sallow and her lips the antithesis of voluptuous, Bernard saw in her what he had never seen in any other girl. Potential. The anticipation that preceded the introductory pleasantries nearly killed Bernard. ThankIXOO\ KHU ன UVW ZRUGV ERGHG ZHOO IRU %HUQDUG‍ڑ‏V GUHDPV ‍ڔ‏$ bit of light chick litâ€? she jeered gesturing at Bernard’s copy of Thucydides’ Peloponnesian :DU %HUQDUG‍ڑ‏V OHJV JDYH ZD\ :KHQ WKH PLVWV RI VH[XDO frustration cleared, a face he didn’t recognise entered LQWR YLHZ ‍ڔ‏+HOOR P\ QDPH is George Bernard Shaw, I’m studying Politics and Philosophy, my favourite book is 0DFKLDYHOOL‍ڑ‏V 'LVFRXUFHV RQ Livy, it’s much better than The Prince don’t you think? I’m from Ireland, I got straight A’s at A level; no I didn’t go to private schoolâ€? gushed Bernard’s well-versed speech. The face responded with a cursory shrug of graceful VKRXOGHUV ‍ڔ‏,‍ڑ‏P .DUO 3RSSHU , did go to private school. I perVRQDOO\ WKLQN 'LVFRXUFHV RQ Livy was a bloated piece of literature. It is far surpassed by the sharpness of The Prince, and the ambivalence of the book that has so stimulated discussion, don’t you think?â€? %HUQDUG ZDV VSHHFKOHVV ‍ڔ‏$Q equalâ€?, he exhaled internally. ‍ڔ‏6RPHRQH ZKR FDQ PDWFK P\ intellectual prowess, someone I can journey withâ€?. Of course, this jubilance did not manifest itself in Bernard’s actions. He remained cool and composed. ‍ڔ‏,QWHUHVWLQJ‍ ڕ‏VDLG %HUQDUG as his door swung behind him with a resonating clang. It was 4am in the early morning, the latest Bernard had ever been awake. He had lost his dignity on the dance ŕŽ‹ RRU RI 7LJHU 7LJHU 7ZR VKRWV of vodka, followed by 2 cans of cider. Bernard was sure he had seen Tia Maria drinking at least 8 cans of beer over the course of the evening of debauchery. Bernard looked into the mirror of his room. A bleary eyed 18 year old stared EODQNO\ EDFN DW KLP ‍ڔ‏, KRSH I didn’t look this when Charlotte and I dissected the social VWUXFWXUH RI :HVWHUQ VRFLHW\‍ ڕ‏ Bernard worried to himself. This was not what he had been expecting. Continued in the next edition...

ANDREW C MACE

George Bernard Shaw hits Tiger Tiger

31

Breaking out of the banking bubble Dan Martin

This term saw Craig Calhoun launch a Strategic Review. Calhoun has sought a 300 word answer to the question ‍Ú?‏:KDW LV VR VSHFLDO DERXW /6( that people would miss it if it were gone?’ Perhaps the most obvious and relevant answer today would be that investment banks would miss their annual cohort of LSE applicants. The school continues to be dominated by the idea that graduates should enter the banking industry or, as a backup, management consulting. Indeed, last week this newspaper reported that 32.1 per cent of LSE graduates enWHUHG ன QDQFLDO VHUYLFHV DQG accountancy in 2011. 7KH 8. *UDGXDWH &DUHHUV Survey 2012 found that twoன IWKV RI ன QDO \HDU VWXGHQWV hoped to work in investment banking and just over a quarter wanted to work in either accountancy or management consulting. Students are constantly exposed to those same industries: Houghton Street seems to be a permanent home to PwC’s recruitment team and a Credit Suisse banner is proudly displayed on the front of the Three Tuns. But many students have no desire to pursue careers in banking; many banking applicants are only drawn in after arriving at the LSE; and a surprising number of students arrive without any knowledge of investment

banking but become experts LQ WKH ன HOG E\ JUDGXDWLRQ Although LSE is not alone, LW LV RQH RI WKH ZRUVW RŕŽ‰ HQG ers. Universities across the country – and across the world ‍ ڋ‏VXŕŽ‰ HU VLPLODU SUREOHPV WRS graduates apply to banking DQG FRQVXOWLQJ ன UPV EHFDXVH WKRVH ன UPV FRQVWDQWO\ UHDFK out to them, because the application is convenient and because high entry salaries are appealing. LSE has always risked getting too close to the banks, of course, simply because of its location in the centre of London. :K\ WKRXJK KDV DQ LQ stitution once so famed for its student activism and student leadership in producing social change, now become ‘the bankers’ school’? Should LSE graduates not aim for worthier causes than private equity? They certainly could: the university is held in high regard across the world, and SURGXFHV ZHOO TXDOLன HG JUDG uates. Many of those graduates, however, do not have WKH FRQன GHQFH WR SXUVXH D IXO ன OOLQJ VRFLDOO\ EHQHன FLDO FD reer. More importantly, few of them have enough knowledge of the possibilities out there available to them. That must change. /DVW \HDU 0DULQD .HHJDQ ZURWH DQ DUWLFOH IRU <DOH 'DL ly News bemoaning the fact that so many Yale graduates go into banking and consultLQJ ‍ ڋ‏WKH ன JXUHV IRU /6( DUH DFWXDOO\ KLJKHU .HHJDQ ODWHU tragically died in a car accident and her peers set up

a fund at Yale in to endow a VWDŕŽ‰ SRVLWLRQ WR JLYH VWXGHQWV WKH FRQன GHQFH WR SXUVXH D WUXO\ IXOன OOLQJ FDUHHU LQVWHDG of one that is simply convenient. This year, a similar project began at the LSE with the same aims. The Artichoke Society aims to give students an insight into broader career options, to encourage students to pursue IXOன OOLQJ VRFLDOO\ EHQHன FLDO careers. This could be part of a wider change at the LSE to break through the banking culture that exists. It is difficult to separate the causes and consequences of that culture. One contributing factor has to be the number of societies dedicated to WKH EDQNLQJ ன QDQFH DQG FRQ sulting industries – click on the ‘Careers’ tab on the Students’ Union’s list of societies and the plethora of banking societies is surprising and depressing. New students face rows of similar societies at Freshers’ Fair. 7KH .30* ORJR DSSHDUV to sit on most societies’ banners and opportunities to gain insights into career opportunities outside of banking are limited at best. The Artichoke Society aims to provide the necessary balance. Because without that balance, the school will continue to be known as the school for bankers when it should be known as the school for social changers.

32

Features

11.12.2012 | The Beaver

The case for the Church Jack Tindale

“Church and state are like light in a prism: Far more beautiful after the schism. Some take issue with this, And support antidis-establishmentarianism.”

The recent controversy over the General Synod’s refusal, by the smallest of margins, to reject the appointment of women as Bishops has suddenly transformed the chattering classes into irate Constitutional Law experts. For the first time since the AV Referendum, Labour members have been content to share platforms with Liberal Democrats. Almost ten-thousand people have now signed a petition under the snappy title “No women Bishops, no automatic seats in the House of Lords.” Even Frank Field, the maverick Labour MP for Birkenhead and devout Anglican has tabled a Parliamentary Motion that would revoked the Church’s decades-long exception from Equalities Legislation. In so doing, the awkward position that Lambeth Palace has endured since the sixties of being a state institution not being bound by state law has

finally reached the public consciousness. This is hardly surprising, the debate regarding the full ordination of Women within the Church has finally moved from the internal to the external, a rare thing indeed for a body that has always enjoyed a rather secluded position amongst the eyes of the broadly agnostic British public. Before November’s vote, the Church’s success, rather like the monarchy or the House of Lords, has been to ensure its survival by not rising to the top of anyone’s list of priorities. The General Synod and Justin Welby, the new Archbishop of Canterbury-designate have been forced to deal with rare public calls for accountability, something almost unprecedented since the rather unfortunate coup against James II back in 1688 ended the post-Civil War consensus on religious toleration in favour of an Anti-Catholic Ascendancy. For too long, the Church of England has been able to delay matters relating to equality in the eyes of God, with many still using scripture to deny the rights of the LGBT Community and Women to share in the love of Christ. It is quite right for an increas-

ingly liberally minded public to feel as though the Church is falling on the wrong side of history. Yet it would be a dreadful shame if Constitutional Vandals were to throw the baby out with the bathwater and allow their entirely correct demands for gender equality to be rolled into the inseparable calls for the divorce of the Church of England and the United Kingdom. Far from being equitable to an amicable separation, ending the link between Church and State instantly demands a review of the three cornerstones of the British Constitution. 1707’s Act of Union with Scotland was Ecclesiastical just as much as it was Political, with an entirely separate area of legislation being passed to ensure that the rights of the Presbyterians were guaranteed north of the border. 1689’s Bill of Rights, the foundation of Parliamentary Sovereignty over the Crown set out the need for the monarch to be Anglican, whilst the Act of Settlement forfeiting the rights of Catholics to inherit has only just begun to be questioned in light of the Duchess of Cambridge’s recent pregnancy. Whilst it is entirely possible for the position of

the Church of England to be revoked by a simple Act of Parliament, the implications for constitutional wrangling are quite clear. What price the House of Lords, or the Monarchy, or the Commonwealth? Many nations in the Old World have been able to revoke the link between Church and State, but that has usually been a sideline in requiring a new Constitution to be drafted following a major war. The nearest parallel for an peacetime shift to secularism is perhaps the 1905 French law on the Separation of the Churches and the State. The Act represented a victory for the Anti-Clericalists, who quite rightly commented on the direct role that the Catholic Church had played in appealing to the Anti-Semites who had formed a major groundswell of opposition to the rehabilitation of Dreyfus, but the interventionist principles of Laïcité are more likely to arise in the United Kingdom than the laissezfaire liberalism seen in the United States. The French state is prohibited from funding any new religious buildings whatsoever, which hardly augers well for immigrants who desire to follow their traditional faith

when they settle in an area that lacks a suitable place of worship. It is fortunate that Britain is a nation where the established Church works in favour of social and religious cohesion, rather than against it. In recent years, Lambeth Palace has played a major and underrated role in bridging the gap between faiths. When the Bishops in the House of Lords rise to make speeches, it is rare that they comment on social issues such as abortion. Far more often is for them to caution against placing restrictions on the rights of Muslim activists, or to demand clarity on the ethical principles of the Financial Services Industry. Soon-to-be-Archbishop Welby played a major role in drafting the report on the future of the banking in the City of London to bring in greater transparency. Whilst it would be foolish to say that these wise words would be ignored in the event of the Bishops being barred from the House, it is worth pointing out that another online petition calling for a cap on interest rates has gathered over a hundredthousand signatures. Usury, of course, has been opposed by the Church since the Parable of the Talents.

The race of nations towards carbon neutrality Robert Deegan

A formidable race of four nations was announced back in 2009 to become “carbon neutral”; Iceland, Norway, Costa Rica and New Zealand have all planned to achieve this badge, with the earliest target set by Costa Rica of having zero net carbon dioxide emissions by 2021 – the country’s 200th Anniversary. Interestingly, the Vatican already holds this title, hailed as “the ultimate ecological accolade” by the Independent, achieved by planting trees to restore an ancient Hungarian forest. We catch up with Costa Rica after the first phase of their plan has just been put forward. Administrative changes have caused major setbacks in the planning, with ex-President Oscar Arias handing over office to Laura Chinchilla just after making the declaration to become carbon neutral. Chinchilla and her administration have since been admonished by Arias for being far too lax on implementing policies to reduce the countries carbon footprint. This three year wait for any positive action has begged the question of whether this dream is in fact just that – a dream. Costa Rica currently emits around 13.2 tonnes of

CO2, most likely climbing to 19.7 tonnes by the target year of 2021, and if it wishes to reach the target, the country will have to reduce or offset emissions equivalent to 5.3 tonnes over the next decade. The plan to do this comes in two steps – forestry and energy efficiency. According to World Bank data, Costa Rica is currently one of the least carbon intense countries, with falling emission per unit produced over the past few years despite economic and population growth. By increasing energy efficiency, it aims to keep up this trend in order to reduce total emissions. It seems that the country’s best shot at this is by focussing on public transport, spearheading natural gas or LPG fuels rather than petrol for taxis and buses. By planting 7 million trees on coffee and cattle farms, the country (which is already 52 per cent forested) aims to offset much of the CO2 which can’t be tackled by increases in efficiency. However, as the most carbon-capturing stage for forests is when they are new, so this could be an issue in the long-run as the new forests begin to age. The future seems to look bright, for Costa Rica. But it’s important to look at the bigger picture. Although this is

indeed a noble cause, and it shows a real push towards doing something to combat climate change, but it begs a few questions. Is neutrality not surely arbitrary? More and more firms in the UK aim to accredit this badge of neutrality to their name, and don’t get me wrong, it is of course better than positivity… But why stop at neutrality? Is the marginal cost of reducing the firms carbon footprint to negativity truly too high, if the firm truly cares about its carbon footprint? Surely we should be striving for optimality in carbon emissions (which would hopefully be negative) in terms of net social benefit for the world, rather than focussing on this golden figure of neutral. What if Costa Rica does manage to achieve its goals by 2021 and Norway by 2030? This will be an incredible feat, but there will still be many countries emitting huge quantities of CO2, so one should not sit back, wave the badge of neutrality and say that one is no longer responsible when you could reduce the footprint further. It is still a global problem. Each individual/firm/country should be doing all it can to fight it, whether or not other countries are playing ball.

Features

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

33

Talitha Chin

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FDUQDWLRQ RI WKH GLYLQH LQ WKH PHVVLQHVV RI FKLOGELUWK WKH ULVNV RI PRUWDOLW\ DQG WKH FRQ VWUDLQWV RI OLYLQJ LQ VSDFH DQG WLPH ,Q FRQWUDVW WR WKH WHPSWD WLRQV RI UHOLJLRXV JQRVWLFLVP IRUPHU $UFKELVKRS RI &DQWHU EXU\ :LOOLDP 7HPSOH DUJXHG WKDW тАл&┌ФтАмKULVWLDQLW\ LV WKH PRVW PDWHULDOLVWLF RI DOO UHOLJLRQVтАл ┌ХтАм &KULVWPDV WHOOV XV WKDW WKH WHPSWDWLRQ WR роЛHH IURP UHDO LW\ LQWR WKH YLUWXDO VSLULWXDO RU WHFKQRORJLFDO LV LOOXVRU\ 7KHUH LV QR HVFDSLQJ WKH PD WHULDO ZRUOG LQ VHDUFK RI FRQ VRODWLRQ PRUDO SXUSRVH DQG PHDQLQJ %XW UDWKHU ZRQGHU IXOO\ &KULVWPDV RроЙHUV XV WKH SURPLVH WKDW LI ZH роКQG ZD\V WR VHH DQG FXOWLYDWH LW ZH WRR FDQ GLVFRYHU WUXWK DQG EHDXW\ LQFDUQDWHG ZLWKLQ RXU PDWH ULDO OLYHV RXU ERGLHV DQG RXU UHODWLRQVKLSV 7KH PHVVDJH RI &KULVWPDV LV WKDW *RG LV QRW тАл┌ФтАмRXW WKHUHтАл* ┌ХтАмRG LV тАл┌ФтАмZLWK XVтАл ┌ХтАм 6R GRQтАл┌СтАмW WDNH роЛLJKW LQWR YLUWXDO ZRUOGV WKLV &KULVWPDV .QRZ WKDW *RG LV SUHVHQW ZLWK LQ WKLV ZRUOG WR KHOS XV WUDQV IRUP LWV PDWHULDO LQMXVWLFHV DQG *RG LV SUHVHQW ZLWKLQ XV WR KHDO DQG UHGHHP XV

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99 problems but a list ain’t one Kirsty Kenney gets her life in order, she is the list-maker. brainpower freed up, you’re more likely to actually take the recycling out, reply to that email from a week ago and generally stay on the straight and narrow. Now, while this is all starting to sound a bit much- I wouldn’t really be lost without

going somewhere. We’re simple us humans, we just need a pat on the back every now and then. And I know that I am not alone in my appreciation for this simple satisfaction. There are many a notable list makHUV 7KRPDV -HŕŽ‰HUVRQ %HQMD-

make things happen. Each day I work through these lists, and that sequence of calls propels me forward.� Take note, budding entrepreneurs of the LSE. There are however two key problems faced by the serial listmaker. Firstly, lists are notoriously difficult to com-

min Franklin, Madonna, and -RQQ\ &DVK WR QDPH D IHZ $V for Richard Branson, champion listmaker - “I have always lived my life by making lists— lists of people to call, lists of ideas‌ lists of people who can

plete. If you get over half way through then that’s good going. Big pat on the back for you! Secondly, for every task completed, you will think of another two to add to the list. I guarantee it. It’s a vicious cy-

THEFREELENS

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remember as a child spending hours meticulously working on my Christmas lists. I would VWDUW ZLWK WKH ELJ WKLQJV னUVW these would normally be in messy bubble writing crayoned in alternating colours. Next would come my smaller requests, in felt tip pens, and at the bottom, the things that I knew I would be getting anyway, oranges and pajamas. Christmas is the lists’ favourite time of year. Everyone ORYHV D OLVW DW &KULVWPDV FKLOdren with their Christmas lists for Santa, parents with their children’s lists as Santa, that’s not forgetting those for the food and those for the decorations‌lists galore! But of course lists are not restricted to the twelfth month of the year. For many, list making is a habit, part of a routine that helps keep things in check. This is not something that should be associated with the obsessive robotic android types, list makers come in all sorts of packages, but generally speaking it is more of a female trait. I am an avid ‘listmaker’. Most evening’s, just before I go to bed, I will jot down a list of things for the following day in my little black diary. Sometimes in pencil, but usually in pen, these are colour coded and I put little stars next to the really important things. Anything that needs to be done is allowed on the list. From essentials, like “pay rentâ€?, to the less than essential, “new bootsâ€?, to the easily done, “take recycling outâ€?, and the easily done but often avoided, “take recycling out.â€? Crucial GHFLVLRQV RFFDVLRQDOO\ னQG D place on my lists, but I can’t think of a suitable example. It would be fair to categorise me under any of the folORZLQJ VFDWW\ GLVRUJDQLVHG frantic, or messy. Lists, for the mentally cluttered such as myself, can be key to getting organised and being productive. A good list helps you to put things into spaces. Human brains, smart as they are, FDQQRW MXJJOH DOO WKH GLŕŽ‰HUHQW things that you’ve got to think about at once, and so lists act as a memory jogger too. With

my lists- there’s a lot of satisfaction that comes from scribbling over that star. Every time \RX FURVV VRPHWKLQJ RŕŽ‰ \RXU OLVW LW‍ڑ‏V OLNH KLJK னYH <$< IRU me! I have done something that I wanted to do today. I am

cle. The list, if you’re not careful, becomes a monster. Bigger and bigger, it’s simply a case of not enough hours in the day, and uncompleted tasks begin WR UHDSSHDU <RX னQG \RXUVHOI writing the same list as yesterday. With these challenges in mind, I’d like to share my personal list making tips, in list form- naturally. 1.Lists should be on paper, and not virtual. Handwritten, complete with stars and cross outs, all in colour. This, I promise, is more fun and far more rewarding. 2. Try very hard not to rewrite the same list again and again. If “Tidy Roomâ€? is on your list every day for 2 weeks then you need to ask yourself, “ Do I really need to tidy your room?â€? If you really did need to, then you would have done it already. But, if the answer is in IDFW ‍<ڔ‏HV , GR QHHG WR WLG\ P\ roomâ€?, then you need to get RQ ZLWK LW <RX SUREDEO\ FRXOG have hung your clothes up in the time it took you to write “Tidy Roomâ€? out all pretty in swirly lettering fourteen times. 3. Be selective, be tactical. There are only so many hours in a day, interruptions take over and if you’re too unUHDOLVWLF WKHQ \RX‍ڑ‏OO QHYHU னQish. 4. Leave space for things that you haven’t thought about yet. It will happen. 5. Never write things in order of importance thinking that will make you do them in order. It won’t. 6. Don’t be afraid to get nerdy with lists. Writing lists about what you want to achieve in life is hilarious to look back on, keeping a note of all the exhibitions you ZDQW WR VHH ZLOO PDNH \RX னQG the time and noting down places to eat and places to shop is more useful than you think. 7. Don’t get too carried away. Life is about more than lists! This is the end of the list, for now at least.

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Write your own fairytale ending Nona Buckley-Irvine on falling in and out of love with love.

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t was Shakespeare who said “love is blindâ€?. Something, I, myself, know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be IRXQG HYHQ LI MXVW IRU WKH night. And then, there’s another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called “unrequited love.â€? ,ULV 6LPSNLQV WKH னFWLRQDO FKDUDFWHU SOD\HG E\ .DWH Winslet in the Holiday surmises the problems of the socalled romantic fairytale in this eloquent paragraph. ‘Most of us live in the hope WKDW ZH ZLOO IDOO LQ ORYH னQG someone that we can spend the rest of our life with, and live happily ever after. Most of us will have already fallen in love in some way or another: whether it be your னUVW FKLOGKRRG ORYH DGPLULQJ someone from afar, or falling for your best friend.’ Yet most of us now are not living happily ever after. At the tender ages of our late teens and early twenties, we have broken hearts, had ours broken in return, had to get over someone, experienced MHDORXV\ PDGH HPEDUUDVVLQJ drunken phone calls, cried, and generally been absolutely miserable. All in the name of love. So if what we’ve experienced of love so far has not been the perfect fairytale, then why do we recover from heartbreak

in the hope that one day, we will be able to realise our idealisations of love? Part of the reason obviously come down to our society’s cultural expectations: every day we see instances of ‘true love’ or the ‘perfect fairytale’, mainly in the media. It is a great ideal to hope for of course. Nobody wants to be alone, and I certainly don’t want to be a wrinkly seventy year old with a posse of cats. But this notion of the perfect ending is something that

come to hate one another. I am one of those pessimists. Compromise is essential to managing naturally ocFXULQJ FRQŕŽ‹LFWV 6RPHWLPHV one person is willing to give more than the other, and this may seem fair enough if they are so willing. But over time, resent sets in, chewing at the core of the relationship, eventually undermining its roots so that it can no longer endure. 7KDW‍ڑ‏V PRVW GHனQLWHO\ RQH of the reasons why marriage is so difficult. Another, which is most straightforward, is

perfect, there are some peoSOH ZKR MXVW JR WKURXJK OLIH ZLWKRXW னQGLQJ DQ\RQH OLNH that. What is more, we break up when we’re young. And MXGJLQJ E\ GLYRUFH VWDWLVWLFV we break up when we’re older too. Clearly the odds are stacked against us, whatever we do, and however long we wait. So is there any point in pursuing the traditional URPDQWLF QRWLRQ RI னQGLQJ someone forever? I propose that there is no point. Give up now, it is pointless. The beauty is not LQ னQGLQJ WKH RQH EXW LW‍ڑ‏V LQ 7KH EHDXW\ LV QRW LQ ŕ­˝QGLQJ WKH RQH EXW LW‍ڑ‏V னQGLQJ WKH னUVW WKH VHFRQG the third, and however many LQ ŕ­˝QGLQJ WKH ŕ­˝UVW WKH VHFRQG WKH WKLUG DQG you come across. There’s no however many you come across. QHHG WR FRQனQH RXUVHOYHV WR D னUVW ORYH RU D னQLWH QXPber of people. Love could we carry with us, in spite simply that one can fall out come around for a night, or it of what we have already of love, the adoration is gone. could be there forever – but learned. From conversations This is what we don’t it’s time to let our own perwith friends, the optimism think about enough when VRQDO FRQYLFWLRQV GHனQH KRZ that prevails within some is considering the fairytale we perceive love and what more noticeable among those ending. The fairytale ending we think to be the story that with parents still married. is ‘happily ever after’. Can will make us happy. To them, the fact that ZH UHDOO\ னQG VRPHRQH ZKR Rather than anticipattheir parents are still mar- we can have this ‘ever after’ ing beautiful blue skies, we ried represents the fact that with? Are we really able to should anticipate the horror a relationship can endure, னQG VRPHRQH WKDW ZH FDQ that awaits us. In the state of that people can fall in love wake up next to every day, nature, Thomas Hobbes reand importantly stay in love, morning breath and all, and gards the life as being “nasty, and that such a love is not still love? Worse, are we able brutish and shortâ€?. Well, this out of our reach. WR னQG VRPHRQH WKDW ZLOO WDNH description can certainly exAt the risk of generalising, us with all our faults, and still tend to love and our relationWKDW YLHZ LV QRW VR னUPO\ KHOG love us for who we are three ships. Like I’ve explained, by people with divorced par- years down the line? most of us have shed a tear ents, a result of being able It’s a tall order. While we over someone we love, felt WR ZLWQHVV னUVWKDQG KRZ UH- FDQ GUHDP RI னQGLQJ VRPH- SDQJV RI MHDORXV\ RU SOD\HG lationships deteriorate and one who we think is perfect the dreaded break up playhow two people in love can and equally believes us to be list.

It may not last forever. But nothing lasts forever, and if you can say to yourself that at some point in your life you were the happiest you could have been, then maybe it’s worth all the hurt. We could regard this as D SUREOHP RI QRW னQGLQJ WKH RQH ‍ ڋ‏RU MXVW SDUW RI WKH ‍Ú?‏ORYH experience’. The decision to make is whether you embrace the heartbreak that accompanies falling for someone, or whether you run. I’d recommend running. The damage that another person can do through lying, manipulation, and deceit is irreparable. Sometimes it MXVW WDNHV WRR ORQJ WR UHFRYHU from that, and we will spend a long, long time trying to get over it all. But for those of you who do not want to end up alone at seventy with an equal number of cats, summoning up the courage to let somebody get close to you and to let yourself get close to somebody else is much more fun. The fairytale ending here exists in you. While it usually features the hero coming and rescuing the damsel in distress, we should be putting our own spin on what we consider a romantic fairytale. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Bounce back. Here, the “happily ever afterâ€? that we should aspire to is the one where we play the part of hero, rescue ourselves and carry on.

The international food festival Didem Tali takes us our taste buds on a worldwide tour.

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magine how many people you pass everyday on campus, in the corridors, the cafeteria, the tuns or the library. Then try to consider the many diverse backgrounds from which they all come. We rarely get a chance to indulge ourselves in eachothers cultures. The International Food Festival hosted last Thursday on Houghton Street was such an opportunity to open up our taste buds. The Malaysian food stall was very proud to have prepared all the food that they served themselves. My personal favourite was the “onde-ondeâ€? or cocoQXW SRSSHUV னOOHG ZLWK MXLF\ Malacca sugar. Onde-onde is meant to be a dessert, but it teases you an initial

salty burst. Bite into the coconut crust, as the salty wave passes and you chew, it gets consistently sweeter and creamier. If you have a

to grasp its real taste. The German stall was a familiar haven with fresh pretzels and German sweets. I found myself thinking that

sweet-tooth like me, it might னUVW WDNH \RX E\ VXUSULVH but you’ll like it more and more as you savour and try

a traditional German barbeque and beer would go well with this combination. Unfortunately such a vision

was not possible on a week day, in central London. As I tried my pretzel and appreciated the oblahen-lebkucher, I found the pretzel slightly too salty, I asked if it would be okay to remove some of the salts by hand. The German stallholder informed me that “that is actually how it is eaten traditionally.� The next stop was the Iranian stall, where the visitors were served the traditional Persian pastries. “Nokhodchi� is a melt in the mouth cookie made of chick peas. You wouldn’t think one could make a dessert from chick peas, right? It is a lot like South Indian sweets, but a bit milder. “Zaban� is made with layers of very thin dough and has pistachio on top. It is similar to Greek/ Turkish baklava, however

drier and less sweet. For those who are not fond of sweet, the rest of pastries, 3HVWL %HUHQML DQG .HVKPHVL were better alternatives. 7KH னQDO VWDOO ZDV WKH $Irican/Caribbean one, where they served ginger beer, lamb and chicken pattie, DFFRPSDQLHG ZLWK MHZHOleries and similar items on sale. And next to that, peer support group served the universal student foods: Apples, oranges and cookies! London is blessed when it comes to food variety. However, the chance to tryLQJ WKH IRRG RI VXFK GLŕŽ‰HUent parts of the world in one street, prepared by fellow students made me feel privileged. It also made me wonder, how much more we don’t know about each other!

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

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/RRNLQJ IRU OLIH LQ ૹQDQFH

-Hŕ­źUH\ 0R DVNV KLPVHOI ZKDW SURVSHULW\ ŕ­˝QDQFH FDQ EULQJ don’t know where this money is going to or what it will be used for, parties who just nominally say that they’re allowing business to thrive? I’m not trying to argue WKDW னQDQFH LVQ‍ڑ‏W XVHIXO ‍ ڋ‏ in fact, I think it’s probably necessary. In today’s innovation-driven world, new companies need money to get started and spread their

Intelligent people don’t necessarily make for interesting or enjoyable people, though; your scope for individuality, something you had so much of as a student, is taken away from you. One presenter I met told students that highlevel achievement, be it in athletics or poker or what have you, was essentially

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QH RI WKH னUVW things you learn in an introductory class on macroeconomics – and this is the London School of Economics, after all – is the classical dichotomy between real and nominal variables. Nominal variables are based around money and price levels, which change ZLWK LQŕŽ‹DWLRQ DQG VR FDQnot be directly compared across time periods and perhaps even across countries or regions. Real variables are goods – they are what we consume. More importantly, they are what we actually care about. A million dollars is only valuable in relation to what the price level is and what we can buy with it. This week I had an epiphany. As an economLFV VWXGHQW னQDQFH LV D QDWXUDO னW IRU PH HYHQ more so because I come IURP D YHU\ VFLHQWLனF DQG technical background. Yet, there’s always been something nagging me about the னQDQFLDO VHFWRU ‍ ڋ‏ZKDW JRRG am I doing the world? It’s all about money transferring hands, and money isn’t necessarily real. Is a career in investment banking a real career? Am I making D UHDO GLŕŽ‰HUHQFH" 2U DP , just transferring money between parties, parties that

game-changing ideas. But at the level of those who ZRUN LQ னQDQFH PRQH\ LV just an abstract concept – it facilitates, and that’s all it’s good for. All these doubts spring to mind whenever I go to a career fair or a career event. The presenters from major banks and trading companies try to make their workplaces sound great, full of intelligent people, challenging problems, and promotion opportunities.

a fast-track to getting an interview. No one questioned him on whether you would still have time to participate in these activities once you got the job – and I doubt people train to become elite marathon runners just so they could give it up for a career in investment banking. Are you still a real person, or do you become a trading zombie? More disconcerting, though, is the fact that so many people going to these

career fairs are so singleminded about it. The rooms are full of students dressed up in power suits trying to suck up, but the majority of them can barely exSODLQ ZKDW னQDQFH LV 7KDW doesn’t make for a ‘real’ career, only a very vague one. Few of them seem to be concerned about the real impact they leave behind, either. A presenter I talked to came up with an answer of ‘helping to develop pension systems in developing countries in southeast Asia’ – which would have been admirable if he hadn’t taken ten seconds to come up with it, and which would have been more believable if he hadn’t needed to convince the other students that the question was actually worth answering. We go to the LSE, a school that is not only world-leading in economLFV DQG னQDQFH EXW LQ DOO of the social sciences, from anthropology or social policy to philosophy. Those of us studying economics DQG னQDQFH , WKLQN WHQG to look down on some of WKHVH RWKHU னHOGV ‍ ڋ‏, WKLQN we often think that ours is a more quantitative, technical, and thereby difficult programme – but these RWKHU னHOGV DUH ZKDW DFWXally matter. They help you understand your life and

orient yourself in the structures that surround it. Science and engineering raise the quality and convenience of your life, while the arts and humanities enrich it. All of these things are real and are what make life possible, valuable, and ZRUWK OLYLQJ :RUNLQJ LQ னnance only makes me a cog – a well-paid cog – in the wheel that powers this machine. You need these cogs only because you need what they can produce. I’d rather be producing something. I like maths, I like economics, and I know that I enjoy learning about asset PDUNHWV DQG னQDQFLDO GHrivatives. But once I leave the LSE and enter ‘the real world,’ I want to use my limited time to do something that really makes a GLŕŽ‰HUHQFH 0D\EH WKDW ZLOO EH LQ னQDQFH ‍ ڋ‏WKHUH are so many problems with WKH னQDQFLDO LQGXVWU\ ULJKW now, and maybe I can help make it better, help make it more real, help it actually connect to the people and ideas that need the money. Not all companies and presentations were as nauseating as the one I described above – some of them do seem to care. And all I really need from a career is that agency to care and to have a real impact, no matter what I do.

Six steps for cyclist survival

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earn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you liveâ€? are yet more quotable words from Mark Twain. I’d certainly agree with him, up to a point. While a driver took it upon themselves to gently drift into me, sending me over the handlebars and straight to the Hospital I’d still recommend cycling in London. There’s nothing quite like WKH IUHHGRP D ELNH FDQ RŕŽ‰HU you in a city like London, moments like a late night ride over Tower Bridge are great memories that if I hadn’t cycled in London I would never have enjoyed. Especially for a place like the LSE where it can get a bit dull, cycling can both relieve the monotony of lectures and classes and be a good way to get some relatively fresh air. Unfortunately, while I don’t want to scare anyone from riding a bike in London,

it is a sad fact that if you take to two wheels there is the potential for injury. In just a year of cycling I saw someone cycle into a stationary car, wrecking themselves in the process, someone get wiped out by a drunk friend trying to leap onto their back wheel and catch a ride, and a head on collision between two Boris bikes when both of them were too busy looking for street signs. A lot of the near misses and quite a few of the bumps I saw were actually quite avoidable, so for anyone who’s an experienced London pedalist there’s probably little value here, but I wish a few of these had been imparted to me well before I became a frequent cyclist. 1) Know your route as best as possible before you cycle. It’s hard enough trying to cycle somewhere when

you know the exact route. Trying to avoid pedestrians, other cyclists and cars is much harder when you’re also trying to work out just which road you need to turn onto next. At least have a JRRG ORRN DW D PDS னUVW WKH less time spent looking up at signs the more you can use it to watch out for cars and other hazards.

two seconds and wait to push RŕŽ‰ LW‍ڑ‏V QRW ZRUWK WKH ULVN

3) You’re a vehicle on the road, act like one if you need to. When cycling in London VRPHWLPHV , னQG LW HDVLHU WR equate myself to an, admittedly rather slow, motorcycle. Just because you’re peddling doesn’t mean you have to be sat six inches away from the 2) Never, ever, go down the kerb, eating potholes and inside of a large vehicle at drain covers for the journey. WUDૻF OLJKWV Taking a slightly more bold This is an instant recipe line in the road, especially for death. At traffic lights around roadworks or in slow you should slow down, sit moving traffic maneuvering nice and far back and just let in tight roads, such as Lonthem sort themselves out. It don, forces drivers to react to won’t cause you to expend your presence. I’m not telling PRUH HŕŽ‰RUW DQG \RX‍ڑ‏OO PDNH you to do it in an obnoxious it to where you want to get to way, but in certain situations alive. This is one of the big- it’s just safer for you to use gest problems with cyclist the middle lane, done propsafety that is present in Lon- erly everyone can advance up don, the infrastructure has to the road at a measured pace be improved, but it’s a two in a safe manner. way street. Take the extra

4) Wear a Helmet It might not look cool, but a helmet will help you if you do get planted on the street. I’d probably be dead if it wasn’t for mine. 5) Back streets are your friend. It is nice to get everywhere with ages to spare, if like me cycling tends to work up a bit of a sweat. But often I found it was safer and more enjoyable to take a side street, it’s quieter and you’re not inhaling fumes from all the engines around you. 6) Don’t get bothered by shouting Sometimes drivers shout at you for what they view as a horrible piece of wheelwork. Regardless of who’s in the right, I’d never respond. They’re behind the wheel of a one tonne weapon, worst comes to worst and you’re just a new hood ornament.

38

Sport

11.12.2012

| The Beaver

Lions - Pride of Britain 10 come summer. Sexton can kick intelligently and could provide the Lions with quick Following an action-packed ball delivered on the game set of autumn internationals, line and before the Six Nations Scrum Half: Mike Phillipsgets underway in the new Although Phillips had a quiet year, here is my long range autumn series he should still forecast for the Lions side to be very much in the minds of tour Australia next summer. the Lion’s selectors. As well Full Back: Leigh Halfas his obvious ball distribupenny - the stand out Welsh tion skills, Phillips’ standback in a dire autumn seing at 6ft 3 and 16 ½ stone ries. Strong under the high RŕŽ‰ HUV SK\VLFDOLW\ LQ GHIHQFH ball and possesses a kickand could test the Australian ing range which if selected fringe defence with darting could punish any Australian runs. infringement from 60m. Number Eight: Jamie Left Wing: Tim Visser Heaslip - A man who reScotland’s only hope for a turned from South Africa in representative in the Lion’s 2009 with his reputation enbackline. The hard southern hanced. A strong ball carrier hemisphere pitch will comand an intelligent footballer plement his phenomenal turn Heaslip could play a key role of speed giving the Lions’ a in controlling a dominant Listrong direct running winger. Tuilagi barrelling down the on’s scrum. He has also been Right Wing: Chris Ashton 10 channel in both defence touted for Captaincy but A tireless worker on the pitch and attack making life unmust secure Test selection to running support lines and comfortable as possible for ensure this. sniffing for interceptions. Quade Cooper. Blindside Flanker: Tom When coupled with the seInside Centre: Jonathon Wood - A player who revels lections at 12 and 13 Ashton Davies - Despite a hard auin the drudgery of rucks. RŕŽ‰ HUV WKH /LRQV D FOLQLFDO ன Q tumn series Davies’ distriOutstanding against the All isher. However will need a bution skills would give the Blacks and would have to be strong six nations to guaranLion’s the ball to feed both on top form to deny Pocock tee selection. Tuilagi’s physicality and the and Hooper turnovers and Outside Centre: Manu speed of the back three. Will Genia quick ball. Tuilagi - England’s wrecking Fly Half: Jonathon Sexton Openside Flanker: Sam ball who could make holes in - With England and Wales roWarbuton - May have recentthe Australian backline if givWDWLQJ ŕŽ‹ \ KDOYHV 6H[WRQ ZLOO ly been out of form but he is HQ TXLFN EDOO ŕŽ‹ DW RQ WKH JDLQ have the largest amount of too good a player not to come line. If selected expect to see experience and game time at

out of this temporary blip. If Warbuton can return to his 6 Nations form he can be the specialist openside Flanker that the Lions’ require. Second Row: Joe Launchbury - The man of the Autumn series. Launchbury is at ease in the set piece, is a powerful direct runner and possesses deft hands at the restart. A truly outstanding young lock ZKR FRXOG RŕŽ‰ HU WKH /LRQV DWK leticism while not detracting

WIKIMEDIA

WIKIMEDIA

Thomas Meaden

Group of death Gareth Rosser

This week, rugby fans across the globe have begun the long, tortuous game of “what if?â€?, fuelled by either optimism or pessimism. This is because the draw for the 2015 Rugby World Cup group stage has been made. From the point of view of the home nations,the results are interesting to say the least. Ireland will probably be pleased with their draw, on the whole. They avoided the big 3 of the Southern Hemisphere, and will be competing with mainly European opposition in Group D. France and Italy will be the teams they have to beat if they want to make the knockout stages, and there will be few Ireland fans who don’t believe that Ireland have the potential to ன QLVK JURXS OHDGHUV The news is bleaker for Scottish fans; they’ve been drawn in Group C with South Africa and Samoa. Scotland lost to South Africa in the Autumn internationals this year, and Scottish hopes of qualifying from the group stages

at the minute involve a lot of luck. Then there’s Group A. Australia. England. Wales. If that weren’t reason enough to name this the group of death, they’re probably going to have Fiji there too. Wales’ failure at international level since the last World Cup has inevitably led to them being drawn in 3rd seeding and distorted their group. The fact that they’ve been drawn with Australia, the team who’ve beaten them 4 times since the world cup and have therefore played a key role in Wales’ plummet down the rankings makes the group all the more interesting, as does the frantic negotiation over venues that began as soon as the draw was concluded: both Twickenham and the Millennium Stadium are venues for the World Cup. 7KH ன QDO JURXS *URXS % is the only one not to feature any of the home nations, and they will all be glad of the All Blacks’ presence there, rather than their own group. New Zealand have complained that they don’t get enough

of a challenge in the group stage, and this may well be the case again. A rapidly improving Argentina will be their hardest obstacle, and Argentina will have to improve even more if they’re to prevent another 15-54 loss. This could give other teams hope for another underprepared All Blacks side, but even that might be enough. There is of course a lot of time between now and 2015. There’s the immediate challenge of the Six Nations, where teams will be playing with the knowledge that in 2015 they’ll be facing each RWKHU ZLWK D ZKROH GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW prize at stake. England will want to prove that they can reach the performance level that allowed them to beat the All Blacks consistently. Scotland and Wales will both want to move on from this Autumn. France, Italy and Ireland will also be desperate to show the potential to at least top their group. The road to the World Cup starts here.

from the bludgeoning force of the scrum. Second Row: Courtney Lawes Although injured for much of the autumn series, in his brief cameo against New Zealand Lawes demonstrated he is still the hard tackling enforcer that any touring team requires. Will need a strong Six Nations to cement touring place and SURYH PDWFK ன WQHVV Loosehead: Gethin Jenkins - A formidable scrummager who if on form could cause the disintegration of the Wallaby pack. Jenkin’s is also known to rampage in the loose, a sight to scare any Australian back. Hooker: Rory Best- Ireland’s Mr Reliable. Will hit line out consistently and will scrummage well. Best would RŕŽ‰ HU WKH /LRQ‍ڑ‏V D VROLG VHW piece as well as commitment in the loose. Tighthead Prop: Dan Cole - Indisputably the best tighthead prop in the world today. Eclipsed Tony Woodcock against New Zealand and rarely has a bad day in the scrum. When teamed with Jenkins could provide a front row which sends the Wallaby front three backwards, upwards and towards defeat. Here’s hoping.

Golden generation and Sarah Storey took four Paralympic golds each, and In the famous words of Lone- Ellie Simmonds swam her ly Island, ‘We Like Sports’, way to two more. Europe launched the sort and as has been written by all and sundry, it has been of comeback that Sid Wadan incredible year for them, dell might have likened to particularly in Britain. There Lazarus to win the Ryder is no more comprehensive cup, and with his US PGA tidemonstration of this than tle, Rory McIlroy makes the the upcoming Sports Per- shortlist. Ian Poulter misses sonality Of The Year award, out however, as do a host of which is likely to be more other Olympians; as good an indication as any of the closely contested than ever. In the past 12 months, a VWUHQJWK RI WKH ன HOG 7KHVH British person has won the are events that in yesteryear Tour De France. A British would be generational, now man has won a grand slam we’re spoiled for success. Nor are their any repretennis tournament for the sentatives from England or ன UVW WLPH LQ WKUHH TXDUWHUV RI any of the other home naa century. Even had we not tions football, rugby or crickhad the Olympics and Paralympics, this would already et teams, although this might be due to the fact that none make for a close race. But we have, and who has had a particularly stellar could forget them? Bradley \HDU GHVSLWH VWURQJ ன QLVKHV Wiggins added a time trial from both rugby and crickgold medal to his Tour title, et. In another year, captains and Murray a gold and a sil- Cook and Robshaw might well be in the running; with ver to his US Open title. :H VDZ WKH ன UVW IHPDOH the Lions touring Australia boxing medal go to Nicola Ad- and a home Ashes series next ams, and Katherine Grainger summer, next year’s shortlist win gold at her 4th attempt. PLJKW ORRN YHU\ GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW Ben Ainslie became the most Here’s hoping we can repeat decorated Olympic sailor, the overall success of 2012 and Chris Hoy our most dec- for many years to come. orated Olympian. David Weir

Dennis Mooney

Sport

The Beaver | 11.12.2012

Six shooters

Brett Lewis

After a less than impressive pre-season, the 6th team have very much pulled it together and their scintillating run of form makes them the bestperforming team in the FC this Michaelmas Term. Their shaky 3-2 win over the 7s and a 6-0 mauling at the hands of the 5s saw critics such as Club Captain Big Smith cast doubts over Adam Mizrahi’s policy of picking experienced 3rd years rather than opting for freshers. Now Smithy has been forced to eat his words (as well as many other things by the looks RI LW DV ‍ڔ‏0L]UDKL‍ڑ‏V 0DWHV‍ Ú•â€ŹŕŽŠ Q ish the term with a record of P8 W6 D1 L1. We take look at the highs and lows of the regulars in the team.

GK: Ajay Govi Despite his stature not being quite what you’d expect from a goalkeeper, Ajay has been a GRPLQDQW ன JXUH LQ WKH SHQDOW\ DUHD DQG KLV VKDUS UHŕŽ‹ H[HV have kept us in many a game so far this season. High Point: Keeping Kings 6s at bay for 70 minutes in our ன UVW JDPH RI WKH VHDVRQ Low Point: Picking up a backpass against Royal Holloway 6s (although they made a complete hash of the free kick anyway) RB: Adam Mizrahi Captain. Leader. Legend. The architect of the dream team and his committed performances alongside his tactical nous have been the main reasons we’ve been so successful this season. Can always be heard telling the boys to “RAISE ITâ€? or “wanting it moreâ€?. High Point: Reliving his glory days as a winger with his cracking assist against RUMS 4s Low Point: Having to be VXEEHG RŕŽ‰ DJDLQVW +ROORZD\ V after chundering on the pitch at half time CB: Josh Phillips

The Nigerian Nightmare has had virtually every centre forward in the league in his backpocket so far this term and his barnstorming runs out of defence have become a trademark in our games thus far. High Point: Coining the phrase “GET OUT OF MY BOX� instead of politely asking the lads to push up Low Point: Admitting he eats McDonalds 4-5 times a week. Please seek immediate medical attention.

able left backs during my tenure in the 7s, I can truly say having Shray in the team is a blessing. Both defensively and going forward he’s a handful and his quality from set pieces has led to many of our goals. High Point: Well-worked indirect free kick goal against RUMS 4s Low Point: Throwing his toys out the pram when the team suggest going somewhere else apart from Lahore Kebab House for dinners.

CB: Sam Cicurel Perhaps seen as the ultimate sign of nepotism due to the fact he was Adam’s cousin, Cicurel has proved he merits his place in the side. He was let go by the 3rd team in the summer, and given that they concede

RW: Ben Morrison One of the few survivors from last year’s 6s team, Ben has been one of the standout players so far this term. His tenacity and pace make him a nightmare for left backs and he can always be counted upon to

approximately 729,289 goals per game, could Klose have made a grave error letting him go? High Point: Sumptuous through ball assist to Demola against Imperial Medics Low Point: The pass mentioned above being the only successful one he made in a match where his pass completion rate was rumoured to be -2%. 7KH HQG RI KLV FHQWUH PLGன HOG dream.

track back and help out Miz. High Point: Scoring from a virtually impossible angle against RUMS 4s whilst being taken out by the defender Low Point: Going to a cowboy doctor about his shoulder, which seems to pop out with alarming regularity.

CB: Nick Osborn A late arrival into our team, Osborn has galvanised the team and given us an additional option at both centre back and right back. Keen freshers are always a welcome addition DQG 2VERUQ ZLOO GHன QLWHO\ JR on to become a big name in the FC in his time at LSE. High Point: Winning every header he competed for in his debut with his trademark commanding “OSBORNNNNNNNNNâ€? shout /RZ 3RLQW +LV ன UVW DFWLRQ IRU the 6s being a red-card worthy tackle after he ran the length of the pitch to scythe someone down. LB: Shray Patel Having played in front of less

RW: Giorgos Barzoukas *HRUJH KDV ன OOHG LQ DGPLUDEO\ at both CB and on the wing and has looked equally solid in both positions. Watching him try and hold down a conversation with the Manchester contingent is a comical clash of accents. High Point: Argumentum Greco. No more needs to be said. Low Point: Foul mouthed tirade on the touchline which showed our English hooligan ways were very much contagious CM: Maxim Owen Having decided that wrestling with 20 stone men in a muddy ன HOG ZDV QRW KRZ KH ZDQWHG to spend his Wednesdays, Max made the sensible decision and defected back to football from rugby. His decision has EHHQ MXVWLன HG ZLWK D VHULHV RI top performances in the mid-

dle of the park. High Point: Inventing “Bros Icin’ Bros�, the official drinking game of the 6s Low Point: Growing a Movember moustache that made him look like a Canadian trucker/ axe murderer

CM: Jamie Hurley Another one of last year’s 6s, Jamie’s range of passing and SRLVH LQ PLGன HOG KDV EHHQ D big factor in the team’s domination so far this season. He’s also not afraid to let you know when you’re having a bad game, which is evident from the number of dressing downs I’ve received so far this season. High Point: Keeping the whole team in suspense over the story of his mysterious tattoo

Low Point: Doing a passable impersonation of Cicurel in WKH ன UVW KDOI RI WKH 560 JDPH with precisely 0 of his passes reaching their intended target. CM: Hugh Thomas Hard working Mancunian midன HOGHU ZKR ORYHV 0DQ 8QLWHG Oasis, pies and the Industrial Revolution. High Point: Thinking up many of the team’s jingles and choreographing the bicycle celebration Low Point: Despite getting FORVHU DQG FORVHU VWLOO QRW ன QG ing the net with his one longrange shot per match. LW: Jay Stoll See Thomas, Hugh for descripWLRQ $OVR EL]DUUHO\ ன [DWHG with acronym-based organisations such as the SU, UGM, UJS, JSoc and NUS High Point: Calling his dad after his success in trials to tell him “I did what you said dad, put in a shift and put me foot inâ€? Low Point: As referee, he gave away the penalty that led to our only loss of the season so far, and then banned the Sun newspaper 24 hours later. LW: Brett Errol Lewis

39

Many wondered how BEL would cope moving up a division having played for the 7s last year, but the wideman is absolutely loving life in the higher leagues. Despite being totally unable to cross a football, his pace, skills and knack of popping up with a goal make him unbearable for the majority of right backs. Writes a damn good article too. High Point: Registering 2 assists in 2 games having previously never got one in his time at LSE Low Point: Having to admit that he couldn’t ride a bike when the Tour de France Carol idea was decided CF: Demola Aofolaju ‘Demolukaku’ played a few games for the 6s last year

and ended up being their top scorer, so Mizrahi made acquiring the striker from the 4s his top priority. His faith has been rewarded as Demola has notched 5 goals so far this season, despite being unable to play on Saturdays due to work commitments. He’s shown his versatility too with good performances on the right wing and in the hole. High Point: Matching-winning brace against Royal Holloway 6s as well as bagging an assist Low Point: Going down with a life-threatening injury at least once a game, before getting up 10 seconds later #StayOnYourFeetSon CF: Robin Van Der Aar RvD went largely unnoticed at trials but he has repaid Miz’s faith in him with a phenomenal 7 goals in 5 games. If the ball gets on his left foot, there’s only one outcome; goal. High Point: Hat-trick against RUMS 4s which included a 25 yard screamer for his second Low Point: Missing Wednesday games so he can attend classes. Get your priorities straight.

Sport

40

Sport

11.12.2012

| The Beaver

Inside ‍ښ‏/6( )& VL[WK WHDP ‍ښ‏/LRQV 3ULGH RI %ULWDLQ ‍ښ‏5:& GUDZ UHDFWLRQ

$ &DURO RI ODXJKV The Christmas Carol is the story of the travels of the three wise men to visit the new born baby Jesus in Bethlehem. Unfortunately LSE AU could not ன QG WKUHH ZLVH PHQ DQG QR RQH was willing to admit to being a virgin, so we all got very drunk instead. The Daily Mail provided national coverage probably drawn by the high numbers of international students and the opportunity to create outrage over students having fun. With the event making its way from campus to Zoo and then back again the day didn’t disappoint with even more misbehaving than usual. Alcohol consumption began at an ordinarily frowned upon hour with a women’s rugby fresher being taken home at half eleven in the morning. A lucky escape. With so many conquests and middle of the day trips home, some found themselves not only pulling once but hav-

ing multiple successes. 007 ZDV VHHQ LQன OWUDWLQJ 'DZVRQ‍ڑ‏V Creek returning to form after a quiet Wednesday. Social Ginger pulled quickly in Zoo Bar returning to a previous week’s conquest, however this young lady soon moved onto a rugby fresher who was merely starting his own debauched day. After getting a Whole Lotta Rosie he then moved to the Presidential suite where he found room in the General’s bed scrumming down with our glorious leader till the early hours. The young apprentice found De Italy more welcoming than Sir Alan Sugar and a royal scandal took place with Kate Middleton romancing the Prince of Luxembourg; let’s KRSH :LOOLDP QHYHU ன QGV RXW Buoyed by his success in last week’s Zoo a football second year indulged his sweet tooth with a Welsh candy cane. A FC Frog was also swept along by the sugar rush devouring a

netball strawb. Rugby’s loveable drunk was seen leaving the Tuns after capturing a wild rugby girl in the long grass. With these two getting together most Wednesday nights and now talking outside Zoo bar love is clearly evolving. Haigh’s twin in football whose name will probably never be known returned to his UHJXODU ZHHNO\ ன [WXUH VFRULQJ with a red-headed tribal warrior. Malibu also romanced a yet XQLGHQWLன HG JLUO DIWHU VWHDOLQJ a love heart from another. Despite being sleepy and grumpy, &ULFNHW ZHUH GHன QLWHO\ QRW EDVKIXO ZLWK RQH JRLQJ RŕŽ‰ WR work on a netball 8’s player. Despite delightful drag attire though, the Evil Queen was unable to tempt anyone with his poison apple. After a three week absence URZLQJ ன QDOO\ GHFLGH WR WDNH part in the social life of the AU. The Hunney Badger led the way striking early with

his namesake at Zoo, he was then seen relighting an old KDOO ŕŽ‹ DPH DW 7XQV $OVR OHDG ing from the front was the Women’s captain starting with an American GI before moving onto a British agent. The Cambridge mercenary also had a successful night getting with a young rowing fresher followed by Bridget Jones. AU’s George Osborne continued his long standing negotiations with a German delegate culminating in an early evening canvassing session. The Dark Knight truly rose on campus with the caped crusader escorting a damsel in distress from Zoo back to the bat cupboard before showing her the batpole. His arch enemy Bane took up the challenge of one netball girl lightLQJ D ன UH DW =RR EHIRUH IXOன OO ing his destiny in her league of shadows. A very dynamic duo indeed! True to LSE style what is

alluded to above is only 1% of what occurred at Carol. With Zoo and Tuns descending into an AU wide orgy of drunkenness and misbehaviour only a fraction was recorded, with many people remaining anonymous. To the unlucky few who were caught better luck next year. To those we missed, don’t worry; the awkward weeks of half recognising someone whose face you were eating at Carol have just begun. With the last Zoo of this term approaching we will soon be bidding goodbye to the 2012. Although non AU-ers may look down upon us from the moral high ground they will never feel what us lucky few feel each week; the sporting strains of a Wednesday afternoon, the ecstasy of an AU night and the sheer regret of a Thursday morning. Long live the AU!

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