The Beaver: Week of March 12th, 2013

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GLOBAL AND LOCAL FEMINISM | CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS? | CHAVISMO WITHOUT CHAVEZ?

TheBeaver

12.03.2013

Newspaper of the LSE Students’ Union FREE

NEW SABBS ELECTED Newly elected Sabbatical Officers (left to right): General Secretary, Jay Stoll; Community and Welfare Officer, Anneessa Mahmood; Activities and Development Officer, Hannah Richmond; Education Officer, Rosie Coleman. Beaver Election Team

There was record turnout in this year’s Lent Term Elections as 2999 votes were cast. On Thursday, as the results came in, the Quad was packed with raucous supporters and campaigners as the results were announced. So raucous in fact, that a student commented that she had never felt such a strong feeling of community at LSE in her two years at the university. Both the defeated and the victorious breathed a sigh of relief as the night came to a close and the anticipation was ended. From these 2999 votes, Jay Stoll, Rosie Coleman, Anneessa Mahmood and Hannah Richmond were voted in as the Full-Time Sabbatical Officers. Despite, the speculative belief that Students’ Union

elections tend to be “popularity contest” each victorious candidate had individual reasons for their success and were eager to share their idiosyncratic recipes and their intentions for their year in office. From the looks of campus in the last week, one would think that LSE had abandoned its red logo and replaced it with yellow. Yellow was Jay Stoll’s choice of campaign colour, and it was on the clothing of his supporters and posters plastered around the School. And on election night this proliferation manifested itself. It began with the preelection speculation, the whisperings of victory, and it ended with Stoll’s final victory as General Secretary. However, many did attribute his success to his manifesto

promises, specifically his focus on student finance and international student issues. In the end, Stoll was voted in, earning 1,100 votes and commented that “it was unequivocally the best year of my life.” Stoll has to tackle some big issues in his year in office, which is reflected in the plurality of his commitments to his manifesto. The position of Education Officer was fiercely fought over by six candidates, but after four round of voting and 2,206 votes cast, Rosie Coleman came out on top. In the run-up, Coleman expressed feeling a bit numb but after her victory, the colour flushed back into her cheeks as she began to celebrate and vocalise her excited anticipation of future campaigns and implementation of her manifesto prom-

ises. Coming in as a close second, Jason Wong, even in defeat, managed to pat himself on the back for the accumulation of 670 votes despite his lack of a number society endorsements, and his refusal to “indulge in Houghton Street gimmicks.” Winning by 25 votes, Aneesa Mahmoud won the position of Community and Welfare Officer. She credited her success to her insider understanding of how the Students’ Union works and her catchy social media campaign as well as the Islamic Society’s support. Importantly, she pointed out that the first thing that she was going to tackle was “welfare issues” and the implementation of “a community program” as she stressed “LSE has to feel like a community.” Hannah Richmond emerged

victorious in the race for Activities and Development Officer by 31 votes. Richmond honed in on LSE’s spending, vowing to redistribute funding to societies, especially for the Music Room and the Drama Society. She commented that “LSE has a lot of money to spend, and they need to spend it on the students.” Richmond said, however, that what gave her the biggest leg up was the AU vote, which has come out of her intense involvement over the past three years. She commented that she has seen the AU grow stronger and emerge as a valid political platform. What will come of these well intentioned promises is the challenge of next year, and hopefully they live up to the tasks they have set themselves. Continued on page 4, col. 1

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Editorial

Editorial Board Executive Editor Liam Brown

editor@thebeaveronline.co.uk

12.03.2013

7KHBeaver

Managing Editor Matthew Worby

Established in 1949 Issue No. 790

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A good year for the rosies Thankfully, elections have come and gone. We can return to the usual service of Houghton Street being free, and the vast majority of students not particularly caring about the Union or its politics. It has been a long few days, and after the hangovers fade, or the tears dry, the fog of pointlessness has cleared and we can see just what this means for the Union. Firstly, while trite, we here at the paper would like to give our congratulations to the winning candidates. Probably merely adding to the long list of people already slathering congratulatory comments over whoever, but c’est la vie. A few people who do need far more sincere congratulations are people involved with the running of the elections themselves. Our opinion of a certain Democracy Coordinator is already on the record, but

it really can’t be overstatHG $V PHPEHUV RI 68 VWDŕŽ‰ have said “this election was all Lauraâ€? - we hope all candidates, winners and losers, have thanked Laura for her hard work. Especially Shyam Thakrar, who, during the election, had the nerve to raise his voice at her. It takes a certain type of person to do that over a student election, but thankfully he will not be representing you next year. There was record turnout this year, and not only were there more people running, but markedly more women as well. Interestingly, the four Full Time Sabbs have FRPSOHWHO\ ŕŽ‹ LSSHG LQ WHUPV of gender. Not only this, but with people already discussing how to broaden the targeted election events for other liberation groups on campus, the only way is up. Another person who deserves a huge congratulations is the returning of-

ficer, Rachel Quah. With a slice of humble pie for us here at the paper. Complaints were dealt with in a prompt and professional fashion, and clearly there has been a marked improvement from Michaelmas elections. This underscores the fact that the returning officer needs better training and experience - something Quah had in MT elections. Good job, Rachel - hopefully your successor can live up to the high bar you have set. Finally to the current Sabbatical Officers, it was refreshing to see genuine support from people on the sidelines for almost all of the candidates that will replace them. We hope that this is a trend for the future - let’s put the division of last year behind us. So with election week RYHU ZH ORRN WR WKH ன QDO weeks of this term, the start of Easter, and exams. Scary VWXŕŽ‰ IRU XV DOO

Editor Election Announcement We will be electing a new Executive Editor, Managing Editor, and Design Editor for the 2013-2014 academic year. Hustings take place Monday 18th March at 6:30pm in NAB 2.06. A Features Editor election will also take place, for a term starting immediately. Voting will take place online and is open to collective members only.

8QLRQ %DVKÄ? Week Nine Time is almost nigh. At the penultimate week, hope it will speed up.

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News

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

LSE-UCT summer school in South Africa Arisa Manawapat

EVENTS IN BRIEF Grand Final of the Open Mic Competition by the LSE SU Music Society Monday 11th March The Tuns, 7:30-11:00pm Campus Extremism, Freedom and Security Conference Tuesday 12th March SP 1HZ 7KHDWUH (DVW %XLOGLQJ LSESU is convening this conference to promote dialogue, discussion and debate among the key stakeholders in the debate on freedom, extremism, and VHFXULW\

$'5,$1 )5,7+

Last Wednesday, the LSE and the University of Cape Town (UCT) announced the launch of the inaugural LSE-UCT -XO\ 6FKRRO From July 1st to 12th 2013, the two-week summer school-style programme will RŕŽ‰ HU D UDQJH RI XQLYHUVLW\ level courses taught by faculty from two of the world’s leading institutions for teachLQJ DQG UHVHDUFK )RXQGHG LQ 1829, UCT is South Africa’s oldest university, located on WKH &DSH 3HQLQVXOD The LSE-UCT July School ZLOO EH WKH ன UVW FROODERUDWLRQ of its kind, between leading institutions in Europe and Africa, building on the continuing success of the LSE-PKU Summer School in Beijing, QRZ LQ LWV WHQWK \HDU The July School will provide students, graduates and professionals from across the globe “an exciting new opportunity to study important social sciences issues relevant WR $IULFD WRGD\ ‍( ڕ‏DFK FRXUVH will comprise 48 contact KRXUV RYHU WZR ZHHNV 7KH FRXUVHV RŕŽ‰ HUHG LQ -XO\ include “The State, Democracy and Development in Africaâ€? and Poverty: What causes LW DQG ZKDW LW FDXVHV‍ ڕ‏

3

The LSE Annual Fund will provide full and partial bursaries to current LSE students who wish to join the proJUDPPH $ QXPEHU RI EXU saries are also available for African nationals wishing to attend, funded by Standard %DQN 3URIHVVRU 7KDQGLND Mkandawire, Head of the LSE $IULFDQ ,QLWLDWLYH VDLG ‍ڔ‏7KH LSE-UCT July School is an exciting way of bringing together students and professionals from around the world, to use the social sciences to address

some of Africa and other continents’ most challenging isVXHV ‍ڕ‏ 3URIHVVRU 1DQ <HOG $FD demic Director for the programme at UCT said “This programme will allow participants to study issues relevant to Africa today whilst experiencing the continent ன UVW KDQG , DP VXUH WKH\ ZLOO learn a great deal from each other, the teachers, and the experience of two weeks in &DSH 7RZQ ‍ڕ‏ Applications are now open,

and can be completed online YLD WKH /6( ZHEVLWH :KLOH there is no minimum grade requirement for applications to the programme, applicants “ should be prepared to actively participate in a rigorous, intensive academic programme run by two leading research and teaching univerVLWLHV ‍ ڕ‏7KH DSSOLFDWLRQ GHDG line is May 15th 2013, and a discount will be available to participants whose completed application is received beIRUH 0DUFK VW

TwentySomethings well received

V-Day LSE Vagina Monolgues Tuesday 12th March, Old Theatre, 7:30-10:45 The LSESU Feminist Society, in collaboration with *HQGHU ,QVWLWXWH VWXGHQWV is putting on Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues as /6(‍ڑ‏V 9 'D\ HYHQW

AU Ball Wednesday 13 March 2013 7pm - 11:30pm Grand Connaught Rooms LSE Athetic Union will be holding its Award CerHPRQ\ DQG %DOO 7KLV ZLOO be an unforgettable night in which we honour the amazLQJ VSRUWLQJ WDOHQW DW /6(

'(67,1 ,QGXVWU\ 5HFHSWLRQ Friday 15 March 2013 6pm - 10pm LSE Senior Dining Room (Old Building)

Sarah Essa

The eagerly anticipated LSESU Drama society original play hit the Old Theatre last week for a WKUHH QLJKW UXQ $ P\VWHULRXV narrator declared, “you are your own Pandoraâ€?, leaving the audience intrigued about WKH VWRU\ DERXW WR XQUDYHO The plot centred on a group of TwentySomethings, weaving in and out of each other’s lives, visited by the narrator UHSUHVHQWLQJ D ன JXUH RI GH spair in key moments in their OLYHV Carrying echoes of Girlfriend in a Coma by Canadian writer Douglas Coupland, there were moments of ethereal transcendence in Twenty6RPHWKLQJV 7KH LQVLJKWIXO XVH of character monologues pon-

dering the attitude to life in ‘your twenties’ illustrated this, with Daemon (Tom Speed) UHŕŽ‹ HFWLQJ KRZ ZH EXPS DQG grind in nightclubs, to escape the fear of never ‘living up to RXU SRWHQWLDO‍ ڑ‏ Although it was certainly not all doom and gloom, with some great comic relief throughout the play, graciousO\ HPEUDFHG E\ WKH DXGLHQFH With the many twists and turns in the plot, the directing kept the structure of the play nearly arranged, with the storytelling of the narrator, Erica, (Rachel Grace Williams) innoYDWLYHO\ FUDIWHG LQ WKH VFULSW Additionally, the re-occurrence of the song ‘TwentySomethings’ by Jamie Callum served DV D ன WWLQJ WKHPH WR WLH WKH ZKROH SURGXFWLRQ WRJHWKHU

The cast interacted with HDFK RWKHU HŕŽ‰ RUWOHVVO\ WKURXJK all the highs and the lows, with a fantastic casting choice of Erica (Rachel Grace Williams) DQG -HUHP\ )LRQQ 6KLQHU Given the accessibility of the play to a student audience, the play received generous apSODXVH $VLD :LOOLDPV D WKLUG year Geography student, in the audience commented, “TwentySomethings captured the dilemma students face when stepping out into the real ZRUOG DV DGXOWV WU\LQJ WR ன QG their niche, being responsible but still enjoying their youth and basking in trivial probOHPV ,W ZDV D JRRG PL[WXUH RI IXQQ\ DQG VHULRXV ன OOHG ZLWK poignant elements that enFRXUDJH \RX WR WKLQN , KDYH D few friends that could relate to

the character of Cathy, which made me laugh, young love and naivety is something that eveU\RQH FDQ ன QG SDUDOOHOV ZLWK and don’t we all know douches like Daemon! The actors were dynamic and altogether the play was well coordinated, and impressive, especially for a student production!â€? Emily Delahaye, President of the LSESU Drama Society was thrilled with the performance, saying, “the large audience numbers across the three nights show that the arts do have a following at /6( ZKLFK LV YHU\ LPSRUWDQW ‍ڕ‏ Editors’ note: in the previous issue, the“LSESU drama productionâ€? should be correctly termed “the production of the LSE SU Drama Societyâ€?.

7KH ,QGXVWU\ 5HFHSWLRQ LV an annual event organized E\ '(67,1 ZKLFK EULQJV together students and representatives from various organizations working on international development LVVXHV

Exploring Equal Access to Higher Education for Asylum Seekers and Refugees in the UK Thursday 14th March from 6pm-8pm in the Seligman Library Join in the discussion about the discrepancies and ambiguities in higher education policy for individuals in the UK seeking protection from SHUVHFXWLRQ DQG FRQŕŽ‹ LFW

GOT A SCOOP? Got a story that you think we should be printing? Send us an e-mail: news@thebeaveronline.co.uk

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News

12.03.2013

| The Beaver

Part-Time Officer elections Continued from front page

Women’s Officer proved to be a very close election, in which Imogen Young won with 734 votes in total. Young felt “elatedâ€? and said she looks forward to “getting really stuck in the role.â€? Newly elected LGBT Officer Matthew White received 782 votes. He said it was a “long weekâ€? and was ‍ڔ‏JODG LW SDLG RŕŽ‰ ‍ ڕ‏7KH PRVW LP mediate issues White wanted to tackle were “zero tolerance against homophobiaâ€?, “safe sexâ€? and more integration for the LGBT community. LGBT Officer Candidate Nathalie Pinole was reported to have tonsolitis during the week, and was unable to campaign. Hamza Jawaid, International Officer, received 1374 votes

and was “relieved, after weeks of campaigning.� He felt that was “so ironic that even though there were many international students at the LSE, there was only one candidate.� Jawaid wants to “inform students what the SU stands for� and tackle “post-study visa and fees.� He felt that the LSE should “give more consultation for international students to get jobs in the UK.� Rayhan Uddin was elected Anti-Racism Officer, receiving 911 votes. Uddin said he felt “great� but it had been a “tough couple of days.� When asked why he won, Uddin answered, “Hustings, society endorsements� and his campaign as a referee with a red light to racism on

Houghton Street. The new Environmental and Ethics Officer, Gabriel Everington, received 579 votes. He felt “pretty elated�,

“very surprised� and would like to thank Sam Barnett and Carr Saunders Hall for their support. His immediate plans are to “get the Green and Lib-

eration societies, as well as Hall presidents, in coordination.â€? Jade Symonds was elected the new Disabled Students’ Officer with 1479 votes. After running for the same position last year, she felt “very happyâ€? about being elected. She believed the biggest issue which needs to be tackOHG LV ‍ڔ‏VHOI GHன QLWLRQ‍ ڕ‏DQG the “perceptions of being disabled.â€? She aims to be “more visibleâ€? so that students know who she is. “It was very hard to cope alone with being disabled as a IUHVKHU‍ ڕ‏DQG VKH KRSHV WR ன [ WKLV VR WKDW ன UVW \HDUV ‍ڔ‏GRQ‍ڑ‏W need to go through it alone.â€? The new AU President, Harold Craston, received 843

votes. He was “jubilant� and thought his opposition was a “very strong candidate.� Nona Buckley-Irvine was elected the RAG President with 1242 votes. She looks forward to “making a lot more money for RAG next year� by having a “full calendar� and by linking other societies. Joe Anderson, Louis Daves, Mohammed Aziz, Ali Issa, and Prateek Gupta were elected to the Democracy Committee. James Broad, Nino Enukidze, Thomas Meaden, Megan Trethewey and Jamie Mcsherry were elected to the AU Executive. Joseph Anderson and Mustafaen Kamal were elected as Student Trustees.

Complaints and controversies This year’s Student Union elections saw the largest number of voters of any LSE election since online records began. The Quad saw hundreds of students turn up in eager anticipation of the results. Before the announcements of results, one of the Beaver VWDŕŽ‰ UHSRUWHUV LQWHUYLHZHG General Secretary candidate, Izmir Bajrami, who when asked who his biggest competitor was stated, “some little guy called Jay.â€? When questioned further, Bajrami elaborated by stating, “he [Jay] has been working for this position for a long time, he’s pulling the Jew card. If I was Jewish I would be of-

“...he’s pulling the Jew card. If I was Jewish I would be Rૼ HQGHG ‍ڕ‏ fended.â€? Commenting on his campaign, Bajrami told the Beaver reporter, “hustings and the moderator were a major failure.â€? In response to Bajrami’s remark, Jay Stoll “it’s a shame when loads of people have seen this election as a fresh start, and someone comes out so bitter. This has been a really heartfelt week. Right now, I’m just focusing on my goals.â€? President of the Jewish Society, Olivia Jacobs, retorted “the statements made by Izmir DUH KLJKO\ RŕŽ‰ HQVLYH 7KH VXJ gestion that being Jewish allows some form of overt or covert control over the democratic process is blatant oldage anti-Semitism. Jewish students should have their success judged by merit and not by racist conspiratorial senti-

ment. Furthermore, to reduce an individual’s religious identity to mere campaign strategy is completely unacceptable. Students should be free to express individual beliefs without attack or intimidation.â€? There were further dissatifactory remarks from candidates who were not happy with the results. Sally Bonsall, who ran for the position of Women’s Officer, tweeted after the elections, “LSESU needs community voting.â€? Bonsall also created a Facebook status later that evening stated, “Yo, still the biggest feminist on campus.â€? Joe Anderson, who secured positions on the Democracy Committee and Board of Trustees, was overjoyed with his appointment, tweeting ‍ڔ‏FKXŕŽ‰ HG WR KDYH been elected UGM chair at @ lsesu. Let’s get democracy working.â€? However, Anderson was constitutionally obliged to step down from one of the two positions due to a clause in the SU constitution that states “members of the Democracy Committee shall not hold any position on the Executive Committee or the Board of Trustees.â€? Notorious student activist, Jason Wong, secured 700 votes in the run for Education Officer, missing out on the position to Rosie Coleman. Before the announcement of the results, Wong stated “at the end of the day, whether win or lose I have done my job. I have given them hell, and given the Sabbatical Officers

what they deserved.â€? Wong was also heavily critical of certain society endorsement. Speaking to a Beaver VWDŕŽ‰ UHSRUWHU :RQJ VDLG ‍ڔ‏DV a candidate against the establishment, I felt that my campaign was suppressed on the eve of the election. For example, the Amnesty International Society sent an email to their members warning them to vote against me.â€? President of Amnesty International, Jamie Pelling, re-

sponded to Wong’s remark, saying... XXX Following the results, Wong wrote a public comment on his Twitter and Facebook pages, thanking those who had supported and campaigned for him, and stating “I have every intention to continue doing what I have been doing in the past two years: holding the SU to account, scrutinising our Sabbatical Officers and doing what I can to keep LSE the exceptional university that it is.� Certain students, who wished to remain anonymous, were highly critical of elected LGBT Officer, Matt White, who during his campaign handed

out free condoms. Students said that they felt advocating LGBT issues in this way made it seem as though “safe sex is only a homosexual problem� and that it encourages the association of AIDS and gay men. “The association of AIDS and gay men has become so ingrained that we don’t even question this association, even though it has become demythologised in recent years.� Throughout the elections, an anonymous social media presences emerged on Twitter and Tumblr. A Tumblr platform titled “Electile Dysfunction� (www. electiledysfunction.tumblr.com) fact checked manifestos for certain sabbatical positions, through the manifestos of candidates, giving candidates a rating from 6 categories on how realistic the implementation of their policies was. The Beaver has also learned that various complaints were made to the Returning Officer during campaigning. It was alleged that certain faith societies which had endorsed candidates forced their members to vote on laptops in prayer rooms. Activities and Development candidate Areez Rahman complained to the Returning Officer saying, “while praying, I could hear the people in the room asking others, who were coming in or about to leave the room, whether or not they have voted for the elections. Up to then it was okay. But

then they gave him a laptop to vote and also said these exact words “these are the list of the candidates we want you to vote, because they have promised good things for our sociHW\‍ ڕ‏2QFH , ன QLVKHG P\ SUD\HU and was about to leave, even I was asked to vote there and was given a laptop. I politely told them that I would do it from home.â€? According to Rahman, the matter was dropped completely by the Returning Officer, despite explicit clauses in the SU Campaigning Constitution that campaign teams “are not allowed to provide students with electronic devices to vote withâ€? and “a candidate or their

“I have given them hell, and given the Sabbatical Officers what they GHVHUYHG ‍ڕ‏ campaigns team should not be nearby a computer, when a student is voting.â€? The Union told us that the matter was thoroughly investigated and sufficient action taken in warning candidates against the use of laptops in illiciting votes.

The Beaver News Team would like to thank the following VWDŕŽ‰ UHSRUWHUV ZKR LQWHU viewed candidates and audience members throughout the night: Hannah Baker Paula Brito Sophie Donszelmann Shu Hang Josh Jinruang Jiamin Lua Harry Burdon

News

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

5

Think outside the box:TEDxLSE Samirah Haujee

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6

News

12.03.2013

| The Beaver

LSE Energy Conference 2013 The LSE Annual Energy Conference 2013 was held last Thursday and Friday at the Grand Connaught Rooms in Holborn. The event, organised by the LSE Energy Society, saw ticket sales as high as 80 for Thursday and 120 for Friday, and was the world’s largest student-led energy conference, featuring twenty leading speakers from various educational and professional backgrounds. A Nobel Peace Prize recipient, Professor Michael -HŕŽ‰HUVRQ VSRNH RQ EHKDOI RI the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), and started the conference with a captivating speech that attacked the “delusionalâ€? aspirations for the role of future renewable energy. Outlining the pitfalls of current sources of renewable energy, from the intermittency and high cost of wind and solar technologies to the fact that land usage for biomass is responsible for 70 per cent of rising food prices, ProfesVRU -HŕŽ‰HUVRQ GHFRQVWUXFWHG many assumptions and “exaggerationsâ€? about the ability for renewable energy to solve the world’s energy crisis. “I don’t like the look of things at all.â€? In the Q&A session that IROORZHG 3URIHVVRU -HŕŽ‰HUson explained how political and environmental difficulties mean gas is unlikely to be the solution to global energy needs. The stage was set for the subsequent panel on shale gas and other unconventional resources to PHHW 3URIHVVRU -HŕŽ‰HUVRQ‍ڑ‏V challenge and provide answers. A diverse group, consisting of Dr Leonid Anisimov, Chief Researcher at Lukoil, Malcolm Forbes-Cable, Senior Consultant at Wood Mac-

OPENDAYS

Jonathan Griggs

kenzie, Teddy Kott, Head of Gas Analytics at EDF Trading, and Dr Samuela Bassi, Policy Analyst at the Grantham Institute, the panel highlighted the remarkable potential of shale gas and other unconventional hydrocarbons to revolutionize energy production. Although concerns about the inertia in embracing shale outside North AmeriFD WKH HŕŽ‰HFW RI LWV H[SORLWDtion on already declining gas prices, and its environmental impact were addressed, the panel was generally enthusiastic about shale’s prospects for meeting energy needs in the foreseeable future. Reactions to the panel were mixed. One LSE postgraduate noted how they “threw out numbers, data and graphsâ€? without addressing the criticisms raised by ProIHVVRU -HŕŽ‰HUVRQ $QRWKHU VWX-

dent disagreed, saying “they gave a good argument on the use of shale gas, but I think that their focus was just difIHUHQW IURP -HŕŽ‰HUVRQ‍ڑ‏V ‍ڕ‏ &ORVLQJ WKH EXV\ னUVW GD\ was a panel and Q&A session RQ HQHUJ\ னQDQFH -XOLR 'DO Poz from Statoil explained KRZ HQHUJ\ னUPV DUH IUHHing up assets to invest in unconventionals, and Angus McCrone underlined the hundreds of billions of dollars being invested in clean energy. It remains to be seen whether these facts will SURYH 3URIHVVRU -HŕŽ‰HUVRQ wrong. Friday’s agenda carried on the theme of possible solutions to future energy demands. A panel which included, inter alia, an energy policy academic, the Chair of the UK Office for Renewable Energy Deployment, and a Managing Director of the

World Business Council for Sustainable Development, looked at the possibility of Europe becoming “The Continent of Renewable Energy� by 2050. This was followed by a keynote speech by Emeritus Professor in Economics at the University of Cambridge and World Bank consultant Professor David Newbery, who stressed the role of nuclear energy in achieving decarbonisation targets. Another unique and exciting aspect of the conference was the use of Google Hangout to connect with universities worldwide. From 2:00pm to 3:30pm, the Google+ International University Hangout saw the Universities of Siena and Bocconi engaged in debate with the Energy Conference, while several partnering universities such as Yale and Har-

vard observed. Other partnering universities include Cambridge, Columbia, Imperial, and Stanford. The entire conference was broadcasted online to these universities and many others. After a panel on “Energizing the Emerging World,â€? which included representatives from the EBRD and the Brazilian Embassy, as well as the CEO of ABM Analytics and an expert scholar on Russian energy diplomacy, Neil Gilmour from Shell gave a surprisingly optimistic closing speech. These speakers were in agreement that, as it stands, the 21st century looks increasingly to be the century of natural gas. Participants felt the conference was informative and enjoyable, but that it “raised more questions than answers.â€? Commenting on this point and the conference as a whole, LSE Energy Society President Andrea Gori said “mission accomplished.â€? The objective of the conference was to bring in as many different perspectives as possible and to engage the audience. 3URIHVVRU -HŕŽ‰HUVRQ DQG many of the speakers emphasized that the energy question is ultimately one of awareness. In order to tackle the problem surrounding energy consumers need to change their behaviour, but change must also come from within the industry. It is vital for new graduates enWHULQJ WKH HQHUJ\ னHOG WR EH conscious of the alternatives that exist to bring about this change. The LSE Energy Society is the largest university energy society in the world. This Wednesday the Society will host a public lecture by UHQRZQHG HFRQRPLVW -HŕŽ‰UH\ Sachs.

Cambridge vs. LSE Anthropology Debate discussion. Arguing for the motion The recently invented tradi- that anthropologists should tion of the annual Cambridge intervene in times of crisis vs. LSE anthropology debate the LSE debaters (Carlo Suentered its second year on shant Chari, Oscar Wrenn, Monday the 4th of March. and Oliver Keisner) articuAfter hosting Cambridge in lated a position that brought the Shaw Library last year, the problem of intervention a team of three undergradu- to the very centre of anate debaters and cohort of thropology’s uncertain and fellow students and interest- contested epistemological HG VWDŕŽ‰ PHPEHUV KHDGHG WR position. Showing that anleafy Cambridge. Although thropologists inevitably inno clear winner had been es- tervene by the very nature tablished the previous year, of their work (living with and the divisive motion put for- presenting the lives of often ward by the Cambridge an- subjugated peoples) the LSE thropology society set the team argued that a more postage for an impassioned liticised anthropology that

Asa Thomas

acknowledges this and acts upon it is necessary. The Cambridge team (Dorothea Berglar, David Ginsborg, and Ed Pulford) replied by rightly pointing out that as scientists anthropologists are in a powerful and potentially dangerous position vis-à -vis the people they study and that their representation of them could be and has been used in ways that directly harm them. By politicising anthropology the representation of these people is skewed by the anthropologist’s own political subjectivity, the Cambridge team argued.

Eventually winning with a vote of 15 to 13 (with 5 abstentions) the LSE team took the debate to the question of what anthropology actually aims to do. The debate over whether anthropology is an objective science trying to understand the lives of others (as Cambridge articulated) or a more interpretative endeavour concerned with entertaining and representLQJ GLŕŽ‰HUHQW ZD\V RI OLYLQJ has plagued anthropology for decades and it inevitaEO\ GHனQHG WKH FRXUVH RI WKH debate. It must be said that there was no satisfactory answer at the end of a long

hour of passionate argument. However it was Cambridge’s claim to objectivity that failed to acknowledge the inevitable intervention of the anthropologist and let them down, even if LSE’s heavily theoretical position moved the debate away from more concrete and direct confrontation and into abstraction. After a wonderful evening of fervent debate in the னWWLQJ VHWWLQJ RI &DPEULGJH University the debate can be put to rest for another year, at least until LSE hosts the next instalment of this young and exciting tradition.

News

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

Minorities and women ‘underrepresented’ in LSE public events Tracy Dariane

“We started this campaign because we want the panels of the LSE events to be more diverse, and we want LSE to recognize that this is a problem,� is the main concern expressed by Lioba Hirsch, one of the initiators of the “We are LSE� campaign. The co-initiator, Kitty Webster, also adds that this issue is of high relevance, “I want to stress that one of the ways LSE positions itself in the world is through the public events it organises, and this is why we need to emphasise that the underrepresentation of women and minority groups is of high relevance.� After attending a large number of public events at the LSE, Hirsch and Webster observed that women and minority groups were misrepresented in the panels of speakers and decided to change this through their

getting involved every day.â€? The journey of the campaign witnessed an even greater success after a meeting with the LSE Public Events manager, Alan Revel. Revel acknowledged the issue at hand, and expressed his support for the campaign. Revel took forth this to the LSE Director, Craig Calhoun, and both will work towards sending and distributing proposals WR GLŕŽ‰HUHQW GHSDUWPHQWV WR consequently begin with the FKDQJHV :HEVWHU UHŕŽ‹HFWV on the meeting, “The meeting with the LSE Public Events team was a success with positive feedback.â€? She adds on a more general scale, “We have received a good feedback from the people we have spoken to ZKHWKHU LW ZDV VWDŕŽ‰ PHPber or students.â€? “This campaign is not meant to change structural problems, but acts as a step towards potentially chang-

Interview with the creators of LSE Compliments

Aleona Krechetova, 6WDૼ 5HSRUWHU

Following the global university trend, the London School of Economics Compliments page has been one the most talked about page on Facebook since the birth and steady demise of LSE Memes last year. Set on unveiling the darkest secrets of the Internet, we sit down with the creators of the Facebook page with over 1,500 likes. What made you want to set up this page? Could you tell us a bit more about yourselves?

The Compliments Page concept started at Queen’s University in Canada by a couple friends who wanted a simple way to increase positivity and happiness campaign “We are LSE.â€? LQJ WKHP WKLV னUVW VWHS LV amongst the student body. Webster explains, “We got to no longer have under- After the Queen’s project increasingly infuriated; it represented groups,â€? says was so popular and reUHSUHVHQWV D ZLGH GHனFLW Hirsch. She also adds, “LSE ceived media attention, of women and minority and is a world famous university Columbia University and this a really good opportuni- with an incredibly interna- Yale University jumped ty to work against these his- tional student body and this on board and experienced toric discernments.â€? Both student body needs to be similar results. initiators noted that only 25 per cent of panel speakers are women. They added that this underrepresentation is also shared with members of black and minority ethnics (BME). Ever since its initiation, the campaign has now LSE VWDŕŽ‰ PHPEHUV DQG VWXGHQWV participating and supporting the cause. Hirsch explains, “We want the campaign to be as inclusive of the LSE community as possible.â€? One of the main means of spreading awareness is through an online petition. This petition has paved the way to a massive engagement from the LSE student body; it is ongoing, and growing with over 200 VLJQDWXUHV :HEVWHU UHŕŽ‹HFWV on the success of the petition, “We are happy because more and more people are

respected and represented towards the outside community.â€? Members of the “We are /6(‍ ڕ‏FDPSDLJQ DUH FRQனdent of upcoming successful changes. This campaign’s ongoing works include all the departments and the student union. Hirsch explains, “We have worked with Alex Peters-Day, the SU General Secretary, and the newly elected General Secretary, Jay Stoll has signed the petition.â€? The members of the campaign meet every Friday to ensure that their ongoing work is progressing on the right track, and encourage any interested individual to either join them, or to sign their online petition, titled “Equality and Inclusion at LSE Public Eventsâ€?, at ipetitions.com.

7

We saw the story about the Queen’s University and decided it was something that LSE students would like. We’ve been running since December 3rd, 2012. As for who we are, we won’t say! We will admit we are a team and students at LSE who are involved on campus, attend class, explore London and spend way too much time on Facebook Keeping our identities secret makes the Compliments project even more special. The fact that those who compliment don’t know who we are but share with us is evidence that LSE students trust us. That trust is an honour we take seriously will protect. Wow, and power to you. Why do you think the page is so

popular? Is it because LSE is full of loveable nerds? Or because people just don’t know how to say what they feel in person? Good question! We knew the pages at the other Universities had received thousands of Likes so we knew the project had a history of being popular. But the fact that we became so popular so fast is exciting! We think the project is so successful here and across the world because compliments are something that all people from all over the world appreciate receiving and like to give. Have you noticed any trends over the last couple of months ? We’re happy to say we’ve had a steady stream of compliments since we started. As you can tell from our wall, Valentines Day inspired quite a few LSE-Cupids. However other events at LSE, like RAG week and student performances, are just as inspirational as holidays. How do people know if they’ve been ‘complimented’? We leave compliment-noWLனFDWLRQ XS WR WKRVH ZKR check our page. If you’re looking at the LSE Compliment’s page and recognize your friend as a ‘Complimentee’, then its up to you to tag them or tell them to look at the page. This is partially due to the logistics of the Facebook page tagging process and partially because it’s a fun way to involve more people, besides just the Complimentor. Do you publish ALL compliments sent to you? Or do you put all compliments through a rigor-

ous

selection

process?

We very rarely do not publish a compliment. We carefully read everything that’s submitted to us but we put a lot of trust in the LSE community to send us things that are appropriate DQG ZLOO JHQXLQHO\ னW ZLWK our goal: to spread joy. If there’s anything that’s inappropriate, we will contact the Compliment-giver to explain why we can’t post the compliment as it’s written and will encourage him or her to edit and resubmit. Have you yourselves ever used the page to pay your friend/lecturer/loved one a compliment? Or have you ever received compliments via the page? We have participated indeed in the project, we love giving compliments! But we won’t say if we’ve received a compliment‌that might jeopardise all attempts to keep our identities hidden. Have you had to compete with any other facebook pages for popularity - such as “Spotted: LSE Campusâ€?? We don’t compete, we just compliment. Last but not least, if you could pay someone at LSE a compliment – who would it be and what would you say? As LSE Compliments we have given one compliment so far, on Valentines Day, and it still holds true, except that we’ve gained more Likers since February 14th: We, LSE Compliments, compliment all of our submitters and 1,580 Likers who have helped make this project a complete success. It really wouldn’t be possible with out you. Keep on spreading the joy.

8

Advert

12.03.2013

| The Beaver

STARS and SU Awards NOMINATIONS ARE NOW OPEN FOR STARS AND SU AWARDS. THE STARS AWARDS GIVE YOUR CLUB OR SOCIETY AN IMPORTANT OPPORTUNITY TO SHOWCASE WHAT THEY HAVE DONE OVER THE LAST YEAR AND BE AWARDED FOR THE BRILLIANT ACTIVITIES THAT HAVE TAKEN PLACE. THE SU AWARDS REWARD OUTSTANDING ACTIVITIES AND WORK THAT INDIVIDUALS, CLUBS AND SOCIETIES HAVE CARRIED OUT. IF YOU CAN THINK OF ANY INDIVIDUAL, CLUB OR SOCIETY WHO DESERVES THIS AWARD PLEASE NOMINATE THEM. NOMINATIONS CLOSE ON THE 21ST OF MARCH. FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE AWARDS OR NOMINATIONS FORMS PLEASE GO TO: WWW.LSESU.COM/ACTIVITIES/AWARDSANDRECOGNITION/ OR CONTACT IAIN PULLAR, SOCIETIES DEVELOPMENT COORDINATOR: I.T.PULLAR@LSE.AC.UK

FRIDAY 3RD MAY BLUEPRINT BAR

Comment Comment

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

9

Chavismo without ChĂĄvez? Comment Leader: Cristina Espinal on the challenges facing Venezuela’s next leader uct (GDP) growth per capita. This is coupled with the fact that they have received the biggest oil revenues in history, amounting to US$600 billion. ChĂĄvez was able to turn the national oil company (PDVSA) and the Central Bank LQWR YHKLFOHV IRU RSDTXH RŕŽ‰ budget spending. He packed the courts, and gained full control of the legislature, stripping local governments and the national assembly of much of their powers. All of

tion has spent the proceeds of the oil boom in inefficient and corrupt ways with billions of dollars being directed into elusive development funds with no accountability as well through cheap deals with his regional counterparts in an attempt to spread WKH LQŕŽ‹ XHQFH RI KLV %ROLYDU ian revolution. He failed to diversify an economy that is on the brink of total collapse. In his fourteen years of power he nationalised more than 100 companies, reduced the number of industries from 14000 to 9000 with industrial employment falling from 840 000 to 540 000. Moreover, data from PDVSA and Finance Ministry show that total public debt went from US$33 million in 1998 to US$122 million in 2012, increasing to VL[ WLPHV LWV initial value in fourteen years Furthermore, his acclaimed socialist programmes are generally inefficient, with university graduates lacking the proper skills to obtain a job and hospitals lacking sufficient resources and materials to provide the promised free healthcare. Moreover, his generous aid comes with certain rules and regulaWLRQV ,Q RUGHU WR EHQHன W IURP his socialist programmes, you have to be a follower of ChĂĄvez and if you fail to vote for him not only will the aid be cut but also, if you are a government employee, you ZLOO ன QG \RXUVHOI ZLWKRXW D job. His number one priority was political dictatorship rather than the development of Venezuela. His pictures were spread over billboards all across Venezuela, claiming to be ‘ChĂĄvez, the heart of the people’, which allowed him to instigate a system of dependency whereby he was Venezuela and as a result we LA

autocratic leader can rally so much support and win three consecutive terms in office. The answer is simple and holds the key to all his political success, and that is through the empowerment of the poor. Having come from humble beginnings, the majority of Venezuelans were able to associate themselves with the new leader who empowered and energised them as opposed to the neglect and marginalization they had received by the former elitist governments. Thus, Chávez made sure to side with the millions of impoverished Venezuelans, encompassing them in his political, social and econ o m i c spheres, recognising them as his most prized possession for their political benefits. Chávez showed his commitment by introducing a wave of socialist programmes in 2004, which provided free healthcare and education, amongst other things, to millions of Venezuelans. Chávez addressed WKH LVVXH RI LQHTXDOLW\ WKDW had been overlooked by previous governments by achieving social mobility. As a reVXOW 9HQH]XHOD KDV DFTXLUHG D ORZHU *LQL LQGH[ PDNLQJ LW more egalitarian than it was in 1999. However, before we regard Chávez as the perfect GHSLFWLRQ RI D WZHQW\ ன UVW century socialist, we need to put things into perspective. He changed Venezuela in fundamental ways, but inFRPH LQHTXDOLW\ KDV GHFOLQHG in most of the region and as 9HQH]XHOD KDV WKH ன IWK ODUJ est economy in Latin America, the government cannot justiI\ KDYLQJ RQH RI WKH ZRUVW ன J ures of Gross Domestic Prod-

ELKO KOPAR RIL

“There will be no national mourning because today died a corrupt man, a dictatorâ€?. These harsh words are not intended for ChĂĄvez but were rather words of ChĂĄvez himself, directed towards the 66th president of Venezuela, Carlos AndrĂŠs PĂŠrez, after his death. Despite the proliferation of images of Venezuelans crying and mourning over ChĂĄvez’s death, the burning of student protestors’ tents by ChĂĄvez’s disillusioned followers who simply wanted answers from an apparently cured ChĂĄvez went unnoticed. Hence, many can afன OLDWH WKLV H[DFW TXRWH ZLWK ChĂĄvez himself. March 5th 2013 marked the death of Hugo ChĂĄvez, one of Venezuela’s most famous men RI WKH WZHQW\ ன UVW FHQWXU\ After battling with an undisclosed cancer since June 2011, the president left a legacy unparalleled in the history of Venezuela, serving as one of the most active, FRQWURYHUVLDO DQG LQŕŽ‹ XHQWLDO statesmen in the domestic and international arena. The charismatic leader seemed to be indestructible, having won a third presidential election in October 2012 thanks WR RQH RI WKH ன IWHHQ FKDQJHV he made to the constitution which allowed him to be reHOHFWHG LQGHன QLWHO\ +LV GHDWK elucidates even more uncertainties into the political arena with the current party in power, Partido Socialista Unido de Venezuela (PSUV), declaring the Vice-President and former bus driver, Nicolas Maduro, as interim president on March 8th. This move further constitutes an abuse of power and constitutional fraud, due to the violation of article 233, which signals that the president of the National Assembly, Diosdado Cabello, should have become interim president, recalling elections within 30 days. Whether you agree with the allegations or not, this move made by the government serves as a perIHFW H[DPSOH RI D GLFWDWRULDO regime who has almost absolute control of all institutions from the National Assembly, to the Supreme Court and the National Electoral Council and uses its control to incessantly violate the laws and rights of all Venezuelans in order to maintain power. Many ask how such an

his actions were calculated to increase his populist support amongst the poor, while harassing the rest and as a result widening society’s divisions. His economic strategy was dubious to say the least. Despite being an oil rich country, and the price of a barrel of oil increasing to roughly ten times what LW ZDV ZKHQ KH ZDV ன UVW elected, ChĂĄvez did little to beset Venezuela’s crumbling infrastructure, overvalued currency, underperforming industry and soaring crime rates. ChĂĄvez’s administra-

were all ChĂĄvez. There is no doubt that ‘chavismo’ will survive its founder, with the challenge of continuing it without ChĂĄvez left up to the former vice president, Nicolas Maduro. Unfortunately for him, he not only has to grapple with some fractious problems such as trying to stimulate an economy which is in the worst state in history and deal with a 32 per cent devaluation, but must do so with a soaring public debt and minimal funds. The pre-election spending binge that occurred last year can no longer be supported this time around. Furthermore, Maduro lacks ChĂĄvez’s charisma and oratorical skills when communicating with the masses and has had to result to ChĂĄvez’s legacy amongst the vulnerable lower class for his political campaign. Insecurity also needs to be combatted with a soaring murder rate, from 3200 in 1998 to 21 000 in 2012. The moment when the majority of Venezuelans will come to realise that ChĂĄvez failed to develop and allocate government funds accordingly is a long time away. Venezuela comes last in almost all categories for economic competitiveness and good governance. Its infrastructure, health services and education have been left on the EDFNEXUQHU VDFULன FHG IRU WKH political aims of ChĂĄvez on KLV TXHVW WR PDLQWDLQ SRZHU in the same way as his Communist dictator predecessors Castro, Mao Zedong and Lenin. ChĂĄvez’s power ambitions drove him to declare himself cured of cancer in late 2012, before calling forward the presidential elections by two months. Despite the trust instilled in him by his followers, he continued to manipulate them for his ulterior motives, and not surprisingly, two months after his electoral win, had to undergo yet another cancer treatment in Cuba, leaving the country president-less until his death. Despite this, ChĂĄvez died WULXPSKDQWO\ ZLWK KLV ன JXUH serving as the country’s main identity. Chavismo will continue to blindside reality and the realisation that what Venezuela deserves will not occur until the people want it for themselves.

10

Comment

12.03.2013

UNION

| The Beaver

Mohamed Harrath and Matt Pennill

Commenting on the SU election results as they came in Initial thoughts as polls closeMH This year has seen record turnout in elections with just under VWXGHQWV YRWLQJ D VLJQLனFDQW increase from the 2189 votes regisWHUHG ODVW \HDU $ QRWDEOH GLŕŽ‰HUHQFH in this year’s campaigns was an end WR WKH SRODUL]DWLRQ WKDW GHனQHG SUHvious elections. Slates, if there were any, were very difficult to identify and the whole notion of a left-right divide was severely undermined by a ŕŽ‹XUU\ RI FHQWULVW FDQGLGDWHV DQG RXWsiders. The word around Houghton Street is that the favourites for the sabbatical races are Jay Stoll, Rosie Coleman, Anneessa Mahmood and Hannah Richmond. My take is that a lot of the races will be a lot closer than most expect, with Activities and Development possibly delivering a slight upset with Seb Bruhn’s campaign. Controversy- MP Is anti-Semitism on campus still a big problem? One of tonight’s candidates for Gen-Sec has seemingly put his foot in it. Colleagues at the news team have been talking to Izmir Bajrami, who has been commenting on rival Jay Stoll’s campaign: “Jay’s been pulling the ‘Jew Card’ and if I ZDV D -HZ ,‍ڑ‏G EH RŕŽ‰HQGHG ‍ ڕ‏,W‍ڑ‏V WUXH that Stoll, a former President of the SU’s Jewish Society, did mention his Jewish faith in last Thursday’s election hustings, but to claim he’s been using it as a focus of his campaign is a far-fetched conspiracy theory. On this issue, I’ll have to side with Sam Barnett, President of the Union’s Lib Democrat society, who counts himself as a ‘good friend’ of Izmir’s. According to him, “Izmir’s not a racist, but if he wants to be Gen Sec, he QHHGV WR GR EHWWHU WKDQ WKDW ‍ڕ‏ AU Executive- MP Rowing continues to be a political force on campus - Tom Meaden has been elected to the AU executive. This is an important victory for rowing, but it has wider implications; Meaden promised that he would stop running for elected office if elected, which strikes me as a thoroughly good thing. Elsewhere, the pre-election favourite, Jamie McSherry, was helped to victory, while football’s Jamie Broad has also won through by promising weekly updates on AU teams in the Beaver. Megan Trethewey’s election also represents a victory for minor sports, which is great to see. Democracy Committee- MH The winners are Louis Davies, Ali Issa, Joe Anderson, Rooshan Aziz and Prateek Gupta. If I were any of those னYH , SUREDEO\ ZRXOGQ‍ڑ‏W HYHQ EH FHOebrating. The Democracy Committee has done very little this year to achieve reform to the Union General Meeting and there aren’t any signs that anything will change next year. The Democracy Committee needs to decide what its plan of action is for the year and go about delivering

difficult reforms. Pointless meetings week in, week out don’t help anybody and so I don’t envy Louis, Ali, Joe, Rooshan or Prateek. International Students’ Officer- MH On paper, we were told there would be two candidates in this race but only one really showed up to the start line. Hamza Jawaid, with his slick election photo, took the race incredibly seriously for what was in reality an uncontested election. I think that’s a positive sign, a candidate who takes their election seriously will most likely take the role seriously too. LSE’s student body is predominantly international, and this post is incredibly important. From accommodation to visas, and everything in between, LSE’s international students will need all the support they can get from their Students’ Union. 6R LW‍ڑ‏V EHHQ FRQனUPHG +DP]D KDV ZRQ +H‍ڑ‏V JRW ELJ VKRHV WR னOO after Diana Yu’s exceptional year working on some fantastic events and campaigns. But with an increasingly challenging environment for international students, as witnessed in the London Metropolitan case last year, Hamza has his work cut out and will need to have a strong focus on welfare and immigration issues. Trustee- MP A crushing victory for Musty Kamal in the SU Trustees’ election his promise of cheaper and better food on campus obviously appealed to voters, as he won over twice as many votes at the next-placed candidate. The second place on the trusWHH ERDUG ZDV னOOHG E\ 8*0 &KDLU Joe Anderson, who has promised to revive democracy at the LSE. It seems unlikely that he’ll actually be that successful at increasing UGM attendance, however - most people I talk to have never even considered going. Joe Anderson’s Epic Fail- MH So Joe Anderson, who most of us know as the ___most clued-up person on SU constitutional details can’t be a Trustee and member of the DC simultaneously. I don’t see why there necessarily LV D FRQŕŽ‹LFW RI LQWHUHVW DQG GHPRcratic legitimacy here. In my view, it VKRXOG EH SRVVLEOH WR EH DEOH WR IXOனO both roles in the same year. Anti-Racism Officer- MH Rayhan Uddin was a clear favourite and has won his election with a crushing victory. His campaign reached out to so many students from diverse backgrounds and political tendencies.As the current Anti-Racism Officer, I very much look IRUZDUG WR VHHLQJ 5D\KDQ IXOனO KLV plans next year with the continuation of Black History Month, Islamophobia Awareness Month, Holocaust Memorial Commemorations, Liberation trips, Israeli Apartheid Week and much, much more. Disabled Students Officer-

MH Jade Symonds was a fantastic candidate and her overarching aim to allow disabled students to feel comfortable with who they are is an incredibly commendable objective. She felt the fact her race was uncontested demonstrated that many disabled students don’t feel comfortable expressing that they are disabled. The Disabled Students role in previous years has been incredibly closely coordinated with the School’s welfare services. I personally would like to see a more campaign-orientated approach linking issues important to disabled students with more SUwide and even national campaigns such as austerity cuts and their impact on disabled people. RAG President- MP 7KH னUVW 68 ZLGH 5$* 3UHVLGHQW has been elected in Nona BuckleyIrvine. She managed to beat RON by promising to build links with smaller charity societies and develop a RAG volunteering scheme. Women’s Officer- MP The successor to Alice Stott as Women’s Officer is Imogen Young. She has been criticized by some feminists on campus, having run an inclusive and moderate campaign. However, her argument that gender issues should not be restricted to feminist members obviously appealed to voters. The candidate the Feminist Society endorsed, Sally %RQVDOO னQLVKHG VHFRQG AU President- MP Football has won over rugby in the big sporting clash for AU President. Harold Craston, who campaigned hard outside the AU for the votes of LSE’s less-sporty constituHQWV ZDV HOHFWHG LQ WKH னUVW URXQG of voting. He campaigned for bigger and better entertainment events, improving on-campus sports facilities, and more collaboration with RAG. Hopefully he and Nona BuckOH\ ,UYLQH FDQ FUHDWH DQ HŕŽ‰HFWLYH partnership to foster greater fundraising through sport. Activities and Development 2ૻFHU 0+ :KHQ FDQGLGDWHV ZHUH னUVW DQnounced for A&D Officer, most people felt Hannah Richmond would walk the election fairly comfortably. As the campaigns went on, Seb Bruhn performed strongly and posed a serious threat in potentially causing an upset. Hannah, with her core AU votes, PDQDJHG WR IHQG RŕŽ‰ WKH FRPHEDFN from Seb with his long list of endorsements. In the end, A&D proved a very close election as in previous years, and credit to Hannah for running a catchy campaign with her TFL underground theme and for bringing home a victory for Team Richmond. LGBT Officer- MH Matt White won by a comfortable margin. That was expected. His prominent campaign on Houghton

Street and wide base of support KHOSHG KLP JHW SDVW WKH னQLVK OLQH The most memorable part of his campaign will always be his proclamation that ‘it’s not gay to be gay’, pushing for a zero-tolerance policy on all LGBT discrimination. Fikri Alkhatib ran a fantastic campaign, pushing for more inclusivity in the LGBT alliance. As an international student, Muslim woman and member of the LGBT community, her input will be vital to building bridges between the diverse student communities at the LSE and developing a culture of mutual respect and understanding. Environment and Ethics- MP In a close election for Ethics and Environment Officer, Gabriel Everington took victory over his eco-friendly rivals. He promised to reduce waste in the SU and urged voters to be an angel - vote Gabriel. His catchy slogan obviously did the job with the LSE electorate. Community and Welfare- MP In one of the closest races so far, Anneessa Mahmood took the race for Community and Welfare Officer, edging out Hari Ramakrishnan by only 25 votes. Campaigning on a platform that promised to bring back school spirit, Anneessa also pledged to de-stress exam times, which undoubtedly appealed to fellow students. Her promise to coordinate ‘difficult’ debates on campus is also very welcome. Education- MP Rosie Coleman succeeds Duncan McKenna as Education Officer in one of the most polarizing elections of the night. She beat Jason Wong in WKH னQDO URXQG RI YRWLQJ E\ DOPRVW 300 votes, having campaigned on an apolitical platform to reform LSE 100 and campaign for ‘participatory feedback’. Rosie also promised to Make LSE Rosier by lobbying for summative coursework components in each department. This result was met with extreme relief by many attending the results night in the Quad, with the consensus candidate winning through. General Secretary- MH Jay Stoll was the favourite in this race having run an impressive campaign and winning support from a diverse range of students and societies. Omi Russell was meant to be the strongest candidate running against him, but as we’ve seen Shyam’s experience running Bankside was good preparation for his GenSec ambitions. In the end, Jay won comfortably and has a huge year ahead of him following two year’s of Alex Peters-Day’s leadership of the SU. Jay’s experience as President of the Jewish Society, playing for the AU’s football club and being involved in a number of campaigns and initiatives on campus will serve him well when he takes up his post this summer.

Comment

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

Ben Rogers

11

COLUMBUS

Venezuela: the road to serfdom? :LWK WKH GHDWK RI +XJR &KDYH] VRcialism in South America and indeed the whole world has lost its greatest contemporary leading light. The man was lauded by many for his revoOXWLRQDU\ HŕŽ‰RUWV LQ DGGUHVVLQJ WKH plight of Venezuela’s poor as well as his courageous opposition to the United States and its hegemony over South America, successfully weathHULQJ D &,$ FRXS DWWHPSW LQ &KDYH]‍ڑ‏V GLVWLQFWLYH PDQQHU RI SRSXlar democratic socialism, which allowed him to win no less than four HOHFWLRQV JDLQLQJ SHU FHQW RI WKH SRSXODU YRWH LQ ZDV PXFK DLGed by his bumbling yet charismatic SHUVRQD ZKLFK SXW KLP LQ VWLŕŽ‰ FRPpetition with Slavoj Zizek to be the OHIW‍ڑ‏V UHVSRQVH WR %RULV -RKQVRQ 6R amongst all of the euphoria and deep respect which has greeted the passing away of the far left’s new pin up boy how could anyone possibly criticise the rule and legacy of this all round great guy and man of the people. Indeed, the question that surely must be in every reader’s mind is that having questioned Sean Penn’s pronouncements on the spectre of %ULWLVK LPSHULDOLVP LQ WKH 6RXWK $Wlantic, how can this writer possibly have it within him to further question his judgement by daring to criticise WKH &RORQHO" ,W PLJKW EH ULVN\ EXW ,‍ڑ‏OO give it my best shot. %HIRUH EHJLQQLQJ WR GR VR LW should be noted and freely admitted that there is a lot of unwarrantHG FULWLFLVP RI &KDYH] FLUFXODWHG by news outlets such as Fox News which can and should be dismissed without the danger of making oneself DQ KRQRUDU\ &KDYLVWD +XJR &KDYH] has been democratically elected in

free elections despite accusations of foul play and even though he has ramped up total military expenditure well beyond Venezuela’s strategic QHHGV &KDYH] DW QR SRLQW GXULQJ KLV rule posed any credible threat to the USA. As compared with his friends in Iran, North Korea, Libya and Havana, &KDYH] QHYHU RSHUDWHG D SROLFH VWDWH or an accompanying set of concentraWLRQ FDPSV $QG XQOLNH )LGHO &DVWUR &KDYH]‍ڑ‏V UHJLPH KDV QHYHU EHHQ KHOO bent on persecuting his country’s homosexuals or other minorities. These important admissions aside, however, the fatal conceits of socialism, though concealed behind impressive statistics of poverty reduction, are still a prevalent legDF\ WKDW &KDYH] KDV OHIW 9HQH]XHOD Through sweeping policies of nationalisation and public spending binges, &KDYH] KDV PDGH WKH 9HQH]XHODQ economy even more dependent on oil revenues, produced rampant inŕŽ‹DWLRQ DQG KDV GHVWUR\HG WKH SULYDWH sector and the economic standing of the country’s middle class. Doubling the country’s money supply within WKH ODVW னYH \HDUV WKH FRQVHTXHQW LQŕŽ‹DWLRQ DQG GHYDOXDWLRQV RI WKH %Rlivar have caused the prices of everyday essentials to sky rocket. The price controls that have been put in place to solve this problem, supposedly caused by evil speculators and ‘price gougers’, have unsurprisingly caused shortages and the destruction of economic sectors such as agriculture, as well as a new lease of life for the black market. It is not surprising that the seizure of the assets of private farmers and entrepreneurs has reduced the amount of private investment and hence the productiv-

ity growth of the country and with paper-backed government spending, Venezuela is now a country in which buying a used car is more expensive than purchasing a new one. Venezuela is learning the lesson and reality of Say’s law; that no matter how much you spend and consume, you shall not increase your economic standing unless you save and invest in the productive capacity of your economy. This might well mean that you have to reduce your welfare bills, which although clearly very popular amongst Venezuela’s poorest will guarantee nothing but economic stagnation in WKH ORQJ WHUP &KDYH] DQG KLV SDUW\ have succeeded in redistributing the wealth of the country and everyone’s share of the pie but have failed to make sure that the pie will grow in anything resembling a sustainable manner. &KDYH]‍ڑ‏V IROORZHUV QHHG GHVSHUately to take advantage of the passing of their great leader to switch their country’s economic course to one based on the unequal sharing of wealth and away from their current one which shall only ensure the equal sharing of misery. This is an opportunity for Venezuelans to switch their FRSLHV RI 'DV &DSLWDO IRU /DWLQ $PHUican economist Hernando De Soto’s 7KH 0\VWHU\ RI &DSLWDO KLV LPSRUWDQW ZRUN RQ WKH VLJQLனFDQFH RI SURSHUW\ rights and capital accumulation in wealth creation which has led to the economic success of neighbouring &KLOH (TXDOO\ )ULHGULFK +D\HN‍ڑ‏V 7KH Road to Serfdom would be another useful addition to the reading list of &KDYH]‍ڑ‏V VXFFHVVRUV DV HYHQ WKRXJK Venezuela is not at the moment an authoritarian state the increased

government control of the means of production, the sight of soldiers policing markets to maintain price controls and the all too predictable rise of government corruption and wasteful spending are ominous indicators of what could soon be in store. As Hayek forewarned in his great work, increased government control over economic activities, which LQ WKHLU LQனQLWH FRPSOH[LW\ FDQQRW be successfully administered by any system other than a free market, will either force that government to admit defeat and relinquish their control of production or they will have to acquire more and more power to try and mitigate the mess they are creating. An indication as to which of these two options is currently being taken can be found in aftermath RI WKH ORVV RI WKH &DUDFDV PD\RUDO HOHFWLRQV RI E\ &KDYH]‍ڑ‏V SDUW\ to the country’s opposition coalition. Instead of a peaceful and successful hand over of power the new mayor, Antonio Ledezma, was refused entry WR &LW\ +DOO E\ DUPHG RFFXSLHUV ZKR had also trashed the building, making it unusable for any subsequent occupants. Add to this concerns over the abilLW\ RI WKH RSSRQHQWV RI &KDYH]‍ڑ‏V SDUW\ to exercise their freedom of speech and the popular electoral support WKDW &KDYH]‍ڑ‏V SDUW\ ZLHOGV WKH SROLWLFDO LQனJKWLQJ WKDW PLJKW ZHOO HQsue over his mantle makes it easy to conceive how Venezuela could end up heading further down the road to serfdom. This, although boring to VRPH LV &KDYH]‍ڑ‏V WUXH OHJDF\ DQG XUgently needs to be contended with.

Letter to the Editor: Dear Sir, I was most unimpressed by the tone and scope of last week’s front-page piece, ‘Old tensions resurface in Israeli Apartheid Week’. The title might well have been more appropriately run as ‘An Uneventful Truth’ since there was no news to report; just peaceful, respectful, student-initiated awareness campaigns on some hard global problems. Instead of focusing on the tough questions being raised by the peaceful ‘wall protest’ put on by the Palestine Society or the call for peace talks by the Israel Society’s ‘Abraham’s tent’, your piece seemed more intent on covering campus gossip and ivory tower intrigue. ,W VKRXOG FRPH DV QR VXUSULVH WKDW WKH ,VUDHO 6RFLHW\ னQGV WKH 6WXGHQW 8Qion’s institutionalization and administrative support of the term “apartheidâ€? a disturbing perversion of the facts and a provocatively simplistic word-choice WKDW LV QRW EHனWWLQJ DQ\ DFDGHPLF FRPPXQLW\ 6LPLODUO\ QRU VKRXOG LW FRPH DV a shock that the Palestine Society wanted to provoke greater interest in the plight of the Palestinian people, a population we should all do more to help. 7KDW VDLG SXEOLVKLQJ XQTXDOLனHG DOOHJDWLRQV WKDW WKH &RPPXQLW\ 6HFXULW\ Trust is somehow linked to an Israeli espionage apparatus without so much as a simple fact check represents a ridiculous lack of journalistic integrity. The &67 LV D FKDULW\ RUJDQL]HG WR HQVXUH WKH VDIHW\ DQG VHFXULW\ RI %ULWDLQ‍ڑ‏V -HZLVK

&RPPXQLW\ The direct talks held with the Palestine Society in advance of the week under the auspices of the LSE Students’ Union, administration, and anti-racism office were not simply an exercise in trying to convince the Israel Society to disregard well-documented trends of Israel-hate spilling over into antisemitism, as was claimed. Rather, it was an unprecedented meeting of representatives from the Palestine Society and Israel Society who wanted to prepare and ensure that each side was given a fair and respectful opportunity to raise awareness. I am a proud of what our school community was able to achieve last week, and thank the leadership and members of both societies for working together. Encouragingly, joint programming is also being discussed for the future. The personal and intellectual relationships being forged at schools like the London School of Economics, I am convinced, will one day translate into steps towards real peace in the Middle East. Any editorial or news coverage that seeks to undermine that should count itself as a sensationalist part of the problem. For the record, I’ve never much cared for news sources that bear animal names. Yours Sincerely, &DUO /RRI ([HFXWLYH 2ŕŽŒFHU RI WKH ,VUDHO 6RFLHW\

If you would like to send a Letter to the Editor, please email comment@thebeaveronline.co.uk

12

Comment

12.03.2013

| The Beaver

Government by the rich for the rich

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The Beaver 12.03.2013

13

B

PARTB

14

12.03.2013 PartB

B.TWEEN THE LINES PartB

JOSH JINRUANG JANIE TAN

WOMEN WRITING HISTORY

this: does it really matter anymore? The past is not the present, and is there any modern relevance to Austen’s words? The next speaker answered, "Yes!" Kate Mosse, the creator of the Women’s Prize for Fiction narrated the story of the award’s conception. The 1991 Man Booker Prize shortlist was released, and the media pounced on the fact that not a single woman was on it. Art should be above gender, so the judges considered the six books that were supposedly the ‘best’ books of the year. When it was pointed out that there were no women, there was genuine surprise on their part. Does it really matter that there were no women on this list? According to Mosse: absolutely. The books, which were supposedly the crème de la crème of the literary world, were not representative of all

Is the arts still male-dominated?

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Fashion

LSESU FASHION SOCIETY fashion@thebeaveronline.co.uk

Film

KOKO OWUSU

ஊ OP#WKHEHDYHURQOLQH FR XN

Food

LAURA RANDLE

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Literature

RACHEL WILLIAMS

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Music

TOM BARNES EMIR NADER

PXVLF#WKHEHDYHURQOLQH FR XN

Private B

GINGER WHOREBY

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Technology MIKE PEARSON

MOLLY CRABAPPLE

technology@thebeaveronline.co.uk

Theatre

LAURENCE VARDAXOGLOU

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Video Games

PHILIP GALLAGHER

YLGHRJDPHV#WKHEHDYHURQOLQH FR XN

Visual Arts ERIKA ARNOLD

visualarts@thebeaveronline.co.uk

Cover Art

BY FingerpaintIt

B.

Molly Crabapple, one of the event's lectureres, photographed by Steve Prue in front of her artwork

“Men have every advantage of us in telling their story. Education has been theirs in so much higher a degree; the pen has been in their hands.” — Persuasion, Jane Austen

I

will be the first to admit my scepticism for genderrelated discussions in any context. Call it naiveté, or a lack of understanding and experience of the uphill struggle that women are still facing; but I have always been of the opinion that calling attention to gender, and establishing women as women rather than individuals, is somewhat counter-productive. The ‘Women Writing History’ talk as part of LSE’s Literary Festival 2013, though not ridding me of my scepticism, did force me to question some of these notions. Using Mary Wollstonecraft’s biting comment—'my own sex, I hope, will excuse me, if I treat them like rational creatures'—from her 1782 treatise A Vindication of the Rights of Woman as a starting point, artist Molly Crabapple criticised the double standards challenging women’s representation in art. When men paint themselves, it's an expression of the human experience, but when women do, they're narcissistic ‘selfies’. When men write autobiographies, they are insightful revelations of necessary realities, but wom-

en’s autobiographies are far too personal. There is a sense of truth to her words, as experience suggests that women’s art is judged by a much more critical eye than men’s. Women’s art is the victim of a long history of male perceptions of what art is. Then it got to the good stuff. A powerful passage from Jane Austen’s novel Persuasion launched into a fascinating examination of the hidden undercurrents in her writing. One interpretation of the heroine Anne Elliott’s resigned declaration that the pen has always been in the hands of men is that it verbalised the dominance of men in fiction; however, the lecturer points out that perhaps the passage was meant to be read ironically. After all, Austen knew perfectly well that the pen was in her own hands. The novelist was, in fact, known for a strong sense of passionate ownership over her writing, as seen from the fact that the female charaters often possess rich imagination and engage in literary activity. The notion that men own fiction according to Anne’s words was intended to be criticised and challenged. Instead, Austen seems to suggest that women need to fight their way into the literary canon and liberate themselves from male confines on writing. My only niggling point of query was

"if the best way to promote oge]f k [j]Y% tivity is to have a prize just for women, is it not ajgfa[ l`Yl l`] [gfl]f\]jk Yj] first seen as women, rather than artists?"

books published, and on top of that, it’s a fact that prizes sell books. If a book doesn’t sell well, it won’t be on the shelves in six months, and readers are deprived of potentially great works. Mosse’s

solution was to create a prize where the only criterion was that the candidates had to be women. Now, there’s an inherent contradiction in this: if the best way to promote women’s creativity is to have a prize just for women, is it not ironic that the contenders are first seen as women, rather than artists? The prize has been attacked as sexist and discriminatory, and Germaine Greer scathingly commented that there will soon be a prize for “writers with red hair”. A.S. Byatt vehemently agreed, claiming that this prize was never needed. The general opposition can be summed up in a line: if women were any good, they would have won the Booker Prize. Mosse contends that this is naiveté at its peak. Women are still fighting their way into the canon, because in the words of Anne Elliot, “Men have had every advantage of us in telling their story”. We need the prize because we should always celebrate the best in art, wherever we find it. A canon of exceptional writing by women needs to be set up in a context where women are still mostly depicted, by the media in particular, as victims or wives or mothers, instead of individuals in their own right. Women are given the opportunity to be celebrated as novelists, artists and wonderful positive role-models. Now, it’s up to you whether you agree with Mosse. Are women still struggling to be heard against a formidable history of male dominance in art? Or is the supposed oppression of the female voice vastly overblown? I confess, I’m still not quite sure.

Malvika Jaganmohan

15

LSEX

Josh Ellman's manifesto: I promise better sex for all!

A

fter a recent one night stand, I was complaining to my friend Alec that I hadn’t heard from my rompbuddy since our roll in the hay. The sex had been good, and it seemed logical to me that a satisfying no strings attached (NSA) would be appealing on a regular, rather than just a one-time basis. We chatted about gay men’s relationships versus one-night stands, the availability of options on Grindr and the overwhelming effort required to compose an effortless-sounding text before I finally popped the question that was really bugging me. Maybe the sex wasn’t as good for him as it was for me. Maybe what I thought was good sex wasn’t good at all. Maybe I was like that one kid at drama camp that tries so hard that none of the counselors have the heart to tell him he delivers all of his lines as if he were reading the back of a cereal box. Then I really started to panic: Maybe every single person I’ve ever slept with had formed a “Survivors of Sex with Josh Ellman” support group where they sat around in a circle and recounted their traumatic experience. “Did he ever try to touch you here?” I imagined that-Swedish-guyI-went- ho m e- w hen - I - wa s really-vulnerable-becauseDesperate-Housewives-hadjust-been-cancelled saying, prompting the roomful of my former conquests to tearfully nod in recognition. That thought was a bit overwhelming. I started to wonder: why don’t I have more concrete information about my sexual prowess (or lack thereof)? In almost every other aspect of life, I am regularly offered feedback on my abilities, often without provocation or discretion. At LSE, we are judged on our intelligence, capacity for logic, and relative volume of work able to be accomplished in one night while on Adderall. Friends regularly volunteer opinions on our humor, empathy and the accuracy of our Taylor Swift impressions. But our sexual partners, aside from occassional terse declarations like “That was great” or “Don’t put that there”, are comparatively mute. We all suffer from the effects of sexual silence. We’re left without an accurate sense of where their strengths lie, which areas require improvement and which behaviors, like baby talk, need to be deleted from the sexual lexicon completely. Most importantly, prospective partners have no way of previewing potential problems. I once dated a guy who, instead of kissing, insisted on pressing our open

mouths together and passing our used breath back and forth. Frankly, his future bedmates deserve to know that he is an overly enthusiastic proponent of the green movement. Thus, I believe it is time to institute a sexual feedback form. Maybe it could take the form of a sexual report card, where, after every boot that gets knocked, participants subsequently assess each other on a range of behaviors and capabilities. Blowjob: Distinction. Creativity: High Merit. Flexibility: Low Pass. In essence, quick and dirty feedback on your quick-anddirties. We can finally start to identify problem areas and address them with some hard work and determination. We can even compare notes and seek tutelage when necessary. Imagine: “Hey Billy, I’ve really got to get my neck-kissing grades up. Would you mind coming to mine and helping me study?” Win-win. Better yet, it could take the form of a voluntary guest book, the kind that Bed & Breakfasts tend to have. That way, individuals wishing to express gratitude or disdain could leave helpful reflections for future visitors. “Homey and spacious. Definitely recommend” or “Promising foreplay, but intercourse merely average. Will be back, but mainly due to convenience of location.” People can even leave helpful hints: “Watersports tolerated, but not encouraged” or “Best if used after midnight.” This way, we can all provide informed consent, rather than setting ourselves up for shock when our trick busts out the bondage. Imagine the revolutionary possibilities on dating sites like OKCupid and hook up apps like Grindr. Rather than wasting precious time with tedious tip-toes about “what kind of things you’re into?”, you can simply swap sexual report cards and immediately get a sense of both what you’re going to get and how good you’re going to get it. I know what you’re thinking. Am I worried about sexual elitism, wherein low scorers are ostracised and high sexual achievers obnoxiously find a way to work in their stellar grades into every conversation, like bankers do with their salaries and losers do with their SAT scores? I am. But no system is perfect; I will continue to dream of a society in which those with sexual deficits are given the resources they need to grow and shameless self-promoters are automatically banished to the depths of hell. The sexual feedback system is ideal: it combines our desire to learn and grow with the inborn human desire to judge. Most of us will develop into sexually satisfying machines capable of inducing orgasm with minimal effort. And maybe then this guy will call me back.

PartB'S THEATRE PICK

Judas Kiss (at Duke of York's Theatre until 6 Apr 2013) Old Times (at Harold Pinter Theatre until 6 Apr 2013)

BROKEN

In Cinemas now Director Rufus Norris Writer Mark O'Rowe Starring Eloise Laurence, Tim Roth, Cillian Murphy, Rory Kinnear, Zana Marjanovic, Robert Emms Run time 91 minutes

R

ufus Norris’ versatility has already been recognised with a scoop of nominations and awards for his first feature film Broken, including ‘Best Film of 2012’ at the British Independent Film awards. Based on Daniel Clay's 2008 novel of the same name, the film is set in a cosy suburban cul-de-sac, home to three very different families. The complicated story of their dysfunctional lives unravels through the eyes of Skunk (Eloise Laurence), a young girl with an old soul who intends to enjoy the long summer holidays before the start of secondary school. It all starts with a lie. The opening scene sees the foulmouthed, red headed, Susan Oswald (Rosalie Kosky-Hensman) tell her father that she had sex with the shy inoffensive Rick Buckley (Robert Emms) who lives across the road. Fuelled by protective anger, her father Bob Oswald (Rory Kinnear) viciously attacks Rick—an event that marsks the beginning of the end of Skunk's innocence. Rick him-

self hardly fares much better. Swiftly arrested and instiutionalised, the unfortunate man finds his life brutally turned upside down. . The film is highly adept at exploring the rippling effects that such a socially disruptive event produces. Distraight, Rick's mother falls into depressive downward spiral, a mental state that greatly affects the relationship with her husband. The summer days flitter on by; at home Skunk is contending with an unconventional love triangle. With her father Archie’s (Tim Roth) blossoming relationship with her Nanny Kasia (Zana Marjanovic), Skunk’s soon-to-be teacher, Mike Kiernan (Cillian Murphy) is left on the sidelines. But, in the daytime, whilst Dad is busy working, Skunk passes her time with brother Jed (Bill Milner) as well as their newfound gypsy friend and later Skunk’s boyfriend Dillion (George Sargeant). They roam around the junkyard behind the cul-de-sac, finding a haven amongst the broken unwanted cars and junk left behind. Soon September arrives and school begins. Skunk, whilst delighted with the appointment of Mr Kiernan as her schoolteacher, suffers at the hands of the Oswold Sisters—the resident school bullies. These sisters, tormenters at school, epitomise the broken message of Clay’s original tale. As school term progresses, the knotting of the plot's central themes intensifies. The audience is lost in a sea of dysfunctionality and despair, amongst fishes of love, vio-

lence, betrayal, family, growing up and mental health. Yet, at the same time, happiness and laughs are found in the simplest of things. Broken remains effortlessly humorous, so much so that it would be easy to forget to give credit to the gentle witty laughs that line the film. Gentle too is the use of symbols; sunflowers, perhaps quietly symbolic of vitality and happiness, are a reminder that Norris is a purveyor of the small things. Norris’ execution and Eloise Laurence’s notable performance really shine through in the darkest of moments. Her stage relationship with Tim Roth is believable and easy to relate to. The cast are complimented with impeccable detail of set design and cinematographic excellence. Broken is beautifully shot, from the vivid violent scenes, to the moments of intimate playfulness, to big panoramic shots of the junkyard playground. Damon Albarn's film scores have a similar sound and feel to Gorrilaz’ ‘Plastic Beach’. However, Norris overreliance on them lessens the emotional impact. While this film lives up to expectations in many a sense, it is ironic that the deeper the film moves into its plot, the more it loses its subtlety. It becomes less metaphorical, almost to the degree of tactlessness. This negative correlation is also evident in the presentaion of family dynamic, which turns less and less convincing as the film goes by. The result therefore is a little inefficacious; a lasting impression but nothing we haven't really seen before.

Kirsty Kenney

WILD BUNCH

The Beaver 12.03.2013

16

12.03.2013 PartB

FACEBOOK CHANGES AGAIN... CUE ANGRY MOB

Facebook is changing it's News Feed to bring it more in line with mobile devices. But why?

F

FACEBOOK.COM

acebook is changing. That’s a statement that will inevitably rattle the social media cage, which contains Facebook users' best friend: familiarity. Facebook’s News Feed is to undergo an aesthetic overhaul, becoming cleaner and more streamlined. The aim of the redesigned news feed is to say “goodbye to clutter” and for your feed to “burst with colour”—which means bigger pictures. Although this will make your Ibiza 2013 photos stand out on your friends’ feeds, it also means promoted posts and adverts will ‘burst with colour’ as well. Facebook are dropping their name from the top left hand corner and replacing it with ‘f’. They are also removing the far left column and replacing it with a “popout bar” which contains links to chat, calendar and groups amongst other features. Another new feature is to select a news feed from different categories such as photos, music, games and most recent, amongst others. The changes are part of an attempt by the social network circle to standardise their look across all platforms: mobile, tablet and web. However, with change comes the inevitable backlash from users. After Facebook’s last major revamp in late 2011 with Timeline, users responded negatively to having their beloved wall torn down. A survey found that 51 per cent of users

were worried about Timeline with only eight per cent saying they would get used to it,

new standard format simply becomes the standard format. Besides, if users hated

only a month after the launch. With over a year gone since the Timeline launch, users have become accustomed to the changes. Drastic change upsets the equilibrium. However, familiarity breeds normality, and after users become used to change, the

a new format, they can, of course, leave Facebook. However, Facebook knows this is extremely unlikely to happen. Leaving the world’s leading social network site with over 1bn people connected after having invested years into the service over format chang-

"Drastic change upsets the equilibrium. However, familiarity breeds normality, the new standard format becomes the standard format"

TECH NEWS IN BRIEF Tripod, mobi, telepod..iphone!

COULD PORNOGRAPHY REALLY BE BANNED?

T

T

TOP 5 APPS EMAIL OF THE US IF YOU'D LIKE WEEK TO WRITE FOR TECH:

TECHNOLOGY@ THEBEAVERONLINE.CO.UK

he European Parliament is to vote this week on banning all forms of pornography. The proposal covers “any form of pornography in the media” including the “digital field”, which will cover the Internet. The proposal arises out of a report entitled “Eliminating gender stereotypes in the EU”. Critics are arguing that a ban would infringe civil liberties.

A

survey by Mobileinsurance.co.uk revealed that owners of smartphones spend 23 days a year on their portable devices; that's nearly 4 years during your lifetime! The average use is a staggering 90 minutes each day spent staring at a smartphone

YUICHIROCK

he Tripod 5. Just doesn’t sound right, does it? Tripod, Mobi and Telepod were names considered for what has now become the iPhone. Ken Segall, the former head of advertising at Apple, revealed some of the potential names Apple had been musing over for their phone. The etymology of tripod came from the combination of a phone, iPod and Internet access whereas mobi is simply a shortened version of mobile. Would you look forward to a Mobi 6?

23 DAYS!

1.PHOTOPOLL

Platform: iOS - Free

Take photos from your smartphone and let your friends or public vote for the best photos. Ask questions with the photos and check out everyone else's photos!

2. WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Platform: Android - Free

Another photo-based app centred around sharing: Wikimedia Commons lets you contribute to the largest common pool of images on the

es makes very little sense. So why did Facebook feel the need to redesign the most integral part of their user experience? To provide a better user experience? That’s certainly part of it. Keeping the user interface fresh and uncluttered will go a long way in ensuring Facebook doesn’t lose users to competitors such as Google+. However, the move may be partially driven by Facebook’s need to improve advertising revenues. Whilst it’s revenue from mobile ad sales continue to improve, a drop in profit and a decline in the stock markets mean that Mr. Zuckerberg’s firm must inno-

AG HOLDER DEFENDS PROSECUTION OF SWARTZ

U

S Attorney General, Eric Holder, defended the prosecution in the case of Aaron Swartz, founder of Infogami which eventually merged with social news site, Reddit. Aaron Swartz committed suicide earlier this year after being charged with thirteen crimes related to downloading over 4 million articles from JSTOR, computer fraud and wire fraud. Swartz faced a fine up to $1 million and up to a 35 year jail sentence. Holder stated in a Senate Judiciary Committee hear-

internet. Turn on geo-tagging and it'll make your life easier by automatically assigning a GPS tag.

3. APP HERO

Platform: Android—£0.64

Following on from last week where we had another app about apps, App Hero gives you personal recomendations for apps you'd like based on your Facebook and Twitter feeds.

vate and find ways to boost their business performance. Greenlight, a digital marketing agency, have noted that the reformatting of the news feed is aimed at replicating Facebook’s commercial success on the mobile plaform on the web platform as well. “The redesign mirrors Facebook's successful format of advertising in newsfeeds on mobile. In January, Facebook revealed its mobile ad sales had more than doubled on the previous quarter to total $306m, to account for 23 per cent of the Social network's overall ad revenues,” said COO of Greenlight, Andreas Pouros Pouros continued, “Facebook has taken the success of advertising in people's newsfeeds on mobile and based its news feed redesign on mirroring that format (or close to it) on all devices — this should boost revenue.” Whether Facebook users’ reaction to the news feed redesign is more welcoming than that of Timeline is yet to be seen. However, we can expect the same cycle: backlash, sentimentality for the old, apathy for the new, and then familiarity— that is, until the next change.

² Mike Pearson

ing that "there was never an intention for him to go to jail for longer than a three, four, potentially five-month range". Holder also added that, "That was what the government said specifically to Mr. Swartz." Referring to the disparity between the official potential sentence and what Mr. Holder says was offered, Mr. Holder said, "I think that’s a good use of prosecutorial discretion to look at the conduct, regardless of what the statutory maximums were and to fashion a sentence that was consistent with what the nature of the conduct was."

4. THE SMILER

Platform: iOS/Android—Free

Promo-ing a new ride at Alton Towers later this year, The Smiler is a great rollercoaster game where you control the cars and upgrade your rollercoaster step-by-step.

5. DRINKCOACH Platform: iOS - £1.49

An app that helps you keep track of your alcohol consumption. The app encourages you to record your cravings and make notes to yourself.

17

The Beaver 12.03.2013

TRINE

COMPETITION!

SOUND WAVE FESTIVAL 2013 SOUNDWAVECROATIA.COM

T

he Beaver is offering you the chance to win a pair of tickets to Soundwave Festival 2013 this July, set in the beatiful site of Tinso, Croatia. Dubbed as "one of Europe's biggest parties", this exclusive opporunity is not one to be missed. This year's lineup include incredible acts such as Bonobo, Robert Glasper, Submotion Orchestra, Quantic, Elphino, Mt. Wolf, `Doom and Alice Russell. Nestling up to the crystal waters of the Adriatic Sea, the combination of amazing music and a stunning scenery makes Soundwave the perfect summer getaway. Be sure to check out the Soundwave 2013 teaser trailer on YouTube! As well as the festival tickets, we're also offering a second-place prize of a pair of tickets to the Soundwave London Launch Party on May 26th at XOYO. Featuring Nin-

ja Tune and Tempo Clash, it's sure to be a big night. To have a chance at winning these amazing prizes just email music@thebeaveronline.co.uk with the subject title 'Soundwave Festival 2013 Competition', your name, university, contactable email address and phone number. Please check the terms and conditions below and the Soundwave website for more information. Good luck! T's & C's: The festival is on 18th-22nd July. Soundwave ticket offer does not include flights, accomodation or transfers. The competition is open to university students including non-LSE students. Only one entry per person. The competition closes on the 19th of March. For more information, check out: www. soundwavecroatia.com.

TRINE THE GAME.COM

WIN TICKETS TO

A

the knight, a certified badass you’ll soon appreciate for his dislike of skeletal minions. The 3 members of your team are united by the mystical ‘Trine’—an artefact which binds their souls together so that they are only capable of inhabiting one form at a time. Thankfully, this also means that they can be revived at the various checkpoints scattered throughout the kingdom, as explained by Amadeus after I died few hundred times. By switching between them, you navigate the paths before you with a mix of magic, acrobatics and strength. The world of Trine follows a standard fantasy storyline that involves 3 artefacts that can ensure peace in the kingdom. Prior to the start of the game, darkness befalls the land, and the quest revolves around not only undoing the magic binding the characters, but finding the artefacts and restoring the kingdom to its former splendour. The game plays well, and allows a large degree of innovation in puzzle solving. The most adept adventurers will also find a myriad of useful items with capabilities that range from increasing your health to allowing you to breathe underwater. This goes for character specific upgrades as well: with time, the

s any genuine 90s kid will tell you, the most prominent memory I have is the bigger kids getting all the cool stuff. My big sister got Transformers, Captain Planet and an excuse to wear fluorescent clothing, whilst the teenager across the street from me got something that was a new and exciting concept to me: video games. I feel a lot of nostalgia for those times. One game in particular that I remember is Pandemonium, a side scroller originally released for the Playstation and developed by San Francisco’s ‘Crystal Dynamics’. Sadly, it has since become another forgotten title, like Gex or Biker Mice from Mars, and like them, I’m left with a deep sense of almost sensual longing for what I never really got to experience as a small child. That was partially what led me to Trine, a puzzle-solving side scroller in the same tradition as Pandemonium, and more importantly, old enough for me to run on my laptop. Trine is a 2D perspective game with 3D background graphics. You play 3 characters in the course of the game: Amadeus, a sesame-street style wizard that is only capable of summoning shapes, Zoya, a thief most notorious for stealing her dress sense from Assassin’s Creed, and Pontius

Knight will be able to crush obstacles with his hammer, and the Wizard will be able to conjure floating platforms. The only real criticism I have of the game is that it’s ultimately very short. I finished it in less than a day; even its post-game ‘challenge’ level failed to give me much trouble. Oh, what I would’ve given for more levels to try my skills on! It really is the kind of skills-based game that leaves you wanting to keep testing yourself, like Prince of Persia. Weirdly, the experience left me wanting to play Pandemonium more than Trine 2. I know Trine 2 can give more of the fun game play I’ve experienced, but Pandemonium has a similar experience, and a larger collection of levels besides. Trine is by no means a bad game. In fact, I’d easily give it an 8/10, and you’ll definitely be left wanting the DLC. It’s just that I remember getting to experience this kind of fun in console releases; games which used simple concepts and applied their time to creative, unique and challenging levels. It shows what creativity can accomplish for games when applied to the lesser-known genres. ¦ Philip Gallagher

DMZ 8TH BIRTHDAY great suffolk street S

ince their first appearance on Radio 1 by John Peel in 2003, Digital Mystikz have been leading the way as pioneers of dubstep. From their roots in the South London garage and jungle scene, Mala and Coki, aka Digital Mystikz, built up an underground following, and, alongside Loe-

fah created the DMZ label in 2005. Later, contemporaries such as Skream took the movement onto the world stage. Despite the dynamic and everchanging nature of dance music, Friday night showed that dubstep, in its early raw form, still has a lot to offer for those in search of a great night out.

Great Suffolk Street Warehouse in Southwark was the venue of choice for DMZ’s 8th birthday, an upgrade in terms of both capacity and volume from previous locations. The massive arches, the three thousand people and the monstrous 64,000watt, RC1 sound system pro-

ASHES75/ASHES TO DUST

vided the perfect mix to what would be an incredible night. As you enter what is by day a car park, the sound from Room 1 hits you with the classic old school dubstep sound from artists that have been on the DMZ birthday bill from early bashes—Kode9, Chef, and the headliners Loefah and Digital Mystikz. All the big hits were dropped including ‘AntiWar Dub’, ‘Midnight Request Line’ and ‘The Goat Stare’. Tracks of this ilk fully utilised the sound system even though the full force of the bass was only deployed for a serious drop. The crowd were a faithful and knowledgeable bunch, and greeted even the lesser-known DMZ imprints with ecstasy. The second room provided a cocktail of electronic music styles, from jungle to tech house. The contrast added a different dimension to the night, at times a more mellow sound, which gave you a rest from the chronic bass of Room One. Headlining the room, Zed Bias played a mixture of tracks, illustrating a development shared by fellow DJ’s present on the night, and his 2000 hit ‘Neigbourhood’ went off like Rihanna at Zoo Bar. Perhaps the overall highlight of the night was the unannounced appearance of

Skream, who had previously denied he would be playing. He was greeted by a shocked and overwhelmed crowd, and proceeded to play what could only be described as the set of the night. Skream did what we didn’t think would be possible—he turned the volume up. We were lucky to witness a set filled with old school classics; Skream later revealed on Twitter, “that kind of set is going to be very rare now”. It’s hard to convey the overwhelming atmosphere on paper; DMZ’s birthdays are not just another club night. The vibe was intense, the sense of family was strong, from mere eye contact and a cheeky nod, to a dance or a deep conversation with your fellow brother or sister, it was special. At 6.45am when the lights went up we were revelling in the event that we had just experienced, and were craving more. Although many dubstep artists and DMZ fans have moved onto different styles of dance music, the DMZ 8th birthday showed that once a year, bass junkies can get back together and relive the old times. In the words of DMZ, “Come meditate on bass weight.”

Ɖ Milan Neergheen

18

12.03.2013 PartB

DESIGNING FUNCTIONAL BEAUTYFURNITURE

VICTORIA & ALBERT MUSEUM

but also understand how it was made. The exhibition's focus on function, form and technique of construction will allow you to gain fresh insights into a (probably) thus far unexplored field. Various furniture design techniques, such as upholstery, carving, cladding,

Club chair, model B3; Wassily

marquetry, mounting and japanning are expertly presented and explained. (Don't despair if none of these ring a bell. Yet.) I was particularly impressed by the skilful technique of Boulle Marquetry that is predomi-

VICTORIA & ALBERT MUSEUM

explored at the V&A Furniture gallery. The large display room offers a remarkable collection of more than 200 iconic design objects that allow viewers to not only to appreciate distinct aesthetics of a particular piece,

Fractal Table II, Platform

nantly associated with 17th and 18th century cabinet making. It involves the us-

here, including my personal favourite, a precious Chippendale corner cup-

What's on at the

Victoria & Albert Museum

Permanent Collection

VICTORIA & ALBERT MUSEUM

F

urniture is a part of our daily lives. Furniture can be beautiful. Furniture tells a story. Tracing the history of furniture design can tell us much about changes in production, technology, taste and cultural yearnings. True miracles of craftsmanship may currently be

Corner cupboard, chippendale

age of thin layers of differently coloured and patterned woods, bones, shells or metals to create spectacular decorations and ornaments. CAD-CAM (computer-aided design; computer-aided manufacturing) and other modern techniques of production are also explored. The Fractal Table's design, for example, is based on mathematical algorithms and is made using a digital 3-D printing process controlled by a computer. It is absolutely bizarre to watch a table “pop” into existence— I am still rather puzzled. The fact that nothing is stuck behind glass in this exhibition makes the experience even more interactive and exciting. Chairs, tables, bureaus, stools, chests, cabinets and wardrobes can be admired from close-up. You will find yourself only centimetres away from Carlo Mollino's celebrated 'Arabesque' table (1949), Tom Dixon's famous 80s 'S' chair, Charles and Ray Eames' popular ESU 421-C storage unit (1949—50) and Marcel Breuer's legendary B3 Club armchair (1925—6). Many more could be listed

board from about 1768-78. Touch screens elaborate on the individual story of each piece, while videos and audio descriptions guide the viewer through the forest of displayed furniture that includes mainly European and American design masterpieces from 1400 until today. Stroll around the gallery on a Sunday afternoon, fantasise about decorating your future home and enjoy some creative genius. Furniture from past centuries can tell us much about our human artistic legacy! To all fellow furniture fanatics and design lovers, you will find it hard to leave.

1

Katerine Niedinger

Victoria & Albert Museum Dr Susan Weber Gallery Opening times: 10AM to 5.45PM daily, 10AM to 10PM Fridays

The V&A hosts the world's largest collection of decorative arts and design totalling more than 4.5 million objects in 145 galleries. Its entire repertoire spans 5,000 years of art, from ancient times to the present day, and from cultures of Europe, North America, Asia and North Africa. The holdings of ceramics, glass, textiles, costumes, silver, ironwork, jewellery, furniture, medieval objects, sculpture, prints and printmaking, drawings and photographs are among the largest and most comprehensive in the world.

Current Exhibitions Light from the Middle East The exhibition presents works by artists from across the Middle East living in the region and in diaspora.It explores the ways in which these artists investigate the language and techniques of photography. The works range from documentary photographs and highly staged tableaux to images manipulated beyond recognition. The variety of approaches is appropriate to the complexities of a vast and diverse region.

Treasures of the Royal Courts From royal portraits, costumes and jewellery to armour and heraldry, Treasures of the Royal Courts tells the story of diplomacy between the British Monarchy and the Russian Tsars through more than PDJQLஊFHQW REMHFWV RI Anglo-Russian exchange.

19

The Beaver 12.03.2013

ROYAL CHINA HOUSE T

here are few things that one can rely on in life, but the ubiquity of Chinese restaurants and takeaways in the UK is one of them. The Brits have long had a love affair with Chinese cuisine and the choices for dining in London are diverse. For those who will happily dive into fluorescent sweet-and-sour chicken from any corner shop, this overwhelming choice is not a problem but a paradise. Yet for the more discerning diner, the variety can seem impossible to navigate. Please do not panic. To avoid these greasy pitfalls, begin your gastronomic journey at Royal China. We visited Baker Street, the largest restaurant in the Royal China group that owns six restaurants across London. The insides are nothing spectacular— the usual circular tables crammed into a large room with the usual ostentatious décor, with splashes of red and gold. There’s not much to distinguish it from any run-of-the-mill Chinese restaurant. That is, until you see the menu. A devoted foodie will be pleased to note two things: Firstly, there’s a good choice selection, but not too much to be overwhelming: sauces vary depending on the meat or fish and there is no indiscriminate splattering of black bean sauce across any source of protein, which strongly suggests that some thought had gone into the menu. Secondly, the dishes are priced above that of the aforementioned restaurants of dubious integrity (though, very fortunately, they are not beyond the means of students.) For starters, we sampled the Baked Pork Chop with Mandarin Sauce (£7.80), which was easily large enough to be eaten as a main. The sauce was thick and sweet as expected, but satisfyingly enough, never cloying. Inevitably, the dish disappeared rapidly and with great gusto. For mains, my co-diner ordered the Steamed Chicken (half) with Mushroom and Chinese Sausage (£12.80). This was a misleading description that conjured a vision of half a bird with tender meat ready to be pulled off the bones. Instead, chunks of chicken arrived on a large leaf. Disappointment aside, the sauce itself was light and tangy—a refreshing contrast to our starter—but it didn’t compliment the Chinese sausages. Nevertheless, the flavours grew over time and thus became enjoyable. We also ordered a side of

Sautéed Pak Choi with Garlic (£8.80). Pak Choi (also known as the Chinese Cabbage) can be incredibly delicious if cooked so as to balance their bitterness with the right amount of saltiness or sweetness. Sadly, the ones we sampled were underwhelming and forgettable, and rather overpriced. Our meal was also let down by the Egg Fried Rice (£3.20), which was unremarkable, but provided an adequate base for our dishes. It was my main course that truly was the pièce de résistance: Braised Beef with Chillies from the Chef ’s Specials menu: served bubbling in a pot above a flame. At around £16, this dish was not cheap but it was worth every last meaty mouthful. The beef was fatty but tender and succulent, and expertly braised in a salty, moreish sauce. The spices were perfect—the chillies provided a slow-burning warmth and the aniseed mildly provoked the tongue but didn’t overwhelm the other flavours. The dish reminded me of some of the food I sampled in Taiwan, and whilst I can’t claim to be an expert on authenticity, I though this dish was pretty close to the target. Unable to stop there, we tucked into the Black Sesame Paste in Peanut Crumbs (£5.00). This consisted of three slightly chewy, glutinous rice cakes; filled with a smooth, warm sesame sauce. For those unfamiliar with Asian-style desserts, this undoubtedly sounds a little strange, but it is really worth trying for its mild sweetness and subtle flavours. Our enjoyment of the dining experience was only diminished by the unreliable service. Some waiters and waitresses were very attentive and helpful in describing the particulars of dishes, yet others seemed to deliberately ignore us or only spoke limited English. Due to this, my main was missing in action for 45 minutes despite my frequent requests. Whilst the service could be improved and some dishes fell short of expectations, the overall food quality could not be denied. Royal China isn’t China, but it deserves recognition for some royally good meat dishes and sauces that will make you want to lick your plate clean in a very un-royal manner indeed.

Æ Phoebe Amoroso

24-26 Baker W1U 7AB 020 7487 4688 Hours Mon-Thurs 12 -11pm, Fri-Sat 1211:30pm. Sun 11-10PM Dim Sum served from 12-5PM daily Cuisine Chinese Average spend £40-70 for two with drinks Reservations Yes ABOVE sizzling Braised Beef with Chillies

GAIL'S KITCHEN

11-13 Bayley Street Bedford Square London WC1B 3HD 020 7323 9694 Hours Mon-Sat 7 -11:30PM, Fri-Sat 1211:30, Sun 7-10PM Cuisine Artisan Average spend £30-50 for two with drinks Reservations Yes

G

ail's is not new to London. Their bakeries, across our fair city, have been around since 2010 and are well-loved by local residents. As a former local

resident of the Exmouth Market bakery, I can confirm it's the perfect place for a Saturday brunch or Sunday morning coffee. At the end of last year, the venture expanded with its first restaurant: Gail's Kitchen in Bloomsbury. Depending on which way you arrive at it, Gail's Kitchen either seems like the perfect artisan addition to Bloomsbury or a shock to the system as you leave Tottenham Court Road. Perhaps equally disconcerting, the restaurant is separated from the newest bakery in its established location by a hotel lobby. Once you get past all of this, however, the place you arrive at is worth the stop. In comparison to the bakery—stocked as it is with window-filling dough treats—the restaurant seems rather understated. Once you get settled, however, the shy aesthetics are hardly an issue as the enthusiasm of the staff and the quality of the food shine through. The menu is simultaneously concise and full of options. Rather than designated 'starters' and 'mains', the courses are categorised by 'snacks' and 'small plates', with two of the latter recommended to equal a main course. That being said, if you're willing to share with your dining companion, three small plates would probably be sufficient in a three-course sitting. The 'snack' highlight was undoubtedly the Maple Roasted Nuts, Seeds & Kernels (£3.00), which met our mouths fresh out of the oven; crisp, crunchy and hot, along with olives that were freshly baked in their pizza oven visible from the front of the house. In fact, the only 'snack' that arrived cold was the Sourdough Soldier (£2.00). These scrumptious little delights ease you into a cosy and comforting dining experience brimming with flavour and satisfaction, with none of the guilt that comes with large portion sizes. The 'small plates' section offers a wide range of cuisine that includes fish, meat and vegetarian options. All the ingredients were fresh and simple, and each dish had

its own distinct and original flavour. While the Roasted Beetroot, Lentils, Labneh & Flat Bread (£7.50) had a pronounced earthy character, while the Cedro lemon with pomegranate, castelfranco, Pecorino & almond salad (7.50) brought a contrasting fresh note. The trick here is also not to be put off by the simple options. For example, the Leeks Vinaigrette with Maple & Mustard Croutons (£7.00) appeared at the table looking like a deconstructed take on egg mayonnaise. It had, however, the most complex combination of flavours of all the dishes we chose. The other strength of Gail's is the presentation. The Smoked Mackerel Rillettes with Watercress & Toasted Rye (£7.00) arrived in a jam jar jacketed in netting; a charming piece that invoked the feel of seaside indulgence. The showstopper, however, came from the pudding section. The flavour-filled Blood Orange Sorbet (£4.50) was regrettably swept to a side by the Cookies & Milk (£6.00); presented on a wooden plate, three fresh out of the oven, still melting in the middle, chocolate chip cookies sat towered by a borrowers-sized milk bottle that was topped off with a red and white striped straw. If the sheer cuteness wasn't enough to win us over, the experience of consuming it was. One sip of the milk and I would challenge anyone not to feel somewhere close to five years old again. By the end, I was visibly grinning from ear to ear, simply for having been served hot cookies. Up until this point, Gail's may have made their way thanks to their bread; consistent with that, dough is still the theme holding the whole menu together, and it shows. However, if you go for the bread, you really should stay for the pudding. If the formula for success was always this simple, no one would serve anything other than milk and cookies.

Æ Jessica Warner

20

12.03.2013 | The Beaver

STUDENTS’ UNION GOES TOTALLY CARACAS Heather Loves-Wange The LSE Students’ Union was plunged into controversy on Friday after the death of the Honourary President of the LSESU Venezuelan Society resulted in a takeover of the group by representatives of the FARC Internationalist Club and League. Within hours of the Comandante’s death and the subsequent announcement of an Extraordinary General Meeting, various members of the Society for the Ethical Promotion of Traditional United Marxism (SEPTUM) lodged complaints with the Union’s Democracy Committee demanding to be allowed to participate in the election. However, owing to the incumbent Chair, Jo Ampersand having mistakenly stood for every vacant seat, the Committee was declared inquorate and unable to make a ruling on the case before holdLQJ WKH னIW\ VL[ EL HOHFWLRQV required by the Constitution, Articles of Association. With no decision having been made, it is alleged that representatives of both FARCICAL and SEPTUM made a determined attempt to disrupt the Society’s balloting for the successor to Honourary Pres-

ident Chavez, which followed an awards ceremony for the “Misleading Infographic of

N*Dubz. The election, held under entirely free and fair circum-

from the Society’s former Vice-President, Nick Madrigal, who was given an hour,

Artist’s extraordinary rendition

the Year� presented by Owen Jones, Sean Penn, the late Michael Foot and Dappy from

stances in which all candidates were allowed to give a one minute speech - aside

the ability to use a Powerpoint presentation and access to a children’s orchestra

- descended into chaos with the arrival of the FARCICALSEPTUM group. Welding the customary anti-Imperialist weapons of AK47s, child labour and copious amounts of ethically sourced coca, the coup attempt was widely condemned by the members in attendance, who were subsequently unmasked as Pentagon agents according to documents the Society’s Secretary found on his MacBook Air. Problematically, however, the documents were subsequently deleted by nefarious Imperialist Cyber Hackers, or LSE “sh�IT Services, which are widely considered to be the same organisation. Despite attempts to rectify the situation, the takeover proved successful, with both Nick Madrigal and Calhouligan pledging to work with FARCICAL, so long as the new supply chain for the SU Shop was brought forwards in time for the De-Stress Festival. In an unrelated announcement, the Students’ Union has announced that Alex Putin-Day’s Car-Di-Gan is to be preserved in a glass coffin after numerous unsuccessful attempts to destroy via a controlled demolition.

YET ANOTHER SCANDAL RUINS LSE’S REPUTATION a building on the Kingsway, independent real estate anThe LSE is at risk of bank- alysts have already charted UXSWF\ LQ VWXQQLQJ னJXUHV a 616 per cent reduction in leaked to the B. This paper the value of the LSE’s portcan reveal that following folio. This represents the the reputational hit result- greatest falls in any area of ing from the Saif “Fingerless the London property market Mittsâ€? Gh/K-QuvenzhanĂŠ- since the Blitz or the last DQ GGDன VFDQGDO D IXUWKHU Carol. 7KH னQDQFLDO FULVLV KDV disaster has befallen the raised concerns regarding School. Just as what has, lets face the School’s recently anit, happened to the Philoso- nounced plans to fund free phy PhD, the School is hang- printing credits and indiing by a thread - in this case vidual subscriptions to the D னQDQFLDO RQH :LWK 6WUDQG New Internationalist. The “Polytechnicâ€? purchasing of Commissar has promised to respond in “the harshest

Ginger Whoreby

terms� and that “any encroachment by those scumbags will be taken with the utmost seriousness.� The leaked memo also indicates various budget cuts within Academic Departments. History is to become history, Accounting has been reduced to ‘Counting’ (although the syllabus remains the same), and Geography students will now only receive two coloured pencils for Third Year. As the Department of Anthropology doesn’t qualify as an actual educational department it was the only

winner out of the budgetary negotiations. The wider implications of the move can already be seen elsewhere. The recent inquiry by the School into the erection of security fences, the as yet unprecedented UCL power grab of Stratford and the latest intervention at the Old University of the Humanities as part of Operation MeatGrindr. The present funding arrangements was described as “as cold and dead as the corpses at a Hayakean Society Wine and Taboo Party�

according to a spokescisperson for the University of London. Matters were not helped against the background of Principle of Strand Polytechnic threatening to unleash “the academic equivalent of a dirty bomb� upon his enemies. It is unclear how Kim Jong Un managed to obtain the position, but it is clear that the LSE’s strategy of containment (as laid out in policy paper LSE-68) already requires urgent review.

Features

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

The World this Week SU elections end

Features

21

Kenya’s new President brings backs fears from the past UHURU KENYATTA

Across London student’s 8QLRQ HOHFWLRQV KDYH ஊ Q ished. At the LSE moderate candidates won most positions, whilst other univeristies such as UCL saw positions dominated by the far left. Falklands referendum The population of the Falkland Islands is going to the polls on Sunday and Monday in a referendum on whether to remain a British overseas territory. Argentina has constantly reiterated its claims to the islands and Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner has said the inhabitants’ wishes are not relevant in what is a territorial issue. Tories to consider leaving European Convention on Human Rights The Conservatives would consider leaving the European Convention on Human Rights if they won the 2015 election, the home secretary has said. She said it restricted the UK’s ability “to act in the national interest”. Silvio Berlusconi convicted Italy’s former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been convicted and sentenced to a year in jail over an illegal wiretap. Mr Berlusconi is likely to appeal and will remain free in the meantime.He is presently appealing against a taxfraud conviction and also faces a verdict in a sex trial later in March. Vicky Pryce guilty over speeding points The former wife of ex-cabinet minister Chris Huhne has been found guilty of perverting the course of justice by taking speeding points on his behalf. Perverting the course of justice carries a maximum sentence of life imprisonment.

Julia Wacket

Usually, election days are glorious days for peace and democracy. In Kenya however, during the past election week nobody dared to celebrate. Memories from the disastrous vote in 2007, where tribal clashes lead to 1000 deaths and over 500.000 refugees, once the results were announced, were still far too painful. After a prolonged wait for results, because of technical difficulties and allegations of ‘doctored result’, the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC) confirmed the final results of the presidential election, on Saturday. Uhuru Kenyatta, son of the first president after British colonial rule, Jomo Kenyatta, won by a marginal 50.07 per cent, on an amazing turnout of 86 per cent. His fiercest rival, Prime Minister Raila Odinga achieved 43 per cent. Newly elected Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta has hailed his poll win as a “triumph of democracy” and peace however Odinga already announced that he would file legal charges against Kenyatta, because

of possible voting manipulation after the technical difficulties earlier during the election. He however urged his followers to remain calm and not to turn to violence as they did in 2007. Outside of Africa the new president is also contested, as the EU and United States have noted that a victory of Kenyatta may reduce diplomatic relations between them and the East African country as the 51-year old winner is currently scheduled to face trial at the International Criminal Court in Den Hague in July, as he is accused of fuelling the communal violence that saw more than 1,000 people killed and 600,000 forced from their homes after the 2007 election, in order to keep the ex-President Mwai Kibaki in power. The consequences of deteriorating relations could be far reaching, as Kenya is currently a major recipient of Western aid, a key ally of the US in the fight against terrorism and the economic powerhouse in the region. However, thinks seem to remain stable at the moment as US Secretary of State John Kerry referred to the election

a “historic moment” and said America would “continue to be a strong friend and ally” of the Kenyan people. The real outcome of the elections is however still unclear, namely whether the rival tribes of Kenyatta’s Kikuyu, Odinga’s Luo and the Kalenjin will accept the results, or whether prejudices and ancient grudges will come to light again. Until now, the elections have passed by relatively peacefully, except for the 11 civilians that were killed in north-eastern Kenya on Thursday by an anti-secessionist group. But nothing is certain yet, as the Daily Nation, Kenya’s biggest newspaper titled last week “The election brings out the worst in us”. Although the country has tried to move on from the horrors of 2007, most notably by passing a new constitution and reducing the powers of the president, justice remains questionable: with land grabbing still prominent, politics remaining ethnically decided and a new president charged with crimes against humanity, while thousand of his citizens still live in temporary

refugee camps. Elections and ethnic rivalry seem to be one of the few drawbacks of a country that has tried to be an example for rest of the African continent. Kenya has a stable economic growth rate of 4-5 percent annually, a booming middle-class, a growing number of highways, schools, and hospitals being built, and a relentless entrepreneurial spirit. Therefore, there is much to be lost if violence erupted again. Many Kenyans know this and do not want to repeat the bloodshed and economic drawback of 2007. They participated actively in elections, with the highest turnout their country has ever seen and mile long queues behind the polling stations. It now lies in the hands of Kenya’s politicians, Kenyatta and Odinga, to learn the lessons from history, by not stoking the ethnic “us versus them” mentality. Only if winners and losers accept the results alike, if they forgive, but do not forget, can Kenya truly become an example for democratic elections, and an example for Africa.

22

Features

12.03.2013 |

The Beaver

Global and local feminism WKH LQૹ JKWLQJ PXVW VWRS Welcome If a newspaper column is printed but no-one is around to read it, is it visible? I suppose the question to you is irrelevant since you are reading this, thus you can see it. Anyway thanks for reading the blog this week. There will be elections in Week 10 for a new Features Editor, and this will possibly be my last/next to last week in the job, and I just wanted to say thank you for reading this section of the paper. Thanks to the writers, without whom there would just be blank pages, and thanks to the Executive Editor and Managing Editor of the paper who pick up on my frequent mistakes and change them for me. But especially thanks to my co-editors this year without whom there would be no section at all. SU elections are over, and I’m sure none of you want to read any more about it, though having said that, I’m guessing the front page of this paper is taken up with it, so what’s one more column? If you want a summary: “the moderates wonâ€?. This is in stark contrast to places such as UCL where the far left carried the day. Now this doesn’t mean the Union is apolitical, they are mostly on the left, or centre left, and some of the political deals made in this election make “House of Cardsâ€? look like a child’s game. But the Union is likely this year to focus on the union and students this year rather than bringing down the government as has happened in years past. All the winners are likely to work for students, and campaign on issue that matter. Ok, I’ll give you guys a break now, you don’t have to read anymore of this. What else is there to discuss in the news this week? I gave a brief summary of what is going on on the other page, but that’s not really directly linked to students is it? Given this might be my last week, I thought I’d share some interesting things I dicovered about the school over the years. So this week, I discovered that in the 1980s the LSE disaffiliated from the NUS, and used the affiliation money saved (a few tens of thousands of pounds), to buy a race horse called Houghton Street Harry, who had a column following him in the sports section each week. Amazing investment, and I fully encourage the SU to do the same. What could increase school spirit more? Well, probably a lot, but I think it would still be great.

You always hear people from the school, and particularly the SU going on about how the rise in fees and marketization of higher education is an affront to the LSE because it was set up by the Fabians who would be morally opposed to such ideas. But do you really want to be a Fabian like them? I mean they were also really into Eugenics. In the early 1900s Fabian Society members advocated the ideal of a scientifically planned society and supported eugenics by way of ‘sterilization’ of particular groups. Paul Kelly has reached iconic status at the LSE over the years due to his GV100 lectures, which he has sadly stopped due to taking his new role as Pro-Director of Teaching and Learning. For those who want to see the impact he has had on the school I recomend you check out the myriad of drinking games that developed over the years for his lectures and the “Paul Kelly for Direcctor� Facebook Page and the “Paul Kelly Rocks My Socks� Facebook group. Apparently there was “much mirth in the Kelly household when they were discovered.� Thanks everyone, for everything. It has been a pleasure to be the Features editor, and I am going to miss editing this section. Chris Rogers Features Editor

victim and challenging the view that men are animalistic and unable to control their desires, huge gains are being made to educate society that rape is wrong and cannot be legitimised in any situation – changing these attitudes is not something that can openly be questioned in other parts of the world. It is not up to any individual to argue which type of feminism is more worthwhile. In fact, it is the complete opposite. It is to ask people to not cause splits and view all the battles as ZRUWKZKLOH 7KH ன JKW IRU women’s rights is a long worn out battle that will continue for a while into the future. Whether this is on a local level of eliminating sexual harassment on the streets or global level of stopping forced marriages, giving girls equal opportunities to education and giving women the right to vote, it is clear the battle is not won. It continues and along with celebrating what we have achieved so far, it remains imperative that we must VXSSRUW DQG FRQWLQXH ன JKW ing for the human rights of all beings, whether it is those that surround us in our society or those that are around us globally. “I am not free while any women is unfree, even when KHU VKDFNOHV DUH YHU\ GLૼ HU ent from my ownâ€? $XGUH ORUGH

JAY MORRISON

You might think that a Tory can’t get elected in the LSE, but I met one who achieved it. Admittedly it was about 2030 years ago, but the point still stands. He managed to get elected by promising a wine bar to students, and this bar still exists (it’s the underground bar) though after the left took over again the following year they stopped it serving wine which in my view is a shame.

nists and non-feminists and between feminists and other The celebration of Inter- feminists. Regardless of all these national Women’s Day has once again brought up all problems within and outthe problems associated side the feminist movement with the feminist move- (that inherently come with ment. A day set to celebrate the plurality of a left wing women’s social and politi- movement), one of the macal achievements, it is fast jor problems is the trivialibecoming advertised as sation of western feminism. another day to be commer- This criticism has seen a recialised, feminising women cent surge since the media into buying them spa and attention to the rape attacks SDPSHULQJ JLIWV ŕŽ‹ RZHUV in India. The ensued is that chocolates, etc. Of course women outside the coungifts are wonderful but this tries that value western valis not the way IWB seeks to ues such as the Middle East appreciate women. By do- and Asia have their rights as ing so, women themselves women seriously hindered are trivialising what this due to their political regime/ day is about. Essentially, it cultural structural. With litis about how much women WOH PHFKDQLVPV WR ன JKW have achieved until today, against the norms of women how much women have sac- as second class citizens, the ULன FHG DQG IRXJKW IRU XQWLO causes fought by western today, and how the battle feminism are abhorrently still ensues today. The fact minimised to be unimporthat many see the battle for tant. This is a completely clear women’s right as won highlights the key problems that judgement based on eviremain in the feminist move- dent. However, there is one ment and society as a whole. thing that needs to be clari7KH ŕŽ‹ XLGLW\ RI IHPLQLVP ன HG IRU ZHVWHUQ IHPLQLVP ‍ ڋ‏ has caused great prob- the battle still ensues. There lems for the movement as a are innumerable examples whole – many people end up of sexism still evident in identifying feminists as radi- western society, ranging cal bra-burning, men-hating from domestic violence and women who believe they sexual harassment on indishould rule the world. Ob- vidual levels to huge examviously, this is a myth that ples of the state battling to has made some progress in take away the reproductive recent times to be dispelled. rights of women. In fact, one Feminism is the belief in of the most crucial battles equality for all members that are being fought in the of society in every possible western world is the reforway. It is the contestation mulation of sexist assumpof what equality means in tions such as who is to blame practise that has led to such in cases of rape. By dissolvgreat divides between femi- ing myths like blaming the Gurmeet Kaur

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

Features

Lurch to the right? Only a lurch to the centre will save Cameron

Philosophy Problems

Liam Hill, Political Columnist

The Conservatives will haemorrhage votes to an ascendant UKIP at the next election. David Cameron needs to tack to the right to bring back the millions of conservative voters who might back UKIP. The ‘modernisation’ of the Conservative Party needs to be buried in favour of Europe-bashing, tax-slashing, scrounger-hating populism. So goes a popular narrative. I think most Conservatives who talk about the rise of UKIP and the need for more rightwing policies do not really believe their party faces the kind of threat from UKIP that they suggest. Rather, they are doing it because they them-

the debate as the main parties, public opinion or public mood, might begin to shift to WKH ULJKW ZKLFK ZRXOG EHQHன W David Cameron. UKIP is also much less of a threat to the Conservative Party than some have suggested. A poll conducted by Lord Ashcroft suggested that more than IRXU ன IWKV RI SHRSOH ZKR YRWHG UKIP in Eastleigh were doing it to send a message to Westminster, to the parties they would normally vote for. Constituencies where the UKIP vote is likely to increase will be safe Tory seats where the Tories have no chance of losing, or safe Labour seats where the Tories have no chance of winning. The majority of rightwing discontent with the Conserva-

A comparison is often made between UKIP and the Social Democratic Party, which split from Labour in 1981 and split the left-of-centre vote throughout the 1980s and beyond. There are several reasons why VXFK DQ DQDORJ\ LV ŕŽ‹ DZHG First, the SDP had an immediate parliamentary presence because a number of high-proன OH /DERXU ன JXUHV MRLQHG LW UKIP has not one MP. The SDP was closer to the centre than Michael Foot’s Labour Party, while UKIP is considerably to the right of Cameron. The SDP-Liberal Alliance actually led in the polls for a while before Mrs Thatcher’s Falklands-inspired poll bounce. UKIP have never achieved better than third

it would not make the Tories look like a credible party of government. Cameron needs to win over Lib Dems in the south, which he failed to do in Eastleigh. The more the Lib Dems can take credit for moderating their senior coalition partners’ rightwing tendencies, the less likely it is that people will abandon Nick Clegg’s party for selling out and having no principles. Most importantly, the Conservatives need to take votes away from Labour. As the Iraq War, the introduction of tuition fees and the erosion of civil liberties fade from voters’ minds, and the public sees Labour with a leader who repudiates the Iraq War, favours a gradu-

23

Again, this is possibly my last week, so we are going to turn to a philosophical topic that interests me. This is the ன UVW HYHU SKLORVRSK\ PRGXOH I ever studied, so it has some nostalgia value for me. Proving the existence of God by necessity. A project as old as any in philosophy. Let’s give it a go shall we? 1. Our understanding of God is a being than which no greater can be conceived. 2. The idea of God exists in the mind. 3. A being which exists both in the mind and in reality is greater than a being that exists only in the mind. 4. If God only exists in the mind, then we can conceive of a greater being—that which exists in reality. 5. We cannot be imagining something that is greater than God. 6. Therefore, God exists.

THE PRIME MINISTER'S OFFICE

selves are frustrated with their leader’s project being wedded to the ‘modernisation’ of their party. I also think David Cameron sees through them. The story about UKIP’s recent rise is based on a few good by-election results and more exposure than in the past in the national media. But UKIP is much more useful to the Conservatives, and far less of a threat to them, than orthodox opinion might suggest. UKIP is useful to the Conservatives because it makes Conservative opinion seem more moderate. UKIP want to leave the EU altogether so David Cameron’s desire to renegotiate Britain’s relationship with the EU seems comparatively moderate. If UKIP are given the same space in

tives will be felt there, and not in the seats which will determine whether David Cameron or Ed Miliband will be prime minister. However much a Conservative voter might think David Cameron is insufficiently Conservative, the blatant fact is that Ed Miliband is less Conservative. Is a dyed-in-the-wool Conservative really going to knowingly hand the keys to Number 10 to the Labour leader? I think not. When UKippers say all three parties are essentially the same, they are tapping into voter frustration at the parties’ similarities, but there is no voter who would be unable to tell WKH GLŕŽ‰ HUHQFH FRPH HOHFWLRQ time, when the three parties create the battle lines which ZLOO GHன QH WKH HOHFWLRQ

place in an opinion poll. So what happens if David Cameron shifts further right? Maybe he keeps some voters who would have voted for UKIP instead. But how many voters does he lose to Miliband and Clegg in vital marginal seats? How much time spent on convincing voters that Tory policy will be harsh enough on welfare recipients, Romanians and the EU would be better spent attempting to reassure voters that the Conservatives have not failed on the economy or trying to claim that the Liberal Democrat policy of raising the personal tax allowance was a Conservative idea all along? A populist narrative about immigration, welfare and the EU might win back some disaffected voters on the right, but

ate tax and is sceptical of New Labour’s erstwhile disregard for civil liberties, Cameron is going to have to convince voters on the central question: the economy. One of Labour’s best attacks is that the standard of living is falling and the Conservatives are cutting taxes for millionaires. As Labour shifts the debate about reforming capitalism and ensuring that every group in society takes responsibility, the Conservatives will be portrayed as the defenders of wealth and privilege, protectors of the fat cats, and they will lose the votes of ordinary people.

So have we suddenly convinced you of the existence of the almighty? Let’s be honest, probably not, any more than a Philosopher can convince you that you are just a brain in a vat. Though having said that, I do think that Putnam, has a extremely interesting argument against that. There are a number of arguments that exist to go against this. Though most are somewhat philosophically naieve. The one I dislike the most being “you are just messing around with words, that doesn’t mean anythingâ€? - yes, while maths is just messing around with numbers. A more philosophically nuanced argument against this is that of Emmanuel Kant, (in my opinion the greatest philosopher in History). The arguement is the predLFDWH ‍Ú?‏H[LVWV‍ ڑ‏LV GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW IURP any other predicate, such as colour. You would not say, I have 2 dogs, one is brown the other exists. Such descriptions are a nonsense. This, in my view, is a much more well thought out argument than most retorts. But still is it completely convincing, perhaps not? Something doesn’t feel quite right here. As Bertrand Russell observed, it is much easier to be persuaded that ontological arguments are no good than it is to say exactly what is wrong with them. This helps to explain why ontological arguments such as this one have fascinated philosophers for almost a thousand years.

24

Features

12.03.2013 | The Beaver

LSE DIRECTORS William Hewins (1895-1903)

Historical economist and mathematician. When the Webbs founded the school, Hewins accepted WKHLU Rஉ HU WR EHFRPH WKH ஊ UVW Director. Resigned to work for Joseph Chamberlain and his campaign IRU WDULஉ UHIRUP Beatrice Webb on Hewins: “Every Tuesday he lunches ZLWK XV WR GLVFXVV WKH Dஉ DLUV RI the LSE. He is original minded and full of energy and faith. Shaw always declares he is a fanatic. So he is. But he is also a born manipulator. He is a churchman and an ardent beOLHYHU LQ WKH VFLHQWLஊ F PHWKRG in economics and politics.”

Professor Halford Mackinder (1903–1908) Most prominent academic geographer of his time, considered as one of the founding father of geopolitics and geostrategy. Went on to become a Conservative MP after resignation. On Geography: “The science of distribution. The science, that is, which traces the arrangement of things in general on the Earth’s surface.”

William Pember Reeves (1908–1919)

Sir William Beveridge (1919–1937)

Former agent-general of New Zealand, was also a historian and poet. :DV KLJKO\ LQ஋ XHQFHG E\ the Fabian Society, and in particular by Beatrice Webb. From one of his best poems, The Passing of the Forest:

Trained lawyer – was involved in mobilising and controlling manpower during World War I. Became leader of the Liberals in the House of Lords in 1946. “The object of government in peace and in war is not the glory of rulers or of races, but the happiness of the common man.”

“Gone the woodpigeon’s sudden whirr of wings, The daring robin all unused to wrong, Ay, all the friendly friendless creatures.”

Sir Alexander Carr-Saunders (1937–1957) Was both a natural and social scientist, and was educated in zoology at Oxford. Pioneer of population studies. Was the Secretary of the Eugenics Education Society, and saw in eugenics a solution for the engineering of society into a better condition. Held the post of Director until his retirement in 1957.

Sir Walter Adams (1967–1974) Historian, educated at UCL and lectured there in history from 1926 to 1934. Previously worked as the head of University College of Rhodesia. His appointment was controversial and gave rise to student protests due to links with Ian Smith’s racist regime in Rhodesia. Students occupied the Old Theatre, and two Students’ Union officials were suspended. The students went on a hunger strike that lasted IRU ஊ YH GD\V Interestingly, there are four portraits of him at the National Portrait Gallery.

Sir Sydney Caine (1957–1967) Previously worked as the vice-chancellor of the University of Malaya, a consultant at the World Bank, and Minister at the British Embassy in Washington. LSE Alumnus, and between 1963 and 1970 was the Chairman of the Governing Board of the UNESCO International Institute for Educational Plan-

Professor Sir Ralf Dahrendorf (1974–1984) German-British sociologist, philosopher and political scientist. Member of the Foreign Ofஊ FH RI *HUPDQ\ DQG WKH +RXVH of Lords. Leading expert on class divisions in modern society. 2YHUVDZ WKH ஊ UVW UHGHYHO opment of the Library in Portugal Street. A bronze bust of Dahrendorf was sculpted by the artist Bertrand Feiesleben, unveiled in the Old Building Atrium in September 2009.

Features

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

1895 TO 2013

25

Dr I.G. Patel (1984–1990)

Previously worked as the governor of the Reserve Bank of India. :DV WKH ன UVW SHUVRQ RI South Asian origin to head a higher education institution in the United Kingdom. Howard Davies said: “I.G. Patel was a highly talented Director of the School, who was remembered here with great DŕŽ‰ HFWLRQ ,Q SDUWLFXODU KH FRQ tinued LSE’s long tradition of scholarly teaching and research links with India which ‍ ڋ‏WKDQNV LQ JUHDW SDUW WR KLP ‍ ڋ‏ remain as strong as ever today.

Professor Anthony Giddens (1996–2003) One of the architects of New Labour, Giddens’s Third :D\ SURYLGHG WKH IUDPHZRUN IRU WKH SURJUHVVLYH FHQWUH OHIW LQ %ULWLVK SROLWLFV British sociologist, renowned for his theory of structuration and holistic view of modern societies, and is the most widely read and cited social scientist of his generation. Introduced world-class DFDGHPLF VWDŕŽ‰ WR WKH /6( DV

ZHOO DV LQWHUGLVFLSOLQDU\ SUR grammes associated with the Human Rights Centre and the Centre of Analysis and Risk Regulation and Media. 2Q *DGGDன 7KH *XDUGLDQ ‍ڔ‏$V RQH SDUW\ VWDWHV JR /LE\D LV QRW HVSHFLDOO\ UHSUHV sive. [He] seems genuinely SRSXODU ‍ڕ‏ Giddens was invited to visit Libya in 2006 and 2007 by the management consultancy

Professor Sir John Ashworth (1990–1996) Led the school through various changes – including VSHFXODWLRQ DERXW D PRYH IURP Aldwych to County Hall. .QLJKWHG LQ IRU SXEOLF services. Worked as under-secretary to the government’s Cabinet Office from 1979 to 1981, as vice-chancellor at the University of Salford, and was a former chairman of the British Library board. Daily Gazette, 2008: “I had SXEOLVKHG D UHSRUW RQ FOLPDWH change when I was chief scientist for the Cabinet and, at that time, climate change was regarded as one of the nuttier notions.�

Sir Howard Davies (2003-2011) He was executive chairman of the FiQDQFLDO 6HUYLFHV $XWKRULW\ )6$ IURP WR DQG 'HSXW\ *RYHUQRU RI WKH Bank of England from 1995 to 1997. Davies was Director of the London School of Economics from 2003 to 2011, OHDYLQJ KLV SRVLWLRQ DPLG FRQWURYHUV\ VXU rounding his authorisation of the univerVLW\ DFFHSWLQJ GRQDWLRQV IURP WKH *DGDIIL IDPLO\ 6LU +RZDUG KDG LQ WKH SDVW JLYHQ advice to the Libyan Investment Authority. He said he was offered a $50,000 fee for doing so, but asked that it be used for D VFKRODUVKLS DW WKH /6( Though at the time LSESU Sabbatical officers denounced Sir Howard asserting

WKDW KLV UHVLJQDWLRQ ZDV‍ڕ‏WKH ILUVW VWHS LQ restoring our faith in the integrity of the universityâ€?, an Extraordinary General Meeting was held by members of the StuGHQWV‍ ڑ‏8QLRQ SDVVLQJ D PRWLRQ HQWLWOHG ‘Thank You, Howard’. Which among other things mandated the Sabbatical Officers of the Union to thank Howard Davies in SHUVRQ IRU KLV VHUYLFH WR WKH 6FKRRO DQG to mandate the Sabbatical Officers and to urge the Part-Time Executive Officers to vote in favour of electing Howard Davies as honorary member of the Union - the PRWLRQ SDVVHG E\ YRWHV LQ IDYRXU WR DJDLQVW KWWS ZZZ OVHVX FRP QHZV DUWLFOH 8*0

Professor Judith Rees, (2012) Professor Judith Rees CBE, was Interim Director of London School of Economics and Political Science following the resignation of Sir Howard Davies. Professor Rees joined LSE in 1969 as a Lecturer in GeograSK\ +HU PDLQ UHVHDUFK LQWHU ests include climate change and the governance of environmental resources and risk. Professor Rees was awarded the title of a Commander of the 2UGHU RI WKH %ULWLVK (PSLUH LQ 2006 Craig Calhoun said: “Judith VWHSSHG LQ DW D KDUG WLPH DQG GLG D WHUULன F WLPH KHOSLQJ WKH school move forwardâ€?

Photos courtesy of LSE LIBRARY AND BEAVER ARCHIVES

Professor Craig Calhoun (2012 - present) Professor Craig Calhoun is an American sociologist and an advocate of using social science to address issues of SXEOLF FRQFHUQ +H EHFDPH Director of the London School of Economics and Political SciHQFH LQ 6HSWHPEHU +H ZDVSUHVLGHQW RI WKH 6RFLDO 6FL ence Research Council, University Professor of the Social Sciences at New York University and Director of NYU’s Institute for Public Knowledge. Peter Sutherland, chairman of LSE’s court of governors, said: “Craig is an outstanding DSSRLQWPHQW ‍ ڋ‏DQ LQWHOOHFWXDO FRPSOHWHO\ DW HDVH LQ SXEOLF life whose career shows how academia is not aloof from society but embedded in itâ€?.

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| The Beaver

4000 dead later. What has been achieved in Syria?

CHRISTIAAN TRIEBERT

'RPLQLF +XQJ :RUOG $૸ DLUV

Five weeks ago, an article was published in this newspaper on WKH GHDWK RI 6\ULD LQ WKHVH ன YH weeks, 4000 more have been killed by pro-Assad forces alone, of which approximately 420 were children and 230 were women. Though no official figure exists for the death toll caused by the Syrian opposition as a whole, it FDQ EH DVVXPHG WR DGG VLJQLன cantly more to the overall count. <HW WKHVH ன JXUHV EUXWDO DV WKH\ may be, tell us nothing new about the carnage that tears apart the country – recent developments in WKHVH ன YH ZHHNV KRZHYHU PD\ provide fresh insight into the direction that Syria may now take. Perhaps the most crucial development that has occurred in WKLV WLPH KDV EHHQ WKH GHன QLWLYH rise of Jabhat al-Nusra, a Sunni PLOLWDQW MLKDGLVW JURXS ன JKWLQJ for the implementation of Sharia law in Syria following Assad’s IDOO DV WKH PRVW HŕŽ‰ HFWLYH DQG RU ganized arm of the Syrian opposition, outstripping the Free Syrian Army in terms of discipline, morale and equipment. Meanwhile, the FSA has fallen prey to allegations of misconduct and of the declining ‘purity’ of their ன JKWHUV KDYLQJ EHHQ IRUFHG WR smuggle arms and equipment to overcome Western reluctance to arm the rebels, it is unsurprising that such smuggling operations might slide closer towards crime DV VROGLHUV ன QG LW KDUGHU DQG harder to feed families at home. -DEKDW DO 1XVUD VXŕŽ‰ HUV IURP none of this. Unlike the Free Syrian Army, the Islamist militant group receives generous DPRXQWV RI ன QDQFLDO DQG PLOLWDU\ aid from Saudi Arabia and Qatar in particular, both Sunni states that have fewer qualms about arming those who the West might denounce as ‘terrorists’ (as the United States did with Jabhat al-Nusra in December 2012) on the basis of religious extremism. The group’s commanders have imposed strict discipline on their own forces; secrecy is paramount and those who reveal details of its operations or structure are summarily executed. Potential recruits must undergo 10 days

of religious education before 20 days of military training; criminal activity that the Free Syrian Army might tolerate is dealt with in a similarly harsh manner. To make it worse for Western policy-makers, the Islamist JURXS‍ڑ‏V EDWWOHன HOG VXFFHVVHV have earned it the support and admiration of the Syrian population wherever it operates. The militants have played a vital role in holding rebel lines in the ongoing Battle of Aleppo, described as the crucial battle in the War, and their decision to refrain from enforcing Sharia law until Assad’s fall has helped garner support from moderate and secular blocs of the population which normally would not throw their weight behind such an extremist organization. While it remains difficult to point to any trends in the opposition forces, it would be fair to say that Islamists are gaining ground while secular and liberal groups have struggled to make an impact. In light of such a development, it remains to be answered ZKDW SUDFWLFDO HŕŽ‰ HFW WKH UHFHQW Rome summit on 28 February between the Friends of Syria bloc and the Syrian National Coalition (within which, tellingly, the Muslim Brotherhood-affiliated Syrian National Council holds the most sway). After initially boycotting the talks in protest of the weakness of the international community in responding to the crisis in Syria, the summit eventually convened after speFLன F DVVXUDQFHV ZHUH SUHVHQWHG to the opposition to provide aid. The opposition was to be disappointed again, however, when ‘aid’ from the United States only amounted to $60 million USD – WR SXW WKDW ன JXUH LQ FRQWUDVW WKH same amount would cover the amount of US military aid to Israel in the period of a week. $V SDUW RI 86 HŕŽ‰ RUWV WR SUH vent weapons from falling into the wrong hands when providing aid, the aid would only cover communications equipment, body armour and other associated ‘non-lethal’ equipment. Likewise, the United Kingdom will only be providing ‘armoured vehicles’ (as opposed to armed

vehicles) and body armour to select opposition groups. Besides this, there has only been more of the same from the West: human rights rhetoric, condemnation of Assad and the promise of more aid to the Syrian opposition. If it were not already apparent, this line of foreign policy is self-defeating and will gain the United States nothing from the Syrian Civil War. It is also, unfortunately, the least worst policy available to the United States at present. Once again, this is not a question of morality or of doing what’s best for the Syrian people – it is about the US attempting to achieve its own goals for its own gain. It is crucial to remember that what remains of US foreign policy in the Middle East is to support Israel and contain Iran – establishing human rights and democracy is secondary to either of those aims, though it would have been preferable to attain both. The United States fears that its arms will fall into the hands of jihadists and ‘terrorists’ – what the US has failed to take into account is that they are al-

UHDG\ EHLQJ DUPHG DQG ன QDQFHG by the Gulf states. Consider a situation which would be considered a disaster for the United States – namely, the establishment of a postAssad regime where Islamists, KDUGHQHG E\ FRQŕŽ‹ LFW DQG KRVWLOH to the West following their perceived (or perhaps real) reluctance to act in Syria, with the implementation of Sharia law and the complete defeat of the secular and liberal opposition LQ WKH DOPRVW LQHYLWDEOH FRQŕŽ‹ LFW between religious and secular groups following Assad’s fall. Limited US support for the Free Syrian Army is unlikely to turn Syria away from descending into VXFK D VWDWH RI DŕŽ‰ DLUV EXW ZKDW is there to do when both the will DQG WKH ன QDQFHV RI WKH 8QLWHG States are limited? The answer is, short of pulling itself back into a region of the world that the United States would desperately want to forget about in its entirety, absolutely nothing. As much as Iran remains a concern for the US, it hardly constitutes a vital security

threat; by extension, the outcome of the Syrian Civil War and the number of people who die in Syria are hardly relevant to current US foreign policy, especially in line with the current ‘Pivot to Asia’. Any US action taken in Syria is more out of a necessity to maintain the image of a country that stands for human rights, freedom and democracy; again, this is hardly an issue of hypocrisy or morality. It is only natural that a great power, or any great power, would want to preserve its own image no matter what. 4000 dead later, everything has only gotten worse for Syria. The Islamists continue to rise LQ SRZHU DQG LQŕŽ‹ XHQFH DV WKH secular opposition struggles to make headway; Western talk of enhanced support is likely to remain exactly that, talk. There are few countries in the world now that have the capacity to dramatically change the situation in the Syrian Civil War; for one of them, or more likely for all of them, 4000 is nothing.

Can girls and boys be friends?

27

,727$0$<2

Social

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

Nona Buckley-Irvine on the dynamics of relationships

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hen we were young the opposite sex was gross and kiss chase was a game of running away from these other specimens as fast as you could. Now, kiss chase takes place on a regular basis on nights out – and we no longer run. We love the opposite sex, we enjoy their attention, and maybe we want someone to be with. So the opposite sex has these various romantic implications which makes me ask: is it really possible for boys and girls, or men and women, to be friends? Empirical evidence – aka my experiences and my friends suggest not. But, let’s give this a shot. Males and females can PRVW GHனQLWHO\ EH IULHQGV , love having male friends because they are simple human beings, monosyllabic at their worst and hilarious at their best. There is none of the drama that accompanies having female friends – none of the

competitiveness over who is the best looking, or who is goLQJ WR JHW ZLWK WKH னW RQH RU even who is the most popular. Men can be relatively drama free. Now let’s think about what a mixed gender friendship is premised on. Back in the day when we were wee children, it was genuinely about be-

will be from the opposite sex. However, through talking to various people, it seems that in the back of our minds either we are preoccupied with the thought of getting in there with them, or they are thinking that about us. Really, our friendships now are far less substantial due to our raging hormones and well, idiocy.

not. Because we can now be dependent on our same sex friends for genuine support and good times, there is no need to hang around a member of the opposite sex if they are not interested romantically or sexually. Our interest in the other sex is not usually premised on how sweet they are as a friend or

think about it. You know that you have liked your friends before. You’ve had to deal with a friend that liked you. Maybe you then got with each other and it did not quite work out. Think about where \RX VWDQG QRZ , EHW \RX DUH not as close as you were, or even just do not talk at all. Where does this leave us, you may ask. Well, in not a very good place. Either stop making friends with the opposite sex or stop fancying them, or stop them fancying you. My genuine policy recommendations would thereing a friend. As non-sexual This is even truer if you if they like having non-sexual fore be to become friends beings, we were yet to view take the classic case of Guy sleepovers. Once your friend- with someone because they the opposite sex as a piece of Tries to Get With Girl and ship becomes weird because are interesting not because meat. Yet, even my longest She Says No. You may start one of you likes the other, WKH\ DUH னW %HFDXVH WKH\ DUH friendship with my male best RŕŽ‰ DV IULHQGV JHW DORQJ UH- and the other one does not, not your type and you know friend started out with me ally well, and then – BOOM \RX UHDOL]H KRZ VXSHUனFLDO that nothing will ever hapWKLQNLQJ WKDW , ZDV PDGO\ LQ – he goes in the for kill. (Or conversations were, as essen- pen. Whatever you do, don’t ORYH ZLWK KLP , ZDV D ZHLUG VKH ,W GRHVQ‍ڑ‏W ZRUN RXW WKH tially they were talking to you YOLO and take a risk on a child). other person is not interested to get in your pants. Or vice good thing, because in those At university we have the as they have friendzoned that versa. situations it really is ‘All or opportunity to make many person. You may be shaking your Nothing.’ Empirics suggest more friends, of whom some 9.9 times out of ten it will head and disagreeing. But Nothing.

Really, our friendships now are far less substantial due to our raging hormones and well, idiocy.

28

Social

12.03.2013

| The Beaver

The etiquette of being polite Frankie Bennett explores the social pressures associated with using an LSE water fountain

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or those of you who were at the LSE last year, you may have read the Beaver article about the idea of ‘stop and chat’ , ZULWWHQ E\ P\ ŕŽ‹DWPDWH .LUVW\ .HQQH\ 7KH ‍Ú?‏VWRS DQG FKDW‍ ڑ‏ is that moment when you bump into someone on campus and feel the obligation to converse with them, despite the fact they are a mere acquaintance and you really FDQ‍ڑ‏W EH ERWKHUHG :H DOO NQRZ WKRVH WLPHV ‍Ú?‏2K KH\ , KDYHQ‍ڑ‏W VHHQ \RX LQ DJHV +RZ KDYH \RX EHHQ" <HDK , NQRZ VR PXFK ZRUN &DQ‍ڑ‏W ZDLW IRU WKH ZHHNHQG 5LJKW ,‍ڑ‏YH JRW WR JHW WR FODVV ‍ ڑ‏$QG there it ends, not a moment WRR VRRQ IRU DOO LQYROYHG However, the awkwardness of ‘stop and chat’ has recently been overtaken by a certain painful occurrence in the library: the ‘water IRXQWDLQ VKXGGHU‍) ڑ‏RUJHW D bit of casual gossip over the ZDWHU FRROHU 7KHUH LV D QHZ breed of awkward encounter on the scene, and the ac-

companiment of running water makes it none the more VRRWKLQJ I like the eerie quiet in the soaring heights of the library WKLUG ŕŽ‹RRU LW KHOSV PH FRQFHQWUDWH <HW LW LV KHUH WKDW ZH HQFRXQWHU RXU னUVW SUREOHP where the ‘water fountain shudder’ can make even the PRVW EUD]HQ VWXGHQWV EOXVK If you are unlucky enough to

has driven many an innocent LSE citizen to discard their ecological principles and run to Sainsburys for the nearest ERWWOH RI 9ROYLF 2Q WKH VHFRQG ŕŽ‹RRU WKH SURFHVV RI னOOLQJ D ZDWHU ERWWOH JHWV QR HDVLHU 7KH VSHHG at which the water comes from the tap is so slow that referring to it as a trickle would be an exaggeration,

nals, but most of all everyERG\ ORRNV DW WKH WDS <RX FDQ‍ڑ‏W WDNH \RXU H\H RŕŽ‰ WKH EDOO IRU D VHFRQG 7KH SUHVVXUH LV RQ :KDW LI \RXU FRQcentration lapses and you OHW JR RI WKH EXWWRQ" :KDW if your arm relaxes and you move your bottle so it is no longer aligned with the hopeless dribble that the fountain occasionally burps

$V LI RQH WDS ZDVQ‍ڑ‏W HQRXJK to contend with, those gracing the water fountain must now wallow in an area void of social convention with two WDSV XQGHU WKHLU ZDWFK :KDW if someone else invades your territory and tries to use the other tap simultaneously? 6XUHO\ WKDW ZRQ‍ڑ‏W ZRUN %XW am I supposed to be letting someone else use the tap? Is the person behind me looking at me in disdain for usLQJ SXEOLF UHVRXUFHV VHOனVKly? Look at all this stainless steel I have to guard before me, glinting in my eyes as I sweat under the garish lifeel parched up on the tropi- yet this causes larger prob- RXW" $OO H\HV DUH RQ \RX brary lighting ‌ FDO WKLUG ŕŽ‹RRU DSSURDFK WKH lems than merely taking min- and the sluggish pace of the 8UJKKKKK 7KH ‍Ú?‏ZDWHU fountain with caution: be XWHV RXW RI \RXU GD\ LW LQWUR- whole ordeal makes the ‘wa- fountain shudder’ strikes prepared for the trickle of duces the problem of taking ter fountain shudder’ all the DJDLQ ,W‍ڑ‏V DOO WRR PXFK the water fountain to be a precious seconds out of PRUH DJRQL]LQJ 7KHUH DUH DOUHDG\ ZDUV DQG most unwelcome intrusion VRPHRQH HOVH‍ڑ‏V %HIRUH WKHUH 7R PDNH PDWWHUV ZRUVH traffic jams and impossible XSRQ WKH VLOHQFH $V HYHQ is even a puddle of water at even the more relaxed at- reading lists and now this? your footsteps approach, a the bottom of your bottle, a PRVSKHUH RI னUVW ŕŽ‹RRU KDV (QRXJK LV HQRXJK /6( number of angry Masters long queue has accumulated descended into a battle- Before the shudder catches students will turn and hiss at EHKLQG \RX 3HRSOH WDS WKHLU ground for students braving anymore unsuspecting vicyou, and once you press the feet, check their watches, the ‘water fountain shudder’, tims, raise the water presbutton they will usually eye- sigh and wave around their induced by LSE’s summer VXUH DOUHDG\ EDOO \RX XQWLO \RX UHWUHDW ,W important books and jour- LQWURGXFWLRQ RI WKH GXDO WDS

There is a new breed of awkward encounter on the scene, and the accompaniment of running water makes it none the more soothing.

Forty days and forty nights

Amelia Thomson looks at the relevance of Lent today DV FKRFRODWH +RZHYHU LW LV not only about testing your own fortitude when it comes to sweet treats, Lent is also D WLPH IRU JLYLQJ 7KLV XVXDOO\

nitely just as relevant today DV WKH\ KDYH HYHU EHHQ 5DWKer than just feeding guilty complexes Lent allows all SHRSOH &KULVWLDQ RU QRW WR

not we all become obsessed with considerations which are actually quite unimportant in the grand scheme of OLIH %\ JLYLQJ VRPHWKLQJ XS

takes the form of alms for the poor by doing things such as giving to charity or helping RXW DW D VRXS NLWFKHQ 7KHVH SUDFWLFHV DUH GHன-

either become more spiritually connected to God or to be able to re-assess the importance of things within their RZQ OLYHV 0RUH RIWHQ WKDQ

or helping others we are able to become happier within our own lives and focus on what it truly important to us, whatHYHU WKDW PD\ EH

&52:7

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ent is a 6 week long &KULVWLDQ IHVWLYDO ZKLFK EHJLQV RQ $VK :HGQHVday and ends on Easter SunGD\ 7KLV SHULRG LV VHHQ E\ many as simply a time to purge ‘bad things’ from one’s life and a chance for those with guilt complexes to be able to alleviate these for the UHVW RI WKH \HDU ,QGHHG WKLV cynical view is perhaps not ZKROO\ XQIRXQGHG KRZHYHU by looking at the true basis of Lent I believe it is possible to show just how truly relevant /HQW VWLOO LV WRGD\ Lent is based upon Jesus’s 40 days of fasting and praying in the desert during which time he managed to reVLVW WKH WHPSWDWLRQ RI 6DWDQ )RU WKLV UHDVRQ &KULVWLDQV often give things up during WKLV WLPH ,W LV LQ DQ DWWHPSW to emulate the fortitude Jesus showed against temptation in order to become closer to God and to go through a SURFHVV RI LQQHU FOHDQVLQJ In days gone by the rules of Lent were much stricter, KRZHYHU WKH 5RPDQ &DWKROLF &KXUFK FKDQJHG WKHLU UXOHV on the strict observance of IDVWLQJ GXULQJ /HQW LQ 1RZDGD\V &KULVWLDQV WHQG WR give something up which is truly difficult to resist such

For my part I have always found Lent a time of great importance where I can hopefully help others and begin to recognise what is important WR PH 7KLV \HDU , GHFLGHG WR go all out by giving up meat and alcohol coupled with an attempt to contact my parHQWV HYHU\ GD\ 6R IDU HYHU\WKLQJ LV JRLQJ TXLWH ZHOO Lent has allowed me to focus much better as by controlling certain aspects of my life the others come in to VKDUS IRFXV :LWKLQ P\VHOI , feel happier as I am managing to resist the temptation of people constantly attempting to ply alcohol on me but also through talking to my parents every day I feel a lot PRUH FRQQHFWHG WR WKHP 7KXV IRU PH /HQW LV VWLOO UHOHYDQW WRGD\ 7R DOO WKH F\Qics out there I would say it is a time for real personal development which can be of WUXH PHDQLQJ $V D &KULVWLDQ I feel closer to God at the end of Lent, however I would not say Lent should only be reVWULFWHG WR WKH UHDOP RI &KULVWLDQLW\ EXW RSHQ WR DOO 7KLV period of time can help everyone re-evaluate their lives so as to become the person they ZDQW WR EH

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

Social

29

A day between Saturday and Sunday Jiayi Fan on the benefits of taking some time out to enjoy life

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The endless heavy rain even ruined Christmas 2012 as everyone expected a white Christmas with snow, but the reality was a wet Christmas with ŕŽ‹ RRGV )RXU VHYHUH ŕŽ‹ RRG ZDUQLQJV ŕŽ‹ RRG ZDUQLQJV DQG ŕŽ‹ RRG =$0%21, $1'5($

ou are occupied by the fast pace of life from waking up in the morning until going to bed at midnight. You feel stressed by the high-intense workload or the neverending reading lists. You want to have a full day rest without worrying about any tasks and deadlines, but the weekend seems merely to be a continuation of the week. Saturday and Sunday always disappear in a twinkling, meaning you feel just like you haven’t done anything ZKLOH WKH WLPH ŕŽ‹ RZV DZD\ , QHHG DW least a day between Saturday and Sunday to give my brain and body a complete break, to stay away from schedules and to-do-lists, and to remember what it means to enjoy life. As for living in London, a day between Saturday and Sunday should be a day with sunshine. Although rain is the symbol of England, this place is really in desperate need of sunshine. There are many reasons why some Britons migrated to Australia. Climate is the best here, for you can embrace the sunshine in Australia everyday. The second reason to live in Australia is the high commodity prices however some of WKHP GRQ‍ڑ‏W OLNH WKHLU FRPSDWULRWV ,W LV WUXH WKDW WKH ZHDWKHU ZLOO LQŕŽ‹ X ence people’s daily moods, which after a while results in character and personality formation. The British are regarded as cautious, polite, and serious whereas Australians are known for their hospitality, outgoing personalities, and friendliness.

ine you take a walk on the Thames path and bathe in the sunshine instead of rain. That shiny feeling has the magic to light up hope. :KHQ , ZDV LQ WKH 8QLWHG 6WDWHV preparing for my trip before Spring

Saturday and Sunday? Why not slow down the fast pace and stay still to appreciate the moments of life and VHH WKH EHDXW\ RI OLIH" ,I , KDG RQH GD\ EHWZHHQ 6DWXUGD\ DQG 6XQGD\ , ZRXOG ZDNH XS DW DQ\ WLPH , ZDQWHG and then sit on the balcony, bathed in the sunshine, closed eyes and practice meditation. When stress plays the role of an obstacle rather than a driving force, you need to slow down, give yourself a break, and think for a while. A day doing nothing is not its literal meaning; it is a time to look at the present, look back, and look forward. Life is not only about working, it is also about enjoying. Whoever can deny that there is nothing more important than a healthy body and a happy mood. And as for people who live in London, slowing down and doing nothing in sunny weather might be the best thing to imagine. Having a day between Saturday and Sunday sounds like an unbelievable thought, but it is this illusion that reminds us of slowing down. Once you get into this society, it is likely that your life is controlled and manipulated by schedules and deadlines while you have no time left for DOHUWV FRQWULEXWHG WR WKH ŕŽ‹ RRG WKHPH %UHDN , IRXQG RXW WKDW RQH RI P\ yourself, but even slowing down for of Christmas 2012 . People tend to fellows planned to do nothing. Try- only a short afternoon can refresh be irritable and anxious on rainy ing to do nothing is difficult, for you. Like what Eddie Cantor said: days, and all these negative moods \RX FDQ ன QG VRPHWKLQJ WR GR DOO WKH ‍ڔ‏6ORZ GRZQ DQG HQMR\ OLIH ,W‍ڑ‏V QRW can be calmed down and cheered up time, such as reading a newspaper, only the scenery you miss by going by sunshine. Therefore, a day with answering phone calls, going gro- too fast, you also miss the senses of sunshine can clean up depression cery shopping and so on. So, why where you are going and why.â€? and allow for relaxation. Just imag- not do nothing in a day between

Silence in the classroom

-Hୟ 0R on the participation of some students in class answering all the questions. ,‍ڑ‏P ZULWLQJ DIWHU WKH eighth week of Lent Term, though. People in some of my classes are still silent, and the instructor still stands in front in exasperation, plead-

one’s quite lively before class starts, and sometimes it’s hard for the instructor to get the class to quiet down and listen. So why does everyone become resolutely mute once class actually starts?

ing for students to answer, threatening to make students come to the board but never carrying through with it. The instructors honestly look quite pathetic, facing their students with sad eyes and puckered lips. Every-

And when they do answer – my God, they are even more VWXSLG WKDW , JDYH WKHP FUHG LW IRU ,Q RQH RI P\ 0DVWHU level courses, some of my classmates can’t answer a question that is basic even E\ 0$ VWDQGDUGV ,W ZDV

6+$1( */2%$/ /$1*8$*( &(175(6

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here are some stupid people here at the LSE. Not people in my FRXUVH PLQG \RX , ORYH WKH people in my programme – and even though there has to be someone at the bottom of the barrel intelligence-wise, , KDYH \HW WR ILQG WKDW SHUVRQ DQG LQ IDFW ,‍ڑ‏YH \HW WR ILQG VRPHRQH WKDW , WKLQN UHDOO\ doesn’t belong here. But a few times a week , WDNH RU DXGLW FRXUVHV LQ RWKHU GHSDUWPHQWV DQG , DP continually astounded by how GXPE VRPH SHRSOH DUH , JR to class and inevitably, there will be long, awkward, pregnant pauses after the professor or the class teacher asks a question – any question – and no one answers. This is what one might expect in the first week, when people don’t know each other and things are just naturally awkward. You don’t know anyone else in the class, you don’t know the professor. You don’t want to embarrass yourself by answering incorrectly, and you don’t want to make an ass of yourself by

RQO\ D PDWWHU RI WLPH EHIRUH , found that one idiot (and the one next to him, and the one next to him ‌) that got in due to some admissions error. Some people seem to spend more time predicting who the instructor will ask next, and then rearranging their seating arrangements so as to avoid being called on, than they do studying. We’re not in high school anymore – grow up already. , ZDQW WR VWXG\ ZLWK VPDUW SHRSOH , FDPH WR WKLV VFKRRO for the quality of its educaWLRQ DQG , VKRXOG EH SXVKHG to study harder and work harder because of the ‘competition’ around me – my felORZ VWXGHQWV ,W‍ڑ‏V QRW DOO EDG ‍ ڋ‏,‍ڑ‏P JLYHQ VXSSRUW DQG friendship by all of that comSHWLWLRQ WRR /XFNLO\ ,‍ڑ‏YH found a lot of great people in my department, but for a few KRXUV HDFK ZHHN , UHJUHVV D few years – or maybe an entire degree. $V ,‍ڑ‏P SXEOLVKLQJ WKLV XQ GHU P\ UHDO QDPH , UHDOLVH that some people reading this PD\ WKLQN WKDW ,‍ڑ‏P WDONLQJ

DERXW WKHP ,‍ڑ‏P QRW DIUDLG though – as things currently stand, they won’t have the motivation or courage to say DQ\WKLQJ WR PH DQG , PHDQ this in the most matter-offact, least threatening, and least arrogant way possible), and maybe this will serve as an impetus for them to actually participate and shape XS , ZRXOG ORYH WR EH SURYHG wrong. We could all leave class so much earlier. What scares me, though, is that these ‘idiots’ are all in line for good, well paid jobs, and most importantly, jobs ZLWK KLJK FRQVHTXHQFHV , study economics, but these people are all directly in line for jobs in the finance industry. And if this is the calibre of graduates at one of the world’s top universities, what is the average recruit at 0RUJDQ 6WDQOH\ RU *ROGPDQ Sachs like? Wouldn’t it be pathetic if the financial crisis was due not to greed, but to stupidity?

30

Sport

12.03.2013

| The Beaver

State of the Athletics Union Harold Craston - Athletics Union President +HOOR HOOR ,‍ڑ‏P D VHFRQG \HDU JHRJUDSKHU IURP +HUWV (VVH[ FXUUHQWO\ OLYLQJ LQ (GJZDUH 5RDG ZLWK VL[ IULHQGV $W /6( I play for the football club and am part of the ‘Houghtones’ a capella group. As President, I intend on making the AU more accessible to non-AU members by enabling more students to get involved in sociable sport. , DOVR ZDQW PRUH VWXGHQWV WR EHQHனW IURP $8 QLJKWV /6(‍ڑ‏V PRVW VRFLDEOH QLJKW RI WKH ZHHN DV ZHOO DV IURP /6(‍ڑ‏V EUDQG QHZ $8 EXLOGLQJ , KRSH WR DFKLHYH WKLV E\ GRLQJ WZR WKLQJV னUVWO\ E\ FUHDWLQJ GHSDUWPHQW VSRUWV WHDPV WKDW should encourage groups of people to come along on Wednesday nights together. Secondly, by organising more diverse events that will be promoted to, and therefore appeal, to a larger part of the student body. In short my aim is to open up the AU and provide the ‘uni experience’ for any student who wants it, even if they don’t love sport!

Thomas Ian Meaden III - Athletics Union Executive The Governator of Rowing. The Honey Badger. Tory Scum. Life experiencer Part time AU member. Full time SU Hack. I am a second year History and Government student and will be serving you this year on the AU exec. , SODQ WR KHOS WKH VPDOOHU $8 FOXEV ZKR DUH GHVSHUDWHO\ LQ QHHG RI னQDQFLDO KHOS WR DFKLHYH WKHLU SRWHQWLDO , ZLOO GR WKLV by ensuring a fairly proportion budget allocation to allow small but successful clubs like Hockey, who have recently been promoted, to achieve their potential. I also want to widen participation both within and outside the AU. The AU reaches thousands of students on campus and FRQWDLQV ERXQGOHVV DPRXQWV RI HQWKXVLDVP ,I FKDQQHOOHG WKLV HQWKXVLDVP FRXOG EH RI LPPHQVH EHQHனW WR 5$* DQG WKH /6( DV D ZKROH :LWK WKH GLYHUVH PL[ RI HYHU\RQH RQ WKH ([HF ZH KDYH D JUHDW RSSRUWXQLW\ WR KHOS FKDQJH WKH $8 IRU WKH EHWWHU DQG IRU WKH EHQHனW RI DOO $8 FOXEV , ORRN IRUZDUG WR ZRUNLQJ ZLWK HYHU\RQH RQ WKH ([HF DQG +DUROG DV 3UHVLGHQW #LouisDavies4GenSec #Doyouevenrow

Nino Enukidze - Athletics Union Executive I’m Nino and I’m one of the members of the new AU exec. I’m so excited for next year, to organise events and to make it the PRVW IXQ \HDU HYHU ,W‍ڑ‏V DPD]LQJ WR EH RQ DQ H[HF ZKHUH HYHU\ PHPEHU LV IURP D GLŕŽ‰HUHQW FOXE LW‍ڑ‏V D VWHS WRZDUGV D PRUH inclusive AU. As a massive AU keeno, I’ll always go that one step further to ensure that everyone enjoys themselves to the fullest! I play netball for the third team, and, as my team will tell you, I’m the least versatile player on our team, the only thing I can do is shoot. I may be the least versatile on the pitch but when it comes to being an AU exec I’ll be able to take on any role and do an amazing job. Anyone who came to hustings will also know that along with being a netball player, I’m an avid cheerleader. I’m so excited to be on the exec, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to ensure that next year is the best year yet!

Jamie McSherry - Athletics Union Executive 'HVFULEHG E\ WKRVH ZKR NQRZ KLP DV ERWK D ORYHU DQG GHYLOLVK URJXH -DPLH 0F6KHUU\ LV RQH RI னYH PHWDSKRULFDO VKHSKHUGV guiding the herd of AU members from 2013-2014. In his spare time, Jamie enjoys painting landscapes of Turkey and judging DPDWHXU னJXUH VNDWLQJ FRPSHWLWLRQV DURXQG WKH 8. )XUWKHUPRUH KH IUHTXHQWO\ FRPSHWHV LQ UDS EDWWOHV XQGHU WKH SVHXGRnym of ‘M.C. Sherry’, where he has carved a reputation for himself by rapping solely in iambic pentameter and never breaking eye contact. A promising Fly-Half in his youth, Jamie now graces Berrylands with his keen game vision, gap creating and intelligent SODFH NLFNLQJ :KLOVW SULPDULO\ RFFXS\LQJ WKH MHUVH\ LI LW LV UHTXLUHG KH LV FRPIRUWDEOH SOD\LQJ DQ\ZKHUH LQ WKH PLGனHOG or in the back three. 4XLFN )DFWV DERXW PH LQFOXGH , FDQ VTXDW NJV EHQFK SUHVV NJV P\ SHUVRQDO SKLORVRSK\ LV WKDW FORWKLQJ LV RSWLRQDO , VSHDN ŕŽ‹XHQW +HEUHZ DQG KDYH WZR WDWRRV D IXOO EDFN SLHFH RI 5LKDQQD DQG D € 7ULEDO VOHHYH ULJKW DUP

Megan Tretheway - Athletics Union Executive +HOOR $8 7KDQN \RX IRU YRWLQJ PH LQ WR EH \RXU ([HF ,‍ڑ‏P 0HJ RU PDQ 0HJ WR WKH 5XJE\ JLUOV ZKR ZHOFRPHG PH LQWR WKH AU with more alcohol and laughs than I’d expected. I’m from Gloucester, if anyone even knows where that is, and I’m studying Politics and Philosophy. I joined the AU because I was never very good at any of the sports I tried when I was growing up, even though I tried really KDUG VR , ZDQWHG WR WU\ VRPHWKLQJ QHZ , KHDUG WKDW‍ڑ‏V ZKDW \RX GLG DW XQLYHUVLW\ DQ\ZD\ 0\ GDG KDG DOZD\V PDGH MRNHV WR the family that I was the laziest and most delicate in the family, so I think I chose rugby just to spite him. Unfortunately for him, I ended up loving it. Now the AU is one of the biggest parts of my uni life, with the weekly practises, games and Zoo bar EHLQJ WKH KLJKOLJKWV RI P\ ZHHN 7KH IULHQGV , PDGH ZLWK WKH $8 DUH GHனQLWHO\ WKH PRVW RXWUDJHRXV DQG KRSHIXOO\ ,‍ڑ‏OO FRQWLQXH to make more with the rest of you next year. See you in Zoo!

James Broad - Athletics Union Executive Hi my name is James Broad and I’m a second year International History student, but I’ve also done outside options in IR and Geography for those who may recognise me. I’m from a small village in a fairly rural area of Cumbria, so naturally LonGRQ ZDV WKH னUVW SODFH , ZDQWHG WR JR WR ZKHQ , WKRXJKW DERXW ZKHQ FKRRVLQJ P\ XQLYHUVLW\ ,Q WHUPV RI VSRUW DW VFKRRO , played for the cricket, rugby, and football teams whilst also representing the county for athletics. &XUUHQWO\ ,‍ڑ‏P QHDULQJ WKH HQG RI P\ VHFRQG \HDU RI EHLQJ D PHPEHU RI WKH PHQ‍ڑ‏V IRRWEDOO WK WHDP DW /6( WR ZKLFK ZH‍ڑ‏YH KDG PL[HG VXFFHVV ERXQFLQJ EDFN IURP ORVLQJ WKH LQIDPRXV ‍Ú?‏HO FODVVLFR‍ ڑ‏GHUE\ ZLWK WKH /6( WK WHDP HDUOLHU LQ WKH \HDU WR UHDFK WKH னQDO RI WKH /RQGRQ 8QLYHUVLWLHV 6KLHOG ZKLFK LV WR EH SOD\HG RQ WKH WK RI 0DUFK 3OD\LQJ D UROH LQ WKH $8 H[HF next year is going to be exciting and I’m looking forward to maximising the attendance of AU events from all clubs, creating new sporting opportunities for anyone that wants to attend, and forming that cohesive inter-club atmosphere that has seemingly eluded the AU until now.

Sport

The Beaver | 12.03.2013

31

Tennis: The History Boys? Gerard Dericks

and

Chris Anguelov

That’s right LSE. Pull back the curtain of our Uni’s scintillating academic reputation and nefarious poOLWLFDO DOOLDQFHV DQG \RX ZLOO DOVR ன QG VRPH RI WKH hardest-working and most talented student athletes in the country right here. Tennis, the oldest student VRFLHW\ DW /6( FLUFD KDV IRU WKH ன UVW WLPH LQ its history, reached the British Universities & Colleges Sport (BUCS) Trophy Final. On Tuesday the 19th of March, your Men’s First Team will be competing in Leeds for some of the most treasured silverware BritLVK 6SRUW KDV WR RŕŽ‰ HU GHWDLOV RQ KRZ WR FRPH VXSSRUW us for free below). This is a BIG DEAL. If you thought LSE never had any sporting success to celebrate, you are now wrong! We’ll take down as many nutty fans as we can! Dress absurdly, drink profusely, scream obstreperously and generally go mental chicken oriental like only the LSE normally doesn’t... and then see if it makes the Daily Mail. For those of you who don’t NQRZ WKH GLŕŽ‰ HUHQFH EHWZHHQ WKH EDFN HQG RI D KRFN ey stick and its owner, allow us to give some perspective on the momentousness of this sporting achievement. There are 6 league divisions of university sport in the UK, ranked from the Premier League down to the Fifth League, and only one other LSE team (basketball) is currently above the third tier (sad but true). This year, the Men’s tennis team has not only PDGH LW WR WKH ன QDO RI WKH %8&6 7URSK\ EXW KDV DOVR FODLPHG WKH %8&6 )LUVW 'LYLVLRQ WLWOH IRU WKH ன UVW WLPH HYHU 7KXV ZH KDYH TXDOLன HG IRU WKH 3UHPLHU /HDJXH SOD\ RŕŽ‰ V QH[W PRQWK ZKHUH ZH KRSH WR EHFRPH RQO\ the second team in LSE history (again basketball) to make it into the coveted Premier League‌ where we ZRXOG KDYH WKH FKDQFH WR EDWWOH WKH 8.‍ڑ‏V ன QHVW VSRUW ing universities, while still actually earning degrees worth mentioning on a CV! If you think 93 years is a long time to wait to get into the Cup Final, you would be right, especially considering the road the Men’s Tennis team has had to HQGXUH WR ன QDOO\ JHW KHUH ([DFWO\ WZR \HDUV DJR ZH headed down to Brighton University in a must win VLWXDWLRQ WR SUHYHQW UHOHJDWLRQ IURP %8&6 ன UVW GLYL sion, having lost two of our star players for the entire second-half of the season to illness and the guitar. 'HVSLWH KHURLF HŕŽ‰ RUWV D WLH EUHDN LQ WKH WKLUG set from Edouard Aubry and Alvin Gill), this abridged

The last Tuns of the year played KRVW WR WKH $8 ([HF +XVWLQJV with a spectacular performances from all candidates involved and a special thank you to Bridget Jones for her perfect high kick. Congratulations should be given to the future $8 3UHV &UDVWR DQG QH[W \HDUV H[HF WKH +RQH\ %DGJHU %ULGJ et Jones, Mcsherrif, Broadside and the bnoc. With the future of the AU in safe hands all we do is hope that the incoming IUHVKHUV QH[W \HDU FDQ OLYH XS WR WKH H[SHFWDWLRQ RI WKH $8 for misbehaviour and promiscuity. Converting on Monday and Wednesday this week with the LSE add-on was Megatron,

team alas only managed to eke out a draw and fell to BUCS Division 2. Last year however, with the addition of wily characters such as an uber-achieving movie star from Stanford (Greg Hirshman – his movie is called Unstrung, look it up on youtube), a laconic Serbian who spars with Djokovic (Stefan Nikolic), and a pair of congenitally joined twins who were only separated so that they might achieve better net coverage in doubles (Simeon Human and Mitchell Henry), LSE managed to crush all-comers in the second division league and BUCS Cup.

+RZHYHU XSRQ UHWXUQLQJ WR WKH ன UVW GLYLVLRQ DW WKH start of this academic year, the Men’s team was faced with a tough situation, having lost many of their key players to unfortunate mishaps like top-marks and graduation. Luckily two new players came out of the /6( DGPLVVLRQV RIILFH WR ன OO WKLV JDS ‍ ڋ‏D )LQQLVK QLQMD with laser-like strokes fresh from US NCAA Division I tennis (Roope Kailaheimo), and a dashing EnglishPDQ ZKR‍ڑ‏G MXVW DV VRRQ ன UH GRZQ D SDLU RI DFHV DV EHW RQ VQDNH H\HV LQ WKH QH[W ERQG ன OP $GDP :DWVRQ Rejoining the team in the nick-of-time is the inscrutable Gerard Dericks: sometime PhD student sometime soldier-of-fortune, he is the oldest student athlete in

the Monday night pull being all the more impressive due to the fact that he didn’t even go out. Instead the girl was delivered rather conveniently to his bed. Wednesday night played witness to further accomplishments for this rugby boy who got an education from a rosy cheeked girl only to move onto seconds netballer, Lording it over Zoo. Finishing his night, as he did Monday however, with the LSE addition. Cricket making their Royle debut in the column this year has Taz to thank, as he disSOD\HG KLV DŕŽ‰ HFWLRQ IRU WKLV netball seconds girl against the wall in Zoo for most of the night.

Enjoying Zoo slightly less due to her accidental incarceration was lash monkey Morris, who found herself locked in the storeroom for half an hour. Her ordeal no doubt being made PRUH VXŕŽ‰ HUDEOH E\ KDYLQJ WKH company of a geordie fresher. Rugby boys tend to enjoy stripping on campus but after his strip tease last week, this Pinnup boy wanted to take it a step further. He left Zoo with his girlfriend, women’s rugby captain, but didn’t have the intention of heading home like the other pairings. Instead they headed back to LSE or PRUH VSHFLன FDOO\ WKH OLEUDU\ IRU some after hours fun on campus. Whether or not the couple

the UK this side of a care-home, with an anachronistic serve-and-volley game and sense of style to match. This rag-tag team is captained by none other than the highest-ranked undergrad in the country, Chris Anguelov. Undefeated in three years of league and cup play and with a lefty forehand that frequently skirts H[WUD GLPHQVLRQV RI VSDFH WLPH &KULV KDV LPSDUWHG his Spartan work ethic to the team. 7KLV VHDVRQ GHVSLWH UHQHZHG WHQVLRQV LQ WKH ன UVW division with Brighton University and Imperial College (the latter giving us a single used ball for four players to warm up with while the rest of their team cracked new cans, before we disposed of them 10 WKH PHQ‍ڑ‏V ன UVW WHDP KDV QRZ JRQH XQGHIHDWHG IRU WZR \HDUV HOLPLQDWLQJ ([HWHU LQ D ZHOO FRQWHVW HG &XS VHPL ன QDO DQG WKHQ RQO\ ODVW ZHHN WDVWLQJ sweet revenge by clinching the league crown with an overpowering 12-0 win away over Brighton. After 15 gruelling ties, our calendar is now left with just three SLYRWDO VHDVRQ GHன QLQJ ன [WXUHV ‍ ڋ‏RXU 7URSK\ )LQDO DQG WZR 3UHPLHU /HDJXH SOD\ RŕŽ‰ WLHV ‍ ڋ‏EHIRUH D JODP orous curtain-closing friendly away to Cambridge. It has truly been an incredible, golden period of success for the team, and a righteous reward for unprecedented levels of commitment that has fostered an unbreakable bond and spirit within the group – travelling via three modes of transport for over one hour from campus to get to trainings at 7pm-9pm four evenings a week, enduring gruelling biweekly ன WQHVV FLUFXLWV DQG WUDYHOOLQJ XS DQG GRZQ WKH FRXQ try every Wednesday for matches is tough on its own; but doing so whilst simultaneously balancing an LSE workload is certainly admirable. Indeed, our story LV EHJLQQLQJ WR YLQGLFDWH RXU SKLORVRSK\ WKDW H[WUD curricular success and academic achievement can be complimentary, and we hope to inspire other clubs and societies into increasing the dedication and professionalism of their activities too! But of course it’s not been all backboards and backhands‌ there’s been plenty of banter and backhanders as well. In addition to our widely acclaimed Royal entourage entrance at the AU Carol, including a ‘pregnant Kate’ and a cross-dressing Queen Elizabeth II (James Johnson, our invaluable club captain, who has overseen the radical changes within the club QHFHVVDU\ WR WUDQVIRUP D ŕŽ‹ RXQGHULQJ UHOHJDWHG FOXE into national leaders), the tennis team is also known for its wild nights of gender- bending mayhem, confrontations with police, and the odd public rap battle

DFWXDOO\ PDQDJHG WR KDYH VH[ in the library is unknown but FUHGLW VKRXOG GHன QLWHO\ EH JLY en for their intention to. $QRWKHU H[KLELWLRQLVW WKLV time from football, was Haigh’s twin whose use of snapchat left nothing to the imagination, I’m sure he was relieved that Zoo reached its usual high temperatures. Not to be molliecoddlied, this women’s rugby fresher pulled American footballer DG. Milk Josh brought one second team netballer back to his PLFH LQIHVWHG WRIX ŕŽ‹ DW There has been much speculation as to the girl responsible for the hickey on BJ’s neck but there are suspicions that

ன UVW WHDP KDYH D ORQJ H[SOD nation. Equally mysterious is the girl that rugby fresher CM took home on Wednesday, unusual for the rugby club to be able to keep a secret. With the end of term fast approaching and the end of a Zoo era for our third years coming too soon for most, you would all be advised to make the most of the promiscuous time you have left. AU Ball and &OXE 'LQQHUV RŕŽ‰ HU \RXU ODVW opportunities to pull that certain someone you’ve had your H\H RQ DOO \HDU RU MXVW WR ன QG someone present and willing. The workplace is not the place for such shameless activities so enjoy it while you still can.

Sport

32

Sport

12.03.2013

| The Beaver

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It is said that true champions possess a desire, a dream and a vision. Many wouldn’t believe that a university like LSE would have any, let alone 11. But we’re LSEWHC 1sts. Oiled cogs in a winning machine, and this is our season. Undefeated. Undrawn. Top of the league. Promoted. Maximum points. ,W ZDVQ‍ڑ‏W H[SHFWHG ,Q RXU ன UVW game we came back from 2:0 down to win 3-2. We’d tasted victory. After this game we knew this team was special but little did we know just how special we were going to be. Fast, elegant and cohesive, almost as versatile as Steph RXU WHQDFLRXV OHIW PLGன HOGHU ZKR scores goals and drifts past the opposition at will. For the next four games we destroyed all comers. Including Brighton DZD\ ZKHUH ZH WRRN IRXU GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW WD[ LV DQG HQGHG XS DW IRXU GLŕŽ‰ HUHQW SLWFK es, none of which was the right one. Largely down to the open to interpretation instruction of ‘To The Hockey Pitch.’ Lizzie, AKA MC Craig, from the heart of the KR, proving postgrads still got it with a pint of wine put away in seconds, managed to parent us to the right location. When we eventually arrived at the designated game playing space, we ZHUH KRUULன HG WR ன QG WKDW WKH LQVSLUD tion for our own kit was being worn by the opposition. Cue a confusing disarray of bibs usually donned in an inferior, and somewhat stationary, sport. Regardless, we cast our logistical failings aside to put in a formidable match winning performance, including a top corner reverse stick goal from player

RI WKH PDWFK $OLFH D KROGLQJ PLGன HOG er of the highest quality, capable of extreme skill with an uncanny knack of being exactly where she is needed. Which is everywhere. As we started to realise just how talented we really were, we started to see parallels between us and another team. The glorious Olympic gold winning Dutch team. Ilse and Sophie our Left and Right Back are actually dutch and play like it, marauding forward at every opportunity, and steamrollering the opposition wingers. WARNING ALL UMPIRES: They will not be tamed, and are not impressed by your cards. Like the Dutch team our team are skilful, quick, strong, and sexy. It was night of Halloween, the Tuns was ablaze with a golden glow and the whole of the LSE AU were stunned by the arrival of the Dutch queens: we proved ourselves to not only be a force on the pitch, but the dominating force in zoo bar. However there was another undefeated team, a team that had the ability to take away our dream, question our desire and dampen our vision. That team was the Kingston Cougars. We knew this was make or break, we knew you get only one shot before that moment goes by, when promotion is on the line. The team were put through a rigorous training schedule that included a drinking ban, and numerous sprints up primrose hill. We were ready to become champions. The day of the match‌ It was easy: we scored within minutes with a manoeuvre we’ve mastered. Foxy and Sabby have been playing for three years side by side, silently forging a

supreme psychological connection. Right wing masterplay from the pair, punishing the opposition with blistering speed and a lifted cross to the back post. Bang 1-0. Celebrations were wild, but it wasn’t won yet. Second half, emotions running high, dirty tactics ensued. A cougar centre back wipeout of Chloe ‘the real social ginger’ Wetherall running, incredibly, faster than she can drink, led to a cracked rib. She played on regardless, she knew that pain was just weakness leaving the body and set up Sabs through one-on-one with the JRDOLH ,QFUHGLEOH ன QLVKLQJ IURP WKH top goal scorer - take note Josh Stacey. We continued our search for a challenge in LT. Rooky goalie KK had showed true class with week after week improvement, due to reassurance from America superstar Greta Witter’s commanding displays. Solidity at the back earned us win DIWHU ZLQ DQG ZH ZHUH ன QDOO\ WHVWHG LQ the Brighton Game, AKA the game we almost drew. Usual convention went out the window, as the entire forward OLQH VXŕŽ‰ HUHG DQ XQIRUWXQDWH SDQLF DW tack as we pondered our missed chances and descended upon our own D to ‘help’ the defence out. Leading the defence from the front was Alicja, our most improved fresher, totally commitWHG WR WKH KRFNH\ FDXVH RQ DQG RŕŽ‰ WKH pitch (watch this space BNOC rising). Short Corners and Free Hits were conceded liberally, as the more experienced players lost their cool. Chaos. At this dark time a hero emerged, Captain Hamer hauled her team out of the pit of mental despair which we were all lost in and mar-

shalled the defence to protect our slender 4-3 lead. Really Outstanding Sensational Incredible Excellent = Rosie, our phenomenal Captain. The beating heart of our team, at the core of every move, the provider of every goal. Thank you Rosie, without you and your rolling eyes, our lives would not be the same. Importantly, 3 points secured in time for Cougars round 2. Knowing a win would put us comSOHWHO\ RXW RI UHDFK FRQன GHQFH ZDV ŕŽ‹ \ ing high. True champions win in style with an absolute belter converted by Foxy to make it 2- 1. Big occasion. Big JRDO $ WUXH WHDP HŕŽ‰ RUW ZKLFK LQFOXGHG every player, pass, pass, pass, out to 5RVLH ZKR ன UHG WKH EDOO LQ WR %HFN\ running on the overlap who provided WKH ன QDO WRXFK RYHU WKH JRDOLH The crowd went mad. The umpires went mad. The team went mad. The opposition unfortunately went mad and we found ourselves the victims of hateful abuse, hurled by our not so successful league-mates. There is one amongst us however, that repeatedly defends our honour with scathing wit: “Just Go Homeâ€? (whilst we are playing away) and cut-throat comebacks “she is NOT a bitchâ€?. Mess with Hockey, mess with Sammy. Stellar individuals, blinding performances: the Invincibles. We could talk about this all day but we think the statistics speak for themselves: scored 30 goals, let in 6. Won every game. The UN has us on watch because we possess weapons of mass destruction. If you ain’t Dutch you ain’t much, and as we are much we are clearly Dutch. The end.

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