Buzz Magazine: Jan. 12, 2012 by Buzz Magazine

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week of january 12, 2012

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z buz There are

VOL10 NO 2

JANUARY 12, 2012

w eekly

IN THIS ISSUE HANDY WITH CANDY THE AURACLE

days in a week

7 ThEre are

e ac h

of those

365

YOUNG ADULT

to do

of things

TONS

We have

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Reviewing Charlize Theron’s latest

TODD BARRY

Coming to Canopy Club this Saturday

QUIDDITCH 5 ON READBUZZ.COM COMMUNITY Life is all about being the person you want to be, and being an individual. Find out how to be “You-nique” in Karolina’s column, online each week.

MOVIES & TV Check out all our misjudged movie analyses in our misjudged movies column this week!

FOOD & DRINK School’s in session. Get ready for a whole new semester of Food & Drink.

days

THE217.COM

buzz chats with a professional aura reader

Weeks in a year.

And on

Make your favorites at home!

MUSIC

Check out a new Records We Missed and a new Records We Dissed.

CALENDAR

Your guide to this week’s events in CU

EDITOR’S NOTE DYLAN SUTCLIFF

By my count, I’ve written over 40 of these notes, two of which have been about Speed Racer. After a quick look at a calculator (a sad but accurate example of my mathematical prowess), the number comes out to about 5% — not enough. Luckily, I have exciting news: The date for the buzzsponsored showing of Speed Racer at The Art Theater has been announced! Starting Friday, February 17 and ending Thursday, February 23, the Art will be revving the engines of the Mach 5 (and 6) as Speed and the rest of the Racer family race against big business, the media and ultimately the Man! This is obviously VERY exciting for a schmuck like myself as never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have the pleasure of seeing the 2008 film on the big screen again. Of course, the Art has my money for every single night, but as Sanford is putting the film on as a result of my direct request, I’m a bit scared that no one will show. Despite being made by experienced and well-known filmmakers The Wachowskis (The Matrix Trilogy), having an all-star cast (Emile Hirsch, Susan Sarandon, John Goodman, Christina Ricci, Mathew Fox) and a budget of over 120 million dollars: absolutely NO ONE saw it in theaters or afterward. You can find it in bargain bins everywhere. So how do we learn from the mistakes of the past? I will be asking this question many times over as I attempt to spread the love of Speed Racer beyond my living room couch. One thing I cannot stress enough, though, is my appreciation to Sanford Hess and The Art Theater. As one of my favorite establishments in CU and the world beyond, it will be more than rewarding to see Speed duke it out in a theater I know so well. I find it very unfortunate that the business will be transitioning into a co-op; however, even after the move, I still plan to attend the spot regularly. I must also mention that Speed Racer will be but one piece of The Art’s costume month! The other movies have yet to be announced, but if you wear a costume relating to the film, you get free popcorn! My grandma made me a Speed Racer costume two years ago, and I can’t wear it enough. Free popcorn only sweetens the deal!

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LIKES

HEADS

UP!

JANUARY 12 - 18, 2012

GRIPES

ADAM BARNETT MUSIC EDITOR

LIKES

FRIDAY THE 13TH by Thomas Thoren

BUZZ STAFF

COVER DESIGN Olivia La Faire EDITOR IN CHIEF Dylan Sutcliff MANAGING EDITOR Peggy Fioretti ART DIRECTOR Olivia La Faire COPY CHIEF Drew Hatcher PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Sean O’Connor IMAGE EDITOR Peggy Fioretti PHOTOGRAPHERS Sean O’Connor MUSIC EDITOR Adam Barnett FOOD & DRINK EDITOR Samantha Bakall MOVIES & TV EDITOR Nick Martin ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Tracy Woodley COMMUNITY EDITOR Amy Harwath CU CALENDAR Dylan Sutcliff COPY EDITORS Sarah Alo, Casey McCoy ONLINE EDITOR Jessica Bourque DISTRIBUTION Brandi and Steve Wills EDITORIAL ADVISER Marissa Monson PUBLISHER Lilyan J. Levant

TALK TO BUZZ

Warning to Illinois students: this Friday, Jan. 13, might not only be the last Friday of your winter break; it could also be the last of your entire life. Rumors circulating around town say a slow-moving killer with a frighteningly plain name and a serious lack of hustle has it in for you and your log cabin buddies as you return to campus. The menace’s mother was recently relieved of her head, and her son appears to be displeased, judging by his recent spike in machete-related activities. Officials are advising that people simply use common sense to outsmart the vengeful terrorizer and make their way to safety, which does NOT mean the center of any nearby frozen lakes. Kidding! I’m only kidding about the whole maniac-with-a-machete thing, though, because this Friday is indeed the 13th day of the month. This date may be enough to unnerve you, but there is no need to be frightened because it takes place at least once per year and can pop up as often as three times in a year. This year, for example, will have two more instances in April and July. Still, though, do be careful this Friday and stay away from any abnormally tall boys wearing clothes that have been out of style for 20 years. You definitely do not want to have a giant machete scar across your face when you introduce yourself to your classmates on the first day of classes. That’s just unbecoming.

ON THE WEB www.readbuzz.com EMAIL buzz@readbuzz.com WRITE 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL 217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © ILLINI MEDIA COMPANY 2011

» Foam soap - Remember “liquid soap”? That stupidly viscous but not very effective stuff you would pour on your hands after you peed, and it wouldn’t smell very good, and it was impossible to get out, and I HATED IT I HATED IT I HATED IT. Now that most washrooms have begun using foam soap, I’m a happy camper because it’s so much fun and doesn’t smell bad. In fact, I’d make the argument that it smells... good! But now we’ve got stuff like foam hand sanitizer. What’s up with that? I hate that stuff. It doesn’t even have that strong smell I’ve come to know and love from hand sanitizer. Or foam that comes from the mouths of rabid animals. It looks like soap, but it’s not, and then you get your hand bitten, and then you get rabies. I hate that. But foam soap is still pretty cool.

SEAN O’CONNOR PHOTO EDITOR

GRIPES

» Getting shit for liking Coldplay: I blame this widespread oppression of Coldplay fans on the success of the 2005 film The 40-Year-Old Virgin. The infamous “You know how I know you’re gay?” line that changed the lives of Coldplay fans forever, setting them up for years of humiliation by their high school peers and immature adult friends. I won’t stand for it. Have you ever listened to the Prospekt’s March EP? There’s at least 4 songs on there that can make me cry. » Wasabi in my eye: A new Fresh Market opened up in my hometown last week, so I stopped in for a pound of wasabi peas. I’m sitting on my couch eating them, and unbeknownst to me, the wasabi is sticking to my fingers like cheese on Cheetos. At one point, I go to scratch my eye and rub a finger’s worth of wasabi into my eyeball. It didn’t feel very good, so I put on the Prospekt’s March EP to try and cry out some of the wasabi. » 200 days and 11 minutes: That’s how much longer I have to go without Olympics in my life. I only buy a calendar for Olympic years because looking at an entire calendar with no Olympic dates bolded, circled and highlighted on it is just too much for my fragile heart to handle. I become downright maniacal come Olympic season. Losing sleep from staying up all night streaming the semi-final curling match between Russia and Czechoslovakia on MSNBC, getting into fist fights with people who said France really won the Beijing 4x100 freestyle relay (that crazy close race where Phelps won his 8th gold medal), downright ignoring my friends and family unless to discuss the day’s events. If there was an Olympic event for watching the Olympics, I would own the podium. buzz

Food

Drink

Homemade Candy Why go to the store when you can make them at home? by Jasmine Lee

very Halloween and holiday season, chocolates and candies go flying off drugstore and supermarket shelves into the waiting hands of the sweet-toothed populace. And even though places like Walgreens and Target mark down their prices, especially around the first of November, the amount of money that gets spent on chocolate and caramel goodies can (and does) add up after a few weeks of constant resupply. And that’s when the Internet proves, once again, to be the greatest tool in existence and a friend to anyone with an interest in baking. Here are recipes for homemade versions of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Oreos and Werther’s hard caramels. Surprisingly, they’re less time-consuming and difficult than anticipated.

Peanut Butter Cups Baking at home ensures that you, the cook, can choose quality ingredients; so by all means, break out the Ghirardelli and organic peanut butter for this recipe. You can tip your gourmet hats at the gloriously rich and dense final product. (Note: because these cups harden in the refrigerator, take them out and bring to room temperature before biting into them, lest you end up with a broken tooth.) » 1 cup creamy peanut butter » 1/4 cup unsalted butter » 1/4 cup light brown sugar » 1 1/4 cups powdered sugar » 4 cups milk chocolate chips (two 11.5-oz bags) » 1/4 cup vegetable shortening 1. Line a mini-muffin tin with paper liners; set aside. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper; set aside. 2. In a medium saucepan, combine the peanut butter, butter and brown sugar over medium heat. Stir constantly; heat until completely melted and starting to bubble a little. Remove from the heat. Add the powdered sugar 1/4 of a cup at a time, stirring until completely combined with the peanut butter mixture after each addition. Set aside and let cool. 3. Meanwhile, melt the chocolate chips and shortening together in the microwave in 30-second increments until completely melted, stirring after each burst.

finished with all of the peanut butter mixture, refrigerate both the muffin tins and the peanut butter patties for about 30 minutes. 6. Place a peanut butter patty on top of each chocolate-lined muffin tin. Then use a scoop or spoon to add more melted chocolate on top and around each peanut butter patty. (If the melted chocolate firmed up, just pop it back into the microwave for 30 seconds or so to re-melt.) 7. Refrigerate again for 30 minutes, and they’re ready to serve! Store in the refrigerator or freezer. Makes about 3 dozen mini peanut butter cups (Recipe from http://www.browneyedbaker. com/2011/08/02/homemade-peanut-butter-cups/)

Oreos Milk’s favorite cookie is the Oreo. And while these homemade cookies don’t really make possible the whole split-the-wafers-and-cream-innards with your buddies and the amount of shortening that goes into the cream filling is slightly terrifying, this recipe is an incredibly easy and tasty one to whip up should you be out of Oreos and short on cash. For the chocolate wafers: » 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour » 1/2 cup unsweetened Dutch process cocoa » 1 teaspoon baking soda » 1/4 teaspoon baking powder » 1/4 teaspoon salt » 1 to 1 1/2 cups sugar » 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) roomtemperature, unsalted butter » 1 large egg

4. To make the cream, place butter and shortening in a mixing bowl, and at low speed, gradually beat in the sugar and vanilla. Turn the mixer on high and beat for 2 to 3 minutes until filling is light and fluffy. 5. To assemble the cookies: in a pastry bag with a 1/2-inch, round tip, pipe teaspoon-size blobs of cream into the center of one cookie. (Or use a knife to spread a hefty scoop of filling evenly across one cookie). Place another cookie, equal in size to the first, on top of the cream. Lightly press to work the filling evenly to the outsides of the cookie. Continue this process until all the cookies have been sandwiched with cream. Makes 25 to 30 sandwich cookies

1. Set two racks in the middle of the oven. Preheat to 375°F.

This recipe seems a little daunting at first — anyone who’s burned butter can attest to the finicky nature of the stovetop — but it’s fun to see the corn syrup and butter transform into deep, dark caramel, which can either be savored by itself whilst plopped down in front of the TV during a Friends marathon or dropped into a mug of hot coffee for quick and easy caramel coffee.

4. Using a small cookie scoop or a couple of teaspoons, spoon melted chocolate into the bottom of each lined muffin cup. 5. Use a heaping teaspoon to scoop out the peanut butter mixture. Roll it into a ball, and then flatten it slightly into a disk. Place on the prepared baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Once

3. Take rounded teaspoons of batter and place on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet approximately two inches apart. With moistened hands, slightly flatten the dough. Bake for 9 minutes,

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rotating once for even baking. Set baking sheets on a rack to cool.

For the filling: » 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) room-temperature, unsalted butter » 1/4 cup vegetable shortening » 1 cup sifted confectioners’ sugar » 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2. In a food processor, or bowl of an electric mixer, thoroughly mix the flour, cocoa, baking soda and powder, salt and sugar. While pulsing or on low speed, add the butter and then the egg. Continue processing or mixing until dough comes together in a mass.

Used with permission from the Creative Commons and Cooking Gluten Free

(Recipe from http://smittenkitchen.com/2007/05/ my-kingdom-for-a-glass-of-milk/)

Hard Caramels

» Vegetable oil » 1 1/2 cups sugar » 1/4 cup light corn syrup » 1 cup heavy cream » 5 tablespoons unsalted butter

» 1 teaspoon fine fleur de sel, plus extra for sprinkling (or just coarse sea salt) » 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1. Line an 8-inch-square baking pan with parchment paper, allowing it to drape over two sides, then brush the paper lightly with oil. 2. In a deep saucepan, combine 1/4 cup water, the sugar and corn syrup and bring them to a boil over medium-high heat. Boil until the mixture is a warm golden brown. Don’t stir, just swirl the pan. 3. In the meantime, in a small pot, bring the cream, butter and 1 teaspoon of fleur de sel to a simmer over medium heat. Turn off the heat and set aside. 4. When the sugar mixture is done, turn off the heat and slowly add the cream mixture to the sugar mixture. Be careful. It will bubble up violently. Stir in the vanilla with a wooden spoon and cook over medium-low heat for about 15 minutes; the caramel should be dark brown in color. 5. Very carefully (it’s hot!) pour the caramel into the prepared pan. Sprinkle with salt. Let rest on counter until cool to touch, then refrigerate for a few hours until firm. 6. When the caramel is cold, pry the sheet from the pan onto a cutting board. Using a hammer or the bottom of a fry pan, hit the caramel into small, bite-sized pieces. 7. Store in refrigerator until ready to serve. (Adapted from http://www.foodnetwork.com/ recipes/ina-garten/fleur-de-sel-caramelsrecipe2/index.html)

arts

entertainment

THE GAME YOU NEVER KNEW ACTUALLY EXISTED

That’s right—Quidditch.

by theArts and Entertainment staff lthough U of I may not have towering steeples, changing staircases or talking pictures, Allen Hall has managed to put a team together of the toughest, roughest and nerdiest die-hard Harry Potter fans in order to bring the magic to campus. Although attempts at creating actual flying capabilities have been unsuccessful, they have made do with their Muggle ways in adapting the game into a suitable form for students. Originally created in 2005 by Middlebury College in Vermont, Muggle Quidditch has spread like wildfire to college campuses across the country. The popularity of the sport has expanded into an International Quidditch Association, which hosts its very own world cup every year in NYC. The organization has grown to include 100 collegiate teams, one of which is our close neighbor, Illinois State University. Unfortunately, U of I has only just recently formed an informal Quidditch team. As they hone their skills and polish their broomsticks, however, they hope to eventually evolve into an official team and compete for the cup. At the beginning of the semester Tyler Cochrane and a few other Potter patrons gathered what broomsticks they could steal from janitorial closets, odd hula hoops, deflated volleyballs and dodgeballs to play the first ever Quidditch game on the south quad of campus. As the semester has gone on, they’ve accumulated an odd mix of Allen Hall residents into their group, although

THEATRE

anyone interested is welcome. Tyler describes it as, “an interesting combination of nerdy and athletic.” The group now meets weekly for a game down on the south rec fields behind PAR. So how exactly does this work? Fourteen players, two teams, one goal — snatch the Snitch and win the game. As the students who have gathered split themselves into two teams, the first things that must be decided are team names. After a coin toss, President Tyler says without hesitation that the winning team must absolutely always remain “Motherfucking Gryffindor,” while the losing team can then choose between regular Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. After the teams are chosen, they are then able to construct their Quidditch field with the equipment they have confiscated. The hula hoops are assembled with duct tape and string to stand as goals on either side of the field. The deflated volleyball (which acts as the Quaffle) and the dodgeballs (which act as Bludgers) are then placed in the middle of the field. Though these slight adaptations seem sufficient in a magic-free world, how on earth can they get a golden ball to fly around? That problem is easily solved by a piece of flag football equipment. The flag belt is stripped down to leave only one yellow flag which the Snitch runner will strap around his or her waist at the start of the game. Now as the teams are finally ready to play, they grab their broomsticks, mount and fly in for the kill. The snitch runs up and down field avoiding seekers

review

by Syd Slobodnik There was a time, a decade or more ago, when several anxious critics felt the Steppenwolf Theatre group had lost its edge. Many of its founding members (John Malkovich, Gary Sinise, Joan Allen, Laurie Metcalf, John Mahoney) made it big in Hollywood or television and only made occasional return guest appearances in the company’s shows. Some believed that Steppenwolf lost far too much by having many of its members gain in celebrity.

The Keeper saves a goal attempt by an opposing Chaser. Photo by Anthony Rohrer

from both teams as the rest of the members attempt to score smaller points by sending the Quaffle through the hula-hoops on opposing ends. The game, usually lasting 30-45 minutes, either ends once a team scores 50 points or the Snitch is stolen. “Quidditch is actually really tiring. That’s why I enjoy it so much. It’s a fun game with friends but lets me get a good workout in, too,” says member Jon Tracey. Like flag football, ultimate Frisbee or kickball, Quidditch demands an immense amount of physical activity. Going to the ARC every day can be

a drag; step on the treadmill, press begin, and watch crappy daytime TV for an hour. Days of this routine become bland and eventually unappealing altogether. But by playing a game that incorporates pop culture, the Quidditch team offers a fun way to get some exercise while putting all those useless spells you’ve memorized to good use. Members of the team take great pride in their Harry Potter patriotism. Tyler says, “I can quote a lot of the books and make tons of nerdy references. It’s awesome.” A magical game brought to life; Muggle Quidditch!

depending on what each individual’s background and expectations are. For some, the situations and humor are just too ridiculous and lack focus. Others with more knowledge of the Greek legend and some 1960s popular culture may find the play brilliantly insightful. According to the legendary tale, Penelope waited 10 years for her husband while he fought in the Trojan War and waited ten more years for him to return home. Remaining ever faithful, she resisted the advances of over 100 potential suitors. When many of these suitors began to be more insistent, she agreed she’d select one to marry once she was able to finish weaving a shroud for Odysseus’ father. Each day, she would weave and undo the weaves at night to prolong the process. Walsh’s Penelope concerns four of Penelope’s suitors who are living in the bottom of an empty swimming pool. Overlooking them some 15 feet about the stage is a shaded living room window where the attractive Penelope stays speechlessly observing their actions and occasional appeals for her affection. The four men of the play each represent a type of man at a different stage of life, one in his 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s. As the play opens, they appear to be planning a picnic-like cookout. Each are somewhat gross and pathetic in their outward appearances; each wears either an ill-fitting Speedo

or covers a well-formed belly in a bathrobe. Burns, in his 30s, mourns an old friend who committed suicide; Quinn, in his 40s, is seemingly more powerful and assertive, frequently lifting his barbells; Dunne, in his 50s, is in the autumn of his life and likes a good stiff drink; Fitz, in his 60s, seeks simple comforts. Each are effectively played with various levels of comedic skill by Steppenwolf and Chicago area veterans Ian Barford (Burns), Scott Jaeck (Dunne), Tracey Letts (Fitz) and Yasen Peyankov (Quinn). Logan Vaughn is the graceful, ever-watchful but silent Penelope. Some audience members will not comprehend many of the deeper references to the legends of Odysseus and modern parallels of issues related to love and war; younger members might not get the frequent references to the popular ‘60s show The Dating Game and the Herb Alpert music, but many will at least find the humor appealing and refreshing.

Penelope

Used with permission from Steppenwolf Theater

But no one can accuse Steppenwolf of producing just mainstream theatre. Their present production of Irish playwright Enda Walsh’s Penelope proves this without a doubt. Penelope is an unusual modern telling of a Greek mythological character, the faithful wife of Odysseus. The Steppenwolf’s production of Penelope, directed by Amy Morton, is a comedy of absurd extremes that will affect audiences very differently

briefbox

Steppenwolf Theatre 1650 N. Halsted St. in Chicago For Ticket information contact the ticket office at 312-335-1650. Online ticketing is available at www.steppenwolf.org.

buzz

I see your true colors

Deb Hart uses the rainbow to read auras

by Ellie Brzezenski

ave you ever had an instant dislike for someone? Do you find that some people excite or energize you? Do certain sounds, colors and fragrances make you feel uncomfortable? Do you associate certain colors with specific people? If your answer is yes to any of these, then you may have experienced auric energy. The aura is a culmination of the different types of energies and colors we give off due to our emotional, physical, spiritual and mental well-beings. Deb Hart, a woman of many talents who has a gift for holistic healing and what some may call psychic or paranormal abilities, gives aura readings. Now before you discredit this article or get the image from some scary movie stuck in your mind of a dark back room decorated with candles and other eerie objects, keep this in mind: Deb is an extremely warm and friendly individual. Dressed in bright colors and a welcoming smile, she talks to people as if they’ve been friends for ages, not just meeting for a first or second time. She does not speak in cryptic messages or broad generalizations and instead chooses to crack jokes and tell stories. “I think everyone has to develop your intuition for how you read stuff,” she said. “And while there are certain similarities between authors, that doesn’t mean they’re right. What I found in reading different types of books is that there are authors that

come from a very ominous and fear-based perspective, and I don’t like to be around those people. So I’m not going to read colors that way.” During a reading, Deb first asks people to choose four of their favorite colors from a selection of color pencils. Based on their selections and aura, she draws a picture. “People’s auras change all the time,” she explained. “That’s why a lot of people think it’s not scientific — because it changes. It’s not reproducible in a lab, which makes it not real to them. Your auras are always changing. They’re always fluid [because] your moods change, don’t they?” Through her many endeavors — as a nurse, a clown, a laugh therapist and a healer — Deb has learned to read people‘s colors, to understand the energy they give off and use them as an aid in her work. “I firmly believe you know your aura better than I do,” she said. “You’re going to tell me something by the colors that you choose. And you’re also asking me something by the colors that you choose — you want me to read these colors [specifically].” But what does each color mean? According to Deb, each color relates to a type of energy and a location on the body. “Red [at your feet] is the primal life force. We need red because that’s blood and physical relationships. The next color, orange, is creativity (located in your sex organs). Orange

Used with permsion from the Creative Commons and R@jeev

has to do with prosperity, creativity, a certain creative energy that you put out in the world. While red connects you to the earth, orange connects you outwardly to things. It’s your sensual energy vs. your sexual energy. Yellow (representing the stomach) is the sunshine breadbasket where you get your gut feelings. And green — now there’s light green and dark green — green is from the heart. Spring green is like a newly budding love, [while] dark green is usually a wise old relationship. In your throat is light blue, which represents your speaking voice. That is what you put out [to

the world]. That is your truth. Then right here,” she said, pointing to the space between her eyes, “is darker blue. That is your intuition, your third eye. Then right here (at the top of the head) is dark purple or violet, and that is connected to spirit. You are an inverted rainbow.” Perhaps there is a reason people are drawn to each other, why certain things go naturally together and why certain colors seem to identify us. What you choose to believe and understand is up to you. This is only one picture, admittedly a very small picture, of what people understand about auras.

the girl with the discreet tattoo Want to get a tatt, but not sure where? Erin’s got some advice. by Erin Maturo The stigma held about people with tattoos is an unfortunate one. Yes, it is easy to make assumptions about someone who has sleeves of tattoos, but I find them to be a meaningful form of art. I myself have two tattoos, and I know plenty of very good people that share my love of ink. So, if you’re thinking about getting a tattoo but want to avoid the negative stereotypes that come along with it, here are a few tips to help you out. First, make the tattoo meaningful. So many people don’t give themselves enough time to think, and too much ink goes in without the tattoo-receiver being 100 percent sure it’s what he or she wants. Do not get a tattoo just to get a tattoo. Unlike most other things, tattoos are permanent and will be part of your life and your body forever. Therefore, tattoos should be something of meaning. For example, my foot tattoo is a bible verse that is not only one I live by, but it also reminds me of a mission trip to Africa I went on in high school and the lessons I learned there. You shouldn’t ask yourself the question, “What should I get a tattoo of,” but instead you should be inspired to get a tattoo by an event, a person, etc. Next, you must be wise about the placement of your tattoo. The main thing to consider is what type of job you have now and/or what type of job you will one day be applying for. If you’re planning on being a businessman or a model, you may not want to get 6

buzz

a tattoo that will be blatantly visible. The easiest concealed spots are parts of the body that can be covered by all types of clothing. You can think outside of the box on this one, too. I have a small tattoo on the inside of my finger that is easily hidden by a ring. Though employers should not discriminate based on the fact you have a tattoo, they can and most likely will, so make this decision wisely. Once you’ve decided you want to tattoo something on your body and you’ve chosen a place to put it, give yourself time to be positive it’s what you want. After creating a design, I’d suggest giving yourself a full year to make sure you truly want it. Take the design and hang it somewhere you will see it every day, such as a mirror or your refrigerator. You can even go as far as drawing the design on the desired area, and if after a year you’re not sick of it and you still want it, then make your appointment. Don’t be discouraged if you end up not liking it; it’s definitely better you found out before making it permanent. By following these few guidelines before making a lifelong commitment with a tattoo, you are unlikely to regret your decision. I love my tattoos, and I know I will for the rest of my life. I hope you, too, can enjoy a tattoo, but remember: only get one if it’s truly, undeniably something you want to do. And don’t tell your mother I gave you the idea.

Used with permission from the Creative Commons

I will only kiss you if we are in a tree!

JANUARY

CU Sound off Where would you rather be right now? by Hannah Pitstick

KR ANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS

FR JAN 13

10am

TH JAN 26

Dance for People with Parkinson’s

// Marquee

SU JAN 15

ife without teleportation is frustrating. People all across campus are secretly wishing they could be somewhere else right now; but they just can’t because science has failed us. One thing I have discovered is that January is a pretty awful time to be living in central Illinois. Personally, I’d rather be in New York City because at least there I could freeze glamorously.

5pm

MLK Commemoration: A Service of Celebration Event // University of Illinois Office

5pm

Krannert Uncorked

7pm

Moscow Festival Ballet: The Sleeping Beauty // Marquee

7:30pm

William Kinderman, piano

of the Vice Chancellor for Public Engagement

7:30pm

TH JAN 19

5pm

Krannert Uncorked with Hot Slugs, fusion // Marquee

Grad Student

7:30pm

10am

Royal Philharmonic Orchestra with Jean-Yves Thibaudet, piano // Marquee

Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra Pre-concert Discussion with Steven Larsen

7:30pm

Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra: Dances and Romances // Champaign-Urbana

Carla Gruby

Afterglow: Desafinado

// Marquee

Freshman in Dance

Damine Kabuki

// Marquee

MO JAN 23

7:30pm

Moscow Festival Ballet: Swan Lake // Marquee

7:30pm “Jamaica, sitting in the sun and getting my hair braided.”

Becka Dankovich

Young Concert Artists Winner: Benjamin Beilman, violin // Marquee

THESE SPONSORS MAKE GOOD STUFF HAPPEN:

Ian Hobson Presents the Complete Solo Piano Works of Robert Schumann: Fantasies, Smith Memorial Hall, 805 S. Mathews, Urbana // School of Music TU JAN 24

7pm

3pm

Royal Philharmonic Orchestra with Jean-Yves Thibaudet, piano In remembrance of Marilyn Pflederer Zimmerman & Vernon K. Zimmerman, Endowed Sponsorship Claudia Reich & Gary Olsen Anonymous Cecile & Allan Steinberg Anonymous

SU JAN 22

3pm

// Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra

SU JAN 29

About 9:30pm

// School of Music

6:30pm

MLK Community Celebration and Writing Contest Presentation // University of Illinois Royal Philharmonic Orchestra with Jean-Yves Thibaudet, piano // Marquee

// School of Music

SA JAN 28

Symphony Orchestra

7:30pm

“Home in Texas”

Philipp Blume, composer

SA JAN 21

Office of the Vice Chancellor for Public Engagement

// Marquee

FR JAN 27

FR JAN 20

Audrey Neville

readbuzz.com january 12 - 18, 2012

2012(JAN12)3QUARTER(BUZZ)

Illinois Brass Quintet

Afterglow: Desafinado Anonymous Damine Kabuki

// School of Music

WE JAN 25

7pm

Moscow Festival Ballet: Swan Lake

7:30pm

Reid Alexander, piano

// Marquee

// School of Music

Freshman in Dance

Damine Kabuki has received supporting funds from the Hakuho Foundation, the Mitsui Sumitomo Insurance Cultural Foundation, Nippon Express, the Arlington Heights School District, and the Japan Information Center of the Consulate General of Japan at Chicago

Moscow Festival Ballet Jane Bishop Hobgood Anonymous

Craig Sutter

C A L L 3 3 3 . 6 2 8 0 s 1. 8 0 0 . K C P A T I X

Corporate Power Train Team Engine

“In Ireland talking with Irish boys and drinking heavily.”

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council—a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

40 North and Krannert Center —working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

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MUSIC

Take cover! The 21st Great Cover Up bombards CU with four days of musicians gone tribute-band by Adam Barnett here’s a sort of charm that accompanies a cover band. In the thoughts of our Film and TV Editor Nick Martin, concerts featuring tribute bands allow show-goers to picture a band that would only play larger-than-life stadiums for larger-than-life prices in a local setting like a small bar or club. Sure, it’s not the same thing, but that super-cool Trans-Siberian Orchestra is kind of a cover band, right (and everyone loves them because of that ridiculous electric guitar over all of your holiday favorites)? It’s about adding a bit of your own style to place something a bit older into a new perspective. And Champaign-Urbana seems to love that. Just in the past few months, Exile on Main St. has hosted two events in which local bands lined up to cover songs by Tom Waits for the release of his new record Bad As Me and the Smashing Pumpkins for their 2011 reissues. It’s a fun way for our rich local scene to pay tribute to what some may call the greatest artists of all time. But those events, awesome as they were, just subtly led up to one of Champaign-Urbana’s biggest musical events of the year: The Great Cover Up. Local bands from all genres and scenes come together for a few days to play the music of some of the greats (or possibly some of the goofy-greats); they’re all tribute bands for one night out of the year. According to the official Facebook page, graphic designer Dave Landis for the prominent CU band Didjits came up with the idea of the Great Cover Up to raise money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, and from the start, every band asked was “on board.” The first two Cover Ups in ’91 and ‘92 at the old Blind Pig saw six bands covering bands from Devo to the Doors, AC/DC to Prince. For those first two years, “[t]he line to get in the bar was out the door and down the block.” So it only makes sense that the event has been expanding ever since. Coordination of the Great Cover Up has since transferred to Ward Gollings. The whole event now takes place at the Highdive, and there are almost 30 bands performing over the span of four nights as opposed to six over one. Since 2005, the Great Cover Up has mostly consisted of three nights, but this year, Gollings decided to add an extra Saturday, making the event four days: January 14, 15, 17 and 19 (Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday, respectively). “I tried four nights once back in 2002 as I just had too many bands worthy of getting the nod,” Gollings recalled. “Same thing happened this year, and I just couldn’t cut it down to 21 (3 nights x 7 bands). So I decided, ‘What the heck?’ I’ve got this Saturday… sitting open. The more the merrier is my motto, generally.” This year, we can expect sets from bands like The Dirty Feathers, Evil Tents, Sun Stereo and the Palace Flophouse (full lineup listed in the sidebar), but you’d be hard-pressed to find out who is covering whom; that’s something you don’t find out until the bands play. I couldn’t even get a hint out of Gollings. “Wish I could, but it’s all ‘in the vault,’ so to speak,” he responded. 8

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Each set is around 20 minutes, with seven bands each day. As far as selecting the bands goes, the process is relatively straightforward. “Bands who played the previous year (and are still active) are basically welcomed back with open arms,” Gollings explained. “From there, I just try to fill in the six to ten vacated slots with the up-and-coming groups that I feel are a) really talented and b) quite active in the local scene.” Who the bands cover is completely up to their discretion for the most part, allowing each band to completely immerse itself in the set, whether that includes wearing ridiculously tight leather pants or wigs that droop down to the floor, or screaming lungs out to power ballads or 80s pop. Because “all bands use the same drum kit and bass rig,” the Great Cover Up is nonstop music for all four days, so the energy never dies down. The crowd and the performers equally get into it; people scream; people dance; people heckle; everyone goes crazy because it’s all one big music community supporting everyone in it. In addition to supporting the local scene, all of the proceeds go to a different regional charity each year. This year, the money raised by the event goes to Champaign County Health Care Consumers. Gollings said that the selection of a charity is pretty random at this point in time, but there are some things to consider. “Some people will approach or solicit me for consideration throughout the year,” Gollings said. “Some ideas are just basically sitting on the backburner of my brain. Some ideas just pop up at the last minute, such as a relief fund for a huge natural disaster. Eventually, I process it all and arrive at a decision. I often try to make it music-related such as WEFT last year or not-for-profits that help kids get instruments or lessons.” With 21 years notched in its belt, the Great Cover Up definitely has some history behind it. We’ve seen bands like Braid perform as R.E.M. and the Smiths, and Sarge took on Nirvana with Castor in 1999. Honcho Overload’s performance as The Village People has been noted as one of the funniest moments in Cover Up history. Last year saw musicians covering Arcade Fire, Panic! At the Disco and even “WPGU circa 1993.” There’s no doubt that this year will hold some incredible surprises by some ridiculously rad local bands. And it starts on the last weekend of Winter Break, so it only makes sense to end a long, dull, most likely unproductive vacation on a high note. Fun fact — you know that guy putting his hands up in the shape of two “Vs” in the flyer? That’s Richard Nixon, according to Gollings. His logic: “Richard Nixon. Watergate. Great Cover Up.”

briefbox

The Highdive

302 W.Anthony Drive Champaign, IL When: Jan. 14, 15, 17, 18; doors open at 8 p.m.; show starts at 9 Cost: $7 at the door; $15 for a three-day pass; $20 for all four days Ages: 19+

PopGun5 as Green Day performing at the 19th annual "Great Cover Up". Photo by James Kyung

The 19th Annual Great Cover Up benefit concert. Photos by James Kyung

For more information, Smile Politely has an article detailing the history of the Great Cover Up from the perspective of performers and others, or you can check out the official Facebook page by searching “The Great Cover Up (Champaign IL).”

Scathe Kayla Brown & Amiel The Palace Flophouse Missing The Point Vanattica

LINEUP

Roberta Sparrow Midstress/CU Collective Scurvine Jet W Lee Evil Tents Withnail Tommy G

Sunday 1/14 Brother Embassy Amy Mitchell Lonely Trailer Double Standard Practice Trailer Park Moses Carnivale Debauche

Sunday 1/15 Mike Ingram Temple Of Low Men

Tuesday 1/17

Thursday 1/19 Hathaways That’s No Moon Hot Cops Sun Stereo The Dirty Feathers Terminus Victor Isaac Arms

Steel the steal.

JANUARY 12 - 18, 2012

LOW-CAL MUSIC

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WHO: Neoga Blacksmith, Devout Sinners, Manzanita Bones WHEN: Saturday, Jan. 14 @ 8:30 p.m. WHERE: Memphis on Main It’s rootsy, kind of rockabilly and totally from the Midwest (with a dash of South). Neoga Blacksmith plays a whole mess of fun music still hot even after the several months it’s been since the release of the band’s selftitled. Also playing is Bloomington bluegrass band The Devout Sinners and Manzanita Bones with some Nashville Americana.

For more information, please visit:

115 W. Main St. 2nd Floor, Urbana IL 61801

greenyogaspa.com

Used with permission from Neoga Blacksmith

WHO: Psychic Twin, Common Loon, Pat Hull WHEN: Friday, Jan. 23 @ 10:00 p.m. WHERE: Mike ‘N Molly’s COST: $5

Used with permission from Psychic Twin

If I were to choose a type of music that I had to listen to every Friday night, it would probably be some form or another of electro-pop. There’s something about all those synthesizers, hooks, bloops and bleeps that gets me every time. It’s a good thing Psychic Twin is coming by Mike ‘N Molly’s for some psychedelic twee shenanigans. Supporting them is Common Loon, yet another local duo, and folk singer-songwriter Pat Hull from Brooklyn, NY.

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO THIS MONTH: FRIDAY, JAN. 20: Victor Villareal (of Cap’n Jazz and Ghosts & Vodka) - Mike ‘N Molly’s THURSDAY, JAN. 26: CU Collective Fundraiser Show #2 - Brass Rail FRIDAY, JAN. 27: Empires - The Canopy Club FRIDAY JAN. 27: Bailiff - The Canopy Club FRIDAY, JAN. 27: Easter, Traveling, Midstress, Childbride, An Evening With Your Mother - Garfield’s Garden

NEOGA BLACKSMITH DEVOUT SINNERS MANZANITA BONES SATURDAY, JANUARY 14 COVER STARTS @ 8pM

55 E. Main St. Champaign, IL www.memphisonmain.com

Back to do it again: NEOGA BLACKSMITH The experience is central. The music is grounded at the roots. And at a time when America needs to get localized, Neoga Blacksmith lays it down on the table...and they’re all aces. -v.ewald/writer

From Bloomington-Normal: THE DEVOUT SINNERS Devout Sinners are rooted in the traditional sounds of bluegrass, while their lyrics challenge religion, politics, corporate greed, and twisted romance.

Coming up from Nashville, TN: MANZANITA BONES Check out their music on Facebook: www.facebook.com/Manzanita Bones $3 32oz “Loose Tap” Beer • $3 Dr. McGillicuddy • $7 U-Call-It Rail Quart Jars

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movies movie review

Week of Friday, January 13, 2012 through Thursday, January 19, 2012

NC-17

Shame

by Jamila Tyler

★★★★

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (R) From a 35mm print Fri: (4:30), 7:30 PM Sat: (1:30), (4:30), 7:30 PM Sun: (4:30), 7:30 PM Mon: (4:00) PM Tue: 7:30 PM Wed: (4:30), 7:30 PM Thu: 7:30 PM A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (R) From a 35mm print, 2D. Admission is $3. Fri & Sat: 10:30 PM Thu: 10:30 PM National Theatre Live: The Collaborators (NR) Digital Presentation of a staged play Sun: 1:00 PM Tue: 4:00 PM The Other America (NR) Free event: MLK speech (on video) then discussion. Mon: 7:00 PM A classic movie experience Serving beer, wine, and mixed drinks Take the CUMTD Bus www.theCUart.com

126 W. Church St. Champaign

SAVOY 16 217-355-3456

S. Neil St. (Rt. 45) at Curtis Rd.

Used with permission from Fox Searchlight Pictures

he most breathtaking shot of Steve McQueen’s second feature length film, Shame, is a tight close-up of Michael Fassbender’s face. It is the picture of utmost despair while he also experiences an orgasm. His sexual partners are just pieces of flesh. The audience does not connect to them because he does not connect to them. They are vehicles for his sexual pleasure. The sex is not an act of ecstasy, but an act of self-abuse. Shame is the story of Brandon (Michael Fassbender), a handsome upper middle class New Yorker who suffers from a sexual addiction. The AmericanBUZZ Psychiatric Association no longer considersTHURSDAY sexual addiction to be a mental disJANUARY 12

order. Regardless, Brandon clearly suffers from some type of compulsion. He lives a Spartan life filled with little pleasures; he has a bland Ikea catalogue-styled apartment; he has an office with a cubicle. We are not sure what his job is, but that is unimportant as Brandon does not seem to care. He exists in a constant state of trying to get his next fix, be it from a prostitute, pornography or a girl he met at the bar. Brandon’s attempts to emotionally connect with either his pretty young coworker Marianne (Nicole Beharie) or his fast-talking associate (James Badge Dale) are futile. Brandon is quietly coping with his addiction until his younger sister Sissy (Carey Mulligan) tem-

porarily moves in with him. If Brandon is quietly imploding on himself, Sissy is an explosive force. Sissy and Brandon’s interactions are tinged with a rather uncomfortable sexual subtext that suggest some shared childhood trauma. She is free and open in a way that Brandon is not, providing the catalyst for him to free fall into a downward spiral. Steve McQueen masterfully utilizes the long, uninterrupted take and tracking to really allow the actors to shine. Standout moments are an emotionally charged fight between Sissy and Brandon and Sissy’s heartbreaking rendition of “New York, New York.” In both scenes, the focuses are tight close-ups on the actors’ faces, leaving no room for any editing tricks to obscure the performances. The care that went into this film is evident in every shot. Michael Fassbender’s complete lack of selfconsciousness in dealing with the graphic simulated sex scenes with full frontal nudity allow him to truly plumb the depths of Brandon’s selfloathing and despair. He accomplishes the impressive feat of being transfixing and magnetic while saying nothing (which is a large portion of the film). Carey Mulligan brings a dark and manic energy to the spirited and crass Sissy. Nicole Beharie as Marianne is also wonderfully real and heartbreaking in her attempts to forge a connection with Brandon. I can see this as being a very polarizing film; there are no easy answers. Besides a few oblique references, Brandon and Sissy’s shared childhood trauma remains a mystery. At times, the film appears to be more of a character study than a plot-driven film. It is an incredibly powerful and well-crafted film on all fronts. I’m not sure if I could stand to view it again.

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movie review

Young Adult

by Nick Martin

★★★✩

11:45, 1:55, 4:05, 6:15, 8:30

FRI/SAT LS 10:45 S BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (G) 12:15, 2:25, 4:35, 6:45, 9:00 FRI/SAT LS 11:15 S JOYFUL NOISE (PG-13) 11:00, 1:40, 4:15, 7:00, 9:55 CONTRABAND (R) 11:50, 2:20, 4:50, 7:20, 9:50 FRI/SAT LS 12:15 THE DEVIL INSIDE (R) 11:00, 12:35, 1:05, 2:45, 3:15, 4:55, 5:25, 7:05, 7:35, 9:15, 9:45 FRI/SAT LS 11:25, 11:55 S WAR HORSE (PG-13) 12:25, 3:30, 6:35, 9:40 S 3D ADVENTURES OF TINTIN (PG) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET

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SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS (PG-13) 12:30, 3:20, 6:10, 9:05

FRI/SAT LS 11:50

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED (G)

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Used with permission from Paramount Pictures

Remember the shallow, plastic bitch who tormented you in high school? The girl who called your purse tacky and told everyone you had HPV (it was just a scab!). Unfortunately, the people who brought us Juno (director Jason Reitman and screenwriter Diablo Cody) have

bad news: that girl is still a jerk, and her life is awesome. Maybe she’s hollow, unhappy and alone — but probably not. Charlize Theron is Young Adult’s shallow, plastic bitch (heretofore, SPB). Mavis Gary lives large in Minneapolis while ghostwriting young adult

fiction about other SPBs who go to high school and act like typical SPBs. Eventually, Mavis realizes her superficiality and goes home to try and win her ex-boyfriend back — ruining his marriage in the process. Juno this is not. There are no precocious teens, hip references or even jokes; instead, we get an unsympathetic protagonist who reminds audiences that good things often happen to bad people. Bummer. ...And that’s what makes the movie interesting. By going against Hollywood convention (namely, making audiences happy), Young Adult explores the baggage high school forces us to carry. Some people grow up: like Mavis’s ex, Buddy (Patrick Wilson), who found a cool wife and wants nothing to do with Mavis. Some people stay petty: like Matt and Sandra Freehauf (Patton Oswalt and Collette Wolfe, respectively), two nerds who still idolize jocks and SPBs well into their thirties. Young Adult shows some people can’t cast aside the image-obsessed selfishness of adolescence. The only way to rectify SPBs is to refuse to sink to their level. Director Jason Reitman explains in an interview with Flavorwire, “I like characters that don’t change because I don’t think people change. Or they very rarely do, or they do by a tiny percent.”

I once fought the law.

january 12 - 18, 2012

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kind of a genius Comedian Todd Barry comes to Canopy countless cartoons (Home Movies, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Bob’s Burgers, etc.) — or the guy from Louie who makes a joke at the end of the Heckler episode (too specific?). Anyway! Todd’s hilarious, and you probably won’t get the chance to see him this cheap again (unless he’s your uncle). buzz had a chance to “chat” with Todd — or more accurately, we emailed one another with our respective phones. Before you read this, watch Todd on Youtube to get his cadence down; it will make it a lot funnier. » buzz: Ever play Champaign-Urbana before? If yes, did you get laid? Todd Barry: No and no! » buzz: If you haven’t played CU before, we’re a Midwest college town. I bet you’ve played those. Are you well-received by young people and/or stuffy academics? TB: Stuffy academics love me because I’m sort of a genius. » buzz: When you’re on the road, what do you listen to? What do you read/watch on TV/ DVD/VHS? TB: I read USA Today (if the hotel gives me a free copy) and music out of my laptop. I watch MSNBC on TV. Other stuff, too. by Nick Martin

Used with permssion from Todd Barry

o you like wry, sarcastic wit? If not, check out Lisa Lampanelli — but if you do, great news! Todd Barry is coming to the Canopy Club this Saturday (1/14) for only $13! That’s a bargain to see a staple of the New York comedy scene (half the price

movie review

of a comedy club without a two drink minimum). If you’re not familiar with stand-up, you might know Todd from this three comedy albums; or perhaps you’ll remember him as the third Conchord from Flight of the Conchords — or voice acting from

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Joyce Famakinwa

★★★✩

Used with permission from MGM Studios

» buzz: Where do you write your jokes down? What types of pen do you use? TB: I use a cheap Papermate pen. Blue. Medium point!

Vamps soon: what’s that about? Are you a vampire in the movie? TB: It’s a vampire comedy written and directed by Amy Heckerling, who did Clueless. I play Sigourney Weaver’s right-hand vampire. » buzz: Comedy Mastermoogles Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim wrote a great theme song about you in season 1 of their hit alt-com sketch/variety show, T&EASGJ! It goes, “Todd Todd Barry/Todd Todd Barry!” It gets stuck in my head sometimes; does it ever get stuck in yours? Did you hear the tune in your head when you read it? TB: That is a GREAT tune, and yes, I heard it when I read it! » buzz: Do you grill? What do you grill? TB: I don’t grill, but I enjoy grilled foods. Are there “grilled food restaurants” in Urbana? Is this interview for Urbana?! » buzz: How many coats do you own? Jackets? TB: I own one coat. It’s from the Gap!!!! » buzz: If you could be advertising spokesman for any consumer product, what would it be? Feel free to make up a product. TB: Celery (you said I could make up a product) » buzz: What’s the first thing you go to look at in a thrift store? TB: SHIRT!!!

» buzz: IMDB says you’re in something called

» buzz: What’s the best kind of sock? TB: BLACK OR GRAY!!!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a Swedish novel in a series of bestselling novels by author Stieg Larsson. It is also a 2009 Swedish film of the same name. Director David Fincher is in the driver’s seat for this 2011 adaptation. Journalist and co-owner of Millennium magazine Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) is pretty much down on his luck. He has just been found guilty of libel in a case against powerful businessman Hans-Erik Wennerström. This scandal does not only ruin his credibility as a journalist — it threatens to ruin Millennium magazine when advertisers begin to pull out. His luck seems to change when he is hired by Henrick Vanger (Christopher Plummer), a retired CEO. He offers Mikael a generous amount of money and information that could bring Hans-Erik Wennerström down in exchange for his help solving a cold case. 40 years ago, Henrick’s favorite niece Harriet disappeared and was never found. When Mikael needs a research assistant, he is encouraged to hire Lisbeth Salander (Rooney

Mara) a skilled computer hacker. Much has been said about Rooney Mara’s physical transformation to Lisbeth Salander. Critics describe Lisbeth as everything from goth to cyberpunk. The word “rebel” is also thrown around. Lisbeth is a person that has clearly been taken advantage of many times in her life, but at the same time, she is ruthless in her fight to not be a victim. Her appearance and her cold demeanor act as a shield. It is their mutual outsider status that causes Mikael and Lisbeth to briefly connect. The chemistry between Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara is convincing. Their moments together feel earned. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is an American remake, but the setting remains the same. The film does not trade Sweden for rural Michigan to placate the audience. Visually, David Fincher brings a sleek professionalism that contrasts the film’s bleak tone and brutal subject matter. This is definitely not a first date film. buzz

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To apply, send letter of interest with salary requirements, resume, and FASS application to FASS Production Position 1800 S. Oak Street, Suite 100 Champaign, IL 61820-6974 or email to fassjobs@assochq.org. Application materials must be received by January 17, 2012. EOE. No phone calls please.

420 APARTMENTS

506 E White, C. 503 E Clark, C. 717 W Elm, U.

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

420 APARTMENTS

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508 S. First 108 W. Charles 104 E. John 103 E. Healey 105 S. Fourth 108 1/2 E. Daniel 310 E. Clark 106 E. Armory 308 E. Armory 312 E. White 507 S. Elm, C.

2 Bedrooms

4 Bedrooms

104 E. John 105 S. Fourth 208/210 E. White 308 E. Armory 312 E. White 1103 S. Euclid

308 E. Armory 1103 S. Euclid 807 S. Locust 208 / 210 E. White 306 E. Armory

3 Bedrooms

1103 S. Euclid 306 E. Armory

1103 S. Euclid 807 S. Locust 208/ 210 E. White 312 E. White 104 E. John 306 E. Armory

5 Bedrooms Houses

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Will you be my lover for lyfe?

APARTMENTS

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

302 S Busey, Urbana

705 S. Randolph, C. 3 BR Now Avialable! $590. Near Campus and Downtown Champaign. Call 217-352-8540 or view at www.faronproperties.com

4-5 Bedrooms Fall 2012 Cable/Internet Included Washer & Dryer Covered parking available Gillespie Properties 217-384-9444 Gillespieapts.com

1 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 520-570 911 W. Springfield, U $ 525-595 1004 W. Springfield, U $ 499-529

3 Bedroom 1010 W. Springfield U $ 999-1272 4 Bedroom 1010 W. Springfield, U $ 1696 For Info: (217) 344-3008 911 W. Springfield, Urbana www.BaileyApartments.com

PANTONE 138

$503.75/mo. Roommates easy to get along with. Utilities are extra but reasonable. All male roommates. Near Springﬁeld/Wright bus stop. Inunit Washer/Dryer.

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6 Bedrooms

806 W. Springfield, Urbana 5 bedroom furnished duplex $2400/month 3 bathrooms Parking Included Central a/c Pet Friendly

Roommate Needed for Spring 2012 1 BR available in 2 BR apartment at Lando Place for spring 2012 semester. Great location. Rent negotiable. Contact if interested: 630-310-9105, tkdfellayella@gmail.com.

Roommate Needed

One bedroom in 4 bedroom apartment available on Engineering/ Computer Science campus. Everything included (Utilities, internet, TV). Fully furnished (including TV, kitchen stuff and all). Total $495/mo. 4 or 6 month lease. 344-3008

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Available 2012. 10 bedroom, 2 bathroom house, washer & dryer, and close to all bus lines. $269/room. Call George (217) 367 6626

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

Furnished Remodled Large Campus House. Fall 2012. On Wright St. across from nano engineering. Free parking and laundry. 778-2094.

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712 W California in Urbana

Parking Engineering Campus 4 Blocks to Union $40.00/month 344-3008

Campus rooms for rent from $280. 367-6627

101 E. Armory, 8-11 person 803 S. First, 8-9 person 312 E. Clark, 4-5 person 314 E. Clark, 5-6 person 303 S. Fifth, 4-5 person www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852

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ROOMS

CAMPUS HOUSES

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SEMESTER LEASE Jan 2012

901 S. Second, Champaign 4 Bedrooms/2 Baths. Furnished, 46" HDTV. Elevator, Balcony, Washer & Dryer $2760 Gillespie Properties 217-384-9444 Gillespieapts.com

2 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 695-$740 111 S. Lincoln, U $ 795

430 SUBLETS

Unfurnished

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CALENDAR

JANUARY 12 - 18, 2012

Complete listing available at

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar

THE217.COM/CALENDAR

Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 12

Employees” Indi Go Artist Art & other exhibits Co-op Warriors, Guardians, 4pm and Demons Mind, body, & spirit Spurlock Museum 9am Partner Yoga with Jerusalem Saved! In- Maggie Taylor ness and the Spiritual Amara Yoga & Arts Landscape 7pm Krannert Art Museum Power Flow Yoga with and Kinkead Pavilion Corrie Proksa 9am Amara Yoga & Arts 12pm Miscellaneous Power Flow Yoga with Corrie Proksa Preschool Story Amara Yoga & Arts Time 12pm Rantoul Public Library Live music & 10am karaoke Raising Readers Rantoul Public LiAn Evening With brary Your Mother, Endless 10:30am Pages, Jack JohnRaising Readers ston Rantoul Public LiThe Clark Bar brary 6:30pm 3:30pm West Side Salsa Afterschool Fairytale Highdive Ballet with Kate Inso- 8pm lia Karaoke w/ DJ Amara Yoga & Arts Bange 4pm Phoenix 9pm Movies & theater The Third Temple, Seven Year ExisGruesome Playground Injuries @ The tence Canopy Club Station Theatre 9pm The Station Theatre DJ Delayney 8pm Highdive Live music & 11pm

with Linda Lehovec Amara Yoga & Arts 9am Power Flow Yoga with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts 4pm Try Acupuncture for Free Lincoln Square Mall 10am

Spurlock Museum 12pm Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 2pm Words of Peace Screening Champaign Public Library 5pm West African Dance Classes with Djibril Camara Channing-Murray Foundation 6pm

Amara Yoga & Arts 12pm

Miscellaneous

Children’s Winter Reading Program Rantoul Public Library 9am Grafitti Art Poster Rantoul Public Library 3pm Miscellaneous Friends of the Library Fairytale Ballet with Rantoul Public LiKate Insolia brary Amara Yoga & Arts 6pm 12:15pm Winter Reading Kids Arts & Crafts Program for Teens & Adults Playshops with KathMind, body, & spirit Rantoul Public Liryn Fitzgerald brary Amara Yoga & Arts Yoga 102 Workshop 9am 11:30am with Linda LehPoetry Workshop Todd Barry ovec Red Herring CoffeeCanopy Club Amara Yoga & Arts house 7:30pm 12am Yoga for Men, Dudes, 7:30pm Movies & theater Bingo Night and Regular Guys Memphis on Main with Jim Rector Gruesome Play10pm ground Injuries @ The Amara Yoga & Arts 6:30pm Station Theatre Live music, karaoke The Station Theatre Live music & 8pm 80’S NIGHT karaoke Highdive Live music & 10pm Big Homie presents karaoke Open Mic Night Phoenix Concert by Miles 7pm Nielsen & Hayward TUESDAY 17 The Great Cover Up Williams Art & other exhibits 21B Sleepy Creek Highdive Vineyards Jerusalem Saved! Inkaraoke 8pm 7pm ness and the Spiritual Movies & theater Stone Faced, Lou DiLandscape Liquid Courage Bello Band, and Kings Movies & theater Krannert Art Museum Karaoke Gruesome Playand Kinkead Memphis on Main ground Injuries @ The Highway Gruesome PlayBoomerang’s Bar and 9pm Station Theatre ground Injuries @ The Pavilion Grill 9am The Station Theatre Station Theatre 8:30pm Warriors, Guardians, 8pm The Station Theatre The Great Cover Up and Demons 8pm FRIDAY 13 21A Spurlock Museum Big Dave’s Trivia Art & other exhibits SATURDAY 14 Highdive 12am Cowboy Monkey 9pm 7pm Warriors, Guardians, Art & other exhibits Lord T. & Eloise Mind, body, & spirit and Demons Spurlock Museum Jerusalem Saved! In- Canopy Club Vinyasa Flow Yoga 9am ness and the Spiritual 10:30pm with Maggie TayMONDAY 16 Neoga Blacksmith Jerusalem Saved! In- Landscape lor Mind, body, & spirit Amara Yoga & Arts / Devout Sinners / ness and the Spiritual Krannert Art Museum Manzanita Bones Landscape and Kinkead PavilRestorative Yoga with 12am Memphis on Main Krannert Art Museum ion Maggie Taylor Live music & 9pm and Kinkead Pavil9am Amara Yoga & Arts karaoke ion Warriors, Guardians, 7pm 9am and Demons Hatha Yoga with The Great Cover Up “In My Shoes”/ “A Spurlock Museum Grace Giorgio 21C SUNDAY 15 Study in Migration 10am Amara Yoga & Arts Highdive Art & other exhibits 5:30 Through the Real, 9pm Desired & Recreated Mind, body, & spirit Warriors, Guardians, Power Flow Yoga with Open Mic Night Geographies of 8 Corrie Proksa Cowboy Monkey and Demons Yoga Fundamentals 14

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10pm Angie Heaton & Anne Clements The Clark Bar 7pm Piano Man Canopy Club 9pm

WEDNESDAY 18 Art & other exhibits Warriors, Guardians, and Demons Spurlock Museum 9am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 9am

Mind, body, & spirit Yoga Wednesdays at indi go Artist CoOp! Indi Go Artist Co-op 7pm Yoga Wednesdays Indi Go Artist Co-op 7pm

Live music & karaoke 312 Vibe Night Canopy Club 9pm Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey 7:30pm Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey 10pm

Movies & theater Gruesome Playground Injuries @ The Station Theatre The Station Theatre 8pm Sports, games, & recreation Nomad SF Book Club Champaign Public Library 7pm

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readbuzz.com january 12 - 18, 2012

I woke myself up snoring.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES

(March 21-April 19) The Macy’s ad I saw in the newspaper had a blaring headline: “Find Your Magic 2.0.” The items that were being touted to help us discover our upgraded and more deluxe sense of magic were luxurious diamond rings. The cheapest was $2,150. I’m going to try to steer you in another direction in your quest to get in touch with Magic 2.0, Aries. I do believe you are in an excellent position to do just that, but only if you take a decidedly non-materialistic approach. What does your intuition tell you about how to hook up with a higher, wilder version of the primal mojo?

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20) The U.S. Constitution has survived 222 years, longer than the constitution of any other nation on the planet. But one of America’s founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson, might have had a problem with that. He believed our constitution should be revised every 19 years. Personally, I share Jefferson’s view. And I would apply that same principle of regular reinvention to all of us as individuals -although I think it should be far more frequently than every 19 years. How long has it been since you’ve amended or overhauled your own rules to live by, Taurus? Judging by the astrological omens, I suspect it’s high time.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20) “It is respectable to have no illusions -- and safe -- and profitable and dull,” said author Joseph Conrad. Taking our cue from his liberating derision, I propose that we protest the dullness of having no illusions. Let’s decry the blah gray sterility that comes from entertaining no fantastic fantasies and unreasonable dreams. For this one week, Gemini, I urge you to celebrate your crazy ideas. Treasure and adore your wacky beliefs. Study all those irrational and insane urges running around your mind to see what you can learn about your deep, dark unconsciousness. (P.S.: But I’m not saying you should act on any of those phantasms, at least not now. Simply be amused by them.)

CANCER

(June 21-July 22) If you were a medieval knight going into battle with a full suit of armor, the advantage you had from the metal’s protection was offset by the extra energy it took to haul around so much extra weight. In fact, historians say this is one reason that a modest force of English soldiers defeated a much larger French army at the Battle of Agincourt in 1415. The Frenchmen’s armor was much bulkier, and by the time they slogged through muddy fields to reach their enemy, they were too tired to fight at peak intensity. The moral of the story, as far as you’re concerned: To win a great victory in the coming weeks, shed as many of your defense mechanisms and as much of your emotional baggage as possible.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22) One way or another, you will be more famous in the coming months than you’ve ever been before. That might mean you’ll become better known or more popular . . . or it could take a different turn. To tease out the nuances, let’s draw on Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem “Famous.” “The river is famous to the fish. // The loud voice is famous to silence, / which knew it would inherit the earth / before anybody said so. // The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds / watching him from the birdhouse. // The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek. // The idea you carry close to your bosom / is famous to your bosom.” (Read the whole poem here: bit.ly/FamousToWhom.)

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Three famous actresses formed the British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League last year. Rachel Wiesz, Kate Winslet, and Emma Thompson say they believe people should be happy with the physical appearance that nature gave them. Is it rude of me to note that unlike most of the rest of us, those three women were born gorgeous? It’s easy for them to promise not to mess with their looks. Do you ever do that, Virgo? I recommend against that this week. If you want to influence someone to change, be willing to change something about yourself that’s hard to change.

January 12-18, 2012

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22) I predict major breakthroughs in your relationship to intimacy and togetherness in 2012, Libra -- if, that is, you keep in mind the following counsel from psychologist Dr. Neil Clark Warren: “Attraction and chemistry are easily mistaken for love, but they are far from the same thing. Being attracted to someone is immediate and largely subconscious. Staying deeply in love with someone happens gradually and requires conscious decisions, made over and over again.” (Read more by Warren here: tinyurl.com/WiseChoices.)

jone sin’

by Matt Jones

“Cheatin’ with the Codes”--old school Nintendo knowledge.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Purslane is a plant that’s also known colloquially as pigweed. It’s hearty, prolific, and spreads fast. In a short time, it can grow out-of-control, covering a large area with a thick carpet. On the other hand, it’s a tasty salad green and has a long history of being used as a cooked vegetable. As a medicinal herb, it’s also quite useful, being rich in omega-3 fatty acids as well as a number of vitamins and minerals. Moral of the story: Keep pigweed contained -- don’t let it grow out of control -- and it will be your friend. Does anything in your life fit that description?

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21) As he approaches his 70th birthday, retiree and Michigan resident Michael Nicholson is still hard at work adding to his education. He’s got 27 college degrees so far, including 12 master’s degrees and a doctorate. Although he’s not an “A” student, he loves learning for its own sake. I nominate him to be your role model for the coming weeks, Sagittarius. Your opportunities for absorbing new lessons will be at a peak. I hope you take full advantage of all the teachings that will be available.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19) The Bible addresses the subjects of money and possessions in about 2,000 verses, but devotes only 500 verses to prayer and 500 to faith. As you know, my advice in these horoscopes usually tends to have the opposite emphasis: I concentrate more on spiritual matters than materialistic concerns. But this time, in acknowledgment of the specific cosmic influences coming to bear on you, I’m going to be more like the Bible. Please proceed on the assumption that you have a mandate to think extra deeply and super creatively about money and possessions in the coming weeks. Feel free, too, to pray for financial guidance and meditate on increasing your cash flow.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Here’s one of my favorite quotes from American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson: “I hate quotations. Tell me what *you* think.” The current astrological omens suggest that this is an excellent message for you to heed. It’s crucial for you to know your own mind and speak your own thoughts. It’s smart to trust your own instincts and draw on your own hard-won epiphanies. For best results, don’t just be skeptical of the conventional wisdom; be cautious about giving too much credence to every source of sagacity and expertise. Try to define your own positions rather than relying on theories you’ve read about and opinions you’ve heard.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20) Why did Mark Gibbons strap a washing machine to his back and then climb to the top of Mount Snowdown in Wales? He did it to raise charity money for the Kenyan Orphan Project. If, in the coming weeks, you try anything as crazy as he did, Pisces, make sure it’s for an equally worthy cause. Don’t you dare take on a big challenge simply to make people feel sorry for you or to demonstrate what a first-class martyr you can be. On the other hand, I’m happy to say that you could stir up a lot of good mojo by wandering into previously off-limits zones as you push past the limitations people expect you to honor.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.

Across 1 Designer Oldham 5 Victoria’s Secret sells them 9 ___-cone (carnival purchase) 12 Strained from work 13 Dusting items 15 Good or bad figure, in TV dramas 16 Direction for “my beautiful balloon,” in song 18 Come up short 19 What “we’re” doing, in a Fall Out Boy song lyric 21 Part of a fireman’s outfit 23 Babies do it 24 Movie where Will Ferrell played Buddy 25 Fall guy 29 In the ballpark 30 With 39-across, marching chant 33 Labor mate, on an invoice 34 Like objective data 36 Prefix before gender or mission 39 See 30-across 43 “Role Models” actor Paul 44 Complaints 45 Not just my 46 Like some playgrounds 48 “Yabba ___ doo!”

50 Degree that focuses on human behavior 55 “And so on” 56 Panicky yell to a getaway driver 59 Felix or Fritz 60 Forehead-smacking phrase 61 Bupkis 62 Sit-up focus 63 1970s song with a letterforming dance 64 Abbr. in a recipe

Down 1 Coll. in Houston 2 Alley-___ 3 Towed away, colloquially 4 Train station 5 Skyscraper, for example: abbr. 6 Word before hog or rage 7 “...and ___” (Lawrence Welk count-off) 8 BET Hip Hop Awards “Rookie of the Year” winner ___ Lo 9 Two-wheeler 10 “OK, I’m waiting...” 11 Can ___ 13 Anderson Cooper’s channel 14 Word sung on 1/1 17 “___ for Alibi” (first in the Kinsey Millhone book series)

20 North America’s highest peak 21 ___ Paese (cheese) 22 Soccer match shout 25 Spot on a domino 26 Like contortionists 27 “A magic number,” according to “Schoolhouse Rock” 28 Rigid 31 Muscle-to-bone connector 32 Apt. ad stat 33 Golf average 35 Dollar divs. 36 Robert De Niro’s film studio 37 Keep the drink payment until the end 38 Detox denizens 40 Take a taxi 41 Central airport 42 “La la” lead-in 44 Like weak soup 47 ___ buco 48 “Simpsons” word added to the OED 49 Bond, e.g. 51 Chilled out 52 ___-Z (old Chevy) 53 ___ vez (again, in Spanish) 54 Public Image ___ (post-Sex Pistols band) 57 30-second spots 58 Grammy category

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january 12 - 18, 2012

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AND ANOTHER THING ...

by MICHAEL COULTER

a brush with reality Coulter goes offline for an unfathomable 12 days I usually hate it when writers personally conduct some sort of huge social experiment by using themselves as guinea pigs. You know, it’s the whole, “Ooh, I pretended I was homeless for a week,” or, “I went on Match.com and tried to find a date.” On the other hand, I usually end up reading these pieces because it is oddly interesting to me, so I suppose I don’t hate them all that much. Anyway, this column will be sort of about a recent experiment on myself, just like those regular reporters, except, you know, not all that interesting.

isn’t traveling from house to house mutilating everyone in his path. When you consider that kind of thing could happen, it’s much easier to justify checking local news. After that, I’d check the national news. There was usually not a crap ton of meat on that bone, either. Oh, things happened, lots of things, but I wasn’t all that interested in them. This is because I don’t especially care about the important things so much as the strange things. Bank robbery in Urbana or a war in Iraq — those don’t do a lot for me. New pizza place and a lady in Utah who actually lives in a pumpkin? That’s the sort of thing I can read about all damned day. Either way, catching up on the news takes anywhere from 15 minutes to a Sometimes you can accomplish half hour. After that, I really need to something by not doing anything. cleanse my palette, so I check a couple of baseball sites. This goes pretty Before I give it away, let me stress quickly in the off-season, but during that I’m just fine, even though the the summer, it can really be a grind. I can read about baseball anywhere experience was quite harrowing. I from a half hour to infinity. Spending stayed away from the Internet for that much time seems pretty excesabout 12 days in a row. I would like to sive, even for a guy who doesn’t still live in his parent’s basement. stress once again that I’m okay. Once I’ve checked sports, the rest of my surfing becomes a unpredictable/ I had a few weeks off over Christmas, and even predictable nightmare. Sometimes I check an before the break started, I knew I wanted to at entertainment site to see what new movies are least accomplish something with the down time. coming out, and before I realize what the piss Strangely, sometimes you can accomplish some- has happened, I’m ass deep in some ridicuthing by not doing anything. Before I give it away, lous article about how many extras were used let me stress that I’m just fine, even though the ex- for Wizard of Oz. This makes me think of Judy perience was quite harrowing. I stayed away from Garland, which makes me think of Liza Minthe Internet for about 12 days in a row. I would like nelli, and then I remember she was on Arrested to stress once again that I’m okay. Development for a time, which leads me to Hulu, In the interest of full disclosure, I did use the where I watch three or four Arrested DevelopInternet about once a day, but it was only to ment shows in their entirety. Four hours later, I check my email. Eventually, even that was every don’t remember how it all started, and it’s time two or three days. I just didn’t use the web for for me to shave and go to work again. any sort of surfing or information retrieval or, The Internet might not be an addiction, but it you know, that other thing the Internet is popu- certainly causes me to have all the symptoms. lar for. I would again like to say that I walked Of course, some of that Internet can be handy. away with no ill effects and that no Coulters It was a bitch to use the yellow pages to look up were harmed during this experiment. the theater phone number and then call them Honestly, it wasn’t hard at all. I thought it to check showtimes. In fact, it felt like I might would be — at least a little bit. Maybe I just have to take the horse and buggy to the movies didn’t give it enough time, even though 12 days instead of the car. seems like a fairly long stretch. Quitting other My little experiment ended before I even knew things can be hard. Hell, even quitting drinking it was a little experiment. I was bored one aftertakes 36 hours or so before I’m ready again noon and decided I would catch up on baseball. these days, but the web... I never really jonesed Before I knew it, I was surfing, and it felt dirty. I started to look back and realized that it’d been for that in any way. This makes me feel like maybe it wasn’t a prob- twelve days of bliss without the freaking web and lem to begin with, but at the same time, it often that I had just ruined all that. It wasn’t going to felt like I was spending way too much time giving be able to last forever, but it was quite a pleasmyself the illusion that I was informed. Here’s ant little respite. I didn’t miss not knowing trivial how it would usually go. I’d check the local news things, and I didn’t miss the big stuff either. As first. This was usually not all that fruitful, but it’s Yogi Berra might say, there’s so much informanice to be reassured that some sort of maniac tion that nobody knows anything anymore. 16

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