Buzz Magazine: Feb. 2, 2006

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no.05

Cover Design • Allie Armstrong Editor in chief • Erin Scottberg Art Director • Claire Napier Copy Chief • Sara Sandock Listen, Hear • Anna Statham Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town • Lianne Zhang CU Calendar • Todd Swiss Photography Editor • Austin Happel Designers • Brittany Bindrim, Nikita Sorokin, Allie Armstrong Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Ruth McCormack, Meghan Whalen, Dan Petrella Staff Writers • Paul Prikazsky, Tatyana Safronova, Syd Slobodnik, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Paula Newcomb Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50 © Illini Media Company 2006

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UNDER THE COVER |2-3| 3 3 3 |4-5| 4 5 5 |6-7| 6 6 7 | 8 - 10 | | 11 - 13 | 11 12 12

TALK TO BUZZ

Feb. 2

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INTRO First Things First • Michael Coulter This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening

AROUND TOWN Parasol Records, Giving Locals a New Spin • Alyssa Etier In Your Words • Tatyana Safronova The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR The Orgins of Mr. Andrew Bird • Gavin Giovagnoli Exposing the Great Cover-Up • Todd J. Hunter Sound Ground #111 • Todd J. Hunter

CU CALENDAR STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN A Festival of Dance • Elyse Russo Brokeback Mountain review • Tim Peters CU Views Movie Times Fences theater review • Syd Slobodnik

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CLASSIFIEDS

| 15 - 16 |

THE STINGER

15 15 16 16 16

Doin’ it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Free Will Astrology Slowpoke • Jen Sorensen (Th)ink • Keef Knight

erin scottberg EDITOR’S NOTE

Stop. Do not read any fur-

ther. Before you read this column, flip though this issue.

So, what do you see?

To the untrained eye, everything might seem business as usual, but that’s not the case. If fact, that’s far, far from the case. I’ll start at the beginning.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, the buzz office received some new computers. These shinny new machines were much faster than the current computers, much prettier to look at, and much easier to work on — they were iMacs. But thing’s weren’t as good as it seemed. We couldn’t use the new machines yet, we were still stuck with the tired old antiques and similarly tired QuarkXPress to produce this paper with. Damn.

So there they sat, teasing us, for months. All we could do was stare at that glossy white Macintosh plastic and check our e-mail once in a while.

But last week, things changed. Buzz staff members said goodbye to the old dinosaurs of computers and logged on to OS X. We also parted ways with Quark and welcomed the Adobe family into ours with open arms. Since then, life’s been easier.

Take this scene from Sunday night: Art director Claire Napier sits at a computer, formatting the crossword puzzle for print: “Wow, this has to be the most tedious thing ever. Do you think there’s a way to format all numbers at once in InDesign?” [a minute passes by as Claire investigates]

B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER

“Yes! I’ve got it! You can!” [shouts of “No way!” and “Holy shit!” erupt from staff members who have crowded around to watch] Everyone loves it.

You’ll notice that Silver Screen and Arts + Entertainment have merged to form Stage, Screen & in Between. You’ll still be able to count on movie reviews and you’re still going to be the first to read about the latest and greatest local art and theater — it’s just under a new name.

You might also notice that Main Event is now CU Calendar, the print counterpart to cuCalendar.com, the biggest things to happen to the local entertainment scene since, well, buzz itself. Try it. I dare you.

Although the changes you notice in the paper might seem completely insignificant, the staff has worked incredibly hard to learn a whole new way of producing buzz. Claire and Melinda Miller, our editorial adviser, have done an amazing job making this transition as smooth as possible — a round of applause for you ladies.

To everyone who sat through last week’s training sessions — Claire, Brittany, Allie, Nikita, Sarah G., Dan, Ruth, Todd, Austin and new editors Elyse (arts), Lianne (community), Anna (music) and Sara S. (copy chief ) — you’ve have done a hell of a job.

Thank you.

sounds from the scene

Feb. 2

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buzz weekly •

CAN’T EXPLAIN ALL THE FEELINGS THAT YOU’RE MAKING ME FEEL.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Super Bowl Sunday It’s more than missing Janet’s boobie for a slap to the nuts

For me, the Super Bowl is

sort of like making an appointment to visit a proctologist. After I’ve confirmed when it’s going to happen, the thought of it occupies quite a lot of my time. I get sort of excited. I hope it will turn out far better than last year. I really hope no one gets hurt.

I hope for the results I require. Lastly, I hope I’m still able to stand by the end of it. It’s all in the buildup. Then, after the initial kickoff it gets boring and it really doesn’t even seem like something all that special by the end. It’s just something I’m glad only happens once a year It’s not the game itself. In fact, there have been a few pretty exciting Super Bowls the last few years. What makes it too much is all of the crap that surrounds it (note: I was already past that proctology comparison, so don’t read too much into that sentence). I mean, pregame starts what, 10 hours before the game itself ? By the end of it we know far too much about the participants. Hell, I’ve known people who have gotten married and not been as well versed on each other’s tendencies.

Plus, it’s all pretty useless information.

Forget telling me that a free safety has battled autism or the inspiring story of an offensive guard who once bowled a 300 game. I don’t give a crap about personal stories. I wouldn’t, however, mind hearing what the over/under is or even something as elementary as the point spread.

I mean, let’s face it, they’d suck in about half the audience they do now if people didn’t bet on the damned game, but you’ll never hear anyone talk about that in the hours before it begins.

Eventually, the game starts. Sure, before that they introduce everyone from the starting quarterbacks to the guys who hands out water, but eventually, the game starts. That’s great. I’m already on the south side of a twelve-pack by then and the actual purpose of the day is just getting started. You would think this would make me happy, and it does for a bit. Then it comes time for a break in the action. Sometimes it’s in the form of a TV timeout and sometimes it’s just a regular timeout. Regardless, these breaks last about five times longer than normal.

This is so the network people can show us all these creative and compelling commercials that their sponsors spend ten million dollars on.

Fine, you know what, some of them are pretty

funny. They’re very well produced and thoughtful. Hell, sometimes they might even cause me to laugh or think, but you know what? It’s a freaking commercial. For crapsakes, have we sunk so low as a society that we now actually look forward to someone trying to sell us something? “Wow, I had a great time at that Super Bowl party. I think I’ll go buy a case of Pepsi and a new Honda Civic.�

After this, it’s back to the game. Hopefully, it’s not a blowout in the first half so there’s at least more crap to look forward to. Suddenly, it’s halftime and I realize I haven’t peed for about five hours. It could be worse. If I can somehow manage to urinate for fifty five minutes, there is a chance I won’t have to see even a moment of the wretched halftime show.

My friend, Matt, often points out that the halftime show is a flawed concept. I feel he gives it far too much credit. The actual game itself is like a fine piece of prime rib, it’s wonderful just the way it is. Then along comes the halftime show and it basically like someone saying, “Hey, you really seem to be enjoying that prime rib so now we’re gonna rub a bunch of jelly on top of it so you don’t like it quite so much anymore.

I remember a few years ago several of us were watching the game at a buddy’s house. We could give a frog’s fat ass about the halftime show so we were slapping each other in the nuts, eating pretzels, and drinking beer. Suddenly, someone shouted that he thought Janet Jackson had just showed her boobie. Holy crap, we all thought.

I can’t believe we missed that. Well, we did miss that actual moment but the 20,000 replays of the moment more than made up for the initial oversight. I mean, geeze, I’ve seen boobies before, a lot better ones than she had, too. Why the hell was I so excited? I was just happy for my father never had to see Carol Channing’s exposed breast when she used to do the halftime shows back in the day.

My body is generally numb from all the halftime crap until the beginning of the third quarter. At this point, if the score is close I can really enjoy the game for the first time of the day, knowing there will be no more extra crap thrown at me, just football. If the game isn’t close, I usually just get ripped to the tits so the day’s not a total waste. Sixty minutes of football scattered into twelve hours of crap, the day’s probably a total waste anyway. Either way, I can’t wait for it to start.

sounds from the scene

I NTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER

4 PARASOL RECORDS, GIVING LOCALS A NEW SPIN ALYSSA ETIER

• CONTRIBUTING WRITER

ADAM NEKOLA • PHOTO

quick right off of Race Street from University Avenue takes drivers onto the easily-missed Griggs Street. It is here that lies the home of Parasol, a music company that boasts five independent record labels and distributes 10 others.

After using full-body force to open the large door, a heavy man in a short-sleeve, blue plaid shirt and a smaller man in a sweatshirt walk into the wide, open room of Parasol. They are greeted with a musty smell and a chaotic scene of boxes, CDs, records and posters that are on or near numerous shelves, tables and desks. Jim Kelly, an employee of Parasol, walks to the middle of the room to meet them.

“I had an order?” The heavier man says.

Jim leads them to the left side of the room where he looks up the man’s order on the sales computer.

“Three CDs? That’s $47.75.”

“Thanks a lot,” says Jim, handing the man a receipt.

The two men leave, and Jim is alone again. They will be among the few customers that walk into Parasol that day.

Parasol Records is not quite a record store. Individuals shop at Parasol through its Web site, parasol.com. Even those who come into the store will probably have to specially order the record they want.

“What we sell, one-tenth of one percent, so few people know what this music is,” says Geoff Merritt, owner of Parasol Records. “But by mail, our audience isn’t limited to the 100,000 people in Champaign-Urbana.”

Inside, the Parasol building looks like a warehouse, with its plaster walls, red-cement floor and wooden beams alongside silver venting tubes across the ceiling.

Straight ahead of the entrance, centered on the back wall, is a dull yellow afghan with an olive-green design. The decoration has been up since Parasol’s first in-store appearance in July, when Unbunny and Doleful Lions sat in front of the display and played acoustic guitar.

On the opposite side of the room, a blue flag with a vertical and horizontal yellow line – the Swedish fl ag – hangs over a railed landing.

Five work areas line the right wall.

The first desk belongs to Geoff. His speckled-gray hair and thin-framed glasses stand out against his soft features. Geoff will be in and out throughout the day, overseeing business and paying bills when needed. He splits his time between Parasol and That’s Rentertainment, his video rental store on campus.

Over at the next desk, you can see Jim, with his horizontally striped orange, white and navy snow cap, working on promotions for Jose Gonzalez, a Swedish guitar artist.

To watch Gonzalez’s record sales, Jim checks SoundScan, which is an information system that tracks music sales.

At the next desk, Roy Ewing, a thin, dark-haired man with a beard, sits, fi lling out mail orders.

The last work space is occupied by Angie Heaton, a dark-blonde woman wearing a sweatshirt. Heaton controls distribution to stores, other record companies and larger distribution companies.

About 15 years ago, bored with Champaign-Urbana and his business That’s Rentertainment, Geoff left for San Francisco. He began collecting obscure records, mainly used, and selling them through the record collectors’ magazine Goldmine. After six months, Geoff moved his mail-order record business back to Champaign.

In 1991, the business moved to a location on First Street, and Parasol became a real business.

During this time, tiny labels selling 7-inch records started popping up such as Creation, which signed Oasis, and Sarah, a label from England. They were different from large labels like Sony.

They carry a style of music.

“We all knew each other, and we were all doing the same vein of music,” Geoff recalls.

From the idea of a label with one style of music came more record labels. In the early ’90s, ChampaignUrbana had a local post-Nirvana grunge scene, a garage-style rock.

Geoff started the Mudd label by putting out a record for Bill Johnson’s group Honcho Overload.

Next, he created Spur, a countryA promotional banner hangs from the rafters over boxes of CDs in Parasol Records. music label for Steve Shields’ band

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER

ADAM NEKOLA • PHOTO

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GEOFF MERRITT • • • •

Graduated from the University of Illinois in 1984 Opened That’s Rentertainment in 1985 Opened Parasol in 1991 Geoff named “Parasol” after a song a friend in the band Choo Choo Train wrote for him • Geoff was once sued by the Popsicle company for using its name to sell cassettes

Steve Pride and the Blood Kin. In 1997, Parasol added Hidden Agenda Records, which signed bands that already had a high profi le.

To accommodate for Parasol Records’ growth, Geoff moved his business into a house in Urbana that had been gutted into one big room. After fi ve years, the city found the location and told Geoff he could not do business there. He continued to operate Parasol Records from the house, but eventually moved the business into an old laundry equipment building in Urbana after seeing a “for sale” sign in the window.

In 2002, Geoff added a fifth record label, Reaction Recordings, to bring back old records: “It was for bands we really like that no one ever heard of.”

Hundreds of records come out every week. Parasol employees choose which records they like best and promote them. “We’re really good at what we do; people trust us,” Geoff says. “We don’t get paid to tell anyone anything.” buzz sounds from the scene

Feb. 2

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buzz weekly •

HE GOT ME INVESTED IN SOME KINDA FRUIT COMPANY.

your WORDS

TATYANA SAFRONOVA

seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

Wal-Mart Opens in Urbana; Gateway to Hell Discovered

• STAFF WRITER

People who barbecue have the practice down

sounds from the scene

Lava Lamps sold for cheaper than a box of tissue paper …

AUSTIN HAPPEL • PHOTO

to an art.

Real barbecue, unlike backyard grilling, is a delicate and lengthy process that requires smoking meat at low temperatures — 225 degrees Fahrenheit — (instead of high temperatures used in grilling) over a span of 12 to 14 hours.

Kenneth Buchanan II, manager of the barbecue restaurant Blues, 1103 W. Oregon St., Urbana, is an avid barbecue cook in his home.

“It’s typically a weekend project. I’ll get it started, you know, maybe 9, 10, 11 o’clock at night and then let it go all night, getting up, checking it on a regular basis.”

Even before the long hours of smoking begin, Buchanan has already busied himself with preparing seasonings, sauces and woods for the barbecue. Buchanan makes a dry rub for the meat out of paprika, garlic, onion powders, oregano and basil.

His barbecue sauce is made from molasses, honey, tomato-based products and some of his special rub. The wood selected to burn in the smoker will also infuse the meat with a unique flavor. Buchanan mainly cooks with hickory, but other woods offer a variety of flavor options.

“If I’m doing a beef product, I’ll do mesquite, because it has a bit of a stronger flavor to it,” he says.

On the other hand, fruit woods — like cherry wood and apple wood, provide sweetness.

The choice of wood frequently depends on geography; mesquite is often used in Texas because it grows wild in the state.

“Barbecuing comes from the traditional word ‘barbacoa.’” Buchanan says.

It is a Spanish word that became part of Caribbean dialect under colonization. The techniques for smoking meat in the style of barbecue originated from the aborigines of the islands.

“They actually were cooking underneath banana leaves and [what they would do] is put the banana leaves on top and hold the smoke down in there, and that smoke flavors the meat, and that’s a good traditional barbecue,” Buchanan explains.

Of course modern products like commercial smokers, which can hold hundreds of slabs of ribs at a time, guarantee much more tender results than banana leaves.

Barbecue expanded from the Caribbean into southern and western United States.

A highway in the south, Buchanan says, may often be lined with barbecue shacks on the sides.

Like jazz and blues, barbecue eventually made its way into the Midwest, and it is no strange combination that the two art forms are seen together at Blues.

“If you’re out there for 14 hours cooking, you know, you ‘gotta’ do something. Fourteen hours kind of gets tedious and boring at times,” Buchanan explains.

It is difficult to believe that every Southern

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Kenneth Buchanan II barbecue chef is a talented jazz and blues musician, but maybe the concept is merely a legend and the facts are less significant than the end result — this restaurant.

Three days a week, patrons in the restaurant can enjoy live blues and jazz performances. Billy Galt, a local guitarist with a soulful voice, performs on Fridays at lunch and Tuesday nights from 5:30 to 8:30, and Leigh Meadors plays with her organ jazz trio on Sundays.

Buchanan also encourages students to show their artwork or jam for about two hours at a time at the restaurant. In return, the performers are fed for free.

A few paintings of jazz and blues musicians, in bright gold, yellow, pink, green, and blue, adorn the walls. The refrigerator, full with slabs of ribs and other assorted meats, hums in sync with the buzz of the soda machine.

With its tin ceilings, concrete floors, dark-blue textured walls, and overall sparse decoration, the restaurant has an effortless yet still appropriate look. “[The barbecue expert is] somebody who spends a whole lot of time on their meat and not on their décor,” says Buchanan.

The restaurant is the first of a chain. It offers varieties of pulled-meat sandwiches, ribs, and meat loaf. There is also a vegetarian gourmet sandwich made with seitan, fried collard greens, soy sauce, ginger, garlic, sautéed onions and peppers, and topped with barbecue sauce.

“We learned very early on that Urbana does have a lot of vegetarians,” Buchanan explains.

“To offer a product to them, we studied and researched products out there and this is a product that we make in house and serve.”

Buchanan himself is, of course, an omnivore.

“Both of my eyes face forward,” he says.

“I’m a predator and therefore, my preference has always been meat. I’ve been raised eating meat. And I’ve always thoroughly enjoyed it, and that’s why I actually started into barbecuing because if I’m going to, you know, spend that much time and effort on something, I want it to be really good.”

FIRST SNIFF I debated whether or not to bring it up again this week. I went back and forth, back and forth — and finally — went to ask my everlasting tiebreaker. My leading lady, Justine. “Jus. They’re still up. Should I mention it again?” She looks over at me and — something you should know about the most important person in my life, she never has any problem telling me when I am wrong — says plainly, “Come on Seth. Come up with something new. You can do it.”

And she’s right, so I won’t mention it. It’s taking every ounce of my being, but I will not mention it even thought it’s been exactly 40 days since we celebrated that holiday. It’s a disgrace.

WELCOME TO URBANA YOU DIRTY SONSABITCHES …

In case you hadn’t heard, Wal-Mart has opened it’s doors in Urbana after years of speculation and negotiation. I will not be going there. Certainly, I have my opinions of Wal-Mart. Most everyone with any sense of concern for the world has an opinion about Wal-Mart. But I am not fanatical about my stance against them. I am guilty of buying a few select items from the Walton’s from time to time, and it’s worth noting that I felt guilty when I did it.

It’s also worth noting that I saved money when I did it. And that felt damn fine. Real American-like. Didn’t even have to clip a coupon. Urbana will no doubt take a certain hit from this.

Hopefully, it’s not a dramatic one that comes with the closing of locally owned businesses. But my friend made a good point to me the other day. “How can you blame them? They had a store, it did well, and they opened another. That did well, so they opened another. They figured out how to make money, even if it hurt people, and they keep doing it. It’s just business.” And he’s right about that. Although they probably know it to be true, it’s probably not even on their radar that they are hurting people. Why should it be? When you wake up in the morning, honestly, how much are you thinking of even your neighbor, let alone people in China? I certainly don’t. And perhaps that is the real problem. Not Wal-Mart. Not the government. Not anything that needs words like, ‘Bureaucracy” or “Public Offerings” or “Investment” to formulate an idea. The problem seems to be that we don’t even help each other out. And you can’t blame Sam Walton. You can only blame yourself. You, like me, are a worthless human being and I would like to be the one to say that we are all going to pay for it in the end.

WAIT … LET ME RE-STATE THAT ONE...

Okay, so we’re not totally worthless. But after watching the slanted and totally biased documentary about Wal-Mart ‘The High Price of Low Cost”, I guess I am just feeling like I should try to do something about it. I feel like some sort of action should take place. Direct action, the way they did it in the 60’s man! I could start a boycott, see if people catch on to it and try to rally the leftists and the traditionalists against the Big Bad Corporation! I could use this column as a platform to spread the word about Wal-Mart and how they treat their employees like shit!

I could put on benefit concerts and raise funds to help spread awareness about how evil their overseas labor practices are and now they bully employees here in the States and scare them into not unionizing! I could get all the people I know, and even some that I don’t, to spend their Saturday afternoons picketing the new monstrosity, screaming at cars as they drive in to save BIG on everything from bananas to blowtorches! I could do it! With your help, we could all do it!

Sure, I could spend my time doing those things, but will it really make a difference? Will it really CHANGE anything? Only on a personal level.

The Walton’s will stay rich and their business will continue to thrive.

Best bet? Don’t shop there. Just don’t go in. We all have to pick and choose our battles and this one is an easy one.

FINAL WHIFF It seems as though I do have some sort of influence, as shocking as it may seem.

Just as I was deciding on how to finish this column and send it off to my lovely new editor, I got an e-mail from a one Chris Knight, the owner of The Bling Pig Co: “I am amazed at the controversy surrounding these idiot lava lamps.

You would not believe the amount of discussion they have caused. However, given your eloquent and flattering column (you are clearly a man of ultra refined taste and style) I have decided to take them down! We have replaced them on the beam with bottles of beer, and now have a large notice behind the bar which reads ‘Lava Lamps $25!’”

Note to trippers: Instead of buying your next lava lamp from Wal-Mart, please — for my conscience’s sake — stop by the Blind Pig Co. No doubt you will feel good about that.

Seth Fein is from Urbana. He is a card-carrying member of Sam’s Club. Didn’t people used to burn those cards in the ’60s? Or did that have to do with Nam? He can be reached at sethfein@hotmail.com.

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER

6 MR. ANDREW BIRD GAVIN GIOVAGNOLI • STAFF WRITER

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INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, H EAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

way. He had masterfully trained on his own accord, practicing upwards of eight hours a day, as well as through the technical demands of the school. Bird was on a mission to prove he could make a living as an independent musician.

Chicago became his training ground as he made a name for himself with his trusty violin. He practiced for eight-hour stretches, taught lessons, and played gigs — often in the same day. That said, he managed to burn himself out, ironically, by trying not to fall into the classical rut.

“By the time I was 22, I couldn’t play anymore ‘cause I had exhausted my narrow pathways,” Bird said. “So that’s when I actually started writing songs more and putting together a more band-thing with artwork and thinking about the whole package, instead of just being fiddle-boy.”

Bird’s entrance into that upper tier of success has been plagued with this “fiddle-boy” image. As an ’80s era teen, he was spinning pre-war jazz, country blues and even gypsy records as opposed to the more pop-happy artists like the Smiths or the Cure. To date, you can’t pin down his influences simply because he doesn’t have any to place on a pedestal. And when Bird was knee-deep in propelling his career, he happened to get swept up in that whole early ’90s re-emergence of big-band jazz and swing-playing string sections with a group called the Squirrel Nut Zippers.

Realizing it was time to move on and fearing getting typecast as a fl ash-in-the-pan performer, Bird found an exit with his fi rst solo record Music of Hair and his own subsequent rock-heavy brainchild called Bowl of Fire.

Now 10 releases deep, Andrew Bird has become one of the best indie-folk acts to hit the scene. Branding a reverb-effected professional whistle, which some audience members insist on believing is a pre-recorded wind instrument, Bird will put on a live swagger of a show with looping effects, glockenspiel elements, and timing like you wouldn’t believe, not to mention that wonderful soothing fi ddle. His newest record Mysterious Production of Eggs was born on his own recording studio on a northern Illinois family farm, where the curiosity of the origin of his morning’s breakfast produced fi fteen tracks, scrapped three times, mind you, of pure stringorchestrated indie genius. buzz ELLEN TUNNEY • PHOTO

ndrew Bird’s got swagger; an old-time Frank Sinatra bada-bing bada-boom flow. But we’re talking indie-folk/pop here, ladies and gents. That string section — all Bird. And that standoffish “my way” attitude — non-existent. Those crooner days are gone, baby. We’re in the era of the singer/songwriter, the one-man-band. And for Bird, it all started at age four with a makeshift violin fashioned from a Cracker Jack box, a ruler, and some fi shing line.

Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, he began to enjoy the makeshift instrument so much that his mother suggested he pursue a little formal training with a real bowed instrument. As part of a “low-pressure, let’s learn how to play” social activity, he started meeting with other neighborhood kids and mothers guided by the principles of the Suzuki method. Based on exposure at a young age, the method alludes to the way a child can easily pick up a second language. Bird explains how crucial the relaxed vibe was, “There can be an immense amount of pressure in the classical world and a lot [of ] people burn out ... I was glad not be sucked up by that.”

However, this classical-world discipline would start to prod onto his freedom during his college days via Northwestern’s violin performance program. He states with mixed emotions, “To be in music school for four years, immersed everyday and to not have to worry about much else is kind of invaluable ... But I didn’t get where I am now by following the rules,” Bird said. “Like, whatever the program was, I wanted to be doing something else really bad.”

He began to rebel against the conservative ways of the school and, “show everyone that there [was] this whole other world besides classical music.”

Orchestra? He wanted nothing to do with it. To Bird, this would mean failure. He illustrates, “So many musicians who went through that program don’t get anywhere because they can’t adapt and they’re stuck in this bottleneck of these French horn players trying to audition for a few symphony jobs around the country ... I’m glad I didn’t do what they were asking me to do.”

Therein, the decision was inevitable to start performing his

A C H R O N I C L E O F C - U ’S MUSIC MASQUERADE TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

At the 15th annual Great Cover-Up last weekend, 18 bands went undercover at Cowboy Monkey over three nights. The event began in 1991 at Blind Pig as a benefit concert for Muscular Dystrophy Association.

This year’s proceeds went to Hurricane Katrina Victims.

THURSDAY Theory of Everything set the bar rooftop-high with a dead-on impersonation of Cake. Darrin Drda sang “Frank Sinatra” through cupped hands, and Ryan Groff guested on lead guitar to great effect. The Elanors as John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band combined music and comedy, aborting “Yes, I’m Your Angel” after one and a half verses because hardly anyone wants to hear Yoko Ono sing, even when as good and gifted a singer as Adriel Harris wears the Yoko Ono wig. Angie Heaton as Dolly Parton was most notable for Lynn Canfield in a Santa Claus beard as Kenny Rogers, for the duet “Islands in the Stream.” “It’s Dylan,” Matt Ostrowski of Probably Vampires proclaimed, and he meant the son rather than

AUSTIN HAPPEL • PHOTO

THE ORIGINS OF

PHOTO COURTESY OF FARGORECORDS.COM

EXPOSING THE GREAT COVER-UP

Cigarette in hand, Joseph Donhowe of Emotional Rec Club performs as Robert Pollard of Guided by Voices at The Great Cover up Saturday evening. the father. Probably Vampires brought down the house with four fl amboyant covers of The Wallflowers. Shipwreck was simple, straightforward fun as Harman Jordan and John Owen traded lead vocals on four Billy Idol songs. “White Wedding” coincidentally blared from Soma as the last night of the Cover Up let out. Brandon T. Washington and DJs Bozak and Kosmo joined Lorenzo Goetz for an elaborate Public Enemy tribute complete with bananas and a nonfunctional clock necklace.

“Are you ready to hear the truth?” (Yes.) FRIDAY Elsinore got glammed up as Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, Ryan Groff in red vinyl pants complete with cucumber adult accessory. “Almost couldn’t get into me pants this evening; maybe some of you could,” he said. Beat Kitchen slew with a surprise — Queens of the Stone Age. Brandon T. Washington demonstrated his versatility, never really in question, opening with “Feel Good Hit of the Summer” and working up to “Little Sister” featuring Jesse Greenlee on jam block and in a sheep mask that stayed onstage the rest of the night. What most distinguished “No One Knows” was solid

Andrew Bird performs Friday at the Canopy Club.

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guitar work by Michael McLoughlin. Delta Kings saluted AC/DC, as did Tractor Kings Wilco. Tractor Kings previously had done Uncle Tupelo, so be on the lookout for Son Volt next time. Mike Ingram Band began with “The Dam at Otter Creek,” then moved on to more familiar fare by Live, with “Lakini’s Juice” for the finale. Mike Ingram was convincing as Ed Kowalczyk, while Adam Wolfe licked the guitar.

Ambitious Pie Party as Beach Boys bounced Big Bird beach balls across the audience and covered six songs. Between “I Get Around” and “Don’t Worry Baby,” drummer Chris Baker was introduced as Uncle Jesse of “Full House”, with mullet and pink tank top. For “Surfin’ Safari,” the sextet pulled off a fadeout!

SATURDAY Nadafinga kicked off night three with not just Jimmy Eat World, but Hasidic Jimmy Eat World, with a yarmulke worm by guitarist Eddy Rippel. Emotional Rec Club as Guided

by Voices was more interesting than the real Guided by Voices and played an eight-song set with such rarities as “Sad If I Lost It” and “An Unmarketed Product.” Joseph Donhowe sang his way through a twelve-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Esther Cho made magic on a Korg Triton. The Greedy Loves moved things into high gear with six songs by hometown heroes The Vertebrats, promising more shows soon at Mabel’s and Channing-Murray. Just hop in your time machine. Terry Wathen shone as Jim Wald on drums. Terminus Victor as Fugazi

worked the front row into a lather and sounded good whether or not you knew the source material. Josh Lucas supplanted the drum machine.

Mike Clayton of Mad Science Fair wore a thistle blouse and black skirt to front Triple Whip for another Illinois favorite, Smashing

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Larry Gates performs as Flava Flav of Public Enemy.

Pumpkins, digging deep for “Bury Me” and ending sneering “Today.” Bassist Holly Rushakoff made a fine D’Arcy Wretzky in a blonde wig and Morticia Addams dress with studded choker. Poster Children as The Rolling Stones ended the night right. “Sympathy for the Devil” recalled “Mr. Goodnight” (from New World Record, by Poster Children) in its drum intro and first verse, then burgeoned, with backing vocals by bassist Rose Marshack and two others who rushed the stage, took over for her, and jubilantly jumped up and down as a mosh pit broke out. It calmed, then resumed for the one encore in three nights, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.” buzz

soundground #111 THIS WEEK IN MUSIC TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

As

reported last week, Anomic releases its debut EP tonight at Cowboy Monkey. Show time is 10 p.m. and cover is $4. Docile Entropy spans seven songs. It was recorded and mixed at Pogo Studio in Champaign, and mastered at West West Side Music in Tenafly, New Jersey. Anomic is: guitarist-vocalist Junior Zavala, drummer Anthony Maro, bassist Andy Smith, and guitarist Elliot Schunke.

The Anomic release show doubles as a Machines That Think release show; both are progressive-rock bands. Red in Tooth and Claw, the Machines That Think debut, is a ten-track album that began as an EP with the title To Lose Control. With the name change in October 2005 came four more songs: “Clear Blue,” “The Catharsis,” “Awake,” and “Where’d Your Imagination Go?” Machines That Think is: guitarist Bryan Luczkiw, guitarist Josh Kalvelage, bassist Chip Kohr, drummer Nick Lorenz, and vocalist Pranay Patel.

Also tonight, Ryan Groff of Elsinore and Ben Bradford perform for Acoustic @ Arôma.

Show time is 8p.m., and admission is free. At The Highdive, five local acts square off for Battlerusa 2006: Wakarusa Battle of the Bands. Show time is 8 p.m., and cover is $5. Jon Justice Band is first at 8:30 p.m., followed by Lorenzo Goetz, Krükid, Probably Vampires, and Shipwreck.

Another winner will be named tonight to play at Wakarusa Music & Camping Festival. Winners through Jan. 26 are: Prism—Fort Collins, sounds from the scene

CO; Mama’s Cookin’—Denver, CO; Electric Soul Method—Omaha, NE; Loco Macheen & The DeWayn Brothers Bluegrass Band— Manhattan, KS; Eckobase—Fayetteville, AR; My Tea Kind—Tulsa, OK; and Brass n’ Grass— Lawrence, KS. Another music competition commences Tuesday at The Canopy Club. Any amateur can come in from 9 p.m. to midnight and sign up to sing with Live Karaoke Band (ex-The Cheezy Trio) for U of Idol. Feb. 21, 28 and March 7, ten apiece will compete, and on March 14 fifteen finalists will return for the grand prize: a cruise of the Bahamas for four. Vocal ability, entertainment value, stage presence, and personality are the contest criteria and winners will be determined by audience response and judges’ scoring.

After insisting in December that, “No, we’re not broken up,” Normal garage trio The Locked Sound is in fact broken up. The farewell show was Jan. 27 at Paulie’s in Bloomington with The Resinators and Demolition Derby. Bassist John Gaetano continues in Animal Party, while guitarist-vocalist Scott Walus and drummer Jason Potter are available. The Locked Sound was perhaps the only East Central Illinois band to compare its sound to Zachary Thaks and furthermore had performed with Dead Moon.

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of local music every Monday at 10 p.m on WEFT 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com. Support your scene to preserve your scene.

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Live Music

WWW.ANDREWBIRD.NET

Canopy Club; $15 Feb 3, 8 p.m.

Pacifica Quartet Krannert Center 7:30pm, $18 Starcourse Presents: Moe Foellinger Auditorium 7:30pm, $20, $25 Festival Dance 2006 Krannert Center 7:30pm, $15 Ryan Groff (of elsinore), Ben Bradford Aroma Cafe, 8pm, free Battlerusa Battle of the Bands: Lorenzo Goetz, Krukid, Probably Vampires, Shipwreck, Jon Justice Band The Highdive, 8:30pm, $5 Moe Afterparty: Groovatron Canopy Club, 9pm, $5, free with Moe ticket Ear Doctor Zorba’s Restaurant 9:30pm, $3 Shovelwrack White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Eclectic Theory Joe’s Brewery 10:30pm, cover Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Will Rogers Band [country, southern rock covers, originals] Neil St. Pub 10pm-2am, free

DJ Generic DJ Jackson’s Ribs-N-Tips 8pm, TBA Ladies Night: DJ Caos Nargile, 9pm, Ladies free before 11pm, $5 after DJ Limbs Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Bozak Barfly, 10pm, free Fast Forward: DJ Mertz, DJ J Phlip, DJ Bozak Soma Ultralounge 10pm, free DJ Sped Joe’s Brewery, 11pm, cover

Andrew Bird is the best whistler in the world. He may not have won this accolade in a heated competition like the way fellow Chicagoan Twista earned his “world’s fastest rapper” title, but anyone who has heard the man do his thing would agree. With such beauty and elegance, it seems as if a world renowned flutist is creating the sound; his last name seems wonderfully appropriate with this talent in mind. Not only a whistler, Andrew is a trained violinist who plays with both bow and fingers with the energy of an Appalachian fiddler and the composure of an orchestra member. Not only a violinist, Bird can also rock the guitar, sliding down the neck and slipping through off kilter scales and riffs like an obsessed jazz man, oblivious of the world staring in awe. AND not only a guitarist (do you see a trend?), Bird has proven to be a rather efficient glockenspiel player. Quite the Jack of all trades, wouldn’t you say?

Live Music Desafinado Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, $2 U.S. Marine Brass Quintet Smith Recital Hall 7:30pm, free Festival Dance 2006 Krannert Center 7:30pm, $15 Missing the Point, NBT, Something for Sundown Iron Post, 8pm, $3 Dave and Steve [acoustic duo] Joe’s Brewery, 811pm, cover Andrew Bird, Dosh, Haley Bonar Canopy Club, 9pm, $15 Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1

“G” Force Karaoke Pia’s of Rantoul, 9pm1am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke The Office, 10pm-2am, free

— Brian McGovern

Turning Activism Into a Career [Kathy Kelly, Co-Founder, Voices in the Wilderness will be speaking. To Register, e-mail becca@universityymca.org with your name and e-mail address.]

Allen Residence Hall 7pm, free Political Participation in Undemocratic Venezuela [Chavista mobilization and political culture will be discussed by Christobal Valencia.]

International Studies Building, 12pm, free International Coffee Hour Featuring the Congo [Cosmopolitan Club’s weekly series. This week discover the wonders of this African county. Informal atmosphere - come socialize and learn about other nations.]

Cosmopolitan Club 7:30pm, free

FRIDAY FEB 3

Karaoke

Live Music

The Pavilion Foundation School is seeking five individuals who desire to work with troubled youth. This opportunity calls for ongoing, one-on-one academic tutoring for students grades 2-12. Students are available during the hours of 8:30 am - 2 pm Monday through Thursday. Please call Sally Corby at 373-1772 for more information.

Lectures / Discussions

Comedy Duo [One Arab, One Jew, One Stage] Illini Union, 7:30pm, free

UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free

Volunteer as a tutor

Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Group Meditation Ananda Liina, 2308 N. High Cross Rd. Urbana 5:30pm, free

Comedy

Dancing

Oh…and in concert he plays all of these himself, with only a backing drummer. Rapidly switching instruments while expertly utilizing a looper and singing/ whistling throughout, Bird is truly the king of multitasking. With intelligent lyrics, an accumulation of styles meshing to create a simultaneously poppy and beautiful sound, and mad on the spot improvisations, his concerts can only be experienced to be understood. Doors open at 8 pm with the beat rocking Dosh and Haley Bonar opening.

TUESDAY FEB 7

Renegade, Channel 13 Lava, 9pm, $5 Archives of the Future, JigGsaw, The Infinity Room Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Will Rogers Band [country, southern rock covers] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Trouble Is [hard rock, metal covers] Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover Catfish Haven, Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin Canopy Club, 11pm, $6

DJ DJ Elise Boltini Lounge, 6pm, free DJ LNO Nargile, 8pm, cover DJ Delayney Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Lil Big Bass Boltini Lounge, 10pm, free DJ Resonate, DJ Boardwalk Mike & Molly’s, 10pm, cover DJ Bozak Soma Ultralounge 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Who Joe’s Brewery, 11pm, cover

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 10pm2am, TBA Karaoke American Legion Post 71 8pm-1am, free

SATURDAY FEB 4 Live Music He Who Corrupts, Tower of Rome Channing Murray Foundation 6pm, $6 Gospel Concert Parkland College, 7pm, cover Sinfonia da Camera Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $33

Festival Dance 2006 Krannert Center, 7:30pm $15 Johnnyork, The Dolphin, The Anti-Social End, Mindfull Iron Post, 9pm, $5 The Brat Pack Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover Candy Foster and Shades of Blue Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $4 Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Will Rogers Band [country, southern rock covers] Neil St. Pub, 10pm-2am, $3 Paul Sabuco [acoustic] The Hideaway, 7pm, cover

DJ / Dancing Teen Night/ Salsa Night: DJ Dice, DJ Smooth V, DJ Giez Lava, 7pm, $5 DJ Naughty Boy [Q96 Live Club Cast] Joe’s Brewery, 11pm, cover DJ LNO Nargile, 8pm, cover Stitches: DJs Rickbats & Kannibal [Gothic Rock, Deathrock, Minimal Electro] Independent Media Center 9pm, $2 DJ Metro Gnome Mike & Molly’s, 10pm, $1 DJ Bozak Soma Ultralounge 10pm, cover DJ Tim Williams The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Elise Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm-1am, free

Family Fun Kids @ Krannert [Join Kate Kuper, teaching artist, for action “painting” through movement] Krannert Art Museum 10am, TBA

SUNDAY FEB 5 Live Music Doctor of Musical Arts Recital featuring Daniel Fry Smith Recital Hall 2pm, free The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, free

MONDAY FEB 6 Live Music Feudin’ Hillbillys Rose Bowl Tavern, 6pm, free Michael Davis Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, free Tractor Kings Canopy Club, 9pm, free Open Mic Night hosted by Mike Ingram Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free WEFT sessions: The Atom Spies WEFT 90.1 FM, 10pm, free Finga Lickin The Office, 10:30pm, free Jazz Jam with ParaDocs Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA

1st annual U of Idol Competition f/ Live Karaoke Band Canopy Club, 9pm, cover Scotch Greens, Rolling Blackouts Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free Larry Gates & Jesse Greenlee White Horse Inn, 10pm, free

DJ Subversion [Industrial, Darkwave] Highdive, 10pm, cover DJ Hoff, DJ Bambino [hard rock, punk] Mike N Molly’s, 10pm, cover DJ Tremblin BG [lounge] Barfly, 10pm, cover DJ J-Phlip Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ LNO, DJ Impact Nargile, 9pm, cover

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm, free

Live from Nashville: Ernie Couch and Revival [gospel] Living Hope Foursquare Church, 7pm, cover The Black Watch and the Band of the Welsh Guards Krannert Center, 7pm, $30 Ludo, Fifteen Minutes Late Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Nightcap Krannert Center, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 810pm, TBA Greg Spero Trio Canopy Club, 11:45pm, $5

DJ DJ Mertz Boltini, 10:30pm, free Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Barfly, 10pm, cover

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti’s, 10pm-2am, free “G” Force Karaoke TNT Corner Tavern, 8:30pm12:30am, free

9

8 Andrew Bird w/ Dosh, Haley Bonar

Karaoke Fat City Saloon, 9pm, free

THURSDAY FEB 2

art & theater Pattern Language: Clothing as Communicator [The many functions of clothing vary culturally, geographically, and through history. This exhibition highlights the ways in which artists go beyond the everyday utility of clothing and instead use garments as a format to critique standard notions about clothing, fashion, and society, and to invent new forms of communication between wearers, their clothes, and the fashion system.

The exhibition includes historical work, contemporary projects and new proposals, and interactive and wearable editions, some commissioned specifically for this project.

The exhibition is organized by Tufts University Art Gallery] Krannert Art Museum through April 9

Family Fun Around the World Wednesdays [Children and their parents are welcome to learn, create, and play together with crafts and activities from around the world] Spurlock Museum, 9:3011:30am, $1

WEDNESDAY FEB 8 Live Music Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, cover

Project 66: An Exploration of Utopia Inspired by the Works of Ilya and Emilia Kabakov [Project 66 is both an installation and a website created by a group of students from the School of Art and Design, the Department of Computer Science, and other campus units who collaborated on the project in a summer 2005 course taught by Professors Roy Campbell in Computer Science, Jonathan Fineberg in Art History, and Kevin Hamilton

in Narrative Media and Painting. To learn more about the project visit the following website: http://orchid.cs.uiuc.edu/people/adamczyk/final] Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Uninterrupted Flux: Hedda Sterne, A Retrospective [Hedda Sterne’s impressive art career began in the late 1930s when she exhibited with the Surrealists in Paris. She attained national prominence in the 1940s and 1950s, exhibiting with Abstract Expressionists such as Jackson Pollock, Willem de Kooning, Barnett Newman and Mark Rothko, and her career continues into the present. Yet despite her dynamic body of work, Sterne has been almost completely ignored in art historical narratives of the post-war American art scene.

Uninterrupted Flux: Hedda Sterne, A Retrospective brings together almost 100 works from museums across the country and Sterne’s own collection, and highlights notable periods in her artistic career, including her Machine and Spray Roads paintings, portraits, installations, and recent drawings] Krannert Art Museum through March 26

Ed Martin Art Glass [Meet glass artist Ed Martin from Springfield with his newest work – dichroic glass sinks, tables, architectural pieces, and jewelry.]

Wind Water & Light Gallery, 11am

Personal Artifacts: memories, dreams, and reflections [Artists Lisa Nelson Raabe, Jana Mason, C. Tucker, Craig Newsom, Linda Randall Powles, Rhonda Cearlock, Lynda Cole, David Nolan, Jess Beyler, Anne Hughes, Richard Benoit, Diane Huneke, Siti Mariah Jackson, Billy Morrow Jackson, Toni Putnam, Kelly White, Maged Botros, Aldin Lee, Sooan Sohn, Molly Scott, Beverly A. Zawitkoski, and Herbert Marder explore their pasts.]

Verde Gallery through February 18 Mermaids, Serpents and Action Heroes: Ghanaian Hand-painted Movie Posters from the Collection of Ernie Wolfe, III [The posters in this exhibition are a result of mobile cinemas that brought mainstream movies to rural populations of Ghana. Local artists, often painting the posters before viewing the features themselves, had only the accompanying tape jackets to help

them create imaginative advertisements of American, Indian, Hong Kong and African cinema. The results are extraordinary. Explorations into the influence of contemporary culture, these works of art combine global impressions with local ideology to visibly celebrate and acknowledge cinema as a cultural driving force.]

Parkland Art Gallery through February 9

Recent paintings and drawings by Brian Allen Smith Cinema Gallery through March 4

Sharon Zimmerman, painting; Lisa Billman, photography; Amber Ginsburg, 3D Springer Cultural Center through February 21 Life Drawing Sessions [drop in sessions to practice and improve your life drawing skills] Sundays from 1-4pm at the Independent Media Center, $8. Contact Kindra Crick at 352-4668; kindredspark@gmail.com for details.

DJ DJ Delayney Barfly, 10pm, cover Jazz Mondays Nargile, 8pm, cover Metal Mondays Highdive, 10pm, cover

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Comedy De Bono [improv] Courtyard Cafe, 9pm, free

Poetry / Readings African-American Read-In [Readers and a live presentation from West African griot Dawn Blackman] Parkland College 11am, free

VISIT WWW.CUCALENDAR.COM TO ADD YOUR EVENTS.

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INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

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sounds from the scene

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IN

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10 •

buzz weekly

I ALWAYS ARRIVE LATE AT THE OFFICE, BUT I MAKE UP FOR IT BY LEAVING EARLY.

•

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THIS WEEK AT

FEATURED EVENTS

K R A N N E RT C E N T E R F O R T H E P E R F O R M I N G A RT S

As You Like It Thursday-Saturday, February 9-11 at 7:30pm Wednesday-Saturday, February 15-18 at 7:30pm Sunday, February 19 at 3pm Shakespeare’s hilarious musings on the meaning of love will get a contemporary look and sound in this production exploring male and female stereotypes, gender, and power. Is love devotion, sexual passion, a kind of madness, or simply a cultural construct? Perhaps the only thing sillier than being in love, is thinking that it’s silly to be in love. Robert Anderson directs this U of I Department of Theatre production.

Enjoy Krannert Center to the fullest!

Dessert and Conversation: Saturday, February 11 at 6:30pm and Sunday, February 19 at 2pm, Krannert Room, $6

Th Feb 2

We Feb 8

Krannert Uncorked; Arcadia Chamber Players 5pm, free

The Black Watch and The Band of the Welsh Guards 7pm, $16-$30 Corporate Silver Sponsor:

Pacifica Quartet 7:30pm, $10-$18 Festival Dance 2006 7:30pm, $9-$16

Patron Sponsors: Elizabeth Sandage-Mussey and Robert Mussey Illinois Program for Research in the Humanities Patron Co-sponsor: Curtain Call Discussion Anonymous 9:30pm, free Nightcap 10pm, free

Flex: $12 / SC & Stu 11 / UI & Yth 6 Single: $13 / SC & Stu 12 / UI & Yth 7

Traffic Jam: Tons ‘O’ Fun Band Friday, February 17 at 5pm Welcome to the Fun House!

Banish the February blues with the fantastic vocals, screamin’ horns, and toe-tappin’ beats of one of Central Illinois’ classic rhythm-and-blues bands. Come to shake off the workday, come to dance and groove—or just come for tons ‘o’ fun!

Lorado Taft Lecture Merce Cunningham— The Modernizing of Modern Dance 6:30pm, free

The musical fun is free; the corndogs, veggiedogs and popcorn are $1 each.

Festival Dance 2006 7:30pm, $9-$16

If you have a musical instrument languishing in your house, bring it to this event. Members of the Junior League of Champaign-Urbana will find a new home for it.

Their “Save the Music/Music for All” program puts used musical instruments into the hands of deserving area students.

Sa Feb 4

Fr Feb 3

Sinfonia da Camera 7:30pm, $7-$33

Th Feb 9 Krannert Uncorked 5pm, free UI Wind Symphony 7:30pm, $2-$6 As You Like It 7:30pm, $6-$13 Nightcap 10pm, free

More School of Music Events

Fr Feb 3 US Marine Brass Quintet 7:30pm, Smith Memorial Recital Hall, free

We Feb 8 Illini Strings 7:30pm, Smith Memorial Recital Hall, free

Th Feb 9 Student Composers Recital 7:30pm, Smith Memorial Recital Hall, free Smith Memorial Hall 805 S Mathews, Urbana

Intermezzo Breakfast, lunch, supper, dessert 7:30am-3:30pm non-performance weekdays 7:30am through performances on weekdays 90 minutes before through performances on weekends Interlude Cocktails and conversation 90 minutes before through performances The Promenade Gifts, cards, candy, and more 10am-6pm Monday-Saturday One hour before to 30 minutes after performances

Festival Dance 2006 7:30pm, $9-$16

333. 6280 8 0 0 . K C PAT I X

Patron Season Sponsors Rosann and Richard Noel

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council— a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

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Corporate Power Train Team Engine Members

40˚ North and Krannert Center, working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

sounds from the scene

11 A FESTIVAL OF DANCE Festival 2006 celebrates the University of Illinois’ College of Fine and Applied Arts’ 75th Anniversary ELYSE RUSSO • STAGE, SCREEN, & IN BETWEEN EDITOR

ne of the biggest showcases of the talented dancers that make up University of Illinois’ Dance Department is “Festival 2006..”

“Whether you like dance or not, you will be amazed with the dancing that our dancers are doing,” says Linda Lehovec, one of the department’s faculty choreographers and choreographer of one of the Festival pieces. “Festival 2006 challenges our dancers to the most of their physical abilities, and is ultimately a showcase of the strength of our dancers.”

In addition, this year’s Festival will be dedicated to Dr. Kathleen Conlin, who is retiring from the position of dean of the College of Fine and Applied Arts for the last eight years.

“Festival 2006” will consist of five pieces, four of which are choreographed by the resident faculty choreographers in the dance department. These choreographers include Rebecca Nettl-Fiol, Renee Wadleigh, Cynthia Oliver and Lehovec. The fifth and final piece is the Cunningham MinEvent, which is a restaging of a masterwork by the famous and innovative Merce Cunningham.

Lehovec says Cunningham is known for “embracing movement for movement’s sake.”

“For Cunningham, dance is not about a story. It’s just looking at the human body moving through space as an art form.

He’s also a pioneer in the idea of choreograping dance and having music happen simultaneously but not making the dance to the music,” she says.

Every Festival showcased by the Dance Department features the restaging of the masterwork, and this year, being the 75th anniversary of the College of Fine and Applied Arts, a Cunningham masterwork was a very appropriate choice.

Cunningham’s masterwork was chosen because in 1959 he was invited to be a resident guest artist at the university’s dance department. This residency was one of the first by any major modern dance figure at a college at that time.

In addition, Cunningham received an honorary doctorate from the University of Illinois.

Since 1959, the students of the dance department have not produced one of his works.

Having the chance to watch a rehearsal of “Festival 2006,” I was completely blown away by the energy and performance of all of the dancers in all of the pieces. The five pieces performed are very different from one another.

“All of the five different pieces have a very different vocabulary, as you would say in dance terms,” Lehovec explains.

“They are all modern dance, but that’s all they really have in common. The texture, the quality, and the actual steps that are sounds from the scene

in each dance are very different.”

The first piece in the program, “Slingshot,” is choreographed by Lehovec herself. The six dancers who perform this piece are pushed to their physical limits by presenting what Lehovec calls, “a physical interpretation of the music.”

The playfulness and energy of this short but physically daunting piece is fun, entertaining and truly a work of art.

After “Slingshot,” five different dancers perform the piece choreographed by Oliver titled “Beseeching on your own behalf.”

In this theatrical dance piece, Oliver has her dancers explore the idea of “non-sexual intimacy” that occurs “between friends, between strangers, and between loved ones” through their dancing.

By interacting with each other and with intimately powerful Shannon Smith, senior in dance, leaps over junior Jon Hinrichs, during the dress rehearsal objects such as boxes and dolls, the for “Festival 2006” at the Colwell Playhouse on Saturday, Jan. 28. dancers communicate a riveting performance to the audience.

MinEvent, which is performed by 16 dancers.

The third piece in the program, choreographed by Nettl-Fiol, is The piece was taught to the dancers by Banu Ogan, who titled “Entirely; Wholly; Absolutely.” In between the two sec- is a former member of the Merce Cunningham Company. tions of this piece, five of the six dancers interact with five Another former Cunningham dancer and masters student plumb-bobs hanging at the front of the stage. During this in the Dance Department, Paige Cunningham, is the project performance, Nettl-Fiol plays with the idea of “movement manager of the piece and makes sure that everything runs and movement dying” as the plumb-bobs circle around smoothly. The dancers have been trained in the Cunningham and around during the second half. Dancing behind the style, and did not hear the music they are dancing to circling plumb-bobs, the dancers create a pure and until the week before the show. Accordingly, Cunningham powerful energy on stage. The piece is an excellent way to end method calls for the choreography to not match up with the the first half of “Festival 2006.” music. The only words that I can use to describe this final piece After intermission, three dancers perform a piece cho- are intriguing, powerful, and absolutely exquisite. reographed by Wadleigh titled “Starway Asceding.” The Even if you are not a fan of dance, Lehovec reminds all of us, most interesting aspect of this piece is that it is performed “Don’t be afraid of modern dance!” to live music played on stage by pianist Chin-Fei Chan.

Watching “Festival 2006” is an entertaining and enlightening In the second half of the piece, the pianist plays on a grand piano experience, so do not be afraid to see something new or differand a toy piano simultaneously. The toy piano sounds especially ent — you will be pleasantly surprised. buzz create a carnival-like aura on stage which calls forth movements from the dancers that are between Circ de Soliel and “Festival 2006” is showing this weekend at the Colwell Playhouse at music box toys. the Krannert Center. Tickets can be purchased before the show or The final piece of “Festival 2006” is the Cunningham by calling the Krannert Center’s ticket office at 333-6280.

AUSTIN HAPPEL • PHOTO

O

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BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

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F e b . 8 , 2 oo 6

CU views In celebration of Groundhog Day, we asked people, “What are you favorite moments from the 1993 movie Groundhog Day?�

Brokeback

Mountain, the latest film from University of Illinois alumnus Ang Lee, is a Western staged in the ’60s and ’70s. The backdrops are familiar: the Rocky Mountains, rodeos and ranches, trailer parks and barrooms. The plot, less so: a tragic love story between two young men, two out-of-work country boys hoping for better things. It is a film established on dichotomy: open mountains against cramped apartments, unrequited romance against dull domesticity, free choice against social conformity.

The story begins in 1963, on the dusty plains of Signal, Wyoming. Jack ( Jake Gyllenhaal) and Ennis (Heath Ledger) have been hired to tend a flock of sheep for the summer on Brokeback Mountain. The foreman, Joe Aguirre (Randy Quaid), has told Jack that he must sleep near the sheep during the night, while Ennis is to hold down a base camp a couple miles back at a Forest Service site.

The two men head out to the verdant expanse.

Rodrigo Prieto’s cinematography evokes Thomas Moran landscapes. Snow-capped cliffs and lush forests tower in the distance while diminutive humans stand in the foreground for proportion. The shots alternate from awesome panoramas of the scenery to close-ups of Jack and Ennis revealing affectionate expressions and pensive glances. The scenes are colorful and

the time passes quickly, from day to night, light to dark.

The unfamiliar men don’t say much at first. Jack is sociable and tries to talk, only to be met by Ennis’s terse muttering. Alone in the wild, they cook, clean, hunt and thrive. Eventually, Ennis lightens his mood and the two befriend each other. One night, after sharing a bottle of whiskey near the fire, Jack and Ennis are too intoxicated to go up to the sheep. They sleep together BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN • HEATH LEDGER & JAKE GYLLENHAAL and consummate their affection.

The summer ends, and they take separate bliss and solitude. Tight money, schedules roads in sad silence. Ennis is engaged to a girl and expectations force them to meet like this named Alma Beers (Michelle Williams), and Jack only a few times a year. heads to Texas to try the rodeo again and meets The ’60s roll into the ’70s, toddlers turn his future wife Lureen (Anne Hathaway). into teenagers, and each man’s fragile domesEach man marries and becomes a father. To avoid tic edifice crumbles. By the conclusion, Jack and the contempt of a violent, socially-stifled Ennis are frustrated and middle-aged, wondercommunity, each man represses his homo- ing if their relationship can continue through sexuality. The narration accelerates and the such monthly trysts. progression of years is marked by the growth The struggle between Jack and Ennis is about of children, changes in fashion, and strain more than just homosexuality. They want to on tired faces. break away from the dull conformity of prefab, Still desperately in love, the two meet ultramodern America. The mountains, open again four years later. They take a trip out to pastures, and the freedom seem so close, yet are the mountains and, for a few days, live in mournfully out of reach.

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“My favorite part in the movie is, well, I haven’t seen it in a long time, but I’d have to say when he wakes up every morning and the same song plays over and over and over again. It’s kind of annoying but it’s kind of funny.�

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That’s funny.�

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Feb. 2

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buzz weekly •

INSERT FUNNINESS HERE.

13

theater review FENCES

Chicago’s

Court Theatre’s production of August Wilson’s “Fences” is the first major production of a Wilson play since his untimely death in October 2005. “Fences” is one of Wilson’s finest plays and was so honored by receiving the 1987 Tony Award for best play and Pulitzer Prize for drama. Under the direction of Ron O. J. Parson, this current production is very well acted, but is beset with several dubious direction, set design and production choices that detract from the play’s unique emotional passion and impact.

Set in Pittsburgh in the late 1950s, the play documents an important transition in AfricanAmerican history and culture: post-Brown v.

Board of Education Supreme Court decision, pre-Civil Rights Movement. “Fences” is the story of a gruff sanitation worker and former baseball player, Troy Maxson. Troy and his dutiful wife Rose have a teenage son, Corey, who is about to graduate high school and make serious career choices. Troy also has a troubled older son, Lyons, from a previous relationship, a brother Gab, who’s a disabled veteran of World War II, and a best friend and co-worker named Bono who he can confide in.

Unlike the blatant historical references of “Forrest Gump,” “Fences” subtly reflects the times as Troy represents a man trying hard to assert himself as a worker seeking job equality, a family man trying to meet his responsibilities, and a man who lost a host of other opportunities due to a racist society. He’s a powerful man whose personal duplicity causes his wife and family much grief. Where the Court’s production unfortunately miscommunicates in telling this remarkably written tale is in the choices of characterization, casting, and handling of the

play’s symbolism and subtexts. The main characters, Troy, Rose and Corey are fleshed out with such obvious characterization and manners. With no real fault to the actors A. C. Smith, Jacqueline Willliams, and Anthony Fleming III, respectively, director Parson seems to insist on the standard portrayals of a troubled unfaithful husband, the ever-faithful wife and rebellious son.

Smith’s portrayal of Troy is such an overpowering force and oppressive father, an audience never really sees a need or feels a cause for his redemption. Williams excels emotionally as the honest and decent wife; however, Rose’s faith in her husband seems more foolish and typical of societal standards instead of exploring more fully the complex reasons why Rose chooses to stay with Troy at his most tyrannical times. Many times Flemings’ oppressed Corey comes off as a sit-com jock when there are deeper psychological issues causing his father-son relationship to be so dysfunctional. Such obvious characterizations at times lead to several audience members’ inappropriate responses to emotionally serious situations. Parson also makes little or no attempt to portray the significant age differences between Troy and Rose. Troy is a tragic protagonist, a battered man in his early 50s; it is crucial that Troy is a full decade older than Rose. It should be clear that Rose hasn’t shared a whole portion of life’s hardships with Troy. Smith and Williams seem to portray the same age in manner, energy and wisdom.

A key symbolic feature of the play, referring to its title, is also left under-explored. For years, Rose has tried to persuade Troy to build a literal fence around their backyard property.

We soon infer that this fence has obvious other

AUGUST WILSON (1945-2005) Pittsburgh native August Wilson was arguably the greatest African-American playwright of 20th century. Despite being a high school drop out who was wrongly accused of plagiarism by a racist teacher, the self-educated Wilson won two Pulitzer Prizes for drama (for “The Piano Lesson” and “Fences”). Between 1982 and 2005 he achieved the unique accomplishment of writing a 10-play cycle which depicted the African-American experience decade by decade.

In significant productions at the Yale Drama School, Chicago’s Goodman Theatre and on Broadway, Wilson’s works featured some of the finest performances by the nation’s leading African-American actors: James Earl Jones, Lawrence Fishburne, Danny Glover, Leslie Uggams, Mary Alice, Lynn Thigpen, Courtney Vance, Charles Dutton and Roscoe Lee Browne.

In late August of last year it was revealed that the 60-year-old Wilson had inoperable liver cancer. By September, the Jujamcyn Theatre group in New York announced the Virginia Theatre on 52nd Street would be renamed for

Wilson—the first African-American ever given this honor on Broadway. Wilson passed away on Oct. 5, 2005 leaving behind a legacy of rich cultural experiences, proud and incredible characters, wondrous, heartfelt dialogue and written material that defined a century of struggle for freedom and equality.

sounds from the scene

AUSTIN HAPPEL • PHOTO

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

Fences. figurative meanings to each of the main characters. For Rose, the fence is a net to keep her family protected and together; for Troy, it’s a wall to keep out his past ghosts; and for Corey, it’s a never ending chore and barrier to keep him under his father’s control. Set designer Jack Magan constructs such a small, nearly insignificant 2 1/2 foot picket fence to represent these immensely important concepts and feelings.

As the fence slowly grows around the yard

as the play progresses, you wonder how this wooden barrier ever lives up to each character’s perception of it.

This unevenly realized production of Wilson’s “Fences” runs until Feb. 12 at the Court Theater at 5535 S. Ellis Ave. on the University of Chicago campus. For ticket information contact the box office at 773-753-4472 or go online at courttheatre.uchicago.edu.

AUGUST WILSON’S CENTURY OF PLAYS

1900s 1910s 1920s 1930s 1940s 1950s 1960s 1970s 1980s 1990s

Gem of the Ocean (2003) Joe Turner’s Come and Gone (1984) Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (1982) The Piano Lesson (1986) Seven Guitars (1995) Fences (1985) Two Trains Running (1990) Jitney (1982) King Hedley II (2001) Radio Golf (2005)

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sounds from the scene

15 kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

Slippery When Wet The wonderful world of sexual lubricants

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

Theme: “Gimme Shelter” – some tense moments await.

Across 1 Potato chip flavor 4 Air freshener brand 9 John who married David Furnish 14 Glassful in Grenoble 15 Rustic sort 16 Leader with a jacket named for him 17 Had a hoagie, say 18 Cellist Yo-Yo’s plan for a new instrument?

20 Old condom brand 22 Side 23 ___-play (dressing up like anime characters at conventions, etc.)

24 Certain one of a series of clones of a 1990s presidential contender?

28 Breeze (through) 29 Bathroom floor worker 30 CPR user 33 Annoying people 35 It’s needed to make an angel 38 Two toxic Teletubbies?

43 Just meh 44 Petty of “Free Willy” 45 Ring master 46 Gift bags 50 Gavel-banging word 52 Nice shoes for a wrongdoer?

57 Some degs.

58 Words to Brutus 59 Rag on publicly 60 Political thaw around

Dorothy’s slippers?

64 It may be dark in the deli 65 Phrase of agreement 66 One group of numbers to pick 67 XLI times V 68 Common car 69 They’re visible after a dye job 70 That ship Down 1 Frightening creature 2 Skip the shower 3 She goes eight ways 4 Athletic-sounding series of equestrian events 5 Mauna ___ 6 Rap sheet abbr.

7 Body shop jobs

8 Like the first kid to go to college, most often 9 Molar matter 10 Permit 11 Acclaimed 2000 miniseries about crack addicts in Baltimore 12 “Ready ___...”

13 Top hand, in Texas Hold ‘Em 19 Run-D.M.C.’s “Ay ___” 21 Word often misapostrophe’d 25 Gp. against file-sharing 26 Russian name one letter shorter than a Russian river 27 Part of R&R 30 Noted African sportsman 31 Leader once known as “The Four Greats” 32 Isn’t likely to win any culinary awards 34 Show that did the skit “Lazy Sunday” 36 U2 hit 37 “Huh?” in Internet circles 39 Nut 40 “O coward conscience, how ___ thou afflict me!”--Shakespeare 41 They usually don’t make the Olympics 42 Extra virgin source 47 Connected 48 Cigar end 49 Quail-hunting dog 51 OutKast, e.g.

52 DVD button 53 ___ Laredo 54 Chagall and Anthony 55 “I totally had you!”

56 Carell of “The 40 YearOld Virgin” 57 Teenage boys learn to remove them 61 Peruvian singer Sumac 62 Prefix for liberal or conservative 63 Blasting agent Answers pg. 9

Dear Rice and Ruin, “…Here’s a request for you, coming straight from a conversation me and my friends had the other night, something I feel a lot of couples deal with... lubrication.

• Can having under-lubricated sex lead to a urinary tract infection?

• Is it common for a female to feel “dry” if she has had an orgasm but her partner hasn’t?

• What lubes are condom-safe?

• What about those “heat-up” lubes - any different from the regular?”

Take care, Curious Cat Dear Curious Cat, Thanks so much for writing! We love answering questions so keep ‘em coming!

SUGGESTION #1: USE LUBE LIBERALLY Most women will have a urinary tract infection (UTI) at some point in their lives. UTIs are caused when bacteria gets into the urethral opening (located below the clitoris and above the vaginal opening). Symptoms include painful urination, having a strong urge to pee frequently, but not much comes out, and pain in the pelvic region.

This can also be the symptom of some sexually transmitted infections, so it’s a good idea to get checked out by a health care provider.

Sometimes during sex, bacteria from the anus, vagina or penis may be introduced into a woman’s urethra. This is especially the case if there has been anal sex play. So, after you engage in anal sex, be sure to clean the object (penis, sex toy, fingers etc.) or use a new condom/finger cot when switching from anal to vaginal contact. A woman who is not sexually active can get a UTI, too.

Now, on to your question. When the urethral opening is irritated it is more susceptible to infection. It stands to reason that when you are not adequately lubed during sex, the friction from thrusting is more likely to irritate the urethral opening heightening susceptibility to bacterial infection. Thus, when you use lubricant you are protecting the urethra from irritation and reducing the risk of a UTI. SUGGESTION #2: ADD MORE LUBE IF NEEDED During the excitement phase of female sexual response, a woman produces lubrication in her vagina. As the woman becomes more excited, lubrication increases and peaks during orgasm.

After orgasm, as her excitement wanes, so can the “wet” feeling. Sometimes a woman will stay excited enough after orgasm that her vagina will stay lubricated. Sometimes she won’t. If thrusting is still occurring after a woman has had an orgasm, and she begins to feel dry, there are

sounds from the scene

a couple of things she and her partner can do.

One, recognize that this is normal, and simply indicates that the woman isn’t as aroused as she was before. This doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want to continue with sex, and in fact, she can become aroused again. You and your partner can create the situation that allowed you get aroused to begin with, or you can stop intercourse and add a personal lubricant. As always, communication is key, so talk with your partner about what you are feeling, if you want to add more lube, stop sex, etc. Just because a woman can become aroused again, doesn’t mean she wants to. If thrusting continues when a woman is not well lubricated, sex can be uncomfortable and the vagina chafed.

SUGGESTION #3: KEEP IT SAFE WITH WATER-BASED LUBES Most condoms are made of latex. It’s important to only use water-based lubricants with these condoms, or they will break. The lubricant package should say “water based”, “latex compatible”, or “condom safe”. Just to make this extra clear — when you are using a latex condom DO NOT use oil-based or petroleum products with it. This includes baby oil, massage oil, Vaseline, hair gel, lipstick, whipped cream, etc..

Condoms made of polyurethane (a form of plastic) are available, but are only recommended for those who know they are allergic to latex, because they have a slightly higher risk of breaking or slipping off. When using a plastic condom you can use water-based OR oil-based lubricants.

Some lubes are based in glycerin — a form of sugar that can lead to yeast infections. Not all women will experience yeast infections from using these lubes, but if you are susceptible to them, try switching to “sugar free.”

SEX 411: TEST IT BEFORE YOU LATHER IT ON Some newer lubes on the market make your skin feel tingly or “warm” after you put it on, or are sold to help female sexual dysfunction. These warming liquids can add sensation to the genitals and increase pleasure, but sometimes they can be uncomfortable or even numbing. Test it out first, and see if it works for you.

If you experience any pain or discomfort during sex, and want to try a lube, don’t use the warming kind.

Rice and Ruin are professional sex educators and they love to talk about sex! Send your questions to riceandruin@yahoo.com.

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YOU CAN ONLY BE YOUNG ONCE BUT YOU CAN BE IMMATURE FOREVER.

Feb. 2

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F e b . 8 , 2 oo 6

free will astrology FEB. 2 — FEB. 8

ARIES

March 21 – April 19

My friend Rose comes from a large extended family that does not include a single millionaire. There’s no chance she will inherit a windfall from a dead relative. On the other hand, many religious devotees, humanitarians, and do-gooders have graced both sides of her family line. She regards her own idealistic aspirations as being a result of the legacy they left her; she thinks of herself as having received an inheritance composed of spiritual wealth. What about you, Aries? What are the special gifts of your heritage? What talents and capacities have you been blessed with by your ancestors? It’s time to intensify your efforts to make use of them.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

Do you have a forbidden fantasy? Is there some adventure you wish you could let yourself have, but you lack the money or spunk to attempt it? Have you been nursing an impossible dream that is no closer to fulfillment now than it was when you first conjured it up years ago? If so, Taurus, the time has come to resolve your relationship with it. Either renounce it and forget it forever, or else take a bold, practical step toward making it come true. P.S. You have more courage than you realize.

GEMINI

July 23 – Aug. 22

You may not realize how significant a role that architecture plays in shaping your moods, ideas, and decisions. I’m here to remind you that it does. The quality of the indoor space you regularly inhabit deeply influences what goes on inside your mind and body. It’s not just the structure of the buildings I’m talking about, of course, but also the decor, the furniture, the carpets, and the colors. In 2006, it will be important for you to become more aware of this fact, and to be aggressive about putting yourself into environments that bring out the best in you. As a gift to yourself, spend some time inside the most uplifting building you know.

VIRGO

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

This isn’t always the case, Scorpio, but right now you have a certain resemblance to that type of wild iris know as blueeyed grass. Its stem isn’t hardy enough to hold up more than one flower blossom at a time; before a new bloom sprouts, therefore, the old one has to wither. Similarly, you can’t and shouldn’t try to work on more than a single labor of love, at least for the next week. Devote all your concentration and care to it, ignoring the other possibilities. And don’t worry: This narrowing of your focus is a good thing.

The American Dialect Society has chosen the best new words of 2005. Winning in the “most creative” category was “whale tail,” which refers to the top of a thong showing above the waistband of pants or a skirt. But the fresh coinage that’s most meaningful to you right now, Sagittarius, is “truthiness.”

It’s the quality people embody when they assert concepts that they wish to be true instead of sticking to the facts. In his TV show on Comedy Central, Stephen Colbert articulated a perfect example: “Who’s Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was finished in 1914? If I want to say it happened in 1941, that’s my right. I don’t trust books. They’re all fact, no heart.” It’s always important for you to avoid truthiness yourself and protest it when it spills from others. But it’s especially crucial now. Arm yourself with factiness.

June 21 – July 22

After torrential rains caused flooding in the small town where I live, the Thai restaurant was one of the few downtown businesses that was spared catastrophic damage. The maitre d’ explained to me why as I ordered my to-go dinner tonight.

“We’ve always hated our tile floor. It makes the place feel sterile, and it’s slippery. People lose their footing if there’s even a little wet spot. But when the three feet of floodwater poured in, our tile floor held up. All the stores around us had wooden floors that were destroyed.” This is your metaphor of the week, Cancerian. Something in your life that you have regarded as a problem will become a saving grace.

LEO

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

“Though the human body is born complete in one moment, the birth of the human heart is an ongoing process,” writes John O’Donohue in his book Anam Cara. In other words, your capacity for love is forever on the brink of expanding. Your potential to be transformed by compassionate intimacy is inexhaustible.

Your emotional intelligence is always ready to awaken more thoroughly, to ripen more brilliantly. Of course you can resist the ongoing pressure to give birth to more heart wisdom. Shrinking back from the relentless upheaval, you can reject the demanding bliss you’re offered and retreat into safe numbness. Which way will you choose, Libra? This week will be a turning point.

May 21 – June 20

Fashion designer Rick Owens toiled in relative obscurity for years while perfecting his “glunge” look, which mixes glamour with grunge. Now he has his own acclaimed clothing line in Paris. Recently an interviewer asked him, “What is the most important lesson you’ve learned?” His reply: “We’re all freaks.” I’d like you to take that idea to heart, Gemini.

According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’ll benefit from fully acknowledging how odd, idiosyncratic, irregular, and mysterious you really are – and learning to love that fact.

This week’s second assignment is also spurred by Owens.

“What’s your definition of beauty?” he was asked. “With fitness, grooming and an open heart,” he said, “absolutely anyone can be wildly attractive.” Work on that, too. Revel in your wildly attractive freakiness.

CANCER

LIBRA

Auug. 23 – Sept. 22

I decided to work on your horoscope while out in nature today.

Armed with my notebook of astrology data, I found a fallen tree to use as a chair on the muddy bank of Ross Creek.

As I gazed into the rain-swollen torrent and thought about you, a little voice in my head said I should give you the following message: To invoke the awareness that will help you formulate this week’s most important questions, spend quality time watching water flow through the earth, watching clouds stream through the sky, and watching thoughts glide across your mind’s eye.

Good news, Capricorn. Right now your financial prospects look almost as bright as those of the oil industry, whose earnings grew 42 percent in the last three months of 2005. There is a caveat, however. If, like the companies that sell gasoline, you attempt to capitalize on bad news and profit at the expense of the collective well-being, your money situation will suffer. To gather all of the good economic fortune that’s available, you’ve got to redouble your efforts to maintain high levels of integrity.

Several of my friends have given names to their cars, and I know many other people who have bestowed appellations on their homes, their vacuum cleaners, their favorite trees, and their genitals. In Norse mythology, the god Thor affectionately called his magic golden hammer by the name Mjollnir. It so happens that this would be a ripe time for you to experiment with this approach, Aquarius. I think you’ll find that as you name your home and car as well as every plant, toaster, traffic light, crow, and cloud, that the whole world will become more alive and friendly and helpful.

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

“We are what we pretend to be,” wrote author Kurt Vonnegut, “so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” This is excellent advice to keep at the forefront of your awareness during the coming weeks, Pisces. Here’s how I interpret his statement: There’s not necessarily anything wrong with playing a role if that role is in alignment with your highest values.

In fact, to make believe that you are the person you want to be is an excellent strategy for actually becoming the person you want to be.

Homework: Everyone alive fudges the truth and hides the whole story from time to time. What are your own personal top three deceptions? Confess all to www.freewillastrology.com.

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