Buzz Magazine: Feb. 12, 2003

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HAVE A GOOD ONE | FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2004

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The Bread, My Sweet leaves bitter taste (Page 21)

Arts | Entertainment | Community

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MAN,THE FUNNY SENTENCE OVER THERE IS LONG-WINDED | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

BY MARISSA MONSON | EDITOR IN CHIEF

The Story

5 Q & A w/ Gerry Mann

Driving westbound on Green Street toward my place of employment, a large eye sore met me square in the face for months one end, it seemed.

Later, when I sat down to work and glanced out the window, the same blemish was there. The thing that bothers me most about the billboard across the street from the office is that it was clearly put in place by people that just didn’t get it. “Retain the Chief. Return Cantor.”

Say what you will about Chancellor Nancy Cantor, her bubbly personality and quest to retire the Chief, but that wasn’t what made her viable to the community and to the University.

As she says goodbye to ChampaignUrbana and embarks on her journey to New York—a state where I am certain she will be appreciated—most people here won’t realize what impact she really had on the University.

Anti-affirmative action folks, pro-chief individuals and other Cantor detractors just won’t get it; that is, until our University stops growing, diversity is no longer a priority and the void of leadership is felt.

Indeed, the billboard may have “nudged” Cantor out sooner, and maybe

For the past two years, Champaign resident Gerry Mann has been running Champaign’s candy...

Arts 7 Sylvia play review Man’s best friend or woman’s worst nightmare?

That is the question in Parkland Theatre’s...

Music 10 Mendoza Music Line According to our beloved 107.1 The Planet, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”...

Calendar 12 Valentine’s Day shows Valentines Day ... the heartfelt sentimental holiday for some, the dreaded...

Film

20 Barbershop 2 makes cut It’s no coincidence that Barbershop 2: Back in buisness was released in the middle of...

Editor in chief Marissa Monson Art Directors Meaghan Dee & Carol Mudra Copy Chief Chris Ryan Music Jacob Dittmer Art Katie Richardson Film Paul Wagner Community Emily Wahlheim Calendar Maggie Dunphy Photography Editor Christine Litas Calendar Coordinators Lauren Smith, Cassie Conner, Erin Scottberg Photography Christine Litas, Adam Young, Roderick Gedey Copy Editors Chris Ryan, Suzanne Sitrick, Jen Hubert, Erin Green Designers Adam Obendorf, Mark Hauge, Sue Janna Truscott, Chris Depa, Glenn Cochon Production Manager Theon Smith Sales Manager Jon Maly Marketing/Distribution Melissa Schleicher, Maria Erickson Publisher Mary Cory

Got an opinion?

E-mail us at buzz@readbuzz.com or you can send us a letter at 1001 S. Wright St., Champaign, IL 61820.

We reserve the right to edit submissions.

Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Free speech is an important part of the democratic process. Exercise your rights.

All editorial questions or letters to the editor should be sent to buzz@readbuzz.com or 244-9898 or buzz, 57 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

Copyright Illini Media Company 2004

odds & end FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

the Chief will be around for a while longer, but in the future, billboards and picket signs won’t solve the problems this University faces. You can bet, though, Cantor would have put forth the effort to solve those problems.

I guess the only positive of Cantor’s transfer to Syracuse would be the obvious: I won’t have to stare at billboards anymore, or at least until someone else is bold enough to push the envelope.

To Nancy Cantor: Thank you for your tireless effort to create diversity and multicultural education at our University. You will be missed.

-M.M.

N o m atter if you are in the m ood for breakfast, lunch or dinner you can ease those hunger pains and pick up a buzz at the follow ing locations:

hungry for buzz O rig in al H o u se o f P an cakes 1909 W . S pringfield A ve., C ham paign B u ffalo W ild W in g s 907 M arketview D r., C ham paign S teak & S h ake 1709 S . N eil, C ham paign

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Happy Valentine Daze, Aries! Here's an important bulletin from poet Emily Dickinson: Until you have been in love, you cannot become yourself. I'd like you to try that revolutionary idea on for size, Aries. Do this experiment. For a given period -- say the coming week or the next ten years -- act as if the only way you can ever find out who you really are is to lose yourself in sublime yearning for a worthy partner. Assume, for the sake of argument, that one of the best strategies for becoming the unique masterpiece you were born to be is to help a person you love become the unique masterpiece he or she was meant to be.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Happy Valentine Daze, Taurus! The Goddess of Love, Aphrodite Herself, has asked me to remind you that you have always been in love. You will always be in love. In fact, it is impossible for you not to be in love. You'd be unable to get out of bed each morning unless there were someone or something that roused your heart and stirred your imagination.

So please just admit that you are alive because of love; that you are made of love. Now write a list of the ten things you love most, and devote some time in each of the next seven days to expressing your appreciation.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Happy Valentine Daze, Gemini! After careful meditation about what advice would be most likely to energize your love life, I've decided to suggest that you say your prayers while having sex with a saint in a sacred place. If you can't manage all that at once, at least try praying while doing the wild thing, or fooling around with a saint, or making out in a church or temple, or talking dirty to God. One way or another, Gemini, you should blend earthly pleasures and spiritual aspirations. Here's a quote to write on your mirror or your forearm: "I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love." - Henry Ward Beecher.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Cancerian!

After strenuous meditation about what advice would be most likely to heat up and deepen your love life, I've decided you need a stiff challenge.That's why I'm inviting you to have an epic showdown with your fears about love. What keeps you from stripping away your outmoded inhibitions and brazenly exploring the mysteries of attraction? What doubts prevent you from enjoying regular soul-to-soul gazes with your ancient future? Wouldn't you love to shed your psychic armor and summon the chutzpah to whisper in someone's ear, "I'm not afraid to ask for everything."

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Leo! After careful meditation about what advice might galvanize your love life, I've decided to share a thought from Jewish mystic Lawrence Kushner. "Everyone carries with them at least one piece to someone else's puzzle," he wrote in his book, Honey from the Rock. In

other words, you have in your possession certain clues to your loved ones' destinies -- secrets they haven't discovered themselves. And in my astrological opinion, it is the right time and place to hand over those clues -- to make a gift of the puzzle pieces that are most needed by the people you care about. So search your depths for insights you've never communicated. Tell truths you haven't found a way to express before now. More than you know, you have the power to mobilize your companions' dreams.

those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person." - W. Somerset Maugham. 2. "People often start by falling in love, and they go on for years without realizing that love must change into some other love which is unlike the original." - Iris Murdoch. 3. "Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new." - Ursula K. Le Guin. 4. "A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day." - Andre Maurois.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Happy Valentine Daze, Capricorn!

After careful meditation about what advice might fertilize your love life, I've decided to alert you to two practical principles. The first comes to you courtesy of philosopher Rollo May: "We receive love roughly in proportion to our capacity to love." In other words: To be adored more, adore more. Your second utilitarian theorem was immortalized by the character Dicky Fox in the movie "Jerry Maguire." "If you don't love everybody," he said, "you can't sell anybody." In other words:Your most effective strategy for getting what you want is to feel tender affection for the whole world.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Virgo! After careful meditation about what advice might purify and supercharge your love life, I'm making this suggestion: For one week, concentrate all your passion and ingenuity on learning to love yourself better. Write at least one love letter and one love poem to yourself.Treat yourself to pleasures that relax your intelligence and open your wild heart. Gaze in the mirror and whisper a flood of sweet nothings. Give yourself thoughtful, surprising gifts. And finally, propose marriage to yourself and perform a wedding ceremony in which you promise to cherish and honor yourself until the end of time.

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5 Standard deviation symbol 10 War fare?

14 Like many a hurricane 15 Allege in defense 16 Coat or skirt preceder 17 Disappointing election results 19 Seasoned 20 Help 21 Equal 22 Channeled 23 Resolute advice to the hesitant 27 Stuff for surfacing 28 He’s found in the Prado 29 Community contest 30 Stumpers?

33 Flags 34 Hal Foster comic character 35 One associated with honesty 36 No one special 38 Castilian hero

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✍ HOMEWORK:

Rob Brezsny's Free Will ☎ Astrology freewillastrolo-

Send love letters, flowery poetry, lavish adorations, and gourmet chocolate to me at P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Happy Valentine Daze, Sagittarius! After careful meditation about what advice might beautify and elevate your love life, I've decided to offer you these insights. 1. "We are not the same person this year as last; nor are

DOWN 1 First name in animation 2 “This ___ Youth” (Kenneth Lonergan play) 3 Just learning about 4 Discovery of Galileo

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EUROTRIP!

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EUROTRIP is the new movie from DreamWorks Pictures about four friends traveling through Europe experiencing every lascivious, larcenous and lecherous indulgance Europe has to offer.

It’s a comedy that gives new meaning to the phrase “foreign relations.”

Go to www.readbuzz.com to post your own crazy travel story. The first 50 people to do so will

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to a special advance screening of EUROTRIP on February 19th.

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Happy Valentine Daze, Pisces! After careful meditation about what advice might enrich your love life, I've decided you need a more joyously rowdy and rambunctious approach to togetherness. Consider the possibility of making love with funny hats on while watching "The Simpsons," or shaving each other in the bathtub while singing tunes from Broadway musicals, or getting naked at the breakfast table and trying to throw Cheerios in each other's mouths while an instructional CD in how to speak Esperanto plays in the background.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Happy Valentine Daze, Scorpio! Is it really love? That's always a good meditation subject for you passion addicts. Here are some guidelines. 1. "Love asks you beautiful, unanswerable questions." - Carl Sandburg. 2. "Love brings to life whatever is dead around us." - Franz Rosenzweig. 3. "Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other." - Rainer Maria Rilke. 4. "Love is the only game where two can play and both win." - Erma Freesman. 5. "Falling in love is a lot like dying.You never get to do it enough to become good at it." - My Scorpio friend Elise. 6. "Love is like a well in the wilderness where time watches over the wandering lightning." - Pablo Neruda.

5 Comparatively quick 6 Long series of woes 7 Lee, e.g.: Abbr.

8 ___ wheel 9 Plugs 10 Burn 11 Gripping read 12 Brutally destroy 13 Season opener?

18 Miss, south of the border 21 Parsley relative 23 Fine accompaniment?

24 Promise, e.g.

25 À la Poe 26 Fractures 28 Exile of 1302 30 Kitchen gizmo 31 Really big 32 Rights shouldn’t be taken from it 33 Frosty 36 No performers are found here 37 Red sky, maybe 41 Colorize, e.g.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Happy Valentine Daze, Aquarius!

After careful meditation about how I might help you perfect your love life, I've decided that all you need is my authorization to be more mercurial and improvisational. So here's a Turkish proverb for you to try on for size: "To prepare for love, learn to run through snow, leaving no footprints." Next, see how much fun you can stir up by taking to heart this Italian proverb: "Love rules without rules." Finally, Aquarius, experiment with this advice from motivational author, Sark: "Love imperfectly. Be a love idiot. Let yourself forget any love ideal."

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Libra! I'm hereby declaring a love emergency. Right now you need love more than you need food and drink. More than that:You need to crave love with an almost crazed lyrical ferocity . . . with a reverent, burning hunger that some traditional astrologers would say Libras aren't capable of. At this pivotal moment, you've got to find a way to claim Erica Jong's subversive words as your own: "Love is everything it's cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more."

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS

PHOTO | CHRISTINE LITAS

Volume 2, Number 1 COVER DESIGN | Meaghan Dee

buzz FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2004 | I’M NOT GOOD AT CROSSWORD PUZZLES

editor’snote

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EUROTRIP OPENS NATIONWIDE FEBRUARY 20th!

Puzzle by James M. and James C. Jenista

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“What ___!” (“Hilarious!”)

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MOVIES TOO LOVE BY AND MOVIES TO HATE BY | FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2004

Drive-thru Reviews

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2/11/04

ALONG CAME POLLY ★★ BEN STILLER AND JENNIFER ANISTON Aniston does her best to make the movie shine, but even she can’t make the trite interesting or the familiar compelling. She does make it completely painless to endure, and at moments makes it almost fun, but she isn’t Superwoman. Her back, however strong, can only hold so much dead weight. (John Loos) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy BARBERSHOP 2: BACK IN BUSINESS ★★★ ICE CUBE AND CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER Today’s sequel has prompted the average moviegoer to dread a second edition. It’s a relief to see a sequel that doesn’t completely flop and tarnish the image of the first.

Barbershop 2 accomplishes all it set out to do. The audience laughs, has a good time and leaves the theater with a big, goofy smile on their faces. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE BIG BOUNCE ★★ OWEN WILSON AND SARA FOSTER Multiple plot elements involving heists, sex and utter debauchery ensue, but nothing ever seems to hit hard.

The characters’ motivations are so ambiguous that even at the end, when each character is exposed as a good guy or bad guy, it’s still hard to believe. The lackluster final moments that should have provided the film’s titular big bounce just provided a soft flopping around like a fish that washed up on a beautiful beach. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy BIG FISH

★★★

EWAN MCGREGOR AND ALBERT FINNEY Many critics have claimed that Big Fish is too literary for people to understand, and that the masses will grow inpatient with it. However, it’s the films inability to make the characters worthy of compassion that grows irksome. Big Fish will serve as one of 2003’s most imaginary films, but it falls short of its potential to also be one of 2003’s best. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT ★★ ASHTON KUTCHER AND AMY SMART

The Butterfly Effect creates so many different alternate realities that it nearly ceases to exist as a whole. There are some worthy ideas hovering around here, but by the film’s pessimistic, anti-climactic ending, they’ve all just about floated away. Kutcher may have a future in serious films, but if you sit through this one, consider yourself punked. (Matt Pais)

LOST IN TRANSLATION ★★★★ BILL MURRAY AND SCARLETT JOHANSSON Sofia Coppola’s latest work embodies the importance of a familiar face in a country full of strangers. Throughout the subtle, stupendous Lost in Translation, Bob and Charlotte discover in each other not just a friendly face but an ally in the universal game of lost and found. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MASTER AND COMMANDER

WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON! ★★★ KATE BOSWORTH AND JOSH DUHAMEL

Win a Date utilizes the classic love triangle: The girl must choose among excitement with Tad and comfort with Pete, and a life that’s comfortable. If the film didn’t poke fun at its own cliche throughout its plot, it wouldn’t work. Fortunately enough for Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, it does. (Janelle Greenwood) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING ★★★ SCARLETT JOHANSSON AND COLIN FIRTH The film manages to overcome the cliche of similar films that portray typical master-servant relationships.

Throughout the film, Johansson’s and Firth’s performances remain understated yet powerful—like the painting itself—and they come together beautifully to capture the truth behind the painting. (Janelle Greenwood) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

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RUSSELL CROWE AND PAUL BETTANY Weir buffs will get a kick out of watching this film and remembering The Truman Show. While Truman’s aquaticoriented scenes introduced the director’s ability to craft stimulating scenes of sea-swept peril, Master and Commander achieves a far higher degree of oceanic fanfare. It’s a glorious tale of adventure on the high seas sure to put wind in any landlubber’s sails. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy.

MIRACLE ★★★ KURT RUSSELL AND PATRICIA CLARKSON America’s victory may not have actually been a miracle in the spiritual sense of the word, but what Miracle gets right is the feeling of national desperation that was extinguished by the unpredictable triumph of 20 college-aged hockey players. It was something the country needed then and something Disney obviously thinks we need now. It’s an inspirational blast from the past, and that’s something to quack about. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE PERFECT SCORE ★ SCARLETT JOHANSSON AND CHRIS EVANS Sure, this is customary MTV movie candy, a light-as-air ode to teenage carelessness and troublemaking indulgence, but laughs shouldn’t come at such a high premium of logic. This tiresome teen truffle is outdated in every way, from its unbearable Matrix homage to its lame attempt at stylish thievery. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy RETURN OF THE KING ★★★★ ELIJAH WOOD AND IAN MCKELLAN Even if The Return of the King doesn’t win the grand prize on Oscar night, anything short of best director victory for Peter Jackson would be an unforgivable injustice. He has raised the bar for fantasy and redefined themes of friendship, honor and courage on a grippingly grand and poignantly intimate scale. Besides its structural limitations, The Return of the King is more than a rousing ending to a celebrated legend; it’s a battle cry for epic filmmaking. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy TORQUE ★ ICE CUBE Take The Fast and the Furious, remove anything that made that film worthwhile, and the result would be something like Torque. Loud, idiotic and predictable at a level that can only begin to be described, Torque has arrived to take over the local multiplex.(Andrew Vecelas) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

YOU GOT SERVED ★ RAZ B AND LIL’ FIZZ You Got Served is a mistake as a film. A hopeless cross of 106th and Park and any teen film from the last five years, You Got Served is among the worst. Even considering all the film’s problems, it still may be worth a gander for its unthinkable and intriguing dances. Whatever the box office outcome, it certainly won’t be difficult to rationalize picking this one off the shelves at Blockbuster in a few months in favor of braving the cold to see it in the theater.

(Andrew crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

OPENING THIS WEEKEND 50 FIRST DATES ADAM SANDLER AND DREW BARRYMORE In their last film together, The Wedding Singer, Barrymore and Sandler floored audiences with their comedy. In their new film 50 First Dates, Sandler plays a veterinarian living in Hawaii who seduces and uses vacationing women. He gives up his life of many women for one woman who can’t remember who he is. Barrymore’s character suffers from short-term memory loss, and Sandler tries to woo her every time they “meet.� Hilarity ensues. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend CITY OF GOD ALEXANDRE RODRIGUES AND LEANDRO FIRMINO Growing up in Cidade de Deus, the most violent housing delopment in Rio de Janeiro, Busca-Pe learns to see the world through a camera instead of through bars. Through his eyes he tells the story of the violence that is so riddled throughout his world and ours. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend

THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE MICHELE CAUCHETEUX AND MICHEL ROBIN Champion was orphaned as a child and raised by his grandmother, Madame Souza, who introduced him to cycling by giving him the gift of a tricycle when he was a boy. After rigorous training, he makes it to the Tour de France, where he and other competitors are kidnapped.

Madame Souza and her dog Bruno’s search for Champion lead them to Belleville, home of the French Mafia where Mme. Souza joins the Belleville Triplets, a jazz band. She discovers that Champion is being held by the mafia Godfather, and all hell breaks loose in this animated film.

Playing at Boardman’s Art Theatre. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend

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CONCERT FOR GEORGE Various Artists Boardman’s Art Theatre is running Concert for George, a movie of and about the tribute concert for the late, former Beatle. Interviews and performances by artists such as Eric Clapton make this movie a memorable musical performance. (Paul Wagner) Midnight this weekend and next at Boardman’s Art Theatre

Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

CATCH THAT KID ★★★ KRISTEN STEWART AND SAM ROBARDS The entertaining Catch That Kid will capture the imaginations of most pre-high-schoolers without insulting their intelligence or pandering to popular vulgarity and explicit sexuality. Parents won’t have to worry about the film’s negative messages because it’s all played for comic fun and values are reinforced in the end. (Sid Slobodnik) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

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“A moving and memorable Oscarworthy tribute to George Harrison.�...Hollywood Reporter Online.

Concert for George A Celebration of the Life and Music of George Harrison PG-13

Showtimes: Midnight Fri/Sat Feb. 13 & 14, All tickets $6.00...Final Weekend!

MONSTER (R) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 2:40 5:00 7:30 10:00 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 12:20 2:40 5:00 7:30 SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 12:30 10:00 1:00 2:40 3:00 3:40 4:50 5:00 5:40 7:00 7:10 7:40 9:00 9:30 ★ MYSTIC RIVER (R) Fri. 9:40 11:00 11:40 11:50 Thu. 12:50 4:00 7:00 9:50 Sun. - Thu. 12:20 12:30 1:00 2:40 3:00 3:40 4:50 5:00 5:40 BUTTERFLY EFFECT (R) Fri. & 7:00 7:10 7:40 9:00 9:30 9:40 Sat. 12:20 2:40 5:00 7:30 10:00 12:20 BAD SANTA (R) Fri. & Sat. 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 12:20 2:40 5:00 7:30 10:00 BARBERSHOP 2 (PG–13) (2 TAD HAMILTON (PG–13) Fri. & SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 1:30 Sat. 5:40 10:15 12:10 2:40 4:00 5:00 6:50 7:20 9:20 Sun. - Thu. 5:40 10:15 9:50 12:00 12:15 Sun. - Wed. 12:20 1:30 2:40 ALONG CAME POLLY (PG–13) 4:00 5:00 6:50 7:20 9:20 9:50 Fri. & Sat. 12:40 2:40 5:10 7:20 Thu. 12:20 1:30 2:40 4:00 5:00 9:30 11:30 6:50 9:20 9:50 Sun. - Thu. 12:40 2:40 5:10 7:20 9:30 MIRACLE (PG) (2 SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 12:40 1:10 4:00 4:30 7:10 BIG FISH (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 12:20 3:00 7:40 7:40 10:00 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 12:40 1:10 4:00 4:30 CHEAPER BY DOZEN (PG) Fri. 7:10 7:40 10:00 - Thu. 12:40 2:50 5:00 CATCH THAT KID (PG) Fri. Sat. COLD MOUNTAIN (R) Fri. & Mon. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 Thu. 7:00 10:00 7:10 9:10 Sun. 1:00 3:00 5:00 9:10 ★ RETURN OF THE KING (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 12:20 4:20 8:20 ★ PEARL EARRING (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:10 7:10 9:20 ★ CITY OF GOD (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40 YOU GOT SERVED (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:50 3:10 5:10 7:20 Sneak Preview: WELCOME 9:20 11:20 Sun. - Thu. 12:50 3:10 5:10 7:20 TO MOOSEPORT (PG–13) Sun. 7:00 9:20 ◆ 50 FIRST DATES (PG–13) (3

Showtimes for 2/13 thru 2/19

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FIRST THING’S FIRST...

The rip heard ’round the world and other naughty Super Bowl moments

BY MICHAEL COULTER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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3

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | MTV IS SELF-CENSORING ...SURPRISE, SURPRISE.WAIT, HASN�T MTV SUCKED FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS?

hen I was a little kid, I remember believing I would never smoke or drink. I held onto those beliefs firmly, right up until I was about 15. Things change. There was also a time I couldn’t imagine enjoying spinach, kissing a girl or spending a Sunday afternoon watching golf on TV. Yeah, you get older and things change. There was a time about 10 days ago when I could never imagine myself uttering the following sentence, but here it is. Enough of the boob talk already.

Granted, I dig boobs and all that, but if we keep talking about them like this, it’s going to make any sort of breast talk seem commonplace. If this is going to be a country where talk of boobies isn’t dirty and social unacceptable, then maybe I better start looking for a new home. If this talk doesn’t stop, we’re going to suck all the joy out of the mammary gland, um, so to speak.

It’s been more than a week since Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson’s breast during the Super Bowl halftime show and I think it may be time to put that tired moment in history to bed.

Geez Louise, people, is our country this easily amused/offended? Is this video clip going to be the Zapruder film of the next 50 years? If folks had studied that assassination clip in 1963 with the same vigor we’re now looking at a halftime show, we might have actually known who shot the president and from where.

It’s a nice idea, really. I loved the movie JFK and this might make a nice sequel. Oliver Stone could direct and Kevin Costner could have a pointer to show all of America how Justin couldn’t have been the one to expose Janet’s mammary gland. “Look at the tape, it’s obvious. Janet’s breast went back, and to the left; back, and to the left; back, and to the left; completely inconsistent with a frontal exposure. There had to be a second exposer, and thus, a conspiracy.�

They say it was an accident, but no one is believing that so much. What they should be saying is, “We didn’t mean to do that, and even if we did, we didn’t expect to get in this much trouble for it. Unless we aren’t getting in trouble for it. then we meant to.� It’s hard to tell how much trouble anyone is in.

A lady from Tennessee is suing Miss Jackson and some others claiming millions of

citizens are owed monetary damages for exposure to lewd conduct. She asks the court to consider this as a class action suit for the purpose of damages. Wow, something like 80 million people watched the game, so that could be a huge settlement. My only economic experience with breasts has been to pay to see them, not be paid to see them. What a wonderful idea: Someone pays you to look at her breast.

That’s a platform I can get behind.

I suppose I’m only joking about it because I really don’t have an opinion. I’m not sure I was offended personally, but I can see how many people were. Should Janet and Justin be punished for what happened? Absolutely.

They should be punished not only for what happened at halftime, but also for all the crapass music they release. I’m offended by every fiber in both their beings for many reasons and no punishment could be too harsh, as far as I’m concerned.

My point is, if you’re only looking for offensive things, why stop with just the breast? Kid Rock wore an American flag as a poncho.

That’s offensive to me. The fact that it’s a flag is sort of secondary. I just don’t find ponchos appealing on a man.

Nelly seemed to have a very itchy unit that day as well, but that’s sort of been lost in the shuffle. I’m glad Justin didn’t try to scratch Nelly’s penis for him during the halftime spectacular. No amount of apologizing is going to make up for an exposed member on television, even if Nelly had covered the tip with some sort of fancy bejeweled sticker.

If you get right down to it, any true football fan will tell you the concept of a halftime show is, in itself, offensive beyond belief, whether it’s Carol Channing singing “Hello Dolly� or a Backstreet Boy dry-humping the sister of a pedophile. Any true football fan uses halftime to drain his beer-soaked bladder. This takes most of halftime since they have “held it in� for the entire first half.

It’s just that the whole damned day was supposed to be about football to begin with and now it’s about a boob. It strange how children are expected to breast feed for the first few years of their life and then disavow any knowledge or interest in the breast until they are out of high school. I bet most of the complainers couldn’t even tell you the game’s score, they only remember the breast. They missed a really great game.

Michael Coulter is a videographer at Parkland College. He writes a weekly e-mail column, “This Sporting Life� and has hosted several local comedy shows.

News of the weird LEAD STORY On Jan. 16, as bonfires burned across Italy to commemorate the annual festival of St. Anthony, the town of Capena continued its yearly addition to the celebration: a day of smoking cigarettes. Residents, including children as young as 6, light up throughout the day in the town’s bonfire. Italy’s recent anti-smoking drive notwithstanding, many Capena parents encouraged the kids (honoring a centuriesold tradition that originated with smoking dried rosemary), pointing out that it was just one day a year, but Italian health professionals believe many kids will develop the habit nonetheless.

SCENES OF THE SURREAL In November, according to the University of Chicago daily newspaper, Chicago Maroon, in a story about a protest by transsexual, gay and lesbian activists to designate more campus restrooms as unisex, an activist said he knew people who had contracted bladder infections from delaying their urination out of anxiety at being forced to choose between the “men’s� room or the “ladies’� room. Said a lesbian activist of the often-used ladies’ room symbol of a silhouetted person wearing a dress: “Going into (that room) implies that we are

willing to be associated with that image.�

NO LONGER WEIRD Adding to the list of stories that were formerly weird but which now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation: (69) Medical examiners (or funeral home officials or medical researchers) who accidentally misplace one or more parts when a deceased’s body is returned to the family, as the Massachusetts medical examiner was accused of doing (the heart of one man, the brain of another) in October.

And (70) the deadly annual Muslim Hajj stampedes, which result when tens of thousands of pilgrims try to get close enough to three pillars (representing Satan) in order to toss 21 stones at them, and which this year saw 244 trampled to death (January).

COPYRIGHT 2004 CHUCK SHEPARD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

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FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

buzz

Melting away winter blues The experience and benefits of massage therapy

BY ALINA DIZIK | STAFF WRITER

ost people try to escape from something. Escape through drugs, escape through alcohol, escape through lies. My escape wasn’t nearly as dangerous; I escaped through a onehour, full body message.

I lock away my purse and clothes while I change into an off-white terry cloth towel that snaps. I’ve never been asked to lock up my cell phone and amuse myself with how vulnerable I feel without it.

The therapist shows me into a dimly lit room at the end of the hall. I situate myself on the massage table and slide in between the soft cotton sheets. There is a small pillow under my knees for extra support while I am on my back.

She knocks quietly and enters the room after I am tucked comfortably under the sheets. The therapist stands at the end of the table and begins with my head.

Surprisingly, her fingers don’t get tangled in my foot-long curly hair. The light pressure she applies to my head keeps me from thinking about anything; the worrisome thoughts quickly dissipate.

Inside the room, it seems like all the light is coming from only a single candle. The therapist disappears into the dark ambiance of the room. I forget her presence and instead, I’m almost hypnotized by the massage. As she works her way to my neck and shoulders, I no longer feel odd that there is an almost stranger touching my body. I use all my energy to subconsciously concentrate inward and numb myself to any outside disturbances.

She starts her work with all of her customers lying on their backs, because she wants them to develop a trust with her. “I’m very aware of peoples’ vulnerabilities,” she says. “Even though we’re covered, we don’t have the comfort of our clothes, and you have someone you don’t know personally touching you.”

She talks in a soothing voice, mimicking the atmosphere. Light ocean wave sounds overlap the instrumental music in the background. It is hard not to relax. She pauses along with the music to give my neck muscles a deeper stretch.

Massage therapy has become the new “in” throughout the last decade. Though it was once mainly thought of as a spa service to pamper the wealthy, many medical centers now use it as an acceptable form of therapy.

There are more than 260,000 massage therapists in the country. A total of 18 percent of

American adults say that they have had a massage in the last year, according to the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA). The popularity of massage can be attributed to a more health-conscious nation, says Lynette Novelli, a spokeswoman for the AMTA. Battling the winter blues justifies getting a massage. The standard Swedish—or relaxation—massage, reduces stress and stimulates endorphins release. Also, since massage causes better blood and lymph circulation throughout the body, it helps keep a person warm. A person may also get fewer colds, because it strengthens immunity, Novelli added.

Despite its fairly recent rise in popularity, massage dates back to ancient civilizations.

“There are Egyptian scrolls with people massaging feet,” Novelli said.

As the therapist makes her way down my arms, her movements get narrower. She uses different kinds of strokes to conform to each part of the body. She touches each finger one at a time, pulling her hands away at the fingertips. She uses soft strokes for the bonier parts, and thicker, more powerful strokes where there is more fat and muscle.

She rubs lavender oil on my body and I impulsively apologize to for my scaly, dry winter skin.

“There is nothing wrong with that, everybody has all kinds of different skin and body types—you see all of that,” she answers, and I automatically feel less selfconscious.

The therapist does not follow an exact format based on the Swedish massage, but instead incorporates other techniques she has learned. She often mixes in reflexology techniques. A reflexology massage connects

PHOTOS | RODERICK GEDEY

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pressure points of the hands and feet to the cialties. The more training they have, the better they can tailor a routine based on the cusmain organs of the body.

“I think a good therapist, personally, can tomers’ needs. Therapists need at least 550 boost up their massage as they go based on hours of training, Novelli said.

As she moves her way to my legs, she is the way the body is responding,” she says.

“I have to custom make a massage for each careful to keep only one leg uncovered. She person. People respond differently to differ- asks me periodically whether the pressure is “still OK.” I nod my head, too lazy to actually ent modalities.”

A positive response means that the therapist speak. I think about how many times she has can feel the muscles relaxing based on the asked the same question or how many times modalities he or she uses. This intuition and she repeated instructions. Slowly, I retreat back learned experience is important, as often cus- into my solitary state, and again forget her tomers may not feel comfortable to communi- presence.

For the therapist, receiving a massage means cate during the session.

Even after more than six years of experience, having total relaxation. “I think people tend to giving massages has not become an automatic feel better for days, a lot better,” she says.

One of the reasons she became a therapist is reflex for the therapist. She says she tries to concentrate on the individual, and pays careful to help people feel better about their bodies. attention to their body.

People may not know they have swelling in a certain spot, but if that spot is wrongly stimulated, the massage may hurt them.

Those with heart conditions should also be careful when getting certain types of massages, she said.

These kinds of more specialized massages are usually preformed in wellness centers. Similar to a spa, wellness centers employ their own massage therapists but are often more medically focused.

Abby Meyers, a therapist at Mettler Center, a physical therapy and fitness center, says their massages are based less on relaxation and more on health benefits. Mettler’s physical therapists often work with massage therapists to aid their patients.

For example, a physical therapist might send a patient to get his or her leg massaged, Meyers said.

However, Novelli stresses that a good massage depends on individual therapists—not the type of environment in which it is practiced. She recommends calling around to ask about therapists’ speTherapist Lacy Russell gives a Swedish massage.

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film

FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2004 | THEATRES ARE REALLY MILKING THE OSCAR HOPEFULS

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT Movies for a successful Valentine’s Day

Editor’s Note: Valentine’s Day can be a great time to spend with a loved one, sitting in front of a fire, naked and cuddling.

Or it can be a drunken good time with friends playing Edward 40 Hands, drinking away the sorrows from those who screwed you in love. There are an abundance of films praising love and all the happiness it brings, but there are still some out there that show the pain that it so often brings as well—or at least ignore love and focus on the bonds of friendship. This list is full of mere suggestions, and is very much incomplete, but hopefully it helps, whatever your Valentine’s Day ends up as. (Paul Wagner)

Pro-Valentine The American President Bridget Jones’s Diary Casablanca Don Juan DeMarco Dirty Dancing Forget Paris Ghost Love Actually Love and Basketball Moulin Rouge My Best Friend’s Wedding The Princess Bride Serendipity Shrek Sleepless in Seattle Some Like it Hot When Harry Met Sally

ANTI-VALENTINE Chasing Amy Clerks Gigli High Fidelity Love Stinks The Silence of the Lambs Swingers Thelma and Louise Unfaithful Valentine Any kind of porn Any war film (compiled by Paul Wagner & Glenn Cochon)

moviereview

CATCH THAT KID ★★★

BY SYD SLOBODNIK | STAFF WRITER

W

hile most adults probably avoid the simplicity of PG-rated films, most parents embrace such films because they seek lessthan-crude entertainment for their children.

Director Bart Freundlich’s latest film, Catch That Kid, is aimed squarely for the junior high crowd and hits the mark with an enjoyable mid-winter fantasy. Along with screenwriters Michael Brandt and Derek Haas, Freundlich tells an imaginative caper adventure of middle school pals Maddy, Austin and Gus, who plan to steal $250,000 from a big downtown bank in order to pay for an experimental operation for Maddy’s paralyzed father.

Kristen Stewart, last seen in Panic Room, has a natural ease of performance. She plays Maddy, the likable tomboyish girl who favors the adventurous spirit of her father. Maddy’s mom, played by ‘80s Flashdance icon Jennifer Beals, is a multi-tasking professional woman with little time for parenting. Maddy finds her enjoyment in the company of two pals.

When Maddy’s dad suffers a relapse from a severe back injury, and all attempts at personal

moviereview

THE BREAD, MY SWEET ★

BY ALAN BANNISTER | STAFF WRITER

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hen a movie runs at a theater for only one week, even on a one-screen art theater like Boardman’s, there has to be something wrong or misunderstood about it. Such a movie must be either a dud or an unexpected wonder. Very little gray area exists.

The Bread, My Sweet spins a tale of love and devotion—a storyline uncommon among today’s disaffected youth. Scott Baio (Happy Days) plays Dominic, a rising young executive in Philadelphia. In the mornings, he works with his brothers in his bakery in an old Italian neighborhood. Above the bakery lives an old immigrant family, the elderly couple as stereotypically Italian as possible. In their kitchen are icon paintings of Jesus and coffee cans full of money that has been saved for a much dreamed about American wedding for their daughter. These items look on as the two argue in broken English, the old man insisting on paying for the bread Dominic brings him daily.

loans fail, Maddy masterminds a scheme to secure the needed funds for the operation.

Borrowing from classic caper film conventions of the past, Maddy and her friends each possess the expertise and required skills to pull off their bank heist. Maddy shares her dad’s interest in mountain climbing and plans to scale the height of the bank’s elevated vault.

Gus has a knack for the mechanical from his interest in go-carts, and will provide the getaway cars. The geekier Austin, who loves computers and imagines himself to be a future filmmaker, will handle lookout duties.

The film’s narrative also borrows a bit from Richard Rodriguez’s Spy Kids formula; it uses the “kids to the rescue” convention, but without all the hi-tech special effects. Catch That Kid moves at a quick pace, detailing the inventive, comic-book style of training the teen heroes, and smoothly executing an entertaining heist of the bank while a crowd of well-dressed adults are wined and dined at an evening party at the bank during the robbery.

Catch That Kid features some standard highspeed chases, comic situations with witless adults and suspenseful burglary scenes— along with some conventional teen romance, but these scenes are all done at the puppy love level. The script also treats Maddy’s relationship with her African-American friend Austin with colorblind respect.

As in most teen comedies, the adults here are portrayed as a mixed bag of nitwits or brain-dead losers rigidly trapped in the values of the previous generation. The head of the bank’s security squad is a paramilitary stereotype. An older bank security executive imag-

The portrayal of these characters against Dominic’s admitted “Spaghetti-O” Italian upbringing comes as both appealing and woefully cliched and contrived. Despite their hyper-characterization, the old man, Massimo (John Seitz), and his wife, Bella (Rosemary Prinz), become somewhat sympathetic and charming in their own way.

Dominic serves as a bridge of sorts, trying to live in two different worlds. On one hand, he lives in an old-fashioned world where he spends weekends making wine and mornings baking bread. He is the antithesis of the corporate life he lives during the day.

In the corporate world, he is paid to fire people, to leave them in the cold three days before Christmas and to act out other Scrooge-like antics. But his heart knows no bounds, showing exceptional care for those in his life, especially Bella. Dominic’s love for Bella and his desire to ensure a happy life for her goes to the extreme when he finds out she has terminal tumors throughout her bowels.

In an effort to give her the ultimate joy in her life, he asks her daughter, Lucca (Kristin Minter), to marry him when she comes back from the Peace Corps. The love they form is often described as impossible: a love formed from mutual desire to make someone happy.

Many reviews and brief descriptions of The Bread, My Sweet focus on the love story aspect.

But the film does not touch upon this aspect until slightly later than halfway through,

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CATCH THAT KID | KRISTEN STEWART

20TH CENTURY PICTURES

2/11/04

ines himself as a closet actor and does pathetic impressions of Robert DeNiro. The nasty bank president is a snake-like villain who hisses his loan denial to Maddy’s mother saying, “This is not an emotional issue. A bank has no heart, only paper in a vault.”

Maddy’s parents, played by Beals and Sam Robards, are the exception, and are portrayed as likable role models. The film’s best “family values” moments are revealed in scenes of strong father-daughter bonding, touching scenes of Maddy trying to understand her mother’s job commitments and the balanced value she places on Maddy’s daily needs.

The entertaining Catch That Kid will capture the imaginations of most pre-high-schoolers without insulting their intelligence or pandering to popular vulgarity and explicit sexuality.

Parents won’t have to worry about the film’s negative messages because it’s all played for comic fun and life’s highest values are reinforced in the end.

WHO KNEW PRODUCTIONS

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THE BREAD, MY SWEET | SCOTT BAIO which makes the film rather bland, as the development of their relationship is vastly more interesting than the extended scenes of Italian stereotypes.

Director Melissa Martin does an excellent job of keeping The Bread, My Sweet far from the typical Hollywood film. However, her freestyle camera usage and other filming techniques, which make the film appear more realistic in its presentation, become distracting.

These techniques can bring much added balance to films, such as the arresting scene in M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable where the son pulls a gun on his supposedly invincible father. Or in small doses, these techniques can illuminate the more realistic aspects of characters, such as in Duvall’s Assassination Tango.

Unfortunately for this film, the potential remains unused. A few short powerful scenes are not enough to carry viewers through the entire two hours.

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moviereview

MIRACLE ★★★

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

A

regretful former player hellbent on conditioning a ragtag team of players into unlikely victors. Kids facing impossible odds against bigger, stronger opponents. A country uniting behind young soldiers on ice as they restore hope and excitement to a nation in desperate need of both.

The true story of the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team’s legendary victory over the Soviet Union, dubbed the “miracle on ice,” is so suited for a crowd-pleasing Disney retelling that it’s amazing the studio hasn’t already made one.

The only thing is, they have.

The remarkable, real-life basis for Miracle, a sufficiently rousing look back at one of American sports’ proudest moments, was stripped of its authenticity and presented as an underdog fable for kids in 1994’s D2: The Mighty Ducks. At the time, the United States wasn’t embroiled in a worldwide fight against terror, and the harmless sequel to the surprise hit

moviereview

BARBERSHOP 2: BACK IN BUSINESS ★★★

BY ANDREW CREWELL | STAFF WRITER

I

t’s no coincidence that Barbershop 2: Back in Business was released in the middle of Black History Month. Ice Cube and the gang’s comeback is full of culture, witty real-life charm and South Side Chicago flare that breeds its heartwarming ethnic diversity.

A sequel can bring up so many questions: Can the writers capture their original magic without overcooking it? Will the cast come back in style? Can the flame that made the first one stand out be duplicated? The second coming of Barbershop answers all questions with a resounding yes.

The cast is back and better than ever.

Without question, the best part of Barbershop 2 is the banter and chemistry between the stars.

Ice Cube (Calvin), Eve, Michael Ealy and Troy Garity are all back, scissors in hand, at Calvin’s Barbershop. The same squabbles over apple juice and rap music dominate conversation as

WE MISS SCARLETT JOHANSSON!! | FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2004

essentially downplayed the notion of a hockey team unifying a whole country.

Miracle, on the other hand, does everything it can to prove just how much America needed this victory, as if Olympic gold offered respite from the global unrest that gripped the nation as the ‘70s became the ‘80s. Ayatollah! Gas shortages! Disco! And most of all, the Cold War, which provided the heat for the Americans’ celebrated triumph in the Olympic semifinals (their eventual gold medal win over Finland is little more than an asterisk in the history books).

Kurt Russell stars as coach Herb Brooks, a merciless believer in team unity and relentless conditioning. He coached his team to three national championships at the University of Minnesota but Brooks has a score to settle on a larger stage: He was cut from the 1960 Olympic team one week before the U.S. went on to win the gold. Since then, the Soviet Union had instilled fear into the world, as well as the world of hockey, winning four straight gold medals.

First-time writer Eric Guggenheim and second-time director Gavin O’Connor give this uplifting sports spectacle the appropriate pomp and circumstance, celebrating the glory of victory with a twist of American schoolboy propaganda. Most of Team USA, led by Friends’ Eddie Cahill as goalie Jim Craig, remains relatively faceless—no name from Miracle will ever hold the nostalgic power of Ducks’ Goldberg—but this allows character development to stay out of the way of an inherently inspirational story.

these stars play alongside each other with ease.

Like the original, the supporting roles are just as important to the feel as the leads. Larger than life, Cedric the Entertainer is back as Eddie, a jive-talking relic of sentimentality. In this sequel, the writers chose to concentrate on Eddie as a character instead of a quote machine.

As the film’s biggest weakness, Eddie’s story begins to chew like jerky near the end.

Cedric’s accent sounds more like a boxer speaking through a wired jaw than a crotchety old man. It remains, however, and the personality of “Eddie” is one of the most unique on screen to date. His unique history of Chicago’s racial dilemmas and complete disregard for black heritage is humorous and nothing less than integral to the success of the film.

Also joining the cast for this victory tour, straight out of Chicago, is Queen Latifah.

Playing the part of Calvin’s old love interest, Latifah gives another great performance and fits the movie like a glove. Credited as the fifth star of the film, her presence is an instantaneous boost to the cast.

The first Barbershop found success in a simple story—a story that allowed the audience to sit back, relax and enjoy the whimsical dialogue. The second round is much the same: The shop is under duress, and reaching inside themselves to tap their goodness, they appeal to the power of the people and thwart a new barber shop’s attempt to invade the block.

There are some of the same feel-good scenes.

Checkers Fred is still playing checkers and Calvin is still smirking while throwing hus-

buzz

Movie News Compiled by Jason Cantone

MIRACLE | EDDIE CAHILL & PATRICK O’BRIEN DEMSEY

The Exorcist director William Friedkin caused a stir by agreeing to direct a new Paramount film because his wife is the studio’s chairman. This news is simply shocking. I have never heard of someone getting a role because of family connections. I’m sure Sofia Coppola’s audition for The Godfather III was phenomenal and had nothing to do with that film’s director.

MTV notified record companies that they are pulling eight steamy music videos from artists such as Britney Spears and Blink-182 out of prime time and will only air them late at night.

They just don’t have enough room for music videos if they’re going to air the Janet Jackson nipple shot every five minutes.

Brooks said, “I don’t want the best players, I want the right ones,” and his team-oriented concept led the United States past the Soviets in a contest that was less like a game and more like a sports-themed, live-action version of “Risk.”

The film captures that sports-as-global-war sense with the right amount of patriotic fanfare, meticulously holding to Brooks’ ideals of tolerance and camaraderie.

America’s victory may not have actually been a miracle in the spiritual sense of the word, but what Miracle gets right is the feeling of national desperation that was extinguished by the unpredictable triumph of 20 college-aged hockey players. It was something the country needed then and something Disney obviously thinks we need now. It’s an inspirational blast from the past, and that’s something to quack about.

Cold Mountain got the cold shoulder from the Academy and everyone’s scrambling to make up as many excuses as possible. First, they blamed Nicole Kidman for looking too pretty.

Then, they blamed Miramax for not promoting it enough. Now, Miramax honcho Harvey Weinstein is blaming Oscar-winning director Anthony Minghella for shooting the Civil War epic in Romania instead of the United States.

Rumors that the film is too boring, too predictable or was too much of an Oscar wannabe from day one were quickly dismissed after pundits realized Minghella’s The English Patient swept the awards despite those factors.

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“The touch element of the massage helps customers have a more positive outlook on their body,” the therapist says. “It helps people feel more aware, and therefore, more comfortable.”

“We’re not always huge touchers,” she says.

“I don’t touch everything, but I (touch) almost all over your body, and you can’t get that very many places.”

She holds up the blanket in a tent form, and asks me to turn over on my stomach. She places moist, warm towels on my back for a few moments. The warmth makes me remember and dread the moment I will have to go out into the cold.

“During a massage session, the most common side effect is nausea. Since toxins are stirred up in the bloodstream, a customer can feel nauseous,” Novelli says.

Toxins are usually stirred up when the therapist tries to rub out the knots in the muscles of the body.

“Knots are really just contracted muscles that stay contracted even when you are relaxed,” she explains. “There are times when muscles are very, very tense and you can experience a little bit of discomfort.”

GerryMann

Barbershop 2 ★★★★

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad

I’ve been doing it for a little over two years now. There was only one other Candy Bouquet when I opened, in Bloomington, and now there are about 12. So it’s growing really fast.

Rantoul

“Not bad for a sequel."

Dellrae Lawrence Chicago

"I liked the jokes.”

How long does it take to make a bouquet?

For the past two years, Champaign resident Gerry Mann has been running Champaign’s Candy Bouquet, a unique franchise that delivers bouquets of candy all over the world. This shop, located in the heart of downtown Champaign, strives to design personalized gifts using gourmet candies. Never dreaming that she would manage her own store, Gerry now takes pleasure in gracing the community with her decorative bouquets of candy.

★★★★

SCREEN REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★

When did you get into the business?

Jeremy Collins

★★★★

What is the history behind Candy Bouquet?

Jeremy Lawrence Chicago

"Eddie was funny."

What made you want to get into the candy business?

We opened in December of 2001. I was traveling in California with my husband, and I believe I saw a popcorn bouquet someplace out there, and when I came back home, I decided I was going to do something. I loved wrapping gifts, and I wanted to do something from home. I got on the Internet, and I was looking for things that might possibly work for us, and I came across the popcorn bouquet again. One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I put in my application to become a franchise.

Compiled by Roderick Gedey

tlers out of his shop. The greatest success of all might be how, despite arguments and shady situations, there isn’t a character in the movie whom the audience can’t root for.

Today’s sequel has prompted the average moviegoer to dread a second edition. After last summer’s Dumb and Dumberer and 2 Fast 2 Furious, as well as the Matrix trilogy that weakened toward the end, there’s no doubt why. It’s a relief to see a sequel that doesn’t completely flop and tarnish the image of the first.

Barbershop 2 accomplishes all it set out to do.

The audience laughs, has a good time and leaves the theater with big, goofy smiles on their faces.

An hour later, she tells me I should slowly and carefully get up because massage naturally lowers blood pressure. I’m almost tempted to ask if I could lay there a bit longer and take a nap.

When I leave the room, I meet Laura Lasater, the massage therapist that helped me escape at BJ Grand Salon and Spa. It takes me a moment to realize that Laura was the person in the massage therapy room with Therapists use many different massage techniques. me. She brings me a glass of ice water to flush out the toxins, and comfortably puffy, and while she doesn’t advises me to substitute caffeine with have color on her fingernails, they are water today. I give her my I’m-too-under- well groomed. Laura gives me a firm goodbye handshake, and I take out my slept-to-avoid-coffee look.

Her blonde hair is scrunched with gel credit card to pay the $55 bill, plus a tip.

As I leave, I can’t help but wonder if and she wears a silver necklace with a gray stone matching her patterned short- maybe next time I should escape through a sleeve blouse. Her 27-year-old hands look five dollar bottle of Skol vodka instead. buzz

Q & A

C-UViews

BARBERSHOP 2 | CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER

community

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

PHOTOS | RODERICK GEDEY

5:18 PM

BUENA VISTA PICTURES

2/11/04

METRO GOLDWYN MAYER

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We are a franchise, and in 1989 was when the franchise was established. Margaret McEntire opened up the business in her garage. We are about 750 stores strong now. It’s kind of a fastgrowing franchise.

The average time is about 45 minutes. It’s different and unique; it’s one-of-a-kind because nothing is ever the same. You never have the same bouquet because everything is all handmade.

What is a typical day like for you?

The business takes a lot of time. I am up here really early in the morning and I leave at 5:30 or 6:00 usually every day. I spend most of my time here making and taking orders.

What holidays are the busiest for you?

Valentine’s Day is our biggest holiday. I can’t imagine what it will be like this year. Mother’s Day is right on the heels of that.

What is your most popular Valentine’s Day item?

For Valentine’s Day, I believe it’s going to be our popcorn bouquet, which I turned into a Valentine Bouquet. I added a few more cutesies. Who knows by the 14th what is going to happen? I need at least 250 to 300 bouquets made and ready for Valentine’s Day. What is the best part of your job?

It doesn’t even feel like a job at times, because it’s so much fun to do. This is a happy product, and most people can’t say that they work and enjoy their jobs anymore, and I do. The customer’s response is always the same; everybody relates to candy.

What would you be doing if you were not running Candy Bouquet?

I’d probably be in a job that I’m not really happy doing. I really can’t imagine being at a job that I dislike.

How do you spend your free time?

My spare time is mainly devoted to my family.

I have a daughter who is having a baby in April. We’re really excited about that. My husband and I do a lot of things together, so I usually spend time with him or read books.

What is the best piece of advice you have been given?

Margaret McEntire, the lady who is responsible for the founding of Candy Bouquet, strongly encourages giving back to your own community. I feel that we do that a lot, and when you do that, your return is tenfold; I’m not thinking money when I say that.

It’s just rewarding that you can be a part of helping out others sometimes.

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arts

SHUT UP, BRAIN, OR I’LL STAB YOU WITH A Q-TIP. | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

buzz

“Elysium on the Prairie”

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n a room swarming with anticipation and suggested synapses of dialogue, these players are ready for action this Friday night.

Some are dressed in long, black trench coats and heavy boots while others wear threepiece suits. These excited bodies are perfectly dressed for the occasion. The room is amazingly cheerful and all participants involved seem ready to step into the roles of their characters. In an instant the atmosphere changes and Champaign transforms into a hunting ground for a new breed of vampires, but only on Friday nights at 8:00.

“Elysium on the Prairie,” a live-action roleplaying game, has been at the University of Illinois for the last seven years. “It’s a game where 30 to 50 people come out and pretend to be their own vampire character. The game has no script and is based on improvisational skills. Neither does the game have an end or a winner. It is tons of fun and a great friendbuilder,” says Matt Banach, the game’s president.

Participants describe the setting for “Elysium on the Prairie” as “modern gothpunk,” similar to movies such as “Blade” and “Underworld.” The theme revolves around vampires trying to stay alive in modern society and avoiding destruction by other supernatural creatures such as werewolves.

Elysium, an old Greek word for heaven, means a safe place in the middle of a wilderness. In the game’s plotline, the vampires have come to Champaign, an imaginary

sanctuary ground, to find peace and a better chance of survival.

Anyone can join this improvisational game, as long as they have an active imagination, understand all the concepts of what it means to be a vampire, and love to have fun.

“I was doing a report on vampires and ran across the game through the University’s student registered organizations. I decided to play because it could help me finish up my work. I’ve been watching the game for about two months and now I’m excited (to actually participate),” says first-time player Dan Cozzi.

The game is virtually driven by the participants and their creativity. The plot of the game resembles a soap opera. Characters are sometimes deceived, killed or reborn through new characters. The game is not only played here in Champaign, but also in other cities and states. Plots are even linked to games in other countries. Participants of the game are allowed to play anywhere.

The game does have some rules: Players must create goals for their characters—like the yearning for power or acceptance—and they should work with other players to keep the game true to form yet fun for everyone.

“Each character has a goal, whether it may be striving for power, survival, morality, courage, self-control or otherwise. It’s interesting to watch the different storylines that emerge, fitting in with our ongoing story of a city of vampires,” says Banach. There are also administrative storytellers (STs) who keep the game from moving outside the genre or becoming too silly.

People who play the game are usually stu-

Illini Union when they have special events or when a larger number of players from other games around the country want to participate. The players arrive between 6:30 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. and the game is in full swing by 8:30 p.m. buz z

dents from the University; some are from other professions. They meet in Gregory Hall every Friday from 6:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. The same game has been running since the early ‘90s and still has some of its original members. The members sometimes meet in the

this week Th Feb 12 Wine Tasting 5pm, LOB, free UI Symphony Orchestra 7:30pm, FGH, $2-$5 Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

Fr Feb 13 Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

Sa Feb 14 Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra 7:30pm, FGH, $10-$28 Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

Su Feb 15 Concertante 3pm, FGH, $23-$31 Sponsors: Jan and Ray Shepardson

@

krannert center

We Feb 18 UI Wind Symphony and UI Symphonic Band I 7:30pm, FGH, $2-$5 Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

Organizing Your Home Office for Success Instructed by Melinda Harper, owner of Melinda's Professional Organizing in Mackinaw, Ill, this class will help by teaching innovative ways to get organized and preview some of the latest space saving tools to help organize the home office and simplify life. Class will be held Saturday from 9:3011:30am at Robeson Hall, 222 N. State St in Champaign. Course fee is $15. Call 351-2546 for more information. Course will be held Feb 28.

Registration deadline is Feb 20.

Basic Scrapbooking – Choose a theme, organize photos, and pick one of 12 embossed scrapbooks.

Hands-on instruction by Desiree Jones utilizes many scrapbook tools and accessories, such as eyelets, die-cuts, stickers, embellishments, and more. Finish the class with a completed scrapbook and the technique and skill to create many more.

Class will meet on Saturday, March 6 from 1-4pm in room D105 on the Parkland campus. The fee is $50. Call 351-2546 for more information.

Registration deadline is Feb 20.

Beginner Computers I– This afternoon class is designed for students who are acquainted with the computer and are on friendly terms with the mouse. Participants will learn to format a document; cut, copy, and paste; save and find files; and much more. Classes will meet on Mondays from 13pm at the Illinois Employment & Training Center, 1307 N. Mattis Ave., Champaign. The course fee is $41. The course runs Feb 23-March 8. For more information, call 351-2546. Registration deadline is Feb 16.

Beginner Computers II– This evening class is designed for students who are acquainted with the computer and are on friendly terms with the mouse. Participants will learn to format a document; cut, copy, and paste; save and find files; and much more. Classes will meet on Mondays from 68 p.m. at the Illinois Employment & Training Center, 1307 N. Mattis Ave., Champaign. The course fee is $41. For more information, call 351-2546.

The course meets Feb 23-March 8. Registration deadline is Feb 16.

Th Feb 19 Wine Tasting 5pm, LOB, free Concert Prep: Moscow State Radio Symphony Orchestra and Chorus 6:45pm, CPH, free

Home Buyer's Seminar – Learn important steps in the home buying process including pre-qualification, inspection, and closing. Class will meet on Saturday from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at 1315 N. Mattis Ave., in Champaign. The course fee is $20 for individuals or same household couples and includes a workbook. The course will be held Feb 21. Call 3512235 to register.

Moscow State Radio Symphony Orchestra and Chorus 7:30pm, FGH, $27-$44 Sponsors: Carolyn Burrell Richard Cogdal James Russell Vaky

Foundation of Teamwork – Competition demands that organizations do more, in a shorter response time, with fewer resources. Participants in this class will identify their primary communication style and those of their team members and develop plans to build better working relationships with other team members. Class meets Thursday, February 19 from 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at 1315 N. Mattis Ave, Champaign. Course fee is $110. The course meets Feb 19. To register, call 351-2235.

Tu Feb 17 Mobile Jazz 7pm, Champaign Public Library, free Sponsors:

Reaching for Stellar Service – Explore how customers define stellar service and the challenge of delivering such service. Learn the key moments of truth in customer interaction. Class meets from 8:30a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Wednesday, February 18 at 1315 N. Mattis Ave, Champaign. Fee is $99. The course will be held Feb 18. To register, call 3512235.

Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

MIND BODY SPIRIT

PHOTOS | ADAM YOUNG

Some Krannert Center programs are supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts, the Illinois Arts Council, and patron and corporate contributions.

Season Sponsors Coporate Season Underwriters

Patron Season Sponsors

Some of the members of the cast on the set of “Elysium on the Prairie.” From left to right: Tina Stover, Terri Koerner, Chris Abbott, Matt Banach, Eric Stover, Anne Mestern, Nick Bielawski.

CAROLE AND JERRY RINGER

Champaign-Urbana Symphony concerts are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council, a state agency.

217/333-6280 or 800/KCPATIX 217/333-9714 (TTY) 217/244-SHOW (Fax) 217/244-0549 (Groups) kran-tix@uiuc.edu

Sunday Zen Meditation Meeting – Prairie Zen Center, 515 S Prospect, Champaign, NW corner of Prospect & Green, enter through door from parking area. Introduction to Zen sitting, 10am; full schedule: Service at 9am followed by sitting, Dharma Talk at 11 followed by tea until about noon. Can arrive at any of the above times, open to all, no experience needed, no cost. For information, call 355-8835 or www.prairiezen.org.

Ticket Office Open 10am to 6pm daily; on days of performances open 10am through intermission.

Prairie Sangha for Mindfullness Meditation – Monday evenings from 7:30-9pm and monthly retreats on Sunday. Theravadan (Vipassana) and Tibetan (Vjrayana & Dzogchen) meditation prac-

KrannertCenter.com

calendar

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

MEETINGS & WORKSHOPS

Lights, camera, action and no script:

BY TERESA SEWELL | STAFF WRITER

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tice. Meets in Urbana. For more information, call or email Tom at 356-7413 or shayir@soltec.net. www.prairiesangha.org.

Falun Gong – Falun Gong is a powerful ancient exercise that improves health, reduces stress and increases energy. This practice involves slow gentle movements of the body, while it teaches the principles of truthfulness, benevolence and forbearance. Springer Cultural Center. Feb 7, Feb 14, 10:30-11:30am. Fee is $5. For more information, call 398-2376.

Falun Dafa Teaching Workshop – Falun Gong is an advanced meditation exercise that improves health, reduces stress and increases energy. The practice involves gentle movements of the body, while it teaches the truthfulness, benevolence and forbearance. Falun Gong is enhances practitioners spiritually, mentally and physically. Springer Cultural Center. Feb 7 & 14. 10:30-11:30am. Fee $5.

For more info, call 398-2376.

Parkland and Normal community bands to perform joint concert – The Parkland Community Band will perform in a joint concert with the Normal Community Band on Sunday, Feb 29 at 2:30p.m. at the Wesley United Methodist Church in Bloomington. The concert is free and open to the public. Musical selections that the bands will perform together include "A Festival Prelude" by Alfred Reed and songs from the musical, "My Fair Lady." Michael Wallace conducts the Normal Community Band; Greg Grove conducts the Parkland Community Band.

Parkland-ICTM Math Contest – On Feb 28, the 2004 Parkland-ICTM Regional High School Math Contest will be held at Parkland on Saturday, Feb 28. Over 1,100 students are expected to participate. Most events begin at 9 a.m. The awards ceremony will be held at the Parkland gym at 2pm and is open to the public. eBay 101 – On March 9 and 16, participants will learn how to set up an eBay account, buy and list items, pay and collect payments, determine shipping costs, and use photographs as an advantage.

Classes will meet Tuesdays from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Parkland College Bauman Center, 2104 W Park Ct, Champaign. The course fee is $29. For more information call (217) 351-2546. Registration deadline is March 2.

Conversational Spanish II– On Mar 15-April 26, this class will build on skills learned in Conversational Spanish I. Participants will learn new materials presented in a variety of ways, including stories.

Participants should have completed Conversational Spanish I or be able to converse in Spanish at a basic level. Classes will be held on Mondays from 7-9pm in room X116 at the Parkland College campus. The course fee is $69.

For more information call (217) 351-2546.

Registration deadline is March 8.

E-Mail and the Internet – March 15-29, this course teaches Internet terminology, how to download files and graphics, and how to search for information online. Participants will explore interesting websites and learn the "ins and outs" of e-mail.

This course is for those who are familiar with Windows. Classes will meet on Mondays from 1-3pm at the Illinois Employment Training Center, 1307 N Mattis Ave, Champaign. The course fee is $41. Call (217) 351-2546 for more information.

Registration deadline is March 8.

Intermediate Computers – March 15-29, what happens to computer files after they are deleted? This course is for those who want to learn more about how their computer operates. Learn to locate lost files, create address labels, insert clip art, and make columns. The class meets Mondays from 6-8pm at the Illinois Employment Training Center, 1307 N Mattis Ave, in Champaign. The course fee is $41.

Registration deadline is March 8. Call (217) 3512546 for more information.

National Biennial Ceramics Invitational ("Elevating the Utilitarian: Transforming the Vessel through Surface Decoration") – March 1April 9, the Parkland Art Gallery will host the 9th Biennial Ceramics Invitational. This year's exhibit, co-curated by Parkland faculty Chris Berti and Laura O'Donnell, includes nationally known artists Sam Chung of Michigan, Julia Galloway of New York, John Glick of Michigan, Michael Hunt of North Carolina, and others. A reception will be

19

held Tue, March 16 from 6-8 p.m., with a gallery talk by Berti and O'Donnell at 7pm.

For more information call (217) 351-2485.

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES Mediators Needed – Are you interested in assisting others in resolving conflict? The Office for Student Conflict Resolution is accepting applications forvolunteer mediators. We offer free extensive training for students to become Mediators. The training session will be held Feb 20-22. You must be able to attend the entire training session. The deadline to receive applications is this Friday. Please applyearly – there are a limited number of spaces available. You will be notified by Tuesday, if you have been selected to participate. Apply online at http://www.conflictresolution.uiuc.edu/m ediation/training.asp. If you have any questions please email conflictresolution@uiuc.edu.

Sexual Assault Crisis Advocacy – A Woman’s Fund is seeking volunteers to serve as advocates for our 24-hour hotline and 24-hour medical/legal Advocacy programs. Contact Michelle Clutts at train4rcs@yahoo.com.

Camp Activity Assistants – Volunteers will assist coordinator with craft, movement, cooking and other fun activities.

Thomasboro students have the opportunity to attend camp during Spring Break (March 15-18). For more information, contact Lisa Comstock at 643-3275.

Celebration of African American Month – We would like to have one or two African American fraternities or sororities come to our school and do a short "Step" performance for our children. 75 percent of the children that we serve are African American and we would like to expose them to some role models of our community and think this would be a great way to do it. We are also looking for Black males that would like to come to the classrooms and read to the children on a one time basis. Contact Maggie Rodriguez-Nieto at 351-3711.

Prevention Initiative – Interested in working with moms and their children? You could volunteer as a support group assistant. Volunteers are asked to commit to 6 months. An excellent opportunity to volunteer with children, and moms. A wonderful experience for someone who wants to work with the Spanish speaking population. Some groups are Spanish only speaking; volunteers in those groups must be bilingual. For more information, contact Janice Connelly at jconnelly@provenabehavioralhealth.org or 398-8080.

Computer Lab Assistant – Generations of Hope in Rantoul which serves at-risk youth working with senior citizens, is seeking volunteers to help the kids with computer activities in their computer lab on any weekday between 3:30-5:30. Contact Carolyn Casteel at 893-4673.

CROSSWORD ANSWERS P. 23 W A L T

P A R E R

I S O U R O B E S E

N E W T O L E F T TU RN

T T H O A M O D O Z

S A S O R U T T A S J A P L A O N U S E

TU RN

S P R I E R O M E N

I L I A D W H I T E

N O O N D E

G M A E A D N G S L A D O N D A L I A N E S N D O E T Y E S Y U T A O P E R C E D T A P A L S TU RN

S M A R T

P A M A X I G E D E E R B E E A R N C I D E K E S N H A N A H A T N O S E C O T E E T Y M TU RN

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 34¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 25¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

Employment 000 HELP WANTED | Full Time Express Personnel Services 217.355.8500 101 Devonshire Dr., Champaign

Services

100

BUSINESS SERVICES Graphic design studio is seeking models for beauty and style photography. www.victoriasphoto.com Victoria’s Photographics 217-328-3013

CLEANING Exact Extraction. Carpet & upholstery cleaning. Free estimates. 6883101.

LAWN CARE FREE ESTIMATES: Tree trimming, Topping, Removal, Stump Grinding.

384-5010.

Apartments

400

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished

Courtyard Apartments 713 S. Randolph, Champaign Renting for Fall/2 & 3 Bedrooms.

Furnished & Unfurnished From $608/mo.

Includes cable, parking, water.

Has laundry facility and seasonal pool. Near campus and downtown Champaign.

352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com (217)384-6930 “believe the hype”

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Unurnished 1519 W. Healey, C. Conveniently located 1 BR now available. $385/mo. 352-8540, 3554608 pm. www.faronproperties.com 800 W. Church, C. Now avail. Economical 2 BR. $450/mo. 352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com Brand new luxury 1, 2, 3, bedroom apartments available in Champaign.

Call Manchester Property Management at 359-0248 for an appointment.

Announcements800 MEETINGS There is Help and Healing after abortion. Had an abortion? Feeling grief, anger, shame? We understand abortion pain and loss. Support group recovery classes forming.

Postabortion Helpline-217-328-2033 Calls completely confidential.

E-mail: newbeginningaglo@aol.com Web: http://hometown.aol.com/ccweaver/ myhomepage/index.index.html We know, we understand and we want to help you heal!

Call for help today!

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calendar CONCERTS

Gospel Concert – This annual event features traditional and contemporary gospel praise and worship music. Parkland College Theatre. Feb 21, 710pm.

The Parkland Wind Ensemble and the Parkland Community Orchestra – The wind ensemble, conducted by Greg Grove, will include in its program "The Golden Years" by Leroy Anderson and "Montmartre March" by Haydn Wood. The orchestra, conducted by Jack Ranney, will perform "Il Re Pastore Overture" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart / Mueller and others. First Baptist Church of Champaign in Savoy. The show will be Mar 7 at 3pm.

Elysium on the Prairie, Live Action Roleplaying – Vampires stalk the city streets and struggle for dominance in a world of gothic horror. Create your own character and mingle with dozens of players who portray their own undead alter egos. Each session is another chapter in an ongoing story of triumph, tragedy and betrayal. Fridays,“Vampire: The Masquerade.” For more information, visit www2.uiuc.edu/ro/elysium/intro.html. Check site for location, 7pm.

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

Funfare – Come to The Phillips Recreation Center for Funfare Thur, 10:30-11am, presented by The Urbana Free Library Children’s Department. There will be stories, songs, puppets and films for children of all ages and their parent(s) or caregiver(s).

No registration is required for this drop-in program. For more information, call 367-4069.

Babies’ Lap Time – Babies and their parent(s) or caregiver(s) are invited to Phillips Recreation Center for Babies' Lap Time Tue from 10-10:30am, presented by The Urbana Free Library Children’s Department. This program of songs, stories and rhymes is for our youngest patrons, ages 6 to 24 months with an adult. No registration is required.

For more information, call 367-4069.

O Baby! – Lap-bouncing, nursery rhymes and music activities for infants with a caregiver. Champaign Public Library, main library. Mon 9:30-9:50am or 10:30-10:50am. No registration required. For more information, call 403-2030.

Tuesday Twos – Stories, songs and movement activities for 2-year-olds with a parent or grandparent.

Tue 9:30-9:50am or 10:30-10:50am. Champaign Public Library, main library. No registration required.

FILM

KnowZone – Homework help for school-aged children. Tue 4-5pm. Douglass Branch Library. No registration required.

The Year of Living Dangerously – Foreign correspondent Guy Hamilton (Mel Gibson) arrives in Jakarta in 1965 and finds himself covering the bloody Sukarno coup. His relationships with the local press corps, photographer and emerging activist Billy Kwan (Linda Hunt) and a British diplomat (Sigourney Weaver), lead to violent confrontations and hazy moral decisions amid the political turmoil of Indonesia. Krannert Art Museum, rm 62.

Feb 25, 5:30pm. Free and open to the public. For more information, contact IPRH at 244-3344 or www.iprh.uiuc.edu.

Ten Star All-Star Basketball Camp – Applications are now being evaluated for the camp. Boys and girls ages 10-19 are eligible. Players from 50 states and 11 countries attended the 2003 Camp. College basketball scholarships are possible for players selected to the All-American team. Camp locations include: Hickory, NC; Thousand Oaks, CA; Sterling, CO; Babson Park, FL; Atlanta, GA; Champaign, IL; Greencastle, IN; Atchison, KS; Baltimore, MD; Ysilanti, MI; Hamilton, NY; Bluffton, OH; Lock Haven, PA; Lebanon, TN; Commerce, TX; Blacksburg, VA; Poultney, VT; Olympia, WA and Beloit, WI. For a free brochure, call (704) 373-0873. Available 24 hours.

Telluride MountainFilm Tour – If you enjoy highcaliber films filled with the adrenaline-pumping excitement of outdoor extreme sports, intimate looks at real-life adventurers and experiencing films that will open your eyes, shock you and fill you with wonder, you are in luck. A selection of these award-winning films from Telluride, CO, will be showing at Savoy 16 Theatre. Mar 15, 7pm, $10.

Ticket proceeds are donated to the Campership Program, BSA. To buy tickets, go to Champaign Surplus or www.champaignsurplus.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS "Constitutionalism and Democracy in Afghanistan" – A Friday Forum with guest speaker Tom Ginsburg, a UIUC College of Law professor.

Lunch is available for $5.50. Latzer Hall. Fri, 12pm.

Brown v. Board Commemoration Speaker – James Anderson, author of The Education of Blacks in the South, 1860-1935 will be speaking. Lunch is available from the Thai Eatery. University YMCA. Thur, 12pm.

18th Annual Black Women's Achievement Dinner – The Black Women's Achievement Dinner celebrates the unique achievements of six women from the Champaign-Urbana African American community. The celebration will consist of a cultural marketplace, dinner, guest speaker Dr. Ollie Watts-Davis, with music provided by Chambana.

Hawthorne Suites in Champaign. Feb 20, 6-9pm.

Advance-only tickets: $35. For more information, call 344-0721.

15th Annual Clements Comedy Café – This show is a favorite of the Champaign area and stars comedian Tony Clements along with some very special guests. A portion of the proceeds is contributed to the Crisis Nursery of Champaign. Virginia Theatre.

Feb 21, 7:30pm. Tickets: $30, $25. For more information, call 356-9063.

18th Annual Daddy Daughter Dance – Dads and daughters, dance til dawn at the 18th Annual Daddy Daughter Dance. Refreshments, raffle prizes, and dancing are sure to please dads and daughters of all ages. Leonhard Recreation Center.

Feb 21, 6-8pm. Tickets: $20 per couple, $10 each additional. Tickets must be purchased by Feb 20.

For more information, call 398-2550.

“Pastoralized Identities, Global Nationalisms: Emerging Issues in Trans/National Social Movements” – a talk co-sponsored with Women and Gender in Global Perspectives, given by Kumi Silva, visiting instructor in the Department of English, UIUC. International Studies Building, rm 101. Mon, 12pm.

Center for Nanoscale Science and Technology Seminar Series – "The Ultimate Transistor: Is it the Silicon MOSFET?" Dr. Mark S. Lundstrom, Don and Carol Scifres, Distinguished Professor of Electrical & Computer Engineering, Birck Nanotechnology Center, Purdue University. Seminar will take place at the Coordinated Science Laboratory. Wed, 4pm.

★★★

Academic Challenge – Parkland College will host the regional competition for Academic Challenge.

Teams from eight area high schools will be tested in math, English, chemistry, physics, biology, engineering graphics and computer science. Parkland College gym. Fri, 9am-2pm.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Auditions – Sign up sheets will be available near 1201 Music Building on the days of the audition.

Thursday is the last night of auditions. Walk-ins are also availiable. Please bring a prepared vocal piece.

CD Player will be provided. 1201 Music Building.

Thur, 6-8pm.

February Blood Drives – Campus blood drives for this month are as follows: Tue – PAR Saunders Lounge 3-7pm; Wed – Daniels Hall Main Lounge 26pm; Feb 24 – LAR Main Lounge 2-6pm; Feb 25-27 – Illini Union room 314, 10am-4pm.

Kevin Hales' African Adventure – This event will include a presentation by Kevin Hales, Parkland history instructor, on his recent trip to Africa.

Refreshments will be included. Parkland College, rm D244. Mon, time TBA.

KIDS & FAMILY T.A.C.K. – The library’s Thursday Arts and Crafts for Kids program welcomes children to come make a craft. Douglass Branch Library, Conference Room.

Thu 4-5pm.

Baby Time – Come to the library for a half-hour of lap-bouncing, nursery rhymes, music activities and play time for your infants. Douglass Branch Library, meeting room. Thu 10:30-11am.

Family Fun Day Sunday in the Square – Every Sunday through Mar 27, enjoy interactive rides, including Bounce Houses, Screamer Slides and the Kid Wizard. There will also be food, shopping, games, miniature golf and more. Lincoln Square Mall. Sun 1-5pm. For more information, call the Urbana Business Association at 344-3872.

arts

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | KLAATU, BARRADA, NICTO.

bookreview

The Body Artist Don DeLillo

BY ZACH HENSEL | STAFF WRITER

I

n The Body Artist, Don DeLillo works with a level of maturity and sensibility beyond that displayed in his canonical works. Although lacking in the kind of lasting, ironic imagery that characterizes many of his novels, The Body Artist masterfully conveys the hectic, impermanent nature of contemporary life and suggests an urgency to make some sense of it all.

It opens with artists Lauren Hartke and Rey Robles sitting down to breakfast, immediately setting the novel’s tone as one of perceptions: “I want to say something but what.”

She ran water from the tap and seemed to notice. It was the first time she’d ever noticed this.

“About the house. This is what it is,” he said.

“Something I meant to tell you.”

DeLillo defines his characters primarily by what they notice and what they choose to internalize. Glimpses of disjointed dialogue appear, but they rarely culminate in any fashion fit to propel the narrative. What results is a novel of fleeting perceptions more akin to the films Revolution #9 or Ingmar Bergman’s Persona than it is to most novels, let alone the rest of DeLillo’s work. Certainly, he sometimes hints at a kind of meditative mode of art, as in Great Jones Street, but DeLillo has never

achieved anything approaching the purely ephemeral tone of The Body Artist. Although the novel is rather short, and DeLillo does occasionally give in to expository urges, it is still a remarkable achievement.

Characters in The Body Artist are not introduced—they appear and exit without being named or described. This posits the reader as a metaphysical voyeur, trying to glean some perverse pleasure or wisdom solely from

the banal meanderings of characters’ minds. Offended at Rey’s ignorance of her beverage preferences, Lauren asks him how long they have been together. He replies, “Not long. Not long enough for me to notice the details.”

While Rey misses some of Lauren’s features, he still finds enough evidence to tellingly describe her as “the young woman who eats and sleeps and lives forever.”

Lauren does not function so generally, routinely losing herself in monotonous observations while Rey speaks, but she has obviously studied his being in detail. DeLillo investigates this intimate understanding while Rey smokes at breakfast: “It was agreeable to her, the smell of tobacco. It was part of her knowledge of his body … It was who he was in the dark, cigarettes and mumbled sleep and a hundred other things nameable and not.”

The novel is incredible in its ability to communicate life’s unspoken litany. The kinds of observations we make, infinitesimal in every way, are drawn out and described. Conversely, DeLillo breezes past more objectively important events with disregard for narrative structure. He bookends the middle of the novel with two newspaper articles that provide some semblance of plot, but he shows little concern for convention. Mirroring modern reality, events and objects in The Body Artist lack permanence.

Only after Rey’s departure from the story do we find out anything concrete about his life or art. When DeLillo does unveil Rey’s uncertain history as a self-made millionaire

playreview

York skyline and lighting that’s able to take the audience indoors and outdoors without constantly moving props.

Sylvia was perfectly cast and the acting was well done, especially considering that rehearsals only started the second week of January. The adorable MacLeod ★★★ A.R. Gurney makes the perfect Sylvia, walking around barefoot after the show, her hair in pigtails. She does say, though, that

BY ERIN DEYOUNG | STAFF WRITER “people need to stop petting me when I am not on an’s best friend, or woman’s worse nightmare? That is stage.” McCain does a great portrayal of a man who is the question in Parkland Theatre’s presentation of fed up with his job and finds freedom in Sylvia, while Littleton plays the career-driven wife who is fed up with Sylvia, directed by Betsy Peterson.

Set in modern-day Manhattan, the play opens on Greg having dog hair all over the nice furniture. Also, having (Jason McCain) and Kate (Jody Littleton), a happily mar- only one actor, Aaron Clark, play multiple characters of ried couple. Happy, that is, until Greg meets someone multiple genders adds to the overall humor of the story, special at the park. But this is no ordinary love triangle. especially when a chase ensues between Clark’s female A husband, a wife and a bitch? In a more literal sense character, Phyllis and Sylvia.

Though the storyline may attract than one may imagine. people of all ages, some of the One day, Greg, who is always naughty language and canine sexufighting with his boss, goes for a ality makes this a hysterical comedy walk in the park. There he meets for almost all theatre-goers. This the stray canine home-wrecker writer highly recommends that all Sylvia (Annamarie MacLeod). Greg Annamarie MacLeod comedy lovers see Sylvia. One word decides to bring Sylvia home with of warning to those who enjoy the him, to the distress of his wife. front row experience: There may be The story unravels with the chaos that Sylvia brings to the couple, the jealousy a wife can have a cat loose in the theater, and Sylvia hates those furballs. of the love between a man and his dog, and the conclusion Remaining show dates are Feb. 12-14 at 8 p.m. and Feb. 15 at of Greg having to choose between Kate and Sylvia.

Overall, the storyline is amusing and the dialogue is hys- 3 p.m. in the Parkland College Theatre. Tickets will be half terical. The set is amazing with a projection of the New price Feb. 12.

Sylvia

Poetry Slam – This event features a presentation of familiar and original works by Parkland students.

Parkland College Flag Lounge. Feb 25, 1-2pm.

“Maroonapalooza” – The Central High School Band Boosters are organizing a fund-raising event that will showcase student bands. So far, you will be able to hear 10 student bands at the event, which takes place Feb 22, 12-6pm.

buzz

Beautiful and Together Sisters presents: Ebony Heat – the 22nd Annual Fashion Show will be held in Lincoln Theater this year. The doors open up at 5:30pm and the show starts at 6pm. Tickets are free but you must have a ticket to get in the show.

The last day to pick up a ticket is this Thursday at either booth located on the Quad.

SPOKEN WORD

FUND-RAISING

buzz

What to look for . . .

1. Person is unconscious or semi-conscious and cannot be awakened.

2. Cold, clammy, pale or bluish skin.

3. Slow or irregular breathing: less than eight times per minute or ten seconds or more between breaths.

4. Vomiting while “sleeping” or passed out, and not waking up after vomiting.

What to do . . .

1. Call 911 for emergency assistance. If living in a residence hall, contact a staff member.

2. Take action – how can your friend be angry about you caring for him or her? Better safe than sorry.

3. Do not leave the person alone. Turn them on their side to prevent choking in case of vomiting.

If a person has any of these symptoms, he or she likely is suffering from acute alcohol poisoning.

If you have questions, please call the ALCOHOL & OTHER DRUG OFFICE AT 333-7557.

M

[

“People need to stop petting me when I am not on stage.”

[

PHOTO COURTESY OF PARKLAND COLLEGE

021204buzz0718

7

movie director, it does little to change what comes before or after this revelation. His impact on Lauren does not come from his position in society, but rather from the collision and composition of her infinite impressions of him. The importance of Rey’s absence arises from DeLillo’s revelation of his life’s ambiguity. It becomes clear that Lauren struggles with doubt of Rey’s persona, and the remainder of the novel catalogues her effort to reconcile her countless impressions with Rey’s reality through her art.

As Lauren attempts to cull together a coherent impression of her husband, she combines impressions of a webcam image of a Finnish road, a surreal, unintelligible intruder into her home and various phone calls and fleeting images to define Rey’s life and her love for him. DeLillo flawlessly compiles a sweeping mosaic of her artistic effort—a texturally rich dream play that never becomes cumbersome and ought to be required reading for anyone interested in the mechanisms of perception.

BOOK REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unreadable

021204buzz0817

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arts

HOPE IT’S NOT TOO BIG. | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

buzz

ARTIST’S CORNER

50% OFF ALL CLOTHING!

BY ERIN DEYOUNG | STAFF WRITER

J

essica Mullen is a third-year graphic design major at the University of Illinois. She also works as a student graphic designer at the UIUC Counseling Center. When she graduates, she has high hopes of escaping Central Illinois and moving to Scandinavia, or even better, to outer space, but says she will most likely end up in Chicago. As for her professional life, Mullen plans to obtain a career in design, web or illustration work for something she “believe(s) in and support(s)—a nonprofit organization, a school or a publication.� Though this career choice is quite honorable in nature, Mullen also has quite a sense of humor and says, “I would be quite content sitting in a dark room playing with Photoshop and never checking my mail or leaving my apartment again.� If you like her featured piece, check out her Web site (www.jessicamullen.com) for more of her work.

How would you describe graphic design to those who don’t know what it is?

Graphic design is communicating information in a succinct, creative manner with a goal of evoking thought and emotion.

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ART EXHIBITS – ON VIEW NOW “Distant Voices Nearer: A Celebration of American Indian Art� – Featuring paintings by DeHaven Solimon Chaffins, jewelry by Ben Yellowhorse, ceramic sculptures by Lynn Hone, ceramics by Laguna Potter and Michael Kanteena, pottery from Acoma and Mata Ortiz. On display at Verde Gallery through Mar 20. Opening reception for Chaffins and Yellowhouse Thur at 7pm. 17 E Taylor St in Champaign. Cafe: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm.

Gallery: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204. “Transitionsâ€? – Work from Nicole Cisne on display at Aroma CafĂŠ through Mar 21. Artist statement: “The vehicle for my artwork is the female nude.

The images created of the female nude have changed drastically through time. Looking back in art history you see women who by today’s standards would be considered ‘fat.’ Society and the fashion industry of today are the primary causes of an epidemic of eating disorders and false body images in many young women... Hopefully the viewer will see that the female figure is beautiful, no matter what size.� 118 N Neil in Champaign.

Open 7 days a week, 7am-Midnight. For more information, contact Amanda Bickle at 356-3200 or art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Jessica (above) spends her spare time with her cat. Illustrations for Edgar Allan Poe’s poem, “Eldorado� (below, left).

When did you become interested in graphic design?

I realized I just couldn’t pass (Calculus) 2 and dropped out of computer science after freshman year.

Good thing I picked graphic design, because it was like finding true love.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

I have craft time with friends, raise my kitties and snake, party like it’s 1999 and read in the bathtub.

Retro & Recycled Clothing for Men and Women

9 Taylor Downtown Champaign 355-WEED Mon-Sat 11-6 Sunday 1-5

calendar

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

“Picturing Performance: Japanese Theater Prints of the Utagawa School, 1790–1868� – The focus of artistic production in 18th and 19th century Japan (Edo period) was the world of entertainment. This exhibit captures a views of this world of illusion and fantasy (Ukiyo) through richly-colored and compositionally provocative woodblock prints know as Ukiyo-e. The prints in this exhibition give visitors a glimpse of Japanese art, dress and culture that flourished over 150 years ago. The exhibition is on view through Mar 21. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3. 333-1860.

“Bon Coiffure: Hair Signs from West Africa� – This exhibition offers viewers a glimpse into three different art forms: the art of African hair styling, African hair sign painting and African hairstyles in traditional masks and sculpture. In sub-Saharan Africa, la coiffure, i.e.“hairdressing,� is an art and a vocation. African hair designs, both aesthetic and symbolic, proclaim many things such as ethnic origin, gender, religious or political affiliation, social status, or even the profession of the wearer.

Hairdressers also hire artists to hand paint signs to advertise their skills and represent their repertoire of coiffures. Bon Coiffure is on view through Mar 21. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3. 333-1860. “Beyond East and West: Seven Transnational Artists� – Throughout history, various cultures have been lumped together into the broad categories “East� and “West� in order to distinguish an “us� from a “them,� according to art historian David O’Brien. The Krannert Museum has put together a traveling exhibition bringing together the work of seven major contemporary artists who share a connection to both worlds. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3. 333-1860.

Creation Art Studios – Artwork by instructors Jeannine Bestoso, Amy Richardson, and Shoshanna Bauer, and the studio’s friends and family. 1102 E Washington St in Urbana. Hours: Mon-Fri 35:30pm, Sat 1-4pm and other scheduled studio times. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955. “Whistler and Japonisme: Selections from the Permanent Collection� – Marking the 100th anniversary of James McNeill Whistler’s death, this exhibition highlights his works on paper and examines the influence that Japanese woodcuts had on his artistic technique. On display at Krannert Art Museum through Mar 28. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3.

333-1860.

" Ê- - /°]Ê °Ê£{ JÊ£äÊ ° °t

Generally, how would you describe your work?

I like to use icky bits and body parts and related things for illustration work. I suppose my style is generally very dirty and dark. Everything I’ve been doing lately is very influenced by illustrator Dave McKean and my typography professor Jennifer Gunji. I hate this and hope to cultivate my own style eventually.

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Why did you choose the piece that is being featured?

I created this piece for an image-making class. We were to graphically depict Edgar Allan Poe’s poem “Eldorado� in four panels. I’m really pleased with the way I interpreted the mood of the poem using completely unrelated imagery. This piece was sort of the beginning of my design “growth spurt� last semester, when I got really serious about my classes and design in general.

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Introducing...

Midnight Movie SERIE S SERIE S

brought to you by

Boardman’s Art Theatre & buzz Boardman’s Art Theatre and buzz will be hosting special midnight screenings several times a month.

This Valentine’s Day weekend, whether on a date or just going solo, check out:

This musical tribute was filmed on November 29, 2002 to honor the one year anniversary of George Harrison’s death.

Includes performances

by Eric Clapton, Paul McCartney, Tom Petty and other famous artists.

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PHOTOS | CHRISTINE LITAS

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Feb. 13th & 14th at Boardman’s Art Theatre 126 W. Church St., Champaign 1-800-BEST-PLACE or 355-0068

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calendar

CHICAGOSHOWS FEBRUARY 2/12 Josh Groban @ Rosemont Theatre 2/13 Cyndi Lauper @ Cadillac Palace 2/13 Kate & Anna McGarrigle @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/13 Mindy Smith @ Schubas 2/13 Deke Dickerson @ Fitzgerald’s 2/14 Azita, Mark Shippy @ Viaduct Theater 2/14 Rick Braun @ Chicago Theatre 2/14 Pam Tillis & Juice Newton @ the Hemmens 2/14 Him @ Empty Bottle 2/14 Numbers @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 2/14 John Ondrasik @ Schubas 2/14 Colin Hay @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/15 B2K @ Chicago Theatre 2/16 Paco de Lucia @ Symphony Center 2/18 Cecilia Bartoli @ Symphony Center 2/18 Sarah Brightman @ Allstate Arena 2/19 Enrique Iglesias @ Arie Crown Theatre 2/19 DJ Spooky @ Empty Bottle 2/19 Howie Day @ Congress Theater 2/20 Big Sandy & His Fly Rite Boys @ FitzGerald’s 2/20 Habib Koite @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/20 Delbert McClinton @ House of Blues 2/20 Brooks & Dunn @ NIU Convocation Center 2/20 From Autumn to Ashes @ Metro 2/21 Big Head Todd & The Monsters @ Riviera, 18+ 2/21 Bright Eyes, Jim James, M. Ward @ Vic 2/21 Escape from Earth @ Metro 2/21 Jake Fairley @ Empty Bottle 2/21 Fenians @ Abbey Pub 2/21 Robben Ford @ Martyrs’ 2/21 Carrie Newcomer @ Schubas 2/21 David Wilcox @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/21 Sergio Mendes @ the Hemmens 2/22 Jake Fairley @ Empty Bottle 2/22 Dead to Fall @ Metro 2/24 Deep Purple @ Chicago Theatre 2/25 Mary Timony @ Schubas 2/26 Alaska @ Bottom Lounge, 18+ 2/26 Afrodisiacs @ House of Blues, 18+ 2/26 Bobby Conn & The Glass Gypsies @ Empty Bottle 2/26 Asleep at the Wheel @ Fitzgerald’s 2/26-27 Gossip @ Bottom Lounge, 2/26 all ages 2/27 Junior Brown @ Subterranean 2/27 Boris Grebenshikov & Aquarium @ Martyrs 2/27 John Hammond, Jr. @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/27 Sting @ Rosemont Theatre 2/27 Peter Case @ Schubas 2/27 Exo @ Congress Theater, 18+ 2/28 Erykah Badu @ Auditorium Theatre 2/28 Flying Luttenbachers @ Fireside Bowl 2/28 Further Seems Forever @ Metro 2/29 Academy @ Metro 2/29 Cannibal Corpse @ House of Blues 2/29 Elefant @ Double Door 2/29 Carbon Leaf @ Schubas 2/29 Ellis Marsalis Trio @ Old Town School of Folk Music

MARCH 3/1 Elvis Costello & Stevie Nieve @ Oriental Theatre 3/2 Yeah Yeah Yeahs @ Metro 3/3 Red Stick Ramblers @ FitzGerald’s 3/4 Jazzanova @ Smart Bar 3/4 Kraig Jarret Johnson & The Program @ Schubas 3/4-5 Neil Young & Crazy Horse @ Rosemont Theatre 3/5 Clarence Clemons & The Temple of Soul @ Joe’s 3/5 Faun Fables @ Schubas 3/5 British Sea Power @ Empty Bottle 3/5 Richard Buckner @ Schubas 3/5 Chieftans @ Symphony Center 3/5 Bob Dylan @ Aragon Ballroom 3/5 Forty Piece Choir @ Metro, 18+ 3/5 Galactic @ Vic, 18+ 3/5 Luomo @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 3/5 Edwin McCain @ House of Blues, 18+ 3/6 Liftpoint @ Metro 3/6 Crossing @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/7 Get Up Kids @ Metro 3/7 Rhonda Vincent @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/10 Tara Jane O’Neil @ Gunther Murphy’s 3/11 Keb’ Mo’ @ House of Blues, 18+ 3/11 Walkmen @ Metro, 18+ 3/12 DJ SS, Grooverider, Shy FX, Twisted Individual @ Metro, 18+ 3/12 Church @ House of Blues 3/12 Antigone Rising @ Schubas 3/12 Futureman & The Isiah Williams Project @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/12 Kid Rock @ Allstate Arena 3/12 Michael Mayer, Superpitcher @ Smart Bar

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

3/12 Liz Phair @ Vic 3/12 Von Bondies @ Double Door 3/13 Paul Kelly @ Double Door 3/13 Sage Francis, Joe Beats, Grand Buffet @ Logan Square Auditorium 3/13 Mavericks @ Park West 3/13 Grant Lee Phillips @ Abbey Pub 3/13 Saw Doctors @ Vic 3/13 Shipping News @ Subterranean 3/14 Liz Phair @ Vic 3/15 Cooper Temple Clause @ Double Door 3/17 Jerry Joseph & The Jackmormons @ Schubas 3/17 Bogdan Raczynski @ Empty Bottle 3/18-19 Melissa Etheridge @ House of Blues 3/19 Johnny Dowd @ Subterranean 3/19 Dream Theater @ Riviera 3/19 Britney Spears, Kelis @ Allstate Arena 3/19 Starlight Mints @ Abbey Pub 3/20 Jewel @ Star Plaza 3/20 Liars, Young People @ Logan Square Auditorium 3/20 Macabre @ Oasis 160 3/21 Amon Tobin, Kid Koala @ Metro, 18+ 3/22 Clay Aiken, Kelly Clarkson @ United Center 3/23 Ted Leo/Pharmacists @ Logan Square Auditorium 3/23 Three Days Grace @ Metro 3/24 12 Stones, Skillet, Pillar, Grits, Big Dismal @ House of Blues 3/26 Newsboys, Rebecca St. James @ UIC Pavilion 3/26 American Music Club @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/26 Dolly Varden @ Subterranean 3/26 Al Green @ House of Blues 3/26 Great Big Sea @ Metro, 18+ 3/26 Franz Ferdinand @ Empty Bottle 3/26 Proclaimers @ Abbey Pub 3/26 Slip @ Double Door 3/26 Southern Culture on the Skids @ FitzGerald’s 3/26 TV On the Radio @ Empty Bottle 3/27 Campbell Brothers, Calvin Cooke @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/28 Doc Watson @ Old Town School of Folk Music

Join Artists and Workshops at Gallery Virtu – The artist-owned cooperative Gallery Virtu invites applications from area artists. The gallery offers workshops for adults, teens and children in knitting, embroidery, photography, jewelry making, printmaking, papermaking, bookbinding and ribbon flowers. The gallery also offers original works by the members including jewelry, pottery, collages, sculptures, journals, hats, handbags and other textiles. Gallery Virtu, 220 W Washington in Monticello. Thu 12-4pm, Fri 12-8pm, Sat 10am6pm. For more information, call 762-7790, visit www.galleryvirtu.org or e-mail workshops@galleryvirtu.org.

CHICAGOVENUES

Creation Art Studios – Featuring original art by students and members of the studio. 1102 E Washington St in Urbana. Mon-Fri 3-5:30pm, Sat 14pm and other scheduled studio times. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955.

Abbey Pub 3420 W Grace, Chicago, (773) 478-4408 Allstate Arena 6920 N Mannheim Rd, Rosemont, (847) 6356601 Aragon 1106 W Lawrence, Chicago, (773) 561-9500 Arie Crown Theater 2301 S Lake Shore Dr, Chicago, (312) 7916190 Bottom Lounge 3206 N Wilton, Chicago, (773) 975-0505 Chicago Theatre 175 N State St, Chicago, (312) 443-1130 Congress Theatre 2135 N Milwaukee, Chicago, (312) 923-2000 Double Door 1572 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago, (773) 489-3160 Elbo Room 2871 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 549-5549 Empty Bottle 1035 N Western Ave, Chicago, (773) 276-3600 Fireside Bowl 2648 W Fullerton Ave, Chicago, (773) 486-2700 House of Blues 329 N Dearborn, Chicago, (312) 923-2000 Martyrs' 3855 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 404-9494 Metro/Smart Bar 3730 N Clark St, Chicago, (773) 549-0203 Old Town School of Folk Music 4544 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 728-6000 Park West 322 W Armitage, Chicago, (773) 929-5959 Riviera Theatre 4746 N Racine, Chicago, (773) 275-6800 Rosemont Theatre 5400 N River Rd, Rosemont, (847) 671-5100 Schubas 3159 N Southport, Chicago, (773) 525-2508 UIC Pavilion 525 S Racine, Chicago, (312) 413-5700 Vic Theatre 3145 N Sheffield, Chicago, (773) 472-0449

ART NOTICES Jewelry Making Demonstration – Ben Yellowhorse demonstrates the art of jewelry making. Verde Gallery, 17 E Taylor St in Champaign. Sat, 2pm. For more information, call 366-3204.

Creation Art Studios: Art Classes for Children and Adults – All classes use the spontaneous art process to demonstrate technical instruction and the exploration of materials. Personal interests, ideas, dreams and more are expressed and developed through collage and assemblage art, drawing, painting, sculpture and ceramics. CPDU's offered. Creation Art Studios, 1102 E Washington in Urbana. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955 or go to www.creationartstudios.com.

Collage for the Soul – Learn the many aspects of collage techniques while engaging your creativity and exploring your mind and heart. Scrapbookers, it’s time to branch out from craft to art! Sandra Ahten will teach the class, in which all materials will be provided. High Cross Studio, 1101 N High Cross Rd in Urbana. Feb 17- Mar 16, Tue 7-9pm.

Other drawing and painting classes are also offered. For more information, call 367-6345 or go to www.spiritofsandra.com.

ART EXHIBITS & GALLERIES Boneyard Pottery – Ceramic Art by Michael Schwegmann and others. 403 Water St in Champaign. Tue-Sat 11am-5pm. 355-5610.

Broken Oak Gallery – Local and national artists, original art including photography, watercolors, pottery, oil paintings, colored pencil, and woodturning. Refreshments served by the garden all day Saturday. 1865 N 1225 E Rd in White Heath.

Thu-Sat 10am-4pm. 762-4907.

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Old Vic Art Gallery – Fine and original art, hand signed, limited edition prints, works by local artists, art restoration, custom framing, and periodic shows by local artists. 11 E University in Champaign. Mon-Thu 11am-5:30pm, Sat 11am4:30pm. 355-8338.

Prairie Boatworks Gallery – Beautifully hand-crafted gift items and unique Valentine’s Day cards.

Also, over 35 regional artist to choose from. 407 E Main St in Mahomet. Tue, Fri, Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12-4pm. 586-6776. For more information, contact Mary at 356-8228 or tangoradesigns@aol.com.

BY STEVE KLINE | STAFF WRITER

Steeple Gallery – Vintage botanical and bird prints, antiques and framed limited edition prints. 102 E Lafayette St in Monticello. Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. www.steeplegallery.com. 762-2924.

Warning: Unless handled by the most professional writers, some subjects are impossible to write about without a bit of crassness here and there. Please know that I have made absolutely no attempt to stay professional. By now I hope you expect that. There are spots of opinion scattered in this story; no news story is completely unbiased. So I’m not ashamed to admit my own bias. For example, if you start reading a story containing the words “suicide” and “burlesque” in the headline and write to tell me how offended you feel, then you’re a moron. I don’t like Will & Grace, and instead of writing NBC about how bad it is, I don’t watch it.

Verde Gallery – The work of local artist Sylvia Arnstein will be on display in the halls and café. 17 E Taylor St in Champaign. Cafe: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm. Gallery: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

Ziemer Gallery – Original paintings and limited edition prints by Larry Ziemer. Pottery, weavings, wood turning and glass works by other artists.

Gallery visitors are welcome to sit, relax, listen to the music and just enjoy being surrounded by art.

210 W Washington in Monticello. Tue 10am-8pm, Wed-Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. www.ziemergallery.com. 762-9786.

You might consider their lives in your hands, or a future hell in theirs.

SuicideGirls.com—a punk, post-punk, punk-pop, industrial, post-industrial pop, post-industrial punk, indie, post-pop-preindie, indie-emo, emo, screamo, emo-but-notemo-in-that-DashboardConfessional-sense-butmelodic, I-don’t-really-want-to-defineour-band-in-agenre-but-we’reinfluenced-byThe-Little Rascalsand-Fugazi pinup porn site—is touring the

Café Kopi – “Digital Evolutions,” photographs by John Sfondilias on display through February. 109 N Walnut in Champaign. Mon-Thu 7am-11pm, Fri-Sat 7am-12pm, Sun 11am-8pm. 359-4266.

Country in the City – Antiques, Architectural, Gardening and Home Accessories. Custom designing available. 1104 E Washington St in Urbana. ThuSat 10am-5pm. 367-2367.

Framer's Market – Frame designers since 1981.

Ongoing work from local artists on display. 807 W Springfield Ave in Champaign. Tue-Fri 9:30am5:30pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 351-7020.

Furniture Lounge – Specializing in mid-century modern furniture from the 1920s to the 1980s – retro, Danish modern, lighting, vintage stereo equipment and vinyl records. 9 E University in Champaign. Sun-Tues 12-4:30pm, Wed-Sat 115:30pm. 352-5150.

Glass FX – New and Antique Stained Glass Windows, Lamps and unique glass gifts. Gallery is free and open to the public. Interested in learning the art of Stained Glass? Beginning, intermediate and advanced stained glass classes offered. 202 S First St in Champaign. Mon-Thu 10am-5:30pm, Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 9am-4pm. www.glassfx.com. 3590048.

Griggs Street Potters – Handmade functional and decorative pottery. 305 W Grigg St in Urbana. MonFri 11am-4pm, or call for appointment. 344-8546.

Hill Street Gallery Inc. – Oil and watercolor paintings, hand painted T-shirts, handmade jewelry. 703 W Hill in Champaign. Sat 12-5pm or by appointment during the week. 359-0675.

Larry Kanfer Gallery Recent additions to the Gift Collection for Valentines – Limited and open edition photographs by Larry Kanfer, internationally acclaimed artist. Gallery features artwork from the University of Illinois, Prairiescapes, Cityscapes, European, Northwoods, and Coast to Coast Collections. Personalized gift certificates are available. 2503 S Neil in Champaign. Mon-Sat 10am5:30pm. www.kanfer.com. 398-2000.

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FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | OH, THAT STEVE . . .

LaPayne Photography – Specializes in panoramic photography up to 6 feet long of different subjects including sporting events, city skylines, national parks and University of Illinois scenes. 816 Dennison Dr in Champaign. Mon-Fri 9am-4pm and by appointment. 356-8994.

PHOTOS | COURTESY OF SUICIDEGIRLS.COM

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nation with its own burlesque show.

“Mmm ... it’s early,” Siren, 26, quietly says, “... I had a long night. Could you call me back in an hour?” Siren, a Suicide Girl model, photographer and burlesque manager is another victim of, “Get them to promise an interview before they’re able to form conscious thoughts.” Yay, journalism.

This gives us time to worry about the Suicide Girls. After all, unless it’s followed by “counseling,” having the word “suicide” anywhere on a job description is an obvious cry for help. On a blatancy scale, it’s up there with swallowing 20 Advils in a crowded room.

But fear not. If you notice the warning signs in time and pay attention to the person (or people), you might avert the danger. Not everyone knows you should keep a close eye on someone in need and we can’t take risks here. The girls’ best option is to go on a nationwide tour and dance to punk rock music in the least amount of clothes as is legal. It’s the safest thing to do.

This sounds like a soft-core Silver Bullet-ish show. Don’t think Anna Nicole or Hugh Hefner’s seven interchangeable girlfriends, think the Uma Thurman-ish woman hanging outside the English building you talked to once.

Remember? You pretended to love The Smiths and she called you out after a five-minute quiz on your favorite Smiths’ “LP.” Now you just shyly smile in her direction and quickly pass, making up new and wonderful character traits each time. I’ll bet she plays guitar and doesn’t cling. I’ll bet she talks about real issues, not gossip. She probably loves Old Style and tequila. She probably laughs at bad poetry instead of writing it.

Damn it! The perfect girl is right there and I don’t know how to approach her! If I only studied my Brian Eno trivia more closely. Sigh.

Wait ... what? Oh yeah, imagine that hypothetical girl dancing on stage wearing nothing but duct tape. I’ll give you a few moments.

The Suicide Girls Burlesque Tour has garnered much attention for its do-it-yourself attitude, which included a segment on HBO’s Real Sex. “We start it out like a traditional burlesque show but go into a much more updated punk rock version,” Siren said. Music segues from traditional (“Hey, big spender!”) with accompanied dancing to counter-culture punk (“The term code blue makes me turn red!”) and a stage show. She didn’t give away much, but whipped cream and beer are somehow involved.

“When we first performed, we tried different

things. Now, we have a solid show with what works.” It’s not just a sexy show for guys, she said; there are plenty of women in the audience, too. More than half of SuicideGirls.com subscribers are women, according to Siren and a nifty fact sheet on the Web site.

“It’s not just a Web site for guys: Web boards, profiles and online journals make it a real community,” Siren said. Friendster with nipples?

“We look for people with strong identities and independence to model, not some cookie-cutter stereotypes.” Photo themes, costumes and amount of clothing are up to the model. Siren called the photos pinup pictures, not porn.

“Pinup is not hardcore—it’s more cutesy ... sexy.

It’s not just out there to get people off,” Siren said.

Think Marilyn Monroe in Playboy, not bodily fluids and wakka-chikka-wakka background music.

These are pretty much the naked girls next door. Instead of the typical big-bosomed— she’s ready to blow!—clone in an obviously cold studio, there are no airbrushes and the models are proportionate.

Truthfully, this frightens me a bit. Of course, it’s wonderfully healthy for a society to challenge literally impossible body types. I’m completely for this type of revolution sociologically, but not psychologically.

If cute girls with normal bodies suddenly realize they’re cute, then they’ll start to go after chiseled guys. There will never be a site called MasochistMales to challenge THOSE body types—well, there might be, but its audience would consist of middle-aged men with oddlytrimmed moustaches.

SuicideGirls.com helps in that it shows real women. But the breaking-the-mold body types are their own mold. There are some heavy girls, but heavy only to those who think Kate Winslet is heavy.

“We want to make sure they’ve thought about this and won’t regret it,” Siren said.

“We don’t want people to think, ‘I want to be cool, the Suicide Girls are cool. I’ll be a suicide girl to be cool.’ “ But this doesn’t just make me nervous because of a scrawny and selfish streak. When beautiful women with proportionate bodies go after guys who like to lift really heavy stuff as a hobby, women who have been going for the “anorexic with implants” look will follow suit.

Cosmopolitan will feature real people, and other people will chase after this. Imagine middle-aged women getting their chests liposuctioned and getting silicone implants near their stomachs for a cute little Buddha-belly.

When it becomes stylish, there will suddenly

be a “right” way to be imperfect, and Kam’s will overflow with eye studs and Converse shoes.

Waitresses will walk around with Zoloft shots. My God, if the bar is packed with hundreds of people, all of whom have at least 15 piercings, some prankster could throw a heavy duty magnet in the door and cause the largest campus bloodbath in American history!

Then, television will show thousands upon thousands of 19- to 24-year-olds mourning the lost and disfigured souls. Not only will these images sadden the American public, they will cause a horrible, horrible new trend in which everyone starts to go punk, goth, industrial, etc. They’ll think, “Hey, this saddens me. Those younger folks are all so sad and dressed in a sad way. I’ll dress like that to recapture my youth and then I’ll be ‘with it’ again!” The only people who won’t be affected will be the hippies, but that’s because they got their cable shut off.

So what will the punkers wear? Pink.

I hate pink. It’s gonna be hell. buzz The Suicide Girls Live Burlesque Tour will stop at Highdive Feb. 18. The opening acts are Bloom and So Many Dynamos. The show starts at 10 p.m. Tickets are $10.

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WE LOVE DEVO BEYOND “WHIP IT” | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

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I believe in a thing called Capri-Sun

MondayFeb16

Love currently trailing fruit punch flavor by 13 percent in recent polls

Jazz Jam: ParaDocs – The Iron Post, 7:30pm, TBA Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. and Mike Ingram – Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $2

MENDOZA MUSIC LINE

BY SETH FEIN | STAFF WRITER

A

ccording to our “beloved” 107.1 The Planet, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness is your favorite song. Look, I understand. It has all the elements of a hit: easy chord progression, solid rhythm, good hook, lewd guitar solo. The presumably male voice is intriguing. Either he is a graduate of the Winger school of music, or he is struggling after a botched hernia job. Whatever it is, he can just plain hit notes that make Robert Plant hang his head in shame. The song is good, and while I do not rock it at home or spin it when I DJ, I don’t turn it off on the rare chance that I am tuned to the Planet. It’s quality music and I must give props to The Darkness.

But I think what does it for me the most, especially at this time of year, is the theme of the song. It is a simple and sappy premise, with almost zero originality whatsoever, and it states something everyone in the world has had to believe at some point in their lives.

That, my friends, is courageous by default.

This is a song that very well could have been

left for dead in the saturated world of rock but instead, these British bastards are working on a collaboration with the king of sap, Neil Diamond. The song has made them bona fide rock stars. There is even a “white label” house remix circulating faster than most of the blood in Dubya’s brain.

Now I have never been big on Valentine’s Day. As a young rebellious liberal, my American government teacher at Urbana High School informed me that the holiday was merely a corporate scheme aimed at the American consumer in order to fill the void left by the lull in spending between Christmas and Mother’s Day. And in my hazy potinduced state of mind, I believed her. The requirement to spend money on a specific day to show your significant other you love them is a bit ridiculous. For me, when in love, I try to make every day special in some capacity. I come from the school of thought that says “Here are flowers, for no other reason except that it’s Tuesday, and I love you.”

Valentine’s Day is a sham.

Love, however, is not.

Love. It’s an interesting word, if you think about it. Because I love all kinds of things. I

The Hurly-Burly Sifting through the commotion and crap of music culture Hometown heroes American Minor will play the South by Southwest music festival. The band will be rocking it out at the Hard Rock Cafe in Austin March 18. Good luck, guys.

The Pixies have officially announced dates for their warm-up tour of North America before their appearance at the Coachella festival May 1. They’ll be taking a few dates in the U.S. and all over Canada. Nowhere in the Midwest, though. Damn it. They’ve also announced plans to release a best of compilation and live DVD of concert footage.

Due May 4 through Astralwerks is the new album by The Beta Band. The follow-up to 2001’s Hotshots is titled Heroes and Zeroes and was produced by Nigel Godrich of Radiohead and Beck fame. There are also plans to release a DVD of films for each track of the album.

The Decemberists will be touring North America through April, playing a few dates with the Walkmen as well as Tom Heinl and Clearlake. Their new EP The Tain, based on the Irish epic poem of the same name, is slated for a Feb. 24 release.

U2 will go into the studio next week to record the follow-up to All That You Can’t Leave Behind. The new album will be produced by the famed Steve Lillywhite, who crafted U2’s early sound as the board man on albums like Boy and October, but has not produced a U2 album in its entirety since 1983’s War.

What the hell?

Moment of the week Nu-Metal tools Godsmack are set to release an all-acoustic album entitled The Other Side, not to be confused with the Dylan album. The album is set to include three new cuts and acoustic versions of such unfortunate radio staples as “Serenity” and “Voodoo.” For those of you who missed it the first time, let me reiterate that Godsmack are releasing an acoustic album. A CSNY-style album involving members of Staind, Disturbed, and Slipknot tentatively dubbed The Poop Metal All-Stars has yet to be confirmed.

love God and theology. I love my family and my cats. I love my record player and my vinyl.

I love cigarettes and Jager Bombs. I love my job and my band. I love XTC and Tears For Fears.

I love Seinfeld and Capri-Sun. I really do. I love these things.

So when I start thinking about the terms of love for a woman, it becomes quite confusing.

Sometimes I think it’s easier for me to love Capri-Sun than a woman. I mean, when I think about it, at the moments where I feel the most frustrated, Capri-Sun never argues with me when I want to put my straw into it and take a drink, does it? Plus, it’s a damn tasty beverage.

But naturally, I always come back to the idea that I really do believe in a thing called love.

With a woman, that is. Despite my futile attempts to make another person happy through impulsive, overbearing, hopelessly romantic behavior, I really do believe that love exists and that all human beings, regardless of what gender they choose to partner up with, are worthy of love and marriage.

Frank Zappa once wrote in Act III of “Joe’s Garage” that “information is not knowledge.

Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love.

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Love is not music. MUSIC is the best.”

And I tend to agree with him. Music will always embrace us, rather than throw us away.

Music is always there to keep our stress levels low. Music always says what we want it to say.

But most importantly, music always provides us with hope. And I think that is what The Darkness is trying to get across in their song.

And hope is a great thing. It may be the best thing we have in this world.

I am hopeful for many things this Valentine’s Day. I hope that I can be a better listener, to music and to people. I hope to fall in love with my instrument again (That one’s for you, Erin). I hope that I can learn how to be more patient in the future, with my band and with the woman I love. I hope that, simply stated, I can be a better person.

I also hope that Meijer has another sale on Capri-Sun soon, because God knows I am going to need it. buzz Seth Fein is from Urbana. He is a member of Orphans of Absinthe Blind and has recently come to the conclusion that the key to a good life is simply a matter of laughing at your own mistakes. He can be reached at sethfein@readbuzz.com

1. Devo - Hell yes, my friends! Kneel before the awe-inspiring greatness that is Devo.

Average comment about Devo goes as follows: “Oh yeah, the dudes who did ‘Whip It.’ They wore funny hats.” They deserve more credit. Devo was art-punk before art-punk was art-punk, and always much funnier and more rooted in pop than their dour British counterparts. They did it all: robot blues, synth dirge, computer pop, all while rockin’ like the Dickens. Neil Young liked ‘em. All hail Devo.

2. Giant Sand - For the better part of two decades, this outfit has been churning out some of the best indie rock albums ever and getting squat for press.They began as a whirlwind of loud, angular Crazy Horse rock and eventually evolved into the Arizona noir/country/folk of their later albums.The rhythm section double-times it as the acclaimed instrmental outfit Calexico. Still, they’re never the same without the dazzling, witty prose and off-the-cuff genius of Giant Sand shaman and mastermind, Howe Gelb.

3. Silver Jews - Mostly, these fellows are known as also-rans in the saga of Pavement. David Berman formed this noisy, pseudo-country band with Stephen Malkmus when they were both guards at an art museum. Gradually though, the band, composed of a mostly revolving cast of musicians, became an outlet for Berman’s brilliant songwriting and battered, off-kilter folk songs, eventually crafting albums that were (gasp!) as good as Pavement albums.They lay claim to a lot of accomplishments including the funniest song about Jesus ever,”Rebel Jew.” 4. The Left Banke - Think ‘60s. Think gorgeous orchestral pop. Beatles, Beach Boys, Love, right? Left Banke? Who the hell are they? Ah, but they should all be in the same thought. On the strength of two albums, the Left Banke patented a gorgeous form of what they dubbed “Baroque and Roll,”which sounds incredibly pretentious, but

LIVE MUSIC

DJ 2ON2OUT – Barfly, 9pm, free UC Hip Hop presents Chill in the Grill – Canopy Club, 10pm, free DJ Betty Rocker – indie rock – Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, free

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Community Drum Circle – Ten Thousand Villages, 7-9pm, free "G" Force Karaoke – Kam's, 10pm-2am “Case of the Mondays” w/ DJ Mertz & DJ Bozak – Nargile, 10pm, free

COMEDY DeBono – improv comedy – Courtyard Cafe, 910pm, free

TuesdayFeb17 LIVE MUSIC Open Jam Mic hosted by Openingbands.com and Mike Pomeroy featuring Pomeroy – Canopy Club, 10pm, $2 Dula Films Benefit: Sick Day, Mike Ingram, Nadafinga – Nargile, 10pm, $5 Adam Wolf and Jess Greenlee – acoustic rock – Tommy G’s, 10pm, free

DJ DJ Resonate – hip hop – Barfly, 9pm, free NOX: DJ’s ZoZo, Kannibal and Rickbats – goth & industrial – Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ Donovan Finn – early indie & garage – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

COMEDY

Underrated Bands

Spicy Clamato – improv comedy – Courtyard Cafe, 9-10pm, free

it worked and beautifully so. Propulsive rock rhythms and fuzzed-out guitar coated in strings, horns, killer harmonies and Michael Brown’s glorious quavering voice.

5. The dB’s - One of a slew of great guitar bands outta Georgia in the ‘80s, these guys were the first and possibly the best.

In 1981 the brainy, Big Star-inspired rock of power pop stalwarts Chris Stamey and Peter Holsapple should have been what everyone was groovin’on but due to everpresent label troubles and the lack of the indie-rock support system which would propel later bands, the dB’s were relegated to the dustbins of history. Still,“Black and White” ranks as one of the best power-pop songs ever, so a revival might be around the corner.

Next week: Top five geeks of rock What’s yours? e-mail us at music@readbuzz.com

CHARTS PARASOL RECORDS’ TOP 10 SELLERS 1. Echo & The Bunnymen - Ocean Rain (Rhino) 2. Various - Lost in Translation - Original Soundtrack (Emperor Norton) 3. Camera Obscura - Underachievers Please Try Hard (Merge) 4. The Concretes - The Concretes (Licking Fingers) 5. Moonbabies - The Orange Billboard (Hidden Agenda) 6. M83 - Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts (Gooom Disques) 7. Whirlaway - Pompano (Whirlaway Music) 8. Elbow - Cast of Thousands (V2) 9. The Mountain Goats - We Shall All Be Healed (4AD) 10. The Walkmen - Bows and Arrows (Record Collection)

calendar

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

DANCING Latin Dance Night – McKinley Foundation, Westminster Hall, 9:45pm, $1

WednesdayFeb18 LIVE MUSIC Cerulean City – The Iron Post, 9:30pm, TBA Openingbands.com Showcase: At Knifepoint, Redwalls, Rollercoaster Club – Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Kilborn Alley – blues – Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover Adam Wolf and Jess Greenlee – acoustic rock – JuJu’s in Bloomington, 9pm, free X-Krush – Joe’s Brewery, TBA The Suicide Girls Live Burlesque Tour w/ live bands Bloom and So Many Dynamos – Highdive, 10pm, $10

DJ Chef Ra – roots/rock/reggae – Barfly, 9pm, free d-LO and Spinnerty – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $1 DJ Boardwalk – Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $1 Dream Sequence – Caffe Paradiso, 10pm-12am, free “La Femme Confident” w/ DJ Aquanet & Queen Betsy – Nargile, 10pm, free

MUSIC PERFORMANCE UI Wind Symphony and UI Symphonic Band I – The top ensembles of the School of Music Band Division premiere Stephen Taylor's The Surface of Last Scattering. Also on the program is the Concerto for Bassoon by Jacob. Foellinger Great Hall, 7:30pm. Tickets: $5, sc $4, stu $2. For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

"G" Force Karaoke – Elmers Club 45, 7-11pm

SPOKEN WORD Dana Roeser – The Teller's Art featured poet – Roeser is the author of Beautiful Motion, forthcoming from Northeastern University Press in 2004 as the winner of the Samuel French Morse Prize. Her poems have appeared, or will soon appear in Another Chicago Magazine, Indiana Review, The Iowa Review, and others. Verde Gallery and Verdant Coffee & News, 8pm, free.

ON STAGE Twelfth Night – This Shakespeare comedy explores love in almost all of its guises, from crushes and love-sick infatuations to deep commitment and gender-bending erotic heat. This production takes a modern look at a comic classic, drawing on contemporary pop culture and music to portray characters crazy in love and crazy in grief. Studio Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex tickets: $12, sc & stu $11, UI & yth $6. Single tickets: $13, sc & stu $12, UI & yth $7.

For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

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Sweeney Todd

C-UVENUES Assembly Hall First & Florida, Champaign, 333-5000 American Legion Post 24 705 W Bloomington Rd, Champaign, 356-5144 American Legion Post 71 107 N Broadway, Urbana, 367-3121 Barfly 120 N Neil, Champaign,352-9756 Barnes and Noble 51 E Marketview, Champaign, 355-2045 Boltini Lounge 211 N Neil, Champaign, 378-8001 Borders Books & Music 802 W Town Ctr, Champaign, 3519011 The Brass Rail 15 E University, Champaign, 352-7512 Canopy Club (Garden Grill) 708 S Goodwin, Urbana, 367-3140 Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana C.O. Daniels 608 E Daniel, Champaign, 337-7411 Cosmopolitan Club 307 E John, Champaign, 367-3079 Courtyard Cafe Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana, 333-4666 Cowboy Monkey 6 Taylor St, Champaign, 398-2688 Clybourne 706 S Sixth, Champaign, 383-1008 Curtis Orchard 3902 S Duncan Rd, Champaign, 359-5565 D.R. Diggers 604 S Country Fair Dr, Champaign, 356-0888 Elmer’s Club 45 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana, 344-3101 Embassy Tavern & Grill 114 S Race, Urbana, 384-9526 Esquire Lounge 106 N Walnut, Champaign, 398-5858 Fallon’s Ice House 703 N Prospect, Champaign, 398-5760 Fat City Saloon 505 S Chestnut, Champaign, 356-7100 The Great Impasta 114 W Church, Champaign, 359-7377 G.T.’s Western Bowl Francis Dr, Champaign, 359-1678 The Highdive 51 Main, Champaign, 359-4444 Huber’s 1312 W Church, Champaign, 352-0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation 610 E Springfield, Champaign, 352-8721 Independent Media Center 218 W Main St, Urbana, 344-8820 The Iron Post 120 S Race, Urbana, 337-7678 Joe’s Brewery 706 S Fifth, Champaign, 384-1790 Kam’s 618 E Daniel, Champaign, 328-1605 Krannert Art Museum 500 E Peabody, Champaign, 333-1861 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 500 S Goodwin, Urbana,Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 W Nevada, Urbana, 333-4950 Lava 1906 W Bradley, Champaign, 352-8714 Legends Bar & Grill 522 E Green, Champaign, 355-7674 Les’s Lounge 403 N Coler, Urbana, 328-4000 Lincoln Castle 209 S Broadway, Urbana, 344-7720 Lowe’s Big Barrel & Summer Club 14 N Hazel, Danville, 4428090 Malibu Bay Lounge North Route 45, Urbana, 328-7415 Mike n’ Molly’s 105 N Market, Champaign, 355-1236 Mulligan’s 604 N Cunningham, Urbana, 367-5888 Murphy’s 604 E Green, Champaign, 352-7275 Nargile 207 W Clark St, Champaign Neil Street Pub 1505 N Neil, Champaign, 359-1601 Boardman’s Art Theater 126 W Church, Champaign, 3510068 The Office 214 W Main, Urbana, 344-7608 Parkland College 2400 W Bradley, Champaign, 351-2528 Phoenix 215 S Neil, Champaign, 355-7866 Pia’s of Rantoul Route 136 E, Rantoul, 893-8244 Pink House Routes 49 & 150, Ogden, 582-9997 The Rainbow Coffeehouse 1203 W Green, Urbana, 766-9500 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana, 344-1176 Rose Bowl Tavern 106 N Race, Urbana, 367-7031 Springer Cultural Center 301 N Randolph, Champaign, 3551406 Spurlock Museum 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 The Station Theatre 223 N Broadway, Urbana, 384-4000 Strawberry Fields Cafe 306 W Springfield, Urbana, 328-1655 Sweet Betsy's 805 S Philo Rd, Urbana Ten Thousand Villages 105 N Walnut, Champaign, 352-8938 TK Wendl’s 1901 S Highcross Rd, Urbana, 255-5328 Tommy G’s 123 S Mattis Ave, Country Fair Shopping Center, 359-2177 Tonic 619 S Wright, Champaign, 356-6768 Two Main 2 Main, Champaign, 359-3148 University YMCA 1001 S Wright, Champaign, 344-0721 Verde/Verdant 17 E Taylor St, Champaign, 366-3204 Virginia Theatre 203 W Park Ave, Champaign, 356-9053 White Horse Inn 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign, 352-5945 Zorba’s 627 E Green, Champaign

School of Music Opera Series

The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

A Musical Thriller

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim Book by Hugh Wheeler From an adaptation by Christopher Bond

Feb 20-29 Eduardo Diazmuñoz, conductor Stephen Fiol, director Sara Lampert Hoover, associate director

Mysteryand comedy, loveand hate, beautiful melody and piercing dissonance unite in this compelling story of passions, a Stephen Sondheim

Tony Award-winning musical.

KrannertCenter.com 217/333-6280

Supported in part by the Frances P. Rohlen Visiting Artists Fund/College of Fine and Applied Arts and IOTE, Illinois Opera Theatre Enthusiasts

2/11/04

5:39 PM

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WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

ThursdayFeb12

FridayFeb13

LIVE MUSIC

LIVE MUSIC

Big Band Jazz – The Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Acoustic Music Series: Eleni Moraites – Aroma, 8pm, free Bruiser and the Virtues – Zorba’s, 9:30pm, $3 Illinois Student Environmental Network Benefit: Sick Day, Mike Ingram, Kate Hathaway, Green Mountain Grass – Canopy Club, 10pm, $4 American Minor, Volcano I'm Still Excited!!, We Ragazzi – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $3 Cameron McGill – Record Service, TBA, free Northstar Lounge hosted by Czar Absolute – hip hop/poetry – Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ J-Phlip – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Delayney – hip hop/reggae/roots – Nargile, 10pm, $5

Darrin Drda – Record Service, 3pm, free Doxy – The Iron Post, 5pm, TBA HIM, Mice Parade, Mileece – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 56 Hope Road – The Iron Post, 10pm, TBA The Idle Hours, The Standard, Monster Honkey – Nargile, 10pm, $5 The Brat Pack – ’80s retro – Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Tom Grassman and Jammin’ Jimmy Bean – acoustic rock – Tommy G’s, 5-7pm, free X-Krush – Hollywood Sports Pub in Robinson, TBA Delta Kings – rock & blues – Elmer’s Club 45, 9pm, TBA Hairbanger’s Ball II – Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Bird Yellowhorse – Navajo musician – Verde, 8pm The Idle Hours, The Standard, Monster Honkey – Nargile, 10pm, $5

MUSIC PERFORMANCE

DJ

DJ

UI Symphony Orchestra – Classic works make up this program, including Beethoven's Leonore Overture No. 2, Mozart's Concerto No. 4 for Horn, and Schubert's Symphony No. 5. Foellinger Great Hall, 7:30pm. Tickets: $5, sc $4, stu $2. For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

"G" Force Karaoke – Pia's in Rantoul, 9pm-1am

DJ Bozak – house/hip hop/downbeat – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams – dance – Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Impact – house – Nargile, 10pm, $5

AROUND TOWN

SPOKEN WORD

Wine Tasting – Sample wines and learn about the different kinds of wine tonight at Krannert Center.

The center and Sun Singer Wine & Gifts, Ltd. host the wine tastings. Each week, two or three wines are introduced for free tasting. You can also buy full glasses of wine for $3.50 per glass. The center’s Interlude Bar will sell the featured wines throughout the week at regular price. Krannert Center lobby, Interlude Bar, 5pm, free.

Speed Dating – Courtyard Cafe, 8-9:30pm, 9:3011pm, $5, stu $3

ON STAGE Twelfth Night – This Shakespeare comedy explores love in almost all of its guises, from crushes and love-sick infatuations to deep commitment and gender-bending erotic heat. This production takes a modern look at a comic classic, drawing on contemporary pop culture and music to portray characters crazy in love and crazy in grief. Studio Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex tickets: $12, sc & stu $11, UI & yth $6. Single tickets: $13, sc & stu $12, UI & yth $7.

For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

The Complete Works of The Prompting Theater (Briefly) – This fund-raising dinner theater performance goes through the entire repertory of the Prompting Theater in one hour. McKinley Church.

Dinner at 6pm, Show at 7pm. Suggested donation for the evening is $10 or $5 for only the show. Call 356-9176 to make dinner reservations. Show-only tickets will be available at the door.

FILM The Bread, My Sweet – A film about culture, family and love. It’s a journey to a place where work is hard, wine is made in the basement, the future is stored dollar by dollar in coffee cans, and people sometimes believe that doing the outrageous thing is better than doing nothing at all. Rated NR. Virginia Art Theatre, 5:15pm, 7:30pm, 9:45pm.

LIVE JAZZ at & er es s i u u Br Virt e $ Th

3

627 E. GREEN 344-0710

THURSDAY AT 9:30 $3.00 COVER

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Karaoke Contest – Courtyard Cafe, 8pm, free Cotton Club 2004: Feat. Lester Barrie and UIUC/Illinois upcoming talent – Assembly Hall, 7pm, advance tickets: $18-$20, stu $15-$17, door tickets: $20, stu $18

ON STAGE Twelfth Night – This Shakespeare comedy explores love in almost all of its guises, from crushes and love-sick infatuations to deep commitment and gender-bending erotic heat. This production takes a modern look at a comic classic, drawing on contemporary pop culture and music to portray characters crazy in love and crazy in grief. Studio Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex tickets: $12, sc & stu $11, UI & yth $6. Single tickets: $13, sc & stu $12, UI & yth $7.

For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

FILM Concert for George – This film is a tribute to the late George Harrison, with various musicians putting their hearts and voices into Harrison’s music.

Director David Leland allows the music to speak for itself, and the result is an intimate, memorable tribute to a remarkable musician. The cameras get close to the performers and allow us to see their intensity and effort. Eric Clapton takes a break from his acoustic guitar for a bit and sounds reborn on countless songs. LeLand also inserts most of his interviews before the songs begin, which allows the songs to be set up properly and creates a powerful effect when the audience listens to each song. Rated PG-13. Boardman’s Art Theatre, 11:59pm. For more information, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

The Triplets of Belleville – This Sundance favorite centers around a lonely boy named Champion and the grandmother who adopts him, Madame Souza. After growing into a master bicyclist, Champion is kidnapped just before he enters the Tour de France bicycling race. The rest of the film focuses on Madame Souza and her dog’s quest to rescue Champion. Along they way they encounter the "Triplets of Belleville," three eccentric female music-hall stars from the '30s who decide to take Madame Souza and Bruno under their wing. Rated PG-13. Virginia Art Theatre, TBA. For more information, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

To Have and Have Not – The News-Gazette Classic Film Festival. This classic film features a charter boat captain who reluctantly becomes involved with the French Resistance. Starring Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Walter Brennan, and Hoagie Carmichael. (NR). Virginia Theatre. 7pm. Tickets: $5.

For questions or more information, call 356-9063.

SaturdayFeb14 LIVE MUSIC Brain Housing Group – Record Service, 3pm, free Todd Snider – Canopy Club, 7pm, $10 Terminus Victor, i:scintilla, Harmony of Lies, Relenter – Nargile, 9pm, $5 Radio Girl Collective – Embassy Tavern, 9:30pm, free Troubled Waters with Mr. John Pennell – The Iron Post, 9:30pm, TBA The Blackouts, JFKFC, The Situation – Brass Rail, 10pm, TBA Tarbox Ramblers, Jakehead – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, TBA The Dunn Brothers Band – classic/southern rock – Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover The Brat Pack – ’80s retro – Marly’s in Springfield, 9pm, cover The Javelinas – Caffe Paradiso, 6-7pm, free

DJ Love/Hate Turn Table Debate w/ DJ's Bozak and Resonate – Caffe Paradiso, 7-9pm, free DJ Sophisto – Barfly, 9pm, free The INVASION Party: Tsunami Entertainment, DJ Asiatic, DJ Sam I Am, DJ Mathematix, DJ J-Phlip, Dance2XS – Canopy Club, 10pm, $10 DJ Tim Williams – dance – Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Mertz – house – Nargile, 10pm, TBA

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra – The orchestra provides "A Valentine Sampler" with Tchaikovsky's charming Rococo Variations, Stephen Mackey's dazzling TILT, Bruch's heartfelt Kol Nidrei, and some velvety love music from the Richard Strauss operas Der Rosenkavalier and Feuersnot. Foellinger Great Hall, 7:30pm. Tickets; $28, sc $25, stu $10. For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

"G" Force Karaoke – Historic Lincoln Castle Hotel Alumni Tap Bar, 9pm-1am UC Hip Hop Date Auction – Courtyard Cafe, 8pm, free

DANCING SalSabor presents: Latin Love @ Club Lava – Salsa, Mambo, Merengue, Bachata – Lava, 11pm, $3

buzz

buzz

ON STAGE Twelfth Night – This Shakespeare comedy explores love in almost all of its guises, from crushes and love-sick infatuations to deep commitment and gender-bending erotic heat. This production takes a modern look at a comic classic, drawing on contemporary pop culture and music to portray characters crazy in love and crazy in grief. Studio Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex tickets: $12, sc & stu $11, UI & yth $6. Single tickets: $13, sc & stu $12, UI & yth $7.

For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

FILM Concert for George – This film is a tribute to the late George Harrison, with various musicians putting their hearts and voices into Harrison’s music.

Director David Leland allows the music to speak for itself, and the result is an intimate, memorable tribute to a remarkable musician. The cameras get close to the performers and allow us to see their intensity and effort. Eric Clapton takes a break from his acoustic guitar for a bit and sounds reborn on countless songs. LeLand also inserts most of his interviews before the songs begin, which allows the songs to be set up properly and creates a powerful effect when the audience listens to each song. Rated PG-13. Virginia Art Theatre, 11:59pm. For more information, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

To Have and Have Not – The News-Gazette Classic Film Festival. This classic film features a charter boat captain who reluctantly becomes involved with the French Resistance. Starring Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Walter Brennan, and Hoagie Carmichael. (NR). Virginia Theatre. 2:30pm & 7pm.

Tickets: $5. For questions or more information, call 356-9063.

SundayFeb15 LIVE MUSIC Bockman's Euphio – Canopy Club, 10pm, free Shirley King w/ Chubby ‘n the Bones, special guest Maurice – Malibu Bay Lounge, 8-10pm, $15

DJ Blends by Otter – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Reel to Reel and the Wheels of Steel: Spicerack Movies with soundtrack provided by DJ Spinnerty and DJ Bozak – Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $1 DJ Fritz – Nargile, 10pm, free

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Concertante – Capturing the drama and emotion of music with a dazzling display of virtuosity, this collective of gifted Juilliard graduates has an agenda – they want you to experience brilliant but uncommon masterpieces. Concertante features its string players in its Krannert Center debut, capturing the harmonic textures and pathos of the two String Sextets by Johannes Brahms: No. 1 in B-flat Major, Op. 18, and No. 2 in G Major, Op. 36.

Foellinger Great Hall, 3pm. Flex tickets: $29, sc & stu $28, UI & yth $2. Single tickets: $31, sc & stu $30, UI & yth $25. Balcony tickets: $10, UI & yth $5.

music

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE!

CDReviews

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DIZZEE RASCAL Boy in Da Corner Matador

★★★★

BY ADAM BOSKEY

I studied abroad in England last year and was introduced to a lot of new music. UK Garage stood out above everything else I heard because it was a totally new form for me. It wasn’t my favorite—although the drum ‘n’ bass was mesmerizing—but it was nonetheless hard to ignore. UK Garage borrows from drum ‘n’bass, hip hop, two-step, dance hall and R&B to create a hybrid genre that at the time (and currently) was eating up the UK charts with acts like Ms. Dynamite, So Solid Crew, Artful Dodger, Oxide and Neutrino, and the Stanton Warriors. So far, this young genre has produced just one album that has created enough of a stir to gain mainstream attention across the pond here in the States. That album was the cinematic and honest Original Pirate Material, released in 2002 by The Streets. Right now, there is quite a stir for the latest UK Garage export. The word is out that the next Original Pirate Material is Boy in Da Corner by Dizzee Rascal, but does it live up to the hype?

It’s interesting to me that The Streets have become the torchbearer to the rest of the world for UK Garage music. It makes perfect sense since Mike Skinner has managed to get the most attention out of that lot, but it still remains interesting to me, though, because I have a hard time considering it UK Garage. I like to think of it as a more conservative hue of the genre. I hold similar sentiment for Boy in Da Corner. While The Streets like their Garage toned down and a bit more contemplative, Dizzee likes his frantic and in your face. In between the two lies the pop music I was accustomed to calling UK Garage while I was in England, something not too far from the more experimental beats from Timbaland and the Neptunes (sped up with some swing to the rhythm).

The thing that makes both these albums work is that the two differences in style suit the storytelling on the respective albums perfectly.

Before I get into the album, I have to say that even with some time living in England under my belt, I still cannot understand about 35 percent of the English on this record. This kid has a severely thick accent and it’s hard to cut through. To some, this will be a put-off, but I think it actually works well with the creative direction Rascal has taken the album.

Boy in Da Corner offers 16 stories about life the way Dizzee—who wrote and produced the album at the age of 18—witnesses it in government subsidized estates (housing projects) in the East End of London. As it quickly becomes apparent when listening to this album, life on the East End is hard. All of your assumptions about subject matter are correct, and unfortunately it’s the usual stereotypical stuff: gang violence, drugs, empty relationships, etc. What sets Dizzee apart from the rest is that in the presentation of his gangster-tinted lyrics, he also offers sage-like advice on the right way to live, which is rather refreshing. Although he’s subtle about it, this rude boy is wise beyond his years.

The production on this album is quite remarkable, especially since he was just 18 when he produced it. The mood on Boy in Da Corner is created by the heavy use of sequenced synthesizers and drum machines that at times verges on overkill. This works well with his tales as it creates a soundscape that recreates the emotional struggle of the ghetto life experience. Paired with his rapid-fire, near unintelligible lyrics is a unique sound that fires on all cylinders. I would compare this record to early Public Enemy in terms of its sonic aggressiveness. It is defiantly in your face, but like the sound of Public Enemy in the midand late ‘80s, it is definitely original.

This record is like Lebron James.There was a truckload

of hype surrounding each and they have both come through on the promises. Boy in Da Corner offers a different twist on an all too common theme in “urban” music.

Dizzee has the ability to allow his emotions to drive his creative process. This is what makes his art stand out from the rest of the dance-floor fodder that is UK Garage.

I admit I had reservations about its accessibility. But with all the press it has received lately, appearing on nearly every noteworthy “Best of 2003” list and winning the coveted Mercury Music Award (beating out the likes of Coldplay), I think people will definitely be on the lookout for this. As they should. As you should, especially if you’re a fan of Public Enemy, Run D.M.C., The Streets, Kraftwerk or Roni Size. For its originality, quality and potential to challenge listeners’ perceptions of what they consider good music, I give this album a perfect four stars.

boy.“When crafting an album in the Lo-Fye tradition, we must avoid at all costs embodying the complaints of our detractors, that ‘anyone could do this shit.’“ “You are learning, my student,” exclaimed Master Eyt Trac as a proud smile crossed his face.

(Addendum to this review: We, the editorial staff of Buzz magazine, apologize for the previous review. We realize that this conversational style of reviewing is selfindulgent, irrelevant to the material being reviewed and has been done to death, in most cases much better than what was exhibited here. Unfortunately, our normally semi-talented reviewer has been ingesting unsafe amounts of alcohol and watching far too many kung-fu films this week. He has been sent to his room without dessert and cannot come out until he writes a decent review for next week. Thank you for your time.)

11

he’s thinking about the community he is a part of.

People looking for music to chill to will find that Absolute Zero will fill their needs. And all the DJs, hip-hop heads and music critics who want to dissect and pick at the nuances of this mix will be hard-pressed to find flaws.

This reviewer sure as hell can’t. After The Porch and now Absolute Zero, let’s all hope that Spinnerty releases plenty more mix CDs before he leaves Champaign-Urbana.

MICE PARADE Obrigado Saudade Bubble Core

★★★

BY SHADIE ELNASHAI

BLOW Concussive Caress Or Casey Caught Her Mom Singing

DJ SPINNERTY Absolute Zero ★★★★

BY BRIAN MERTZ

K Records

★★

BY LOGAN MOORE

The scene is a verdant garden somewhere in the Far East. Master Eyt Trac, lifelong master of the deadly Lo-Fye technique, sits playing chess with his young student.Taking a drag from his thin bamboo pipe, Master Eyt Trac narrows his wisened eyes upon the boy and asks,“You seem troubled, my student.

What is the problem?”

“Well, you see, master, I have been studying the Lo-Fye technique for many years, and yet there are still elements of it that I seem unable to perfect.”

“I see,” said Master Eyt Trac, “Well, let me play something for you, boy, and perhaps it will illustrate the difference between effective Lo-Fye and what many refer to as meandering crap.”

The boy was excited and curious as his teacher handed him a compact disc. He turned it over in his boyish hands and examined it. “Hmm ... the cover seems as if it was made at Kinko’s, with a large photograph of a dog on the cover.”

“Yes, my son, and the fecal matter of a dog is highly representative of the music contained within,” said Eyt Trac.

“But master, this is Blow, as they are called, not on K Records, home to The Microphones, masters of the LoFye technique.”

“This is true, my son,” Eyt Trac went on,“But never be deceived by the lure of a flagship band. Remember Elephant Six. Remember the vast sea of incompetence which lies behind Olivia Tremor Control and Neutral Milk Hotel. Here, place the compact disc into this device and listen.”

The boy listened and responded,“Well, the first track is good, this ‘How Naked Are We Going to Get?’ It has a childish yet haunted sexuality about it.”

“This is true, but listen further, child.”

“Hmm ... the fourth song, ‘Sweetheart’ is classic pop, firmly in the Lo-Fye tradition. However, it is jammed in between three or four ... umm ...” The boy was at a loss for words.

“Infantile, cloying, eight-track experiments?”answered Master Eyt Trac.“You see, pupil, Blow has forgotten one of the major tenets of Lo-Fye. One must achieve an acceptable balance between off-the-cuff experimentalism and actual songs. This album does contain several highlights, most notably ‘Come On Pauline,’ a catchy, wasted bedroom dance track with excellent use of squelching electronic noise in the background, and ‘Where I Love You,’ a disturbed and quietly jarring ballad punctuated by alternately stabbing and flowing strings. However, far too many tracks seem to wander aimlessly through the wilderness. And unlike the meditative journeys you and I have taken, Blow explores paths that no man should; paths that lead the listener to the twin demons of boredom and annoyance. Additionally, out of 15 tracks, at least half of them should be actual songs. Instead, much of the disc is filled with the sort of ironic, self-indulgent hack work that causes irrational behavior. For example, the copy you now hold, student, is actually the second copy of this disk. The first one was shorn into a thousand pieces after I rained down upon it with the dreaded Eagle Claw style. Even a kung-fu master loses his temper when forced to listen to songs like ‘Gravity (Pauline’s Response to Amy),’ which sounds like the juvenile poetry of a heavily-sedated 16-year-old in mid-orgasm, underwater.”

“I think I catch your meaning, master,” responded the

How do you improve upon a DJ career that has seen multiple residencies, opening slots for some of the true greats in hip hop, a live hip-hop band that is quickly gaining local acclaim and a mix CD that was listed as one of URB Magazine’s Top 10 mix CDs of 2003? If you’re Dan Finnerty, better known to the Champaign hip-hop community as DJ Spinnerty, you get to the computer and make a new masterpiece.

Spinnerty’s new mix CD, Absolute Zero, finds him going it alone without frequent collaborator DJ d-Lo. It also sees Spinnerty putting this album together on his computer instead of live on the turntables like he did with d-Lo on their critically acclaimed 2003 mix Play It On The Porch.

But before you start hating on the use of the computer to make the mix, realize that the technology wasn’t used as a shortcut, but more out of necessity.

Constant vocal samples, recorded scratches and live tracks of local artists decorate the solid backbone of Spinnerty’s mixes. All those small flourishes aren’t possible (at least not for a reasonable cost) just sticking to wax. And besides, once the CD starts, it doesn’t matter how Spinnerty made it, just that he did.

The liner notes of Absolute Zero say that the mix was trying “to capture the transition from November to February” and that “no matter the weather, these are songs that have made me shiver.”

That theme is easy enough to spot on Absolute Zero.

Harmonic 33’s “The Holy Track,” Dudley Perkins’“Falling” and Planet Asia’s “Definition of Ill” will make any listener feel downright cold. However, nearly any DJ can pick a simple theme (i.e. love, a party, politics, war) and find enough tracks to fit that general theme.

Spinnerty’s immense skills and sublime musical ear come from a subtler mood that he creates with the 16 tracks on Absolute Zero. Instead of feeling merely like a party mix or a chill mix, Absolute Zero feels like a yearbook—a documentary told through other peoples’ music. It is what every performer that uses another’s creativity as a starting point strives for. Be it singing another’s song, borrowing a line of poetry, using an already established painting technique or DJing, using another’s work is a delicate thing.

Spinnerty’s ability to take all of these outside creative endeavors and mold them into something so clearly his own is a skill the majority of DJs don’t have, and that most members of the public can’t put their finger on. This intangible quality makes Absolute Zero a fantastic album in its own right.The quality of the tracks Spinnerty selected make Absolute Zero a masterpiece.

The haunting violins of Automator’s “Sleep” (with Spinnerty’s own scratch patterns and samples thrown over the top) are gorgeous. Illogic and Blueprint’s “Favorite Things” may be a cold track, but it also instantly brings smiles to the faces of people who live hip hop.

And anyone who has even a passing appreciation of underground hip hop will dig RJD2 v. Copywrite’s “June” and El-P with Slug performing “Homecoming.”

On a completely different level, Absolute Zero gives the Champaign hip-hop community a push by including tracks from local artists like Soulstice’s “The Melody” and a live flow from The Melodic Scribes at Highdive.

Pushing the local scene is not something any DJ needs to do, but the fact that Spinnerty devoted tracks on his CD to Champaign hip-hop artists shows Spinnerty not only thinking about himself, but in true hip-hop style,

The name Mice Parade is an anagram of its founder and only official member, New York native Adam Pierce. His fifth release in as many years, Obrigado Saudade (pronounced “obrigado sauda-gee”, Portuguese for “Thank you, nostalgia”), further solidifies a deserved reputation for satisfying his fan base. With each release, Pierce is becoming increasingly confident and accomplished, drawing on numerous influences in his genre-blending creations. The unique sound of Mice Parade—frequently compared to Tortoise—evades traditional pigeonholing: They can be described as an experimental post-rock outfit or an IDM act (Intelligent Dance Music) or even an ambientjam band.

It seems recent trends within independent electronica have favored South American influences as the pick of the “world music” scene, and the sporadic Latin flavor of Obrigado Saudade is no exception. But Pierce’s previously proven eclecticism elevates the album above similar ventures. Standout tracks include “Mystery Brethren,” the second half of which builds into a pleasantly surprising and understated post-rock crescendo.

Another highlight is the opener, “Two, Three, Fall,” notable for the ethereal guest vocals by Kristín Valtysdóttir, the lead singer of Iceland’s Múm.

Frequently, the supersaturation of creativity can become problematic, specifically when the multilayering lacks a clear focus. The various elements tend to distract from—rather than complement—one another.

But the significant downfall of the album is that it lacks emotion, and with the detached clinical approach, it becomes literate but never fluent.

The unique blend of genres and influences means that Obrigado Saudade arguably works more coherently as a compilation of songs that never genuinely congeals. The only logical progression occurs when “Milton Road” turns into “Spain.” The former showcases its dexterity with a guitar: the distinctly Spanish-sounding rhythmic acoustic strumming counters the occasional burst from his electric. The next track strips down a theme similar to that of “Milton Road,” and with Valtysdóttir’s breathy exhales creates a one minute and 20-second track that seems to be a natural progression despite being entirely different in tone.

Obrigado Saudade is a constantly enjoyable solid album with perhaps not enough defining moments. It strongly suggests that Mice Parade is on the verge of creating an outstanding album, though this one is not quite it. Certainly there is an abundance of inventiveness and creativity. While sometimes reminiscent of worthwhile material with which we are already familiar, it is sufficiently progressive so as to never seem derivative. Though this is definitely a very worthwhile record, it seems more suited to a live medium, which is convenient because Mice Parade will be playing with HiM and Mileece this Friday at Cowboy Monkey. Pierce will be playing with a full band, including Valtysdóttir, Dylan Christy of Dylan Group and Doug Scharin of HiM (who also appears on the album). He will also appear as part of HiM’s lineup.

MUSIC REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unlistenable

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5:42 PM

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buzzpicks

Shake off Valentine’s Day woes with live rock, folk and DJ music V

alentine’s Day ... the heartfelt, sentimental holiday for some; the dreaded, annoying holiday for others; and the “just-another-day-so-what’s-the-bigdeal” holiday for still others. Regardless of your feelings about the day, spend it with one or some of the stellar music performances going on around town.

Celebrate being free and on your own by heading to Nargile to see a live show packed with quality acts the whole night.

Terminus Victor is a two-man team that handles a drum machine, bass, guitar and vocals between them, and creates fast-paced songs that will keep your adrelnaline pumping.

American Minor shakes things up

I:scintilla delivers powerful, emotional sounds and lyrics you will find hard not to connect to.

Harmony of Lies adds electronics to their rock music to create a unique, memorable sound. And local band Relenter also blends electronics into their music to create lasting, fun songs. Get there by 9 p.m. to catch all these bands and all this music for $5.

It’s Miller Time at Joe’s!

Also playing tonight, Radio Girl Collective at Embassy Tavern.

The show starts at 9:30 p.m. and is free.Troubled Waters with Mr. John Pennell will be at The Iron Post at 9:30 p.m. Tarbox Ramblers and Jakehead will be at Cowboy Monkey at 10 p.m.

Classic rockers The Dunn Brothers Band will be at Tommy G’s starting at 10 p.m.

Head to Brass Rail for the “Fuck Love Fest,” a night of music to make you forget any exes or unrequited loves in your life. The Blackouts serve up straight rock music, loud and fast... followed by JFKFC and The Situation. Show starts at 10 p.m.

Live Music ...

Start off at Record Service, where Brain Housing Group will perform at 3 p.m. No charge, just quality music in support of local acts.The Javelinas will play at Caffe Paradiso 6-7 p.m. The show is free, but for $6 you can join in on the pasta dinner provided by the cafe. The dinner starts at 6 p.m. and will go until you eat all the pasta.

Folk rock artist Todd Snider will be at Canopy Club at 7 p.m. He is currently promoting his fifth and latest album, Near Truths and Hotel Rooms. Tickets are $10.

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DJ’s ...

Hang out at Caffe Paradiso and hear DJs Bozak and Resonate perform a “Love/Hate Turn Table Debate” 7-9 p.m. The show is free and follows live music act The Javelinas. Also spinning will be DJ Sophisto at Barfly, 9 p.m. That show is also free. At 10 p.m., head to Canopy Club to witness “The INVASION Party” with Tsunami Entertianment, DJ Asiatic, DJ Sam I Am, DJ Mathematix, DJ J-Phlip and Dance 2XS. Hear all this music for $10. DJ Tim Williams will spin dance music at Highdive at 10 p.m. And DJ Mertz also will be at Nargile at 10 p.m.

A

merican Minor puts on an unforgettable live show. The West Virginian rock band came to Champaign-Urbana last year and has been rocking loud and fast ever since. Every act from Johnny Cash to the Rolling Stones to Lynyrd Skynyrd are mentioned when trying to describe American Minor’s music. But regardless of the references, these five boys know how to make quality rock ‘n’ roll music, and they have fun doing it. You have not fully experienced the band’s music until you catch their live show. They sing, they yell, they play loud, they get the crowd going so much that you won’t sit down or take a breath once during the show—and you won’t want to. Experience American Minor Thursday at Cowboy Monkey. Volcano I’m Still Excited! and We Ragazzi will also perform. Cover is $3 at the door.

For extra photos, check out readbuzz.com

021204buzz1213

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2/11/04

calendar

5:42 PM

Page 1

calendar

buzzpicks

Shake off Valentine’s Day woes with live rock, folk and DJ music V

alentine’s Day ... the heartfelt, sentimental holiday for some; the dreaded, annoying holiday for others; and the “just-another-day-so-what’s-the-bigdeal” holiday for still others. Regardless of your feelings about the day, spend it with one or some of the stellar music performances going on around town.

Celebrate being free and on your own by heading to Nargile to see a live show packed with quality acts the whole night.

Terminus Victor is a two-man team that handles a drum machine, bass, guitar and vocals between them, and creates fast-paced songs that will keep your adrelnaline pumping.

American Minor shakes things up

I:scintilla delivers powerful, emotional sounds and lyrics you will find hard not to connect to.

Harmony of Lies adds electronics to their rock music to create a unique, memorable sound. And local band Relenter also blends electronics into their music to create lasting, fun songs. Get there by 9 p.m. to catch all these bands and all this music for $5.

It’s Miller Time at Joe’s!

Also playing tonight, Radio Girl Collective at Embassy Tavern.

The show starts at 9:30 p.m. and is free.Troubled Waters with Mr. John Pennell will be at The Iron Post at 9:30 p.m. Tarbox Ramblers and Jakehead will be at Cowboy Monkey at 10 p.m.

Classic rockers The Dunn Brothers Band will be at Tommy G’s starting at 10 p.m.

Head to Brass Rail for the “Fuck Love Fest,” a night of music to make you forget any exes or unrequited loves in your life. The Blackouts serve up straight rock music, loud and fast... followed by JFKFC and The Situation. Show starts at 10 p.m.

Live Music ...

Start off at Record Service, where Brain Housing Group will perform at 3 p.m. No charge, just quality music in support of local acts.The Javelinas will play at Caffe Paradiso 6-7 p.m. The show is free, but for $6 you can join in on the pasta dinner provided by the cafe. The dinner starts at 6 p.m. and will go until you eat all the pasta.

Folk rock artist Todd Snider will be at Canopy Club at 7 p.m. He is currently promoting his fifth and latest album, Near Truths and Hotel Rooms. Tickets are $10.

13

DJ’s ...

Hang out at Caffe Paradiso and hear DJs Bozak and Resonate perform a “Love/Hate Turn Table Debate” 7-9 p.m. The show is free and follows live music act The Javelinas. Also spinning will be DJ Sophisto at Barfly, 9 p.m. That show is also free. At 10 p.m., head to Canopy Club to witness “The INVASION Party” with Tsunami Entertianment, DJ Asiatic, DJ Sam I Am, DJ Mathematix, DJ J-Phlip and Dance 2XS. Hear all this music for $10. DJ Tim Williams will spin dance music at Highdive at 10 p.m. And DJ Mertz also will be at Nargile at 10 p.m.

A

merican Minor puts on an unforgettable live show. The West Virginian rock band came to Champaign-Urbana last year and has been rocking loud and fast ever since. Every act from Johnny Cash to the Rolling Stones to Lynyrd Skynyrd are mentioned when trying to describe American Minor’s music. But regardless of the references, these five boys know how to make quality rock ‘n’ roll music, and they have fun doing it. You have not fully experienced the band’s music until you catch their live show. They sing, they yell, they play loud, they get the crowd going so much that you won’t sit down or take a breath once during the show—and you won’t want to. Experience American Minor Thursday at Cowboy Monkey. Volcano I’m Still Excited! and We Ragazzi will also perform. Cover is $3 at the door.

For extra photos, check out readbuzz.com

2/11/04

5:39 PM

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WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

ThursdayFeb12

FridayFeb13

LIVE MUSIC

LIVE MUSIC

Big Band Jazz – The Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Acoustic Music Series: Eleni Moraites – Aroma, 8pm, free Bruiser and the Virtues – Zorba’s, 9:30pm, $3 Illinois Student Environmental Network Benefit: Sick Day, Mike Ingram, Kate Hathaway, Green Mountain Grass – Canopy Club, 10pm, $4 American Minor, Volcano I'm Still Excited!!, We Ragazzi – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $3 Cameron McGill – Record Service, TBA, free Northstar Lounge hosted by Czar Absolute – hip hop/poetry – Nargile, 10pm, $5 DJ J-Phlip – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Delayney – hip hop/reggae/roots – Nargile, 10pm, $5

Darrin Drda – Record Service, 3pm, free Doxy – The Iron Post, 5pm, TBA HIM, Mice Parade, Mileece – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 56 Hope Road – The Iron Post, 10pm, TBA The Idle Hours, The Standard, Monster Honkey – Nargile, 10pm, $5 The Brat Pack – ’80s retro – Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Tom Grassman and Jammin’ Jimmy Bean – acoustic rock – Tommy G’s, 5-7pm, free X-Krush – Hollywood Sports Pub in Robinson, TBA Delta Kings – rock & blues – Elmer’s Club 45, 9pm, TBA Hairbanger’s Ball II – Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Bird Yellowhorse – Navajo musician – Verde, 8pm The Idle Hours, The Standard, Monster Honkey – Nargile, 10pm, $5

MUSIC PERFORMANCE

DJ

DJ

UI Symphony Orchestra – Classic works make up this program, including Beethoven's Leonore Overture No. 2, Mozart's Concerto No. 4 for Horn, and Schubert's Symphony No. 5. Foellinger Great Hall, 7:30pm. Tickets: $5, sc $4, stu $2. For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

"G" Force Karaoke – Pia's in Rantoul, 9pm-1am

DJ Bozak – house/hip hop/downbeat – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams – dance – Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Impact – house – Nargile, 10pm, $5

AROUND TOWN

SPOKEN WORD

Wine Tasting – Sample wines and learn about the different kinds of wine tonight at Krannert Center.

The center and Sun Singer Wine & Gifts, Ltd. host the wine tastings. Each week, two or three wines are introduced for free tasting. You can also buy full glasses of wine for $3.50 per glass. The center’s Interlude Bar will sell the featured wines throughout the week at regular price. Krannert Center lobby, Interlude Bar, 5pm, free.

Speed Dating – Courtyard Cafe, 8-9:30pm, 9:3011pm, $5, stu $3

ON STAGE Twelfth Night – This Shakespeare comedy explores love in almost all of its guises, from crushes and love-sick infatuations to deep commitment and gender-bending erotic heat. This production takes a modern look at a comic classic, drawing on contemporary pop culture and music to portray characters crazy in love and crazy in grief. Studio Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex tickets: $12, sc & stu $11, UI & yth $6. Single tickets: $13, sc & stu $12, UI & yth $7.

For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

The Complete Works of The Prompting Theater (Briefly) – This fund-raising dinner theater performance goes through the entire repertory of the Prompting Theater in one hour. McKinley Church.

Dinner at 6pm, Show at 7pm. Suggested donation for the evening is $10 or $5 for only the show. Call 356-9176 to make dinner reservations. Show-only tickets will be available at the door.

FILM The Bread, My Sweet – A film about culture, family and love. It’s a journey to a place where work is hard, wine is made in the basement, the future is stored dollar by dollar in coffee cans, and people sometimes believe that doing the outrageous thing is better than doing nothing at all. Rated NR. Virginia Art Theatre, 5:15pm, 7:30pm, 9:45pm.

LIVE JAZZ at & er es s i u u Br Virt e $ Th

3

627 E. GREEN 344-0710

THURSDAY AT 9:30 $3.00 COVER

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Karaoke Contest – Courtyard Cafe, 8pm, free Cotton Club 2004: Feat. Lester Barrie and UIUC/Illinois upcoming talent – Assembly Hall, 7pm, advance tickets: $18-$20, stu $15-$17, door tickets: $20, stu $18

ON STAGE Twelfth Night – This Shakespeare comedy explores love in almost all of its guises, from crushes and love-sick infatuations to deep commitment and gender-bending erotic heat. This production takes a modern look at a comic classic, drawing on contemporary pop culture and music to portray characters crazy in love and crazy in grief. Studio Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex tickets: $12, sc & stu $11, UI & yth $6. Single tickets: $13, sc & stu $12, UI & yth $7.

For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

FILM Concert for George – This film is a tribute to the late George Harrison, with various musicians putting their hearts and voices into Harrison’s music.

Director David Leland allows the music to speak for itself, and the result is an intimate, memorable tribute to a remarkable musician. The cameras get close to the performers and allow us to see their intensity and effort. Eric Clapton takes a break from his acoustic guitar for a bit and sounds reborn on countless songs. LeLand also inserts most of his interviews before the songs begin, which allows the songs to be set up properly and creates a powerful effect when the audience listens to each song. Rated PG-13. Boardman’s Art Theatre, 11:59pm. For more information, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

The Triplets of Belleville – This Sundance favorite centers around a lonely boy named Champion and the grandmother who adopts him, Madame Souza. After growing into a master bicyclist, Champion is kidnapped just before he enters the Tour de France bicycling race. The rest of the film focuses on Madame Souza and her dog’s quest to rescue Champion. Along they way they encounter the "Triplets of Belleville," three eccentric female music-hall stars from the '30s who decide to take Madame Souza and Bruno under their wing. Rated PG-13. Virginia Art Theatre, TBA. For more information, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

To Have and Have Not – The News-Gazette Classic Film Festival. This classic film features a charter boat captain who reluctantly becomes involved with the French Resistance. Starring Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Walter Brennan, and Hoagie Carmichael. (NR). Virginia Theatre. 7pm. Tickets: $5.

For questions or more information, call 356-9063.

SaturdayFeb14 LIVE MUSIC Brain Housing Group – Record Service, 3pm, free Todd Snider – Canopy Club, 7pm, $10 Terminus Victor, i:scintilla, Harmony of Lies, Relenter – Nargile, 9pm, $5 Radio Girl Collective – Embassy Tavern, 9:30pm, free Troubled Waters with Mr. John Pennell – The Iron Post, 9:30pm, TBA The Blackouts, JFKFC, The Situation – Brass Rail, 10pm, TBA Tarbox Ramblers, Jakehead – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, TBA The Dunn Brothers Band – classic/southern rock – Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover The Brat Pack – ’80s retro – Marly’s in Springfield, 9pm, cover The Javelinas – Caffe Paradiso, 6-7pm, free

DJ Love/Hate Turn Table Debate w/ DJ's Bozak and Resonate – Caffe Paradiso, 7-9pm, free DJ Sophisto – Barfly, 9pm, free The INVASION Party: Tsunami Entertainment, DJ Asiatic, DJ Sam I Am, DJ Mathematix, DJ J-Phlip, Dance2XS – Canopy Club, 10pm, $10 DJ Tim Williams – dance – Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Mertz – house – Nargile, 10pm, TBA

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra – The orchestra provides "A Valentine Sampler" with Tchaikovsky's charming Rococo Variations, Stephen Mackey's dazzling TILT, Bruch's heartfelt Kol Nidrei, and some velvety love music from the Richard Strauss operas Der Rosenkavalier and Feuersnot. Foellinger Great Hall, 7:30pm. Tickets; $28, sc $25, stu $10. For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

"G" Force Karaoke – Historic Lincoln Castle Hotel Alumni Tap Bar, 9pm-1am UC Hip Hop Date Auction – Courtyard Cafe, 8pm, free

DANCING SalSabor presents: Latin Love @ Club Lava – Salsa, Mambo, Merengue, Bachata – Lava, 11pm, $3

buzz

buzz

ON STAGE Twelfth Night – This Shakespeare comedy explores love in almost all of its guises, from crushes and love-sick infatuations to deep commitment and gender-bending erotic heat. This production takes a modern look at a comic classic, drawing on contemporary pop culture and music to portray characters crazy in love and crazy in grief. Studio Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex tickets: $12, sc & stu $11, UI & yth $6. Single tickets: $13, sc & stu $12, UI & yth $7.

For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

FILM Concert for George – This film is a tribute to the late George Harrison, with various musicians putting their hearts and voices into Harrison’s music.

Director David Leland allows the music to speak for itself, and the result is an intimate, memorable tribute to a remarkable musician. The cameras get close to the performers and allow us to see their intensity and effort. Eric Clapton takes a break from his acoustic guitar for a bit and sounds reborn on countless songs. LeLand also inserts most of his interviews before the songs begin, which allows the songs to be set up properly and creates a powerful effect when the audience listens to each song. Rated PG-13. Virginia Art Theatre, 11:59pm. For more information, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

To Have and Have Not – The News-Gazette Classic Film Festival. This classic film features a charter boat captain who reluctantly becomes involved with the French Resistance. Starring Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Walter Brennan, and Hoagie Carmichael. (NR). Virginia Theatre. 2:30pm & 7pm.

Tickets: $5. For questions or more information, call 356-9063.

SundayFeb15 LIVE MUSIC Bockman's Euphio – Canopy Club, 10pm, free Shirley King w/ Chubby ‘n the Bones, special guest Maurice – Malibu Bay Lounge, 8-10pm, $15

DJ Blends by Otter – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Reel to Reel and the Wheels of Steel: Spicerack Movies with soundtrack provided by DJ Spinnerty and DJ Bozak – Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $1 DJ Fritz – Nargile, 10pm, free

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Concertante – Capturing the drama and emotion of music with a dazzling display of virtuosity, this collective of gifted Juilliard graduates has an agenda – they want you to experience brilliant but uncommon masterpieces. Concertante features its string players in its Krannert Center debut, capturing the harmonic textures and pathos of the two String Sextets by Johannes Brahms: No. 1 in B-flat Major, Op. 18, and No. 2 in G Major, Op. 36.

Foellinger Great Hall, 3pm. Flex tickets: $29, sc & stu $28, UI & yth $2. Single tickets: $31, sc & stu $30, UI & yth $25. Balcony tickets: $10, UI & yth $5.

music

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE!

CDReviews

021204buzz1114

DIZZEE RASCAL Boy in Da Corner Matador

★★★★

BY ADAM BOSKEY

I studied abroad in England last year and was introduced to a lot of new music. UK Garage stood out above everything else I heard because it was a totally new form for me. It wasn’t my favorite—although the drum ‘n’ bass was mesmerizing—but it was nonetheless hard to ignore. UK Garage borrows from drum ‘n’bass, hip hop, two-step, dance hall and R&B to create a hybrid genre that at the time (and currently) was eating up the UK charts with acts like Ms. Dynamite, So Solid Crew, Artful Dodger, Oxide and Neutrino, and the Stanton Warriors. So far, this young genre has produced just one album that has created enough of a stir to gain mainstream attention across the pond here in the States. That album was the cinematic and honest Original Pirate Material, released in 2002 by The Streets. Right now, there is quite a stir for the latest UK Garage export. The word is out that the next Original Pirate Material is Boy in Da Corner by Dizzee Rascal, but does it live up to the hype?

It’s interesting to me that The Streets have become the torchbearer to the rest of the world for UK Garage music. It makes perfect sense since Mike Skinner has managed to get the most attention out of that lot, but it still remains interesting to me, though, because I have a hard time considering it UK Garage. I like to think of it as a more conservative hue of the genre. I hold similar sentiment for Boy in Da Corner. While The Streets like their Garage toned down and a bit more contemplative, Dizzee likes his frantic and in your face. In between the two lies the pop music I was accustomed to calling UK Garage while I was in England, something not too far from the more experimental beats from Timbaland and the Neptunes (sped up with some swing to the rhythm).

The thing that makes both these albums work is that the two differences in style suit the storytelling on the respective albums perfectly.

Before I get into the album, I have to say that even with some time living in England under my belt, I still cannot understand about 35 percent of the English on this record. This kid has a severely thick accent and it’s hard to cut through. To some, this will be a put-off, but I think it actually works well with the creative direction Rascal has taken the album.

Boy in Da Corner offers 16 stories about life the way Dizzee—who wrote and produced the album at the age of 18—witnesses it in government subsidized estates (housing projects) in the East End of London. As it quickly becomes apparent when listening to this album, life on the East End is hard. All of your assumptions about subject matter are correct, and unfortunately it’s the usual stereotypical stuff: gang violence, drugs, empty relationships, etc. What sets Dizzee apart from the rest is that in the presentation of his gangster-tinted lyrics, he also offers sage-like advice on the right way to live, which is rather refreshing. Although he’s subtle about it, this rude boy is wise beyond his years.

The production on this album is quite remarkable, especially since he was just 18 when he produced it. The mood on Boy in Da Corner is created by the heavy use of sequenced synthesizers and drum machines that at times verges on overkill. This works well with his tales as it creates a soundscape that recreates the emotional struggle of the ghetto life experience. Paired with his rapid-fire, near unintelligible lyrics is a unique sound that fires on all cylinders. I would compare this record to early Public Enemy in terms of its sonic aggressiveness. It is defiantly in your face, but like the sound of Public Enemy in the midand late ‘80s, it is definitely original.

This record is like Lebron James.There was a truckload

of hype surrounding each and they have both come through on the promises. Boy in Da Corner offers a different twist on an all too common theme in “urban” music.

Dizzee has the ability to allow his emotions to drive his creative process. This is what makes his art stand out from the rest of the dance-floor fodder that is UK Garage.

I admit I had reservations about its accessibility. But with all the press it has received lately, appearing on nearly every noteworthy “Best of 2003” list and winning the coveted Mercury Music Award (beating out the likes of Coldplay), I think people will definitely be on the lookout for this. As they should. As you should, especially if you’re a fan of Public Enemy, Run D.M.C., The Streets, Kraftwerk or Roni Size. For its originality, quality and potential to challenge listeners’ perceptions of what they consider good music, I give this album a perfect four stars.

boy.“When crafting an album in the Lo-Fye tradition, we must avoid at all costs embodying the complaints of our detractors, that ‘anyone could do this shit.’“ “You are learning, my student,” exclaimed Master Eyt Trac as a proud smile crossed his face.

(Addendum to this review: We, the editorial staff of Buzz magazine, apologize for the previous review. We realize that this conversational style of reviewing is selfindulgent, irrelevant to the material being reviewed and has been done to death, in most cases much better than what was exhibited here. Unfortunately, our normally semi-talented reviewer has been ingesting unsafe amounts of alcohol and watching far too many kung-fu films this week. He has been sent to his room without dessert and cannot come out until he writes a decent review for next week. Thank you for your time.)

11

he’s thinking about the community he is a part of.

People looking for music to chill to will find that Absolute Zero will fill their needs. And all the DJs, hip-hop heads and music critics who want to dissect and pick at the nuances of this mix will be hard-pressed to find flaws.

This reviewer sure as hell can’t. After The Porch and now Absolute Zero, let’s all hope that Spinnerty releases plenty more mix CDs before he leaves Champaign-Urbana.

MICE PARADE Obrigado Saudade Bubble Core

★★★

BY SHADIE ELNASHAI

BLOW Concussive Caress Or Casey Caught Her Mom Singing

DJ SPINNERTY Absolute Zero ★★★★

BY BRIAN MERTZ

K Records

★★

BY LOGAN MOORE

The scene is a verdant garden somewhere in the Far East. Master Eyt Trac, lifelong master of the deadly Lo-Fye technique, sits playing chess with his young student.Taking a drag from his thin bamboo pipe, Master Eyt Trac narrows his wisened eyes upon the boy and asks,“You seem troubled, my student.

What is the problem?”

“Well, you see, master, I have been studying the Lo-Fye technique for many years, and yet there are still elements of it that I seem unable to perfect.”

“I see,” said Master Eyt Trac, “Well, let me play something for you, boy, and perhaps it will illustrate the difference between effective Lo-Fye and what many refer to as meandering crap.”

The boy was excited and curious as his teacher handed him a compact disc. He turned it over in his boyish hands and examined it. “Hmm ... the cover seems as if it was made at Kinko’s, with a large photograph of a dog on the cover.”

“Yes, my son, and the fecal matter of a dog is highly representative of the music contained within,” said Eyt Trac.

“But master, this is Blow, as they are called, not on K Records, home to The Microphones, masters of the LoFye technique.”

“This is true, my son,” Eyt Trac went on,“But never be deceived by the lure of a flagship band. Remember Elephant Six. Remember the vast sea of incompetence which lies behind Olivia Tremor Control and Neutral Milk Hotel. Here, place the compact disc into this device and listen.”

The boy listened and responded,“Well, the first track is good, this ‘How Naked Are We Going to Get?’ It has a childish yet haunted sexuality about it.”

“This is true, but listen further, child.”

“Hmm ... the fourth song, ‘Sweetheart’ is classic pop, firmly in the Lo-Fye tradition. However, it is jammed in between three or four ... umm ...” The boy was at a loss for words.

“Infantile, cloying, eight-track experiments?”answered Master Eyt Trac.“You see, pupil, Blow has forgotten one of the major tenets of Lo-Fye. One must achieve an acceptable balance between off-the-cuff experimentalism and actual songs. This album does contain several highlights, most notably ‘Come On Pauline,’ a catchy, wasted bedroom dance track with excellent use of squelching electronic noise in the background, and ‘Where I Love You,’ a disturbed and quietly jarring ballad punctuated by alternately stabbing and flowing strings. However, far too many tracks seem to wander aimlessly through the wilderness. And unlike the meditative journeys you and I have taken, Blow explores paths that no man should; paths that lead the listener to the twin demons of boredom and annoyance. Additionally, out of 15 tracks, at least half of them should be actual songs. Instead, much of the disc is filled with the sort of ironic, self-indulgent hack work that causes irrational behavior. For example, the copy you now hold, student, is actually the second copy of this disk. The first one was shorn into a thousand pieces after I rained down upon it with the dreaded Eagle Claw style. Even a kung-fu master loses his temper when forced to listen to songs like ‘Gravity (Pauline’s Response to Amy),’ which sounds like the juvenile poetry of a heavily-sedated 16-year-old in mid-orgasm, underwater.”

“I think I catch your meaning, master,” responded the

How do you improve upon a DJ career that has seen multiple residencies, opening slots for some of the true greats in hip hop, a live hip-hop band that is quickly gaining local acclaim and a mix CD that was listed as one of URB Magazine’s Top 10 mix CDs of 2003? If you’re Dan Finnerty, better known to the Champaign hip-hop community as DJ Spinnerty, you get to the computer and make a new masterpiece.

Spinnerty’s new mix CD, Absolute Zero, finds him going it alone without frequent collaborator DJ d-Lo. It also sees Spinnerty putting this album together on his computer instead of live on the turntables like he did with d-Lo on their critically acclaimed 2003 mix Play It On The Porch.

But before you start hating on the use of the computer to make the mix, realize that the technology wasn’t used as a shortcut, but more out of necessity.

Constant vocal samples, recorded scratches and live tracks of local artists decorate the solid backbone of Spinnerty’s mixes. All those small flourishes aren’t possible (at least not for a reasonable cost) just sticking to wax. And besides, once the CD starts, it doesn’t matter how Spinnerty made it, just that he did.

The liner notes of Absolute Zero say that the mix was trying “to capture the transition from November to February” and that “no matter the weather, these are songs that have made me shiver.”

That theme is easy enough to spot on Absolute Zero.

Harmonic 33’s “The Holy Track,” Dudley Perkins’“Falling” and Planet Asia’s “Definition of Ill” will make any listener feel downright cold. However, nearly any DJ can pick a simple theme (i.e. love, a party, politics, war) and find enough tracks to fit that general theme.

Spinnerty’s immense skills and sublime musical ear come from a subtler mood that he creates with the 16 tracks on Absolute Zero. Instead of feeling merely like a party mix or a chill mix, Absolute Zero feels like a yearbook—a documentary told through other peoples’ music. It is what every performer that uses another’s creativity as a starting point strives for. Be it singing another’s song, borrowing a line of poetry, using an already established painting technique or DJing, using another’s work is a delicate thing.

Spinnerty’s ability to take all of these outside creative endeavors and mold them into something so clearly his own is a skill the majority of DJs don’t have, and that most members of the public can’t put their finger on. This intangible quality makes Absolute Zero a fantastic album in its own right.The quality of the tracks Spinnerty selected make Absolute Zero a masterpiece.

The haunting violins of Automator’s “Sleep” (with Spinnerty’s own scratch patterns and samples thrown over the top) are gorgeous. Illogic and Blueprint’s “Favorite Things” may be a cold track, but it also instantly brings smiles to the faces of people who live hip hop.

And anyone who has even a passing appreciation of underground hip hop will dig RJD2 v. Copywrite’s “June” and El-P with Slug performing “Homecoming.”

On a completely different level, Absolute Zero gives the Champaign hip-hop community a push by including tracks from local artists like Soulstice’s “The Melody” and a live flow from The Melodic Scribes at Highdive.

Pushing the local scene is not something any DJ needs to do, but the fact that Spinnerty devoted tracks on his CD to Champaign hip-hop artists shows Spinnerty not only thinking about himself, but in true hip-hop style,

The name Mice Parade is an anagram of its founder and only official member, New York native Adam Pierce. His fifth release in as many years, Obrigado Saudade (pronounced “obrigado sauda-gee”, Portuguese for “Thank you, nostalgia”), further solidifies a deserved reputation for satisfying his fan base. With each release, Pierce is becoming increasingly confident and accomplished, drawing on numerous influences in his genre-blending creations. The unique sound of Mice Parade—frequently compared to Tortoise—evades traditional pigeonholing: They can be described as an experimental post-rock outfit or an IDM act (Intelligent Dance Music) or even an ambientjam band.

It seems recent trends within independent electronica have favored South American influences as the pick of the “world music” scene, and the sporadic Latin flavor of Obrigado Saudade is no exception. But Pierce’s previously proven eclecticism elevates the album above similar ventures. Standout tracks include “Mystery Brethren,” the second half of which builds into a pleasantly surprising and understated post-rock crescendo.

Another highlight is the opener, “Two, Three, Fall,” notable for the ethereal guest vocals by Kristín Valtysdóttir, the lead singer of Iceland’s Múm.

Frequently, the supersaturation of creativity can become problematic, specifically when the multilayering lacks a clear focus. The various elements tend to distract from—rather than complement—one another.

But the significant downfall of the album is that it lacks emotion, and with the detached clinical approach, it becomes literate but never fluent.

The unique blend of genres and influences means that Obrigado Saudade arguably works more coherently as a compilation of songs that never genuinely congeals. The only logical progression occurs when “Milton Road” turns into “Spain.” The former showcases its dexterity with a guitar: the distinctly Spanish-sounding rhythmic acoustic strumming counters the occasional burst from his electric. The next track strips down a theme similar to that of “Milton Road,” and with Valtysdóttir’s breathy exhales creates a one minute and 20-second track that seems to be a natural progression despite being entirely different in tone.

Obrigado Saudade is a constantly enjoyable solid album with perhaps not enough defining moments. It strongly suggests that Mice Parade is on the verge of creating an outstanding album, though this one is not quite it. Certainly there is an abundance of inventiveness and creativity. While sometimes reminiscent of worthwhile material with which we are already familiar, it is sufficiently progressive so as to never seem derivative. Though this is definitely a very worthwhile record, it seems more suited to a live medium, which is convenient because Mice Parade will be playing with HiM and Mileece this Friday at Cowboy Monkey. Pierce will be playing with a full band, including Valtysdóttir, Dylan Christy of Dylan Group and Doug Scharin of HiM (who also appears on the album). He will also appear as part of HiM’s lineup.

MUSIC REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unlistenable

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WE LOVE DEVO BEYOND “WHIP IT” | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

buzz

buzz

I believe in a thing called Capri-Sun

MondayFeb16

Love currently trailing fruit punch flavor by 13 percent in recent polls

Jazz Jam: ParaDocs – The Iron Post, 7:30pm, TBA Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. and Mike Ingram – Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $2

MENDOZA MUSIC LINE

BY SETH FEIN | STAFF WRITER

A

ccording to our “beloved” 107.1 The Planet, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness is your favorite song. Look, I understand. It has all the elements of a hit: easy chord progression, solid rhythm, good hook, lewd guitar solo. The presumably male voice is intriguing. Either he is a graduate of the Winger school of music, or he is struggling after a botched hernia job. Whatever it is, he can just plain hit notes that make Robert Plant hang his head in shame. The song is good, and while I do not rock it at home or spin it when I DJ, I don’t turn it off on the rare chance that I am tuned to the Planet. It’s quality music and I must give props to The Darkness.

But I think what does it for me the most, especially at this time of year, is the theme of the song. It is a simple and sappy premise, with almost zero originality whatsoever, and it states something everyone in the world has had to believe at some point in their lives.

That, my friends, is courageous by default.

This is a song that very well could have been

left for dead in the saturated world of rock but instead, these British bastards are working on a collaboration with the king of sap, Neil Diamond. The song has made them bona fide rock stars. There is even a “white label” house remix circulating faster than most of the blood in Dubya’s brain.

Now I have never been big on Valentine’s Day. As a young rebellious liberal, my American government teacher at Urbana High School informed me that the holiday was merely a corporate scheme aimed at the American consumer in order to fill the void left by the lull in spending between Christmas and Mother’s Day. And in my hazy potinduced state of mind, I believed her. The requirement to spend money on a specific day to show your significant other you love them is a bit ridiculous. For me, when in love, I try to make every day special in some capacity. I come from the school of thought that says “Here are flowers, for no other reason except that it’s Tuesday, and I love you.”

Valentine’s Day is a sham.

Love, however, is not.

Love. It’s an interesting word, if you think about it. Because I love all kinds of things. I

The Hurly-Burly Sifting through the commotion and crap of music culture Hometown heroes American Minor will play the South by Southwest music festival. The band will be rocking it out at the Hard Rock Cafe in Austin March 18. Good luck, guys.

The Pixies have officially announced dates for their warm-up tour of North America before their appearance at the Coachella festival May 1. They’ll be taking a few dates in the U.S. and all over Canada. Nowhere in the Midwest, though. Damn it. They’ve also announced plans to release a best of compilation and live DVD of concert footage.

Due May 4 through Astralwerks is the new album by The Beta Band. The follow-up to 2001’s Hotshots is titled Heroes and Zeroes and was produced by Nigel Godrich of Radiohead and Beck fame. There are also plans to release a DVD of films for each track of the album.

The Decemberists will be touring North America through April, playing a few dates with the Walkmen as well as Tom Heinl and Clearlake. Their new EP The Tain, based on the Irish epic poem of the same name, is slated for a Feb. 24 release.

U2 will go into the studio next week to record the follow-up to All That You Can’t Leave Behind. The new album will be produced by the famed Steve Lillywhite, who crafted U2’s early sound as the board man on albums like Boy and October, but has not produced a U2 album in its entirety since 1983’s War.

What the hell?

Moment of the week Nu-Metal tools Godsmack are set to release an all-acoustic album entitled The Other Side, not to be confused with the Dylan album. The album is set to include three new cuts and acoustic versions of such unfortunate radio staples as “Serenity” and “Voodoo.” For those of you who missed it the first time, let me reiterate that Godsmack are releasing an acoustic album. A CSNY-style album involving members of Staind, Disturbed, and Slipknot tentatively dubbed The Poop Metal All-Stars has yet to be confirmed.

love God and theology. I love my family and my cats. I love my record player and my vinyl.

I love cigarettes and Jager Bombs. I love my job and my band. I love XTC and Tears For Fears.

I love Seinfeld and Capri-Sun. I really do. I love these things.

So when I start thinking about the terms of love for a woman, it becomes quite confusing.

Sometimes I think it’s easier for me to love Capri-Sun than a woman. I mean, when I think about it, at the moments where I feel the most frustrated, Capri-Sun never argues with me when I want to put my straw into it and take a drink, does it? Plus, it’s a damn tasty beverage.

But naturally, I always come back to the idea that I really do believe in a thing called love.

With a woman, that is. Despite my futile attempts to make another person happy through impulsive, overbearing, hopelessly romantic behavior, I really do believe that love exists and that all human beings, regardless of what gender they choose to partner up with, are worthy of love and marriage.

Frank Zappa once wrote in Act III of “Joe’s Garage” that “information is not knowledge.

Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love.

TopFive

Love is not music. MUSIC is the best.”

And I tend to agree with him. Music will always embrace us, rather than throw us away.

Music is always there to keep our stress levels low. Music always says what we want it to say.

But most importantly, music always provides us with hope. And I think that is what The Darkness is trying to get across in their song.

And hope is a great thing. It may be the best thing we have in this world.

I am hopeful for many things this Valentine’s Day. I hope that I can be a better listener, to music and to people. I hope to fall in love with my instrument again (That one’s for you, Erin). I hope that I can learn how to be more patient in the future, with my band and with the woman I love. I hope that, simply stated, I can be a better person.

I also hope that Meijer has another sale on Capri-Sun soon, because God knows I am going to need it. buzz Seth Fein is from Urbana. He is a member of Orphans of Absinthe Blind and has recently come to the conclusion that the key to a good life is simply a matter of laughing at your own mistakes. He can be reached at sethfein@readbuzz.com

1. Devo - Hell yes, my friends! Kneel before the awe-inspiring greatness that is Devo.

Average comment about Devo goes as follows: “Oh yeah, the dudes who did ‘Whip It.’ They wore funny hats.” They deserve more credit. Devo was art-punk before art-punk was art-punk, and always much funnier and more rooted in pop than their dour British counterparts. They did it all: robot blues, synth dirge, computer pop, all while rockin’ like the Dickens. Neil Young liked ‘em. All hail Devo.

2. Giant Sand - For the better part of two decades, this outfit has been churning out some of the best indie rock albums ever and getting squat for press.They began as a whirlwind of loud, angular Crazy Horse rock and eventually evolved into the Arizona noir/country/folk of their later albums.The rhythm section double-times it as the acclaimed instrmental outfit Calexico. Still, they’re never the same without the dazzling, witty prose and off-the-cuff genius of Giant Sand shaman and mastermind, Howe Gelb.

3. Silver Jews - Mostly, these fellows are known as also-rans in the saga of Pavement. David Berman formed this noisy, pseudo-country band with Stephen Malkmus when they were both guards at an art museum. Gradually though, the band, composed of a mostly revolving cast of musicians, became an outlet for Berman’s brilliant songwriting and battered, off-kilter folk songs, eventually crafting albums that were (gasp!) as good as Pavement albums.They lay claim to a lot of accomplishments including the funniest song about Jesus ever,”Rebel Jew.” 4. The Left Banke - Think ‘60s. Think gorgeous orchestral pop. Beatles, Beach Boys, Love, right? Left Banke? Who the hell are they? Ah, but they should all be in the same thought. On the strength of two albums, the Left Banke patented a gorgeous form of what they dubbed “Baroque and Roll,”which sounds incredibly pretentious, but

LIVE MUSIC

DJ 2ON2OUT – Barfly, 9pm, free UC Hip Hop presents Chill in the Grill – Canopy Club, 10pm, free DJ Betty Rocker – indie rock – Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, free

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Community Drum Circle – Ten Thousand Villages, 7-9pm, free "G" Force Karaoke – Kam's, 10pm-2am “Case of the Mondays” w/ DJ Mertz & DJ Bozak – Nargile, 10pm, free

COMEDY DeBono – improv comedy – Courtyard Cafe, 910pm, free

TuesdayFeb17 LIVE MUSIC Open Jam Mic hosted by Openingbands.com and Mike Pomeroy featuring Pomeroy – Canopy Club, 10pm, $2 Dula Films Benefit: Sick Day, Mike Ingram, Nadafinga – Nargile, 10pm, $5 Adam Wolf and Jess Greenlee – acoustic rock – Tommy G’s, 10pm, free

DJ DJ Resonate – hip hop – Barfly, 9pm, free NOX: DJ’s ZoZo, Kannibal and Rickbats – goth & industrial – Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ Donovan Finn – early indie & garage – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

COMEDY

Underrated Bands

Spicy Clamato – improv comedy – Courtyard Cafe, 9-10pm, free

it worked and beautifully so. Propulsive rock rhythms and fuzzed-out guitar coated in strings, horns, killer harmonies and Michael Brown’s glorious quavering voice.

5. The dB’s - One of a slew of great guitar bands outta Georgia in the ‘80s, these guys were the first and possibly the best.

In 1981 the brainy, Big Star-inspired rock of power pop stalwarts Chris Stamey and Peter Holsapple should have been what everyone was groovin’on but due to everpresent label troubles and the lack of the indie-rock support system which would propel later bands, the dB’s were relegated to the dustbins of history. Still,“Black and White” ranks as one of the best power-pop songs ever, so a revival might be around the corner.

Next week: Top five geeks of rock What’s yours? e-mail us at music@readbuzz.com

CHARTS PARASOL RECORDS’ TOP 10 SELLERS 1. Echo & The Bunnymen - Ocean Rain (Rhino) 2. Various - Lost in Translation - Original Soundtrack (Emperor Norton) 3. Camera Obscura - Underachievers Please Try Hard (Merge) 4. The Concretes - The Concretes (Licking Fingers) 5. Moonbabies - The Orange Billboard (Hidden Agenda) 6. M83 - Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts (Gooom Disques) 7. Whirlaway - Pompano (Whirlaway Music) 8. Elbow - Cast of Thousands (V2) 9. The Mountain Goats - We Shall All Be Healed (4AD) 10. The Walkmen - Bows and Arrows (Record Collection)

calendar

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

DANCING Latin Dance Night – McKinley Foundation, Westminster Hall, 9:45pm, $1

WednesdayFeb18 LIVE MUSIC Cerulean City – The Iron Post, 9:30pm, TBA Openingbands.com Showcase: At Knifepoint, Redwalls, Rollercoaster Club – Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Kilborn Alley – blues – Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover Adam Wolf and Jess Greenlee – acoustic rock – JuJu’s in Bloomington, 9pm, free X-Krush – Joe’s Brewery, TBA The Suicide Girls Live Burlesque Tour w/ live bands Bloom and So Many Dynamos – Highdive, 10pm, $10

DJ Chef Ra – roots/rock/reggae – Barfly, 9pm, free d-LO and Spinnerty – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $1 DJ Boardwalk – Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $1 Dream Sequence – Caffe Paradiso, 10pm-12am, free “La Femme Confident” w/ DJ Aquanet & Queen Betsy – Nargile, 10pm, free

MUSIC PERFORMANCE UI Wind Symphony and UI Symphonic Band I – The top ensembles of the School of Music Band Division premiere Stephen Taylor's The Surface of Last Scattering. Also on the program is the Concerto for Bassoon by Jacob. Foellinger Great Hall, 7:30pm. Tickets: $5, sc $4, stu $2. For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

"G" Force Karaoke – Elmers Club 45, 7-11pm

SPOKEN WORD Dana Roeser – The Teller's Art featured poet – Roeser is the author of Beautiful Motion, forthcoming from Northeastern University Press in 2004 as the winner of the Samuel French Morse Prize. Her poems have appeared, or will soon appear in Another Chicago Magazine, Indiana Review, The Iowa Review, and others. Verde Gallery and Verdant Coffee & News, 8pm, free.

ON STAGE Twelfth Night – This Shakespeare comedy explores love in almost all of its guises, from crushes and love-sick infatuations to deep commitment and gender-bending erotic heat. This production takes a modern look at a comic classic, drawing on contemporary pop culture and music to portray characters crazy in love and crazy in grief. Studio Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex tickets: $12, sc & stu $11, UI & yth $6. Single tickets: $13, sc & stu $12, UI & yth $7.

For more information, go to www.krannertcenter.com.

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Sweeney Todd

C-UVENUES Assembly Hall First & Florida, Champaign, 333-5000 American Legion Post 24 705 W Bloomington Rd, Champaign, 356-5144 American Legion Post 71 107 N Broadway, Urbana, 367-3121 Barfly 120 N Neil, Champaign,352-9756 Barnes and Noble 51 E Marketview, Champaign, 355-2045 Boltini Lounge 211 N Neil, Champaign, 378-8001 Borders Books & Music 802 W Town Ctr, Champaign, 3519011 The Brass Rail 15 E University, Champaign, 352-7512 Canopy Club (Garden Grill) 708 S Goodwin, Urbana, 367-3140 Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana C.O. Daniels 608 E Daniel, Champaign, 337-7411 Cosmopolitan Club 307 E John, Champaign, 367-3079 Courtyard Cafe Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana, 333-4666 Cowboy Monkey 6 Taylor St, Champaign, 398-2688 Clybourne 706 S Sixth, Champaign, 383-1008 Curtis Orchard 3902 S Duncan Rd, Champaign, 359-5565 D.R. Diggers 604 S Country Fair Dr, Champaign, 356-0888 Elmer’s Club 45 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana, 344-3101 Embassy Tavern & Grill 114 S Race, Urbana, 384-9526 Esquire Lounge 106 N Walnut, Champaign, 398-5858 Fallon’s Ice House 703 N Prospect, Champaign, 398-5760 Fat City Saloon 505 S Chestnut, Champaign, 356-7100 The Great Impasta 114 W Church, Champaign, 359-7377 G.T.’s Western Bowl Francis Dr, Champaign, 359-1678 The Highdive 51 Main, Champaign, 359-4444 Huber’s 1312 W Church, Champaign, 352-0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation 610 E Springfield, Champaign, 352-8721 Independent Media Center 218 W Main St, Urbana, 344-8820 The Iron Post 120 S Race, Urbana, 337-7678 Joe’s Brewery 706 S Fifth, Champaign, 384-1790 Kam’s 618 E Daniel, Champaign, 328-1605 Krannert Art Museum 500 E Peabody, Champaign, 333-1861 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 500 S Goodwin, Urbana,Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 W Nevada, Urbana, 333-4950 Lava 1906 W Bradley, Champaign, 352-8714 Legends Bar & Grill 522 E Green, Champaign, 355-7674 Les’s Lounge 403 N Coler, Urbana, 328-4000 Lincoln Castle 209 S Broadway, Urbana, 344-7720 Lowe’s Big Barrel & Summer Club 14 N Hazel, Danville, 4428090 Malibu Bay Lounge North Route 45, Urbana, 328-7415 Mike n’ Molly’s 105 N Market, Champaign, 355-1236 Mulligan’s 604 N Cunningham, Urbana, 367-5888 Murphy’s 604 E Green, Champaign, 352-7275 Nargile 207 W Clark St, Champaign Neil Street Pub 1505 N Neil, Champaign, 359-1601 Boardman’s Art Theater 126 W Church, Champaign, 3510068 The Office 214 W Main, Urbana, 344-7608 Parkland College 2400 W Bradley, Champaign, 351-2528 Phoenix 215 S Neil, Champaign, 355-7866 Pia’s of Rantoul Route 136 E, Rantoul, 893-8244 Pink House Routes 49 & 150, Ogden, 582-9997 The Rainbow Coffeehouse 1203 W Green, Urbana, 766-9500 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana, 344-1176 Rose Bowl Tavern 106 N Race, Urbana, 367-7031 Springer Cultural Center 301 N Randolph, Champaign, 3551406 Spurlock Museum 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 The Station Theatre 223 N Broadway, Urbana, 384-4000 Strawberry Fields Cafe 306 W Springfield, Urbana, 328-1655 Sweet Betsy's 805 S Philo Rd, Urbana Ten Thousand Villages 105 N Walnut, Champaign, 352-8938 TK Wendl’s 1901 S Highcross Rd, Urbana, 255-5328 Tommy G’s 123 S Mattis Ave, Country Fair Shopping Center, 359-2177 Tonic 619 S Wright, Champaign, 356-6768 Two Main 2 Main, Champaign, 359-3148 University YMCA 1001 S Wright, Champaign, 344-0721 Verde/Verdant 17 E Taylor St, Champaign, 366-3204 Virginia Theatre 203 W Park Ave, Champaign, 356-9053 White Horse Inn 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign, 352-5945 Zorba’s 627 E Green, Champaign

School of Music Opera Series

The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

A Musical Thriller

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim Book by Hugh Wheeler From an adaptation by Christopher Bond

Feb 20-29 Eduardo Diazmuñoz, conductor Stephen Fiol, director Sara Lampert Hoover, associate director

Mysteryand comedy, loveand hate, beautiful melody and piercing dissonance unite in this compelling story of passions, a Stephen Sondheim

Tony Award-winning musical.

KrannertCenter.com 217/333-6280

Supported in part by the Frances P. Rohlen Visiting Artists Fund/College of Fine and Applied Arts and IOTE, Illinois Opera Theatre Enthusiasts

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CHICAGOSHOWS FEBRUARY 2/12 Josh Groban @ Rosemont Theatre 2/13 Cyndi Lauper @ Cadillac Palace 2/13 Kate & Anna McGarrigle @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/13 Mindy Smith @ Schubas 2/13 Deke Dickerson @ Fitzgerald’s 2/14 Azita, Mark Shippy @ Viaduct Theater 2/14 Rick Braun @ Chicago Theatre 2/14 Pam Tillis & Juice Newton @ the Hemmens 2/14 Him @ Empty Bottle 2/14 Numbers @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 2/14 John Ondrasik @ Schubas 2/14 Colin Hay @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/15 B2K @ Chicago Theatre 2/16 Paco de Lucia @ Symphony Center 2/18 Cecilia Bartoli @ Symphony Center 2/18 Sarah Brightman @ Allstate Arena 2/19 Enrique Iglesias @ Arie Crown Theatre 2/19 DJ Spooky @ Empty Bottle 2/19 Howie Day @ Congress Theater 2/20 Big Sandy & His Fly Rite Boys @ FitzGerald’s 2/20 Habib Koite @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/20 Delbert McClinton @ House of Blues 2/20 Brooks & Dunn @ NIU Convocation Center 2/20 From Autumn to Ashes @ Metro 2/21 Big Head Todd & The Monsters @ Riviera, 18+ 2/21 Bright Eyes, Jim James, M. Ward @ Vic 2/21 Escape from Earth @ Metro 2/21 Jake Fairley @ Empty Bottle 2/21 Fenians @ Abbey Pub 2/21 Robben Ford @ Martyrs’ 2/21 Carrie Newcomer @ Schubas 2/21 David Wilcox @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/21 Sergio Mendes @ the Hemmens 2/22 Jake Fairley @ Empty Bottle 2/22 Dead to Fall @ Metro 2/24 Deep Purple @ Chicago Theatre 2/25 Mary Timony @ Schubas 2/26 Alaska @ Bottom Lounge, 18+ 2/26 Afrodisiacs @ House of Blues, 18+ 2/26 Bobby Conn & The Glass Gypsies @ Empty Bottle 2/26 Asleep at the Wheel @ Fitzgerald’s 2/26-27 Gossip @ Bottom Lounge, 2/26 all ages 2/27 Junior Brown @ Subterranean 2/27 Boris Grebenshikov & Aquarium @ Martyrs 2/27 John Hammond, Jr. @ Old Town School of Folk Music 2/27 Sting @ Rosemont Theatre 2/27 Peter Case @ Schubas 2/27 Exo @ Congress Theater, 18+ 2/28 Erykah Badu @ Auditorium Theatre 2/28 Flying Luttenbachers @ Fireside Bowl 2/28 Further Seems Forever @ Metro 2/29 Academy @ Metro 2/29 Cannibal Corpse @ House of Blues 2/29 Elefant @ Double Door 2/29 Carbon Leaf @ Schubas 2/29 Ellis Marsalis Trio @ Old Town School of Folk Music

MARCH 3/1 Elvis Costello & Stevie Nieve @ Oriental Theatre 3/2 Yeah Yeah Yeahs @ Metro 3/3 Red Stick Ramblers @ FitzGerald’s 3/4 Jazzanova @ Smart Bar 3/4 Kraig Jarret Johnson & The Program @ Schubas 3/4-5 Neil Young & Crazy Horse @ Rosemont Theatre 3/5 Clarence Clemons & The Temple of Soul @ Joe’s 3/5 Faun Fables @ Schubas 3/5 British Sea Power @ Empty Bottle 3/5 Richard Buckner @ Schubas 3/5 Chieftans @ Symphony Center 3/5 Bob Dylan @ Aragon Ballroom 3/5 Forty Piece Choir @ Metro, 18+ 3/5 Galactic @ Vic, 18+ 3/5 Luomo @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 3/5 Edwin McCain @ House of Blues, 18+ 3/6 Liftpoint @ Metro 3/6 Crossing @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/7 Get Up Kids @ Metro 3/7 Rhonda Vincent @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/10 Tara Jane O’Neil @ Gunther Murphy’s 3/11 Keb’ Mo’ @ House of Blues, 18+ 3/11 Walkmen @ Metro, 18+ 3/12 DJ SS, Grooverider, Shy FX, Twisted Individual @ Metro, 18+ 3/12 Church @ House of Blues 3/12 Antigone Rising @ Schubas 3/12 Futureman & The Isiah Williams Project @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/12 Kid Rock @ Allstate Arena 3/12 Michael Mayer, Superpitcher @ Smart Bar

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

3/12 Liz Phair @ Vic 3/12 Von Bondies @ Double Door 3/13 Paul Kelly @ Double Door 3/13 Sage Francis, Joe Beats, Grand Buffet @ Logan Square Auditorium 3/13 Mavericks @ Park West 3/13 Grant Lee Phillips @ Abbey Pub 3/13 Saw Doctors @ Vic 3/13 Shipping News @ Subterranean 3/14 Liz Phair @ Vic 3/15 Cooper Temple Clause @ Double Door 3/17 Jerry Joseph & The Jackmormons @ Schubas 3/17 Bogdan Raczynski @ Empty Bottle 3/18-19 Melissa Etheridge @ House of Blues 3/19 Johnny Dowd @ Subterranean 3/19 Dream Theater @ Riviera 3/19 Britney Spears, Kelis @ Allstate Arena 3/19 Starlight Mints @ Abbey Pub 3/20 Jewel @ Star Plaza 3/20 Liars, Young People @ Logan Square Auditorium 3/20 Macabre @ Oasis 160 3/21 Amon Tobin, Kid Koala @ Metro, 18+ 3/22 Clay Aiken, Kelly Clarkson @ United Center 3/23 Ted Leo/Pharmacists @ Logan Square Auditorium 3/23 Three Days Grace @ Metro 3/24 12 Stones, Skillet, Pillar, Grits, Big Dismal @ House of Blues 3/26 Newsboys, Rebecca St. James @ UIC Pavilion 3/26 American Music Club @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/26 Dolly Varden @ Subterranean 3/26 Al Green @ House of Blues 3/26 Great Big Sea @ Metro, 18+ 3/26 Franz Ferdinand @ Empty Bottle 3/26 Proclaimers @ Abbey Pub 3/26 Slip @ Double Door 3/26 Southern Culture on the Skids @ FitzGerald’s 3/26 TV On the Radio @ Empty Bottle 3/27 Campbell Brothers, Calvin Cooke @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/28 Doc Watson @ Old Town School of Folk Music

Join Artists and Workshops at Gallery Virtu – The artist-owned cooperative Gallery Virtu invites applications from area artists. The gallery offers workshops for adults, teens and children in knitting, embroidery, photography, jewelry making, printmaking, papermaking, bookbinding and ribbon flowers. The gallery also offers original works by the members including jewelry, pottery, collages, sculptures, journals, hats, handbags and other textiles. Gallery Virtu, 220 W Washington in Monticello. Thu 12-4pm, Fri 12-8pm, Sat 10am6pm. For more information, call 762-7790, visit www.galleryvirtu.org or e-mail workshops@galleryvirtu.org.

CHICAGOVENUES

Creation Art Studios – Featuring original art by students and members of the studio. 1102 E Washington St in Urbana. Mon-Fri 3-5:30pm, Sat 14pm and other scheduled studio times. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955.

Abbey Pub 3420 W Grace, Chicago, (773) 478-4408 Allstate Arena 6920 N Mannheim Rd, Rosemont, (847) 6356601 Aragon 1106 W Lawrence, Chicago, (773) 561-9500 Arie Crown Theater 2301 S Lake Shore Dr, Chicago, (312) 7916190 Bottom Lounge 3206 N Wilton, Chicago, (773) 975-0505 Chicago Theatre 175 N State St, Chicago, (312) 443-1130 Congress Theatre 2135 N Milwaukee, Chicago, (312) 923-2000 Double Door 1572 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago, (773) 489-3160 Elbo Room 2871 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 549-5549 Empty Bottle 1035 N Western Ave, Chicago, (773) 276-3600 Fireside Bowl 2648 W Fullerton Ave, Chicago, (773) 486-2700 House of Blues 329 N Dearborn, Chicago, (312) 923-2000 Martyrs' 3855 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 404-9494 Metro/Smart Bar 3730 N Clark St, Chicago, (773) 549-0203 Old Town School of Folk Music 4544 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 728-6000 Park West 322 W Armitage, Chicago, (773) 929-5959 Riviera Theatre 4746 N Racine, Chicago, (773) 275-6800 Rosemont Theatre 5400 N River Rd, Rosemont, (847) 671-5100 Schubas 3159 N Southport, Chicago, (773) 525-2508 UIC Pavilion 525 S Racine, Chicago, (312) 413-5700 Vic Theatre 3145 N Sheffield, Chicago, (773) 472-0449

ART NOTICES Jewelry Making Demonstration – Ben Yellowhorse demonstrates the art of jewelry making. Verde Gallery, 17 E Taylor St in Champaign. Sat, 2pm. For more information, call 366-3204.

Creation Art Studios: Art Classes for Children and Adults – All classes use the spontaneous art process to demonstrate technical instruction and the exploration of materials. Personal interests, ideas, dreams and more are expressed and developed through collage and assemblage art, drawing, painting, sculpture and ceramics. CPDU's offered. Creation Art Studios, 1102 E Washington in Urbana. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955 or go to www.creationartstudios.com.

Collage for the Soul – Learn the many aspects of collage techniques while engaging your creativity and exploring your mind and heart. Scrapbookers, it’s time to branch out from craft to art! Sandra Ahten will teach the class, in which all materials will be provided. High Cross Studio, 1101 N High Cross Rd in Urbana. Feb 17- Mar 16, Tue 7-9pm.

Other drawing and painting classes are also offered. For more information, call 367-6345 or go to www.spiritofsandra.com.

ART EXHIBITS & GALLERIES Boneyard Pottery – Ceramic Art by Michael Schwegmann and others. 403 Water St in Champaign. Tue-Sat 11am-5pm. 355-5610.

Broken Oak Gallery – Local and national artists, original art including photography, watercolors, pottery, oil paintings, colored pencil, and woodturning. Refreshments served by the garden all day Saturday. 1865 N 1225 E Rd in White Heath.

Thu-Sat 10am-4pm. 762-4907.

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buzz

Old Vic Art Gallery – Fine and original art, hand signed, limited edition prints, works by local artists, art restoration, custom framing, and periodic shows by local artists. 11 E University in Champaign. Mon-Thu 11am-5:30pm, Sat 11am4:30pm. 355-8338.

Prairie Boatworks Gallery – Beautifully hand-crafted gift items and unique Valentine’s Day cards.

Also, over 35 regional artist to choose from. 407 E Main St in Mahomet. Tue, Fri, Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 12-4pm. 586-6776. For more information, contact Mary at 356-8228 or tangoradesigns@aol.com.

BY STEVE KLINE | STAFF WRITER

Steeple Gallery – Vintage botanical and bird prints, antiques and framed limited edition prints. 102 E Lafayette St in Monticello. Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. www.steeplegallery.com. 762-2924.

Warning: Unless handled by the most professional writers, some subjects are impossible to write about without a bit of crassness here and there. Please know that I have made absolutely no attempt to stay professional. By now I hope you expect that. There are spots of opinion scattered in this story; no news story is completely unbiased. So I’m not ashamed to admit my own bias. For example, if you start reading a story containing the words “suicide” and “burlesque” in the headline and write to tell me how offended you feel, then you’re a moron. I don’t like Will & Grace, and instead of writing NBC about how bad it is, I don’t watch it.

Verde Gallery – The work of local artist Sylvia Arnstein will be on display in the halls and café. 17 E Taylor St in Champaign. Cafe: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm. Gallery: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

Ziemer Gallery – Original paintings and limited edition prints by Larry Ziemer. Pottery, weavings, wood turning and glass works by other artists.

Gallery visitors are welcome to sit, relax, listen to the music and just enjoy being surrounded by art.

210 W Washington in Monticello. Tue 10am-8pm, Wed-Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. www.ziemergallery.com. 762-9786.

You might consider their lives in your hands, or a future hell in theirs.

SuicideGirls.com—a punk, post-punk, punk-pop, industrial, post-industrial pop, post-industrial punk, indie, post-pop-preindie, indie-emo, emo, screamo, emo-but-notemo-in-that-DashboardConfessional-sense-butmelodic, I-don’t-really-want-to-defineour-band-in-agenre-but-we’reinfluenced-byThe-Little Rascalsand-Fugazi pinup porn site—is touring the

Café Kopi – “Digital Evolutions,” photographs by John Sfondilias on display through February. 109 N Walnut in Champaign. Mon-Thu 7am-11pm, Fri-Sat 7am-12pm, Sun 11am-8pm. 359-4266.

Country in the City – Antiques, Architectural, Gardening and Home Accessories. Custom designing available. 1104 E Washington St in Urbana. ThuSat 10am-5pm. 367-2367.

Framer's Market – Frame designers since 1981.

Ongoing work from local artists on display. 807 W Springfield Ave in Champaign. Tue-Fri 9:30am5:30pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 351-7020.

Furniture Lounge – Specializing in mid-century modern furniture from the 1920s to the 1980s – retro, Danish modern, lighting, vintage stereo equipment and vinyl records. 9 E University in Champaign. Sun-Tues 12-4:30pm, Wed-Sat 115:30pm. 352-5150.

Glass FX – New and Antique Stained Glass Windows, Lamps and unique glass gifts. Gallery is free and open to the public. Interested in learning the art of Stained Glass? Beginning, intermediate and advanced stained glass classes offered. 202 S First St in Champaign. Mon-Thu 10am-5:30pm, Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 9am-4pm. www.glassfx.com. 3590048.

Griggs Street Potters – Handmade functional and decorative pottery. 305 W Grigg St in Urbana. MonFri 11am-4pm, or call for appointment. 344-8546.

Hill Street Gallery Inc. – Oil and watercolor paintings, hand painted T-shirts, handmade jewelry. 703 W Hill in Champaign. Sat 12-5pm or by appointment during the week. 359-0675.

Larry Kanfer Gallery Recent additions to the Gift Collection for Valentines – Limited and open edition photographs by Larry Kanfer, internationally acclaimed artist. Gallery features artwork from the University of Illinois, Prairiescapes, Cityscapes, European, Northwoods, and Coast to Coast Collections. Personalized gift certificates are available. 2503 S Neil in Champaign. Mon-Sat 10am5:30pm. www.kanfer.com. 398-2000.

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music

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | OH, THAT STEVE . . .

LaPayne Photography – Specializes in panoramic photography up to 6 feet long of different subjects including sporting events, city skylines, national parks and University of Illinois scenes. 816 Dennison Dr in Champaign. Mon-Fri 9am-4pm and by appointment. 356-8994.

PHOTOS | COURTESY OF SUICIDEGIRLS.COM

021204buzz0916

nation with its own burlesque show.

“Mmm ... it’s early,” Siren, 26, quietly says, “... I had a long night. Could you call me back in an hour?” Siren, a Suicide Girl model, photographer and burlesque manager is another victim of, “Get them to promise an interview before they’re able to form conscious thoughts.” Yay, journalism.

This gives us time to worry about the Suicide Girls. After all, unless it’s followed by “counseling,” having the word “suicide” anywhere on a job description is an obvious cry for help. On a blatancy scale, it’s up there with swallowing 20 Advils in a crowded room.

But fear not. If you notice the warning signs in time and pay attention to the person (or people), you might avert the danger. Not everyone knows you should keep a close eye on someone in need and we can’t take risks here. The girls’ best option is to go on a nationwide tour and dance to punk rock music in the least amount of clothes as is legal. It’s the safest thing to do.

This sounds like a soft-core Silver Bullet-ish show. Don’t think Anna Nicole or Hugh Hefner’s seven interchangeable girlfriends, think the Uma Thurman-ish woman hanging outside the English building you talked to once.

Remember? You pretended to love The Smiths and she called you out after a five-minute quiz on your favorite Smiths’ “LP.” Now you just shyly smile in her direction and quickly pass, making up new and wonderful character traits each time. I’ll bet she plays guitar and doesn’t cling. I’ll bet she talks about real issues, not gossip. She probably loves Old Style and tequila. She probably laughs at bad poetry instead of writing it.

Damn it! The perfect girl is right there and I don’t know how to approach her! If I only studied my Brian Eno trivia more closely. Sigh.

Wait ... what? Oh yeah, imagine that hypothetical girl dancing on stage wearing nothing but duct tape. I’ll give you a few moments.

The Suicide Girls Burlesque Tour has garnered much attention for its do-it-yourself attitude, which included a segment on HBO’s Real Sex. “We start it out like a traditional burlesque show but go into a much more updated punk rock version,” Siren said. Music segues from traditional (“Hey, big spender!”) with accompanied dancing to counter-culture punk (“The term code blue makes me turn red!”) and a stage show. She didn’t give away much, but whipped cream and beer are somehow involved.

“When we first performed, we tried different

things. Now, we have a solid show with what works.” It’s not just a sexy show for guys, she said; there are plenty of women in the audience, too. More than half of SuicideGirls.com subscribers are women, according to Siren and a nifty fact sheet on the Web site.

“It’s not just a Web site for guys: Web boards, profiles and online journals make it a real community,” Siren said. Friendster with nipples?

“We look for people with strong identities and independence to model, not some cookie-cutter stereotypes.” Photo themes, costumes and amount of clothing are up to the model. Siren called the photos pinup pictures, not porn.

“Pinup is not hardcore—it’s more cutesy ... sexy.

It’s not just out there to get people off,” Siren said.

Think Marilyn Monroe in Playboy, not bodily fluids and wakka-chikka-wakka background music.

These are pretty much the naked girls next door. Instead of the typical big-bosomed— she’s ready to blow!—clone in an obviously cold studio, there are no airbrushes and the models are proportionate.

Truthfully, this frightens me a bit. Of course, it’s wonderfully healthy for a society to challenge literally impossible body types. I’m completely for this type of revolution sociologically, but not psychologically.

If cute girls with normal bodies suddenly realize they’re cute, then they’ll start to go after chiseled guys. There will never be a site called MasochistMales to challenge THOSE body types—well, there might be, but its audience would consist of middle-aged men with oddlytrimmed moustaches.

SuicideGirls.com helps in that it shows real women. But the breaking-the-mold body types are their own mold. There are some heavy girls, but heavy only to those who think Kate Winslet is heavy.

“We want to make sure they’ve thought about this and won’t regret it,” Siren said.

“We don’t want people to think, ‘I want to be cool, the Suicide Girls are cool. I’ll be a suicide girl to be cool.’ “ But this doesn’t just make me nervous because of a scrawny and selfish streak. When beautiful women with proportionate bodies go after guys who like to lift really heavy stuff as a hobby, women who have been going for the “anorexic with implants” look will follow suit.

Cosmopolitan will feature real people, and other people will chase after this. Imagine middle-aged women getting their chests liposuctioned and getting silicone implants near their stomachs for a cute little Buddha-belly.

When it becomes stylish, there will suddenly

be a “right” way to be imperfect, and Kam’s will overflow with eye studs and Converse shoes.

Waitresses will walk around with Zoloft shots. My God, if the bar is packed with hundreds of people, all of whom have at least 15 piercings, some prankster could throw a heavy duty magnet in the door and cause the largest campus bloodbath in American history!

Then, television will show thousands upon thousands of 19- to 24-year-olds mourning the lost and disfigured souls. Not only will these images sadden the American public, they will cause a horrible, horrible new trend in which everyone starts to go punk, goth, industrial, etc. They’ll think, “Hey, this saddens me. Those younger folks are all so sad and dressed in a sad way. I’ll dress like that to recapture my youth and then I’ll be ‘with it’ again!” The only people who won’t be affected will be the hippies, but that’s because they got their cable shut off.

So what will the punkers wear? Pink.

I hate pink. It’s gonna be hell. buzz The Suicide Girls Live Burlesque Tour will stop at Highdive Feb. 18. The opening acts are Bloom and So Many Dynamos. The show starts at 10 p.m. Tickets are $10.

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arts

HOPE IT’S NOT TOO BIG. | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

buzz

ARTIST’S CORNER

50% OFF ALL CLOTHING!

BY ERIN DEYOUNG | STAFF WRITER

J

essica Mullen is a third-year graphic design major at the University of Illinois. She also works as a student graphic designer at the UIUC Counseling Center. When she graduates, she has high hopes of escaping Central Illinois and moving to Scandinavia, or even better, to outer space, but says she will most likely end up in Chicago. As for her professional life, Mullen plans to obtain a career in design, web or illustration work for something she “believe(s) in and support(s)—a nonprofit organization, a school or a publication.� Though this career choice is quite honorable in nature, Mullen also has quite a sense of humor and says, “I would be quite content sitting in a dark room playing with Photoshop and never checking my mail or leaving my apartment again.� If you like her featured piece, check out her Web site (www.jessicamullen.com) for more of her work.

How would you describe graphic design to those who don’t know what it is?

Graphic design is communicating information in a succinct, creative manner with a goal of evoking thought and emotion.

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ART EXHIBITS – ON VIEW NOW “Distant Voices Nearer: A Celebration of American Indian Art� – Featuring paintings by DeHaven Solimon Chaffins, jewelry by Ben Yellowhorse, ceramic sculptures by Lynn Hone, ceramics by Laguna Potter and Michael Kanteena, pottery from Acoma and Mata Ortiz. On display at Verde Gallery through Mar 20. Opening reception for Chaffins and Yellowhouse Thur at 7pm. 17 E Taylor St in Champaign. Cafe: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm.

Gallery: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204. “Transitionsâ€? – Work from Nicole Cisne on display at Aroma CafĂŠ through Mar 21. Artist statement: “The vehicle for my artwork is the female nude.

The images created of the female nude have changed drastically through time. Looking back in art history you see women who by today’s standards would be considered ‘fat.’ Society and the fashion industry of today are the primary causes of an epidemic of eating disorders and false body images in many young women... Hopefully the viewer will see that the female figure is beautiful, no matter what size.� 118 N Neil in Champaign.

Open 7 days a week, 7am-Midnight. For more information, contact Amanda Bickle at 356-3200 or art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Jessica (above) spends her spare time with her cat. Illustrations for Edgar Allan Poe’s poem, “Eldorado� (below, left).

When did you become interested in graphic design?

I realized I just couldn’t pass (Calculus) 2 and dropped out of computer science after freshman year.

Good thing I picked graphic design, because it was like finding true love.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

I have craft time with friends, raise my kitties and snake, party like it’s 1999 and read in the bathtub.

Retro & Recycled Clothing for Men and Women

9 Taylor Downtown Champaign 355-WEED Mon-Sat 11-6 Sunday 1-5

calendar

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

“Picturing Performance: Japanese Theater Prints of the Utagawa School, 1790–1868� – The focus of artistic production in 18th and 19th century Japan (Edo period) was the world of entertainment. This exhibit captures a views of this world of illusion and fantasy (Ukiyo) through richly-colored and compositionally provocative woodblock prints know as Ukiyo-e. The prints in this exhibition give visitors a glimpse of Japanese art, dress and culture that flourished over 150 years ago. The exhibition is on view through Mar 21. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3. 333-1860.

“Bon Coiffure: Hair Signs from West Africa� – This exhibition offers viewers a glimpse into three different art forms: the art of African hair styling, African hair sign painting and African hairstyles in traditional masks and sculpture. In sub-Saharan Africa, la coiffure, i.e.“hairdressing,� is an art and a vocation. African hair designs, both aesthetic and symbolic, proclaim many things such as ethnic origin, gender, religious or political affiliation, social status, or even the profession of the wearer.

Hairdressers also hire artists to hand paint signs to advertise their skills and represent their repertoire of coiffures. Bon Coiffure is on view through Mar 21. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3. 333-1860. “Beyond East and West: Seven Transnational Artists� – Throughout history, various cultures have been lumped together into the broad categories “East� and “West� in order to distinguish an “us� from a “them,� according to art historian David O’Brien. The Krannert Museum has put together a traveling exhibition bringing together the work of seven major contemporary artists who share a connection to both worlds. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3. 333-1860.

Creation Art Studios – Artwork by instructors Jeannine Bestoso, Amy Richardson, and Shoshanna Bauer, and the studio’s friends and family. 1102 E Washington St in Urbana. Hours: Mon-Fri 35:30pm, Sat 1-4pm and other scheduled studio times. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955. “Whistler and Japonisme: Selections from the Permanent Collection� – Marking the 100th anniversary of James McNeill Whistler’s death, this exhibition highlights his works on paper and examines the influence that Japanese woodcuts had on his artistic technique. On display at Krannert Art Museum through Mar 28. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3.

333-1860.

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Generally, how would you describe your work?

I like to use icky bits and body parts and related things for illustration work. I suppose my style is generally very dirty and dark. Everything I’ve been doing lately is very influenced by illustrator Dave McKean and my typography professor Jennifer Gunji. I hate this and hope to cultivate my own style eventually.

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Why did you choose the piece that is being featured?

I created this piece for an image-making class. We were to graphically depict Edgar Allan Poe’s poem “Eldorado� in four panels. I’m really pleased with the way I interpreted the mood of the poem using completely unrelated imagery. This piece was sort of the beginning of my design “growth spurt� last semester, when I got really serious about my classes and design in general.

17

Introducing...

Midnight Movie SERIE S SERIE S

brought to you by

Boardman’s Art Theatre & buzz Boardman’s Art Theatre and buzz will be hosting special midnight screenings several times a month.

This Valentine’s Day weekend, whether on a date or just going solo, check out:

This musical tribute was filmed on November 29, 2002 to honor the one year anniversary of George Harrison’s death.

Includes performances

by Eric Clapton, Paul McCartney, Tom Petty and other famous artists.

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PHOTOS | CHRISTINE LITAS

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Feb. 13th & 14th at Boardman’s Art Theatre 126 W. Church St., Champaign 1-800-BEST-PLACE or 355-0068

18

2/11/04

5:42 PM

Page 1

calendar CONCERTS

Gospel Concert – This annual event features traditional and contemporary gospel praise and worship music. Parkland College Theatre. Feb 21, 710pm.

The Parkland Wind Ensemble and the Parkland Community Orchestra – The wind ensemble, conducted by Greg Grove, will include in its program "The Golden Years" by Leroy Anderson and "Montmartre March" by Haydn Wood. The orchestra, conducted by Jack Ranney, will perform "Il Re Pastore Overture" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart / Mueller and others. First Baptist Church of Champaign in Savoy. The show will be Mar 7 at 3pm.

Elysium on the Prairie, Live Action Roleplaying – Vampires stalk the city streets and struggle for dominance in a world of gothic horror. Create your own character and mingle with dozens of players who portray their own undead alter egos. Each session is another chapter in an ongoing story of triumph, tragedy and betrayal. Fridays,“Vampire: The Masquerade.” For more information, visit www2.uiuc.edu/ro/elysium/intro.html. Check site for location, 7pm.

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

Funfare – Come to The Phillips Recreation Center for Funfare Thur, 10:30-11am, presented by The Urbana Free Library Children’s Department. There will be stories, songs, puppets and films for children of all ages and their parent(s) or caregiver(s).

No registration is required for this drop-in program. For more information, call 367-4069.

Babies’ Lap Time – Babies and their parent(s) or caregiver(s) are invited to Phillips Recreation Center for Babies' Lap Time Tue from 10-10:30am, presented by The Urbana Free Library Children’s Department. This program of songs, stories and rhymes is for our youngest patrons, ages 6 to 24 months with an adult. No registration is required.

For more information, call 367-4069.

O Baby! – Lap-bouncing, nursery rhymes and music activities for infants with a caregiver. Champaign Public Library, main library. Mon 9:30-9:50am or 10:30-10:50am. No registration required. For more information, call 403-2030.

Tuesday Twos – Stories, songs and movement activities for 2-year-olds with a parent or grandparent.

Tue 9:30-9:50am or 10:30-10:50am. Champaign Public Library, main library. No registration required.

FILM

KnowZone – Homework help for school-aged children. Tue 4-5pm. Douglass Branch Library. No registration required.

The Year of Living Dangerously – Foreign correspondent Guy Hamilton (Mel Gibson) arrives in Jakarta in 1965 and finds himself covering the bloody Sukarno coup. His relationships with the local press corps, photographer and emerging activist Billy Kwan (Linda Hunt) and a British diplomat (Sigourney Weaver), lead to violent confrontations and hazy moral decisions amid the political turmoil of Indonesia. Krannert Art Museum, rm 62.

Feb 25, 5:30pm. Free and open to the public. For more information, contact IPRH at 244-3344 or www.iprh.uiuc.edu.

Ten Star All-Star Basketball Camp – Applications are now being evaluated for the camp. Boys and girls ages 10-19 are eligible. Players from 50 states and 11 countries attended the 2003 Camp. College basketball scholarships are possible for players selected to the All-American team. Camp locations include: Hickory, NC; Thousand Oaks, CA; Sterling, CO; Babson Park, FL; Atlanta, GA; Champaign, IL; Greencastle, IN; Atchison, KS; Baltimore, MD; Ysilanti, MI; Hamilton, NY; Bluffton, OH; Lock Haven, PA; Lebanon, TN; Commerce, TX; Blacksburg, VA; Poultney, VT; Olympia, WA and Beloit, WI. For a free brochure, call (704) 373-0873. Available 24 hours.

Telluride MountainFilm Tour – If you enjoy highcaliber films filled with the adrenaline-pumping excitement of outdoor extreme sports, intimate looks at real-life adventurers and experiencing films that will open your eyes, shock you and fill you with wonder, you are in luck. A selection of these award-winning films from Telluride, CO, will be showing at Savoy 16 Theatre. Mar 15, 7pm, $10.

Ticket proceeds are donated to the Campership Program, BSA. To buy tickets, go to Champaign Surplus or www.champaignsurplus.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS "Constitutionalism and Democracy in Afghanistan" – A Friday Forum with guest speaker Tom Ginsburg, a UIUC College of Law professor.

Lunch is available for $5.50. Latzer Hall. Fri, 12pm.

Brown v. Board Commemoration Speaker – James Anderson, author of The Education of Blacks in the South, 1860-1935 will be speaking. Lunch is available from the Thai Eatery. University YMCA. Thur, 12pm.

18th Annual Black Women's Achievement Dinner – The Black Women's Achievement Dinner celebrates the unique achievements of six women from the Champaign-Urbana African American community. The celebration will consist of a cultural marketplace, dinner, guest speaker Dr. Ollie Watts-Davis, with music provided by Chambana.

Hawthorne Suites in Champaign. Feb 20, 6-9pm.

Advance-only tickets: $35. For more information, call 344-0721.

15th Annual Clements Comedy Café – This show is a favorite of the Champaign area and stars comedian Tony Clements along with some very special guests. A portion of the proceeds is contributed to the Crisis Nursery of Champaign. Virginia Theatre.

Feb 21, 7:30pm. Tickets: $30, $25. For more information, call 356-9063.

18th Annual Daddy Daughter Dance – Dads and daughters, dance til dawn at the 18th Annual Daddy Daughter Dance. Refreshments, raffle prizes, and dancing are sure to please dads and daughters of all ages. Leonhard Recreation Center.

Feb 21, 6-8pm. Tickets: $20 per couple, $10 each additional. Tickets must be purchased by Feb 20.

For more information, call 398-2550.

“Pastoralized Identities, Global Nationalisms: Emerging Issues in Trans/National Social Movements” – a talk co-sponsored with Women and Gender in Global Perspectives, given by Kumi Silva, visiting instructor in the Department of English, UIUC. International Studies Building, rm 101. Mon, 12pm.

Center for Nanoscale Science and Technology Seminar Series – "The Ultimate Transistor: Is it the Silicon MOSFET?" Dr. Mark S. Lundstrom, Don and Carol Scifres, Distinguished Professor of Electrical & Computer Engineering, Birck Nanotechnology Center, Purdue University. Seminar will take place at the Coordinated Science Laboratory. Wed, 4pm.

★★★

Academic Challenge – Parkland College will host the regional competition for Academic Challenge.

Teams from eight area high schools will be tested in math, English, chemistry, physics, biology, engineering graphics and computer science. Parkland College gym. Fri, 9am-2pm.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Auditions – Sign up sheets will be available near 1201 Music Building on the days of the audition.

Thursday is the last night of auditions. Walk-ins are also availiable. Please bring a prepared vocal piece.

CD Player will be provided. 1201 Music Building.

Thur, 6-8pm.

February Blood Drives – Campus blood drives for this month are as follows: Tue – PAR Saunders Lounge 3-7pm; Wed – Daniels Hall Main Lounge 26pm; Feb 24 – LAR Main Lounge 2-6pm; Feb 25-27 – Illini Union room 314, 10am-4pm.

Kevin Hales' African Adventure – This event will include a presentation by Kevin Hales, Parkland history instructor, on his recent trip to Africa.

Refreshments will be included. Parkland College, rm D244. Mon, time TBA.

KIDS & FAMILY T.A.C.K. – The library’s Thursday Arts and Crafts for Kids program welcomes children to come make a craft. Douglass Branch Library, Conference Room.

Thu 4-5pm.

Baby Time – Come to the library for a half-hour of lap-bouncing, nursery rhymes, music activities and play time for your infants. Douglass Branch Library, meeting room. Thu 10:30-11am.

Family Fun Day Sunday in the Square – Every Sunday through Mar 27, enjoy interactive rides, including Bounce Houses, Screamer Slides and the Kid Wizard. There will also be food, shopping, games, miniature golf and more. Lincoln Square Mall. Sun 1-5pm. For more information, call the Urbana Business Association at 344-3872.

arts

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | KLAATU, BARRADA, NICTO.

bookreview

The Body Artist Don DeLillo

BY ZACH HENSEL | STAFF WRITER

I

n The Body Artist, Don DeLillo works with a level of maturity and sensibility beyond that displayed in his canonical works. Although lacking in the kind of lasting, ironic imagery that characterizes many of his novels, The Body Artist masterfully conveys the hectic, impermanent nature of contemporary life and suggests an urgency to make some sense of it all.

It opens with artists Lauren Hartke and Rey Robles sitting down to breakfast, immediately setting the novel’s tone as one of perceptions: “I want to say something but what.”

She ran water from the tap and seemed to notice. It was the first time she’d ever noticed this.

“About the house. This is what it is,” he said.

“Something I meant to tell you.”

DeLillo defines his characters primarily by what they notice and what they choose to internalize. Glimpses of disjointed dialogue appear, but they rarely culminate in any fashion fit to propel the narrative. What results is a novel of fleeting perceptions more akin to the films Revolution #9 or Ingmar Bergman’s Persona than it is to most novels, let alone the rest of DeLillo’s work. Certainly, he sometimes hints at a kind of meditative mode of art, as in Great Jones Street, but DeLillo has never

achieved anything approaching the purely ephemeral tone of The Body Artist. Although the novel is rather short, and DeLillo does occasionally give in to expository urges, it is still a remarkable achievement.

Characters in The Body Artist are not introduced—they appear and exit without being named or described. This posits the reader as a metaphysical voyeur, trying to glean some perverse pleasure or wisdom solely from

the banal meanderings of characters’ minds. Offended at Rey’s ignorance of her beverage preferences, Lauren asks him how long they have been together. He replies, “Not long. Not long enough for me to notice the details.”

While Rey misses some of Lauren’s features, he still finds enough evidence to tellingly describe her as “the young woman who eats and sleeps and lives forever.”

Lauren does not function so generally, routinely losing herself in monotonous observations while Rey speaks, but she has obviously studied his being in detail. DeLillo investigates this intimate understanding while Rey smokes at breakfast: “It was agreeable to her, the smell of tobacco. It was part of her knowledge of his body … It was who he was in the dark, cigarettes and mumbled sleep and a hundred other things nameable and not.”

The novel is incredible in its ability to communicate life’s unspoken litany. The kinds of observations we make, infinitesimal in every way, are drawn out and described. Conversely, DeLillo breezes past more objectively important events with disregard for narrative structure. He bookends the middle of the novel with two newspaper articles that provide some semblance of plot, but he shows little concern for convention. Mirroring modern reality, events and objects in The Body Artist lack permanence.

Only after Rey’s departure from the story do we find out anything concrete about his life or art. When DeLillo does unveil Rey’s uncertain history as a self-made millionaire

playreview

York skyline and lighting that’s able to take the audience indoors and outdoors without constantly moving props.

Sylvia was perfectly cast and the acting was well done, especially considering that rehearsals only started the second week of January. The adorable MacLeod ★★★ A.R. Gurney makes the perfect Sylvia, walking around barefoot after the show, her hair in pigtails. She does say, though, that

BY ERIN DEYOUNG | STAFF WRITER “people need to stop petting me when I am not on an’s best friend, or woman’s worse nightmare? That is stage.” McCain does a great portrayal of a man who is the question in Parkland Theatre’s presentation of fed up with his job and finds freedom in Sylvia, while Littleton plays the career-driven wife who is fed up with Sylvia, directed by Betsy Peterson.

Set in modern-day Manhattan, the play opens on Greg having dog hair all over the nice furniture. Also, having (Jason McCain) and Kate (Jody Littleton), a happily mar- only one actor, Aaron Clark, play multiple characters of ried couple. Happy, that is, until Greg meets someone multiple genders adds to the overall humor of the story, special at the park. But this is no ordinary love triangle. especially when a chase ensues between Clark’s female A husband, a wife and a bitch? In a more literal sense character, Phyllis and Sylvia.

Though the storyline may attract than one may imagine. people of all ages, some of the One day, Greg, who is always naughty language and canine sexufighting with his boss, goes for a ality makes this a hysterical comedy walk in the park. There he meets for almost all theatre-goers. This the stray canine home-wrecker writer highly recommends that all Sylvia (Annamarie MacLeod). Greg Annamarie MacLeod comedy lovers see Sylvia. One word decides to bring Sylvia home with of warning to those who enjoy the him, to the distress of his wife. front row experience: There may be The story unravels with the chaos that Sylvia brings to the couple, the jealousy a wife can have a cat loose in the theater, and Sylvia hates those furballs. of the love between a man and his dog, and the conclusion Remaining show dates are Feb. 12-14 at 8 p.m. and Feb. 15 at of Greg having to choose between Kate and Sylvia.

Overall, the storyline is amusing and the dialogue is hys- 3 p.m. in the Parkland College Theatre. Tickets will be half terical. The set is amazing with a projection of the New price Feb. 12.

Sylvia

Poetry Slam – This event features a presentation of familiar and original works by Parkland students.

Parkland College Flag Lounge. Feb 25, 1-2pm.

“Maroonapalooza” – The Central High School Band Boosters are organizing a fund-raising event that will showcase student bands. So far, you will be able to hear 10 student bands at the event, which takes place Feb 22, 12-6pm.

buzz

Beautiful and Together Sisters presents: Ebony Heat – the 22nd Annual Fashion Show will be held in Lincoln Theater this year. The doors open up at 5:30pm and the show starts at 6pm. Tickets are free but you must have a ticket to get in the show.

The last day to pick up a ticket is this Thursday at either booth located on the Quad.

SPOKEN WORD

FUND-RAISING

buzz

What to look for . . .

1. Person is unconscious or semi-conscious and cannot be awakened.

2. Cold, clammy, pale or bluish skin.

3. Slow or irregular breathing: less than eight times per minute or ten seconds or more between breaths.

4. Vomiting while “sleeping” or passed out, and not waking up after vomiting.

What to do . . .

1. Call 911 for emergency assistance. If living in a residence hall, contact a staff member.

2. Take action – how can your friend be angry about you caring for him or her? Better safe than sorry.

3. Do not leave the person alone. Turn them on their side to prevent choking in case of vomiting.

If a person has any of these symptoms, he or she likely is suffering from acute alcohol poisoning.

If you have questions, please call the ALCOHOL & OTHER DRUG OFFICE AT 333-7557.

M

[

“People need to stop petting me when I am not on stage.”

[

PHOTO COURTESY OF PARKLAND COLLEGE

021204buzz0718

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movie director, it does little to change what comes before or after this revelation. His impact on Lauren does not come from his position in society, but rather from the collision and composition of her infinite impressions of him. The importance of Rey’s absence arises from DeLillo’s revelation of his life’s ambiguity. It becomes clear that Lauren struggles with doubt of Rey’s persona, and the remainder of the novel catalogues her effort to reconcile her countless impressions with Rey’s reality through her art.

As Lauren attempts to cull together a coherent impression of her husband, she combines impressions of a webcam image of a Finnish road, a surreal, unintelligible intruder into her home and various phone calls and fleeting images to define Rey’s life and her love for him. DeLillo flawlessly compiles a sweeping mosaic of her artistic effort—a texturally rich dream play that never becomes cumbersome and ought to be required reading for anyone interested in the mechanisms of perception.

BOOK REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unreadable

021204buzz0619

2/11/04

5:17 PM

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arts

SHUT UP, BRAIN, OR I’LL STAB YOU WITH A Q-TIP. | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

buzz

“Elysium on the Prairie”

I

n a room swarming with anticipation and suggested synapses of dialogue, these players are ready for action this Friday night.

Some are dressed in long, black trench coats and heavy boots while others wear threepiece suits. These excited bodies are perfectly dressed for the occasion. The room is amazingly cheerful and all participants involved seem ready to step into the roles of their characters. In an instant the atmosphere changes and Champaign transforms into a hunting ground for a new breed of vampires, but only on Friday nights at 8:00.

“Elysium on the Prairie,” a live-action roleplaying game, has been at the University of Illinois for the last seven years. “It’s a game where 30 to 50 people come out and pretend to be their own vampire character. The game has no script and is based on improvisational skills. Neither does the game have an end or a winner. It is tons of fun and a great friendbuilder,” says Matt Banach, the game’s president.

Participants describe the setting for “Elysium on the Prairie” as “modern gothpunk,” similar to movies such as “Blade” and “Underworld.” The theme revolves around vampires trying to stay alive in modern society and avoiding destruction by other supernatural creatures such as werewolves.

Elysium, an old Greek word for heaven, means a safe place in the middle of a wilderness. In the game’s plotline, the vampires have come to Champaign, an imaginary

sanctuary ground, to find peace and a better chance of survival.

Anyone can join this improvisational game, as long as they have an active imagination, understand all the concepts of what it means to be a vampire, and love to have fun.

“I was doing a report on vampires and ran across the game through the University’s student registered organizations. I decided to play because it could help me finish up my work. I’ve been watching the game for about two months and now I’m excited (to actually participate),” says first-time player Dan Cozzi.

The game is virtually driven by the participants and their creativity. The plot of the game resembles a soap opera. Characters are sometimes deceived, killed or reborn through new characters. The game is not only played here in Champaign, but also in other cities and states. Plots are even linked to games in other countries. Participants of the game are allowed to play anywhere.

The game does have some rules: Players must create goals for their characters—like the yearning for power or acceptance—and they should work with other players to keep the game true to form yet fun for everyone.

“Each character has a goal, whether it may be striving for power, survival, morality, courage, self-control or otherwise. It’s interesting to watch the different storylines that emerge, fitting in with our ongoing story of a city of vampires,” says Banach. There are also administrative storytellers (STs) who keep the game from moving outside the genre or becoming too silly.

People who play the game are usually stu-

Illini Union when they have special events or when a larger number of players from other games around the country want to participate. The players arrive between 6:30 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. and the game is in full swing by 8:30 p.m. buz z

dents from the University; some are from other professions. They meet in Gregory Hall every Friday from 6:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. The same game has been running since the early ‘90s and still has some of its original members. The members sometimes meet in the

this week Th Feb 12 Wine Tasting 5pm, LOB, free UI Symphony Orchestra 7:30pm, FGH, $2-$5 Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

Fr Feb 13 Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

Sa Feb 14 Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra 7:30pm, FGH, $10-$28 Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

Su Feb 15 Concertante 3pm, FGH, $23-$31 Sponsors: Jan and Ray Shepardson

@

krannert center

We Feb 18 UI Wind Symphony and UI Symphonic Band I 7:30pm, FGH, $2-$5 Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

Organizing Your Home Office for Success Instructed by Melinda Harper, owner of Melinda's Professional Organizing in Mackinaw, Ill, this class will help by teaching innovative ways to get organized and preview some of the latest space saving tools to help organize the home office and simplify life. Class will be held Saturday from 9:3011:30am at Robeson Hall, 222 N. State St in Champaign. Course fee is $15. Call 351-2546 for more information. Course will be held Feb 28.

Registration deadline is Feb 20.

Basic Scrapbooking – Choose a theme, organize photos, and pick one of 12 embossed scrapbooks.

Hands-on instruction by Desiree Jones utilizes many scrapbook tools and accessories, such as eyelets, die-cuts, stickers, embellishments, and more. Finish the class with a completed scrapbook and the technique and skill to create many more.

Class will meet on Saturday, March 6 from 1-4pm in room D105 on the Parkland campus. The fee is $50. Call 351-2546 for more information.

Registration deadline is Feb 20.

Beginner Computers I– This afternoon class is designed for students who are acquainted with the computer and are on friendly terms with the mouse. Participants will learn to format a document; cut, copy, and paste; save and find files; and much more. Classes will meet on Mondays from 13pm at the Illinois Employment & Training Center, 1307 N. Mattis Ave., Champaign. The course fee is $41. The course runs Feb 23-March 8. For more information, call 351-2546. Registration deadline is Feb 16.

Beginner Computers II– This evening class is designed for students who are acquainted with the computer and are on friendly terms with the mouse. Participants will learn to format a document; cut, copy, and paste; save and find files; and much more. Classes will meet on Mondays from 68 p.m. at the Illinois Employment & Training Center, 1307 N. Mattis Ave., Champaign. The course fee is $41. For more information, call 351-2546.

The course meets Feb 23-March 8. Registration deadline is Feb 16.

Th Feb 19 Wine Tasting 5pm, LOB, free Concert Prep: Moscow State Radio Symphony Orchestra and Chorus 6:45pm, CPH, free

Home Buyer's Seminar – Learn important steps in the home buying process including pre-qualification, inspection, and closing. Class will meet on Saturday from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at 1315 N. Mattis Ave., in Champaign. The course fee is $20 for individuals or same household couples and includes a workbook. The course will be held Feb 21. Call 3512235 to register.

Moscow State Radio Symphony Orchestra and Chorus 7:30pm, FGH, $27-$44 Sponsors: Carolyn Burrell Richard Cogdal James Russell Vaky

Foundation of Teamwork – Competition demands that organizations do more, in a shorter response time, with fewer resources. Participants in this class will identify their primary communication style and those of their team members and develop plans to build better working relationships with other team members. Class meets Thursday, February 19 from 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at 1315 N. Mattis Ave, Champaign. Course fee is $110. The course meets Feb 19. To register, call 351-2235.

Tu Feb 17 Mobile Jazz 7pm, Champaign Public Library, free Sponsors:

Reaching for Stellar Service – Explore how customers define stellar service and the challenge of delivering such service. Learn the key moments of truth in customer interaction. Class meets from 8:30a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Wednesday, February 18 at 1315 N. Mattis Ave, Champaign. Fee is $99. The course will be held Feb 18. To register, call 3512235.

Twelfth Night 7:30pm, STH, $6-$13

MIND BODY SPIRIT

PHOTOS | ADAM YOUNG

Some Krannert Center programs are supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts, the Illinois Arts Council, and patron and corporate contributions.

Season Sponsors Coporate Season Underwriters

Patron Season Sponsors

Some of the members of the cast on the set of “Elysium on the Prairie.” From left to right: Tina Stover, Terri Koerner, Chris Abbott, Matt Banach, Eric Stover, Anne Mestern, Nick Bielawski.

CAROLE AND JERRY RINGER

Champaign-Urbana Symphony concerts are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council, a state agency.

217/333-6280 or 800/KCPATIX 217/333-9714 (TTY) 217/244-SHOW (Fax) 217/244-0549 (Groups) kran-tix@uiuc.edu

Sunday Zen Meditation Meeting – Prairie Zen Center, 515 S Prospect, Champaign, NW corner of Prospect & Green, enter through door from parking area. Introduction to Zen sitting, 10am; full schedule: Service at 9am followed by sitting, Dharma Talk at 11 followed by tea until about noon. Can arrive at any of the above times, open to all, no experience needed, no cost. For information, call 355-8835 or www.prairiezen.org.

Ticket Office Open 10am to 6pm daily; on days of performances open 10am through intermission.

Prairie Sangha for Mindfullness Meditation – Monday evenings from 7:30-9pm and monthly retreats on Sunday. Theravadan (Vipassana) and Tibetan (Vjrayana & Dzogchen) meditation prac-

KrannertCenter.com

calendar

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

MEETINGS & WORKSHOPS

Lights, camera, action and no script:

BY TERESA SEWELL | STAFF WRITER

buzz

tice. Meets in Urbana. For more information, call or email Tom at 356-7413 or shayir@soltec.net. www.prairiesangha.org.

Falun Gong – Falun Gong is a powerful ancient exercise that improves health, reduces stress and increases energy. This practice involves slow gentle movements of the body, while it teaches the principles of truthfulness, benevolence and forbearance. Springer Cultural Center. Feb 7, Feb 14, 10:30-11:30am. Fee is $5. For more information, call 398-2376.

Falun Dafa Teaching Workshop – Falun Gong is an advanced meditation exercise that improves health, reduces stress and increases energy. The practice involves gentle movements of the body, while it teaches the truthfulness, benevolence and forbearance. Falun Gong is enhances practitioners spiritually, mentally and physically. Springer Cultural Center. Feb 7 & 14. 10:30-11:30am. Fee $5.

For more info, call 398-2376.

Parkland and Normal community bands to perform joint concert – The Parkland Community Band will perform in a joint concert with the Normal Community Band on Sunday, Feb 29 at 2:30p.m. at the Wesley United Methodist Church in Bloomington. The concert is free and open to the public. Musical selections that the bands will perform together include "A Festival Prelude" by Alfred Reed and songs from the musical, "My Fair Lady." Michael Wallace conducts the Normal Community Band; Greg Grove conducts the Parkland Community Band.

Parkland-ICTM Math Contest – On Feb 28, the 2004 Parkland-ICTM Regional High School Math Contest will be held at Parkland on Saturday, Feb 28. Over 1,100 students are expected to participate. Most events begin at 9 a.m. The awards ceremony will be held at the Parkland gym at 2pm and is open to the public. eBay 101 – On March 9 and 16, participants will learn how to set up an eBay account, buy and list items, pay and collect payments, determine shipping costs, and use photographs as an advantage.

Classes will meet Tuesdays from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Parkland College Bauman Center, 2104 W Park Ct, Champaign. The course fee is $29. For more information call (217) 351-2546. Registration deadline is March 2.

Conversational Spanish II– On Mar 15-April 26, this class will build on skills learned in Conversational Spanish I. Participants will learn new materials presented in a variety of ways, including stories.

Participants should have completed Conversational Spanish I or be able to converse in Spanish at a basic level. Classes will be held on Mondays from 7-9pm in room X116 at the Parkland College campus. The course fee is $69.

For more information call (217) 351-2546.

Registration deadline is March 8.

E-Mail and the Internet – March 15-29, this course teaches Internet terminology, how to download files and graphics, and how to search for information online. Participants will explore interesting websites and learn the "ins and outs" of e-mail.

This course is for those who are familiar with Windows. Classes will meet on Mondays from 1-3pm at the Illinois Employment Training Center, 1307 N Mattis Ave, Champaign. The course fee is $41. Call (217) 351-2546 for more information.

Registration deadline is March 8.

Intermediate Computers – March 15-29, what happens to computer files after they are deleted? This course is for those who want to learn more about how their computer operates. Learn to locate lost files, create address labels, insert clip art, and make columns. The class meets Mondays from 6-8pm at the Illinois Employment Training Center, 1307 N Mattis Ave, in Champaign. The course fee is $41.

Registration deadline is March 8. Call (217) 3512546 for more information.

National Biennial Ceramics Invitational ("Elevating the Utilitarian: Transforming the Vessel through Surface Decoration") – March 1April 9, the Parkland Art Gallery will host the 9th Biennial Ceramics Invitational. This year's exhibit, co-curated by Parkland faculty Chris Berti and Laura O'Donnell, includes nationally known artists Sam Chung of Michigan, Julia Galloway of New York, John Glick of Michigan, Michael Hunt of North Carolina, and others. A reception will be

19

held Tue, March 16 from 6-8 p.m., with a gallery talk by Berti and O'Donnell at 7pm.

For more information call (217) 351-2485.

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES Mediators Needed – Are you interested in assisting others in resolving conflict? The Office for Student Conflict Resolution is accepting applications forvolunteer mediators. We offer free extensive training for students to become Mediators. The training session will be held Feb 20-22. You must be able to attend the entire training session. The deadline to receive applications is this Friday. Please applyearly – there are a limited number of spaces available. You will be notified by Tuesday, if you have been selected to participate. Apply online at http://www.conflictresolution.uiuc.edu/m ediation/training.asp. If you have any questions please email conflictresolution@uiuc.edu.

Sexual Assault Crisis Advocacy – A Woman’s Fund is seeking volunteers to serve as advocates for our 24-hour hotline and 24-hour medical/legal Advocacy programs. Contact Michelle Clutts at train4rcs@yahoo.com.

Camp Activity Assistants – Volunteers will assist coordinator with craft, movement, cooking and other fun activities.

Thomasboro students have the opportunity to attend camp during Spring Break (March 15-18). For more information, contact Lisa Comstock at 643-3275.

Celebration of African American Month – We would like to have one or two African American fraternities or sororities come to our school and do a short "Step" performance for our children. 75 percent of the children that we serve are African American and we would like to expose them to some role models of our community and think this would be a great way to do it. We are also looking for Black males that would like to come to the classrooms and read to the children on a one time basis. Contact Maggie Rodriguez-Nieto at 351-3711.

Prevention Initiative – Interested in working with moms and their children? You could volunteer as a support group assistant. Volunteers are asked to commit to 6 months. An excellent opportunity to volunteer with children, and moms. A wonderful experience for someone who wants to work with the Spanish speaking population. Some groups are Spanish only speaking; volunteers in those groups must be bilingual. For more information, contact Janice Connelly at jconnelly@provenabehavioralhealth.org or 398-8080.

Computer Lab Assistant – Generations of Hope in Rantoul which serves at-risk youth working with senior citizens, is seeking volunteers to help the kids with computer activities in their computer lab on any weekday between 3:30-5:30. Contact Carolyn Casteel at 893-4673.

CROSSWORD ANSWERS P. 23 W A L T

P A R E R

I S O U R O B E S E

N E W T O L E F T TU RN

T T H O A M O D O Z

S A S O R U T T A S J A P L A O N U S E

TU RN

S P R I E R O M E N

I L I A D W H I T E

N O O N D E

G M A E A D N G S L A D O N D A L I A N E S N D O E T Y E S Y U T A O P E R C E D T A P A L S TU RN

S M A R T

P A M A X I G E D E E R B E E A R N C I D E K E S N H A N A H A T N O S E C O T E E T Y M TU RN

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 34¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 25¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

Employment 000 HELP WANTED | Full Time Express Personnel Services 217.355.8500 101 Devonshire Dr., Champaign

Services

100

BUSINESS SERVICES Graphic design studio is seeking models for beauty and style photography. www.victoriasphoto.com Victoria’s Photographics 217-328-3013

CLEANING Exact Extraction. Carpet & upholstery cleaning. Free estimates. 6883101.

LAWN CARE FREE ESTIMATES: Tree trimming, Topping, Removal, Stump Grinding.

384-5010.

Apartments

400

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished

Courtyard Apartments 713 S. Randolph, Champaign Renting for Fall/2 & 3 Bedrooms.

Furnished & Unfurnished From $608/mo.

Includes cable, parking, water.

Has laundry facility and seasonal pool. Near campus and downtown Champaign.

352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com (217)384-6930 “believe the hype”

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Unurnished 1519 W. Healey, C. Conveniently located 1 BR now available. $385/mo. 352-8540, 3554608 pm. www.faronproperties.com 800 W. Church, C. Now avail. Economical 2 BR. $450/mo. 352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com Brand new luxury 1, 2, 3, bedroom apartments available in Champaign.

Call Manchester Property Management at 359-0248 for an appointment.

Announcements800 MEETINGS There is Help and Healing after abortion. Had an abortion? Feeling grief, anger, shame? We understand abortion pain and loss. Support group recovery classes forming.

Postabortion Helpline-217-328-2033 Calls completely confidential.

E-mail: newbeginningaglo@aol.com Web: http://hometown.aol.com/ccweaver/ myhomepage/index.index.html We know, we understand and we want to help you heal!

Call for help today!

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film

moviereview

MIRACLE ★★★

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

A

regretful former player hellbent on conditioning a ragtag team of players into unlikely victors. Kids facing impossible odds against bigger, stronger opponents. A country uniting behind young soldiers on ice as they restore hope and excitement to a nation in desperate need of both.

The true story of the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team’s legendary victory over the Soviet Union, dubbed the “miracle on ice,” is so suited for a crowd-pleasing Disney retelling that it’s amazing the studio hasn’t already made one.

The only thing is, they have.

The remarkable, real-life basis for Miracle, a sufficiently rousing look back at one of American sports’ proudest moments, was stripped of its authenticity and presented as an underdog fable for kids in 1994’s D2: The Mighty Ducks. At the time, the United States wasn’t embroiled in a worldwide fight against terror, and the harmless sequel to the surprise hit

moviereview

BARBERSHOP 2: BACK IN BUSINESS ★★★

BY ANDREW CREWELL | STAFF WRITER

I

t’s no coincidence that Barbershop 2: Back in Business was released in the middle of Black History Month. Ice Cube and the gang’s comeback is full of culture, witty real-life charm and South Side Chicago flare that breeds its heartwarming ethnic diversity.

A sequel can bring up so many questions: Can the writers capture their original magic without overcooking it? Will the cast come back in style? Can the flame that made the first one stand out be duplicated? The second coming of Barbershop answers all questions with a resounding yes.

The cast is back and better than ever.

Without question, the best part of Barbershop 2 is the banter and chemistry between the stars.

Ice Cube (Calvin), Eve, Michael Ealy and Troy Garity are all back, scissors in hand, at Calvin’s Barbershop. The same squabbles over apple juice and rap music dominate conversation as

WE MISS SCARLETT JOHANSSON!! | FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2004

essentially downplayed the notion of a hockey team unifying a whole country.

Miracle, on the other hand, does everything it can to prove just how much America needed this victory, as if Olympic gold offered respite from the global unrest that gripped the nation as the ‘70s became the ‘80s. Ayatollah! Gas shortages! Disco! And most of all, the Cold War, which provided the heat for the Americans’ celebrated triumph in the Olympic semifinals (their eventual gold medal win over Finland is little more than an asterisk in the history books).

Kurt Russell stars as coach Herb Brooks, a merciless believer in team unity and relentless conditioning. He coached his team to three national championships at the University of Minnesota but Brooks has a score to settle on a larger stage: He was cut from the 1960 Olympic team one week before the U.S. went on to win the gold. Since then, the Soviet Union had instilled fear into the world, as well as the world of hockey, winning four straight gold medals.

First-time writer Eric Guggenheim and second-time director Gavin O’Connor give this uplifting sports spectacle the appropriate pomp and circumstance, celebrating the glory of victory with a twist of American schoolboy propaganda. Most of Team USA, led by Friends’ Eddie Cahill as goalie Jim Craig, remains relatively faceless—no name from Miracle will ever hold the nostalgic power of Ducks’ Goldberg—but this allows character development to stay out of the way of an inherently inspirational story.

these stars play alongside each other with ease.

Like the original, the supporting roles are just as important to the feel as the leads. Larger than life, Cedric the Entertainer is back as Eddie, a jive-talking relic of sentimentality. In this sequel, the writers chose to concentrate on Eddie as a character instead of a quote machine.

As the film’s biggest weakness, Eddie’s story begins to chew like jerky near the end.

Cedric’s accent sounds more like a boxer speaking through a wired jaw than a crotchety old man. It remains, however, and the personality of “Eddie” is one of the most unique on screen to date. His unique history of Chicago’s racial dilemmas and complete disregard for black heritage is humorous and nothing less than integral to the success of the film.

Also joining the cast for this victory tour, straight out of Chicago, is Queen Latifah.

Playing the part of Calvin’s old love interest, Latifah gives another great performance and fits the movie like a glove. Credited as the fifth star of the film, her presence is an instantaneous boost to the cast.

The first Barbershop found success in a simple story—a story that allowed the audience to sit back, relax and enjoy the whimsical dialogue. The second round is much the same: The shop is under duress, and reaching inside themselves to tap their goodness, they appeal to the power of the people and thwart a new barber shop’s attempt to invade the block.

There are some of the same feel-good scenes.

Checkers Fred is still playing checkers and Calvin is still smirking while throwing hus-

buzz

Movie News Compiled by Jason Cantone

MIRACLE | EDDIE CAHILL & PATRICK O’BRIEN DEMSEY

The Exorcist director William Friedkin caused a stir by agreeing to direct a new Paramount film because his wife is the studio’s chairman. This news is simply shocking. I have never heard of someone getting a role because of family connections. I’m sure Sofia Coppola’s audition for The Godfather III was phenomenal and had nothing to do with that film’s director.

MTV notified record companies that they are pulling eight steamy music videos from artists such as Britney Spears and Blink-182 out of prime time and will only air them late at night.

They just don’t have enough room for music videos if they’re going to air the Janet Jackson nipple shot every five minutes.

Brooks said, “I don’t want the best players, I want the right ones,” and his team-oriented concept led the United States past the Soviets in a contest that was less like a game and more like a sports-themed, live-action version of “Risk.”

The film captures that sports-as-global-war sense with the right amount of patriotic fanfare, meticulously holding to Brooks’ ideals of tolerance and camaraderie.

America’s victory may not have actually been a miracle in the spiritual sense of the word, but what Miracle gets right is the feeling of national desperation that was extinguished by the unpredictable triumph of 20 college-aged hockey players. It was something the country needed then and something Disney obviously thinks we need now. It’s an inspirational blast from the past, and that’s something to quack about.

Cold Mountain got the cold shoulder from the Academy and everyone’s scrambling to make up as many excuses as possible. First, they blamed Nicole Kidman for looking too pretty.

Then, they blamed Miramax for not promoting it enough. Now, Miramax honcho Harvey Weinstein is blaming Oscar-winning director Anthony Minghella for shooting the Civil War epic in Romania instead of the United States.

Rumors that the film is too boring, too predictable or was too much of an Oscar wannabe from day one were quickly dismissed after pundits realized Minghella’s The English Patient swept the awards despite those factors.

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“The touch element of the massage helps customers have a more positive outlook on their body,” the therapist says. “It helps people feel more aware, and therefore, more comfortable.”

“We’re not always huge touchers,” she says.

“I don’t touch everything, but I (touch) almost all over your body, and you can’t get that very many places.”

She holds up the blanket in a tent form, and asks me to turn over on my stomach. She places moist, warm towels on my back for a few moments. The warmth makes me remember and dread the moment I will have to go out into the cold.

“During a massage session, the most common side effect is nausea. Since toxins are stirred up in the bloodstream, a customer can feel nauseous,” Novelli says.

Toxins are usually stirred up when the therapist tries to rub out the knots in the muscles of the body.

“Knots are really just contracted muscles that stay contracted even when you are relaxed,” she explains. “There are times when muscles are very, very tense and you can experience a little bit of discomfort.”

GerryMann

Barbershop 2 ★★★★

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad

I’ve been doing it for a little over two years now. There was only one other Candy Bouquet when I opened, in Bloomington, and now there are about 12. So it’s growing really fast.

Rantoul

“Not bad for a sequel."

Dellrae Lawrence Chicago

"I liked the jokes.”

How long does it take to make a bouquet?

For the past two years, Champaign resident Gerry Mann has been running Champaign’s Candy Bouquet, a unique franchise that delivers bouquets of candy all over the world. This shop, located in the heart of downtown Champaign, strives to design personalized gifts using gourmet candies. Never dreaming that she would manage her own store, Gerry now takes pleasure in gracing the community with her decorative bouquets of candy.

★★★★

SCREEN REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★

When did you get into the business?

Jeremy Collins

★★★★

What is the history behind Candy Bouquet?

Jeremy Lawrence Chicago

"Eddie was funny."

What made you want to get into the candy business?

We opened in December of 2001. I was traveling in California with my husband, and I believe I saw a popcorn bouquet someplace out there, and when I came back home, I decided I was going to do something. I loved wrapping gifts, and I wanted to do something from home. I got on the Internet, and I was looking for things that might possibly work for us, and I came across the popcorn bouquet again. One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I put in my application to become a franchise.

Compiled by Roderick Gedey

tlers out of his shop. The greatest success of all might be how, despite arguments and shady situations, there isn’t a character in the movie whom the audience can’t root for.

Today’s sequel has prompted the average moviegoer to dread a second edition. After last summer’s Dumb and Dumberer and 2 Fast 2 Furious, as well as the Matrix trilogy that weakened toward the end, there’s no doubt why. It’s a relief to see a sequel that doesn’t completely flop and tarnish the image of the first.

Barbershop 2 accomplishes all it set out to do.

The audience laughs, has a good time and leaves the theater with big, goofy smiles on their faces.

An hour later, she tells me I should slowly and carefully get up because massage naturally lowers blood pressure. I’m almost tempted to ask if I could lay there a bit longer and take a nap.

When I leave the room, I meet Laura Lasater, the massage therapist that helped me escape at BJ Grand Salon and Spa. It takes me a moment to realize that Laura was the person in the massage therapy room with Therapists use many different massage techniques. me. She brings me a glass of ice water to flush out the toxins, and comfortably puffy, and while she doesn’t advises me to substitute caffeine with have color on her fingernails, they are water today. I give her my I’m-too-under- well groomed. Laura gives me a firm goodbye handshake, and I take out my slept-to-avoid-coffee look.

Her blonde hair is scrunched with gel credit card to pay the $55 bill, plus a tip.

As I leave, I can’t help but wonder if and she wears a silver necklace with a gray stone matching her patterned short- maybe next time I should escape through a sleeve blouse. Her 27-year-old hands look five dollar bottle of Skol vodka instead. buzz

Q & A

C-UViews

BARBERSHOP 2 | CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER

community

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

PHOTOS | RODERICK GEDEY

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BUENA VISTA PICTURES

2/11/04

METRO GOLDWYN MAYER

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We are a franchise, and in 1989 was when the franchise was established. Margaret McEntire opened up the business in her garage. We are about 750 stores strong now. It’s kind of a fastgrowing franchise.

The average time is about 45 minutes. It’s different and unique; it’s one-of-a-kind because nothing is ever the same. You never have the same bouquet because everything is all handmade.

What is a typical day like for you?

The business takes a lot of time. I am up here really early in the morning and I leave at 5:30 or 6:00 usually every day. I spend most of my time here making and taking orders.

What holidays are the busiest for you?

Valentine’s Day is our biggest holiday. I can’t imagine what it will be like this year. Mother’s Day is right on the heels of that.

What is your most popular Valentine’s Day item?

For Valentine’s Day, I believe it’s going to be our popcorn bouquet, which I turned into a Valentine Bouquet. I added a few more cutesies. Who knows by the 14th what is going to happen? I need at least 250 to 300 bouquets made and ready for Valentine’s Day. What is the best part of your job?

It doesn’t even feel like a job at times, because it’s so much fun to do. This is a happy product, and most people can’t say that they work and enjoy their jobs anymore, and I do. The customer’s response is always the same; everybody relates to candy.

What would you be doing if you were not running Candy Bouquet?

I’d probably be in a job that I’m not really happy doing. I really can’t imagine being at a job that I dislike.

How do you spend your free time?

My spare time is mainly devoted to my family.

I have a daughter who is having a baby in April. We’re really excited about that. My husband and I do a lot of things together, so I usually spend time with him or read books.

What is the best piece of advice you have been given?

Margaret McEntire, the lady who is responsible for the founding of Candy Bouquet, strongly encourages giving back to your own community. I feel that we do that a lot, and when you do that, your return is tenfold; I’m not thinking money when I say that.

It’s just rewarding that you can be a part of helping out others sometimes.

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community

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

buzz

Melting away winter blues The experience and benefits of massage therapy

BY ALINA DIZIK | STAFF WRITER

ost people try to escape from something. Escape through drugs, escape through alcohol, escape through lies. My escape wasn’t nearly as dangerous; I escaped through a onehour, full body message.

I lock away my purse and clothes while I change into an off-white terry cloth towel that snaps. I’ve never been asked to lock up my cell phone and amuse myself with how vulnerable I feel without it.

The therapist shows me into a dimly lit room at the end of the hall. I situate myself on the massage table and slide in between the soft cotton sheets. There is a small pillow under my knees for extra support while I am on my back.

She knocks quietly and enters the room after I am tucked comfortably under the sheets. The therapist stands at the end of the table and begins with my head.

Surprisingly, her fingers don’t get tangled in my foot-long curly hair. The light pressure she applies to my head keeps me from thinking about anything; the worrisome thoughts quickly dissipate.

Inside the room, it seems like all the light is coming from only a single candle. The therapist disappears into the dark ambiance of the room. I forget her presence and instead, I’m almost hypnotized by the massage. As she works her way to my neck and shoulders, I no longer feel odd that there is an almost stranger touching my body. I use all my energy to subconsciously concentrate inward and numb myself to any outside disturbances.

She starts her work with all of her customers lying on their backs, because she wants them to develop a trust with her. “I’m very aware of peoples’ vulnerabilities,” she says. “Even though we’re covered, we don’t have the comfort of our clothes, and you have someone you don’t know personally touching you.”

She talks in a soothing voice, mimicking the atmosphere. Light ocean wave sounds overlap the instrumental music in the background. It is hard not to relax. She pauses along with the music to give my neck muscles a deeper stretch.

Massage therapy has become the new “in” throughout the last decade. Though it was once mainly thought of as a spa service to pamper the wealthy, many medical centers now use it as an acceptable form of therapy.

There are more than 260,000 massage therapists in the country. A total of 18 percent of

American adults say that they have had a massage in the last year, according to the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA). The popularity of massage can be attributed to a more health-conscious nation, says Lynette Novelli, a spokeswoman for the AMTA. Battling the winter blues justifies getting a massage. The standard Swedish—or relaxation—massage, reduces stress and stimulates endorphins release. Also, since massage causes better blood and lymph circulation throughout the body, it helps keep a person warm. A person may also get fewer colds, because it strengthens immunity, Novelli added.

Despite its fairly recent rise in popularity, massage dates back to ancient civilizations.

“There are Egyptian scrolls with people massaging feet,” Novelli said.

As the therapist makes her way down my arms, her movements get narrower. She uses different kinds of strokes to conform to each part of the body. She touches each finger one at a time, pulling her hands away at the fingertips. She uses soft strokes for the bonier parts, and thicker, more powerful strokes where there is more fat and muscle.

She rubs lavender oil on my body and I impulsively apologize to for my scaly, dry winter skin.

“There is nothing wrong with that, everybody has all kinds of different skin and body types—you see all of that,” she answers, and I automatically feel less selfconscious.

The therapist does not follow an exact format based on the Swedish massage, but instead incorporates other techniques she has learned. She often mixes in reflexology techniques. A reflexology massage connects

PHOTOS | RODERICK GEDEY

M

pressure points of the hands and feet to the cialties. The more training they have, the better they can tailor a routine based on the cusmain organs of the body.

“I think a good therapist, personally, can tomers’ needs. Therapists need at least 550 boost up their massage as they go based on hours of training, Novelli said.

As she moves her way to my legs, she is the way the body is responding,” she says.

“I have to custom make a massage for each careful to keep only one leg uncovered. She person. People respond differently to differ- asks me periodically whether the pressure is “still OK.” I nod my head, too lazy to actually ent modalities.”

A positive response means that the therapist speak. I think about how many times she has can feel the muscles relaxing based on the asked the same question or how many times modalities he or she uses. This intuition and she repeated instructions. Slowly, I retreat back learned experience is important, as often cus- into my solitary state, and again forget her tomers may not feel comfortable to communi- presence.

For the therapist, receiving a massage means cate during the session.

Even after more than six years of experience, having total relaxation. “I think people tend to giving massages has not become an automatic feel better for days, a lot better,” she says.

One of the reasons she became a therapist is reflex for the therapist. She says she tries to concentrate on the individual, and pays careful to help people feel better about their bodies. attention to their body.

People may not know they have swelling in a certain spot, but if that spot is wrongly stimulated, the massage may hurt them.

Those with heart conditions should also be careful when getting certain types of massages, she said.

These kinds of more specialized massages are usually preformed in wellness centers. Similar to a spa, wellness centers employ their own massage therapists but are often more medically focused.

Abby Meyers, a therapist at Mettler Center, a physical therapy and fitness center, says their massages are based less on relaxation and more on health benefits. Mettler’s physical therapists often work with massage therapists to aid their patients.

For example, a physical therapist might send a patient to get his or her leg massaged, Meyers said.

However, Novelli stresses that a good massage depends on individual therapists—not the type of environment in which it is practiced. She recommends calling around to ask about therapists’ speTherapist Lacy Russell gives a Swedish massage.

buzz

film

FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2004 | THEATRES ARE REALLY MILKING THE OSCAR HOPEFULS

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT Movies for a successful Valentine’s Day

Editor’s Note: Valentine’s Day can be a great time to spend with a loved one, sitting in front of a fire, naked and cuddling.

Or it can be a drunken good time with friends playing Edward 40 Hands, drinking away the sorrows from those who screwed you in love. There are an abundance of films praising love and all the happiness it brings, but there are still some out there that show the pain that it so often brings as well—or at least ignore love and focus on the bonds of friendship. This list is full of mere suggestions, and is very much incomplete, but hopefully it helps, whatever your Valentine’s Day ends up as. (Paul Wagner)

Pro-Valentine The American President Bridget Jones’s Diary Casablanca Don Juan DeMarco Dirty Dancing Forget Paris Ghost Love Actually Love and Basketball Moulin Rouge My Best Friend’s Wedding The Princess Bride Serendipity Shrek Sleepless in Seattle Some Like it Hot When Harry Met Sally

ANTI-VALENTINE Chasing Amy Clerks Gigli High Fidelity Love Stinks The Silence of the Lambs Swingers Thelma and Louise Unfaithful Valentine Any kind of porn Any war film (compiled by Paul Wagner & Glenn Cochon)

moviereview

CATCH THAT KID ★★★

BY SYD SLOBODNIK | STAFF WRITER

W

hile most adults probably avoid the simplicity of PG-rated films, most parents embrace such films because they seek lessthan-crude entertainment for their children.

Director Bart Freundlich’s latest film, Catch That Kid, is aimed squarely for the junior high crowd and hits the mark with an enjoyable mid-winter fantasy. Along with screenwriters Michael Brandt and Derek Haas, Freundlich tells an imaginative caper adventure of middle school pals Maddy, Austin and Gus, who plan to steal $250,000 from a big downtown bank in order to pay for an experimental operation for Maddy’s paralyzed father.

Kristen Stewart, last seen in Panic Room, has a natural ease of performance. She plays Maddy, the likable tomboyish girl who favors the adventurous spirit of her father. Maddy’s mom, played by ‘80s Flashdance icon Jennifer Beals, is a multi-tasking professional woman with little time for parenting. Maddy finds her enjoyment in the company of two pals.

When Maddy’s dad suffers a relapse from a severe back injury, and all attempts at personal

moviereview

THE BREAD, MY SWEET ★

BY ALAN BANNISTER | STAFF WRITER

W

hen a movie runs at a theater for only one week, even on a one-screen art theater like Boardman’s, there has to be something wrong or misunderstood about it. Such a movie must be either a dud or an unexpected wonder. Very little gray area exists.

The Bread, My Sweet spins a tale of love and devotion—a storyline uncommon among today’s disaffected youth. Scott Baio (Happy Days) plays Dominic, a rising young executive in Philadelphia. In the mornings, he works with his brothers in his bakery in an old Italian neighborhood. Above the bakery lives an old immigrant family, the elderly couple as stereotypically Italian as possible. In their kitchen are icon paintings of Jesus and coffee cans full of money that has been saved for a much dreamed about American wedding for their daughter. These items look on as the two argue in broken English, the old man insisting on paying for the bread Dominic brings him daily.

loans fail, Maddy masterminds a scheme to secure the needed funds for the operation.

Borrowing from classic caper film conventions of the past, Maddy and her friends each possess the expertise and required skills to pull off their bank heist. Maddy shares her dad’s interest in mountain climbing and plans to scale the height of the bank’s elevated vault.

Gus has a knack for the mechanical from his interest in go-carts, and will provide the getaway cars. The geekier Austin, who loves computers and imagines himself to be a future filmmaker, will handle lookout duties.

The film’s narrative also borrows a bit from Richard Rodriguez’s Spy Kids formula; it uses the “kids to the rescue” convention, but without all the hi-tech special effects. Catch That Kid moves at a quick pace, detailing the inventive, comic-book style of training the teen heroes, and smoothly executing an entertaining heist of the bank while a crowd of well-dressed adults are wined and dined at an evening party at the bank during the robbery.

Catch That Kid features some standard highspeed chases, comic situations with witless adults and suspenseful burglary scenes— along with some conventional teen romance, but these scenes are all done at the puppy love level. The script also treats Maddy’s relationship with her African-American friend Austin with colorblind respect.

As in most teen comedies, the adults here are portrayed as a mixed bag of nitwits or brain-dead losers rigidly trapped in the values of the previous generation. The head of the bank’s security squad is a paramilitary stereotype. An older bank security executive imag-

The portrayal of these characters against Dominic’s admitted “Spaghetti-O” Italian upbringing comes as both appealing and woefully cliched and contrived. Despite their hyper-characterization, the old man, Massimo (John Seitz), and his wife, Bella (Rosemary Prinz), become somewhat sympathetic and charming in their own way.

Dominic serves as a bridge of sorts, trying to live in two different worlds. On one hand, he lives in an old-fashioned world where he spends weekends making wine and mornings baking bread. He is the antithesis of the corporate life he lives during the day.

In the corporate world, he is paid to fire people, to leave them in the cold three days before Christmas and to act out other Scrooge-like antics. But his heart knows no bounds, showing exceptional care for those in his life, especially Bella. Dominic’s love for Bella and his desire to ensure a happy life for her goes to the extreme when he finds out she has terminal tumors throughout her bowels.

In an effort to give her the ultimate joy in her life, he asks her daughter, Lucca (Kristin Minter), to marry him when she comes back from the Peace Corps. The love they form is often described as impossible: a love formed from mutual desire to make someone happy.

Many reviews and brief descriptions of The Bread, My Sweet focus on the love story aspect.

But the film does not touch upon this aspect until slightly later than halfway through,

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CATCH THAT KID | KRISTEN STEWART

20TH CENTURY PICTURES

2/11/04

ines himself as a closet actor and does pathetic impressions of Robert DeNiro. The nasty bank president is a snake-like villain who hisses his loan denial to Maddy’s mother saying, “This is not an emotional issue. A bank has no heart, only paper in a vault.”

Maddy’s parents, played by Beals and Sam Robards, are the exception, and are portrayed as likable role models. The film’s best “family values” moments are revealed in scenes of strong father-daughter bonding, touching scenes of Maddy trying to understand her mother’s job commitments and the balanced value she places on Maddy’s daily needs.

The entertaining Catch That Kid will capture the imaginations of most pre-high-schoolers without insulting their intelligence or pandering to popular vulgarity and explicit sexuality.

Parents won’t have to worry about the film’s negative messages because it’s all played for comic fun and life’s highest values are reinforced in the end.

WHO KNEW PRODUCTIONS

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THE BREAD, MY SWEET | SCOTT BAIO which makes the film rather bland, as the development of their relationship is vastly more interesting than the extended scenes of Italian stereotypes.

Director Melissa Martin does an excellent job of keeping The Bread, My Sweet far from the typical Hollywood film. However, her freestyle camera usage and other filming techniques, which make the film appear more realistic in its presentation, become distracting.

These techniques can bring much added balance to films, such as the arresting scene in M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable where the son pulls a gun on his supposedly invincible father. Or in small doses, these techniques can illuminate the more realistic aspects of characters, such as in Duvall’s Assassination Tango.

Unfortunately for this film, the potential remains unused. A few short powerful scenes are not enough to carry viewers through the entire two hours.

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MOVIES TOO LOVE BY AND MOVIES TO HATE BY | FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2004

Drive-thru Reviews

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2/11/04

ALONG CAME POLLY ★★ BEN STILLER AND JENNIFER ANISTON Aniston does her best to make the movie shine, but even she can’t make the trite interesting or the familiar compelling. She does make it completely painless to endure, and at moments makes it almost fun, but she isn’t Superwoman. Her back, however strong, can only hold so much dead weight. (John Loos) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy BARBERSHOP 2: BACK IN BUSINESS ★★★ ICE CUBE AND CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER Today’s sequel has prompted the average moviegoer to dread a second edition. It’s a relief to see a sequel that doesn’t completely flop and tarnish the image of the first.

Barbershop 2 accomplishes all it set out to do. The audience laughs, has a good time and leaves the theater with a big, goofy smile on their faces. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE BIG BOUNCE ★★ OWEN WILSON AND SARA FOSTER Multiple plot elements involving heists, sex and utter debauchery ensue, but nothing ever seems to hit hard.

The characters’ motivations are so ambiguous that even at the end, when each character is exposed as a good guy or bad guy, it’s still hard to believe. The lackluster final moments that should have provided the film’s titular big bounce just provided a soft flopping around like a fish that washed up on a beautiful beach. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy BIG FISH

★★★

EWAN MCGREGOR AND ALBERT FINNEY Many critics have claimed that Big Fish is too literary for people to understand, and that the masses will grow inpatient with it. However, it’s the films inability to make the characters worthy of compassion that grows irksome. Big Fish will serve as one of 2003’s most imaginary films, but it falls short of its potential to also be one of 2003’s best. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT ★★ ASHTON KUTCHER AND AMY SMART

The Butterfly Effect creates so many different alternate realities that it nearly ceases to exist as a whole. There are some worthy ideas hovering around here, but by the film’s pessimistic, anti-climactic ending, they’ve all just about floated away. Kutcher may have a future in serious films, but if you sit through this one, consider yourself punked. (Matt Pais)

LOST IN TRANSLATION ★★★★ BILL MURRAY AND SCARLETT JOHANSSON Sofia Coppola’s latest work embodies the importance of a familiar face in a country full of strangers. Throughout the subtle, stupendous Lost in Translation, Bob and Charlotte discover in each other not just a friendly face but an ally in the universal game of lost and found. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MASTER AND COMMANDER

WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON! ★★★ KATE BOSWORTH AND JOSH DUHAMEL

Win a Date utilizes the classic love triangle: The girl must choose among excitement with Tad and comfort with Pete, and a life that’s comfortable. If the film didn’t poke fun at its own cliche throughout its plot, it wouldn’t work. Fortunately enough for Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, it does. (Janelle Greenwood) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING ★★★ SCARLETT JOHANSSON AND COLIN FIRTH The film manages to overcome the cliche of similar films that portray typical master-servant relationships.

Throughout the film, Johansson’s and Firth’s performances remain understated yet powerful—like the painting itself—and they come together beautifully to capture the truth behind the painting. (Janelle Greenwood) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

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★★★★

RUSSELL CROWE AND PAUL BETTANY Weir buffs will get a kick out of watching this film and remembering The Truman Show. While Truman’s aquaticoriented scenes introduced the director’s ability to craft stimulating scenes of sea-swept peril, Master and Commander achieves a far higher degree of oceanic fanfare. It’s a glorious tale of adventure on the high seas sure to put wind in any landlubber’s sails. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy.

MIRACLE ★★★ KURT RUSSELL AND PATRICIA CLARKSON America’s victory may not have actually been a miracle in the spiritual sense of the word, but what Miracle gets right is the feeling of national desperation that was extinguished by the unpredictable triumph of 20 college-aged hockey players. It was something the country needed then and something Disney obviously thinks we need now. It’s an inspirational blast from the past, and that’s something to quack about. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE PERFECT SCORE ★ SCARLETT JOHANSSON AND CHRIS EVANS Sure, this is customary MTV movie candy, a light-as-air ode to teenage carelessness and troublemaking indulgence, but laughs shouldn’t come at such a high premium of logic. This tiresome teen truffle is outdated in every way, from its unbearable Matrix homage to its lame attempt at stylish thievery. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy RETURN OF THE KING ★★★★ ELIJAH WOOD AND IAN MCKELLAN Even if The Return of the King doesn’t win the grand prize on Oscar night, anything short of best director victory for Peter Jackson would be an unforgivable injustice. He has raised the bar for fantasy and redefined themes of friendship, honor and courage on a grippingly grand and poignantly intimate scale. Besides its structural limitations, The Return of the King is more than a rousing ending to a celebrated legend; it’s a battle cry for epic filmmaking. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy TORQUE ★ ICE CUBE Take The Fast and the Furious, remove anything that made that film worthwhile, and the result would be something like Torque. Loud, idiotic and predictable at a level that can only begin to be described, Torque has arrived to take over the local multiplex.(Andrew Vecelas) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

YOU GOT SERVED ★ RAZ B AND LIL’ FIZZ You Got Served is a mistake as a film. A hopeless cross of 106th and Park and any teen film from the last five years, You Got Served is among the worst. Even considering all the film’s problems, it still may be worth a gander for its unthinkable and intriguing dances. Whatever the box office outcome, it certainly won’t be difficult to rationalize picking this one off the shelves at Blockbuster in a few months in favor of braving the cold to see it in the theater.

(Andrew crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

OPENING THIS WEEKEND 50 FIRST DATES ADAM SANDLER AND DREW BARRYMORE In their last film together, The Wedding Singer, Barrymore and Sandler floored audiences with their comedy. In their new film 50 First Dates, Sandler plays a veterinarian living in Hawaii who seduces and uses vacationing women. He gives up his life of many women for one woman who can’t remember who he is. Barrymore’s character suffers from short-term memory loss, and Sandler tries to woo her every time they “meet.� Hilarity ensues. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend CITY OF GOD ALEXANDRE RODRIGUES AND LEANDRO FIRMINO Growing up in Cidade de Deus, the most violent housing delopment in Rio de Janeiro, Busca-Pe learns to see the world through a camera instead of through bars. Through his eyes he tells the story of the violence that is so riddled throughout his world and ours. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend

THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE MICHELE CAUCHETEUX AND MICHEL ROBIN Champion was orphaned as a child and raised by his grandmother, Madame Souza, who introduced him to cycling by giving him the gift of a tricycle when he was a boy. After rigorous training, he makes it to the Tour de France, where he and other competitors are kidnapped.

Madame Souza and her dog Bruno’s search for Champion lead them to Belleville, home of the French Mafia where Mme. Souza joins the Belleville Triplets, a jazz band. She discovers that Champion is being held by the mafia Godfather, and all hell breaks loose in this animated film.

Playing at Boardman’s Art Theatre. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend

BOARDMAN’S ART THEATRE 1-800-BEST PLACE (800-237-8752) or 1-217-355-0068 eTickets/Reservations and info. at www.BoardmansTheatres.com Exclusive HPS-4000 & SDDS/DTS/DD Presentations

126 W. Church St., Champaign Oscar nominee for Best Animated Feature and Best Song!.

The Triplets of Belleville PG-13

Showtimes: Daily at 5:30 p.m., 7:30 p.m., 9:30 p.m.

Matinees on Sat/Sun at 3:30 p.m.

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CONCERT FOR GEORGE Various Artists Boardman’s Art Theatre is running Concert for George, a movie of and about the tribute concert for the late, former Beatle. Interviews and performances by artists such as Eric Clapton make this movie a memorable musical performance. (Paul Wagner) Midnight this weekend and next at Boardman’s Art Theatre

Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

CATCH THAT KID ★★★ KRISTEN STEWART AND SAM ROBARDS The entertaining Catch That Kid will capture the imaginations of most pre-high-schoolers without insulting their intelligence or pandering to popular vulgarity and explicit sexuality. Parents won’t have to worry about the film’s negative messages because it’s all played for comic fun and values are reinforced in the end. (Sid Slobodnik) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

buzz

“A moving and memorable Oscarworthy tribute to George Harrison.�...Hollywood Reporter Online.

Concert for George A Celebration of the Life and Music of George Harrison PG-13

Showtimes: Midnight Fri/Sat Feb. 13 & 14, All tickets $6.00...Final Weekend!

MONSTER (R) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 2:40 5:00 7:30 10:00 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 12:20 2:40 5:00 7:30 SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 12:30 10:00 1:00 2:40 3:00 3:40 4:50 5:00 5:40 7:00 7:10 7:40 9:00 9:30 ★ MYSTIC RIVER (R) Fri. 9:40 11:00 11:40 11:50 Thu. 12:50 4:00 7:00 9:50 Sun. - Thu. 12:20 12:30 1:00 2:40 3:00 3:40 4:50 5:00 5:40 BUTTERFLY EFFECT (R) Fri. & 7:00 7:10 7:40 9:00 9:30 9:40 Sat. 12:20 2:40 5:00 7:30 10:00 12:20 BAD SANTA (R) Fri. & Sat. 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 12:20 2:40 5:00 7:30 10:00 BARBERSHOP 2 (PG–13) (2 TAD HAMILTON (PG–13) Fri. & SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 12:20 1:30 Sat. 5:40 10:15 12:10 2:40 4:00 5:00 6:50 7:20 9:20 Sun. - Thu. 5:40 10:15 9:50 12:00 12:15 Sun. - Wed. 12:20 1:30 2:40 ALONG CAME POLLY (PG–13) 4:00 5:00 6:50 7:20 9:20 9:50 Fri. & Sat. 12:40 2:40 5:10 7:20 Thu. 12:20 1:30 2:40 4:00 5:00 9:30 11:30 6:50 9:20 9:50 Sun. - Thu. 12:40 2:40 5:10 7:20 9:30 MIRACLE (PG) (2 SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 12:40 1:10 4:00 4:30 7:10 BIG FISH (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 12:20 3:00 7:40 7:40 10:00 11:00 Sun. - Thu. 12:40 1:10 4:00 4:30 CHEAPER BY DOZEN (PG) Fri. 7:10 7:40 10:00 - Thu. 12:40 2:50 5:00 CATCH THAT KID (PG) Fri. Sat. COLD MOUNTAIN (R) Fri. & Mon. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 Thu. 7:00 10:00 7:10 9:10 Sun. 1:00 3:00 5:00 9:10 ★ RETURN OF THE KING (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 12:20 4:20 8:20 ★ PEARL EARRING (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:10 7:10 9:20 ★ CITY OF GOD (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:40 YOU GOT SERVED (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:50 3:10 5:10 7:20 Sneak Preview: WELCOME 9:20 11:20 Sun. - Thu. 12:50 3:10 5:10 7:20 TO MOOSEPORT (PG–13) Sun. 7:00 9:20 ◆ 50 FIRST DATES (PG–13) (3

Showtimes for 2/13 thru 2/19

buzz

FIRST THING’S FIRST...

The rip heard ’round the world and other naughty Super Bowl moments

BY MICHAEL COULTER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

W

3

FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004 | MTV IS SELF-CENSORING ...SURPRISE, SURPRISE.WAIT, HASN�T MTV SUCKED FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS?

hen I was a little kid, I remember believing I would never smoke or drink. I held onto those beliefs firmly, right up until I was about 15. Things change. There was also a time I couldn’t imagine enjoying spinach, kissing a girl or spending a Sunday afternoon watching golf on TV. Yeah, you get older and things change. There was a time about 10 days ago when I could never imagine myself uttering the following sentence, but here it is. Enough of the boob talk already.

Granted, I dig boobs and all that, but if we keep talking about them like this, it’s going to make any sort of breast talk seem commonplace. If this is going to be a country where talk of boobies isn’t dirty and social unacceptable, then maybe I better start looking for a new home. If this talk doesn’t stop, we’re going to suck all the joy out of the mammary gland, um, so to speak.

It’s been more than a week since Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson’s breast during the Super Bowl halftime show and I think it may be time to put that tired moment in history to bed.

Geez Louise, people, is our country this easily amused/offended? Is this video clip going to be the Zapruder film of the next 50 years? If folks had studied that assassination clip in 1963 with the same vigor we’re now looking at a halftime show, we might have actually known who shot the president and from where.

It’s a nice idea, really. I loved the movie JFK and this might make a nice sequel. Oliver Stone could direct and Kevin Costner could have a pointer to show all of America how Justin couldn’t have been the one to expose Janet’s mammary gland. “Look at the tape, it’s obvious. Janet’s breast went back, and to the left; back, and to the left; back, and to the left; completely inconsistent with a frontal exposure. There had to be a second exposer, and thus, a conspiracy.�

They say it was an accident, but no one is believing that so much. What they should be saying is, “We didn’t mean to do that, and even if we did, we didn’t expect to get in this much trouble for it. Unless we aren’t getting in trouble for it. then we meant to.� It’s hard to tell how much trouble anyone is in.

A lady from Tennessee is suing Miss Jackson and some others claiming millions of

citizens are owed monetary damages for exposure to lewd conduct. She asks the court to consider this as a class action suit for the purpose of damages. Wow, something like 80 million people watched the game, so that could be a huge settlement. My only economic experience with breasts has been to pay to see them, not be paid to see them. What a wonderful idea: Someone pays you to look at her breast.

That’s a platform I can get behind.

I suppose I’m only joking about it because I really don’t have an opinion. I’m not sure I was offended personally, but I can see how many people were. Should Janet and Justin be punished for what happened? Absolutely.

They should be punished not only for what happened at halftime, but also for all the crapass music they release. I’m offended by every fiber in both their beings for many reasons and no punishment could be too harsh, as far as I’m concerned.

My point is, if you’re only looking for offensive things, why stop with just the breast? Kid Rock wore an American flag as a poncho.

That’s offensive to me. The fact that it’s a flag is sort of secondary. I just don’t find ponchos appealing on a man.

Nelly seemed to have a very itchy unit that day as well, but that’s sort of been lost in the shuffle. I’m glad Justin didn’t try to scratch Nelly’s penis for him during the halftime spectacular. No amount of apologizing is going to make up for an exposed member on television, even if Nelly had covered the tip with some sort of fancy bejeweled sticker.

If you get right down to it, any true football fan will tell you the concept of a halftime show is, in itself, offensive beyond belief, whether it’s Carol Channing singing “Hello Dolly� or a Backstreet Boy dry-humping the sister of a pedophile. Any true football fan uses halftime to drain his beer-soaked bladder. This takes most of halftime since they have “held it in� for the entire first half.

It’s just that the whole damned day was supposed to be about football to begin with and now it’s about a boob. It strange how children are expected to breast feed for the first few years of their life and then disavow any knowledge or interest in the breast until they are out of high school. I bet most of the complainers couldn’t even tell you the game’s score, they only remember the breast. They missed a really great game.

Michael Coulter is a videographer at Parkland College. He writes a weekly e-mail column, “This Sporting Life� and has hosted several local comedy shows.

News of the weird LEAD STORY On Jan. 16, as bonfires burned across Italy to commemorate the annual festival of St. Anthony, the town of Capena continued its yearly addition to the celebration: a day of smoking cigarettes. Residents, including children as young as 6, light up throughout the day in the town’s bonfire. Italy’s recent anti-smoking drive notwithstanding, many Capena parents encouraged the kids (honoring a centuriesold tradition that originated with smoking dried rosemary), pointing out that it was just one day a year, but Italian health professionals believe many kids will develop the habit nonetheless.

SCENES OF THE SURREAL In November, according to the University of Chicago daily newspaper, Chicago Maroon, in a story about a protest by transsexual, gay and lesbian activists to designate more campus restrooms as unisex, an activist said he knew people who had contracted bladder infections from delaying their urination out of anxiety at being forced to choose between the “men’s� room or the “ladies’� room. Said a lesbian activist of the often-used ladies’ room symbol of a silhouetted person wearing a dress: “Going into (that room) implies that we are

willing to be associated with that image.�

NO LONGER WEIRD Adding to the list of stories that were formerly weird but which now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation: (69) Medical examiners (or funeral home officials or medical researchers) who accidentally misplace one or more parts when a deceased’s body is returned to the family, as the Massachusetts medical examiner was accused of doing (the heart of one man, the brain of another) in October.

And (70) the deadly annual Muslim Hajj stampedes, which result when tens of thousands of pilgrims try to get close enough to three pillars (representing Satan) in order to toss 21 stones at them, and which this year saw 244 trampled to death (January).

COPYRIGHT 2004 CHUCK SHEPARD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

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MAN,THE FUNNY SENTENCE OVER THERE IS LONG-WINDED | FEBRUARY 12-18, 2004

BY MARISSA MONSON | EDITOR IN CHIEF

The Story

5 Q & A w/ Gerry Mann

Driving westbound on Green Street toward my place of employment, a large eye sore met me square in the face for months one end, it seemed.

Later, when I sat down to work and glanced out the window, the same blemish was there. The thing that bothers me most about the billboard across the street from the office is that it was clearly put in place by people that just didn’t get it. “Retain the Chief. Return Cantor.”

Say what you will about Chancellor Nancy Cantor, her bubbly personality and quest to retire the Chief, but that wasn’t what made her viable to the community and to the University.

As she says goodbye to ChampaignUrbana and embarks on her journey to New York—a state where I am certain she will be appreciated—most people here won’t realize what impact she really had on the University.

Anti-affirmative action folks, pro-chief individuals and other Cantor detractors just won’t get it; that is, until our University stops growing, diversity is no longer a priority and the void of leadership is felt.

Indeed, the billboard may have “nudged” Cantor out sooner, and maybe

For the past two years, Champaign resident Gerry Mann has been running Champaign’s candy...

Arts 7 Sylvia play review Man’s best friend or woman’s worst nightmare?

That is the question in Parkland Theatre’s...

Music 10 Mendoza Music Line According to our beloved 107.1 The Planet, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”...

Calendar 12 Valentine’s Day shows Valentines Day ... the heartfelt sentimental holiday for some, the dreaded...

Film

20 Barbershop 2 makes cut It’s no coincidence that Barbershop 2: Back in buisness was released in the middle of...

Editor in chief Marissa Monson Art Directors Meaghan Dee & Carol Mudra Copy Chief Chris Ryan Music Jacob Dittmer Art Katie Richardson Film Paul Wagner Community Emily Wahlheim Calendar Maggie Dunphy Photography Editor Christine Litas Calendar Coordinators Lauren Smith, Cassie Conner, Erin Scottberg Photography Christine Litas, Adam Young, Roderick Gedey Copy Editors Chris Ryan, Suzanne Sitrick, Jen Hubert, Erin Green Designers Adam Obendorf, Mark Hauge, Sue Janna Truscott, Chris Depa, Glenn Cochon Production Manager Theon Smith Sales Manager Jon Maly Marketing/Distribution Melissa Schleicher, Maria Erickson Publisher Mary Cory

Got an opinion?

E-mail us at buzz@readbuzz.com or you can send us a letter at 1001 S. Wright St., Champaign, IL 61820.

We reserve the right to edit submissions.

Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Free speech is an important part of the democratic process. Exercise your rights.

All editorial questions or letters to the editor should be sent to buzz@readbuzz.com or 244-9898 or buzz, 57 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

Copyright Illini Media Company 2004

odds & end FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

the Chief will be around for a while longer, but in the future, billboards and picket signs won’t solve the problems this University faces. You can bet, though, Cantor would have put forth the effort to solve those problems.

I guess the only positive of Cantor’s transfer to Syracuse would be the obvious: I won’t have to stare at billboards anymore, or at least until someone else is bold enough to push the envelope.

To Nancy Cantor: Thank you for your tireless effort to create diversity and multicultural education at our University. You will be missed.

-M.M.

N o m atter if you are in the m ood for breakfast, lunch or dinner you can ease those hunger pains and pick up a buzz at the follow ing locations:

hungry for buzz O rig in al H o u se o f P an cakes 1909 W . S pringfield A ve., C ham paign B u ffalo W ild W in g s 907 M arketview D r., C ham paign S teak & S h ake 1709 S . N eil, C ham paign

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Happy Valentine Daze, Aries! Here's an important bulletin from poet Emily Dickinson: Until you have been in love, you cannot become yourself. I'd like you to try that revolutionary idea on for size, Aries. Do this experiment. For a given period -- say the coming week or the next ten years -- act as if the only way you can ever find out who you really are is to lose yourself in sublime yearning for a worthy partner. Assume, for the sake of argument, that one of the best strategies for becoming the unique masterpiece you were born to be is to help a person you love become the unique masterpiece he or she was meant to be.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Happy Valentine Daze, Taurus! The Goddess of Love, Aphrodite Herself, has asked me to remind you that you have always been in love. You will always be in love. In fact, it is impossible for you not to be in love. You'd be unable to get out of bed each morning unless there were someone or something that roused your heart and stirred your imagination.

So please just admit that you are alive because of love; that you are made of love. Now write a list of the ten things you love most, and devote some time in each of the next seven days to expressing your appreciation.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Happy Valentine Daze, Gemini! After careful meditation about what advice would be most likely to energize your love life, I've decided to suggest that you say your prayers while having sex with a saint in a sacred place. If you can't manage all that at once, at least try praying while doing the wild thing, or fooling around with a saint, or making out in a church or temple, or talking dirty to God. One way or another, Gemini, you should blend earthly pleasures and spiritual aspirations. Here's a quote to write on your mirror or your forearm: "I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love." - Henry Ward Beecher.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Cancerian!

After strenuous meditation about what advice would be most likely to heat up and deepen your love life, I've decided you need a stiff challenge.That's why I'm inviting you to have an epic showdown with your fears about love. What keeps you from stripping away your outmoded inhibitions and brazenly exploring the mysteries of attraction? What doubts prevent you from enjoying regular soul-to-soul gazes with your ancient future? Wouldn't you love to shed your psychic armor and summon the chutzpah to whisper in someone's ear, "I'm not afraid to ask for everything."

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Leo! After careful meditation about what advice might galvanize your love life, I've decided to share a thought from Jewish mystic Lawrence Kushner. "Everyone carries with them at least one piece to someone else's puzzle," he wrote in his book, Honey from the Rock. In

other words, you have in your possession certain clues to your loved ones' destinies -- secrets they haven't discovered themselves. And in my astrological opinion, it is the right time and place to hand over those clues -- to make a gift of the puzzle pieces that are most needed by the people you care about. So search your depths for insights you've never communicated. Tell truths you haven't found a way to express before now. More than you know, you have the power to mobilize your companions' dreams.

those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person." - W. Somerset Maugham. 2. "People often start by falling in love, and they go on for years without realizing that love must change into some other love which is unlike the original." - Iris Murdoch. 3. "Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new." - Ursula K. Le Guin. 4. "A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day." - Andre Maurois.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Happy Valentine Daze, Capricorn!

After careful meditation about what advice might fertilize your love life, I've decided to alert you to two practical principles. The first comes to you courtesy of philosopher Rollo May: "We receive love roughly in proportion to our capacity to love." In other words: To be adored more, adore more. Your second utilitarian theorem was immortalized by the character Dicky Fox in the movie "Jerry Maguire." "If you don't love everybody," he said, "you can't sell anybody." In other words:Your most effective strategy for getting what you want is to feel tender affection for the whole world.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Virgo! After careful meditation about what advice might purify and supercharge your love life, I'm making this suggestion: For one week, concentrate all your passion and ingenuity on learning to love yourself better. Write at least one love letter and one love poem to yourself.Treat yourself to pleasures that relax your intelligence and open your wild heart. Gaze in the mirror and whisper a flood of sweet nothings. Give yourself thoughtful, surprising gifts. And finally, propose marriage to yourself and perform a wedding ceremony in which you promise to cherish and honor yourself until the end of time.

1 Sports column?

5 Standard deviation symbol 10 War fare?

14 Like many a hurricane 15 Allege in defense 16 Coat or skirt preceder 17 Disappointing election results 19 Seasoned 20 Help 21 Equal 22 Channeled 23 Resolute advice to the hesitant 27 Stuff for surfacing 28 He’s found in the Prado 29 Community contest 30 Stumpers?

33 Flags 34 Hal Foster comic character 35 One associated with honesty 36 No one special 38 Castilian hero

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Expert on the rules Good relations Manages, with “out” N.Y. minutes?

Fountain in New Orleans Word for word: Abbr.

1985 sequel to a classic 1939 film Donny or Marie Osmond, e.g.

Unit of nautical displacement Tall topper Gee Like bats Biblical book Available Small animal shelter Short time out?

They follow cuts Dict. offering

✍ HOMEWORK:

Rob Brezsny's Free Will ☎ Astrology freewillastrolo-

Send love letters, flowery poetry, lavish adorations, and gourmet chocolate to me at P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Happy Valentine Daze, Sagittarius! After careful meditation about what advice might beautify and elevate your love life, I've decided to offer you these insights. 1. "We are not the same person this year as last; nor are

DOWN 1 First name in animation 2 “This ___ Youth” (Kenneth Lonergan play) 3 Just learning about 4 Discovery of Galileo

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EUROTRIP!

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EUROTRIP is the new movie from DreamWorks Pictures about four friends traveling through Europe experiencing every lascivious, larcenous and lecherous indulgance Europe has to offer.

It’s a comedy that gives new meaning to the phrase “foreign relations.”

Go to www.readbuzz.com to post your own crazy travel story. The first 50 people to do so will

win a pass

to a special advance screening of EUROTRIP on February 19th.

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Happy Valentine Daze, Pisces! After careful meditation about what advice might enrich your love life, I've decided you need a more joyously rowdy and rambunctious approach to togetherness. Consider the possibility of making love with funny hats on while watching "The Simpsons," or shaving each other in the bathtub while singing tunes from Broadway musicals, or getting naked at the breakfast table and trying to throw Cheerios in each other's mouths while an instructional CD in how to speak Esperanto plays in the background.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Happy Valentine Daze, Scorpio! Is it really love? That's always a good meditation subject for you passion addicts. Here are some guidelines. 1. "Love asks you beautiful, unanswerable questions." - Carl Sandburg. 2. "Love brings to life whatever is dead around us." - Franz Rosenzweig. 3. "Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other." - Rainer Maria Rilke. 4. "Love is the only game where two can play and both win." - Erma Freesman. 5. "Falling in love is a lot like dying.You never get to do it enough to become good at it." - My Scorpio friend Elise. 6. "Love is like a well in the wilderness where time watches over the wandering lightning." - Pablo Neruda.

5 Comparatively quick 6 Long series of woes 7 Lee, e.g.: Abbr.

8 ___ wheel 9 Plugs 10 Burn 11 Gripping read 12 Brutally destroy 13 Season opener?

18 Miss, south of the border 21 Parsley relative 23 Fine accompaniment?

24 Promise, e.g.

25 À la Poe 26 Fractures 28 Exile of 1302 30 Kitchen gizmo 31 Really big 32 Rights shouldn’t be taken from it 33 Frosty 36 No performers are found here 37 Red sky, maybe 41 Colorize, e.g.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Happy Valentine Daze, Aquarius!

After careful meditation about how I might help you perfect your love life, I've decided that all you need is my authorization to be more mercurial and improvisational. So here's a Turkish proverb for you to try on for size: "To prepare for love, learn to run through snow, leaving no footprints." Next, see how much fun you can stir up by taking to heart this Italian proverb: "Love rules without rules." Finally, Aquarius, experiment with this advice from motivational author, Sark: "Love imperfectly. Be a love idiot. Let yourself forget any love ideal."

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Valentine Daze, Libra! I'm hereby declaring a love emergency. Right now you need love more than you need food and drink. More than that:You need to crave love with an almost crazed lyrical ferocity . . . with a reverent, burning hunger that some traditional astrologers would say Libras aren't capable of. At this pivotal moment, you've got to find a way to claim Erica Jong's subversive words as your own: "Love is everything it's cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more."

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS

PHOTO | CHRISTINE LITAS

Volume 2, Number 1 COVER DESIGN | Meaghan Dee

buzz FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2004 | I’M NOT GOOD AT CROSSWORD PUZZLES

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Valentines Day sucks/rocks; you choose (Page 12) FILM

The Bread, My Sweet leaves bitter taste (Page 21)

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