Buzz Magazine: Feb. 22, 2007 by Buzz Magazine

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OFFICIALLY UNOFFICIAL

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, YO U ’ L L R LIKE THIS E M M U S A AFTER

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The Who’s Tommy, Sweet Charity, Wicked Bill Irwin Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, The Goat, or Who is Sylvia?, Largely New York Judy Kuhn She Loves Me, Chess, Les Misérables, The Mystery of Edwin Drood Denis O’Hare Take Me Out, Assassins, Sweet Charity, Cabaret Michelle Pawk Hollywood Arms, Chicago, Crazy for You, Cabaret Christopher Sieber Spamalot, Chicago, Into the Woods, Thoroughly Modern Millie

no.8

Cover Design • Agatha Budys Editor in Chief • Tatyana Safronova Art Director • Nikita Sorokin Copy Chief • Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear • Carlye Wisel Stage, Screen & in Between • Keri Carpenter Around Town • Evangeline Politis CU Calendar • Annette Gonzalez Photography Editor • Amelia Moore Designers • Renee Okumura, Agatha Budys, Maria Surawska Calendar Coordinators • Caitlin Cremer, Katie Heika, Bonnie Steinberg Photography • Amelia Moore, Greg Hinchman Copy Editors • Lisa Fisherkeller, Emily Ciaglia, Ilana Katz, Whitney Harris Staff Writers • Brian McGovern, Carlye Wisel, Amy Meyer Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Mike Ingram, Kim Rice, Kate Ruin Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

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UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 |4-9| 4 7 9 | 10 - 14 | 10 11 12 13 14

INTRO This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN The Unofficial Controversy • Stephanie Prather Community Snapshot • Laura Sullivan The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR The Never’s “Antarctica” Concept • Imran Sidiquee Defending the Right to Rock • Jeff Montgomery John Mayer Concert Review • Carlye Wisel Spin it/Flip it/Reverse it • Brian McGovern CU Sound Revue • Mike Ingram

| 15 - 17 |

CU CALENDAR

| 18 - 24 |

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN

18 22 24

The Buzzcars Movie reviews “Madama Butterfly” preview • Alina Dain

| 25 - 26 |

CLASSIFIEDS

| 27 - 32 |

THE STINGER

27 27 28 29 29

Doin’ it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Free Will Astrology Letters to the Editor Likes and Gripes

151 Bank Street, Greenwich Village, NYC

tatyana safronova EDITOR’S NOTE This year, Unof f icia l is taking an even more unofficial turn. No more public urination. No more attending classes drunk. Oh damn no! The last time the government tried to get rid of a big party — 1920-1933 in the U.S. — it didn’t exactly go over well; there were the speakeasies and black markets for booze. Needless to stay, the 18th Amendment didn’t stick around and a whole other amendment had to be ratified to get rid of Prohibition. On the other hand, perhaps making Unofficial off icially unoff icial — which is what Mayor Schweighart and the administration at this University hope to do — will make it just that much more ... official. You follow? The forbidden fruit tastes sweeter. The bar industr y is strong in this town, especially on campus where a crawl on Green Street and up Sixth with a couple of turns would encompass nine bars, not counting other bars just a stone’s throw away. It is a status quo to drink if you are a student on here and a holiday that celebrates that tradition won’t wane any time soon. I’m not much of a drinker. In fact, I admit that I’ve never actually celebrated Unofficial. The sight of drunk girls waddling to class and moaning that they’ve lost their fl ip-flops has left INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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a bitter taste in my mouth. Public drunkenness in general on a weekday morning makes me shudder. It’s the one day out of the year when we get to do this, students will say. Not only is that not true, but that one day encompasses all that is “normal” for many students: binge drinking, blacking out and coming back to get more. Despite my personal apprehension about excessive drinking, however, the holiday as well as the popularity of drinking and drunkenness ref lects a wider societal problem. For young adults, alcohol turns more into an obsession and a disease. It becomes that forbidden fruit, in fact, when students go hog-wild in bars like ours where one can be as young as 18 to get in. The University, the local governments, the parents and the cops should think harder about the excesses of alcohol, and not blame Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day and Scott Cochrane for all that’s wrong with college kids, and especially not for hospitalizations and deaths; bad judgment is bad judgment all year round, whether you down a large amount of alcohol or get behind the wheel of a car or a motorcycle while under the inf luence. March 2 will be my third Unofficial, and the closest I’ve ever come to drinking on this holiday is when my friends and I made wine last year. And I use the term “wine” in its broadest form; fermented Welch’s grape juice and bread yeast do not a wine make. This year we hope to make sake (rice wine). Maybe just for tradition, I’ll add some green food coloring to my glass. sounds from the scene

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I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER SUBSTITUTE!

michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

That name again is Mr. Plow Adventures in digging out my car not once, but twice Well, our first big snowfall in a while is finally over and those cold-ass temperatures have fallen by the wayside also. The whole thing sort of reminded me of watching the movie Titanic. It was sort of pretty, sucked most of the time, and afterwards I could begrudgingly admit that I was somewhat glad I went through it. It kind of makes you numb after a while, but that’s the kind of ebb and flow I enjoy about living in the Midwest. Something like that has to build at least a little bit of character. I didn’t really know what to expect at the beginning of last week. I’ll admit that I think everything is generally some sort of conspiracy, but I’ve noticed that the weather forecasters around here have cried wolf many times over the last two or three years. “Oh, get ready for a big blast of the white stuff!” Then nothing much really happens. Who could blame them, I suppose. The winter weather has been sort of boring. So they come on and wave their little hands around and tell me it’s gonna be a badass blizzard and I sort of shrug and think I’ll believe it when I see it. Let me tell you, once Monday evening came, I saw it and I believed it. So, my apologies to all the weather folk. Holy freaking crap, the snow was coming down in a horizontal pattern for what, 24 hours? Longer? Every time I left the house for a few minutes to go outside, I’d take the dog with me, just in case I had to get all Jack London on it or something. I felt almost sorry for the little guy. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him crapping in the house, but still. Though I’ll admit I’ve never tried to relieve myself standing in snow a foot over my head, I bet it’s a pretty difficult thing to pull off. He always had a stunned little look on his face when he emerged again from the snow drift. He came through it all swimmingly though, probably better than I did. Let me just say first off, I’m not bitching about the crews plowing the snow. I know it’s a tough job under tough circumstance and they did a bang-up job and all that. Still, it’s a bit tough to actually know what to do about the car situation. I began to dig my car out on Wednesday. I considered doing it on Tuesday, but the lure of a bar and watching the snow fall as I threw down a couple of beers proved far too great for a weak man like myself.

So, on Wednesday, I started the diggingout process. Fortunately, a couple of kids were walking by with snow shovels and I signed them up for the work. First of all, I love entrepreneurial children and second of all, $20 is a small price to pay to possibly avoid a heart attack. The kids did a bang-up job with a minimal amount of pain-in-the-ass supervision from myself. After that, I retired back to the comfort of the living room and a glass of scotch. About an hour later, I heard the snow plow go by again. I couldn’t even look out the window until I slugged down the last half of the whiskey. My damned car was plowed in again. This time, it was really plowed in, like a little silver marble in a dumpster of Styrofoam. I thought it best not to attempt the digging out process again at that point, mainly because there weren’t any children to do it for me and also because I was half in the bag. The car stayed buried until the next day. I suited up and began digging again, a hungover archeologist who sincerely hoped he would f ind some sort of automobile when the dig was finished. It was down there all right and it really only took about two hours to completely dislodge it. You know what though, even that didn’t bother me all that much. Sure I was cold and sweaty at the same time, and sure I ended up losing my voice for a couple of days, but I sort of felt like a frontiersman. Also, as far as the losing the voice thing goes, many people actually prefer me that way. Actually, most people. Anyway, it was nice to know that a big-ass snowfall still can’t whip my ass yet. In another few years, it may be a different story, but as of now, I can honestly look at a 20-inch snowfall like it’s a big pussy. It will all make that first 70-degree day that much sweeter. Lastly, this has nothing to do w ith the snowfall, and I don’t consider myself any sort of spokesman for guys who shave their heads, but I think I speak for all of us when I say that we had nothing to do with that whole Britney Spea r s head- shav i ng i ncident. Ser iously, something like that does nothing but make us all look bad. I mean, if I actually thought I still had some hair up there that would grow back, I’d stop all the shaving just to avoid guilt by association. For God’s sake, somebody do something with that stupid little girl.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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STILL FEELING THE LUCK OF theTHE IRISH? unof f ic ial c ontrove r sy STEPHANIE PRATHER • STAFF WRITER |

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IF YOU LOVE YOUR JOB, YOU HAVEN’T WORKED A DAY IN YOUR LIFE.

adeline Mahan, a University sophomore, has a lot to look forward to this semester; she has plans to do well in her classes, head to the Caribbean during spring break and celebrate her favorite holiday, Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day. Infamous for littering Campustown with green bar crawl T-shirts and green beer, Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day has become a modern tradition at the University of Illinois. “It’s fun waking up early, making food with your friends and wearing festive colors,” says Mahan. Unofficial was created in 1996 by local bar owner Scott Cochrane, owner of campus establishments like the Clybourne and C.O. Daniels, as an effort to boost business. Since the beginning, students have latched onto the holiday, and March 2 will mark the 11th annual Unoff icial St. Patrick’s Day. The unsanctioned celebration is legendary among students who choose to observe it by drinking alcohol throughout the day. Students like Mahan say they celebrate the holiday because of its carefree nature. Some start as early as 8 a.m. and go late into the night, traveling from bar to bar in packs to get in on the green-themed drink specials. Many would consider Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day part of the quintessential college experience, but the death of an alumna last year, caused by a motorcycle accident in the early morning hours after Unofficial, has officially spawned a full-blown attack on the holiday by University administration and the Champaign City Council.

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at Boardman’s Art Theatre For tickets & film schedule visit: www.boardmansarttheatre.com sounds from the scene

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UNNOFICIAL CONTINUED FROM PG. 5 In a Feb. 12 meeting, the Champaign City Council supported a proposal to give Champaign police more power to shut down nuisance parties on March 2. Police will have the authority to shut down such parties and cite hosts with a fine of $290 if they have been warned within the last 12 months. Council members consider parties a public nuisance when at least one serious city code violation occurs. Serious violations include property damage, assault, battery, possession of drug paraphernalia and disorderly conduct. Two or more other violations could also elicit a citation, including public urination, possession of cannabis and public indecency. In their effort to reduce binge drinking, the council also decided to expand Mayor Jerry Schweighart’s Emergency Order Powers on March 2 to restrict kegs to one per residence and ban the sale of beer pitchers and undiluted shots in bars. The University administration is hoping to discourage students from participating by implementing r igid restr ictions to reduce classroom disruption. Student Body President Ryan Ruzic announced in the Feb. 14 Illinois Student Senate Meeting that the Student Disciplinar y Comm ittee voted to dism iss students from the University who disrupt class on Unofficial. Ruzic told The Daily Illini that student members of the committee had been out-voted by the faculty majority and he hopes the administration will inform students about the new rule. To enforce the new policy the University administration plans to place additional staff in classrooms on Unofficial. In an e-mail, Associate Chancellor Robin Kaler responded to questions concerning the holiday and its new rules on behalf of Chancellor Richard Herman. “Students at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign have so many meaningful and memorable experiences,” Kaler wrote. “If Unofficial went away, it wouldn’t diminish the students’ experience at all and it would reduce the possibility that a student’s time at Illinois would end tragically.” But despite efforts to eliminate the holiday by the University, it shows no signs of disappearing and both local businesses and campus police are preparing. te' shurt' manager John Lee says he expects business as usual for Unofficial. “I think people are still going to order T-shirts. It should be pretty close to last year,” says Lee. “We’re starting to get some orders now.” te' shurt', at 711 S. Wright St. in Champaign, has made T-shirts for the event since its beginning, many of which include phrases like “Kiss me, I’m Irish” or “Kiss me, I’m drunk.” While businesses like te' shurt' are seeing sales increases, the University of Illinois Police Department knows there wil l be an boost in public intoxication and rowdy behavior

and is beef ing up their force accordingly for the day. Lieutenant V.G. “Skip” Frost of the University of Illinois Police Department says his force will treat Unoff icial the same as any other big weekend on campus and will increase their presence in the residence halls and on the streets. “We’ll be very visible that day,” says Frost. He strongly discourages students from attending classes under the influence of alcohol and to avoid public urination. Champaign, Urbana and University police departments will be looking out for underage drinking, fake ID cards and unruly behavior that is disruptive to the community. According to the Champaign Police Department, last year there were 147 calls for police service, which rose 32 percent from 2005. There were 64 notices for underage possession of alcohol and 28 open container violations. The event’s creator, Scott Cochrane, was removed from the Champaign’s Liquor Advisory Board after last year’s event. Cochrane did not respond to requests for an interview. The Irish Illini, a campus group closely associated with the holiday, were reprimanded after last year’s event by the administration for promoting drink specials for campus bars through their e-mail list. The incident caused the group to lose its University endorsement, but the group regained its Registered Student Organization status in September and, according to their Facebook group, still plan to celebrate Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day. In December, Chancellor Richard Herman assembled a survey of students and faculty to assess the significance of Unofficial. “The event has begun to draw alumni and others to town for this day,” Keler wrote of their findings. “I seriously question whether this is what we want to be known for when so many at the University and in the community are working to create an image of a vibrant community.” Of the citations given last year on Unofficial, 44 were issued to students from other universities. Mahan says she expects friends from other schools to visit and that the visitors add to the fun atmosphere. While the tension between the University administration and students increases over Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day, the only certainty is that an abundance of people will still be wearing green and drinking beer on March 2. Mahan still thinks this year’s Unoff icial celebration will be a lot of fun and plans on being careful and staying safe by not attending class while intoxicated, not driving under the inf luence and steering underage friends away from bars. “It’s a day on campus where ever yone’s participating, not just certain groups,” says Mahan. “Even if we’re just drinking, we’re all connected for a day.”

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MAN INVENTED LANGUAGE TO SATISFY HIS DEEP NEED TO COMPLAIN.

community snapshot

KARMA–FREE DINNER LAURA SULLIVAN • STAFF WRITER

RECYCLE

Anything else is just a WASTE.

TOP: Karna Desai, University junior, is served a plate full of “karma-free food” by Bahia Quinlan, University senior, at the Karma Free-Dinner hosted by the Krishna Center of Urbana Monday at the Red Herring Restaurant. ABOVE: Friends eat all they can eat over stimulating conversation. PHOTOS BY AMELIA MOORE AND GREGORY HINCHMAN

n intuitive, bright-eyed couple rises at 7:30 every Monday morning to prepare dinner for 180. But, if they dash bright turmeric in an Indian kichari, they don’t let the spice sizzle on their tongue just yet. If they are mindfully laboring over a massive bowl of tomato chutney, they don’t stick their pinkies in to sample the flavor. Prithu and Danakeli first fill a special stainless steel plate reserved for sanctified “prasadam,” then sit it in front of one of their home altars, which houses 14-inch white marble statues and pictures of their Indian guru. They say a prayer to offer the feast to Krishna. “The difference between the material and spiritual world is doing something for Krishna’s satisfaction,” says Danakeli. “When prasadam is eaten by others it brings them joy.” More than 25 people swished into a long line before 6 p.m. on Monday, despite every mismatched seat being taken, for the $5 “karma-free” vegetarian feast offered by Prithu and Danakeli. sounds from the scene

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THE ONLY THING STRONGER THAN A MOTHERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LOVE IS A GARLIC BREATH.

Rebecca Russell, UI senior, forks a Free Dinner sponsored by the Krishna Center of Urbana, Monday night at the Red Herring Vegetarian Restaurant in Urbana. PHOTO BY AMELIA MOORE

29 E. Marketview Dr. Champaign, Il 61820 (217) 366-8200

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â&#x20AC;˘

The feast was toiled over at home, transported by van and finished off in the Red Herring kitchen at the Channing-Murray Foundation, which has been holding these dinners for the past five years. The swirling, hand-painted wonderland of the Red Herring seems a fitting backdrop for the Krishna Dinners, which are held from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. every Monday during the school year. Earthy hipsters inch down the line to drop their $5 into a basket, making change as needed. Prithu prefers this system and says he wants to build an environment of trust. From a steaming assembly line, he piles the weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s offerings on a buckling paper plate. A canister of cayenne pepper at the end of the line personalizes the kick. The dinners have been embraced by a community of regulars, who warm the basement with a familiar buzz. Kevin Gadus, a former Chicago chef who now runs a local catering company, Personal Chef Care, says the dinners have a â&#x20AC;&#x153;certain kind of equality, a soulfulness.â&#x20AC;? He likes people-watching at the Krishna Dinners and has made it a tradition to come with retired friend Ray McDermott. McDermott chimes in with a loud voice, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have no idea what I just ate, but it was good.â&#x20AC;? An upstairs neighbor, Mike Canbery, also a volunteer, lounges in house slippers and slides his friendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s untouched desert in front of him. Mike says the Krishna Dinners have become a meeting place for his friends but, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Even if I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know them, I can walk up to any table.â&#x20AC;? Four-year-old Sage Johnson capitalizes on the atmosphere. In communal spirit, he bounces between tables as an impromptu volunteer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I am the trash collector!â&#x20AC;? he commands to empty plates. Danakeli says the food is the â&#x20AC;&#x153;best of the east and west,â&#x20AC;? and the menus mirror the coupleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s many pilgrimages to India. They stock up on papadums, spices and other Indian goods at Chicagoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Patel Brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, a few blocks from the Hare Krishna Center in Rodgerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Park where they first learned how largescale cooking is done. Prithu and Danakeli say they often mellow out some of Indiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more f iery spices. On one Monday menu, a rice dish called kichari was made with split mung beans, spinach and butternut squash. Eggplant pakora was dipped in chickpea f lour and fried crisp and served alongside tomato chutney. A thin, slightly-charred f latbread called papadum and cream of potato soup rounded things out and a f luffy, brownie-esque carob cake dessert teetered on the edge of the bulging plate, making navigation of the packed house more interesting. Prithu and Danakeli believe in Krishna Conciousness and associate with the â&#x20AC;&#x153;all-attractiveâ&#x20AC;? Krishna by chanting the maha mantra and cooking with consciousness, â&#x20AC;&#x153;for Krishnaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pleasure.â&#x20AC;? They believe that in the material world you must exploit other people, but â&#x20AC;&#x153;the spiritual world is serving others.â&#x20AC;? They hope their customers are â&#x20AC;&#x153;getting a taste of that spiritual world.â&#x20AC;?

karma-free five-course meal at the Karma

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NEVER KICK A FRESH TURD ON A HOT DAY.

seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF ONLY 10 MIN FROM CAMPUS! YOUR NEW PLACE TO PARTY! .

Sniffer proclaims:

“Chief retired without dignity!”

Racism in Champaign-Urbana takes a turn for the worse...again... FIRST SNIFF By the time you are reading this, the Chief will have danced his last dance. Last night, at Assembly Hall, tears were shed, hugs were had, anger was vented. But, let’s be honest here. This is for the best. I’d like to go on record right now and state that as happy as I am to fi nally see the Chief go, I feel sorry for those of you who fought so hard and dedicated so many hours toward attempting to immortalize one of the most disrespectful and harmful “symbols” left in America. I really do. No matter how ignorant you all are, my heart goes out to you. I know you must feel a little empty inside, the same way a pimp feels when his best prostitute is gunned down by some manicdepressive with a thing for rubber. HERE IS THE BOTTOM LINE… The Chief ’s “dance” was an ignorant mockery of one of the most cherished and revered forms of spirituality in Native American culture. This was not a bigoted effort. I think most of us calling for the retirement of the Chief realized that those of you who wanted it to stay were not “racist” by nature. But you have to understand that when a Chief dances at a “pow-wow,” he is literally communicating with God. This is literally prayer. And using this form of prayer as entertainment at a sporting event is blasphemous. The dance was offensive because it inherently marginalized Native American spirituality. If you have an ounce of religiousness, you can see how this may have been offensive, yes? If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t have been debated for as long as it had.

NOT CONVINCED YET? TRY THIS ONE ON FOR SIZE... Assuming you realize that we, as a nation, committed genocide on the Native American population during our rise to power in seizing this land — and yes, specifically on the Illini tribe in this case — you might be able to see where I am coming from a little more as I continue. Go ahead. Read on. Imagine for a moment if there was a team called the Berlin Fightin’ Rabbis. And they played soccer or, football, as they know it over there. And at halftime, they trotted out a blonde-haired, blue-eyed 6-foot-5-inch German man dressed in traditional Chasidic garb, with a yarmulke and peyos (those radical curls of hair), blowing on a shofar, dancing the steps to the Hora. Imagine that if you will. Do you think for a moment that this type of behavior would be considered an “honor”? Do you, perhaps, see anything wrong with this scene? If you don’t — come over sometime. Seriously. I’ll show you my family’s genealogy. And we can smoke a peace pipe while you look at the big fucking gaping hole in the family tree from the years 1939 to 1944. I assume most of you don’t have family members who died in genocide, so you ought to watch your mouths before you go around telling people what is and isn’t honorable. Now you know. DIGNITY? I THINK NOT… Illinois basketball looks like shit right now. They scored like 47 points total against Northwestern, for Christ sakes. And the Board of Trustees knows it. As to whether the team will be dancing come March, it’s still kind of up in the air. If you are asking yourself why they decided to retire the Chief now, let me clue you in: National Invitation Tournament.

If the Fighting Illini don’t make the cut for the Madness, you can be sure that those in the finance department here at UIUC want to see the profits from hosting NIT games this March. Forget men’s tennis. Forget women’s softball. I can gross more money at a bake sale than those teams combined. It’s the big boys like men’s basketball that determined the elimination of the Chief this year. WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY POINT... Go Fuck. Yourselves. Board. Of. Trustees. Plain and simple. You could have retired the Chief long ago, with a cer tain modicum of d ig nit y to go alongside it. Instead, you simply just showed us all your true colors: a bunch of moneygrubbing, no good, low-down sonsabitches. That is all you are. Go Fuck. Yourselves. Again. And again. FINAL WHIFF There are problems in this world. No doubt about it. Was the Chief a serious issue? Absolutely not. At least not on the outside. But what it represented was a much larger issue that still remains as pervasive and destructive today as it was 30 years ago, 100 years ago, 500 years ago and so on. Race relations are the key to making this country and this world into a safe and prosperous place to live in. And those of us who are trying to progress are having a hard time doing so because of people like the ones in pro-Chief groups. Time to shape up or ship out. Sleep tight. Seth Fein is from Urbana. Credit is given where credit is due. Steve Sobel, of openingbands.com helped come up with the name Berlin Fightin’ Rabbis. Seth always used just Berlin Rabbis. Much better name. No doubt. Seth can be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com.

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MUSIC, WORDS AND PICTURES: Behind The Never’s Antarctica Concept IMRAN SIDDIQUEE • STAFF WRITER

“All four of us grew up out in the country without electricity and running water ... Now, 20 years later, you can’t do that because the water is so polluted. There’s something really wrong with that.” THE NEVER KNOWS HOW TO LET LOOSE! PHOTOGRAPH BY AMELIA MOORE

he story of The Never, a band of North Carolina country boys with a cause, is nearly as compelling as the 50-page book that accompanies their debut album, Antarctica. Inspired by the lullabies of their childhood, these earnest musicians began planning their ambitious vision years before it emerged in 2006 as an illustrated storybook and a politically conscious concept album. They now tour the country in a bus fueled entirely by vegetable oil and play live shows that are more like theater than somber indie rock. “All of us had Winnie the Pooh storybook records as kids, and they were really important to us. It was something that inspired us,” said drummer Jonny Tunnell. “We really wanted to have a great record, that was our main focus. But the story and the music help each other out; it all came together at the same time.” Jonny and his brother Joah Tunell joined forces with Noah Smith and Ari Picker to form The Never (named after a book by physicist Stephen Hawking) about four years ago. And even though the concept behind Antarctica had been brewing in the minds of Smith and Picker prior to their fateful meeting, it took some time before all the pieces came together. “This was Noah’s first attempt at writing and his first oil paintings of any kind. But he really impressed all of us,” Tunnell said. “While we where in the studio he brought in a lot of the INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, H EAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

paintings that he had already done and we looked at those and built layers of music around them. Our producers then did a great job of capturing those visuals on record.” The story that Smith developed revolves around Paul, a young boy who by chance comes across a nuclear bomb. Without knowing what he has, Paul decides to return the object to its rightful owner, and the subsequent journey sends him on a monumental adventure. The story avoids obvious anti-war clichés and aims for a broader message about the “colors of life.” “We’re kind of into anything that’s going to better our society without hurting what we’ve already got,” Tunnell said. “There are tons of resources out there that aren’t being used, and that upsets us.” The band’s environmental concerns stretch far beyond what they put into their gas tank, and traces of their message can be found throughout the album. The song titles follow the cycles of the seasons, moving from the green of summer to the despair of winter. “All four of us grew up out in the country without electricity and running water. We really grew up off the land,” Tunnell said. “Noah used to get water out of a well as a kid. Now, 20 years later, you can’t do that because the water is so polluted. There’s something really wrong with that.” But, it’s their ability to f ind hope in the barren cold of IN

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Antarctica that makes the finale of the album something special. The aura surrounding The Never is ultimately one of optimism, and this can be seen forcefully in the connection between the storybook and the music. “The last page of the book brings out the idea fairly well. The bomb that is falling on the city is stopped,” Tunnell said. “The people realize: This is a really cool place we have. Let’s not mess it up.” The amount of time and energy put into this project further reveals a hopeful belief in the power of art to spark change. And more specifically, Antarctica can be seen as a concerted effort to save the album as a form, in an increasingly singlebased music industry. “The Internet is doing ridiculous things for music right now, things five years ago I never would have thought were possible, especially for independent bands,” Tunnel said. “But if a group isn’t good enough to make seven or nine good songs, then chances are I’m not going to like them anyway. It’s important that we not forget the feeling of having something in your hands that is really cool.” Catch the ecologically friendly indie rock of The Never along with Robots Counterfeiting Money, Watery Domestic and Nick Africano Monday, Feb. 26th at the Iron Post in Urbana. sounds from the scene

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SHAKE YA TITTAYS FO SUM BEADS

DEFENDING THE RIGHT TO ROCK:

An interview with The Autumn Defense

JEFF MONTGOMERY • STAFF WRITER

THE AUTUMN DEFENSE LOOK SO PEACEFUL NEAR A LAKE, ITS HARD TO IMAGINE THEM COOPED UP IN A ’70S VAN FOR WEEKS ON END. PHOTO COURTESY OF THEAUTUMNDEFENSE.COM

The most interesting thing Pat Sansone of The Autumn Defense had to say wasn’t about his band’s recent album release, their unique sound that is comparable to Cat Stevens or their current tour, which kicked off on Feb. 8th. The most interesting thing that he had to say was the one thing he didn’t think I was listening to. “What’s the gas situation?” Sansone asked to a van full of musicians. “Do we have enough to get there? Because I am out of cash. Should we stop? I think we should keep going for a little while.” As I talked with Sansone, he was traveling in a “super ’70s conversion van” down a stretch of highway in Arizona, packed into a vehicle with four other band members. In a few hours, The Autumn Defense would be playing in Tucson — their sixth show in the last seven days. And, by the time The Autumn Defense pulls their cramped van into Champaign for a Feb. 27th show at The Canopy Club, they will have played 16 shows in a 20-day span. Yet, even with such a frantic schedule, it is hard to image The Autumn Defense fretting over what’s left in their tour van’s gas tank. After all, the two biggest forces behind the music of The Autumn Defense — Sansone and multiinstrumentalist John Stirratt — are also members of Wilco, the Chicago-based band that has been referred to as “America’s Radiohead” on more than one occasion. Because of Wilco’s considerable reputation, many fans of the band assume that The Autumn Defense is a Wilco side project. However, that is not the case — Sansone, in particular, was a member of The Autumn Defense before he ever played with Wilco. The band released its first album, The Green Hour, in 2001. Two years later, The Autumn sounds from the scene

Defense released Circles. The layoff between the band’s second and third album has been substantial; it’s been over three years since the group released a full-length album, and the long break was not by design. “We are going to make it a priority to close the gap between this record and the next one,” Sansone said. The new self-titled album has been received positively by critics and fans alike. Now, the band will spend two hectic months crisscrossing the U.S. in support of the record. The precise sound of The Autumn Defense is hard to pinpoint. Many fans, however, compare their music to ’70s soft rock artists like Neil Young or Cat Stevens. Sansone seems humbled when compared to such historic artists, but he stressed that the band’s style was not contrived. “I don’t think we set out to sound that way,” he said. “I understand the comparisons and don’t mind them. But we didn’t say, ‘Hey, lets make a band that sounds like old acoustic soft rock,’ our sound grew organically.” For a band preparing to play a busy two-month tour, the mindset is one of conflict and contrast. On one hand, the band members are excited and intrigued; on the other, the touring life is one that can be harsh and repetitive. “It’s both fun and it’s tiring,” said Sansone. “There’s definitely a positive side to just getting caught up in the momentum. It’s the other stuff that will wear you out — loading up your equipment, being in a different place every day.” Touring is tough, and with a new Wilco album due out in mid-May, things are not going to settle down soon for Stirratt and Sansone. But, the group’s camaraderie helps make the rough

moments more tolerable. Naturally, Sansone said he is excited about each gig. Regardless, though, a few shows tend to stand out from the others. For the Autumn Defense, Champaign is a special place to play in particular. With so many students hailing from Chicago (the home of Wilco) or nearby suburbs, it is easy to understand why the band feels at home in central Illinois. “There is a noticeable Champaign-Chicago connection,” Sansone said. “You can definitely see the history that goes into it. Champaign is a great town.” The Autumn Defense is becoming familiar with the University of Illinois campus. Late last October, they appeared at Foellinger Auditorium, opening for Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy. This time the band will be joined by the jazzy Greg Spiro Trio, who will be playing a free show after The Autumn Defense set. And while the band won’t admit it, The Autumn Defense’s presence in Champaign this February will be at least partly defined by Tweedy’s absence. At the core of their performance, a question waits to be answered: can the guys from Wilco shed the “guys from Wilco” label and firmly create their own identity? After hearing their latest album, it is clear that the Autumn Defense is worthy of an emergence from the shadow of Wilco. And, three weeks into a draining tour, The Autumn Defense will attempt to do just that at the Canopy Club. Come see The Autumn Defense with The Singleman Affair and Ferraby Lionheart next Tuesday, Feb. 27th at the Canopy Club. Doors open at 7 p.m. for a special early show at 7:30 p.m., and tickets are $10 in advance.

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I DON’T FEEL LIKE WRITING A FUNNY SENTENCE.

PHOTO BY CARLYE WISEL

CONCERT REVIEW: JOHN MAYER

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Feb. 17th at the U.S. Cellular Coliseum in Bloomington, Ill. John Mayer is a mushroom. Between eye-fucking everyone in the front row, wailing on his guitar and quoting ’80s movies, his charisma, talent and humor prove that he truly is a very fungi. (Fun guy ... get it?) Mayer embodies the inexplicable connection between sex and guitar, with a certain attractive charm that just seems to ooze out of him while performing. I don’t fall for guitar-carrying men like most of my female counterparts tend to, but I won’t lie — he winked at me while I was taking his picture up front, and I pretty much melted. Sigh. His appeal never overshadows his sheer talent, though Mayer’s guitarist swagger and near laughable “O face” help to enhance, not undermine his performance. Throughout the Continuum-heavy show, I was surprised by how Mayer’s actual voice sounds exactly like his recordings. It seems like a modern marvel, considering that technological advances have turned everyone from Paris Hilton to Ashlee Simpson into a “singer.” I unfortunately cannot speak of the Simpson clan without mentioning my self-appointed mission at the show — I, admittedly and pathetically, was on the lookout for Her. And, apparently, the rest of Section 112 was too, because when a few girls down the row from me erupted with pointed fingers and camera flashes, I knew she had officially been spotted. Chomping on gum with her newly-dyed brown hair pulled back in a bun, leaning against a box-like object in the middle of the sound equipment area stood She — Jessica Simpson — grooving along while lightly mouthing along the words to “Waiting on the World to Change.”

CARLYE WISEL • MUSIC EDITOR

Regardless of what lady-friend he was singing to, Mayer put on a fantastic show, which was complemented by a highly energetic audience. Standing below a backdrop of LED squares reminiscent of his first album’s cover art, he crooned out the jazzy ballad “I’m Gonna Find Another You,” while “Belief” highlighted the camaraderie between the Mayer and the seven members of his backup band. “I Don’t Trust Myself (With Loving You)” caused a man behind me to exclaim, “That’s babymakin’ music right there!” The slow, smooth “Gravity” seemed to lose the musically uneducated, pop-loving sector of the audience’s attention, though they refocused for a fabulous, jaw-dropping, one-handed guitar solo at the song’s end. Mayer’s sheer talent proves him to be deserving of the “Guitar God” status recently placed upon him by Rolling Stone, but his comedic nature deserves recognition also. In true Back To The Future form, he quoted, “This is an oldie ... well, it’s an oldie where I come from. Your kids are gonna love it,” to introduce his first single, “No Such Thing.” Between recommending that kids be told “Your Body is a Wonderland” is about “rocket ships and football” and shouting out responses to each poster a fan held up, he joked around while proving that he’s more than a guitarist — he’s a bona fide character. Mayer seems to have found the happy medium between rock/pop idol and serious jazz musician, though his live performance proves how at the end of the day, he’s just a dude who truly loves to play his guitar. What a mushroom.

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SPIN IT ROUND, FLIP IT AND REVERSE IT • STAFF WRITER

In a very special one-sided Spin It, Brian tackles a hard-hitting topic that has been hitting him hard over the past week. Don’t worry, this isn’t like on television where a character is missing and another character creepily turns to the camera to say, “Miranda’s not here ... She’s at her Grandmother’s house this weekend!” (That episode of Lizzie McGuire was horribly frightening.) Enjoy your break from Carlye’s ranting and prepare to snuggle up and get cozy with Brian... Across The Pond Appeal: Lily A llen, L ady Sov a nd L ove Actually T hey g ave u s T he Beatles, Har r y Potter and our independence. Yes, the Br it ish have always seemed to dish out what we need, though not a lways w i l l ing ly. Regard less, the l itt le island of bad teeth and excellent television has had a dispropor tional inf luence on American culture, despite getting their lobster tails handed to them a couple of times. We are naturally drawn to the culture across the pond like a baby to its mother’s face. But not only is the appeal within us, it’s fostered by our own media giants. Conspiracy!? The end of orthodontics!? Maybe, but I think if we look closely enough ... love, actually, is all around. For the sake of convenience, we can trace the phenomenon back to the early ’60s. Beatlemania etc. gave us a taste of what we were missing, and since then, our nation has been a very subtle but desperate junkie. Also for the sake of convenience, let’s disregard everything from then until the time of Oasis (which, if you look at “Best U.K. Albums Ever” lists, is exactly what the British do). Since the ’90s, there have been a handful of musical artists sounds from the scene

FLIP IT

BRIAN MCGOVERN

quality is being from the U.K. Also, most people couldn’t tell you where The Killers or The White Str ipes are f rom, but everyone knows when a band is from across the pond. It’s a specific and a lmost necessar y par t of the band’s identity, arguably more important than the quality of their work. For example ... The Streets. Mike Skinner’s highly r e g a r d e d r a p/s poken word project, The Streets, gave him celebrity status i n En g l a nd . T hou g h not as wel l-known in the States, his work has a cult-like following. I crazy love The Streets, but if Sk in ner’s f low wasn’t characterized by his thick accent, there wou ld n’t be a s much appeal. If Skinner was a nasal Brooklynite, no one would want to listen to that skinny white man rap at all. I want guys to be referred to as “blokes,” and I want to hear about losing a “thousand quid,” not dollars, and I want lots of “lifts” and “torches” and “tellys” too. Most recently, the UK PHOTO CREDIT WWW.LUGER.SE has brought us Lily Allen who arrive each year to the States with a furious and Lady Sovereign. Both are young, ugly-yetmedia blitz. Like flashy dealers, MTV, Rolling Stone attractive female artists and both have been and most recently the blogosphere try to get us to successful here. Lady Sov was bafflingly number buy their own brand of sweet smack. one on TRL and Lily Allen has appeared in From Cleopatra and the Spice Girls to Bloc the Billboard Top 20. Allen has said she’s not Party and the Arctic Monkeys, the past decade that bent on breaking through to the States, has offered a constant flow of British artists for though. She knows she’s just the next wave of us to either love or reject. It’s not that interesting the weakening British invasion. that they are marketed to American consumers; One day they may recapture our hearts and a successful and popular artist should no doubt wallets, and if Dave Becks makes a musical be accepted into another cu lture. W hat’s debut (f ingers crossed) they might just do interesting is that they are exclusively marketed it. But if those queen-k issing snobs think as “English Bands,” complete with spinning t hey ca n pa s s out l a nd i sh t a r i f f s w it hout neon Union Jacks. representation, all the hot soccer players in With the exception of Radiohead and some the world couldn’t stop the uprising. These others, it seems that U.K. bands’ only commercial colors don’t run. Cheers.

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Smell of smoke gives way to smell of ass Ton ig ht thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great reason to give the Cour t yard CafĂŠ (in the Illini Union) a t r y, a s D e n i s o n W h it mer returns to town. Denison is well-known for great songwriting as well as his connections to acts like Sufjan Stevens, My Morning Jacket and Rosie Thomas. This time around, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll share the stage with Noah Harris (of The Elanors) and Casados. Noah has been playing more and more solo shows (as his wife, Elanors member Adriel, is also a member of the Wandering Sons) and catching a lot of praise for them. Casados is one of the best new acts in town, without question. Imagine harmonium, mandolin, pedal steel, upright bass and acoustic guitar over male/female vocals and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get an idea of what they sound like. The show is only $5 (show your UIUC ID to get a whole dollar off!), and it will begin at 9 p.m. If tonight youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather have your face melted by metal, head to Cowboy Monkey, where local band Tritone (fresh from a leather-clad performance as Judas Priest at this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Great Cover Up) will play with The Last Vegas and Dreams of Jenna. Over at Mike â&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s you can catch another group of Cover Up veterans (this year having performed as Elvis Costello), and also one of the areaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best bands, Mad Science Fair. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d bet that those who missed out on the Cover Up festivities could make a special request of either band and get a little taste. At the Krannert Art Museum tonight thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s another installment of Jason Finklemanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sudden Sound Concert Series, featuring the Hamid Drake, Nicole Mitchell and Yosef Ben Israel Trio. The show is free and starts at 7:30 p.m. The concert series was started by Finkleman to present creative artists exploring the art of improvised music and the jazz avant-garde, and if anyone knows about all of that, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jason. Jazz fans should check it out, for sure. Fridayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s noon hour will see another solo mar imba per for mance f rom Tr iple W h ip drummer Jane Boxall. This time you can catch her at the Springer Cultural Center in downtown Champaign, and for free, at that. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s free culture, people. Get it while you can. Speaking of culture, you can catch Porn Chowder at the Iron Post later on Friday night. Seriously, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the name. $5. 9 p.m. Saturday night pits two excellent shows against each other in downtown Champaign. At Mike â&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, one of the best bands in the country will be knocking people on their asses. The band is Lymbyc Systym, and if you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seen them yet, you better do so now. The band is only made up of two brothers, one on drums and one on keys (plus lots of programming and

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laptops), but the amount of band members takes nothing at all away from their ability to fill a room with sound. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve rarely been blind-sided as hard as I was the first time I saw these guys. It would be one thing if it was just Lymbyc Systym, but this bill also holds Pulsar47 (easily one of the best bands in town), Relay and HypnoMusicCorp. The show starts at 9 p.m., and is a bargain at $7. The other kick ass (kick ass!) show is anchored by Terminus Victor (another one of the best bands in the area), playing with Triple Whip, New Ruins, FeED and Ad Astra Per Aspera. I have a feeling that a lot of people will be going between shows, and that both will be packed, so get somewhere early and listen to some great bands. Or, have beer spilled on you by a guy with a popped collar and backwards visor at the Lucky Boys Confusion show at the Canopy Club. Your choice. On Sunday, the dormant Beatles Tribute night curated by Larry Gates will be revived. The Iron Post will, for the evening, be filled will oodles of Beatles covers from Gates, along with Lucky Mulholland, Ryan Groff and Davey Pride (of elsinore), The Dakota (former Beatles cover band â&#x20AC;&#x201D; no fair!), The Chemicals and Brandon T. Washington. The last time this tribute happened, Brandonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s band Temple of Low Men played three songs that were some of the best performances that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever heard (including bassist Josh Walden on vocals for â&#x20AC;&#x153;Paperback Writer,â&#x20AC;? guitarist Andy Lund absolutely destroying the solo on â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yer Blues,â&#x20AC;? and a seated Anthony Gravino turning pedal knobs for â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tomorrow Never Knowsâ&#x20AC;?). Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all for this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s CU Music History lesson. Next week: 23 years of music experience (how hard work really does pay off ) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; whatever happened to Don Gerard? Comedy isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t something that we see on a regular basis here in CU (though Seth Fein tries his best in his column sometimes), so itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nice to see the Canopy Club bringing in a recognizable act. Neil Hamburger, recently seen on tour with Tenacious D (and appearing in their movie The Pick of Destiny), will perform his quirky act on Monday night (9 p.m., $7) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; an act that has seen many releases on the Drag City record label. Opening the show will be local funnyman/buzz columnist/urinal shy-guy Mike Coulter. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure the CU Smokefree Alliance people will be there, too. The Canopy Club does it again on Tuesday, with a show from The Autumn Defense (featuring John Stiratt and Pat Sansone of Wilco), The Singleman Affair and Ferraby Lionheart. Web sites are saying that there is a very limited number of tickets available, so Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m guessing, like, six. Get one soon! Info at canopyclub.com. Mike Ingram can be reached at forgottenwords.gmail.com. sounds from the scene

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OH FUNNY WORLD.

THIS WEEK AT

FEATURED EVENTS

K R A N N E RT C E N T E R F O R T H E P E R F O R M I N G A RT S

The Vivaldi Project Joel Smirnoff, conductor Joan Kwuon, violin Bulgarian Academic Orchestra Here’s a classical concert with a difference—through conversation, demonstration, and performance, we’ll meet Vivaldi as we haven’t before. Works to be performed include the Concerto Grosso in D Minor; Concerto for Violin and Strings in G Major, RV 310; and the shivering, steaming The Seasons. As part of our commitment to breaking down the barriers which can exist around classical music, we’re offering every ticket to The Vivaldi Project at $5 each. Tuesday, March 6 at 7:30pm Foellinger Great Hall $5 Endowed Artist Underwriters: Avis and Dean Hilfinger Endowed Sponsor: Lois and Louis Kent Patron Co-sponsors: Alice and Donald Dodds Judith and Victor Feldman Elizabeth and Edwin Goldwasser Betty and David Lazarus Pnina and Gadi Steiner Bruce Zimmerman Studiodance I Department of Dance Studiodance I showcases the choreography of Master of Fine Arts candidates Janet Charleston, Paige Cunningham, Justin Jacobs, and Renata Sheppard.

Th Feb 22

Fr Feb 23

Sa Feb 24

Su Feb 25

Krannert Uncorked 5pm, free

UI Chamber Orchestra 7:30pm, $2-$8

Hungarian State Folk Ensemble 7pm, $14-$32

Madama Butterfly 7:30pm, $8-$22

Libretto: Madama Butterfly 6:30pm, $6

Libretto: Madama Butterfly 2pm, $6

Madama Butterfly 7:30pm, $8-$22

Illini Statesmen Barbershop Chorus 3pm, $7-$13

Patron Sponsor Ruth Smith Miller Patron Co-sponsors Jane Bishop Hobgood Anonymous

Joey DeFrancesco Trio 7:30pm, $12-$24 Patron Co-sponsor Anonymous Corporate Gold Sponsor

Joey DeFrancesco Trio 7:30pm, $12-$24 Patron Co-sponsor Anonymous

Tu Feb 27

Corporate Gold Sponsor

Corporate Silver Sponsor

21st Century Piano Consortium Recital 7:30pm, $2-$8

Corporate Silver Sponsors Corporate Silver Sponsors

Th Mar 1 Madama Butterfly 7:30pm, $8-$22

Krannert Uncorked & Entrepreneurial 5pm, free

Joey DeFrancesco Trio 7:30pm, $12-$24

Esther Lamneck, clarinet 7:30pm, $2-$8

Patron Co-sponsor Anonymous Corporate Gold Sponsor

A Chorus Line 7:30pm, $8-$15

Thursday, March 8 at 7:30pm; Friday-Saturday, March 9-10 at 7pm & 9:30pm Studio Theatre

Madama Butterfly 3pm, $8-$22

Corporate Silver Sponsors

Flex: $13 / SC & Stu 12 / UI & Yth 7 Single: $14 / SC & Stu 13 / UI & Yth 8

333.6280 8 0 0 . K C PAT I X

Patron Season Sponsors Dolores and Roger Yarbrough

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council— a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

sounds from the scene

Corporate Power Train Team Engine Members

40˚ North and Krannert Center, working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

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cu calendar

THU. FEB 22 Live Bands Acoustic Show [Featuring Eric Sommer.] Aroma Cafe, 8pm no cover Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm no cover Corn Desert Ramblers [Bluegrass.] Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Denison Witmer, Noah Harris (of the Elanors), Casados Courtyard Cafe 9pm, no cover Tim Deal Quartet [With Rick King on congas.] Zorba’s Restaurant 9:30pm, $3 Mad Science Fair Mike ‘N Molly’s 10pm, $3 The Last Vegas, Vains of Jenna, Tritone (Adam Wolf) Cowboy Monkey 10pm, $7 Concerts Sudden Sound Concert [Presenting the lead artists in the fields of improvised music and the jazz avant-garde. Tenor saxophonist Fred Anderson’s creative jazz style is rooted in bebop while percussionist Hamid Drake is one of today’s leading drummers in progressive jazz and world music.] Krannert Art Museum, 7:30pm Joey DeFrancesco Trio [DeFrancesco pumps out unpretentious, good-time music of foot-tapping exhilaration.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm

DJ Limbs [Hip-hop, breaks and party music.] Boltini Lounge 10:30pm Dancing Free Swing Dance McKinley Church and Foundation, 9:30pm Karaoke Karaoke with Randy from RM Entertainment Fat City Saloon, 9pm Lectures/Discussions 8th Futures Conference [Conference to look at trends that affect the diverse population Parkland serves.] Parkland College, 7:30am Free English Speaking, Listening Class [These classes work well for those whose native language is not English and emphasize beginning and intermediate listening and speaking skills.] Parkland College, 9am Panel Discussion: The Future of the Latin American Left Humanities Lecture Hall, 4pm “Lesbian Activism and Latin American Feminisms” [Dr. Juanita Diaz-Cotto, State University of New York at Binghamton, will lecture.] Noyes Lab, 7pm “Disciplining Society through the City: The Genesis of City Planning in Brazil and Argentina (1894-1945)” International Studies Building 12pm Sporting Events Illinois Women’s Basketball vs. Michigan State Assembly Hall, 7pm

Madama Butterfly

Feb. 22 through 24 at 7:30 p.m., Feb. 25 at 3 p.m. Krannert Center Tryon Festival Theatre, $20/$22

It’s pretty safe to assume that when most college students hear the word “opera,” their thoughts turn to a hefty woman in a Viking hat belting out something from “Figaro.” For those willing to venture outside their comfort zones and gain a little culture, “Madama Butterfly,” a beautiful love story with not a Viking hat in sight, will be presented at the Krannert Center’s Tryon Festival Theatre Feb. 22 through 25. Set in Nagasaki at the turn of the century, the opera follows the relationship between Madama Butterfly and her American lover, Lieutenant Benjamin Franklin Pinkerton. Butterfly is abandoned by Pinkerton, and she must raise their child while dreaming that one day he might return to her. The opera will be sung in Italian with English supertitles. — Bonnie Stiernberg

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Workshops Resumes and Cover Letters [This workshop will discuss the differences between the curriculum vitae and the resume, help graduate students highlight their transferable skills in resume format, discuss the different types of resumes and provide suggestions for formatting and self-promotion. Cover letter writing will also be discussed.] Illini Union, 3pm Free Credit Seminar [Allows individuals to review their credit report with a lender and/or credit counselor, and discuss how to obtain, maintain and repair credit issues.] Business Development Center, 7pm The Law of Attraction [Learn the art and science of the universal law of attraction.] School of Metaphysics, 7:30pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park [The “Allerton Legacy” exhibit at the Visitors Center is open daily. Garden tours can be arranged.] Allerton Park, 9am Miscellaneous Japan House [Group tours of the Japan House.] Japan House 1pm Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours [To arrange a concert or Bell Tower visit, e-mail chimes@uiuc.edu or call 333-6068. Enter through 323 Altgeld Hall.] Altgeld Hall 12:30pm Meetings French Department: Pause Cafe Espresso Royale, Oregon St. (Urbana), 5pm International Coffee Hour [Coffee, tea and homemade ethnic desserts are served.] Cosmopolitan Club, 7:30pm Family Fun Around the World Wednesdays [Parents and kids create, play and learn together through crafts and activities from around the world. Each week of the spring series will cover a different part of the world.] Spurlock Museum 9:30am, $2 donation requested Group Funfare [Preschool groups are invited to come and enjoy stories, songs, puppets and films.] Urbana Free Library 9:45am Mind/Body/Spirit Krannert Uncorked [Weekly wine tasting with music in the lobby at Krannert Center. Performance by Kevin Flowers and Jd Lamb. Free tasting. Wine for sale by the glass.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 5pm Meditation and Yoga Classes [Free meditation and yoga classes that include meditation exercises, yoga postures, deep relaxation and yoga philosophy.] Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center, 6pm

FRI. FEB 23 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am Bach’s Lunch [Treat your senses to a musical meal that will satisfy your hunger for melody and rhythm.] Springer Cultural Center, 12pm Boneyard Jazz Quintet Iron Post 5pm, no cover North Mississippi Allstars Canopy

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

Club, 7pm, $13 in advance Dan, Bob & Joni Hubers, 8pm Delta Kings [Rock and blues.] Memphis on Main, 8:30pm cover Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Porn Chowder Iron Post, 9pm $5/$7 for under 21 Jonesful [Hard rock band with special guests C.P.X.] The Phoenix, 10pm Bottle of Justus, Jonathon Cour, The Province Cowboy Monkey, 10pm $5/$7 after 11pm Concerts Broken & Beautiful Tour [Familyfriendly WBGL show features Mark Schultz and Big Daddy Weave with special guest David Klinkenberg.] Virginia Theatre 7pm Joey DeFrancesco Trio Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 7:30pm UI Chamber Orchestra [Includes Hee-Yun Kim’s “Butterfly Dream,” Beethoven’s Symphony No. 1 in C Major, Op. 21, Barber’s Knoxville and more.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm, $2 to $8 DJ DJ Dance Party Canopy Club 10:30pm, cover Deeplicio.us [DJ Mambo Italiano. House music.] Ko.Fusion 11pm, no cover Dancing Contra Dance [All dances are taught (walked-through) prior to dancing. Wear comfortable clothing and bring a pair of clean, soft-soled shoes to protect the wood floor.] Phillips Recreation Center, 8pm Lectures/Discussions Reflections on Interfaith Relations Locally [With Steve Shoemaker, Executive Director, University YMCA.] University YMCA, 12pm “Korea Workshop: The Internet and Political Transformation in South Korea” International Studies Building, 12:30pm, free Film Latin American Film festival [Five recently released films from five countries in Latin America will be featured in the Latin American Film Festival. Hailing from Chile, Colombia, Argentina, Brazil and Cuba, all films have been awarded prestigious national and international prizes and have never been shown in commercial movie theaters in the United States.] Boardman’s Art Theatre, 6pm Sporting Events Illinois Wheelchair basketball tournament IMPE, 9am Illinois Women’s Tennis vs. Purdue Atkins Tennis Center, 6pm Illinois Men’s Hockey vs. Depaul University Ice Arena, 7pm Workshops Entrepreneurial Arts Organizations and Artists [Led by cultural facilitator and consultant Jerry Yoshitomi.] 40 North/88 West Offices, 10am Women Don’t Ask Career Chat [This lunchtime chat will discuss the experiences of women in job negotiation, both academic and nonacademic. Women are often reluctant to negotiate, and statistics show they are more likely than men to receive lower pay, benefits and lifetime earnings.

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We will discuss some of the reasons for these differences as well as strategies for negotiation.] Coble Hall, 12pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Miscellaneous Norm Lambert Scholarship Fundraiser [The great Norman Lambert was a community leader and Parkland College counselor.] The Great Impasta, 6pm Illinites Illini Union, 9pm, free Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” Parkland College, 9:30pm, $5 Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Family Fun Chicago Bulls Teen Trip [Join the Champaign Park District as we watch the Chicago Bulls take on Eastern Conference rivals the Washington Wizards.] Leonhard Recreation Center 2pm $20/$30

Beatles Tribute Night w/ Larry Gates and Lucky Mulholland, Brandon T. Washington, The Chemicals, Ryan Groff, The Dakota Feb. 25, 7 p.m. Iron Post, $6

SAT. FEB 24 Live Bands The Painkillers [Gritty rock band from L.A.] Iron Post, 6pm, $3 Dave Dreyer Band Hubers, 8pm Lucky Boys Confusion with Last Fast Action, Rebel Angels Canopy Club 8pm, $12 in advance Tons of Fun Band Fat City Saloon 9pm Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Terminus Victor, New Ruins, Ad Astra Per Aspera, FeED, Triple Whip Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 Candy Foster and Shades of Blue Iron Post, 9:30pm, $4 Concerts Joey DeFrancesco Trio Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 7:30pm Community/Campus Women’s Music Series, Concert I [Concert series to promote local women in the arts. Also a fundraiser for the Center for Women in Transition.] Independent Media Center, 8pm DJ DJ Tim Williams Highdive, 10pm, $5 Festivals 2007 Taste of Jazz [An evening of live jazz, great food and auctions. Auction items include autographed photos of Bono, B.B. King, Jeff Foxworthy, Steven Tyler, Leonardo DiCaprio, rounds of golf, collectibles and more.] Parkland College, 6pm, $5 in advance/$7 Lectures/Discussions “Cosmic Violence: Exploding Neutron Stars and Collapsing Black Holes” [Professor Fred Lamb will lecture.] Loomis Laboratory, 10am The Secret Code of Revelation [Discover the mystery of the mark of the beast, the dragon and the two beasts.] Pages for All Ages, 2pm Libretto: Madama Butterfly [Add depth to your performance experience by attending a pre-performance talk about “Madama Butterfly” with the Opera Divisio’s principal coach, Thomas S. Schleis.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 6:30pm Film Latin American Film Festival Boardman’s Art Theatre, 6pm Sporting Events Women’s Track & Field Armory Building, 9am 4th Annual Indoor Tennis Tournaments [Many divisions including youth under 12 up to adults more than 55 years old.] Champaign Park District, 12pm, $20 singles/$25 doubles teams Men’s Hockey [CSCHL all-star game.] Ice Arena 7pm, $5 students and children/$7

In celebration of a musical legacy, I am happy to announce that the Iron Post will be hosting a night fully dedicated to the most vivid, most beloved rock group of all time — The Beatles. With the album LOVE still fresh in my mind, soul and spirit, I cannot express the anticipation that eludes my very thoughts at any given moment of spending a night with live Beatles music. Excessive? Well, I’m an excessive person. Yet, I still cannot stress the way in which Beatles music has enveloped my entire musical lifetime. All I can say about the selection of musicians that will be performing this Sunday night is that I am thoroughly pleased. The sounds of local bands The Chemicals and Lucky Mulholland are reminiscent of The Beatles and, more importantly, have that energetic hook needed for the tribute. I’ve witnessed the cover talent of both Brandon T. Washington and Ryan Groff at the recent Great Cover Up and can confidently say their talent will make my night. Better yet, the band that began their musical career as a Beatles cover band, The Dakota have long since created a name for themselves as well as a following. But on this night of colorful pleasure, they will be returning to their roots for a Beatles tribute perfection that will zap the ever-threatening Blue Meanies, all the while bringing music to CU-land. In salute to my love for the Beatles, I invite you to join the musical melodies of John, George, Paul and Ringo as the night sets off on a musical and magical adventure. — Caitlin Cremer

Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Weekend Warrior Boot Camp [These camps are designed to give you a complete workout in 45 minutes in a fun, encouraging atmosphere. Each session includes aerobic, strength and functional training and many “unconventional” exercises and activities such as obstacle courses and games.] The Point Fencing Club, 6:30pm, $80 for four weekends Miscellaneous Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings Illini Folk Dance Society [Beginners welcome.] Illini Union, 8pm Fundraisers An Evening of Fine Art and Wine [This event includes wine tasting, meet the artist, silent auction and door prize. All proceeds benefit the Little Illini Soccer Club U16 Girls Premier Team.] Larry Kanfer Gallery 5:30pm, $25 Sweep Away Homelessness [Charity broomball tournament. All proceeds will be donated to a local homeless shelter.] Ice Arena, 10:30pm, $2 or 1 can of food/person Family Fun Kids@Krannert [Enjoy demonstrations, hands-on art projects, dance and storytelling.] Krannert Art Museum, 10am

SUN. FEB 25 Live Bands Beatles Tribute Night [Featuring Larry Gates of Lorenzo Goetz, Lucky Mulholland, Brandon T. Washington, The Chemicals, Ryan Groff, Dave Pride of Elsinore and The Dakota. A portion of the proceeds will go to The American Cancer Foundation.] Iron Post, 7pm, $5 Crystal River Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, no cover WPGU presents New Sound Sundays with Loveway, Upon the Eighth Night, Boulder, Co and Leigh Evin McCullough and the Low Down Canopy Club, 9pm, $1 Concerts Illini Statesmen Barbershop Chorus [The Illini Statesmen are celebrating the 60th Anniversary of becoming the ChampaignUrbana Chapter of the Barbershop Harmony Society (the Society for the Preservation & Encouragement of Barber Shop Quartet Singing in America). The concert will be filled with songs from the last 60 years as we take a sentimental journey into the past.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 3pm Dancing English Country Dance [All dances will be taught. Partners, costumes and experience are not required, however we ask that soft-soled, non-marking, non-street shoes be worn so as not to damage the dance floor.] Phillips Recreation Center, 3pm, $1

Lectures/Discussions Thriller Talk: A Mystery Book Club [Read the book selected for the month or read another book by the same author. You are summoned to appear and give testimony on the plot and people in “Kiss the Girls,” by James Patterson.] Urbana Free Library, 2pm Libretto: Madama Butterfly Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 2pm Film Latin American Film Festival Boardman’s Art Theatre, 6pm Sporting Events Women’s Track & Field [Big Ten Indoor Championships.] Armory Building, 9am Illinois Women’s Tennis vs. Washington Atkins Tennis Center, 11am Illinois Women’s Gymnastics vs. Northern Illnois & Iowa State Huff Gym, 2pm Illinois Women’s Basketball vs. Purdue Assembly Hall, 2pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Weekend Warrior Boot Camp The Point Fencing Club, 6:30pm $80 for four sessions Miscellaneous Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings University Falun Dafa Practice Group Illini Union, 4:10pm

MON. FEB 26 Live Bands Tribute to Count Basie [The Dave

Dickey Big Band, a 17-piece all-star big band featuring members of the UI Jazz Faculty, top jazz musicians from east and central Illinois and swing dancers from the Swing Society will perform.] Highdive, 7:30pm Neil Hamburger with Special Guest Mike Coulter Canopy Club, 8pm $8 in advance Open Mic Night [With hosts Brandon T. Washington and Mike Ingram.] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm no cover Concerts Orchestra/Wind Ensemble Winter Concert Parkland College, 7pm, free Lectures/Discussions Free English Speaking, Listening Class Parkland College, 9am “Blacks and Relationships” [Dr. Norman Greer, communications professor at Eastern Illinois University, will lead the discussion.] Parkland College, 11am Judge Mathis Lecture [Reality court show judge Greg Mathis will give a lecture as part of Parkland College’s Black History Month festivities.] Parkland College, 2pm Film Latin American Film Festival Boardman’s Art Theatre, 6pm Workshops Resume Critique La Casa Cultural Latina, 3pm, free Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Comedy Monday Comedy Night [Improv comedy every week featuring Spicy Clamato and DeBono.] Courtyard Cafe, 8pm, free Miscellaneous Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings Italian Table [Italian conversation.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 12pm

TUE. FEB 27 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am The Autumn Defense with Special Guests The Singleman Affair and Ferraby Lionheart Canopy Club 7:30pm, $10 in advance Crystal River Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, no cover Rehearsal Space in the Void Room [With Greg Spero Trio and Zmick.] Canopy Club, 9pm, no cover Concerts 21st Century Piano Recital Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm, $2 to $8 DJ Dj Evily and Dj Twinscin [Industrial and electric.] Highdive, 10pm $2 Chris O [A blend of downtempo and deep house.] Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm, no cover Karaoke Karaoke with Randy Miller Bentley’s Pub, 9:30pm free Lectures/Discussions Free English Speaking, Listening Class Parkland College, 9am “Mirror, Mirror On the Wall: Body Image” Illini Union, 7pm, free “Performance: A Really Big Deal” Humanities Lecture Hall, 7pm free “It’s Only Temporary ... the Good News and the Bad News of Being Alive” [“Sex and the City” star Evan Handler talks about his triumph over acute leukemia.] Foellinger Auditorium, 7pm, free “The Arts as a Spire of Excellence at U of I” University YMCA, 12pm “Poetics and the Performance of Violence in Israel/Palestine” [David McDonald, Anthropology, will be speaking.] Foreign Languages Building, 12pm

Film Latin American Film Festival Boardman’s Art Theatre, 6pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Red Pin Tuesday [When the head pin is red, strike and win a free game!] Illini Union, 6pm Miscellaneous ECS Spring 2007 Engineering Career Fair [A two-day career fair sponsored by Engineering Career Services for students interested in full-time, co-op and internship opportunities in engineering and related fields.] Illini Union, 10am Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings Illini Folk Dance Society Illini Union, 8pm Family Fun Babies’ Lap Time [Babies and their parents or caregivers are invited to this program of songs, stories and rhymes for young patrons, ages birth to 24 months.] Urbana Free Library 9:45am

WED. FEB 28 Live Bands Chris Stephens Trio [CD release show.] Iron Post, 8PM, $5 Feudin’ Hillbilly’s Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Sound Surround with Story of the Sea and Lucky Mulholland Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 DJ Dj Stifler [Country until 11pm. Then hip-hop and dance music.] Highdive, 8pm, $3/$5 Lectures/Discussions Free English Speaking, Listening Class Parkland College, 9am “Consumer Culture and Contemporary Metal” [Open class with Professor Billie Theide.] Krannert

Art Museum, 1pm, free “Becoming a Man” [In this closing event for Black History Month, Curly Lee, owner of the Ford dealership in Danville and energizing motivational speaker, will speak on challenges and obstacles to success, becoming a man and “making something out of nothing.”] Parkland College, 12pm “African Studies: Perspective from Veterinary Pathobiology” International Studies Building 12pm, free Film Latin American Film Festival Boardman’s Art Theatre, 6pm Workshops Thesis Deposit Workshop [This workshop is designed to provide graduate students with the key information they need to achieve a successful, low stress deposit and graduation experience. It covers the procedures and deadlines relating to deposit, required deposit materials and basic rules of thesis and dissertation format.] Illini Union, 5pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Miscellaneous ECS Spring 2007 Engineering Career Fair Illini Union, 10am Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings Deutshe Konversationsgruppe [German conversation group.] The Bread Company, 1pm Scandinavian Coffee Hour Bread Company, 4pm Illinites Meetings [Looking for leadership opportunities and experience, or just like to program? Look no further than the Illinites committee.] Illini Union, 6pm Fundraisers Empty Bowls Project [Benefit

the Crisis Nursery. For a $10 donation, attendees will receive a bowl of Milo’s soup as well as a handmade bowl to take home with them. Many bowls created by members of the CU Potters’ Club will be available to choose from.] Milo’s Restaurant 2pm, $10 Family Fun “Around the World Wednesday” [Parents and kids can create, play and learn together through crafts and activities from around the world.] Spurlock Museum 9:30am, $2 donation requested Toddler Time: Dinosaurs [Children ages two to four years with an adult are invited to enjoy stories and songs about dinosaurs and make a dinosaur craft.] Urbana Free Library, 10:30am Babies’ Lap Time Moonlight Edition [Before going to bed, babies and their parents or caregivers are invited to a program of songs, stories and rhymes for young patrons, ages birth to 24 months.] Urbana Free Library 6:30pm

Read Across America Check out this great, one-time volunteer opportunity! As a volunteer, you will have the opportunity to play with kids by working on educational crafts or helping to set up booths, hand out stickers and other fun and simple activities! Volunteers are needed in two-hour shifts from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Please e-mail Emma O’Brien at helpRAA@gmail. com to participate in this year’s seventh annual Read Across America, located in Lincoln Square Mall.

Art & Theater “Madama Butterfly” [Set in Nagasaki at the turn of the 20th century, Puccini’s “Madama Butterfly” is one of the glories of Italian opera. Abandoned by her American lover, Naval Lieutenant Benjamin Franklin Pinkerton, Butterfly raises their child in the hope that one day Pinkerton will return to her. He does return, but under altered circumstances, and she has no choice but to die with honor.] Krannert Center, Tryon Festival Theatre, Feb. 22 through 24 at 7:30 p.m., Feb. 25 at 3 p.m. “Three Sisters” [This play by Anton Chekhov tells the story of three sisters (Irina, Olga and Masha) longing to move back to Moscow on the one-year anniversary of their father, Colonel Prozorov’s, death.] The Station Theatre, Feb. 22 through 28, 8 p.m. “A Weekend of One-Acts” [Will feature six original plays by local playwrights.] Parkland Theatre, Feb. 23 at 8 p.m., Feb. 24 at 3 p.m. and 8 p.m., Feb. 25 at 3 p.m., $6 “Wall Paper Weights” [A show of recent sculpture by Todd Frahm and paintings by Lara Nguyen.] Cinema Gallery through Feb. 24 “Melodramas of Consumption” [This photo exhibit by Brian Ulrich is an examination of consumerism within our culture. He explores the everyday activities of shopping as well as the economic, cultural, social and political implications of commercialism.] Humanities Lecture Hall, Illinois Program for Research in the Humanities, through March 2 “Where Animals Dance” [This exhibit examines the masquerading traditions of West Africa and features masks and other related ceremonial artifacts. It also features discussions on the impact of masquerade in belief, social structure and daily life.] Spurlock Museum through March 4 “Fly South” [This new exhibit at The Larry Kanfer Gallery features spring-like florals, contemporary abstracts and botanical images.] Larry Kanfer Gallery through March 7 “Journeys” [Umeeta Sadaranganiwill’s exhibit features a collection of watercolors, mixed media paitings and photographs.] Asian American Cultural Center through March 16 Paintings by Lucy Synk [The work of local painter Lucy Synk is featured in this show, which includes recent original pieces alongside framed prints of her past work.] Pages For All Ages through March 31 “Branded and On Display” [“Branded and On Display” features the work of artists exploring the theme of branding and the significance of marketing in our culture. Representing a range of media including sculpture, video, installation, sound, painting and photography, the works are compelling and provocative, nudging us to “re-view” our culture with an appraising eye.] Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion through April 1 “Commerce and Consumption: Works From The Permanent Collection” [Photographic works from the museum’s permanent collection that are defined by marketing and advertising actions have been selected for this exhibition, an accompaniment to “Branded and On Display”.] Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavillion through May 13 “A History of New” [Explores what happens when a new technology is co-opted and subverted into a tool, supporting system or display medium for artists. University students and museum visitors are invited to help build a graphically rich timeline of technological and scientific innovations and the resulting reactions and responses to these innovations. The timeline will be displayed on the wall of the CANVAS Gallery and within the CANVAS itself.] Krannert Art Museum through July 29

The Spring Dining Guide: COMING SOON...

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the

BUZZSCARS! BUZZSCAR PREDICTIONS

ave you ever noticed that we all get so excited

BY THE BUZZ STAFF

over the Oscars, yet the only way we get to 1 ) BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE FOREST WHITAKER The Last King of Scotland

participate in them is by watching them?

I mean, that blows — by the time we watch the Oscars, the

2 ) BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE EDDIE MURPHY Dreamgirls

winners have already been selected. This year, the staff and writers of buzz decided to take the

3 ) BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE HELEN MIRREN The Queen

Oscars into our own hands. We decided that we would vote and make our own predictions on who should win some of

4 ) BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE JENNIFER HUDSON Dreamgirls

these Academy Awards. Ladies and Gents, we present to you the Buzzscars. – Keri Carpenter

5 ) BEST ANIMATED FEATURE CARS 6 ) BEST COSTUME DESIGN MARIE ANTOINETTE 7 ) BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING THE DEPARTED 8 ) BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH 9 ) BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM PAN’S LABYRINTH 10 ) BEST ORIGINAL SONG “LOVE YOU I DO” Dreamgirls 11 ) BEST PICTURE THE DEPARTED 12 ) BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN VISUAL EFFECTS: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST 13 ) BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE ILLUSTRATION BY NIKITA SOROKIN

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BUZZ ACTOR-LEADING

FOREST WHITAKER

(The Last King of Scotland)

BEST ACTRESS-LEADING

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

HELEN MIRREN

CARS

(The Queen) MRUGESH BAVDA • STAFF WRITER

PHOTOS COURTESY OF ROTTENTOMATOES.COM

DAVID VALDES • STAFF WRITER

As the final and most anticipated awards show of the season, the Academy Awards ceremony has a knack for surprising audiences. Last year’s frontrunner for Best Picture, Brokeback Mountain, was upset by another controversial drama, Crash. This year’s ceremony has no apparent front-runner in the Best Picture category, but the prize for Best Actor is all but set to go to Forest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland. Whitaker plays Idi Amin, the larger-than-life former dictator of Uganda. Amin was a dually charismatic and terrifying man, and Whitaker plays the character as such. He makes sure none of his scenes are wasted and that the fear Amin evoked in Ugandans during his reign of terror is palpable throughout. Whitaker plays Amin as both ruthless and terrifying, but also jovial and ref lective. Amin is plain evil in some scenes, yet in others Whitaker hints that there may just be a method

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I HATE YOUR SHOES. I MEAN I LOVE YOUR SHOES. I MEAN I LOVE YOU. I MEAN...

to his madness. Consider a scene in which Amin talks of his aff init y for the Scottish culture; Whitaker is brilliant in the way he conveys Amin’s humor, obsessive tendencies and possible lunacy all at once. The dark horse in the Best Actor category is veteran actor Peter O’Toole for his role in Venus. Having never won an Oscar (not even for Lawrence of Arabia), he is the emotional favorite. Leonardo DiCaprio’s work in Blood Diamond was exceptional, but he was better in The Aviator and still has a long career ahead of him. Ryan Gosling’s nomination for Half Nelson, as well as Will Smith’s for The Pursuit of Happyness, are rewards in themselves. It would have been easy for Whitaker to play a cartoon version of Idi Amin, but he infuses his performance with enough nuances to suggest a deeper humanity, however warped. This is Whitaker’s award to win.

Don’t get me wrong, every one of these ladies deser ves a shot at the Oscar and each has made a contribution to the film industry with her outstanding performance. Penelope Cruz is breathtaking in Volver and Kate Winslet is outstanding in Little Children. The quality that separates Helen Mirren from the rest is her transformation of the character she plays. The woman fits the role of Queen Elizabeth II in every manner. Her posture, her look, her speech and most importantly, her gestures are so believable to the audience. From the moment the film starts, Helen Mirren has already personified Queen Elizabeth just by looking at the camera. The audience gets a feel for the rest of the movie and also is able to see a gentle, more compassionate woman behind her actions. If an actress can do this, then it is clear that she deserves recognition for her work. Mirren steals this movie and makes it amazing. Michael Sheen complements her well but the woman walks onto the scene and instantly gains the respect of everyone around her. So much is conveyed in her acting that sometimes she does not even have to say a word and the audience is still able to understand simply by looking at her. This is a sign of a true compelling performance that weaves between fact and f iction. Helen Mirren deserves this Academy Award this year.

JENNY MCCARTHY • STAFF WRITER

Pixar seems to do no wrong, and they proved it again with Cars. Like previous Pixar films, the film invokes a sense of silliness and playfulness. The studio has a formula that seems to work: fun animation + jokes tossed in for adults = Oscar gold! Starring the voices of Owen Wilson, Paul Newman, Bonnie Hunt and many other familiar celebrities, it’s no wonder this film can grasp your heartstrings. Wilson voices Lighting McQueen, the fastest car on top of his game who gets lost on his way to his big race. He winds up in Radiator Springs, where he meets some interesting and wise new friends, Mater and Doc Hudson. And, of course, he learns more about himself than he ever has on the racetrack. With the perfect combination of a heartfelt family movie and amazingly realistic animation of the American southwest, this f ilm should be a shoo-in. Keep workin’ that Disney magic!

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EDDIE MURPHY, I MISS YOU ON COCAINE.

Newcomer Jennifer Hudson is the frontrunner for Best Supporting Actress. Having won at the other major awards ceremonies, she is the heavy favorite in her category. The former American Idol contestant was nominated for her performance as Eff ie, the f iery diva and emotional center of the movie musical Dreamgirls. In the film, Hudson’s powerful screen presence overshadowed even those of top-billed performers Jamie Foxx and Beyonce Knowles. Her character Effie was the most volatile in the film, and Hudson acted the part with confidence, sensitivity and attitude to boot, easily deserving her nomination. Hudson’s electrifying rendition of the showstopper “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” was a knockout as she delivered the song amid tears of rage and disbelief. Not only was her range extraordinar y, but her sheer volume seemed to outshine anything else happening onscreen. She was truly the star of the movie.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

JENNIFER HUDSON (Dreamgirls)

ERIC NYBERG • STAFF WRITER

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BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE EMILY COTTERMAN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Little Miss Sunshine is the type of fun, quirky film that the Best Original Screenplay category was made for. For bigger categories (Best Picture, Best Actress, etc.), comedies usually don’t win, but for smaller ones, lighter-hearted movies have a chance. Like winners Lost in Translation in 2003 and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in 2004, Little Miss Sunshine had great, dysfunctional characters whom audiences like, as well as a good comedic cast — Greg Kinnear, Steve Carell, Toni Collette, etc. The neurotic family full of problems that gets together to take young Olive (Abigail Breslin) to compete in a beauty pageant is funny and reminds us of our own familial dynamics. Also in its favor are an award from the Writers Guild of America and a BAFTA (British film award) for best original screenplay.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

EDDIE MURPHY (Dreamgirls)

ELYSE RUSSO • STAFF WRITER

So the question on everyone’s mind for the Academy Awards this upcoming weekend has to be, “Why wasn’t Eddie Murphy nominated for Best Actor for his exquisite performance in Norbit?” On a more serious note, Eddie Murphy has been nominated for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of James “Thunder” Early in the movie Dreamgirls. And according to our buzz staff writers’ votes, he has a pretty good chance of winning. So why does funny man Eddie Murphy finally deserve an Oscar? This reason alone: his performance in Dreamgirls makes the audience empathize with a character who does not deserve our empathy. As a womanizing drug-addict and, later on in the film, a washed-up has-been, Mr. Early should not rouse our remorse; but with Murphy’s charisma and sense of humor, the audience laughs and cries throughout Mr. Early’s successes and failures. It seems that this role was written for Eddie Murphy, as I could not imagine anyone else playing this part so well.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

PAN’S LABYRINTH ALINA DAIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

This weekend will bring us the long-awaited Academy Awards. It is difficult not to choose Pan’s Labyrinth as the winner for Best Foreign Language Film, as it has touched audiences in ways that the usual and repetitive filmmaking has not been able to in quite some time. El Laberinto del Fauno, as it is called in Spanish, is the Mexican nomination. It is directed by Guillermo del Toro and tells the story of fascist Spain in 1944, during which a young girl finds an escape through her imagination. The uniqueness of the film is that the boundaries between reality and the imaginary are not entirely clear. We see the brutality of the time period while on the other hand we are drawn into a fairy tale that is as likely to be real as it is to be imaginary. The ending of both of these parallel tales deserves an Oscar in its own right. INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

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BUZZVAN.

BEST PICTURE AND DIRECTING

THE DEPARTED JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

In the Academy Awards in most years, the films that deserve to get recognized are not and the ones that don’t deserve recognition get it. Of the year’s top f ive f ilms (in order: Children Of Men, Pan’s Labyrinth, Volver, The Departed and The Painted Veil), only one of them received a nomination. This is not to mention that Little Miss Sunshine, a highly overrated and unimpressive film, stole a best picture nomination and will probably end up walking away with the statue on the 25th. Nonetheless, I’m still holding The Departed as my dark horse pick for best picture. Scorsese was at the top of his game and The Departed ended up being both a f inancial and critical success (a rarity for him).

As far as “best directing” is concerned, who do I think deserves to win? Two words: Guillermo Del Toro. Unfortunately, he’s not nominated, so I’m going with my second choice: Martin Scorsese. 2006 may well prove to be the year for the man who has been nominated in this category six times prior and has yet to win. Alas, Scorsese is not without his competition. He’s up against Paul Greengrass for his work on United 93, a film that I wasn’t personally impressed with, but one that has managed to garner much critical praise and various pre-Oscar awards. However, it’s generally agreed to be unlikely for Greengrass to steal the award this year. You can also forget any competition from either Stephen Frears (for The Queen) or Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu (for Babel) because there isn’t any. It’s just going to be Greengrass and Scorsese, mano-a-mano and the odds are being highly placed in Marty’s favor. By the end of the night, we’ll see if Scorsese goes home with the award or remains in the elusive club of great directors such as Hitchcock and Kubrick who never won a best director Oscar either.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

MARIE ANTONIETTE PAUL PRIKAZSKY • STAFF WRITER

Sophia Coppola’s lavish biopic of France’s titular queen revels not so much in its story but its sumptuous and grandiose display of elaborate costumes. Under the guidance of seasoned designer Milena Canonero, Marie Antoinette burst forth from the cinematic gates in regal garb earning a hard-fought victory for historical accuracy and classical legitimacy. Well-orchestrated and period-perfect, the fashion of 18th century France is elegantly displayed on screen. The aforementioned attire is extremely important when evoking the mood and revival of the aristocracy in such a movie. It can either falter and succumb to the plague of anachronism or achieve a sense of realism that just might make pantaloons and corsets vibrant and exciting once again. Coupled with Coppola’s pop music-infused montages, audiences are given the grand tour of ostentatious French fashions. From exquisite

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embroideries to gowns sewn with gold and made from rich satin, Canonero encompasses the full spectrum. The famously beheaded queen was a trendsetter and a leading fashion icon in her day. One of Antoinette’s contributions to French style was the pouf, an aristocratic hairstyle where the hair was teased as high as possible, coated with powder, elaborately curled, and then adorned with various ornaments, ribbons and feathers. Antoinette was constantly at the forefront of fashion thanks to her court of designers, keeping her abreast of every innovation. But despite the strength of the gorgeous costume design, Coppola’s story lacks a little bit of everything. Resoundingly booed at the Cannes Film Festival last year by the very unhappy French, Marie Antoinette, like the eponymous title character, is all glamour and no substance.

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FILM

DADDY’S LITTLE GIRLS JENNY MCCARTHY • STAFF WRITER

Tyler Perr y made a hit in 2005 with Diary of a Mad Black Woman and again last year with Madea’s Family Reunion, but th is t i me a round he falls somewhat short of his previous successes. It probably has to do with the fact that this f ilm lacks the character of Madea and the fact that this is his first film not based on one of his plays. Whatever the reason, despite Perry’s creative comedy and flair for melodramatics, Daddy’s Little Girls is just simply too predictable and over-the-top. Idris Elba portrays the film’s daddy, trying to protect his three young daughters from their drug- and alcohol-induced hazed mother. He takes a job as a chauffeur for Gabrielle Union, a self-involved career woman who takes a certain interest in him. Union’s friends are after her to settle down with a man, but once she hooks up with the help they turn up their noses. While Elba canoodles with Union, across town his daughters are getting smacked around and told to take drugs and drinks by their mother and her gangster/ drug-dealing boyfriend. Perry is an extraordinary writer, and it works best when he not-so-subtlety defies AfricanAmerican stereotypes in his films. Once again, he applies this to Daddy’s Little Girls, but it doesn’t work as well as it has in his past films. Still, Perry has courage to address topics that are typically taboo in black cinema. Despite this fact, Perry is growing more as both a director and a screenwriter. He’s on his way with this film, but his talent that he has showcased in just the past two years alone gives hope that he can only do better than Daddy’s Little Girls. You’ll get a good laugh and a somewhat moral lesson from the film, but I’d recommend sitting out ’til Perry’s next film in hopes that Madea will be back onscreen.

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MUSIC AND LYRICS PAUL PRIKAZSKY • STAFF WRITER

You know it’s around Valentine’s Day when the studios churn out another cookie-cutter romantic comedy wherein two hilariously mismatched stars triumph over adversity and their shortcomings only to find true love. This movie had potential. However, you have to remember that we’re dealing with Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant here. In the past, both stars have managed decidedly mixed results. Music and Lyrics is surprising for several reasons. It is surprising because we’re dealing with somewhat original material, because there’s an odd couple with some chemistry and because nobody came up with a better title. Adeptly spoofing ludicrous ’80s music and their respective videos, Music and Lyrics is the story of Alex (Grant), a has-been star from a Wham!like group, who is offered career redemption: the chance to write lyrics to the latest pop-star flavor-of-the-week, Cora (Hayley Bennett) aka a Shakira-esque bimbo. There’s just one problem: Alex doesn’t do lyrics. Enter Sophie (Barr ymore), lyricist savant and occasional plant-waterer. Will this unlikely team complete the song and fall in love? What do you think? W hi le Bar r y more pl ay s of f her d it z y lovability to genuine appeal, Grant, to no avail, recreates the only role he’s per for med since Four Weddings a n d a F u n e ra l : t he stuttering, perpetually nervous, British fop. But it works. Why? T he se a re cl a sh i n g sensibilities from two very different forms of classic comedy. Grant’s restricted, stiff upperl ipped pomposit y melts seamlessly with Barrymore’s free-wheeling, bold “witticisms.” Music and Lyrics isn’t g round-break ing. It won’t storm the global box off ice and it certainly won’t be mentioned in AFI’s Top 100 Romance Films of the 21st Century. This kind of sickly-sweet, irritating goodness can only be found in the stereotypical rom-coms of Grant and Barrymore. But for the one date movie you may be dragged to kicking and screaming all year long, you could do a lot worse.

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MEN ONLY COOK SPAGHETTI.

BREACH

GHOST RIDER

MRUGESH BAVDA • STAFF WRITER

JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

Chris Cooper (a face you may know from Adaptation. and American Beauty) puts out yet another stunning performance in the thriller Breach. Film after film, the man meets critical acclaim in any role he plays and Breach is no exception. In this fast-paced film, Cooper plays pious FBI agent Robert Hanssen, who is accused of sending information to the Russians and costing not only millions of dollars in damages, but also the lives of many Americans. The FBI gets suspicious and decides to send in Eric O’Neill (Ryan Phillippe) in order to investigate. From there, the movie becomes an intellectual battle between the two men that proves to be both entertaining and satisfying. There is constant clash for trust between Hanssen and O’Neill and also between O’Neill and his wife. O’Neill gets tested at every level of his life by Hanssen and this often makes him question all of his beliefs, one of which is religion. The movie is an engaging criminal drama that is based on a true story. Director Billy Ray is known for taking accurate events and turning them into taut dramas, which can not only tell the story but also keep an audience interested. He proved this with Shattered Glass, and now he has taken it to the next level with Breach. There has not been a film in the criminal drama category that has proven to be this enjoyable for a while now. Breach is a smart thriller that has an amazing performance from Chris Cooper and challenges the young Ryan Phillippe to keep up with his fellow actor.

BRIDGE TO TERIBITHIA SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

Bridge to Terabithia has all the look and feel of a simple, but pleasant after-school TV special. But once you discover this story’s origin and history, you will realize the adaptation of this moving tale of innocent, pre-teen friendship and loss is tepidly pedestrian. Bridge to Terabithia is Katherine Paterson’s 1978 novel won the Newbery Medal, an award for the best children’s fiction given by the American Library Association’s Association for Library Service to Children and is considered a classic in modern children’s literature. While this adaptation, by Jeff Stockwell, and the author’s son, David Paterson, is surprisingly faithful to the story and contains much of the book’s essential dialogue, it has the thematic sensitivities of a book out of the progressive 1960s era. Directed by Hungarian filmmaker Gabor Csupo, Bridge to Terabithia concerns the shortlived friendship of two fifth-graders, Jesse Aarons and Leslie Burke. Jesse is the middle child of five, with four other sisters; he imagines himself to be the fastest runner in his class and somewhat of an imaginative artist. Leslie is the new girl in school, sounds from the scene

Ghost Rider is everything you’d expect a movie about a flaming skeleton that rides a motorcycle would be and a bit more. Instead of giving us another Daredevil, director Mark Steven Johnson delivers a film so perfectly cheesy, so mindlessly entertaining, that one can’t help but enjoy the movie with their brain on autopilot. Ghost Rider is the kind of movie that transcends “bad” and enters the domain of “awesomely bad.” However, this doesn’t necessarily make it a movie worth seeing. Sure, it’s got god-awful acting, several completely over-the-top sequences and plenty of dialogue that will make you laugh at the expense of Johnson’s poor screenwriting “abilities” (not to mention the obvious plot holes that you could drive a flaming motorcycle through), but do you really want to waste 115 minutes of your life in the process? The film concerns Johnny Blaze (Nicholas Cage) who sells his soul to the devil (named Mephistopheles, played by Peter Fonda) in order to cure his father’s cancer. In exchange, Blaze becomes “the devil’s bounty hunter” ordered to collect the devil’s contracts. Unfortunately for Mr. Mephistopheles, his son is bent on taking over his father’s role and he doesn’t like that, so he sends Blaze after his son and his gang of fallen angels. Essentially that’s the whole movie. The ghost rider is more or less invincible, so there’s really not any “conflict” between him and the devil’s son ... it’s more or less just a time line of how long it takes him to accomplish the deal. Along the way, we get to meet several fun characters; there’s Johnny Blaze’s best friend “Mack” (perfect name for a crewman of Redneck 0 e n t e r t a i n m e n t , n o? Maybe he’s also a truck dr iver.) who is played by Donal Logue and of course the childhood love interest who is played by Eva Mendes, who proves once again that T&A don’t give you any acting talent. You’d think that with an expensive cast like this, they could afford to put them in a better movie. Personally, I enjoy stupid films like this. However, I highly doubt the general public will do the same. the only child of parents who are writers and who don’t allow TV in the house. Being social outsiders and bully magnets in school, Jesse and Leslie soon discover mutual interests in a wooded area near their rural homes where they let their imaginations loose and create wonderful adventures in a makebelieve land called Terabithia. Csupo’s adaptation is too literal and at times simplistic. It brings to visual reality many of the trolls, winged monsters and woodland creatures that are strictly in Jesse and Leslie’s imaginations. Matt Aitken’s visual effects spring into reality and disappear in inky puffs of darkness in the magical world of Terabithia, but the real magic of Paterson’s story is the touching real-life friendship. Josh Hutcherson and AnnaSophia Robb, Jesse and Leslie respectively, achieve only moments of this magic on screen, while special effects seem to be more of the filmmakers’ concern.

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THEATER

MADAMA BUTTERFLY ALINA DAIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

“I myself wasn’t interested in opera and had certain stereotypes towards it, but when I saw my first opera, everything changed,” says Ashmani Jha, who plays the mezzo-soprano role of Suzuki in this weekend’s Krannert production of Madama Butterfly. Let these words be a message to those of us who had dismissed the idea of viewing an opera in favor of a more productive or “cooler” way to spend our time. Madama Butterfly has it all — drama, intrigue and emotional music that can appeal even to those who are not accustomed to this genre. It is the story of an American soldier who becomes infatuated with a young Japanese geisha, marrying her on a whim. He then leaves her in Japan with an intention of finding a “real American wife.” What follows is a passionate and powerful culmination with all the sentiment of a classic Shakespearean-style tragedy. Madama Butterfly is based on the plot of an English play, witnessed once by Giacomo Puccini who was so touched that he resolved to compose it into a libretto. Puccini, an early 20th century composer, was unique in that he understood the dramatic power of real-life emotions in music. Madama Butterfly demonstrates such a production in the sense that the young heroine experiences the sentiment of love, the cruelty of men and the suffering that these can cause. After some revisions, the opera was produced successfully in 1905, becoming a favorite ever since. The UIUC production of Madama Butterfly is directed by renowned faculty member and director of the UIUC Opera Studio, Jerold Siena, and conducted by associate professor and Chair of Opera, Maestro Eduardo Diazmunõz. Amy Fuller, a UIUC alumna, performs the lead role of Madama Butterfly. She has recently returned to the University to begin working towards her Doctorate of Musical Arts degree in vocal performance, after having sung professionally in numerous productions. “Our stage director, Professor Siena, a professional performer himself, has been extraordinary. He has guided us through the rehearsal process in a manner that has allowed all of us to grow into our characters,” Fuller said. “[The] conductor, Professor Eduardo Diazmunoz, has musically prepared us thoroughly and beautifully for this musical and vocally challenging operatic score, and has allowed us to experience extraordinary musical moments.” The performance will alternate between two casts, each bringing its own flair to the roles and the characters’ development. The production will run Feb. 22-24, at 7:30 p.m. and Feb. 25th, at 3 p.m. at the Tryon Festival Theatre in the Krannert Center. You may be thinking of waiting for a chance to see Miss Saigon, a lighter musical based on the same plot, but the opera is undoubtedly an experience in its own right, and I intend to be sitting in the front row.

An image from the play Madame Butterfly, playing at the Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, February 22-24 at 7:30pm. PHOTO COURTESY OF ERIC STONE

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the stinger kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

Celebrating female genitals And the way they are supposed to function

Dear Rice and Ruin, I’ve wondered about a few things for a long time but have been unsure about asking. I’m only 17 years old, but for years I’ve experienced slight leakage and discharge in my underwear; I can never fully control it. Second: what exactly is your vulva supposed to look like? This may sound ridiculous somewhat, but I just feel it’s not the way it’s supposed to be and, therefore, it is harder to keep clean. I’m not sure exactly what to ask because I’m not sure what to expect as an answer quite yet, but anything will help at this point.Thanks for your time. Sincerely, Health and the Body

ILLUSTRATION BY MARIA SURAWSKA

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

“Don’t Be Shocked”--this is 24 Sheet that’s worn out the current situation. 27 Opp. of NNW by Matt Jones 28 “Man!” 30 Keyboard key 32 Swear Across 33 Former Bird teammate 1 Hot rock 35 They’ll never show up in 5 Smallest bit the first place 9 Sound of a dull impact 37 Exciting, as a finish 13 Word said with a sigh 40 Astronomer who 14 Prefix for postale described planetary 15 Sacha character motion 16 Argyle, for one 41 Taboos of some diets 17 2001 title role for Judi 42 “___ been a ba-a-a-a-d Dench and Kate Winslet boy” 18 Kind of column 43 Seasoning in San Juan 19 Bit of self-promotion 45 Dial-up alternative 22 Off the table, perhaps 46 However 23 “This is fun!” 49 “I forbid you!”

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Down 1 Glen girls 2 Oahu’s “how are you’s” 3 Leave the premises 4 Know-it-all’s challenge 5 Sound like a siren 6 “Not this again...” 7 Cork-based, maybe 8 Like some salads 9 “Speckled” fish 10 Suffering from shots 11 Cycle start 12 Dwarf with glasses 15 “The Family Circus” cartoonist Keane 20 Firehouse vehicles 21 Kitchen duty implements 25 “An Inconvenient Truth” narrator 26 Sounds babies hear from adults 29 Contest participant 31 Unsportsmanlike move 33 Tool used for handpunching belt loops 34 List-ending abbr. 36 Member of the fam 37 Band who wore red plastic hats 38 “My life is an ___” 39 Went out (with) 40 Joke around 44 Bakery output 51 PBS show since 1974 46 Chimney Rock and 53 Little egg others 55 Sneaky sales tactic 47 Ailments of the stressed 58 Merchandise 48 The Azadi Tower’s city 60 ___ scallopini 50 Like some gag gifts 61 Annoying suffix for 52 Sweater shape people’s first names 62 “Chain Gang” songwriter 54 Much-hyped software release of 2007 Sam 56 Laurence, in “What’s 63 ___-1 (“Ghostbusters” Love Got to Do With It” car) 57 “Children Playing” sign 64 Prefix meaning “one word trillion” 58 Poli ___ 65 Only ghost not mentioned by name in “Pac- 59 Bunch Man Fever” 66 Bend out of shape 67 Pro gp. Solutions pg. 28

Dear Health and the Body, Excellent question! With the lack of sex education available to youth, it is no wonder that you are unsure if your genital anatomy is normal, or if your body is functioning properly. In fact, many women have grown up never seeing the beautiful variations in female genitalia. DIVERSITY IS NORMALITY No two people look exactly alike. This is true of our genitals, too. While every woman has the same “parts” — a clitoris, outer lips, inner lips, vaginal opening, urethra and anus — the shape, size, color and prominence of the genitals is unique to each individual. Some women have more pronounced (big) clitorises. Other women have more prominent outer lips or longer inner lips. Some women have very short inner lips but thick outer lips and a smaller clitoris. All these women have normal vulvas (the collective term used to describe the external genitalia of the female). VIEW OTHER’S VULVAS It can be very validating to see just how different vulvas are by seeing pictures of them. One option is to find a human sexuality book that has pictures of various vulvas. One we recommend is Human Sexuality: A Psychosocial Perspective (2005) by Ruth Westheimer and Sanford Lopater. This recent textbook has a few pictures of different vulvas. But it could have included a thousand more, since no two vulvas look exactly alike. To truly see these differences, we recommend the book Femalia by Joani Blank. After looking at this colorful book of pictures, we are confident you will see that you look exactly as you should. Both the Human Sexuality and Femalia books are available at the UIUC library. The Urbana and Champaign libraries do not have the Human Sexuality book, but they can order it for you through interlibrary loan, and notify you when it has arrived. Femalia can be purchased on amazon. com for about $13 and is recommended for both females and males. Although it’s difficult to find Web sites that show affirming pictures of female genitals, one site we recommend is www.bettydodson.com. Click on the “Sex for One Genitals” link. There

you’ll find pencil drawings of lots of different vulvas in their wonderful glory! VAGINAL DISCHARGE IS NORMAL, TOO A healthy vagina produces secretions in order to keep it clean, and to maintain the ph balance required to keep it healthy. This is similar to how the body produces saliva to regulate the environment of the mouth. The secretions produced in the vagina leave the body as normal vaginal discharge. All women have some vaginal discharge and it changes throughout your menstrual cycle. When healthy vaginal discharge

     . T     , . dries on your clothing, it can appear clear, cloudy white or yellowish. It can at times be thin and stringy (sticky) and can have a mild odor. Changes in vaginal discharge are normal and are affected by arousal, changes in your menstrual cycle, stress, nutrition, pregnancy or medications you may be taking. An infection of the vagina can also cause changes in the discharge. If you notice the discharge is much heavier, thicker and clumpier, appears gray or watery or has a fouler odor, you should visit a health care provider to make sure you do not have an infection.

SEX 411 • Women can have vaginal infections even if they have not had intercourse. An example is a yeast infection. • If you are concerned about the way your genitals look or how your body functions, see a health care provider to get the reassurance that you are normal. • If you do not have or are uncomfortable seeing your family physician, you can contact the Champaign-Urbana Public Health District or Planned Parenthood to see a medical provider. • Planned Parenthood and Public Health also have health libraries with resources such as books and videos that may help to normalize the size and shape of your body.

Kim Rice and Kate Ruin are sex educators. Send your sex questions, comments and opinions to riceandruin@yahoo.com.

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EVERYONE LOVES A VULVA.

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free will astrology FEB. 22 — FEB. 28 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

Have no fear of the damp and the dark and the cramped. In a place fitting that description, you can track down clues to a mystery that will inflame your curiosity and educate your soul; you can tap into a fresh surge of courage that’ll render at least some of your suffering irrelevant. Expect a miracle to appear in the shadows, Aries. It could resemble a cornucopia spilling over with diamonds and potatoes, or maybe a charred fireman’s helmet bedecked with sexual roses and fresh $20 bills.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

Don’t you dare get superstitious on me, Taurus. Just because you’ve had more than your fair share of luck lately doesn’t mean that you’re now going to get less than your share. It is possible that you’ll have to work harder to continue benefiting from what has been coming pretty easily. And it may be the case that you’ll be pushed to take on responsibilities that you assumed were covered by other people. But that doesn’t mean you should lower your expectations. If anything, you should ask for even more fun, fascination, and freedom.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

Calling all you big fish languishing in small ponds, all you flashy amateurs who’ve been avoiding tougher audiences, all you closet geniuses who have used shyness as an excuse to keep your idiosyncratic brilliance under wraps: This is your wake-up call. Sneak or saunter or leap up to the next level of excellence-or else! Or else what? Or else your pretty fantasies will start to decay. Sorry to be so pushy, but I’m aching to see you seize the starring role in the unlived chapters of your life story.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

Question: Which part of you is too tame, overcivilized, and super-domesticated, and what are you going to do about it? Answer, from Jason R., a Cancerian reader: “I was like a mole in a suburban backyard. I had just one little path I trod each day: to the compost pile and back. I chewed on orange rinds and leftover cabbage. I was tamed by the comfort of my familiar environment, content to have a narrow vision. But then I was eaten by a hawk, and became part of a wild, free body. Now I perch on the tops of trees and the peaks of roofs. I survey giddy-wide horizons, from the river to the mesa and far beyond. I have a wealth of choices. Where to fly? What to hunt? Who are my allies? My thoughts breathe deep, like the slow explosion of sun on the morning lake.”

LEO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

Here are tips on how to get the most out of your time with the other signs of the zodiac during the next three weeks. With Sagittarius: Think bigger and go further than you normally do. With Libra: Enjoy beautiful things together. With Cancer: Make yourself easy to give to. With Taurus: Let him or her help you get less theoretical, more practical. With Aquarius: Collaborate in making the flow of ideas crackle and splash. With Capricorn: To deepen your bond, laugh at hypocrisy together. With Pisces: Join together in feeling rich emotions about a person or situation you both care about. With Gemini: Dare to express three of your different sub-personalities. With Aries: Remember that spontaneity leads to truth. With Leo: Playfully brag to each other. With Scorpio: Dive down together, going deeper than you could have by yourself.

LIBRA

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

In the coming weeks, you’ll attract cosmic assistance whenever you add to your repertoire, branch out artistically or socially, or start gathering seed money for a project that may take years to ripen. Mythically speaking, the coming weeks will also be a good time to have intimate relations with a fertility god or goddess, and to plant magic beans that will grow into a beanstalk that reaches the sky. “Is that it?” you may be asking. “Nothing but good news?!” My only caveat, which is pretty minor, is that you might add a few pounds to your frame. If you’re a hetero woman, that could be caused by a pregnancy unless you’re careful.

In a couple of weeks it will make sense to aggressively insert your vivid presence into the thick of the action. There will be dizzying opportunities to chase down and intoxicating connections to forge. But it’s premature to get riled up about all that yet. For the foreseeable future, Sagittarius, take your inspiration from Franz Kafka, who gave the following advice in his book The Great Wall of China: “You need not do anything. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, just wait. You need not even wait, just learn to be quiet, still, and solitary. And the world will freely offer itself to you unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”

There are two basic approaches to manipulating people. In one, you manipulate people solely for your own good. In the other, you do it equally for your good and their good. In the second type, moreover, you deeply empathize with and even become more like the people you want to influence. You allow them to work their magic on you at least as much as you work your magic on them. Guess which kind I’m urging you to express right now, Capricorn.

Human beings have employed steel to make tools, weapons, and buildings for many centuries. But it wasn’t until 1913 that they discovered stainless steel, a stronger and purer version of the metal that’s virtually rust-free. I predict a comparable development for you in the coming weeks, Aquarius. Some essential resource that you’ve been enjoying for a long time could become even better and more useful. It won’t happen all by itself, though. You’ll have to want it and seek it and agitate for it.

July 23 – Aug. 22

You’re strong medicine these days, Leo. You’re 100-proof mojo. You might want to consider pinning a warning label to your shirt or jacket. It could say something like “Caution: Contents are hot, slippery, and under pressure. Use at your own risk.” It’s not that you’re evil or neurotic. It’s just that as you revisit and revision your deepest psychosexual questions, you have so much cathartic potency that you’re likely to transform everything you touch into a more authentic version of itself. People with weak egos will be afraid of that, while those with strong constitutions will love it.

VIRGO

SCORPIO

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

“Think dangerously!” read the headline on today’s bright yellow piece of junk mail. That sounded inviting. I’m always eager for help in overthrowing my certainties. But the product being promoted inside the envelope was just a piece of propaganda: a magazine touting Libertarian dogma. I threw it in my recycling bin along with all the other doctrinaire crap I constantly get from fundamentalists of every stripe, including rightwing religious nuts and leftwing atheists, New Age pollyannas and intellectual cynics, science-haters and science shills. Now here’s the climax of this horoscope, Pisces: *Really* think dangerously. Question *every* belief, your own as much as everyone else’s. French author André Gide said it best: “Trust those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.” Homework: You can read a lot of my most recent book for free online at http://tinyurl.com/lhwx2.

Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

“Dear Rob Brezsny: Two months ago I met the first person with whom I am completely psychic. We fell deeply in love, of course. But it turned out that neither of us was ready or able to fulfill the potential of our connection because we are nowhere near as profoundly in love with ourselves as we are with each other. The good news is that through my love for him, I have intensified my desire to learn to love myself. The bad news is that we can’t really be together as fate intended until we upgrade our self-love. -Lucky Yet Unlucky Libra.” Dear Libra: I hope your testimony will inspire other Libras to boost their luck in love by deepening their love for themselves. Astrologically speaking, it’s a perfect time to attend to this worthy project. Puzzle pg. 27

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I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

mfuufst!up! uif!fejups! Michael Coulter doesn’t have the right to whine about lost revenues when he’s got a hand in my pocket and everyone else’s whose paychecks help fund Medicaid. Unlike private insurers, we don’t yet have the right to take more from his pay to help offset the future oxygen tanks and the other AVOIDABLE health care costs his habit will necessitate. Coulter should count himself lucky we still let him smoke in his home and car, because we are the ones who ultimately are going to be picking up the tab for it. That said, I am sympathetic to the fact that quitting smoking is not easy. I am more than happy to support any programs or policies that encourage smoking cessation, as the cost in human suffering and lost potential is simply too great, far outweighing any health care costs. My parents died early from smoking-related cancers and emphysema. They died grisly, painful deaths that no one should have to endure or witness. I can only imagine what they could have accomplished had they quit smoking sooner, or never started in the first place.

L IK E S G R IP E S AND

LET IT OUT

Emily Ciaglia Copy Editor GRIPES 1) Slush: I’m really excited about the snow melting, but the slush and huge puddles are really annoying. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stepped on what I thought was solid snow only have my foot sink through into a huge puddle. 2) Energy bills: $340 for one month. Enough said. 3) Grocery shopping: It’s just such a hassle. I hate trying to finagle those big carts through the aisle and then wait 20 minutes to check out. It’s not over then though, because when I get home I have to struggle to fit all my food in a fridge that is somehow ALWAYS full?!?! Seriously, how many bags of frozen chicken does one apartment need?

Anne Barnes Champaign, Ill.

Michael Coulter: 1) You are being overly dramatic. It’s only a ban on smoking (and secondhand smoke) in bars and restaurants. That doesn’t make this Nazi Germany. 2) It’s only been about two weeks. Isn’t it a little soon to make proclamations about the smoking ban hurting businesses? 3) Might the lack of business in bars these first few weeks of February have something to do with, oh, I dunno, a blizzard of which we haven’t seen the likes of since 1979? Tammie Redenbaugh Champaign, Ill.

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Tatyana Safronova Editor in Chief GRIPES 1) Sickness: You know how it is: You shuffle through your days, hour by hour, feeling like perhaps an abduction by ET (which would surely result in a probing followed by one’s death) wouldn’t be as bad as this terrible feeling of a cold coupled with food poisoning. I know I’m exagerrating, but in these terrible days, you forget what laughter feels like, what a good night’s sleep is, how food tastes, and what’s it like not to have your face and body self-destructing. 2) Sugar: Eating too much sugar for me feels like getting hit in the stomach with a sledgehammer. A tasty sledgehammer, perhaps, but a sledgehammer nonetheless. It also doesn’t help that I’m averse to wasting food, because I’ll eat that last cookie, and down the root beer float (despite the fact that I don’t even like root beer!). 3) Canned wax and fava beans: The wax beans taste like mush and the fava beans taste like iodine-glazed marbles. Who came up with this trash? Go back to Cordon Bleu, you failures!

Maria Surawska Designer GRIPES 1) MTV rap videos: Unattractive and/or fat men in ridiculous attire, sporting grills, riding expensive cars and carrying around wads of cash, all the while half naked girls dance and shake their asses around them. You can’t even understand the lyrics since every other word is censored, not that I’m interested in actually listening to them. However, my anger subsides when I heard ridiculous, ridiculous songs such as “Shake Your Laffy Taffy.” 2) Gibberish: One of my irrational personal pet peeves is gibberish or incoherent phrases. I can’t stand it. It makes me uncomfortable and I hate it. My mind can’t wrap itself on such nonsensical phrases as “chim chimmery chim chim chiroo” or those commercials proclaiming the Blue Man Group to be the “top knobler.” You can image my horror and disgust when I get spam e-mails that flood my screen with “Adamsamy leeamy nuttallamy corrangel. Real err sagging according daily mail, year old.” Even looking at this is making me squirm. 3) Burning your tongue on hot food: I get greedy when drinking my tea. Or eating my Curly QQQ’s (deliciously bad for you generic curly fries that I found at the Country Market). I take one bite of this crunchy, oven baked, starchy goodness and after several bouts of swearing, I regret every second. But then I get antsy and repeat the process over again. As I write this, I’ve singed off several of my taste buds on hot tea, which has prevented me from tasting my meals to their maximum flavor potential.

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LIKES AND GRIPES CONTINUED

Meghan Whalen Copy Chief LIKES

1) Watching children cry: I find myself standing in long lines with loud children whose faces are shiny with tears and snot. Children whose voices screech like monkey owl hybrids. It’s so honest, so fearless, so helpless and pathetic. I fall in love every time a child explodes. 2) Staring people down on the sidewalk: If you walk directly at someone on the sidewalk it’s a little game of chicken. First of all, YOU NEVER MOVE. Stay the course, fight the good fight and if they don’t move and you crash, you can have a fun little scuffle. 3) Pretending I have a bluetooth thingy in public: I do not have a bluetooth thingy, but I have noticed how it’s totally kosher to talk to yourself in public now as long as you have one of these things. So, what do I say? Cut out the middle man. Talk all you want, to whomever you want, as loud as you want — 2007 — IT’S DAMN NEAR THE JETSONS UP IN HERE!

Renee Okumura Designer LIKES 1) Long distance boyfriends: I like the fact that having long distance relationships prevents me from being distracted from my studies. Less arguements, less drama and less sex. Oh wait, that’s a bad thing. Just take my word, long distance relationships aren’t so bad. 2) Warmer weather: This week has been a great start to warmer temperatures. Yeah, the melting snow and dirty slush may be a little unpleasant but think about all the frost bites you won’t have to bear. So take off those heavy coats, itchy scarves and thick snow boots because the weather is starting to get fun! 3) Betty Boop: I definitely cherish my Betty Boop calender that I keep on my desk everyday. She’s sexy, she’s stylin’ and she has the most weirdass shaped head I’ve ever seen. I wish I could be just like her!

VOTING BEGINS MONDAY FEBRUARY 26, 2007

1) The Food Network: I’ve never been much of a foodie, but now I’m totally addicted to the Food Network. From Paula Deen’s artery-clogging hot dogs wrapped in bacon to the Barefoot Contessa’s fruit and veggie dishes, these chefs actually make me want to try cooking. Except Rachael Ray. She’s annoying. 2) Snow Days: Two weeks I woke up, looked out the window and saw snow falling. It was so pretty and cold and serene that I decided I didn’t want to leave my apartment and gave myself a snow day. And then last week the University decided to give me two more. I love it. 3) Barack Obama: I love him. Love him love him love him. He’s exactly what our country needs. Obama 2008!

Amelia Moore Photography Editor LIKES

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Lisa Fisherkeller Copy Editor GRIPES 1) The University trying to cancel Unofficial: Yes, the students here might celebrate the glorious holiday, but it is not an event run or sponsored by the school and therefore they have no right to control it. They may claim their students are too irresponsible with their drinking habits, but plenty of students go out and binge drink with their parents on Mom’s and Dad’s weekends, which is a school-sponsored event. 2) Walking to class: Putting on all the layers just to walk out the door and still have the icy wind cut into you. Then the obstacle course of the snow mounds and ice patches to make it to class doesn’t seem worth it. I’m all for hibernating for the winter. 3) Not getting days such as President’s Day off school anymore: The random three or four-day weeks thrown into a month just made the school year seem easier to get through

Music books • Lessons • Repairs

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