Buzz Magazine: March 8, 2007

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QUALITY VS AESTHETICS PG4

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THE ESSENCE OF UMPHREY’S MCGEE

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GO BEYOND THE BEATS

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CELEBRATE THE CONDOM!

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BUZZ STAFF volume

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no.9

Cover Design • Maria Surawska Cover Photo • Amelia Moore Editor in Chief • Tatyana Safronova Art Director • Nikita Sorokin Copy Chief • Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear • Carlye Wisel Stage, Screen & in Between • Keri Carpenter Around Town • Evangeline Politis CU Calendar • Annette Gonzalez Photography Editor • Amelia Moore Designers • Agatha Budys, Renee Okumura, Maria Surawska Calendar Coordinators • Caitlin Cremer, Katie Heika, Bonnie Steinberg Photography • Amelia Moore, Greg Hinchman Copy Editors • Lisa Fisherkeller, Emily Ciaglia, Ilana Katz, Whitney Harris Staff Writers • Brian McGovern, Carlye Wisel, Amy Meyer Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Mike Ingram, Kim Rice, Kate Ruin Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 512 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50 © Illini Media Company 2006

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INTRO This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN Aesthetics vs. Quality • Laura Sullivan Community Snapshot with Priceless Books • Michell Eloy Note: Seth Fein’s column will not appear this week.

LISTEN, HEAR Meat, Metal and Modern Music • Carlye Wisel Album reviews Margo & the Nuclear So and So’s • Brian McGovern Red Hot Chili Peppers Review • Carlye Wisel CU Sound Revue • Mike Ingram 2007 Local Music Awards Nominees

CU CALENDAR STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN Beyond Beats and Rhymes • Samantha Lee Movie reviews Chorus Line • Syd Slobodnik Artist’s Corner with Ryan Groff • Matthew Hoffman

CLASSIFIEDS THE STINGER Doin’ it Well • Kim Rice Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Free Will Astrology Likes and Gripes

tatyana safronova EDITOR’S NOTE Happy International Women’s Day! When I lived in Russia, March 8 was a big event; women recieved flowers and presents and often celebrated the holiday just among themselves. I see this even now in the Russian community. It’s a holiday similar to Mother’s Day, just aimed at a greater audience. I believe each holiday is important and can stand its own ground, but interestingly enough, I’ve heard one sentiment that Mother’s Day is more important, because women are common but mothers are sacred. To discuss this idea further, more than 50 percent of the world’s population is born as a woman — nothing special, considering the other half is born as a man — but it takes something special to become a mother. The concept of holiday superiority doesn’t seem unreasonable when you compare it to Father’s Day; there isn’t an International Men’s Day after all. But I began this column by wishing you a happy Women’s Day for a reason. Aside from mythologies and certain matriarchal cultures, women aren’t sacred. And neither are men. But unlike men, women never even counted as anything more than property until the last

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century, and that’s only in some parts of the world. In others, women aren’t expected to be seen or heard. Those sentiments aren’t completely absent from our culture either — A woman president? During a time of war? Are you kidding me? She’ll PMS and hit “The Button”! (Forget that Margaret Thatcher reworked the economy of United Kingdom and waged a war with Argentina over the Falklands.) But what about Mother’s Day? Just as simply as one is bor n a woman, a woman can birth a child. It happens by choice, by force, by coercion, by accident. But not every woman can be a mother. And not every woman wants to be one either. But just because she doesn’t want children, it doesnt make her less of a woman. I believe it’s honorable when a woman decides not to have children instead of becoming an unwilling mother. And if she makes that decision, why should her holiday — Women’s Day — be considered less valuable than Mother’s Day is for a woman who decided to have a child? Perhaps discussing the importance of holidays is all meager semantics, but many people still consider it somehow improper for a woman to not want to be a mother. I hope that women will continue making their own choices, and hopefully this will lead to happier women, men and children. sounds from the scene

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I WAS THEN TAKEN EAST IN A CAGE.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Delighting in dumb people

If this show is an indication, our future is bleak T h e r e’s a m ov i e f r o m 1994 directed by Robert Redford called Quiz Show. I’ve watched it many times, mostly because it’s wellacted, interesting and like all movies you watch over and over again, there’s just something about it. It concerns a 1950s game show called 21 and how it was rigged so a wealthy pretty boy named Charles Van Doren would win for weeks on end. It was a strange time in America when being smart was actually considered a good thing and we wanted smart “heroes.” I don’t want to say we’ve regressed, but for shitsake, there’s a show on television now called Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Seriously, that can’t be a good sign. I guess we’ve really moved on since the 1950s. Now, rather than celebrating smart people, we’ve decided to all have a good laugh about how ignorant we are compared to children. I mean, really, look at who we elected as our leader for eight freaking years in a row and then tell me if there’s really a need to have a television show that verifies our stupidity. I bet I know which color states they went to to find most of the contestants. Red or blue? Hmm, where the hell are all the morons that could easily be defeated by a fifth-grader? I should pause for a moment and say I’m not mocking or belittling our nation’s fifth-graders. I’m sure many of them are quite intelligent and that’s awesome for them. On the other hand, just because you know what a prime number is doesn’t necessarily mean you can successfully balance a mortgage, a car payment, an exponentially increasing power bill or 16 beers a day and still be somewhat functional. All I’m saying is it may not be because the children are smart so much as we adults just have more important crap on our minds. Whatever, most of us probably deserve to be taken down a few pegs either way. The show is basically a garden-variety quiz show with adults versus fifth-graders. I would assume this point would be obvious to most everyone, but maybe not. I suppose it’s obvious to a fifth-grader though. The show is hosted by Jeff Foxworthy. You know what, I actually sort of like that guy some times. This is likely because I come from fine redneck stock. I have to say though, if you make your living mocking the ignorant — even if you include yourself in this group — you’re really beginning to be part of the problem.

Anyway, with the kids against the adults, the program takes on a family feel. It’s not a smart family feel, but rather a creepy backwoods Appalachian family feel, but it’s a family feel just the same. It’s on after American Idol, so Fox Broadcasting makes it simple to cram an entire week’s worth of idiocy in one evening’s viewing, if your family chooses to do so. I’ll be honest, I’m not a family sort of guy, so I really only made it through about 10 minutes of the show. Seriously, that was plenty of time for me to weep for both the past and the future. I’ll admit I was feeling a little high and mighty after I switched back to the History Channel: “Fuck yeah, I’m way smarter than a fifth-grader.” I know, I know, it’s a hard thing to utter those words without losing a huge chunk of dignity. Still though, I had my doubts about myself, so I went online and took the quiz on their Web site. I’m proud to report I answered five out of five. Wow, I can feel more dignity slipping away with each passing boast. There are five questions on the Web site. One about woodwind instruments, another about compound words, one about adverbs, a nearly tough one about the cerebrum and a comparison between a mile and a kilometer. Once again, feels sort of weird to brag much about knowing the answers to all five. I mean, seriously, shouldn’t everyone know that kind of shit? I think I’m a complete moron on a shockingly regular basis and I got all of them right. In all fairness, I never got too cocky about my dominance over the 10-year-olds. I turned on Jeopardy! the next afternoon and was quickly handed my ass. There’s something about competing against an intelligent adult that can really affect a dumb person’s arrogance. I doubt I got even one-third of the questions right. On the other hand, I bet very few people actually watch that show. So, I’m not bragging or anything, but I am smarter than a fifth-grader. Really though, it’s a losing proposition to begin with. If you go on the show and you’re smarter, you may come off looking like a bully. If you go on the show and you aren’t smarter, well, um, then you’re probably kind of an idiot. I’m sure it’s all in good fun and I also know it’s probably a good idea to laugh at yourself sometimes, but those defeated adults have to go somewhere. I imagine it won’t be long until they’re competing against third-graders, then eventually kindergartners. With any luck at all, in two years there will be countless shows that celebrate our nation’s stupidity. Actually, it probably won’t take that long.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • We wrongly credited the photo of The Never in our Feb. 22 issue. It was courtesy of thenever.org. • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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AESTHE TICS VS. QUALIT Y E X PA N D I N G IDEAS OF PRODUCE IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA LAURA SULLIVAN • STAFF WRITER

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Arrangements by Amelia Moore and Nikita Sorokin. PHOTO BY AMELIA MOORE

mound of Peruvian potatoes, grown at Urbana’s organic Blue Moon Farm, sat lifeless in Common Ground Food Co-op for weeks. The problem: they were purple. Members of the community-owned agriculture scheme shied away until general manager Jacqueline Hannah nudged them with an e-mail. The chemical that makes the potatoes purple is the same chemical that makes blueberries blue. “They are an amazing antioxidant,” she told them. “Ten times the nutrients of a regular potato.” The next week they were gone. The USDA says Americans are eating more fruits and vegetables than 20 years ago, but busy lifestyles demand prepackaged, year-round staples. Convenient bagged baby spinach and salad kits now drive the industry, according to an April 2006 report. A recent study by the American Agricultural Economics Association also shows most Americans judge produce based on the way it looks. Americans want familiar produce, and they want it to look perfect. Champaign-Urbana grocers, farmers and restaurants take issue with these tendencies. “Local food looks like real food. It looks like something that grew from a plant,” said Hannah. For those interested in sustainable and organic agriculture, real food is local food. It has imperfections, diversity and seasonality — and it is better for our health. INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

“We want our cauliflower bright white,” said Burt Asbill of Mahomet’s First Fruits Farm. “We want our apples looking like patent leather. We want our greens to be dark, dark green.” “You are not going to get that if you are picking to ship. You have to do something to it,” said Burt Asbill with a “Born to Farm” hat perched on his gray hair. Burt Asbill thinks it is harmful pesticides that keep conventional produce looking perfect. And he would know; he worked on California peach farms for years before getting frustrated with the amount of pesticides used and started his own farm. The Asbills’ farm is currently “sustainable,” but Nancy Asbill will try to get her 25 raised flower beds certified as organic next season. For now, the Asbills say “producing quality food” or “food that is not tainted to give it an aesthetic appeal” is more important than becoming organic. Sustainable farming is a difficult term to define and many local sustainable farmers have differing ideas; most agree that it’s about not using harmful pesticides and trying to minimize environmental impact. Pesticide-free produce is the most important factor in produce purchasing in the United States, according to the American Agricultural Economics Association. Their recent study also shows most consumers rank qualities that can be “assessed visually” as the most important, including both those who shop directly from farmers and those who shop primarily at supermarkets. IN

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Joyce Smith of Urbana scanned rows of vegetables at the Round Barn IGA in Champaign. “I buy produce that has bright colors,” Smith said. “I look for produce with no bruises.” The most popular vegetables in the United States are potatoes, tomatoes and lettuce and the most popular fruits are oranges, apples and grapes. Both groups account for over half the market share in vegetable and fruit markets, according to the USDA. These same popular fruits may be packed with chemicals. A recent study by the Environmental Working Group compiled 43,000 USDA and FDA tests on produce from 2000 until 2004. Apples were the second worst produce listed and 92 percent of the samples contained pesticides after washing. 79 percent of apples tested positive for more than one pesticide. Grapes and oranges were the 19th and 20th worst produce tested. Potatoes ranked 12th worst, with 81 percent containing a detectable pesticide. Local sustainable produce has more variety than conventional produce; it might have holes or dents in it. It may be a novel work of nature, like the zebra heirloom tomatoes at Common Ground that are striped dark green and light green. “Heirloom tomatoes are beautiful. They can be just works of art themselves,” Hannah said. Hannah believes that buying local sustainable or organic produce means breaking down customers’ aesthetic conceptions of produce in terms of visual diversity and size. sounds from the scene

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“When you go to the store, you get Roma tomatoes. Well, we’ve got heirloom tomatoes,� said Hannah. She said the tomatoes were going extinct until “some farmers decided to grow them for flavor, not because they could be shipped and they will still be good in four weeks because they taste like plastic.� Hannah said customers have to get accustomed to a larger var iet y of sizes for f r uits and vegetables. “We’ve come to think of apples and tomatoes and so forth as something that always comes exactly the size of a baseball. It is perfectly smooth, no dents, no abnormalities whatsoever. And if it has any difference from that, we think it’s inedible. We’re afraid of it.� She tries to ease customers into trying new things by being their liaison, their buyer. Common Ground is closed to the general public but owned by members who pay a one-time $30 fee. The earthy shop is in the bottom of the Illinois Disciples Foundation, where it has been since 1978. Hannah said members are “people who have very progressive politics, who care very much about the community we’re involved in. They have heard about things like organics or local foods and know what that’s all about.� These members seem the prime demographic for strange fruit, like light-green, fractal-shaped Romanesco cauliflower. But even the members need a push at times. The idea of buying local food is married to the idea of buying seasonally. Many think

PHOTO BY NIKITA SOROKIN

eating seasonally is healthier and better for the environment, whereas shipping produce often requires a great amount of fossil fuels and the fruits lose some vitamin content in the process. This is readily apparent in Champaign-Urbana in the winter when produce is scarce and the temptation to buy produce shipped from large manufactures in Florida or California is great, even for health food stores like Common Ground or Strawberry Fields that usually buy out local farmers’ produce. Tr ic i a Si x i s t he produce m a n a ger of Strawberry Fields. She says customers want her to carry produce even when it’s not in season, so she relies on larger distributors. “A lady really, really loved Blue Moon’s spring onions, but they were out of season,� Six said. “So she ‘had a cow’ with my assistant.� Eating local food can also mean expanding taste buds. Downtown Champaign’s bacaro Italian

restaurant features upscale Italian cuisine prepared with almost exclusively local ingredients. Chef and owner Thad Morrow pushes local taste with uncommon fruits and vegetables, and uncommon combinations. Ramps, a wild leek in season in spring, is one of Marrow’s favorites. “We take a traditional Italian dish and put our own spin on it by using a local ingredient,� Marrow said. Mushrooms are a great example. “Italians get porcini (mushrooms), but here we get good hedgehog mushrooms and morels. But if my dad goes mushroom hunting and brings me back a bunch of morel mushrooms, they are going to be good because my dad just brought them to me,� Marrow said. Instead of a classic Italian porcini mushroom risotto, bacaro might offer morel and asparagus risotto. Using unusual ingredients gives the cooks inspiration and keeps customers excited

about food, according to Marrow, but it does take more explanation. Libby Brown is bacaro’s resident wine guru. She has been with the restaurant for almost three years and says most customers ask for an explanation of the menu. The servers serve as “interpreters� of new, unusual produce and combinations. The response is positive so far. Brown said about half of the customers are repeat customers. Others are catching on to uncommon local produce and asking for more. In their new shop, Nancy Asbill sees many regular customers. “Because we have been doing it for eight years, we have people who taste it and come back. They are seeing the quality. They are seeing the freshness. They are seeing the flavor. I had a lady come in the other day and she said, ‘I’d never had purple cauliflower.’�

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(Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

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LITERARY FINDINGS WITH MIKE VAILLANCOURT AND BILL THORNHILL Priceless Books, an Urbana bookstore

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937

MICHELL ELOY • STAFF WRITER

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Bill Thornhill, one of the owners of Priceless Books in downtown Urbana, works behind the counter of his store on Monday afternoon. PHOTOS BY AMELIA MOORE

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n the corner of Main and Broadway streets in downtown Urbana stands Priceless Books, a little bookstore that’s easily missed if you aren’t paying attention. Ironically, this little bookstore is very much like a book itself, in that it can’t be judged by its cover. What draws people into the shop is not the outside façade but rather the warm and inviting atmosphere inside the store. The tall, wooden shelves that fill the small store are stacked with countless colorful, old books. The sounds of classical music resonate against the shelves and rocking chairs are situated between the aisles, inviting people to come in, relax and lose themselves in a good book. Offering literature on subjects ranging from fashion design to technical science, the invitation to get comfortable seems to be extended to almost everyone. The owners of this small, used bookstore are Mike Vaillancourt, 48, and Bill Thornhill, 53. Since opening 14 years ago, Priceless Books has become a popular place among people in the Champaign-Urbana area. “What we are trying to do here is create a place where intellect can be refreshed,” said Vaillancourt. “We want it to be a place where people can come to talk to other people who are interested in books.” “I hope,” Thornhill added. “It’s a place where people can come in and find things that they couldn’t find in other bookstores.”

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Vaillancourt and Thornhill were born in Connecticut and Rhode Island, respectively. The two met while attending graduate school at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in the early 1980s. While there they discovered a shared passion for the literary word and decided to devote their futures to owning a book store together. “It’s something that both of us had a very strong interest in,” said Vaillancourt. “We’d always planned on doing something like this someday. We just really liked books.” That dream came true in 1993, when Thornhill moved to Champaign-Urbana to join Vaillancourt in opening up Priceless Books. “We knew we wanted to do something in a town like Champaign-Urbana,” said Vaillancourt. “You have to be in a college town to survive as a used bookstore, and [Urbana] was just the right size. It has a nice feel for a used bookstore.” Over the years, the store has become popular among the people of CU. Business is fairly balanced between students and residents of the city. University students are attracted by the abundance of cheap scholarly and academic books. At the same time, the stacks of unusual and out of print books have made this bookstore a place of interest among the locals. “There is a lot of contact between people who like to buy books,” said Vaillancourt. “People who buy books tend to talk about them to one another, and I think that is primarily responsible sounds from the scene

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Yalda Aydin-Mullin, U of I graduate student, looks through books in the mathematics section of Priceless Books in downtown Urbana. “I saw a book she’d like, but some lucky bastard got it first,” said Mullin’s friend and fellow grad student Andrew Ledoan (not pictured).

for us keeping in the public eye around here.” That same contact between readers is responsible for keeping Priceless Books in business. The majority of the books that line the shelves are sold or donated to the bookstore by the people of Champaign-Urbana. Yet for a store that deals with the old and used, Priceless Books is attune to the future of book sales. Almost half the business the store gets is from online purchases. “[Online sales] are almost necessary to survive as a used bookstore these days because so many people don’t even leave their homes when they want to buy books,” said Vaillancourt. “You don’t get as much in-store traffic as you did four or five years ago.”

Despite this, Vaillancourt and Thornhill still enjoy seeing people come into the store, for the joy in their work comes from being able provide people with just the book they need. “Ideally [a book] could change people’s lives,” said Thornhill. “It can teach them something of which they don’t know, or teach them more about something they would like to know more about.” “A good book can suggest possibilities that the person who is reading it has never imagined before,” said Vaillancourt. “It opens up one’s horizons, an important thing that one can get out of reading.”

Bill Thornhill, a partial owner of Priceless Books, poses for a photo amidst the crowded shelves of his bookstore in Urbana on Monday afternoon.

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MEAT, METAL AND MODERN MUSIC The essence of Umphrey’s McGee’s Jake Cinninger CARLYE WISEL • MUSIC EDITOR

“I

PHOTO COURTESY OF TIM JACKSON

used to work on a veal farm, honey,” quipped Jake Cinninger, while laughing. As the guitarist and frontman for Umphrey’s McGee, the goofilynamed, prog-rock jam band that has exploded in popularity, there’s a lot he could boast about. But despite a successful three-night New Year’s Eve run in Chicago, a recent improvisational compilation release, and a new two-disc album complete with Storm Thorgerson artwork on the way, he’s still the same old Jake — a self-proclaimed blue-collar boy from small-town Michigan. As a teenager, Jake worked on his uncle’s farm raising baby cows for livestock. “I used to have such compassion for the animals,” he remarked. “I’d let them go run out in the field, and I’d have to take each one of the cattle back to their spot, and literally have to carry them.” Even more interesting is the reason why he took the job — to pay for a drum set.

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“I had my parents co-sign for my big drum set, and they’re like, ‘You gotta pay it off, kid! Seems like the veal farm is calling your name!’” he laughingly recalled. On the verge of his band’s eighth album release, it’s probably safe to say that his summer spent working on the farm was worth it. In early April, Umphrey’s McGee — comprised of guitarists Jake Cinninger and Brendan Bayliss, keyboardist Joel Cummins, percussionist Andy Farag, drummer Kris Myers and bassist Ryan Stasik — will release The Bottom Half, their new, highly anticipated two-disc album. For their previous CD, 2006’s Safety in Numbers, 35 songs were recorded, but only 11 ended up on the actual disc. “We had this plethora of material left over,” explained Cinninger. “We just went back and cleaned it up over the year, and then we made The Bottom Half off of that.” While the first disc contains songs that didn’t fit into the emotionally driven storyline concept of Safety in Numbers, the IN

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second disc has rougher cuts of songs that let the fans in on the way the group writes music. “[It’s] kind of like a sneak peek into our personal recording catalogs. It’s our four-track recordings from my personal studio that end up actual Umphrey’s McGee songs,” he said. Cinninger, who enjoys heavy metal bands such as Blue Oyster Cult — “They’re the whole reason I’m in a rock band” — went back to his favorite studio recordings from various genres for inspiration during his three weeks in the studio. Though he listened to old Electric Light Orchestra, Steely Dan and European progressive rock from the ’70s during this time, he finds current metal bands, such as Lamb of God and Satyricon, to be extremely artistic and forward-moving. It may seem surprising that Jake — whose speedy fingers, soulful playing and natural talent have accelerated his band to the top of the jam rock hierarchy — considers the new wave of American and European metal to be “the hottest stuff on the sounds from the scene

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JAM ON YOUR FACE.

PHOTO COURTESY OF TONY PIRRI

market right now.” But he’s just being true to his roots: “I used to be such a metal-head as a kid — that’s where I got my chops, how to play heavy. I kind of let metal go for years, and now I’m getting back into it, realizing, ‘Wow, this makes me feel like a kid again.’” While crediting Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio at the Merriville Star Plaza as the best concert he’s ever been to — “Black Sabbath at Star Plaza? Sign me up!” — the impact live music has had on him becomes apparent. “It takes a lot to surprise me now; I’ve seen a lot,” told Cinninger. “I go back to those feelings of those early shows. You know, I probably ran home and practiced for three days.” Experiences like these have shaped Jake into the fan-oriented performer he’s become. “Sometimes I get a little reluctant singing an alt-country type tune at an Umphrey’s show that might be one of my tunes,” he admitted. “It just doesn’t go over as well live, I feel. The kids wanna rock, so we gotta give them the rock show.” With hundreds of rock shows under their belt, the band can’t help but grow tired of their more popular tunes. Jake explained, “After playing [a song] a thousand times over, you gotta find reasons to bring the heat again. Because you’ve gotta bring it, you know? You can’t just fake it! If we’re not all feeling up to that song for a particular night, we just won’t play it for that reason. One night I might feel like, ‘Guys, I don’t want to sing tonight. I just want to be a guitar player.’ Some nights you just don’t feel like being that frontman, you know? Luckily there’s [Brendan] Bayliss over there, taking care of that.” Umphrey’s McGee has been anything but disappointing — just look at the way they exited 2006. After three nights of crazy concerts at Chicago’s Aragon Ballroom with Los Lobos, North Mississippi Allstars and Taj Mahal & the sounds from the scene

International Rhythm Band as opening acts, they still had enough energy to ring in the new year with a rendition of SNL’s “Dick in a Box.” Yeah, they’re that kind of group. “New Year’s is like our Super Bowl — that’s kind of how we like to look at it,” Cinninger commented. “These are our biggest shows of the whole year, and it sort of sets up the way next year’s gonna feel. It’s really awesome to walk into three nights a little reluctant, a little frightened, a little scared, like, ‘I hope we can pull this off, guys,’ and then walk right out of it smiling and high-fiving, feeling that we really accomplished something.” With Umphrey’s McGee’s ever-increasing fan base, Cinninger has noticed a change in his audience, especially at larger shows like those on New Year’s Eve. “High school kids are really diving into this whatever-progressive-jam-rock we’ve got going on, and I think it’s really exciting,” he said. Not as exciting for Jake, though, is the pop-rock music that reigns supreme on MTV countdown shows — he considers the network’s transformation of music into a visual entity to be nauseating. “It’s not really about the music or being a musician, you know?” said Cinninger. “Sure, some of these kids can play ... but they really can’t play play. They don’t really know the ins and outs of rock and roll, they don’t know the ins and outs of jazz, they don’t know the ins and outs of funk, classical, and to really get a broad scope, you gotta go there for a little bit.” Cinninger, who favors old-school t ypes of recording, a lso disl ikes the way those aforementioned bands release and record music. “It’s just sort of backwards now. You don’t really have to pay dues and get good, you can just use ProTools and make your stuff sound perfect ...

and then you sound like crap live!” chuckled Cinninger. “I think it’s all about keeping it real, you know ... the way Pink Floyd would record, or Led Zeppelin would record — that’s the right way of doing it. It costs a little bit of money, but that’s what separates the men from the boys.” There’s no doubt that the phenomenally talented members of Umphrey’s have solidified themselves as true leaders — men, if you may — in the prog-jam-rock world. It seems, though, with any popular jam band, there are fans who are just there for “the scene.” Jake’s response: “A lot of times people are hearing these progressive rock stylings for the first time, so they don’t understand what they’re hearing sometimes. So, I mea n, m aybe f ive months down the road it will hit them like a ton of bricks — ‘Oh, I get what I’m hearing now.’ It’s just like wine — it’s got to sit on the shelf a bit. And then, it’s very much drinkable.” Regardless, there’s still the die-hards — “I was walking around Wakarusa [Music Festival], just trying to find where the stage was, and all the sudden, there’s some guy on my back, literally piggy-back-ride kinda style,” Cinninger recalled, while laughing. “I’m like, ‘What is going on here?’ It would have been different if it was a girl ... but it was a dude!” No matter how famous Umphrey’s gets, or how many sweaty men jump on his back, he’s still good ol’ Jake Cinninger at heart. When I sarcastically requested that he play my favorite song at Wednesday’s show, he said he would — but suggested I call him the day of, because he might not remember. “You like my music, you’re a friend of mine,” he said. And, for some reason, I know that this heavy metal-loving, blue-collar boy turned big-time guitarist truly meant it. Be sure to see Umphrey’s McGee with special guest Adrien Belew on March 14 at the Canopy Club. The show is 18 and over, and tickets are $20 in advance.

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album reviews On Display THE JOEY GAYDOS GROUP [Self]

BY BONNIE STIERNBERG

B The journey from child stardom to rock glory is one that is attempted by few and completed by fewer. However, 15-year-old Joey Gaydos Jr., who played lead guitarist Zack Mooneyham alongside Jack Black in School of Rock, appears to be well on his way. Joined by drummer Nick Brandon and bassist Jonathan Redmond for his new album, On Display, Gaydos sets out to prove that he didn’t peak at age 12. Anyone who’s seen School of Rock knows that Gaydos can play. The child prodigy has grown up a bit since we last saw him on the big screen, and he delivers with performances reminiscent of rockers almost 50 years his senior. (Try not to fall out of any more trees, Keith, or Gaydos could be your successor one day.) The guitar-driven tracks like “Where You’re Goin’,� “Wake Up Your Mind� and “Get Out of My Heart� prove to be the better songs on the album. The former also features great work by bassist Redmond.

The big surprise o f t he a l bu m i s G aydos’ si n g i n g. Remember, this is the same kid who struggled to stay on key and sheepishly told Jack Black, “I’m no singer� in the movie. However, his vocals work well for the most part, and the uneasiness from the film is replaced with the bravado of JOEYGAYDOSJR.NET an up-and-coming rock star. Gaydos’ best vocal track is “In Your Dreams,� where he sneers, “You think you’re something/You think you’re something/Only in your dreams.� This isn’t to say, though, that Gaydos doesn’t at times sounds young and inexperienced. Once in a while, we find a flash of teenage awkwardness in his voice, but when his voice finishes changing, Gaydos will be as good a vocalist as any. His riffs and solos are still the main appeal of this album, and fans of his guitar-wielding character in School of Rock won’t be disappointed. With On Display, Gaydos and company remind us that while you may not be old enough to drive, you’re never too young to rock.

Boys Like Birls BOYS LIKE GIRLS [Columbia Records/Red Ink]

BY STEVE MAROVITCH

D+ Sometimes album covers are misleading. I’m a sucker for eye-catching cover art, and this little aspect of my life has established itself as a liability more than once. Well, it’s happened again, and the saying, “never judge a book by its cover� never had as much relevance to me as it does now. Boys Like Girls’ new self-titled album is a mind-numbing collection of corny emo tracks. While listening to this CD, my body naturally rejected the sickly sweet songs and threw them up in the form of a gnarly headache. As far as I can remember, I’ve never gotten a headache reviewing an album before, but the whiny vocals and repetitive guitar riffs on this CD were enough to change that. At f irst, I was surprised this band has so many fans – they’ve got over 100,000 friends on MySpace, and they’re in competition for one of spin.com’s artist of the year awards. But, then I realized something: this sort-of emo/lightweight punk has taken over where Britney and *NSYNC left off. Pop groups

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like the Backstreet Boys have disappeared and been replaced by The All-American Rejects, Fall Out Boy and more pertinently, Boys Like Girls. So, instead of worshipping Lance Bass, girls in junior high school can now worship Tyson Ritter. Just because they have fans doesn’t mean they’re good; this album is far from it. The majority of the songs are irritatingly repetitive and filled to the brim with jaded, sappy lyrics. Case in point, the single “Thunder,� which even includes a Keanu Reeves-style “whoa� in the middle for even more Orange County appeal. This CD is chock-full of the kind of crap you would expect to hear on MTV’s Laguna Beach — a reliable indicator of bad musical taste.

INTRODUCTION TO THE CHAMPAIGN COUNTY CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM March 13, 2007 7:00 PM Urbana Civic Center 108 E. Water, Urbana

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MARGOT & THE NUCLEAR SO AND SO’S “Pop music or whatever ... with a twist!” BRIAN MCGOVERN

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Bo Jackson, a modern day Renaissance man, taught the world many things. He excelled in both professional baseball and basketball, he fought crime with Wayne Gretzky and Michael Jordan on a Saturday morning cartoon and most importantly, he could not be tackled in Tecmo Bowl. Besides the Sesame Street guest appearances and iconic ad campaign, Bo Jackson was also a modern philosopher. “Set your goals high,” he said, “and don’t stop till you get there.” Both as wise and tasty as a fortune cookie, Jackson’s words still hold true to this day: case in point ... the eight-piece Indiana band Margot and the Nuclear So & So’s. Called everything from “sex-folk” to “scarf rock,” Margot is a one-of-a-kind band with such a large sound that genre-creating is needed to describe them accurately. “I’ve heard us called ‘orchestral rock’ ... ‘chamber pop,’” Emily Watkins, Margot’s pianist/back-up vocalist/sporadic ‘meow’-er, said during a recent phone interview with buzz. “Something with the word ‘melodic’ in it ... it would be a good word to use, I think.” Regardless of their nuanced descriptions, Margot is a band about carrying out goals. After the release of their superb debut, The Dust of Retreat, in 2005, the band proclaimed they would tour 10,000 miles and then start their new record. sounds from the scene

“We probably traveled at least 30,000 miles ... since the last record,” Emily Watkins laughed. “Just crazy amounts of miles.” And now that they knocked that goal out of the park Bo Jackson-style, Margot is back in the studio, creating an awesome sophomore album. “I’m way excited,” Watkins said from the band’s Indiana home. “It’s gonna be awesome. I don’t know how it couldn’t be because we are all so excited.” Excitement revolves around Margot like the electrons in a Bohr atomic model. Selling over 10,000 records through their former label, V2, playing sold-out shows in Chicago and San Francisco, and touring the nation thrice all in the past year, the simile is hardly a stretch at all. And to totally kill the metaphor, at the nucleus of this exciting dynamo lies the band’s live show. Margot started as primarily a four-piece — Richard Edwards and Andy Frey fronting with Chris Frey (Andy’s brother) and Tyler Watkins (not Emily’s brother) as the rhythm section. As the record developed, though, the membership grew. “When we started thinking about the live show,” Emily said, “everyone had to be a part of it ... it required so many people.” With a large lineup, the band can dive into songs with more power and energy than what

could have been done as a smaller outf it. Like other contemporar y ind ie col lectives l ike The Arcade Fire and Broken Social Scene, Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s prove the old adage “bigger is better.” Complete with trumpet, piano, cello and various hand percussions, Margot bring to their live show an intensity that exceeds their album. “People say they like it better than our record,” Watkins said, “I think we usually tend to make it a good experience.” Coming to town in their converted school bus, complete with eight bunk beds (like a “traveling dorm room,” as Watkins put it), Margot will play the Courtyard Cafe in the Union with Headlights. A big band, a huge sound and a tiny stage can only have fantastic results. Bo knows it ... even though he doesn’t know hockey. Make sure to check out Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s as they play a sweet-ass show with Headlights, Page France, Canada and Gentleman Auction House this Saturday night at The Courtyard Cafe. Admission is $5 for students, and $7 for the general public.

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CONCERT REVIEW: RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS CARLYE WISEL • MUSIC EDITOR

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A

fter arriving late due to parking lot traffic (my house in Urbana isn’t that close, and I was busy eating a cheese quesadilla anyways), I was able to catch the last few songs of Gnarls Barkley’s set. Too bad I couldn’t have missed it completely. Decked out in a variety of knee socks, white button-down shirts, red tartan and striped ties, Gnarls Barkley and their 10 back-up counterparts looked like a mix between Avril Lavigne, uniforms from School of Rock and Britney Spears’ “...Baby One More Time” music video, while sounding almost as bad as all three combined. The songs I did show up in time for were lifeless, live renditions of St. Elsewhere’s addictive, hyper-pop polished tracks. During “Crazy,” CeeLo’s rough, raspy voice showed signs of damage and wear, probably due to the long-term effects from wailing its high-pitched chorus. Gnarls’ onstage musical entourage — including the four-piece electric orchestral quartet dubbed “The G Strings” — put on a strong visual show with tacky costumes and high-energy dancegrooving, but moving around a lot couldn’t distract an overall unimpressed audience from their low-quality musical performance.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers, who hit the stage about 45 minutes later, were an interesting juxtaposition against their opening act. Standing below a technologically elaborate set — complete with four flat-screen panels that continuously switched positions, two sets of grid-like LED light bars and five chandelier-esque lighting pieces — their visual appearance never overshadowed their music, like Gnarls’. While Cee-Lo’s voice seemed weathered, Anthony Kiedis’ shrills still thrill, even after decades full of singing. What was quite notable, and possibly the bigest difference between the two, was RHCP’s intense, natural energy. Drummer Chad Smith, bassist Flea and guitarist John Frusciante had incredible charisma and on-stage chemistry, while Kiedis’ summation of a true rock singer solidified the group’s remarkable concert and the reason why they’ve been successful for so long. There were lowlights, however. Kiedis tended to emulate a lost puppy during instrumental sections, and they played the pathetical ly plagiarized single “Dani California,” which is a clear and blatant Tom Petty rip-off. But, after seeing their mediocre performance as Lollapalooza’s headliner last summer, I was

surprised by how much more impressive this show was. The hard rock and heavily drummed “Me and My Friends” was one of the highlights, with Flea stating, “That song was in the Top 40 for 11 weeks ... right next to Culture Club’s ‘Do You Really Want To Hurt Me,’” followed by an amusing tease of the song by Frusciante. The sweetly strong vocal harmonies of “Snow (Hey Oh)” energized the hungover, postUnoff icial audience members, while “By the Way” featured captivating switches between sharp, quick pre-choruses and calmer melodic verses. The “Soul To Squeeze” encore, with an introductory drum solo that morphed into all but Kiedis banging on drums, was a great way to end the show. In the day and age of technological recording effects, genre-blurring and attempted reinventions, it’s nice to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers, a rock band with raw talent, keeping it real and doing it right.

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ABOVE: Gnarls Barkley performs on Saturday night, at Assembly Hall, opening for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. RIGHT: Flea, bassist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, performs Saturday at Assembly Hall.

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The perfect storm and the perfect show in the same week MIKE INGRAM • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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This might be one of the most action-packed show weeks this town has ever seen, so I’ll dive right in. Tonight, the usual Aroma CafÊ acoustic night will feature the return of a familiar face in Eleni Mor a it es, who h a s recently returned to us from the east coast. She’ll share the stage ... er, corner with G. Lee (sadly still minus the Jet Blonde). That’s right, you get two ladies for the price of, well, none I guess, since it’s free. It’s also early (8 p.m.), meaning you can either get to bed early or head out to another show. One option if you do head out afterwards is Cowboy Monkey, where excellent Chicago-area band Bullet Called Life will play with locals mad mardigan (working on a CD) and Doxi (finally settled on a name, it seems). The Zorba’s jazz night will feature Weasel Dreams, starting their first set at 9:30 p.m. The Red Herring in Urbana will also host one of its intermittent shows, featuring fireflies, Morgan Orion and the Magic Chords and Hinter. The show starts at 9 p.m., no word on the cover. Friday night seems to be the perfect storm of shows in CU. The Redwalls will make a return to the area with a show at the Highdive, alongside The Living Blue, Probably Vampires and Roman Numerals. Showtime is 9 p.m., and the cover is $8. The Living Blue is exactly the kind of band that you want to see at the Highdive — loud and solid. I’ll again note how great it is that shows are actually happening at the Highdive again on a semi-regular basis. Down the block at Mike ’n Molly’s, the upstairs pipes have been f ixed, and elsinore will headline a show with two Indiana bands, A r ra h a nd t he Fer ns and Ever t hus t he Deadbeats. Arrah and the Ferns have been making quite a bit of noise touring all over the land for Standard Recording Company, including playing a very well-received show here in Champaign last fall. For those who like to see shows in a more intimate setting, this is a good chance to see one of Champaign’s best bands along with two great touring bands. Plus, Mike ’n Molly’s has one of the best beer selections in town. Cover for this show is $5, and it starts at 10 p.m. Venturing into Campustown will get you an outstanding show at the Canopy Club, where The Wandering Sons will play. The Sons are easily one of the best bands in the Midwest, and have also recently nabbed a spot for one of their songs in a Jimmy John’s commercial. Can’t complain about that kind of money. The bill also carries The Beauty Shop (with new bassist Eric Fisher, formerly of Lorenzo Goetz,

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who appeared with the band at the Great Cover Up), local fave Lynn O’Brien and Noah Harris (whose wife Adriel has been an excellent addition to the Sons’ lineup). But wait, there’s more. The Iron Post will be hosting an all-ages show with Mit’n, Coco Coca, The Dolphin and Chris Black. Cowboy Monkey offers JigGsaw, Butterfly Assassin, Snowsera and Apteka. Friday’s certainly a helluva night to see a show. As if Friday wasn’t ridiculous enough, Saturday night has one of the most loaded shows I’ve ever seen on paper. Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s (one of my all-time favorite bands) will headline, playing with Headlights (fresh from a European tour), Page France (fast becoming an indie sensation), Canada (not one, but two members wielding cellos) and Gentleman Auction House (the band to beat if you’re from St. Louis). If there’s one show you catch this whole semester, I highly recommend that it’s this one. Sure, it’s at the Courtyard CafĂŠ, which is a pain in the ass to get to, only to have no available alcohol, but this show is worth it. I can’t even figure how it’s only $7 at the door ($5 with your UIUC ID), but I guess that’s your tuition money hard at work. Take advantage. Sunday night the action moves back to the Highdive with Terminus Victor, who I often call the best hard band in the area. Don’t take my word for it (it’s totally true, though) — instead check out this show, also featuring Chicago’s Team Rockit, Mad Science Fair and Watery Domestic. The show begins at 9:30 p.m., and the cover is $5, which makes for a pretty great Sunday evening. Lynn O’Brien pops up with her piano again this week, this time on Monday in the WEFT studio for the weekly WEFT Sessions live show. She’ll play live on the air from 10-11 p.m. You can tune in at 90.1 FM, or stop by the station at 113 N. Market in Champaign ( just north of the Mike ’n Molly’s beer garden). Tuesday night at the Canopy Club, following an early show from The Faint with local act Coco Coca, the week ly Rehearsal Space show will get underway. This month features Jason Finkelman’s Nu-Orbit Ensemble, an experimental jazz outfit that is constantly gaining accolades for being one of the best in the area. One thing’s for sure — the Fink-man can jam. And on Wednesday you can hang with the hippies at the Canopy for the Umphrey’s McGee show. Let’s hope they’ve stopped covering “Dick in a Box.â€? Mike Ingram wants to send a shout-out to the huge pothole on Lincoln near Bradley that is causing so many flat tires. A call to the City of Urbana to get it fixed seemed to fall on deaf ears. Or maybe the music at Record Swap was too loud and the City couldn’t hear me. You can reach Mike at forgottenwords@gmail.com. sounds from the scene

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SOME ARE BORN TO SWEET DELIGHT; SOME ARE BORN TO ENDLESS NIGHT.

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LOCAL MUSIC AWARDS 2007

BEST FOLK/AMERICANA ANGIE HEATON AND THE GENTLE TAMERS KATE KROGER • STAFF WRITER

Angie Heaton and the Gentle Tamers — Josh Quirk on drums, Josh Wallden on bass and Bob Watson on guitar — are good at what they do. Blending a little bit of country with folk rock, pop and indie, and writing all of their own sweetly unique lyrics, they have been nominated, for the third time, in this year’s Local Music Awards, for Best Folk/Americana. Heaton’s musical career has taken off since her humble beginnings playing the guitar in high school. She is the former drummer of nu merous ot her loca l fol k rock ba nd s including the Tractor Kings, Corndolly and Liquorette. Since forming Angie Heaton and the Gentle Tamers, she has released three albums — Calamities and Restitution (1996), Sparkle (1998) and Let It Ride (2004). Their latest project, The Rumor Mill, is due for release this year, and one of the tracks, “Prayer for You,” can be prev iewed at myspace.com/ angieheaton. For more information and great song s f rom A ng ie Heaton and the Gentle Ta mer s, a l so check out thei r Web site at www.angieheaton.com.

Elsinore

PHOTO BY AMELIA MOORE

DELTA KINGS

TRACTOR KINGS

CAITLIN CREMER • STAFF WRITER

MICHAEL YOHANAN • STAFF WRITER

CAITLIN CREMER • STAFF WRITER

Under the name of the Delta Kings, band members Bill Humphrey, Kenny McNicholas, Cody Sokolsk i and Ter r y Hawk ins have established a steady off shoot of rhythm and blues with an infectious twang that has embodied their nomination for best American folk-rock band. For over 10 years, the band has built a steadily increasing following based around their versatile set lists and at-ease disposition. If you have not heard their music and you feel like rockin’ out, the well-refi ned Delta Kings will serve you up a dish of some nice, warm, elemental blues-rock that is entirely reminiscent of America’s root music at deltakings.com. Check out the song “When You Dance,” or take a trip into downtown Champaign this Friday and visit The Phoenix.

Sel f-procla i med “Space Cowboys”, the Tractor K ings cut an original piece in the Americana pie with a psychedelic folk-rock sound that melts country roots with alternative jams. The Champaign-Urbana quartet is lead by singer and guitarist Jacob Fleischlis, whose vocals present a genuine mix between the pleasure of Petty’s f lare and the satisfaction of Dylan’s rasp. With tracks such as “Crooked Miles,” which travels on jovial guitar rhythms reminiscent of the Traveling Wilbur ys and “Black Hole in my Head,” a delicate feedbackin f used ba l lad that belong s on Mog wa i ’s Mr. Beast, listeners can only anticipate the completion of their third album. Check them out at myspace.com/thetractorkings.

The recipe for a delicious Americana-folk-rock band consists of four main ingredients: Ryan Groff, Dave Pride, Mark Woolwine and Chris Eitel. I call this recipe: elsinore. Each member brings to the band an incredible array of enthusiasm and energy that forms the basic component of their music. On top of their indulging charisma, each song is composed of engaging lyrics and a smooth blend of musical genius that leaves you utterly intoxicated. elsinore’s ability to fuse rock and roll, soulful blues and groovy jazz is the very ingredient of their music that will leave you greedy for more. For a tasty treat, check out myspace.com/elsinoremusic and click on “Timid Maggie Mae,” or check them out in person at Mike ‘n Molly’s on March 8, around 10 p.m.

MIKE INGRAM SPEAKS:

ELSINORE

LOCAL MUSIC AWARDS CONTINUED ON PG. 24

Well, Angie Heaton does have the edge with sex appeal (what can I say? Josh Walden is immaculate), but The Beauty Shop seems to have this thing wrapped up, much to lead singer John Hoeffleur’s disappointment. Still, with the Tractor Kings playing some amazing shows this year, as well as elsinore ... this one’s wide open.

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THU. MAR 08 Live Bands Red Herring Coffehouse Presents: The Fireflies [With Hinter, Morgan Orion and the Magic Chords.] Channing-Murray Foundation 8:30pm, $3 Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, no cover Weasel Dreams Zorba’s Restaurant, 9:30pm, $3 Concerts Guest Artist Master Class [Amy Dissanayake performs on the piano.] Smith Recital Hall, 9am, free DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club [Nothin’ but Rock.] Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm Limbs [Hip-hop, breaks and party music.] Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm Dancing Free Swing Dance McKinley Church and Foundation 9:30pm Karaoke Karaoke with Randy from RM Entertainment Fat City Saloon, 9pm Liquid Courage Karaoke Jillian’s Billiards Club, 9pm Liquid Courage Karaoke The Office, 10pm Lectures/Discussions Free English Speaking, Listening Class [These classes work well for those whose native language is not English and emphasize beginning and intermediate listening and speaking skills.] Parkland College 9am “Poxvirus Immune Evasion Is Linked to Host Tropism” [A lecture by Grant McFadden.] Chemical and Life Science Laboratory (A), 4pm “The Rise of China and India and the Future Balance of Power” [A lecture by Galadas Ghoshal.] Gregory Hall 4pm “Piled Higher and Deeper” [Jorge Cham, the author of the comic strip about grad students and grad life, will speak.] Alice Campbell Alumni Center, 5pm Gallery Conversation [Talk with “Branded and on Display” exhibiting artists Conrad Bakker and Laurie Hogin.] Krannert Art Museum 5:30pm Round Table Discussion-Intercultural Dialogue [Free pizza and pop.] Illini Union, 6pm “So You Want to Start a Political Party” [This talk by Joe Futrelle of the Prairie Greens will be hosted by the Champaign County Libertarian Party.] McKinley Church and Foundation 7pm

“That’s Tacky!” A History of Kitsch Culture [This talk will illuminate on the effects of consumerism, consumption and the significance of emotional attachments to objects. Part of the Guest Residency with Allyson Mitchell.] Allen Residence Hall, 7pm “The Changing Face of Islam in South and Southeast Asia: State and Regional Security Implications” [A lecture by Baladas Ghoshal.] Armory Building, 12pm “Las Guadalupanas de Queretaro: Embodied Devotion, Political Economy, and the Production of Sacred Space.” [A lecture by Elaine Pena.] International Studies Building, 12pm Film “Casino Royale” (2006) [This Bond takes us back to the beginning, as James establishes the reckless style that will make him famous.] Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $3 What’s Up with Canada? Show and Tell of Recent Film and Video Work [With Allyson Mitchell.] Allen Residence Hall, 8:30pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park [Open until dusk, the “Allerton Legacy” exhibit at the Visitors Center is open daily. Garden tours can be arranged if you call 3332127.] Allerton Park, 9am Comedy Gary Gulman Canopy Club 6:30pm, $10 Miscellaneous Japan House Group Tours Japan House, 1pm Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours [To arrange a concert or Bell Tower visit, e-mail chimes@ uiuc.edu or call 333-6068. Enter through 323 Altgeld Hall.] Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings French Department: Pause Cafe Espresso Royale Oregon St. (Urbana), 5pm GAP Happy Hour [Join other graduate students and young professionals for a few drinks.] Boltini Lounge 6:30pm International Coffee Hour [Coffee, tea and homemade ethnic desserts are served.] Cosmopolitan Club, 7:30pm Family Fun Group Funfare [Preschool groups are invited to this program which will feature stories, songs, puppets and films.] Urbana Free Library 9:45am Mind/Body/Spirit Krannert Uncorked [Beverages may be tasted free of charge and will be available for purchase by the glass

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at special discounted price during the tasting. They will also be featured for the remainder of the week on performance nights.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 5pm, free Meditation and Yoga Classes [Free classes that include meditation exercises, yoga postures, deep relaxation and yoga philosophy.] Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center, 6pm Poetry/Readings Book Signing [Janet C. Berlo is a Professor of Art History at the University of Rochester, NY. She will be discussing and signing copies of her book “Quilting Lessons: Notes from the Scrap Bag of a Writer and Quilter.”] Illini Union Bookstore [IUB] 6pm, free

FRI. MAR 09 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am Boneyard Jazz Quintet Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, $3 The Wandering Sons with special guests The Beauty Shop, Noah Harris and Lynn O’Brien Canopy Club, 8pm, $6 in advance Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Delta Kings [Rock and blues.] Phoenix, 9pm, no cover Redwalls, The Living Blue, Probably Vampires, Roman Numerals Highdive, 9pm, $8 Mit’n, Chris Black, The Dolphin, Coco Coca Iron Post, 9pm $5 JigGsaw, What Four, Apteka, Snowsera Cowboy Monkey 9:30pm, $5 The Brat Pack Hawthorn Suites Convention Center 10pm, cover Impalas [Jazz and blues.] Hubers, 10:30pm, cover Concerts Jazz Forum [Bill Carruthers will play jazz piano.] Smith Recital Hall, 12pm, free DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm Deeplicio.us [DJ Mambo Italiano, house music.] Ko.Fusion, 11pm, no cover Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm Festivals Illini Juggling and Unicycle Festival [Annual festival that draws jugglers and unicyclists from all over the Midwest. Come juggle, unicycle, diablo and teach others how to do the same.] Armory Building 8am, free

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Lectures/Discussions “Local First, But What Next?: Knowledge, Sustainability and the Localist Movement” [A lecture by David Hess.] Lincoln Hall, 3pm “Ecritures du reel” [A lecture by Dominique Viart.] Foreign Languages Building 3pm “Up in Smoke: Biomass Burning, Land Cover Change and Atmospheric Emissions. A Comparative Study of the Guinean and Sudanian Savannas of Cote d’Ivoire” [Investigates human influences on global climate change with an emphasis on biomass burning.] Davenport Hall, 3pm “Cover Up: French Gender Equality and Islamic Headscarves” [When the French government passed a law banning Islamic headscarves in public schools, one of the justifications for it was that it would guarantee the equality of women. Professor Joan Wallach Scott’s talk will take a critical look at that justification.] Levis Faculty Center, 4pm “Dilemma of Faith In Building a Culture of Peace” [This presentation will discuss obstacles to inter-faith cooperation in peace work that are inherent in particular/specific religious beliefs, and present exemplars of peace work that have avoided these obstacles.] University YMCA, 12pm “Mexico and Global Connections” [A lecture by Angela Wiley.] Christopher Hall Studio, 12pm Film The News-Gazette Film Series: “Raising Arizona” (1987) [A comedy that follows an ex-con and an ex-cop who meet, marry and embark on a desperate search for a child.] Virginia Theatre 7pm, $5 “Over the Hedge” Leonhard Recreation Center, 7pm $2/$3 Sporting Events Illinois Women’s Gymnastics vs. Auburn Huff Gym, 7pm Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Miscellaneous 2007 Illinois State Geological Survey Open House [The 2007 ISGS Open House will feature exhibits, demonstrations and hands-on activities of interest to the general public, students and teachers of all levels, and those who may be interested in geologyrelated careers.] Natural Resources Building, 9am Engineering Open House [Annual, free and public

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showcasing of the projects of engineering students at the University of Illinois.] Engineering Campus, 9am Illinites [Enjoy Illini Union Board’s late-night programming with 25 cent Sbarro pizza, live entertainment and giveaways such as iPods and more.] Illini Union 9pm, free Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” [This is a musical light show.] Parkland College, 9:30pm, $5 Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings Grand Prairie Friends Winter Gathering [Bill Kleiman, site steward for The Nature Conservancy’s Nachusa Grasslands, will be presenting some of the work he has been involved in at this 2,500 acre preserve that is home to 600 native plant species and 180 species of birds.] Anita Purves Nature Center, 7pm Family Fun “Write On!” [Bring your pencils and imagination for an adventure in creative writing with librarian Elaine Bearde. For third graders and up.] Urbana Free Library, 4pm

SAT. MAR 10 Live Bands The Morning Call CD Release Show with special guests The Dakota and Ian Beert Canopy Club, 7pm, $5 in advance Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s, Headlights, Canada, Page France, Gentlemen Auction House Courtyard Cafe, 8pm $5 students/$7 public Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Fireflies, Ghost in Light, Hinter Iron Post, 9pm, $5 Shadowbox Chief’s Bar and Grill, 9:30pm, $5 Boomslang and Jonesful [An evening of all heavy original rock.] The Phoenix, 10pm Concerts Graduate Recital [Shawn McNamara will play the trombone.] Music Building 5pm Sinfonia da Camera with Ian Hobson and U of I Chamber Singers [Celebrating the beauty of the human voice, Sinfonia offers an evening of music for chorus and orchestra.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm, $33/$32/$12 Undergraduate Recital [Rhiannon Jerch will play the flute.] Smith Recital Hall 7:30pm DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm, $5 DJ Dance Party Canopy Club 10:30pm, cover Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm Festivals Illini Juggling and Unicycle Festival Armory Building, 8am

Lectures/Discussions Art in Conversation with Susan Marshall [Join Department of Dance head Jan Erkert for an informal conversation with choreographer Susan Marshall about her groundbreaking collaborative work.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 5pm, free Film The News-Gazette Film Series: “Raising Arizona” (1987) Virginia Theatre, 1pm, $5 Workshops “Shop’ Til You Drop: Pop Art and Beyond” [Teacher workshop for “Branded and on Display.”] Krannert Art Museum, 9am Recreation Nature ABCks and 123s “C is for Chipmunk” Allerton Park 9am Nature Nuts, “Birds in Flight” [Children ages six to eight who are wild about nature will enjoy this fun program that includes outdoor exploration and a theme-related craft and/or game.] Allerton Park, 1pm, $5 Miscellaneous Regional Science Fair [Local high schools and middle schools compete in subjects ranging from astronomy to zoology.] Parkland College, 9am Engineering Open House Engineering Campus, 9am Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings Illini Folk Dance Society Illini Union, 8pm Fundraisers Bellies For Life [Pangea Dance is having their second annual Cancer Research Benefit. Come join us for a night of dancing and fun.] Highdive, 5:30pm $10 in advance/$15 Family Fun Spanish Storytime [Families are invited to enjoy stories, songs and activites at this free program.] Urbana Free Library, 2pm

SUN. MAR 11 Live Bands Crystal River Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover New Sound Sundays with The New Loud, Undersound and Pinnacle [A WPGU presentation.] Canopy Club, 9pm $1 Terminus Victor, Team Rockit, Watery Domestic, Mad Science Fair Highdive, 9pm Concerts Parkland Chorus and Chamber Singers [The Chorus and Chamber Singers are directed by Barbara Zachow and are accompanied in rehearsal by Daniel King Crede.] First United Methodist Church, 3pm Jupiter String Quartet [Mozart, Britten, and Beethoven make up the program for this award-winning string

quartet dubbed “one of the strongest young string quartets in the country” by The New York Sun.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 3pm $34/$29/$20/$10/$5 Charlie King and the Prince Myshkins [An evening of brilliant musicianship and political satire.] ChanningMurray Foundation, 7pm DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm Dancing Dance Party Independent Media Center, 6:30pm Festivals Illini Juggling and Unicycle Festival Armory Building, 8am Sporting Events Illinois Men’s Tennis vs. Wisconsin Atkins Tennis Center 12pm Recreation Sunday Morning Bird Walks in Busey Woods [Join the Champaign County Audubon Society members on a trip.] Anita Purves Nature Center 7:30am Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Women Only Swim Kenney Gym, 5:30pm Tae Kwon Do [Learn martial arts. No previous experience is required.] Campus Recreation (CRCE), 9pm Miscellaneous 24th Annual International Dinner [The dinner will include a large buffet of food from over 30 different countries. There will also be international performers to entertain the audience with live music, dancing, and singing!] University YMCA, 6pm, $8 Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings University Falun Dafa Practice Group Illini Union, 4:10pm

MON. MAR 12 Live Bands Open Mic Night with hosts Mike Ingram and Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey 10pm, no cover Concerts “Russian Music from Tuva to the White Sea” [Four visiting folk musicians from Russia, hosted by the Russian, East European and Eurasian Center as part of the Open World Cultural Leadership Program, will perform traditional music from various parts of the country.] Music Building, 7:30pm DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm Lectures/Discussions Free English Speaking, Listening Class Parkland College 9am “Sensible Stimulation for the Developing Child’s Mind” [A lecture by Megan Faure.] Christopher Hall Studio 10:30am

“Latin American Art in MoMA’s Permanent Collection Galleries: Alfred H. Barr’s Installations 1943-1955” [Talk by Miriam Basilio, assistant professor of museum studies and faculty fellow at New York University.] Krannert Art Museum, 5:30pm “Surviving the Real World: Transitioning from Graduate School to the Work World” [Becky Poon of Shell International Exploration and Production will share what she learned through her own transition from a PhD graduate to a new hire in a major corporation, what students should do before they start working, the skills essential to bring to work from day one, and practical advice on what they should be doing through the first year.] Noyes Lab, 6pm

Workshops “Spring Break at Home? Give me a break!” [An interactive workshop focusing on dealing with family and friends at home over spring break.] Illini Union, 7pm

The Faint

March 13, 9 p.m. Canopy Club, $15 in advance

Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Miscellaneous Lourdes and the Other Shrines of France [A travelogue on a trip to France to see the major architectural sites.] Parkland College, 1:30pm $5 Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings Illini Folk Dance Society Illini Union, 8pm Family Fun Babies’ Lap Time [This program of songs, stories and rhymes is for our youngest patrons, ages birth to 24 months.] Urbana Free Library, 9:45am “Write On!” Urbana Free Library, 4pm

Workshops “Getting What You Came For: Thriving in Grad School” [This workshop will discuss the landscape of graduate education, identify its new and distinctive challenges and provide tangible advice on how to successfully negotiate the graduate school experience.] Illini Union 1pm Resume Critique La Casa Cultural Latina, 3pm, free

Social Issues Planned Parenthood Happy Hour [Come to our first-ever event for young professionals. With free appetizers and raffle prizes, it is an opportunity for young supporters to meet others, learn about PPECI services and activities, and enjoy themselves in the process.] Boltini Lounge, 5pm

Recreation Robert Allerton Park Allerton Park, 9am Miscellaneous The Non-Profit & Government Career Fair 2007 [Offers a wonderful opportunity for all students, regardless of major or year in school, to meet with representatives from various non-profit and governmental agencies.] Illini Union, 11am Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm US Department of State [The State Department is looking for candidates with broad, general academic backgrounds for careers as Foreign Service Officers, Foreign Service Specialists, civil servants and for student affairs.] Gregory Hall, 5pm Meetings Italian Table [Italian conversation.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 12pm

WED. MAR 14 This week’s drug of choice? The Faint. Their rendition of late ’80s/early ’90s music interwoven in every beat of their rock inspired electronic sound is trippy and stimulating. The band has been together since the mid-’90s and has gone through a few transformations and progressions to become the five-piece band they are today. With many albums to impress you, it is hard to pick one as a favorite. I personally enjoy the album “Danse Macabre” because of the way it seems to define the band and set them apart from the rest of the dance-heavy genre. Their latest album, “Wet From Birth,” which Mike Mogis of Bright Eyes helped produce, seems to be a transition into a new sound that only promises bright new things for the future. If you choose to come to the Canopy on Tuesday, consider yourself in a wonderland of dance mania. The band’s evident ability to drive an upbeat dance rhythm into every movement of your body is uncanny, and the backbeat of the band’s music seems to be ingrained into the very rhythm of your heart. The quicker they go, the quicker you go — it’s thrilling. Go crazy in this energetic whirlwind of synth-based songs and dance your heart out. The Faint is not to be dismissed. —Caitlin Cremer

TUE. MAR 13 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am Fred Eaglesmith Highdive 8pm, $15 Crystal River Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover The Faint Canopy Club, 9pm $15 in advance Jason Finleman’s NU-Orbit Ensemble Canopy Club, 11pm no cover Concerts Voice Division Recital Smith Recital Hall, 11am, free University New Music Ensemble [Eduardo Diazmunoz, artistic director and Desiree Hassler, soprano, will be featured.] Krannert Center

7:30pm DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club SilverBullet Bar, 8pm SubVersion Featuring DJ Vermis and DJ Evily Highdive 10pm, $2 cover Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s 9pm Karaoke with Randy Miller Bentley’s Pub, 9:30pm Lectures/Discussions Free English Speaking, Listen-

sounds from the scene

ing Class Parkland College 9am “Power Within Regions: Moving Toward a Conceptualization and Measurement of Regional Power Structures” [A lecture by Derrick Frasier.] Armory Building 3:30pm “Experiences with Countering Internet Attacks” [Vern Paxson of the International Computer Science Institute will discuss the internet, its ever increasing importance in our lives and how we can protect

it.] Coordinated Science Laboratory, 4pm “Integrative Role for the Brainstem in the Control of Food Intake” [A lecture by Gary Schwartz of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine.] Beckman Institute, 4pm “Rethinking Linguistic Power and Solidarity: Covert Language Attitudes in Morocco” [Brahim Chakrani, Linguistics, will be speaking.] Foreign Languages Building, 12pm

“Contested Sovereignties: The Russian Empire and Indigenous Siberian Political Culture in the 17th Century” [A lexture by Alexandra Haugh of the Northwestern University.] International Studies Building 12pm Film “Beyond Beats and Rhymes” [Filmaker Bryon Hurt joins students from the Youth Media Workshop, local artists and scholars for a screening of his film and a town hall discussion.] Spurlock Museum, 7pm

“The Crime of Survival: Fraud Prosecutions, Community Surveillance and the Original Welfare Queen” [A lecture by Julilly Kohler-Hausmann.] Gender and Women’s Studies Building, 12pm “Research Integrity” [A lecture by Melanie J. Loots.] Mumford Hall, 4pm “Technology That Drives New Sciences: Automated 2D IR Spectroscopy and Applications to Membrane Peptides” [A lecture by Martin Zanni of the University of Wisconsin.] Chemistry Annex, 4pm “Contemporary Music in Indonesia: Between Local Traditions, National Obligations and International Influences.” [A lecture by Dieter Mack.] Music Building, 4:30pm Workshops The Nonacademic Job Search [This workshop for grad students will discuss job search strategies for those entering non-academic (corporate, non-for-profit, etc.) fields.] Illini Union, 3pm Recreation Nature ABCs and 123s “C is for Chipmunk” Allerton Park 9am Hula Skate [A tropical paradise just in time to hula those winter blues away.] Ice Arena, 7:30pm

—Bonnie Stiernberg

Concerts National Philharmonic of Russia [Take the best musicians from Moscow and St. Petersburg, add the direction of a world-famous violinist and conductor, and you have dynamic music into the new millennium. For their first visit to Krannert, the ensemble presents music of Shostakovich and Rachmaninoff.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm $50/$45/$31/$15/$10

Family Fun “Around the World Wednesdays” [Create, play and learn together through crafts and activities from around the world.] Spurlock Museum 9:30am, $2 donaton requested “Toddler Time: A Moose is Loose!” [Children ages two through four years old with an adult, are invited to join us for songs, stories and a craft all about the misunderstood moose.] Urbana Free Library, 10:30am “Prairie Breezes Mini Concerts for Kids” [Join area youth string players as they share music from Bach to Rock.] Urbana Free Library, 6:30pm

Lectures/Discussions Free English Speaking, Listening Class Parkland College 9am “Perspectives From Agricultural and Consumer Economics” [A lecture by Alex Winter-Nelson.] International Studies Building, 12pm

Volunteer Sculpture Conservation Workday [Allerton Park contains more than 100 pieces of outdoor sculptures and garden ornaments from around the world. Volunteers assist with the periodic maintenance and cleaning of these pieces.] Allerton Park, 9am

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Pack rats, rejoice! Finally, there’s an exhibit that pays tribute to the dedicated if not slightly compulsive art form of collection. Whether you collect bottle caps or rocks, coins or stamps, you won’t want to miss “Collected.”

The exhibit is open from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Thursday and Friday and 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Take a break from reorganizing your CD collection or labeling your newest rare coin and head on over to OPENSOURCE to check out the work of fellow collectors.

Miscellaneous 13th Annual International Cultures Fair [Enjoy global cuisine, activities and music.] Parkland College 10am Altgeld Chime-Tower Tours Altgeld Hall, 12:30pm Meetings Illinites Meetings [Looking for leadership opportunities and experience, or just like to program? Look no further than the Illinites committee.] Illini Union, 6pm

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovantis, 10pm

OPENSOURCE Art through March 31

“Collected” examines the cultural significance of collecting, as well as the history behind the objects on display. It features the work of Jeremy Beaudry, Peter Bushnell, Anna Callahan, Brian Collier, Alex Demaris, Stephanie Diamond, Amber Ginsburg and many more.

Live Bands Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm Feudin’ Hillbilly’s Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Umphrey’s McGee, Adrian Belew Canopy Club, 9pm $20

DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm DJ Stifler Highdive, 8pm $3/$5

Collected

A Woman’s Fund Cleaning and Maintenance Help make a difference in the fight against domestic violence by lending a hand at A Woman’s Fund. Help clean the facility and organize a steady supply of donations that are shared by victims residing at the shelter. If you are handy and are willing to assist in maintenance projects, A Woman’s Fund could really use your help. A background check and interview is required for this position. Hours are flexible. If you are interested, contact Heather Fox at foxh@awomansfund. org or 384-4390.

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Art & Theater Cirque Dreams Jungle Fantasy [An all-new adventure that takes audiences soaring into a magical forest through the air and on stage. An international cast of graceful aerialists, spine-bending contortionists, vine-swinging characters, strong men and balancers bring this jungle dream to life in a lush, Broadway setting filled with wildly unpredictable designs, special effects, inventive choreography, puppeteering and dazzling costumes.] Assembly Hall Star Theatre, March 8 at 7:30 p.m. Three Sisters [This play by Anton Chekhov tells the story of three sisters (Irina, Olga and Masha) longing to move back to Moscow on the one-year anniversary of their father, Colonel Prozorov’s, death.] The Station Theatre, March 8 through 10 at 8 p.m.

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A Chorus Line [This timeless musical hit focuses on the lives of Broadway dancers. The performance is directed by Henson Keys and features the choreography of Angela Fieddermann Miller.] Krannert Center Colwell Playhouse, March 8 through 10 at 7:30 p.m., March 11 at 3 p.m. The Illinois Hillbillies [An interactive murder mystery performed by the Champaign-Urbana Theatre Company.] Round Barn Banquet Centre, March 11 at 6 p.m.

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Lunch hours: Mon-Fri 11:30- 2:00

KAMAKURA

Susan Marshall and Company [In her quest to communicate through the language of dance, MacArthur “genius” award-winner Susan Marshall fuses ballet, modern and post-modern styles to create a vocabulary all her own, imbuing everyday actions with potency and poignance.] Krannert Center Tryon Festival Theatre, March 10 at 7:30 p.m.

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Inner Voices Social Issues Theatre [Inner Voices addresses contemporary social and health issues pertinent to the college experience through performances followed by facilitated discussions. Audience members are encouraged to consider how subtle and not so subtle actions and behaviors in everyday situations affect thoughts and feelings.] Latzer Hall in the University YMCA, March 13 at 12 p.m. Journeys [Umeeta Sadaranganiwill’s exhibit features a collection of watercolors, mixed media paintings and photographs.] Asian American Cultural Center through March 16 State of the Art 2007 [Renowned watercolor artists from across the country will display their unique creations.] Parkland Art Gallery through March 28 Collected [Features art of various media from around the world that examines the creation and production of history and culture through the process of collecting.] OPENSOURCE Art, March 8 through March 31

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Paintings by Lucy Synk [The work of local painter Lucy Synk is featured in this show, which includes recent original pieces alongside framed prints of her past work.] Pages For All Ages through March 31 Branded and On Display [Features the work of artists exploring the theme of branding and the significance of marketing in our culture. Representing a range of media — sculpture, video, installation, sound, painting and photography, the works are compelling and provocative, nudging us to “re-view” our culture with an appraising eye.] Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion through April 1 Visual Dialogue [A show of recent paintings by St. Louis artists Grace Lin, James Wu and Yingxue Zuo.] Cinema Gallery through April 7

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Watercolors from D17 [Group exhibition of watercolors by Ann Rund, Gayle Tilford, Barb Johanek, Melissa Lynch, Martha Seif, Cindy Carlson, Barbara Ryan and Ann McDowell.] Heartland Gallery through April 7 Symagery [An exhibition by Melissa Pokorny, Assistant Professor, School of Art and Design. Using a variety of materials, Pokorny’s work investigates the collision of public and private space, architecture and the built environment, mediated nature and the real and imagined contingencies suggested by these forced conversations.] Humanities Hall Lecture, IPRH, March 14 through May 11 Commerce and Consumption: Works from the Permanent Collection [Photographic works from the museum’s permanent collection that are defined by marketing and advertising actions have been selected for this exhibition, an accompaniment to “Branded and On Display”.] Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavillion through May 13 A History of New [Explores what happens when a new technology is co-opted and subverted into a tool, supporting system or display medium for artists. University students and museum visitors are invited to help build a graphically rich timeline of technological and scientific innovations and the resulting reactions and responses to these innovations that will be displayed on the wall of the CANVAS Gallery and within the CANVAS itself.] Krannert Art Museum through July 29

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WELL THAT WOULD BE GREAT FUN OF IRONIC KIND.

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BEYOND BEATS AND RHYMES SAMANTHA LEE • STAFF WRITER

The Yout h Med ia Work shop i s a pr o g r a m g e a r e d t ow a r d s wor k i n g with African-American youths on the University of Illinois campus. The group creates television and radio programs that air on the WILL television and radio stations. Once completed, the transcripts of these television and radio programs are all donated to the library and available to students on campus. Currently, the Youth Media Workshop is focused on hip-hop culture and the consequences of negative stereotypes por t rayed by some popu la r rap Byron Hurt, a life-long fan of artists. After watching Byron Hurt’s hip-hop, was like the major it y documentary, Brian Mitchell, a junior of popu l a r h ip -hop f a n s . He from Urbana High School who has been l istened to the music but gave with the Youth Media Workshop for l it t le thoug ht to the act ua l three years, said, “I gained a different message being portrayed by the perspective on rap music and better r ap a r t i st s. It wa sn’t u nt i l he understanding of the stereotypes in the got his f irst job out of col lege music.” Mitchell believes it’s important that he truly began to question to show this f ilm, especially on a college t he content of h ip -hop. Hu r t campus, because it can help eliminate wa s a mentor to Nor thea ster n some of the stereot ypes portrayed in Universit y students, educating rap music. Brian Mitchell will be part them about men’s violence against of the panel and available to talk to women. That’s when he started after the screen ing of the mov ie on to pay attention to the violent, Tuesday night. sexist and “homophobic” nature Out reach coord inator and coof hip-hop culture. Hurt began director of the Youth Media Workshop to wonder why more people did Kimberlie Kranich said, “It’s important not speak out against the negative to show this f ilm because students at stereot ypes against women and the Youth Media Workshop are actively young A fr ican-A mer ican men. part of hip-hop culture, and the f ilm He took it upon himself to create encourages them to lea r n the ea rly a documentar y f i l m about the roots of the music and culture.” The gender politics and atmosphere f ilm touches on several controversial that has created hip-hop as we i s sue s concer n i n g h ip -hop c u lt u re know it today. Still a fan of hipand opens the f loor to much debate. hop, Hurt calls this documentary “The documentary will give people a better Kranich also said, “The documentary f ilm a “loving critique” of hipunderstanding of hip-hop music, and that certain will give people a better understanding hop culture. social behaviors portrayed in hip-hop music aren’t of h ip -hop music, a nd that cer t a i n The f i lm, HIP-HOP: Beyond acceptable.” — Kimberlie Kranich social behaviors portrayed in hip-hop B e a t s a n d R hy m e s, q ue s t io n s music a ren’t accept able. Hopef u l ly, t he r e pr e s e nt a t ion of hy pe r t h i s f i l m w i l l e ncou r a g e p o s it i ve mascu l in it y, object if icat ion of Byron Hunt, a filmmaker who decided to take in-depth look into hip-hop culture, will view and discuss his latest film, HIP-HOP: social behavior.” The Youth Media women and homophobia in popular Beyond Beats and Rhymes, at the Spurlock Museum on Tuesday night. PHOTO COURTESY OF SHAWN ESCOFFERY/ITVS Workshop will be working on a followhip-hop music. Hurt interviews a up project scheduled for May. They On Tuesday, Ma rch 13, W ILL’s Youth Med ia will be f ilming both the audience reaction to the f ilm number of rap artists like Fat Joe, Common and Busta Rhymes and asks them pressing questions about the hip- Work shop w i l l be host i ng a screen i ng of Hu r t’s and the town hall discussion. hop industry. Hurt also interviews Spelman College HIP-HOP: Beyond Beats and Rhymes, at a town hall students and professors, hip-hop and cultural scholars and meeting in the Knight Auditorium of the Spurlock For more information about the screening of HIP-HOP: a number of hip-hop fans. The film presents a variety of Museum at 7:00 p.m. The screening will be followed Beyond Beat and Rhymes, the Youth Media Workshop or perspectives about hip-hop from the artists to the fans to by a public town hall discussion with a small panel how you can help support them, visit www.will.uiuc.edu. the critics. Hurt also examines images in hip-hop music of speakers including Byron Hurt. The event will be free and open to the public. videos and how they objectify women. Shirtless, buff and shiny with body oil, our favorite rappers are often surrounded by voluptuous women wearing little more than thongs and bikini tops. They are usually on some tropical island, driving hot red Ferraris and wearing diamondencrusted chains. Money, sex, drugs and guns make up the bulk of the content in most popular hip-hop music. Many of us listen to these lyrics and watch the music videos thinking little of the stereotypes being portrayed. Sometimes we even find ourselves singing along to the catchy beats.

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LALA THE GROCERY DELIVERING PENGUIN CAN NOT READ.

ZODIAC

BLACK SNAKE MOAN CLIFFORD WHITE • STAFF WRITER

SCOTT FRANKEL • STAFF WRITER

THE ABANDONED ERIN GILLMAN • STAFF WRITER

Christina Ricci plays Rae, a woman who will do anything for love, in Black Snake Moan.

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.ROTTENTOMATOES.COM

Exploitation and absurdity are words that get bantered around frequently when a conversation about Black Snake Moan begins. Those are understandable critiques, but there is far more to this movie than Christina Ricci in a barely there midriff cut-off and panties. Yes, Ricci shimmies and writhes on the screen as the nymphomaniac Rae in the most blatantly, hyper-sexualized performance of recent film history, but her tortured, fragile little form truly aches for real love. However, meaningless sex is the closest thing to it that she can get. The plot thickens when Rae’s beaten and raped body is found by Lazarus (Samuel L. Jackson) on the side of the road. Though sex is not Lazarus’s weakness, he is also heartbroken and bitter after his wife leaves him for his own brother. From there, an odd relationship forms and forces these two emotionally crippled people to try to heal together. Jackson delivers an entrancing performance as a Bible-quoting blues musician and farmer. In one scene, his decision to chain Rae to a radiator to “cure” her could have been frightening, but amazingly, they were able to turn it into a scene of comic relief. Although Black Snake Moan could have easily descended into tired clichés, writer and director Craig Brewer balances the dark subject matter with refreshingly bleak humor. When Lazarus drags Rae into his house after attempting to escape it’s uncomfortably funny, and moments like this pepper the film. The stereotype of sexually aggressive AfricanAmerican men is somewhat turned on its head because Rae is the one who is a voracious sexual aggressor toward any man she finds attractive, and especially toward Lazarus. The film also thankfully circumvents the motif of the wise black person who teaches a white person a variety of life lessons by letting the characters actually teach each other rather than one sit in a position of all knowing goodness waiting for the other to catch up. Black Snake Moan is a movie with a good message, yet it doesn’t try to force the message into your head until the point where it’s nauseating. However, be forewarned that it may be too provocative a road to take for some viewers. sounds from the scene

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I’m the girl in the movie theater peering wide-eyed at the horror f lick through a slit between her f ingers. Needless to say, I don’t do well with anything scary. However, when I went to see T he Abandoned, I was more horrif ied of spending nine dollars to see the movie than anything else. The basic plot begins when Marie, a f ilm producer adopted at bir th, ret ur ns to her homeland of Russia to f ind the whereabouts of her estranged parents. She visits a suspicious office only to be told her mother was murdered the day after her birth, they know nothing about her father and she has no known siblings — talk about a downer. She’s days away from her 42nd birthday, and the shady man behind the desk tells her she has inherited her late mother’s estate. She hitches a ride to a lone cabin in the middle of

WILD HOGS TOM LANGE • STAFF WRITER

Even these officers are overwhelmed by Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence and John Travolta’s outrageous performances in Wild Hogs.

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.ROTTENTOMATOES.COM.

Karel Roden and Anastasia Hille don’t have much time to figure out the details of their family tree in The Abandoned. PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.MOVIES.YAHOO.COM.

the wilderness of Russia where she encounters a few un f r iend ly fa r mer s wa r n i ng her of imminent death if she enters the estate. It was downhill from there. Upon arriving at the house, she encounters a dead version of herself without eyes — creepy. At this point I would’ve run screaming bloody murder as far as I could from the house, but she decides to l inger around for a wh i le. What fun would a scary movie be if the main characters had common sense? Marie f inds someone else in the house — an unknown twin brother, Nikolai, who has also seen his dead self without eyes. This cat and mouse game of dead-self-chasing-alive-self goes on for entirely too long. Somewhere along the way Nikolai realizes (no one k nows how) that at m id n ig ht of their birthday chaos will ensue, and they’ll be f ighting to stay alive. The icing on the cake was when someone got eaten by a wild boar. Really, that was the icing. One positive attribute of the movie was the work on set design. One and a half stars for effort and a small twist at the end, but charging nine dollars to see this should be a crime.

Wild Hogs is a movie that should have been made 10 years ago. In the m id ’90 s John Travolta was at the height of his career, Tim Allen was the star of a popular sitcom, Martin Lawrence was making a seemingly promising transition from TV to f ilm and William H. Macy hadn’t sold out yet. A f ilm starring these four actors back then might have made for something decent, but Wild Hogs is nothing more than an uninspired effort that proves the glory days of these actors are behind them. The f ilm follows four friends (Travolta, A l len, L aw rence a nd M ac y) who a l l conveniently experience mid-life crises at the same time and decide to take a cross country motorcycle trip to prove to the world how manly they all are. Along the way there is the series of obligatory pee break jokes and other middle-aged clichés. The crew eventually hits trouble after accidentally blowing up the bar of another, meaner biker gang who then chases the group out west to settle the score. At its heart, Wild Hogs is a movie built on the notion that people repeatedly running into random objects (signs, birds, surf boards) on the road is funny; the trouble is it’s not. In addition to a mundane script, most of the cast seems to have just phoned in their work. Allen in particular doesn’t seem to know what he’s even doing in the f ilm, which may also explain why he’s hardly seen in any of the film’s ads. Macy is the only one who seems to try to contribute, but without any real material to work with and no support from those around him, his efforts don’t amount to much.

In the 1960s and 1970s, the infamous Zodiac killer primarily murdered “lover’s lane” couples who spent their days flirting in San Francisco’s overlooks and parks. David Fincher’s Zodiac is the result of a steamy hook-up between JFK and All the President’s Men in the backseat of a 1969 Chevy. Like its parent films, it effectively accomplishes its goal; it breaks open a conspiracy theory and provides effective evidence through interviews and code-cracking. However, when audiences start to view Zodiac as a “who done it”/Scream-type thriller, they’re going to wish some sort of contraception was used. The movie is about a book written by Robert Graysmith, that tells the ‘truthful’ story of a killerat-large in San Francisco Bay. Robert Graysmith ( Jake Gyllenhaal) works as a humble cartoonist for the San Francisco Chronicle. As an avid puzzler, he begins to work with crime reporter Paul Avery (Robert Downey Jr.) to help decipher codes and letters the Zodiac sent for the Chronicle to publish. As the Zodiac killer gains media attention and popularity, people become motivated to discover his true identity. Inspector David Toschi (Mark Ruffalo) becomes extremely motivated by his curiosity and begins to work even harder to find the killer. Toschi has almost all the evidence he needs to officially identify the killer, but there’s still a missing link that’s restricting him. Graysmith becomes obsessed with finding this link to ultimately capture this notorious American killer. Because Zodiac is basically 160 minutes of talking, David Fincher couldn’t show audiences the thrilling directorial talents he has shown us in other movies. Besides one creative montage where newspaper clips about the Zodiac were superimposed on walls and suspended in mid-air, the film could have been made by another director, and not much would have changed. This isn’t necessarily bad, however, because this allowed audiences not to be distracted by visuals and to effectively focus on Zodiac’s strong script. However, it still would have been nice to have a little more Fight Club or Seven. Inspector Mark Ruffalo turns San Francisco upside down looking for an infamous serial killer in Zodiac.

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BREASTWITCH MOUNTAIN.

CHORUS LINE

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SYD SLOBODNIK •STAFF WRITER

COURTESY OF THE KRANNERT CENTER FOR PERFORMING ARTS. PHOTO BY ERIC STONE

Three decades after its original production, it may be hard for contemporary audiences to realize how remarkably spectacular A Chorus Line was to audiences of the mid-1970s. With its innovative narrative, frank dialogue and sparkling song lyrics that describe the dreams and aspirations of “gypsy” Broadway dancers, A Chorus Line has become the Hamlet of modern theatrical musicals. Tackling such a production is certainly a tremendous challenge for a university theater group. Having seen Michael Bennett’s original Tony Award-winning production in early 1976 at New York’s Shubert Theatre, almost no other subsequent productions match the magic of this musical’s sheer energy. This includes the mediocre 1985 film version by Sir Richard Attenborough which starred Michael Douglas. That said, the University’s Theatre Department has met this challenge in their present production of A Chorus Line with mixed, but mostly effective, results. With its cast of 20-some students and several professional performers, University director Henson Keys retells James K irkwood and Nicholas Dante’s surprisingly simple story of this Broadway dance audition probing the personalities of 17 aspiring dancers who vie for eight chorus dance openings in a big, soon-to-be produced show. Zach, the fictional show’s director drills the dancers for their physical abilities and in establishing his production excellence, seeks what really motivates these dancers’ dreams. In most of the show’s 14 songs the singers are in top form. Caroline Holmes, who plays Maggie, Anna Schutz’s Val and Jon Hill’s Richie are standouts. Their renditions of the Marvin Hamlisch/Edward Kleban songs “At the Ballet,” “And” and “Dance: Ten, Looks: Three” are nearly comparable to Broadway versions.

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In other key numbers though the energy level in the production seems to waver a bit, some of which could be due to opening night nerves. This show requires full-out, level-10 energy in numbers like “Hello Twelve,” “One” and “Music and the Mirror,” and this production reaches a respectable level 7. Some songs like “Dance: Ten, Looks: Three,” which were so shocking by ’70s standards to the matinee crowds, with lyrics about a f latchested dancer attaining new “tits and ass,” now seem tame. And Diana’s song “Nothing,” about a Puerto Rican girl’s frustrations in an acting class just isn’t ethnic enough in Eleni Pappageorge’s interpretation. Keys somewhat wisely updates the production to the present day and changes many of the time bound references, such as ’50s and ’60s idols Troy Donahue, Robert Goulet and Faye Dunaway, but strangely keeps such references as the importance of learning musical skills from The Carol Burnett Show, a standard Saturday night television variety show in the ’70s and a male dancer retelling his experiences of being molested by old guys in sleazy 42nd Street movie theaters, which former mayor Rudy Giuliani got rid of decades ago. Present dancers in their 20s weren’t even born in the 1970s to experience these. Angela Fleddermann Miller’s choreography is generally sharp and energetic. Wisely, several dance majors were selected for key roles. The production also recreates Michael Bennett’s original choreography for the showstopping number “One.” This ambitious and respectable production of the Broadway classic A Chorus Line continues until March 11 at Krannert’s Colwell Playhouse. For ticket information, contact the Krannert ticket office at 333-6280 or online at www.kcpa.uiuc.edu.

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ARTIST’S

CORNER:

RYAN GROFF

Ryan Groff was born in Charleston, Ill., and started singing and learning the guitar from a hippie friend who taught him about Pink Floyd and The Doors in high school. In college, he started writing songs, joined his first real band and made his first CD. Then came a music composition/performance degree and finally his band, elsinore, Ryan is independently releasing a solo album, People in the Midwest, in April at Cowboy Monkey, which he recorded with Jeff Janczewski.

PHOTO BY AMELIA MOORE

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LET’S SLAM.

23

MATTHEW HOFFMAN • STAFF WRITER

Tel l me how you got i nto music growing up. It really wasn’t until I was in high school that I went into my brain and found this little shoebox wrapped tight with rubberbands that said “Your Music.â€? My songwriting started to come naturally and I started listening to great music — well, mostly The Beatles ‌ a lot of Beatles. I knew that I needed to take a few important steps: one,

play in front of as many people as I could. Two, learn how to develop my voice so people would want to listen to me when I opened my mouth. Three, pay attention to the way the music business worked and four, ask as many questions of many people who knew about the business. You will soon release a solo album. Talk about the collaborative process of elsinore. I wanted this album to be just me and Jeff. He’s been elsinore’s sound engineer for about two years. He’s an amazing engineer, producer, musician and person. Elsinore has been a means for me to make this record. I told Jeff I had a stack of songs that needed to be heard and he said he was finally ready to take on projects in his home studio. Just before Christmas we started tracking an eight-song EP called People in the Midwest. I’m talking about my family, my love flubs and the people I flubbed on/with and I guess, in a way, the people I want to see again. What inspires you? I’m heavily influenced by an ever-rotating list of musicians: Ben Folds, Andrew Bird, John Lennon/ The Beatles, Elliott Smith, The Decemberists, Radiohead, Ray LaMontagne, Ryan Adams — these are people who are making the music that I want to be making. I’ve let their music set this bar that I have to reach or nothing at all will make it out of my living room. What is it like trying to make it as a musician in CU? Have you made close friends (or perhaps enemies) in this profession? Being in Champaign-Urbana for the last year and a half, and the four years before has been nothing but confirmation for me. I like where my songwriting is right now, and to have people who hear them tell me they can’t get [a song] out of their head and when will it be on a CD? And what’s the first line of the second verse? It’s the part of being an artist that really keeps you moving. And have I made enemies? I’m pretty sure John Hoeffleur from The Beauty Shop hates me, but I don’t have hard evidence. But, on the other side of the coin, The Headlights are delicious and I want to hook our van to the back of theirs and explore the world together. How has your songwriting matured over time? I feel like my voice as a songwriter has matured in perfect correlation with my own maturation as a person. As I’ve figured out how I fit in this world — spiritually, emotionally, artistically — I’ve found myself commenting with a more acute focus and with a point of view that feels more original than most pop/folk musicians. W here can people f ind you/your music? I’m at Aroma CafÊ 30 hours a week working to pay my bills and spread my music in as many directions as I can. My, and elsinore’s, musical

following has probably doubled in the last year because of Aroma CafÊ. Besides Aroma, our music can be found in CD form at Exile on Main St. and Parasol Records and we all thank them for that. And of course, there are the live shows: Cowboy Monkey (home), The Iron Post, Mike ’n Molly’s, The Canopy Club. These clubs push our music, our creativity and our crowds to grow larger and larger. Also, www.openingbands.com and MySpace have been inexplicably helpful with getting the word out. Oh, and Mike Ingram ‌ of course! Is there a musician you would love to perform with? I’ll say it like this: we want to make circles that exponentially lead further and further from the Midwest, hitting every college and music-loving town from here to Calcutta, opening at first for the Shins, Ben Folds and Andrew Bird, then filling those rock rooms and auditoriums by ourselves. Final interview questions are always lame. Mine is no different. Give me three words that do not describe you. Recluse ‌ haberdasher ‌ sonofabitch.

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WE HAD WHAT LAST TIME.

LMAS CONTINUED FROM PG 15

THE BEAUTY SHOP ERIN GILLMAN • STAFF WRITER

The Beauty Shop is a folk band with a twist from our humble town of Champaign. The combination of John Hoeffleur on guitar and vocals, Ariane Peralta on bass and Ben Ucherek on drums is a perfect one; a ripe combination of indie and folk. They’re inspired by the world around them rather than other musicians — a fresh philosophy for music-making. Hoeffleur’s voice is heavy with a twinge of a Southern accent, their lyrics are emotional and the overall feel of their music is pleasant. Their style reminds me of a lazy summer (which, ironically, is a title of one their songs) and could pass for a soundtrack to a hot night in July. Overall, The Beauty Shop has created some very feel-good music. Their MySpace account can be found at myspace. com/thebeautyshop, and I recommend the song “Monster”. They’re also playing at the Canopy Club on March 9 for fans of their live shows.

CD REVIEW:

THE BEAUTY SHOP ERIN GILLMAN • STAFF WRITER

Crisis Helpline, the second full-length album from The Beauty Shop, is perfect listening for these winter days. The acoustic guitar seems to perfectly match the snow falling, and John Hoeffleur’s voice is strangely relaxing. They start the album off with a dial tone in “Paper Hearts for Josie,” which reflects the album title. “Monster” is the second song on the album and my personal favorite. This song demonstrates the true talent of the band, both in the music and lyrics. The guitar riffs and vocals compliment each other well, because neither is too overpowering. “Nightcrawlers” and “Babyshaker” follow the song “Monster,” and pick up the tempo and the mood with some pop melodies and guitar solos. The album is very well put together, and the band members’ talent fuses to make unique countryindie music. The Beauty Shop’s music has a quiet force that reveals itself in a different way for each of the 12 tracks on Crisis Helpline. If you’re looking for an album for a snowy day, this is the one for you.

THE PRAIRIE DOGS KATE KROGER • STAFF WRITER

The Prairie Dogs, nominated for Best Folk/ Americana in this year’s Local Music Awards, provide the CU public with a classic, bluegrass sound. They have played on campus for welcoming celebrations and picnics at the Krannert Center and the Illini Student Union. They also frequently perform outside of campus at venues such as Iron Post, Strawberry Fields and Cowboy Monkey. To catch one of their shows, head out to Cowboy Monkey Friday, March 16 from 5:30 to 7:30pm, or Huber’s Tavern Saturday, March 17 from 8 to 11pm (no cover) and enjoy.

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BEST JAZZ/BLUES JASON FINKLEMAN’S NU ORBIT ENSEMBLE SCOTT DWYER • STAFF WRITER

Jason Finkelman’s Nu Orbit Ensemble is Tom Paynter (keyboard, flute), Chad Dunn (drums, percussion), Jay Eychaner (synthesizer) and of course Jason Finkelman (berimbau, percussion). They are an improv-jazz group with a flair for world styles. Unfortunately they don’t have a Web site where you can check them out yet, but if you manage to find their demo, check out “Adjika” for its funky percussion. Don’t miss them at the Canopy Club on Tuesday, March 13th as they put on a groovy live show.

DESAFINADO STEVE PLOCK • STAFF WRITER

Combining elements of Samba and Bossa Nova, the seven members of Champaign-Urbana’s Desafinado create a smooth blend of melody and rhythm that is rooted in traditional Brazilian jazz. Consisting of Simone da Silva (vocals), Chad Dunn (percussion), Greg Jahiel (guitar and vocals), Connie Johnson (vibraphone), Tim Johnson (guitar and vocals), Tom Paynter (flute and melodica) and Giraldo Rosales (congas), Desafinado’s unique approach to jazz has the ability to transport the listener to a place of relaxation and carelessness. With this being the band’s second nomination for Best Jazz Artist, Desafinado have proven themselves worthy of the title by having played at venues all across Illinois and having recorded two successful albums within the past two years. For more information on Desafinado, check out their Web site, desafinado-music.com, or check them out in a live setting on March 16 at the Iron Post in Urbana.

CD REVIEW: DESAFINADO STEVE PLOCK • STAFF WRITER

Portuguese for familiarity, Cohecimiento, the newest album from CU natives Desaf inado, provides itself fully to the translation of its title. Grounded in Brazilian Samba and Bossa Nova, Desafinado’s music does indeed have a sense of familiarity and comfort. Containing guitar, flute, vibraphone, percussion, melodica and vocals, the music on Cohecimiento is so light and relaxing it’s as if the music was carried to your ear on a cool, ocean breeze. The songs on the album contain both original compositions by the band along with classic pieces composed by some of Brazil’s most premiere composers. With the combination of tradition and innovation, Cohicimiento provides enjoyment to both fans of the Brazilian style and those who appreciate jazz in all its forms. When you are packing for your spring break vacation this year, be sure to pack this album to enhance your vacation to levels of relaxation you never thought possible.

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FUCKIN WEBSITES.

CD REVIEW:

JASON FINKLEMAN’S NU-ORBIT ENSEMBLE SCOTT DWYER • STAFF WRITER

Jason Finkleman’s Nu Orbit Ensemble sounds like the background music they play during Adult Swim commercials. While you let that sink in, let me say it is by no means a negative assessment. It contains varied jazz and world motifs and one’s enjoyment will likely depend on his or her opinions on free jazz and experimental music. The songs are given structure by Finkelman (berimbau, perussion) and Chad Dunn (drums, percussion) over which the other members are essentially given free reign. Absent are traditional solos and even what one generally classifies as melody. This is not to say that melody and musical themes are completely lacking, but a cursory listen won’t provide memories of distinct hooks as much as a central “idea.” As with many jazz acts, a live performance would likely yield more information on the musical relationship the members have with each other and the flavors that classify each member. Give it an open-minded listen. Not a must-hear, but a decent listen.

JAZZ SANDWICH

KILBORN ALLEY

THE IMPALAS

SCOTT DWYER • STAFF WRITER

ALYSSA VALE • STAFF WRITER

JOSH FISHER • STAFF WRITER

I will be the first to admit that I know very little about any type of blues music. I do, however, like to think that feel-good music is something we can all recognize, and Kilborn Alley is capable of conveying just that sensation. Their music is captivating, and it actually leaves you transfixed as you tap your toes to the upbeat rhythms and the catchy tunes. Kilborn Alley is composed of five members: Andrew Duncanson, Joe Asselin, Josh Stimmel, Chris Breen and Ed O’Hara. Together they form what seems like a small orchestra of three guitars, a harp, electric bass, drums and vocals. If this sounds interesting enough and you would like to educate yourself, check them out at myspace.com/kilbornalley. Three songs are featured, none of which are downloadable, but do yourself a favor and listen to “Too Tired.” It really gives you a feel for what southern soul is supposed to sounds like.

The Impalas burst onto the ChampaignUrbana music scene in 1992 led by lead guitarist Bruce Rummenie. The Texas-Blues group has been laying down great live shows across the area ever since. Somehow, Rummenie manages to balance time among three different bands in the area, the other two being The Virtues and The Javelinas. Bruce writes original tracks for all three bands, as well as playing songs written by the finest Texas-Blues acts. Lead singer Dawna Nelson is The Impalas’ current lead singer, and clearly, with two nominations, the group has made quite a statement on the local music scene over the past decade. Nelson’s powerful, intense vocals are the perfect compliment to Rummenie’s riffs, which come straight from central Illinois. “Bruiser,” as friends of Rummenie call him, is from Quincy, Ill., where he attended Quincy University. The most curious thing about The Impalas is the fact that they almost remind you of ZZ Top, but you quickly realize that the saxophone player, Peter Roubal, keeps the blues influence on the surface, rather than the rock influence. Texas-Blues is a fine mixture of both rock and blues, and The Impalas know which came first: the blues. Keep an eye on the buzz CU Calendar for upcoming shows featuring any of these three bands.

Jazz Sandwich! Can you guess what the play? Me neither. Anyway, Jazz Sandwich is Josh Walden (aka Mayo) on bass, Josh Quirk (aka Hot Relish) on drums, Jesse Brown (aka yellow mustard) on keyboards, Tom Paytner (aka TOMato) on flute and keyboards and Jeff Hegelson (aka toasted wheat bun) on trumpet. Their moniker is as clever as their nicknames and reads, “Jazz Sandwich offers us a unique musical outlet to play all things that would get us fired from our other bands.” The meaning of this is still undetermined, but fortunately their music does indeed groove. See and hear them online at myspace. com/jazzsandwich and check out “Low Impulse Control.” Jazz Sandwich doesn’t have a show until the end of March at the Cowboy Monkey, so until then we’re all going to have to be content with regular sandwiches.

MARK SMART JOSH FISHER • STAFF WRITER

There have been few rad ica l sh i f t s i n instrumentation of music in all genres since guitar became the lead instrument of choice for a majority of music acts. Mark Smart is helping to end this trend. Mark Smart has been playing all sorts of different music over the past 25 years, from playing guitar with the U of I jazz bands, to an experimental prog-rock group. Recently, Mark has spent time helping to engineer one of the most impressive innovations in instruments since synthesizers. The Continuum Fingerboard essentially is a synthesizer. It has monophonic and polyphonic outputs, along with the ability to produce MIDI. What separates this instrument from synthesizers of the 20th century is how it’s played. The fingers strike the surface of a long rectangle; the position affects pitch, timbre and volume.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT from your friends at buzz We are shocked by the outrageous claims being made by our colleagues at WPGU-FM 107.1. Reportedly, this station believes that ticket giveaways every Tuesday are sufficient for fulfilling the entertainment needs of Champaign-Urbana. Ridiculous! Certainly, they cannot carry that burden themselves. So, even though they didn’t ask us, we graciously off our help. We are pleased to announce BUZZ TICKET GIVEAWAYS EVERY THURSDAY. Look in buzz each week for another chance to win. sounds from the scene

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The resultant sounds can be as rich and textured as a brass ensemble, or as smooth and mellow as a fretless bass. Unfortunately, the learning curve and the price also separate Continuum from its predecessors. These problems will fade eventually, and Continuum will turn many more heads in the future. To see and hear Mark Smar t play the Continuum Fingerboard, the Champan Stick (which any stringed instrument fan should take a look at) or with any of his old bands, got to http://www.marksmart.net. The video of Smart playing Continuum blew my mind and sold my LMA vote for Best Jazz within f ive minutes. Enjoy.

BUZZ THURSDAY TICKET GIVEAWAY ENTRY FORM Drop off at the Illini Media Building, 512 E. Green, Champaign Name: _______________________________________________ Phone: _______________________________________________ E-mail: _______________________________________________ Why do you read Buzz? ________________________________ TICKET GIVEAWAY 03.08.07 — Two winners will get a pair of tickets to the march 15th Taste of Chaos concert at Assembly Hall. Winners will be randomly drawn from forms submitted by March 13 at 5:00. No purchase necessary to win. Winners must be 18 years old and present a valid ID. Employees of Illini Media are not eligible to win. Other restrictions may apply.

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BEST SINGER/ SONGWRITER KAYLA BROWN

STEVE PLOCK • STAFF WRITER

Having just completed her first tour of the Northeast and eastern Midwest in early January, singer-songwriter Kayla Brown has proven herself to be a staple in the local music scene. In the past, she has been part of both Feaze and Desdemona, and she is currently keeping herself very busy. Kayla performs in a group called Darling Disarm alongside cellist Kristen Castagna and guitarist Mike Ingram. She is also part of the drum and bass group DJ Lil Big Bass. Kayla’s solo music is a calming blend of disarming vocals and delicate acoustic guitar. Unlike most female singer/songwriters today, Kayla doesn’t employ odd quirks or strange melodies to her music — she writes straightforward, relatable songs that are perfect for those long, contemplative nights. To hear Kayla’s songs and get a full list of her upcoming shows, visit her online at myspace. com/kaylabrownmusic, and be sure to listen to the song “Serenity Speeches,” which features some light piano ornamentation. You can catch her live at Bar Louie on March 16.

CANCEL!

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KATE HATHAWAY ALYSSA VALE • STAFF WRITER

Kate Hathaway was born and raised in a very musically inclined family. She began playing the guitar at the age of 13, and started writing songs not long after that. Hathaway played her first show as a musician during her senior year of high school and since then it has been a rollercoaster of hard work and steady achievements. She released her first EP, entitled One, Two, Three in 2003, and her full-length album Sprout Don’t Pout in 2005. Hathaway is unique in the way she allows herself to be bold in a very indistinct and subtle way. Her music combines sultry poetic lyrics with jazzy guitar riffs to form a sound that is not quite as grunge as Fiona Apple, and yet not quite as dreamy as Norah Jones. She currently has four songs available on her MySpace page at myspace.com/katehathawaymusic. I recommend “Panda Sorrow Part One.” Also, if you care to see her live, feel free to visit Aroma Café at 9 p.m. on Thursday, March 15 for a free, all-ages show that is sure to, if nothing else, give you a well-deserved break from your midterms.

Kate Hathaway

LYNN O’BRIEN

CD REVIEW: LYNN

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

O’BRIEN

ROSALIND WALTERS • STAFF WRITER

ROSALIND WALTERS • STAFF WRITER

Lynn O’Brien is a celebrated local artist hailing from Illinois State University in Bloomington. Still, she is no stranger to the Champaign music scene and has been performing around the area for two years. Lynn has graced the stage at the Illini Union Courtyard Café three times with her jaunty, jazzy style and chocolatey tones. She has a melodic sound like Joni Mitchell, but the sound and lyrics move her off the beaten track. Her music is, one could say, similar to a sweet, smooth dessert. “Its like an ice cream sundae,” said O’Brien. “The different sounds are like all the flavors and toppings.” Not only is there a song on her album titled “Tangerine,” but there is also soul in her lyrics that binds with the music like a smoothly blended coffee. If jazz with dessert is your game, then grab a coffee and check out O’Brien’s music at her upcoming concerts. Her next will be on Friday, March 9 at the Canopy Club in Urbana, or listen at her Web site, www.lynnobrienmusic.com.

Lynn O’Brien’s smooth jazzy melodies, jaunty piano and myriad of different instrumental sounds blend together to make her first CD, Umbrella. The songs and melodies of the lyrics are colorful — sometimes sweet, sometimes smooth — and are consistently soulful. Melodically, like Joni Mitchell, the jazz, piano and resonating vocals are very mellow yet energetic. Although there are a variety of instruments selected by O’Brien herself, she refrains from harsh, jarring tones. The chorus of instruments, from the tuba to the congas, mix surprisingly well together. The song “Tangerine” almost has a 1950s jazz ring to it, while songs like “She Said” flow with a smooth style. The stylistically jaunty instrumentals paired with O’Brien’s poetic lyrics will make walking in the rain or waking up and drinking coffee a less “run of the mill” Champaign experience.

Kayla Brown, nominee for best singer/songwriter.

ROB MCCOLLEY ROSALIND WALTERS • STAFF WRITER

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

Rob McColley, who was born and raised in Champaign, is also the lead singer in a band called The Heather, and has an alter ego named Laurie McColley. His first CD, Psuedonymous, presents him as an eclectic singer whose appearance is as confusing as his sound. While the definition of his CD means “to bear a false or fictitious name,” his Rufus Wainwright-meets-Wilco musical vibe proves that the unexpected is for once a safe bet. In 2003, he released Juicy, and in 2005, he was also a “Best New Artist” Local Music Awards nominee. To learn more about this Champaign native, visit www.robmccolley.com.

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RACHEL BRAUNSTADTER ERIN GILLMAN • STAFF WRITER

Rachel Braunstadter’s voice is wispy and haunting as she strums away on the guitar. Each of her songs has a unique feel, from syntheticinfused pop to melancholy acoustic poetry. Rachel is in a band called Cameo Turret (also native to Champaign), and her voice strangely resembles Alanis Morissette’s, but her music and lyrics are a few steps up. Rachel’s main music influences include Poe and Heather Nova, and it shows — for fans of the two, expect the same chilling voice matched with a soft acoustic melody. She’s Champaign’s resident Sarah McLachlan with more emotion and energy in her whispers than many bands can match with an hour-long live show. Her MySpace account is at w w w. m y s p a c e .c o m /1 211769 6 , a n d m y recommended song is “Hit.” Rachel isn’t scheduled for any solo shows, but Cameo Turret is playing at Cowboy Monkey at the end of March. I recommend sitting back and relaxing with a bottle of wine and some Rachel time.

MIKE INGRAM SPEAKS: Smashing jazz and blues together makes for an odd grouping, but Kilborn Alley always seems to be the favorite. Jazz Sandwich is a ridiculously talented band, but not enough people have seen them yet.

sounds from the scene

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VOTE GORBACHEV.

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2007 Nominees Best Rock Artist

Lorenzo Goetz Shipwreck Headlights

the Living Blue the Chemicals JigGsaw

Best Hip-Hop/R&B Artist

Krukid C King Agent Mos

Dre Bill Rafael Smith Sanya N’Kanta

Best Folk/ Americ!n! Artist

Angie Heaton and the Gentle Tamers elsinore Delta Kings

Tractor Kings The Beauty Shop Prairie Dogs

Best He!vy Artist

Terminus Victor I:Scintilla E.S.P.

Dropsixx Roberta Sparrow Boots & Bracelets

Best J!zz/Blues Artist

Jazz Sandwich Kilborn Alley the Impalas

Jason Finkleman Desafinado Mark Smart

Best Singer/ Songwriter

Kayla Brown Lynn O’Brien Rachel Braunstadter

Rob McColley Kate Hathaway Ryan Groff

Loc!l Album of the ye!r

Headlights - Kill them with Kindness elsinore - Nothing for Design Shipwreck - House of Cards EP

JigGsaw - Zero Generation I:Scintilla - Havestar fireflies - Goodnight

Best DJ

Tim Williams Asiatic DJ Bozak

Delaney DJ Bris DJ Mertz

Best New Artist

Watery Domestic Archives of the Future Casados

Tritone Santa Coco Coca

Best Producer/ Engineer

Brett Sanderson Mark Rubel Matt Talbott

Jon Pines Brandon Simms Adam Schmitt

(Write in) Best Live Performer: (Write in) Best Student B!nd:

NAME __________________________ ADDRES ________________________ E-MAIL ________________________ Return completed b!llot to Illini Medi! 512 E. Green

sounds from the scene

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CEREMONY WON’T M AT a r337-8337 c h 8 | • DATEXXXXXX, M a r c h 2003 1 4 ,buzz 2 oo7 WANT TO SELL THAT GREEN VELVET COUCH OFJUST YOURS? CALLDO. BUZZ CLASSIFIEDS

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

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RATES: Billed rate: 39¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 33¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

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Earn great money as an exotic dancer at the Silver Bullet. You pick your hours. Call 344-0937 after 8pm. Position Announcement Illini Union Courtyard Café Manager

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Cunningham Children's Home, and agency offering residential treatment to children ages 9-18 with severe emotional and behavioral disorders is seeking qualified candidates to provide supervision and care to youth. Night Cottage Counselor: Full Benefits included

The Illini Union Courtyard Café is taking applications for Courtyard Café Manager for the 2007- 2008 academic year. Job responsibilities include selecting, producing and marketing programs and entertainment in the Courtyard Café. This involves contacting and booking bands and entertainers, evaluating program proposals from student organizations and completing departmental procedures regarding the reservation of space, advertising events and bookkeeping. Graduate hourly position. $11.83/hour. Average workweek is 20 hours. Term of appointment: August 2007 through May 2008, although hiring will begin in April for training and to begin booking fall dates.

This position requires staying awake and alert throughout an overnight shift. The shifts available are 11pm7am, 7pm-7am, and 9pm-9am. The pay range is $8.21-$11.71 depending on experience and education. High School diploma or GED required. Please forward resumes/applications to HRD/NCC.

The Courtyard Café is located in the center of the first floor of the Illini Union. It offers programming for U of I students six days a week. On weekends, a special emphasis is placed on offering popular, live entertainment at a reasonable price. A knowledge of the local music scene and passion for producing quality entertainment is a plus. Interested applicants should send a letter of application, resume and contact information for three references to Bob Conrad, Illini Union Multimedia, 129 Illini Union, MC-384, 1401 W. Green St., Urbana, IL 61801, or bconrad@uiuc.edu by March 26.

Part-Time RPT:

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'VMM 1BSU 5JNF Bicycle service/sales positions available for now and for summer. Previous experience preferred. Apply in person. Durst Cycle, 1112 W. University, U. LOOKING FOR A SUMMER JOB? Mckinley Inc., a national leader in apartment housing, has opportunities for part time and full time MAINTENANCE TECHS and LEASING CONSULTANTS, 9.50/hour. Also add a TAX FREE TUITION BONUS of up to $1250 for full time and $750 for part time! Positions run from May- Sept. Background check and drug screen required. Please apply online at www.mckinley.com or fax resume to 1-866-252-1202 or email to summerjobs@mckinley.com, or apply in person at Hessel on the Park, 1862 Valley Road, Champaign. EOE Hickory River Smokehouse is now hiring Cashiers, Kitchen help, and Drive-Thru help. Day and Night hours available. Apply in person at 1706 N. Cunningham Ave, Monday thru Friday 2pm- 4pm. No phone calls please. Previous applicants need not apply.

Half-Time RPT: Benefits include paid leave time and holidays. Eligible for 401 (k) after 1 year. This position is 21 hours a week and available shifts include 6-11 p.m. 3 nights a week, and a 6 hour shift on Sunday, either 11am-5pm or 5pm11pm. Please forward resumes/applications to HRD/RPT.

This position is 7a-9a Monday thru Friday. 10 hours per week. Please forward resumes/applications to HRD/RPT. Prospective employees must possess a valid Illinois driver's license, and are required to submit to a preemployment drug screen and background check. Applicants who have submitted an application or resume within the last 90 days need not reapply. Applications are available at or send resumes to: Cunningham Children's Home 1301 N. Cunningham Urbana, IL 61802 Immediate Cocktail Waitress positions available. Fun and energetic work environment. Flexible work hours, great money. Apply within or call 217-398-6332. Ask for Carl or Jon.

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'VSOJTIFE 6OGVSOJTIFE Courtyard on Randolph 713 S. Randolph, C. Now leasing for August. Furnished/ Unfurnished. Spacious 2 and 3 bedrooms starting at $630. Close to campus and downtown. Water, Direct TV and parking included. Balcony, laundry and seasonal pool. (217)352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

Large 2 BR, 1 BA, free internet, central heat/ac, washer/dryer, parking included, $570 w/o utilities, 630-7394159, joekwak@sbcglobal.net

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6OGVSOJTIFE Duplex, 2 bedrooms, appliances including washer/dryer. 1 car garage. On busline. $595/mo. (217)6370975. evavlach@prudentiallandmark.com

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1004 W. Springfield Urbana. Furnished 1 BR for summer. Internet included. On bus route. $435/mo. 309370-8981. jmraley@uiuc.edu Furnished 1 BR, BA is available for Spring and Summer for $380/mo. Initial price was $470/mo at Atrium Apartments. All utlities included, 217-766-7196 or hussainlajami@gmail.com

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Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

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House for Sale (3210 Baronry, Urbana), 4 bedroom including large bonus room, 2.5 baths, living room with wood-burning fireplace, large study, oak flooring 1st floor, remodeled kitchen with corian counters, two-car attached garage, near bike path, cul-del-sac location, 2800 sq. ft., $217,000. Go to www.FSBOLocal.com. call: 369-7788 (kradnitzer@millikin.edu)

Want to congratulate your friend on their latest achievement? Want to let that special someone know how much you appreciate them? Then call the DI/Buzz Classifieds at 3378337 to set up a shoutout!

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sounds from the scene

29

kim rice DOIN’ IT WELL

the stinger

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Wonderbra “Fresh Start” – first nu-metal, 26 BASE jumper’s pack contents now this. 27 Showed one’s contempt by Matt Jones for, maybe 29 Emit light, as some pointers 30 The number after ocho, Across lined up vertically? 1 Roughs it 34 “What ___, a mind reader?” 6 Trails 35 Most like the Grinch 14 Separated 36 Norm for Greg Norman 15 Got too wordy in one’s blog, 37 Type of energy with its fundperhaps ing slashed? 17 The first X-rated Bond film? 39 Prop for Mr. Peanut 19 “Brideshead Revisited” 40 Zonked out author Waugh 41 Woman of letters 20 Slip up 42 Dirty ___ 21 Word before fry or potatoes 45 Late playwright Wasserstein 22 Corporation that owns 46 Here, in France Ball Park hot dogs and 47 Words seen before closing

7 Company with a familiar ring to it? 8 Hanoi holiday 9 Regal title, for short 10 Vince McMahon’s org. 11 Part of ETA 12 42-down, at higher altitudes 13 Look too long 16 Heroine Jane 18 The largest share 21 SeaWorld attraction 22 Hoard 23 “This is only ___” 24 Engrossed 25 2006 movie set in Georgia 26 Scottish family 27 Ex-”Talk of the Nation” host Ray 28 Pound divisions 30 Early Eagles coach Earle, nicknamed “Greasy” 31 Vertically 32 Red Sox outfielder Ramirez 33 La ___ Tar Pits 35 Fishnet stockings material 38 Body of water in Quebec 39 Dessert mentioned in “The Godfather” 41 Went off course 42 Warble 43 Integra maker 44 Evenings, on some signs 45 Take the plunge credits 47 What you used to be? 49 Tops of houses covered with 48 Beer froth small birds? 50 Devours 56 “Wow, I never thought of 51 Devoured that before!” 52 Bronze component 57 Cary of “The Princess 53 Summer hrs. in Iowa Bride” 54 Extra charge 58 Was concurrent 55 Cobra warning 59 Sits down to eat Down 1 Kicked item 2 “Much ___ About Nothing” (“The Simpsons” episode) 3 Participated in a jam session 4 Away from prying eyes 5 Remington played by Pierce Brosnan 6 Birthday gift wish for little girls

solutions on pg. 30

sounds from the scene

W

hen I was a senior in high school, I did a project for government class on condom distribution in public schools. As a budding young sexual health advocate, with little sex education, training or knowledge of the world, I knew on some deep, intuitive level that condoms were a good thing. OK, so it might have been more about getting a reaction from my parents or creating controversy in school, but now as a more educated sexual health advocate, I still know that condoms are a good thing and promoting their use is even better. Knowing this has left me bewildered by the comments I hear from folks both young and old about how condoms don’t work, how you can still get an STI even if you use them, or how carrying condoms or giving them to teens will increase the likelihood that people will have sex. People cite that talking about condoms is awkward, and that suggesting using them elicits responses like “Why? Do you have something?” or “Don’t you trust me?” How did condoms get such a bad rap? I was talking to a friend the other night about this and said that I just don’t understand why people have such negative beliefs about condom s. If we th in k about it, condom s a re awesome! T hey a re h ig h ly ef fect ive in preventing HIV and other “discharge” infections like gonorrhea and chlamydia. That alone seems like a compelling reason to use them ever y time you have sex. But people don’t, and they don’t like the idea of using them either. This led me to think more about this topic and to do a little research to solve the mystery of the hated, mistrusted, underutilized and ever-scrutinized condom. You might be surprised to hear that in recent years, a very conservative administration has had an impact on the way the public views condom s, dec rea si ng ou r con f idence i n a condom’s ability to prevent infection and pregnancy. The Bush Administration has spent over a billion dollars funding “abstinence only until marriage” sex education programs that distort the health benefits of using condoms, and do not provide any information on how to use a condom correctly. Meanwhile, no federal dollars exist for comprehensive sex education, even though public opinion polls document that 90 percent of Americans want comprehensive sex education in schools. In addition, according to a recent policy brief by Advocates For Youth, our conservative administration has argued at international con ferences that promot i ng condom use increases sexual initiation and activity in youth, a mere moral opinion that is in opposition to what scientific research reveals. They’ve also requested that the FDA implement condom labeling that highlights condom “failure” instead of condom effectiveness.

Oh, and one more thing, they’ve appointed social conser vatives to the U.S. National Institute of Health’s advisory committee on reproductive health. These social conservatives oppose promoting condom use and availability, not because condoms don’t work, or because research has found them to be ineffective, but because they personally don’t believe in condoms or premarital sex. No wonder people mistrust condoms. And can we blame them? What can we do? Advocate for the Responsible Education about Life (REAL) Act! This act will provide federa l money to suppor t comprehensive, responsible sex education in schools, including science-based, medically accurate and ageappropr iate health infor mation about both abstinence and contraception. Title V funding for abstinence-only sexuality education expires June 30. With new Democratic control of Congress, it’s time to ACT! Contact Congress, urging them to support the REAL Act. Advocates for Youth has made this process very easy. Simply visit this Web site: http://www. advocatesforyouth.org/real.htm, scroll to the bottom and click on the link that will allow you to send a prepared e-mail letter to your senators and your representative. Research shows that when condoms and education about their use are readily available to youth, STI rates decrease and we don’t see an increase in sexual initiation or activity, nor do teens have sex at an earlier age. Don’t take my word for it; researchers are stating that condoms are, apparently, a really good thing.

SEX 411 SHOW SOME LOVE…TO CONDOMS • If it’s in the condom, it’s not in you. Condoms are highly effective in preventing HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and trichomoniasis, infections that are contained in bodily fluids, by providing a barrier from those fluids entering the vagina, mouth, rectum or penis. • Condom use is the best line of defense against STIs for people who are sexually active. HPV, herpes and syphilis may occur in places not covered by a condom. However, if you’re sexually active, covering as much skin as possible with a condom significantly reduces your risk of these infections. • Failure to use condoms equals condom failure. But can we really blame the condoms for that? Kim Rice is a professional sex educator. Email her your questions, reactions and opinions. buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

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YOU TRIED YOUR BEST AND YOU FAILED MISERABLY.

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free will astrology MARCH 8 - MARCH 14 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

“Dear Rob: As an experiment, I’ve been trying to soften myself-to see what it’s like to stand in a room and not always take the lead, not assume that no one else knows what they’re doing except me. It’s had an interesting effect so far: People seem more eager to play nice and offer me their good energy. But I don’t know if I’m willing to give up my take-charge instincts for much longer. Do I have to resign myself to either being strong or being loved? -Assertive Aries.” Dear Assertive: Could you add a little more love to your take-charge ferocity? And be more softly aggressive? And be open-hearted in your assertiveness?

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

I’m betting on the imminent arrival of at least two of the following climaxes: (1) You’ll culminate a task or goal you’ve been working on for months. (2) You’ll remember an important intention you’d forgotten for a long time. (3) You’ll graduate from a crash course you’ve been taking since October 2006. (4) You’ll be reunited with a lost sheep or forsaken dream that’s ready for another chance.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

If given three wishes by a fairy godmother, as in the heroes of old fairy tales, you probably wouldn’t ask for the ability to fly or the power to turn invisible or the gift of a golden carriage pulled by eight white horses crowned with white ostrich feathers. But what *would* you choose? Something like “I wish I could solve my relationship problems”? Or maybe “I wish I could find my direction in life,” or “I wish I had enough money to do the things I love to do”? This is an excellent time to get clear about your three wishes, Gemini. If you do, I can almost guarantee that at least one of them will come closer to fulfillment in the coming weeks.

and demean female power damages them as much as it does women. Until the coming of that happy day, I recommend that you celebrate International Women’s Day every day--and especially during the next three weeks. Your health, wealth, sex appeal, and wisdom will flourish in direct proportion to your efforts to give female intelligence more room to be expressed.

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

In his poem “Treasure Island,” Keith Althaus describes this scenario: “the tireless lighthouse flashes its ambiguous message: equal parts safety and danger.” What’s the equivalent of that in your life, Sagittarius? Is there a person, situation, or symbolic thing that is both warning you of a potential problem and telling you how to find sanctuary in a specific solution? Whatever it is, deepen your relationship with it so you’ll be finely attuned to the guidance it’s offering.

Be a workaholic as you build a beautiful life for yourself and those you care about most. Love as hard as you work; be a loveaholic. In fact, be doggedly devoted to becoming the best you can be in every way--not just in your career but also in your marriage and in your roles as friend, parent, community member, and all-around ethical person. Be stubborn in your insistence that we humans are capable of more and better, and prod others into being their best and most beautiful selves. If they refuse, end your relationship with them, but keep wishing them well.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

When Emperor Joseph II heard Mozart’s opera *Abduction from the Seraglio* in 1782, he remarked, “Too many notes, my dear Mozart, too many notes!” Sound familiar? I suspect you are exuding so much complex beauty and mysterious intelligence that, like Mozart, you may elicit responses akin to the emperor’s. Don’t take it personally. Though it is possible you’ll get a bit excessive, what’s more likely is that you’ll be as deep and rich and concentrated and emotive and vivid as you need to be in order to express what’s true for you right now. Will that make some people feel nervous or overwhelmed? Probably.

Sports franchises sell the naming rights to their stadiums. Baseball’s San Francisco Giants play at AT&T Park, for instance. Then there are the parents who’ve sold the naming rights to their unborn children on eBay. Inspired by these precedents, I’m thinking about selling the naming rights to the astrological signs. Instead of just “Aquarius,” I could maybe convince Nike to invest in calling it “Nike’s Aquarius.” Better yet, maybe I could hawk the rights (at a lower rate, of course) to organizations whose cultural influence I actually respect: Burning Man’s Aquarius or Greenpeace’s Aquarius. Given your current astrological omens, you should entertain an idea like this. Maybe you could add a corporate sponsor as your new middle name or as the name of your blog or your pet or your genitals. Consider it, Aquarius. It’s the perfect time to think outside the box in regard to bringing more money into your life.

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

PISCES

The time is ripe to sign a new contract with yourself. Put it all in writing--I mean the promises you want to make to your future self. Describe the ideals you intend to live up to, the freedoms you want to fight for, and the changes you want to make in the world around you. There’s no need to sign it in ink made from your blood, but I do suggest that you dab some of your sweat and tears on the document.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

While riding my bike along a route I’ve often traveled, I spied an unexpected sight: Standing amidst a twist of vines was a red signpost that said “Cherry Blossom Lane.” How could I not have seen that before? I pedaled over and found the beginning of a narrow road that had previously escaped me as well. I felt like I was in one of those dreams where you discover a hidden magic room in the attic of a familiar house. My heart filled with an irrational, child-like anticipation of imminent delight. I pedaled up a steep incline, disappointed to see there were no cherry trees in bloom. But as I reached the end of a cul-de-sac, I spotted a glint of gold in the mud. It was a statue of Jesus and Buddha holding hands, and there was a $20 bill taped to the bottom. Everything I just described is a metaphor for what I predict you’ll soon experience.

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

Feb. 19 – March 20

Molecular scientist Robert Bohannon knows a way to cram even more obscene gratification into a doughnut. He has discovered the secret to infusing pastries with a non-bitter version of caffeine. If his innovation is adopted by bakers, a doughnut would not only be able to have its usual sugary kick, but could also deliver the punch of two cups of coffee. Judging from the current astrological omens, Pisces, I’d say you’ll soon be able to find a healthy metaphorical equivalent to this pathological marvel for your own use. In other words, you’ll intensify your enjoyment of an already fine pleasure. Homework: What were the circumstances in which you were most dangerously alive? Testify by going to http://RealAstrology. com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected President of the United States four times, but he never won a majority of the votes in his home county of Duchess in New York. There is something comparable going on in your personal sphere, Libra: You’re getting more appreciation from outside your circle than you are from inside. Is there anything you can do about it? I think so. You now have the power to raise your standing among those in your immediate environment. Give them a vivid demonstration of what you’re really worth.

I foresee a time when women’s earnings will match men’s and when women will compose half of every governmental body instead of a measly ten percent. I predict an awakening that will help men understand that the global conspiracy to cripple

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MARIA SURAWSKA Designer LIKES

MEGHAN WHALEN Copy Chief GRIPES 1) Senioritis: Today I got up at 8 to write a paper that was due at 1, just because I was too damn lazy to write it last night. I never thought it would happen, but I’m at the point where I want to be done with college. I’m bored with it. 2) Inopportune text messaging: I recently went to a lecture and film screening given by a survivor of abuse. She was very inspirational, but the girls text messaging in the row in front of me while she was talking weren’t. So tacky. 3) Bitchy women in stores: I was at a Coach store in Chicago over the weekend. I picked up a purse to look at, and this pregnant woman standing next to me was like, “Um, I was looking at that.” Oh, I’m sorry, I shall avert my eyes and walk to the other side of the store. Apparently she was looking for a baby bag at Coach. Wow, that’s smart. I hope that baby spits up all over it.

1) The bottom of a cereal box: That’s where all the gold is. All those little “crunchy oat clusters” are hiding in the bottom of the bag, so that when I reach the last bits of my Smart Start, it’s “crunchy oat cluster” heaven. 2) Old people: I love old people, they’re just so damn awesome. One day, I hope to be a cat lady who sits on the front porch in a rocking chair, knitting ugly sweaters for my grandchildren. My husband must sit next to me, holding a rake and yelling at hooligans on our lawn. Only then will I truly be happy. 3) Animals in outfits: Pugs dressed as Darth Vader. Kitties dressed as Santa Claus. Weiner dogs dressed as wieners. Costumes with the front paws as legs. It’s all just so hilarious! I actually laughed out loud when I saw someone walking two huge dogs with matching purple sweaters last week.

Arrangement by Amelia Moore and Nikita Sorokin. PHOTOS BY AMELIA MOORE

RENEE OKUMURA Designer GRIPES

KERI CARPENTER Ar ts and Enter tain ment Editor GRIPES 1) Snow in March: OK, so maybe it shouldn’t be hot yet, but snow? In March? Must we wear boots and knit hats until June? Spring Break in Mexico, here I come... 2) Nail polish that chips easily: If I take time to polish my nails and deny myself any action that requires me to move my hands (which is everything except sleeping) for 20 minutes (30 minutes for two coats of polish), then it should not be chipping off three days later! At least give me one week of shine! 3) Powerful phone vibrators: For that person sitting next to me in class: I can feel your phone vibrating like it’s in my own pocket. You might as well turn your Mozart ringer back on because I can hear it vibrating loud and clear, too.

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1) Unofficial: Yay! Sorry to say, but I’m glad Unofficial is over! No more yelling in the streets late at night, no more drunk men banging on my apartment door, and definitely no more of those frequent sirens and horns that echo throughout campus. But I gotta admit, I will miss laughing at those drunk people getting tickets on the streets. 2) Inconsiderate bastards: So like I said, “no more drunk men banging on my apartment door.” Not only do I get pissed, but I get scared when a bunch of drunk boys start yelling and pounding on everyone’s door throughout the complex. Come on, some of us are trying to sleep! I would definitely be glad to give them a piece of my mind! Grrrrrrr... 3) Running low: Boy, now wouldn’t it be great if we had a real grocery store on Green Street? We basically have a little less than two weeks left till spring break and the only thing I have in my fridge and cabinet is a can of CHUNKY pork roast soup and a box of Rice-a-Roni. Kind of makes me feel as if I’ve been stranded in the middle of nowhere with only a can of re-fried beans.

Elsinore pretends I am a filthy bug.

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