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THE HOLE STORY

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Editor’s Note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow News of the Weird • Chuck Shephard Sh!ts and Giggles First Things First • Michael Coulter The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

AROUND TOWN Spring Break Tips • Susie An q + a with Julie Halberstadt Life in Hell • Matt Groening

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PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

LISTEN, HEAR Rachel’s On Stage • Joe Martin Buzz/WPGU’s Local Music Awards Nominees for Best Rock Band, Roots/Americana Band and Hip-Hop Sound Ground #67 • Todd J. Hunter Tweet review • Rosalyn Yates Neko Case review • Kyle Gorman The Hurly-Burley • Logan Moore Dusting for Vomit #3 with Spiral Seisiún

MAIN EVENT Free Will Astrology Bob n’ Dave • Dave King Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT John Jennings Cover Story • Brian Warmoth The Digging Barbarians • Emily Cotterman Artist’s Corner with Edward Moses (Th)ink • Keef Knight

WINE + DINE

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

THE SILVER SCREEN

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

410

APARTMENTS

TECH AND TAN

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease!

DIRECTOR

Home Hi, a private middle school for girls (40- 50 students) in Urbana, IL is seeking a Director. Applicants should have extensive teaching experience at the elementary or secondary level. The Director will manage the daily operations of the school and be in charge of short- and longrange planning. For more information, see www.homehi.org. Send cover letter, resume, and the names of three references to Linda Buzard, 604 S. Cedar St., Urbana, IL 61801 or email buzards@aol.com

Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living. 3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign. Apartments ranging from $895$1195/mo. NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

217-384-6930

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AUNTIE ANNE’S SOFT PRETZELS Market Place Mall 2-3 PT-FT Positions Includes Weekends Must Have Flexible Schedule Must Be At Least 18 Years Old Excellent Starting Wage Non-Smoker Apply In Person Or Online at www.pretzeljobs.com

TICKETS

270

2 REO Speedwagon tickets. Face value. March 17 7:30p.m. Assembly Hall, good seats. 618-839-5208

Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

310

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

Nine Month Leases Available Gundam Fighting robots and pets negotiable

2, 4, & 5 bedroom apartments available at 209 and 211 E. Clark, Champaign. Nine month lease starting in August, 2 bedroom: $745- $885/mo. 4 & 5 bedroom, $1525/mo. 12 month leases, 2 bedroom: $585- $695/mo, 4 or 5 bedroom $1195/mo.

217-384-6930

400

Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

Furnished/Unfurnished 1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

www.johnsmithproperties.com

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

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APARTMENTS

• Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Superior • Dependable, 24hr. management NOW LEASING maintenance • Short-term Leases FOR FALL • Free Parking • 24 Hour Courtesy • On Busline Gate House

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Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

503- 505- 508 E. White

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

203 S. Sixth. C.

For August 2005. Large 3, 4 bedrooms, 2 baths. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C

For August 2005. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C.

410

APARTMENTS

Billed rate: 35¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

105 E. John

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Fall 2005 Prime Campus Location 2, 3 Bedrooms THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1006 S. 3RD, C.

030

HELP WANTED

Available Jan 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

CLASSIFIEDS s o u n d s

420

Furnished

Furnished/Unfurnished

RATES:

Robots review • Matt Pais Loos Ends • John Loos Photo Poll • Robots The Pacifier review • Andrew Crewell Hostage review • David Just Movie time listings Get Shorty review • Dan Maloney A Very Long Engagement review • Matt Pais Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson Drive Through Reviews

APARTMENTS

207- 211 JOHN

DEADLINE:

All by myself • Carly Fisher

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Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

430

APARTMENTS Unfurnished

605 S. Fifth, C.

Fall 2005 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1 bedrooms available. Garage off-street parking. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court. Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. Call Chad at 344-9157 THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

602 E. Stoughton

For Fall. 2 Bedroom, no pets. Springfield and Gregory. $630/mo. 390-1444.

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626. Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

BIG AND CUDDLY!

Large 3BR ranch house with 2 car garage.. On Race St. near Windsor Rd. in Urbana. Close to Meadowbrook Park and Vet Med. PET FRIENDLY! Only $1295/mo.

217-384-6930

www.johnsmithproperties.com Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626 GREAT HOMES FOR GROUPS Visit www.cu-homes.com or call 217-766-5108.

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

ROOM & BOARD

604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished

515 W. WASHINGTON, C.

Newly remodeled, 1 BR, Now available. $395/mo. Near dowtown Champaign. 352-8540. www.faronproperties.com

540

Want community? Homemade meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

Personals

900

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INTRO

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April 7th, 2005 at The Highdive

under the cover

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C OV E R

under t h e |1-5|

The Digging Barbarian exhibit

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Local Achievements...

COKE-Y COLA? MORE LIKE CRACK-Y COLA!

Local Talent

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Local Music

2•

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

26 •

buzz weekly

WE REALLY SHOOK THE PILLARS OF HEAVEN, DIDN’T WE? BOOGEYMAN 1.5 stars

Barry Watson & Charles Mesure It was only a matter of time before somebody would come out with a film based on that scary creature underneath the bed or in the closet. The few scares Boogeyman provides are not worth the frustration of the rest of the film. (David Just) COACH CARTER 3.5 stars

ALONE IN THE DARK .5 STARS

Christian Slater & Tara Reid With the horrid music, awful writing and B-list casting, Alone in the Dark is not a must-see movie. While the idea may have enticed some film studio execs, it will do little for studio audiences. (Lauren Bridgewater) BECAUSE OF WINN-DIXIE 2 stars Jeff Daniels & Dave Matthews The movie is sweet; it is charming; it is innocent; it is dull. Based on the novel by Kate Dicamillo, the movie runs like a middle school read: lonely cute girl finds dog that helps her make friends with the eccentric, outcast characters of the town. It’s not a fairy tale, but it’s not exactly reality either. (Randy Ma) BE COOL 1 star John Travolta & Uma Thurman While watching Be Cool, one can’t help but think that the pieces are there for a pretty good movie. It has all the elements that would make a good film, such as humorous scenes and a couple of strong performances by the actors. Unfortunately, the movie is composed of numerous unrelated scenes that when tied together make for one unbearable plot to sit through for 115 minutes. (Brian Nichols)

Samuel L. Jackson & Ashanti It is predictable, a tad cliche, and it relies on some familiar techniques seen over and over again in sports films. But Coach Carter achieves exactly what it sets out to do. It is a magical story with a surprising and all too perfect ending. (David Just) CONSTANTINE 1.5 stars

Keanu Reeves & Rachel Weisz Overlong, overdone and overly plotted, Constantine is more of an anti-smoking commercial than an investigation into the forces that compel people toward good or evil. As far as Christianity-themed films go, it’s less laughable than Heath Ledger’s embarrassing, amateur The Order, but it’s still packed with religious philosophizing that neither its script nor its actors can pull off. (Matt Pais) CURSED 1 star Christina Ricci & Shannon Elizabeth There are a few genuine moments of shock during Cursed but nothing that hasn’t already been done. The dialogue is extremely weak, and the performances are uninspired. Cursed is not terrifying, is funny when it shouldn’t be and boasts the most obnoxiously CG werewolf ever to disgrace the screen. (Paul Prikazsky) HIDE AND SEEK 1.5 STARS Robert DeNiro & Dakota Fanning Hide and Seek relies on a climactic twist to deliver its psychological payoff, but here the major revelation

deprives the film of any intellectual insight, not to mention its already-weak grasp on reality. As far as horror movies go, Hide and Seek is pure child’s play. (Matt Pais) HITCH 2.5 STARS Will Smith and Eva Mendes Hitch is high-concept Hollywood fluff, yet, for the most part, it works because of its focus on chivalry and love and not sex and debauchery. There’s also a perfect niche for Hitch as a movie that, like an issue of Cosmo, can both entertain and court women, while teaching guys a few things about falling in love. (Matt Pais) HOTEL RWANDA 2.5 stars Don Cheadle & Sophie Okonedo A high-profile starring role has been a long time coming for Don Cheadle, and it’s a pleasure to see the charismatic character actor drive Hotel Rwanda with patience and quiet strength. Too bad Terry George’s highly dramatized retelling of the 1994 political crisis that left one million people dead never achieves the chaotic horror of the real-life tragedy. (Matt Pais) MAN OF THE HOUSE 1.5 stars Tommy Lee Jones & Cedric the Entertainer Only a true pessimist could have predicted that, 12 years after accepting an Oscar for his work in The Fugitive, Tommy Lee Jones would be sticking his hand up the south end of a cow in the lowbrow fish-out-ofwater comedy Man of the House. For some reason, it took three writers to put together this nonsense, and not one succeeded in making it funny. (Matt Pais) MILLION DOLLAR BABY 3 STARS

Clint Eastwood & Hilary Swank It does take an unexpectedly dark twist toward the end that should knock most viewers back a few steps. Yet, Million Dollar Baby never swings hard enough to send you reeling. It’s enough to win a judge’s decision, but it’s no knockout. (Matt Pais)

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THE MERCHANT OF VENICE 3 stars

Al Pacino & Joeseph Fiennes The true fire to The Merchant of Venice is the question of what is worth more: money, love, religion or life itself. In the end, it’s the law that supercedes in a story in which commitment can be comedic, the loss of one’s faith can be tragic and honor is never for sale. (Matt Pais) THE WEDDING DATE .5 star

Debra Messing & Dermot Mulroney The Wedding Date is another movie where being single is a curse, and heaven help you if you haven’t landed a man by your mid-30s. It’s as much fun as getting left at the altar and just as romantic. (Matt Pais)

Fresh flicks opening this weekend

THE RING TWO Naomi Watts & Sissy Spacek This sequel to the 2002 sleeper hit finds Watts reprising her role as reporter Rachel Keller, who became entangled with the VHS tape from Hell in the original. Despite moving to another state to escape the horror, Rachel finds herself drawn into more trouble involving the supernatural tape. Sounds groundbreaking. The director is Hideo Nakata, who helmed the original Japanese film that’s spawned this series. (Andrew Vecelas) THE SEA INSIDE Javier Barden & Belen Rueda This year’s Academy Award winner for Best Foreign Language Film opens this weekend at Boardman’s Art Theater. It tells the true story of Ramón Sampedro, a paralyzed Spanish man who spends three decades fighting for the right to end his own life. The film focuses on his relationships with two women who fight for opposite sides of his cause. Expect a thoughtful look at a politically and morally controversial issue. (Andrew Vecelas)

The Daily Illini, Buzz and Savoy 16 Theatres, would like to congratulate the lucky winners of the 2005 Oscar Picks!

Grand Prize:

Stephanie Baker

52 pairs of passes to Savoy 16

Second Prize:

Lisa Spencer

Third Prize:

Jeff Kelly

52 single passes to Savoy 16

26 single passes to Savoy 16

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EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

y column is going to follow the general trend of the weekly columns this week, but I first want to take a few sentences to pat the staff of Buzz on the back. This week marks our Two Year Anniversary as an independent department of the Illini Media Company. Two years ago this week, the Buzz decided it would no longer be just a supplement to the DI and instead try to make a name for itself all on its lonesome. Granted, we’re still distributed in the DI, but we print over breaks, and the Buzz also gets distributed throughout the C-U community. Plus the Buzz is printed over winter and summer breaks. So I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to us. Now onto my real topic: The NCAA tourney. As I hope you know, Selection Sunday just happened, and games start today. March has gotta be the best month for sports each year. NBA playoffs (which were way better when the Bulls dominated, but they’re back on the rise), the Cubs (and the rest of major league baseball) start spring training, and, of course, the most exciting sporting event of the year: the close of the NCAA basketball season. And this year my beloved Illini start at #1. The Illini have had an incredible season; they’re fun to watch, they’re unselfish, they run the offense like a well-oiled machine, and they play stifling defense.Their lone loss on the season I blame fully on the Sports Illustrated cover curse (damn curse ruined my Cubbies last year). I’m quite the superstitious guy when it comes to sports (I played baseball for 15 years, how could I not be superstitious?), and I don’t want to jinx the team anymore, so I’ll just talk about the brackets in general. I’ll openly admit that until last week, I had no idea that Washington had a team worthy of a #3 seed, let alone the fourth #1 seed. I understand Duke and UNC, and North Carolina scares the hell out of me.As for our bracket, though, Oklahoma St. is a damn good team. And Boston College is scary, too. Hell, all the teams are scary. It’s great to be ranked number one in the country, but everyone brings their A game when they play you. Everyone wants to knock you off the top. And the NCAA tourney is the best place to do it. Every game is life or death. After every game, the loser’s season is over, and the winner is one game closer to capturing the greatest trophy in sports. I hope the Illini finish the year strong, playing tenacious defense and knocking down three pointers with ease.We just need to play our game straight through the finals. How perfect would that be? Our hundredth year ... Oh man. Are you ready for this? Cause I sure as hell am. - Paul

Take a Break from Studying, Get a

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Cover Design • Sue Janna Truscott Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Carol Mudra Copy Chief • Stacey Ivanic Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Brian Warmoth Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Susie An Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Adam Obendorf, Sue Janna Truscott, Glenn Cochon, Claire Napier, Hannah Bai, Brittany Bindrim Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner Photography • Sarah Krohn, Adriana D’Onofrio Copy Editors • Jen Hubert, Nellie Waddell Staff Writers • Matt Pais, David Just, Andrew Crewell, Susan Schomburg, Dan Maloney, John Loos, Todd J. Hunter, Rosalyn Yates, Joe Martin, Emily Cotterman, Carly Fisher Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Logan Moore, Jeff Nelson Production Manager • Jazmyne Jones Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Rory Darnay, Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

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We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

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EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU A KING?

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Vivienne, an interactive companion accessible on powerful,â&#x20AC;&#x153;third-generationâ&#x20AC;? cell phones, was recently introduced by the Hong Kong company Artificial Life as a high-maintenance, video-image â&#x20AC;&#x153;girlfriendâ&#x20AC;? who goes on dates with you, kisses, speaks six languages, converses on 35,000 topics, accepts flowers and diamonds, and may even marry you (though you also acquire a troublesome mother-in-law). Vivienne so far is prudish (no nudity, no sex), owing to Artificial Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s aim at marketing in modest cultures, but she will appear in Europe and some U.S. cities by the end of this year (at about $6 a month plus airtime). Said one Hong Kong video game player, characterizing Vivienne for the New York Times, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little bit for the losers.â&#x20AC;?

NAMES IN THE NEWS From the crime column of the Lewisville (Texas) Leader, Feb. 14: arrested on charges of drug possession, driving while intoxicated and driving without a license: Mr. Fred Flintstone,

34. And taken into custody in February in Miami to begin serving a one-year sentence on alien-smuggling charges: a Chinese national whose given name is King Kong.And an obituary from the Fort Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram, Dec. 2: Mr. Dom Perigion Champagne, whose parents were Mr. Jeron Champagne and Ms. Perfect Engelberger.

W H AT G O E S AROUND

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AROUND,

COMES

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; According to Transportation Security Administration officials, New Jersey psychiatrist Esha Khoshnu, in a stopover in Phoenix en route to a professional meeting in San Diego in February, got â&#x20AC;&#x153;mouthy and snippyâ&#x20AC;? with Mesa Airlines agents who wanted to examine her luggage, reportedly saying,â&#x20AC;&#x153;(Even if) I had a bomb, you wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t find it.â&#x20AC;? Agents, following TSA protocol, detained her, causing her to miss her flight, and her luggage, loaded onto another flight, was eventually detonated on the tarmac at Lindbergh Field in San Diego. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; According to an Agence France-Presse

story from Wavrechain-sous-Denain, France, a three-year-old mastiff named Pako, once again abusing a lamppost as he lifted his leg and relieved himself, was electrocuted when his stream hit the metal pole, which (following an act by vandals) had a loose lamp wire touching it.

C H U T Z PA H ! Porchia Bennett of Philadelphia was last visited by her father, Lester Trapp, when she was one, then virtually abandoned by her drugaddicted mother,Tiffany Bennett, at age two, to fall to the custody of Tiffany's drug-addicted sister and the sister's boyfriend, who lived in ratinfested squalor and who are now charged with killing Porchia at age three through starvation and physical abuse. In February, Trapp and his parents filed a lawsuit against the city of Philadelphia for failing to protect Porchia (with Tiffany also entitled to share the proceeds as Porchia's â&#x20AC;&#x153;beneficiaryâ&#x20AC;?). COPYRIGHT 2004 Chuck Shepherd Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate

Another Night Out Drinking?

a Nd

Gi g gLEs

An informed and opinionated look at this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s events

]

COMPILED BY LOGAN MOORE

Last Monday President Bush nominated John Bolton as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations. The former undersecretar y of state for arms control and outspoken critic of the U.N. said on Monday that, â&#x20AC;&#x153;American leadership is critical to the success of the U.N.â&#x20AC;? Yeah, that whole â&#x20AC;&#x153;unitedâ&#x20AC;? part of â&#x20AC;&#x153;United Nationsâ&#x20AC;? was a load of horse shit anyways, right Johnny? USA! USA! The Senate recently rejected two different measures that would have raised the minimum wage for the first time since 1996. Oh excuse us, rich politicians could you make it harder for the average American to declare bankruptcy too? What? You did that too! Oh truly, Christmas has come early this year. Thanks representative government! USA today is reporting that the Depar tment of Homeland Security has hired a Hollywood liaison in order to offer advice to television and film producers about por traying U.S.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s homeland defenders. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Uh yeah, were gonna need John Negroponte to appear less shady and unappealing, perhaps we could switch the casting from Mike Douglas to Harrison Ford?â&#x20AC;? The head of the Government Accountability Office told members of the house recently that setting up private social security accounts would make the programâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funding problems worse over the short term. Hold up a minute. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Government Accountability Office?â&#x20AC;? Someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been asleep at the wheel.

getting arrested

The New York Times is reporting that the Pentagon is considering shipping hundreds of Guantanomo Bay detainees overseas to foreign prisons in Iraq, Afghanistan and Yemen. See extraordinary rendition is sorta like musical chairs but with torture.

having unprotected sex fighting failing a test DUI missing class

The Illinois House Committee recently passed a proposal to ban the sale of violent and sexually explicit video games to children. Own up Blagojevich, you know you be lovinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; that Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas shiiiiiit!

STI 92.4% of U of I students think people risk harming themselves by having five or more drinks in one sitting. Based on a representative sample of students surveyed at the University of Illinois in February 2004. (1 drink = 12oz beer = 4-5oz wine = 1oz shot)

Losing control can mean losing a lot more.

Office of the Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs

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Get Shorty: Special Edition

DAN MALONEY â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funny: sometimes it takes a criminal to

make people honest. Some guys get all the luck. Some get screwed. Some get killed. Life isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fair and neither are those who are in business with one Chili Palmer, the hero of Elmore Leonardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s novel Get Shorty. Chili Palmer, played by the ageless John Travolta, is one hell of a loan shark in a small pool, which in the business of film is a perfect fit for a producer. With mob bosses torn from The Godfather and The Third Man, Chili has to pay off a sizeable debt to a ruthless mob boss who desperately wants him killed (Dennis Farina), all the while fending off dead beat movie producers (Gene Hackman), drug dealers (Delroy Lindo), romancing a Bmovie queen (Rene Russo) and convincing her ex, the biggest star in Hollywood (Danny DeVito) to take part. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s surprising that this film works so well. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always difficult to maintain several different angles and having each of them fit so well really removes quite a bit of believability from the film. Some of the roles are not what one would expect from the actors. John Travolta, considering his previous works, surprises in his turn as a mob loan shark. He maintains the Jersey swagger and confidence and the â&#x20AC;&#x153;donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t screw with meâ&#x20AC;? attitude without it becoming hokey

MATT PAIS â&#x20AC;˘ LEAD REVIEWER

ou (and Pat Benatar) may have heard that love is a battlefield, but in Jean-Pierre Jeunetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (Amelie) exquisitely engaging A Very Long Engagement, love, literally, goes to war. In World War I-ravaged France, a devoted young woman named Mathilde (Amelieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Audrey Tautou) has spent the three years following the war wondering about the fate of her fiancee, a soft-skinned, baby-faced loverboy named Manech (Gaspard Ulliel).Tired of using hypothetical deals with herself as her source of hope that Manech is still alive (such as believing that if her dog enters her room before she is called down to dinner then her man lives), Mathilde hires a private investigator (Ticky Holgado) to help find out what happened to her beloved but terrified soldier. Working from the novel by Sebastien Japrisot, Jeunet and co-writer Guillaume Laurant cut back and forth between Mathildeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s search for the truth and flashback shots of Manech in the war, slowly revealing what happened to him and why.The film is a military mystery twisted by romance and cirf r o m

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A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENTâ&#x20AC;˘ AUDREY TAUTOU

cumstance, with corruption, betrayal and duty all leading to the death of most of the soldiers in Manechâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brigade. Jeunetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s imaginative visual style translates surprisingly well to a story filled with more battle scenes than quirky flourishes of amorous sentimentality. Both in battle and in Mathildeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s search, the movie never feels like a generic war movie or a familiar love story, despite the relatively routine framework of a woman waiting for her warrior to come home. As in Amelie,Tautou is lovely and understated, and she lends much-needed reality to Mathildeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hopeful search for Manech. Despite her quiet energy, A Very Long Engagement takes its time to get going, and for the first half hour, you might fear that it will be a very, very long engagement indeed. But once it kicks in, it becomes a rich, violent and passionate film about how, in a way, all lovers have to be soldiers

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or even typical. Dennis Farina, however, gives the typical Italian tough guy without bringing anything new to the table. Luckily, performances arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the big draw. The film itself is a smart, quick-witted take on the movie business on the level with Robert Altmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Player or Billy Wilderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sunset Blvd. The audience is exposed to a level of thievery and deception that is not only fun, but damn smart. There are a few things that really make a film that much GET SHORTY â&#x20AC;˘ JOHN TRAVOLTA & RENE RUSSO better, that being a good DVD to accompany a good film.The original release Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a bit of information that was previously of the DVD held nothing more than two dif- unknown: Ben Stiller was supposed to be in the ferent audio tracks. Now, with the continuing movie but had his sequence cut. It can be releases of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Special Editions,â&#x20AC;? Get Shorty is only found on this DVD and is rather funny. Normally, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s billed under the â&#x20AC;&#x153;special improved by the extra. The transfer is much cleaner than earlier editionâ&#x20AC;? category are usually a complete flop. versions, and is most noticeable in the See The Wild Bunch or Goodfellas if one Miami scenes and in Harry Zimmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s office. requires further proof. This decidedly blows Besides the transfer, however, there are a that myth out of the water, enforcing a sleek new print of the film, complete with docuplethora of featurettes. The second disk contains three separate mentaries, commentaries and a free ticket to featurettes that delve deep into the film and the the sequel Be Cool. Some DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s skimp on the characters created in it. The highlight of the extras because the film is great. Others give a special features is easily the documentary called superfluity in order to cover up a mediocre â&#x20AC;&#x153;Get Shorty:Wise Guys and Dolls,â&#x20AC;? which puts movie. Get Shorty provides what few DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a spotlight on each of the main characters, giv- can offer: a quality movie for fans of the genre ing a little more insight to their motivations and a plethora of extras for the movie nerd in and how the given character was developed. all of us.

A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT

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HOWâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S YOUR WIFE AND MY KIDS?

GET SHORTY S H !t S

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-G. K. Chesterton

Just

damaging your reputation

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they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle.

wEiRd

LEAD STORY

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Brave men are all vertebrates;

y o u r e v e r y d a y n e w s but hell, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re weekly

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at one point or another. Even more so, it takes a unique, compelling approach to the notion of soldiers leaving their reason for living at home and the idea that the optimism of love is sometimes the only thing strong enough to stare death in the face. It teems with life, love and romantic idealism, with a few tender scenes standing out with such buoyant affection itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a shame that the others donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do the same. As Jeunet layers the story with flashbacks of Mathilde and Manech falling for each other and other couples communicating in their own â&#x20AC;&#x153;codedâ&#x20AC;? way, the movie develops a heartfelt motif in which the language of love is something beautiful and confusing that only the enamored can understand.The little things that bind people togetherâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a look, a conversation, or initials carved in a treeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;take on a wild romanticism, and the ability to maintain a connection to that one special person, even when they might be long gone, is a hardfought victory. It shows how even after a relationship is lost or battlefields have been covered with new grass, the remnants of love and war remain with people and places long after they cease to be physically evident. In A Very Long Engagement, love is the center of all conflicts, and the most violent war is the one fought in a heart separated from its other half.

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The film itself takes a smart quickwitted take on the movie business.

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4 â&#x20AC;˘ buzz

Once it kicks in, it becomes a rich, violent, and passionate film.

RING TWO (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) (3 SCREENS) Fri. 1:10 2:00 3:00 4:00 5:00 5:30 7:00 7:30 7:50 9:20 10:00 11:00 11:45 Sat. 11:10 11:40 1:10 2:00 3:00 4:00 5:00 5:30 7:00 7:30 7:50 9:20 10:00 11:00 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 2:00 3:00 4:00 5:00 5:30 7:00 7:30 7:50 9:20 10:00 ICE PRINCESS (G) Fri. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40 11:50 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40 ROBOTS (PG) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:20 2:00 3:25 4:20 5:25 7:00 7:25 9:10 9:30 11:10 11:45 Sat. 11:00 11:30 1:20 2:00 3:25 4:20 5:25 7:00 7:25 9:10 9:30 11:10 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 2:00 3:25 4:20 5:25 7:00 7:25 9:10 9:30 HOSTAGE (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:10 9:40 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:10 9:40 BE COOL (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:30 7:00 9:35 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:30 7:00 9:35 WINN-DIXIE (PG) Fri. Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 CONSTANTINE (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50 12:20 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50

MAD BLACK WOMAN (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 HITCH (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:20 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:20 7:00 9:30 MILLION DOLLAR BABY (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:50 SIDEWAYS (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:40 THE JACKET (R) Fri. & Sat. 7:45 10:00 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 7:45 10:00 PACIFIER (PG) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:15 2:00 3:20 4:30 5:25 7:00 7:40 9:10 9:50 11:20 12:00 Sat. 11:10 11:40 1:15 2:00 3:20 4:30 5:25 7:00 7:40 9:10 9:50 11:20 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 2:00 3:20 4:30 5:25 7:00 7:40 9:10 9:50 THE PASSION RE-CUT (NR) Fri. & Sat. 1:20 4:15 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 4:15 7:00 9:30 BRIDE & PREJUDICE (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:15 7:10 9:40 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:15 7:10 9:40 Showtimes for 3/18 thru 3/24

24 • b u z z w e e k l y

No one disputes that this one is for the kids.

in Diesel has made quite a name for himself in Hollywood. His movies may not be up for Oscars every year, but they load the theaters, and the plot usually moves like prune juice through an octogenarian. Unfortunately for families across America, The Pacifier is in need of a little Exlax, because this one is a little slow. Diesel plays Shane Wolf, a Navy SEAL that drops the ball on a black-ops mission overseas. The unfortunate victim of this blunder is Mr. Plummer, a government scientist downed in the foreign escapade. Mr. Plummer leaves behind a surprisingly unaffected wife (Faith Ford) to take care of his five children: a baby, a toddler, a smartass eight-year-old, a pubescent boy and a rebellious, teenage young lady. The crazy twist of fate is that, for some reason, Mr. Plummer left a missing piece of the mission puzzle somewhere at his house. However, no one knows what it is or where to find it, but the bad guys know it is there. In steps Diesel with orders to protect the kids while trying to redeem himself. The film wanders around and the beginning is particularly bizarre. The film really falls apart when Nanny Diesel takes over. Diesel is better acting with adults or

HOSTAGE DAVID JUST • STAFF WRITER

THostage, he title of Bruce Willis’ new film, is misleading. Hostages don’t drive

Hostage takes old scenes and spits them out the same way as they always were.

the narrative; rather, it is the captors and negotiators around which the film revolves. A more fitting title would have been The Negotiator, but that has been taken by a much better movie. The film is directed by Florent Siri, whose last two credits were for the Tom Clancy Splinter Cell video games. Siri often tries to stylize intimate moments in the film, but rather than emitting emotion, it falls flat and comes off as cheesy. Not to say that Siri isn’t a good director; those video games are really fun and superbly directed. Willis plays Jeff Talley, an overqualified police chief who previously served on S.W.A.T. teams and as a negotiator. The other main player is Walter Smith (Kevin Pollak). Smith is a rich accountant who lives comfortably in his mansion complete with a Cadillac Escalade, a DVD collection that spans the entire wall of his office and a security lockdown that covers every entrance and exit with steel bars. When some rowdy teenagers notice

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ANDREW CREWELL• STAFF WRITER

at least with people that he can punch in the face without drawing quite a bit of DCFS attention. His banter with the rascals isn't quite as snappy, and there is definitely a lack of on-screen chemistry with the family pet duck. The best part is Lauren Graham playing the principal. There is nothing par ticularly f ascinating about Miss Gilmore, other than her rather clingy outfits for a school worker. This is one aspect Diesel doesn't look uncomfortable acting around. The film’s greatest downfall may be what the kids love the most. The novelty of a highly trained THE PACIFIER • government weapon being used as babysitter is a little bothersome, especially when you see him holster a juice box and go Cole Trickle with the family minivan. The kids get a kick out of this stuff, but most of the sixth-grade-educated audience is lucky to get through these scenes without eating their own arms off. No one disputes that this one is for the kids. But Diesel didn't have to sacrifice his tough guy image to do it. Or did he? Arnold Schwarzenegger did it in Kindergarten Cop. Eddie Murphy has been doing it since Beverly Hills Cop II. Sylvester Stallone even made a cameo in a Spy Kids

VIN DIESEL

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Robots ($36.0M) The Pacifier ($18.2M) Be Cool ($10.3M) Hostage ($10.2M) Hitch ($8.8M) Million Dollar Baby ($5.2M) Diary of a Mad Black Woman ($4.9M)

8. Constantine ($3.8M) 9. Man of the House ($1.8M) 10. Cursed ($1.6M)

DVD SALES

movie! And they seem to be doing OK. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Stephen Seagal haven't ever made a movie that a 16-year-old could legally see. Who would be the favorite in an ass-kicking contest? Maybe if Diesel wanted to make one for the kids he just had to accept that his tough guy image would be toned down a notch. Maybe he didn't mind. With the money, women and political office his predecessors have pulled in, he probably couldn't wait for someone to walk into his agent’s office offering a multi-million-dollar Disney flick.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Ray Alien vs. Predator Half Baked Donnie Darko: The Director’s Cut My Architect The Notebook The Motorcycle Diaries Summer Catch The Incredibles Collateral

RENTALS Smith’s Escalade, they decide it’s time to participate in the same thing that every teenager knows and loves: grand theft auto.The three kids, two of them brothers Dennis and Kevin (Jonathan Tucker and Marshall Allman), and the third, their newly acquainted friend Mars (Ben Foster), gain entry to Smith’s property. Before they know it, Smith is unconscious, and his kids are held hostage.They involve themselves with the ludicrous act and never look back. To its credit, the film does not take the easy HOSTAGE • BRUCE WILLIS action-movie way out. Rather, the plot adds a twist to all of the the house, out of harm’s way. The direction of the action and chase characters. Smith stored important financial information on a DVD before the cri- sequences is tired and familiar. In fact, a sis began, which implicates some powerful chase scene in the air ducts of the house is higher-ups. Because his employers are eerily similar to a scene in James Cameron’s unable to reach him, they take matters into Aliens.There’s something a bit more frighttheir own hands. So, they kidnap Talley’s ening about aliens chasing Ripley through wife and daughter and hold them hostage those air ducts than a crazy teenager named Mars chasing children. until he recovers the DVD. Hostage takes old scenes, and instead of At this point, the film has the potential to be a solid action thriller. The pieces are making them feel new, spits them out the all in place. However, a poor script and same as they always were. Even casting Siri’s direction interfere. The dialogue is Willis as the negotiator/police chief is mostly mindless bantering among the becoming redundant.The opening credits teenagers about how to get out of the mess were the high point of Hostage, and the they started.Their plan: Get a helicopter to film always looks back. fly them and the $2 million they found in

MIRAMAX

THE PACIFIER

IF WE’RE NOT BACK BY DAWN, CALL THE PRESIDENT.

1. Flight of the Phoenix 2. Exorcist: The Beginning 3. The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie 4. The Notebook 5. Taxi 6. Ray 7. Saw 8. Shall We Dance? 9. Shark Tale 10. Friday Night Lights

Flight of the Phoenix earns this week’s top movie rental. Source: RottenTomatoes.com

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. . . CAUSE

YOU RULE!

seth fein

the local sniff

first things first

coulter

buzz weekly •

Saying goodbye to my youth

Proof reading a porn script

Gene Keady's wife scared me as a child

Don’t act like a monkey in a turd factory

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER.

et me just be frank for a moment. It was not easy growing up as a Purdue fan in Urbana. When I was a child and becoming interested in certain things, it was natural for me to associate with other kids who were likeminded. For me, it was sports. And my friends—every last one of them—were Illini fans. I was up against five, six, seven, ten guys daily at the lunch tables, arguing over the games and talking at volumes that weren't considered “inside voices.” If the Illini won the night before they'd talk it up the next day.And if the Illini beat Purdue, they would chant “Ov-er-ra-ted!” bang their hands on the table BAM BAM BAMBAMBAM! and again “Ov-er-ra-ted!” The only time I really yelled at a grade school teacher was in fifth grade. Mrs.Tucker (who taught me so much) was rubbing in an Illini victory nice and good. The conversation turned to bragging and that turned to raised Seth Fein is from voices. I swore to her that Urbana. He will not Purdue was gonna take sleep this weekend. 'em in two years. See, He will only watch Gene Keady, coach for College Basketball. He can be reached @ Purdue, had just recruited sethfein@hotmail.com Glenn Robinson, who went on to be the National Player of the Year in '94 and my dad promised me —he swore to me—that “this player is the one, son.This guy can take us to the top.” Needless to say, amongst the people, the music, the politics and the religion in my life —the important things—only one other thing stands amongst them: college basketball. At home, as a child, I played 64 team tournaments against myself on a small hoop in the “family” room over and over and over. I would pair up Kansas St. and UNLV,TCU and Iowa, Pepperdine and LSU, or Villanova and Vanderbilt. I learned the names and mascots of all the Division I teams( go ahead ask me the mascot for the University of Manhattan—just ask me), and I studied Dick Vitale's pre-season guides religiously (I can't stand that jackass to the day—but they were comprehensive as hell). I was a master at Double-Dribble on Nintendo. At school during recess, we acted out our favorite players on the courts. I even played Park District basketball, although being six inches shorter than everyone, I was never really effective. I'm an addict.There. I said it. I feel better. It's my dad's fault, really. As a child, all I heard about was Jesus, liberal politics and sports. Sure, there were other things but mainly those three. My father is a generally peaceful, calm-tempered man. His various s o u n d s

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social work has earned him accolades and awards throughout the state and even the nation. As a Christian pastor in town, he has effectively worked to help ease racial tensions in the church community and by founding the Eastern Illinois Foodbank, his commitment has helped serve hundreds of thousands of hungry people over the years. But nothing brings out the warrior in my dad the way that Purdue basketball does. I mean, it's ridiculous. There were times where my father would be pacing, back and forth in front of the screen, with unadulterated passion. Every pass, every shot, every rebound were scrutinized to the nth degree. He was as involved, in every sense of the word, as one can be from miles away, pleading at a screen. I can see him now in my head. When Purdue played Bobby Knight and the Indiana Hoosiers, during the great rivalry games of the eighties, the shit would really fly. Games were never easy, and the pride that was at stake on the court would vicariously work its way in my living room. Dad would stand up, roll his sweater up just the way Knight famously did and dance around like a monkey,“ooh-ooh” noises and all. On calls that Knight disagreed with or when Purdue started to pull away with the game, Dad would take off his glasses and run to the screen, hold them up to Knight's face and yell, “Wear the glasses Bobby! Wear the glasses! Look what's happening Bobby! Wear the glasses!” Me, my father and my brother were glued to the set.All of us, always on the edge of our seat, as if Reagan had his finger on the button and was seriously considering ending the Cold War once and for all.We were nuts. And I loved it. No doubt in my mind: my father made me who I am today. He was preaching and I had become the converted. Last Thursday, Gene Keady ended his tenure as head coach for the Purdue Boilermakers after 25 years.This was far and away his worst season at Purdue, posting a 721 record and failing to make the post-season in a last hurrah. But his record is not tarnished really at all. He leaves with a record of 505259 at Purdue. He was awarded an unprecedented National Coach of the Year three times in a row from 1994-1996, and a record seven times as Big Ten Coach of the Year, even more than Bobby Knight. I will miss his ugly mug out there on the court. He was the last of the great coaches in the Big Ten from my youth and while I am looking forward to seeing what his successor, Matt Painter, will be able to accomplish, there will always be a hint of sadness watching Boiler games with my dad. But no worries here, Purdue will go back to dominating the Big Ten in due time. We always have.

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I could tell you a big-ass

lie right off the top, but I might possibly feel bad about it later, so I’ll just be honest. I get all giddy this time of year. The NCAAs, baseball spring training, NBA Playoffs, the chance that the weather will possibly some day be warm enough for my testicles to come out of my stomach for a few days; it’s far too much for a simple man like myself to handle. I can’t concentrate for crap, so this is just going to be one of those rambling columns about the local issues affecting all of us or maybe just some of us. First off, I would like to say that the forums on openingbands.com are a pleasure to look through. Sometimes, it’s just a general discussion of a general topic and that’s just fine. Occasionally though, there are almostheated arguments that are very enlightening. Recently on the forum, there was some discussion about instituting no smoking policies in bars and restaurants in Champaign and Urbana. I did a column a few weeks ago so you know what I think about it, but if, for some weird reason, you would like to see what someone else might think, it makes for some good reading. I read through it and still wasn’t convinced by the fascists and their habit of enjoying telling other people what to do. My man, Seth Fein, gave every reasonable argument you could possibly need … but judge for yourself, I suppose … even though I’m sure I’m right … seriously. Another discussion on openingbands.com also makes for some fine reading. It concerns the 2005 Local Music Awards that will be held at The Highdive on April 7. I suppose I should say off the top that Ryan Ricker of WPGU and I will be emceeing this event, but that will in no way affect my objectivity, at least for this column. If you’d like to know more, go to www.cumusicawards.com. Some on the forum were voicing concerns about the flaws in competitions such as this, and I completely understand what they were saying. I freaking hate the Oscars, the Grammys and whatever other jackass awards that are on TV every year. I also understand the problems of judging something that is creative to begin with. In fact, I wouldn’t even care so much if no journalist in the world ever reviewed another movie, record album or book. Criticizing someone else’s deal instead of doing your own work is sort of sad in a way. That being said, I don’t think the Local Music Awards are really meant to be much

of a competition. More than anything, I think the spirit of the awards show was to bring attention to the fine local bands we have in the area and also the fine radio station that plays their songs and maybe get people to discuss both of them. My best advice is to view C-U’s best bands the same way you view a guy at the carnival in a “World’s Greatest Lover” t-shirt. Sure, he may think he’s the world’s greatest, but my guess is the jury will be out for a long time on such a claim. In other local news, The Michael Coulter Daily Illini reported on is a videographMonday that U of I law pro- er, comedian fessor Richard Painter will and can be be leaving the university to heard on WPGU become Chief Ethics 107.1 Thursdays Lawyer for President George at 5 with Ricker W. Bush. Man, I just went workin’ it. into joke overload there for a second. I’m all for local boys making it to the big time, but geez Louise. Ethics lawyer for George W. Bush, that’s like being a proof reader for a porn script. I bet his first job will be to scour the entire White House just to see if there are actually any ethics there to begin with. Of course, the biggest news that has our community as excited as a twelve-year-old at a dirty book store is our basketball team. The NCAA basketball tournament starts today, and our boys have a pretty good shot to go to the big dance and walk away with the big trophy. I gotta say, this year has been a pleasure to watch. I’ll be rooting for them every game, even though a few of my gambling brackets might not necessarily reflect this devotion. Hey, money’s money. I heard Coach Weber’s PSA thanking folks for their support and encouraging them to celebrate properly. That’s cool and absolutely warranted, a sort of nice way of saying “If we win it all, don’t act like a monkey in a turd factory.” I hear community leaders also might be considering some restrictions to make sure people don’t get out of hand. I’ve found that most people react about the way you expect them to react so if you make plans assuming they’ll act like idiots, that’s exactly what they’ll do. It seems sort of wrong to say “You’ve been great fans all season long, and we respect you, but we really don’t trust you when it comes to this, so just in case, we’re gonna overcompensate.” If, however, I get smacked in the head with a bottle, I retract the previous statement. So, that’s all I got. It wasn’t all that funny this week, but damn it, there’s ball games to watch. It’s gonna be so much fun.

“What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do—especially in other people's minds. When you're

traveling, you are what you

I went to one of those obedience places once...

it was all going well until they spilled

are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you.

hot candle wax on my private parts.

No yesterdays on the road.”

– BEST IN SHOW

~William Least Heat Moon • Blue Highways

How to make the best of your spring break vacation

MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

With the exception of London Planner By Susie An

f you had a free week to do whatever you wanted, what would you do? I’d spend my time traveling. There’s something adventurous about going to a new place without any of your usual comforts and familiarities and relying on your own intuition to get by. Through traveling, you experience new foods, sights, music and ways of life. And before you get back on the plane or car returning home, you can smile knowing well that you had a good time even though you and your travel buddies were ready to slit each other’s throats. There’s always a sense of well-being coming home with a suitcase of souvenirs, dirty laundry and stories about running into B-list celebrities. Travel tips:

London, home of the queen and our favorite British rockers. It’s an expensive town, but whether you’re going there this spring break or sometime in the future, you can still have a bloody good time without paying a royal price. Flights to London can be rather inexpensive if you plan accordingly in advance. A place to stay is no problem if you stay in one of the numerous hostels in the city. The Bayswater area near Hyde Park has a number of hostels for $30 or less per night and most include linens, breakfast and Internet. Sightseeing in London is very nice on your pockets. A walking tour doesn’t take much but your own legs and a map. Start with a stroll through the grandeur of Hyde Park and get lost in the vast gardens and charming storybook birds and geese. Pose for a picture in front of the park’s many statues and monuments. Take a look at Buckingham Palace and take the ever-so-original picture of the guards.Travel east and take snapshots of Westminster Abbey, the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben. Cross the River Thames where you can get a ticket to ride the Ferris wheel of the millennium, the London Eye. Further north, experience the hustle of Piccadilly Circus and reel around the fountain at Trafalgar Square. A museum you must see is Tate Modern. This factory turned art museum houses the best of surrealist to post-modernist art. The best part, it’s free to get in, like most of the other museums in London. If you want a good shopping experience, head to Camden’s weekend market, which offers everything from vintage clothing to fresh fruits. If you want to see hipsters, go to Soho. This little neighborhood near Piccadilly Circus is inhabited by a wealth of trendy shops, colorful restaurants and bars and funky haircuts. For a good listing of things currently going on in London while you are traveling, pick up a copy of Time Out London at any London newsstand. Cheers!

The Big Apple By Toccara Castleman New York is an expensive place to stay, but you can find affordable hotels that are within blocks of Times Square, Broadway, Carnegie Hall and Madison Square Garden. The Howard Johnson Inn at Penn Plaza is a tourist-class economy hotel that costs under $200 per night. It’s located just blocks away from Times Square and the world-famous Macy’s Department store.

Most of Robots is surprisingly dull and desperate to entertain.

Pennsylvania hotel also costs under $200 per night and is located across the street from Penn Station, which is convenient for those who plan to travel into the city by train. Pennsylvania is also across from Madison Square Garden, so if the New York Knicks are in town, you’ll be able to catch a game. While in New York, you can enjoy the bright lights of Times Square, which is still bursting with energy as late as 2 a.m. MTV studios is located along Times Square, and you can watch a live taping of the popular television show Total Request Live from across the street or arrive early enough before the show airs and be picked to be a part of the live studio audience. There are thousands of places to eat in New York, including the world’s largest TGI Fridays and numerous storefront restaurants in Greenwich Village. You should take advantage of New York’s 24hour public transportation system or hale a cab at any time of the day to get you to any of the restaurants or stores throughout the city.

the fresh, inventive The Incredibles, is it no longer possible to end a computer-animated movie without a big musical dance sequence? Shrek 2 did it, Shark Tale did it, and now Robots, the second feature from Blue Sky Studios (Ice Age), concludes with a similarly gratuitous song-and-dance routine. But don’t be worried that your heart has turned to steel if this unoriginal, though visually dazzling, piece of scrap metal doesn’t tickle your funny bone or get your toes tapping. Written by Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel (Where the Heart Is), Robots lays the machinery puns on pretty heavy but mostly rattles and grumbles without much comedic output. Within a couple minutes of the opening credits, we’re bombarded with endless equipment-based plays-on-words of varying cleverness, from “Auntie Freeze’s Ice Cream” to “Buns of Steel Bakery” to a bar called “The Rusty Nail.” It’s an entire civilization of robots, you see, and apparently all shop owners hope to be as witty as Hollywood screenwriters. One of those clankers is Rodney Copperbottom (Ewan McGregor), an idealistic young inventor who travels to the big, intimidating Robot City to earn money that his dad owes to his boss. He quickly forgets that mission, though, as he meets eccentric

C - U

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COMPILED BY SARAH KROHN

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Brett Salmon Evanville, In.

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Britney Jackson Evansville, In.

“My favorite robot was Amanda Bynes.”

Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

20TH CENTURY FOX

ROBOTS

SPRING BREAK TRAVEL TIPS

sidekicks—led by the obnoxious, attention-starved Fender (Robin Williams)—and leads a revolt against Ratchet (Greg Kinnear), an evil robot who has usurped Big Weld industries from its namesake (Mel Brooks) and changed the slogan from “You can shine no matter what parts you’re made of ” to “Why be you when you can be new?” The little-fish-trying-tomake-it-in-a-big-pond archetype was explored in a very similar way in Shark Tale, and Robots does it no better. Its ROBOTS • A. BYNES, R. WILLIAMS, E. MCGREGOR, & H. WILLIAMS gears grind and clatter as its thin shreds of a plot leak oil throughout what attempts to compensate for the lack of an feels like much more than an hour and a half. intelligent script or any memorable characters. In fact, it might be a more fruitful experience The highlight is Robot City’s incredibly comto bring music to the theater and watch the plex public transportation system, which is eye-popping sights as you listen to a mood- like a high-tech, futuristic version of “Mouse matching, post-modern electronic album.The Trap” that would make even the strongest film also doesn’t think much of its fembots; stomach queasy. The film wants to weld together themes every woman is either an angry old wench, an innocent schoolgirl with a crush or a house- about the value of acceptance, creativity and wife easily pushed to the side when the tin being true to yourself, and it nearly touches on a nice social commentary about the way hits the fan. As in Moulin Rouge and Big Fish, that advertising seeks to make consumers feel McGregor plays a wide-eyed, naive dreamer, insecure. But, like Williams and Fender, most a part that must be rusting over for an actor of Robots is surprisingly dull and desperate to who has exhibited such range from entertain, including several jokes that don’t Trainspotting to Black Hawk Down. Williams even make sense in a robot society. (Seriously, also is cast in an all-too-familiar part, voicing metal detectors just aren’t practical.) The tranFender like an even more hyperactive, sitions are choppy, an extended farting Ritalin-deficient version of Aladdin’s Genie. sequence is downright despicable, and for all This guy, and his characters, desperately need its attempts to look like an animated-film upgrade, structurally, Robots never really tries to switch to decaf. Luckily, Robots is filled with spectacular to rage against the machine. animation, as director Chris Wedge (Ice Age)

Movie legend and salad dressing activist Paul Newman, who turned 80 years old in Januar y, has announced that he plans to retire from acting as well as his other passion, motor racing. The blue-eyed star, who has racked up 10 Oscar nominations, one win and an honorar y Oscar in his 50-plus-year career, said he wants to spend more time with his wife, Oscar-winner Joanne Woodward. On a positive note, Pauly Shore, who racked up four Razzie Awards, including a nomination for Worst Actor of the Centur y, during his seven-year career, is still light years away from a comeback. Attention Star Wars fans. Word has it that the third installment of George Lucas’ recent high-tech trilogy (i.e. reckless, unprotected CGI orgy) will be quite a downer as Anakin Skywalker takes his expected transformation into the evil Darth Vader. The movie will be so dark and violent that it may not garner a PG rating like ever y other Star Wars film has. Instead, it may receive a rating of—get this—PG-13. I know, I know. I ran into the streets screaming and bawling and flailing my arms too. Lucas describes this final installment as a “tragedy,” which, ironically, is how the rest of the world describes Episodes I and II.

Sideways writer and director Alexander Payne and his wife of two years, Sandra Oh, who co-starred in the Oscar-winning film, have decided to separate. Since this appears to be a ver y mutual decision with no scandal attached, I’m going to propose three possible reasons for the break-up. 1) Oh was pissed she didn’t get a single nomination from any awards group while the rest of the Sideways cast reaped accolades left and right. 2) Payne, overjoyed with winning a screenwriting Oscar, named his golden statuette Not Sandra and insisted it ride shotgun ever ywhere. 3) Bubble wands.

MA R . 17

food review

CARLY FISHER • STAFF WRITER

is located at 48 E Springfield Ave., Champaign

Me, myself & microwave Due

to an overwhelming stack of work and my general anti-social, lazy behavior, I decided to stay in Friday night with a microwave dinner. Motivated partially by curiosity, partially by lust for the cheese connoisseur, I hitched a ride to Euro Mart in hopes of finding an entree of gourmet quality but frugal price. Unable to decide amongst the overwhelming variety of tantalizing choices in the freezer case, I closed my eyes and stuck my hand in. I ended up with Deep Foods’ baingan bharta, a self-proclaimed, “vegetarian delight,” consisting of roasted eggplant, tomatoes, onions, peas, garlic and blended spices. Having only $5 in my wallet, I was pleased that it only cost $4.50. My stomach, eating itself at this point, convinced me to skip the congenial small talk at the register and hurry home. As expected, I had little trouble preparing the frozen entree. Poked some holes, stirred a bit, nuked it a

While you’re sightseeing, don’t forget to check out the New York club scene. For those of us that are under 21,Vinyl nightclub offers a variety of music and dancing. If you’re legal, you can head over to the Coyote Ugly Saloon, which was the inspiration for the feature film. It’s known for its unique and high-energy environment. And, yes, female bartenders actually dance on the tabletops while serving drinks to a rowdy crowd. The adrenaline rush that you’ll get from the excitement in the City that Never Sleeps will be sure to keep you warm.

Euro Mart

little more, stirred again—-within minutes I had a delicious meal all for myself thanks to the conveniences of modern appliances. It smelled wonderful, but I was a bit surprised at the texture of the baingan bharta. Unlike the image on the box, which portrayed a consistency similar to a thick stew, the actual item exemplified the stereotypical microwave dinner with a soupy, semi-disappointing appearance. Maybe if it had been presented on a gold platter garnished with saffron and parsley, instead of a generic plastic box, it would resemble the display.Who knows? Fortunately, my room was dark and comfortless enough that aesthetics seemed less important than immediate compensation for my emotional unavailability. Keeping an open mind because I had no other dining options for the evening, I set a place for myself at my desk, facing an institutional-white concrete wall, and allowed myself to indulge a little.

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Let me tell you, had I not been confined to the limited space between my sturdy desk and chair, it’s highly possible that I would have lost my balance and fallen to the ground. Never have I been so impressed by a frozen dinner! Was the perfect combination of coriander, ginger, salt, garlic and turmeric a result of the delicate, loving care of the New Jersey manufacturer? Or was it a stroke of luck? Either way, I was sold. I spent the next 15 or 20 minutes in sheer heaven, savoring every morsel that came into my mouth. This was definitely a couple steps up from my usual favorites of Michelina’s chili mac and Uncle Ben’s rice bowls.The marinated vegetables and distinctive blended spices created a zesty flavor similar to local Indian cuisine. Granted, it was still of microwave dinner quality but surprisingly unique and appetizing. The meal was more than anything I could have asked for. It exceeded my expectations from the advertised description of a “vegetarian delight.” I enjoyed it so much that I began ravenously licking the plastic container until every drop of sauce coated my tongue. My face was covered with the remnants of my meal, my stomach was full, and my room smelled a little bit, but I was elated. I felt a little embarrassed afterwards for this pathetic moment of uncontrollable gratification, but then again, I was alone so I guess it really doesn’t matter. Baingan bharta is an excellent option for anyone with dietary or monetary restrictions. Satisfying a lowcalorie, low-fat, low-carb or vegetarian diet, this salubrious entree allows neurotic health-nuts to free themselves from a night of hard work in the kitchen and pretend to be lazy like other Americans. Although it is suggested on the box that the meal would be better complemented with naan bread or rice pilaf, I felt the robust flavors were enjoyable on their own—much like myself. However, if you happen to have a romantic microwave dinner date, you can easily share the meal as the serving size is for two. Also, at the price of $4.50 a box (which tends to go on sale from time to time), you really can’t go wrong. Dietary restriction or not, the baingan bharta is a bangin’ buy worth a try. Are you interested in being featured in an exclusive newspaper article? Are you lonely and in search of a dinner date? Consider accompanying Carly Fisher on her next food review! Send inquiries to dinnerwithcarly@gmail.com

buzz weekly •

TO TRAVEL IS TO DISCOVER THAT EVERYONE IS WRONG ABOUT OTHER COUNTRIES.

Traveling Out West By Tim Peters

Rockies rise up like towering, dark thunderheads. Denver, the state’s largest city and capital, has the predictable but enjoyable features of an American metropolis. There are some major music venues like the Fillmore and (if it were summertime) Redrocks. Beyond that scene, there are art museums, restaurants and “gaming” casinos. The key is to keep moving, and Boulder is a central destination. If you happen to know any friends at University of Colorado-Boulder, this is a great time to solicit some free lodging. Close by are Roosevelt National Forest and Rocky Mountain National Park. Both offer beautiful, natural surroundings and opportunities for hiking, camping, backpacking, climbing, and, if exposure is not your thing, scenic drives. If you have some extra cash, then skiing or snowboarding in Breckenridge, Aspen,Vail or Telluride should be the next stop. Skim over the powder, and snake through the pines all day long, then, once the sun sets, if you are so inclined, relax with friends or throw down a party with other spring breakers. Do not plan too much in advance. Bring maps, food, cell phones, camping gear and, as always, comfortable shoes. Let instinct and impulse pull you to whichever destination feels right. While Colorado might not have sandy beaches and exposed flesh, it is still a heady crossroads of ruggedness and natural wonders.

Road Trip South

While, as if by migratory instincts, many college students head to the nearest beaches and southern latitudes for spring break, taking a trip inland to the Rocky Mountains and Colorado has huge potential for an unbelievable experience. To stay on the move here, the ideal transportation is a car. There are so many unique towns and places to see that mobility is a necessity. Plus, traveling west with friends just has a timeless allure. After being bored for hours by the flat plains, the

By Jennifer Crabill Road trips are a blast. Some of the best stories come from the ride to and from. But the key to a successful drive is preparation. I am driving to Panama City, Fla., with three friends. That is three friends, one car, 15 hours. If you don’t know one of your fellow spring breakers very well, you will. If you think you could never get annoyed with your bestest

friend in the whole world, you can. First and foremost, be ready to dish out a large portion of your budget on gas money.Also, keep a close eye on whoever is driving. Hit them if they seem sleepy or even offer to drive. A few necessities to bring along in the car include jumper cables, a pillow, a first-aid kit, a flashlight, your cell phone charger and a MAP, though I am a fan of asking gas station attendants for directions. Make sure your iPod is close at hand.You know when someone is talking to you and you frequently nod or say “yeah” to make it seem as if you are listening? Or maybe there is an awkward silence looming about in the car. Put on headphones. Problem solved. Take someone’s car who isn’t too particular about cleanliness. I guarantee a collection of fast food bags, straw wrappers, crumbs, etc. will eventually gather by the end of the trip. As much as these useful tips may help, complications are bound to arise when you are driving 15 hours with your closest friends. Think of them as adventures, and get ready for one exciting road trip! buzz

q+a L & L Travel, located on Sixth Street in Champaign, has served the community for eight years and has prided itself in personalized attention and service. Travel agent Julie Halberstadt works to help others make travel plans without a hassle.

stadt r e b l a H Jul ie

What are your daily job responsibilities?

I book flight reservations, car reservations, tours, hotels, spring break trips or whatever may come up!

PHOTO • JULIE HALBERSTADT

all by myself

M A R . 2 3 , 2 OO5

•

How did you get into the travel agency business?

I knew a woman who had just opened a travel agency, and I was the first person she hired. I was trained on the job. This was before travel agencies in this town were computerized. Where is the best place you’ve traveled to?

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Q. HOW DO YOU MAKE HOLY WATER? A. BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT.

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The best place Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve traveled to was probably Italy. It was awesome! Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a beautiful country with friendly people, wonderful food, and of course, great wine. And the shopping is not bad, either. Where would you recommend students go to vacation for spring break?

I recommend that students go on vacation with their parents. But if they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to do that, then I would say they should go to Cancun. That destination has become very popular. Jamaica is also a great destination, and Florida remains a popular and affordable spot for spring breakers. What is the most odd or outrageous vacation youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve planned for someone?

I cannot think of a trip that I have planned that is outrageous. I did, however, have a couple that could not agree on a destination. The husband would come in and tell me to book Jamaica.Then the wife would come in and tell me to cancel those plans and book the trip to the Bahamas.The husband returned and told me to cancel the

plans to the Bahamas and to book the trip for Jamaica. This went on for a while untilâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;you guessed itâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the wife won! Do you have any funny stories about travel mishaps?

When I first started in the travel agency business, a gentleman asked me to book him a trip to Rochester. So, I booked him to Rochester, N.Y. He had, however, meant Rochester, Minn. He was on a flight from here to Chicago, and he struck up a conversation with another gentleman. My client asked the man where he was going, and the man said New York. My client said he was going to Minnesota. When my client boarded his next flight in Chicago, the same man was on the plane. He saw him and was able to get back off the flight and get on the correct one to Minnesota. This was before all the security at the airports.Today that could never happen.

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PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN JENNINGS

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ly interested particularly in how pop culture has become our culture.â&#x20AC;? Jenningsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; pop culture references can been seen throughout The Holeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;from Nine Inch Nails t-shirts to his heroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own Green Lantern shirt with his Punisher-like teeth ready to tear through.This pop art vocabulary syncs well with Jenningsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; original art styleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a combination of manual and computer-aided methods. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a combination of hand-done work,â&#x20AC;? he explains.â&#x20AC;&#x153;Basically, each (page) is done on an 11 by 17 inch size, and then itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sketched out, and I use a watercolor wash to give highlights and that kind of thing. The inking and the coloring is all done in digital. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no traditional inking. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no traditional coloring.â&#x20AC;? Achieving a comfortable pairing of process and pace where he could churn out pages from The Hole quickly enough to produce a full-length work over a summer took numerous attempts with much trial and error. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This came from a lot of experimentation,â&#x20AC;? he chuckles. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It took me almost two years to get to the point where one of these pages takes an hour. But I had to go through a lot of steps to get to that point. Actually, that process has led me to other design processes. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been through a lot of different types of work.â&#x20AC;? Getting his book on comic book store shelves took Jennings to a Web site called Lulu.com that prints books on demand so that he was able to distribute the graphic novel to area comic book stores. Available in both smaller black and white copies as well as a larger full color printings, the site also provides a preview and option to order directly from the publisher at http://www.lulu.com/content/78830. His final product fits nicely among the vigilantes and superheroes who inspired it, giving the Hole his own space within the gallery of mutants and metahumans who proceeded him. buzz

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MA R . 17 Remember,

information is not knowledge; knowledge is not wisdom; wisdom is not truth; truth is not beauty; beauty is not love; music is the best. love is not music;

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Edward Moses

RACHEL’S MEETS SITI AT THE KRANNERT CENTER

PHOTO COURTESY OF RACHEL’S

e’ve created a monster!” says Rachel’s pianist Rachel Grimes, feigning disbelief.“We didn’t realize we’d be making such a big-scale thing. It’s the biggest production that Rachel’s has ever been involved in.” Grimes, phoning from Michigan, immediately undercuts her claim with a chuckle, but she’s right: Systems/Layers, the traveling theatrical piece that the Louisville band has created with New York’s Saratoga International Theater Institute (SITI) Company, is something of a behemoth. Drawing on the talents of 18 players, the piece combines film, spoken word, dance, lighting and, of course, music into what the pianist describes as a 70minute “flowing” work. According to Grimes, the band’s basic aesthetic—instrumental music with a film backdrop, provided by projectionist Greg King—was essentially built to support a project of this type, if not necessarily this magnitude. “All of us are really open to improv and writing together, and that’s the common denominator,” she says, noting that the band’s 1996 album, Music For Egon Schiele, was also given theatrical treatment. “We all bring different interests from art or film into it. Our lives are so filled with inspiration, like film and art and poetry, that we can’t really leave it out. We’ve just made it part of what we’re doing.” Grimes and her Rachel’s cohorts multimedia-inclusive attitude is reflected in their collaboration with the similarly-minded, experimental SITI Company. Formed in

major upheaval in the 13-year-old theater track (also called Systems/Layers) on group: Systems/Layers was the first SITI Quarterstick in 2003, a year before the piece production directed by someone other first showed up in a live setting, actual perthan the company’s founder, Anne Bogart. formances have been limited: Krannert’s host“I don’t really have directorial aspira- ing of the piece is,in fact,the only time the two tions,” O’Hanlon says almost penitently. “I groups plan on performing it this year, with had the strongest feeling about where only three performance at the University of this thing should go, so I just took Utah preceding it.Both Grimes and O’Hanlon over the reins. In a chalk this developvery practical way, I ment up to the simple Our lives are so just wanted to creexpense involved ate dances to with making filled with inspiraRachel’s music.” Systems/Layers run. tion, like film and “[Bogar t] was “In terms of ready for that to shopping it around, art and poetry, happen,” Gr imes it’s a very big that we can’t really says. “Barney knows piece,” O’Hanlon more of the choresays. “There’s eight leave it out. We’ve ography end of it, so actors and we’re all it seemed like the union members. just made it part of right way to go.” There’s musicians. what we do. Modest ambiThe number of tions aside, what the bodies makes it rachel grimes • pianist groups’ collaboraexpensive—only a tion eventually big venue can became was something broader and more afford it.” thematic than originally intended. Melding Grimes is less discreet about the probthe SITI Company’s New York roots with a lem. “If you know anything about theater shared catholic sensibility, the piece crystal- budgets and arts funding in the United lized into a patient meditation on the beau- States, you know it’s up shit creek right ty of urban living. now,” she says flatly. “Even universities are “It’s essentially about people living in an having to make very conservative choices urban environment and just going through about things to bring in. Most theaters are their day,” he says. “We were all exploring picking theater that is less expensive to interior and exterior environments, like out- them but still exciting. Without really side on the street or inside a cafe. How do intending to, we’ve created a pretty you express that without a set? How can you expensive production that requires a techdo that with just the music and the bodies? nologically fixed room like the Krannert And then there’s the body, what you show in Center. There’s only so many performing public and what’s really going on inside.” arts centers in the country that really fit While Rachel’s actually released the sound- that bill, and then there’s the problem of getting the show. The Krannert Center was wonderful to step out and say that they wanted to program it into their schedule. We’re grateful.” Though actual performances of the piece remain few and far between, both Grimes and O’Hanlon remain enthusiastic about Systems/Layers as a fully formed “multi-level experience.” “Ultimately, what I think Rachel’s—and all of us—want is for the audience to leave the theater and start looking around at the environment they’re in everyday,” O’Hanlon says. “All that’s beautiful and artistic about it, how beautiful something that’s simple or mundane can be. buzz

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BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

PHOTOS • SARAH KROHN

“

1992 with hopes of stimulating American theater by integrating influences from other cultures, the group has long kept its projects forward-thinking in scope. Appropriately, Systems/Layers began germinating when the band’s demographic-shunning blend of the classical and the popular found its way into the ears of SITI collaborator and choreographer Barney O’Hanlon. He considered the band a kindred spirit. “We discovered their music just like anyone else,” he says. “[SITI] is kind of in the same boat as Rachel’s. We do opera, we do just straight-up plays, and we generate our own pieces.” O’Hanlon began to incorporate the band’s recorded music into various performances and classes he taught, with other SITI teachers soon following suit. The fascination eventually lead the choreographer, touring through Louisville, to invite Rachel’s into one of the group’s improvisational practice sessions. It was a revelatory experience for both camps. “They jammed with us—they improvised, and we improvised,” O’Hanlon says. “It was an incredible match. It was like finding a lost love.” “We really hit it off and realized that we really enjoyed being in the same room together,” Grimes says. “It became kind of apparent that we wanted to make a piece together. We weren’t sure we were creating a piece together immediately, but we knew we liked the work of the other group.” Buoyed by the success of their off-hand improv sessions, Rachel’s and the SITI Company eventually took to writing a dance piece, something neither had previously attempted. The movement into dance involved, among other things, some

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ar tist’s corner

- Frank Zappa

JOE MARTIN • STAFF WRITER

buzz weekly

YOU THINK I’M HOT DON’T YOU? WELL, I’M NOT AS HOT AS HELL.

Moses performs spoken word locally.

Edward Moses is a master of casual conversation, which will strike you within a minute of meeting him. Stop by The Highdive or Allen Hall when he happens to be performing, and you will notice just how skilled he is with the English language. Moses, a junior in journalism at the University of Illinois, hails from Chicago but bears a familiar smile for those who attend area slams and open mic nights. AMS—as he is known on stage—has recently been picked up by Green Street Records and will soon be expanding further into recorded performance.

Why do you do spoken word?

Because standard poetry is boring. I grew up on Shakespeare. My dad had books of sonnets for me, and then my mom set stuff Langston Hughes, Maya Angelou, or Gwendolyn Brooks, or all this other stuff down in front of me. I read it in the same style I read Shakespeare, and my mom took me to hear some of these people speak. I’d heard spoken word like the Last Poets. I never knew my dad had vinyl like this. I used to ask him who were the first rap artists, and he said, “The Last Poets.”And I thought to myself, “That’s a real oxymoron.”And then I listened to them, and I was like, “Man this is where it came from.”I realized how much differently poetry could sound if you just took a different approach to it. So, you know, it’s that different approach that drives me. Do you ever collaborate with anybody?

Back home, like a select group of people. I’ve gotten a chance to know some of Chicago’s best poets like Tara Betts, Kevin Cole, Ai DeLeone. And I’ve gotten a chance to meet some people who have won high school slams. One of my friends who used to do hip-hop— Alistair Slaughter—is one of the best poets in Chicago, Ill. Having a chance to work with them or even sit down in a writing sessions with them has been beneficial. But for absolutely solid collaborations, not so much. It’s been maybe one or two. What do you try to communicate first and foremost when go up to do a slam? What do you have in mind?

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What goes into a successful slam attempt?

Emotion, emotion, emotion. Personally, when I can feel my hands shaking after I walk off from reading a poem, it’s successful. Some people call me very spastic when I slam or very manic with my emotions when at certain lines I can go from being deadly serious to throwing a light-hearted smile in there somewhere, or throwing a different voice in there, or impersonating people who are important to me who have voices or enormous influences.That’s a successful slam to me.You can look into that one person’s eyes in the audience and see they’ve hung on one line. They may not have been paying attention before; they’re there on their cell phone or whatever. It’s like, “I didn’t

Artist Edward Moses writes down his thoughts in the form of poetry and music.

First and foremost, “Why are we up here? I’m so nervous.”Second, I want to expand people’s minds as to what words can encompass or how powerful words can be. That’s why I love alliteration so much.You can take one letter and expand it nonsensically for years but if you can make it coherent, it’s so much more powerful because people are hanging on every syllable. I love the fact that words can drive people, can convey emotion, and I love the fact that you can build upon it. To liken it to a childhood favorite, it’s like Legos. And once you start compounding it and you get a good groove, then it will not

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stop. It will keep going. It will be driven further and further for more poetical devices, more metaphors, more similes, more this, that, and the other.

expect to hear that.”That’s another thing I like about slam poetry; because you’re saying it with force and emotion, you can get people’s attentions who weren’t necessarily there before. Live or recorded: performing better?

Which

you

Live. I think they both have their benefits. Live because musically you know to put so much more into it. There’s always the love for improvisation. And recorded because you can put emotion into it, but you can bottle it.

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buzz weekly

The Digging Barbarians

HI CAROL. I RAN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY. ^___^

exhibit

MA R . 17

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Best Rock Band

PHOTOS • SARAH KROHN

Varouis buckles, a spoon and a medical probe are part of the Digging Barbarians exhibit that is on display at Spurlock from March 8th to July 30th.

ast daunting grey marble statutes, in a well-lit corner, rusty weapons and dark bronze buckles sit on small steps covered with purple fabric.At first glance, one would not realize just how many centuries these decaying objects have survived. From ancient graveyards stumbled upon over a century ago, to an antique shop in Paris, to university storage for 80 years, the collection of artifacts is small, but some pieces are over 1500 years old. The Digging Barbarians exhibit, which opened on March 8 in Spurlock Museum’s Gallery of European Cultures, explores mixed Roman and barbaric cultures. The exhibit focuses on Merovingian dynasty in the Dark Ages.The Merovingian people were a Germanic culture that moved into what is now modern-day France during the 4-6th century C.E. In the beginning, the “barbarians” lived with Romans in the area and were under Roman rule. However, Clovis, a barbarian warlord, ended this domination by defeating the Roman army at Soissons around 500 C.E. Clovis was the first Merovingian king, a man considered to be the founder of the French monarchy. It is this time period where “barbarians” and Romans mingled together, creating a unique culture that is shown in the artifacts on display. According to Spurlock Museum’s

Education and Volunteer Coordinator Beth Watkins, “If we were French, we would know all about these people.” She compared it to the colonial period in American history—a time that all U.S. students know the basics of. “It’s not a topic that grabs people,” said Watkins.“I hope people will get interested.” In the back right corner, there are streams of light cascading on two glass enclosures with an assortment of objects arranged on a purple background. These two clear boxes separate the people of the 21st century peering in and a culture of the Dark Ages embodied by brown and green artifacts that were once part of ancient tombs. Signs around the exhibit explain the origins of the artifacts and their significance. Auguste Moutié bought the land in 1830s France where workers had excavated graves in a quarry near Paris. He continued to explore the graves and discovered that the remains were Merovingian. Then, in 1924, E. C., Hayes, a University of Illinois professor visiting Paris, bought a collection of artifacts for the Museum of European Culture in Urbana. Some of the collection proved to be Moutié’s findings and makes up the Digging Barbarians display. In the two cases is an array of objects found in the graves.There are several worn weapons, including rusted swords, spear points and battle axes. Roman coins and pottery were also dug up. The coins depict

two emperors Valentinian I and II who ruled from the mid 4th–5th century. One of the pots features animals carved around the edge. One of the graves excavated was a woman’s and included beads, a bronze key, hairpin and shoe buckle. Many buckle pieces with decorative filigree in the dark green-tinged metal and fibulae, which were Roman pins used to hold together pieces of cloth, were found in the burial places. Kevin Donovan and Nicole Tranel visited Spurlock for an architecture assignment, but also saw the Digging Barbarians display. Donovan said he liked that the items were not reproductions. “To see something that is authentic is great,” he commented. “It’s crazy to know what this university has that nobody would ever know about,” said Tranel when she found out the artifacts were owned by the university. The exhibit coincides with the Conference on Shifting Frontiers in Late Antiquity, which occurs March 17-20. Watkins explained that Spurlock was notified by the conference organizers to put the pieces together, knowing that there would be an audience in town attracted to the subject. “The conference and exhibit, we hope, will not only provide the scholarly and popular worlds with greater insights on the interactions between Romans and barbarians but also will show that the University of Illinois is playing a leading role in giving

WPGU/BUZZ LOCAL MUSIC AWARDS NOMINEES

Spurlock Museum Event

WPGU-FM and Buzz are presenting the first ever Local Music Awards to highlight our outstanding local artists. A committee of local music experts has nominated musicians in seven different categories. Anyone can vote for their favorites at cumusicawards.com.The ceremony, featuring live performances, will occur April 7 at the Highdive. This week, Buzz is highlighting the nominees in three different categories. Read Buzz and listen to WPGU for more information.

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

buzz weekly •

HOLY CRIP, HE’S A CRAPPLE!

greater visibility to the impact played by barbarians in general and the Merovingians in particular in the creation of medieval and modern culture,”explained University of Illinois history professor Ralph Mathisen, co-coordinator of the conference. “The beauty of the artifacts themselves, a sense of ‘barbarian chic’ and the later Roman and early medieval ‘strategies of distinction’ that led to the furnished burials from which the objects were recovered…a glimpse into early medieval life, be it violence, finery for horse and man (phalerae and belts), money…A glimpse at the French before France,”said Professor Danuta Shanzer, the other conference organizer, listing the exhibit’s importance. Digging Barbarians will be on display at the Spurlock Museum during its regular hours until July 30th. Admission is free.

HEADLIGHTS Headlights play hard and fast with the rules of dream pop. Stellar pop melodies take a warm bubble bath with narcotic keyboards and blissed-out guitar.The trio of Tristan Wraight, Erin Fein and Brett Sanderson recently released their debut EP on Polyvinyl’s Mail-order Series and has been involved in the C-U music scene for quite some time as members of Absinthe Blind and Orphans. As their recent live shows will attest the band may have finally found the perfect Zen-like balance between anthemic pop and shimmering, engrossing atmospherics.

AMERICAN MINOR American Minor, Rob McCutcheon (vocals), Bud Carroll (guitars), Josh Gragg (guitars), Bruno (bass) and Josh Knox (drums), play some serious-ass rock the way it was meant to be played. Pitched somewhere between the stomping, hard rock of Humble Pie, the southern boogie of the Black Crowes and the everyman anthems of The Faces, these guys mean it, and they are not afraid to solo.The band’s debut EP for Jive Records, Buffalo Creek, is out now, and they are currently finishing up recording on their first full-length for Jive due out this year.

THE LIVING BLUE The Living Blue have a tendency to pulverize your puny expectations of what garage rock is. Subverting their ’60s-influenced, fuzzed-out shimmy with unconventional song structures and a dark, menacing undertone, not to mention a vicious live show, The Living Blue (previously known as The Blackouts) are quite the staple of the C-U scene. The quartet recently released their sophomore album Living in Blue on Lucid last year and are currently heading back into the studio with C-U producer Adam Schmidt to record their latest LP for Minty Fresh Records.

TRIPLE WHIP The sparseness of Triple Whip’s melodies is matched only by the power of their rhythm section.After Brett Sanderson’s departure from the group, Josh Birky took over drumming duties to ride alongside Holly Rushakoff ’s thunderous basslines. Santanu Rahman is responsible for the Triple Whip melody, using lyrics inspired by B-movies and guitar riffs chosen explicitly for their dissonance and dissimilarity to classic rock chord progressions. Triple Whip lays down heavy grooves while managing to remain minimalist at the same time.

Best Roots/ Americana Band BEAUTY SHOP

The Beauty Shop play roots rock for the thinking man. Jon Hoeffleur’s clever ruminations on love and heartbreak and Ariane Peralta’s catchy, fluid bass work are the only common denominators in a setlist that ranges from raucous, urban honky-tonk to noirish, Leonard Cohen-esque ballads.And damned if it isn’t catchy.Their debut album Yr Money or Yr Life was released by Parasol Records and their latest, Crisis Helpline, was released in the United Kingdom by Shoeshine Records.

elsinore

Formerly the house band at the White Horse Inn, Charleston natives elsinore play originals and a healthy smattering of covers during their live shows. Influenced by such bands as Radiohead, Ryan Adams, Elton John and Ben Folds, songwriter Ryan Groff channels all these along with his music composition studies at Eastern Illinois University to create technically diverse melodies. While they no longer have a Champaign residency, elsinore continues to maintain a strong presence in C-U, which allows them to be a part of the music scene here.

GREEN MOUNTAIN GRASS

No style of music is invoked more quickly than bluegrass when discussing Americana. Thematically diverse and instrumentally challenging, bluegrass can keep toes tapping and couples two-stepping with the first pick of the banjo and pull of the fiddle bow. In Champaign–Urbana, no one does bluegrass better than Green Mountain Grass. Formerly of the Horny Fornicating Panzies, Spencer Savoie leads GMG with his banjo plucking and original melodies, while other exmembers of the psychedelic, and now-defunct Panzies round out the group, moving swiftly from cover to originals as quickly as the crowd can shout them out.

TRACTOR KINGS

Jake Flieschli’s Tractor Kings redefine the alt-country moniker every time some misguided music writer decides to slap it on this Champaign outfit. Bob Dylan is a definite influence, but darker elements are pervasive in the Tractor Kings deliberate, murky undertones. There are pop sensibilities inherent in Tractor Kings’ composition, but Fleischli takes great care to deconstruct and reinvent that which was once easily accessible. There are no easy answers when it comes to this band, which make them one of the most interesting to follow in town.

KILBORN ALLEY

Kilborn Alley (a play on the old joke of naming your band after the street you live on) is the sort of blues band that makes rockers look bad. Harp and guitars, originals and covers, they can do it all. Playing many gigs around town has made the band stronger than ever.

Best Hip-Hop Band ANIMATE OBJECTS

Two visitors of the Spurlock Museum study artifacts from the Digging Barbarians exhibit, part of the Museum’s Gallery of European Cultures.

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Animate Objects swiped the spotlight in UrbanaChampaign’s live hip-hop scene with their funk-rock-

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rap mix, much like the Dream Team did in Olympic basketball back in the day. The original members, Czar Absolute, DJ Spinnerty, Zirafa, A-dub, Pras and Steve, were already acclaimed artists around town when they formed to compete in Triangle Fraternity’s annual Battle of the Bands. It’s arguable that they took the whole live band scene by storm when they won first place after only three practices together. The band continues to rock shows in Champaign-Urbana and Chicago with new members, DJ Naboo, Brian and Wunder.

MELODIC SCRIBES

Though each member is originally from out of town, DJ MarMar,Wuk and Pinan made a strong enough presence in the local music and party scene to call UrbanaChampaign the Melodic Scribes’ home. Their eclectic mix of moody, boom-bap, thought tracks, various collaborations and energetic live shows made them a unique spectacle. As members graduated from the University of Illinois, the group left C-U with Se Formo, a full-length album showcasing their witty lyricism and suave beatsmithing, which also included a track paying tribute to Champaign-Urbana. The Scribes continue to make music with new member Anti-Matter Bonecrusher and honorary Scribe, Ro Knew.

BRAIN HOUSING GROUP

Brain Housing Group is the featured team of artists signed to the minds behind the head-turning, gossip-stirring “Hip-Hop Rots Your Brain” billboards. MCs Kalizion, Jus Cause and Jygsau represent ChampaignUrbana not only on the college campus but also within the community with their gritty beats and raw lyrics. With a album release party to be remembered, a slew of upcoming shows and a follow-up album already in the works, this crew is definitely one the hardest hustlers in the local scene.

KRUKID

The Champaign music scene has recently acquired KRUKID—one of Uganda’s most popular hip-hop artists. KRUKID now holds the number one most downloaded song on www.musicuganda.com. He also won Chicago’s Pass the Mic MC contest in 2004. From the depths of Uganda, East Africa comes a culture’s most lyrically deadly up-and-coming artist. An avid hip-hop fan himself, KRUKID, aka Edwin Ruyonga, was baptized into the Champaign scene when he saw his first hip-hop show at the Canopy club in 2003. Czar from Animate Objects was performing, and toward the end of their set they let him spit a couple of bars. He recently opened for Brain Housing and won the battle for Midwest Illest at Nargile. KRUKID will be playing with Treologic, Friday, April 29, at Nargile.

THE AGENDA

Founded in October 2003 by former Public Enemy affiliate Akdamo (formerly Prince Akeem), The Agenda is a six-man rap regime from the Champaign-Urbana area.Akdamo built his supercrew through recruitment at Premo Records weeklyemcee battles at Tonic. The group is composed of six emcees (Akdamo, Facta, Ro Knew, Rod Mac, Logik, and Law) that consistently dominated the freestyle competition every week. The group is currently working on some mixtapes to hold their fans off until the release of their first full-length album, tentatively titled First Edition.

WAVIN’ AT THE POPE HERE, BOSS.

sound ground #67 TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

music

arch 3, Triple Whip announced its new drummer: Jane Boxall, a predoctoral percussion student from York, England. She follows Josh Birky and debuts publicly April 7. Triple Whip will play mostly new songs now and record five for an EP in August. In the meantime, concert staple “Wudan”will appear on the Green St. Records compilation Playlisted. Colonel Rhodes readies for bassist Shane Cochran’s year abroad with a farewell show for him. March 24 at Cowboy Monkey, Colonel Rhodes performs with jigGsaw and Green Light Go. Show time is 10 p.m., and cover is $3. In store also are a music video and a split single with Winter in Alaska. Colonel Rhodes and Winter in Alaska shared the stage Jan. 22 at Courtyard Cafe. Having hosted its second show March 12, Boneyard Pottery does it again March 24 with groups guaranteed to rattle the shelves. On tour from Sweden,To What End? (exWolfbrigade) is “d-beat (Discharge-influenced) hardcore”with both female and male vocals. Signal Lost (exDeathreat) is “female-fronted anarcho-punk”from Texas. Die Screaming is “female-fronted hardcore-crust”from

www.canop yclub.com www.canopy Thursday, March 17

The D og & Eve ryt hin g Friday, March 18 10 years of Smut Rock: Boots & Bracelets, Bracelets, XXX Smut, Smut, A pplecore pplecore, the Nicotones, Nicotones, Johnny Johnny Fallout Fallout & the Radiation Radiation

Saturday, March 19

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this week in music

“C o m i c s o f f e r s t r e m e n d o u s r e s o u r c e s t o a l l wr i t e r s a n d a r t i s t s : f a i t h f u l n e s s , co n t r o l , a c h a n c e t o b e h e a r d f a r a n d wi d e wi t h o u t f e a r o f c o mp r o mi s e . ” - Sc ott McCloud

Pennsylvania, and Oroku is “solid crust”from Kansas. System Rejects, the lone local band on the bill, promises “raw punk butchery.”This is an all-ages show, with door at 7 p.m. and show time at 8 p.m. Cover is $6. OpeningBands.com celebrates three years online with a star-studded benefit tonight at Cowboy Monkey. On hand to perform are Terminus Victor, i:scintilla, The Greedy Loves, jigGsaw, Relenter and The Opportunists. New OpeningBands.com T-shirts are available in three colors. Show time is 8, and cover is $5. Also tonight at 8, Reasonable Doubt plays at Arôma, and Shipwreck plays at Courtyard Café with Sincerely Calvin, Ascot Fire and Straightline. Cover at Courtyard Café is $4 ($3 with valid UIUC student ID). At 10, Society of Celtic Cultures spinoff sextet, Spiral Seisiún, salutes St. Patrick’s Day with a set at The Iron Post. Elsewhere tonight at 8,The Like Young (ex-Wolfie) takes part in the Lookout! Records showcase in Austin at SXSW. The Like Young recently recorded and mixed a 7”EP for Polyvinyl Records.Titled The Timid EP, it has a mid-spring release date.

FILLING A HOLE WITH WORDS AND PICTURES BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

Todd J. Hunter hosts “WEFT Sessions”and “Champaign Local 901,”two hours of local music every Monday night at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Thursday, M arch 2 4

Wednesday, March 30

Saturday, April 2

Tweet It’s Me Again Atlantic BY ROSALYN YATES

w. Hello Dave

Tuesday, April 5

Friday, April 15

Thursday, A pril 2 1 ... AND Y OU W ILL KNOW U S B Y T HE TRAIL O F D EAD

with “ the s word ” & “ the b lack ”

Sunday, A pril 2 4

MC Chris

as heard on Comedy Central’s Cartoon Network!!

Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

If it’s true that an artist’s reality is reflected in their music, it’s good to know that Tweet is doing well. It has been three years since the release of the melancholy Southern Hummingbird, but this spring Tweet returns singing a different story on her new album It’s Me Again. The tone of It’s Me Again shows that time has healed many of Tweet’s emotional wounds. The disc begins with an introduction that has the singer eager to celebrate life and love—a noticeable difference from the debut’s intro, which served as a diary entry outlining the reasons for her depression. The calm tone found in the opening is prevalent throughout It’s Me Again, with “Cab Ride” being the first of a series of mellow songs. Using an updated version of the theme song from the television show Taxi as a backdrop, Tweet’s soft vocals complement the flute beautifully as she sings about

linking up with a companion for the night. “My Man” offers something different, with the drummer bringing the song to life in a way that can only be matched by a live experience. Following is the jazzy, playful tune “Sports, Sex & Food.” In this number Tweet assumes the role of a matriarch, offering to young women the secrets to keeping a man. It’s Me Again—like its predecessor—falls short when Missy Elliot is allowed free reign on tracks. Although the single “Turn Da Lights Off ” sounds good despite erratic shouting by Elliot, the rest of the songs suffer because of her input.The strength of Tweet’s songs (and consequently the album) lies in her soulful vocals and mature subject matter—not her mentor’s star power. It’s Me Again has the potential to become one of the year’s most successful releases. Let’s hope Tweet’s camp does it right this time by releasing material that is indicative of the album’s excellence instead of relying on the commercial appeal of the upbeat tracks.

Neko Case The Tigers Have Spoken Anti BY KYLE GORMAN

There must be something in the water in Canada. From the Arcade Fire’s Funeral to A.C. Newman’s Slow Wonder, 2004 was a good year for our quiet neighbors to the north. Neko Case is better known from her performances with Canada’s New Pornographers, but she makes quite a noise on The Tigers Have Spoken (also released in 2004). Despite what one would imagine from her bubbly work with the Pornographers, Case is effective in the context of this album, which is dominated by the country music she grew up with.A chugging cover of the Shangri-La’s “The Train from Kansas City” and a stellar re-reading of Loretta Lynn’s “Rated X” are just a few of the treats. It’s a credit to Neko’s songwriting, however,

that her originals are as convincing as the classics she plays, though this comes at the cost of forming a distinctive sound. The Sadies also impress with their slightly psychedelic country sound, applying pedal steel, banjo and upright bass to Case’s storytelling, creating an enjoyable, though slightly overbearing, package. Like her rival for the title of indie-gal-with-the-golden-pipes, (Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley), Case dabbles in country, but she’s infinitely more credible as a country chanteuse, even ignoring Neko’s twang (she was born in Virginia), which is on display via the album’s stage banter. Her chesty alto isn’t instantly as satisfying (or as sexy) as Lewis’ enthralling voice, but the way Case surrounds herself with such incredible musicians (both the topnotch Sadies and the supergroup New Pornographers) and with such great songs, puts her at a clear advantage over those with whom she competes.

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states,” and I was like, ‘Oh, this is the same guy I was reading about.’ So I transitioned into that stuff.“ “I was entranced by the stories, the morality tales and that kind of thing,” he explains.“This caught my attention when I was a kid.” Jennings’ fascination stuck with on through higher education. “In graduate school, I did my thesis on sequential narrative and how graphic design processes can create a better story,” he states. Comic strips, comic books and graphic novels have only been evolutionary steps in telling stories with images and words. As Jennings asserts, “Comics is truly an American concept that’s based off of stuff we’ve been doing for thousands of years.” Grad school only augmented his creative drive. “From there on out I was interested in the literary side of comics and actually pushing boundaries and trying to come up with different processes,” he says.“I’m real-

omics as a medium has come leaps and bounds since the Krazy Kat and Yellow Kid strips of the early 20th Century and the idealized Nazi-fighting superheroes of Golden Age comic books; artists and writers have been experimenting and integrating elements of other visual and written genres now for decades. John Jennings’ graphic novel The Hole showcases an amalgamation of icons—both in its story and presentation —that explore this history and comprise an archetype of what independent creators can do in today’s industry. Jennings is a an Assistant Professor of Graphic Design at the University of John Jennings splits his time lecturing and creating his signature comic books heroes. Illinois with a vocabulary of elements demonstrative of his background as a com- at other things. I started looking at how Jennings’ character, the Hole, is based on mercial artist and longtime lover of comic design affects society, and I really got inter- the mirror-effect of this relationship books. The Hole is his first long-form pub- ested in education.” between producer and conlication, rendered by his own selfAt the same time he was picking up sumer. Like other vigilantes, researched technique of hand and digital freelance projects on the side to support the character is thrust into a media and stylized storytelling reminiscent himself. “I started working with small start- world of insatiable desire to of the Robert Rodriguez film El Mariachi, up companies, some corporate stuff,” consume—desire that he spun for a hero in the vein of the Punisher Jennings explains. “My first real job while I transmits onto the mafia or Ghost Rider. In it, his protagonist was in grad school was at Wolfram Research and pedophiles. The conbecomes unwittingly joined with a doing package design and stuff like that.” cept, like the Punisher, comdemon-spirit in the form of a giant mouth His academic and professional pursuits pletes a circle of torment bonded to his stomach, which devours all synthesized a new perspective for him, open- within its character by objects of the hero’s desire. ing his eyes to the arguments and narratives focusing motivation inspired “I’ve always been influenced by horror within art, as well as within advertising. by ill-conceived circumcomics,” Jennings states. And the roots of his “I didn’t want to do fine art, so I really stances into a tool for justice character are noticeably anchored in that tra- didn’t understand that there was a connec- in a world where brutality dition. “I really liked Hellboy quite a bit. I tion,” he states. His first master’s degree was and crime run rampant. liked the Crow a lot. They were like superin art education, so comThe graphic novel was heroes, but they didn’t look ing to the University of an obvious format for like stereotypical heroes. I Illinois’ graphic design Jennings to realize his was thinking, ‘Wouldn’t it program shed a wholly concept, since comic be great to create a characnew light for him on books and commercial ter like that?’” intent and persuasion. artwork hand-in-hand The sparks of his initial “When I came in for grad have helped cultivate the inspirations ignited a deepschool and saw what all medium. er story he has seen develthese people were doing “I grew up in a very rural oping in his career in comwith graphic design, I situation in Mississippi, and mercial graphic design. thought,‘This is really inter- my mom would buy me “When I first went into esting.’ I fell in love with comics,” he says. “The first graphic design, I wanted to it—just the idea of solving thing I really read was corner offers,” he recalls. “I problems for people. To me Greek myths, actually.” wanted the Mercedes. I it’s always been about help- Greek myths led to interests wanted to be that guy— ing people get their mes- in other pantheons, such as the superstar designer. But sages across, whether it’s a the Norse gods of Viking then once I went to gradu- Page 11 from Jennings’ corporation or a proprietor- lore. “I saw that there was a ate school, I started looking American Thing comic ship or whatever.” Thor in Marvel comics,” he Jennings’ hero American Thing.

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C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

PHOTOS COURTESY OF JOHN JENNINGS

weekly

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY DAVID SOLANA

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buzz weekly

crossword

jonesin crossword puzzle

1 Address opener, maybe 5 Where protagonists may crawl in spy movies 9 Make ___ at (hit on) 14 Former Israeli PM Golda 15 Morales of "La Bamba" 16 Morocco's capital 17 Drew's "Poison Ivy" costar 18 Feeling of longing 19 Seal the deal 20 Salad dressing preferred by stayat-home moms? 23 Bovine blurts 24 It merged with American in 2001 25 First word of the subtitle to "Volare" 26 "The Greatest" 28 Tara of "My Boss's Daughter" 31 Hang on a line, as

laundry 33 Salad dressing preferred by 1960s TV butlers? 36 Color close to 2down 37 First Super Bowl to be officially called "Super Bowl" 38 "Harry Potter" birds 42 Salad dressing preferred by The Dude from "The Big Lebowski"? 47 Pillage 50 Title sitcom redhead 51 Bad variety of cholesterol 52 Social conclusion? 53 Part of a Battleship coordinate 55 Dr. Watson's outburst, maybe 57 Salad dressing preferred by Michael Jackson?

o We’re lo

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62 "___ man, he was a good man" (Frank Black lyric) 63 He gathered two by two 64 Monopoly board corner 66 Host who once gave away a bunch of cars 67 Collette of "Muriel's Wedding" 68 Airport near Paris 69 Yuletide tunes 70 Colleague of Crackle 71 Japanese noodles Down 1 "___ Pinafore" 2 Blue shade in 1980s garb 3 Dessert sometimes made with Marsala wine 4 Home to a large collection of Goyas 5 Coup participant

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TERMINUS VICTOR, I:SCINTILLA, THE GREEDY LOVES, JIGGSAW, RELENTER, THE OPPORTUNISTS

1. Name five bands or musicians that you would want at your show?

Cowboy Monkey, Tonight, 8pm, $5

Avril Lavigne, Pierre Bouvier, Derek “Ding Dong” Bell, Kleenex Thee Almighty, Katie Joyce and Michael O’Shea.

For the last three years, Openingbands.com has served the Champaign-Urbana music community by providing a myriad of resources. The Openingbands forum is a place where everyone from causal fans to musicians to venue promoters can discuss topics related to music and sometimes not so related to music. The OB Shows List is a comprehensive list of all live shows in C-U and beyond and also offers the unique feature of allowing any site user to submit any show they would like, whether it’s at Assembly Hall or your basement. Every month OB also publishes an issue with CD and show reviews, feature articles and editorials. OB also has a local resource section for musicians with information on everything from t-shirt printers to recording studios.

2. Analog or Digital?

3. Where would you rather play: Air Force base or a puppet show?

A puppet show. Jeff and Conor have no intention of trimming their gorgeous locks.

Champaign - I74 & N. Neil Across from Market Place Mall 217.403.1434

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Yo La Tengo have announced a series of dates scattered throughout March, April and May including an April 21 engagement at the Vic Theatre in Chicago.

Spiral Seisiún will be playing at The Iron Post in Urbana, tonight at 10.The opener is the U of I Big Band #1.

- Cassie Conner

k i n g

Trey Anastasio h a s announced a spring tour lasting from April 26 to May 14 with an engagem e n t a t C h i c a g o ’s Auditorium Theatre on May 10. Built to Spill will be tour ing the United States from M ay 4 t h r o u g h M ay 2 9 , including t wo n i g h t s a t C h i c a go ’s Metro May 7-8. Bob Mould, former lead singer/guitarist of Husker Du and Sugar, will be releasing his latest album, tentatively titled Body

of Song, via Yep Roc on July 26.The album will feature Fugazi drummer Brendan Canty. Cartoon hip-hop group Gorillaz will release their sophomore effort Demon Days via Virgin on May 24. The album will feature guest spots by De La Soul, MF Doom, Ike Turner and Shaun Ryder (Happy Mondays). Founding member of The Blind Boys of Alabama George Scott passed away at 75 on March 9 at his home in Durham, N.C. He will be missed.

w H at tH e He L L? MOMENT OF THE WEEK According to Punkbands.com, a family in South Wales is claiming that their boy was awoken from a coma by Green Day’s new album. Corey George had been on life support for two weeks when his mother played him GD’s latest LP American Idiot and within less than an hour he had opened his eyes and was able to move his fingers. He was out of the hospital four days later. I have seen the new Messiah. His name is Billie Joe. He shops at Hot Topic.

Join

Take an extra

March Madness is here! Come out to KAM’s tonight from 6-8pm and get pumped to watch the Illini beat Fairleigh-Dickinson and advance one step closer to the final four!

20 *

Off

There’ll be great drink specials, Illini basketball trivia, prizes and giveaways, plus fun and games with PGU’s

ANY SINGLE ITEM

IlliniDRIVE@5

Shop 9:00AM to 9:30PM daily, including Sunday! *NOT TO BE USED IN COMBINATION WITH ANY OTHER DISCOUNT OFFER. NOT VALID ON PRIOR PURCHASES, SHOES, OR LAYAWAY PURCHASES. *LIMIT 1 COUPON PER FAMILY. GOOD THROUGH SUNDAY, MARCH 26, 2005

something unexpected

5. Is Jonny Chemical (of The Chemicals) the sexiest man on earth?

HURLY-BURLY Sufjan Stevens has announced that his Illinois LP, official follow-up to 2003’s Michigan, is due out July 5 via Asthmatic Kitty. The album will feature contributions from members of Ester Drang, Volcano, I’m Still Excited! and Daniel Smith (Danielson Famile).

Because we’ll be celebrating the official St. Patrick’s day with beer that isn’t dyed green.

No, Jeff Peyton is.

Cashier instructions: scan one item...discount...%...promo...coupon...scan coupon

Are you?

4. Why should anyone come to your show?

The night will start with The Opportunist, a four-person band featuring two guitars and two drummers, a line-up that allows for their unique style of intertwining melodies and rhythms. Up next will be Relenter, a band that aptly describes itself as "a collaboration of rock and synth musicians [that] merges rock guitar and melodic piano with an electronic synth-rock backbone." JigGsaw is an energetic art/rock/punk band that produces songs that are both forceful and melodic. Composed of decorated veterans of the Champaign-Urbana music scene, The Greedy Loves play music that they refer to as "edgy, power-poppunk, hook-laden guitar rock." The industrial-rock force known as i:scintilla will take the stage second to last. The night is finished off by Terminus Victor, who accompany their electro-rock with spastic antics and an excitement-enhancing light show.

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Digital.

Up until this point, OB's funding has come almost exclusively from internal sources, but now OB looks to the community for contributions. The six bands playing on this night are some of the finest that C-U has to offer: in addition to hearing some fine music you will be helping keep a valuable community organization alive.

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buzz weekly •

WAVE AT THE POPE THERE, LUKE.

Dusting For Vomit #3: Spiral Seisiún

Openingbands.com Benefit Show:

6 7 8 9

Across

Mil. fliers Lacks the skills Like some jeans Outdated, in dictionaries 10 ___ Alto, Calif. 11 Swarm 12 Computer worm first noticed in April 2004 13 ___ Dan (sexual device in William S. Burroughs's "Naked Lunch") 21 Days long past 22 McGregor who plays a young ObiWan 26 Doc bloc 27 Non-solid state: abbr. 29 "___ bleeds..." 30 More in need of moisturizer 32 Sorority letters 34 "...___ puddy tat!" 35 Dublin's country, locally 39 Lucky semifinals entrant 40 Wee boy 41 "Weekend Update" show, for short 43 Good-natured cheers 44 Word after screen or teen 45 Way too cool for everyone else 46 It's a long story 47 Underling 48 Direction that may follow a ritardando 49 Midnight rider 54 Covets 56 Bartlett alternative 58 List-ending abbr. 59 When two hands come together 60 Queen Latifah's real first name 61 City not far from Mauna Loa 65 Evil-___ (witch and ally of Skeletor)

E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM TO LIST EVENTS.

PHOTO COURTESY OF TREYANASTASIO.COM

•

PHOTO COURTESY OF SPIRALSEISIUN.COM

Get properly prepared to cheer on the Illini this week and all season at PGU Basketball PreGame!

GORDMANS HAS THE SAME GREAT STYLES AND BRANDS YOU’D FIND AT THE MALL FOR UP TO 50% OFF - EVERY DAY! COME IN AND SEE OUR LARGE ASSORTMENT OF NAME BRAND CLOTHES FOR ALL AGES, ACCESSORIES, FRAGRANCES, HOME FASHIONS AND MORE!

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Theater Little Theatre of the Deaf: Fingers Around the World Virginia Theatre, 9:30am, 1pm, $6-$11

SITI THEATER CO. & RACHEL’S: SYSTEMS/LAYERS Krannert Center Tryon Festival Theater, Tonight, 7:30pm, $16-$26 Tonight at 7:30, eight actors and 12 musicians will grace the Tryon Festival Theater stage for a one-of-a-kind performance of systems/layers— a multi-disciplinary dance/theater piece that follows its characters through the complex beauty, solitude and company of urban life. A project of Anne Bogart’s inventive SITI Theater Company and a band described as “indie-rock-slash-classical-chamber”, Rachel’s (flip back to page 10), Mojo magazine calls systems/layers “a modern soundtrack for city life—an aural survival pack that pulls out moments of delicate beauty from all the...cacophony.” Tonight is currently the show’s only booking’s, so check it out while you have the chance. Afterwards, look for the “IPRH/Krannert Discussion” table in the lobby and join UIUC professors and others to dissect and discuss this ground-breaking work. - Erin Scottberg

March 17 Live Music Acoustic Music Series: Reasonable Doubt Aroma, 8pm, free Kayla Brown Boltini, 8-10pm, Free Shipwreck, Sincerely Calvin, Ascot Fire, Stillline Courtyard Cafe, 8pm, $3/UIUC students, $4/non Openingbands.com Benefit Show: Terminus Victor, i:scintilla, The Greedy Loves, Jiggsaw, Relenter, The Opportunists Cowboy Monkey, 8pm, $5 Stroke 9, Bottle of Justus, The Dog and Everything The Canopy Club, 9pm $6/advance, $8/door U of I #1 Big Band The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Jim Bean Tommy G's, 9pm, free Hippus Campus Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 St. Patrick's Day Concert: Spiral Seisiun The Iron Post, 10pm, TBA DJ DJ J-Phlip [house] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Kuki, DJ Runi, DJ Khiladi Nargile, 10pm, $5

St. Patrick's Day Party: DJ Delayney, DJ Resonate, DJ Bozak The Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ Bozak [hip hop and other soulful beats] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Generic DJ Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-11pm Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign 7:30pm, $7-$9 Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free Theater SITI Company and Rachels: systems/layers Krannert Center Tryon Festival Theater, 7:30pm, $14-$26

friday

March 18 Live Music Mark Clark [finger-picked countryblues] Verde Gallery, 8pm, $5

The Prairie Dogs [bluegrass/folk] Cowboy Monkey, 5pm, $2 Boneyard Jazz Quintet The Iron Post, 5pm, TBA Billy Galt Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Pound for Pound, The Mourning After, Solemn Vow, TWS, Medford Wake the Dead Cafe 6-11pm, $5 Tommy Castro Band The Highdive, 7:30pm, $12/advance, $15/door Boots and Bracelets, XXX Smut, Applecore, Johnny Fallout and the Radiation, The Nicotones The Canopy Club, 9pm, TBA Mother Popcorn The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Mike Ingram and Friends [rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $3 Abstract Giants, Green Light Go, Brain Housing Group, Mock Romeo Nargile, 10pm, $5 Signsedso, Four The Fallen, TBA Paulie's, 10pm, $5 Renegade [classic rock, southern rock, country] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover DJ DJ Bozak [hip hop, downtempo] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [hip hop, house, top 40 dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5

saturday

March 19 Live Music Open Mic with Evan Marian Wake the Dead Cafe 6-11pm, free The Tons O Fun Band, Doxy [Motown/Soul] Cowboy Monkey, 7pm, $4 Desafinado Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Justify the Means, Jaded Kayne, Lidlifter, Midshift The Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Murali Coryell The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Mad Science Fair, Cameron McGill, The Elanors Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4 Kelly's Heros Reunion Show with Jim Bean [classic rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Kevin Elliot & Paul Kottheimer [“Cost of Endless War Rally] 1 Main St., Downtown Champaign, 3-4pm Handel's oratorio "Saul" [Baroque Artists of ChampaignUrbana] Smith Recital Hall, UIUC 7:30pm, $5-$15 DJ DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Limbs [hip hop, soul, dance] Boltini, 10pm, free DJ Mellow Fellow [hip hop, retro,RnB] Nargile, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [hip hop, house, and top 40 dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Mighty Dog Jackson’s RIbs-n-Tips, 9pm-2am Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Sappy's on Devenshire 9pm-12am, free Lectures, Meetings "The Cost of Endless War" [outdoor Community Rally featuring speakers Fred Spannaus of Military Families Speak Out, Sundiata Ch-Jua, UI professor, Roaa al-Heeti, UI Law Student] 1 Main St, downtown Champaign, 3-4pm, free

Family East Central Illinois Largest Egg Hunt [all ages] South Park, Farmer City 11am-2pm, $5 www.scarecrowfestfarmercity.com Theater Little Theatre of the Deaf: Fingers Around the World Virginia Theatre, 1pm, $6-$11

sunday

March 20 Live Music Hot Club d'Urbana The Iron Post, 8-11pm, TBA The Crystal River Band [country] Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Free Rock Show: JAB Tommy G's, 9pm, free Kilborn Alley Jackson’s Ribs-n-Tips, 8-11pm DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [80's rewind] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

monday

March 21 Live Music Jazz Jam with ParaDocs The Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Quadremedy [rock] Tommy G's, 10pm, free Seniors Live Stronger, Live Longer , Champaign Public Library Auditorium, 2pm, free DJ UC Hip Hop presents Chill in th Grill [DJ's, MC's, breakdancers and more] The Canopy Club, 9pm, free Ear Candy [house DJ's] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop, soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop, R&B, lounge] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ Bozak [hip hop and other soulful beats] Boltini, 10:30pm, free Family Monday Mania [play with your infant/toddler in a gym atmosphere brought to through cooperation of the Champaign Park District] Leonard Recreation Center 10am-12pm, $2/CPD member, $3/non

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a s t r o l o g y

ARIES

tuesday

March 22 Live Music Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Brandon T. Washington The Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band [country] Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm free Adam Wolf's Acoustic Night with Jess Greenlee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free DJ DJ Sophisto [house] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Mingram [rock] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [goth, industrial, electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ J-Philip Boltini, 10:30pm, free Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's Chill and Grill, 9pm, free

wednesday March 23 Live Music Ed O'Hara and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free The Apollo Project Nargile, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson’s Rins-n-Tips, 8-10pm

TAU RU S

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

You can, of course, choose to ignore the invitations that life will offer you in the coming weeks. Having free will means you can always refuse to go with the cosmic flow. But if you would like to weave the threads of a higher destiny into the fabric of your humdrum routine, you should meditate on how you can be more of a leader. Are there ways you could energize a group or organization you're part of? Are you ready to seize the initiative in one of your close relationships, shepherding it into a new era? Are you willing to summon the courage to rise above the hypnotic numbness of the daily grind, stretching your imagination to see the big picture?

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

"All human beings should try to learn what they are running from, and to, and why," said James Thurber. Judging from the astrological omens, Cancerian, I think this is the perfect time for you to take his advice very seriously. You're in position to see things that are normally invisible to you, including secrets you hide from yourself and truths you have studiously avoided knowing. Maybe you don't think you're telepathic, but I assure you that right now you at least have the power to read your own deep and mysterious mind.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

In her memoir, Lipstick Jihad, Azadeh Moaveni describes life in Iran under the crushing oppression of its fundamentalist rulers. She says young people pursue an "'as if' lifestyle," pretending it's permitted "to hold hands on the street, blast music at parties, speak your mind, challenge authority, take your drug of choice, wear too much lipstick." It's a strenuous game, requiring intricate strategies to circumvent the many prohibitions enforced by the morality police. I suggest that you take your

Puzzle

VIRGO

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(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

"You can't depend on your judgment," said Mark Twain, "when your imagination is out of focus." And since your imagination is more than a little fuzzy and aimless right now, Virgo, I recommend that you postpone decisions that would require you to have acute judgment. On the other hand, don't get twisted out of shape about it. It's not a big problem. All you have to do to sharpen up your imagination is expose it in a concentrated way to some great works of art or music or literature.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Some journalists have been expressing pious outrage about baseball players who may have enhanced their physical abilities with steroids. Next maybe they will turn their attention to computer pioneers whose revolutionary innovations in the '70s and '80s were spurred by their ingestion of psychedelic drugs; and musicians, writers, filmmakers, and actors whose creativity is primed by dope and booze; and politicians like the first President George Bush, who regularly took Halcion, a sleeping pill with side effects like amnesia, anxiety attacks, and paranoia; and the millions of average people who make life-changing decisions while in the grip of psychotropics like Prozac or that powerful drug, caffeine. What's your performance-enhancing, mind-altering substance of choice, Libra? Whatever it is, this is the week you should fully acknowledge its impact on your destiny. Celebrate its gifts and analyze its downsides.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

It's a good time for you to think about your relationship to human beings who haven't been born yet. Is there anything you can do to be more conscious about making your life a gift to the future? What might you create that would enhance the destinies of our descendants? How can you conduct yourself so that you will not only help preserve the wonders we live amidst, but actually enhance them? As you ponder your possible contributions--and maybe also take practical action to deepen your commitment to them--keep in mind this thought from Lewis Carroll: "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward."

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The transition you'll soon be going through should be exceptionally dramatic and fun, if a bit abrupt. You'll be evolving from a slow, sleepy meander to a savvy, scintillating bolt. As you finish getting your psychic batteries recharged, you'll accelerate quickly and be in sleek, fast motion before you know what's happening. Bid goodbye to your sabbatical, Sagittarius; say "yow" to the brilliant, bracing adventure.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

March 18 is Awkward Moments Day. It was created by the authors of the book, Awkward Moments: Celebrating the Humor in Life's Uncomfortable Situations. They tout the value of harnessing opportunities that open up when you or someone else does something embarrassing, clumsy, or clueless. I suggest you try exactly what they recommend, Capricorn. More than any other sign of the zodiac, you now have the potential to take maximum advantage of everything that's dicey, thorny, and ticklish.

AQUARIUS pg.15

1 7

cue from these covert freedom fighters, Leo. Start by identifying the big NO that constantly casts a shadow over your life. Does it come from voices inside your head or from external authorities? Live as if you were free to be yourself completely, without having to answer to your personal version of Iran's dour mullahs.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

A recent poll revealed that more and more people are enjoying oral sex. In the last three years alone, the percentage has increased from 74 to 79 percent. For members of the Aquarian tribe, that figure is likely to zoom precipitously upward in the coming weeks, as will the sheer number of erotic encounters involving the lips and tongue. In fact, all activities involving pleasure with the mouth are likely to lead to success and happiness, including (but not limited to) gourmet eating, loud singing, and wild talking. For extra credit, try combining two activities: gourmet eating and wild talking, for instance, or singing and oral sex.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

Please read my Cancer horoscope this week. There I've quoted an interesting observation by the writer James Thurber, then added some related ideas of my own. In a sense, I've collaborated with Thurber. I've blended my mind with his, and together we have come up with counsel that includes both of our thoughts but offers wisdom that's more than the sum of its parts. I suggest that you use this strategy in the coming week, Pisces. Choose people whose lives or work you admire, and work together to create synergies that draw on both their genius and yours.

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Meetings, Discussions & Lectures Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm f r o m

(April 20-May 20)

So begins the Potent Dreaming phase of the year for you, Taurus. In the coming weeks, the adventures you have while you sleep will be far more interesting than any movie you could see in a theater. Some of your dreams may be the nighttime equivalent of wild goose chases and shaggy dog stories, with no discernible plots or meaning. But the revelations you receive in others could change your life forever with useful lessons and brilliant insights. To help you remember these spiritual gifts from your subconscious mind, please keep a pen and notebook near your bed.

Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free

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(March 21-April 19)

Many supposedly scientific debunkers deride astrology but have done almost no research on the subject. That's one reason why these illinformed "skeptics" spread so many ignorant lies. For instance, they say that astrologers think the stars and planets emit invisible beams that affect people's lives. The truth is, most astrologers don't believe any such thing. Is there any way in which you engage in behavior similar to the lazy debunkers, Aries? What subjects do you speak about with authority even though you really don't know much about them? Do you ever spout opinions about situations you've never experienced firsthand? Do you pass judgment on ideas you've never studied and people you've never spent time with? We all do these things--I confess to being guilty of it myself--but this is your special time to make amends.

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggea] Barfly, 10pm, free Salsa Night [salsa, mambo, bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $2 DJ Limbs [hip hop, soul, dance] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

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DJ Mighty Dog Jackson’s RIbs-n-Tips, 9pm-2am

thurday

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"a modern soundtrack for city life -- an aural survival pack that pulls out moments of delicate beauty from all the...cacophony." - Mojo Magazine

Homework: Describe how you plan to let the coming of spring help you shake off some of your tame and overly civilized behavior. Testify at http://www.freewillastrology.com.

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U R B A N A

ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 AROMA CAFE | 118 N. Neil, Champaign 356-3200 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana COSMOPOLITAN CLUB | 307 E John, Champaign 367-3079 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 G.T.’S WESTERN BOWL | Francis, Champaign 359-1678 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861

KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950 LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LES’S LOUNGE | 403 N Coler, Urbana 328-4000 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 355-1406 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TEN THOUSAND VILLAGES | 105 N Walnut, Champaign 352-8938 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign

Theater Little Theatre of the Deaf: Fingers Around the World Virginia Theatre, 9:30am, 1pm, $6-$11

friday

March 18 Live Music Mark Clark [finger-picked countryblues] Verde Gallery, 8pm, $5

saturday

sunday

monday

w i l l

what ’s your sign?

a s t r o l o g y

ARIES

tuesday

TAU RU S

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Puzzle

VIRGO

m a r

2 3

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

AQUARIUS pg.15

1 7

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Meetings, Discussions & Lectures Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm f r o m

(April 20-May 20)

Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free

s o u n d s

(March 21-April 19)

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggea] Barfly, 10pm, free Salsa Night [salsa, mambo, bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $2 DJ Limbs [hip hop, soul, dance] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

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DJ Mighty Dog Jackson’s RIbs-n-Tips, 9pm-2am

thurday

f r e e

"a modern soundtrack for city life -- an aural survival pack that pulls out moments of delicate beauty from all the...cacophony." - Mojo Magazine

Homework: Describe how you plan to let the coming of spring help you shake off some of your tame and overly civilized behavior. Testify at http://www.freewillastrology.com.

t h e

s c e n e •

v e n u e s C H A M P A I G N

U R B A N A

buzz weekly

crossword

jonesin crossword puzzle

o We’re lo

ahead to

n ri

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TERMINUS VICTOR, I:SCINTILLA, THE GREEDY LOVES, JIGGSAW, RELENTER, THE OPPORTUNISTS

1. Name five bands or musicians that you would want at your show?

Cowboy Monkey, Tonight, 8pm, $5

Avril Lavigne, Pierre Bouvier, Derek “Ding Dong” Bell, Kleenex Thee Almighty, Katie Joyce and Michael O’Shea.

2. Analog or Digital?

3. Where would you rather play: Air Force base or a puppet show?

A puppet show. Jeff and Conor have no intention of trimming their gorgeous locks.

Champaign - I74 & N. Neil Across from Market Place Mall 217.403.1434

d a v e

b y

d a v i d

Yo La Tengo have announced a series of dates scattered throughout March, April and May including an April 21 engagement at the Vic Theatre in Chicago.

Spiral Seisiún will be playing at The Iron Post in Urbana, tonight at 10.The opener is the U of I Big Band #1.

- Cassie Conner

k i n g

Join

Take an extra

March Madness is here! Come out to KAM’s tonight from 6-8pm and get pumped to watch the Illini beat Fairleigh-Dickinson and advance one step closer to the final four!

20 *

Off

There’ll be great drink specials, Illini basketball trivia, prizes and giveaways, plus fun and games with PGU’s

ANY SINGLE ITEM

IlliniDRIVE@5

something unexpected

5. Is Jonny Chemical (of The Chemicals) the sexiest man on earth?

Because we’ll be celebrating the official St. Patrick’s day with beer that isn’t dyed green.

No, Jeff Peyton is.

Cashier instructions: scan one item...discount...%...promo...coupon...scan coupon

Are you?

4. Why should anyone come to your show?

’n

THE

Digital.

b o b

buzz weekly •

WAVE AT THE POPE THERE, LUKE.

Dusting For Vomit #3: Spiral Seisiún

Openingbands.com Benefit Show:

6 7 8 9

Across

E-MAIL CALENDAR@READBUZZ.COM TO LIST EVENTS.

PHOTO COURTESY OF TREYANASTASIO.COM

•

PHOTO COURTESY OF SPIRALSEISIUN.COM

Get properly prepared to cheer on the Illini this week and all season at PGU Basketball PreGame!

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WAVIN’ AT THE POPE HERE, BOSS.

sound ground #67 TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

music

www.canop yclub.com www.canopy Thursday, March 17

Saturday, March 19

t M in d S h if

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this week in music

FILLING A HOLE WITH WORDS AND PICTURES BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

Todd J. Hunter hosts “WEFT Sessions”and “Champaign Local 901,”two hours of local music every Monday night at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

Thursday, M arch 2 4

Wednesday, March 30

Saturday, April 2

Tweet It’s Me Again Atlantic BY ROSALYN YATES

w. Hello Dave

Tuesday, April 5

Friday, April 15

Thursday, A pril 2 1 ... AND Y OU W ILL KNOW U S B Y T HE TRAIL O F D EAD

with “ the s word ” & “ the b lack ”

Sunday, A pril 2 4

MC Chris

as heard on Comedy Central’s Cartoon Network!!

Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

Neko Case The Tigers Have Spoken Anti BY KYLE GORMAN

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C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

PHOTOS COURTESY OF JOHN JENNINGS

weekly

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY DAVID SOLANA

12 • b u z z

18 •

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The Digging Barbarians

HI CAROL. I RAN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY. ^___^

exhibit

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Best Rock Band

PHOTOS • SARAH KROHN

Varouis buckles, a spoon and a medical probe are part of the Digging Barbarians exhibit that is on display at Spurlock from March 8th to July 30th.

WPGU/BUZZ LOCAL MUSIC AWARDS NOMINEES

Spurlock Museum Event

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

buzz weekly •

HOLY CRIP, HE’S A CRAPPLE!

Best Roots/ Americana Band BEAUTY SHOP

elsinore

GREEN MOUNTAIN GRASS

TRACTOR KINGS

KILBORN ALLEY

Best Hip-Hop Band ANIMATE OBJECTS

Two visitors of the Spurlock Museum study artifacts from the Digging Barbarians exhibit, part of the Museum’s Gallery of European Cultures.

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Animate Objects swiped the spotlight in UrbanaChampaign’s live hip-hop scene with their funk-rock-

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MELODIC SCRIBES

BRAIN HOUSING GROUP

KRUKID

THE AGENDA

MA R . 17 Remember,

information is not knowledge; knowledge is not wisdom; wisdom is not truth; truth is not beauty; beauty is not love; music is the best. love is not music;

•

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Edward Moses

RACHEL’S MEETS SITI AT THE KRANNERT CENTER

PHOTO COURTESY OF RACHEL’S

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BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

PHOTOS • SARAH KROHN

“

• 19

ar tist’s corner

- Frank Zappa

JOE MARTIN • STAFF WRITER

buzz weekly

YOU THINK I’M HOT DON’T YOU? WELL, I’M NOT AS HOT AS HELL.

Moses performs spoken word locally.

Why do you do spoken word?

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What goes into a successful slam attempt?

Artist Edward Moses writes down his thoughts in the form of poetry and music.

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stop. It will keep going. It will be driven further and further for more poetical devices, more metaphors, more similes, more this, that, and the other.

Which

you

20 â&#x20AC;˘

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DEAR GOD, I HOPE YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 'CAUSE IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU, WE WOULD ALL BE IN A TERRIBLE MESS.

MA R . 17

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MA R . 17

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NOBODY LIKES GREASY, GLOBBY BACON.

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JENNINGS 17

PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN JENNINGS

C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

No.

Rules.

Radio.

#ONTAINS ADULT THEMES AND STRONG LANGUAGE THERE IS NO LATE SEATING IN THE 3TUDIO 4HEATRE

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YOUR BRAIN HAS THE SHELL ON IT.

MA R . 17

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Q. HOW DO YOU MAKE HOLY WATER? A. BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT.

Local Music Local Talent Local Achievements...

THIS WEEK AT KRANNERT

www.cumusicawards.com

VOTE Now Through March for your favorites:

â&#x20AC;¢ 21

Best Rock Group Best Americana/Roots Group Hip-Hop/Funk Group 28th Best 2004 Album of the Year Best Live Performance Best Band (overall) Best Male Artist Best Female Artist Best DJ

Q + A CONTINUED

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PA G E

+RANNERT 5NCORKED PM FREE

&ACULTY #HAMBER -USIC 2ECITAL PM

-ARISOL PM

hxA BEAUTIFUL INTELLIGENT VISUAL ACCOUNT OF THE MUSIC IN MOOD AND MEASURE v .EW 9ORK -AGAZINE -ARK -ORRIS $ANCE 'ROUP

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AM PM NON PERFORMANCE WEEKDAYS AM THROUGH PERFORMANCE ON WEEKDAYS MINUTES BEFORE THROUGH PERFORMANCES ON WEEKENDS

)NTERLUDE #OCKTAILS AND CONVERSATION

4U -AR *AMES 'ILES PIANO PM 3MITH -EMORIAL 2ECITAL (ALL FREE 3MITH -EMORIAL (ALL 3 -ATHEWS 5RBANA

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4HE 0ROMENADE 'IFTS CARDS CANDY AND MORE AM PM -ONDAY 3ATURDAY /NE HOUR BEFORE TO MINUTES AFTER PERFORMANCES

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-ARQUEE PERFORMANCES ARE SUPPORTED IN PART BY THE )LLINOIS !RTS #OUNCILÂ&#x2C6; A STATE AGENCY WHICH RECOGNIZES +RANNERT #ENTER IN ITS 0ARTNERS IN %XCELLENCE 0ROGRAM

0ATRON #O SPONSORS .ANCY AND %DWARD 4EPPER !NONYMOUS

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937

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+RANNERT 5NCORKED PM FREE

4ALKBACK AFTER THE SHOW FREE

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Keep reading Buzz and listening to WPGU 107.1 for info on the nominees and announcements for this unprecedented event.

4H -AR

3)4) #OMPANY AND 2ACHEL S SYSTEMS LAYERS PM

&RIDAY 3ATURDAY !PRIL AT PM 4RYON &ESTIVAL 4HEATRE &LEX 3# 3TU 5) 9TH 3INGLE 3# 3TU 5) 9TH

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0ATRON 3EASON 3PONSOR 4HE FAMILY OF 2AYMOND 4IMPONE 3R

+RANNERT#ENTER COM OR +#0!4)8

MA R . 17

food review

CARLY FISHER • STAFF WRITER

is located at 48 E Springfield Ave., Champaign

Me, myself & microwave Due

Euro Mart

AUTO INJURIES? Chiropractic Honors the Body’s Ability to Heal Itself, Naturally FREE EXAM & X-RAY

(IF NEEDED) NEW PATIENTS ONLY

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TO TRAVEL IS TO DISCOVER THAT EVERYONE IS WRONG ABOUT OTHER COUNTRIES.

Traveling Out West By Tim Peters

Road Trip South

stadt r e b l a H Jul ie

What are your daily job responsibilities?

I book flight reservations, car reservations, tours, hotels, spring break trips or whatever may come up!

PHOTO • JULIE HALBERSTADT

all by myself

M A R . 2 3 , 2 OO5

•

How did you get into the travel agency business?

Q + A C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

1802 Woodfield Dr.

217-352-9899

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“What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do—especially in other people's minds. When you're

traveling, you are what you

I went to one of those obedience places once...

it was all going well until they spilled

are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you.

hot candle wax on my private parts.

No yesterdays on the road.”

– BEST IN SHOW

~William Least Heat Moon • Blue Highways

How to make the best of your spring break vacation

MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

With the exception of London Planner By Susie An

Most of Robots is surprisingly dull and desperate to entertain.

C - U

v i e w s

COMPILED BY SARAH KROHN

Mike Salmon Tuscola, Ill.

“It’s a good family movie.”

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Robots

Brett Salmon Evanville, In.

“The movie was ok.”

Britney Jackson Evansville, In.

“My favorite robot was Amanda Bynes.”

Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

20TH CENTURY FOX

ROBOTS

SPRING BREAK TRAVEL TIPS

24 • b u z z w e e k l y

No one disputes that this one is for the kids.

HOSTAGE DAVID JUST • STAFF WRITER

THostage, he title of Bruce Willis’ new film, is misleading. Hostages don’t drive

Hostage takes old scenes and spits them out the same way as they always were.

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Top 10

the week’s best

BOX OFFICE

WALT DISNEY PICTURES

ANDREW CREWELL• STAFF WRITER

VIN DIESEL

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Robots ($36.0M) The Pacifier ($18.2M) Be Cool ($10.3M) Hostage ($10.2M) Hitch ($8.8M) Million Dollar Baby ($5.2M) Diary of a Mad Black Woman ($4.9M)

8. Constantine ($3.8M) 9. Man of the House ($1.8M) 10. Cursed ($1.6M)

DVD SALES

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Ray Alien vs. Predator Half Baked Donnie Darko: The Director’s Cut My Architect The Notebook The Motorcycle Diaries Summer Catch The Incredibles Collateral

MIRAMAX

THE PACIFIER

IF WE’RE NOT BACK BY DAWN, CALL THE PRESIDENT.

1. Flight of the Phoenix 2. Exorcist: The Beginning 3. The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie 4. The Notebook 5. Taxi 6. Ray 7. Saw 8. Shall We Dance? 9. Shark Tale 10. Friday Night Lights

Flight of the Phoenix earns this week’s top movie rental. Source: RottenTomatoes.com

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. . . CAUSE

YOU RULE!

seth fein

the local sniff

first things first

coulter

buzz weekly •

Saying goodbye to my youth

Proof reading a porn script

Gene Keady's wife scared me as a child

Don’t act like a monkey in a turd factory

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER.

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MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I could tell you a big-ass

EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU A KING?

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oF thE

W H AT G O E S AROUND

[

AROUND,

COMES

Another Night Out Drinking?

a Nd

Gi g gLEs

An informed and opinionated look at this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s events

]

COMPILED BY LOGAN MOORE

getting arrested

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Losing control can mean losing a lot more.

Office of the Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs

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Get Shorty: Special Edition

DAN MALONEY â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

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dvd review

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WE REALLY SHOOK THE PILLARS OF HEAVEN, DIDN’T WE? BOOGEYMAN 1.5 stars

ALONE IN THE DARK .5 STARS

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M A R . 2 3 , 2 OO5

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE 3 stars

Fresh flicks opening this weekend

The Daily Illini, Buzz and Savoy 16 Theatres, would like to congratulate the lucky winners of the 2005 Oscar Picks!

Grand Prize:

Stephanie Baker

52 pairs of passes to Savoy 16

Second Prize:

Lisa Spencer

Third Prize:

Jeff Kelly

52 single passes to Savoy 16

26 single passes to Savoy 16

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EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

Take a Break from Studying, Get a

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BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

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TALK TO BUZZ e-mail:

buzz@readbuzz.com write:

57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call:

217.337.3801

All vehicles clearly marked No negotiation necessary!

Gift Certificates Available

Take your Best Shot with Worden-Martin! In Front of Savoy 16

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PHOTO • SARAH KROHN

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Editor’s Note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow News of the Weird • Chuck Shephard Sh!ts and Giggles First Things First • Michael Coulter The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

AROUND TOWN Spring Break Tips • Susie An q + a with Julie Halberstadt Life in Hell • Matt Groening

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PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

MAIN EVENT Free Will Astrology Bob n’ Dave • Dave King Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT John Jennings Cover Story • Brian Warmoth The Digging Barbarians • Emily Cotterman Artist’s Corner with Edward Moses (Th)ink • Keef Knight

WINE + DINE

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

THE SILVER SCREEN

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

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APARTMENTS

TECH AND TAN

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease!

DIRECTOR

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Nine Month Leases Available Gundam Fighting robots and pets negotiable

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Furnished/Unfurnished 1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626 Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

www.johnsmithproperties.com

APARTMENTS

420

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1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

WESTGATE

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Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

503- 505- 508 E. White

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

203 S. Sixth. C.

For August 2005. Large 3, 4 bedrooms, 2 baths. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C

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Billed rate: 35¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

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CLASSIFIEDS s o u n d s

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Furnished

Furnished/Unfurnished

RATES:

APARTMENTS

207- 211 JOHN

DEADLINE:

All by myself • Carly Fisher

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Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

APARTMENTS Furnished

430

APARTMENTS Unfurnished

605 S. Fifth, C.

Fall 2005 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1 bedrooms available. Garage off-street parking. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court. Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

602 E. Stoughton

For Fall. 2 Bedroom, no pets. Springfield and Gregory. $630/mo. 390-1444.

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626. Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

BIG AND CUDDLY!

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Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

ROOM & BOARD

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

APARTMENTS

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Unfurnished

515 W. WASHINGTON, C.

Newly remodeled, 1 BR, Now available. $395/mo. Near dowtown Champaign. 352-8540. www.faronproperties.com

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1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

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INTRO

M A R . 2 3 , 2 OO5

April 7th, 2005 at The Highdive

under the cover

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C OV E R

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The Digging Barbarian exhibit

MA R . 17

Local Achievements...

COKE-Y COLA? MORE LIKE CRACK-Y COLA!

Local Talent

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Local Music

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Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

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