Buzz Magazine: March 22, 2012

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week of March 22, 2012

A Holi holiday 6 Columbia Roastery 10 Tweeting Fan Fiction 16

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VOL10 NO12

MARCH 22, 2012

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IN THIS ISSUE

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FASHION FORWARD BREAK IT YOURSELF

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7

A review of Andrew Bird’s new album

EARTH ANALOG

8

A look into a local analog recording studio

MEATHEADS

10

New CU burger joint lives up to its name

AESOP’S FABLES 4 ON READBUZZ.COM COMMUNITY This week online, Karolina admits that, despite encouragement, sometimes it is hard to feel unique. We all feel like we are conforming once in a while, and sometimes we really are. But there is no need to beat yourself up about following the herd sometimes. Being unique is more than one-upping everyone else on the originality factor; it comes from loving yourself.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Check out our review of Donald Margulies’ production Time Stands Still put on

by Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theatre Co.

MOVIES & TV Check out our online coverage of Adrian Grenier’s campus visit.

MUSIC Check out reviews of the new Andrew Bird, Bruce Springsteen and Coed Pageant releases, along with a new Records We Missed and a new Playlist.

FOOD & DRINK

Melanie is all about the late night food, but not necessarily about the unhealthiness of it. She gives great tips and advice on how to eat late without adding the pounds! “Late Night Bite” will be online Saturday!

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Tips for this season’s trends

CALENDAR

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Your guide to this week’s events in CU

EDITOR’S NOTE SAMANTHA BAKALL

Sometimes I forget that I’m on a college campus. It’s not that I can’t see the multitudes of students lumbering about during the day with backpacks on the quintessential quad every campus has. It’s that I have a very romantic idea of what college looks like. When I think about what my ideal campus is comprised of, it is usually filled with students and professors hanging out on the quad, taking advantage of an open schedule.

Thankfully, once the weather makes a turn for the warmer, my romantic fantasies become reality.

The quad no longer resembles a desolate open space, but a thriving community.

There’s something about warm weather that makes everyone, professors included, come to life. The quad buzzes with activity — people throw frisbees to one another, dogs pad around through the grass, occasionally stopping at different groups of people to say hello and lick a few faces, gals and guys get a head start on that summer tan, couples spend an hour lounging with one another, people prop themselves against a tree to enjoy a good book. Once the thermometer hits 65 after a long, grey and chilly winter, everyone is ready to break out the summer clothing and enjoy the warm sunshine and cloudless skies.

The mood of campus seems to brighten, too.

Everyone is a little happier, even when the workload increases. Though the nagging responsibility to do said work diminishes, especially as finals approach, the spirit of the campus remains buoyant. And rightfully so; it’s hard not to be happy when coats, scarves and winter boots become irrelevant.

I love sitting in the shade with a girlfriend and just hanging out. Even though I usually have something pressing to do, I can’t help but enjoy the weather because it seems like it’s been ages since I’ve been able to not have to wear a jacket out of the house. Nothing feels better than being able to finally leave all the layers inside and wear something light and comfortable. So take 30 minutes, sit outside with a friend and enjoy the day — no work included. It’s refreshing and totally worth it.

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SAM BAKALL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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BACK TO SCHOOL

by Max Huppert

BUZZ STAFF

It’s time to face the cold reality, people: spring break is over. I did the math, which is not my strong suit, but it seems to me that we’ve got about six weeks left of classes.

We’re past the halfway point, over the hump.

I know temperatures have been rising.

The days are getting longer. There’s a whole bunch of kids on the quad who aren’t wearing a lot of clothing, and they’re doing that slacklining thing where they stretch the ropes between the trees. And who wouldn’t want to let loose and have a little fun? That’s what the spring time is for, is it not?

But unless you’ve been holed up in the library all winter and have been snapping out of bed in the morning to make it to every class, maybe you can’t afford to let things slide right now. I know I can’t. As tough as it sounds, there are a lot of us who need to focus just a little bit longer. We’re like a bunch of Luke Skywalkers trying to resist the temptations of the dark side or something.

Either way, when you’re going to class while everyone else is out showing off their tan, just remember the next season that’s coming up, when you might have a little more free time. What’s that one called again?

COVER DESIGN Michael Zhang EDITOR IN CHIEF Samantha Bakall MANAGING EDITOR Nick Martin ART DIRECTOR Michael Zhang COPY CHIEF Drew Hatcher PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Zach Dalzell IMAGE EDITOR Zach Dalzell PHOTOGRAPHERS Zach Dalzell, Christina Ruiz, Animah Boakye,

Megan Swiertz

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DESIGNERS Lauren Blackburn, Tyler Schmidt MUSIC EDITOR Evan Lyman FOOD & DRINK EDITOR Jasmine Lee MOVIES & TV EDITOR Joyce Famakinwa ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Jessica Bourque COMMUNITY EDITOR Tom Thoren CU CALENDAR Joyce Famakinwa COPY EDITORS Drew Hatcher DISTRIBUTION Brandi and Steve Wills EDITORIAL ADVISER Marissa Monson PUBLISHER Lilyan J. Levant ON THE WEB www.readbuzz.com EMAIL buzz@readbuzz.com WRITE 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL 217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © ILLINI MEDIA COMPANY 2011

» Sleeping with the window open: There’s something magical that happens when the weather finally gets temperate. Suddenly, the campus population seemingly doubles and everybody is a little happier. Some people love to bask in the sunlight during the hot hours of the day or play frisbee on the quad. I’m all about the semi-warm temperatures at night. Nothing makes me happier than being able to fall asleep with the window open when it’s just a touch chilly. I can sleep in shorts and a T-shirt without being too cold, and I can snuggle up under the blankets and not overheat. It’s the best feeling in the world. Add a light breeze and I’m golden. » Venti iced americanos: I constantly crave coffee.

I think it might be bordering on addiction, actually.

When I wake up bleary-eyed and exhausted, the first two things I’m hankering for are a cup of coffee and my contact lenses. At this point, it might even be all cerebral. I haven’t taken the time to try and figure it out because I’ve been too busy drinking it. What could possibly be better than 20 ounces of cold espresso and water to start your day? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It puts a little pep in my step and gets me ready to carpe that diem. A 2000-word story, six interviews and an entire magazine to finish? Consider that shit carped.

Topless Female Dancers

18 to enter • Mon-Thurs 8pm - 1am Fri - Sat 8pm - 2am • $5 Cover (Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

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MARCH 22 - 28, 2012

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MICHAEL ZHANG ART DIRECTOR

LIKES » Meeting Ron Paul: On Wednesday, I got a rare opportunity to meet congressman Ron Paul when he came to Champaign to give a speech.

Don’t ask me how; it’s confidential. But somehow, I ended up in a suit and tie, backstage, working security for the event. I got to shake hands with the doctor himself, I got to eat some of his official strawberries, and I got a better-than-front-row view of his speech. Ideally, I would have taken him to Murphy’s after the speech, and we would’ve discussed the inefficiency of big government over a pitcher of Blue Moon before going to Merry Ann’s at 2 a.m. for a diner stack and a milkshake, but that didn’t happen, unfortunately. I suppose a handshake is good, too.

GRIPES » Laundry: I hope they one day invent a robot that does your laundry for you. It should be called the Laundrobot (copyright 2012 Michael Zhang). Until then, however, I’m forced to do it myself. I’m a busy guy. I’m always at work, in class or at the studio. I go home, sleep, wake up, shower, then leave, and then I repeat that the next day. I don’t have time to sit around and wait for my laundry to wash and dry. And I definitely don’t have time to fold it (I have two piles of clothes in my room, one pile for clean clothes, one pile for dirty clothes. It’s a very efficient system. You should try it.). buzz

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arts

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entertainment

Wise animals

Aesopica begins at the Main Library

by Jamila Tyler

T

he tortoise and the hare. The wolf and the lamb. The eagle and the fox. These animals may bring to mind timeless maxims and phrases such as “slow and steady wins the race” or “a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” They all stem from Aesop’s fables, a group of highly influential morality tales taught the world over.

“He’s a fascinating man, if he is in fact just one man,” said Willis Goth Reiger, director of the University Press and curator of the exhibition “Wise Aesop and His Followers.” “Wise Aesop” is currently showing at the University’s Rare Book and Manuscript Library until April 2. Reiger inherited the exhibition after a former professor left. “The other professor wanted to do a huge thing with all types of Aesop animal stories,” Reiger said. “He couldn’t do it before he left the University, so I took over. It was a great opportunity for me because I had always been fascinated by Aesop.”

Reiger’s interest in Aesop was piqued when he first learned that there was no definitive text available for studying Aesop and his fables while doing research for another book he was writing, In Praise of Flattery. “I found it odd that there was no one true source, seeing as Aesop was and still is a huge part of many people’s childhoods across the world,” Reiger said.

The exhibition itself includes research into the mysterious life of Aesop, who remains one of literary history’s most mysterious figures.

Despite the efforts of many historical scholars, his life remains shrouded in mystery. “Scholars are still trying to figure out who this guy was or even if a man named Aesop wrote the fables at all,” Reiger said. Accounts of Aesop’s life range from him being a strikingly ugly Greek slave who rose through the ranks of society purely through wit and cleverness to him being a black Ethiopian scholar. There is even some skepticism over whether or not Aesop was an actual person or just a pseudonym used by several orators and fabulists. Despite his mysterious identity, it remains a fact that Aesop’s fables have withstood the test of time.

“Wise Aesop” also showcases several examples of Aesop’s fables. “The great thing about Aesop is the breadth of literary material that is attributed to him. No one scholarly collection could represent a small fraction of printings of Aesop’s work worldwide,” Reiger said. Aesop’s fables were found in books throughout time that range from Renaissance and Victorian school books to the first ABC book written in English.

Lecture by Willis Regier on Aesop's Famous Fabels. March, 14, 2012. Photo by Megan Swiertz

Reiger’s favorite part of Aesop’s fables is both the timelessness and universality present within the fables. “Aesop’s fables are a primary reader for school children worldwide,”

says Reiger. “Even if you can’t quite remember the fable, you’ll definitely remember the lesson from it. I would be hard pressed to name a more influential figure in literary history.”

Power to the Power Move Floor Lovers brings uncut, unchoreographed, freestyle expressions of b-boy dance

by Corinne Ruff Since the roots of b-boy, dating back to ‘70s funk, hip-hop dance or breakdancing has been a way to get people to band against gang violence by expressing themselves through a positive art form. By incorporating four areas of expression — b-boying, MCing, DJing and graffiti — hip-hop culture has a place for everyone.

A group dedicated to keeping the spirit of bboy alive, Floor Lovers split from UC Hip Hop Congress in 2007 in order to focus on the dance aspect of the culture.

In regards to the movement, president of the group, Tushar Nagananda, said: “I want to push our culture the right way, and people will only listen to so much.”

That’s where dance comes in. What better way to get people’s attention than by doing a head spin in the Union? The group meets once or twice a week at the ARC to bust some moves and learn new tricks. They also usually coordinate two competitions a semester to put their practice into action.

Tushar explained that the basis of the dance all goes back to Toprock, which originated from ‘70s funk style. Toprock refers to the actual dance or rocking to the beat above the ground, whereas the showy stuff, or footwork, happens on the floor. Toprock is an essential part of b4

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boy that allows for introduction and transition between fancy foot talk and energetic power moves.

Footwork and freezes are a few other layers which add different dimensions to the dance without expending a lot of energy on a power move.

“Footwork really showcases musicality, so in order to compete with power moves, you have to be more dynamic and incorporate level changes,” Tushar said.

Power moves are the crazy stuff you see on America’s Best Dance Crew, more urban dance than b-boy. These are moves derived from gymnastics and may distract the dancer from keeping with the beat, but keep the audience excited. Power moves can consist of flares, windmills and head spins.

Junior Jason Hsieh said he personally favors the intricate combinations of footwork moving with the beat but loves power moves because “they’re the closest to flying as any human person can ever achieve with his two arms and two legs.”

Tushar prides Floor Lovers in being more of a family and less of a crew. As Jason adds, they get together to “have fun and self express — to dance.”

To get involved in the action, check out their next competition, Il Breaks, on April 7. Contact floorlovers@gmail.com for more information.

A dancer performs at Floor Lovers on Saturday, March 10th. Photo by Corinne Ruff

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Pots are thimbles for giants

FOR THE RECORD

MARCH 22 - 28, 2012

New Web Series Week of Friday, March 23 through Thursday, March 29, 2012 All films digitally presented except Agent Vinod The Skin I Live In (La piel que habito) (R); Subtitled Fri: (5:00 PM) | Sat: (2:30 PM) Sun: (4:30 PM) | Thur: 7:30 PM

by Kaitlin Penn

Used with permission from For the Record

I

n need of a new series to watch? You’re in luck, especially if you’re a fan of the Coen brothers’ filmography and the Urbana-Champaign community. Directed by student Adam Dreyfuss, the new web series “For the Record” is the product of students making use of their community. Part comedy and part murder mystery, the web series even has a musical number in it — something for everyone!

Finishing out his senior year at the University, Dreyfuss wanted to help create a formerly nonexistent “organic film scene” where anyone in the community could get involved. The concept of organic filmmaking revolves greatly around the involvement

of students and their use of the two cities surrounding them. All of the actors, directors, composers and choreographers are students, and the final product is for students. Dreyfuss wanted viewers to see the series and say, “Oh, that’s awesome. I live there. I go there,” or at least know that they could be involved in such an organic process if they wanted.

In seven episodes, the series follows the misadventures of a big city gent named Steve Dairy who is transferred to CU for work. But when his new, alcoholic coworker Barry convinces him to solve a murder mystery depicting their boss’s wife’s recent and mysterious death, the two find them-

selves in some interesting fixes around town. Specifically geared towards the U of I crowd, Dreyfuss said that he hopes students will become more unified through watching, and he wants to “paint a sense that [they] can do this,” just like those involved with the series.

“For the Record” goes above and beyond in their effort to remain community oriented, visiting signature spots like the Art Theater, Exile on Main, Cowboy Monkey, and many more. There is plenty to associate personally with the cities and spots. The project was developed and aided by students like sound designer and composer Allison Reitz, whose job it was to find even more locality for the series. “I’m finding music that we can use by local bands,” she says, with the goal of trying to match the amount of local businesses involved in shooting.

Although an overall pleasure to make, the hardest problem proved juggling twenty people’s schedules and filming every day for three weeks. Actor Nick Narcisi, who plays the character Barry, said the hardest challenge from shooting so often has been being “in every episode ... which kind of blindsided me,” but ultimately having it work out. “I’ve seem some of the stuff, and it looks really great,” he says with anticipation.

Look for the series on their website, www. fortherecordcu.com on April 1. Episodes air on Sunday nights.

We Need to Talk About Kevin (R) Fri: 7:30 PM | Sat: (5:00 PM) Sun: 9:00 PM | Wed: 7:30 PM Chico & Rita (NR); Subtitled Fri: 10:00 PM | Sat: (12:30 PM) Tue: 7:30 PM | Thur: 10:00 PM A Dangerous Method (R) Sat: 7:30 PM | Sun: 7:00 PM Mon: 7:30 PM | Wed: (1:30 PM) Opera: La Boheme from the Gran Teatre del Liceu Sun: 1:00 PM | Wed: 4:00 PM Bollywood Film: Agent Vinod (NR); Subtitled From a 35 mm print. $12 for adults, $6 for kids.

Sat: 9:30 PM 126 W. Church St. Take the CUMTD Bus Champaign

www.theCUart.com

SEE IT NOW: MEDICINE FOR MELANCHOLY (2008)

By Joyce Famakinwa

Director: Barry Jenkins Boy and girl meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. Throw in an acceptable “meet cute” and a reason for them to hate each other until they finally end up together, and you have most of Katherine Heigl’s filmography. You won’t find that in Medicine for Melancholy. The film refuses to talk down to its audience by using cliché plot devices (like hate at first sight). It feels too easy to simply categorize this film as a love story.

Things don’t happen in the expected order. Jo and Micah spend the day exploring the city of San Francisco. Wyatt Cenac, most famous for his role as a correspondent on The Daily Show, and newcomer Tracey Heggins play the young couple in question.

Micah has a very specific view of the world, and the two spend the film challenging each other’s views.

In one standout scene, Micah declares that Black History Month takes place in February because it is the shortest month of year. Jo counters this argument by coolly stating the facts. The whole film plays like this.

The couple spends the day talking about race, music, gentrification, identity and the changing city that serves as the film’s backdrop. All of this after an unintentional one night stand. These

Still Photography by David Bornfriend. Used with permission from IFC Films

topics could easily get heavy-handed, but this is avoided by skillful writer/director Barry Jenkins.

Jenkins utilizes the San Francisco setting, creating a sepia-toned vision. The film is an exercise in the art of minimalism.

Medicine for Melancholy is filled with quiet moments between Jo and Micah, and the two are witty yet relatable. The film feels like a stimulating conversation, and by the end of it, we want these characters to stay with us and each other. buzz

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Painting the town red, one Indian holiday at a time Hindu students celebrate Holi, the spring festival of colors

by Avani Chhaya

Students grab the collar of Abhishek Verma during Holi celebrations held on Apr. 24, 2011. Joshua Beckman The Daily Illini

W

ith the onset of spring, a fresh breeze picks up and ruffles your hair in a friendly fashion. The sun starts to beat down the warmth of its rays on your winter-soaked skin as passersby on the street cannot help but smile in your direction.

There is no doubt that spring feels good, especially coming out of a dreadful, unpredictable winter with rain and slush permeating the streets of Champaign-Urbana one day, and flakes of snow the next.

The season of spring also marks a traditional Hindu holiday called Holi, which is the festival of colors, literally.

Asha, a registered student organization working for socio-economic change in India, is putting on a Holi celebration Saturday, April 21, from 12 p.m. to

5 p.m. on the Business Instructional Facility lawns.

Posted on Asha’s website, a video of the Indian holiday starts off with sounds of a sitar strumming in the background, making the delicate twang of the vibrating stringed instrument resonate off the walls of a nearby temple in Spanish Fork, Utah. Against the white, porcelain walls of the temple steps are pink arms, red hair and faces scrubbed with yellow powder thrown into the air.

The dyed powders of the greens, blues and oranges are playfully thrown in the direction of loved ones, strangers and acquaintances so that everyone looks as one colorful collective.

With music being pumped in this video, people are seen bhangra dancing, twisting their left and right hands in the air while moving their shoulders and twisting their bodies with the music.

Srinidhi Balasubramanian, University president of Asha, said “Asha” means hope in Hindi.

The group works toward education for underprivileged children in India, raising between $35,000 and $40,000 per year for educationrelated purposes.

While most Indian holidays are family-centric, this event is very society-centric, said Balasubramanian, a graduate student.

“It’s a societal event,” she said. “It’s a big attraction for the crowd — to introduce Indian culture to the community.”

Laxmi Shastry, president of the Hindu student RSO Dharma, said her group usually puts on a Holi celebration in Illini Grove.

“It’s a festival that takes place in the spring,” said Laxmi, junior in LAS. “From what I know, it’s not a very religious festival. It’s a way for communities to bond with each other.”

This year, however, Asha’s Holi event will be the primary campus celebration of the holiday.

Shastry said Dharma wanted to support Asha’s fundraising efforts instead of having separate functions for the festival.

Balasubramanian said the festival is personally fun, yet it also is an avenue to raise money in support of Asha’s educational mission.

“It’s a very festive moment to be there,” she said. “We also see this as a way to spread [Asha’s] message.”

With last year being the first year the student group put on Holi, the members of Asha were

apprehensive of the turnout, especially with it being midterm time.

“It was a big success last year,” Balasubramanian said. “We hope it’s beyond that this year.”

According to Asha’s website, the mythological tales that surround Holi differ depending on the region of India. Not only is Holi a welcome of the harvest season and an arrival of spring, but it also stems from legends about gods and goddesses.

In South India, Kamadeva, the god of love, foolishly struck Shiva with an arrow, causing the deity to burn him to ash. This resulted in the grief of Kamadeva’s wife. Although Shiva restored Kamadeva to life without a physical form, the songs of Holi are meant to represent the mourning of his wife.

In North India, the demon god Putana is sent to murder the deity Krishna. The defeat of Krishna over the demon god is represented in the hopeful rebirth of spring from the melancholic winter. An alternate story in northern India revolves around an arrogant king who demands allegiance from the people. Prahlad, who defied the king’s wishes, was murdered.

The festival also represents the love between Radha and Krishna, who may have initiated the playful throwing of the colored powder in a friendly and flirtatious manner.

Shastry said the festival is a way to forget about personal differences.

“I am really excited to see a lot of people coming out to learn about Holi,” she said. “Covered in color, we really are united.”

Add some spring to your step Springtime fashion only needs a little thrift and creativity

by Emma Cullen While the recent surge of temperatures seems to suggest the transitional period that is spring will be somewhat brief this year, the lack of traditional spring “sweater weather” does not mean spring fashion has to be skipped, too.

While trends pass year by year, there are several staples that seem to be recurring springtime go-to’s. The season’s central theme is optimism, perhaps better described as an embracing of all things warm as a sartorial celebration at the long-overdue end of unbearable temperatures, winds and sudden storms. As a result, the inclination of spring clothing tends to be toward happy colors and prints.

Cardigans are a versatile way to make an outfit more unique. They are easy to add to a skirt or a jeans and T-shirt combination, yet provide a range of options because they are not color or texture-specific. Right now, I am a big fan of cable knit cardigans, a fashion must that is bountiful at thrift stores for bargain prices. For spring, I 6

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enjoy them in pastel pinks and blues to throw easily over a linen skirt and T-shirt. This outfit is comfortable, yet original, especially if you use fun colors or a vintage T-shirt.

Nothing stirs thoughts of spring like floral, so embrace the weather and add floral to any component of your outfit. More traditional ways to incorporate floral print are through sweaters or blouses; however, adding personal touches is fashion’s principal tenet. You can do so through floral hair accessories or jewelry. I also enjoy pinning floral cloth patches to basic tees. Furthermore, instead of channeling floral on the upper half of your body, try rocking floral print jeans or shorts. They are comfortable and abundant at stores like Urban Outfitters and Forever 21.

Many of my outfits are reminiscent of the ‘90s, and one of my favorite ways to do so is through jelly sandals. Light and girly jelly shoes and sandals circa the fourth grade are cheap, comfortable and nostalgic, the ultimate trio

as far as I am concerned. They work with any outfit and can be worn with skirts in fancier settings or simply with jean shorts. They are so easy to walk in and come in exciting cotton candy-esque colors.

However, it is often easy to feel too monotonous wearing bright colors and flowers all the time. The style becomes too uniform, so to dilute all of the clichéd girly options, put a spin on them. Easy ways to balance the femininity of pinks and sky blues are through cutoff shorts or leather bombers. Military jackets and Dr. Martens also pair well with floral by adding some edge. Cowboy boots are a fun and comfortable way to tone down bright colors, and cheap one-of-a-kind options are readily available at thrift stores. Regardless of how you choose to embrace the new season, remember that, like spring, fashion is about brightness and optimism. Simply have fun getting dressed, and style will come naturally.

Used with permission from Helga Weber and the Creative Commons

readbuzz.com March 22 - 28, 2012

Michael said I could do this

Time to re-learn cursive

Omaha, Nebraska post-hardcore vets come to The High Dive

by Maggie Labno

T

ALBUM

review

Used with permission from Cursive Photo by Daniel Muller.

has not done a rock opera-esque album before, and as Stevens explained, Kasher is more into musicals and show tunes than any other member of the band. By letting Kasher develop this idea, the other members of the band demonstrated the trust they had in him.

“At some point you’re in a band and it’s time to write lyrics and it’s time for someone to step up to the mic, and you really just have to put a lot of faith in that person,” Stevens said. “You can have conversations and you can go over things and read the lyrics before the recording, but really we like the way Tim writes, and that’s why we play.”

Rock opera or not, fans should not think that they are purchasing tickets to a musical. Tracks

ANDREW BIRD

one through thirteen on the album do tell a story, but they will not be played in that order during the live set. There will also be no costumes to match the characters, and no librettos will be handed out at the door.

“Right now we’re just playing tracks and just having a good show,” Stevens said. “We’re mixing the old and the new and kind of trying out some different stuff. It’s interpreting some older stuff and then playing the new stuff — but a little more faithful to the record.”

Since the band released I Am Gemini recently, they don’t have any decided plans for the future.

However, each member of the band is involved in some sort of project. Fans should look forward to the “roots-y and blues-y rock, a little psyche-

BREAK IT YOURSELF

delic” album Stevens is currently working on and Kasher’s follow-up to his first solo record.

Supporting Cursive on this tour are Conduits, also from Omaha, and New York-based indie rock group Cymbals Eat Guitars. Fans should expect a fun night including band-to-crowd interactions.

As Stevens said, Cursive will either keep “a friendly distance or a friendly closeness, depending on what the night calls for.”

briefbox

he last time Cursive played a show in Champaign, roughly four years ago, the band’s guitarist, Ted Stevens, proposed to his wife. Revisiting the place of Stevens’ engagement, Cursive is coming back on March 26 for a performance at the Highdive as a part of Pygmalion Music Festival’s spring show series.

Cursive is an Omaha-based indie rock band, currently composed of Tim Kasher, Matt Maginn, Stevens, Cully Symington and Patrick Newbery.

The Highdive show is just one night of a monthlong tour the band is doing to support the release of their latest album, I Am Gemini. Out on Feb. 21, via Saddle Creek, I Am Gemini modernizes a traditional horror tale of twin brothers separated at birth. The album comes with a libretto, or a playbill, which presents the lyrics as a script; stage direction, narrator and Greco-Roman references are all included.

I Am Gemini is undoubtedly a theatrical record.

Even with the libretto taken away, that element remains in the songs. What such an album should be called wasn’t exactly clear to the band. Since it tells a story, it could be labeled as a concept album.

Cursive has released concept albums before, but none of them had elements of theater so closely associated with them.

“We kind of joke, like, what is it?” Stevens said.

“The little Wikipedia research that we did, we came up with, and I hate to say it, but ‘rock opera.’”

I Am Gemini seems to represent a few firsts for Cursive. The idea behind the album was thought up by Kasher, who is the main songwriter for the band. Kasher, for the first time, wrote the lyrics for the songs in the order they are presented on the album. Another first for the band when working on the record was the tight deadline they put themselves on. Cursive

The High Dive 51 E Main St, Champaign, IL March 26th @7:30 TICKETS: $12 in advance, $15 at door

by Tyler Durgan

★★★★✩

Photo by Jesper Frisk

Ordinarily, science and poetry are mutually exclusive spheres, each world trying to explain life but taking radically different approaches.

But Andrew Bird doesn’t see it that way. Instead, Bird possesses an uncanny ability to marry the two forces and create a musical reflection of life so fresh and unpredictable that Bird seems to capture the exciting and vivacious spirit of life itself. His newest album, Break it Yourself, maintains this lyrical balance with the opening track, “Desperation Breeds,” as Bird parallels a declining honeybee population to anxious stagnancy.

Over swelling violins and the gentle groove of brushes on a snare, the song crescendos with confidence into a violin solo mimicking the flight of a struggling bee.

Following “Desperation Breeds,” the brief, yet precise instrumental piece “Polynation” bridges

into the heart of the album, kicked off by the uplifting “Danse Caribe.” Undoubtedly a highlight of Break it Yourself, “Danse Caribe” recounts Bird’s declaration of autonomy as a toddler when he demanded that his stuffed animals be removed from his crib. The song proceeds with the lightheartedness of childhood, then breaks into a calypso rhythm with a fiddle solo that all seems to replicate the excitement of new independence. The song is inevitably lifting, as Bird’s whistling dances with the steel drums, pushing the mood skyward.

Through much of the album’s other major highlights — lead single “Eyeoneye,” melancholic, post-breakup ballad “Lazy Projector,” and “Lusitania,” a duet with Annie Clark of St. Vincent paralleling the sinking of the famed vessel to the bitter, inexplicable end of a relationship — Bird

manages to maintain a life and energy so undeniably real, one could easily imagine Bird and his backing band in the room with them. Surprisingly, such a picture isn’t far from reality, as Bird and company actually managed to track the album live from inside a barn in only a week. Many of the songs only required two takes to perfect. As a result, the album breathes with the improvisational ease and natural syncopation inherent not only to the performance of talented musicians but also life itself. Break it Yourself is at once both a relatable mirroring of daily life and an ethereal experience that transports the listener outside the moment and allows for quiet reflection. With Break it Yourself, Bird has assembled a collection of songs that showcases his melodic pop-sensibility and his uncanny lyrical prowess and created a living, breathing work of art. buzz

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MUSIC

Welcome Back to earth Earth Analog recording studio is a shrine to the recording process

Top left: Matt Talbott, the owner, outside Earth Analog. Bottom left and Above: Recording equipment located within Earth Analog’s recording studio.

Photo by Zach Dalzell

by Hillary Waldstein

P

arked outside the red brick building on the corner of North Bourne Street in Tolono, Illinois is a rundown pickup truck with two flat tires and a faded coat of lime green paint. The street is quiet and deserted, the weeds are knee-high and most buildings have no street number — most except the brick one on the corner. Inside 7 North Bourne Street is a harmony of rich browns, purples and greens, vintage textiles and handmade, customized audio equipment. It’s the home of Earth Analog, an analog recording studio owned and operated by Matt Talbott. Even without the dark wooden piano at the back of the drum room, or the 800-pound tape deck in the recording studio, a feeling resonates throughout the rooms of Earth Analog that great music will be born.

Former member of the Champaign rock band Hum, Talbott was once a musician who barely knew anything about the behind-the-scenes production of music. Over time, he began wondering what kind of microphone he was using and why it was placed where it was. Now an analog enthusiast, Talbott considers analog recording a craft.

“It’s something you can constantly get better at, which is intriguing to me,” he said.

There are many reasons Talbott prefers analog to digital recording.

8

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“It’s more interesting to me,” he said. “It sounds better, and I think there’s much less of a pain-inthe-ass factor to it in terms of constantly needing to update your OS or your computer. Pretty much any decent analog solution, once you get it — if it works, it always works. I’ve developed a comfort factor with it.”

But digital recording does have its advantages.

Digital recording is more flexible for editing.

Because dragging an 800-pound tape deck to a location is not desirable, Talbott uses digital equipment when he’s working at a location. But for the most part, when he’s doing things his way, the music that starts on a tape stays on a tape.

“Analog is a one-to-one representation of what the microphone is hearing,” Talbott said.

“It preserves that quality. I like the limitations of tape. I like that you have minimal editing capabilities, and I like that you run out of tracks. I think analog sounds better, but it’s more about the process for me.”

Analog recording produces musical artifacts that will maintain their honest, pure sounds twenty years from now.

The success of Earth Analog is much due to Talbott’s coworkers. Aaron McCallister, live soundman and member of The Tractor Kings, and Kyle

Prillaman, house engineer, are active in the local music scene. With a bedtime much later than that of Talbott, McCallister and Prillaman attend shows and keep the studio connected with the local music scene.

The studio was once named Great Western Record Recorders until a group of business students at Millikin University, where Talbott teaches courses on commercial music and music business, conducted a semester long project on the studio. What they hated more than the website was the name. So a little more than a year ago, Talbott changed it to Earth Analog, embedded his business in analog recording, and gave the studio space a facelift.

“I really dug my heels in and said this is going to be an analog joint. Like it or lick it,” explained Talbott of the transformation.

Not only did the transformation bring new energy, but it brought business as well. Talbott and other analog enthusiasts are competing against the notion that all you need for a good quality analog recording is a garage and a microphone.

But Earth Analog has two major assets: a great sounding live room and an apartment upstairs.

The live room is sparse. A drum set stands on a red area rug, a big window in the back casts

dusty sunlight over the wooden piano, and three electric guitars rest against the opposite wall.

Rather than project a feeling onto the musicians, Talbott’s goal is to create an environment that molds to the band’s personality, a place where the band can bring their own vibe.

“I do have a variety of amps and guitars here that clients can use, but when the best work gets done around here, none of that stuff gets touched,” Talbott said. “The best bands are usually the ones who totally know what they want out of their sound, their songs and their performances. I just set up the mics, and it’s all about them — not me or the studio. Those are my favorite sessions, and they almost always yield the best results.”

Bands can work as late as they need and use the apartment upstairs to lounge or sleep overnight.

The apartment has turned Earth Analog into a destination studio for those artists specifically seeking out analog recording. The space harkens back to the days of Jimi Hendrix and The Doors, like a time warp back to the 1960s when faded orange couches and wood paneled cabinets were nothing unusual.

Earth Analog Records is the offspring of the recording studio. Talbott was motivated to develop the label in order to help out some local bands

readbuzz.com March 22 - 28, 2012

Don’t give hate a chance, we’ve got all this love to give.

he thought were talented. The label was a floating idea, and two bands came through in a period of time that was appropriate for it. The first was New Ruins, Talbott’s favorite local band. And the second was DIBIASE, a heavy instrumental outfit that Talbott describes as “fucking awesome.” While neither of the projects are making money, Talbott devotes his time and space simply for worthwhile art, and to help out the bands. The label is an ongoing advertisement for the studio, and it informs Talbott’s teaching at Millikin University, both of which are essential in order to keep the studio running.

There appears to be a perpetual desire for purity among analog aficionados. The sound is clean, and so is the process. It’s devoid of the falsehoods produced by swanky digital equipment.

“I paid $2000 for my Studer 24 a820 24-track recorder,” Talbott asserts, “I think, in many ways, it represents a pinnacle in analog audio engineering technology. It’s not going to end up in a landfill in China in five years. It will be sitting here and,

hopefully, still be recording music. It’s not perfect... it does require maintenance, and tape is, unfortunately, very expensive. But when you look at what you’d have to spend on digital equipment to put together a system that would sound anywhere nearly as good as the Studer — well, it’s not even close.”

There’s an honesty that resonates through analog recordings, as well as through the Earth Analog studio. Talbott claims that his knowledge of music production hasn’t changed his sound as a musician.

If anything, more than his experience in the studio, aging has changed his music. He seems to be very much enjoying the management and ownership aspects of the music industry. “I have days where I’d rather cook for the bands than record their music. When I have time I like to dig in and record music that I like, but I wouldn’t want to work 60 hours a week.”

For more information: earthanalog.com and earthanalogrecords.com

Earth Analog is a record label and an analog recording studio located in Tolono, Illinois. Photo by Zach Dalzell

Low-Cal Music Short Previews for Upcoming Local Shows

by Evan Lyman

Who: AD/HD, Stone-Faced When: Friday, March 23 @ 9 (doors at 8) Where: The Canopy Club Cost: $8 Ages: 18+

Who: Decadents, Neoga Blacksmith When: Friday, March 23 @ 9 Where: Cowboy Monkey Cost: $5 Ages: 19+

Who: Hank, Bedtime, Finishing School When: Friday, March 23 @ 10 (doors at 9) Where: Mike ‘N’ Molly’s Cost: $5 Ages: 19+

I swear almost every adolescent boy goes through an AC/DC phase.

They are a quintessential hard-rock band, and they appeal to what matters most to the young rebel in all of us. They’re primal, gritty, loud, and they rock pretty fuckin’ hard. Plus, all of their songs are about partying, girls, and how hard they rock. For those of us who never got to break out our schoolboy shorts and see AC/DC live, there’s AD/ HD, a spot-on tribute to the Aussies who rocked our oily 12-year-old faces off back in the day. On March 23, they bring their audio “T.N.T.” to The Canopy Club; come out and “WATCH ‘EM EXPLOOOODE!”

Somebody should give Cowboy Monkey a medal for the selection of live bands they’ve been showcasing. Lately, they’ve been bringin’ the Champaign-Urbana community a much-appreciated diet of classic rock and blues acts, and this week they continue that trend. Decadents, fresh off a live performance on the WCIA Morning Show, bring their version of the Zeppelin stomp to the stage accompanied by Neoga Blacksmith, a whiskey-flavored alternative country five-piece. Both bands hail from the CU, and it’s always fun to see the local boys tear it up on-stage.

Hank, the hyperactive math punk trio who just released The Venture EP via their Bandcamp, return to the CU on March 23.

This time, they’ve brought goodies for those of us who still enjoy holding music in our hands! The concert serves as both a “homecoming” show for Hank and a promotional show for the physical release of The Venture EP, which will include a side’s worth of tracks from emo and punk two-piece Bedtime (also performing). Chicago post-hardcore kids Finishing School will open the show. buzz

9

Food

&

Drink

The education of coffee Columbia Street Roastery has a personal investment in roasting coffee beans

by Annalisa Rodriguez

F

ew people view coffee the same way that Alex Kunzelman, head roaster at Columbia Street Roastery, does. For Kunzelman, coffee is of broad interest. If you’re interested in political science, he says, coffee can be a great thing to look at because if a country’s only export is coffee, its economy and government will be set up accordingly. If you’re into science, the chemistry involved in roasting and brewing is fascinating.

And if you’re just a foodie, there are many flavors and tastes in coffee to keep you intrigued.

“There are so many ways to approach it, as an industry or even just as a personal hobby, that it’s very hard to not find something of interest in it,” Kunzelman said. Kunzelman has been head roaster at Columbia Street Roastery, located at 24 E. Columbia Avenue, Champaign, for three and a half years.

The roastery originally began as a by-product of Herriot’s, a tent and event services business. During the winter months, the business needed revenue and found delivering coffee was the solution. A few years later, the business began roasting its own coffee. The roastery offers single origin coffees, which are grown in one specific country; flavored coffees, which have additives; and blends, which are mixes of coffees from different countries.

Roasting coffee is an individualized process, and the same coffee can be roasted in multiple ways. The way that it is roasted will dictate the coffee’s taste.

Meatheads

“Roasting is a lot like cooking a steak,” Kunzelman said. “Some people might prefer it slightly red on the inside; some people might prefer it very cooked all the way through. Coffee can be the same way, so depending on how long you cook it and to what degree you cook it, you’re going to bring out different flavors from the inherent chemical makeup in the coffee bean.”

Columbia Street Roastery sells its coffee to Café Kopi and Aroma Café in Champaign and other vendors throughout central Illinois. The roastery is also starting an international account with Bahrain and Saudi Arabia.

The store places an emphasis on education. Saturday cuppings are available to the public the first Saturday of every month. Cuppings are similar to wine tastings in that different coffees are brewed, and customers taste them to compare the differences.

“If we contrast coffee and wine, a lot of people will understand that a Merlot is going to taste very different from a Shiraz and a Cabernet Sauvignon, and they’ll know a little bit about wine in the sense that different varietals come from different areas and give off different characteristics, and that’s something I think a lot of people naturally understand,” Kunzelman said. “But when it comes to coffee, they often aren’t aware of that.”

The staff of Columbia Street Roastery learn about the coffee industry through trips to pro-

The coffee selection at Columbia Street Roastery. Photo by Megan Swiertz

ducing countries, where they help work on farms.

Kunzelman has traveled to Brazil and the Dominican Republic, and staff members have visited Costa Rica and Nicaragua. “It’s one thing reading about picking trees ... for eight hours a day, but then when you actually go and do it, you really realize how much more work is actually involved,” Kunzelman said. “What it does for farmers is it gives them actual contact to the people that ... consume and purchase their coffees.” He has

found that customers gain a deeper appreciation for coffee after a visit to Columbia Street Roastery.

“A lot of people when they come in here for the first time, are coming from a perspective that they’ve only had maybe Maxwell House or Folgers or Starbucks for that matter, and so when they finally have what we consider higher quality coffee, they react much more positively to it and are very surprised that coffee actually had different tastes and flavors in it.”

The new burger joint in Champaign offers adventurous options alongside the traditional

by Jordan Ramos

Meatheads "Burgers &Fries." Photo by Animah Boakye.

Brand new to Champaign, Meatheads is doing just what their motto claims to do and “going beyond the burger.” Although chicken and hot dogs can be found on the menu as well, Meatheads, located at 1305 S. Neil St., prides itself on their 100% Angus beef burgers.

Upon first seeing the Meatheads menu, I was pleased to find that there were multiple ways to order a burger here. The first choice is to just or10

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der an Original Meathead, which comes with two beef patties, ketchup, mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and your choice of raw or grilled onions. If you’re one to specialize your order, you’re also given the option to build your own Meathead.

The range of toppings available goes from relatively general fare like bacon and mushrooms to unique options such as avocado, pineapple or sauerkraut.

If you’re looking for a burger with more of an at-

titude, Meatheads has specialty burgers to satisfy adventurous palates. An example of a specialty burger is the Cajun Sunrise, which offers a beef patty, fried egg, pepper jack cheese, bacon, bleu cheese dressing, lettuce, tomatoes and fresh jalapenos. Also offered is Meatheads’ own version of a reuben, which comes with 1/3 pound Angus beef, marble rye bread, swiss cheese, thousand island dressing, grilled onions and sauerkraut. The Patty Melt, Californian, Texas Ranch and Hawaiian Burgers round out the specialty burgers.

To see what Meatheads was building all of its other burgers on, I ordered an Original Meathead with everything. When I told the cashier I would also like fries with my burger, I was given the option of regular or Cajun. Always intrigued by more flavor, I told her Cajun sounded good, and she agreed with me, stating that the Cajun fries were her favorite. I appreciated her vote of confidence.

I also noticed they had some dipping sauces on the menu, so I ordered bacon ranch sauce for my Cajun fries.

The seating in Meatheads is ideal for larger groups. The booths can seat five to seven people, and all age groups were present when I was there.

I found a seat with my friends and went to fill my drink. But Meatheads does not have an ordinary

soda fountain; they have Coca-Cola’s 100-Flavor Interactive Freestyle Soda Fountain. This means that yes, they have original Coke, but they also have flavors such as lime, vanilla, raspberry, orange or cherry Coke. Sprite is available in six different flavors, Fanta has seven, lemonade has four and Mr. Pibb is available in a multitude of flavors as well. Picking what you’d like to drink is as much fun as picking what you’d like on the burger.

For being cooked to order, the food arrived relatively quickly. I was immediately pleased to see that they give a generous amount of fries.

The Cajun fries were a good choice, as they added a little flavor to the fry, making them all the more enjoyable. After I tore myself away from the fries, I inspected the burger to see what I was working with. They definitely didn’t skimp on toppings. Most noticeably, I had four full-sized pickle slices on my burger, ensuring I got juicy pickle in every bite. Meatheads gives you what you pay for.

The burger itself was more than satisfying. I found it a little on the greasy side, but that didn’t take away from the flavor at all. I found by the time it came to my last couple bites, I still had the perfect ratio of burger to bun. After one visit, I have deemed Meatheads my go-to burger joint.

CALENDAR

MARCH 22 - 28, 2012

Complete listing available at

THE217.COM/CALENDAR

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 22

Chillax with DJ Belly and Matt Harsh Art & other exhibits Radio Maria Carolee Schneemann: 10pm Within and Beyond the Keith Harden solo acoustic music Premises The Clark Bar Krannert Art Museum 6:30pm and Kinkead Pavilion DeathTram 9am Fifty Years: Contempo- Cowboy Monkey 10pm rary American Glass from Illinois CollecMind, body, & spirit tions Krannert Art Museum Open Yoga Practice and Kinkead Pavilion with Corrie Proksa 9am Amara Yoga & Arts After Abstract Expres- 5:30pm sionism Ashtanga Yoga with Krannert Art Museum Lauren Quinn and Kinkead Pavilion Amara Yoga & Arts 9am 5:30pm Jerusalem Saved! InCandlelight Vinyasa ness and the Spiritual Flow Yoga with Luna Landscape Pierson Krannert Art Museum Amara Yoga & Arts and Kinkead Pavilion 7pm 9am Yin Yoga with Lauren Fragments: Recent Quinn Paintings by Kenneth Amara Yoga & Arts Hall 7pm Parkland Art Gallery Miscellaneous 10am “Wise Animals: Aesop Coffee Hour and His Followers” University YMCA Exhibition 7:30pm U of I Main Library Live Career Help 8:30am Rantoul Public Library Bringing Faith & Art 2pm to Life: Works of Shari Yarn ‘n Yak LeMonnier Rantoul Public Library Unitarian Universalist 7pm Movement of UrbanaSports, games, & Champaign recreation 8am “Where the Wild Woodcock Walk Things Glow” PaintMuseum of the Grand ings by Hua Nian Prairie Amara Yoga & Arts 7pm 9am

Classes, lectures, & workshops Preschool Story Time Rantoul Public Library 10am Raising Readers Rantoul Public Library 10:30am

Huck Fate Cowboy Monkey 9pm DJ Delayney Highdive 10pm Karaoke with DJ Hanna Phoenix 9pm Keith Harden Acoustic Red Star Liquors 5pm

Mind, body, & spirit Power Flow Yoga with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts 12pm Yoga Classes Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 12pm Vinyasa Krama Yoga with Don Briskin Amara Yoga & Arts 4:15pm Happy Hour Hot Flow Yoga with Luna Pierson Amara Yoga & Arts 5:30pm

Miscellaneous Live Career Help Rantoul Public Library 2pm Book Sale Rantoul Public Library 12pm

Movies & theater Psychic Joker & C-U Confidential present Time Traveling Cinema SoDo Theatre 10pm

FRIDAY 23

SATURDAY 24

Classes, lectures, & workshops

Live music & karaoke

Livers of the Rivers-Freshwater Mussels of Illinois Homer Lake Interpretive Center, 7pm

Keith Harden solo acoustic music Huber’s 8pm Salsa night with DJ Juan Radio Maria 10:30pm BK Productions Karaoke El Toro Bravo, 9pm Concert by Trent Romens Sleepy Creek Vineyards 7pm

Live music & karaoke

Live music & karaoke

Liquid Courage Karaoke Memphis on Main 9pm Boom Chick Canopy Club 9pm

Late Night with DJ Belly Radio Maria, 10pm Candy Foster and the Shades Of Blue!

Memphis on Main 9pm

Kilborn Alley Blues Band w/ Special Guest The Martini Brothers!

Memphis on Main 7pm Mike & Kayla Cowboy Monkey 10pm Cloud Gavin ft. Kirby Jayes Indi Go Artist Co-op 8pm English Country Dancing Phillips Recreation Center 7pm

Miscellaneous NANO Days Champaign Public Library 1pm Live Career Help Rantoul Public Library 2pm Book Sale Rantoul Public Library 9:30am

SUNDAY 25 Classes, lectures, & workshops West African Dance Classes with Djibril Camara Channing-Murray Foundation 6pm

Live music & karaoke Keith & Kathy Harden & Andy Baylor acoustic trio Boomerang’s Bar and Grill 6pm Slow Flow Yoga with Kate Insolia Amara Yoga & Arts 2:30pm Yoga for Men, Dudes and Regular Guys with Jim Rector Amara Yoga & Arts 6:30pm Happy Challenge Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts 4pm Gentle Yoga with Rebekah Deter Amara Yoga & Arts 9am

Sports, games, & recreation Big Dave’s Trivia Cowboy Monkey 7pm Sunday Late Night Student Special Illini Union 9pm

Miscellaneous Lounge Night Radio Maria 10pm Live Career Help Rantoul Public Library 2pm

Gloria Roubal & Megan Johns The Clark Bar, 7pm U.S. Army Band Woodwind Quintet Smith Memorial Hall 11am

“Where the Wild Things Glow” Paintings by Hua Nian Amara Yoga & Arts 9am

Sports, games, & recreation

Mind, body, & spirit

Raising Readers Rantoul Public Library 3:30pm Luncheon and South Midlands Dialect Discussion Rantoul Public Library 11:30am

MONDAY 26

Bingo Night Memphis on Main Art & other exhibits 10pm Dinner & Bowling Fragments: Recent Paintings by Kenneth Special Illini Union Hall 4pm Parkland Art Gallery 10am “Wise Animals: Aesop TUESDAY 27 and His Followers” Classes, lectures, & Exhibition workshops U of I Main Library 8:30am Using Animals in ReBringing Faith & Art search Saves Lives to Life: Works of Shari Veterinary Teaching LeMonnier Hospital - Small Animal Unitarian Universalist Clinic Movement of Urbana5:30pm Champaign Home School Program: 8am Native Americans “Where the Wild Museum of the Grand Things Glow” PaintPrairie ings by Hua Nian 9am Amara Yoga & Arts Illinois Green Business 9am Networking Event 133 West Main Classes, lectures, & 5:30pm workshops Saying Goodnight to Sleeping Difficulties: Poetry Workshop Red Herring Coffeehouse Easy as A, B, Zzzzz...

University YMCA 7:30pm 7pm ‘80s Night Highdive Food & festivals 10pm Meet the Buyers for Live music & Fruit & Vegetable karaoke Farmers Champaign County Farm Lounge Night Bureau Radio Maria 8pm 10pm Food Hub Summit WPCD Presents: Champaign County Farm Cursive Bureau Highdive 7pm 7:30pm

Mind, body, & spirit Live music & Restorative Yoga with karaoke Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts 7pm Hatha Yoga with Grace Giorgio Amara Yoga & Arts 5:30pm Power Flow Yoga with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts 12pm

Tango Tuesdays at McKinley Foundation McKinley Presbyterian Church and Foundation 7pm Piano Man Canopy Club 9pm Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey 10pm

Vinyasa Flow Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts 12pm Slow Flow yoga with Amanda Reagan Amara Yoga & Arts 5:30pm

Sports, games, & recreation

Classes, lectures, & workshops

Live music & karaoke

312 Vibe Night Canopy Club 9pm Dinner & Bowling Open Decks with DJ Special Belly Illini Union, 4pm Radio Maria 10pm WEDNESDAY 28 Tango Dancing Art & other exhibits Cowboy Monkey Carolee Schneemann: 8pm Within and Beyond the Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey Premises 10pm Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion Mind, body, & spirit 9am Fifty Years: Contempo- Open Yoga Practice rary American Glass with Corrie Proksa from Illinois CollecAmara Yoga & Arts tions 5:30pm Krannert Art Museum Kettlebell RKC Russian and Kinkead Pavilion Style 9am Truly Fit, 6:30pm After Abstract Expres- Yoga Wednesdays sionism Indi Go Artist Co-op Krannert Art Museum 7pm and Kinkead Pavilion Hatha Flow with Linda 9am Lehovec Jerusalem Saved! InAmara Yoga & Arts ness and the Spiritual 5:30pm Landscape Ashtanga Full Primary Krannert Art Museum Series with Lauren and Kinkead Pavilion Quinn 9am Amara Yoga & Arts Members’ Night 7pm Krannert Art Museum Yoga Fundamentals and Kinkead Pavilion with Grace Giorgio 5:30pm Amara Yoga & Arts “Wise Animals: Aesop 4:15pm and His Followers” Miscellaneous Exhibition U of I Main Library Live Career Help 8:30am Rantoul Public Library Bringing Faith & Art 2pm to Life: Works of Shari Sports, games, & LeMonnier recreation Unitarian Universalist Movement of UrbanaPokemon Fan Club Champaign Rantoul Public Library 8am 4pm buzz

11

THIS WEEK

2012(MAR22)3qUARTER(bUzz) March 22 - 28, 2012

readbuzz.com

buz z ’s

WEEK AHEAD buzz Music Reviews readbuzz.com

FROM NOW ON

Explanation: Lately, a series of unfortunate events (in no way related to those detailed in the series of children’s novels

by Lemony Snickett) has led to the decline in the frequency of music reviews appearing on readbuzz.com. NO MORE! From now on, we will be providing buzz readers with weekly reviews of national, global, and local releases. Remember those cute little bees that we used to rate albums? They’re back and cuter than ever. We at buzz understand; sometimes it’s hard to sort out the bazillions of music files being thrown across the interwebs these days. That’s why we’re here, to provide you with our subjective opinions on whatever new music is coming out, and help you figure out what’s worth listening to. Theoretically, you could decide for yourself, but who wants to do that?

KR ANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS THESE SPONSORS MAKE GOOD STUFF HAPPEN:

WE MAR 28

7:30pm

Elliot Chasanov, trombone

7:30pm

Ragamala Dance: Sacred Earth

// School of Music // Marquee

Ragamala Dance: Sacred Earth

TH MAR 29

5pm

Krannert Uncorked

7:30pm

Lady Macbeth: A Kabuki Play

// Marquee // Depar tment

of Theatre

This presentation is supported by the MetLife Community Connections Fund of the New England Foundation for the Arts’ National Dance Project.

Major support for NDP is also provided by the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation with additional support from The Andrew W. Mellon Foundation.

— Evan Lyman, Music Editor

Mad Men AMC

March 25, 2012

More than half of the season’s direct costs* are covered by donations. Without this support, Krannert Center’s Marquee series would be so much less. Less impact.

Less joy. Less inspiration.

TVs Everywhere

The wait is over, Mad Men returns for its fifth season. There has not been much preview for the new season. Last we left one character is got engaged, one got a promotion, and another saved the agency.

Remember that guy in the suit? He’ll be back! What about the lady with the hips?

She’s back too! Is there going to be some tumultuous cultural upheaval due to 1960’s information technologies and integration movement? You bet your sweet bippy there will be! — Joyce Famakinwa, Movies

Thank a donor today. Be a donor today. *SUSTAINED CORE FUNDING FROM THE UNIVERSIT Y SUPPORTS NEARLY ALL OF THE INDIRECT COSTS, SUCH AS STAFF AND UTILITIES.

and TV Editor

“Wise Animals: Aesop and His Followers” Jan. 20 - April 6 The Rare Book & Manuscript Library 346 Main Library (MC-522) 1408 W. Gregory Dr., U.

C A L L 3 3 3 . 6 2 8 0 • 1. 8 0 0 . K C P A T I X

Stop by and check out the RBML’s excellent collection of works related to Aesop and his fables. There’s one about a pig. Another about a bird. Did you hear the one about a the priest and the rabbi who walk into a bar? Rumor has it, Aesop himself will make an appearance wearing his trademark robe. It’s gonna be a riot! Look out world, it’s fable time. — Tracy Woodley, Arts & Entertainment Editor

12

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Corporate Power Train Team Engine

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council—a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

40 North and Krannert Center —working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

(Green & Lincoln)

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020

Part time Delivery Drivers Wanted

Jimmy John's is seeking drivers. Up to $20/hr. Apply at 45 E. Green, Champaign location or email resume to sshoemaker@jimmyjohns.com.

FOR RENT

rentals

APARTMENTS

Furnished

1, 2 & 4 Bedroom FREE INTERNET

$399 Special FREE INTERNET

420 APARTMENTS (217) 337-8852

3 Bedroom ApArtments

Charmor Apartments 107 East Chalmers, Champaign  Fully Furnished

905 S. Locust 2br/balcony/laundry on site Newer furniture and flooring $750-795 Parking $35-50 217-766-2245

www.nogleproperties.com

(217) 337-7990

NO FoOLING AROUND Units Completed by June 1st!

906-908 S. Locust, C. Locust III offering 1 bedroom units available for 2012.

Some units pet friendly. Schedule an appointment today!

217-367-2009 www.tricountymg.com

3 bedrooms

CHEAP

John/Healey

Furnished 1 & 2 bedroom near John & Second Studios on Healey and First $345/mo. Available August 2012. Call 356-1407

1 Bedroom Apts with PAID UTILITIES!

420 APARTMENTS

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102 S. LINCOLN 203URBANA S. FOURTH (Green & Lincoln) CHAMPAIGN 1,2,2,33&&44Bedroom Bedroom FREE INTERNET (217) 337-8852 www.mhmproperties.com (217) 337-8852 ---------www.mhmproperties.com ----------

FREE INTERNET 1 Bedroom FREE INTERNET (217) 337-8852 www.mhmproperties.com (217) 337-8852 ---------www.mhmproperties.com ----------

203 S.E. FOURTH 311 Clark CHAMPAIGN 1, 2, 23 Bedroom & 4 Bedroom FREE INTERNET

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Furnished www.mhmproperties.com

420 APARTMENTS

(217) 337-8852

Furnished www.mhmproperties.com

420

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101 S. BUSEY URBANA

805 S. LOCUST CHAMPAIGN

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(217) 337-8852 www.mhmproperties.com ---------More information, floor plans, interior pictures, etc. www.mhmproperties.com (217) 337-8852

2 & 4 Bedroom Apts BI-LEVEL

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(217) 337-8852 www.mhmproperties.com N OW ---------LEAS ING! More information, floor plans, interior pictures, etc. www.mhmproperties.com (217) 337-8852 Take a virtual tour at www.bankierapts.com Call 217.328.3770 to set up an appointment

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3 &1 4Bedroom Bedrooms FREE BIG TVINTERNET & JACUZZI FREE INTERNET (217) 337-8852 www.mhmproperties.com (217) 337-8852 ---------www.mhmproperties.com ----------

Sign by April 15th and get a 32” TV installed in your bedroom or get $300 off a year Amenities at 51 E. John St., Champaign

1 and 2 Bedroom Apartment $395-495/month Washer/Dryer August 2012 217-841-5407

(217) 337-8852 www.mhmproperties.com ----------

605 205E. S.CLARK SIXTH CHAMPAIGN

705 S. First St., C Only one 3 bedroom with laundry left for 2012! No pets. Schedule an appointment today.

217-367-2009 www.tricountymg.com

Great Campus Locations. Furnished & Remodeled. Fall 2012.

2 baths, free parking and laundry.

778-2094.

Furnished www.mhmproperties.com

$399 Special FREE INTERNET

808 S. OAK 101 BUSEY CHAMPAIGN March 22 - 28, 2012S. readbuzz.com URBANA 2, 3 & 4 Bedrooms

101 E. DANIEL 605 E. CLARK CHAMPAIGN 1, 2 & 4 Bedroom CHAMPAIGN

 Heat, Water, Internet  Great Management

420

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• Washer/Dryer in Unit • Heated & secure underground • 1 block from 22 bus parking line • Fully equipped gym • Large screen TV in • Balconies each unit Go to www.maywoodapts.com | Call 217.344.3677 stop by our office at 610 S. Sixth St., Champaign

www.WamplerApartments.com 602 E. Clark St.

furnished effiencies • $425/mo

711 W. Main St., U

furnished studios • $525/mo

406 E. Clark St.

furnished 1BR’s • from $530/mo

807-809 W. Illinois

furnished 1BR’s • $581/mo

604 E. Clark St.

furnished 1BR’s • from $580/mo

106 E. John St.

wood floors 1BR’s • $679/mo

505 S. Busey Ave.

furnished 2BR’s • $795/mo

30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

1 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 520-570 911 W. Springfield, U $ 525-595 1004 W. Springfield, U $ 499-529 2 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 695-$740 111 S. Lincoln, U $ 795 3 Bedroom 1010 W. Springfield U $ 999-1272 4 Bedroom 1010 W. Springfield, U $ 1696

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2, 3 & 4 Bedrooms (217) $399337-8852 Special www.mhmproperties.com FREE INTERNET ---------(217) 337-8852 www.mhmproperties.com ---------3 & 4 Bedrooms BIG TV & JACUZZI FREE INTERNET 1 Bedroom Apts with (217)UTILITIES! 337-8852 PAID www.mhmproperties.com ---------(217) 337-8852 www.mhmproperties.com ----------

205 S. SIXTH CHAMPAIGN 101 S. BUSEY URBANA

808 S. OAK 805 S. LOCUST CHAMPAIGN 2, 3 & 4 Bedrooms CHAMPAIGN

WALK TO CAMPUS! •Walk to U of I Campus – Apartments & Houses only 1 to 4 blocks away!

•Laundry in Apartment, Furnished, Internet •1,2,3 Bedroom Apartments •2,3,4 Bedroom Houses

Special 2 &$399 4 Bedroom Apts FREE INTERNET BI-LEVEL

a

Garage Sales

• 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

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101 E. DANIEL CHAMPAIGN employment

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For Info: (217) 344-3008 911 W. Springfield, Urbana www.BaileyApartments.com

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STOUGHTON STREET APARTMENTS!

805 S. LOCUST CHAMPAIGN

Bedroom Apts 5082 &E4BI-LEVEL Stoughton

-2 bdrm or 1 bdrm w/ (217) 337-8852 study $700 base rent. www.mhmproperties.com ----------2 bdrm startingfloor at plans, More information, interior pictures, etc. $795 base rent. www.mhmproperties.com (217) 337-8852 -Fully furnished with new furniture!

-Flat Screen TV!

510 E Stoughton -2 bdrm starting at $995 base rent.

-Completely remodeled!

-New kitchen with a dishwasher and washer/ dryer in each unit!

-Flat Screen TV!

512 E Stoughton -2 bdrm or 1 bdrm w/ study $750 base rent.

-2 bdrm starting at $850 base rent.

-Fully furnished with new furniture!

-Flat Screen TV!

Check out the other JSM 2 bedrooms: 701 S Gregory, 1001 W Clark, 303 S Wright, Lando Place (707 S Sixth) 217.359.6108 • 505 S. Fifth St. • Champaign, IL • www.jsmapts.com buzz

13

March 22 - 28, 2012

APARTMENTS

readbuzz.com 420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

SPRING BREAK SPECIAL

Furnished

Near Lincoln & Green $765.00/mo. (upper floors) Nicely furnished

344-3008 Bailey Apts.

420 APARTMENTS Unfurnished

106 E. Daniel 111 E. Healey 306-308-309 E. White 509 E. White 604 E. White 605 S. Fifth

Free Heat and Water Plus Trash Pickup $99 SECURITY DEPOSIT

Now leasing for August 2012 Landmark Apartments 502 West Main, Urbana 217-384-5876 or 217-841-9940 www.landmarktoday.com

The University Group

www.BaileyApartments.com

landmark-apts@sbcglobal.net

217-352-3182 2 Bedroom 58 E. John 103 E. Stoughton 106 E. Daniel 211 E. John 307-309 E. Healey 510 S. Elm 602 E Stoughton 503-505-508 E. White 604 E. White 605 S. Fifth 1006 S. Third 705 W. Stoughton 309 N. Busey

ONE, TWO AND THREE BEDROOMS

3/4 Bedroom

$343/person $325/person $405/person $445/person $398/person $313/person $393/person $395/person $495/person

58 E. John (3) 307-309 E. Healey (3) 306-308-309 E. White (3) 411 E. Healey (4) 503-505-508 E. White (3) 705 W. Stoughton (3) 106 E. Daniel (4) 203 S. Sixth (4)

$309/person

Locked underground garage, carport parking

$360/person

Limited Free Parking

1405 W. Kirby, C PRICES SLASHED! Available Now 2 bdrms from $460/mo.

Remodeled Units, Laundry facilities, Parking.

Barr Real Estate, Inc. 1710 S. Neil, C 217-365-1873

$398/person $277/person $265/person $360/person $298/person

$495/person

Old-Town/DownTown Champaign

$348/person $313/person

www.universitygroupapartments.com Unfurnished

430 APARTMENTS Unfurnished

Not sleeping well?

1 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 520-570 911 W. Springfield, U $ 525-595 1004 W. Springfield, U $ 495-529

* DSL Available * Furnished

$ 695 (1 Left) $ 765

3 Bedroom 1010 W. Springfield, U 111 S. Lincoln, U

* 2 Blocks to Grainger * Parking Available

2 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U 111 S. Lincoln, U

* On engineering & comptuer science campus (Urbana Side).

* Microwave * Dishwashers (In 2-3-4 Br Apt) * Central A/C (in most apts)

$1140 (2 Left) LEASED

* 24 Hr. Maintenance * Laundry * No Pets

4 Bedroom

* Garbage Included

1010 W. Springfield, U $1560-1696 111 S. Lincoln, U LEASED

* Mo. Preventitive Pest Control

For Info: (217) 344-3008 911 W. Springfield, Urbana www.BaileyApartments.com 14

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Place classified ads and shout outs online anytime. Classifieds at dailyillini.com

1 & 2 Bedrooms Now Available.

Locations: 406 & 515 W. Washington. From $450. Call 217-352-8540 for showing. View at www.faronproperties.com

430 SUBLETS

440

AVAILABLE NOW 1 bed in 3 bed apt available now!

350/mo OBO. Contact stanek2@illinois.edu 101 E. Green AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY thru July 31 1 BR in 2 BR apartment FREE Underground Parking $475.00 plus utilities Will have apartment to yourself mid-May thru July 31 Other occupant easy to live with Call or text 217-714-3016

510

Fall 2012 3 bedroom 2 bath house. Great Campus Locations.

778-2094

cu-homes.com

Fall, choose from the best furnished rental homes in Champaign-Urbana.

Ted Pfeffer 766-5108

311 S. Randolph

August 2012 Beautiful furnished, 5 Bedroom, 3 Bathroom home.

(217) 766 5108

House for Rent

5-8 people, 2 baths, free parking, porch, laundry, basement.

344-6576

712 W California in Urbana Available 2012. 10 bedroom, 2 bathroom house, washer & dryer, and close to all bus lines. $269/room.

Call George (217) 367 6626

$265/person

$495/person

APARTMENTS

430 HOUSES FOR RENT

1406 W Springfield, Champaign Beautifully remodeled 4BR/2BA house. $1500/mo. Half off first month rent. rpareigis@yahoo.com (217)202-4555 (Elton)

RENT AS LOW AS $420

RENT AS LOW AS $385 111 E. Healey 307-309 E. Clark 306-308-309 E. White 307-310 E. White 506 E. Stoughton 509 E. White

111 S. Lincoln Ave., Urbana

Furnished

1 Bedroom

Studio

Two Bedroom Apartments

420 APARTMENTS

Fall 2012

CAMPUS HOUSES 312 E. Clark, 4-5 person 303 S. Fifth, 4-5 person www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852

Donato Financial (773) 217-8491

9-12 Bedroom Houses 1004 Lincoln,U. $6,250.00 802 Lincoln,U. $4,750.00 806 Ohio, U. $5,200.00 4 Bedroom Apartment 702 W. Green, U. $1,700.00 2/3 Bedroom Condos 802 W. Springfield, U. $1,200.00 Spring Semester Room leases still available. $425.00 amount includes utilities.

ROOMS

530

Campus rooms for rent from $290.

367-6627

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 Available Now Share deluxe, furnished, 3 BR apartment at 205 E Clark.

Available now and Spring Semester.

Ted 766-5108.

PARKING / STORAGE 570 STORAGE RENTALS OPEN 6x7, 10x12, 12x24.

Discount with student ID. 217-384-5302 Own your own storage. ownyourowninc@yahoo.com

readbuzz.com March 22 - 28, 2012

What goes well with whiskey?

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES

March 21-April 19

A few months after America invaded Iraq in 2003, soldier Brian Wheeler wrote the following to help us imagine what it was like over there: “Go to the worst crime-infested place you can find. Go heavily armed, wearing a flak jacket and a Kevlar helmet. Set up shop in a vacant lot. Announce to the residents that you are there to help them, and in the loudest voice possible yell that every Crip and Blood within hearing distance is a PANSY.” As a character-building exercise, Aries, I highly recommend you try something like this yourself. APRIL FOOL! I was just kidding. What I just said is not an accurate reading of the astrological omens. But this is: Get out of your comfort zone, yes, but with a smart gamble, not a crazy risk.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

March 22 – 28, 2012

performing a do-it-yourself exorcism of your own memories.

LIBRA

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

GEMINI

SAGITTARIUS

Do not under any circumstances put on a frog costume, go to a shopping mall, and ride around on a unicycle while reciting erotic poetry in German through a megaphone. APRIL FOOL! I lied. That wouldn’t be such a terrible use of your time. The astrological omens suggest that you will be visited by rather unusual creative surges that may border on being wacky. Personally, though, I would prefer it if you channeled your effervescent fertility in more highly constructive directions, like dreaming up new approaches to love that will have a very practical impact on your romantic life.

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

CANCER

June 21-July 22

Back in 1835, a newspaper known as The New York Sun resorted to an extreme measure in order to boost readership: It ran a story about how the renowned astronomer Sir John Herschel had perfected a telescope that allowed him to see life forms on the moon, including unicorns, two-legged beavers that had harnessed fire, and sexually liberated “manbats.” If I’m reading the astrological omens correctly, Cancerian, you temporarily have license to try something almost equally as wild and experimental to “boost your readership.” APRIL FOOL! I lied about the unicorns. Don’t refer to cliched chimeras like them. But it’s fine to invoke more unexpected curiosities like fire-using beavers and sexually liberated manbats.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

In his documentary film Prohibition, Ken Burns reports on the extreme popularity of alcohol in 19th-century America. He says that the typical person over 15 years of age drank 88 bottles of whiskey a year. In light of the current astrological omens, Leo, I suggest you increase your intake to that level and even beyond. APRIL FOOL! I lied. It’s not literal alcoholic spirits you should be ingesting in more abundance, but rather big ideas that open your mind, inspirational sights and sounds that dissolve your inhibitions, and intriguing people who expand your worldview.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

A woman in Euclid, Ohio claims her house is haunted by randy ghosts. “They have sex in my living room,” Dianne Carlisle told a TV news reporter. “You can see the lady’s high-heeled shoes.” I suspect you may soon be dealing with a similar problem, Virgo. So consider the possibility of hiring an X-rated exorcist. APRIL FOOL! The naked truth is that you will not be visited by spooks of any kind, let alone horny ones. However, you would be smart to purify and neutralize old karma that might still be haunting your love life or your sex life. Consider

“Double Scoop”--everything sorta melted together.

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

SCORPIO

Photographer Darrin Harris Frisby doesn’t think people should smile in photographs. He regards it as “superficial and misleading.” In the greatest portraits ever painted, he says, the subject’s gaze is almost always neutral, “neither inviting nor forbidding.” Did Rembrandt ever show people grinning from ear to ear?

No. Did Vermeer, Goya, Titian, Sargent, or Velasquez?

Nope. Make that your guiding thought in the coming week, Gemini. Be a connoisseur of the poker face. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, in the coming week you will have more than ample reasons to be of good cheer. You should therefore express delight extravagantly.

by Matt Jones

: In Karley Sciortino’s NSFW blog Slutever.com, she announces that “this blog is intended to trick strangers into thinking my life is more exciting than it actually is.”

I highly recommend you adopt that approach, Libra.

Do whatever it takes -- lying, deceiving, exaggerating, bragging -- to fool everyone into believing that you are a fascinating character who is in the midst of marvelous, high-drama adventures. APRIL FOOL! I wasn’t totally sincere about what I just said. The truth is, your life is likely to be a rousing adventure in the coming days.

There’ll be no need to pretend it is, and therefore no need to cajole or trick others into thinking it is.

According to a recent poll, God’s approval rating has dipped below 40 percent for the first time on record.

My research suggests the new low is due in part to a disproportionate amount of dissatisfaction by those born under the sign of Taurus. Can you fix this please?

If you’re one of the discontent, please see if you can talk yourself into restoring some of your faith in the Divine Wow. APRIL FOOL! The real truth is, I encourage you to be skeptical in regards to all authorities, experts, and topdogs, including God. It’s an excellent time in your cycle to go rogue, to scream “I defy you, stars!” Be a rabble-rousing, boat-rocking doubter.

May 21-June 20

jone sin’

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem,” said author William Gibson, “first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a--holes.”

This is a good time to check in with yourself, Scorpio, and see if Gibson’s advice applies to you. Lately, the jackass quotient seems to have been rising in your vicinity. APRIL FOOL! I was half-joking. It’s true that you should focus aggressively on reducing the influence of jerks in your life. At the same time, you should also ask yourself rather pointedly how you could reduce your problems by changing something about yourself.

In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel The Great Gatsby, Daisy Buchanan is stirred to the point of rapture by Jay Gatsby’s silk shirts. “I’ve never seen such beautiful shirts before,” she sobs, burying her face in one as she sits in his bedroom. I sincerely hope you will have an equivalent brush with this kind of resplendence sometime soon, Capricorn. For the sake of your mental and even physical health, you need direct contact with the sublime. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. It’s true that you would profoundly benefit from a brush with resplendence. But I can assure you that plain old material objects, no matter how lush and expensive, won’t do the trick for you.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

Last December a woman in Tulsa, Oklahoma made creative use of a Wal-Mart. She gathered various ingredients from around the shelves, including lighter fluid, lithium, and drain cleaner, and set up a meth lab right there in the back of the store. She’s your role model for the coming week, Aquarius. APRIL FOOL! I lied, kind of. The woman I mentioned got arrested for illegal activity, which I don’t advise you to do. But I do hope you will ascend to her levels of ingenuity and audacity as you gather all the resources you need for a novel experiment.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

A Filipino man named Herbert Chavez has had extensive plastic surgery done to make himself resemble Superman. Consider making him your role model, Pisces. I hope he inspires you to begin your own quest to rework your body and soul in the image of your favorite celebrity or cartoon hero. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, you’d be wise to avoid comparing yourself to anyone else or remolding yourself to be like anyone else. The best use of the current cosmic tendencies would be to brainstorm about what exactly your highest potentials are, and swear a blood oath to become that riper version of yourself.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.

Across

1 Just barely covering, with “over” 9 Change for the better 14 1970s-80s sitcom signoff 15 Hardin of “The Office” 17 Double scoop that’s part sugary nuts, part three-flavored 19 Visibly took notice 20 Former senator Feingold 21 Airline until 2001 22 2, 4, 6 or 2008 24 ___ Solo (character played by Peter Griffin on “Family Guy”) 25 Hosp. area 28 Not-real-strict quality 31 “This is your brain on drugs” prop 32 Double scoop that’s part multicolored, part liqueur 35 They sound just like D# 36 Alyssa of “Who’s the Boss?”

38 Double scoop that’s part chocolate, part citrus 42 DVR button 43 Distance between markers 44 Doc for head stuff: abbr.

45 “There’s a mouse behind the fridge!!!”

46 Hair grossness 47 “___ was saying...”

48 Condo division 50 Coupe alternative 55 Double scoop that’s part sweet

and chunky, part tart 59 Caber-___ (Highland games competitor) 60 Early 2012 U.S. disasters (in a legit but unusual spelling) 61 Prefix before dactyl 62 It may end in PEZOLCFTD

Down

1 Economist’s stats 2 “Tomb Raider” heroine Croft 3 “I Left Something Turned ___ Home” (Trace Adkins song) 4 “Star Trek” lieutenant 5 Little cut 6 Actor McDiarmid 7 Away from SSW 8 Indigenous people that Paraguay named its currency after 9 “Famous” cookie guy 10 Diner on the sitcom “Alice” 11 Tom’s QB opponent, in Super Bowl XLVI 12 Imperfect, as a substitute 13 Threaten, in a way 16 They Might Be Giants song with the line “And her voice is a backwards record” 18 Less sullied 22 Sun ___ (Chinese revolutionary) 23 Abbr. after a phone number, on a business card

25 Tend to a sprain 26 Business with biscotti 27 Least happy, in Vegas 28 Release 29 End-of-aisle product offer 30 Lily Allen hit of 2006 33 Planking or Tebowing 34 Suffix for percent 37 Toronto’s prov.

39 Find at an archeological dig 40 Do bird calls, say 41 Digital camera output 42 Look shocked, maybe 48 Online gamer, e.g.

49 Possibly insane Roman ruler 50 Lip ___ contest 51 “In the Valley of ___” (2007 Tommy Lee Jones film) 52 ___ double take 53 Love, Latin-style 54 Oriole’s pad 56 Ending for Canton or Siam 57 Comedian Jo ___ 58 Before, to Robert Burns

buzz

15

March 22 - 28, 2012

readbuzz.com

what’s with micro-blog fan fiction?

best

The creators of @SeinfeldStories explain what it takes to become a social media sensation

by The Writers of @SeinfeldStories

The funniest fake Seinfeld Episodes never existed by @SeinfeldStories

1

George is taken off a plane for criticizing a blind man who took the window seat; Elaine is offended by “the girth” of her smoothie straw.

The creators of Seinfeld Stories.

ten center around a girlfriend with a strange quirk, clothing, cleaning rituals, or being a comedian.

George plots are about doing something selfish, revengeful or just general loser-ness. Elaine is food or meanness (like the show’s real writers, we find Elaine hardest to write for). Kramer is literally anything as long as it crosses a certain threshold of weird. We try to follow these rules (and get yelled at by fans when we break them) because we’re taking advantage of our readers’ knowledge of the Seinfeld form.

Like every other sitcom and meme, we are proudly formulaic. If you don’t see why this is a good thing, you’ve never read Dinosaur Comics.

Simply put, when you don’t have much to work with, you really work with what you’ve got. People expect to see a replication of Seinfeld tropes, e.g.

“Jerry’s girlfriend does something unusual,” or “Kramer starts something esoteric.” That’s what the show is and always was; we have no desire to change that. One Twitter follower commented, “Jerry dates a girl. George complains. Elaine dances. Kramer opens the door.” Exactly!

People often ask why we use a pseudonym. First, secret identities are cool — usually only superheroes get them. Since we’re big comicbook readers, we understand the cache of anonymity. Second,

people like to read a character or a personality, not just the thoughts of a random dude. Nobody’s gotten famous by merely having a Twitter. Even comedians have to assume a joke-writing persona and try for consistent funniness. A character is simpler than a person: it doesn’t have a lifetime of context that consumers have to learn about. We’re Michael R. because we prefer to imagine a reality where former Kramer actor Michael Richards writes fan-fiction instead of saying racial slurs.

After @SeinfeldStories got 2,000 followers, we knew we were destined for a sitcom deal like @ shitmydadsays. Or at least, TBS could pay us rent money to write intro cards for Seinfeld reruns.

Of course, we quickly realized we didn’t know what the hell we were talking about; it’s hard to commodify Internet humor. Nobody would pay for it since it’s amply available for free.

We really like Seinfeld and we get to connect with other people enthused about the show and we’ve gotten to talk to some interesting people.

We get to write mini-spec-scripts with the advantage of a reading audience (check out our tumblr!)

And most of all, writing fan fiction is just a ton of fun! We’re pretty sure Seinfeld is an infinite well of funny premises. We intend to keep tweeting until people stop reading.

Find out about how buzz’s new writing project can publish your opinions

by Nick Martin ttention writers of CU! Buzz is embarking upon a new writing project! We want to start publishing editorials written by our readers and CU community members! We want a well-reasoned piece articulating something you’re passionate about.

What about, you ask? Practically anything! Politics, movies, shoes with lights in them, globalization, linguistics, a hilarious weekend camping trip — whatever you want to write about! All we ask is, 16

buzz

a) you don’t slander anyone and b) you make sure your writing is interesting! We’re publishing it as “This person’s opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of buzz or Illini Media.” So what matters most is whether your essay is entertaining or enlightening or (hopefully) both. We should mention: no previous writing experience is necessary!

For the last 11 years, Michael Coulter has filled this space with his opinions; we decided to broaden the scope to include an eclectic selection of

2

Kramer buys “hot” internet domain names; Elaine’s new co-worker is a “pen clicker”; George and Jerry debate the “cookieness” of Fig Newtons.

3

After an enjoyable breakfast in bed, George decides to eat every meal horizontally; Kramer starts crashing weddings for the small talk.

4

Jerry doesn’t respect his new mechanic because his designer jeans don’t have any grease stains; Kramer thinks, “He’s a fancy pants!”

5 6

George finds the best pizza place in NYC but refuses to take anyone to it: Kramer buys a gun.

In order to save his parking spot, Kramer puts a fake fire hydrant on the sidewalk; Jerry doesn’t like the way his pharmacist smiles.

7

where’s coulter?

A

seinfeld stories ever!

B

efore the Internet, fan fiction was created by people with access to photocopiers and comicbook/sci-fi conventions; today, fan fiction is created by pretty much everybody. Jane Austen monster mash-ups become New York Times Best Sellers; memes and hashtags save indie sitcoms from cancellation; and hundreds of thousands of young writers are figuring out what happened at Hogwarts after Harry graduated. Don’t forget: social media is an easy way to get attention. If you’re using the same pop culture lexicon as other people, you can even get attention from people who don’t know who you are and never will.

Like us, the creators of @SeinfeldStories — a semi-popular Seinfeld fan fiction Twitter account (semi-popular means 11,000ish followers). If you haven’t seen our stuff, we write TV Guide summaries of Seinfeld episodes that never existed (and presumably never will). Hopefully, the person reading our tweets likes the show well enough that they can imagine our fake episodes themselves. This is best explained through example, so either go follow us, or if you don’t have a smart phone, look at the sidebar next to this article.

We thought of micro-blog fan fiction during a gas station candy trip. One of us had just created a personal Twitter; the alarming banality of most tweets prompted him to remark, “Twitter is like the Seinfeld of social networking websites. It’s people talking about nothing.” A different creator responded, “Wouldn’t it be stupid if someone made an account that just tweeted Seinfeld episode summaries?” The first person agreed, adding, “But it’d be really stupid if we made up fake ones.” Thus, a viral sensation was born!

Twitter is the perfect medium for joke writing.

Pithy is not encouraged — it’s required. When we write a tweet, we notice something that seems Seinfeldian — a tiny piece of minutiae worth mocking. The best part about Seinfeld is practically anybody in America can like it. Jerry plots of-

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people from around the community.

As a columnist, you will have the chance to be read by potentially 20,000 people (our circulation) and be given a space to promote something you’re passionate about (if you’re a local business owner, we’ll mention it in the byline and you can even make a whole column about it). Sounds pretty sweet, right? Email buzz Managing Editor Nick Martin with subject line EDITORIAL, and we can talk about your idea. Email buzz@illinimedia.com

George drives a pregnant woman to the emergency room and asks for gas money. Kramer starts cooking with mollusks.

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Kramer “invents” a new card game and refuses to admit that it’s just Blackjack. George doesn’t know anyone that owns a rake.

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George’s girlfriend breaks up with him after he almost drowns her in an “overly aggressive dunk” at a pool party. Elaine hates Pringles.