Buzz Magazine: March 25, 2004

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LADIES, JUST REMEMBER: HOVER, DON’T COVER | MARCH 25-31, 2004 buzz

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Habitat for Humanity unleashes campaign (Page 5) ARTS

Artist corner with local jewelry artist (Page 8) MUSIC

Mendoza Music Line sounds off on file-sharing (Page 10) CALENDAR

!PR PM +RANNERT #ENTER WELCOMES THE ANNUAL VISIT OF THIS DANCE COMPANY COMPLETE WITH THE -ARK -ORRIS SIGNATUREˆGREAT LIVE MUSIC COUPLED WITH SUPERB DANCERS EXECUTING THE SPIRITED LIFE AFl RMING CREATIONS OF A BRILLIANT CHOREOGRAPHER 4HE SELECTIONS ON THE PROGRAM INCLUDE A REPRISE OF 6 WITH 3CHUMANN S 0IANO 1UINTET 3ERENADE E TO ,OU (ARRISON S 3ERENADE FOR 'UITAR !LL &OURSS TO "ARTØK S 3TRING 1UARTET .O

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Shakin’ Babies gets things goin’ (Page 12) FILM

Charlie Kaufman’s newest masterpiece (Page 20)

Arts | Entertainment | Community

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I LOVE GOING INTO TOWN, EVEN IF IT’S ONLY FOR AN HOUR | MARCH 25-31, 2004 buzz

BY KATIE RICHARDSON | ARTS EDITOR

The Story

4 Carbohydrates - worth their weight?

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n “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” Jim Carrey’s character attempts to erase the memory of his ex-girlfriend in order to get over the pain of losing her. This action raises a pretty standard but still mind boggling philosophical question, “Should one attempt to forget parts of one’s past that once brought one happiness if a considerable degree of sadness is also attached to those memories?”

The pragmatic answer is, “Of course not.

Sadness and happiness are irrevocably intertwined. The bitter and the sweet is what gives width and breadth to life.”

Of course this is probably true, but in our sadder moments there is a considerable degree of bullshit attached to this reply. Intense sadness, arising as a result of a breakup, or a death, or some other loss, seems like it will last forever. Happiness, on the other hand, seems fleeting even when we are in the midst of the most elative moment. Moreover, when it leaves, that other more powerful emotion takes it place.

And then we start wearing big gray sweaters, listening to sad songs, and eating gallons of ice cream topped with pounds of chocolate candy and Cool whip. This lovely lit-

From the Atkins diet to the new Subway and T.G.I. Fridays low carbohydrate meals, the Bacardi and Diet Cola ads and now the new lowcarb shop in Champaign...

Arts 7 The Permanent Human Artwork Vivid purple flames painted on the wall, surround a room where a nervous girl gazes at her foot that is about to be painted permantently...

Music 9 Let the good times roll with karaoke Friday night – first night of Spring Break. Somewhere out there are literally thousands of students...

Calendar 12 Opening Bands Showcase This night of local music brings together three rock bands that have each cut their own niche...

Film

MARCH 25-31, 2004 | MORE LIKE SPRING BROKE!

tle loss of control is why some of us avoid happiness altogether. We know that at the end of the trip down the lighted corridor, the dark closet waits.

But, hey, the dark closet serves a purpose too. For instance, melancholy is marketable.

Teenagers happily shell out millions for dark despondent music. Poets wear their hearts and their tears on their sleeves, and we congratulate them for channeling the hidden depths of humanity. Celebrities write autobiographies, playing up the painful obstacles they’ve overcome to get where they are. And we call them heroes.

If sadness was that bad, we wouldn’t be able to make a profit out of it. Granted, commercialism certainly has power, but it doesn’t matter how creative the ad campaign to sell pickled broccoli is, nobody is going to buy it because it really doesn’t have much appeal.

People naturally relate to sadness, though.

And we yearn for it because feeling something, even if it is terrible is better than felling nothing at all. Isn’t that what the Nine Inch Nailes song, “Hurt” is all about?

So why not embrace sadness, at least it gives some shade of color to life (even if it is puce), and maybe someday you can make a movie out of it.

-K.R.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): For months now, you’ve been cultivating a more mature relationship with obstacles.

You’ve begun to see them less as punishments doled out by an unfair universe and more as interesting, growthinducing challenges provided by a generous universe. If you do nothing else but master this perspective in the next eight months, I’ll declare 2004 a success. Are you ready for the next big breakthrough in your noble struggle to refine how you struggle?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):“Bolivia has no ocean, but it has admirals done up like Lord Nelson,” writes Eduardo Galeano in *The Book of Embraces.* “Lima, Peru has no rain, but it has peaked roofs with gutters. In Managua, Nicaragua, one of the hottest cities in the world, there are mansions flaunting magnificent fireplaces.” Are there any anomalies like these in your world, Taurus? Do you have tools for jobs you never do? Luxuries you don’t use?

Elaborate structures that have no purpose? If so, it’s time to either rethink your relationship to them or else phase them out.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you’re willing, life will soon offer you not just a fleeting glimpse but a penetrating gaze at what has been concealed beneath the surface.

You’ll be invited to shed your preconceptions and come face-to-face with hidden agendas, missing links, and fertile secrets. If you’d rather not accept life’s overture to strip away pretenses, please forget you ever read this horoscope. To retain it in your memory would interfere with your enjoyment of the pretty packaging that veils the slightly disturbing, totally invigorating contents inside.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): An entrepreneur approached me with a proposal.“Your work should be getting out to a bigger audience. The masses are starving for the message you’re putting out. That’s why you need me.

With my marketing machine, your name could become as recognizable as Deepak Chopra’s. Let’s build an entertainment conglomerate and hawk a hundred Rob Brezsnystyle products.”“Nah,” I said.“People come to me seeking sanctuary from hype. They know I won’t smack them upside the head with relentless sales pitches.” I urge you to adopt a similar attitude in the coming week, Capricorn.

Let everyone relax in your presence, knowing they won’t be hustled, cajoled, or manipulated. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20Feb. 18): The Golden Rule is a decent ethical principle, but it could be even better.“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” presumes that others like what you like. But that’s laughably naive and potentially a big mistake. There are many things you would like to have done unto you that others would either despise or be bored by.

Here’s a new, improved formulation, which we’ll call the Platinum Rule: *Do unto others as they would like to have you do unto them.* Of course these are always powerful words to live by, Aquarius, but especially now. It’s time to take your integrity to the next level.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your trust was violated in the past, and you still feel the wound. You keep it in the background of your awareness, fascinated with the way it never really heals. Though I sympathize, I want you to know that it’s time to move on. Your horrified disbelief about having been treated so badly is close to becoming just another bad habit. Your instinct for self- protection is threatening to devolve into indulgent self-pity. What should you do? The first thing is to forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you. The second step is to restore your trust in yourself.

Third, find a way to feel gratitude for those who abused your trust. Yes, you heard me right: Be thankful for all they taught you about how to become yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): An image of the Virgin Mary materialized on the window of a home in Ohio. That, at least, is what an imaginative neighbor believed, though the occupants themselves were apathetic. But the neighbor spread the word, and soon pilgrims were coming from afar to be in the presence of the miracle. A blind woman regained her sight; a man in a wheelchair walked for the first time in eight years; a six-year- old child with lifethreatening asthma breathed freely again. Then the maid came. It was her regular day to work. The homeowners neglected to tell her not to clean the special window, and she did. The blessed image disappeared and the crowd dispersed. Moral of the story, Scorpio: The magic that comes your way this week might be a bit messy — indeed, it might even rise out of a mess. Don’t clean it up.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): When he first invented the printing press in the fifteenth century, Johannes Gutenberg used it to fashion frivolous little things like sets of playing cards.

Only later did he put it to work mass-producing books, turning it into a revolutionary tool for disseminating information. I foresee a similar evolution for you in the coming weeks, Leo. In the early going, you’ll employ a wonderful

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Evangelical Christian TV personality Pat Robertson says God told him that George W. Bush will win the U.S. presidential election in a landslide. That’s odd, because God told me the exact opposite: Bush will be out of office and sitting on the board of Halliburton by February, 2005. To my knowledge, Robertson has not yet commented on the upcoming

ACROSS 1 Signifies respect and sadness

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16 Slipped PHOTO | CARRIE MILEWSKI

Editor in chief Marissa Monson Art Directors Meaghan Dee & Carol Mudra Copy Chief Chris Ryan Music Jacob Dittmer Art Katie Richardson Film Paul Wagner Community Emily Wahlheim Calendar Maggie Dunphy Photography Editor Christine Litas Calendar Coordinators Lauren Smith, Cassie Conner, Erin Scottberg Photography Christine Litas, Roderick Gedey Copy Editors Chris Ryan Designers Glenn Cochen, Chris Depa, Adam Obendorf, Carol Mudra Production Manager Theon Smith Sales Manager Lindsey Benton Marketing/Distribution Melissa Schleicher, Maria Erickson Publisher Mary Cory

binge of intelligent fun and righteous pleasure that astrologers are predicting for you Sagittarians. My guess, though, is that *his* God wouldn’t approve. My God, on the other hand, predicts that you will generate good karma as you have a sweet, boisterous time.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Contrary to the assumptions of misinformed “skeptics,” real astrology has nothing to do with the stars, except for one star: our sun. The 12 signs of the zodiac don’t correspond to constellations, but demarcate symbolic phases of the cyclic relationship between the sun and Earth. Here’s another correction of one of the skeptics’ many misunderstandings: Astrology is an art, not a science. While it does have a logical coherency and can be of great use in understanding the mystery of our lives, it’s not a precise body of facts based on repeatable experiments. It’s a mythic language that trains our imaginations to be aware of the links between our inner world and the outer world. Now, Pisces, take inspiration from my words as you fight back against those who judge and criticize you even though they don’t understand you.

✍ HOMEWORK:

Rob Brezsny's Free Will ☎ Astrology

What do you need to be rescued from?

Whom would you prefer to perform the rescue?

freewillastrology@comcast.net 415.459.7209 P.O. Box 798 San Anselmo, CA 94979

Write: www.freewillastrology.com.

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ANSEWERS PG 13

You’ve got to feel a little sorry for Charlie Kaufman’s psychiatrist – that is, assuming he’s had the since to consult one...

Volume 2, Number 13 COVER DESIGN | Carol Mudra

new resource in a relatively impractical way; or maybe a big, fresh idea will first appear in a trivial context. Not to worry, though. After the initial false starts and wasteful experiments, you will ultimately discover an elegant use for your innovation. Be patient.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Just as I have little patience for people who perpetuate ethnic stereotypes, I also cringe at astrologers who assume that all Libras are unflappably gracious, obsessed with relationships, and unable to make up their minds. While there is a grain of truth in those characterizations, they’re oppressive if regarded as immutable cosmic law. You need the freedom to complain now and then, especially when a situation has become so filled with deception and illusion that it’s hurting people.

To remain unflappably gracious in the face of a mess like that would be wrong. Likewise, on occasion you need to forget what’s best for a relationship and instead concentrate on what’s best for you. This is one of those times, Libra, when you have license to rebel against astrology’s stereotypes.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You will soon come across numerous clues about the Great Riddle of Your Life — you know, the brain-teasing, heart-stretching enigma that will take years for you to solve completely. So be alert!

Revelations may arrive from unexpected sources and inadvertent teachers. Even seemingly insignificant events may be pregnant with pithy hints. To cultivate the right kind of receptivity, be on the lookout not only for crisp answers, but also for ideas about how to formulate the Great Riddle more clearly. P.S.: Keep an image of a sphinx near you at all times. It’ll help supercharge your intuition.

20 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

BUZZ STAFF

odds & end

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY (MARCH 18-24)

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E-mail us at buzz@readbuzz.com or you can send us a letter at 1001 S. Wright St., Champaign, IL 61820.

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Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

Copyright Illini Media Company 2004

17 He said “In America, anybody can be president; that’s one of the risks you take”

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23 Mexican mint product 24 Writer who created the writer Gideon Zadok 25 Blinkers 26 Pete Sampras, notably

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45 “Lines on the Mermaid Tavern” poet 47 Some singers

40 “___ in Her Ear” (classic Georges Feydeau farce)

43 Like inferior computer graphics

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50 Pasternak heroine 51 Pack ___ 52 Terse warning 53 Dyne-centimeters 55 Spanish article

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“DONNIE, YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!� | MARCH 25 - 31, 2004

Drive-thru Reviews

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3/23/04

CLUB DREAD ★★★ JAY CHANDRASEKHAR AND BILL PAXTON Taking this film seriously would be a crime, and those who do are sure to hate it. With films such as Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ bringing suffering and torture to millions of people, a simple, dumb film like Club Dread should be in theaters to counter some of that anguish.

Club Dread won’t make you more religious and it won’t make you a better person, but you also won’t have to suffer for some movie entertainment. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy DIRTY DANCING: HAVANA NIGHTS ★ DIEGO LUNA AND ROMOLA GARAI To call Havana Nights an expected disappointment is almost an understatement. Diego Luna, who plays the dashing Javier, does not nearly have the onscreen magnetism of a Patrick Swayze to accurately portray his character. Romola Garai as Katy does not submit a very impressive performance. These mediocre performances and a rehashed plot make a trip to Havana Nights a trip to forget. (Dan Nosek) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy EUROTRIP ★★★ MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG AND JACOB PITTS Movies such as Old School and Road Trip aren’t judged by their quality, but by how much laughter comes from the inane situations. With this qualification for excellence, Eurotrip does a surprising job at infusing the year’s raunchiest sex comedy with enough funny moments that you won’t mind pulling out a passport and spending seven dollars to go see it. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy HIDALGO ★★ VIGGO MORTENSEN AND OMAR SHARIF In past successful movies of the adventure genre, violent situations are usually modest and understated. To eliminate danger from other riders and mercenaries who wish harm upon him, Mortensen’s character does genocide on his Arabian counterparts. Maybe Viggo can find his next job working with Gibson in his upcoming sequel, The Passion of the Rodney King. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MONSTER ★★★★ CHARLIZE THERON AND CHRISTINA RICCI While the narrative slows at some points, it is never dull or repetitive. This rough, unsettling story is transfixing in its gutsy lack of style. It’s as dirty as the side of a highway and as brutal as a death sentence, and the film soars from its distinctively unsentimental objectivity. It’s a shame Jenkins felt the need to use a voiceover, which only repeats the electrifying intensity evident in Theron’s face.

The movie isn’t perfect, but Theron’s brave, breakout performance is monstrous. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy RETURN OF THE KING ★★★★ ELIJAH WOOD AND IAN MCKELLAN The Return of the King won the grand prize on Oscar night. Thankfully so, because anything short of best director victory for Peter Jackson would have been an unforgivable injustice. He raised the bar for fantasy and redefined themes of friendship, honor and courage on a grippingly grand and poignantly intimate scale. Besides its structural limitations, The Return of the King is more than a rousing ending to a celebrated legend; it’s a battle cry for epic filmmaking. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST ★★★ JAMES CAVIEZEL AND MONICA BELLUCCI The film occasionally intersects the persecution with placid shots of Jesus spreading his peaceful message and random moments of his quietly pious life. These are few

and far between, however, and a half-hearted effort by Gibson and co-writer Benedict Fitzgerald to break up the monotony of innumerable slow-motion collapses and redundant reaction shots of teary-eyed women. This is a monumental, historical accomplishment, made with intense passion, courage and brains, even if its mind focuses more on shallow malevolence than spiritual catharsis. What it needs is a heart. (Matt Pais) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy STARSKY & HUTCH ★★★ BEN STILLER AND OWEN WILSON Todd Phillips does all he can to recreate Starsky & Hutch as high-energy ‘70s nostalgia with a little 21st century gloss, it plays equally as traditional adaptation and self-referential modernization. Some scenes will truly take you back to the days of disco-dancing detectives, but the men behind Starsky & Hutch have too much fun mocking the original in a present-day context to ever really kick it old school. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy TWISTED ★ ASHLEY JUDD AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON One thing is for certain about Twisted: its faults are magnified by the cast’s and crew’s fame. If this had been an independent film circulated through the Sunset or Toronto film festivals, the inevitable notoriety which it will gain for being “the worst film of the century� would certainly not be there. (Dan Maloney) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT ★★ RAY RAMANO AND GENE HACKMAN It may be an election year, but Welcome to Mooseport doesn’t offer much in the realm of real-life commentary. In fact, the Democratic Cole continually compares his post-presidency reputation and financial status to Bill Clinton’s. But while Americans might fantasize about a different man having succeeded Clinton, moviegoers certainly don’t fantasize about such superficial slop that’s little more than an unwelcome, Capitol anthill. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy AGENT CODY BANKS 2: DESTINATION LONDON ★★ FRANKIE MUNIZ AND ANTHONY ANDERSON Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London uses the premise of the original boy-turned-secret-agent formula to recapitilize on the success of the first installment.

Unfortunately, this film falls into the all-to-familiar stereotype of the many spy kids films out in the past year, such as Catch That Kid and Spy Kids 3, but it’s not without its charm either. (Janelle Greenwood) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy SECRET WINDOW ★★★ JOHNNY DEPP AND MARIA BELLO This movie should not be classified as a “thriller� or “dramatic thriller� and definitely not “horror,� but rather “semi-thriller-that-tries-to-trick-you-but-ends-upbeing-predictable,� but the movie was still entertaining.

If you’re looking for a psychological thriller based on a Stephen King book, go rent The Shining. If you’re looking for a “poor-man’s-thriller� that gets upgraded to a “middle-class-thriller� because of Depp’s acting, check out Secret Window. (Art Mitchell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

SPARTAN ★★★★ VAL KILMER AND WILLIAM H. MACY The film’s surprising twists and conspiracy-laden climax may turn off some moviegoers, but most will find Spartan to be one of the most satisfying thrillers in recent memory. With this and Mamet’s recent film successes, the 1998 puzzler Spanish Prisoner and the comical State and Main from 2000, he rises to the level of one of America’s most unique and interesting filmmakers. (Syd Slobodnik) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy TAKING LIVES ★★ ANGELINA JOLIE AND ETHAN HAWKE Jolie’s acting is as flat and boring as a drive down I-57 at night, but the film’s major fault is that it rarely attempts to be original. When Jolie eventually sacrifices all FBI integrity to have sex surrounded by pictures of corpses, it still won’t keep viewers intrigued. With the exception of one good thrill, Taking Lives has nothing to contribute to the serial killer genre. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

OPENING THIS WEEKEND THE LADYKILLERS TOM HANKS AND MARLON WAYANS The Coen brothers’ latest film is a remake of a 1955 comedy surrounding one professor’s (Hanks) master plan for robbing a casino. Under the guise of musicians, they hold headquarters in the house of a “sweet old lady� who, they soon discover, isn’t so sweet. Hilarity ensues. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend JERSEY GIRL ★★★ BEN AFFLECK AND LIV TYLER Jersey Girl represents a departure from the usual work of director Kevin Smith. Some of the more insolent comments and character jokes reveal touches of Smith’s usual craft, but overall, the film is different than anything else he has directed. This is the kind of film many people thought he couldn’t make, a soulful, emotional, and most importantly, serious look at life. Jersey Girl still has the right mix of comedy and drama, accentuated with some fine acting from some big names, to make everyone forget about Gigli. (John Piatek) Opening this weekend NEVER DIE ALONE DMX AND DAVID ARQUETTE This soon-to-be epic of a film tells the story of a drug kingpin’s return to his home and the turf war it starts. A strange coupling of DMX and Arquette headline this starstudded film, which should make it just barely watchable, though there should be some quality action scenes, I’m sure. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend SCOOBY DOO 2: MONSTERS UNLEASHED SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR AND MATHEW LILLARD Apparently one unsuccessful Scooby Doo film wasn’t enough. In attempt to take over “Coolsville Jinkies,� a masked villain unleashes terrible monsters that The Mystery, Inc. gang must stop. Scares, bad acting, and hilarity are sure to ensue. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend

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Starring Helen Mirren & Julie Walters. “Two Thumbs Up!...� –Ebert & Roeper.

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NEVER DIE ALONE (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:10 9:20 50 FIRST DATES (PG–13) Fri. 11:30 & Sat. 1:00 3:00 5:10 7:20 9:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:10 11:40 9:20 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:10 7:20 9:30 SCOOBY-DOO 2 (PG) Fri. & Sat. 12:30 1:00 2:50 3:10 5:00 CODY BANKS 2 (PG) Fri. 5:20 7:20 7:40 9:30 9:50 11:30 Thu. 12:30 2:50 5:10 7:30 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:00 2:50 DAWN OF THE DEAD (R) Fri. 3:10 5:00 5:20 7:20 7:40 9:30 & Sat. 12:40 2:50 5:00 7:30 9:50 9:50 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 12:40 2:50 5:00 SECRET WINDOW (PG–13) 7:30 9:50 Fri. - Thu. 1:15 3:20 5:30 7:40 10:00 ETERNAL SUNSHINE (R) Fri. Thu. 12:40 3:00 5:20 7:40 10:00 STARSKY & HUTCH (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 12:40 3:00 5:20 7:40 HIDALGO (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 10:00 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:50 TAKING LIVES (R) Fri. & Sat. 12:50 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:50 12:10 JERSEY GIRL (PG–13) Fri. Sun. - Thu. 12:50 3:10 5:20 Thu. 12:20 2:50 5:10 7:30 10:00 7:30 9:50 BELLEVILLE (PG–13) Fri. & THE LADYKILLERS (R) Fri. Sat. 1:00 3:00 5:20 7:20 9:20 Thu. 12:30 2:50 5:10 7:40 10:00 11:20 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:20 7:20 PASSION OF CHRIST (R) Fri. 9:20 Thu. 1:15 2:00 4:15 5:00 7:00 8:00 9:45 RETURN OF THE KING (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 12:20 4:20 8:20 TWISTED (R) Fri. - Thu. 9:50 MYSTIC RIVER (R) Fri. & Mon. - Thu. 12:50 4:00 7:00 9:50 PRINCE & ME (PG) Sat. 7:00 Sun. 1:00 Sat. 12:50 4:00 9:50 Sun. 4:00 7:00 9:50

Showtimes for 3/26 thru 4/1

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MARCH25-31, 2004 | WAY TO GO CAROL, WAY TO GO!

FIRST THING’S FIRST...

You, me and Dick Cheney makes three

BY MICHAEL COULTER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I

f a friend of mine had been charged with a serious crime and I were a witness in the court proceeding, I would lie my ass off. Don't get me wrong, I'd swear on the bible and act like I was doing my best, but I'd say whatever it took to help get my buddy off. I've just grown up believing you stand by your friends no matter what. Sure, I might burn in hell for lying, but seriously, let's be honest, it's not going to be the biggest reason I'll burn in hell, only one of many.

When I do get to hell, I bet I'll get to hang out with vice president Dick Cheney and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

They'll be guilty of doing roughly the same shit as me. Scalia has refused to remove himself from a case involving his good friend, Dick Cheney, insisting he doesn't have a conflict of interest. The case involves whether or not Cheney is required to release information about private meetings of Cheney's energy task force.

Wanna guess which way Scalia will rule?

Cheney is his buddy, that's for sure. I must admit I sort of dislike using Dick's last name, as his first name is a far better word to use to describe him. Regardless, they've been fast friends since they worked together in the Ford administration. You remember Gerald Ford, right. He was on the crooked ass Warren Commission and he also pardoned Nixon. Their friendship was forged in lies and cheating and things like that don't get better.

The Sierra Club asked Scalia to recuse himself from the case. Their primary concern was over a hunting and fishing trip Scalia and Cheney took to Louisiana in the spring of 2003. My guess is the two of them were hunting for scotch and fishing for some wild ass Cajun hookers. You know those conservative party their asses off when they get out of town.

They took a government jet down there, of course, and they were the guests of Wallace Carline, who owns an oil rig services firm.

Let's see, a judge who's ruling on Cheney's energy task force and they're partying with an oil baron. That seems pretty up and up.

Scalia points out the trip "was not an intimate setting." I'm not sure what he considers "not an intimate setting," but I'm assuming it means he only allowed Cheney to touch his breast over his shirt and they only kissed without tongues.

Whatever, it's just wrong anyway you look

at it. I would think that if there was even a semblance of impropriety an honest judge would recuse himself. Granted, I would be the last person to accuse Antonin Scalia of being even remotely honest, but still, have all of these cheating bastards gotten to the point where they don't even try to appear decent?

It's a special kind of arrogance when a crooked bastard doesn't even care if you know he's crooked.

In fact, it's almost like he's rubbing America's nose in it. He wasn't even required to explain his decision to hear the case, but he did anyway in a 21 page memo.

He apparently not only likes to hear himself talk, but also enjoys watching himself write.

He believes he can still make a fair ruling. I believe this to mean he feels his ruling will be just as self serving as it would have been if he had not gone hunting with the vice president.

He even feels the trip wasn't that big of a deal. "My recusal is required if ... my impartiality might reasonably be questioned," he said. "Why would that result follow from my being in a sizable group of persons, in a hunting camp with the vice president, where I never hunted with him in the same blind or had other opportunity for private conversation?" Um, let see, because he asks you to go and you rode the same fucking plane down there. Did you bitches not talk on the plane ride down? Or maybe because you stayed at the home of someone with in the oil industry.

My favorite quote about the whole deal is this. "If it is reasonable to think that a Supreme Court justice can be bought so cheap, the nation is in deeper trouble than I had imagined," Scalia wrote. I agree with at least part of that. I think the nation is in deeper trouble than he imagines and I also think he's part of the reason it's in trouble. As far as a justice being bought so cheap, I think we all know a whore's rate usually goes down as they get older.

The Bush/Cheney conservative Washington is beginning to remind me of a mindless summer Hollywood blockbuster movie. It's pretty predictable and simple and you know what's going to happen every step of the way. The villains act like villains and by the end of it, you walk away disturbingly entertained and feeling wholly cheated. At least the movie only lasts a couple of hours. I just hope the arrogance George/Dick doesn't last another four years.

Michael Coulter is a videographer at Parkland College. He writes a weekly e-mail column, “This Sporting Life� and has hosted several local comedy shows.

News of the weird Bright Ideas

Recurring Themes

Mile High Outfitters, a backcountry expedition organizer in Challis, Idaho, has petitioned the U.S. Forest Service for permission to install three commercial, recreational hot tubs smack in the middle of an unspoiled wilderness area, and the service is now considering the proposal (the public comment period having ended early this month).

Each tub would require 1,250 gallons of water, heated by wood-burning stove, replenished every three days in-season, even though motorized vehicles to bring the water in are not now permitted.

A suspected prostitute became the latest police detainee to commandeer a patrol car and drive it away after twisting her body to move her cuffed hands from behind her to the front of her (all in a briefer time than it took officers to walk around the outside the car) (Kensington, Pa., February). And a Harrods Estates broker announced that he had sold a private, one-car parking space in the tony Knightsbridge section of London for the equivalent of US$187,500.

Lead Story Adding to the Disney-fanatic adults who have appeared in News of the Weird is George Reiger of Bethlehem, Pa., who has now been tattooed with Disney-related images 1,600 times, adding about one per week. Reiger said he spends $50,000 a year on his Disney habit, owns 19,000 items of memorabilia, and has fitted his house with Disney touches. In February, Reuters news service asked his opinion of chairman Michael Eisner and of potential Disney owner Comcast Corp., both of which Reiger denounced as indifferent to the original Disney magic. "A lot of people ask me," Reiger said, "if I got (a tattoo of Eisner), where would I put it?"

Least Competant Criminals At his trial in November for stealing the equivalent of US$150,000 worth of jewelry from a house, Daniel Dady, 20, offered the defense of lack of motive, in that he had just inherited the equivalent of US$30,000 and did not need more. The jury found him guilty anyway, and at his sentencing in January, Judge Peter Jacobs not only sentenced him to 4 1/2 years in detention but also ordered him to hand over the inheritance to his victim as partial restitution (an inheritance the judge would not have known about had Dady not spoken up in November).

Copyright Chuck Shepard Distrubted by Universal Press Syndicate

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Atkins ... or fadkins?

Low-carb options abound, but does the science hold weight? ber of carbs minus the fiber, glycerin and sugar alcohol that do not have a strong effect on blood sugar.

The emphasis on reducing carbs affects alcoholic beverBY AMY FISHMAN | age intake, as well. Bacardi advertises a Bacardi and diet cola drink containing 66 calories, no fat and no carbs. The STAFF WRITER Latrobe Brewing Co., manufacturer of Rolling Rock beer, has a new low-carb beer out called Rock Green Light.

Chicago-based 3 Vodka Distilling Co. manufactures vodka rom the Atkins diet to from soy isolates, which contain no carbs.

Locally, the Low Carb Shoppe, 1403 S. Neil St., the new Subway and T.G.I. Friday’s low-carbohydrate meals, Champaign, offers a wide variety of low-carb foods such the Bacardi and diet cola ads, and as candies, caramels, sauces, salad dressings, breads, now the new Low Carb Shoppe in Champaign, the low-carb desserts and drinks.

Owner Deb Montgomery of Champaign said she lifestyle is everywhere.

The idea behind a low-carbohydrate meal comes from the opened the shop because she had been on a low-carb diet fact that the body burns carbs and fat as fuel and energy. Carbs for a while and found it difficult to find low-carb foods in metabolize first. When they are cut, the body burns fat instead. town. She figured if she was having trouble finding low- Easter baskets that include sugar-free chocolate bunnies, jellybeans and peanut butter eggs sit on display.

The Atkins diet is meant to cause weight loss, weight main- carb foods, others might have been too.

Montgomery does not see the low-carb diets as a fad. It tenance, good health and disease prevention. People need to “I think that the ‘demonization’ of one macronutrient is a bad develop a diet based on their critical carb level for losing is fad if people stop cutting the carbs, causing them to gain back idea,” Roach said. “The low-fat diets didn’t work for heart (CCLL), and critical carb level for maintenance (CCLM). CCLL all the weight, she said. health and weight management. That’s what happens when “I prefer to call it a lifestyle,” she said. is the number of grams of carbs that will allow for weight loss.

However, from a nutrient point of view, the Atkins diet has you call one thing bad.”

CCLM is the level of carb intake necessary to maintain weight.

Roach said our culture is “fond” of carbohydrates. Many stuThe Atkins diet promotes an individually controlled carb diet some drawbacks. There are three macronutrients everyone needs in their diets: fat, proteins and carbohydrates, said dents have tried to reduce carbs in their diets, she said. that includes nutrient-dense foods and exercise.

T.G.I. Friday’s offers nine new Atkins-approved menu Rebecca Roach, McKinley Health Center’s nutrition education However, this kind of dieting is hard to follow and most stuitems, two appetizers and seven entrees. Each of these menu coordinator and registered dietitian. Everyone needs micronu- dents do not have the patience for it.

With trends, people are looking for a quick fix, she said. People options contains 17 or fewer net carbs. A net carb is the num- trients such as fiber and vitamins, as well. lose a lot of water initially when they make restrictions. When people restrict their diets, they miss out on their favorite items, she said. When they stop dieting, they eat what they would not allow themselves to eat.

Roach said that the Atkins net carb idea is the same as substituting carbs with something else, such as calories. For example, the T.G.I. Fridays chicken and broccoli Atkins-approved entree contains over 1,000 calories. That is half of what collegeaged women should consume every day, she said. The bottom line is controlling calorie intake, she said, and how many of those calories are used.

Roach does not think people should diet. Instead, they should follow a well-balanced diet, exercise, and learn how to moderate carb and protein intake.

People cannot diet forever, Roach said. They cut back on food, lose the weight, get frustrated, gain the weight back and then feel bad about themselves.

Maggie Charicki, a University freshman, said she has tried the South Beach diet, a three-phase diet that teaches users how to rely on the right carbs and fats while eliminating the bad ones. Phase one gets rid of cravings. Phase two reintroduces carbs to the diet. Phase three is a lifestyle of balancing carbs.

Charicki said it worked for her and she still does it off and on. For the first two weeks of her diet, she could not eat carbs.

She got used to it quickly and lost the majority of her total weight loss during that period. Breads were the hardest to give up, she said.

“It’s probably one of the better low-carb diets because it reintroduces carbs into your diet,” Charicki said.

As for the future of low-carbohydrate diets, despite all the accommodations and the hype, it will still be up dieters to An employee stocks the shelves at the Low Carb Shoppe, 1403 S. Neil St., Champaign. The shelves are filled with sugar-free and low-carb foods such as bread, candy, pancake syrup, tortilla chips and margarita mixes. decide their fate. buzz PHOTOS | CHRISTINE LITAS

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MARCH 25 - 31, 2004 | “THAT RUG REALLY TIED THE ROOM TOGETHER, DUDE.”

Movie News Compiled by Jason Cantone Angelina Jolie might adopt another child.

She reported she is looking to find a brother or sister for her son, Maddox. After being known for rough, violent S&M-style sex, keeping a vial of ex-husband Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck and taking part in a divorce that was coupled with two box office bombs, she might not be the most stable mother out there. However, there are no protests to her adopting again while stable, lesbian couples out there who would scoff at her gothic practices are refused a child. That just doesn’t seem to add up.

Jim Carrey made TV history by airing a trailer for his new movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind onto his bald head. Earlier, he wanted to make TV history while performing a silent interview. Unbeknownst to Carrey, however, he also made TV history for making the most desperate attempts to become a legitimate actor ever, after two Oscar snubs and the God-awful The Majestic derailed his chances.

Ben Affleck decided he would never make an action movie again after Paycheck bombed this winter. Obviously, the awfulness of Gigli has made him forget that Armageddon and Pearl Harbor were his two biggest successes while Gigli, Daddy and Them and Bounce were complete failures. Give him a year before he begs to make Daredevil 2.

Actress-turned-novelist Pamela Anderson has hired a ghost writer to help her with her first two novels. Now we’ll never know who the Nobel Prize for Literature really belongs to next year.

moviereview

BARBARIAN INVASIONS ★★★★

BY SYD SLOBODNIK | STAFF WRITER

D

enys Arcand’s The Barbarian Invasions has an odd title for such a delightful and sublime comedy about a man named Remy, a 60-yearold Canadian college history professor, who’s dying of terminal cancer and whose relatives and friends gather to celebrate his life in his remaining days. This film richly deserves its recent recognition as the Oscar-winning best foreign language film of 2003.

Writer/director Arcand’s plot has a rather simple narrative and stylistic quality. The story focuses on the dignity of the dying, philosophical issues about one’s ultimate value in life and the quest for reconciliation. Many of Arcand’s transitions are managed with a peaceful dissolve from a static image of tranquility.

The film begins when the ailing professor’s son, Sebastien, is called by his mother to his father’s bedside in an overcrowded Quebec hospital. Sebastien is a high-powered London-

dvdreview

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD ★★★

BY JOHN LOOS | STAFF WRITER

O

ften considered a landmark of the horror film genre, George A. Romero’s 1968 zombie romp Night of the Living Dead is still, after all this time, invariably shocking in its own simplistic, patient way. Voted #93 on the American Film Institute’s “100 Years 100 Thrills” list, the film has lost none of its dark elegance and unpredictable skittishness thanks to the near-pristine restoration presented on this DVD. Plot, throughout the film, is at best peripheral. It opens with a brother and sister, Jonny and Barbara (Judith O’Shea), visiting their father’s grave. Within minutes, the first meandering zombie kills Jonny and sends Barbara on a lengthy escape run that leads her to an empty, isolated country house. There she meets tough guy Ben (Duane Jones), a family of three and a young couple in love. Trapped inside, the group can do nothing but sit and wait for the growing zombie army to descend upon the house. At one point, in an unintentionally laugh-out-loud moment, the film tries to

based financial expert who, understandably, holds years of resentment over his dad’s philandering with a parade of mistresses, all of whom seem to have destroyed any form of normal family life for him.

Despite such feelings, Sebastien takes an overnight flight to Quebec and immediately seeks U.S. medical attention, more detailed second diagnoses—doubting the Canadian public health system’s care—and quickly seeks various illegal means of pain relief for his father.

In a stream of neverending well-wishers, Remy is soon joined in his hospital room, and later a country home, by his understanding exwife, various old friends and colleagues, a few former lovers and even ex-students as they engage in lively storytelling and relive shared memories over much food and wine.

Along the way, Arcand’s Oscar-nominated screenplay takes political and philosophical jabs at the Canadian health service, American nationalism, the intrusions of so-called “barbarian” cultures on civilized life—especially the Sept. 11 terrorists, and drug trafficking and how the wealthy circumvent drug laws. All this is filtered through other witty repartee about great works of literature, historical figures and intellectual “–isms”.

The somewhat haggard but jovial Remy Girard and the straight-laced Stephane Rosseau deliver standout performances as the lead characters, Remy and his son, Sebastien.

Arcand also reunites a half dozen other cast members of his 1986 film The Decline of the American Empire in a sparkling ensemble.

explain the phenomenon of the living dead as a result of radiation from a lost satellite. Granted, the walking dead is an impractical notion on its own, but this cockamamie attempt at its justification only serves to belittle the earnest sense of terror the film tries to create.

Needless plot points aside, what makes the film so notable is its staunchly unsentimental and cold approach to its characters. While Ben seems to hold the movie for the majority of the time, there’s no clear-cut protagonist and thus no obvious pecking order to the group. Even the young daughter of the family isn’t sentimentalized. On the contrary, she helps creates the film’s most terrifying moment.

It’s important to remember that, at 36 years old, this film is old enough to run for president.

Technically, it can look like a student film at times. The editing is choppy, the zombies themselves look more like dusty businessmen with nasty hangovers than the decaying undead, and some of the shots of zombies encroaching on the house are so obvious, you can tell exactly when Romero yelled, “Action!”. Some of the acting is also of a low quality. While it’s mean to name names, this was probably O’Shea’s only film role for a reason.

But, overcoming all of this is the unrelenting passion Romero has for scaring his audience and his fantastic patience to let suspense build naturally, which is something so few horror films of today do. By the end, there is feeling that this film is more than just a simple zombie movie. The real-time pacing alone makes this film a landmark that, like 1967’s Psycho and

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3/23/04

BARBARIAN INVASIONS | R. GIRARD & M. CROZE Together, they create a similar and older version of the delightful, life-long comrades from Mike Newell’s Four Weddings and a Funeral—humorous pals who have a magical connection of shared experience.

Unlike most standard Hollywood films, The Barbarian Invasions, with its touching and mature awareness, uniquely captures many aspects of assessing one’s life and facing one’s demise with wisdom and peaceful self-conviction.

SCREEN REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unwatchable

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NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD | ZOMBIE 1978’s Halloween, push it into the upper echelon of the horror film genre. In short, it’s a true original.

As a DVD, the film is beautifully preserved, but there are few extras to be had on the disc.

Fortunately, most are worth exploring. There are two audio commentaries that include thoughts from Romero, O’Shea and other actors, an original theatrical trailer and a parody called Night of the Living Bread, which is especially appreciable immediately after viewing the movie. Then, for no particular reason, there are a handful of basic TV commercials from the late ‘60s that have no pertinence to the film in any way. They are interesting to watch, but obviously stuck on the disc in a vain attempt to hide its bare-bones options.

However, the most important aspect of any classic film transferred to DVD is the quality of its restoration, and this disc pulls through wonderfully, which should be enough to satisfy any serious horror buff or nostalgic baby boomer.

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ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND ★★★★

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

Y

ou’ve got to feel a little sorry for Charlie Kaufman’s psychiatrist—that is, assuming he’s had the sense to consult one. Since the production of his first feature-length script, the boldly out-there Being John Malkovich, the former television writer has invited America into the strangest corners of his dangerous mind. This guy has more than his share of psychological issues stemming from his overactive brain, and he knows it; he wrote himself as the protagonist of Adaptation, and the character sure wasn’t pretty.

But despite sympathizing with Kaufman’s shrink, you certainly have to admire the

moviereview

DAWN OF THE DEAD ★★

BY JANELLE GREENWOOD | STAFF WRITER

L

ast week, promoters showed a sneak preview of the first 10 minutes of Dawn of the Dead on USA network to scare the hell out of viewers in hopes of drawing them into the theatres. The promo definitely worked.

After a peaceful night in Milwaukee, a doeeyed nurse, Ana (Sarah Polley) and her husband wake up to find a young neighborhood girl wandering through their hallway. Bloody mayhem soon follows when the girl attacks and bites the husband, which eventually kills him and transforms his previously sweet demeanor into that of a flesh-eating zombie.

The world now faces an apocalyptic nightmare where no human is safe.

Ana manages to escape in her car to find shelter, but soon finds that everyone around her has either been bitten or is hysterically searching for shelter, just as she is. Eventually run off the road by a crazed man, Ana wakes up to find that a cop (Ving Rhames) is also searching for shelter and survivors. By chance,

writer’s imagination. He again collaborates with Human Nature director Michael Gondry for the confidently chaotic Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, a frenzied brain-buster of a movie that comes about as close as possible to illustrating the act of dreaming.

Like all of Kaufman’s scripts, the premise is relatively simple but with a twist of off-center, dude-that’s-so-messed-up stoner mania. When Joel Barish’s (Jim Carrey) girlfriend pretends not to know who he is, he thinks it’s just a case of post-argument resentment. He soon finds out she has actually had him erased from her memory via a brain-stripping process (a procedure that’s significantly more complicated than Men in Black’s method of “stare at the bright light and you will forget exactly the right memories”), so, like any scorned boyfriend, he wants to play the forget-me-forever game, too.

The film opens with mundane regularity, as Joel meets blue-haired Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet) and they begin a relationship that finds a comfort level with surprising swiftness, like they may already know each other from somewhere.

But once Joel’s post-relationship procedure begins, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind spins into a dizzying state of dream-induced dementia. As memory-erasing technicians Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood work to free Joel’s mind of all things Clementine, Joel’s brain works just as hard to hold on to her, jumping frantically across memories of their relationship and his early childhood. He mentally travels to the two meet up with several others and make their way into a local shopping mall, where they hope to escape the hell outside.

As time goes on, the unlikely mix of survivors find other people trying to make their way into the mall to escape. Most of the people who were lucky enough to find this safe place, as well as the original group, soon find their way out of their safe zone through their attempts to help everyone.

This film really attempts to show what could happen in a situation where an unlikely group of people are forced to get along long enough to stay alive. Dawn of the Dead fails is in its attempts to focus on too many people and too many struggles at once. Yes, these people are all bound by their desire to live, but other problems within this microcosm of humanity constantly arise.

Mekhi Phifer plays an expecting father, Andre, who looks after his wife while trying to help the survival effort within the mall. Andre is probably the only character given enough attention and depth to care about, but his character dies too early to comply with the ultimate theme of the film: life will prevail. His wife, who becomes infected by a small wound, also dies while giving birth in a scene that easily rivals the famous birth scene in Alien.

Looking at the film as a whole, the special effects do enhance the horror-filled moments of these characters that live like caged animals waiting for slaughter. Enough visual tension is provided to feel these effects, but the emotions

DAWN OF THE DEAD | SARAH POLLEY of characters falls by the wayside. While the visual effects with the zombie’s makeup and the bloody massacre surrounding everyone looks impressive, the film does manage to keep the explosions and disgust to a discrete enough level to make the characters’ actions appear somewhat plausible, given their unrealistic situation.

The screenplay also tries to offer some factual information on how to kill the predatory zombies, while still portraying some of the ambiguity felt by the group because they do not understand why these events are occurring. But a bit more clarification, at times, wouldn’t hurt.

Dawn of the Dead also deserves some credit in its attempt as a remake to the original thriller. What’s nice about this remake is that this screenplay does not try to follow the plot or the characters in the original Dawn of the Dead, other than the general idea that “when there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.”

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MARCH 25-31, 2004

5

Habitat for Humanity builds houses, hope included

everything from snow-covered beaches and icy ponds to blissful under-the-cover conversations and even infantile sink-bathing, watching objects and people disappear as parts of his memory are removed.

The film masterfully constructs the out-ofcontrol sensation of dreaming and uses it to construct a complex insight into fate, love and living in the past. This is a movie about the power of memory and, more importantly, the beauty of experience, and it indelibly articulates the sense of violation that would come from having someone purge your mind of its most personal moments.

It also acts as a salute to intimacy, sanctifying the brain as something inherently individual and championing the act of allowing someone else into such a private place. The characters aren’t the same after their memories are tampered with, but they don’t exactly know it. They just don’t feel like they know themselves anymore, caught in a permanent state of disconnected deja vu. When they are forced to confront forgotten memories, it’s scarier than, say, being told of blacked-out drunken antics. These people don’t remember not remembering, and life then takes on a terrifying new dimension of ever-changing present and ever-present past.

Jim Carrey has excellent experience as a hero who’s not exactly sure about the reality around him, but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind requires a different type of confused, dramatic power than The Truman Show. Rather, Eternal Sunshine sparkles less from its performances

BY JOANNA HUSSEY | STAFF WRITER

H ETERNAL SUNSHINE | JIM CARREY and more because of its delightfully tripped-out presentation of the blurred lines between dream and reality, past and present.

The film manages to fly off the hinges into non-chronological twists and turns of lucid dreaming, but it remains grounded in its dissection of the scarred harmony that exists among all humans who have experienced sadness, longing and love. Even at its most structurally perplexing—rapid-fire editing and instantaneous location changes continuously leave the audience without much conscious ground to stand on—Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a thrillingly stimulating, mentally challenging puzzler worthy of thought as well as conversation.

It’s about the destiny of love, the spontaneity of life and the everyday opportunity to fully realize both. It shows that we can never truly escape from pain, that heartache is a small price to pay for a chance at happiness, and that a mind—especially one like Kaufman’s—is a terrible thing to waste.

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

moviereview

IT’S SPRING BREAK!! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? | MARCH 25 - 31, 2004

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FILMS FEATURING JIM CARREY

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) This comedy features Carrey as a pet detective trying to find the thief that stole the Miami Dolphins’ mascot Snowflake the Dolphin so that Snowflake would be able to perform the halftime show at the Super Bowl. Full of classic Carrey comedy, sexual inuendos and a crossdressing former NFL kicker who lost his team the Super Bowl, this film is a must-see.

DavidSpears

Here, Carrey plays alongside living legend Jeff Daniels in this film that proves absolute stupidity is just plain hilarious. In one shining moment, Carrey sold a dead, decapitated bird to a blind kid, taping the head on and calling the bird quiet.

When looking for shameless ignorance and wellwishing idiocy, Dumb and Dumber is definitely the film for you. “Sampsonite! I was way off.”

The Truman Show (1998)

–Paul Wagner

raise around $35,000 for another Habitat home.

To be considered for a Habitat home, applicants must call Habitat and be put on a waiting list. At an annual meeting, which helps everyone understand the whole process, members of Habitat determines which families are eligible for a Habitat home, said Huth.

The families must also meet income requirements, which are set between 25 percent and 50 percent of local area’s income. There is also consideration of a certain debt to income ratio; the family has to be able to pay a mortgage, because these houses are built and then immediately sold, Huth said.

Residents of the new home provide the labor and sweat equity.

S i n g l e families must c o m p l e t e 2 5 0 hours and two-parent families must fulfill 500 hours of labor throughout the several month build. This labor includes attending classes on home maintenance and finance, as well as helping the volunteers build the new home.

It is important in incorporating both the volunteers and the new homeowners onsite of the home. By the new homeowners working alongside volunteers, Huth said, it creates pride of ownership for the house as it is being built, which creates a strong foundation. buzz Contact Habitat at www.prairienet.org/habitat or by calling (217) 355-6460 for more information.

Q & A

Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Carrey, here, proves that he actually has some acting ability in this serious film about the ultimate reality TV show. Carrey plays Truman, a man whose entire life has been aired on TV worldwide.

Ed Harris acts as the god-like creator of the show.

Truman starts to question the reality of his life and embarks on a quest for the truth. This film was both deep and moving, characteristics that aren’t usually found in Jim Carrey movies.

for personal enjoyment, he recently decided to combine his rides to help benefit local causes.

He hopes to raise $6,000 toward Habitat for Humanity of Champaign and Piatt counties as well as the Champaign-Urbana Jewish Foundation.

The other summer bike ride involves the Shallenberger brothers, Loran, 23, and Logan, 20, both of Mahomet. They will begin in early July to complete the 2,174-mile trip of the entire Appalachian Mountain trail. This trip will take them from Maine to Georgia in four months and will include some hiking.

They hope to

abitat for Humanity volunteers work onsite three days a week as the summer sun beats down on them. The wooden frame is assembled and nails are banged into place as this large structure begins to resemble a house. As new homes are built in Champaign and Piatt counties each year, many people do not realize the amount of fund-raising and donations that made the new structures possible.

This year, Peter Fox of the Fox Development Corporation and his wife, Kim, created a $20,000 matching challenge. If Habitat is able to raise that amount, then the Foxes will match it dollar for dollar and the money will be used to construct the first home. The challenge was finalized Feb. 13 and the groundbreaking is scheduled for May 1. The new home’s owner, KaShawn Merriweather of Champaign, chose the lot at 808 Romine St. in Urbana for the location of her new home. She will share this home with her two daughters, one son and soon-to-be adopted daughter.

Other local residents are engaging in more physical fund-raising efforts to help Habitat. Two different groups of bikers will raise money by completing two different bike rides during the summer.

Local resident Ray Spooner, 44, will take part in what he calls “Bike Home,” a 2,000-plus mile bike ride following the reverse route of the Lewis and Clark expedition trail. On May 8, Spooner will board a plane to Billings, Mont., PHOTO COURTESY OF HABITAT FOR HUMANITY then ride nearly 150 miles per day for about two weeks, taking him across paved roads, down bike paths and over unpaved rail-trails, with occasional sections of gravel roads.

While he usually rides Volunteers participate in construction of a roof for a Habitat for Humanity house.

PHOTO | CHRISTINE LITAS

3/23/04

FOCUS FILMS

032504buzz0520

For the past eight years, Radio Maria, located at 119 N. Walnut, has served Champaign residents unique, internationally inspired cuisine. Owners David Spears and Sharon Owens strive to attract customers with Radio Maria’s uniqueness and friendly service.

a variety of international inspired cuisine. So one day, my friend named Maria saw something, and we just kind of combined the names.

How did you get into the restaurant business?

I guess it had to do with circumstance.

Sharon and I are both artists, so we came to Champaign primarily to finish our education.

We were looking for something to do that would let us apply our skills and create something that would be reflective of that.

How is Radio Maria different from other Champaign restaurants?

The uniqueness of it all. There are just so many Chinese restaurants and pizza places.

People need to have choices. I mean, pizza’s great, but you need something different.

How did you come up with the name Radio Maria?

Naming something like a restaurant is difficult. It’s like naming horses or bands. But in this case, we knew that our interests were

How long has Radio Maria been in business?

It’s coming up on eight years now.

What do you like best about having a restaurant in downtown Champaign?

I love downtown. There’s just a sense of a desire to create and re-create. It doesn’t have the stale, mass appeal that Prospect Avenue kind of brings. I guess that it’s the creative level. We meet a lot of new people. A lot of like-

minded people work here (such as) artists.

What would you be doing if you were not running Radio Maria?

Well, it’s what I wish I had a few more hours in the day to do. I just love to build, create and design. I like to think of something that nobody’s ever seen before and to create it.

What attracts customers to Radio Maria?

Great food, wonderful service and people, and an intriguing environment.

What is your favorite food?

My favorite food is anything with flavor and spices, anything with interesting new ingredients.

Check out Radio Maria and its menu at www.radio-maria.net.

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arts

“THE SNOZBERRIES TASTE LIKE SNOZBERRIES?” | MARCH 25-31, 2004

buzz

House Arrest 2 championship dance team comes to C-U

The music was bumpin’ and the crowd was jumpin’ as House Arrest 2 Championship Dance Team performed last Saturday night at Lincoln Hall. The group performs and competes all over the United States. Juan C. Frazier founded House Arrest 2, in Chicago, in August 1994. With the motto, “God made us, nobody can break us,” they have proven their success and expanded nationally with chapters in Chicago, Champaign and Macomb, Ill., as well as chapters in Alabama, Florida and North Carolina. The group plans to also reach to the West and to other countries as well, said Basil “Money” Muhammad, the national secretary.

“We want to promote hip hop and house around the world,” Muhammad said.

The first chapter started in Chicago, and has many high school students as well as some college students. They also have one young boy, who is only 10, named “Huey.” The Champaign chapter, as well as most of the other chapters, consists of only college students.

Muhammad, the national secretary, has been dancing for 13 years and been involved in student council work for eight years. He was one of the founders of Floor Killa Assassins Dance Troupe, FKA, at the University in 1998. Then, in 2001, along with others, such as Moises Jerez, he merged FKA in Champaign with House Arrest 2 from Chicago to form the second chapter of House Arrest 2 in Champaign. Muhammad recently graduated from the University of Illinois, returned to Chicago and is joining the navy in May. He said he will continue his job as national secretary for House Arrest 2 after joining

the Navy, but with the help of an assistant.

“We decided to merge because House Arrest 2 was Chicago’s number one dance team and FKA was Champaign’s number one dance team so we felt it was only right,” said Moises Jerez, president and advisor for the Champaign chapter.

Moises Jerez is also one of the founders of the Champaign chapter. From the beginning, Jerez has hosted the shows. He also danced with FKA starting in 1999, as an undergraduate at the University. Then he became the external president and advisor in 2001 when FKA merged with House Arrest 2. In December 2003, he finished his graduate studies at the University. He is now in Chicago, but still continues to host the shows. “My heart is still with Champaign,” Jerez said.

Another member of the Champaign chapter is Phara Fortenberry, one of the four executive board members, who joined the Chicago team at 16 years old, her sophomore year of high school.

“My friends in high school were on the team and invited me to try out,” Fortenberry said. “I was anxious to try a new type of urban dance and be a part of a well-know dance group in the Chicago area.”

Fortenberry has been dancing since she was nine years old.

She is now a freshman at the University. She said that she chose the school for her old major, veterinary medicine, unaware that a chapter existed here. She said that she plans to continue dancing in Champaign with House Arrest 2 until she completes her undergraduate degree.

“I like meeting new people because when you’re a member of a group like House Arrest 2, everyone seems to know you and think you’re important,” Fortenberry said.

The group is very supportive of different chapters, often traveling to watch each other perform and compete.

“The most rewarding thing is that after every performance we all get together and do something,” Muhammad said. “We are very unified.”

There are shows and competitions happening in April throughout Illinois, as well as in other states. Check out the House Arrest 2 Web site at www.housearrest2.com, to learn more about the group, the different chapters and to find the nearest dance down. buzz

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 102 E. Gregory 1 Bedroom, multiple layouts, great location $420-$570 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

105 E. GREEN, C

Studio apts avail Aug 2004. Carpet, electric heat, wall a/c units, off street parking avail, laundry on site. Rents from $320/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C

Aug 2004 rental. First rate location near Armory, IMPE, and Snack Bar. 1 bedroom apts. Window A/C, Gas Heat, laundry. Parking $35/mo.

Rents start at $395/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

201 N. LINCOLN, U

August 2004 rental. 2 bedroom apt at $500/mo. Close to campus with parking, ceiling fans, laundry, carpet/tile floors. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 202 E. John 2 Bedroom, some bi-level, balcony, some utilities included. $550-$800 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

3 & 4 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory, Large Bi-level with 2 bath $1150-$1250, parking available.

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

307 W. Elm, U.

Availble August ‘04. 1 bedroom apts in quiet Urbana neighborhood. Hardwood floors. Window A/C, forced heat. Parking avail. Rents from $365/mo. to $410/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

Barr Real Estate 356-1873 www. barr-re.com

311 E. WHITE, C.

Avail for Aug 2004. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center. Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

404 W. HIGH, U

Renting for Aug 2004. Huge 2 bedroom apts. Completely remodeled.

Washer/Dryer in each unit. Parking available. Quiet Urbana neighborhood. Rents start at $695/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

5 & 6 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory, Large Bi-level with 2 bath $1500- $1800, parking available.

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

House Arrest 2 Championship Dance team practices before their performance last Saturday night at Lincoln Theatre.

509 W. MAIN, U.

Quiet Urbana location very close to campus avail for Aug 2004. 1 BR apts. Rents start at $390/mo. Carpet, laundry facilities, window A/C, storage, parking avail at $25/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Boneyard Pottery 50% off everything through March

610 E. Stoughton Nice 2&3 bedrooms, dishwasher, balcony, Awesome location, $675$1050 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

611 W. Green, U

403 S. Water Street in Champaign (Across from Rock’s) 355-5610

New 2 bedroom luxury apts avail. for Aug 2004. Georgian style architecture with brick exterior in historic Urbana neighborhood. Balcony/ patio, washer/dryer, dishwasher, microwave, garbage disposal, internet access, assigned parking $50/ mo.

Rent $950/ mo. Call for details.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

SPORTSWEAR

12 Main St. Downtown Champaign 217-359-2231

Dance Apparel and Shoes

1760 Windsor Road East

WESTGATE

APARTMENTS

• Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Dependable, 24hr. maintenance • 24 Hour Courtesy

• Superior management • Short-term Leases • On Busline • Free Parking

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished

702 W. WESTERN, U.

910 S. Locust Large 1 Bedroom, hardwood floors, Some utilities included, $530-$550 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

Aug 2004. 1 bedrooms with window a/c, carpet/tile floors, boiler heat, laundry on site. Parking avail. Rents from $495/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

705 W. STOUGHTON, U.

Aug 2004 rental. 3 bedroom apts.

Near Lincoln Ave. and Engineering Campus. Fenced-in yard. Balconies/ patios. Microwaves, carpet, central A/C, disposal, dishwasher, parking $25/mo. Rents start at $615/mo.

Shown daily 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. FIRST, C

Excellent Value for Aug 2004. Half block south of Green on First Street.

Large apts in security building. 2 bedrooms from $480/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Hot water heat. Parking at $30/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. LOCUST, C.

Aug 2004 rentals. One block west of First Street, close to campus in quiet neighborhood. Window A/C, Gas heat, Carpet, Covered Parking available, Laundry facilities. 1 bedrooms $395/mo and 2 bedrooms $610/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

802 W. GREEN, U.

Aug 2004 rental. One block from Lincoln Ave. Great architecture and design - not a box apt. Large units with central A/C, carpet, patios/balconies, laundry. Off-street parking at $45/mo. 2 bedrooms from $595/mo.

Showings 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

805 S. LINCOLN, U.

Aug 2004. Great location. Attractive apts. Carpet, Ceiling fans, A.C. Efficiencies from $500/mo, 1 bedrooms from $545/mo. 7 days a week showing.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

807 W. Oregon Large 2 & 3 Bedrooms, Dishwasher, Balcony, $690-$1100.

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com 810 W. Iowa 2 Bedroom Washer/dryer, dishwasher, some utilities included $700-$730 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com 811 W. Oregon Nice 4 Bedroom washer/dryer, dishwasher, balcony. $1250 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

907 W. STOUGHTON, U.

Excellent location. Aug. 2004 rental.

Attractive apts with Central A/C, Carpet, Microwaves, Large rooms, laundry facilities. 2 bedroom from $625/mo. Parking at $30/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Gate House

359-5330 359-5330

Hours: M-F 9-5 Sat 9-1 • office@westgateapts.com www.austinssportswear.com

classifieds

MARCH 25-31, 2004 | OH WHAT UNKIN FUN WE HAVE ON SPRING BREAK PARY ON DUDE!!!!

1507 E. Washington Large 2 bdrm. Apts. Remodeled, new appliances, Some utilities included, washer/dryer, 850 sq. ft.

Starting at $490. Available now!

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com PHOTO COURTESY OF RANDOM HOUSE

BY SUZANNE SITRICK | STAFF WRITER

buzz

Aug: Large 2 BR secure apts, w/d, free parking, Race at Wash., U. No pets. $595/mo. 356-0017 or 7789498

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C.

Avail August 2004. Located at Third and Gregory across from the Snack Bar. A block from IMPE. Large one bedroom apts. Well-maintained. One of the best bargains on campus.

Gas Heat, Carpet, Window A/C, Assigned Parking available. Laundry facilities available. Rents start at $360/mo. Apts shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Balcony in the Trees at 707 W. Elm, U. August: 2,3, & 4 Bedroom apartments reasonably priced at $560, $750 & $972/mo. Quiet comtemporary small building, laundry, excellent campus location. 2BR has 650 sqft., 3BR has cathedral ceilings, loft BR, 800 sqft., 4 BR unique townhouse, patio, balcony, 2 full baths, huge 1300 sqft. Call 840-5134. www.robsapartments.com

BUSEY & ILLINOIS, U.

Large apts in quiet Urbana location one block South of Green and one block East of Lincoln. Off street parking. 2 bedrooms start at $615/mo. Avail Aug 2004. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Don’t get stuck with only those high-priced apartments for Fall.

Well-maintained 2-bedroom furnished apartments in quiet neighborhood near Beckman and Engineering.

Dishwasher, AC, ethernet included.

Parking available. $580 -$630/mo.

493-8487, 355-6215 Extremely Large Two Bedroom 509 S. Fourth, All utilities included, Washer/Dryer $1060.

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

JOHN & LOCUST, C

Showing for Aug 2004. Quiet neighborhood. One block west of First Street and close to campus. Huge one bedroom apts, very bright. Window A/C, Carpet, Gas Heat. Parking $20/mo. Rents start at $350/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Fall 2004 1 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $440-$540 202 E. John $400-$585 910 S. Locust $550 2 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $580-$730 202 E. John $570-$860 509 S. Fourth $1060 610 E. Stoughton $600-$730 807 W. Oregon $700-$790 810 W. Iowa $660-$730

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished John Randolph Atrium Avail now for either semester or year lease. Rent a bedroom/bath close to Osco Drug on Randolph & John.

Starting at $300/mo. with basic utilities included. Call for showing.

Barr Real Estate, Inc. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com (217)384-6930 “believe the hype”

LINCOLN PLACE APARTMENTS NW Corner of Lincoln & Main, Urbana 2 & 3 Bedrooms Furnished Features: • ETHERNET • On-Site Resident Manager • Free Off-Street Parking • Laundry Facilities (5) • Cable, Carpeted • Dishwasher/Microwave • Frost-free Refrigerator • Energy Efficient/Sound Baffled • Well-Maintained • Owner Managed • No Pets

Now Leasing for Fall!

Call 328-0136

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Unurnished

OFF-CAMPUS APARTMENTS Unfurnished

115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Brand new luxury 1, 2, 3, bedroom apartments available in Champaign.

Call Manchester Property Management at 359-0248 for an appointment.

Available Aug 2004. 1 bedroom apts. in quiet Urbana neighborhood.

Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rents from $510/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

205 EAST HEALEY, C

Renting Aug 2004. Very large 1 bedroom apartments. Carpet, window A/C, parking available at $30/mo.

Rents start at $385/mo. Shown daily 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

309 W. Springfield, C. Spacious 2 BR townhouse now available. $550/mo. Flexible lease.

352-8540. PM 355-4608. www.faronproperties.com

606 S. Prairie, C.

Available now. Just remodeled 1 bedroom apartments in quiet Champaign neighborhood near campus.

Shown 7 days a week. Bargain Rent.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

lincolnplapts@mcleodusa.net

Unique 2 bdrm. Apt. 910 S. Locust, Very large, hardwood floors, washer/dryer, some utilities included $750 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

Very Large 2 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory, Big rooms, walk-in closets, Great location. $700-$730 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

APARTMENTS

19

722 S. BROADWAY, U.

Renting for Aug 2004. 1 bedroom apts. close to Lincoln Square Mall.

Carpet, window A/C, boiler heat.

Rents from $430/mo. Apts. shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

800 W. Church, C. Now avail. Economical 2 BR. $450/mo. 352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com

SUBLETS Sublet furnished apartment at rose for next year. We’ll $100/month of rent. Your rent $305/month, utilities included.

Paula at (618)579-9136.

Melpay only Call

SUBLETS Summer only HUGE 2 bedroom apt. Fourth and Green. Close to bars and Quad.

Cheap$. 563-650-5261

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES 1103 S. Busey Spacious 9 Bedroom House, Very large Bedrooms, Washer/Dryer, Parking Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

602 W. Michigan, U Avail 2004. 3 bedroom house with sunroom, washer & dryer, forced air heat. Rent $1,300/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

703 W. Green, U. Spacious remodeled, 5-6 BR, 2 Baths, A/C, internet, $1850/mo.

Avail. August. 840-8622.

801 W. Iowa Large 8 bedroom 3 Bath House, Furnished, Washer/Dryer, Lots of Parking Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

430

Unfurnished One bedroom near Lincoln Square.

Balcony, free parking. $430. 3446576.

3 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $1100 202 E. John $800 610 E. Stoughton $900-$1125 807 W. Oregon $1000-$1170 4 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $1200 5&6 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $1500-$1600 Houses 801 W. Iowa 8 Bedrooms $2500 1103 S. Busey 9 Bedrooms $3100

359-0700 • www.GabesPlace.com

COMPLETELY REMODELED URBANA THREE-BEDROOM

502 S. Anderson, Urbana is off-campus, but close, and is available to rent for August 2004. This threebedroom is on the second floor and features brand new Schrock cabinets, new bathroom, beautiful paint throughout, washer/dryer, 1500 sq. ft., and easy access to campus for only $950! Call 384-6930 NOW for your special showing.

JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com “believe the hype” Champaign County Apartment Association’s Member of the Year 2001

ENORMOUS 10BEDROOM HOUSE!

Yes! 802 S. Lincoln Ave, U. is available to rent for August 2004. Four refrigerators, two full and two half bathrooms, washer/dryer, fresh paint throughout, and the coolest landlord in town, for only $4495! Call 3846930 NOW for your special showing.

JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com “believe the hype” Champaign County Apartment Association’s Member of the Year 2001

ROOMS

903 W. NEVADA, U

FAIRLAWN VILLAGE FAIRLAWN & VINE Aug. 2004. Live in a peaceful, relaxed, neighborhood setting. Fairlawn Village is a one story apartment community, spread out on twelve acres, close to U of I, shopping and walking distance to schools. Spacious apartments with washer dryer hook up, A/C, and garages available. One bedrooms from $485/mo. Two bedrooms from $500 to $585/mo. Call for an appointment.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 344-5043 www.barr-re.com

Quality rooming house. Near Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Ave. Rooms avail for Aug. 2004. Rents from $260/mo to $330/mo. Laundry facilities, Common kitchen. Showing 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

ROOMMATES Female Roommates Needed For Fall 2004-Spring 2005. 307 A East Michigan Ave. Shared room. $300 + utilities. 708-955-1814.

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Baby Time – Come to the library for a halfhour of lap-bouncing, nursery rhymes, music activities and play time for your infants. Douglass Branch Library, meeting room. Thu 10:30-11am.

Babies’ Lap Time – Babies are invited to Phillips Recreation Center for Babies' Lap Time Tuesday from 10-10:30am, presented

by The Urbana Free Library Children’s Department. This program is for our youngest patrons, ages 6-24 months with an adult. No registration. For more info, call 367-4069.

O Baby! – Lap-bouncing, nursery rhymes and music activities for infants with a caregiver. Champaign Public Library, main library. Mon, 9:30-9:50am or 10:3010:50am. No registration required. For more information, call 403-2030.

Storyshop – Stories, songs and rhymes for preschoolers through third-graders, 9:3010am or 10:30-11am at Champaign Public Library, and 10:30-11am at Douglass Branch Library, both in Champaign. Wed. No registration.

Talkin’ About Careers – Students in middle school and up and their parents can hear local professionals discuss career choices.

No registration. Douglass Branch Library.

Thur, 6:30-7:45pm. Questions: 403-2090.

“Magic Tree House” party – school-aged fans of the “Magic Tree House” book series are invited to blast back into the past at this free party. Play Magic Tree House Bingo and win prizes. Champaign Public Library. April 3, 2-3pm. No registration required. Information: 403-2030.

Science Saturdays – Phillips Recreation Center. Sat, 10-11:30am. Registration required. Information: 367-1544.

EVENTS & LECTURES “Giving a Soul to Globalization” Colloquium – In conjunction with The Spirit of Fès performances Tuesday and Wednesday, Krannert Center presents a companion “Giving a Soul to Globalization” colloquium. The event includes a showing of Terrance Grace's film Sawt-e-Sarmad: The Sound That Intoxicates Man, an impression of Morocco's Fès Festival. Subsequent dialogue involves Muslim, Jewish, and Christian leaders from Champaign-Urbana in conversation with Spirit of Fès North American artistic director Zeyba Rahman and film director Terrance Grace. Tryon Festival Theatre. Wed, 5pm. Free.

Champaign County Audubon Society early morning bird walks – Busey Woods every Sunday morning at 7:30am. Meet at Anita Purves Nature Center parking lot.

344-6803.

C.S.I. at Parkland: Forensic Science in the Dome – What is forensic science and how much of what you see on the television is real? Tod Treat, dean of Academic Services at Parkland College, will look at the some of the basic techniques of forensic science and how the scientific method is used to solve crimes in his presentation,“Forensic Science: From Fingerprinting to DNA.” Parkland College Staerkel Planetarium.

April 2, 7pm. $1. Following the talk, the planetarium will be showing “Night Lights,” followed by the light show based on Pink Floyd's “Wish You Were Here.”

Students for Environmental Concerns' Earth Day Benefit Festival – Three local bands playing there: Green Mountain Grass, Apollo Project and Nadafinga, will perform in honor of the 34th celebration of Earth Day. Illini Union's Courtyard Cafe.

April 15, 6pm.

Singles Celebrating Life dance – Urbana

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MARCH 25-31, 2004

PHONE: 217/337-8337

Civic Center. Second Saturday of each month. 8pm-12am. $7 at the door.

DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

“Share a Meal with Community Shares” – This fundraiser helps local non-profits.

Thirty percent of your meal at Silvercreek restaurant goes to one of these charities.

For information, call 328-3402.

“Patronage of Art and Culture by Muslim Queens and Concubines” – a talk by Dede Ruggles, Department of Architecture.

Presented by The Feminist Scholarship Series. Gender & Women’s Studies Program, 911 S 6th St. Wed, 12pm.

Preview of the Roger Ebert Film Fest – Nancy Casey, assoc. dean for dev., College of Communications and producer of the fest will speak. The overlooked film festival was designed by Ebert to showcase films that have not reached as wide an audience as they deserve. Learn about this year’s line-up from the producer. Part of the Know Your University Lecture Series. Latzer Hall, University YMCA. Tue, 12pm.

“European Union: International Organization or Emerging State?” – Bob Pahre, University political science professor, will speak. The European Union is a novel political entity, neither a traditional international organization nor yet a conventional state. Pahre will present an overview of this new political system. Part of the Friday Forum Series. Latzer Hall, University YMCA. April 2, 12pm.

Geography Trilogy, Part 3: House, A Work in Progress – Ralph Lemon and his company spend six weeks at Krannert Center working on the final development of Lemon’s Geography Trilogy, Part 3 – House, an exploration of critical events in American racial history and the rich folk culture of the southern United States. Mar 15-April 25. Colwell Playhouse.

“Live! @ Your Library” feat. Colonel William Thompson – Hear a first-hand account of what it was this African American veteran who was there.

Thompson is one of the original Tuskegee Airmen. He has recently written a memoir about his wartime experiences. Champaign Public Library. April 6, 7pm. Registration not required. For more information, call 403-2070.

International Dinner – The University YMCA, Office of International Student Affairs and the Cosmopolitan Club will host its 21st annual International Dinner, which will have a large food buffet with food from more than 30 countries and international performers. University YMCA Latzer Hall. April 4, 6-8pm. Tickets on sale now, $10. For more information, call Becca Nieto at 337-1514.

Staerkel Planetarium Monthly Science Presentation – On the first Friday of each month that classes are in session, the planetarium will host a noted scientist from the community for a presentation on his or her expertise. Talks begin at 7pm and tickets are $1 at the door. No reservations necessary. Questions: 351-2446.

Job Fair 2004 at Parkland – 100+ employers and hiring representatives will talk about job opportunities. Bring resumes, fill out job applications and be prepared for on-the-spot interviews. There will be representation from a variety of career fields including business, technology, communications, healthcare, crinminal justice, manufacturing, hospitality, and human services.

April 8, 2-6pm in the Parkland Gymnasium.

Information: 351-2536.

“Letters from Heaven: Bolsheviks Against ‘Superstition’ and ‘Superstition Against Bolsheviks’” – a lecture by Steve Smith, history, University of Essex, England. Part of the Russian, East European and Eurasian Center’s Distinguished Lecturers Colloqium Series. 101 International Studies Building.

April 19, 4-5:30pm.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 34¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 25¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

Employment 000

OFF-CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished

HELP WANTED | Full Time

105 E. CLARK & 105 E. WHITE, C.

Express Personnel Services 217.355.8500 101 Devonshire Dr., Champaign

Services

100

BUSINESS SERVICES Stan’s Lawn Care Spring clean up 841-1218

1108 S. LINCOLN, U

CLEANING Exact Extraction. Carpet & upholstery cleaning. Free estimates. 6883101.

LAWN CARE FREE ESTIMATES: Tree trimming, Topping, Removal, Stump Grinding.

384-5010.

Apartments

Avail Aug 2004. Attractive modern loft apts. Dishwasher disposal, window a/c, ceiling fans, patio/ balconies, carpet, laundry, parking, 2nd floor skylights. Rents from $410/mo. $50/month to furnish. Apts. shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

400

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished

609 W. MAIN, U

Renting Aug 2004. Quiet building in nice Urbana neighborhood. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities. Gas Heat. Daily showings, 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. WALNUT, U

Renting for August 2004. Quiet neighborhood. 1 bedroom apts. from $475/mo. Gas heat, central a/c, laundry facilities. Parking included.

To furnish $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Aug 2004 rental. Older classic building close to Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Avenue. Upper apts. have hardwood floors. Laundry in building. Efficiencies have carpet and are furnished with rents from $325/mo. Unfurnished 1 bedrooms from $560/mo. 7 days a week showings.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

808 S. LINCOLN, U

Renting Aug 2004. Classic older building with Unfurnished 1 BR+ sun room, 1 BR + den, Furnished 2 BR apts and efficiency across from Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Ave. Near Krannert, Law School, Music, etc.

Features hardwood floors in upper units, laundry on site. Parking $45/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

1 BR+ SunRoom- from $605/mo(UF) 1 BR+ Den - from $605/mo (UF) 2 BR - from $495 (F) Efficiency - from $370/mo (F) BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 1 Bedroom w/ Den 202 E. John, patio, some utilities included. $530 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

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Courtyard Apartments 713 S. Randolph, Champaign Renting for Fall/2 & 3 Bedrooms.

Furnished & Unfurnished From $608/mo.

Includes cable, parking, water.

Has laundry facility and seasonal pool. Near campus and downtown Champaign.

352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished

1005 S. SIXTH, C.

Aug 2004. A+ location! Next to UI Library. Great older building. 1 bedrooms from $455/mo. Laundry facilities, Window A/C, Carpet. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1006 W. STOUGHTON, U.

Very close to Engineering campus.

Avail for Aug 2004. Masonry construction.

2 bedrooms from $620/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Parking $25/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

101 N. BUSEY & 102 N. LINCOLN, U.

August 2004. Excellent location near Green & Lincoln. 2 bedroom apts from $500/mo. Window A/C, Laundry. Parking avail at $30/mo. Apartments shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

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arts

MARCH 25-31, 2004 | HEY, LET'S POP SOME VIAGRAS AND ISSUE TICKETS WITH RAGING, MEGA-HUGE BONERS.

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Permanent human artwork

BY KARIE MILEWSKI | STAFF WRITER

years in the piercing industry, tattooing was the natural progression of the body modification business, said Dunavan. Altered Egos stands out from the typical tattoo parlor. The ivid purple flames painted on the wall sur- atmosphere is relaxed, inviting and positive.

“We don’t want to be the stereotypical round a room where a nervous girl gazes at her ‘motorcycle-tough-guy-loud-heavy-metalfoot that is about to be painted—permanently.

Jason Dunavan is an artist, but instead of a music’ tattoo parlor,” said Dunavan.

Altered Egos offers alterbrush he uses an electric natives to tattoos such as needle. On Wednesday piercing, branding and afternoon at Altered Egos henna tattoos. He has given in Champaign, 18-yearcustomers flesh artwork for old Bailey Eckhoff’s right the past one-and-a-half foot is about to become years, but he has been tatDunavan’s canvas.

Jason Dunavan tooing friends and tattoo Bottles of ink, lotion, artists for the past two. rubbing alcohol and conBranding requires a thin tainers of cotton puffs line the table next to Eckhoff. Even with the multi- piece of metal, called an iron, to be heated. The tude of colorful cartoons decorating the room, iron scars the flesh by burning the desired Dunavan stands out. His arms, legs and neck are images into the skin. The scar ensures a permanent design, said Dunavan. one large picture.

“Branding is pretty rare around here. It’s “Sometimes too much looks bad, but all the usually a butterfly or heart (tattoo) for the girls tattoos that I have are a running theme,” said Dunavan.

He helped open Altered Egos three years ago with the intent of offering piercing, but he was quick to turn to tattooing. After eight

V

[

I respect so many different styles and techniques.

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102 N. GREGORY, U.

August 2004. Close to Illini Union. 2 bedrooms at $500/mo. Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry. Parking available at $30/mo. 7 days a week showings.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Wilson Place Apartments 611 West Green Street, Urbana

New 2-bedroom Luxury Apartments in a quiet, historic, residential Urbana neighborhood available August 2003.

Beautifully designed - Georgian style architecture with a brick exterior - bay windows - attractive color schemes.

•Balcony or patio •Broadband internet access Each unit provides: •Washer/dryer •Buzzer/intercom access •Dishwasher •New furniture package •Microwave •Recessed lighting •Garbage disposal •Ceramic tile in kitchen, entry, and bathrooms •Assigned parking space to each unit •Extensive landscaping $950/month - $50/month parking Located at the corner of Green Street and Coler Street two blocks east of Lincoln Avenue, this location is close to the University of Illinois Law School, Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, Computer Science, BARR Engineering, and Music buildings.

R E A L . E S T A T E South Neil St. Great for grad students, professionals, couples or singles. 1710 Champaign, Illinois Second bedroom could make a great office or den. www.barr-re.com 217.356.1873

Tattoo artist Jason Dunavun adds detail to patron Bailey Eckhoff’s right foot.

and a tribal band around a guy’s arm,” said Dunavan.

Eckhoff chose a rose as her first tattoo. She jumps to the buzzing of the needle when Dunavan clicks it on. The needle threads into her flesh, and Eckhoff slightly winces but quickly recovers. The first few seconds are the worse, but then your nerves become numb, said Dunavan.

Dunavan got his first tattoo: a bomb on the web in between his index finger and thumb on his right hand when he was 18. Many years Lines of ink bottles line Altered Egos’ walls. later, Dunavan’s flesh canvas has greatly diminished as more colors shine from Dunavan continues to get fellow co-worker ’s artwork permanently displayed on his his skin.

Just as a McDonald’s employee enjoys body. His decorated limbs are a combination of the delicacy of free Big Macs, a tattoo his own designs as well as designs by artistic artist benefits from free ink decoration, f r i e n d s a n d other talented tattoo artists.

“I respect so many different styles and said Dunavan. A free piece of artwork that techniques. Art has always you can keep forever is worth the pain.

“It hurt really bad. They (tattoos) still do been a big influence on and really, I hate getting them,” my decision to go into tattooing,” Dunavan said.

D e s p i t e t h e p a i n , said Dunavan.

PHOTOS | KARIE MILEWSKI

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I CAN SAY “MEOW.� I CAN SAY “MOO.� FOR TWENTY BUCKS, I’LL CALL THE GUY A CHICKEN-FUCKER. | MARCH 25-31, 2004

PHOTO | KARIE MILEWSKI

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3/23/04

Jennifer Wheeler, Eckhoff’s friend and support, flips through a book of Dunavan’s tattoo designs. “I’m looking to get a fourth one. It is addicting, but this time maybe I’ll design it myself,� said Wheeler.

Dunavan does both flash (tattoos already designed by the artist) and custom (tattoos designed by the customer) tattoos.

Custom tattoos are the best part about the job, said Dunavan. It is always more interesting to do something different than the flash tattoos that have been done so many times before. “It’s like having two artists converge their talents together to make one collaborative piece,� said Dunavan.

The three tattoo artists at Altered Egos have their own specific style which is displayed in their own flash tattoo books. “New school� is the style that describes Dunavan’s designs. Mostly, the style con-

ARTIST’S CORNER

G

eorgia Morgan has lived in Urbana since 1970, and has been making oneof-a-kind jewelry since about 1990. She honestly can’t remember exactly how she got started, but she never imagined then that it would be something she would stay up late and get up early to work on. Her most recent works can be seen at Mom’s Day Craft Fair at the Illini Union April 17, from 10 a.m.-5 p.m., and at her Web site, www.bead-designs.com. Her newest gallery is Wind, Water & Light, 415 E. Main St., Mahomet (grand opening, April 16).

She also has works for sale at: Prairie Boatworks, 407 E Main St., Mahomet, IL 61853; (217) 586-6776; International Galleries, 114 Lincoln Sq., Urbana, IL 61801; (217) 328-2254; and Nic’s Basket Case 201 N. Neil St., Champaign, IL 61820; (217) 373-7926.

What do you like about working with the materials that you use?

I was drawn to the beads, and later the clay, because of the colors— not only the vibrant ones, but the subtler ones, as well. But it’s a very tactile medium. I love the cool, smooth feel of stone beads, and the warmer, silky feel of polymer beads and tiles.

How did you come to work with polymer clay?

Fourth of July 2002, I wanted three big-hole beads for an 18-gauge wire bracelet. After 45 tedious minutes of enlarging holes in stone beads, I remembered I had a 2-ounce packet of polymer clay that my children

had given me as a Mother’s Day gift around 1986. I checked the Internet for tips on working with it, and I’ve been exploring what can be done with this wonderful substance ever since.

What are some of the benefits of creating such different pieces?

I am pleased that my work appeals to people of all ages and many different tastes. I made elegant pendants for my granddaughters last winter, because my daughter had a hard time getting hers back from them.

Where do you get inspiration from?

Acorns I stumble (upon) on the Quad, color combinations in furnishings; catalogs in general, shapes and colors that impinge on my visual field! As I was arranging the brooches for a show a couple of years ago, I realized that I was strongly attracted to botanical themes—I think that is what attracts me to Art Nouveau work. I don’t think I can articulate yet which art deco motifs inspire me-there are so many.

sists of big, bold and colorful cartoons, said Dunavan.

After 15 minutes pass, Eckhoff’s right foot displays a bright red rose. The rose will cost her $50, which is the minimum price of a tattoo in the Champaign area. The more elaborate and larger a tattoo is, the more money it will cost, Dunavan said.

Dunavan recently completed a piece on a customer ’s back. For four hours each Tuesday afternoon, the customer came back to get it worked on, said Dunavan. After 20 hours, the artwork was completed at $2,500.

Whether the tattoo is large or small, custom or flash, it will always be unique, said Dunavan. It is part of what makes tattooing an art form. “My policy is that every tattoo will be different. Even if I do the same design from one person to the next, there will be some variation. Every person is unique and a tattoo is an expression of that,� said Dunavan. buzz

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calendar

MARCH 25-31, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

decorative pottery. 305 W Grigg St in Urbana. MonFri 11am-4pm, or call for appointment. 344-8546.

Hill Street Gallery Inc. – Oil and watercolor paintings, hand painted T-shirts, handmade jewelry. 703 W Hill in Champaign. Sat 12-5pm or by appointment during the week. 359-0675.

Larry Kanfer Gallery – European Collection featured in the gallery. Both limited and open edition prints by Larry Kanfer, nationally acclaimed photographer. 2503 S Neil in Champaign. Free and Open to the Public. Mon-Sat 10am-5:30pm. 3982000. www.kanfer.com.

pm. Gallery: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

Ziemer Gallery – Paintings and limited edition prints by Larry Ziemer. Pottery, weavings, wood turning and glass works by other artists. 210 W Washington in Monticello. Tue 10am-8pm, Wed-Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. www.ziemergallery.com. 762-9786.

ART EXHIBITS

Laser’s Edge – Oil paintings on canvas and framed etchings by Sandra Ahten along with work from Lee Boyer now showing. 218 W. Main Street, Urbana. Mon-Fri 9am-5pm. 328-3343.

9th Biennial Ceramics Invitational – The Parkland invitational features the work of nine contemporary ceramic artists. This year's exhibit focuses on functional ceramics, with a specific look at the rich decorative surface that clay provides. The exhibit will be on display in the Parkland Art Gallery through April 9. 115 E. University, C. M-F, 10am3pm, M-Th, 6-8pm, Sat, 12-2pm. 351-2485.

LaPayne Photography – Specializes in panoramic photography up to 6 feet long of different subjects including sporting events, city skylines, national parks and University of Illinois scenes. 816 Dennison Dr in Champaign. Mon-Fri 9am-4pm and by appointment. 356-8994.

“Beyond East and West: Seven Transnational Artists� – The Krannert Museum has put together a traveling exhibition bringing together the work of seven major contemporary artists who share a connection to both worlds. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3. 333-1860.

Old Vic Art Gallery – Fine and original art, hand signed, limited edition prints, works by local artists, art restoration, custom framing, and periodic shows by local artists. 11 E University in Champaign. Mon-Thu 11am-5:30pm, Sat 11am4:30pm. 355-8338.

Prairie Boatworks Gallery – Beautifully hand-crafted gift items and over 35 regional artist to choose from. 407 E Main St in Mahomet. Tue, Fri, Sat 10am5pm, Sun 12-4pm. 586-6776. Information: contact Mary at 356-8228 or tangoradesigns@aol.com.

Steeple Gallery – Vintage botanical and bird prints, antiques and framed limited edition prints. 102 E Lafayette St in Monticello. Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. www.steeplegallery.com. 762-2924.

Verde Gallery – The work of local artist Sylvia Arnstein will be on display in the halls and cafÊ. 17 E Taylor St in Champaign. Cafe: Mon-Sat 7am-10

“Whistler and Japonisme: Selections from the Permanent Collection� – James McNeill Whistler’s works are highlighted on paper and examines the influence that Japanese woodcuts had on his artistic technique. On display at Krannert Art Museum through Mar 28. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm.

Suggested donation $3. 333-1860. “Water and Wood� – Featuring the watercolors of Beverly Sanderson and the wood carvings of the Illini Carvers. On display at the Hays Center through Mar 26. 1211 W. Church, Champaign. MonFri 8am-4pm. 398-2376. “Social Studies: Eight Artists Address Brown v.

Board of Education� – In this exhibit, eight contemporary artists commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Brown v. Board of Education desegre-

gation case. All participating artists have a history of making art that deals with pressing social issues in American society - gender, class, race, and politics. Krannert Art Museum. April 2. Exhibit on view through May 23. The museum is open to the public Tue-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm.

Free admission. Sugg donation: $3.

ON STAGE Elysium on the Prairie, Live Action Roleplaying – Vampires stalk the city streets and struggle for dominance in a world of gothic horror. Create your own character and mingle with dozens of players who portray their own undead alter egos. Each session is another chapter in an ongoing story of triumph, tragedy and betrayal. Fridays,“Vampire: The Masquerade.� 7pm. For location: www2.uiuc.edu/ro/elysium/intro.html.

FILM The Fairy Queen – Henry Purcell’s semi-opera will be under the direction of Charlotte Mattax and performed by U of I opera singers, dancers, the Concert Choir, and Concerto Urbana. Sung in English. Tryon Festival Theatre. April 23, 24 at 7:30pm.

The Barbarian Invasions – Rated R. Academy award winner for best foreign language film and original screenplay. Spoken in French, this film has refined humor, intellectual dialogue and emotional, offbeat relationships. Boardman’s Art Theatre. Playing through April 1. For showtimes, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

But I’m a Cheerleader – When 17-year-old, cheerleader Megan’s (Natasha Lyonne) parents think she is a lesbian, they send her to a homosexual deprogramming camp where Megan meets charismatic camper and fellow suspected lesbian Graham (Clea DuVall) and starts to wonder if she really does prefer the fairer sex. Krannert Art Museum, rm 62. April 8, 5:30pm.

! WEEK PLUS A LITTLE BIT MORE IN THE LIFE OF #HAMPAIGNn5RBANA

contemporary clothing jewelry, accessories, & shoes

What are some things in your work environment that influence you?

I had an epiphany this summer when I realized that I feel really cramped and stifled by an overly orderly workspace (the blank-sheet-of-paper syndrome), so my clay space is dotted with scraps of clay and bits of canes (3D patterns of clay), and loose beads and pearls and bits of wire are scattered around the assembly space. Fortunately, I am able to keep the tools corralled, or I’d spend half my time looking for them amongst the treasure.

CU in 7 plus 4HIS IS THE HEARTLAND OF !MERICA ! "IG 4EN UNIVERSITY hTOWNv WITH RICH DIVERSITY THAT EXTENDS WELL BEYOND CAMPUS BOUNDARIES #5 IN PLUS IS A LOVING PHOTOGRAPHIC PORTRAIT OF THESE CITIES AND THE SURROUNDING AREA ! MID SIZED COMMUNITY LIKE SO MANY OTHERS ILLUSTRATED HERE BY DOCUMENTING BOTH THE RAW AND THE BEAUTIFUL *UST LIKE A FAMILY THIS PLACE HAS A WIDE VARIEY OF PEOPLE HAPPY SAD MOTIVATED EASY GOING UPWARDLY MOBILE TRYING TO GET BACK ON SOLID FOOTING #5 IN PLUS SHOWS THE REAL PLACE AND THE

PHOTOS | RODERCIK GEDEY

BY KATIE RICHARDSON | ARTS EDITOR

buzz

REAL PEOPLE

107 n. walnut Downtown Champaign 217.359.2195

0ICK UP YOUR COPY AT LOCAL BOOKSTORES

M - Th 10:30 - 5:30 Fri - Sat 10:30 - 5:00 Sun 11:00 - 4:00

4O ORDER AND FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE BOOK GO TO WWW ILLINIMEDIA COM CU PLUS

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Elephant – Rated R. Winner of the Golden Palm at the Cannes Film Festival 2003. A film addressing school violence such as the Columbine High School shootings. Directed by Gus Van Sant.

Boardman’s Art Theatre. Starts playing after The Barbarian Invasions stops April 1. For more information, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

KIDS & FAMILY Family Fun Day Sunday in the Square – Enjoy interactive rides this Sunday. There will also be food, shopping, games, miniature golf and more.

Lincoln Square Mall. Sun, 1-5pm. For more info, call the Urbana Business Association at 344-3872.

Funfare – Come to The Phillips Recreation Center Thursday, April 1, presented by The Urbana Free Library Children’s Department. Preschool groups are invited to come from 9:45-10:15am (Groups please register with the Children’s Department in advance at 367-4069). Families are invited to come from 10:30-11am. Both programs will feature stories, songs, puppets, and films for children their parent(s)or caregiver(s). No registration required.

Information: 367-4069.

My Preschool Genius – A book-centered program focusing on language. Preschoolers can listen to dynamic picture book presentations and explore the art of picture book illustration. Champaign Public Library. Tue, 9:30-10am. Registration required. Call 403-2030.

Girls, Girls, Girls! – Games, crafts, and reading time for girls in grades 1-4. Douglass Branch Library. Fri, 4-5pm. No registration.

KnowZone – Homework help for school-aged children. Tue 4-5pm. Douglass Branch Library. No registration required.

T.A.C.K. – The library’s Thursday Arts and Crafts for Kids program welcomes children to come make a craft. Douglass Branch Library, Conference Room.

Thu 4-5pm.

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4/16 Thrills @ Metro 4/16 Orchestra Baobab @ HotHouse, two shows 4/16 Eddie From Ohio, Luther Wright & the Wrong @ FitzGerald's 4/16 Baaba Maal @ Old Town School of Folk Music, two shows 4/16 Mason Jennings @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 4/16 Peter Mulvey @ Schubas 4/17 Asylum Street Spankers @ Schubas 4/17 Mustard Plug @ Metro, all-ages 4/17 Ellis Paul @ Schubas, two shows 4/17 Pinback, Enon @ Logan Square Auditorium, all-ages 4/17-18 Rebirth Brass Band @ Martyrs' 4/18 Rasputina @ House of Blues, 18+ 4/18 Renee Fleming @ Symphony Center 4/20 Air @ Riviera 4/20 Iced Earth @ Metro, all-ages 4/20 Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe @ House of Blues, 18+ 4/20 Sebadoh @ Abbey Pub 4/21 Delirious, David Crowder Band @ Vic, all-ages 4/21 Joss Stone @ House of Blues 4/22 Leon Russell @ Bottom Lounge 4/23 Crystal Method @ House of Blues, all-ages 4/23 Morbid Angel @ Oasis 160, all-ages 4/23 Savath & Savalas w/ Prefuse 73 @ Abbey Pub 4/23 Yellowcard, Something Corporate @ Riviera 4/23 Strokes @ Aragon, sold out 4/24 Robert Walter’s 20th Congress @ Abbey Pub 4/24 Bad Plus @ Martyrs’ 4/24 Fruit @ Schubas 4/24 Indigo Girls @ Auditorium Theatre 4/24 Tony Rice & Lonesome River Band @ Old Town School of Folk Music 4/24 Pat McGee Band @ House of Blues, 18+ 4/24 Of Montreal @ Subterranean 4/25 Janis Ian @ Old Town School of Folk Music 4/27 LCD Soundsystem @ Empty Bottle 4/27 Damien Rice @ Riviera, all-ages 4/28 Deerhoof @ Empty Bottle 4/28 James Murphy @ Smart Bar 4/30 Einsturzende Neubauten @ Metro, 18+ 4/30 Graham Parker @ Martyrs'

CHICAGOVENUES Abbey Pub 3420 W Grace, Chicago, (773) 478-4408 Allstate Arena 6920 N Mannheim Rd, Rosemont, (847) 635-6601 Aragon 1106 W Lawrence, Chicago, (773) 561-9500 Arie Crown Theater 2301 S Lake Shore Dr, Chicago, (312) 791-6190 Bottom Lounge 3206 N Wilton, Chicago, (773) 975-0505 Chicago Theatre 175 N State St, Chicago, (312) 443-1130 Congress Theatre 2135 N Milwaukee, Chicago, (312) 923-2000 Double Door 1572 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago, (773) 489-3160 Elbo Room 2871 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 549-5549 Empty Bottle 1035 N Western Ave, Chicago, (773) 276-3600 Fireside Bowl 2648 W Fullerton Ave, Chicago, (773) 486-2700 House of Blues 329 N Dearborn, Chicago, (312) 923-2000 Martyrs' 3855 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 404-9494 Metro/Smart Bar 3730 N Clark St, Chicago, (773) 549-0203 Old Town School of Folk Music 4544 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 728-6000 Park West 322 W Armitage, Chicago, (773) 929-5959 Riviera Theatre 4746 N Racine, Chicago, (773) 275-6800 Rosemont Theatre 5400 N River Rd, Rosemont, (847) 671-5100 Schubas 3159 N Southport, Chicago, (773) 525-2508 UIC Pavilion 525 S Racine, Chicago, (312) 413-5700 Vic Theatre 3145 N Sheffield, Chicago, (773) 472-0449

ART NOTICES

Art Classes by Sandra Ahten – To register, email spiritofsandra@hotmail.com (preferred) or call 367-6345.

“Collage for the Soul” – Students will learn a variety of collage techniques, including photo and photocopy transfer, papermaking and manipulation, wax application, and more, while exploring a particular subject. No art-making experience necessary. This class is great for creative exploration and for those who want to take scrapbooking to a new level. Work with your own family photos. Mar 30, April 6, 13, 20, 27. Tue, 7-9pm. $95.

“Art with Intention” – This class is not grouptaught, but is flexible and individually directed to each of the students. It is an opportunity for adults to explore their creative voices. Individualized projects will be based on the student's desire to learn new media such as watercolor or encaustic, gain skill in drawing or painting, or complete a project such as a pencil or oil portrait. Materials provided. Thur 2-hr drop-in time, 3-9pm. $95 for 5 (2-hour) sessions in 6 weeks.

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MARCH 25-31, 2004

“Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” – For adults who have always wanted to learn to draw, but felt like they lacked talent or confidence. This class teaches “realistic” or “naturalistic” drawing.

Students learn that drawing well is really a matter of learning a new way of seeing. Youth accepted with permission. Thur 6-8pm, April 1 & 29.

Call For Artists: 2004 Art Exhibition Series Call for Artists – The Champaign Park District is seeking local visual artists to apply for this new venue at the Springer Cultural Center. Exhibits strive to present artistic and ethnic diversity of ChampaignUrbana and surrounding area artists. The call will continue through Wed. Call for more information.

398-2376.

Creation Art Studios – Ongoing after-school art classes for children. Morning, evening, and weekend studio sessions for adults. Join anytime. Unveil your inherent creative style, exploring materials, techniques, and process, and developing studio skills. Learn to create openings to access dreams, ideas, and issues of heart, mind, and body. Produce your own work through collage, assemblage art, drawing, watercolor, acrylic and oil painting, ceramics, and sculpture. CPDU’s offered. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955.

Visit the studio, 1102 E Washington St. Urbana or www.creationartstudios.com.

Editor’s note: This feature has a little bit of opinion.

We’ve tried to talk to Steve about this to no avail. Rest assured that he will be flogged mercilessly in the dank, brutally-unhip Buzz dungeons.

398-4411

BY STEVE KLINE | STAFF WRITER

Founded after the 1991 Gulf War, this festival celebrates the power of music to promote peace and understanding. On its first American tour, the "Spirit of Fès" presents an array of revered artists from around the globe reflecting Sephardic Jewish, Moroccan, Sufi, and Gospel musical traditions.

ART GALLERIES Boneyard Pottery – Ceramic Art by Michael Schwegmann and others. 403 Water St in Champaign. Tue-Sat 11am-5pm. 355-5610.

Broken Oak Gallery – Local and national artists, original art including photography, watercolors, pottery, oil paintings, colored pencil, and woodturning. Refreshments served by the garden all day Saturday. 1865 N 1225 E Rd in White Heath.

Thu-Sat 10am-4pm. 762-4907.

Café Kopi – “Digital Evolutions,” photographs by John Sfondilias on display through February. 109 N Walnut in Champaign. Mon-Thu 7am-11pm, Fri-Sat 7am-12pm, Sun 11am-8pm. 359-4266.

Creation Art Studios – Featuring original art by students and members of the studio. 1102 E Washington St in Urbana. Mon-Fri 3-5:30pm, Sat 14pm and other scheduled studio times. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955.

Country in the City – Antiques, Architectural, Gardening and Home Accessories. Custom designing available. 1104 E Washington St in Urbana. ThuSat 10am-5pm. 367-2367.

Framer's Market – Frame designers since 1981.

Ongoing work from local artists on display. 807 W Springfield Ave in Champaign. Tue-Fri 9:30am5:30pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 351-7020.

Furniture Lounge – Specializing in mid-century modern furniture from the 1920s to the 1980s – retro, Danish modern, lighting, vintage stereo equipment and vinyl records. 9 E University in Champaign. Sun-Tues 12-4:30pm, Wed-Sat 115:30pm. 352-5150.

Glass FX – New and Antique Stained Glass Windows, Lamps and unique glass gifts. Gallery is free and open to the public. Interested in learning the art of Stained Glass? Beginning, intermediate and advanced stained glass classes offered. 202 S First St in Champaign. Mon-Thu 10am-5:30pm, Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 9am-4pm. www.glassfx.com.

359-0048.

Griggs Street Potters – Handmade functional and

Mar 30-31

FÈS FESTIVAL

Françoise Atlan and Jamey Haddad Hadra des Femmes de Taroudant

of World Sacred Music

The Anointed Jackson Sisters Gabriel Meyer and Yacoub Hussein

9

music

MARCH 25 - 31, 2004 | WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO SEE COOKIE MONSTER SING A TOM WAITES SONG?

The Lincoln Castle Hotel’s karaoke night provides weekly entertainment

Special events, Fraternities, and don’t forget We Deliver!

Now Signing Contracts for Next Semester!

Art Retreats – First Sundays Art of Creation, Passion, and Restoration Retreats at Creation Art Studios with independent artist Jeannine Bestoso.

Recreate your original self, ignite your passions, and resurrect buried or lost visions through guided art activities, journal writing, reflection, and quiet group involvement. A transformative experience of personal expansion and clarity that can lead you onto a path of new directions and creative living. April 4, 9am-3pm. Pre-registration required. Lunch provided. For more information and to register, contact Jeannine Bestoso at 3446955.

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This is going to be easy, I think as I walk into Historic Lincoln Hotel’s (formerly Jumer’s Hotel) Alumni Tap. Sit back, watch karaoke, get some decent photos in the screwy bar lighting, then go home and make fun of everything in the article. Gee, karaoke? Fish in a barrel.

The Historic Lincoln Hotel has featured karaoke Friday and Saturday for the past two years. Paul Faber, of Dragon Productions, heads up the event every Friday. “It’s unpredictable,” Faber said, “Sometimes we good some really good singers in here and sometimes we, well, don’t.”

A group of nine pulls some tables together and pesters each other to be the first at the microphone. They brought a tambourine.

On the big screen television in the corner, there’s an elderly woman with a cane laughing maniacally at the camera.

Who knows what that show was all about, but I’m suddenly scared shitless. This won’t be easy to handle with only five bucks: Cell phone to the rescue!

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jacob, this is Steve. Look, if I’m going to sit here all night watching karaoke I’m going to have to drink. Since this is for a story, think Buzz can pick up my bar tab?”

“What? Umm….I’ll see what I can do, okay?”

“Thanks. *click*” Check and mate, Buzz,……check and mate. (That means checkmate) Steve: 1 Buzz: 0 Three of the nine, one middle-aged man in a golf shirt and two females board the stage. Their rendition of “Do-WahDiddy” isn’t exactly perfect, but it’s not horrifying. It’s, you know, karaoke.

“We get a lot of the old regulars at the hotel,” Faber says, “Many were around back when we were doing this at Mabel’s.”

Faber owned Mabel’s which once stood where Brother’s Bar and Grill does now. It closed down in 2000. “It wasn’t the frat bar there now,” he said, “There were live bands and every Sunday we had

karaoke.” Mabel’s featured karaoke for about ten years.

Faber steps up from behind the mixer to the microphone. In a black suit, Buddy Holly glasses, and a pompadour that could consume other pompadours alive, he cranks out “California Blue.” It’s pretty damned impressive, especially the on-key falsetto ending. The ever-growing crowd shows their appreciation as Faber walks

[

[

“A guy took his pants off on the first song of the night. What do you do for an encore after that?

– Paul Faber

back to the mixer.

It’s one of those things you want to share with readers, but all my camera picks up is some dude with a goofy haircut. It’s beginning to feel like Buzz (with its smarmy italics) has turned me into a cop at a kegger.

These people only want to have fun but I’m here to record all Tomfoolery and possibly through it back at them in print with Billy Idol sneer. (Think there’s Billy Idol on their playlist?)

Steve: 1 Buzz: 1 As the night wears on The Alumni tap starts to really fill up. A bachelorette party comes in with the bride-to-be in a purple wig and a bridle veil speckled with candy and condoms. Her friends scatter about the bar and tell all male patrons, “Eat a piece of candy off the bride for a dollar,” pointing to little candies which also cover the top of the bride’s shirt.

Think the editors will cover the candy tab?

A man with long hair and T-shirt tucked into his jeans tries out “House of the Rising Sun” with enough moxie to the audience wish for stronger drinks. Hate to say it, but it probably made Van Morrison spin in his grave.

Keep in mind that “House of the Rising Son” wasn’t even WRITTEN by Van Morrison AND, as far as the mirror-test tells us, Morrison isn’t even dead yet. We’re talking about some serious butcherin’ here.

In the middle of the song, during a 4-bar break, he hits his chest a few times and

calms down after sipping his beer. You can’t see that often enough.

“A few weeks ago a guy took his pants off on the first song of the night. What do you do for an encore after that?”

True. Nothing says, “Here’s my rock n’ roll ante,” like “Here’s my underoos now go forth and spread your knowledge of my underwear for the greater good of society.” (at least that’s what I personally think when suddenly pants-less in a bar. Who knows what others are thinking.)

People aren’t here to impress.

They’re not here to show off god-given abilities or hook up or act cool or anything of the sort. It’s about a second of rockstardom without those stupid little Rolling Stone or PitchForkMedia commentators saying what’s good or bad. It’s a receptive audience besides highly-evolved shower mildew.

They’re here to have fun, and I’m here to make fun. They know it, I know it, and suddenly I’m the seventh grader heckling the school play.

“Karaoke tends to change with the times,” Faber says, adding that it fluctuates in popularity just like other forms of entertainment. “I think, in a bar atmosphere, it works.” Historic Lincoln Hotel’s Alumni Tap is just small enough to have a receptive audience, yet just large enough so the audience will forget about puberty-residue creeping up in your voice during the worst

possible times.

That’s where it hits me: pack up the camera, put away the notebook, and enjoy the night without dissecting it. For the love of god, let people have fun. Don’t be that guy; rock the hell out or get the hell out.

Steve: 2 Buzz: 1 Tie. “Come on by and check it out, there are always a few surprises,” Faber said.

Enjoy Dragon Productions and “G” Force Karaoke night at the Historic Lincoln Castle Hotel Alumni Tap Bar, every Friday and Saturday night starting at 9 p.m.

PHOTO | STEVE KLINE

032504buzz09116

Paul Faber looks up from the mixing board Friday night.

032504buzz1015

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music

NOW THOSE ARE SOME UGLY MUGS | MARCH 25 - 31 , 2004

buzz

All that glitters is not gold: A second look at file-sharing MENDOZA MUSIC LINE

BY BRIAN MERTZ | STAFF WRITER

S

ometimes only a concrete event will change our strongest opinions. For me, the closing of Record Service on March 5th altered my opinion about one of my strongest beliefs in music: that there is nothing wrong with downloading pirated music.

In a case of cosmic irony (or perhaps wellplanned journalistic balance) I read Liz Mozzocco’s Mendoza Music Line column absolving online pirates in the same issue that I wrote about the closing of the last independent record store on U of I’s campus. On one page was a story about how online piracy contributed to this store’s demise, and on the flipside was Liz’s column to help all of us feel better about stealing our MP3s.

I cannot argue with the reasons that she gave to support online piracy. Record companies are some of the most bloated and greedy corporations in the world. They are assholes when you get down to it.

And if you find artists who truly understand the economics of music like Chuck D (and unlike that self-absorbed middle-aged imp

TopFive

Lars Ulrich), they’ll tell you that their cut from album sales is pitifully low. If the music world were only made up of labels and artists, then every time you fire up your file-sharing program, you would be engaging in some worthwhile civil disobedience. Henry David Thoreau would be proud.

I shared Liz’s view that I could do no wrong by downloading music until Record Service actually closed its doors. There is more to the music world than labels and artists. There are independent stores that all of us music junkies love, but many of us hurt by trading downloads for purchases.

I had talked to Record Service’s owner Phil Strang several times in the past and he always mentioned how downloading affected his store’s sales. And while even Phil doesn’t believe that was the only thing that caused Record Service to go under, he believed it was a bigger problem than a lot of us–myself included.

What sold me on the dangers of downloading was the time I spent going through the remaining CDs that were super-discounted during Record Service’s last week of business.

There were four copies of the Baha Men. Any Britney Spears album you wanted was there.

Crazytown in all its “Butterfly” glory continued to gather dust. Nickelcrap still proudly stood out on the shelf as a testament to poop.

What was left that last week was truly the unheard of or the unwanted.

Perhaps Record Service should take some of the blame for not adapting to the reality that small stores can’t survive by selling Britney Spears CDs in the same way that they used to survive by selling Tiffany LPs. But I’m willing to take some of the blame for my downloading habits. I could have bought that Promise Ring EP I used to think was overpriced instead of just stealing it online.

So right here and now, I’m making a promise to change. I’m still going to continue downloading music–especially those catchy mainstream songs from terrible albums (like the new G-Unit single).

But when I download or receive a burn of an album or a band on a small independent label that I know is available exclusively at an independent record store, I’m going out to buy the album. My download habits will still serve a valuable function for previewing music, but I am going to follow through on my previews and actually buy all of the stuff I love.

The artist and the label might not care, but the store I support certainly will.

So Parasol get ready. I’m coming for a real copy of We Have the Facts and We’re Voting Yes to replace my burn. And I’m probably going to buy some vinyl too. buzz

metal singer look even though it was becoming apparent that he was losing hair. Today we have this balding and wrinkly Steven-Segal looking KISS lord.

He’ll make appearences for the media in a variety of faces, the baseball cap (concealing the hair loss) casual look, the retired mafia boss look (see photo), or occassionally making his way to the make-up booth for good old KISS Gene.

that you please accept you have aged and are no longer a “sex symbol” of rock. You may have been “Diamond Dave,” but your luster is faiding and your hair is greying. Those pants you are sporting (see photo) aren’t the best decision for your “golden years.” They may be golden, but I don’t think that’s what they’re about. Perhaps you should join Vince Neil next to the pool in sunny Florida.

When Brian Mertz isn’t stealing music online, he’s going to law school and working as a house DJ. You can hear him spin all of his legally bought house records Saturday nights at Nargile.

Ugly old rockers

1. Keith Richards

Boy has this guy had a hard life. So he toured extensively with one of the the greatest rock and roll bands of all time. In interviews and other public appearences he seems lost and incomprehensible.

With a cigarette dangling from his lips, he garbles off hard-to-understand British quips followed soon by a smoker’s hack. Look at this picture for goodness sake.

He looks like his face is sinking into his neck and soon all that will remain is his “rocker’s bandanna.” Careful Keith, don’t rock too hard for fear of your head falling off of your shoulders.

4. David Lee Roth

So you may have been the frontman for one of the 80s premier rock and roll bands, but that doesn’t give you the right to go prancing around dressed like that. That look may have worked 20 years ago as you belted out the words to “Panama,” but today we ask

3. Gene Simmons

He should have kept the make-up on. When he is clad in his full KISS garb, Gene Simmons is a rock and roll god. With his legions of fans he is able to command a crowd with the simple appearence of his snake-like tongue. During the 80s, and a notable low point for KISS, Gene maintained the long-haired

2. Vince Neil

At first, I took this as evidence that the rumblings some people (myself included) made about Record Service were true: that the store had lost touch with the college consumer. No one was ever going to buy these terrible titles in the first place.

But as I started to put the pieces of the puzzle together, I realized at one point in time, people would have bought the 1980s equivalent of this crap. However, today, when it is far easier and cheaper to download the one catchy single from an album that otherwise contains pitiful excuses for music, it is not surprising that these albums were the ones left behind.

Mainstream pop albums aren’t going to keep a small record store alive. The big stores sell cheaper CDs (because they can and because the major labels give the big stores millions in advertising each year to get away with the cheap sales). And when a person doesn’t want to buy the new Blink 182 album, even at the low cost of $8.99, they just download it.

Those downloads are killing small record stores around the country, but not every store.

Some stores quickly adapted and focused on becoming niche stores. They only sold titles that were hard to find online, or were so very special that people wanted to own a real copy instead of just a digital copy. And yes, people still do make special, “must-own” albums.

Radiohead’s special edition of Hail to the Thief is a perfect example.

Boy, some of those old 80s hair metal guys have let themselves go. Years of hard rocking, sexual promiscuity, heavy drug use and sleepless tours lead to some weathered individuals. I’m looking at you Rikkie Rockett, Nikkie Sixx, Tommy Lee, C.C. DeVille, Mick Mars and Vince Neil, and that is just two bands we’re talking about. Somehow the mulitple tatooed look that was once hip for these rockers has become a little gross with aged skin. Neil went from being “sexy metal lead singer” to “bloated old man vacationing in Florida” (see photo).

5.Dennis DeYoung

Not only did Styx suck, thanks largely in part to their lead singer DeYoung, but they managed to make one of the greatest mockeries of modern rock music.

Yes I am speaking of the infamous “Mr. Roboto.” But before that we had DeYoung belting out his classic lyrics to “Lady.” Either way, you’ve got DeYoung out there today touring with his voice as the main selling point. Underneath that perfectly curled gray mat of hair is likely a balding DeYoung grasping to the remains of his iconic looks as one of arena rock’s founders.

Next week: Top five songs to kill the mood What’s yours? e-mail us at music@readbuzz.com

buzz

MARCH 25-31, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

COMEDY Spicy Clamato – improv comedy – Courtyard Cafe, 9-10pm, free

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke and D.j. – Lincoln Castle Lodge/Alumni Bar, 8pm-12am

DANCING Latin Dance Night – salsa, cha-cha, merengue, bachata – McKinley Foundation, Westminster Hall, 9:30-11:30pm, $1

WednesdayMarch31 LIVE MUSIC Openingbands.com Local Showcase: Big Buildings, The Situation, The Locked Sound – Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Kilborn Alley – Tommy G’s, 9pm, free Irish Traditional Music Session – Bentley’s Pub, TBA, free Hard Poor Korn – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

DJ DJ Chef Ra – roots/rock/reggae – Barfly, 9pm, free Dream Sequence – house – Caffe Paradiso, 10pm, free d-Lo and Spinnerty – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $1 Northstar Lounge hosted by Czar Absolute – slam poetry and hip hop DJs – Nargile, 10pm, $1 Nekromancy, DJ SorceryKid – industrial, new wave – Red Herring, 9pm, $2 Fabulous!!! – A Fashion-Forward Night of Dancing – Nargile, 10pm, $3

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Spirit of Fès – The Fès Festival of World Sacred Music brings together some of the most revered performing artists from different cultures around the globe. The tour will host performances of Moroccan, Sephardic Jewish, and Gospel sacred music traditions. Tryon Festival Theatre, 7:30pm.

Flex: $23, sc & stu $22, UI & yth $17. Single: $25, sc & stu $24, UI & yth $19.

Pacifica Quartet – This third concert includes Mendelssohn's Quartet in D Major, Op. 44, No. 1, and the Brahms Piano Quintet with faculty colleague Ian Hobson. Foellinger Great Hall, 7:30pm. $18, sc $17, stu $10.

Les’s Lounge 403 N Coler, Urbana, 328-4000 Lincoln Castle 209 S Broadway, Urbana, 344-7720 Lowe’s Big Barrel & Summer Club 14 N Hazel, Danville, 442-8090 Malibu Bay Lounge North Route 45, Urbana, 328-7415 Mike n’ Molly’s 105 N Market, Champaign, 355-1236 Mulligan’s 604 N Cunningham, Urbana, 367-5888 Murphy’s 604 E Green, Champaign, 352-7275 Nargile 207 W Clark St, Champaign Neil Street Pub 1505 N Neil, Champaign, 359-1601 Boardman’s Art Theater 126 W Church, Champaign, 351-0068 The Office 214 W Main, Urbana, 344-7608 Parkland College 2400 W Bradley, Champaign, 351-2528 Phoenix 215 S Neil, Champaign, 355-7866 Pia’s of Rantoul Route 136 E, Rantoul, 893-8244 Pink House Routes 49 & 150, Ogden, 582-9997 The Rainbow Coffeehouse 1203 W Green, Urbana, 766-9500 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana, 344-1176 Rose Bowl Tavern 106 N Race, Urbana, 367-7031 Springer Cultural Center 301 N Randolph, Champaign, 355-1406 Spurlock Museum 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 The Station Theatre 223 N Broadway, Urbana, 384-4000 Strawberry Fields Cafe 306 W Springfield, Urbana, 328-1655 Sweet Betsy's 805 S Philo Rd, Urbana Ten Thousand Villages 105 N Walnut, Champaign, 352-8938 TK Wendl’s 1901 S Highcross Rd, Urbana, 255-5328 Tommy G’s 123 S Mattis Ave, Country Fair Shopping Center, 359-2177 Tonic 619 S Wright, Champaign, 356-6768 Two Main 2 Main, Champaign, 359-3148 University YMCA 1001 S Wright, Champaign, 344-0721 Verde/Verdant 17 E Taylor St, Champaign, 366-3204 Virginia Theatre 203 W Park Ave, Champaign, 356-9053 White Horse Inn 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign, 352-5945 Zorba’s 627 E Green, Champaign

CHICAGOSHOWS MARCH 3/25 Distillers @ Metro, all-ages 3/25 Hoobastank @ House of Blues, all-ages 3/26 Newsboys, Rebecca St. James @ UIC Pavilion 3/26 American Music Club @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/26 Dolly Varden @ Subterranean 3/26 Al Green @ House of Blues 3/26 Great Big Sea @ Metro, 18+ 3/26 Franz Ferdinand @ Empty Bottle 3/26 Proclaimers @ Abbey Pub 3/26 Slip @ Double Door

3/26 Southern Culture on the Skids @ FitzGerald’s 3/26 TV On the Radio @ Empty Bottle 3/26 R. Kelly @ Allstate Arena 3/26-27 Al Green @ House of Blues 3/27 Mad Caddies @ Metro 3/27 Campbell Brothers, Calvin Cooke @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/27 John Gorka @ Schubas 3/27 Lost Sounds @ Subterranean 3/27 Insiders @ FitzGerald's 3/27 My Robot Friend @ Metro, 18+ 3/27-28 Mekons @ Double Door, (27); FitzGerald's, (28) 3/29-31 Neko Case & The Sadies @ Schubas 3/30 Ill Nino @ House of Blues, 3/30, all-ages 3/31 Adler’s Appetite @ Joe’s 3/31 George Clinton & The P-Funk All-Stars @ House of Blues

APRIL 4/1-2 Decemberists @ Schubas 4/2 Joan Baez @ Pick-Staiger Concert Hall 4/2 Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Missy Elliott @ Allstate Arena 4/2 Jonatha Brooke @ Park West 4/2 Graham Colton @ Double Door 4/2 Sound Tribe Sector Nine @ Vic 4/2 Star Spangles @ Lyons Den 4/2-3 Blonde Redhead @ Abbey Pub 4/3 Rod Piazza @ Buddy Guy's Legends 4/3 Preston School of Industry @ Schubas 4/3 Grandaddy, Saves the Day @ Riviera 4/3 Weirdos @ Subterranean 4/3 Particle @ Park West, 18+ 4/3 Josh Wink @ Smart Bar 4/4 Unicorns @ Logan Square Auditorium, all-ages 4/4 Floetry @ House of Blues 4/6 Chayanne @ Rosemont Theatre 4/6 Van Hunt @ Double Door 4/6 Method Man @ House of Blues, 18+ 4/7 Stereolab @ Vic 4/7 Twilight Singers @ Metro 4/7 Van Morrison @ Chicago Theatre 4/7 16 Horsepower @ Abbey Pub 4/8 Geoff Farina @ Schubas 4/8 Trapt, Smile Empty Soul @ House of Blues, all-ages 4/8 Sugarcult @ Metro, all-ages 4/8 N.E.R.D., Black Eyed Peas @ Riviera, 18+ 4/9 Weird War @ Empty Bottle 4/9 Switchfoot @ Vic 4/9 Ruben Studdard @ Auditorium Theatre

calendar

4/9 Squarepusher @ Metro 4/9 Midnight Creeps @ Lyons Den 4/9 Roomful of Blues @ Buddy Guy's Legends 4/9 I:Cube @ Smart Bar 4/9 Henry Butler, Jon Cleary, Dr. Michael White @ Old Town School of Folk Music 4/9 Local H @ Metro, all-ages 4/9 & 16 Herbie Hancock @ Symphony Center 4/9-10 B.B. King @ Star Plaza 4/10 DJ Shadow @ Park West, 18+ 4/10 Wanda Jackson @ FitzGerald's 4/10 Bret Michaels @ Joe's 4/10 Tom Russell, Jim Lauderdale @ Old Town School of Folk Music 4/11 Fantomas, Melt-Banana @ Metro 4/12 Story of the Year @ House of Blues, all-ages 4/13 Sleepy Jackson @ Schubas 4/13 Stellastarr @ Double Door 4/13 Rufio @ Metro, all-ages 4/14 Sarah Harmer @ Martyrs' 4/15-16 Bonnie Prince Billy, Joanna Newsom @ Open End Gallery (4/15), Logan Square Auditorium (4/16) 4/15-16 Death Cab for Cutie, Ben Kweller @ Vic 4/15-16 Willy Porter @ FitzGerald's (15), Martyrs' (16) 4/16 A Perfect Circle, Mars Volta @ UIC Pavilion

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke – Elmers Club 45, 7-11pm Karaoke w/ the Cheezy Trio – Diamonds in Rantoul, TBA

C-UVENUES Assembly Hall First & Florida, Champaign, 333-5000 American Legion Post 24 705 W Bloomington Rd, Champaign, 356-5144 American Legion Post 71 107 N Broadway, Urbana, 367-3121 Barfly 120 N Neil, Champaign,352-9756 Barnes and Noble 51 E Marketview, Champaign, 355-2045 Boltini Lounge 211 N Neil, Champaign, 378-8001 Borders Books & Music 802 W Town Ctr, Champaign, 3519011 The Brass Rail 15 E University, Champaign, 352-7512 Canopy Club (Garden Grill) 708 S Goodwin, Urbana, 367-3140 Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana C.O. Daniels 608 E Daniel, Champaign, 337-7411 Cosmopolitan Club 307 E John, Champaign, 367-3079 Courtyard Cafe Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana, 333-4666 Cowboy Monkey 6 Taylor St, Champaign, 398-2688 Clybourne 706 S Sixth, Champaign, 383-1008 Curtis Orchard 3902 S Duncan Rd, Champaign, 359-5565 D.R. Diggers 604 S Country Fair Dr, Champaign, 356-0888 Elmer’s Club 45 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana, 344-3101 Embassy Tavern & Grill 114 S Race, Urbana, 384-9526 Esquire Lounge 106 N Walnut, Champaign, 398-5858 Fallon’s Ice House 703 N Prospect, Champaign, 398-5760 Fat City Saloon 505 S Chestnut, Champaign, 356-7100 The Great Impasta 114 W Church, Champaign, 359-7377 G.T.’s Western Bowl Francis Dr, Champaign, 359-1678 Highdive 51 Main, Champaign, 359-4444 Huber’s 1312 W Church, Champaign, 352-0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation 610 E Springfield, Champaign, 352-8721 Independent Media Center 218 W Main St, Urbana, 344-8820 The Iron Post 120 S Race, Urbana, 337-7678 Joe’s Brewery 706 S Fifth, Champaign, 384-1790 Kam’s 618 E Daniel, Champaign, 328-1605 Krannert Art Museum 500 E Peabody, Champaign, 333-1861 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 500 S Goodwin, Urbana,Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 W Nevada, Urbana, 333-4950 Lava 1906 W Bradley, Champaign, 352-8714 Legends Bar & Grill 522 E Green, Champaign, 355-7674

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calendar

ThursdayMarch25 LIVE MUSIC

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MARCH 25-31, 2004

Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, cover Candy Foster and Shades of Blue – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4

Demolition Doll Rods, The Resinators, The Situation – Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 Astral Project – jazz – The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Steepwater Band, Kilborn Alley – Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Open Stage/Open Mic w/ Darrin Drda – Red Herring, 8pm, free Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

DJ

DJ

KARAOKE

DJ Delayney – hip hop, house – Nargile, 10pm, $5 Deeper than Deep w/ DJ Mertz – Barfly, 10pm, free

MUSIC PERFORMANCE “Weird” Al Yankovic – Virginia Theatre, 7:30pm, $38.50

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke – Pia's in Rantoul, 9pm-1am

AROUND TOWN Wine Tasting – Sample wine, learn about the different kinds and buy full glasses for $3.50 per glass.

Krannert Center lobby, 5pm, free.

FridayMarch26 LIVE MUSIC The Bryan Holloway Somethin' – jazz – Cowboy Monkey, 5-7pm, $2; Brass Rail, 10pm, free Happy Hour: The Prairie Dogs – Tommy G’s, 5pm, free Parkland Big Band – Highdive, 5:30pm, $3 Nachum Lubovsky – Borders, 8-10pm, free The Brat Pack – ‘80s – Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover 160 Proof – southern/classic rock – Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover Pariah, Honest Pod, None Taken, Dropsixx – Canopy Club, TBA Open Juke Box – Phoenix, 9pm, free Martini Brothers – Hubers, 8pm, TBA

The Skeleton Danse: DJ Narcissus, DJ Kajika, DJ Miss Sarah, Vain, TBA – Channing-Murray Foundation, 8pm, $3 DJ Bozak – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Impact – house – 10pm, Nargile, $5 DJ Tim Williams – dance – Highdive, 10pm, $5 “G” Force Karaoke – Historic Lincoln Castle Hotel Alumni Tap Bar, 9pm-1am

SaturdayMarch27 LIVE MUSIC Deconstructing Jim, Bali Song, PSR – Nargile, 10pm, $5 Left-Handed Entertainment Showcase: cLoNe, Lidlifter, Honest Pod – The Legion, 9pm, $5 The Buick All-Stars – Embassy Tavern, 9:30pm, free Jakehead – rockabilly – The Iron Post, 9:30pm, TBA Disasterpiece (Slipknot Tribute Band), Jaded Kayne, Eye Level, Alchymist – Canopy Club, 10pm, $10 Mad Cats – retro rock – Phoenix, TBA Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, cover Delta Kings – rock, blues – The Ice House in Mattoon, 9pm Candy Foster and Shades of Blue – Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover The Real Deal – Senators Pub, 9pm, free Rene – Borders, 8-10pm, free Desafinado – jazz – Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Impalas – Hubers, 8pm, TBA Brian Boyd – Strawberry Fields, lunchtime, free Alchymist – Canopy Club, 10pm, $10

We need a hand.

Cuddling animals, planting flowers and clowning around with kids are a few examples of group volunteer opportunities in Champaign County.

Operation Helping Hand is April 17-24 and it’s your chance to gather your friends, have fun and give back to your community.

To find out how you can help please call Kathy at the Office of Volunteer Programs 244-7675 or Teri at United Way 352-5151.

OPERATION HELPING HAND is sponsored by:

buzz

DJ

DJ

DJ Sophisto – house – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams – dance – Highdive, 10pm, $5 2ON2OUT featuring Matt Cohn – Cowboy Monkey, 11pm, free DJ Mertz – Nargile, 10pm, $5 “Soulful Saturdays” w/DJ Phokiss, Chill Will, DJ World – Watusi Lounge, free before 11pm

2ON2OUT – indie rock – Barfly, 9pm, free Chill in the Grill – hip hop – Canopy Club, 10pm, free Case of the Mondays:“Open Tables for White Labels” & “Open Mic DJ” night – Nargile, 10pm, free

KARAOKE

Community Drum Circle – Ten Thousand Villages, 7-9pm, free

“G” Force Karaoke – Historic Lincoln Castle Hotel Alumni Tap Bar, 9pm-1am

buzz

MUSIC PERFORMANCE KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke – Kam's, 10pm-2am

SundayMarch28 LIVE MUSIC Kenny Chesney, Dierks Bentley, Keith Urban – Assembly Hall, TBA, $39.50 Crystal River – Rose Bowl Tavern, 8:30pm, free

DJ Fresh Face DJ – Barfly, 9pm, free Spundays: DJ Delayney – hip hop & soul – Boltini Lounge, 10pm, free Blends By Otter – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Reel to Reel and the Wheels of Steel: Spicerack Movies with soundtrack provided by DJ Spinnerty & DJ Bozak – Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $1 Downtempo Lounge Night: DJ Fritz – Nargile, 10pm, free

MondayMarch29 LIVE MUSIC Open Mic – Za's Italian Cafe, 7pm, free Jazz Jam hosted by ParaDocs – The Iron Post, 7:30pm, TBA Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $2 WEFT Sessions: The Violents – WEFT, 10pm, free

COMEDY DeBono – improv comedy – Courtyard Cafe, 910pm, free

TuesdayMarch30 LIVE MUSIC Shakin’ Babies, Utah!, Phosphorescent – Nargile, 10pm, $4 Open Bluegrass Jam Session – Verde Gallery, 7pm, free Open Mic hosted by Openingbands.com and Larry Gates – Canopy Club, 10pm, $2 Crystal River – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe’s Acoustic Night: Adam Wolfe, Jess Greenlee – Tommy G’s, 10pm, free

DJ DJ Drew Patterson – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free NOX: DJ ZoZo, DJ Kannibal, DJ Rickbats – goth and industrial – Highdive, 10pm, $2

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Spirit of Fès – The Fès Festival of World Sacred Music brings together revered performing artists from different cultures around the globe. The tour will host performances of Moroccan, Sephardic Jewish, and Gospel sacred music traditions. Tryon Festival Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex: $23, sc & stu $22, UI & yth $17. Single: $25, sc & stu $24, UI & yth $19.

trying to use that Still (cheap) residential

internet service

?

for your business

Let’s face it. Sure there are a lot of cheap alternatives for Internet access.

But this is your business we’re talking about.

You can’t afford downtime, or not being able to reach a competent human when you have questions.

Shouting Ground DSL is a business-class DSL for business.

Lines are monitored 24/7. Service comes with a real Internet router. Not some cheap “$5” piece of plastic.

All bandwidth rates are symmetrical. That means both your upload speeds and download speeds are at the service level you select.

Want to run Internet servers at your location? No problem.

Need real IP address space? No problem.

Shouting Ground Technologies, Inc. 105 South Walnut Street, Champaign

217/351-7921 admin@shout.net www.shout.net

Shouting Ground DSL. Business-class DSL for business...

music

MARCH 25 - 31, 2004 | TACO FLAVORED KISSES FOR MY BEN

CDReviews

032504buzz1114

LIARS They Were Wrong, So We Drowned Mute Records

★★★

BY LOGAN MOORE

Picture this: Your average 17 year-old paragon of suburbanite cool. We’ll call him Gary. He’s hip. He watches MTV’s Subterannean, carefully noting the bands he enjoys. He patterns his style of dress after his heroes in Death Cab For Cutie, maybe even The Strokes on those days he’s feeling kinda silly and just got back from the thrift shop. His friends all seek his approval before buying an album.

Gathered around his locker before home-room, they discuss things like the virtue of Nirvana’s “indie cred.”

Gary thinks the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are super-cool and he knows that rock-chick extraordinaire Karen O is dating the lead singer of Liars, Angus Andrews. One day, browsing through the racks of his local Borders, Gary stumbles across They Were Wrong, So We Drowned. He figures what the hell, it might be another band to recommend to his buddies. He takes it home, pops it in and sits down to listen. An hour or so later Gary’s mother hears strange sounds coming from his room.

Concerned, she opens the door to find Gary violently convulsing in a pool of what appears to be animal blood, his eyes wide and dilated. As she rushes over to see what the hell is going on Gary suddenly jumps up from the ground, wraps both hands around her head and proceeds to eat her brains.

There is a moral to this tale. Liars new album, They Were Wrong, So We Drowned, might make you eat your mother’s brains. The album is so far removed from everything the band has done before, so filled with random noises, tribal rhythms, creepily intoned dirges, murderous sea chanties, acid-punk freak-outs, and psychotic screaming that when it’s all said and done, you too will be a soulless husk of your former self, forever doomed to feast on your loved ones in order to maintain your existence. Or something like that. At any rate, it’s a really scary, noisy album.

Ah, “Enough, with the lame zombie trip,” I hear you say,“Is it actually good.“Well, for the most part yes. It’s sure to frighten a whole hell of a lot of their “dancepunk/Rapture fan” constituency, but one definitely gets the feeling that’s what these boys want.

Somewhere along the way Liars fired their rhythm section, rented a studio in the New Jersey woods and decided to record an album about witch trials that will piss off interns at Spin for months to come.

“There’s Always Room on the Broom” begins and remains a spare, freakish duet between teeth-grating electronic noise and goofy hi-hat work out. About halfway through the vocals go from monotone dirge to homicidal schoolchildren.The song is about witches and brooms. “They Don’t Want Your Corn, They Want Your Kids” is the only remotely danceable thing on this journey through hell. Submariner bass propels, shards of synth and Angus Andrews ghostly vocals through a clanking, metal breakdown and the noises that dying robots make. “Hold Hands and it Will Happen” is a vicious tribal stomper. Aaron Hemphill audibly murders his bass, before someone strangles a guitar to death as it tries to spit out a hook. The guitar doesn’t win. Bear in mind that these are the more accessible songs on the album. Songs like “Broken Witch” and “They Took 14 for the Rest of Our Lives”are pastiches of junkyard percussion, analog noise, cybernetic insects burrowing into your cerebellum, and sociopathic clowns learning how to play their instruments.

The album is surprisingly strong for what will surely

be considered a transitional album, weighed down only by a few aimless “instrumental” passages. Still, this is less a review and more a public service announcement. Remember: Do listen to They Were Wrong, So We Drowned. Do not eat anybody’s brains.

SIGUR RÓS Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do EP Geffen/Universal

★★★

ARTHURKILL Addiction Attack Records and Filmworks

★

BY JESS HANNAH

I have to definitively say, without a doubt, that the best part of Arthurkill’s 2004 release Addiction is the cover art. So don’t bother going beyond it.

It is a photograph reminiscent of Garbage’s leadmistress, Shirley Manson, wrapped in toilet paper.

Oh…I mean wet toilet paper. Credit is due though because it is about as sexy as a woman dressed in wet toilet paper can get.

The album opens up with a guitar-heavy, drumdriven hard rock ballad, classifiable simply as an updated version of early 90s hair-metal music. As bad as that may sound, it is actually a good song if you don’t expect the transmission of anything profound.

The music has a bit of an edge that makes you stop and listen. Sadly though, the lyrics are vaguely uninteresting.They are simple, so singing along is, at times, unnoticeably easy to do. But even after singing along to the entire song, word for word, it has no meaning.

Vocalist Ken Munson might as well be speaking Swahili for all the sense his lyrics make in this first song. His grasp on the English language is somewhat questionable, but if you close your eyes and listen, he sounds an awful lot like Ozzy, pre-drug-induced craziness. It is just too bad his verbal aptitude is also similar to Ozzy’s, post-drug-induced craziness.

The next song on the album is a suprisingly good remake of a 1984 Depeche Mode hit, “It Doesn’t Matter.” This remake (of course) takes on the guitarheavy, drum-driven hard rock ballad sound, as opposed to the original electro-pop sound Depeche Mode perfected during the 80s. From electro-pop to hard rock ballad, “It Doesn’t Matter” is a good song.

Arthurkill, throughout the album, has a good sound.

Inspiring riffs from a talented guitarist, well-placed turntable manipulation from DJ Eclectic, and spinetingling beats from a dynamic drummer make the sound come together quite nicely on a few songs. On instrumentation alone, this album is respectable.

There are two songs on this album that I have serious problems with. The fifth song on the album, “Closer to Free,” sounds like it could be from K.D. Lang’s adult contemporary pop album, Ingenue. It is a far fetch for a guitar-heavy, hard rock band from Staten Island, New York. The last song on the album, “Honestly,” I will acknowledge as a well-written song.

I just believe very strongly that Ken Munson must have been listening to The Bangles when he wrote the lyrics. Munson asserts the following lyrics in down tempo Silverchair style: “Calling out I hear your name/do you feel the same/do you feel the same/all my life I’ve stood in the dark/now the light shines/I know where we are/its no wonder why I’ve been lost/….can’t remember what my life was like before/before you came the nights were too long.”

I know that true 80s jangle pop fans, like myself at age 6, know exactly what Bangles’ song I am talking about. In 1988 Susanna Hoffs articulated extremely similar words in “Eternal Flame.”

“Say my name/sun shines through the rain/a whole life so lonely/and then you come and ease the pain/I don’t want to lose this feeling/close your eyes/give me your hand, darling/do you feel my heart beating/do you understand/do you feel the same/am I only dreaming.”

I know. How can I possibly compare a guitar-heavy, hard rock band from Staten Island, New York to The Bangles? It sounds crazy, admittedly, especially with Shirley Manson’s blonde twin sister on the cover of a band called Arthurkill’s first album Addiction. Just listen to the song though. If you are not familiar with “Eternal Flame,” listen to the two consecutively. You will understand.

BY SHADIE ELNASHAI

Though the title, Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do, suggests a definitive sequence, the three tracks that comprise this EP,“Ba Ba”,“Ti Ki” and “Di Do”, are designed–in true iconoclastic Sigur Rós fashion - to remain coherent regardless of the order the listener chooses. The Icelandic experimental-post-rockers were commissioned, alongside Radiohead, to each create a 20-minute piece to which the Merce Cunningham Dance Company would perform an improvisational dance. The event took place in October 2003, at the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s Next Wave Festival. This studio incarnation develops that performance to create one of their most eccentric works to date.

“Ba Ba”commences, with two sheet-fed music-boxes providing a looped backdrop for the forthcoming glockenspiels and bummsett (an entirely new innovation within instrumentation, built around eight ballet shoes). Various instruments are introduced, harmonies created and syncopated rhythms established throughout this delicate yet potent ‘opener.’It is regrettable that the second track, “Ti Ki,” is fairly redundant in that it essentially adds some basic electronic effects to “Ba Ba”, with a none-too-fascinating final product. Indeed it does play around with the existing sounds, even including the music-box theme played backwards, but this is as futile as the track is poorly-judged.

The highlight is “Di Do” an avant garde piece that is built around a theme of confrontation. A stormy drone foreshadows the impending gloom and menace that will ensue, before spliced-up samples of Merce Cunningham’s voice rudely interrupt the proceedings.

Further samples vie for attention as the track gets increasingly intense and complex, as each preceding section of the EP re-appears. A loop of Cunningham’s

11

tap-dancing feet and a recording of the live show’s premiere subtly weave themselves into the backdrop.

Full use of the separate channels enable the track to swell into a furious rage before a piercing distorted feedback beats everything within earshot into submission, and the fatigued track diminishes into tranquility.

With “Di Do” Sigur Rós has attempted both a risky and uncharacteristic composition that is in its own right as good as anything they have ever done.

MUSIC REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ no stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unlistenable

Opening Weekend April 2-4 Screen 1 : Hellboy PG1 3 Screen 2: Welcome to Mooseport PG1 3 All shows start at dusk.

• Admission $5 per person • Children under 5 are free 217 784-8770 Toll Free 1-877-54-movie Route 47, South Gibson City, IL

032504buzz1213

3/23/04

12

5:42 PM

calendar

Page 1

calendar

buzzpicks

Opening

R E E L

Bands

Showcase T

2R

his night of local music brings together three rock bands that have each cut their own niche in the Champaign-Urbana music scene. Big Buildings has been together since early 2002, and their quick creation parallels their fast, hurried music. They make rock ‘n roll with explosive, memorable riffs that make it hard to believe that they’ve been together only a couple years. Similarly, The Locked Sound is a local band that likes to play fast, fun rock ‘n roll with catchy hooks and endless energy. Reckless abandon pretty much sums up these bands, and they are sure to entertain and keep your attention throughout the night. The Openingbands.com showcase starts at 10pm Wednesday night. Catch Big Buildings, The Situation and The Locked Sound at the event at Canopy Club. Cover is $3.

D

E E L

R

13

eel to Reel and the Wheels of Steel: Spicerack Movies couples two of Champaign-Urbana’s premier DJ’s Bozak and Spinnerty. Both names are synonymous for stellar beats and interesting hip-hop jams. This, paired with education films as a back drop, makes Mike and Molly’s the place to be on Sunday night. The combination serves for great ambiance.

emolition Doll Rods have been making music and shaking things up since the early ‘90s. They started out at small pubs and clubs in Detroit and worked thre way around the country, spreading their rambunctious, energetic music and their unique stage presence. The band has toured with the likes of Iggy Pop, Quintron and Blues Explosion. Expect to see lots of skin, smiles and outrageous stage antics at the show, which will continue when The Resinators take the stage. This band has also been around for several years, and makes rock ‘n roll music with spunk and bit of vulgarity thrown in. Catch Demolition Doll Rods, The Resinators and The Situation at Cowboy Monkey Thursday at 9pm. There is a $5 cover.

Jillian’s and Miller Lite – Good Call!

5 2 / 3 s d o R l l o D n o i t i Demol Demolition Doll Rods, The Resonators and The Situation, Thursday, Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 cover

s s e i e i b b a a B B ’ Gets things goin’ at Nargile ’ n i n i k k a a S h h S S

hakin’ Babies makes indescribable music. They cannot be confined to one genre or one sound, and they like it that way. The band creates unique, experimental sounds that will make you want to listen twice just to catch all they are doing. The band is not afraid to experiment with different genres and sounds and they continue to push the envelope in their music and live show. Head to Nargile Tuesday night to see Shakin’ Babies, Utah! and Phosphorescent play. The show starts at 10pm and has a $4 cover.

PUZZLE ON PG 23 F L A T

L I E S O S T O D L A I E A S E

P A R C

O M E R

P U L A E R I C S I D E O S S R

F I A T S

A F L E A

N O B E L

G R E T E

L O R E S

A N E T

I N T R A

T H A L F E S B A L S T E V E S L I S W E N H C E A N S P A N T I A L E A C T I P A S S K E E A N I A L L I G T O T T E S S I S T

M A N T O

A N S E L

S C O N E

T E N S E

N I S H A R E A V I T Y E S A S L I D E A T O R R I N G A N T S

For extra photos, check out readbuzz.com

032504buzz1213

3/23/04

12

5:42 PM

calendar

Page 1

calendar

buzzpicks

Opening

R E E L

Bands

Showcase T

2R

his night of local music brings together three rock bands that have each cut their own niche in the Champaign-Urbana music scene. Big Buildings has been together since early 2002, and their quick creation parallels their fast, hurried music. They make rock ‘n roll with explosive, memorable riffs that make it hard to believe that they’ve been together only a couple years. Similarly, The Locked Sound is a local band that likes to play fast, fun rock ‘n roll with catchy hooks and endless energy. Reckless abandon pretty much sums up these bands, and they are sure to entertain and keep your attention throughout the night. The Openingbands.com showcase starts at 10pm Wednesday night. Catch Big Buildings, The Situation and The Locked Sound at the event at Canopy Club. Cover is $3.

D

E E L

R

13

eel to Reel and the Wheels of Steel: Spicerack Movies couples two of Champaign-Urbana’s premier DJ’s Bozak and Spinnerty. Both names are synonymous for stellar beats and interesting hip-hop jams. This, paired with education films as a back drop, makes Mike and Molly’s the place to be on Sunday night. The combination serves for great ambiance.

emolition Doll Rods have been making music and shaking things up since the early ‘90s. They started out at small pubs and clubs in Detroit and worked thre way around the country, spreading their rambunctious, energetic music and their unique stage presence. The band has toured with the likes of Iggy Pop, Quintron and Blues Explosion. Expect to see lots of skin, smiles and outrageous stage antics at the show, which will continue when The Resinators take the stage. This band has also been around for several years, and makes rock ‘n roll music with spunk and bit of vulgarity thrown in. Catch Demolition Doll Rods, The Resinators and The Situation at Cowboy Monkey Thursday at 9pm. There is a $5 cover.

Jillian’s and Miller Lite – Good Call!

5 2 / 3 s d o R l l o D n o i t i Demol Demolition Doll Rods, The Resonators and The Situation, Thursday, Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 cover

s s e i e i b b a a B B ’ Gets things goin’ at Nargile ’ n i n i k k a a S h h S S

hakin’ Babies makes indescribable music. They cannot be confined to one genre or one sound, and they like it that way. The band creates unique, experimental sounds that will make you want to listen twice just to catch all they are doing. The band is not afraid to experiment with different genres and sounds and they continue to push the envelope in their music and live show. Head to Nargile Tuesday night to see Shakin’ Babies, Utah! and Phosphorescent play. The show starts at 10pm and has a $4 cover.

PUZZLE ON PG 23 F L A T

L I E S O S T O D L A I E A S E

P A R C

O M E R

P U L A E R I C S I D E O S S R

F I A T S

A F L E A

N O B E L

G R E T E

L O R E S

A N E T

I N T R A

T H A L F E S B A L S T E V E S L I S W E N H C E A N S P A N T I A L E A C T I P A S S K E E A N I A L L I G T O T T E S S I S T

M A N T O

A N S E L

S C O N E

T E N S E

N I S H A R E A V I T Y E S A S L I D E A T O R R I N G A N T S

For extra photos, check out readbuzz.com

14

3/23/04

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calendar

ThursdayMarch25 LIVE MUSIC

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MARCH 25-31, 2004

Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, cover Candy Foster and Shades of Blue – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4

Demolition Doll Rods, The Resinators, The Situation – Cowboy Monkey, 9pm, $5 Astral Project – jazz – The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Steepwater Band, Kilborn Alley – Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 Open Stage/Open Mic w/ Darrin Drda – Red Herring, 8pm, free Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

DJ

DJ

KARAOKE

DJ Delayney – hip hop, house – Nargile, 10pm, $5 Deeper than Deep w/ DJ Mertz – Barfly, 10pm, free

MUSIC PERFORMANCE “Weird” Al Yankovic – Virginia Theatre, 7:30pm, $38.50

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke – Pia's in Rantoul, 9pm-1am

AROUND TOWN Wine Tasting – Sample wine, learn about the different kinds and buy full glasses for $3.50 per glass.

Krannert Center lobby, 5pm, free.

FridayMarch26 LIVE MUSIC The Bryan Holloway Somethin' – jazz – Cowboy Monkey, 5-7pm, $2; Brass Rail, 10pm, free Happy Hour: The Prairie Dogs – Tommy G’s, 5pm, free Parkland Big Band – Highdive, 5:30pm, $3 Nachum Lubovsky – Borders, 8-10pm, free The Brat Pack – ‘80s – Neil St. Pub, 10pm, cover 160 Proof – southern/classic rock – Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover Pariah, Honest Pod, None Taken, Dropsixx – Canopy Club, TBA Open Juke Box – Phoenix, 9pm, free Martini Brothers – Hubers, 8pm, TBA

The Skeleton Danse: DJ Narcissus, DJ Kajika, DJ Miss Sarah, Vain, TBA – Channing-Murray Foundation, 8pm, $3 DJ Bozak – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Impact – house – 10pm, Nargile, $5 DJ Tim Williams – dance – Highdive, 10pm, $5 “G” Force Karaoke – Historic Lincoln Castle Hotel Alumni Tap Bar, 9pm-1am

SaturdayMarch27 LIVE MUSIC Deconstructing Jim, Bali Song, PSR – Nargile, 10pm, $5 Left-Handed Entertainment Showcase: cLoNe, Lidlifter, Honest Pod – The Legion, 9pm, $5 The Buick All-Stars – Embassy Tavern, 9:30pm, free Jakehead – rockabilly – The Iron Post, 9:30pm, TBA Disasterpiece (Slipknot Tribute Band), Jaded Kayne, Eye Level, Alchymist – Canopy Club, 10pm, $10 Mad Cats – retro rock – Phoenix, TBA Country Connection – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, cover Delta Kings – rock, blues – The Ice House in Mattoon, 9pm Candy Foster and Shades of Blue – Tommy G’s, 10pm, cover The Real Deal – Senators Pub, 9pm, free Rene – Borders, 8-10pm, free Desafinado – jazz – Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Impalas – Hubers, 8pm, TBA Brian Boyd – Strawberry Fields, lunchtime, free Alchymist – Canopy Club, 10pm, $10

We need a hand.

Cuddling animals, planting flowers and clowning around with kids are a few examples of group volunteer opportunities in Champaign County.

Operation Helping Hand is April 17-24 and it’s your chance to gather your friends, have fun and give back to your community.

To find out how you can help please call Kathy at the Office of Volunteer Programs 244-7675 or Teri at United Way 352-5151.

OPERATION HELPING HAND is sponsored by:

buzz

DJ

DJ

DJ Sophisto – house – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams – dance – Highdive, 10pm, $5 2ON2OUT featuring Matt Cohn – Cowboy Monkey, 11pm, free DJ Mertz – Nargile, 10pm, $5 “Soulful Saturdays” w/DJ Phokiss, Chill Will, DJ World – Watusi Lounge, free before 11pm

2ON2OUT – indie rock – Barfly, 9pm, free Chill in the Grill – hip hop – Canopy Club, 10pm, free Case of the Mondays:“Open Tables for White Labels” & “Open Mic DJ” night – Nargile, 10pm, free

KARAOKE

Community Drum Circle – Ten Thousand Villages, 7-9pm, free

“G” Force Karaoke – Historic Lincoln Castle Hotel Alumni Tap Bar, 9pm-1am

buzz

MUSIC PERFORMANCE KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke – Kam's, 10pm-2am

SundayMarch28 LIVE MUSIC Kenny Chesney, Dierks Bentley, Keith Urban – Assembly Hall, TBA, $39.50 Crystal River – Rose Bowl Tavern, 8:30pm, free

DJ Fresh Face DJ – Barfly, 9pm, free Spundays: DJ Delayney – hip hop & soul – Boltini Lounge, 10pm, free Blends By Otter – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Reel to Reel and the Wheels of Steel: Spicerack Movies with soundtrack provided by DJ Spinnerty & DJ Bozak – Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $1 Downtempo Lounge Night: DJ Fritz – Nargile, 10pm, free

MondayMarch29 LIVE MUSIC Open Mic – Za's Italian Cafe, 7pm, free Jazz Jam hosted by ParaDocs – The Iron Post, 7:30pm, TBA Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $2 WEFT Sessions: The Violents – WEFT, 10pm, free

COMEDY DeBono – improv comedy – Courtyard Cafe, 910pm, free

TuesdayMarch30 LIVE MUSIC Shakin’ Babies, Utah!, Phosphorescent – Nargile, 10pm, $4 Open Bluegrass Jam Session – Verde Gallery, 7pm, free Open Mic hosted by Openingbands.com and Larry Gates – Canopy Club, 10pm, $2 Crystal River – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe’s Acoustic Night: Adam Wolfe, Jess Greenlee – Tommy G’s, 10pm, free

DJ DJ Drew Patterson – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free NOX: DJ ZoZo, DJ Kannibal, DJ Rickbats – goth and industrial – Highdive, 10pm, $2

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Spirit of Fès – The Fès Festival of World Sacred Music brings together revered performing artists from different cultures around the globe. The tour will host performances of Moroccan, Sephardic Jewish, and Gospel sacred music traditions. Tryon Festival Theatre, 7:30pm. Flex: $23, sc & stu $22, UI & yth $17. Single: $25, sc & stu $24, UI & yth $19.

trying to use that Still (cheap) residential

internet service

?

for your business

Let’s face it. Sure there are a lot of cheap alternatives for Internet access.

But this is your business we’re talking about.

You can’t afford downtime, or not being able to reach a competent human when you have questions.

Shouting Ground DSL is a business-class DSL for business.

Lines are monitored 24/7. Service comes with a real Internet router. Not some cheap “$5” piece of plastic.

All bandwidth rates are symmetrical. That means both your upload speeds and download speeds are at the service level you select.

Want to run Internet servers at your location? No problem.

Need real IP address space? No problem.

Shouting Ground Technologies, Inc. 105 South Walnut Street, Champaign

217/351-7921 admin@shout.net www.shout.net

Shouting Ground DSL. Business-class DSL for business...

music

MARCH 25 - 31, 2004 | TACO FLAVORED KISSES FOR MY BEN

CDReviews

032504buzz1114

LIARS They Were Wrong, So We Drowned Mute Records

★★★

BY LOGAN MOORE

Picture this: Your average 17 year-old paragon of suburbanite cool. We’ll call him Gary. He’s hip. He watches MTV’s Subterannean, carefully noting the bands he enjoys. He patterns his style of dress after his heroes in Death Cab For Cutie, maybe even The Strokes on those days he’s feeling kinda silly and just got back from the thrift shop. His friends all seek his approval before buying an album.

Gathered around his locker before home-room, they discuss things like the virtue of Nirvana’s “indie cred.”

Gary thinks the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are super-cool and he knows that rock-chick extraordinaire Karen O is dating the lead singer of Liars, Angus Andrews. One day, browsing through the racks of his local Borders, Gary stumbles across They Were Wrong, So We Drowned. He figures what the hell, it might be another band to recommend to his buddies. He takes it home, pops it in and sits down to listen. An hour or so later Gary’s mother hears strange sounds coming from his room.

Concerned, she opens the door to find Gary violently convulsing in a pool of what appears to be animal blood, his eyes wide and dilated. As she rushes over to see what the hell is going on Gary suddenly jumps up from the ground, wraps both hands around her head and proceeds to eat her brains.

There is a moral to this tale. Liars new album, They Were Wrong, So We Drowned, might make you eat your mother’s brains. The album is so far removed from everything the band has done before, so filled with random noises, tribal rhythms, creepily intoned dirges, murderous sea chanties, acid-punk freak-outs, and psychotic screaming that when it’s all said and done, you too will be a soulless husk of your former self, forever doomed to feast on your loved ones in order to maintain your existence. Or something like that. At any rate, it’s a really scary, noisy album.

Ah, “Enough, with the lame zombie trip,” I hear you say,“Is it actually good.“Well, for the most part yes. It’s sure to frighten a whole hell of a lot of their “dancepunk/Rapture fan” constituency, but one definitely gets the feeling that’s what these boys want.

Somewhere along the way Liars fired their rhythm section, rented a studio in the New Jersey woods and decided to record an album about witch trials that will piss off interns at Spin for months to come.

“There’s Always Room on the Broom” begins and remains a spare, freakish duet between teeth-grating electronic noise and goofy hi-hat work out. About halfway through the vocals go from monotone dirge to homicidal schoolchildren.The song is about witches and brooms. “They Don’t Want Your Corn, They Want Your Kids” is the only remotely danceable thing on this journey through hell. Submariner bass propels, shards of synth and Angus Andrews ghostly vocals through a clanking, metal breakdown and the noises that dying robots make. “Hold Hands and it Will Happen” is a vicious tribal stomper. Aaron Hemphill audibly murders his bass, before someone strangles a guitar to death as it tries to spit out a hook. The guitar doesn’t win. Bear in mind that these are the more accessible songs on the album. Songs like “Broken Witch” and “They Took 14 for the Rest of Our Lives”are pastiches of junkyard percussion, analog noise, cybernetic insects burrowing into your cerebellum, and sociopathic clowns learning how to play their instruments.

The album is surprisingly strong for what will surely

be considered a transitional album, weighed down only by a few aimless “instrumental” passages. Still, this is less a review and more a public service announcement. Remember: Do listen to They Were Wrong, So We Drowned. Do not eat anybody’s brains.

SIGUR RÓS Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do EP Geffen/Universal

★★★

ARTHURKILL Addiction Attack Records and Filmworks

★

BY JESS HANNAH

I have to definitively say, without a doubt, that the best part of Arthurkill’s 2004 release Addiction is the cover art. So don’t bother going beyond it.

It is a photograph reminiscent of Garbage’s leadmistress, Shirley Manson, wrapped in toilet paper.

Oh…I mean wet toilet paper. Credit is due though because it is about as sexy as a woman dressed in wet toilet paper can get.

The album opens up with a guitar-heavy, drumdriven hard rock ballad, classifiable simply as an updated version of early 90s hair-metal music. As bad as that may sound, it is actually a good song if you don’t expect the transmission of anything profound.

The music has a bit of an edge that makes you stop and listen. Sadly though, the lyrics are vaguely uninteresting.They are simple, so singing along is, at times, unnoticeably easy to do. But even after singing along to the entire song, word for word, it has no meaning.

Vocalist Ken Munson might as well be speaking Swahili for all the sense his lyrics make in this first song. His grasp on the English language is somewhat questionable, but if you close your eyes and listen, he sounds an awful lot like Ozzy, pre-drug-induced craziness. It is just too bad his verbal aptitude is also similar to Ozzy’s, post-drug-induced craziness.

The next song on the album is a suprisingly good remake of a 1984 Depeche Mode hit, “It Doesn’t Matter.” This remake (of course) takes on the guitarheavy, drum-driven hard rock ballad sound, as opposed to the original electro-pop sound Depeche Mode perfected during the 80s. From electro-pop to hard rock ballad, “It Doesn’t Matter” is a good song.

Arthurkill, throughout the album, has a good sound.

Inspiring riffs from a talented guitarist, well-placed turntable manipulation from DJ Eclectic, and spinetingling beats from a dynamic drummer make the sound come together quite nicely on a few songs. On instrumentation alone, this album is respectable.

There are two songs on this album that I have serious problems with. The fifth song on the album, “Closer to Free,” sounds like it could be from K.D. Lang’s adult contemporary pop album, Ingenue. It is a far fetch for a guitar-heavy, hard rock band from Staten Island, New York. The last song on the album, “Honestly,” I will acknowledge as a well-written song.

I just believe very strongly that Ken Munson must have been listening to The Bangles when he wrote the lyrics. Munson asserts the following lyrics in down tempo Silverchair style: “Calling out I hear your name/do you feel the same/do you feel the same/all my life I’ve stood in the dark/now the light shines/I know where we are/its no wonder why I’ve been lost/….can’t remember what my life was like before/before you came the nights were too long.”

I know that true 80s jangle pop fans, like myself at age 6, know exactly what Bangles’ song I am talking about. In 1988 Susanna Hoffs articulated extremely similar words in “Eternal Flame.”

“Say my name/sun shines through the rain/a whole life so lonely/and then you come and ease the pain/I don’t want to lose this feeling/close your eyes/give me your hand, darling/do you feel my heart beating/do you understand/do you feel the same/am I only dreaming.”

I know. How can I possibly compare a guitar-heavy, hard rock band from Staten Island, New York to The Bangles? It sounds crazy, admittedly, especially with Shirley Manson’s blonde twin sister on the cover of a band called Arthurkill’s first album Addiction. Just listen to the song though. If you are not familiar with “Eternal Flame,” listen to the two consecutively. You will understand.

BY SHADIE ELNASHAI

Though the title, Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do, suggests a definitive sequence, the three tracks that comprise this EP,“Ba Ba”,“Ti Ki” and “Di Do”, are designed–in true iconoclastic Sigur Rós fashion - to remain coherent regardless of the order the listener chooses. The Icelandic experimental-post-rockers were commissioned, alongside Radiohead, to each create a 20-minute piece to which the Merce Cunningham Dance Company would perform an improvisational dance. The event took place in October 2003, at the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s Next Wave Festival. This studio incarnation develops that performance to create one of their most eccentric works to date.

“Ba Ba”commences, with two sheet-fed music-boxes providing a looped backdrop for the forthcoming glockenspiels and bummsett (an entirely new innovation within instrumentation, built around eight ballet shoes). Various instruments are introduced, harmonies created and syncopated rhythms established throughout this delicate yet potent ‘opener.’It is regrettable that the second track, “Ti Ki,” is fairly redundant in that it essentially adds some basic electronic effects to “Ba Ba”, with a none-too-fascinating final product. Indeed it does play around with the existing sounds, even including the music-box theme played backwards, but this is as futile as the track is poorly-judged.

The highlight is “Di Do” an avant garde piece that is built around a theme of confrontation. A stormy drone foreshadows the impending gloom and menace that will ensue, before spliced-up samples of Merce Cunningham’s voice rudely interrupt the proceedings.

Further samples vie for attention as the track gets increasingly intense and complex, as each preceding section of the EP re-appears. A loop of Cunningham’s

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tap-dancing feet and a recording of the live show’s premiere subtly weave themselves into the backdrop.

Full use of the separate channels enable the track to swell into a furious rage before a piercing distorted feedback beats everything within earshot into submission, and the fatigued track diminishes into tranquility.

With “Di Do” Sigur Rós has attempted both a risky and uncharacteristic composition that is in its own right as good as anything they have ever done.

MUSIC REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ no stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unlistenable

Opening Weekend April 2-4 Screen 1 : Hellboy PG1 3 Screen 2: Welcome to Mooseport PG1 3 All shows start at dusk.

• Admission $5 per person • Children under 5 are free 217 784-8770 Toll Free 1-877-54-movie Route 47, South Gibson City, IL

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NOW THOSE ARE SOME UGLY MUGS | MARCH 25 - 31 , 2004

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All that glitters is not gold: A second look at file-sharing MENDOZA MUSIC LINE

BY BRIAN MERTZ | STAFF WRITER

S

ometimes only a concrete event will change our strongest opinions. For me, the closing of Record Service on March 5th altered my opinion about one of my strongest beliefs in music: that there is nothing wrong with downloading pirated music.

In a case of cosmic irony (or perhaps wellplanned journalistic balance) I read Liz Mozzocco’s Mendoza Music Line column absolving online pirates in the same issue that I wrote about the closing of the last independent record store on U of I’s campus. On one page was a story about how online piracy contributed to this store’s demise, and on the flipside was Liz’s column to help all of us feel better about stealing our MP3s.

I cannot argue with the reasons that she gave to support online piracy. Record companies are some of the most bloated and greedy corporations in the world. They are assholes when you get down to it.

And if you find artists who truly understand the economics of music like Chuck D (and unlike that self-absorbed middle-aged imp

TopFive

Lars Ulrich), they’ll tell you that their cut from album sales is pitifully low. If the music world were only made up of labels and artists, then every time you fire up your file-sharing program, you would be engaging in some worthwhile civil disobedience. Henry David Thoreau would be proud.

I shared Liz’s view that I could do no wrong by downloading music until Record Service actually closed its doors. There is more to the music world than labels and artists. There are independent stores that all of us music junkies love, but many of us hurt by trading downloads for purchases.

I had talked to Record Service’s owner Phil Strang several times in the past and he always mentioned how downloading affected his store’s sales. And while even Phil doesn’t believe that was the only thing that caused Record Service to go under, he believed it was a bigger problem than a lot of us–myself included.

What sold me on the dangers of downloading was the time I spent going through the remaining CDs that were super-discounted during Record Service’s last week of business.

There were four copies of the Baha Men. Any Britney Spears album you wanted was there.

Crazytown in all its “Butterfly” glory continued to gather dust. Nickelcrap still proudly stood out on the shelf as a testament to poop.

What was left that last week was truly the unheard of or the unwanted.

Perhaps Record Service should take some of the blame for not adapting to the reality that small stores can’t survive by selling Britney Spears CDs in the same way that they used to survive by selling Tiffany LPs. But I’m willing to take some of the blame for my downloading habits. I could have bought that Promise Ring EP I used to think was overpriced instead of just stealing it online.

So right here and now, I’m making a promise to change. I’m still going to continue downloading music–especially those catchy mainstream songs from terrible albums (like the new G-Unit single).

But when I download or receive a burn of an album or a band on a small independent label that I know is available exclusively at an independent record store, I’m going out to buy the album. My download habits will still serve a valuable function for previewing music, but I am going to follow through on my previews and actually buy all of the stuff I love.

The artist and the label might not care, but the store I support certainly will.

So Parasol get ready. I’m coming for a real copy of We Have the Facts and We’re Voting Yes to replace my burn. And I’m probably going to buy some vinyl too. buzz

metal singer look even though it was becoming apparent that he was losing hair. Today we have this balding and wrinkly Steven-Segal looking KISS lord.

He’ll make appearences for the media in a variety of faces, the baseball cap (concealing the hair loss) casual look, the retired mafia boss look (see photo), or occassionally making his way to the make-up booth for good old KISS Gene.

that you please accept you have aged and are no longer a “sex symbol” of rock. You may have been “Diamond Dave,” but your luster is faiding and your hair is greying. Those pants you are sporting (see photo) aren’t the best decision for your “golden years.” They may be golden, but I don’t think that’s what they’re about. Perhaps you should join Vince Neil next to the pool in sunny Florida.

When Brian Mertz isn’t stealing music online, he’s going to law school and working as a house DJ. You can hear him spin all of his legally bought house records Saturday nights at Nargile.

Ugly old rockers

1. Keith Richards

Boy has this guy had a hard life. So he toured extensively with one of the the greatest rock and roll bands of all time. In interviews and other public appearences he seems lost and incomprehensible.

With a cigarette dangling from his lips, he garbles off hard-to-understand British quips followed soon by a smoker’s hack. Look at this picture for goodness sake.

He looks like his face is sinking into his neck and soon all that will remain is his “rocker’s bandanna.” Careful Keith, don’t rock too hard for fear of your head falling off of your shoulders.

4. David Lee Roth

So you may have been the frontman for one of the 80s premier rock and roll bands, but that doesn’t give you the right to go prancing around dressed like that. That look may have worked 20 years ago as you belted out the words to “Panama,” but today we ask

3. Gene Simmons

He should have kept the make-up on. When he is clad in his full KISS garb, Gene Simmons is a rock and roll god. With his legions of fans he is able to command a crowd with the simple appearence of his snake-like tongue. During the 80s, and a notable low point for KISS, Gene maintained the long-haired

2. Vince Neil

At first, I took this as evidence that the rumblings some people (myself included) made about Record Service were true: that the store had lost touch with the college consumer. No one was ever going to buy these terrible titles in the first place.

But as I started to put the pieces of the puzzle together, I realized at one point in time, people would have bought the 1980s equivalent of this crap. However, today, when it is far easier and cheaper to download the one catchy single from an album that otherwise contains pitiful excuses for music, it is not surprising that these albums were the ones left behind.

Mainstream pop albums aren’t going to keep a small record store alive. The big stores sell cheaper CDs (because they can and because the major labels give the big stores millions in advertising each year to get away with the cheap sales). And when a person doesn’t want to buy the new Blink 182 album, even at the low cost of $8.99, they just download it.

Those downloads are killing small record stores around the country, but not every store.

Some stores quickly adapted and focused on becoming niche stores. They only sold titles that were hard to find online, or were so very special that people wanted to own a real copy instead of just a digital copy. And yes, people still do make special, “must-own” albums.

Radiohead’s special edition of Hail to the Thief is a perfect example.

Boy, some of those old 80s hair metal guys have let themselves go. Years of hard rocking, sexual promiscuity, heavy drug use and sleepless tours lead to some weathered individuals. I’m looking at you Rikkie Rockett, Nikkie Sixx, Tommy Lee, C.C. DeVille, Mick Mars and Vince Neil, and that is just two bands we’re talking about. Somehow the mulitple tatooed look that was once hip for these rockers has become a little gross with aged skin. Neil went from being “sexy metal lead singer” to “bloated old man vacationing in Florida” (see photo).

5.Dennis DeYoung

Not only did Styx suck, thanks largely in part to their lead singer DeYoung, but they managed to make one of the greatest mockeries of modern rock music.

Yes I am speaking of the infamous “Mr. Roboto.” But before that we had DeYoung belting out his classic lyrics to “Lady.” Either way, you’ve got DeYoung out there today touring with his voice as the main selling point. Underneath that perfectly curled gray mat of hair is likely a balding DeYoung grasping to the remains of his iconic looks as one of arena rock’s founders.

Next week: Top five songs to kill the mood What’s yours? e-mail us at music@readbuzz.com

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MARCH 25-31, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

COMEDY Spicy Clamato – improv comedy – Courtyard Cafe, 9-10pm, free

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke and D.j. – Lincoln Castle Lodge/Alumni Bar, 8pm-12am

DANCING Latin Dance Night – salsa, cha-cha, merengue, bachata – McKinley Foundation, Westminster Hall, 9:30-11:30pm, $1

WednesdayMarch31 LIVE MUSIC Openingbands.com Local Showcase: Big Buildings, The Situation, The Locked Sound – Canopy Club, 10pm, $3 Kilborn Alley – Tommy G’s, 9pm, free Irish Traditional Music Session – Bentley’s Pub, TBA, free Hard Poor Korn – Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

DJ DJ Chef Ra – roots/rock/reggae – Barfly, 9pm, free Dream Sequence – house – Caffe Paradiso, 10pm, free d-Lo and Spinnerty – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $1 Northstar Lounge hosted by Czar Absolute – slam poetry and hip hop DJs – Nargile, 10pm, $1 Nekromancy, DJ SorceryKid – industrial, new wave – Red Herring, 9pm, $2 Fabulous!!! – A Fashion-Forward Night of Dancing – Nargile, 10pm, $3

MUSIC PERFORMANCE Spirit of Fès – The Fès Festival of World Sacred Music brings together some of the most revered performing artists from different cultures around the globe. The tour will host performances of Moroccan, Sephardic Jewish, and Gospel sacred music traditions. Tryon Festival Theatre, 7:30pm.

Flex: $23, sc & stu $22, UI & yth $17. Single: $25, sc & stu $24, UI & yth $19.

Pacifica Quartet – This third concert includes Mendelssohn's Quartet in D Major, Op. 44, No. 1, and the Brahms Piano Quintet with faculty colleague Ian Hobson. Foellinger Great Hall, 7:30pm. $18, sc $17, stu $10.

Les’s Lounge 403 N Coler, Urbana, 328-4000 Lincoln Castle 209 S Broadway, Urbana, 344-7720 Lowe’s Big Barrel & Summer Club 14 N Hazel, Danville, 442-8090 Malibu Bay Lounge North Route 45, Urbana, 328-7415 Mike n’ Molly’s 105 N Market, Champaign, 355-1236 Mulligan’s 604 N Cunningham, Urbana, 367-5888 Murphy’s 604 E Green, Champaign, 352-7275 Nargile 207 W Clark St, Champaign Neil Street Pub 1505 N Neil, Champaign, 359-1601 Boardman’s Art Theater 126 W Church, Champaign, 351-0068 The Office 214 W Main, Urbana, 344-7608 Parkland College 2400 W Bradley, Champaign, 351-2528 Phoenix 215 S Neil, Champaign, 355-7866 Pia’s of Rantoul Route 136 E, Rantoul, 893-8244 Pink House Routes 49 & 150, Ogden, 582-9997 The Rainbow Coffeehouse 1203 W Green, Urbana, 766-9500 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana, 344-1176 Rose Bowl Tavern 106 N Race, Urbana, 367-7031 Springer Cultural Center 301 N Randolph, Champaign, 355-1406 Spurlock Museum 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 The Station Theatre 223 N Broadway, Urbana, 384-4000 Strawberry Fields Cafe 306 W Springfield, Urbana, 328-1655 Sweet Betsy's 805 S Philo Rd, Urbana Ten Thousand Villages 105 N Walnut, Champaign, 352-8938 TK Wendl’s 1901 S Highcross Rd, Urbana, 255-5328 Tommy G’s 123 S Mattis Ave, Country Fair Shopping Center, 359-2177 Tonic 619 S Wright, Champaign, 356-6768 Two Main 2 Main, Champaign, 359-3148 University YMCA 1001 S Wright, Champaign, 344-0721 Verde/Verdant 17 E Taylor St, Champaign, 366-3204 Virginia Theatre 203 W Park Ave, Champaign, 356-9053 White Horse Inn 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign, 352-5945 Zorba’s 627 E Green, Champaign

CHICAGOSHOWS MARCH 3/25 Distillers @ Metro, all-ages 3/25 Hoobastank @ House of Blues, all-ages 3/26 Newsboys, Rebecca St. James @ UIC Pavilion 3/26 American Music Club @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/26 Dolly Varden @ Subterranean 3/26 Al Green @ House of Blues 3/26 Great Big Sea @ Metro, 18+ 3/26 Franz Ferdinand @ Empty Bottle 3/26 Proclaimers @ Abbey Pub 3/26 Slip @ Double Door

3/26 Southern Culture on the Skids @ FitzGerald’s 3/26 TV On the Radio @ Empty Bottle 3/26 R. Kelly @ Allstate Arena 3/26-27 Al Green @ House of Blues 3/27 Mad Caddies @ Metro 3/27 Campbell Brothers, Calvin Cooke @ Old Town School of Folk Music 3/27 John Gorka @ Schubas 3/27 Lost Sounds @ Subterranean 3/27 Insiders @ FitzGerald's 3/27 My Robot Friend @ Metro, 18+ 3/27-28 Mekons @ Double Door, (27); FitzGerald's, (28) 3/29-31 Neko Case & The Sadies @ Schubas 3/30 Ill Nino @ House of Blues, 3/30, all-ages 3/31 Adler’s Appetite @ Joe’s 3/31 George Clinton & The P-Funk All-Stars @ House of Blues

APRIL 4/1-2 Decemberists @ Schubas 4/2 Joan Baez @ Pick-Staiger Concert Hall 4/2 Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Missy Elliott @ Allstate Arena 4/2 Jonatha Brooke @ Park West 4/2 Graham Colton @ Double Door 4/2 Sound Tribe Sector Nine @ Vic 4/2 Star Spangles @ Lyons Den 4/2-3 Blonde Redhead @ Abbey Pub 4/3 Rod Piazza @ Buddy Guy's Legends 4/3 Preston School of Industry @ Schubas 4/3 Grandaddy, Saves the Day @ Riviera 4/3 Weirdos @ Subterranean 4/3 Particle @ Park West, 18+ 4/3 Josh Wink @ Smart Bar 4/4 Unicorns @ Logan Square Auditorium, all-ages 4/4 Floetry @ House of Blues 4/6 Chayanne @ Rosemont Theatre 4/6 Van Hunt @ Double Door 4/6 Method Man @ House of Blues, 18+ 4/7 Stereolab @ Vic 4/7 Twilight Singers @ Metro 4/7 Van Morrison @ Chicago Theatre 4/7 16 Horsepower @ Abbey Pub 4/8 Geoff Farina @ Schubas 4/8 Trapt, Smile Empty Soul @ House of Blues, all-ages 4/8 Sugarcult @ Metro, all-ages 4/8 N.E.R.D., Black Eyed Peas @ Riviera, 18+ 4/9 Weird War @ Empty Bottle 4/9 Switchfoot @ Vic 4/9 Ruben Studdard @ Auditorium Theatre

calendar

4/9 Squarepusher @ Metro 4/9 Midnight Creeps @ Lyons Den 4/9 Roomful of Blues @ Buddy Guy's Legends 4/9 I:Cube @ Smart Bar 4/9 Henry Butler, Jon Cleary, Dr. Michael White @ Old Town School of Folk Music 4/9 Local H @ Metro, all-ages 4/9 & 16 Herbie Hancock @ Symphony Center 4/9-10 B.B. King @ Star Plaza 4/10 DJ Shadow @ Park West, 18+ 4/10 Wanda Jackson @ FitzGerald's 4/10 Bret Michaels @ Joe's 4/10 Tom Russell, Jim Lauderdale @ Old Town School of Folk Music 4/11 Fantomas, Melt-Banana @ Metro 4/12 Story of the Year @ House of Blues, all-ages 4/13 Sleepy Jackson @ Schubas 4/13 Stellastarr @ Double Door 4/13 Rufio @ Metro, all-ages 4/14 Sarah Harmer @ Martyrs' 4/15-16 Bonnie Prince Billy, Joanna Newsom @ Open End Gallery (4/15), Logan Square Auditorium (4/16) 4/15-16 Death Cab for Cutie, Ben Kweller @ Vic 4/15-16 Willy Porter @ FitzGerald's (15), Martyrs' (16) 4/16 A Perfect Circle, Mars Volta @ UIC Pavilion

KARAOKE “G” Force Karaoke – Elmers Club 45, 7-11pm Karaoke w/ the Cheezy Trio – Diamonds in Rantoul, TBA

C-UVENUES Assembly Hall First & Florida, Champaign, 333-5000 American Legion Post 24 705 W Bloomington Rd, Champaign, 356-5144 American Legion Post 71 107 N Broadway, Urbana, 367-3121 Barfly 120 N Neil, Champaign,352-9756 Barnes and Noble 51 E Marketview, Champaign, 355-2045 Boltini Lounge 211 N Neil, Champaign, 378-8001 Borders Books & Music 802 W Town Ctr, Champaign, 3519011 The Brass Rail 15 E University, Champaign, 352-7512 Canopy Club (Garden Grill) 708 S Goodwin, Urbana, 367-3140 Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana C.O. Daniels 608 E Daniel, Champaign, 337-7411 Cosmopolitan Club 307 E John, Champaign, 367-3079 Courtyard Cafe Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana, 333-4666 Cowboy Monkey 6 Taylor St, Champaign, 398-2688 Clybourne 706 S Sixth, Champaign, 383-1008 Curtis Orchard 3902 S Duncan Rd, Champaign, 359-5565 D.R. Diggers 604 S Country Fair Dr, Champaign, 356-0888 Elmer’s Club 45 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana, 344-3101 Embassy Tavern & Grill 114 S Race, Urbana, 384-9526 Esquire Lounge 106 N Walnut, Champaign, 398-5858 Fallon’s Ice House 703 N Prospect, Champaign, 398-5760 Fat City Saloon 505 S Chestnut, Champaign, 356-7100 The Great Impasta 114 W Church, Champaign, 359-7377 G.T.’s Western Bowl Francis Dr, Champaign, 359-1678 Highdive 51 Main, Champaign, 359-4444 Huber’s 1312 W Church, Champaign, 352-0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation 610 E Springfield, Champaign, 352-8721 Independent Media Center 218 W Main St, Urbana, 344-8820 The Iron Post 120 S Race, Urbana, 337-7678 Joe’s Brewery 706 S Fifth, Champaign, 384-1790 Kam’s 618 E Daniel, Champaign, 328-1605 Krannert Art Museum 500 E Peabody, Champaign, 333-1861 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 500 S Goodwin, Urbana,Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 W Nevada, Urbana, 333-4950 Lava 1906 W Bradley, Champaign, 352-8714 Legends Bar & Grill 522 E Green, Champaign, 355-7674

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4/16 Thrills @ Metro 4/16 Orchestra Baobab @ HotHouse, two shows 4/16 Eddie From Ohio, Luther Wright & the Wrong @ FitzGerald's 4/16 Baaba Maal @ Old Town School of Folk Music, two shows 4/16 Mason Jennings @ Abbey Pub, 18+ 4/16 Peter Mulvey @ Schubas 4/17 Asylum Street Spankers @ Schubas 4/17 Mustard Plug @ Metro, all-ages 4/17 Ellis Paul @ Schubas, two shows 4/17 Pinback, Enon @ Logan Square Auditorium, all-ages 4/17-18 Rebirth Brass Band @ Martyrs' 4/18 Rasputina @ House of Blues, 18+ 4/18 Renee Fleming @ Symphony Center 4/20 Air @ Riviera 4/20 Iced Earth @ Metro, all-ages 4/20 Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe @ House of Blues, 18+ 4/20 Sebadoh @ Abbey Pub 4/21 Delirious, David Crowder Band @ Vic, all-ages 4/21 Joss Stone @ House of Blues 4/22 Leon Russell @ Bottom Lounge 4/23 Crystal Method @ House of Blues, all-ages 4/23 Morbid Angel @ Oasis 160, all-ages 4/23 Savath & Savalas w/ Prefuse 73 @ Abbey Pub 4/23 Yellowcard, Something Corporate @ Riviera 4/23 Strokes @ Aragon, sold out 4/24 Robert Walter’s 20th Congress @ Abbey Pub 4/24 Bad Plus @ Martyrs’ 4/24 Fruit @ Schubas 4/24 Indigo Girls @ Auditorium Theatre 4/24 Tony Rice & Lonesome River Band @ Old Town School of Folk Music 4/24 Pat McGee Band @ House of Blues, 18+ 4/24 Of Montreal @ Subterranean 4/25 Janis Ian @ Old Town School of Folk Music 4/27 LCD Soundsystem @ Empty Bottle 4/27 Damien Rice @ Riviera, all-ages 4/28 Deerhoof @ Empty Bottle 4/28 James Murphy @ Smart Bar 4/30 Einsturzende Neubauten @ Metro, 18+ 4/30 Graham Parker @ Martyrs'

CHICAGOVENUES Abbey Pub 3420 W Grace, Chicago, (773) 478-4408 Allstate Arena 6920 N Mannheim Rd, Rosemont, (847) 635-6601 Aragon 1106 W Lawrence, Chicago, (773) 561-9500 Arie Crown Theater 2301 S Lake Shore Dr, Chicago, (312) 791-6190 Bottom Lounge 3206 N Wilton, Chicago, (773) 975-0505 Chicago Theatre 175 N State St, Chicago, (312) 443-1130 Congress Theatre 2135 N Milwaukee, Chicago, (312) 923-2000 Double Door 1572 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago, (773) 489-3160 Elbo Room 2871 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 549-5549 Empty Bottle 1035 N Western Ave, Chicago, (773) 276-3600 Fireside Bowl 2648 W Fullerton Ave, Chicago, (773) 486-2700 House of Blues 329 N Dearborn, Chicago, (312) 923-2000 Martyrs' 3855 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 404-9494 Metro/Smart Bar 3730 N Clark St, Chicago, (773) 549-0203 Old Town School of Folk Music 4544 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, (773) 728-6000 Park West 322 W Armitage, Chicago, (773) 929-5959 Riviera Theatre 4746 N Racine, Chicago, (773) 275-6800 Rosemont Theatre 5400 N River Rd, Rosemont, (847) 671-5100 Schubas 3159 N Southport, Chicago, (773) 525-2508 UIC Pavilion 525 S Racine, Chicago, (312) 413-5700 Vic Theatre 3145 N Sheffield, Chicago, (773) 472-0449

ART NOTICES

Art Classes by Sandra Ahten – To register, email spiritofsandra@hotmail.com (preferred) or call 367-6345.

“Collage for the Soul” – Students will learn a variety of collage techniques, including photo and photocopy transfer, papermaking and manipulation, wax application, and more, while exploring a particular subject. No art-making experience necessary. This class is great for creative exploration and for those who want to take scrapbooking to a new level. Work with your own family photos. Mar 30, April 6, 13, 20, 27. Tue, 7-9pm. $95.

“Art with Intention” – This class is not grouptaught, but is flexible and individually directed to each of the students. It is an opportunity for adults to explore their creative voices. Individualized projects will be based on the student's desire to learn new media such as watercolor or encaustic, gain skill in drawing or painting, or complete a project such as a pencil or oil portrait. Materials provided. Thur 2-hr drop-in time, 3-9pm. $95 for 5 (2-hour) sessions in 6 weeks.

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MARCH 25-31, 2004

“Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” – For adults who have always wanted to learn to draw, but felt like they lacked talent or confidence. This class teaches “realistic” or “naturalistic” drawing.

Students learn that drawing well is really a matter of learning a new way of seeing. Youth accepted with permission. Thur 6-8pm, April 1 & 29.

Call For Artists: 2004 Art Exhibition Series Call for Artists – The Champaign Park District is seeking local visual artists to apply for this new venue at the Springer Cultural Center. Exhibits strive to present artistic and ethnic diversity of ChampaignUrbana and surrounding area artists. The call will continue through Wed. Call for more information.

398-2376.

Creation Art Studios – Ongoing after-school art classes for children. Morning, evening, and weekend studio sessions for adults. Join anytime. Unveil your inherent creative style, exploring materials, techniques, and process, and developing studio skills. Learn to create openings to access dreams, ideas, and issues of heart, mind, and body. Produce your own work through collage, assemblage art, drawing, watercolor, acrylic and oil painting, ceramics, and sculpture. CPDU’s offered. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955.

Visit the studio, 1102 E Washington St. Urbana or www.creationartstudios.com.

Editor’s note: This feature has a little bit of opinion.

We’ve tried to talk to Steve about this to no avail. Rest assured that he will be flogged mercilessly in the dank, brutally-unhip Buzz dungeons.

398-4411

BY STEVE KLINE | STAFF WRITER

Founded after the 1991 Gulf War, this festival celebrates the power of music to promote peace and understanding. On its first American tour, the "Spirit of Fès" presents an array of revered artists from around the globe reflecting Sephardic Jewish, Moroccan, Sufi, and Gospel musical traditions.

ART GALLERIES Boneyard Pottery – Ceramic Art by Michael Schwegmann and others. 403 Water St in Champaign. Tue-Sat 11am-5pm. 355-5610.

Broken Oak Gallery – Local and national artists, original art including photography, watercolors, pottery, oil paintings, colored pencil, and woodturning. Refreshments served by the garden all day Saturday. 1865 N 1225 E Rd in White Heath.

Thu-Sat 10am-4pm. 762-4907.

Café Kopi – “Digital Evolutions,” photographs by John Sfondilias on display through February. 109 N Walnut in Champaign. Mon-Thu 7am-11pm, Fri-Sat 7am-12pm, Sun 11am-8pm. 359-4266.

Creation Art Studios – Featuring original art by students and members of the studio. 1102 E Washington St in Urbana. Mon-Fri 3-5:30pm, Sat 14pm and other scheduled studio times. For more information, call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955.

Country in the City – Antiques, Architectural, Gardening and Home Accessories. Custom designing available. 1104 E Washington St in Urbana. ThuSat 10am-5pm. 367-2367.

Framer's Market – Frame designers since 1981.

Ongoing work from local artists on display. 807 W Springfield Ave in Champaign. Tue-Fri 9:30am5:30pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 351-7020.

Furniture Lounge – Specializing in mid-century modern furniture from the 1920s to the 1980s – retro, Danish modern, lighting, vintage stereo equipment and vinyl records. 9 E University in Champaign. Sun-Tues 12-4:30pm, Wed-Sat 115:30pm. 352-5150.

Glass FX – New and Antique Stained Glass Windows, Lamps and unique glass gifts. Gallery is free and open to the public. Interested in learning the art of Stained Glass? Beginning, intermediate and advanced stained glass classes offered. 202 S First St in Champaign. Mon-Thu 10am-5:30pm, Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 9am-4pm. www.glassfx.com.

359-0048.

Griggs Street Potters – Handmade functional and

Mar 30-31

FÈS FESTIVAL

Françoise Atlan and Jamey Haddad Hadra des Femmes de Taroudant

of World Sacred Music

The Anointed Jackson Sisters Gabriel Meyer and Yacoub Hussein

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music

MARCH 25 - 31, 2004 | WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO SEE COOKIE MONSTER SING A TOM WAITES SONG?

The Lincoln Castle Hotel’s karaoke night provides weekly entertainment

Special events, Fraternities, and don’t forget We Deliver!

Now Signing Contracts for Next Semester!

Art Retreats – First Sundays Art of Creation, Passion, and Restoration Retreats at Creation Art Studios with independent artist Jeannine Bestoso.

Recreate your original self, ignite your passions, and resurrect buried or lost visions through guided art activities, journal writing, reflection, and quiet group involvement. A transformative experience of personal expansion and clarity that can lead you onto a path of new directions and creative living. April 4, 9am-3pm. Pre-registration required. Lunch provided. For more information and to register, contact Jeannine Bestoso at 3446955.

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This is going to be easy, I think as I walk into Historic Lincoln Hotel’s (formerly Jumer’s Hotel) Alumni Tap. Sit back, watch karaoke, get some decent photos in the screwy bar lighting, then go home and make fun of everything in the article. Gee, karaoke? Fish in a barrel.

The Historic Lincoln Hotel has featured karaoke Friday and Saturday for the past two years. Paul Faber, of Dragon Productions, heads up the event every Friday. “It’s unpredictable,” Faber said, “Sometimes we good some really good singers in here and sometimes we, well, don’t.”

A group of nine pulls some tables together and pesters each other to be the first at the microphone. They brought a tambourine.

On the big screen television in the corner, there’s an elderly woman with a cane laughing maniacally at the camera.

Who knows what that show was all about, but I’m suddenly scared shitless. This won’t be easy to handle with only five bucks: Cell phone to the rescue!

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jacob, this is Steve. Look, if I’m going to sit here all night watching karaoke I’m going to have to drink. Since this is for a story, think Buzz can pick up my bar tab?”

“What? Umm….I’ll see what I can do, okay?”

“Thanks. *click*” Check and mate, Buzz,……check and mate. (That means checkmate) Steve: 1 Buzz: 0 Three of the nine, one middle-aged man in a golf shirt and two females board the stage. Their rendition of “Do-WahDiddy” isn’t exactly perfect, but it’s not horrifying. It’s, you know, karaoke.

“We get a lot of the old regulars at the hotel,” Faber says, “Many were around back when we were doing this at Mabel’s.”

Faber owned Mabel’s which once stood where Brother’s Bar and Grill does now. It closed down in 2000. “It wasn’t the frat bar there now,” he said, “There were live bands and every Sunday we had

karaoke.” Mabel’s featured karaoke for about ten years.

Faber steps up from behind the mixer to the microphone. In a black suit, Buddy Holly glasses, and a pompadour that could consume other pompadours alive, he cranks out “California Blue.” It’s pretty damned impressive, especially the on-key falsetto ending. The ever-growing crowd shows their appreciation as Faber walks

[

[

“A guy took his pants off on the first song of the night. What do you do for an encore after that?

– Paul Faber

back to the mixer.

It’s one of those things you want to share with readers, but all my camera picks up is some dude with a goofy haircut. It’s beginning to feel like Buzz (with its smarmy italics) has turned me into a cop at a kegger.

These people only want to have fun but I’m here to record all Tomfoolery and possibly through it back at them in print with Billy Idol sneer. (Think there’s Billy Idol on their playlist?)

Steve: 1 Buzz: 1 As the night wears on The Alumni tap starts to really fill up. A bachelorette party comes in with the bride-to-be in a purple wig and a bridle veil speckled with candy and condoms. Her friends scatter about the bar and tell all male patrons, “Eat a piece of candy off the bride for a dollar,” pointing to little candies which also cover the top of the bride’s shirt.

Think the editors will cover the candy tab?

A man with long hair and T-shirt tucked into his jeans tries out “House of the Rising Sun” with enough moxie to the audience wish for stronger drinks. Hate to say it, but it probably made Van Morrison spin in his grave.

Keep in mind that “House of the Rising Son” wasn’t even WRITTEN by Van Morrison AND, as far as the mirror-test tells us, Morrison isn’t even dead yet. We’re talking about some serious butcherin’ here.

In the middle of the song, during a 4-bar break, he hits his chest a few times and

calms down after sipping his beer. You can’t see that often enough.

“A few weeks ago a guy took his pants off on the first song of the night. What do you do for an encore after that?”

True. Nothing says, “Here’s my rock n’ roll ante,” like “Here’s my underoos now go forth and spread your knowledge of my underwear for the greater good of society.” (at least that’s what I personally think when suddenly pants-less in a bar. Who knows what others are thinking.)

People aren’t here to impress.

They’re not here to show off god-given abilities or hook up or act cool or anything of the sort. It’s about a second of rockstardom without those stupid little Rolling Stone or PitchForkMedia commentators saying what’s good or bad. It’s a receptive audience besides highly-evolved shower mildew.

They’re here to have fun, and I’m here to make fun. They know it, I know it, and suddenly I’m the seventh grader heckling the school play.

“Karaoke tends to change with the times,” Faber says, adding that it fluctuates in popularity just like other forms of entertainment. “I think, in a bar atmosphere, it works.” Historic Lincoln Hotel’s Alumni Tap is just small enough to have a receptive audience, yet just large enough so the audience will forget about puberty-residue creeping up in your voice during the worst

possible times.

That’s where it hits me: pack up the camera, put away the notebook, and enjoy the night without dissecting it. For the love of god, let people have fun. Don’t be that guy; rock the hell out or get the hell out.

Steve: 2 Buzz: 1 Tie. “Come on by and check it out, there are always a few surprises,” Faber said.

Enjoy Dragon Productions and “G” Force Karaoke night at the Historic Lincoln Castle Hotel Alumni Tap Bar, every Friday and Saturday night starting at 9 p.m.

PHOTO | STEVE KLINE

032504buzz09116

Paul Faber looks up from the mixing board Friday night.

032504buzz0817

5:43 PM

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arts

I CAN SAY “MEOW.� I CAN SAY “MOO.� FOR TWENTY BUCKS, I’LL CALL THE GUY A CHICKEN-FUCKER. | MARCH 25-31, 2004

PHOTO | KARIE MILEWSKI

8

3/23/04

Jennifer Wheeler, Eckhoff’s friend and support, flips through a book of Dunavan’s tattoo designs. “I’m looking to get a fourth one. It is addicting, but this time maybe I’ll design it myself,� said Wheeler.

Dunavan does both flash (tattoos already designed by the artist) and custom (tattoos designed by the customer) tattoos.

Custom tattoos are the best part about the job, said Dunavan. It is always more interesting to do something different than the flash tattoos that have been done so many times before. “It’s like having two artists converge their talents together to make one collaborative piece,� said Dunavan.

The three tattoo artists at Altered Egos have their own specific style which is displayed in their own flash tattoo books. “New school� is the style that describes Dunavan’s designs. Mostly, the style con-

ARTIST’S CORNER

G

eorgia Morgan has lived in Urbana since 1970, and has been making oneof-a-kind jewelry since about 1990. She honestly can’t remember exactly how she got started, but she never imagined then that it would be something she would stay up late and get up early to work on. Her most recent works can be seen at Mom’s Day Craft Fair at the Illini Union April 17, from 10 a.m.-5 p.m., and at her Web site, www.bead-designs.com. Her newest gallery is Wind, Water & Light, 415 E. Main St., Mahomet (grand opening, April 16).

She also has works for sale at: Prairie Boatworks, 407 E Main St., Mahomet, IL 61853; (217) 586-6776; International Galleries, 114 Lincoln Sq., Urbana, IL 61801; (217) 328-2254; and Nic’s Basket Case 201 N. Neil St., Champaign, IL 61820; (217) 373-7926.

What do you like about working with the materials that you use?

I was drawn to the beads, and later the clay, because of the colors— not only the vibrant ones, but the subtler ones, as well. But it’s a very tactile medium. I love the cool, smooth feel of stone beads, and the warmer, silky feel of polymer beads and tiles.

How did you come to work with polymer clay?

Fourth of July 2002, I wanted three big-hole beads for an 18-gauge wire bracelet. After 45 tedious minutes of enlarging holes in stone beads, I remembered I had a 2-ounce packet of polymer clay that my children

had given me as a Mother’s Day gift around 1986. I checked the Internet for tips on working with it, and I’ve been exploring what can be done with this wonderful substance ever since.

What are some of the benefits of creating such different pieces?

I am pleased that my work appeals to people of all ages and many different tastes. I made elegant pendants for my granddaughters last winter, because my daughter had a hard time getting hers back from them.

Where do you get inspiration from?

Acorns I stumble (upon) on the Quad, color combinations in furnishings; catalogs in general, shapes and colors that impinge on my visual field! As I was arranging the brooches for a show a couple of years ago, I realized that I was strongly attracted to botanical themes—I think that is what attracts me to Art Nouveau work. I don’t think I can articulate yet which art deco motifs inspire me-there are so many.

sists of big, bold and colorful cartoons, said Dunavan.

After 15 minutes pass, Eckhoff’s right foot displays a bright red rose. The rose will cost her $50, which is the minimum price of a tattoo in the Champaign area. The more elaborate and larger a tattoo is, the more money it will cost, Dunavan said.

Dunavan recently completed a piece on a customer ’s back. For four hours each Tuesday afternoon, the customer came back to get it worked on, said Dunavan. After 20 hours, the artwork was completed at $2,500.

Whether the tattoo is large or small, custom or flash, it will always be unique, said Dunavan. It is part of what makes tattooing an art form. “My policy is that every tattoo will be different. Even if I do the same design from one person to the next, there will be some variation. Every person is unique and a tattoo is an expression of that,� said Dunavan. buzz

buzz

calendar

MARCH 25-31, 2004 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

decorative pottery. 305 W Grigg St in Urbana. MonFri 11am-4pm, or call for appointment. 344-8546.

Hill Street Gallery Inc. – Oil and watercolor paintings, hand painted T-shirts, handmade jewelry. 703 W Hill in Champaign. Sat 12-5pm or by appointment during the week. 359-0675.

Larry Kanfer Gallery – European Collection featured in the gallery. Both limited and open edition prints by Larry Kanfer, nationally acclaimed photographer. 2503 S Neil in Champaign. Free and Open to the Public. Mon-Sat 10am-5:30pm. 3982000. www.kanfer.com.

pm. Gallery: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

Ziemer Gallery – Paintings and limited edition prints by Larry Ziemer. Pottery, weavings, wood turning and glass works by other artists. 210 W Washington in Monticello. Tue 10am-8pm, Wed-Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. www.ziemergallery.com. 762-9786.

ART EXHIBITS

Laser’s Edge – Oil paintings on canvas and framed etchings by Sandra Ahten along with work from Lee Boyer now showing. 218 W. Main Street, Urbana. Mon-Fri 9am-5pm. 328-3343.

9th Biennial Ceramics Invitational – The Parkland invitational features the work of nine contemporary ceramic artists. This year's exhibit focuses on functional ceramics, with a specific look at the rich decorative surface that clay provides. The exhibit will be on display in the Parkland Art Gallery through April 9. 115 E. University, C. M-F, 10am3pm, M-Th, 6-8pm, Sat, 12-2pm. 351-2485.

LaPayne Photography – Specializes in panoramic photography up to 6 feet long of different subjects including sporting events, city skylines, national parks and University of Illinois scenes. 816 Dennison Dr in Champaign. Mon-Fri 9am-4pm and by appointment. 356-8994.

“Beyond East and West: Seven Transnational Artists� – The Krannert Museum has put together a traveling exhibition bringing together the work of seven major contemporary artists who share a connection to both worlds. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. Suggested donation $3. 333-1860.

Old Vic Art Gallery – Fine and original art, hand signed, limited edition prints, works by local artists, art restoration, custom framing, and periodic shows by local artists. 11 E University in Champaign. Mon-Thu 11am-5:30pm, Sat 11am4:30pm. 355-8338.

Prairie Boatworks Gallery – Beautifully hand-crafted gift items and over 35 regional artist to choose from. 407 E Main St in Mahomet. Tue, Fri, Sat 10am5pm, Sun 12-4pm. 586-6776. Information: contact Mary at 356-8228 or tangoradesigns@aol.com.

Steeple Gallery – Vintage botanical and bird prints, antiques and framed limited edition prints. 102 E Lafayette St in Monticello. Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. www.steeplegallery.com. 762-2924.

Verde Gallery – The work of local artist Sylvia Arnstein will be on display in the halls and cafÊ. 17 E Taylor St in Champaign. Cafe: Mon-Sat 7am-10

“Whistler and Japonisme: Selections from the Permanent Collection� – James McNeill Whistler’s works are highlighted on paper and examines the influence that Japanese woodcuts had on his artistic technique. On display at Krannert Art Museum through Mar 28. 500 E Peabody in Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm.

Suggested donation $3. 333-1860. “Water and Wood� – Featuring the watercolors of Beverly Sanderson and the wood carvings of the Illini Carvers. On display at the Hays Center through Mar 26. 1211 W. Church, Champaign. MonFri 8am-4pm. 398-2376. “Social Studies: Eight Artists Address Brown v.

Board of Education� – In this exhibit, eight contemporary artists commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Brown v. Board of Education desegre-

gation case. All participating artists have a history of making art that deals with pressing social issues in American society - gender, class, race, and politics. Krannert Art Museum. April 2. Exhibit on view through May 23. The museum is open to the public Tue-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm.

Free admission. Sugg donation: $3.

ON STAGE Elysium on the Prairie, Live Action Roleplaying – Vampires stalk the city streets and struggle for dominance in a world of gothic horror. Create your own character and mingle with dozens of players who portray their own undead alter egos. Each session is another chapter in an ongoing story of triumph, tragedy and betrayal. Fridays,“Vampire: The Masquerade.� 7pm. For location: www2.uiuc.edu/ro/elysium/intro.html.

FILM The Fairy Queen – Henry Purcell’s semi-opera will be under the direction of Charlotte Mattax and performed by U of I opera singers, dancers, the Concert Choir, and Concerto Urbana. Sung in English. Tryon Festival Theatre. April 23, 24 at 7:30pm.

The Barbarian Invasions – Rated R. Academy award winner for best foreign language film and original screenplay. Spoken in French, this film has refined humor, intellectual dialogue and emotional, offbeat relationships. Boardman’s Art Theatre. Playing through April 1. For showtimes, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

But I’m a Cheerleader – When 17-year-old, cheerleader Megan’s (Natasha Lyonne) parents think she is a lesbian, they send her to a homosexual deprogramming camp where Megan meets charismatic camper and fellow suspected lesbian Graham (Clea DuVall) and starts to wonder if she really does prefer the fairer sex. Krannert Art Museum, rm 62. April 8, 5:30pm.

! WEEK PLUS A LITTLE BIT MORE IN THE LIFE OF #HAMPAIGNn5RBANA

contemporary clothing jewelry, accessories, & shoes

What are some things in your work environment that influence you?

I had an epiphany this summer when I realized that I feel really cramped and stifled by an overly orderly workspace (the blank-sheet-of-paper syndrome), so my clay space is dotted with scraps of clay and bits of canes (3D patterns of clay), and loose beads and pearls and bits of wire are scattered around the assembly space. Fortunately, I am able to keep the tools corralled, or I’d spend half my time looking for them amongst the treasure.

CU in 7 plus 4HIS IS THE HEARTLAND OF !MERICA ! "IG 4EN UNIVERSITY hTOWNv WITH RICH DIVERSITY THAT EXTENDS WELL BEYOND CAMPUS BOUNDARIES #5 IN PLUS IS A LOVING PHOTOGRAPHIC PORTRAIT OF THESE CITIES AND THE SURROUNDING AREA ! MID SIZED COMMUNITY LIKE SO MANY OTHERS ILLUSTRATED HERE BY DOCUMENTING BOTH THE RAW AND THE BEAUTIFUL *UST LIKE A FAMILY THIS PLACE HAS A WIDE VARIEY OF PEOPLE HAPPY SAD MOTIVATED EASY GOING UPWARDLY MOBILE TRYING TO GET BACK ON SOLID FOOTING #5 IN PLUS SHOWS THE REAL PLACE AND THE

PHOTOS | RODERCIK GEDEY

BY KATIE RICHARDSON | ARTS EDITOR

buzz

REAL PEOPLE

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M - Th 10:30 - 5:30 Fri - Sat 10:30 - 5:00 Sun 11:00 - 4:00

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17

Elephant – Rated R. Winner of the Golden Palm at the Cannes Film Festival 2003. A film addressing school violence such as the Columbine High School shootings. Directed by Gus Van Sant.

Boardman’s Art Theatre. Starts playing after The Barbarian Invasions stops April 1. For more information, go to www.boardmansarttheatre.com.

KIDS & FAMILY Family Fun Day Sunday in the Square – Enjoy interactive rides this Sunday. There will also be food, shopping, games, miniature golf and more.

Lincoln Square Mall. Sun, 1-5pm. For more info, call the Urbana Business Association at 344-3872.

Funfare – Come to The Phillips Recreation Center Thursday, April 1, presented by The Urbana Free Library Children’s Department. Preschool groups are invited to come from 9:45-10:15am (Groups please register with the Children’s Department in advance at 367-4069). Families are invited to come from 10:30-11am. Both programs will feature stories, songs, puppets, and films for children their parent(s)or caregiver(s). No registration required.

Information: 367-4069.

My Preschool Genius – A book-centered program focusing on language. Preschoolers can listen to dynamic picture book presentations and explore the art of picture book illustration. Champaign Public Library. Tue, 9:30-10am. Registration required. Call 403-2030.

Girls, Girls, Girls! – Games, crafts, and reading time for girls in grades 1-4. Douglass Branch Library. Fri, 4-5pm. No registration.

KnowZone – Homework help for school-aged children. Tue 4-5pm. Douglass Branch Library. No registration required.

T.A.C.K. – The library’s Thursday Arts and Crafts for Kids program welcomes children to come make a craft. Douglass Branch Library, Conference Room.

Thu 4-5pm.

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5:44 PM

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Baby Time – Come to the library for a halfhour of lap-bouncing, nursery rhymes, music activities and play time for your infants. Douglass Branch Library, meeting room. Thu 10:30-11am.

Babies’ Lap Time – Babies are invited to Phillips Recreation Center for Babies' Lap Time Tuesday from 10-10:30am, presented

by The Urbana Free Library Children’s Department. This program is for our youngest patrons, ages 6-24 months with an adult. No registration. For more info, call 367-4069.

O Baby! – Lap-bouncing, nursery rhymes and music activities for infants with a caregiver. Champaign Public Library, main library. Mon, 9:30-9:50am or 10:3010:50am. No registration required. For more information, call 403-2030.

Storyshop – Stories, songs and rhymes for preschoolers through third-graders, 9:3010am or 10:30-11am at Champaign Public Library, and 10:30-11am at Douglass Branch Library, both in Champaign. Wed. No registration.

Talkin’ About Careers – Students in middle school and up and their parents can hear local professionals discuss career choices.

No registration. Douglass Branch Library.

Thur, 6:30-7:45pm. Questions: 403-2090.

“Magic Tree House” party – school-aged fans of the “Magic Tree House” book series are invited to blast back into the past at this free party. Play Magic Tree House Bingo and win prizes. Champaign Public Library. April 3, 2-3pm. No registration required. Information: 403-2030.

Science Saturdays – Phillips Recreation Center. Sat, 10-11:30am. Registration required. Information: 367-1544.

EVENTS & LECTURES “Giving a Soul to Globalization” Colloquium – In conjunction with The Spirit of Fès performances Tuesday and Wednesday, Krannert Center presents a companion “Giving a Soul to Globalization” colloquium. The event includes a showing of Terrance Grace's film Sawt-e-Sarmad: The Sound That Intoxicates Man, an impression of Morocco's Fès Festival. Subsequent dialogue involves Muslim, Jewish, and Christian leaders from Champaign-Urbana in conversation with Spirit of Fès North American artistic director Zeyba Rahman and film director Terrance Grace. Tryon Festival Theatre. Wed, 5pm. Free.

Champaign County Audubon Society early morning bird walks – Busey Woods every Sunday morning at 7:30am. Meet at Anita Purves Nature Center parking lot.

344-6803.

C.S.I. at Parkland: Forensic Science in the Dome – What is forensic science and how much of what you see on the television is real? Tod Treat, dean of Academic Services at Parkland College, will look at the some of the basic techniques of forensic science and how the scientific method is used to solve crimes in his presentation,“Forensic Science: From Fingerprinting to DNA.” Parkland College Staerkel Planetarium.

April 2, 7pm. $1. Following the talk, the planetarium will be showing “Night Lights,” followed by the light show based on Pink Floyd's “Wish You Were Here.”

Students for Environmental Concerns' Earth Day Benefit Festival – Three local bands playing there: Green Mountain Grass, Apollo Project and Nadafinga, will perform in honor of the 34th celebration of Earth Day. Illini Union's Courtyard Cafe.

April 15, 6pm.

Singles Celebrating Life dance – Urbana

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | MARCH 25-31, 2004

PHONE: 217/337-8337

Civic Center. Second Saturday of each month. 8pm-12am. $7 at the door.

DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

“Share a Meal with Community Shares” – This fundraiser helps local non-profits.

Thirty percent of your meal at Silvercreek restaurant goes to one of these charities.

For information, call 328-3402.

“Patronage of Art and Culture by Muslim Queens and Concubines” – a talk by Dede Ruggles, Department of Architecture.

Presented by The Feminist Scholarship Series. Gender & Women’s Studies Program, 911 S 6th St. Wed, 12pm.

Preview of the Roger Ebert Film Fest – Nancy Casey, assoc. dean for dev., College of Communications and producer of the fest will speak. The overlooked film festival was designed by Ebert to showcase films that have not reached as wide an audience as they deserve. Learn about this year’s line-up from the producer. Part of the Know Your University Lecture Series. Latzer Hall, University YMCA. Tue, 12pm.

“European Union: International Organization or Emerging State?” – Bob Pahre, University political science professor, will speak. The European Union is a novel political entity, neither a traditional international organization nor yet a conventional state. Pahre will present an overview of this new political system. Part of the Friday Forum Series. Latzer Hall, University YMCA. April 2, 12pm.

Geography Trilogy, Part 3: House, A Work in Progress – Ralph Lemon and his company spend six weeks at Krannert Center working on the final development of Lemon’s Geography Trilogy, Part 3 – House, an exploration of critical events in American racial history and the rich folk culture of the southern United States. Mar 15-April 25. Colwell Playhouse.

“Live! @ Your Library” feat. Colonel William Thompson – Hear a first-hand account of what it was this African American veteran who was there.

Thompson is one of the original Tuskegee Airmen. He has recently written a memoir about his wartime experiences. Champaign Public Library. April 6, 7pm. Registration not required. For more information, call 403-2070.

International Dinner – The University YMCA, Office of International Student Affairs and the Cosmopolitan Club will host its 21st annual International Dinner, which will have a large food buffet with food from more than 30 countries and international performers. University YMCA Latzer Hall. April 4, 6-8pm. Tickets on sale now, $10. For more information, call Becca Nieto at 337-1514.

Staerkel Planetarium Monthly Science Presentation – On the first Friday of each month that classes are in session, the planetarium will host a noted scientist from the community for a presentation on his or her expertise. Talks begin at 7pm and tickets are $1 at the door. No reservations necessary. Questions: 351-2446.

Job Fair 2004 at Parkland – 100+ employers and hiring representatives will talk about job opportunities. Bring resumes, fill out job applications and be prepared for on-the-spot interviews. There will be representation from a variety of career fields including business, technology, communications, healthcare, crinminal justice, manufacturing, hospitality, and human services.

April 8, 2-6pm in the Parkland Gymnasium.

Information: 351-2536.

“Letters from Heaven: Bolsheviks Against ‘Superstition’ and ‘Superstition Against Bolsheviks’” – a lecture by Steve Smith, history, University of Essex, England. Part of the Russian, East European and Eurasian Center’s Distinguished Lecturers Colloqium Series. 101 International Studies Building.

April 19, 4-5:30pm.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 34¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 25¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

Employment 000

OFF-CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished

HELP WANTED | Full Time

105 E. CLARK & 105 E. WHITE, C.

Express Personnel Services 217.355.8500 101 Devonshire Dr., Champaign

Services

100

BUSINESS SERVICES Stan’s Lawn Care Spring clean up 841-1218

1108 S. LINCOLN, U

CLEANING Exact Extraction. Carpet & upholstery cleaning. Free estimates. 6883101.

LAWN CARE FREE ESTIMATES: Tree trimming, Topping, Removal, Stump Grinding.

384-5010.

Apartments

Avail Aug 2004. Attractive modern loft apts. Dishwasher disposal, window a/c, ceiling fans, patio/ balconies, carpet, laundry, parking, 2nd floor skylights. Rents from $410/mo. $50/month to furnish. Apts. shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

400

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished

609 W. MAIN, U

Renting Aug 2004. Quiet building in nice Urbana neighborhood. 2 bedroom apts Furnished $525/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, laundry facilities. Gas Heat. Daily showings, 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. WALNUT, U

Renting for August 2004. Quiet neighborhood. 1 bedroom apts. from $475/mo. Gas heat, central a/c, laundry facilities. Parking included.

To furnish $50/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Aug 2004 rental. Older classic building close to Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Avenue. Upper apts. have hardwood floors. Laundry in building. Efficiencies have carpet and are furnished with rents from $325/mo. Unfurnished 1 bedrooms from $560/mo. 7 days a week showings.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

808 S. LINCOLN, U

Renting Aug 2004. Classic older building with Unfurnished 1 BR+ sun room, 1 BR + den, Furnished 2 BR apts and efficiency across from Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Ave. Near Krannert, Law School, Music, etc.

Features hardwood floors in upper units, laundry on site. Parking $45/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

1 BR+ SunRoom- from $605/mo(UF) 1 BR+ Den - from $605/mo (UF) 2 BR - from $495 (F) Efficiency - from $370/mo (F) BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 1 Bedroom w/ Den 202 E. John, patio, some utilities included. $530 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

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Courtyard Apartments 713 S. Randolph, Champaign Renting for Fall/2 & 3 Bedrooms.

Furnished & Unfurnished From $608/mo.

Includes cable, parking, water.

Has laundry facility and seasonal pool. Near campus and downtown Champaign.

352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished

1005 S. SIXTH, C.

Aug 2004. A+ location! Next to UI Library. Great older building. 1 bedrooms from $455/mo. Laundry facilities, Window A/C, Carpet. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1006 W. STOUGHTON, U.

Very close to Engineering campus.

Avail for Aug 2004. Masonry construction.

2 bedrooms from $620/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Parking $25/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

101 N. BUSEY & 102 N. LINCOLN, U.

August 2004. Excellent location near Green & Lincoln. 2 bedroom apts from $500/mo. Window A/C, Laundry. Parking avail at $30/mo. Apartments shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

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MARCH 25-31, 2004 | HEY, LET'S POP SOME VIAGRAS AND ISSUE TICKETS WITH RAGING, MEGA-HUGE BONERS.

7

Permanent human artwork

BY KARIE MILEWSKI | STAFF WRITER

years in the piercing industry, tattooing was the natural progression of the body modification business, said Dunavan. Altered Egos stands out from the typical tattoo parlor. The ivid purple flames painted on the wall sur- atmosphere is relaxed, inviting and positive.

“We don’t want to be the stereotypical round a room where a nervous girl gazes at her ‘motorcycle-tough-guy-loud-heavy-metalfoot that is about to be painted—permanently.

Jason Dunavan is an artist, but instead of a music’ tattoo parlor,” said Dunavan.

Altered Egos offers alterbrush he uses an electric natives to tattoos such as needle. On Wednesday piercing, branding and afternoon at Altered Egos henna tattoos. He has given in Champaign, 18-yearcustomers flesh artwork for old Bailey Eckhoff’s right the past one-and-a-half foot is about to become years, but he has been tatDunavan’s canvas.

Jason Dunavan tooing friends and tattoo Bottles of ink, lotion, artists for the past two. rubbing alcohol and conBranding requires a thin tainers of cotton puffs line the table next to Eckhoff. Even with the multi- piece of metal, called an iron, to be heated. The tude of colorful cartoons decorating the room, iron scars the flesh by burning the desired Dunavan stands out. His arms, legs and neck are images into the skin. The scar ensures a permanent design, said Dunavan. one large picture.

“Branding is pretty rare around here. It’s “Sometimes too much looks bad, but all the usually a butterfly or heart (tattoo) for the girls tattoos that I have are a running theme,” said Dunavan.

He helped open Altered Egos three years ago with the intent of offering piercing, but he was quick to turn to tattooing. After eight

V

[

I respect so many different styles and techniques.

[

102 N. GREGORY, U.

August 2004. Close to Illini Union. 2 bedrooms at $500/mo. Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry. Parking available at $30/mo. 7 days a week showings.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Wilson Place Apartments 611 West Green Street, Urbana

New 2-bedroom Luxury Apartments in a quiet, historic, residential Urbana neighborhood available August 2003.

Beautifully designed - Georgian style architecture with a brick exterior - bay windows - attractive color schemes.

•Balcony or patio •Broadband internet access Each unit provides: •Washer/dryer •Buzzer/intercom access •Dishwasher •New furniture package •Microwave •Recessed lighting •Garbage disposal •Ceramic tile in kitchen, entry, and bathrooms •Assigned parking space to each unit •Extensive landscaping $950/month - $50/month parking Located at the corner of Green Street and Coler Street two blocks east of Lincoln Avenue, this location is close to the University of Illinois Law School, Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, Computer Science, BARR Engineering, and Music buildings.

R E A L . E S T A T E South Neil St. Great for grad students, professionals, couples or singles. 1710 Champaign, Illinois Second bedroom could make a great office or den. www.barr-re.com 217.356.1873

Tattoo artist Jason Dunavun adds detail to patron Bailey Eckhoff’s right foot.

and a tribal band around a guy’s arm,” said Dunavan.

Eckhoff chose a rose as her first tattoo. She jumps to the buzzing of the needle when Dunavan clicks it on. The needle threads into her flesh, and Eckhoff slightly winces but quickly recovers. The first few seconds are the worse, but then your nerves become numb, said Dunavan.

Dunavan got his first tattoo: a bomb on the web in between his index finger and thumb on his right hand when he was 18. Many years Lines of ink bottles line Altered Egos’ walls. later, Dunavan’s flesh canvas has greatly diminished as more colors shine from Dunavan continues to get fellow co-worker ’s artwork permanently displayed on his his skin.

Just as a McDonald’s employee enjoys body. His decorated limbs are a combination of the delicacy of free Big Macs, a tattoo his own designs as well as designs by artistic artist benefits from free ink decoration, f r i e n d s a n d other talented tattoo artists.

“I respect so many different styles and said Dunavan. A free piece of artwork that techniques. Art has always you can keep forever is worth the pain.

“It hurt really bad. They (tattoos) still do been a big influence on and really, I hate getting them,” my decision to go into tattooing,” Dunavan said.

D e s p i t e t h e p a i n , said Dunavan.

PHOTOS | KARIE MILEWSKI

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5:44 PM

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“THE SNOZBERRIES TASTE LIKE SNOZBERRIES?” | MARCH 25-31, 2004

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House Arrest 2 championship dance team comes to C-U

The music was bumpin’ and the crowd was jumpin’ as House Arrest 2 Championship Dance Team performed last Saturday night at Lincoln Hall. The group performs and competes all over the United States. Juan C. Frazier founded House Arrest 2, in Chicago, in August 1994. With the motto, “God made us, nobody can break us,” they have proven their success and expanded nationally with chapters in Chicago, Champaign and Macomb, Ill., as well as chapters in Alabama, Florida and North Carolina. The group plans to also reach to the West and to other countries as well, said Basil “Money” Muhammad, the national secretary.

“We want to promote hip hop and house around the world,” Muhammad said.

The first chapter started in Chicago, and has many high school students as well as some college students. They also have one young boy, who is only 10, named “Huey.” The Champaign chapter, as well as most of the other chapters, consists of only college students.

Muhammad, the national secretary, has been dancing for 13 years and been involved in student council work for eight years. He was one of the founders of Floor Killa Assassins Dance Troupe, FKA, at the University in 1998. Then, in 2001, along with others, such as Moises Jerez, he merged FKA in Champaign with House Arrest 2 from Chicago to form the second chapter of House Arrest 2 in Champaign. Muhammad recently graduated from the University of Illinois, returned to Chicago and is joining the navy in May. He said he will continue his job as national secretary for House Arrest 2 after joining

the Navy, but with the help of an assistant.

“We decided to merge because House Arrest 2 was Chicago’s number one dance team and FKA was Champaign’s number one dance team so we felt it was only right,” said Moises Jerez, president and advisor for the Champaign chapter.

Moises Jerez is also one of the founders of the Champaign chapter. From the beginning, Jerez has hosted the shows. He also danced with FKA starting in 1999, as an undergraduate at the University. Then he became the external president and advisor in 2001 when FKA merged with House Arrest 2. In December 2003, he finished his graduate studies at the University. He is now in Chicago, but still continues to host the shows. “My heart is still with Champaign,” Jerez said.

Another member of the Champaign chapter is Phara Fortenberry, one of the four executive board members, who joined the Chicago team at 16 years old, her sophomore year of high school.

“My friends in high school were on the team and invited me to try out,” Fortenberry said. “I was anxious to try a new type of urban dance and be a part of a well-know dance group in the Chicago area.”

Fortenberry has been dancing since she was nine years old.

She is now a freshman at the University. She said that she chose the school for her old major, veterinary medicine, unaware that a chapter existed here. She said that she plans to continue dancing in Champaign with House Arrest 2 until she completes her undergraduate degree.

“I like meeting new people because when you’re a member of a group like House Arrest 2, everyone seems to know you and think you’re important,” Fortenberry said.

The group is very supportive of different chapters, often traveling to watch each other perform and compete.

“The most rewarding thing is that after every performance we all get together and do something,” Muhammad said. “We are very unified.”

There are shows and competitions happening in April throughout Illinois, as well as in other states. Check out the House Arrest 2 Web site at www.housearrest2.com, to learn more about the group, the different chapters and to find the nearest dance down. buzz

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 102 E. Gregory 1 Bedroom, multiple layouts, great location $420-$570 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

105 E. GREEN, C

Studio apts avail Aug 2004. Carpet, electric heat, wall a/c units, off street parking avail, laundry on site. Rents from $320/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. EUCLID, C

Aug 2004 rental. First rate location near Armory, IMPE, and Snack Bar. 1 bedroom apts. Window A/C, Gas Heat, laundry. Parking $35/mo.

Rents start at $395/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

201 N. LINCOLN, U

August 2004 rental. 2 bedroom apt at $500/mo. Close to campus with parking, ceiling fans, laundry, carpet/tile floors. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished 202 E. John 2 Bedroom, some bi-level, balcony, some utilities included. $550-$800 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

3 & 4 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory, Large Bi-level with 2 bath $1150-$1250, parking available.

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

307 W. Elm, U.

Availble August ‘04. 1 bedroom apts in quiet Urbana neighborhood. Hardwood floors. Window A/C, forced heat. Parking avail. Rents from $365/mo. to $410/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

Barr Real Estate 356-1873 www. barr-re.com

311 E. WHITE, C.

Avail for Aug 2004. Large furnished efficiencies close to Beckman Center. Rent starts at $325/mo. Parking avail at $30/mo. Window A/C, carpet. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

404 W. HIGH, U

Renting for Aug 2004. Huge 2 bedroom apts. Completely remodeled.

Washer/Dryer in each unit. Parking available. Quiet Urbana neighborhood. Rents start at $695/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

5 & 6 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory, Large Bi-level with 2 bath $1500- $1800, parking available.

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

House Arrest 2 Championship Dance team practices before their performance last Saturday night at Lincoln Theatre.

509 W. MAIN, U.

Quiet Urbana location very close to campus avail for Aug 2004. 1 BR apts. Rents start at $390/mo. Carpet, laundry facilities, window A/C, storage, parking avail at $25/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Boneyard Pottery 50% off everything through March

610 E. Stoughton Nice 2&3 bedrooms, dishwasher, balcony, Awesome location, $675$1050 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

611 W. Green, U

403 S. Water Street in Champaign (Across from Rock’s) 355-5610

New 2 bedroom luxury apts avail. for Aug 2004. Georgian style architecture with brick exterior in historic Urbana neighborhood. Balcony/ patio, washer/dryer, dishwasher, microwave, garbage disposal, internet access, assigned parking $50/ mo.

Rent $950/ mo. Call for details.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

SPORTSWEAR

12 Main St. Downtown Champaign 217-359-2231

Dance Apparel and Shoes

1760 Windsor Road East

WESTGATE

APARTMENTS

• Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Dependable, 24hr. maintenance • 24 Hour Courtesy

• Superior management • Short-term Leases • On Busline • Free Parking

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished

702 W. WESTERN, U.

910 S. Locust Large 1 Bedroom, hardwood floors, Some utilities included, $530-$550 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

Aug 2004. 1 bedrooms with window a/c, carpet/tile floors, boiler heat, laundry on site. Parking avail. Rents from $495/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

705 W. STOUGHTON, U.

Aug 2004 rental. 3 bedroom apts.

Near Lincoln Ave. and Engineering Campus. Fenced-in yard. Balconies/ patios. Microwaves, carpet, central A/C, disposal, dishwasher, parking $25/mo. Rents start at $615/mo.

Shown daily 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. FIRST, C

Excellent Value for Aug 2004. Half block south of Green on First Street.

Large apts in security building. 2 bedrooms from $480/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Hot water heat. Parking at $30/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. LOCUST, C.

Aug 2004 rentals. One block west of First Street, close to campus in quiet neighborhood. Window A/C, Gas heat, Carpet, Covered Parking available, Laundry facilities. 1 bedrooms $395/mo and 2 bedrooms $610/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

802 W. GREEN, U.

Aug 2004 rental. One block from Lincoln Ave. Great architecture and design - not a box apt. Large units with central A/C, carpet, patios/balconies, laundry. Off-street parking at $45/mo. 2 bedrooms from $595/mo.

Showings 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

805 S. LINCOLN, U.

Aug 2004. Great location. Attractive apts. Carpet, Ceiling fans, A.C. Efficiencies from $500/mo, 1 bedrooms from $545/mo. 7 days a week showing.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

807 W. Oregon Large 2 & 3 Bedrooms, Dishwasher, Balcony, $690-$1100.

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com 810 W. Iowa 2 Bedroom Washer/dryer, dishwasher, some utilities included $700-$730 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com 811 W. Oregon Nice 4 Bedroom washer/dryer, dishwasher, balcony. $1250 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

907 W. STOUGHTON, U.

Excellent location. Aug. 2004 rental.

Attractive apts with Central A/C, Carpet, Microwaves, Large rooms, laundry facilities. 2 bedroom from $625/mo. Parking at $30/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Gate House

359-5330 359-5330

Hours: M-F 9-5 Sat 9-1 • office@westgateapts.com www.austinssportswear.com

classifieds

MARCH 25-31, 2004 | OH WHAT UNKIN FUN WE HAVE ON SPRING BREAK PARY ON DUDE!!!!

1507 E. Washington Large 2 bdrm. Apts. Remodeled, new appliances, Some utilities included, washer/dryer, 850 sq. ft.

Starting at $490. Available now!

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com PHOTO COURTESY OF RANDOM HOUSE

BY SUZANNE SITRICK | STAFF WRITER

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Aug: Large 2 BR secure apts, w/d, free parking, Race at Wash., U. No pets. $595/mo. 356-0017 or 7789498

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C.

Avail August 2004. Located at Third and Gregory across from the Snack Bar. A block from IMPE. Large one bedroom apts. Well-maintained. One of the best bargains on campus.

Gas Heat, Carpet, Window A/C, Assigned Parking available. Laundry facilities available. Rents start at $360/mo. Apts shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Balcony in the Trees at 707 W. Elm, U. August: 2,3, & 4 Bedroom apartments reasonably priced at $560, $750 & $972/mo. Quiet comtemporary small building, laundry, excellent campus location. 2BR has 650 sqft., 3BR has cathedral ceilings, loft BR, 800 sqft., 4 BR unique townhouse, patio, balcony, 2 full baths, huge 1300 sqft. Call 840-5134. www.robsapartments.com

BUSEY & ILLINOIS, U.

Large apts in quiet Urbana location one block South of Green and one block East of Lincoln. Off street parking. 2 bedrooms start at $615/mo. Avail Aug 2004. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Don’t get stuck with only those high-priced apartments for Fall.

Well-maintained 2-bedroom furnished apartments in quiet neighborhood near Beckman and Engineering.

Dishwasher, AC, ethernet included.

Parking available. $580 -$630/mo.

493-8487, 355-6215 Extremely Large Two Bedroom 509 S. Fourth, All utilities included, Washer/Dryer $1060.

Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

JOHN & LOCUST, C

Showing for Aug 2004. Quiet neighborhood. One block west of First Street and close to campus. Huge one bedroom apts, very bright. Window A/C, Carpet, Gas Heat. Parking $20/mo. Rents start at $350/mo.

Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Fall 2004 1 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $440-$540 202 E. John $400-$585 910 S. Locust $550 2 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $580-$730 202 E. John $570-$860 509 S. Fourth $1060 610 E. Stoughton $600-$730 807 W. Oregon $700-$790 810 W. Iowa $660-$730

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished John Randolph Atrium Avail now for either semester or year lease. Rent a bedroom/bath close to Osco Drug on Randolph & John.

Starting at $300/mo. with basic utilities included. Call for showing.

Barr Real Estate, Inc. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com (217)384-6930 “believe the hype”

LINCOLN PLACE APARTMENTS NW Corner of Lincoln & Main, Urbana 2 & 3 Bedrooms Furnished Features: • ETHERNET • On-Site Resident Manager • Free Off-Street Parking • Laundry Facilities (5) • Cable, Carpeted • Dishwasher/Microwave • Frost-free Refrigerator • Energy Efficient/Sound Baffled • Well-Maintained • Owner Managed • No Pets

Now Leasing for Fall!

Call 328-0136

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Unurnished

OFF-CAMPUS APARTMENTS Unfurnished

115 W. WASHINGTON, U

Brand new luxury 1, 2, 3, bedroom apartments available in Champaign.

Call Manchester Property Management at 359-0248 for an appointment.

Available Aug 2004. 1 bedroom apts. in quiet Urbana neighborhood.

Carpet, window a/c, laundry, boiler heat. Rents from $510/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

205 EAST HEALEY, C

Renting Aug 2004. Very large 1 bedroom apartments. Carpet, window A/C, parking available at $30/mo.

Rents start at $385/mo. Shown daily 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

309 W. Springfield, C. Spacious 2 BR townhouse now available. $550/mo. Flexible lease.

352-8540. PM 355-4608. www.faronproperties.com

606 S. Prairie, C.

Available now. Just remodeled 1 bedroom apartments in quiet Champaign neighborhood near campus.

Shown 7 days a week. Bargain Rent.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873

lincolnplapts@mcleodusa.net

Unique 2 bdrm. Apt. 910 S. Locust, Very large, hardwood floors, washer/dryer, some utilities included $750 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

Very Large 2 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory, Big rooms, walk-in closets, Great location. $700-$730 Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

APARTMENTS

19

722 S. BROADWAY, U.

Renting for Aug 2004. 1 bedroom apts. close to Lincoln Square Mall.

Carpet, window A/C, boiler heat.

Rents from $430/mo. Apts. shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

800 W. Church, C. Now avail. Economical 2 BR. $450/mo. 352-8540, 355-4608 pm. www.faronproperties.com

SUBLETS Sublet furnished apartment at rose for next year. We’ll $100/month of rent. Your rent $305/month, utilities included.

Paula at (618)579-9136.

Melpay only Call

SUBLETS Summer only HUGE 2 bedroom apt. Fourth and Green. Close to bars and Quad.

Cheap$. 563-650-5261

Other Rentals 500 HOUSES 1103 S. Busey Spacious 9 Bedroom House, Very large Bedrooms, Washer/Dryer, Parking Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

602 W. Michigan, U Avail 2004. 3 bedroom house with sunroom, washer & dryer, forced air heat. Rent $1,300/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

703 W. Green, U. Spacious remodeled, 5-6 BR, 2 Baths, A/C, internet, $1850/mo.

Avail. August. 840-8622.

801 W. Iowa Large 8 bedroom 3 Bath House, Furnished, Washer/Dryer, Lots of Parking Gabe’s Place 359-0700 www.GabesPlace.com

430

Unfurnished One bedroom near Lincoln Square.

Balcony, free parking. $430. 3446576.

3 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $1100 202 E. John $800 610 E. Stoughton $900-$1125 807 W. Oregon $1000-$1170 4 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $1200 5&6 Bedrooms 102 E. Gregory $1500-$1600 Houses 801 W. Iowa 8 Bedrooms $2500 1103 S. Busey 9 Bedrooms $3100

359-0700 • www.GabesPlace.com

COMPLETELY REMODELED URBANA THREE-BEDROOM

502 S. Anderson, Urbana is off-campus, but close, and is available to rent for August 2004. This threebedroom is on the second floor and features brand new Schrock cabinets, new bathroom, beautiful paint throughout, washer/dryer, 1500 sq. ft., and easy access to campus for only $950! Call 384-6930 NOW for your special showing.

JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com “believe the hype” Champaign County Apartment Association’s Member of the Year 2001

ENORMOUS 10BEDROOM HOUSE!

Yes! 802 S. Lincoln Ave, U. is available to rent for August 2004. Four refrigerators, two full and two half bathrooms, washer/dryer, fresh paint throughout, and the coolest landlord in town, for only $4495! Call 3846930 NOW for your special showing.

JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com “believe the hype” Champaign County Apartment Association’s Member of the Year 2001

ROOMS

903 W. NEVADA, U

FAIRLAWN VILLAGE FAIRLAWN & VINE Aug. 2004. Live in a peaceful, relaxed, neighborhood setting. Fairlawn Village is a one story apartment community, spread out on twelve acres, close to U of I, shopping and walking distance to schools. Spacious apartments with washer dryer hook up, A/C, and garages available. One bedrooms from $485/mo. Two bedrooms from $500 to $585/mo. Call for an appointment.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 344-5043 www.barr-re.com

Quality rooming house. Near Jimmy John’s on Lincoln Ave. Rooms avail for Aug. 2004. Rents from $260/mo to $330/mo. Laundry facilities, Common kitchen. Showing 7 days a week.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

ROOMMATES Female Roommates Needed For Fall 2004-Spring 2005. 307 A East Michigan Ave. Shared room. $300 + utilities. 708-955-1814.

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film

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND ★★★★

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

Y

ou’ve got to feel a little sorry for Charlie Kaufman’s psychiatrist—that is, assuming he’s had the sense to consult one. Since the production of his first feature-length script, the boldly out-there Being John Malkovich, the former television writer has invited America into the strangest corners of his dangerous mind. This guy has more than his share of psychological issues stemming from his overactive brain, and he knows it; he wrote himself as the protagonist of Adaptation, and the character sure wasn’t pretty.

But despite sympathizing with Kaufman’s shrink, you certainly have to admire the

moviereview

DAWN OF THE DEAD ★★

BY JANELLE GREENWOOD | STAFF WRITER

L

ast week, promoters showed a sneak preview of the first 10 minutes of Dawn of the Dead on USA network to scare the hell out of viewers in hopes of drawing them into the theatres. The promo definitely worked.

After a peaceful night in Milwaukee, a doeeyed nurse, Ana (Sarah Polley) and her husband wake up to find a young neighborhood girl wandering through their hallway. Bloody mayhem soon follows when the girl attacks and bites the husband, which eventually kills him and transforms his previously sweet demeanor into that of a flesh-eating zombie.

The world now faces an apocalyptic nightmare where no human is safe.

Ana manages to escape in her car to find shelter, but soon finds that everyone around her has either been bitten or is hysterically searching for shelter, just as she is. Eventually run off the road by a crazed man, Ana wakes up to find that a cop (Ving Rhames) is also searching for shelter and survivors. By chance,

writer’s imagination. He again collaborates with Human Nature director Michael Gondry for the confidently chaotic Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, a frenzied brain-buster of a movie that comes about as close as possible to illustrating the act of dreaming.

Like all of Kaufman’s scripts, the premise is relatively simple but with a twist of off-center, dude-that’s-so-messed-up stoner mania. When Joel Barish’s (Jim Carrey) girlfriend pretends not to know who he is, he thinks it’s just a case of post-argument resentment. He soon finds out she has actually had him erased from her memory via a brain-stripping process (a procedure that’s significantly more complicated than Men in Black’s method of “stare at the bright light and you will forget exactly the right memories”), so, like any scorned boyfriend, he wants to play the forget-me-forever game, too.

The film opens with mundane regularity, as Joel meets blue-haired Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet) and they begin a relationship that finds a comfort level with surprising swiftness, like they may already know each other from somewhere.

But once Joel’s post-relationship procedure begins, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind spins into a dizzying state of dream-induced dementia. As memory-erasing technicians Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood work to free Joel’s mind of all things Clementine, Joel’s brain works just as hard to hold on to her, jumping frantically across memories of their relationship and his early childhood. He mentally travels to the two meet up with several others and make their way into a local shopping mall, where they hope to escape the hell outside.

As time goes on, the unlikely mix of survivors find other people trying to make their way into the mall to escape. Most of the people who were lucky enough to find this safe place, as well as the original group, soon find their way out of their safe zone through their attempts to help everyone.

This film really attempts to show what could happen in a situation where an unlikely group of people are forced to get along long enough to stay alive. Dawn of the Dead fails is in its attempts to focus on too many people and too many struggles at once. Yes, these people are all bound by their desire to live, but other problems within this microcosm of humanity constantly arise.

Mekhi Phifer plays an expecting father, Andre, who looks after his wife while trying to help the survival effort within the mall. Andre is probably the only character given enough attention and depth to care about, but his character dies too early to comply with the ultimate theme of the film: life will prevail. His wife, who becomes infected by a small wound, also dies while giving birth in a scene that easily rivals the famous birth scene in Alien.

Looking at the film as a whole, the special effects do enhance the horror-filled moments of these characters that live like caged animals waiting for slaughter. Enough visual tension is provided to feel these effects, but the emotions

DAWN OF THE DEAD | SARAH POLLEY of characters falls by the wayside. While the visual effects with the zombie’s makeup and the bloody massacre surrounding everyone looks impressive, the film does manage to keep the explosions and disgust to a discrete enough level to make the characters’ actions appear somewhat plausible, given their unrealistic situation.

The screenplay also tries to offer some factual information on how to kill the predatory zombies, while still portraying some of the ambiguity felt by the group because they do not understand why these events are occurring. But a bit more clarification, at times, wouldn’t hurt.

Dawn of the Dead also deserves some credit in its attempt as a remake to the original thriller. What’s nice about this remake is that this screenplay does not try to follow the plot or the characters in the original Dawn of the Dead, other than the general idea that “when there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.”

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MARCH 25-31, 2004

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Habitat for Humanity builds houses, hope included

everything from snow-covered beaches and icy ponds to blissful under-the-cover conversations and even infantile sink-bathing, watching objects and people disappear as parts of his memory are removed.

The film masterfully constructs the out-ofcontrol sensation of dreaming and uses it to construct a complex insight into fate, love and living in the past. This is a movie about the power of memory and, more importantly, the beauty of experience, and it indelibly articulates the sense of violation that would come from having someone purge your mind of its most personal moments.

It also acts as a salute to intimacy, sanctifying the brain as something inherently individual and championing the act of allowing someone else into such a private place. The characters aren’t the same after their memories are tampered with, but they don’t exactly know it. They just don’t feel like they know themselves anymore, caught in a permanent state of disconnected deja vu. When they are forced to confront forgotten memories, it’s scarier than, say, being told of blacked-out drunken antics. These people don’t remember not remembering, and life then takes on a terrifying new dimension of ever-changing present and ever-present past.

Jim Carrey has excellent experience as a hero who’s not exactly sure about the reality around him, but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind requires a different type of confused, dramatic power than The Truman Show. Rather, Eternal Sunshine sparkles less from its performances

BY JOANNA HUSSEY | STAFF WRITER

H ETERNAL SUNSHINE | JIM CARREY and more because of its delightfully tripped-out presentation of the blurred lines between dream and reality, past and present.

The film manages to fly off the hinges into non-chronological twists and turns of lucid dreaming, but it remains grounded in its dissection of the scarred harmony that exists among all humans who have experienced sadness, longing and love. Even at its most structurally perplexing—rapid-fire editing and instantaneous location changes continuously leave the audience without much conscious ground to stand on—Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a thrillingly stimulating, mentally challenging puzzler worthy of thought as well as conversation.

It’s about the destiny of love, the spontaneity of life and the everyday opportunity to fully realize both. It shows that we can never truly escape from pain, that heartache is a small price to pay for a chance at happiness, and that a mind—especially one like Kaufman’s—is a terrible thing to waste.

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

moviereview

IT’S SPRING BREAK!! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? | MARCH 25 - 31, 2004

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FILMS FEATURING JIM CARREY

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) This comedy features Carrey as a pet detective trying to find the thief that stole the Miami Dolphins’ mascot Snowflake the Dolphin so that Snowflake would be able to perform the halftime show at the Super Bowl. Full of classic Carrey comedy, sexual inuendos and a crossdressing former NFL kicker who lost his team the Super Bowl, this film is a must-see.

DavidSpears

Here, Carrey plays alongside living legend Jeff Daniels in this film that proves absolute stupidity is just plain hilarious. In one shining moment, Carrey sold a dead, decapitated bird to a blind kid, taping the head on and calling the bird quiet.

When looking for shameless ignorance and wellwishing idiocy, Dumb and Dumber is definitely the film for you. “Sampsonite! I was way off.”

The Truman Show (1998)

–Paul Wagner

raise around $35,000 for another Habitat home.

To be considered for a Habitat home, applicants must call Habitat and be put on a waiting list. At an annual meeting, which helps everyone understand the whole process, members of Habitat determines which families are eligible for a Habitat home, said Huth.

The families must also meet income requirements, which are set between 25 percent and 50 percent of local area’s income. There is also consideration of a certain debt to income ratio; the family has to be able to pay a mortgage, because these houses are built and then immediately sold, Huth said.

Residents of the new home provide the labor and sweat equity.

S i n g l e families must c o m p l e t e 2 5 0 hours and two-parent families must fulfill 500 hours of labor throughout the several month build. This labor includes attending classes on home maintenance and finance, as well as helping the volunteers build the new home.

It is important in incorporating both the volunteers and the new homeowners onsite of the home. By the new homeowners working alongside volunteers, Huth said, it creates pride of ownership for the house as it is being built, which creates a strong foundation. buzz Contact Habitat at www.prairienet.org/habitat or by calling (217) 355-6460 for more information.

Q & A

Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Carrey, here, proves that he actually has some acting ability in this serious film about the ultimate reality TV show. Carrey plays Truman, a man whose entire life has been aired on TV worldwide.

Ed Harris acts as the god-like creator of the show.

Truman starts to question the reality of his life and embarks on a quest for the truth. This film was both deep and moving, characteristics that aren’t usually found in Jim Carrey movies.

for personal enjoyment, he recently decided to combine his rides to help benefit local causes.

He hopes to raise $6,000 toward Habitat for Humanity of Champaign and Piatt counties as well as the Champaign-Urbana Jewish Foundation.

The other summer bike ride involves the Shallenberger brothers, Loran, 23, and Logan, 20, both of Mahomet. They will begin in early July to complete the 2,174-mile trip of the entire Appalachian Mountain trail. This trip will take them from Maine to Georgia in four months and will include some hiking.

They hope to

abitat for Humanity volunteers work onsite three days a week as the summer sun beats down on them. The wooden frame is assembled and nails are banged into place as this large structure begins to resemble a house. As new homes are built in Champaign and Piatt counties each year, many people do not realize the amount of fund-raising and donations that made the new structures possible.

This year, Peter Fox of the Fox Development Corporation and his wife, Kim, created a $20,000 matching challenge. If Habitat is able to raise that amount, then the Foxes will match it dollar for dollar and the money will be used to construct the first home. The challenge was finalized Feb. 13 and the groundbreaking is scheduled for May 1. The new home’s owner, KaShawn Merriweather of Champaign, chose the lot at 808 Romine St. in Urbana for the location of her new home. She will share this home with her two daughters, one son and soon-to-be adopted daughter.

Other local residents are engaging in more physical fund-raising efforts to help Habitat. Two different groups of bikers will raise money by completing two different bike rides during the summer.

Local resident Ray Spooner, 44, will take part in what he calls “Bike Home,” a 2,000-plus mile bike ride following the reverse route of the Lewis and Clark expedition trail. On May 8, Spooner will board a plane to Billings, Mont., PHOTO COURTESY OF HABITAT FOR HUMANITY then ride nearly 150 miles per day for about two weeks, taking him across paved roads, down bike paths and over unpaved rail-trails, with occasional sections of gravel roads.

While he usually rides Volunteers participate in construction of a roof for a Habitat for Humanity house.

PHOTO | CHRISTINE LITAS

3/23/04

FOCUS FILMS

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For the past eight years, Radio Maria, located at 119 N. Walnut, has served Champaign residents unique, internationally inspired cuisine. Owners David Spears and Sharon Owens strive to attract customers with Radio Maria’s uniqueness and friendly service.

a variety of international inspired cuisine. So one day, my friend named Maria saw something, and we just kind of combined the names.

How did you get into the restaurant business?

I guess it had to do with circumstance.

Sharon and I are both artists, so we came to Champaign primarily to finish our education.

We were looking for something to do that would let us apply our skills and create something that would be reflective of that.

How is Radio Maria different from other Champaign restaurants?

The uniqueness of it all. There are just so many Chinese restaurants and pizza places.

People need to have choices. I mean, pizza’s great, but you need something different.

How did you come up with the name Radio Maria?

Naming something like a restaurant is difficult. It’s like naming horses or bands. But in this case, we knew that our interests were

How long has Radio Maria been in business?

It’s coming up on eight years now.

What do you like best about having a restaurant in downtown Champaign?

I love downtown. There’s just a sense of a desire to create and re-create. It doesn’t have the stale, mass appeal that Prospect Avenue kind of brings. I guess that it’s the creative level. We meet a lot of new people. A lot of like-

minded people work here (such as) artists.

What would you be doing if you were not running Radio Maria?

Well, it’s what I wish I had a few more hours in the day to do. I just love to build, create and design. I like to think of something that nobody’s ever seen before and to create it.

What attracts customers to Radio Maria?

Great food, wonderful service and people, and an intriguing environment.

What is your favorite food?

My favorite food is anything with flavor and spices, anything with interesting new ingredients.

Check out Radio Maria and its menu at www.radio-maria.net.

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MARCH 25-31, 2004

buzz

Atkins ... or fadkins?

Low-carb options abound, but does the science hold weight? ber of carbs minus the fiber, glycerin and sugar alcohol that do not have a strong effect on blood sugar.

The emphasis on reducing carbs affects alcoholic beverBY AMY FISHMAN | age intake, as well. Bacardi advertises a Bacardi and diet cola drink containing 66 calories, no fat and no carbs. The STAFF WRITER Latrobe Brewing Co., manufacturer of Rolling Rock beer, has a new low-carb beer out called Rock Green Light.

Chicago-based 3 Vodka Distilling Co. manufactures vodka rom the Atkins diet to from soy isolates, which contain no carbs.

Locally, the Low Carb Shoppe, 1403 S. Neil St., the new Subway and T.G.I. Friday’s low-carbohydrate meals, Champaign, offers a wide variety of low-carb foods such the Bacardi and diet cola ads, and as candies, caramels, sauces, salad dressings, breads, now the new Low Carb Shoppe in Champaign, the low-carb desserts and drinks.

Owner Deb Montgomery of Champaign said she lifestyle is everywhere.

The idea behind a low-carbohydrate meal comes from the opened the shop because she had been on a low-carb diet fact that the body burns carbs and fat as fuel and energy. Carbs for a while and found it difficult to find low-carb foods in metabolize first. When they are cut, the body burns fat instead. town. She figured if she was having trouble finding low- Easter baskets that include sugar-free chocolate bunnies, jellybeans and peanut butter eggs sit on display.

The Atkins diet is meant to cause weight loss, weight main- carb foods, others might have been too.

Montgomery does not see the low-carb diets as a fad. It tenance, good health and disease prevention. People need to “I think that the ‘demonization’ of one macronutrient is a bad develop a diet based on their critical carb level for losing is fad if people stop cutting the carbs, causing them to gain back idea,” Roach said. “The low-fat diets didn’t work for heart (CCLL), and critical carb level for maintenance (CCLM). CCLL all the weight, she said. health and weight management. That’s what happens when “I prefer to call it a lifestyle,” she said. is the number of grams of carbs that will allow for weight loss.

However, from a nutrient point of view, the Atkins diet has you call one thing bad.”

CCLM is the level of carb intake necessary to maintain weight.

Roach said our culture is “fond” of carbohydrates. Many stuThe Atkins diet promotes an individually controlled carb diet some drawbacks. There are three macronutrients everyone needs in their diets: fat, proteins and carbohydrates, said dents have tried to reduce carbs in their diets, she said. that includes nutrient-dense foods and exercise.

T.G.I. Friday’s offers nine new Atkins-approved menu Rebecca Roach, McKinley Health Center’s nutrition education However, this kind of dieting is hard to follow and most stuitems, two appetizers and seven entrees. Each of these menu coordinator and registered dietitian. Everyone needs micronu- dents do not have the patience for it.

With trends, people are looking for a quick fix, she said. People options contains 17 or fewer net carbs. A net carb is the num- trients such as fiber and vitamins, as well. lose a lot of water initially when they make restrictions. When people restrict their diets, they miss out on their favorite items, she said. When they stop dieting, they eat what they would not allow themselves to eat.

Roach said that the Atkins net carb idea is the same as substituting carbs with something else, such as calories. For example, the T.G.I. Fridays chicken and broccoli Atkins-approved entree contains over 1,000 calories. That is half of what collegeaged women should consume every day, she said. The bottom line is controlling calorie intake, she said, and how many of those calories are used.

Roach does not think people should diet. Instead, they should follow a well-balanced diet, exercise, and learn how to moderate carb and protein intake.

People cannot diet forever, Roach said. They cut back on food, lose the weight, get frustrated, gain the weight back and then feel bad about themselves.

Maggie Charicki, a University freshman, said she has tried the South Beach diet, a three-phase diet that teaches users how to rely on the right carbs and fats while eliminating the bad ones. Phase one gets rid of cravings. Phase two reintroduces carbs to the diet. Phase three is a lifestyle of balancing carbs.

Charicki said it worked for her and she still does it off and on. For the first two weeks of her diet, she could not eat carbs.

She got used to it quickly and lost the majority of her total weight loss during that period. Breads were the hardest to give up, she said.

“It’s probably one of the better low-carb diets because it reintroduces carbs into your diet,” Charicki said.

As for the future of low-carbohydrate diets, despite all the accommodations and the hype, it will still be up dieters to An employee stocks the shelves at the Low Carb Shoppe, 1403 S. Neil St., Champaign. The shelves are filled with sugar-free and low-carb foods such as bread, candy, pancake syrup, tortilla chips and margarita mixes. decide their fate. buzz PHOTOS | CHRISTINE LITAS

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MARCH 25 - 31, 2004 | “THAT RUG REALLY TIED THE ROOM TOGETHER, DUDE.”

Movie News Compiled by Jason Cantone Angelina Jolie might adopt another child.

She reported she is looking to find a brother or sister for her son, Maddox. After being known for rough, violent S&M-style sex, keeping a vial of ex-husband Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck and taking part in a divorce that was coupled with two box office bombs, she might not be the most stable mother out there. However, there are no protests to her adopting again while stable, lesbian couples out there who would scoff at her gothic practices are refused a child. That just doesn’t seem to add up.

Jim Carrey made TV history by airing a trailer for his new movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind onto his bald head. Earlier, he wanted to make TV history while performing a silent interview. Unbeknownst to Carrey, however, he also made TV history for making the most desperate attempts to become a legitimate actor ever, after two Oscar snubs and the God-awful The Majestic derailed his chances.

Ben Affleck decided he would never make an action movie again after Paycheck bombed this winter. Obviously, the awfulness of Gigli has made him forget that Armageddon and Pearl Harbor were his two biggest successes while Gigli, Daddy and Them and Bounce were complete failures. Give him a year before he begs to make Daredevil 2.

Actress-turned-novelist Pamela Anderson has hired a ghost writer to help her with her first two novels. Now we’ll never know who the Nobel Prize for Literature really belongs to next year.

moviereview

BARBARIAN INVASIONS ★★★★

BY SYD SLOBODNIK | STAFF WRITER

D

enys Arcand’s The Barbarian Invasions has an odd title for such a delightful and sublime comedy about a man named Remy, a 60-yearold Canadian college history professor, who’s dying of terminal cancer and whose relatives and friends gather to celebrate his life in his remaining days. This film richly deserves its recent recognition as the Oscar-winning best foreign language film of 2003.

Writer/director Arcand’s plot has a rather simple narrative and stylistic quality. The story focuses on the dignity of the dying, philosophical issues about one’s ultimate value in life and the quest for reconciliation. Many of Arcand’s transitions are managed with a peaceful dissolve from a static image of tranquility.

The film begins when the ailing professor’s son, Sebastien, is called by his mother to his father’s bedside in an overcrowded Quebec hospital. Sebastien is a high-powered London-

dvdreview

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD ★★★

BY JOHN LOOS | STAFF WRITER

O

ften considered a landmark of the horror film genre, George A. Romero’s 1968 zombie romp Night of the Living Dead is still, after all this time, invariably shocking in its own simplistic, patient way. Voted #93 on the American Film Institute’s “100 Years 100 Thrills” list, the film has lost none of its dark elegance and unpredictable skittishness thanks to the near-pristine restoration presented on this DVD. Plot, throughout the film, is at best peripheral. It opens with a brother and sister, Jonny and Barbara (Judith O’Shea), visiting their father’s grave. Within minutes, the first meandering zombie kills Jonny and sends Barbara on a lengthy escape run that leads her to an empty, isolated country house. There she meets tough guy Ben (Duane Jones), a family of three and a young couple in love. Trapped inside, the group can do nothing but sit and wait for the growing zombie army to descend upon the house. At one point, in an unintentionally laugh-out-loud moment, the film tries to

based financial expert who, understandably, holds years of resentment over his dad’s philandering with a parade of mistresses, all of whom seem to have destroyed any form of normal family life for him.

Despite such feelings, Sebastien takes an overnight flight to Quebec and immediately seeks U.S. medical attention, more detailed second diagnoses—doubting the Canadian public health system’s care—and quickly seeks various illegal means of pain relief for his father.

In a stream of neverending well-wishers, Remy is soon joined in his hospital room, and later a country home, by his understanding exwife, various old friends and colleagues, a few former lovers and even ex-students as they engage in lively storytelling and relive shared memories over much food and wine.

Along the way, Arcand’s Oscar-nominated screenplay takes political and philosophical jabs at the Canadian health service, American nationalism, the intrusions of so-called “barbarian” cultures on civilized life—especially the Sept. 11 terrorists, and drug trafficking and how the wealthy circumvent drug laws. All this is filtered through other witty repartee about great works of literature, historical figures and intellectual “–isms”.

The somewhat haggard but jovial Remy Girard and the straight-laced Stephane Rosseau deliver standout performances as the lead characters, Remy and his son, Sebastien.

Arcand also reunites a half dozen other cast members of his 1986 film The Decline of the American Empire in a sparkling ensemble.

explain the phenomenon of the living dead as a result of radiation from a lost satellite. Granted, the walking dead is an impractical notion on its own, but this cockamamie attempt at its justification only serves to belittle the earnest sense of terror the film tries to create.

Needless plot points aside, what makes the film so notable is its staunchly unsentimental and cold approach to its characters. While Ben seems to hold the movie for the majority of the time, there’s no clear-cut protagonist and thus no obvious pecking order to the group. Even the young daughter of the family isn’t sentimentalized. On the contrary, she helps creates the film’s most terrifying moment.

It’s important to remember that, at 36 years old, this film is old enough to run for president.

Technically, it can look like a student film at times. The editing is choppy, the zombies themselves look more like dusty businessmen with nasty hangovers than the decaying undead, and some of the shots of zombies encroaching on the house are so obvious, you can tell exactly when Romero yelled, “Action!”. Some of the acting is also of a low quality. While it’s mean to name names, this was probably O’Shea’s only film role for a reason.

But, overcoming all of this is the unrelenting passion Romero has for scaring his audience and his fantastic patience to let suspense build naturally, which is something so few horror films of today do. By the end, there is feeling that this film is more than just a simple zombie movie. The real-time pacing alone makes this film a landmark that, like 1967’s Psycho and

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MIRAMAX

3/23/04

BARBARIAN INVASIONS | R. GIRARD & M. CROZE Together, they create a similar and older version of the delightful, life-long comrades from Mike Newell’s Four Weddings and a Funeral—humorous pals who have a magical connection of shared experience.

Unlike most standard Hollywood films, The Barbarian Invasions, with its touching and mature awareness, uniquely captures many aspects of assessing one’s life and facing one’s demise with wisdom and peaceful self-conviction.

SCREEN REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ No stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unwatchable

IMAGE 10

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NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD | ZOMBIE 1978’s Halloween, push it into the upper echelon of the horror film genre. In short, it’s a true original.

As a DVD, the film is beautifully preserved, but there are few extras to be had on the disc.

Fortunately, most are worth exploring. There are two audio commentaries that include thoughts from Romero, O’Shea and other actors, an original theatrical trailer and a parody called Night of the Living Bread, which is especially appreciable immediately after viewing the movie. Then, for no particular reason, there are a handful of basic TV commercials from the late ‘60s that have no pertinence to the film in any way. They are interesting to watch, but obviously stuck on the disc in a vain attempt to hide its bare-bones options.

However, the most important aspect of any classic film transferred to DVD is the quality of its restoration, and this disc pulls through wonderfully, which should be enough to satisfy any serious horror buff or nostalgic baby boomer.

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“DONNIE, YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!� | MARCH 25 - 31, 2004

Drive-thru Reviews

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CLUB DREAD ★★★ JAY CHANDRASEKHAR AND BILL PAXTON Taking this film seriously would be a crime, and those who do are sure to hate it. With films such as Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ bringing suffering and torture to millions of people, a simple, dumb film like Club Dread should be in theaters to counter some of that anguish.

Club Dread won’t make you more religious and it won’t make you a better person, but you also won’t have to suffer for some movie entertainment. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy DIRTY DANCING: HAVANA NIGHTS ★ DIEGO LUNA AND ROMOLA GARAI To call Havana Nights an expected disappointment is almost an understatement. Diego Luna, who plays the dashing Javier, does not nearly have the onscreen magnetism of a Patrick Swayze to accurately portray his character. Romola Garai as Katy does not submit a very impressive performance. These mediocre performances and a rehashed plot make a trip to Havana Nights a trip to forget. (Dan Nosek) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy EUROTRIP ★★★ MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG AND JACOB PITTS Movies such as Old School and Road Trip aren’t judged by their quality, but by how much laughter comes from the inane situations. With this qualification for excellence, Eurotrip does a surprising job at infusing the year’s raunchiest sex comedy with enough funny moments that you won’t mind pulling out a passport and spending seven dollars to go see it. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy HIDALGO ★★ VIGGO MORTENSEN AND OMAR SHARIF In past successful movies of the adventure genre, violent situations are usually modest and understated. To eliminate danger from other riders and mercenaries who wish harm upon him, Mortensen’s character does genocide on his Arabian counterparts. Maybe Viggo can find his next job working with Gibson in his upcoming sequel, The Passion of the Rodney King. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy MONSTER ★★★★ CHARLIZE THERON AND CHRISTINA RICCI While the narrative slows at some points, it is never dull or repetitive. This rough, unsettling story is transfixing in its gutsy lack of style. It’s as dirty as the side of a highway and as brutal as a death sentence, and the film soars from its distinctively unsentimental objectivity. It’s a shame Jenkins felt the need to use a voiceover, which only repeats the electrifying intensity evident in Theron’s face.

The movie isn’t perfect, but Theron’s brave, breakout performance is monstrous. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy RETURN OF THE KING ★★★★ ELIJAH WOOD AND IAN MCKELLAN The Return of the King won the grand prize on Oscar night. Thankfully so, because anything short of best director victory for Peter Jackson would have been an unforgivable injustice. He raised the bar for fantasy and redefined themes of friendship, honor and courage on a grippingly grand and poignantly intimate scale. Besides its structural limitations, The Return of the King is more than a rousing ending to a celebrated legend; it’s a battle cry for epic filmmaking. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST ★★★ JAMES CAVIEZEL AND MONICA BELLUCCI The film occasionally intersects the persecution with placid shots of Jesus spreading his peaceful message and random moments of his quietly pious life. These are few

and far between, however, and a half-hearted effort by Gibson and co-writer Benedict Fitzgerald to break up the monotony of innumerable slow-motion collapses and redundant reaction shots of teary-eyed women. This is a monumental, historical accomplishment, made with intense passion, courage and brains, even if its mind focuses more on shallow malevolence than spiritual catharsis. What it needs is a heart. (Matt Pais) Now Showing at Beverly and Savoy STARSKY & HUTCH ★★★ BEN STILLER AND OWEN WILSON Todd Phillips does all he can to recreate Starsky & Hutch as high-energy ‘70s nostalgia with a little 21st century gloss, it plays equally as traditional adaptation and self-referential modernization. Some scenes will truly take you back to the days of disco-dancing detectives, but the men behind Starsky & Hutch have too much fun mocking the original in a present-day context to ever really kick it old school. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy TWISTED ★ ASHLEY JUDD AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON One thing is for certain about Twisted: its faults are magnified by the cast’s and crew’s fame. If this had been an independent film circulated through the Sunset or Toronto film festivals, the inevitable notoriety which it will gain for being “the worst film of the century� would certainly not be there. (Dan Maloney) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT ★★ RAY RAMANO AND GENE HACKMAN It may be an election year, but Welcome to Mooseport doesn’t offer much in the realm of real-life commentary. In fact, the Democratic Cole continually compares his post-presidency reputation and financial status to Bill Clinton’s. But while Americans might fantasize about a different man having succeeded Clinton, moviegoers certainly don’t fantasize about such superficial slop that’s little more than an unwelcome, Capitol anthill. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy AGENT CODY BANKS 2: DESTINATION LONDON ★★ FRANKIE MUNIZ AND ANTHONY ANDERSON Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London uses the premise of the original boy-turned-secret-agent formula to recapitilize on the success of the first installment.

Unfortunately, this film falls into the all-to-familiar stereotype of the many spy kids films out in the past year, such as Catch That Kid and Spy Kids 3, but it’s not without its charm either. (Janelle Greenwood) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy SECRET WINDOW ★★★ JOHNNY DEPP AND MARIA BELLO This movie should not be classified as a “thriller� or “dramatic thriller� and definitely not “horror,� but rather “semi-thriller-that-tries-to-trick-you-but-ends-upbeing-predictable,� but the movie was still entertaining.

If you’re looking for a psychological thriller based on a Stephen King book, go rent The Shining. If you’re looking for a “poor-man’s-thriller� that gets upgraded to a “middle-class-thriller� because of Depp’s acting, check out Secret Window. (Art Mitchell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

SPARTAN ★★★★ VAL KILMER AND WILLIAM H. MACY The film’s surprising twists and conspiracy-laden climax may turn off some moviegoers, but most will find Spartan to be one of the most satisfying thrillers in recent memory. With this and Mamet’s recent film successes, the 1998 puzzler Spanish Prisoner and the comical State and Main from 2000, he rises to the level of one of America’s most unique and interesting filmmakers. (Syd Slobodnik) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy TAKING LIVES ★★ ANGELINA JOLIE AND ETHAN HAWKE Jolie’s acting is as flat and boring as a drive down I-57 at night, but the film’s major fault is that it rarely attempts to be original. When Jolie eventually sacrifices all FBI integrity to have sex surrounded by pictures of corpses, it still won’t keep viewers intrigued. With the exception of one good thrill, Taking Lives has nothing to contribute to the serial killer genre. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

OPENING THIS WEEKEND THE LADYKILLERS TOM HANKS AND MARLON WAYANS The Coen brothers’ latest film is a remake of a 1955 comedy surrounding one professor’s (Hanks) master plan for robbing a casino. Under the guise of musicians, they hold headquarters in the house of a “sweet old lady� who, they soon discover, isn’t so sweet. Hilarity ensues. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend JERSEY GIRL ★★★ BEN AFFLECK AND LIV TYLER Jersey Girl represents a departure from the usual work of director Kevin Smith. Some of the more insolent comments and character jokes reveal touches of Smith’s usual craft, but overall, the film is different than anything else he has directed. This is the kind of film many people thought he couldn’t make, a soulful, emotional, and most importantly, serious look at life. Jersey Girl still has the right mix of comedy and drama, accentuated with some fine acting from some big names, to make everyone forget about Gigli. (John Piatek) Opening this weekend NEVER DIE ALONE DMX AND DAVID ARQUETTE This soon-to-be epic of a film tells the story of a drug kingpin’s return to his home and the turf war it starts. A strange coupling of DMX and Arquette headline this starstudded film, which should make it just barely watchable, though there should be some quality action scenes, I’m sure. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend SCOOBY DOO 2: MONSTERS UNLEASHED SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR AND MATHEW LILLARD Apparently one unsuccessful Scooby Doo film wasn’t enough. In attempt to take over “Coolsville Jinkies,� a masked villain unleashes terrible monsters that The Mystery, Inc. gang must stop. Scares, bad acting, and hilarity are sure to ensue. (Paul Wagner) Opening this weekend

BOARDMAN’S ART THEATRE 1-800-BEST PLACE (800-237-8752) or 1-217-355-0068 eTickets/Reservations and info. at www.BoardmansTheatres.com Exclusive HPS-4000 & SDDS/DTS/DD Presentations

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The Barbarian Invasions R

Academy Award Winner for Best Foreign Language Feature! “Four Stars�...Roger Ebert SHOWTIMES: Daily at 5:15PM, 7:30PM, 9:45PM Early matinees Sat/Sun at 1:00PM & 3:00PM

Calendar Girls PG-13

Starring Helen Mirren & Julie Walters. “Two Thumbs Up!...� –Ebert & Roeper.

SHOWTIMES: Nightly at 7:00PM matinees Sat/Sun at 2:00PM

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NEVER DIE ALONE (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:10 9:20 50 FIRST DATES (PG–13) Fri. 11:30 & Sat. 1:00 3:00 5:10 7:20 9:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:10 11:40 9:20 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:10 7:20 9:30 SCOOBY-DOO 2 (PG) Fri. & Sat. 12:30 1:00 2:50 3:10 5:00 CODY BANKS 2 (PG) Fri. 5:20 7:20 7:40 9:30 9:50 11:30 Thu. 12:30 2:50 5:10 7:30 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 12:30 1:00 2:50 DAWN OF THE DEAD (R) Fri. 3:10 5:00 5:20 7:20 7:40 9:30 & Sat. 12:40 2:50 5:00 7:30 9:50 9:50 12:10 Sun. - Thu. 12:40 2:50 5:00 SECRET WINDOW (PG–13) 7:30 9:50 Fri. - Thu. 1:15 3:20 5:30 7:40 10:00 ETERNAL SUNSHINE (R) Fri. Thu. 12:40 3:00 5:20 7:40 10:00 STARSKY & HUTCH (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 12:40 3:00 5:20 7:40 HIDALGO (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 10:00 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:50 TAKING LIVES (R) Fri. & Sat. 12:50 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:50 12:10 JERSEY GIRL (PG–13) Fri. Sun. - Thu. 12:50 3:10 5:20 Thu. 12:20 2:50 5:10 7:30 10:00 7:30 9:50 BELLEVILLE (PG–13) Fri. & THE LADYKILLERS (R) Fri. Sat. 1:00 3:00 5:20 7:20 9:20 Thu. 12:30 2:50 5:10 7:40 10:00 11:20 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:20 7:20 PASSION OF CHRIST (R) Fri. 9:20 Thu. 1:15 2:00 4:15 5:00 7:00 8:00 9:45 RETURN OF THE KING (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 12:20 4:20 8:20 TWISTED (R) Fri. - Thu. 9:50 MYSTIC RIVER (R) Fri. & Mon. - Thu. 12:50 4:00 7:00 9:50 PRINCE & ME (PG) Sat. 7:00 Sun. 1:00 Sat. 12:50 4:00 9:50 Sun. 4:00 7:00 9:50

Showtimes for 3/26 thru 4/1

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MARCH25-31, 2004 | WAY TO GO CAROL, WAY TO GO!

FIRST THING’S FIRST...

You, me and Dick Cheney makes three

BY MICHAEL COULTER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I

f a friend of mine had been charged with a serious crime and I were a witness in the court proceeding, I would lie my ass off. Don't get me wrong, I'd swear on the bible and act like I was doing my best, but I'd say whatever it took to help get my buddy off. I've just grown up believing you stand by your friends no matter what. Sure, I might burn in hell for lying, but seriously, let's be honest, it's not going to be the biggest reason I'll burn in hell, only one of many.

When I do get to hell, I bet I'll get to hang out with vice president Dick Cheney and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

They'll be guilty of doing roughly the same shit as me. Scalia has refused to remove himself from a case involving his good friend, Dick Cheney, insisting he doesn't have a conflict of interest. The case involves whether or not Cheney is required to release information about private meetings of Cheney's energy task force.

Wanna guess which way Scalia will rule?

Cheney is his buddy, that's for sure. I must admit I sort of dislike using Dick's last name, as his first name is a far better word to use to describe him. Regardless, they've been fast friends since they worked together in the Ford administration. You remember Gerald Ford, right. He was on the crooked ass Warren Commission and he also pardoned Nixon. Their friendship was forged in lies and cheating and things like that don't get better.

The Sierra Club asked Scalia to recuse himself from the case. Their primary concern was over a hunting and fishing trip Scalia and Cheney took to Louisiana in the spring of 2003. My guess is the two of them were hunting for scotch and fishing for some wild ass Cajun hookers. You know those conservative party their asses off when they get out of town.

They took a government jet down there, of course, and they were the guests of Wallace Carline, who owns an oil rig services firm.

Let's see, a judge who's ruling on Cheney's energy task force and they're partying with an oil baron. That seems pretty up and up.

Scalia points out the trip "was not an intimate setting." I'm not sure what he considers "not an intimate setting," but I'm assuming it means he only allowed Cheney to touch his breast over his shirt and they only kissed without tongues.

Whatever, it's just wrong anyway you look

at it. I would think that if there was even a semblance of impropriety an honest judge would recuse himself. Granted, I would be the last person to accuse Antonin Scalia of being even remotely honest, but still, have all of these cheating bastards gotten to the point where they don't even try to appear decent?

It's a special kind of arrogance when a crooked bastard doesn't even care if you know he's crooked.

In fact, it's almost like he's rubbing America's nose in it. He wasn't even required to explain his decision to hear the case, but he did anyway in a 21 page memo.

He apparently not only likes to hear himself talk, but also enjoys watching himself write.

He believes he can still make a fair ruling. I believe this to mean he feels his ruling will be just as self serving as it would have been if he had not gone hunting with the vice president.

He even feels the trip wasn't that big of a deal. "My recusal is required if ... my impartiality might reasonably be questioned," he said. "Why would that result follow from my being in a sizable group of persons, in a hunting camp with the vice president, where I never hunted with him in the same blind or had other opportunity for private conversation?" Um, let see, because he asks you to go and you rode the same fucking plane down there. Did you bitches not talk on the plane ride down? Or maybe because you stayed at the home of someone with in the oil industry.

My favorite quote about the whole deal is this. "If it is reasonable to think that a Supreme Court justice can be bought so cheap, the nation is in deeper trouble than I had imagined," Scalia wrote. I agree with at least part of that. I think the nation is in deeper trouble than he imagines and I also think he's part of the reason it's in trouble. As far as a justice being bought so cheap, I think we all know a whore's rate usually goes down as they get older.

The Bush/Cheney conservative Washington is beginning to remind me of a mindless summer Hollywood blockbuster movie. It's pretty predictable and simple and you know what's going to happen every step of the way. The villains act like villains and by the end of it, you walk away disturbingly entertained and feeling wholly cheated. At least the movie only lasts a couple of hours. I just hope the arrogance George/Dick doesn't last another four years.

Michael Coulter is a videographer at Parkland College. He writes a weekly e-mail column, “This Sporting Life� and has hosted several local comedy shows.

News of the weird Bright Ideas

Recurring Themes

Mile High Outfitters, a backcountry expedition organizer in Challis, Idaho, has petitioned the U.S. Forest Service for permission to install three commercial, recreational hot tubs smack in the middle of an unspoiled wilderness area, and the service is now considering the proposal (the public comment period having ended early this month).

Each tub would require 1,250 gallons of water, heated by wood-burning stove, replenished every three days in-season, even though motorized vehicles to bring the water in are not now permitted.

A suspected prostitute became the latest police detainee to commandeer a patrol car and drive it away after twisting her body to move her cuffed hands from behind her to the front of her (all in a briefer time than it took officers to walk around the outside the car) (Kensington, Pa., February). And a Harrods Estates broker announced that he had sold a private, one-car parking space in the tony Knightsbridge section of London for the equivalent of US$187,500.

Lead Story Adding to the Disney-fanatic adults who have appeared in News of the Weird is George Reiger of Bethlehem, Pa., who has now been tattooed with Disney-related images 1,600 times, adding about one per week. Reiger said he spends $50,000 a year on his Disney habit, owns 19,000 items of memorabilia, and has fitted his house with Disney touches. In February, Reuters news service asked his opinion of chairman Michael Eisner and of potential Disney owner Comcast Corp., both of which Reiger denounced as indifferent to the original Disney magic. "A lot of people ask me," Reiger said, "if I got (a tattoo of Eisner), where would I put it?"

Least Competant Criminals At his trial in November for stealing the equivalent of US$150,000 worth of jewelry from a house, Daniel Dady, 20, offered the defense of lack of motive, in that he had just inherited the equivalent of US$30,000 and did not need more. The jury found him guilty anyway, and at his sentencing in January, Judge Peter Jacobs not only sentenced him to 4 1/2 years in detention but also ordered him to hand over the inheritance to his victim as partial restitution (an inheritance the judge would not have known about had Dady not spoken up in November).

Copyright Chuck Shepard Distrubted by Universal Press Syndicate

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I LOVE GOING INTO TOWN, EVEN IF IT’S ONLY FOR AN HOUR | MARCH 25-31, 2004 buzz

BY KATIE RICHARDSON | ARTS EDITOR

The Story

4 Carbohydrates - worth their weight?

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n “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” Jim Carrey’s character attempts to erase the memory of his ex-girlfriend in order to get over the pain of losing her. This action raises a pretty standard but still mind boggling philosophical question, “Should one attempt to forget parts of one’s past that once brought one happiness if a considerable degree of sadness is also attached to those memories?”

The pragmatic answer is, “Of course not.

Sadness and happiness are irrevocably intertwined. The bitter and the sweet is what gives width and breadth to life.”

Of course this is probably true, but in our sadder moments there is a considerable degree of bullshit attached to this reply. Intense sadness, arising as a result of a breakup, or a death, or some other loss, seems like it will last forever. Happiness, on the other hand, seems fleeting even when we are in the midst of the most elative moment. Moreover, when it leaves, that other more powerful emotion takes it place.

And then we start wearing big gray sweaters, listening to sad songs, and eating gallons of ice cream topped with pounds of chocolate candy and Cool whip. This lovely lit-

From the Atkins diet to the new Subway and T.G.I. Fridays low carbohydrate meals, the Bacardi and Diet Cola ads and now the new lowcarb shop in Champaign...

Arts 7 The Permanent Human Artwork Vivid purple flames painted on the wall, surround a room where a nervous girl gazes at her foot that is about to be painted permantently...

Music 9 Let the good times roll with karaoke Friday night – first night of Spring Break. Somewhere out there are literally thousands of students...

Calendar 12 Opening Bands Showcase This night of local music brings together three rock bands that have each cut their own niche...

Film

MARCH 25-31, 2004 | MORE LIKE SPRING BROKE!

tle loss of control is why some of us avoid happiness altogether. We know that at the end of the trip down the lighted corridor, the dark closet waits.

But, hey, the dark closet serves a purpose too. For instance, melancholy is marketable.

Teenagers happily shell out millions for dark despondent music. Poets wear their hearts and their tears on their sleeves, and we congratulate them for channeling the hidden depths of humanity. Celebrities write autobiographies, playing up the painful obstacles they’ve overcome to get where they are. And we call them heroes.

If sadness was that bad, we wouldn’t be able to make a profit out of it. Granted, commercialism certainly has power, but it doesn’t matter how creative the ad campaign to sell pickled broccoli is, nobody is going to buy it because it really doesn’t have much appeal.

People naturally relate to sadness, though.

And we yearn for it because feeling something, even if it is terrible is better than felling nothing at all. Isn’t that what the Nine Inch Nailes song, “Hurt” is all about?

So why not embrace sadness, at least it gives some shade of color to life (even if it is puce), and maybe someday you can make a movie out of it.

-K.R.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): For months now, you’ve been cultivating a more mature relationship with obstacles.

You’ve begun to see them less as punishments doled out by an unfair universe and more as interesting, growthinducing challenges provided by a generous universe. If you do nothing else but master this perspective in the next eight months, I’ll declare 2004 a success. Are you ready for the next big breakthrough in your noble struggle to refine how you struggle?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):“Bolivia has no ocean, but it has admirals done up like Lord Nelson,” writes Eduardo Galeano in *The Book of Embraces.* “Lima, Peru has no rain, but it has peaked roofs with gutters. In Managua, Nicaragua, one of the hottest cities in the world, there are mansions flaunting magnificent fireplaces.” Are there any anomalies like these in your world, Taurus? Do you have tools for jobs you never do? Luxuries you don’t use?

Elaborate structures that have no purpose? If so, it’s time to either rethink your relationship to them or else phase them out.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you’re willing, life will soon offer you not just a fleeting glimpse but a penetrating gaze at what has been concealed beneath the surface.

You’ll be invited to shed your preconceptions and come face-to-face with hidden agendas, missing links, and fertile secrets. If you’d rather not accept life’s overture to strip away pretenses, please forget you ever read this horoscope. To retain it in your memory would interfere with your enjoyment of the pretty packaging that veils the slightly disturbing, totally invigorating contents inside.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): An entrepreneur approached me with a proposal.“Your work should be getting out to a bigger audience. The masses are starving for the message you’re putting out. That’s why you need me.

With my marketing machine, your name could become as recognizable as Deepak Chopra’s. Let’s build an entertainment conglomerate and hawk a hundred Rob Brezsnystyle products.”“Nah,” I said.“People come to me seeking sanctuary from hype. They know I won’t smack them upside the head with relentless sales pitches.” I urge you to adopt a similar attitude in the coming week, Capricorn.

Let everyone relax in your presence, knowing they won’t be hustled, cajoled, or manipulated. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20Feb. 18): The Golden Rule is a decent ethical principle, but it could be even better.“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” presumes that others like what you like. But that’s laughably naive and potentially a big mistake. There are many things you would like to have done unto you that others would either despise or be bored by.

Here’s a new, improved formulation, which we’ll call the Platinum Rule: *Do unto others as they would like to have you do unto them.* Of course these are always powerful words to live by, Aquarius, but especially now. It’s time to take your integrity to the next level.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your trust was violated in the past, and you still feel the wound. You keep it in the background of your awareness, fascinated with the way it never really heals. Though I sympathize, I want you to know that it’s time to move on. Your horrified disbelief about having been treated so badly is close to becoming just another bad habit. Your instinct for self- protection is threatening to devolve into indulgent self-pity. What should you do? The first thing is to forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you. The second step is to restore your trust in yourself.

Third, find a way to feel gratitude for those who abused your trust. Yes, you heard me right: Be thankful for all they taught you about how to become yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): An image of the Virgin Mary materialized on the window of a home in Ohio. That, at least, is what an imaginative neighbor believed, though the occupants themselves were apathetic. But the neighbor spread the word, and soon pilgrims were coming from afar to be in the presence of the miracle. A blind woman regained her sight; a man in a wheelchair walked for the first time in eight years; a six-year- old child with lifethreatening asthma breathed freely again. Then the maid came. It was her regular day to work. The homeowners neglected to tell her not to clean the special window, and she did. The blessed image disappeared and the crowd dispersed. Moral of the story, Scorpio: The magic that comes your way this week might be a bit messy — indeed, it might even rise out of a mess. Don’t clean it up.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): When he first invented the printing press in the fifteenth century, Johannes Gutenberg used it to fashion frivolous little things like sets of playing cards.

Only later did he put it to work mass-producing books, turning it into a revolutionary tool for disseminating information. I foresee a similar evolution for you in the coming weeks, Leo. In the early going, you’ll employ a wonderful

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Evangelical Christian TV personality Pat Robertson says God told him that George W. Bush will win the U.S. presidential election in a landslide. That’s odd, because God told me the exact opposite: Bush will be out of office and sitting on the board of Halliburton by February, 2005. To my knowledge, Robertson has not yet commented on the upcoming

ACROSS 1 Signifies respect and sadness

56 Playground activity

21 Green stretch in Grenoble

57 Buying guides?

22 Post-Passover period

16 Slipped PHOTO | CARRIE MILEWSKI

Editor in chief Marissa Monson Art Directors Meaghan Dee & Carol Mudra Copy Chief Chris Ryan Music Jacob Dittmer Art Katie Richardson Film Paul Wagner Community Emily Wahlheim Calendar Maggie Dunphy Photography Editor Christine Litas Calendar Coordinators Lauren Smith, Cassie Conner, Erin Scottberg Photography Christine Litas, Roderick Gedey Copy Editors Chris Ryan Designers Glenn Cochen, Chris Depa, Adam Obendorf, Carol Mudra Production Manager Theon Smith Sales Manager Lindsey Benton Marketing/Distribution Melissa Schleicher, Maria Erickson Publisher Mary Cory

binge of intelligent fun and righteous pleasure that astrologers are predicting for you Sagittarians. My guess, though, is that *his* God wouldn’t approve. My God, on the other hand, predicts that you will generate good karma as you have a sweet, boisterous time.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Contrary to the assumptions of misinformed “skeptics,” real astrology has nothing to do with the stars, except for one star: our sun. The 12 signs of the zodiac don’t correspond to constellations, but demarcate symbolic phases of the cyclic relationship between the sun and Earth. Here’s another correction of one of the skeptics’ many misunderstandings: Astrology is an art, not a science. While it does have a logical coherency and can be of great use in understanding the mystery of our lives, it’s not a precise body of facts based on repeatable experiments. It’s a mythic language that trains our imaginations to be aware of the links between our inner world and the outer world. Now, Pisces, take inspiration from my words as you fight back against those who judge and criticize you even though they don’t understand you.

✍ HOMEWORK:

Rob Brezsny's Free Will ☎ Astrology

What do you need to be rescued from?

Whom would you prefer to perform the rescue?

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE ANSEWERS PG 13

You’ve got to feel a little sorry for Charlie Kaufman’s psychiatrist – that is, assuming he’s had the since to consult one...

Volume 2, Number 13 COVER DESIGN | Carol Mudra

new resource in a relatively impractical way; or maybe a big, fresh idea will first appear in a trivial context. Not to worry, though. After the initial false starts and wasteful experiments, you will ultimately discover an elegant use for your innovation. Be patient.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Just as I have little patience for people who perpetuate ethnic stereotypes, I also cringe at astrologers who assume that all Libras are unflappably gracious, obsessed with relationships, and unable to make up their minds. While there is a grain of truth in those characterizations, they’re oppressive if regarded as immutable cosmic law. You need the freedom to complain now and then, especially when a situation has become so filled with deception and illusion that it’s hurting people.

To remain unflappably gracious in the face of a mess like that would be wrong. Likewise, on occasion you need to forget what’s best for a relationship and instead concentrate on what’s best for you. This is one of those times, Libra, when you have license to rebel against astrology’s stereotypes.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You will soon come across numerous clues about the Great Riddle of Your Life — you know, the brain-teasing, heart-stretching enigma that will take years for you to solve completely. So be alert!

Revelations may arrive from unexpected sources and inadvertent teachers. Even seemingly insignificant events may be pregnant with pithy hints. To cultivate the right kind of receptivity, be on the lookout not only for crisp answers, but also for ideas about how to formulate the Great Riddle more clearly. P.S.: Keep an image of a sphinx near you at all times. It’ll help supercharge your intuition.

20 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

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17 He said “In America, anybody can be president; that’s one of the risks you take”

DOWN 1 Like some rates 2 Treasure-trove 3 Margarita, e.g.

4 Itinerary info

18 Service groups

5 French silk

19 Minds

6 Without ___ (daringly)

20 Engineer in 2000 headlines

23 Mexican mint product 24 Writer who created the writer Gideon Zadok 25 Blinkers 26 Pete Sampras, notably

7 “Touched by an Angel” character

28 Alternative to Castilian

8 Bygone presidential inits.

29 Director Vittorio De ___

36 Place likely to have zoning restrictions

9 White poplar

30 Dabs

37 Factor in relationships between viruses 38 Mimics satisfactorily 39 Long and sharply pointed

11 Relatives 12 Sending a ___ the moon (1960’s goal)

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33 Glad family 34 Bristle 35 Eponymous code creator

13 Noted Adams

39 Uno and others

46 “Speaking personally …”

14 Baked breakfast item

47 Compound in fungicides

15 In danger of snapping

54 Pal of Pogo

20 Flipped

Puzzle by Frank Longo

42 Marathoner Waitz

45 “Lines on the Mermaid Tavern” poet 47 Some singers

40 “___ in Her Ear” (classic Georges Feydeau farce)

43 Like inferior computer graphics

48 Annual sports contests, for short

41 Coveted award

44 Prefix with molecular

49 1988 Belinda Carlisle hit “___ Weak”

50 Pasternak heroine 51 Pack ___ 52 Terse warning 53 Dyne-centimeters 55 Spanish article

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