Buzz Magazine: April 21, 2005 by Buzz Magazine

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I THINK ONE OF US MIGHT NEED A LITTLE NAP...

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FEATURE PHOTO • AUSTIN HAPPEL

Captured By Robots captivated crowds at Cowboy Monkey last Thursday.

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under the cover

INTRO

Editor’s Note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow News of the Weird • Chuck Shephard First Things First • Michael Coulter The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

AROUND TOWN School lack of funding • Emily Wahlheim q + a with Christine Wetzel Life in Hell • Matt Groening

LISTEN, HEAR Return of Blueprint • DJ Bozak Green St. Records • Erin Scottberg Of Montreal interview • Cornelia Boonman The Trail of Dead review • Imran Siddiquee Sound Ground #72 • Todd J. Hunter

MAIN EVENT Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Bob n’ Dave • Dave King Free Will Astrology

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT Women artists at Verde • Brian Warmoth Artist’s Corner with Katie Jacobsen (Th)ink • Keef Knight

THE SILVER SCREEN Found Footage Festival • Randy Ma Loos Ends • John Loos Photo Poll • The Amityville Horror The Amityville Horror review • Matt Pais Gunner Palace review • Tim Peters Movie time listings Short feature reviews • Paul Prikazsky Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson

1006 S. 3RD, C.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Employment 000

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

RATES: Billed rate: 35¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

Full Time

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AUTOMOBILES

310

1990 Toyota Supra, 5-speed, looks, runs, and drives great. $3200 obo. (630)362-1491.

Apartments

400

Technical (Copy) Editor Nonprofit, professional, scientific association seeks technical editor for monthly research journals. Candidates must have superior language skills, the ability to understand the conventions of primary scientific literature, and formal training or experience in English grammar and usage. Bachelor’s degree is required; master’s degree is preferred. Preference will be given to those with previous editing experience in an online environment, strong computer skills, and familiarity with the Internet and online publishing. Experience with databases (MS Access) and knowledge of XML are desirable. Duties will include editing scientific manuscripts electronically for style, grammar, and format; working with figures and tables; correcting and assembling issues; manuscript tracking; and miscellaneous publication tasks. Competitive salary and excellent benefits. TO apply, send a letter of interest, resume, and salary requirements to Technical Editor Search, FASS, 1111 N. Dunlap Ave., Savoy, IL 61874. No phone calls please. EOE. Deadline for application is May 6, 2005.

HELP WANTED

020

Part Time PAID INTERNSHIP Sales and Marketing positions available for the Off Campus Meal Plan. Submit resume to jobs@ocdn.com or for more information visit www.ocdn.com 2-5/hrs/wk

HELP WANTED

030

Full/Part Time

Illini Women’s Soccer Club Fall 2005 coach needed. Paid position. Call Allie 978-879-8107 or Lauren 847-341-5552 for more details.

Merchandise 200 FOR SALE

285

Pillow top queen size mattress set. 17 inches thick. Still in plastic. Cost $900, must sell $150. Call 217-3695235.

Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

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APARTMENTS

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

310

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. $320/month. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

503- 505- 508 E. White

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Jan 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

506 E. Stoughton, C

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626. BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

For August 2005. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Park Place Tower. 4 BR. 2.5 Baths. Balcony off every room. W/D included. Available August. 1 left! Call 328-3770.

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

NO BULL!

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease! Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living. 3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign. 3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!) 4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!) High-speed internet, water, and trash included! Laundry in building. NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

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Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

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HELP WANTED

DEADLINE:

CLASSIFIEDS

420

Furnished

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C.

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. John

Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4 For after hours showings, please call Chad, 202-8517. 604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court. Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

buzz weekly •

FOR ME THE INTERNET IS JUST YET ANOTHER WAY OF BEING REJECTED BY WOMEN.

APARTMENTS

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under

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APARTMENTS

420

Other Rentals 500

Furnished

602 E. Stoughton

HOUSES

510

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

207- 211 JOHN

Fall 2005 Prime Campus Location 2, 3 Bedrooms THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished

NEED A 1 BR!

Convenient 1 bedrooms near downtown Champaign now available. From $390. 508 W. Hill, C. 511 W. University, C. 515 W. Washington, C. These and other apartment locations also available for leases starting throughout the summer. 352-8540, p.m. 355-4608 www.faronproperties.com

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

ROOM & BOARD

540

Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

BIG RANCH!

Super nice 3BR/2 bath ranch house with oak floors, new W/D. 2 car garage. On Race St. near Windsor Rd. in Urbana. Close to Meadowbrook Park and Vet Med. PET FRIENDLY! Only $1295/month!

217-384-6930

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HOUSES

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

Things to Do 700

www.johnsmithproperties.com

CAMPUS EVENTS

✰ NICE AND NEW!!! $1180/month 4 Bedroom/ 2 Bathroom House Quiet Neighborhood 10 minutes from campus, Central A/C, Washer/Dryer, 2 Car Garage. Available Furnished or Unfurnished. Call Today ask for Justin: 217-621-2782 610 S. State St. Well maintained, beautiful, large, 4 5 bedroom home. 2 fireplaces, 2 bathrooms, 2 kitchens, hardwood floors, stained glass windows, basement, washer/dryer, screened-in porch, garage with heated workroom. $1500. 493-7952. 840-4299.

710

✰ DANCE 2XS URBANITE!!! April 30th at Canopy www.dance2xs.com for details.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

OPPORTUNITY Enjoys working in a high paced environment Enjoys working with others Great sales person Looking for a challenging and rewarding job that looks great on a resumé Detail oriented Here for Summer and Fall ‘’05 If this is you, then you should think about a job with the Daily Illini Classified Department. Stop by the office at 57 E. Green, Champaign for more information and an application, or call 337-8337. HAVE A GREAT DAY!

26 • b u z z w e e k l y

PARDON ME WHILE I HAVE A STRANGE INTERLUDE.

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YESSIR, YOU CAN BE POPE! JUST FILL OUT YOUR PAPLACATION AND WE’LL CALL YOU BACK IN A FEW WEEKS.

EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

A new pope was elected on

THE 2005 SUBARU IMPREZA RS

Tuesday. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany was elected by the College of Cardinals, and became Pope Benedict the XVI, the world’s 265th pope. A new pope was elected, and honestly, I don’t really care. The politics of the Catholic Church affect my life in no real way except that I watch thousands of Catholics, and non-Catholics for that matter, crowd into St. Peter’s square to mourn the death of their beloved Pope John Paul II, and wait around for two weeks for the new pope to be chosen. And that’s all fine and good, but Papal elections are only really fun in Angels and Demons, the far superior predecessor to The DaVinci Code. Now THAT was a Papal election: murders, deceit, mystery, discovery and the greatest speech ever. But that’s neither here nor there. I gave up on organized religion awhile ago. I didn’t quite give up on faith or a belief in some higher power, but there’s a lot of crap in many religious dogmas that just bugs me. I think my biggest beef is with the “Christian” idea that all non-Christians are damned. I can’t buy into the idea that the loving God Christians believe in will damn more than half of His world’s population. It just doesn’t make sense. I just watched Saved! the other day, and a few lines stuck out to me.The first was “I have to remember that every time Jesus shuts a door, he opens a window. Yeah, so we have something to jump out of.” That’s just funny.The other goes something like “I know not all religions are right, but they can’t all be wrong, can they?” And sometimes I wonder. Can they all be wrong? Is whatever power that is out there laughing her (yes, her) ass off at the world. You know, just chillin in a big ol’ easy chair, watching the Cubs (or Bears depending on the season) thinking,“Wow...they’re all WAY off.” Something to think about I guess. Anyway, there was a new pope elected.

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ALL WHEEL DRIVE

FIGHTING ILLINI

STADIUM CLEARANCE SALE

SATURDAY, APRIL 23 ? 9 am till Sold-Out Great West Hall — Memorial Stadium

ctice Gear iforms & Pra n U c ti n e th • Au t Room Sale • Equipmen ts, Jerseys, ckets, T-shir Ja is o n li Il • Nike ts & Sweatshir ise il Merchand ts, ta e R m iu d ta , Ha •S ale—T-shirts S e c n MORE ra a le C s, & MUCH y d o o H , ts Sweatshir

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Thank you for getting us here!

- Paul

Free Appetizer

(up to $4)

with purchase of 2 entrees

OFF LAR GEST SE LECTION OF ILLIN I MERCH ANDISE

Univers ity of Il linois Div Interco ision of llegiate Athletic s

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IT’S

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BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

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Cover Design • Mark Hauge Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Carol Mudra Copy Chief • Stacey Ivanic Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Brian Warmoth Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Susie An Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Adam Obendorf, Sue Janna Truscott, Glenn Cochon, Claire Napier, Hannah Bai, Brittany Bindrim Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner Photography • Sarah Krohn, Adriana D’Onofrio, Austin Happel Copy Editors • Jen Hubert, Nellie Waddell Staff Writers • Matt Pais, Randy Ma, John Loos, Imran Siddiquee, Todd J. Hunter, Paul Prikazsky Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Logan Moore, DJ Bozak Production Manager • Jazmyne Jones Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Rory Darnay, Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail:

buzz@readbuzz.com write:

57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call:

217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

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❧ Chef’s Signature Features ❧ Live Entertainment

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

PENNY SALE

Good at both store locations! Buy any guitar at list price and get a second one (of equal or lesser value) for

Saturday

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First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

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34 N. Vermillion St. in Danville http://www.danvilleheron.com 217.446.8330 My favorite overlooked film is from 1936, called “Things to Come,” a movie appropriate for today about perpetual war and the military industrial complex. -Tim Berthel Owner, The Heron I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

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The

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LEAD STORY Ivy League Blues: In March, a Princeton University graduate student in applied mathematics, Michael Lohman, was arrested, suspected by police of being the guy who has been assaulting Asian women on campus for weeks by snipping locks of their hair or by furtively doctoring their drinks with unspecified â&#x20AC;&#x153;bodily fluidsâ&#x20AC;? in the dining hall. And a week after that, in Rockport, Mass., a chaired professor of economics at Harvard, Martin Weitzman, was charged with larceny after a farmer said Weitzman has long been trespassing and hauling away manure for his own nearby farm, thus denying the farmer his market price of $35 per truckload.

THINGS PEOPLE BELIEVE â&#x20AC;&#x201D; (1) Mr. Mamadou Obotimbe Diabikile was shot by police and arrested after his unsuccessful attempt to rob the Mali Development Bank in Bamako, Mali, in March, in part hin-

chuck shepherd

dered by the nearly seven pounds of magic charms he was wearing to make himself invisible. (2) Musician Edna Chizema went on trial in March in Harare, Zimbabwe, for allegedly defrauding Ms. Magrate Mapfumo by convincing her to pay the equivalent of US$5,000 for Chizema to fly in four invisible mermaids (folkloric goddesses of revenge, according to the Shona people) from London to help recover Mapfumoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stolen car. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Kim Chan, 40, of a village in the Cambodian province of Kampot, announced in March that he had a cow that was heavenly possessed and could cure illnesses by exposure to its bodily fluids, but local official Khun Somnang immediately discounted the claim, saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We had a holy cow here a year and a half ago (and you) donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get two that close together.â&#x20AC;?

L I F E I M I TAT E S A R T â&#x20AC;&#x201D; According to a February report in the

Israeli daily Maâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ariv, Itzik Simkowitz is suing a pet shop owner in Beersheeba for selling him a sickly Galerita-type cockatoo (price: the equivalent of about US$2,000) that died shortly after Simkowitz got him home. As in a classic Monty Python sketch, the shop owner initially insisted that the parrot was merely lethargic and needed time to adjust to his new surroundings, but when the parrot (to use the Python dialogue) was shown to be â&#x20AC;&#x153;a late parrot,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;an ex-parrot,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;a stiff,â&#x20AC;? and to have â&#x20AC;&#x153;joined the choir invisible,â&#x20AC;? the shop owner still refused to return the money. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In the Stephen King novel, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christineâ&#x20AC;? was the name of the demonic car, but Christine Djordjevic of South Haven, Ind., is the owner of a car that started and drove off, unattended, in March and crashed into her neighborâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s home. Police concluded that the culprit was Djordjevicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s remote starter, which had been installed by the previous owner imprudently, in that, on stick-shift cars, it can work in gear.

POLICE BLOTTER

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â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Fred Simunovic was charged with armed robbery of a Key West, Fla., credit union, with â&#x20AC;&#x153;armedâ&#x20AC;? referring to the pitchfork he was waving (March). And a man fled after attempting to rob a shopkeeper in Central Park Plaza in Jacksonville, Ill., in January by first threatening her and then slapping her several times with a fly swatter (January). â&#x20AC;&#x201D; William Woodard, 39, suspected by police in the Trenton, N.J., area of more than 50 burglaries, was arrested in March, and authorities said they were confident they could match him to what had become one of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;signaturesâ&#x20AC;? of the crime spree: random splotches of excrement at several crime scenes. In the course of the arrest, a highly nervous Woodard failed to control his bowels, and police have submitted samples for DNA testing.

ADVENTURES IN OBNOXIOUSNESS Christopher Garcia, 46, of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, was turned down for unemployment benefits in March because an administrative judge found that he was properly fired by a convenience store for misconduct in that he would not stop â&#x20AC;&#x153;air drummingâ&#x20AC;? on duty (using real drumsticks), causing some customers to complain of feeling threatened. And in March in Rajahmundry, India (about 300 miles south of Hyderabad), officials ter med â&#x20AC;&#x153;resounding(ly) success(ful)â&#x20AC;? their tax-collection tactic of sending several teams of two drummers to stand outside the defaultersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; homes and pound their instruments until the debtors paid up.

T H E I M P O R TA N T T H I N G S I N L I F E Tony Young, 35, made the news in January in Flint, Mich., when he tried to stop the theft of his Mustang (â&#x20AC;&#x153;my pride and joyâ&#x20AC;?) by grabbing the spoiler and hanging on for 20 minutes as the thief drove through Flint and on two interstate highways at speeds up to 80 mph, trying to shake him off.Young still managed to call 911 on his cell phone and describe his route until police could join the chase, which ended when the driver fled on foot and was captured. (Two weeks later, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youngâ&#x20AC;? was arrested and charged with breaking into a home, and police discovered that his real name is Anthony Barry and that he has served two stretches in prison.)

CREME DE LA WEIRD Two groups of Aryan supremacists who fled Germany to establish utopias in South America were in the news recently, regarding their descendantsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; colonies in southern Chile (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Colonia Dignidadâ&#x20AC;?) and in Paraguay (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nueva Germaniaâ&#x20AC;?). Colonia leader Paul Schafer, 83, who reportedly commanded total obedience from his sect of 300 farmers (who remain, culturally and technologically, in the 1940s), was arrested in Argentina as a fugitive from charges of having sex with his campâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s children. And prominent California musiciancomposer David Woodard was reported by the San Francisco Chronicle in March to be carrying musical and electronic equipment to Paraguay to reinvigorate Nueva Germania as an â&#x20AC;&#x153;Aryan vacuum in the middle of the jungleâ&#x20AC;? as per composer Richard Wagnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vision of an aesthetic outpost of Germanic culture.

most fascinating part of Michael Tuckerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new documentary, Gunner Palace, is that at times it just shows people doing normal things, humans filling their lives with meaning through social interaction, artistic expression and leisurely fun.The twist is that the people are American soldiers and Iraqi civilians; their environment is post-Saddam Baghdad, May 2003. At the start of the film, Tucker reiterates that his footage is of â&#x20AC;&#x153;minor combat.â&#x20AC;? After all, he reminds us, Bush had just infamously said the â&#x20AC;&#x153;majorâ&#x20AC;? fighting was over. The expectant irony is delivered throughout as death steadily eliminates people from the movie, so soon after we have only met them. There is a cosmic coincidence running throughout this short work. Tucker stays with 2/3 Field Artillery, known as the â&#x20AC;&#x153;gunners.â&#x20AC;? The troops are garrisoned in Uday Husseinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s opulent, bombed-out palace. Complete with a stocked fishing pond, massive swimming pool, spanning arches and decadent furniture, the place says much about its occupiers. Despite this ironic war of freedom, the strong still hold this egregious fortress; the rulers of the land still haunt its halls no matter ethnicity or nationality. What this film reveals, which cannot be found on World News Tonight or the front

shor t feature reviews

WASP

According to police in New York City, schoolteacher Wayne Brightly, 38, who was having trouble passing the stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s modest certification exam, paid a former mentor, Rubin Leitner, to take the test for him. Though Leitner is a learned man, he is also age 58, white, chubby and afflicted with the autismlike Aspergerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s syndrome, while Brightly is 38, black and thin. When Leitner (using the fake ID Brightly had supplied) scored high on the test, officials naturally wanted to interview Brightly to ask about his sudden brilliance, but Brightly decided to send Leitner to the meeting, instead, virtually assuring that the ruse would collapse.

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7:35 IN THE MORNING Among the more trivial Oscar categories, Best Short Feature is top dog. But where do these short features come from? They are spawned from creative minds who are unable (or just too unlucky) to locate a sufficient bank roll in funding a feature-length film. And when awards season rears its ugly head, the burgeoning filmmakers are given a few minutes in the limelight. Unfortunately, the limited amount of time prevents a story from achieving full vitality and promise. Instead, it often gives only a dull glimmer of what could have been a great film. But a true film connoisseur can appreciate these short blurbs, and today we honor these filmmakers for their almost great films. The Academy Award-winning short feature, Wasp, revolves around a single, working-class British mother and her three children. Trapped in her downtrodden world of poverty, our hero attempts to provide for her children while maintaining a s o u n d s

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page of The New York Times, are the more mundane routines of these people and their situation. For the soldiers, the quotidian has become things like arresting traitorous assassins, investigating an IED (improvised explosive device) or fighting it out in spontaneous street battles. Yet, there is still the relatable, as we are constantly shown these young men and women rapping and smiling, joking and thinking and just GUNNER PALACE â&#x20AC;˘ SOLDIERS being human. A disturbing side to this portrait is the Tucker makes his presence felt.Almost to the soldiersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; newfound duties. They are hardly degree of distraction, he narrates events, confighting major battles or operating heavy stantly places titles on the screen and even weapons, as they were trained. Instead, they brings the cameras to his apartment at one are seen as rifle-bearing, Kevlar-wearing point. If there were one apparent flaw, this police officers. Their duties bring them to would be it. Throughout the dialogue of Gunner homes and cafes to arrest suspects; they pick up drug-addicted kids from the streets, and Palace, the soldiers often state that people at they patrol constantly, reminding everyone home, even the viewers of this film, cannot, or will not, appreciate the gravity of the sitthat the United States is still there. The response from the Iraqis is varied, uation. It is as if, in the words of one gunner, displayed as resistance, support or ambiva- that we forget these people are not actors in lence.There are some truly beautiful images, a movie.We have been so habituated to the such as when soldiers and civilians shake same stories, sights and sounds of internahands, laugh together or at the very least, tional conflict that the whole issue is simplipeacefully coexist. While there is amorality fied to archetypes: the soldier, the religious on both sides, and no clear distinction of fanatic, the general, the helpful citizen and so right or wrong, this first-hand material is on.This movie, though it is another piece in useful because the audience can make its the media archive of Iraq War II, succeeds in that it paints these individuals in a more own judgment. Of course, it is naive to think a docu- human light. mentary is unbiased, and especially here,

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Oscar-nominated Shorts

PAUL PRIKAZSKY â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

LEAST COMPETENT PEOPLE

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relationship with her indolent boyfriend. Despite her decidedly skewed romantic interest, her foremost concern resides in her infant son, whom she saves from the titular wasp. Granted, there is not much of a story, but lack of character development and an open-ended finale leaves the viewer curious and unsatisfied. Why this short won the Oscar is a total mystery. Watching Wasp is like an excerpt from a British Jerry Springer show.The trials and tribulations of trailer trash fail to captivate the audience, and the circumstances seem like a trite manner of gaining sympathy. The short that was undoubtedly the most creative and entertaining was the Spanish entry, 7:35 in the Morning. As far as twisted romantic musicals go, this is far and away the most superior. The piece focuses on a young woman sitting down in her favorite breakfast nook when a stranger and other patrons begin serenading her. The song and dance number begins spiraling out of control when the patrons screw up the lyrics, and the stranger reveals that he has a round of dynamite strapped to his chest. Suffice it to say, the stranger is rejected and leaves the cafe only to be welcomed by the police gun-fire awaiting him outside. In all its simplicity, the story is simultaneously tragic and strikingly beautiful.The black and white cinematography harkens back to the minimalist style of early films and is underscored by the sadness of rejection. What an incredible fea-

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ture this would have made. These filmmakers need a chance. The film industry is inundated with unoriginal plots and characters. A closer look at the creativity behind some of the most revolutionary ideas portrayed on the silver screen would come as a welcome salvation from an otherwise inane cycle of juvenile films.

LOT LIKE LOVE (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 11:50 Sat. 11:10 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 KING'S RANSOM (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:10 3:15 5:20 7:25 9:30 11:45 Sat. 11:00 1:10 3:15 5:20 7:25 9:30 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:10 3:15 5:20 7:25 9:30 KUNG FU HUSTLE (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 3:15 5:25 7:40 9:50 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 3:15 5:25 7:40 9:50 INTERPRETER (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. - Thu. 1:15 4:05 7:05 10:00 BEAUTY SHOP (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:00 7:05 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:00 7:05 9:30 FEVER PITCH (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 GUESS WHO (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sat. 11:05 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:20 HITCH (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:20 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:20 7:00 9:30 HOSTAGE (R) Fri. & Sat. 9:40 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 9:40 MISS CONGEN. 2 (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 2:00 5:00 7:30 10:00 Sat. 11:20 2:00 5:00 7:30 10:00

ROBOTS (PG) Fri. & Sun. Thu. 1:20 3:25 5:25 7:25 Sat. 11:00 1:20 3:25 5:25 7:25 SAHARA (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) Fri. & Sat. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50 12:20 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50 SIN CITY (R) Fri. - Thu. 1:10 4:00 7:00 9:40 AMITYVILLE HORROR (R) Fri. 1:00 1:30 3:00 3:30 5:00 5:30 7:00 7:30 9:00 9:30 11:30 11:50 Sat. 11:00 11:30 1:00 1:30 3:00 3:30 5:00 5:30 7:00 7:30 9:00 9:30 11:30 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:30 3:00 3:30 5:00 5:30 7:00 7:30 9:00 9:30 PACIFIER (PG) Fri. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 9:40 12:00 Sat. 11:10 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 9:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 9:40 UPSIDE OF ANGER (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 STORY OF SAINT THĂ&#x2030;RĂ&#x2C6;SE (PG) Fri. 1:05 3:10 5:15 7:20 9:25 11:30 Sat. 11:00 1:05 3:10 5:15 7:20 9:25 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 3:10 5:15 7:20 9:25 MILLIONS (PG) Fri. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sat. 11:15 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 Showtimes for 4/22 thru 4/28

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MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

Let’s see here: You and

Reynolds’ troubled eyes create a legitimate sense of haunting dread.

your family have just moved into a massive house in Deer Park, Long Island, that only a year earlier was the site of a brutal massacre, in which the killer said evil voices in the house compelled him to do it. Your new husband is seeing ghosts and snapping at the kids, your dog won’t stop howling at the moon, and your daughter says she has become good friends with Jody, the girl who lives in her closet, and don’t you know it, shares the same name with one of the children that was murdered. Think it’s time to leave? In the by-the-numbers remake of The Amityville Horror, it takes Kathy Lutz (Melissa George) several weeks to make these connections and actually consider escaping her new house, which was a bargain only because of its bloody history. She and George (Van Wilder’s Ryan Reynolds) are initially hesitant to buy the old, spooky place, but he’s convinced that “Houses don’t kill people. People kill people.” Naturally, he’s dead wrong, and it’s not long before the house’s demons grab hold of the Lutz family.There are a few decent scares,

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THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

but mostly the film is just a mishmash of split-second ghost sightings, creaky doors and flickering thunderstorms that provide just enough blinking light to see your step-dad coming at you with a shotgun. It’s all based on the real killings that happened in the early ’70s, but director Andrew Douglas doesn’t really capture the time period outside of a couple Alice THE AMITYVILLE HORROR • MELISSA GEORGE Cooper and KISS posters in the eldest child Billy’s (Jesse James) room. tics like blood dripping throughout the house The scenery, filmed in Illinois and and the pitter-patter of ghosts scurrying across Wisconsin, is passable enough as an upstate wood floors, Reynolds’ troubled eyes create a New York country refuge, but like The legitimate sense of haunting dread as his house Amityville Horror itself, it is devoid of any- tells him to kill his family. The Amityville Horror doesn’t exactly break thing truly unique or persistently alarming. The script by Scott Kosar, who also wrote any new ground, but it is less laughable and the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw maintains a stronger, more consistent tone of Massacre, is low on surprises but does a creeping terror than the recent Hide and Seek decent job of capturing the uncomfortable or The Ring Two. Sure, it’s a bit hard to buy that process of George trying to get to know his the same girl that babysat for the family that wife’s kids. It’s been done thousands of times was murdered would take another job at the before but makes for an effective backdrop same house or that the refrigerator magnets for a tale about a man whose possessed house would be arranged to say “Home Sweet prevents him from being the father that his Home” just as the Lutz family is at their most stepchildren never really want him to be in distant and afraid. It’s all so very ironic but not as much as the fact that, like the poor family the first place. Surprisingly, Reynolds holds his own in that chooses to live in a mansion with evil in his first dramatic starring role, gradually its walls, this unnecessary remake of The inhabiting George’s transition from eager, Amityville Horror simply revisits something that amiable dad to disturbed, violent madman. was better left dead. Even as Douglas resorts to outdated scare tac-

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No, not sexually you pervs! Sheesh! I am frustrated with my inability to find a church where I feel like I fit in. I have visited over 15 churches now in the Champaign-Urbana area and still I can't seem to find a place for myself. Perhaps it's my fault. Perhaps I am so disillusioned with organized religion that I am internally rejecting every church before the collection plate hits the congregation. That's what my father says and while he's usually right on, I think we're just on different pages. I have a hard time with many of the ideologies that the more popular churches adhere to and as a result, find myself sitting at home on Sunday mornings contemplating two things: what to eat and what book of the Bible to read. Here is the problem: The Catholic church doesn't work for me because they seem too high and mighty. I Seth Fein is from like the idea of worshipUrbana. Seriously, ping Mary, and the does anyone want to whole purgatory thing start a church with seems cool because it him? He'll buy the first round. He can be upholds Revelation reached at 20:11-15. But they are sethfein@hotmail.com hung up on the idea that their way is the only way and that everyone else, Protestants included, have it all wrong. Thanks, but no thanks, I like to think for myself. The black gospel churches are rad in that they make even a silly white boy like me stand up, clap my hands and move. But I see an inherent problem in some of their more conservative beliefs. What's more is that often times, the pastor drives a Benz while a good part of the congregation struggles on welfare. Doesn't seem very Christ-like to me. Traditional Protestant churches are just that. Too traditional. I never feel like I fit in. Contemporary Christian churches don't do it for me mainly for two reasons: the “modern rock” music and their hypocritical stances on homosexuality. I mentioned this before in an earlier column, but please, for the love of God—put down the distortion pedals and the electronic drumkits. It makes your music sound bloated and cheesy. It's true. The New Testament

denounces homosexual practice but in the same sentence it also denounces idolatry, promiscuity, pride, avarice, blasphemy and many other acts that separate us from God. The Bible also denounces divorce in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, telling us that if we divorce that we shall only be reconciled with our original husband or wife. I'm absolutely positive that many churches are a little looser on this than on homosexuality. First of all, I don't really see being gay as being “sinful.” I can see how it doesn't make biological sense in that it is impossible to procreate that way, but aside from that, love is love and if a man loves another man, and they are committed to each other, then they should be accepted like the rest of us sinners—not ordered to abstain or repair themselves. We're all born a certain way, and no one way is more worthy than the next, at least, that's what the Bible says in Romans 3:23. I would like to believe that God will judge everyone accordingly and not add weight to people born into something. That makes the most sense. Are my Muslim friends destined to go to hell because their loving parents brought them up that way? My guess is no. But again, I will leave the judging for God and take my place in line as a worshipper. That's what the Bible asks of me, and that's what I want to do. But most churches aren't into that. Which is why I tried out United Church of Christ, the church that exclaims their policy of inclusion. And while I liked the sermon very much and the way that the pastor allowed the congregation to be participant, the music bored me to tears. Hymns are for old people. And I really like the new Beck album, so you can see my dilemma. I want a new kind of church. A church that upholds the teachings of Jesus above Paul's letters. A church that has a huge organ, a live drumset and a HUGE gospel choir. A church where EVERYONE who wants to receive the Word is welcome and not judged by who they are holding hands with. A church where all people can join hands, rejoice with good music, pray in whatever way makes them comfortable and with people who want to go out for drinks that night—not to get wasted but to have fun, and maybe catch a buzz.This is the church I want to attend. Who's with me?

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

A while back, some folks

in Bedfordshire, England, decided to pick the greatest words or sayings ever written so they could inscribe them on the walls of their airport.(Note: At least I think that’s right.The article I ripped from the paper got washed in the back pocket of my jeans before I began transcribing).They came up with the top three. I suppose all of them are fine, but what do they really mean? People often fall into the trap of believing something is true just because someone said it. The number one, “All you need is love,” is a very nice thought. It has a much nicer ring to it than my friend Jackson’s statement of “All you need is a good cigar,” but is it really true? I mean, food and water are also pretty important. Tobacco, liquor and baseball are also pretty high on the list. Sure, love’s great and all, but put me on a planet with just love, and I’m a bored man. A little hate can really spice up the day. At number two is “Unto thine own self be true.” See, I don’t get this at all. Maybe that crap plays in a perfect world, but I lie to myself every freaking day. In fact, if I didn’t lie to myself just a little bit each morning, I’d never leave the house. Number three was “Every journey begins with a first step.” I guess I’m okay with that one. It’s inspiring, and I suppose they can’t really say “Every journey begins with a first step … and that’s sort of an effort, so feel free to quit after that.” There were some other familiar phrases that didn’t make the top three but are quite popular. “Love thy neighbor as thy self.” Let me tell you kids, I’ve loved myself quite a bit (if you know what I’m saying), and I can’t think of any neighbor I’ve ever had who would find such a thing appropriate. “Knowledge is power.”This was probably true in the past, but take one look at the White House and it’s not holding true as of now. There’s plenty of power and virtually no knowledge at all, unless you count cluelessness as a bastard subset of knowledge. “Honesty is the best policy.” I gotta tell you, I’ve heard that so much and yet it sounds so ridiculous when you actually think about it. I’ve never found it to be true. Sure, it works fine if you’ve done something good. “Honestly, I was mowing my yard, so I went ahead and mowed yours also.” See,

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that’s just fine. However, saying “Honestly, I was tired of having sex with my wife, so I had sex with yours” is not a good policy. It is, however, a fine way to go about getting your ass kicked. This made me think about my dad. He had quite a few sayings himself and most of those actually sort of made sense ... in a very strange southern Illinois way. Now I’m sure the Coulter family will never have an airport but if we do, I’m carving each of these onto the walls of it. “Son, if you don’t use your head, you might as well Michael Coulter have two assholes.” I listed is a videographthis one first because it’s the er, comedian one I heard on a shockingly and can be regular basis. It was used to heard on WPGU point out the many stupid 107.1 Thursdays things I did or almost did. A at 5 with Ricker perfect example of this workin’ it. would be the winter I very nearly attempted to thaw out a frozen lock on the gas pump with a Bic lighter. Dad followed me out to the pump and stopped me right before I put an open flame to the gas pump, saying those words. He was, of course, correct. “Throbbing like a sick bird’s ass.” This was how he referred to the pain in his thumb after hitting it with a hammer. Initially, he would yell obscenities and then utter the phrase. “Son, my finger is throbbing like a sick bird’s ass.” Honestly, I have never seen a sick bird, nor taken the time to look at the ass, throbbing or otherwise, of any bird, but let’s face it, a saying that specific has to have some truth to it. “Nervous as a whore in church.”This was my favorite saying of all. It would be used to describe anyone who was about to get in trouble or was simply uncomfortable in a situation.“After Gibson hit that sonofabitch with that fastball, the batter was nervous as a whore in church the next time he got in the batter’s box.” I guess I enjoyed this saying so much because of the smile on dad’s face when he said it. Apparently, it was very amusing to him to see someone nervous, plus I think he just liked the way it sounded. It makes sense, I mean, a whore in church would probably be very nervous. I like my dad’s sayings much better than the other ones, but I’ll admit, it’s probably an acquired taste. I was going to send them over to England, but I figured they’d never use them. You have to admit though, it’d make the airport a hell of a lot more fun.

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s o u n d s

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There are still so many districts that do not have the money to buy textbooks or pay teachers. They can’t afford to provide the required years of math or social sciences needed to get their kids into a college like U of I.

Hey, it's the wizard!

A L L kids should have a

I hope you don't get nervous like last time.

chance at a college degree.

We wouldn't want you to...

wiz on someone! The Wizard

Ann Courter • Budget and Tax initiative director for Voices for Illinois Children

EMILY WAHLHEIM • STAFF WRITER

ver the past three years, Urbana School District 116 has cut over $3 million from its budget. Officials stress that the district has retained its core academic programs but the effects have been felt. Teaching, classroom aides and secretarial positions were eliminated. Funds for special programs, like English as a Second Language, were reduced. Parents were looked at to help offset some of the cuts, paying an increased enrollment fee and fees of $100 for their children to participate in sports and other extracurricular activities. Despite the cuts, Urbana still receives more money for education than most other districts in Illinois. In District 116, per pupil spending is $7,204. Across the state, this amount varies from a low of $4,300 to well over $18,000 in wealthier districts.This inequity in funding has both educators and legislators calling for reform, especially as a district’s funding is often linked to its academic success. House Bill 750, which is being debated in the General Assembly this session, is an attempt to ease these disparities by shifting the major responsibility for funding from local districts to the state. “Eighty to eighty-five percent of school districts are in deficit spending,” said Peggy Patten, an information specialist with Illinois Early Learning Project at the University of Illinois at UrbanaChampaign.“The public is saying that schools are failing kids. It is demoralizing to be an administrator or teacher right now.” The Illinois state constitution asserts that the primary

responsibility for funding education belongs to the state. However, that is not the case. Illinois provides an average of 37 percent of the funding districts need, far below the national average of 50 percent, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. In 116, the state provides for 33 percent. In many suburban districts the state provides for only four percent. “Education is supposed to be the great equalizer, but in Illinois it does not work like that,” said Gene Amberg, the superintendent of the Urbana School District.“There are tremendous disparities; equality is not the norm.” The lack of equality in funding from the state forces school districts to rely heavily on property taxes, which, because they are assessed locally, vary from district to district. This variance allows districts with higher property values, such as those in the Chicago suburbs, to give more funding to education. Areas with low property values, such as East St. Louis, do not collect as much in property taxes, so school districts there receive less funding. “The local funding of schools doesn’t work anymore,” said Urbana School Board member Mark Netter. “It’s geographic. It’s not the school’s fault, and it’s not the kid’s fault. The state can’t continue to weasel out of the placement of funds.” HB750 would require the state to assume 51 percent of the cost of funding education and would increase foundation level funding to $6,092. Foundation level funding sets the minimum funding level per pupil for the state. “We recognized a long time ago that we could not make all the districts equal—that’s a very socialist idea,” said State Senator Rick Winkel, R-Urbana. “With foundation level founding, we want to bring the bottom level of funding up and make sure there is adequate funding throughout the state.” If HB750 passes, education would rely less on property taxes and more on income taxes, which the state administers. It would increase the personal income tax of three percent, one of the lowest in the nation, to five percent. It increases corporate taxes to eight percent.To offset the increase in income taxes, HB750 proposes reducing property taxes by 20 percent. However, HB750 is more than a tax swap. Funding to schools would increase by $1.8 billion, according to the Center for Tax and Budget Accountability, which drafted the bill. “Relying on property taxes is unfair,” said Ralph Martire, the executive director of the Center for Tax and Budget Accountability.“It ties school funding directly to the wealth of the districts. HB750 is in the best interest of the taxpayers. From a capitalist view, it will distribute funds more fairly.” According to Martire, no school districts would lose funding under HB750; 96 percent of districts would receive more funding, and four percent would receive the same amount as they do now. The Center for Tax and Budget Accountability estimates that Urbana School District’s foundation level funding would increase by $4.2 million. Urbana would especially benefit from the tax swap because the University of Illinois covers 25 percent of the district and pays no taxes to the city. “We live in a place where one-third of the land is tax exempt,”

Amberg said. “The U of I and Carle are great, but neither pay property taxes. It’s a double whammy.” However, opponents of HB750 see it as nothing more than a tax increase. Mike Van Winkle, a policy analyst with the Illinois Policy Institute, said that because the property tax is structured as an abatement, the actual property tax rate itself will not go down. Property owners will continue to be assessed at their current tax rate. Instead of refunding individual taxpayers, the state will pay 20 percent of a taxpayer’s property directly to the community. “There will be a line on the property tax bill stating that Illinois is picking up 20 percent of the tab on property taxes that go to education,” Van Winkle said. “But, what happens in a couple of years when money in the state gets tight? It might be the first thing to go.” Martire said the property tax relief was structured as an abatement rather than an actual refund from the state so the taxpayers would not be taxed by the federal government on the refund. Van Winkle can point out other problems with the abatement, including the time it might take for the state to reimburse communities and the fact that in some districts, the income tax increase and property tax abatement do not offset one another exactly, resulting in a tax increase. Opponents of HB750 also have been critical of the increased taxes on services and pensions that it includes. HB750 would increase tax rates for services such as home cleaning and maintenance as well as tax retirees with pensions of more than $75,000. “Taxing those services places a greater burden on those with lower incomes,” said state Rep. Naomi Jakobsson, D-Urbana. “They are the ones we are trying to help.” Senate Bill 1484, sponsored by Winkel, takes that view into account. Winkel’s legislation is based on the same concept as HB750 but does not include a tax on services and would increase property-tax relief to 33.3 percent. Winkel’s legislation also includes more funding for higher education. HB750 allocates $315 million; SB1484 would give $500 million. Both bills include a safeguard to ensure the money is spent on education and not allocated elsewhere. The current funding for education is also protected to ensure it is not reallocated. However, there are doubts about SB1484’s ability to sustain itself with such a large property tax relief and without increasing taxes on services. Martire believes it does not raise enough money to make the state solvent and would require the state to cut everything else by 15 to 20 percent. “Winkel’s plan is dead on arrival,” Martire said. Winkel, however, said he sponsored SB1484 because HB750 may not pass in its current form. He believes it is tackling too much at once. “SB1484 focuses on education-funding reform, not fixing the tax structure or structural deficit in Illinois, he said. “Ralph wants to do it all at once, but you can do it with more than one bill. I am not trying to solve all the problems.”

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LOST AND FOUND Festival showcases amateur video, industrial accidents and “McClean” RANDY MA • STAFF WRITER

E PHOTOS COURTES Y OF NICK PRUE HER

PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

SCHOOL FUNDING FAILS TO MAKE THE GRADE

It’s more of a celebration of the stupidity of these home videos. -Nick Prueher

Buzz: Where did the inspiration to compile these tapes to make the Found Footage Film Festival come from and what were the festival’s origins? Nick Prueher: Well, when I was in high school I worked at McDonalds, and my friend was training to become a manager. He had to watch what was, like, 30 training videos.When he came back, he was saying it was all awful, but he said there was one video

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veryone hates their first job.You probably did, too.The pay is bad, the boss has a superiority complex, the manager takes too much pride in the job, and most of the work entails doing everything in your power to avoid actually talking to a costumer. Somehow, you end up spending more money than you’re actually making, and you constantly find yourself in debt. After three months, you can’t wait to tell off the management and walk out the doors to this crap job and never return. But before you can begin working, you’re stuck in the back room watching a training video. It’s at this moment that you realize those Troy McClure bits on The Simpsons weren’t satire;they had more truth than you could ever imagine.You sit for half an hour with your hands over your head thinking, “This is the most ridiculous and dumbest cooperate propaganda I’ve ever seen.” Wrong. Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett have compiled such videos for 12 years across this great nation showing the most ridiculous, awful and hilarious videos ever produced.The Found Footage Festival assembled 90 minutes of footage from discarded home videos of cooperate training. Prueher, the festival’s founder, phoned in from Milkhouse Studios in New York to talk to the Buzz about the festival and its growing popularity around the country.

that was truly head and shoulders worse than the rest. It was called Inside and Outside: Custodial Duties. So, he lent me a copy, and it was just ridiculous. There was this really dopey and overly perky crew trainee, and a woman explained to him there was clean and there was “McClean” and if you truly went above and beyond the call of duty you’ll see “McClean” come. It was ridiculous, and the video ended up becoming the cult thing, and I still own it to this day. Well, we started screening the video for people at my house and it was sort of a MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000) thing where we’d all make comments and such. Ever since then, we’ve been collecting videos everywhere. It became kind of a thing where we were entertaining guests, and we had to pull out certain tapes. A year and a half ago Joe Pickett and I began working on a documentary film based on a cassette tape we found at a truck stop years ago. It features terrible country songs found at truck stops.We quit our jobs to make this documentary, so we came out with this fest to fund it. I mean, why don’t we just dust these off and compile clips to make a comic show? One year ago this month, the fest premiered in New York,

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and the response was overwhelming.Basically,the format is we play 15 or so clips from the tapes a n d we h o s t , telling

where they were found, our own personal observations,and we had comedy bits based around the characters and events in the videos. Buzz: Is there a particular video that you are excited to show at this festival? Nick Prueher: I think the one that always brings down the house are these clips from this guy named Jack Redney. These are outtakes from a grilling two-week shoot on an industrial film on the Winnebago van of RVs.A crew member gave us the tape of a lot of these outtakes. Apparently, the set was hot and uncomfortable, and the whole crew was just having a terrible time. But they realized the host of these videos had a really short fuse. So they just decided to keep the tape rolling in the mist of the chaos. Essentially, the recording is basically this man’s ascent into madness. Buzz: Have you had any legal troubles screening these videos? Nick Prueher: We have yet to get in trouble showing these videos.We fairly admit we don’t own the copyrights to these videos. We talked to a lawyer, and it’s basically the equivalent to a band playing a cover. When you do it live, you’re in the clear because we’re not showing the whole videos, and half of the show is comedy so we can argue that creative contribution covers most of it. Really, the spirit which we show them in is non-offensive, and I have a hard time imagining anyone would come after us. On the home movies, they might be embarrassed, but they gave it up for good will. It’s more of a celebration of the stupidity of these home videos. It’s not mean. This is the first college-specific screening of the festival and Milkhouse Studios may be planning future college tours for the Found Footage Festival. It will play at the Illini Union on April 21 at 8:00 p.m. More information can be found at http://www.cinemagic.com/foundfootagefest.html. buzz

Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

How’s she going to have her baby in one of her videos and still do something skankalicious? Britney Spears is pregnant, folks. The pop princess (though it’s more like pop duchess these days) and her ex-background dancer hubbie Kevin Federline announced last week that an egg inside her fallopian tube has been fer tilized. For tunately, Spears’ next movie project, a cosmetics saleswoman comedy called In the Pink that is set to co-star Tim Allen and Cher, is still in preliminary production and probably won’t be released until 2007. So, she’ll have plenty of time to adjust to motherhood and figure out where to put her next Razzie Award. After playing the iconic Johnny Cash, a man whose battles with drugs and alcohol were widely known, in the upcoming biopic Walk the Line, Joaquin Phoenix has entered rehab for alcoholism. The star of such films as The Village and Gladiator apparently checked himself into a rehabilitation center after feeling “uncomfortable” with how he was living his life, a publicist said. His late brother, River Phoenix (Stand By Me) died of a drug overdose in 1993. One wonders how the music of Cash, particularly the title song and “Sunday Mornin’ Comin’ Down” affected the actor during filming. Remember Tom Sizemore, the Black Hawk Down star who was recently sentenced to 17 months in prison for failing a multitude of drug tests while on probation for a domestic abuse charge? Well, the recipient of his abuse, ex”Hollywood Madam” and money launderer Heidi Fleiss, has insinuated Sizemore might be a closeted homosexual and that his sexual frustration might have spawned his dangerous behavior. Her rationale, as told to America’s Globe tabloid, is that “he’s lousy in bed and very homophobic.” You know, she says he’s lousy in bed like it’s a bad thing. Maybe he just realizes neither of them should procreate.

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TALK IS CHEAP, BUT SO ARE YOU.

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SCHOOL FUNDING C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

Do you have

a persuasive personality?

PHOTO • SARAH KROHN

Why not get paid for it?

WPGU is looking for outgoing individuals who are interested in working with local businesses to help them increase their sales and brand awareness through advertising. If you are energetic, self-starting, and enjoy talking to people, we want to hear from you. Positions are available for summer and fall.

Chris Wetzel, a nurse always wearing a smile, works in Carle Hospital and is listening to a patient's heartbeat.

Christine Wetzel is the Manager of Hospital Pediatrics and Breastfeeding Clinic at Carle Hospital. She’s been a nurse at Carle for 12 years and enjoys working with families. According to Wetzel, nurses must be able to adapt to a continually changing health care system but must always provide the same outstanding patient care. Nurses don’t just care for patients, they teach and act as an advocate for patients.

Call 337-3103 or email chuck@wpgu.com for more info.

Why did you decide to become a nurse?

My grandmother was a nurse, and I saw her passion for caring for others. However, nursing is my second career. I also have a degree in Early Childhood Development and was a preschool teacher before I became a nurse. What do you like about being a nurse?

I love being a nurse. It is so much more than a job. Caring for patients and their families and seeing the impact is very satisfying. Helping others through challenging times of their lives is a great part of the job. I also like that nursing has so many opportunities. Nurses can advance their careers through experience and education. What are the challenges you face as a nurse?

There are days that it is hard to be a nurse. Nurses now are also taught to be cost conscious. Health care costs are rising and nurses are being held responsible for keeping to budgets. This is important not only to the health care organization but also to the health care consumer. We all need to do our part to hold the costs of health care down. Another challenge is emotions. Nurses witness patients dying. Nurses must learn to balance death with life. Nurses cry when patients die but then we must dry our eyes, finish our shift and return our attention to the patients we must care for. There is no real time out in nursing; we must keep moving. I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

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While Winkel’s plan may be more of a political compromise than HB750, there is debate over whether either bill will pass, let alone really help education. Van Winkle does not see the spending gap as indicative of a need for funding reform. He said the spending gap is going to be larger in a state such as Illinois, which has a major metropolitan area and many rural areas. “Obviously, it is going to cost more to fund schools in places with higher property taxes,” he said. However, legislators, educators and even Van Winkle agree that affluence is often a good indicator of academic success. It is not guaranteed that bringing more money into districts would provide better education for students, but, with many districts facing the same, if not worse cuts, as Urbana, more funding would not hurt. “There are still so many districts that do not have the money to buy textbooks, pay teachers,” said Ann Courter, the budget & tax initiative director with Voices for Illinois Children, a non-profit, non-partisan child advocacy group.“They can’t afford to provide the required years of math or social sciences needed to get their kids into a college like U of I.

All kids should have a chance at a college degree.” However, even though there may be a need for school reform funding, there are doubts that either HB750 or SB1484 will pass. Both bills face an uphill battle as Gov. Rod Blagojevich has said he will veto any bill that raises income or service taxes. Because of that, either bill must not only pass the House and Senate but also be veto-proof, which requires a 2/3 majority in both the House and Senate. Winkel said he meets regularly with HB750’s co-sponsor James Meeks, I-Chicago, to try to find a compromise between the two bills that would result in legislation that would have a greater chance of passing with a veto-proof majority. In Urbana, local school officials are not optimistic either bill will be passed. However, even if neither passes, they are glad legislators are taking the issue of school funding reform seriously. “The time is now,”Amberg said.“The discussion needs to happen. Something radical needs to be done with school funding.” After all, as Netter believes,“It is not the fault of children where they are born.” buzz

If you weren’t a nurse, what do you think you’d be doing instead?

If I were not a nurse I would be a professional shell collector. I love the beach. O.k. if you want a serious answer I would say a research scientist. I love research; I want to get my PhD some day. I am finishing my MSN this semester. When you aren’t working, what do you enjoy doing?

I have two children and a husband.They like hanging out with me. I have a Shih Tzu; I like cutting her hair. I decompress when I cut her hair. I have been really busy with my master’s program, so I don’t really have a hobby. What advice do you have for future nurses?

This is a great career. Nursing is what you make it. The rewards are indescribable. I laugh with the babies, cry with the mothers, wince in pain with the children during painful procedures. I play hide and seek with the toddlers. I work with great people. I look forward to working everyday, because I love to be around all of the patients and my coworkers. Finding your niche can be the hard part. I know nurses who struggle at first but mostly because they just haven’t found their area. There are so many places a nurse can work; you just need to find your spot.

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YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;RE GREASY LIKE A POTATO CHIP.

EMERGENCE C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

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The faces reflect not only her expressed reactions but those withheld and suppressed as well.â&#x20AC;&#x153;I felt a deep shadow for the people I left behind in my homeland,â&#x20AC;? she remarks. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Struggling with these ambivalent feelings, I found myself being strongly drawn by those African masksâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;eyes slightly closed, mouth loosely opened, no curiosity, no surprise, no precaution, no desire, no pain, no joy, no worries.â&#x20AC;? The array of styles and methods covers a spectrum of techniques in painting, ceramic, sculpture and jewelry, in addition to animate presentations through video installation, fashion, music and dance. Featured events occurring throughout April and May include live music, informal artist lectures, and a book signing by Linda Scott, author of the book Fresh Lipstick. buzz For more information, browse the exhibitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s program at www.verdant-systems.com/emergence or call the Verde Gallery at 217-3663202. The gallery is located at 17 E. Taylor in downtown Champaign.

ARTISTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CORNER C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

Where do you draw inspiration from when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re creating?

Everywhere. Particularly sounds through music, and it also depends what time of day Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m painting or what I was up to earlier or if Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a cold or if my roommateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got the TV blaring or if my neighbor is smoking a cigarette outside, if I have homework to do, if Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had sex recently, if I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t had sex recently, if Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m angryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;those usually go in only one direction. If there is a piece of crap painting sitting in my room, and I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stand it, that gets painted over and leads to something new. If there is a spider crawling on the wall.There is inspiration everywhere! Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unavoidable. How did you get started in the arts?

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a funny question. I guess I was nine, and I performed in a talent show at school. I sang the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Star Spangled Bannerâ&#x20AC;? a cappella. I was very nervous, but I got through it, and I thought, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey, this is alright.â&#x20AC;? So I kept performingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;did plays all through high schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; directed, did crew and that eventually lead to theater in college, which lead me to have an internship at the theater company Collaboraction in Chicago, where I met Wesley Kimler. I had always loved art up until then, but it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t until he told me that I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know anything, that I was just an 18-year-old kid who knew nothing about passion, beauty or art, did I start to do something about it. I was very angry with him, but he pushed me. He was right; I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know anything, and I realize that now, and I still donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know anything, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m learning.

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AP R . 21

Every artist that has had their music evaluated, whether that be praise or criticism, has had to come to terms with other people influencing what they do.

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2 7 , 2 OO5

ar tist’s corner

Katie Jacobsen

I’ve went through it myself,

so I wrote a song about breaking free from all that.

Buzz: There is an obvious ’80s influence throughout the album, which I think is pretty fresh. Can you explain why you went this route? Blueprint: I decided that as an artist, I was starting to care a little bit too much about being different and progressive, as opposed to executing the art and making good songs. Most of the stuff in ’88 or prior was made with much less equipment, but in my opinion it was more creative and had a more fun vibe to it than today’s music, so I decided to try to take that approach and apply it to today’s music. When I started getting good feedback about what I was doing, I decided to keep going and make an entire record. Buzz: Who were major influences to this project? I think I can hear Marley Marl in there.... Blueprint: Definitely Marley Marl. Public Enemy and The Bomb Squad, Biz Markie, Big Daddy Kane and Boogie Down Productions.

My process was much different for this record because half of my time was spent looking for old sounds and drum breaks that were popular back then and finding find a way to rearrange them. Buzz: This album comes out on Rhymesayers instead of your own label. Is this to diminish the amount of hats you have to wear in the fruition of the project? How has working with Rhymesayers been? Blueprint: It’s to reduce the amount of pressure on me. It’s very difficult dedicating yourself as an artist to the point where you can really promote your record, and it’s even more difficult to try to do the administrative part as well. I didn’t think it would be in the best interest of the record for me to try to do much. Rhymesayers has always been good to me. Buzz: Of all the songs on 1988, “Liberation,” the song that ends the album, stands out the most to me. It doesn’t have the straightforward ’80s vibe found on other songs, it’s over five minutes long and covers a falling-out from your past. Could you give us some insight into this song? Blueprint: I made an effort to make the

album get more and more progressive as the album continued so that people wouldn’t feel too alienated by the ’88 sound, especially if they didn’t grow up on it, which is why “Liberated” sounds so different and why it’s the last song on the album. It’s one of those songs that’s about expectations of you that are made by others and how it takes conflict to break us free and make us stronger. Every artist that has had their music evaluated, whether that be praise or criticism, has had to come to terms with other people influencing what they do. I’ve went through it myself, so I wrote a song about breaking free from all that. Buzz: So what’s next for Blueprint? Blueprint: I’m actually working on writing the next Soul Position album right now. RJ sent me a bunch of beats, and I’ve been writing since January. I want to have most of it recorded by the end of the summer. After that I might do another Weightroom record or another instrumental record. buzz Blueprint appears at the Highdive with Illogic this Thursday (9 p.m.) as part of UC HipHop’s celebration of Hip-Hop Awareness Week. For more information, check out uchiphop.com.

Buzz: How do you have time to run a label (Weightless Recordings), produce beats and emcee? Got an extra arm? Blueprint: I have no idea. It’s extra difficult sometimes, but growing up I was a kid that always had to have a bunch of different things going on to be happy, and I’ve stayed that way as an adult. I just try to always keep moving forward and hopefully my activity will pay off.

PHOTO COURTESY OF RAPSPOT.DK

PHOTO• DAVID SOLANA

Blueprint, in addition to owning his own label and collaborating with RJD2 as Soul Position, also works solo as an MC and producer. Buzz chatted via email concerning his newest LP, 1988, and wearing many hats.

DJ BOZAK • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Katie Jacobsen keeps a busy schedule between driving down to St. Louis, where she volunteers with the East St. Louis Action Research Project’s theater workshop for middle school kids and acting in local theatre events on and off campus in Champaign-Urbana. The fourth-year theater studies major gets precious little time during breaks, but what she does Katie Jacobsen works intensely on one of her painthave, she dedicates as amply as she can to ings. Her art is on display in Cafe Kopi. her painting. Her work is currently on display at Cafe Kopi in Champaign and will also be up pretty amazing, and I’ve always loved the at the Artists Against AIDS Festival April 22-25 Impressionists, particularly Van Gogh. I was actually an apprentice for the Chicago at the Gallery Building in downtown Champaign. painter, Wesley Kimler, a few summers ago. I What’s your favorite medium to work with? Why? learned so much from him. I did not paint anyI am all about oil paints—oil on canvas thing for him, but he taught me what it meant to preferably.There is something about the viscosi- be an artist.We had a huge falling out, but that’s ty of paint that has attracted me to oils since I a story for another time. I will never forget that was a little girl—I know that may sound weird, summer with him though, not for a million years. but it’s true. I love using a palette knife to spread it across the canvas; it gives a piece texture and dimension. Also, oil paint takes forever to dry, so you can play with one painting for a while, changing it, manipulating color. It’s very cool. What kind of influence have visual arts like this exhibition and theater had on each other for you?

I have found that art is addictive. Once you get in there and start working, it’s hard to stop. Painting is where my passion lies, and I plan to pursue it further. I don’t know where it’s going to take me, but I’m having fun so far. Since I’ve started painting seriously, I’ve started to see art all around me, kind of corny but if you stop for a second and just observe, there is art everywhere! Especially in this town: music, dance, poetry, theater, photography—anything you could ever want.We are very lucky here. As far as other influences on my work: I’ve started to research more on abstract artists. It’s important to understand who has come before you in any given field. I’ve found that I love Clifford Still and Mark Rothko; their stuff is

It’s About Health We are now accepting Medicare and Medicaid. Most other insurance plans accepted.

BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

- Blueprint

BLUEPRINT MAKES A RETURN TO 1988

buzz weekly •

BRIAN’S APPARENTLY NOT VERY FUNNY....

Dr. Jeffrey Melby 217-355-7321

1808 Woodfield Dr., Savoy

What kind of reaction do you try to provoke from viewers in your work?

I want people to pull their own meanings from my work. I specifically did not title any of my pieces for that reason. Words can get in the way of what people see. I’ve gone in with friends to see my work at Cafe Kopi, and they’ll ask me, “Is that a waterfall?” “Are those buildings?” “That looks like a bunch of little animals.” I love it! The fact is though, I don’t sit down and say to myself, “Okay, I’m going to paint a giant school bus today.” I’ll put on some cool music and then go to town; that’s how it’s done.To answer your question though, I want people to feel whatever they want to feel. If they love a piece and feel warm and fuzzy inside—awesome. If they get pissed off and think it’s crap—that’s cool too. I’m not looking for anyone’s approval. Not everyone will like it, and I am definitely okay with that because there are plenty of people who will.

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

Buzz: Most listeners will know you from your work as Soul Position with producer RJD2.What is it like taking on the production responsibilities for an entire album to go along with all the lyric writing? How is your creative process different? Blueprint:There’s a lot more pressure on me to come up with good production with this record but at the same time there’s more of a reward if people like it. This is probably the first real representation of what I can do as an MC and as a producer.

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AP R . 21

“Womee n who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”

•

ERIN SCOTTBERG • STAFF WRITER

nside Pogo Records Recording Studio in downtown Champaign sit vintage microphones, speakers and stereo equipment that look like they could have been used during one of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Fireside Chats. Memorabilia of Jim Henson’s Muppets lines tabletops and a fake cup of spilled coffee lays on top of a box filled with switches, dials and meters. High above it all, completing a collecting of quirky playthings, a statue of Beethoven’s head gazes over the studio where 13 student bands from the University of Illinois spent their weekends recording Green St. Records’ Playlisted last February. Green St. Records is not a record label in the conventional sense—there’s no contracts, no full-length albums. It is the brainchild of four University of Illinois students who wanted to help student musicians get their name out and their tracks heard. Playlisted is GSR’s second annual compilation of the best bands on campus. “The most important thing to us is spreading the great music a lot of people don’t know about,” said Jason Drucker, president of marketing at GSR and one of the four founders. Josh Morton, president of public relations, Jonathan S. Rozen, president of advertising and Aaron Rosenthal, president of artists and repertoire, share the same vision. “We want to create a musical representation of the student body,” said Rosenthal. GSR gives all students involved experience in every aspect of recording a professional album—the four presidents and a staff of 30 students run every facet of the operation including recording, marketing and promoting an album of the same quality a major record label would produce. “Bands do it for exposure and the experience. Same as the students on the staff. That’s what it’s about for all of us—getting real world experience,” said Drucker. Each fall, GSR auditions bands—at least one-fourth of the members must be a student—to have one song on the annual compilation. GSR scouts local bars, checks out open mics, hangs out at house parties and flyers the hell out of campus asking “Want to be on a record label?” to attract new talent. “We have a staff of 34, and come fall, we turn into one big recruiting machine,” said Drucker. The sound quality of the submission doesn’t matter. GSR understands that most bands don’t have the resources to make a high-quality recording of their music—the goal of the organization is provide musicians with a recording of the utmost quality they can use to promote themselves. “Sound quality is out the window when

WOMEN OF THE WORLD EMERGE FROM VERDE

PHOTOS• DAVID SOLANA

ex, gender and cultural backgrounds go a long way in defining the windows artists render to share their thoughts with the world.The Verde Gallery’s current exhibition, Emergence: International Women in the Arts—currently running through May 21— capitalizes on the nexus of converging and overlapping styles that inhabit East Central Illinois’ population of female artists. By collecting a diverse representation of mediums and aesthetics, the display foregrounds the

Ocean Rock’s in front of The Heart’s Random Sea, both by Jess Beyler.

inspirations and sociopolitical dynamics in the works of women from East Asian, African and American backgrounds. “I attempt at Verde to feature art and performance that is both creatively accomplished and socially/culturally uplifting for the community,” states Curt Tucker, the owner of the Verde. The gallery has always remained true to this vision, and Emergence is no exception, offering a unique look into the personal and cultural landscapes of the locale. “I was approached by Siti Mariah Jackson many months ago about being involved in an International Women’s Show that occurs outside the USA, which she had been a part of in the past,” says Tucker.The planning stages kicked off after Jackson’s proposal in 2004. “After some negotiation with that organization it was decided that we should do it on our own,” he explains. The busy months that followed involved a diligent search of the local talent that eventually culminated in the richly representative collage now on display. “Although it required months of coordinating and planning the various programs, I found much pleasure and understanding in locating and finding these talented international women artists living in Champaign/Urbana and the surrounding area,” Jackson recalls in her curatorial overview. The billing of artists to be displayed on the floor grew to 16 names, including Jackson and Verde assistant Kelly White, who is co-curating Emergence. Jackson, a native of Kedah, Malaysia, and former elected member of the International Women Artists Council based

in Penang, contributed several works to the exhibit include ceramic and painted works that function materially and visually as records of her life. One of these is her watercolor piece “Quiet Melody,” for example, of which she states, “I tried to create and express a sentimental song of love within a peaceful atmospheric background. It is part of a continuing watercolor series which I started in 2002 – 2004 entitled ‘Siti’s Diary,’ a chronicle of my personal life experiences.” The easy natural imagery of Jackson’s work balances well with more confrontational and conflicted visages. Among these are White’s pieces, which—as she states— reflect her preoccupation with recollection.White, who was born to British parents in Luanshya, Zambia, and later moved to the United States, takes a much more direct approach to her viewers through self-portrait and symbolism. “The past with its selective reminiscence tends to comfort me, while the idea of the future generates feelings of apprehension and allegories of isolation,” she explains in her artist’s statement.The emotional contemplation flowing through her iconographic expression reaches out to the view with a shared sense of interrogation. “Through the process of attempting to translate these anxieties onto the painted surface, I expose deeper layers and generate a more tangible object to assist in my exploration,”White says. “At times it all feels too literal, self-indulgent and deeply vulnerable, but yet still a satisfying and necessary part of an intriguing journey waiting to be cultivated and exposed with abandon.”

Equally as gripping are the expressions on the painted masks of returning Verde face Hua Nian.The artist created her showcased pieces during her second year in the United States, where she moved after growing up and teaching in mainland China. “I was very excited and dazzled by this highly materialist modern world,” she states, “by new ideas and the sudden freedom for which I was completely unprepared after growing up in mainland China.”

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

WANNA PUT

Paying Cash for Your In-Style Spring and Summer Clothing

MONEY

IN YOUR POCKET

Mon-Fri. Saturday 10-8 10-6

Sunday noon-5

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b u z z w e e k l y • 11

I HATE ALL THE CONSTRUCTION.

GREEN ST. RECORDS PROVIDES A PLAYLIST

-Timothy Leary

BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

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looking at musicians. We’re looking for actual music quality,” said Morton. The process of picking the bands that will be included on the album begins at the end of the fall semester. The entire staff gets together and listens to every song submitted. In order to compile a diverse collection of musical styles, staffers are asked to put their personal taste aside while evaluating. “We try to stay really objective in everything we listen to.There are so many styles out there. This is a compilation CD of student music—we want to make sure we’re not discriminating on personal taste,” said Morton. When a band is accepted, they get studio time in a professional studio, a professional photo shoot, two managers and a publicist to help them along the way—all for free. As a registered student organization at the university, GSR is funded half by the Student Organization Resource Fee (SORF) and half by their own efforts selling T-shirts and holding benefit shows, among other endeavors. This year, GSR is sponsored by local businesses, which allowed them to offer each band eight hours of recording time, almost triple the three hours each band got last year. “[Green St. Records does more] than put out a comp, it’s giving people recording time,” says Craig Jacobson of Ambitious Pie Party, one of the bands on Playlisted. The compilation is entirely recorded and produced with Mark Rubel at Pogo Records Recording Studio. “Mark is fantastic as a producer. Being a musician himself, it’s great to get into the studio with him and watch him work with the bands,” said Morton. Rubel prefers to record the tracks live, with every instrument being played together and the vocals sung at the same time. “That’s how the band’s used to playing. That’s how they generate their flow, their vibe … there’s something about the excitement of singing while you’re playing and the togetherness that the music has when they’re performed at the same time,” said Rubel. Rubel said recording live helps generate an energy and excitement to the record that isn’t always apparent when each track is recorded individually. “It never really feels like music to me when you do it that way, it just feels like what it is, which is a manufactured, simulated musical product,” Rubel said. Rubel, who also teaches at Parkland College and Millikan University, uses the props in his studio to provide a conducive environment for the band to record a track that truly shows what they’re capable of. Depending on the style of the music, he’ll shut off the lights and work by candlelight, as he did with The Elanors, or string up bright, fun bulbs as he did with

Ambitious Pie Party. “He makes it easy to go in and do the song and make it sound better than it ever did before,” said Ryan Groff of elsinore, a GSR band that was also nominated for the “Best Roots/Americana Band” at the recent WPGU/Buzz Local Music Awards. For most GSR artists, this was their first opportunity to record in a professional studio—most student musicians can’t afford to on their own. “To be able to record in a professional studio with a professional producer was an eye-opening experience; you can do a lot more with the track. All the other recording I’ve done was in a basement, or homemade, studio,” says Agent Mos, another Playlisted artist. GSR wants Playlisted to be on par in every aspect with what a real label would produce.The album is heavily advertised, as are the shows GSR books for its artists. GSR also gives business advice, such as the most cost-effective way to make shirts or better ways to promote themselves. “A lot of bands are good on stage but don’t know how to promote themselves,” said Rozen.“One of the things we’re best at is promoting live shows.” Being a part of GSR made many of the artists’ names more familiar in the Champaign-Urbana community. Agent Mos and elsinore both have received more recognition since being a part of GSR. “Being a label gives you a tie-in all the sudden.We can say to other bands or booking agents,‘You might not have heard of us,

but we’re on Green St. Records,’” said Groff. “It’s a huge asset.” “It’s an interesting experience to walk down the street and see your face on a poster,” said Agent Mos. “It’s humbling.” Just as there is no cost for artists to be on the compilation, there is no charge for people to listen to it—that would defeat the purpose. “Once you make something even one dollar, that one person who is undecided about listening to it is probably going to make the decision not to,” said Morton. Playlisted will be available at either of the two release shows this weekend—one at The Canopy Club and one at the Highdive—where every artist on the compilation will perform. GSR is planning an acoustic music series on the Quad to distribute the album, which will also be available to download at Greenstrecords.com. You can order it from Parasolrecords.com too. GSR encourages people to download, burn and pass along Playlisted to their friends. “We want people to take the CD, dig it, play it, put it on your iPod. This is the best playlist of student music you can possibly find,” said Morton. buzz On Saturday, The Ending, Sincerely Calvin, The Lifeline, Bullet Called Life, and elsinore will appear at The Canopy for the first night of the release party. Sunday, it’s Agent Mos, Missing the Point, the Elanors, i:scintilla, DJ Zirafa, Triple Whip, Ambitious Pie Party at the Highdive. Both shows are $5. More info is available all year at greenstrecords.com

12 • b u z z w e e k l y

Who would have guessed I’m in love I’m in love CORNELIA BOONMAN • STAFF WRITER

It’s appropriate that Of Montreal’s best

named after a dream that Barnes’ wife had about the two of them in a mystical planet named Sunlandia, is what Barnes calls more “Prince meets David Bowie.” “At first, the band was a little unsure of the dancier pop, but then they warmed up to it and now everybody seems to have a really good time,” explains Barnes about the production of the album, which was mostly done by himself on a laptop in his home that he shares with his wife and brother. “As I finished each song, I’d play the songs for my wife and brother, and my brother’s a little more critical, and I changed a lot after hearing his advice. He sometimes says some lyrics are pretty cliche and lame, like ‘will you let me into your dream?’ So now we’re not so cliche and lame.” Earlier music aside (including Built to Spill, Dinosaur Jr. and the Kinks), his family is the biggest influence, especially because the enthusiastic Barnes ironically believes that sometimes he has the tendency to think too commercially, saying, “Oh, people aren’t going to like this. She definitely pushes me to be as weird as possible. I wouldn’t want to sound like someone else.” Lyrics like “Who’d have guessed who’d have guessed I’m in love I’m in LOVE!!!” from Satanic Panic in the Attic pay suitable tribute to this very woman. This weirdness is partly what makes Sunlandic Twins so very enjoyable, in addition to the extraordinarily catchy melodies, high energy and sweetly sung choruses. “The people we love, our contemporaries, the Shins, Caribou … we have the same spirit, in a way.We spend a lot of time crafting our songs.”While intelligent, the mem-

bers of the band still don’t take themselves too seriously, with Barnes explaining that his bandmate Bryan would be a koala bear if he were an animal but retracting it, saying, “Wait, koala bears are mean, so he’d be panda bear, because he’s vegetarian. And Dottie would be a cool sexy lemur. Jaime would be a raccoon because he’s really cute. He doesn’t eat garbage. I’d be a salabuzz. That’s an animal I just made up. It has red eyebrows and looks like Willy Nelson and eats breath mints and curtains. And my wife would be a car.” Moments like this make it very easy to believe that Kevin Barnes is the mastermind lyricist behind eight albums. Barnes’ departure from their usual (and by “usual,” I still mean amazingly great pop music) area of pop allow them to move out of their more ‘60s-influenced style and move towards the decades of the ‘70s and ‘80s.“You just get tired of playing the same kind of music. It gets boring,” he says about the process of moving forward when you have such a distinct style.Which prompts us to ask—where will Of Montreal be in the future? Kevin Barnes answered this with,“I never had that moment of clarity where you’re like, all right. I’ve made it.You know, it’s always a continual struggle. You always want more than what you have, and it keeps you motivated. So in the future, we’ll probably be either in Sunlandia, or still struggling.” buzz Of Montreal will play the Highdive this Wedesday. The show also features Tilly and The Wall. Tickets are $10.

PHOTO BY AMY CARGILL

show so far on their current tour should be in the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia. It would be even more fitting if Philadelphia were known also as the city of wife-ly, band-ly and people-ly love, considering Kevin Barnes’ rather sweet devotion to his family and his audience. Kevin Barnes, lead singer of renowned Elephant 6 collective band Of Montreal, likes to sing about love. He likes to sing about bumblebees. He and his band wear costumes. He sometimes sings about corpses but when he does, it’s kind of morbidly cute. Even when he sang about “Pancakes For One,” the loneliness just seemed more like a natural part of life, to be accepted when eating pancakes by yourself. Kevin Barnes and Of Montreal have the sort of pleasant balance between off-the-wall, wildly melodically imaginative pop songs and the razor-sharp edge of adult experience. The first thing you notice about Barnes is that he speaks quickly. “I can’t stand breaks. It drives me crazy because it’s keeping me from what I want to do. I’m always obsessed with productivity. I can’t stand wasting time.” Releasing the bright and bold Sunlandic Twins in April on the local (and according to Barnes, very supportive) Polyvinyl Records has been their latest achievement. Sunlandic Twins itself is a new departure from the much-adored psych-pop of 2004’s Satanic Panic in the Attic. Sunlandic Twins,

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...And You Will Know Us By the Trail Of Dead Worlds Apart Interscope BY IMRAN SIDDIQUEE

“There was a time when albums were made and there was a certain amount of artistry behind it,” says Jason Reece, founding member of …And You Will Know Us By the Trail Of Dead. With such a larger-than-life name, anything short of artful records would seem at odds with the band. Luckily these Texas boys can deliver on their epic tendencies. From the celebrated Source Tags and Codes to their newest piece, Worlds Apart, this is a band that makes huge records bursting with creativity. “The only pressure that we feel is from ourselves, always trying to top ourselves. It seems like most great artists are trying the same thing,” Reece says. “We don’t have an exact method, it could either come really fast or it could take forever, it can be kind of grueling but you forge through.” The band has emerged with their fourth studio album. Songs such as “The Rest Will Follow” take the band to new heights by adding new instrumentation to their signature noisy/melodic style. The record recalls mid-90’s rock in the vein of Billy Corgan with its fullblown orchestra sound and arena-filling vocals. “We where listening to a lot of albums where drums where big, those are the songs that now seem more orchestral,” Reece says. While Worlds Apart falls short of the lofty expectations set by their previous record, the band still fits into the role of rock stars, becoming as notorious for their live shows as they are acclaimed for their music. “I usually don’t remember the show, it’s like some sort of pornography, something that you block out of your mind,” Reece says. “People tell us we are crazy, like we did something silly like stab an amp with a guitar, but I never remember.” The wild nature of their live shows seems a natural progression from their raucous sound, yet this is a band that prides itself in technique and artistry. Lead singer Conrad Keely has been known to write intellectual essays on the state of modern music, and the band’s name itself is far too serious to brush off as just another crazy rock band. “The name is inspired by the gods and goddesses that surround us,” Reece proclaims. The constant forward movement of the band, as with most musicians, begs the question of longevity, but Reece is not concerned. “Robert Pollard from Guided By Voices... kept writing great songs forever,” Reece muses. “I guess that’s probably the best thing, it’s never a sure thing.” The same motto is what carries the band towards its next project. “You never know the future, and I find a certain amount of satisfaction and joy in that,” Reece says. …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead is appearing at The Canopy Club tonight. Tickets are $15. s o u n d s

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ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

Green Day singer Billie Joe Armstrong tells this story: "A guy walks up to me and says, 'What's punk?' I kick over a garbage can and say, 'That's punk.' So the guy kicks over a garbage can and says, 'That's punk?' And I say 'No, that's trendy.'" Keep this tale in mind in the coming week, Aries. There's no need and no excuse for you to be like the trendy guy. You should be like Billie Joe, the one who kicks over the garbage can the first time.

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

Traditional astrologers say Tauruses are rampant materialists. While it's true that members of your sign often have a robust relationship with money, I find that many of you also have a refined and vigorous appreciation of beauty. In fact, I think an aesthetically pleasing environment is crucial for your mental and spiritual health. In the coming week, you should devote extra time and care to this need. Purge ugliness from your surroundings. Introduce elements that excite your eye and stimulate your imagination. Your symbol of power: the thousand-year-old rose bush that grows next to the wall of Germany's Hildeshiem Cathedral.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

For one week, try this exercise: Each night before you fall asleep, review the day's activities in your mind's eye. As if watching a movie about yourself, strive to be calmly objective as you observe your memories from the previous 16 hours. Be especially alert for moments when you strayed from your purpose and didn't live up to your highest standards. If you're feeling adventurous, I also recommend that you spend a day doing a review of all of your life's highlights since your last birthday. Pick a time when you have a few hours to spare, lie back and close your eyes, and watch with compassionate gratitude as the amazing plot lines unfold.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

"Creativity is like driving a car at night," said E. L. Doctorow. "You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." I would add that life itself is also like driving a car at night. You're pretty much in the dark all the time except for what's right in front of you. Or at least that's usually the case. But for a few shining hours in the coming week, Cancerian, I believe you'll be able to see the big picture of where you're headed. It will be as if the whole world is suddenly illuminated by a prolonged burst of light; as if you're both driving your car and also watching your journey from high above.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Actress Lara Flynn Boyle was recently accused of acting oddly on a British Airways flight from Los Angeles to London. Witnesses have said nudity and extreme lack of inhibition were involved. When Boyle was confronted by reporters with the rumors, she refused to elaborate, noting simply, "My job is to entertain, and not to explain." I hereby declare that to be both your motto and mantra in the coming week, Leo.

VIRGO

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SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

While mountain biking, I spied a white horse engaged in odd behavior in a meadow. Over and over again, it took two steps forward and two steps back. Was it neurotic or distraught? I decided to sit and watch. Five minutes went by. Ten. Still it continued its routine. Finally I got inspired to pray for it. "Dear Goddess," I said, "please at least let that poor horse go three steps forward and two steps back." Moments later, the creature started doing exactly what I'd prayed for. Slowly, it made progress across the field. Now I'm saying a similar prayer for you: "Dear Goddess, please help Scorpios escape their treamill-like pace, and go at least three steps forward for every two backward."

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Actor Vin Diesel was describing the work required of him in the film, The Pacifier. "The hardest stunt I ever had to do was allow my ear to be gnawed on by a duck," he said. I fully expect that among the many stunts you will be asked to perform in the coming weeks, Sagittarius, none will be more dangerous or uncomfortable than Diesel's. I won't mind if you bitch about them the whole time, but please bear in mind how innocuous they will all turn out to be.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Drugs don't give Indian holy man Mangal Das a buzz. Maybe he has meditated too much to be affected by mere chemicals. In his quest for experience that takes him outside of his usual awareness, he has also arranged to be bitten by snakes and scorpions. Unfortunately, that doesn't give him a kick, either. He even tried drinking elixirs made from toxic herbs, but there was no bang to be had. Finally he found an intoxicant that worked: touching live wires. Now he enjoys getting an electrical shock every day. I wouldn't be surprised if you soon embarked on a comparable quest to expand your thrills, Capricorn. But please limit your search to things that are really good for you. Avoid the shock and poison options.

AQUARIUS

LIBRA

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(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

A Bengal tiger at a zoo in Burma killed one of her two-week-old cubs. Zoo officials decided to separate her from her other two cubs. They did so reluctantly because the Bengal tiger is an endangered species and these were the first cubs born in the zoo in 16 years. Putting out a call for a surrogate mother, the officials were relieved when a 40-year-old woman, a mother of three children, pledged to breast-feed the cubs until their teeth grew in. Although your pressing need has arisen from very different factors, Aquarius, you, like the cubs, should be open to receiving nourishment from exotic sources in the coming weeks.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

Centuries ago, the sight of a Viking ship on the horizon cast dread into the hearts of villagers who lived on the east coast of what's now Britain. Rightfully so: The Norse raiders were infamous for plundering and killing. Today, though, the Vikings frighten no one. The loss of their status as a symbol of fear is epitomized by the silly replica of a Viking ship that a Dutchman named Robert McDonald is building out of 15 million lollipop sticks. This transformation is a good analogy for the process that should unfold in your life during the coming weeks, Pisces. Something that has always scared you is ready to be reduced to a harmless cartoon.

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Friday, April 29 John Popper Project

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

My friend Kathleen traveled to Maui with her nine-year-old daughter Ariel. They checked into an ocean-side condo. At 5 a.m. on their first morning there, Ariel crept over to Kathleen's bed and repeatedly whispered, "Let's go see the sea turtles." Rising out of the depths of sleep, Kathleen was torn. Part of her was peeved at the intrusion because she wanted to luxuriate in bed till late morning. Another part of her longed to glimpse the turtles, which only appeared in the cove once a day at dawn. Kathleen decided to join Ariel, conquering her annoyance and putting aside her desire for comfort. The payoff was worth it. Seeing the turtles while in a dreamy state was an unforgettable joy. I predict you will be faced with a comparable situation in the coming week, Virgo. I suggest you choose as Kathleen did.

2 1

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Some people want it to happen, some wish it to happen, And others... make it happen.

Blues Traveler with DJ Logic

Thursday, M ay 5

Saturday, May 21

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

One of my ex-girlfriends had heart surgery when she was an infant. They opened her tiny chest, fixed the problem, and sewed her back up, leaving a two-inch scar on her skin. By the time she became an adult, the scar had grown along with the rest of her, stretching to eight inches. I regard this as a good metaphor for the way our early psychic wounds expand as we mature. Having said that, though, I'm happy to report that you now have en excellent chance to dramatically dissipate the lingering pain of an old trauma, as well as to shrink the scar it made. Please take maximum advantage of the healing energy available.

National Volunteer Week April 17 - 23

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DARK N EW D AY

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Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

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40 "Beauty School Dropout" musical 41 Garlic, in Guadalajara 44 First name in rationalism 45 Breadwinner 46 Pickup hangout 47 "Get your ___ over here!" 49 Jock, J.R. or Bobby 51 They often have whipped cream on their nuts 54 She goes mad in "Hamlet" 56 The only imaginable way for rock to beat scissors? 58 Always, in poetry 59 Metallic element used in spark plugs 60 Former senator Daschle 61 Pilot's heading: abbr. 62 "Falling in Place" novelist Ann 63 Decade divs.

Parkland College Student Fine Art Juried Exhibition 2005 Parkland College Art Gallery through May 7 Mon-Fri, 10am-3pm Mon-Thu, 6-8pm Sat, 12-2pm New York [photography by Michael Sherfield] Old Vic Art Gallery through April 30 Mon-Thu 11:30am-5:30pm, Fri-Sat 11:30am-4:30pm Quantum Garden [original prints by Charles Segard] Aroma Cafe through June 4 Mon-Sun 7am-12am

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Emergence, International Women in the Arts [An international yet local exhibit, featuring artists and performers from all over the globe who live in the C-U community] Verde Gallery through April Tue-Sat 10am- 10pm Mapping Sitting: On Portraiture and Photography [this exhibition ventures into uncharted territory with photographic and video installations and uses portraits by Arab photographers, including passport studio photographs, photo "surprise," itinerant photography, and group portraits to present a dynamic picture of the Middle East. Organized by Walid Raad

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and Akram Zaatari.] Krannert Art Museum through June 5. Gallery conversation and lecture from Radd April 28 at 7pm KAM lobby Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm Suggested Donation: $3 Healing Works [display of art works by survivors of sexual violence] Independent Media Center through April 30 50,000 Watts [drawings by UIUC Professor Ron Kovatch and new ceramics by retired SIU Professor Dan Anderson] Cinema Gallery through April 30 Tue-Sat 10am-4pm Here Again [a story told in daily installments of sound and distributed via the Internet. The IPRH featured work will include an expansion of the original 2004 installment.] IPRH through April 22 Mon-Fri 8:30am-5pm www.iprh.uiuc.edu Pink Floydâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dark Side of the Moon Light Show William M. Staerkel Planetarium at Parkland April 22, 23, 29, 30 9:30pm, $3-5 Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com

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TODD J. HUNTER â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

music

Last April, The Pitch issued

their long-awaited debut album The Anger Swallow and abruptly imploded. The band is back together for two shows, the first of which was The Local Cookout 2005 last Saturday at The Canopy Club.â&#x20AC;&#x153;Just look around you and grab the nearest objectâ&#x20AC;? is how frontman Ryan Lee explained the bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s backdrop, an array of eye-catching flags from Medieval Times of South Carolina. It exemplified a more relaxed attitude than in the past, which gave way to glorious free expression by the quintet. Making use of the whole stage like whirling dervishes, The Pitch seared through a new instrumental, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Build,â&#x20AC;? and continued straight into â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Match in My Handâ&#x20AC;? before pausing for breath and a slow-burner sing-along, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Springtime.â&#x20AC;? The pseudo-psychedelic guitar and violin-fueled rock emanated unpretentious grandeur, and the strain to overcome an obviously sore throat only made it more compelling. Next week, Sound Ground will look at The Back of My Burning Hand, the surprise follow-up to The Anger Swallow, due in town tomorrow for official release April 30. Rock sextet The Ending (ex-THC Squared) has a release show for its self-titled EP April 29 at Cowboy Monkey. Also on the bill are i:scintilla, Troubled Hubble and Nadafinga. Show time is 7:30 p.m., and cover is $5. The Ending also appears Saturday at The Canopy Club with Sincerely Calvin, Bullet Called Life, elsinore and The Lifeline for Green St. Records Playlisted Album Release Night I. Show time is 9, and cover is $5. i:scintilla has two recent releases of their own, in limited numbers. First is the Capsella [Toxin Mix] Music Video DVD, available at C.V. Lloyde Music Center and at shows. This is the video by director Chris Folkens in conjunction with his government thriller Toxin. Second is a live album from the March 14 episode of WEFT Sessions. It spans 56 minutes and includes seven songs (three acoustic, four electric) plus interview segments, still shots and live video from the performance. The David Bowie tribute album announced here in January, for which i:scintilla recorded a cover of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Starman,â&#x20AC;? has been cancelled. i:scintilla next plays Sunday at The Highdive with Triple Whip, The Elanors, Ambitious Pie Party, Missing the Point,Agent Mos and Black Tie Elephant for Green St. Records Playlisted Album Release Night II. Show time is 7:30 p.m., and cover is $5. The premiere of the full film Toxin is Friday night at the University of Illinois, Armory 101.The main showing is at 7, with

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repeat showings at 8 and 9; admission is free. More information is available at dualfilms.com/toxin. Tonight, Aroma Acoustic Music Series presents Americana singer Mark Clark and folk singer Jim Rowland. Show time is 8, and admission is free.At 10, Mike â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;n Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s displays the new Colonel Rhodes lineup with David Gerkin, plus Minneapolis drum-and-bass duo V9R9D and Gainesville popsmith Emperor X. Cover is $4. Tomorrow, minstrel Greg Klyma and WEFT-Buzz Best Male Artist 2005 Brandon T. Washington play at The Iron Post at 9. At 9:30, Nargile celebrates one hundred years of the Illinois Disciples Foundation at a Peace with Justice Benefit featuring jigGsaw, The Weakdaze, The Frame and Decals. Cover is $5. And at 10, Mike â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;n Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s showcases Chicagoans The Lesser Birds of Paradise with locals The Invisible and Shipwreck. Cover is $3. Saturday, Pulsar47 (ex-At Knifepoint) plays its inaugural gig with The Weakdaze and FCAB at McKinley Foundation in Champaign. Show time is 8 p.m., and cover is $5. Also at 8, Corkscrew After Dark hosts Nashville singer-songwriter Jill Sissel with Joni Laurence. Both these shows are all-ages and non-smoking. At 9:30, Embassy Tavern in Urbana offers a free show by Larry Gates of Lorenzo Goetz. Also at 9:30, Cowboy Monkey presents Candy Foster and Shades of Blue; cover is $4. Sunday night, The Canopy Club spotlights unlikely rappers MC Chris of Adult Swim and The Former Fat Boys, better known as WPGU DJ Shampooh. Show time is 10, and cover is $10. Tuesday night, it houses a rock show and date auction for the University of Illinois varsity menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s glee club. On the bill are Wasteoid Workforce, Doxy, Green Light Go and Vishnu Blue. Admission is $7 ($5 in advance).

#72

Across 1 Fort Collins campus, for short 4 They may kiss 11 Detoxification place 14 Paddle relative 15 Thus far 16 Lettuce variety a.k.a. romaine 17 How scissors beats paper in the real world? 20 She baked pies in Mayberry 21 Bening of "Being Julia" 22 "The Path to the Nest of Spiders" writer Calvino 23 Gainesville college footballer 24 Make 25 One who openly declares 31 Hilarious person 32 Ending for Canton 33 Fix some potholes 34 Microscope part 35 How the paper might beat some rock? 37 "Song of the South" term

Down 1 Pablo Escobar smuggled it 2 Boy scout greetings 3 Go 4 It's bare in a nursery rhyme 5 Relative of 20-across 6 "Reader" on the newsstands 7 U.S. force in Vietnam: abbr. 8 Cuzco's civilization 9 Hands-up time? 10 Moved like a pendulum 11 Terrier type 12 Bridge type 13 Says without knowing 100% 18 Center of a Jim and Tammy Faye scandal 19 Pieces of wisdom 26 "Standing on the ___ of Getting It On" (Funkadelic album) 27 "Dido and Aeneas," for one 28 Straddle the fence 29 Water brand that spells another word backwards 30 One of Dewey's older brothers 35 Guiding principles 36 What parents say when they get back from a trip 37 Horns and such 38 Hirer's stack 39 Draw into a trap 41 Knack 42 He'll stay after school 43 They may be faked 48 Title in colonial India 50 Hornets don't play in Charlotte's 52 First-year French student's verb 53 Actor LaBeouf of "Constantine" 54 Fail to include 55 Spittoon noise 57 July hrs. in Jersey

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Todd J. Hunter hosts â&#x20AC;&#x153;WEFT Sessionsâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Champaign Local 901,â&#x20AC;? two hours of local music every Monday night at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

+2!..%24 #%.4%2 #!,, 4/ -53)#)!.3 &DOO WR 0XVLFLDQV &DOO WR 0XVLFLDQV 0ERFORM IN THE WORLD PREMIERE OF -IKEL 2OUSE S &DOO WR 0XVLFLDQV 4HE %ND OF #INEMATICS AT +RANNERT #ENTER AND ON TOUR

7% !2% 3%%+).' s !BILITY TO SING ONSTAGE SOME EXPERIENCE IN CONTEMPORARY POP STYLE s -UST BE ABLE TO LEARN NEW MUSIC BY READING A SCORE OR LISTENING TO #$ s !BILITY TO READ WRITTEN MUSIC NOT REQUIRED s !BILITY TO PLAY THE FOLLOWING MIGHT BE A PLUS ELECTRIC GUITAR ELECTRIC BASS

KEYBOARD DRUM TRAP SET OR ELECTRONIC DRUM KIT s !VAILABILITY FOR WEEK REHEARSAL PROCESS AND FOR PERFORMANCES AT +RANNERT #ENTER 3EPTEMBER AND AT -ONDAVI #ENTER #ALIFORNIA /CTOBER AND s 0ERFORMERS AGED AND OVER 9/5 3(/5,$ "2).' s ! PIECE TO SING IT CAN BE TO A KARAOKE BACKGROUND SELF ACCOMPANIED ON ANY INSTRUMENT

OR WITH PIANO ACCOMPANIMENT PLEASE BRING SCORE FOR AUDITION PIANIST s ! PERFORMANCE RESUME WITH CONTACT DETAILS s ! PHOTOGRAPH FOR I D PURPOSES ONLY &OR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT 4HE %ND OF #INEMATICS PLEASE SEE WWW MIKELROUSE COM

!5$)4)/.3 4!+% 0,!#% &2)$!9 !02), TH PM 4HANKS FOR YOUR INTEREST 9OU MUST PREREGISTER FOR AUDITIONS 4O PREREGISTER PLEASE CONTACT -ELINDA #RAIG MLCRAIG UIUC EDU

3 'OODWIN !VE 5RBANA ), +RANNERT#ENTER COM

DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips 9pm, TBA DJ Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Mellow Fellow [hip hop/retro/R&B] Nargile, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, TBA Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Sappy's on Devenshire 9pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free

I was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force already within me when I arrived on the scene.

thursday April 21

Live Music U of I #3 Big Band The Iron Post, 7pm, TBA J-Soul: Eclectic Soul, DJ Bonsu Nargile, 7:30pm, cover Acoustic Music Series: Mark Clark, Jim Rowland Aroma, 8pm, free ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead, The Sword, The Black The Canopy Club, 9pm, $15 Weightless Records Invasion/UC HipHop Awareness Week Event: Blueprint, Illogic, DJ Prizm, Greenhouse Effect, DJ Rare Groove, DJ Bozak The Highdive, 9pm, $5 Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 9pm, free Jeff Helgesen's Jazz Mayhem Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3

Ray Charles

Colonel Rhodes, V9R9D, Emperor Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4 Backyard Tire Fire Paulie's, 10pm, $4 Doxy [cover band] White Horse Inn, 9:30, TBA

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Loose Womyn Discussion Group Borders, 7pm, free “I Resist” Planning Information La Casa’s Conference Room 68pm

DJ DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips 8pm, TBA DJ J-Phlip [house] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul 9pm-1am, free

Film End of Suburbia Illinois Disciples Foundation, 7-9pm, free The Found Footage Festival [a showcase of odd and hilarious clips from videotapes found at garage sales, thrift stores and the like] llini Union’s Courtyard Café 9pm, $5

Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free

friday April 22

Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Dance Workshop La Casa’s Living Room 7-9pm Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign 7:30pm, $7-$9

Live Music Roger Cler Cowboy Monkey, 5pm, $2 Jeff Helgesen The Iron Post, 5-7pm, TBA The Prairie Dogs Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Coffee Shop Open Mic Wake The Dead Cafe, 6pm, free The Mighty Pranksters The Highdive, 7:30pm, $5 Greg Klyma, Brandon T. Washington The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 IDF Peace with Justice Benefit: Jiggsaw, The Weakdaze,

buzz pick

DJ DJ Elise Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ Dance Party The Canopy Club, 9pm, TBA DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Bozak [hip hop, downtempo] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip OR DJ Lil Big Bass Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5 Special Events Take Back the Night March [a march for all females to symbolically reclaim our bodies, our homes, our workplaces, our streets, and our lives. Come join us in solidarity at the rally followed by a march for women and a teach-in for men] West Side Park, Champaign, rally at 6pm, march at 7:30pm

Love Embalmed: A Rock Opera Armory Free Theater, Campus Tomorrow, April 22, 7:30 p.m. and Midnight Saturday, April 23, 7:30 p.m. Co-authored by director Chris Parkhurst and music director David Sicher For his final project as a senior in the theater studies program at the University of Illinois, Chris Parkhurst wanted to “bring back the distinct dinosaur that is the rock opera.” The story of Vincent Murbeer (Tom Kurtz), a mortician whose only friends are corpses, Danny Stitch

The Frame, Decals Nargile, 9:30pm, $5 Signsedso, Green Light Go, Brief Candles Paulie's, 9:30pm, $5 Fotamana, Beat Kitchen [rock/reggae/world beat] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 The Lesser Birds of Paradise, The Invisible, Shipwreck Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $3 Trouble Is [rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, cover Reasonable Doubt TNT Tavern, 8:30pm-12:30am, TBA

(Brad Graham), a gambler desperately trying to get out of the game to raise his daughter, and The Boss (Vivian Nwakah), a loan shark, a pimp, a murderer, a drug dealer and a badass is a theatre-noir with murder, mayhem and madness.

Theater Love Embalmed: A Rock Opera [Directed by Chris Parkhurst] Armory Free Theater, 7:30pm & midnight, free

Puzzle

saturday April 23

Live Music The Situation, Hat Party, Colony of Watts Mike ‘n Molly’s, 10pm, TBA The Infinity Room, Berry, Five to Fade, Road Trip to Nowhere, Naec Maiestas Wake the Dead Cafe, 6-11pm, $5 Tommy Peoples Grace United Methodist Church 7pm, $15/adult, $10/stu Billy Galt Pages For All Ages, 7pm, free Mark Biehl Borders, 8-10pm, free Corkscrew After Dark: Jill Sissel, Joni Laurence Corkscrew, 8pm, free The Weakdaze, Pulsar47, FCAB McKinley Foundation, 8pm, $5 Green St. Records presents Playlisted Album Release Night I: The Ending, Sincerely Calvin, Bullet Called Life, Elsinore, The Lifeline The Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 The Noisy Gators The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Candy Foster and Shades of Blue [blues/soul/R&B] Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $4 Larry Gates [of Lorenzo Goetz] Embassy Tavern, 9:30pm, free 160 Proof [classic rock and southern rock covers] Tommy G's, 10pm, $5 Acappellapalooza XII [The Xtension Chords, Rip Chords, Soul Essence] Foellinger Auditorium, 8pm, $5$8, Tickets are available at www.xchords.com Reasonable Doubt Proud Mary's, Tuscola

Workshops Aromatherapy Class Wind Water & Light, 1-3pm, $30 Theater Love Embalmed: A Rock Opera [Directed by Chris Parkhurst] Armory Free Theater 7:30pm, free MoMENtum : Creating a Movement to End Rape Illinois Disciples Foundation, Springfield Ave. and Wright St., Ch. Men and women from across the Midwest are invited to this conference on creating a movement towards ending men's sexual violence on the college campus. For more information or to register, contact Matt at rombach@uiuc.edu.

sunday April 24

Live Music Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free High St. Swing Orchestra The Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Green St. Records presents Playlisted Album Release Night II: Triple Whip, i:scintilla, The Elanors, Ambitious Pie Party, Missing the Point, Agent Mos, Black Tie Elephant The Highdive, 7:30pm, $5 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Free Rock Show: Heavy Handed, Clio, Slow Intentional Damage Tommy G's, 9pm, free MC Chris, The Former Fat Boy$ The Canopy Club, 10pm, $10 Parkland Community Concert Band & Bloomington-Normal Community Concert Band First Baptist Church of Champaign, 2:30pm, free Singing Men of 'GNN [men of all ages from a variety of backgrounds, denominations, professions, and life

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experiences representing towns all over central Illinois] Leroy Presbyterian Church, 6pm Guster with Carbon Leaf Robertson Memorial Field House, Bradley University, 7pm $5/BU students/$20 non DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [80's rewind/funk classics] Boltini, 10;30pm, free

monday April 25

Live Music Jazz Jam with ParaDocs The Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. Washington & Mike Ingram Cowboy, Monkey, 10pm, free Quad Remedy Tommy G's, 10pm, free Dave and Steve [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, TBA DJ UC Hip Hop presents Chill in the Grill The Canopy Club, 9pm, free Ear Candy [house DJs] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [deep sultry house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Missus Mike 'n Molly's, TBA

tuesday April 26

Live Music Varsity Men's Glee Club Rock Show & Date Auction: Wasteoid Workforce, Doxy, Green Light Go, Vishnu Blue The Canopy Club 7pm, $5/adv, $7/door Bass Bag The Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Mike Armintrout The Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greelee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Kate Hathaway Band White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Kilborn Alley and Honeyboy Jackson’s Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, $10 Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free 80's Request Night with DJ Reaganomics Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Subversion: DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin[goth/industrial/electro] The Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ J-Phlip OR DJ Lil Big Bass Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Hoff Mike 'n Molly's, TBA

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free Film Brothers and Others Illinois Disciples Foundation 7-9pm, free Theater Breaking the Silence [scenes addressing sexual assault, survival, support and speaking ou] Lincoln Avenue Residence Hall 8pm, free Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign 8pm, $7-$9

wednesday April 27

Live Music Parkland Jazz Combo featuring Kevin Hart The Iron Post, 6-8pm, TBA Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8-10pm, TBA Robert Randolph and The Family Band The Canopy Club, 9pm, $20 Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Urbana Booking Co. presents: Of Montreal, Tilly and the Wall, Hot Club d'Urbana The Highdive, 9:30pm, $10 Apollo Project Nargile, 10pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free

9pm-1am, TBA Mark Biehl Borders, 8-10 pm, free

buzz pick

Kilborn Alley &

Honeyboy Edwards

Tuesday, April 26 - 116 N. First St., Champaign - 8:00 p.m., $10 Come out to Jackson’s Ribs ‘n’ Tips Tuesday night to help Kilborn Alley Blues Band celebrate their fifth anniversary. Celebrating with will be 89year-old blues legend David “Honeyboy” Edwards, one of the last of the great Mississippi Delta Blues artists alive. Just back from touring Germany, Edwards, who has played with the likes of Robert Johnson and Big Joe Williams, brought his southern style to Chicago in the mid 1950’s and hasn’t stopped jamming since. Kilborn Alley, all

local boys who have been playing together since high school, know how to get the audience off their feet with original tunes as well as classic blues favorites. Come out on Tuesday for some good ribs—guitarist Josh Stimmel says they’re the best in town—and some damn good blues. The show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets can be purchased in advance at Jackson’s, Techline Green Street Studio or Altman’s Billiards and Barstools for $10. by Erin Scottberg

DJ Chef Ra [roots/reggae] Barfly, 10pm, free Salsa Night [salsa/mambo/bachata] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $2 DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Tellers Art - A Shower of Words [Storytelling] Verde Gallery, 8pm, free Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness UIUC Yoga Club Illini Union room 406 7:30pm, free Film IPRH Film Series: Cabaret KAM Room 62, 5:30pm, free Theater Breaking the Silence [scenes addressing sexual assault, survival, support and speaking out] Phi Sigma Sigma House, 8pm, free

I was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force already within me when I arrived on the scene.

thursday April 21

Ray Charles

Colonel Rhodes, V9R9D, Emperor Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4 Backyard Tire Fire Paulie's, 10pm, $4 Doxy [cover band] White Horse Inn, 9:30, TBA

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Loose Womyn Discussion Group Borders, 7pm, free “I Resist” Planning Information La Casa’s Conference Room 68pm

DJ DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips 8pm, TBA DJ J-Phlip [house] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul 9pm-1am, free

Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free

friday April 22

buzz pick

Theater Love Embalmed: A Rock Opera [Directed by Chris Parkhurst] Armory Free Theater, 7:30pm & midnight, free

Puzzle

saturday April 23

sunday April 24

pg.16

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monday April 25

tuesday April 26

wednesday April 27

9pm-1am, TBA Mark Biehl Borders, 8-10 pm, free

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Kilborn Alley &

Honeyboy Edwards

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Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

AP R . 21

“Womee n who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”

•

ERIN SCOTTBERG • STAFF WRITER

WOMEN OF THE WORLD EMERGE FROM VERDE

PHOTOS• DAVID SOLANA

Ocean Rock’s in front of The Heart’s Random Sea, both by Jess Beyler.

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GREEN ST. RECORDS PROVIDES A PLAYLIST

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BRIAN WARMOTH • ARTS EDITOR

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Every artist that has had their music evaluated, whether that be praise or criticism, has had to come to terms with other people influencing what they do.

•

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I’ve went through it myself,

so I wrote a song about breaking free from all that.

PHOTO COURTESY OF RAPSPOT.DK

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DJ BOZAK • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

It’s About Health We are now accepting Medicare and Medicaid. Most other insurance plans accepted.

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TALK IS CHEAP, BUT SO ARE YOU.

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Why not get paid for it?

Chris Wetzel, a nurse always wearing a smile, works in Carle Hospital and is listening to a patient's heartbeat.

Call 337-3103 or email chuck@wpgu.com for more info.

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Hey, it's the wizard!

A L L kids should have a

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chance at a college degree.

We wouldn't want you to...

wiz on someone! The Wizard

Ann Courter • Budget and Tax initiative director for Voices for Illinois Children

EMILY WAHLHEIM • STAFF WRITER

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

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LOST AND FOUND Festival showcases amateur video, industrial accidents and “McClean” RANDY MA • STAFF WRITER

E PHOTOS COURTES Y OF NICK PRUE HER

PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

SCHOOL FUNDING FAILS TO MAKE THE GRADE

It’s more of a celebration of the stupidity of these home videos. -Nick Prueher

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Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

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INCONCEIVABLE!

MATT PAIS • LEAD REVIEWER

Let’s see here: You and

Reynolds’ troubled eyes create a legitimate sense of haunting dread.

techline

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The Amityville Horror

“Not terrifying but still decent.”

Selma Alam

Urbana, Ill. “Not too scary but depends who you are with.”

Samarjit Sinah

Champaign, Ill. “Thought provoking, and some points were humorous.”

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AP R . 21

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

MGM PICTURES

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

AP R . 21

MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

A while back, some folks

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24 east green street • champaign, illinois 61820 • 217-352-5570 Mon - Fri: 9 - 5 • Sat: 10 - 5

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â&#x20AC;˘

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GREATEST MOTIVATOR."

â&#x20AC;˘

2 7 , 2 OO5

- Gerard C. Eakedale TIM PETERS â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

The

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chuck shepherd

L I F E I M I TAT E S A R T â&#x20AC;&#x201D; According to a February report in the

POLICE BLOTTER

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shor t feature reviews

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3!6/9 2OUTE "URWASH !VE

& ) , +IDS ALL SHOWS 3ENIORS ,ATE 3HOWS &RI 3AT 3TUDENTS $!),9 -ATINEES TIL PM .O PASSES !,, $)')4!, 34%2%/

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This movie paints these individuals in a more human light.

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PAUL PRIKAZSKY â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

LEAST COMPETENT PEOPLE

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I LOVE THE POWER GLOVE. ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SO BAD.

GUNNER PALACE

"RECOGNITION IS THE

y o u r e v e r y d a y n e w s but hell, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re weekly

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PALM PICTURES

n e w s n o t

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THEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S A NEWS OF THE WEIRD WHERE SOME GUY LOSES HIS JOB BECAUSE OF TOO MUCH AIR-DRUMMING!

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THE BUREAU

buzz weekly

WASP â&#x20AC;˘ FAMILY

IBARRETXE & CO. S.L.

4 â&#x20AC;˘

7:35 IN THE MORNING â&#x20AC;˘ NACHO VIGALONDO

26 • b u z z w e e k l y

PARDON ME WHILE I HAVE A STRANGE INTERLUDE.

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YESSIR, YOU CAN BE POPE! JUST FILL OUT YOUR PAPLACATION AND WE’LL CALL YOU BACK IN A FEW WEEKS.

EDITOR’S NOTE PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

A new pope was elected on

THE 2005 SUBARU IMPREZA RS

$189/mo. *

Sign and Drive Lease for 48 months • $0 First Payment • $0 Due at Signing

Cleverly hidden behind Worden Martin Nissan

217.352.8910

*12,000 miles/year, MSRP $18,670, 46% Residual, Money Factor .00050, through Subaru Motor Finance with approved credit Tax, title, license and registration fee extra.

ALL WHEEL DRIVE

FIGHTING ILLINI

STADIUM CLEARANCE SALE

SATURDAY, APRIL 23 ? 9 am till Sold-Out Great West Hall — Memorial Stadium

SAVE

up to 80

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Thank you for getting us here!

- Paul

Free Appetizer

(up to $4)

with purchase of 2 entrees

OFF LAR GEST SE LECTION OF ILLIN I MERCH ANDISE

Univers ity of Il linois Div Interco ision of llegiate Athletic s

om gamedayspirit.c . St en re G 519 E. 8-7722 Champaign 32

IT’S

SPI RI T

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BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

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TALK TO BUZZ e-mail:

buzz@readbuzz.com write:

57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call:

217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

A Casual, Fine Dining Experience!

❧ Chef’s Signature Features ❧ Live Entertainment

PENNY SALE

Good at both store locations! Buy any guitar at list price and get a second one (of equal or lesser value) for

Saturday

212 West Main Street, Downtown Urbana

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

217-367-THAI

643415

buzz weekly •

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April 3oth

202 West Main 71 East University Urbana Champaign 217-367-3898 217-352-1477 Call Store for details

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I THINK ONE OF US MIGHT NEED A LITTLE NAP...

|1-5| 3 3 4 5 5

|6-9|

FEATURE PHOTO • AUSTIN HAPPEL

Captured By Robots captivated crowds at Cowboy Monkey last Thursday.

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t he

under the cover

INTRO

Editor’s Note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow News of the Weird • Chuck Shephard First Things First • Michael Coulter The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

AROUND TOWN School lack of funding • Emily Wahlheim q + a with Christine Wetzel Life in Hell • Matt Groening

MAIN EVENT Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Bob n’ Dave • Dave King Free Will Astrology

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT Women artists at Verde • Brian Warmoth Artist’s Corner with Katie Jacobsen (Th)ink • Keef Knight

1006 S. 3RD, C.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

Employment 000

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Full Time

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AUTOMOBILES

310

1990 Toyota Supra, 5-speed, looks, runs, and drives great. $3200 obo. (630)362-1491.

Apartments

400

HELP WANTED

020

Part Time PAID INTERNSHIP Sales and Marketing positions available for the Off Campus Meal Plan. Submit resume to jobs@ocdn.com or for more information visit www.ocdn.com 2-5/hrs/wk

HELP WANTED

030

Full/Part Time

Illini Women’s Soccer Club Fall 2005 coach needed. Paid position. Call Allie 978-879-8107 or Lauren 847-341-5552 for more details.

Merchandise 200 FOR SALE

285

Pillow top queen size mattress set. 17 inches thick. Still in plastic. Cost $900, must sell $150. Call 217-3695235.

Transportation 300 AUTOMOBILES

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APARTMENTS

410

Furnished/Unfurnished

310

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. $320/month. Available June 1 and August ‘05. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

503- 505- 508 E. White

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking. Fall 04, 367-6626

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Jan 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

506 E. Stoughton, C

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626. BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

NO BULL!

217-384-6930

www.johnsmithproperties.com

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

www.lookatusedcars.com

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010

HELP WANTED

DEADLINE:

CLASSIFIEDS

420

Furnished

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C.

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

105 E. John

Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court. Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

buzz weekly •

FOR ME THE INTERNET IS JUST YET ANOTHER WAY OF BEING REJECTED BY WOMEN.

APARTMENTS

C OV E R

under

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APARTMENTS

420

Other Rentals 500

Furnished

602 E. Stoughton

HOUSES

510

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

207- 211 JOHN

Fall 2005 Prime Campus Location 2, 3 Bedrooms THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished

NEED A 1 BR!

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

ROOM & BOARD

540

Want community? Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

BIG RANCH!

Super nice 3BR/2 bath ranch house with oak floors, new W/D. 2 car garage. On Race St. near Windsor Rd. in Urbana. Close to Meadowbrook Park and Vet Med. PET FRIENDLY! Only $1295/month!

217-384-6930

HOUSES

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

Things to Do 700

www.johnsmithproperties.com

CAMPUS EVENTS

710

✰ DANCE 2XS URBANITE!!! April 30th at Canopy www.dance2xs.com for details.

Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

y l k e e w

z buz FREE

18 O4 | 21 | O5 . O4 | 27 | O5 champaign . urbana