Buzz Magazine: April 27, 2006

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THE INVISIBLE MINORITY: ONE MAN’S COMING OUT STORY

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UMPHREY’S MCGEE RETURNS TO CU

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GO AHEAD, TOUCH YOUR BALLS

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Cover Design • Erin Miller Editor in chief • Erin Scottberg Art Director • Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief • Sara Sandock Listen, Hear • Anna Statham Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town • Lianne Zhang CU Calendar • Todd Swiss Photography Editor • Austin Happel Designers • Claire Napier, Nikita Sorokin, Allie Armstrong Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Austin Happel Copy Editors • Sarah Goebel, Ruth McCormack, Meghan Whalen, Dan Petrella Staff Writers • Paul Prikazsky, Tatyana Safronova, Syd Slobodnik, Todd J. Hunter Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Production Manager • Rick Wiltfong Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

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INTRO First Things First â&#x20AC;˘ Michael Coulter This Modern World â&#x20AC;˘ Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell â&#x20AC;˘ Matt Groening

AROUND TOWN The Invisible Minority â&#x20AC;˘ Tamara Mckenzie In Your Words with Sara Hudson The Local Sniff â&#x20AC;˘ Seth Fein Likes & Gripes

LISTEN, HEAR Pumping the Umph into CU two nights in a row â&#x20AC;˘ Carlye Wisel Sound Ground #123 â&#x20AC;˘ Todd J. Hunter Album reviews

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CU CALENDAR

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UNDER THE COVER

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Directorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cut: Roger Ebertâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Overlooked Film Festival â&#x20AC;˘ Tim Peters Movie reviews Artistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Corner with Dan Zaharopol Book review Andy Vecelasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Dirt Sheet

THE STINGER Doin it Well â&#x20AC;˘ Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Crosswords â&#x20AC;˘ Matt Gaffney Free Will Astrology (Th)ink â&#x20AC;˘ Keef Knight Slowpoke â&#x20AC;˘ Jen Sorensen Art & Theater calendar listings

CLASSIFIEDS

erin scottberg EDITORâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NOTE

T

o prep myself for three weeks of exams, papers and projects I decided to enjoy myself one last time before committing myself to solitary confi nement: I spent last Saturday at the 14th Annual International Beer Festival in Peoria, Ill. After all, what better nourishment to build study-endurance than more than 360 types of beer in one place?

The event itself was simple enough: $12 to get in, 50 cents a ticket, one ticket a beer, and as many beers as you can handle. All proceeds go to charity. You even get to keep the eight-ounce tasting glass. And whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lovely about an event like Beer Fest is that all kinds of people like beer â&#x20AC;&#x201D; you end up with a nice mix of leather, sports coats, mullets, miniskirts and everything in between, a great time for people-watching.

But really, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the women who look like they could be your mom but dress like theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re your younger sister that really capture my curiosity.

You know who Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m talking about â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the older lady in a denim mini-skirt and a hot-pink halter top (with hot-pink sandals, toe-nail polish and earrings to match) who looks like she naps in her private tanning bed.

These are defi nitely the most interesting folks to observe. Maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because I really do think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s amusing to see old chicks dressed in J.C. Penneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s imitation of the last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Abercrombie and Fitch styles. Or maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because I know most of these women could kick my ass in a heartbeat. Either way.

But the men â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the men are harder to classify

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â&#x20AC;&#x201D; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just harder to narrow down a specific Midwestern male stereotype because thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so many: whiskey-downing bikers, office-going businessmen, ignorant-thinking hicks, lawn-manicuring suburbanites. Any of these men could be married to the woman described above.

The only exceptions to this pattern are farmers: Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re tough, sweet and smart. A farmwoman could teach you to cook a full turkey dinner (complete with homemade cranberry sauce and apple-pie), show you how to change your oil and help you select the best ear of corn without peeling the husk and then some. All in one afternoon.

Back at the Beer Fest, in between eight-ounce sips of beers with names like Dragonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Milk and Punjob Punch, I had a little epiphany (a common occurrence after a few drinks): this is the kind of gathering that earned the Midwest its reputation.

Really, nothing says corn, soybeans and highways more than a beer-tasting event sponsored by the local Jaycees. Throw in an unknown cover band and a sponsorship from the local Bob & Tom radio station (both were present) and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got the whole dang kit â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;n caboodle.

The Midwest really is home for a motley group of people; as is any geographic region. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve traveled more in the past four years than ever before and it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t until I saw other regions stereotypes in action did I realize just how much I appreciate the hot-pink wearing women, beer-guzzling men, fl at cornfields and erratic weather that is the Midwest.

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YOU MARK THAT FRAME AN 8, AND YOU’RE ENTERING A WORLD OF PAIN.

3

michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Whoregazine, Chuggies and Lewis and Clark — The Musical!

A collection of treasures from my desk of junk

I

lost my cigarettes the other night. Yep, once again I’ve really managed to draw the reader in with that first sentence.

Anyway, I started searching through the house pretty much looking places I was sure they wouldn’t be. Eventually I made my way over to my desk.

I’m not sure why I looked there since I haven’t sat there in about two years, but the desk has become sort of a clearing house where I throw things.

I didn’t find the cigarettes, but I did come across a few interesting pieces of paper. Fine, interesting is probably the wrong word. Let’s just say I found some pieces of paper.

I try to carry a pen and paper with me most of the time. This was initially supposed to be so I’d stop forgetting things for the column. It has sadly become a reason to write down any tiny thing that pops into my mind, relevant or not.

For example, if hookers got together to form a labor union, they would call it “whoreganizing.”

Granted, I can’t really do much with it, but I felt I needed it on paper.

Some of these scraps are over 5 years old, but I keep adding notes to them in a desperate attempt to turn them into something. Since this has really become a losing battle, I decided I should at least get a half-assed column out of them. These are my favorites.

Social Change Trading Cards: This one was the most recent of the bunch. It was created by me and my friend Todd during what was meant to be a four or five day bender but instead simply turned into two nights of drinking. The concept is basically like baseball cards, except for the socially conscious child. “Hey, I’ll trade you a Cesar Chavez and a Mother Jones for your Sacco and Vanzetti!” “No way, man, you’ll have to throw in a Noam Chomsky or it’s no deal.” Of course, these sad little children would also put these cards in the spokes of their bikes and likely get beaten up by cooler kids.

Sure, it doesn’t really seem all that funny now, but drink seven or eight margaritas and you’ll be laughing your sack off.

The Chuggie: Who hasn’t put a hole in the bottom edge of a beer can, held it to their mouth and popped the top. The beer shoots down your throat with surprising ease and in about three seconds, you’re finished. Still, it’s a hassle carrying around a bottle opener all the time and besides, what if the beer gets warm while you’re waiting to chug? Well worry no more my friend, because here comes the Chuggie.

This invention is just like a normal huggie you’d buy at a gas station with one important

difference. At the base of the Chuggie, an opener is already attached to make it completely easy to poke a hole in your can and get the festiv ities star ted. Oh sure, the product’s absolutely unneeded, but I must admit I really like the name.

Very Specific Greeting Cards: This really isn’t economically feasible because I’d basically only be making one card for each instance, but still ... lets say you’ve just accidentally seen someone naked for the very first time and it’s a few days before Christmas. It’s an awkward moment, yet you still feel you should send them a card for the holiday. With these cards you can kill two birds with one stone.

On the outside of the greeting cards is Santa and on the inside is a cartoon of a naked person.

The caption reads “This Christmas card I had to mail ya ... it was weird to see your genitalia.”

Lewis and Clark — The Musical!: This has been a pet-project of mine for several years and I’ll admit I probably missed my window by not having this opus completed for their bicentennial celebration. I do, however, plan to have it completed by the time they celebrate 300 years.

It’s not the normal telling of Lewis and Clark, but a fictional account with the benefit of music!

In my version, everyone assumes Lewis and Clark are gay. In an effort to prove the masses wrong, the explorers get in a competition to court the Indian girl that’s accompanying them on their travels, sort of “Brokeback Mountain” meets “Oklahoma.” I hate to give away too much, but there is a lovely scene early on where the maiden is scouting the land from a treetop and the explorers attempt to woo her from below. It turns into a lovely duet.

Lewis:“Sakakawea, can I come up and see ya, Sakakawea, my love.”

Clark:“Sakakawea, you climb up a tree, ya search out the land from above.”

It also includes such classic lines as “Indian princess, won’t you come to your senses and see that I love you” and “Indian maiden, don’t you know I’m not grading you with some report card of love.” Towards the end, they stumble across some river, Lewis and Clark realize their love for each other, the relationship is consummated, and Sakakawea discovers a cure for scarlet fever. I’m not sure, I may need to research that a little more.

Anyway, I eventually found my cigarettes and returned the papers to their rightful place on the desk. As you well aware of having read this column, it’s probably a good place to keep the ... forever.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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around town

But she still worries about Kyle being too open around strangers and telling them that he is gay.

She is still concerned about her son. She can’t help it. She’s a mother. Naff tells her that he is smart and she just has to trust him. Beth is still worried about discrimination, violence and disease.

“I just read about some nutcase walking into a gay bar and shooting, and it would just be a terrible tragedy to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is the unknown that concerns me.”

Beth wants her son to be happy, but she sometimes worries she will never have grand kids, not only because she wants them, but she knows that her son would be a great dad.

Once Naff came out to his mom at age 16, he waited three years before he told his dad. Beth never told her ex-husband either.

Three years later, Naff was a 19-year-old sophomore at the University of Illinois. He was afraid to tell his “religious” dad and step-mother because he felt that they would disown him. He remembers his dad warning him not to “forget” his strong Christian upbringing. He felt as if he was a part of an “invisible minority.”

According to Richard A. Rhoads in his book Coming out in College, the Strug gle for A Queer Identity, “Coming out is the process of disclosing one’s sexual orientation; it begins with self-acknowledgment and expands outwards to others. Coming out marks a rite of passage to a lesbian, gay, or bisexual identity.”

In 2001, Naff decided to tell his dad in person. It was mainly because he wanted to attend the gay pride parade in Chicago during the summer of 2001, but his mother told him “no.” Beth did not want her son parading amongst thousands of gay men

AUSTIN HAPPEL • PHOTO

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THE INVISIBLE MINORITY: WITH KYLE NAFF

Kyle Naff, pictured at his apartment, shares his story of coming out as a high school student.

TAMARA MCKENZIE

Y

• CONTRIBUTING WRITER

house a few days ago and it has been found that gay teens are coming out much earlier to their parents than they did 20 years ago when they waited until they were 19 or 20. I therefore wanted you to know that I am gay and I hope that you accept my decision. I am looking forward to hearing from you, and you would have to hit the reply button to respond OK. Oh ... I have also started smoking. Love, your son Kyle.”

Naff was nervous as he waited for her response. His stomach churned and he started to sweat. The reality of what he wrote did not hit him until he clicked the send button from his Hotmail account. She might be angry. She might send him to live with is father, he thought.

Four hours passed and then his mom responded: “Hello Kyle, I don’t understand it, but I accept it. I guess this is what they call unconditional love. I am madder about you smoking, rather than being gay.”

Naff’s mother, Beth, was clueless that her youngest son was gay and she did not want to respond negatively to his e-mail.

She was surprised, but did not want to alienate him. Beth kept wondering if her son was positive that he was gay.

“Probably he was bisexual,” she thought.

He wasn’t.

“Now I accept it and I don’t question it anymore,” Beth says.

ou could eat from the floors of Kyle Naff ’s efficiency apartment on Fourth and White Streets in Champaign. His queen size bed is neatly made with a thick blue comforter. A stuffed monkey shares one of his two pillows. A chest used as a coffee table is covered with GQ and Out magazines, palm tree coasters and two half burnt candles. His walls are draped with large European maps and postcards, all keepsakes from the year he studied abroad in Barcelona. His CD and DVD collection features The 40-YearOld Virgin, Bubble Boy, The Broken Hearts Club, The Goo-Goo Dolls, Matchbox 20 and Tonic. His straight white teeth would never tell you that he smokes a pack of Camels a day, nor would his angelic face, blond hair, 5-foot-6-inch frame and sparkling blue eyes tell you that he is gay.

Naff has been openly gay for seven years, but he is not flamboyantly telling the world. His parents, however, were his biggest challenge.

At age 16, he was fed up with concealing his sexual identity and was ready to come out of the closet. He sat down at his computer in his dorm room at the Illinois Math and Science Academy (IMSA) in Aurora and wrote: “Dear Mom, I was watching a story on the six o’clock news while at Dad’s INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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and possibly being spotted by his dad on national television. Naff therefore slotted the dad’s day weekend during his freshman year to make the big announcement.

Dad’s day arrived and his father visited. Naff did not remove his rainbow key chain or the rainbow covering from his cell phone, mainly because he wanted his father to take note of these items.

Unfortunately, he didn’t.

His father did not understand what the rainbow colors meant and only complimented him on the “nice” phone covering.

Naff did not explain.

When his dad left Champaign the following day, Naff sat at his computer with each finger shaking and began to type: “Dear Dad, Just so you know. That whole rainbow thing ... it means I’m gay. We are not living in biblical times anymore. I am still pretty much the same person. Looking forward to your response, Kyle.”

His e-mail was brief. He did not want to say too much to offend his father. There was no swift response like the e-mail he received from his mom three years earlier. Naff went to work several hours later terrified. He checked his cell phone repeatedly. His father decided to call Beth, his ex-wife, instead. She told her exhusband that their son had not changed because he was gay.

An entire day had passed before Naff’s dad decided to respond to his e-mail, but he decided to pick up the phone and call instead. sounds from the scene

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He said Naff was still a member of the family and he still loved him. Naff on the other hand, was worried that he was going to be disowned.

Nowadays, when his dad calls, he jokingly asks Naff if he is still gay.

“He would say, are you ever going to find a girl or something like that, or how is the whole gay thing going? I would say ‘still am [gay] Dad. I’m not changing.’ I think my father understands. I don’t think he looks at me as the ultimate sinner, but he thinks that it would still be nice to love a woman and have kids.

“The last time he talked about it was over the summer, I don’t remember the exact date. I said ‘Dad, ya know what? This is not a phase. I am not changing.’”

With his parents now fully aware of his sex ua l preference, h is older brother Ph i l remains in the dark. The two were never close while growing up, but they are talking more often over the telephone and this makes their mother happy.

Naff, however, feels that his brother is not “stupid” and already knows, especially since they both went to the same high school and other students knew that he was gay. People talk.

“I don’t want to ruin what we have right now, because I think it is one of those unspoken things.

It does not need to be said. I don’t want to jinx our relationship. My Dad has been on my case about telling my brother for years and I am like ‘I don’t know, we’ll see.’ If I run away to Spain again, I probably will. I can’t e-mail him because he does not have the Internet.”

Naff was born in 1983 in Astoria, Ill. His

parents divorced when he was four years old and they both remarried. He and his older brother Phil moved with their mother to Crescent City, Ill., and this is where he grew up until he was accepted to IMSA. His dad moved to Rushville, Ill. when he divorced Naff’s mother.

Crescent City was referred to by the majority of its 550 residents as “Cornville,” and because Naff ’s mother felt that her son was gifted, she wanted him to receive a better education than the one he was receiving at the town’s small school where 16 students attended the seventh grade.

He was accepted to IMSA during his sophomore year, but once he got there, his life went “haywire.”

“I was 15 and away from my parents. I started in mid-August and my step-dad and my mom ended up going on a three-week vacation to England, Scotland and Ireland. Those three weeks were probably the worst three weeks of my life, because I was going through all of these changes, and I could not talk to my mom.”

Naff’s experience at IMSA was a complete lifestyle change as he struggled to hide his sexual preference. He knew that he was gay since he was he was six years old. His first “experimental” gay sexual experience came at age nine and his “real experience” was at age 13. Naff has never had sexual intercourse with a woman, but he has dated a few girls. He has also broken some hearts.

He fully came out in high school during his senior year. He did not feel safe around the boys SEE KYLE NAFF PG. 6

DEFINITION Sexual, aesthetic or romantic attraction exclu- route. Three primary colors — red, orange, and yellow — on one side, and three secondary sively for those of the same sex or gender. colors — green, blue, and purple — on the other.

BREAKING IT DOWN BAKER EXPLAINS HIS COLORS AS: Gay: used predominately to refer to homosex- • Hot pink for sexuality • Red for life ual males • Orange for healing Lesbian: Gender-specific word that refers to • Yellow for the sun • Green for nature homosexual females.

• Blue for art • Indigo for harmony LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,Transgender • Violet for spirit COMMON SYMBOLS OF HOMOSEXUALITY λ Lambda: The lower case Greek letter lambda, The pink triangle: Taken directly from the originally chosen by the Gay Activists Alliance of Nazi concentration camps and derived from the largely overlooked number of homosexual New York in 1970. prisoners that were taken hostage. Before World Rainbow flag: The most popular symbol of the gay War II, a German law called Paragraph 175, pride movement. Developed by San Francisco art- prohibited homosexual relations. During Hitler’s ist Gilbert Baker in 1978, Baker originally had a rise to power in 1935, he extended the last to eight colors. Pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, everything from homosexual kissing to fantaindigo, and violet. The hot pink had to be removed sies. In these Nazi concentration camps, the later when the mass production machines failed to prisoners were labeled accordingly by colored produce Baker’s original hand-dyed color. The indigo triangles. “Regular” criminals were green, politcolor was removed after Harvey Milk, San Francis- icals were red, and Jews by two overlapping co’s first openly gay supervisor was assassinated. yellow ones. Homosexuals were marked with The 1979 Pride Parade Committee wanted to unite pink triangles. the gay community and removed the indigo stripe in attempts to divide the colors evenly for the parade Source: GLBT Community Services

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M ay 3 , 2 oo 6

KYLE NAFF CONTINUED FROM PG. 5 that graduated the year before. He recalls walking through the halls one day in his pajamas and a group of these guys called him a â&#x20AC;&#x153;fucking faggot.â&#x20AC;?

He therefore waited until his senior year to fully come out to the classmates he had already spent three years with.

Naff â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s friend Ryan, however, was left in the dark.

Ryan also attended IMSA but he and Naff never became close friends until they enrolled at the University in 2001. When Ryan fi rst met Naff , he was dating Helena, Ryanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s neighbor.

He had heard from other classmates that Naff was gay, but Naff never told him because they were not close friends. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to say I suspected it, but it did not surprise me, based on his interaction with other people and his friendship with other girls.

It did not change my opinion of him at all and it was kind of funny that I met him dating one of my friends even though he was gay.â&#x20AC;?

Naff and Ryan can often be found hanging out at Bar Fly or Guidoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in downtown Champaign drinking Miller Liteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s or Long Island ice teas.

Even though he is gay, to Naff, sex is something that is completely natural, whether it is with two guys or two girls or a heterosexual couple.

He recalls that throughout his freshman year in high school, he was called â&#x20AC;&#x153;fudge packerâ&#x20AC;? daily by a group of guys that were â&#x20AC;&#x153;testing the watersâ&#x20AC;? themselves. He was confused. He never fully understood what the derogatory term meant,

until a close friend told him. He soon became worried that everyone knew he was gay and he became suicidal.

Rhoads outlines in his book that the effects of being closeted are so devastating that suicide is frequently thought. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gay youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual youth.

Several of the gay and bi-sexual men I interviewed considered suicide specifically because of their same-sex attractions and their related fear of not being accepted,â&#x20AC;?

Rhoads said.

Naf f also assures h i m s el f t h at he wa s â&#x20AC;&#x153;definitelyâ&#x20AC;? gay as a child and â&#x20AC;&#x153;there is no question about it.â&#x20AC;? He played with My Little Ponies and Cabbage Patch dolls while his older brother was more interested in G.I. Joe. His dad tried to buy him a Baby Sitters Club board game when he was in the third grade, but he wanted Clue. His dad never bought him violent toys and many of the kids Kyle played with while growing up in Crescent City were girls. He has always been more comfortable around them.

Whenever he went shopping as a child, he was also drawn toward pink or purple shoes or any piece of clothing that was pastel, his mother recalls.

Nowadays, Naff is single by choice. His last serious relationship was with Chris, a University alumnus that he met on campus through a mutual friend in July 2002. Their short-lived relationship ended in August 2003 because Naff went to study abroad in Barcelona.

Naff still talks to Chris just about every day though. He also spent New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day with Chris and his new boyfriend in Des Plaines,

to return this kindness, even though they are not together.

Chris views Naff as a â&#x20AC;&#x153;very uniqueâ&#x20AC;? person, and cannot stand the fact that he allows his nails to grow extra long. He also inspired Chris to tell his parents that he was gay because he really loved him.

Naff is not looking for a serious relationship right now, and is more concerned about fi nding a job in San Diego or Atlanta once he graduates. He desperately wants to get out of the Midwest because he has been living in Illinois all his life.

Kyle feel s that si nce coming out seven years ago, he has been â&#x20AC;&#x153;extremely fortunateâ&#x20AC;? because his parents never disowned him and he never â&#x20AC;&#x153;got the shitâ&#x20AC;? kicked out of him upon telling someone that he is gay.

He never reveals his sexual preference right away because he never knows what reaction he may get from others.

Naff used to get â&#x20AC;&#x153;worked upâ&#x20AC;? about individuals that spoke out against gay people, but he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t anymore. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need the idiots on my side at this point. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need the ignorance. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need the hate. Sexuality is natural for me, whether it is gay or straight.â&#x20AC;? buzz

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need the idiots on my side at this point.

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need the ignorance. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need the hate.

Sexuality is natural for me, whether it is gay or straight. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Kyle Naff Ill. Kyle refers to Chris as his â&#x20AC;&#x153;fi rst real relationshipâ&#x20AC;? but claims he is over him and they are only friends.

Chr is, now 25, was extremely generous while he dated Naff and he took advantage of it. He could ask for anything and Chris would buy it. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He did not buy me a car or anything, but he was so generous.â&#x20AC;?

After they broke up, Chris still gave Naff an iPod mini for Christmas in 2003. Naff now wants

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sounds from the scene

Apr. 27

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M ay 3 , 2 oo 6

buzz weekly •

I AM A DEEPLY SUPERFICIAL PERSON.

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bove hangers of leather jackets, those short black jackets that punk boys, who chain smoke and consume strange combinations of drugs and music wear, above dented and wrinkled boots and sandals lined up along the wall, above old 7” records used to mark the sizes of pants hanging on a rack, there is a black sweater-dress adorning the wall.

The front is decorated with patches of metallic silver and maroon, pieced together from tiny squares of color. The squares look like scales on the tail of some gaudy mermaid, and the dress screams nostalgically for the ’80s, as loudly as Cindy Lauper’s out of tune voice. Someone once was paid to make the dress, back when the design was at the height of fashion, and someone once bought it. But once the silly trend died, the sweater might have changed hands or been stashed away.

Sara Hudson, who owns a second-hand vintage clothing store, found it in a thrift store in Chicago earlier this year.

“It sat in my closet for a while because I considered keeping it. That’s how much I liked it,” she said, admiring the dress. “But then I knew I’d never really wear it.”

So Hudson brought it into her store, Dandelion on 9 E. Taylor St. in Champaign, along with thousands of other dresses, jackets, blazers, pants, hats, sunglasses, scarves, shoes and countless other items. It now hangs opposite the cash register where she can see it.

“I can still love it,” she said.

She pointed to another favorite — a fitted Asian-print shirt with a mandarin collar, which she bought on a trip to St. Louis. Silky blue, the shirt stood out on the rack among more muted colors, like red and yellow. In the busy evening of the next day, someone was already buying it. “Now it’s going away to a new home,” Hudson said, radiant and smiling, now able to let go of even favorites after opening the store 13 years ago.

Petite with bleached, straight hair, she is the perfect model for Dandelion’s mix of vintage and near-modern, dressed in a white front-tie fitted jacket with cutwork, over a black dress with a pleated bottom, with f lared jeans and heels. Except for her shoes, she wears secondhand clothes.

“I buy new shoes,” she says. “My feet are sounds from the scene

finicky. I have to buy wider shoes than most of the ones in here because people’s feet were very narrow back then.”

Many of the clothes in the store run small too, she says, especially the older pieces. Large blouses and dresses with massive shoulder pads and shapeless bodices from the last 30 years, however, are still a frequent sight at the store. Hudson recently got a hold of vintage dresses in sizes as large as 22 and a half — an unusual find.

“But back then that’s equivalent to like (the modern sizes) 11 or 12,” she explained.

Once a week, usually on Wednesdays, Hudson travels in search of more clothes at estate sales, auctions, and thrift stores, and once a month she travels further away, to Chicago, St. Louis, and everywhere in-between, returning with “at least a car-full crammed in the back.” “(There’s never) a shortage,” she says laughing.

Dandelion is bursting; there are racks of clothes in the dressing rooms, clothes on the walls, in plastic organizers, and in every corner of the store. She also has a storage space stuffed with clothes, and then there’s her and her husband’s house.

“The basement is full. The attic is full,” she said.

Dandelion used to be a smaller store on Chester Street. After Hudson left San Francisco, where she was unhappy working at a non-profit advertising agency, she came to Champaign, her college town, and borrowed $800 to pay for her first store.

“I then paid that back within a month. And I didn’t have some huge savings account,” she said.

“I didn’t have much money.”

Eventually the cramped shop on Chester Street caught the attention of her current landlords who offered to her what used to be a photographer’s studio.

“When we moved in, the floors were cement and the walls were all gray-black,” she remembered. “There were no lights on the ceiling.”

Now, the walls are an off-yellow — a mix between yellow and green — and the ceilings are white. The store glows with the white light of many lamps. But Dandelion is again beginning to seem too small to Hudson.

“This seemed huge back then,” she said.

“Now (it’s) crowded and I’m waiting for the next landlords to come in and ask me if I want to move.”

AUSTIN HAPPEL • PHOTO

TATYANA SAFRONOVA • STAFF WRITER

Sara Hudson stands outside of her vintage clothing store, Dandelion, on Monday April 24.

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buzz weekly

I JUST GOT SKYLIGHTS PUT IN MY PLACE. THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE ABOVE ME ARE FURIOUS.

$100 offer totally for real. Like, for real, for real.

SECOND SNIVEL Your responses on how to protest the war from last week were as funny as they were important.

While I cannot list all of the ones I want to, due to space issue, I do want to share with a couple of ones that had me chuckling and a couple that had me scratching my head and rubbing my bear: Tommy from Champaign states: “One of the ways that I always thought would be visually powerful would be dressing up the Alma Mater like that hooded guy with the wires coming

M ay 3 , 2 oo 6

LET IT OUT

Gmail and John Malkovich makes The Sniffer Smile

PUT THIS IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT ...

In last week’s issue of buzz, we were treated to the brilliant musings of Graduate TA, Dierdre Sullivan, who teaches Drug Use and Abuse at the University. It’s amazing to me that even after the pot revolution of the ’90s waxed and waned that people like this still believe in certain myths about drug dealers. It’s like I was reading a textbook answer from the ’70s.

It wasn’t that she laid claim to the fact that it was a gateway drug; everyone knows that most times, Heroin addicts don’t go from drinking Ginger Ale to spiking their vein. It was the fact that she insisted that dealers will “spike” their weed with any number of unknown substances to potentially up the effect that the drug will have on its users.

Sweetheart. Please. Listen here before you go off and make an ass of yourself in front of your class next semester: NO ONE spikes pot with “Angel Dust” or “Coke” or even “Keef ”. It’s just simply bad business.

I haven’t smoked the reef in over a year to be honest, but when I did, I remember that there was a going rate for how much a bag of ganj goes for. Any dealer that would add an additional substance to their pot is simply destroying their profit margin by having to spend money on another substance to taint the dope with.

Please. Let’s just stop the rumor right now. The bag of “heady nugs” that you bought on 420 is not spiked with anything. And if you are dumb enough to put a needle in you arm to get high, well, don’t go blaming it on Mr. Buddha. Nothing, not even a 14-foot milky bong pull, makes you that stupid.

•

LIKES AND GRIPES

seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

FIRST SNIFF For months, I had been d read i ng the sw itch to Gmail from Hotmail, as I believed that it would seriously hold back the amount of work that I was capable of doing. I was dead wrong.

For those of you who are still using Yahoo or Hotmail or Comcast or some other terrible web-based e-mail program — do yourselves a favor and switch to Gmail. My life is so much better that it is impossible to gauge.

Apr. 27

out of his sleeves from Abu Ghraib. The statue is already in the same position, all you have to due is cover it in a black cloth and hood and put wires in the sleeves.”

Jennifer from Urbana states: “Just constantly go and badger people who will not speak up against the war. Like, if you are in the grocery store and you are over by the carrots and you say to someone ‘Hey, those carrots cost that much because of Bush.’ And they don’t agree, just follow them around the store until the give in. No one likes to be bothered while shopping.”

Karl from Urbana states: “Never fail to help people understand that the Republican Party is the party of aristocracy. They have all the money in the world at their disposal. Never fail to remind everyone that they just can’t be trusted; they say one thing and do another; they never hold each other accountable for anything because they put party loyalty above God and country. Just look at all those scandals.”

I like them all to be honest with you. Word around the campf ire is that AWARE will be protesting in front of Vineyard Church on Sunday, May 7. And while I still don’t believe that protesting in front of churches is a good way to protest the war in Iraq, I believe that I might go check it out and see what kind of effect it has on people. I’d like to see if anyone even cares.

I don’t think that anyone will, but, very honestly, I pray that I am wrong.

BAND OF THE WEEK I seriously can’t remember if I have mentioned these duders before in this section, but I don’t really care as their show on Saturday night at The Cowboy Monkey is one of the greatest events of the year thus far. On that night, we all celebrate the release of elsinore’s newest album Nothing for Design. If you have yet to see them play live and want to, you may as well get in line now as there is no chance you’ll get in after 10:00 p.m. without waiting. This show will be that hot. For real.

FINAL WHIFF This week marks the Roger Ebert Film Festival, and this year marks the f irst time that he is tr uly br inging in someone that EVERYBODY knows, John Malkovich. I will pay $100 to anyone that goes up to him and simply says “Malkovich, Malkovich? Malokovich, Malkovich, Malokovich!” Over and over and over. This must be documented on video and turned into me by Monday, May 1 at 5:00 p.m.

Happy hunting.

Seth Fein is from Urbana. He can now be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com. There is another Seth Fein out there and he is a Professor of History at Yale.

They’ve communicated before and it was awkward.

The Yale Seth can be reached at sethfein@gmail. com. Tell him that this Seth says “Hi!”

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ERIN SCOTTBERG Editor in Chief LIKES 1. The smell of sunned skin: Yeah, I know that skin cancer is bad but I still love the smell of sun-kissed skin — it sticks with you well after the warm feeling is gone.

2. Manual transmissions: This warm weather makes me miss shifting through the gears of a 5speed with the windows down and the music up.

Stick-shifts are more fun in the summer and allow for more control during winter. Also, when gas is $3 a gallon, you need to conserve all the fuel you can.

3. Freshly shaved legs on clean sheets: The single best feeling in the world. Men, you don’t know what you’re missing.

TODD SWISS Calendar editor GRIPES 1. Technical Difficulties in classes: Technical problems have turned my 50-minute classes into jumbled sessions of remoteless DVD players and French-language dubbing. What a waste of time.

2. The American public: In a recent University of Minnesota study, Americans identified atheists as the most distrusted minority in our country. Atheists were also labeled as the greatest threat to the American way of life. WTF? Most of the atheists I know are not only very trusting people, but also the most caring people I know. It’s time for people to shed the religious righteousness and the out-dated “atheist=communist” mindset and get over it.

3. A.1. Steak Sauce: A couple of days ago a good friend of mine poured himself a shot of this nastiness and downed it like it was nothing. I wanted to throw up.

LIANNE ZHANG Community editor LIKES 1. Pepperoni-pizzaflavored Combos: No time to order a pie? No worries, these crunchy little treats taste just like a slice of pepperoni pizza ... they have about as much calories too.

Oh well! Still good!

2. Senioritis: It’s a good feeling knowing you’re towards the end, but this permanent lethargic feeling is starting to get to me ... wait ... what was I doing again?

3. Green seedless grapes: They put the purple ones to shame. Spitting out seeds? Why would anyone want to do that?

B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER

ELYSE RUSSO Arts editor GRIPES 1 . Trucks without trailers: Seriously, trucks without trailers look so top-heavy and are awkward on the highway.

They serve no purpose.

2. Multiple papers due for different classes on the same day: It’s like the all the professors on campus had a meeting and decided to assign papers for their classes all at the same.

3. United 93, the movie: I think its too soon to be releasing a movie about 9/11. What happened on Sept. 11, 2001 is still an open wound ... bad timing for a movie.

CLAIRE NAPIER Designer LIKES 1. www.pandora.com: Pandora allows you to customize your own radio station by drawing from a database of over 10,000 musical artists. Pandora picks music based on artists you like and picks a surprising amount of great artists you have never heard of before.

2. Rollerblading: My favorite way to celebrate spring is by skating down Lincoln Avenue or First Street. Not only does is it relaxing but it also firms the abs, thighs and ass.

3. Katamari Damacy: This Playstation game finally gives guys and girls something to agree on in the video game world. The basic idea: you use your character to roll a sticky ball around the game’s virtual world picking up items ranging from eye-drops to teacups to whole human beings. The goal is to make your ball as big as possible before time runs out. Terribly cheesy but a really original concept ... and hopelessly, hopelessly addictive.

BRIT TANY BINDRIM Art director GRIPES 1. Peppermint schnapps: Yuck! It tastes like crappy mouthwash.

2. Being ticklish: I’ve heard many people say that you can choose not to be ticklish by willing the feeling away. I’ve tried this for many years. I just can’t do it. For me, that strategy only works for like two seconds.

3. Canadian geese: They’re such jerks! You feed them bread or crackers and when you have no more to give, they attack you! I speak from experience.

sounds from the scene

listen, hear

PUMPING THE UMPH INTO CU TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW

WITH KRIS MYERS OF UMPHREY’S MCGEE

CARLYE WISEL • STAFF WRITER

sounds from the scene

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.MADISONHOUSEPUBLICITY.COM

W

hen people hear the name Umphrey’s McGee, us in contact with somebody who is as seasoned as he is [made] they typically respond with one of three the experience great. Just awesome.” things: “What the fuck is an Umphrey?,” The title Safety In Numbers doesn’t carry as happy a memory, “Crazy stoner hippies and their word-less though — it comes from the lyrics of “Passing,” a song written music,” or “Dude, I heard the sickest ‘Nothing for Brian Schultz, a friend who was hit by a drunk driver on Too Fancy’ a few weeks ago!” the way home from a New Year’s party with the band last year.

I, Carlye Wisel, am more than happy to identify myself as one Myers recalls, “[He was a] great guy; we miss him dearly. The of the fans in the third group. I mean, for God sakes, I asked their subject of the matter, of talking about passing on in this life — bassist Ryan Stasik to my senior prom. No, really though — I did. it has darker themes and connotations. It’s a little more somber, He turned me down, but no worries — I went with the lead of emotional album for us, since it’s a very personal subject.” my high school’s production of “The Music Man” instead, which The untimely death of Schultz leaves a fingerprint on the is WAY cooler than a rock star, right? Right? Ugh. album, but in no way sacrif ices Umph’s signature style. In Anyway, let’s get back on track. When it comes down to addition to thought-provoking, reflective lyrics and captivating it, you can call me an Umphreak, a McGeek, or any other vocals, their music is a roller coaster of sound, dipping in and combination of the band, a nickname that would have made me out between the genre differentiations of musical definition. cry when I was five years old, its all the same — I fucking love Known for their constant shifts between various time signatures, Umphrey’s McGee. So, when I had my dream opportunity last Umphrey’s McGee has typically relied on numerous eight-bar week — interviewing their drummer Kris Myers — you can bet segments to build their songs. According to Myers, though, this I was as excited as a seventh grade boy sneaking a peek into the procedure is evolving. topless jungle of a girl’s locker room.

Well, without the boner of course.

For those of you who are new to this Umph business, here’s a quick bio to catch you up: The group started in Indiana but now based in Chicago, there are six dudes in Umphrey’s McGee — Jake and Brendan on guitar, Stasik on bass, Joel on keys, Farag on percussion and Myers on drums. Everyone but Stasik does vocals, Brendan and Jake sing the most, and Kris Myers joined in 2003 when former drummer Mike Mirro left the band to attend medical school.

Phew. What a mouthful.

“I was nervous about learning so many tunes in so little time,” Myers said about filling Mirro’s shoes. “We pulled through, and I was very confident going into the first gig. I felt very honored, since Mike’s a very talented player.”

Ever since then, Umphrey’s has continued to grow in popularity. They just got back from playing “Jam in the Dam” overseas, are joining Dave Left to right: Joel Cummins, Ryan Stasik, Brendan Bailiff, Kris Meyers, Andy Farag, Jake Cinninger Matthews Band for a leg of their summer tour, and are slated to play at this year’s Lollapalooza, Bonnaroo, “We’ve been doing that the past two years, and recently we’ve and various other outdoor concerts nationwide. been changing that up a little more. We’re kind of writing more Myers recalls the first Bonnaroo festival he played back in 2004 complete bodies of work, and doing it in such a way that it’s like as an experience worth remembering. a process, where we write some patterns, phrases, riffs, or lyrics “[It was] the late night show; we just rocked it,” he said, along with that, and then we develop the song from just playing chuckling. “It was a really good show. We hit it right on the it live, because luckily our environment and scene accepts that,” screws. I think that was probably the first time I felt like — yeah, said Myers. we have arrived.”

Hell, when you’re as talented as these guys, its damn near And they have. After the success of 2004’s Anchor Drops, the impossible not to accept that. guys recently released their newest album Safety In Numbers, I don’t want to sound greedy, but due to their busy schedule, complete with album cover art by famed artist Storm Thorgerson, I could only land a ten minute interview. Although I didn’t who has most notably worked with Pink Floyd, in addition to have time to ask drummer Myers about his hopes, dreams, and artists such as Led Zeppelin, Phish, and Peter Gabriel. marital status, I had the opportunity to talk to him about some “It was kind of unbelievable,” says Myers of the collaboration. other stuff, including NKOTB and Sesame Street. Seriously.

“I have been a fan of his artwork for a long time now, and to have Look a little to the right to check out the interview.

9

buzz: If you could be any animal, what would you be?

Kris Myers: I would like to be a cheetah because it’s fast. I’d probably be a cheetah or a deer. buzz: But deer get hit by cars so often.

KM: Ah, HEADLIGHTS!!! [laughs] But that’s probably it. buzz: Alright. What’s your all-time least favorite band?

KM: Aw man, there’s so many bad bands in history ... I might say Styx, maybe Styx. Uh ... Boy George? Does that qualify? buzz: Boy George definitely counts.

KM: Boy George or ... I would say New Kids [On The Block], but I don’t even consider them a band. buzz: Aww ... I grew up with them...

KM: Soft spot! I never really liked Aerosmith, I can’t stand Steven Tyler.

I just think he’s very annoying. OH, Iggy Pop! Forgive me, I know there’s a lot of hard core Iggy Pop fans out there, but I just never liked Iggy, man.

Yeah, I don’t really like Iggy. I was gonna say Pet Shop Boys, but I think they only lasted for so long. What was that song, “East end boys”? buzz: I mean, I’m a youngn’, so...

KM: Yeah, that was before your time. How old are you? buzz: Eighteen.

KM: Eighteen? Yeah, that’s way before your time. buzz: Yeah, so of course I grew up with the New Kids on the Block stuffed animal of Joey, or whoever the fuck it was.

KM: Ohhhh, Joey McIntyre. Oh my god, Joey. Yeah, it was Jordan or Joey or Donnie? Wasn’t he brothers with Mark Wahlberg? Marky Mark? buzz: I actually don’t know ... I got the Joey doll on clearance when I was a kid because they were goin’ out.

KM: So, when you found out they had girlfriends, did you cry? buzz: No, I did shed a tear for Backstreet Boys though. I was always a Hanson girl, I’m gonna stick to that.

KM: Hanson? buzz: Yeahh...

KM: MMBOP? buzz: Totally. What’s the best pick-up line you’ve ever heard?

KM: Ah man, tough one. “Is that lavender you’re wearing?” That’s a really bad pick-up line. Well, it’s kind of classy. buzz: You can do better!

KM: How ‘bout, Oh, you’re in the grocery store, I got this from My Blue Heaven. She’s getting the ice cream and Steve Martin goes, “You shouldn’t be in here,” and she goes, “Why?” “Because you’re gonna melt all the stuff!” [laughs] buzz: I hope you’ve used that before.

KM: I wouldn’t personally use it, or haven’t had the time to, since I don’t usually hit on girls at the grocery store, but I might consider that. [laughs] If I just so happen to be in the frozen section with a really hot girl. buzz: Which probably won’t happen. Maybe a hot mom?

KM: Yeah, they would be flattered. buzz: What’s the most embarrassing job you’ve ever had?

KM: I worked at the Sesame Street General Store just because I was trying to get with a girl who worked there, when I was probably your age.

I was selling Elmo shirts and stuff like that. buzz: Did you accomplish your goal?

KM: Well, I did ... and then she cheated on me. [Bandmates crack up in the background] My buddies just laughed ... such a support group here.

Umphrey’s McGee is playing at the Canopy Club tonight at 8 p.m. and Friday, April 28, at 9 p.m. following a special showing of “The Making of ‘Safety in Numbers’” at 8:15. Tickets are $20.

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DINNER’S GONNA BE LATE.

Apr. 27

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M ay 3 , 2 oo 6

soundground #123 THIS WEEK IN MUSIC TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

Breaking news: post-punk quartet and Mabel’s mainstay The Vertebrats will reunite i n Ch a mpa ig n for one concert the weekend of Sept. 16. The Vertebrats were together from 1978 to 1982 and are remembered best for the songs “Diamonds in the Rough” and even more so “Left in the Dark,” covered by The Replacements, Uncle Tupelo, and Courtney Love. This is not their first reunion, but likely the last. The Vertebrats are: Roy Axford, Matt Brandabur, Ken Draznik, and Jim Wald. The Greedy Loves appeared as The Vertebrats at The 15th Annual Great Cover Up in January.

Henry Frayne of Lanterna is in Ventura, today playing the fifth of six California tour dates on behalf of fifth album Desert Ocean. Of it, he shares: “Desert Ocean has some of my favorite guitar tones I’ve ever recorded. It’s great to think that 40-year-old amps and guitars are still cranking it out after all these years. I like to think that some garage band was using my amps back in the ‘60s ... and the spirit lives on.” Lanterna will return to Pages for All Ages in Savoy for a free show May 6 at the café there, Steep & Brew. Lanterna then will have two official record releases with opener Hector Zazou: May 16 at Abbey Pub in Chicago and May 26 at Cowboy Monkey in Champaign. The latter will include an additional opener: Pulsar47, who May 23-25 will record at Great Western Record Recorders in Tolono with Matt Talbott (HUM, Centaur).

Credit where due: late night spACE at Independent Media Center was an almost magical multimedia

experience. Brandon T. Washington, postperformance, likened it to a ’60s happening without the sinister sugar cubes. As Nu-Orbit Ensemble drew to a close, marching band Environmental Encroachment led its parade into the room and up to the stage, merging without missing a beat, all the while in tinfoil attire and strap-on bunny ears as bystanders sipped wine. At the midpoint of the Triple Whip set, two guys made a giant Lego golem glide past the purple Christmas lights across the floor in front of the band. Then twelve-piece Alma Afro-Beat Ensemble took to the stage and headlined for hula-hoopers and dancers late into the night.

Sunday night (technically Monday morning) at Mike ‘n Molly’s, a who’s-who of downtown denizens bunched under blankets until 2:30 a.m. for the premiere of Serrated Friend and Werewolf Cemetery Episode 2 starring Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Ucherek. Most were dressed for the idyllic spring afternoon with temperatures in the mid-70s, which had dropped to the mid40s by showtime. Editing was ongoing up to showtime, which made for a more exciting premiere, while Mike ‘n Molly’s owner Mike Murphy jovially provided propane heat and did not throw everyone out until the show was over.

Murphy portrays the corrupt mayor of Amnesia Falls in Werewolf Cemetery.

Todd J. Hunter hosts WEFT Sessions and Champaign Local 901, two hours of local music every Monday at 10 p.m. on WEFT 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com. Support your scene to preserve your scene.

WHAT THE HELL?! moment of the week

Native Tongues’ ceasar-sporting rapper Busta Rhymes is back in the public eye with a hot new video for “Touch It,” and now, with a publicized episode of homophobia. Leaving a GLBT-friendly diner in South Beach the other day, Rhymes was approached by a young gay man who congratulated the rapper on his recent comeback. To this, reports say, Rhymes shouted, “Why the fuck you touchin’ me, man?

Get the fuck away from me.”

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Mr. Rhymes

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.BUSTARHYMES.WS

KYLE GORMAN • STAFF WRITER

sounds from the scene

Apr. 27

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M ay 3 , 2 oo 6

buzz weekly •

CUT OPEN COPENHAGEN.

ELSINORE Nothing For Design

1. SWEET, MATTHEW & SUSANNA HOFFS Under The Covers Volume 1

BY SUSAN SCHOMBURG

2006 CU Music Award write-in winner for Best Live Act elsinore has been doing more than just putting on energetic, enthusiastic, and otherwise darn good live shows all over town. They also have a brand-new album for your listening pleasure. Recorded in town at Pogo Studio and produced by none other than Mark Rubel, Nothing for Design is the band’s follow up to 2005’s congenial live album On Display. And this new effort is nothing to sneeze at, either.

From the first notes of the opening “Mind, Space, and Time” through live favorites like “Vampire in My Town” and “The Rise,” the band captures the listener’s attention with the very best that the Americana genre has to offer — engaging lyrics and a sound that feels like coming home.

The exciting ostinato chord progression of “Kate” allows the listener to latch on to the core of the music from the beginning and gives its listener the freedom to notice the intricacy of the band’s instrumentation.

Ryan Groff’s vocals throughout are clear and brilliant like polished glass. The mellower sound of percussionist Dave Pride’s congas and bongos is a welcome change from the more traditional drum kit sound, and Mark Woolwine’s piano parts add a sparkling veneer to the group’s sound. Accompanying these is the unassuming bass playing of Chris Eitel and steadiness from Groff’s rhythm guitar.

Aside from the vaguely unsettling “Rossville” with its delicate guitar work and forebodingly

sounds from the scene

Full Service Salon

[ PARASOL TOP TEN ]

Green St. Records

11

Shout Factory

2. TRASHCAN SINATRAS Midnight At The Troubadour Bo Barne

3. THE SECOND BAND Your Dark Side Is On The Phone Orange Grammofon

4. EL PERRO DEL MAR S/T

Edith Peacock

Memphis Industries

5. LAND OF TALK Applause Cheer Boo Hiss Dependent Music

6. HELL ON WHEELS The Odd Church Hybris

effect-laden voices that sound like ghosts in, well, a room with a guitar, elsinore welcomes the listener in with open arms. With vitality and sincerity, Nothing for Design is music for a sunny day, and well worth a listen or twenty.

And if you haven’t seen elsinore live yet, go see them already! elsinore will be performing their album release show at Cowboy Monkey this Saturday, April 29 at 10 p.m. with opening acts Gentlemen Auction House and The Wandering Sons. $5 cover.

7. THE CORAL SEA Volcano And Heart Hidden Agenda

8. JOSE GONZALEZ Veneer (Mute U.S. Release) Mute

9. BOYRACER Punker Than You Since ‘92 555

10. THE KNIFE Silent Shout Brille

Ursa Wylie-Duncan

Tue-Fri 10am-7pm Saturday 9am-3pm 109 N Broadway Urbana, IL 217/337/1480

Cut Color Styling for all hair types Formal hairstyling Relaxers Ionic thermal hair straightening and conditioning Body and facial waxing Facial aesthetics Holistic manicure and pedicure

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JUST LIKE A DOPPLER RADAR, EVENTS OF THE HIGH INTENSITY HAVE BEEN LABELED IN RED â&#x20AC;&#x201D; DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T MISS â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;EM.

4pm, $9 Movie and Discussion: â&#x20AC;&#x153;La Mala Educationâ&#x20AC;? with Richard T. Rodriguez La Casa Cultural Latina, 7pm, free Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;Spartanâ&#x20AC;?

Virginia Theatre, 8:30pm, $9

Mind / Body / Spirit THU. APRIL 27

Live Bands

Centennial Jazz Band Iron Post, 7pm, $2 Jim Rowland, Athan Chilton, Bruce T. Holmes Aroma Cafe 8pm, free Umphreyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s McGee, Kill the Cat Canopy Club, 8pm, $20 The Lonely Hearts, The Vivian Girls, Mitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;N Courtyard, 8pm $3 UIUC/$4 Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern 9pm, free

Piston Hurricane, Kiss Me Deadly, The Old Faith, Coco Coca Mike & Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 9pm, $5 Weapons of Mass DisFunktion Zorbaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 9:30pm, $3 Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, free Quadremedy Tommy Gâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 10pm, free Eclectic Theory Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Brewery 10:30pm, cover

Concerts

Parkland Wind Ensemble and Community Concert Band Parkland College, 7pm, free

Casting Crowns, Nichole Nordeman Assembly Hall 7:30pm, $38, $19

DJ

Generic DJ Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ribs-NTips, 8pm, cover Zen Thursdays: DJ Asiatic Soma, 9pm, free DJ Limbs Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Dancing

Swing Dance McKinley Foundation, 9:30pm, free

Summer Springer Cultural Center Volunteers Champaign Park District

Still looking for a summer job or internship? Like working with kids?

The Springer Cultural Center is looking for summer volunteers to help with their summer camp and programs. Dates range from June 3 to August 4. Volunteers are needed Monday through Friday from 8:45 a.m. to 3 p.m. The Springer Cultural Center is located at 301 N. Randolph St. in downtown Champaign. Volunteers will be given a volunteer shirt and will gain great experience working with kids. Contact Kari Hester at the Champaign Park District at (217) 398-2571

Karaoke

Liquid Courage Karaoke Radmakerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 7pm, free â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gâ&#x20AC;? Force Karaoke Piaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s of Rantoul, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke The Office, 10pm, free

Lectures / Discussions

Highway to Health Illini Union 10am, free Ebertfest â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Festival Circuit: Launching Pad or Dead End for Independent Filmsâ&#x20AC;? Illini Union, 10am, free â&#x20AC;&#x153;An Eighteenth-Century Visual Representation of Trujilo del Peru: The Body as a Retrival Deviceâ&#x20AC;? International Studies Building, 12pm, free Sina Najafi: Critical Practices Krannert Art Museum 5pm, free Rabbi Neuman: Holocaust Awareness Week Lecture Hillel Foundation, 6pm, free â&#x20AC;&#x153;Coke, Colombia, and Human Rightsâ&#x20AC;? Bevier Hall, 7pm, free

Comedy

The Comedians of Comedy Tour: Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, Maria Bamford and Eugene Mirman Highdive, 9pm, $18

Film

Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;Man Push Cartâ&#x20AC;? Virginia Theatre 1pm, $9 Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;Duane Hopwoodâ&#x20AC;? Virginia Theatre

â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Todd Swiss

Krannert Uncorked Krannert Center, 5pm, free

FRI. APRIL 28

Live Bands

Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free Jeff Helgesen Quintet Iron Post, 5pm, free Dave and Steve Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Brewery 5pm, free Big Grove Zydeco Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, $2 Umphreyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s McGee Canopy Club, 8pm, $20 Martini Brothers Hubers 8pm, free Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 The Infinity Room, Audible, Watery Domestic Iron Post 9pm, $5 Battery Tommy Gâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 9:30pm cover Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, $3 Truckstop Honeymoon, The Hubbards Cowboy Monkey 10pm, $5

Concerts

Senior Recital: Mary Wuestenfield, mezzo-soprano Smith Recital Hall, 7:30pm, free Sinfonia da Camera Krannert Center, 7:30pm, $33, $12 University Concert Jazz Band Krannert Center, 7:30pm

$6, $2

DJ

DJ Elise Boltini, 6:30pm, free DJ Bozak Soma, 8pm, cover DJ Delayney Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Resonate, DJ Boardwalk Mike & Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 10pm cover DJ Mertz Boltini 10:30pm, free DJ Tim Williams Highdive 11pm, $5

Dancing

Tango Dance & Lesson Phillips Recreation Center, 8pm, $7

Karaoke

Liquid Courage Karaoke The Brickhouse, 9pm, free

Lectures / Discussions

Ebertfest â&#x20AC;&#x153;Not Playing at a Theatre Near Youâ&#x20AC;? Illini Union 10am, free â&#x20AC;&#x153;Executive Functions, Memory and Language Processing after Traumatic Brain Injury: the Juncture for Speech Language Pathologyâ&#x20AC;? LIbrary, 1pm, free International Coffeehouse Wesley Foundation 4pm, free â&#x20AC;&#x153;Reggaeton: A Fusion of African and Latino Cultures through Musicâ&#x20AC;? Illini Union 6:30pm, free Research-in-Progress Brownbag Series English Building 12pm, free

Comedy

Second City at Illinites Illini Union, 9pm, free

Miscellaneous

Ebertfest: Interview with Robert Ebert Live Illini Union Bookstore, 10am, free Arbor Day Ceremony Parkland College, 10am, free

Third Annual Drag Show: The Power of Drag Parkland College, 3pm, $4 Third Annual Drag Show: The Power of Drag Parkland College, 8pm, $5 Etc. Coffeehouse Wesley Foundation, 9pm, free Illinites: Super Smash Bros.

Melee & Guilty Gear XX Tournament Illini Union 9pm, free

Film

Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;Somebodiesâ&#x20AC;?

Virginia Theatre, 1pm, $9 Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Eagleâ&#x20AC;?

Virginia Theatre, 4pm, $9 Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ripleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gameâ&#x20AC;? Virginia Theatre 8pm, $9 Barbershop 2 Community Design Center, 8pm, free

Poetry / Readings Ebertfest: Roger Ebert Book Signing Illini Union Bookstore, 10am, free

SAT. APRIL 29

Live Bands

Ray Miner Borders, 8pm free Rock Against Rape: Geisert 8, The Cockblocks, Kayla Brown Independent Media Center 8pm, $6 Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Tons of Fun Fat City Saloon 9pm, cover OuttaTheBlue Phoenix 9pm, cover Lynn Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Brien, Megan Jones Iron Post, 9pm, cover Will Rogers Band Neil St. Pub, 10pm, $3

Elsinore, Gentlemen Auction House, The Wandering Sons Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Full Circle Tommy Gâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 10pm, cover

Concerts

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pardes Mein Des Bringing India Homeâ&#x20AC;? Assembly Hall 7pm, $15 University Philharmonia Krannert Center, 7:30pm $6, $2

Miscellaneous

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Night on Broadway: A Night at the Tonysâ&#x20AC;? Courtyard, 7pm, free Etc. Coffeehouse Wesley Foundation, 9pm, free

Film

DJ

Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;Millionsâ&#x20AC;?

Virginia Theatre, 12pm, $9 Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;Claire Dolanâ&#x20AC;? Virginia Theatre 3pm, $9 Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;Junebugâ&#x20AC;?

Virginia Theatre, 7:30pm, $9 Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price Community Design Center, 8pm, free Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bad Santaâ&#x20AC;?

Virginia Theatre, 10:30pm, $9

Dancing

Family Fun

DJ Bozak Soma, 8pm, cover DJ Babyface and the Hot 105.5 Staff Nargile, 9pm, cover DJ Elise Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Tim Williams Highdive 11pm, $5 Contra Dancing Phillips Recreation Center, 8pm, $5 Urbanite Spring 2006 featuring DJ Asiatic Canopy Club 10pm, $15

Family Festival Krannert Art Museum, 10am, free

Karaoke

Live Bands

Creative Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm, free Karaoke Contest with Spazkat Karaoke Lake of the Woods Bar, 8:30pm, cover Liquid Courage Karaoke Geoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 9pm, free

Lectures / Discussions Ebertfest â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bringinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; It All Back Home: The Principles of Independent Filmmakingâ&#x20AC;? Illini Union, 9am, free

Comedy

Fishing with Dynamite Channing-Murray Foundation, 8pm, cover

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Cheap and Easy

Grace United Methodist Angelus Bells April 30th, 6 pm Grace United Methodist Church, Free.

SUN. APRIL 30 Jane Boxall, solo marimba Smith Recital Hall 10am, free Shakedown, John Doe Project, Agents of Change, Alleyway Sex McKinley Foundation 6pm, $5 Proxy Canopy Club, 6pm, $6 Goran Ivanovich, Greg Spero Iron Post, 7pm, $5 Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Low Skies, Judah Johnson, The Elanors Cowboy Monkey 10pm, $5

www.urbanagrace.org

Any show called â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Believe You Can Do That with Bells!â&#x20AC;? is surely worth noting. A word to the more fetish-inclined readers however, what risquĂŠ conclusions you may now be coming to (possible pun intended), should be tossed aside. Note the locale and forgot all that business. Even without any perverse connotations, I would imagine the Grace United Methodist Angelus Bells can do some pretty spectacular things. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really phenomenal to see a whole bell choir going at it, doing their thing.

The members all lined up, backs straight and heads forward, concentration and precision is what makes bell choirs so effective. In a sense, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as if a dozen people all lined up along a giant piano and each played individual notes in sequence. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to imagine what precision is involved. The group truly becomes one to beautifully perform renditions of classic pieces. Something like a more complicated FAO Shwartz scene from Big gets conjured up. That takes some skill; Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia had to practice for four months until they filmed the famous scene! Grace United Methodist Angelus Bells is the act to see; with just as many words as Clap Your Hands Say Yeah in their name and even more members than Broken Social Scene, one may argue this show to be the epitome of hip. This Sunday at the bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s namesake, Grace United Methodist Church, check out this bell choir directed by Callie Knight. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll leave exclaiming, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I thought I knew all that you could do with bells, but they have shown me so much more!!!â&#x20AC;?

Concerts

The Angelus Handbell Choir: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ring for Peace, Ring for Hope, Ring for Joyâ&#x20AC;? Grace United Methodist Church, 6pm donations

Dancing

Fiesta Foellinger Auditorium 7pm, $5

Film

Ebertfest presents â&#x20AC;&#x153;U-Carmen e-Khayelitshaâ&#x20AC;? Virginia Theatre, 12pm, $9 â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Jury of her Peersâ&#x20AC;? Channing Murray Foundation 3pm, $15 donation

â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Brian McGovern

MON. MAY 1

Lectures / Discussions â&#x20AC;&#x153;Distributed Computing Meets Game Theory: Robust Mechanisms for Rational Secret Sharing and Multiparty Computationâ&#x20AC;? Siebel Center for Computer Science 4pm, free

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sounds from the scene

Shopping CU Family Night Community Design Center 7pm, free

Live Bands

Billy Galt Blues Barbecue 11:30am, free Quietdrive, Ludo, Adam Richman Canopy Club, 8pm, $6 in advance/$8 Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free

DJ

Zoo Theatre Companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Boltini Bingo and Lounge Variety Show Boltini, 7pm, free Subversion: DJ Evily, DJ Twinscin Highdive, 10pm, $2 DJ Hoff, DJ Gambino Mike & Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 10pm, cover

DJ

Lectures / Discussions

Dancing

Panel Discussion: â&#x20AC;&#x153;State of Retail in CUâ&#x20AC;? Community Design Center, 3pm, free

TUE. MAY 2

Yellowcard Assembly Hall 7pm, $24, $19.50 Chef Ra Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak Boltini 10:30pm, free

WED. MAY 3

Live Bands

Irish Traditional Music Session Bentleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pub, 7pm, free Chambana Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ribs-NTips, 8pm, cover Fuedinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Hillbillys Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free The Dolphin, The Metal Hearts, Caleb Engstrom, Noah Harris Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Adam Wolf w/ Mike Brey Tommy Gâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 9pm, free Soultro Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Brewery 10pm, cover

100%

DJ Delayney Barfly 10pm free

Family Fun

Concerts

Liquid Courage Karaoke Geoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 9pm, free

10.25" x 5.417"

DJ

Karaoke

10.25" x 5.417"

Spring Choral/Orchestral Concert Parkland College 7pm, donations

DJ Tremblin BG Barfly 10pm free DJ J-Phlip Boltini 10:30pm, free

Spicy Clamato Illini Union 8pm, free De Bono Courtyard 9pm, free

Buzz (April 27 Insertion) 4c

Concerts

Comedy

Moosehead

Feudinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Hillbillys Rose Bowl Tavern, 6pm, free Michael Davis Bentleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pub 7pm, free Watery Domestic Canopy Club, 8pm, free Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Dave and Steve White Horse Inn, 10:30pm, free Finga Lickin The Office 10:30pm, free

MH-140-06.2K

Live Bands

Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 8-10:30pm, free Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 10:30pm, $3

Karaoke

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gâ&#x20AC;? Force Karaoke T&T Tavern, 7pm, free Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovantis, 10pm, free

Lectures / Discussions

â&#x20AC;&#x153;On the Evolution of Adversary Models in Security ProtocolsFrom the Beginning to Sensor Networksâ&#x20AC;? Siebel Center for Computer Science 4pm, free

All you have to do: # ! $ ! !

All you have to pay:

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Visit www.cucalendar.com for the most current events and to add your own.

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MAKE A PRETTY PIZZA!

Apr. 27

•

M ay 3 , 2 oo 6

THIS WEEK AT

K R A N N E RT C E N T E R F O R T H E P E R F O R M I N G A RT S

FEATURED EVENTS

Deep Azure Friday, April 28 at 7:30pm U of I Department of Theatre students have the honor of participating in the development of a new play and helping to create the characters in it. Enjoy a staged reading of Chadwick Boseman’s hip-hop play inspired by a true story about the death of a student at the hands of corrupt police and his girlfriend’s fight for justice.

Playwright Chadwick Boseman and U of I Theatre alum Bakesta King will be on campus for this first annual “New Plays Series” directed by Lisa Gaye Dixon.

Th Apr 27

Fr Apr 28

Sa Apr 29

Su Apr 30

Krannert Uncorked 5pm, free

Sinfonia da Camera 7:30pm, $7-$33

At the Crossroads— Bargaining with the Devil and Arguing with God 7:30pm, $8-$20

UI Concert Jazz Band 7:30pm, $2-$6

Libretto: At the Crossroads 6:30pm, $6

Libretto: At the Crossroads 2pm, $6

Grant Support: Kurt Weill Foundation for Music, Inc.

Free, no tickets required; limited seating capacity

On The Rocks 9pm, $3

Summer Studio Theatre Company June 16-July 30

At the Crossroads— Bargaining with the Devil and Arguing with God 7:30pm, $8-$20 Deep Azure 7:30pm, free On The Rocks 9pm, $3

Rotating repertory theatre that brings you romance, intrigue, and suspense is the hallmark of each Summer Studio Theatre Company season. The intriguing Einstein and the Polar Bear by Tom Griffin and the Pulitzer Prize-winning, Thornton Wilder classic The Matchmaker offer up this season’s romance, while suspense prevails in Richard Harris’ Dead Guilty.

UI Philharmonia 7:30pm, $2-$6

At the Crossroads— Bargaining with the Devil and Arguing with At the Crossroads— God Bargaining with the Devil 3pm, $8-$20 and Arguing with God 7:30pm, $8-$20

Th May 4

On The Rocks 9pm, $3

Krannert Uncorked featuring Desafinado 5pm, free UI Symphony Orchestra 7:30pm, $2-$6

Summer Studio Theatre Company tickets go on sale in early May when season brochures become available.

333.6280 8 0 0 . K C PAT I X

Patron Season Sponsors Rosann and Richard Noel

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council— a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

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Corporate Power Train Team Engine Members

40˚ North and Krannert Center, working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

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stage, screen & i n b e t w e e n

T U C S ’ R O T DIREC R E B E R ROGE

L A V I T S E F M IL F D E OK O L R E V O S s T’

em g n ree c s n t h w g o i l n t o -k p e l s t t i s L U’ C l a ste

I

TIM PETERS • STAFF WRITER

t is a f ilm festival only f ive days long, with just 12 carefully chosen movies. All the screenings are at one theater, a restored old-fashioned cinema, and extras such as interviews and panel discussions are only a short drive away.

Many of the works are old, foreign, or independent — vaguely recognized or remembered — but that’s the point.

Ebertfest, which runs April 26 to 30 at the Virginia Theater in downtown Champaign, is different than other film festivals. It is not a mass scouting session for corporate studios to find upcoming talent. Nor is it a great pedestal for debuts and trial runs of major works. Rather, Roger Ebert’s Overlooked Film Festival is one critic’s public perusal of forgotten and ignored art. It is a social second look of honest and thoughtful movies displaced from the collective memory.

Ebert, an Urbana native, University alumnus, and current film critic for the Chicago Sun-Times, created the festival and chooses its line-up. He explained the motivation for an overlooked festival in an e-mail interview saying, “As a movie critic, I see a lot of films I believe deserve wider audiences. Also, I am interested in older films, and in formats such as silent films and 70mm widescreen.

“I thought such a festival would be an ideal way to draw attention to them. It would be a conflict of interest for me to ask studios for their new or unreleased films, but this way there is no conflict: Just a love of good movies.”

The Overlooked is a five-day discussion between a critic, the audience, and guest filmmakers. The schedule is exhausting, but set up so one person may attend all that is available. There is a breadth of activities, including a book signing at the Illini Union Bookstore and academic panel discussions at the Union.

The majority of the events and screenings are on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, with only one film each on Wednesday and Sunday. Ebert described that, in addition, “We have fairly extensive question-and-answer sessions after the movies, instead of perfunctory ones. We encourage guests to stay for the whole festival and get to know one another.”

Ebert is as integral to the long weekend as the films. When asked why other venues like nearby Boardman’s Art Theater are not used for concurrent screenings, the critic replied that “Audiences apparently expect me to introduce every film and do the question-and-answer afterwards, and I can’t be in two places at once.”

Ebert continued: “The current schedule seems to work well but is time-consuming enough for those attending all of the films that I think we have found the correct length. Then, too, I have a day job.”

The movies are a mix of genres, periods, and styles. Ebert chooses a silent film, a musical, a family film, undistributed INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

independent works, foreign cinema and others. On his selections, he said that, “I pick them purely by my feelings about them.”

There are no committees or objective criteria, just one experienced critic’s personal taste.

Actors, directors, writers, and other f ilmmakers of each selection are typically present for subsequent discussions. Also, certain features have become annual customs, like a Saturday, family matinee and a closing musical on Sunday. Also, the famously eclectic Alloy Orchestra accompanies the silent films.

Yet, the idea of “overlooked” is applied in different ways.

For instance, this year’s opening work is My Fair Lady, which is hardly an ignored movie. However, festival guest Marni Nixon’s contribution to the film was literally unseen — her singing was dubbed over for Audrey Hepburn’s Eliza Doolittle character. Nixon will be a festival guest, conversing about her career in Hollywood, both on- and off-screen.

Some of the other choices are recent, widely-released productions like the lewd Bad Santa, David Mamet’s thriller Spartan, or Danny Boyle’s Millions, a story of two British boys’ serendipitous discovery of countless cash. The foreign and musical feature is U-Carmen e-Khayelitsha, a South African adaptation of Bizet’s Carmen.

The silent film is The Eagle, starring the legendary Rudolph Valentino. There is also a documentary: Man Push Cart, about a Pakistani rock star-turned-street vendor. The rest of the lineup is composed of contemporary and unheralded works like Junebug, about small town life, and Claire Dolan, centering on a New York City prostitute. Additionally, there are Somebodies, an observation of life for young African-Americans, Ripley’s Game, starring John Malkovich, and Duane Hopwood, featuring David Schwimmer as a tragic alcoholic father.

Now in its eighth year, Ebert commented on the increasing regard for the Overlooked. He said that filmmakers and others are bringing many suggestions to him.

The eponymous critic added: “I am pleased by how many filmmakers and actors are willing to attend, and the fact that many of them stay for the whole time and are even willing to come back. This year, for example, will be the third for the wonderful actor Scott Wilson and the fifth or sixth for Michael Barker, co-president of Sony Pictures Classics.”

Ebertfest is a significant event for Champaign and Urbana, attracting out-of-town attendees and a glut of downtown activity for five consecutive days. But, despite the Virginia’s proximity to campus — only a mile away — student attendance is mediocre.

Ebert wondered: “I wish there were more students. The tickets and passes are not expensive. Are students so grade and goaloriented that they can’t spare the time for the festival?”

He said it plain: “We hold the festival, we bring the films and IN

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filmmakers, and the students can come if they want to. We do get a good number of students, but I wish we got more.”

In comparing CU’s current cinema scene to that of his youth, Ebert explained that there were many more theaters, including three on campus, one in downtown Urbana, and f ive in downtown Champaign. In addition to those venues, the University had two large f ilm societies, the Campus Film Society and Cinema Internationale.

He also pointed out that, “The theaters were booked with the knowledge that it was a college town. Now, the multiplexes seem to be booked with no awareness of the University, and the film societies have fallen victim to home video. Students were, in those days, very aware of classic and foreign films. Not so much today.”

Even if students are too busy or disinterested, the festival still draws a full house — the all-week passes sold out months ago.

Luckily, patrons can also purchase a limited number of walk-up tickets before each showing.

The Overlooked Film Festival is more than a consideration of one critic’s personal favorites. This five-day gathering is like looking at one’s bookshelf and pulling out that dusty, unopened volume. It is finding something new by researching the past.

Even attending just one screening can be a celebration of film in a pop society that often ignores its own culture.

sounds from the scene

“Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.”

Gene Fowler

Hey everyone - listen up! buzz is having its first fiction short story writing contest!

The winner of the contest will have his or her story published in Stage, Screen and in Between, be the subject of a short biography, and win $20 in gift certificates to Firehaus and The Office Now for the rules and regs: 1.) All short stories must be 1000-1500 words in length 2.) Submissions must be e-mailed to arts.buzz@gmail.com 3.) All works must be fiction

ALL SUBMISSIONS MUST BE E-MAILED TO ARTS.BUZZ@GMAIL.COM BY 5 PM ON THURSDAY, MAY 4.

16 â&#x20AC;˘

buzz weekly

I WAS AT THE MALL THE OTHER DAY, LOOKING FOR A JOB / GIRLFRIEND / PRETZEL.

Apr. 27

â&#x20AC;˘

M ay 3 , 2 oo 6

Junebug is a story about meeting in-laws and accommodating differences between families. It is nothing like Meet the Parents or Meet the Fockers.

The story follows a likable Chicago couple, Madeleine and George, who are recently married. Madeleine is a successful art dealer and he is from Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where she is traveling to meet a new artist. She demands to visit his family and upon meeting them, things get very interesting. It explores variation in behavior in the North and in the South, but without using stereotypes. Amy Adams was received an Oscar nod for playing Ashley, the young wife of Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s disappointing brother. Her character is kind to Madeleine and accepting. Adams and the rest of the cast do a phenomenal job acting a very well-written film. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Dan Brunner

BAD SANTA This hilarious adult blockbuster pits the journey of two alcoholic conmen against the tr ue mean ing of Chr istmas. Wi l l ie ( Bi l ly Bob Thornton), a fraudulent mall Santa, and Marcus (Tony Cox), Santaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s l ittle m idget helper, tour malls each year aiming to cash in by robbing them on Christmas Eve. This year, however, Willie must discover the fruits of Christmas cheer, with a little help from a boisterous eight-year-old and a steamy mall bartender. A lthough released in 2003, the Ebertfest version of Bad Santa is what director Terry Zwigoff calls the â&#x20AC;&#x153;world premiere of the Directorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cut,â&#x20AC;? and is expected to be [somehow] more explicit than the original. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Brent Simerson

MILLIONS â&#x20AC;˘ LEWIS MCGIBBON & ALEX ETEL

BAD SANTA â&#x20AC;˘ BILLY BOB THORTON

MY FAIR LADY

RIPLEYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GAME

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217.337.8382 showing a major film in its original 70 mm form.

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projector and the large screen As a fanany of the Tom Ripley movies, I must say In the f ilm Claire Dolan, director Lodge It requires a special signature for changes 217.337.8337 ' that I personally loved this latest installment to Ker r ig a n g ive u s a h au nt i ng ly d r y a nd of the Virginia Theater, but the results on the $

were not on original layout 217.337.8303 signature the saga, Ripleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Game. John Malkovich gives a great turn as the cultured yet revoltingly soulless Tom Ripley. What makes this film unique is that the movie focuses on the evils of Ripleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s character and the depravity he exudes, rather than on the character himself. In Ripleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Game, Tom convinces his neighbor Reeves, a terminally ill man desperate for money in order to support his family, to commit a murder for him. However, as the situations spirals out of control, Ripleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s casual game of murder and corruption takes a turn for the worst. One murder becomes many, and Reeves is thrust deeper and deeper into a double life that he desperately tries to detach himself from.

Ripleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Game will play at 8 p.m. Apr il 28 at the Virginia theater. Make sure that you make time for this overlooked gem. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jeff Gross

lonesome film about a prostitute trying to get out of the business. The strikingly real and powerful performances by Katrin Cartlidge and Colm Meaney along with the evocative cinematography of Teodoro Maniaci all but make up for a clichĂŠ and somewhat uninteresting plot.

While the ending to Claire Dolan is quite different than your standard â&#x20AC;&#x153;hooker trying to get out of the businessâ&#x20AC;? film, it nonetheless fails to escape the formula and become something unique.

While this f ilm may be overlooked, it not necessarily something that you should go out of your way to see. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an enjoyable watch for film buffs, but there are many better options this year at Ebertfest that you should check out first. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jeff Gross

SERENE FILMS JUNEBUG â&#x20AC;˘ AMY ADAMS

screen are often breathtaking. This process gives the eye twice the resolution of the traditional 35 mm process. 1964 Academy Award Winner for Best Picture, My Fair Lady was the first 70 mm print restored by new digital technology to its former glory in 1994; that is the print you will see at the Virginia Theater, and that is the print that is the basis for the DVDs of My Fair Lady.

Both DVD issues have commentaries by restorers Robert Harris and James Katz as well as Art Director Gene Allen and Marni Nixon who sung the vocals for Audrey Hepburn.

The real beauty here is that if you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make it to Ebertfest, this wonderful f ilm can be reproduced on your small screen from that 70 mm masterwork and, yes, it is loverly in every way. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jeff Nelson

DIMENSION FILMS

JUNEBUG

CLAIRE DOLAN â&#x20AC;˘ VINCENT Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ONOFRIO

SONY PICTURES CLASSICS

buzz brings you film reviews of some of the movies shown during Ebertfest

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ROGER EBERTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S OVERLOOKED FILM FESTIVAL THE FILMS

MILLIONS Millions is a new kind of f ilm from Danny Boyle, the director of Trainspotting and Shallow Grave. Unlike his previous character dramas, Millions deals with the virtuous side of human nature. The film is about a naive boy named Damian (an odd name for such a righteous person) who is obsessed with saints and doing good with his life. When a Nike gym bag filled with 265,000 pounds literally falls into his hands one day, Damian can only begin to imagine what to do with all the money. As Damian tries to help the poor, his older brother Anthony buys himself social power. Of course, the ideology behind the story revolves around the two aspects of money â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the sustaining side and the corrupting, overindulgent side â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and how it affects the characters in Millions.

The movie itself is gorgeous. The cinematography and visual style of the f ilm are fantastic, each frame is rich with vibrant colors.

Boyle puts his lighting technicians to full use in order to capture the philosophic nature of money in his light, using many bright, angelic blues and dark, obscuring yellows.

With a short theatrical run last April, Millions was rightfully picked for Ebertâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Overlooked Film Festival this year. Make sure you stop by the Virginia Theater at noon on Saturday, April 29 to check it out on the big screen one last time. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Jeff Gross

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Apr. 27

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M ay 3 , 2 oo 6

AMERICAN DREAMZ PAUL PRIKAZSKY â&#x20AC;˘ LEAD REVIEWER

A

rial debut and since then his talent has matured considerably from About a Boy to last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s In Good Company. But the ambitious story Weitz is trying to tell returns to the low-brow, sophomoric humor of four guys trying to get laid.

Dennis Quaid plays the dim-bulb president Staton. After his reelection, he suddenly decides to start doing his job and barricades himself in his room where he does something heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never done before: read the newspapers. Before long, America is wondering what has happened to their

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

merican Dreamz is ballsy. Ballsy enough to satirize politics and pop culture. And ballsy for the mockery it makes of all things American. But despite the content, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not particularly daring. Writer/director Paul Weitzâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s portrayal of the countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s problematic government and reality TV obsession effectively places the country under a microscope where no redeeming qualities are apparent.

It seems Weitz has come full circle in his career.

The teen sex romp American Pie was his directo-

AMERICAN DREAMZ â&#x20AC;˘ MANDY MOORE

looney president. To bolster his approval ratings, Vice President Sutter (Willem Dafoe) gets his boss a guest-hosting gig on a popular reality show.

American Dreamz is an American Idol knockoff where the self-loathing, cynical Brit, Martin Tweed (Hugh Grant) judges wanna-be contestants with the grace of a hungry wolverine. With a new season set to begin, Tweed finds new talent in Midwesterner Sally Kendoo (Mandy Moore), a girl with Kelly Clarkson-esque sweetness hiding her Machiavellian lust for fame.

Yet another contestant on the show is Omer (Sam Golzari), a show tune singing Arab who was booted from terrorist training camp and relocated to Orange County. When Omer makes surprising headway on American Dreamz, his terrorist buddies engineer a suicide assassination plot against Staton.

The promotional tagline for the film reads, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Imagine a country where the president never reads the newspaper. Where the government goes to war for all the wrong reasons. And where more people vote for a pop idol than their next president.â&#x20AC;? Wow. How scathingly brilliant. How gut-bustingly hysterical. It sounds like a joke, but hey! Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really our country. How clever Mr. Weitz is that he can slap the nation in the face with this kind of mind-bending insight.

A good satire cloaks present issues and concerns into something poignantly comical (or even bizarre) to get a message across. American Dreamz doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t try very hard to conceal its message and instead, aims straight for the proverbial groin.

Films like MASH and Dr. Strangelove were intelligent satires replete with an anti-war sentiment and clever comedic undertones. And American Dreamz doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a real message.

Its lack of subtlety is appalling. The film tries to be intelligent but comes off as pompous, bombastic and just plain old stupid. The performances, just like the plot, are dull and decidedly sub-par. Though itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funny at times, the comedy is cheap and exploitative.

THE SENTINEL

17

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I LIKE WHEN GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME, BUT I WAIT TWO WEEKS TO TELL ANYONE BECAUSE I LIKE TO USE THE WORD â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;FORT-NIGHT

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20TH CENTURY FOX

he Sentinel follows in a long line of thrillers whose focus is whodunit and whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in bed with who. The answers to these questions are generally not revealed until the end of a film, at which point the audience is either lost by the plethora of plot twists or just too uninterested to put the pieces together.

Often, the plot twists canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t logically be put together. A good example of that wou ld be a film like The Usual Suspects. The first bad example that came to mind was Saw. And who could help but mention Saw II? Clark Johnsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (S.W.A.T.) The Sentinel follows in the footsteps of Heat. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a showdown of the best versus the best. Pete Garrison (Michael Douglas) is a Secret Service agent assigned to the First Lady (Kim Basinger). Meanwhile, there is a mole in the Service plotting to kill the President, and uses the affair as leverage over Garrison. Kiefer Sutherland plays David Breckenridge, a slick investigator who is assiduous in his hunt for Garrison, who has since THE SENTINEL â&#x20AC;˘ MICHAEL DOUGLAS

sounds from the scene

been framed and must find the mole himself to prove his innocence.

The plot twists come and go throughout the movie. Some are legit, some not so. The conclusions are drawn out and predictable, but the film never loses sight of its focus. It doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get sidetracked by ridiculous subplots or wallow in the love affair too much.

The performances in this film are top notch.

Douglas is right on as the agent torn between a woman, a friend, a career and a hundred other things. Sutherland has honed his super agent role in 24 and brings an interesting and intelligent character to the screen. In 24, Sutherland plays a character who breaks protocol everyday. In The Sentinel, the tiniest infraction makes him fly off the handle. The first of many being the clothes his apprentice, Jill Marin (Eva Longoria), wears on her first day of work.

The Sentinel is a refreshing reprieve from the junk that comes out just after the Oscars. All it wants to be is entertaining. That it is.

We can do that.

For your next planned event or weekend meal.

E-mail Jim: Foudinis@hotmail.com

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Apr. 27

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M ay 3 , 2 oo 6

EMILY COTTERMAN â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

Dan Zaharopol is a mathematics graduate student at The University of Illinois at UrbanaChampaign. He got his Bachelorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in math at MIT. He is currently a TA for a business calculus class. He loves to study mathematics, specif ically algebra, topolog y, and a t ype of computer science called â&#x20AC;&#x153;computational com ple x it y t he or y.â&#x20AC;? He h a s t a u g ht a t MITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Educat iona l St ud ies Prog ra m and Experimental Studies group along with the Boston Math Circle.

them to think. I particularly strive for realistic characters, and a sense of being â&#x20AC;&#x153;in the moment.â&#x20AC;? I want the audience to get so caught up in what theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re seeing that they forget about the outside world for a while.

And above all, I want to move them emotionally.

Zaharopol, however, does have a creative side, as writing plays is his favorite hobby. This passion started when he took a playwriting class his senior year at MIT. His play Fidgeting at the Wheel was produced by MITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dramashop. Fidgeting at the Wheel will also be featured at the Krannert Center for Performing A r t s a s a pa r t of t he â&#x20AC;&#x153;O n t he Rock sâ&#x20AC;? ser ies of four one-act plays. â&#x20AC;&#x153;On the Rocksâ&#x20AC;? will be performed April 27 to 29 at 9 p.m. at the amphitheatre. Tickets are $3 and can be purchased at the lobby each performance evening.

Writing plays gives me a better command of language, which helps !"#$%&"'()*+%,-)./ me when I teach in class. It lets me !"#$%"&'&(&)*&+ describe examples in greater detail and it helps me to convey my own ,-./012345627-58092:5;<5!"#$=>5 ?@A9>5BCA95.3D58E1-+ intuition. Also, a lot of times in a ** ** Special Early Show at 7:00 p.m. Doors open at 6:00 p.m. play Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have to think about where !"#$ %&'()* +,-(. / to reveal certain facts and how to make sure the audience follows whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going on. I apply those same skills in teaching. !"#$%&'(#)*+#,'-#.#/0+123*45-(#6&78#94:*875 In a way, teaching and playwriting each help me develop the other.

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for any changesstories â&#x20AC;&#x201D; 217.337.8337 ' I try to think: what are my fears of other people. They help each other out a lot just day-dream.

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signature friendship with this person? Then now that I think about it â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d never considered about my217.337.8303 I write those fears. I give them to another this before. character, or I create a character who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t How did you get into such different interests â&#x20AC;&#x201D; have those fears but then they come true and !"#$%&'()*+),-%&(.'%/(01",-%2"3'%4'#')% math and art? the character has to deal with it. That way, Thursday, May 4 I end up writing about things Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve thought about: Well, my dadâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a mathematician, so that makes since I was scared of something happening, the math part easy. The truth is that even I wondered what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d do, how Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d feel. Then I I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t all that interested in math until I went put it into a play. to a summer camp called â&#x20AC;&#x201D; sadly enough â&#x20AC;&#x201D; â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mathcamp.â&#x20AC;? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great place; I still go back Oh, and I should mention that I also get now to teach to kids there. ideas while I read books â&#x20AC;&#x153;aboutâ&#x20AC;? playwriting.

Friday, May 5 - late 10 pm I actually disagree with most of them. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll lie Where do you get your ideas for your plays? there reading in bed before going to sleep and I with guests get angry at the book: â&#x20AC;&#x153;No, no, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong,â&#x20AC;?

Shipwreck, Kelpie I can think of two places I get ideas for plays â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s too rigid a structure,â&#x20AC;? etc ... but then, Saturday, May 6 from. Most important is just [from] â&#x20AC;&#x153;watch- just having thought about theater at all means ingâ&#x20AC;? people. I model a lot off of friendships that my mind gets going and I get other ideas.

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Does your outside interest in art influence your teaching style?

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PHOTO â&#x20AC;˘ AUSTIN HAPPEL

2006

Does your knowledge of mathematics affect your creative endeavors?

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been told that I have a good command of structure in the plays I write, which might come from having a mathematical mind. It lets me keep different threads going at once in my writing and in my charactersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; minds â&#x20AC;&#x201D; maybe it lets me â&#x20AC;&#x153;simulateâ&#x20AC;? their minds better and have all of them running around at once inside my brain.

Truthfully, though, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t often have detailed outlines for my writing. I tend to go and let the characters do what they will, which is different from how I do mathematics â&#x20AC;&#x201D; there I plan out a strategy to prove whatever problem Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m trying to solve.

What is your ultimate goal artistically?

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m kind of stuck with the â&#x20AC;&#x153;stock answerâ&#x20AC;? here: I want to entertain the audience and challenge

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19

book review WHEN THEY WERE 22 JENNY MCCARTHY â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

W

hen you put down a book like When They Were 22: 100 Famous People at the Turning Point in Their Lives, you have this feeling that you really can do whatever you want to do. When you were a kid and were told that you could be whatever you wanted to be â&#x20AC;&#x201D; this book reminds you of that wholesome time when that feeling felt like it could really become a reality. Brad Dunn did an excellent job of collecting a wide, rather eclectic variety of stories to include in his book.

Who knew that so many famous people had epiphanies at the age of 22? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the age Jackie O. was when she met JFK. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s when Jerr y Garcia f irst did acid and decided to become a musician. When Pope John Paul II became a priest and when Ringo Starr joined The Beatles. These stories arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t arranged in any particular order. The random jump from short story to short story, from prodigy to prodigy, leaves you feeling like you too could easily do the same things these people did.

While the book gets across its theme pretty strongly, I feel like it only lacks in one area: the stories are just too brief. At most, three pages are dedicated to any one person. Sometimes there are only a few short paragraphs. There were some stories I read that made me feel like I wanted to be connected and inspired by this person, but the story was

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SUHVHQWLQJ buzz ÂśV VW DQQXDO too short and just as I was getting into it, it was over.

And really, why does Sean Combs (aka P. Diddy) get three pages and Pope John Paul II gets two?

So in general, I would recommend that people read this book. It would make for an excellent graduation present, especially for a grad who really doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have any plans for after college.

dirt SHEET

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GOING ON IN THE ENTERTAINMENT WORLD ACCORDING TO ANDY VECELAS

In case you skip through the rest of the Stage, Screen, & in Between section just to read this column every other week, you might not know that the annual Ebertfest, a.k.a. Roger Ebertâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Overlooked Film Festival, is currently running at the Virginia Theater. For five days, Champaign plays host to a festival of recent film gems that sadly never got the attention they deserved.

With Roger Ebert hand-picking each of the festival films, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a safe bet that all are worth checking out at the Virginia this weekend, or at least at the local video store.

Mr. Ebert may be the king of film criticism, but heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the king of sexiness according to the Boston Phoenix. The tabloid recently ran a list of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;100 Unsexiest Men in the World,â&#x20AC;? in which Ebert came in third behind comedian Gilbert Gottfried and New York Yankees pitcher Randy Johnson. This list was capped off with heartthrob Brad Pitt at #100, reportedly because of rumors surrounding his personal hygiene. Let this serve as a reminder for all

sounds from the scene

you lonely guys out there: the 100th least sexy man in the world dumped Jennifer Aniston last year to hook up with Angelina Jolie, so thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably hope for the rest of you yet.

In a move that has mega-blockbuster written all over it, Variety is reporting that Miltonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s epic poem Paradise Lost is being adapted into a big-budget f ilm. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s already an adaptation of Beowulf directed

by Robert Zemeckis due out next year, so donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pretend to be shocked when a studio greenlights a film version of The Canterbury Tales starring Ben Affleck in the next few weeks.

Since this is technically an entertainment news column, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m obligated by law to report that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes became the parents of a baby girl last week. If you want to know more about it, look at any of the other thousands of media outlets providing up-to-the-minute coverage of Cruiseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Scientology practices regarding disposable diapers and car seats.

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20

the stinger kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

“Bitch Batch”--I’m guessing the sequel would be “Son of a...”

Across 1 Newsreader’s employer 4 First part of the New Testament 11 Horizontal, like this answer: abbr.

14 With 65-across, founding father of Taoism 15 Laertes’ sister 16 Wish you hadn’t 17 Labor gp. that focuses on metal 18 With “The,” punk-pop band who sang “Bitchin’ Camaro” 20 Plot once more 22 “Four and twenty blackbirds baked in ___...”

23 Gave a villainous look

25 Acting like a hidden rattlesnake 28 Drummer featured on Miles Davis’ “Bitches Brew” album 30 Suffix meaning “sorta” 31 Shaped like a dunce cap 32 Help wanted sign?

33 He did the #4 hit of 1974 “The Bitch Is Back” 37 Notre Dame coaching great Parseghian 40 Tree whose seeds give us chocolate 41 PRC rival 44 Her 1997 debut album included the hit “Bitch” 48 They might get you coll. credit 49 Zagat guide concern 51 “You can only ___ much...”

52 Prison keeper, in England 53 Singer of “Kyle’s Mom’s a Bitch” 59 Hell-handbasket link 60 Southwestern Colorado native 61 Andy who raps “Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = crazy delicious” 62 Bragg and Bliss, e.g.

63 Azerbaijan, once 64 1970s heartthrob Shaun 65 See 14-across Down 1 Smooshes together, as an image 2 Its bark is never worse than its bite 3 They can also be called “black-eyed”

4 Close temporarily, as a theater 5 Went first 6 Nostalgic vocal group ___ Na Na 7 Walker, on street signs 8 Dutch ___ 9 Roman deck count?

10 “Do the Right Thing” character 11 Ban targets 12 Tell about, as useful knowledge 13 Goes back on 19 Vegetable in the soup caldo verde 21 Cafe con ___ 24 Boils down, like an extract 25 Marks get taken by them 26 One of Pittsburgh’s rivers 27 About 25.4 mm 29 Whale swallow-ee 34 Calculator displays, for short 35 Michael of the Christian rock group dc talk 36 Original, in Ostia 37 Best Picture winner of the 1980s 38 School assignments 39 More bohemian 42 Sight on the slopes...

43 ...and what’s helped along by it 45 Gp. against workplace discrimination 46 Consideration 47 Flavored like a fruit 50 Shake an Etch A Sketch 54 Sine’s reciprocal, in trig: abbr.

55 Small battery size 56 Real estate listing abbr.

57 One network that reaired “Family Guy” 58 “___ want a hula hoop...”

Answers, pg. 23

Men: Go ahead and touch yourselves!

Just don’t forget the testicles.

Dear Kim & Kate: I was glad to see your article on oral sex and herpes simplex because there is misinformation and confusion about HSV1, HSV 2, and where each can occur/how each can be transmitted. I had a patient who got genital HSV1 from her boyfriend’s cold sores.

They didn’t know this was possible.

However, it would be more accurate to say “there are two types of herpes simplex virus”, than to say “there are two types of Herpes virus”. The term herpesvirus refers to several other viruses as well.

I get horrified looks when I tell people with shingles they have herpes zoster, and I have to quickly explain they don’t have that herpes.

According to the Center for Disease Control “the herpesvirus family...includes herpes simplex virus types 1 and 2, varicella-zoster virus (which causes chickenpox), and Epstein-Barr virus (which causes infectious mononucleosis), and cytomegalovirus (CMV). These viruses share a characteristic ability to remain dormant within the body for life.” Again, your article was well-written overall and I appreciate your efforts to educate the community, –Patricia Murdoch, CNP, APN Well put Patricia, thanks for writing in! This week, considering that we’re always giving our readers permission to touch themselves (not that you need our permission) we thought we would talk about testicular cancer and how touching yourself can be for more than just pleasure and can actually help you protect your health.

TESTICULAR CANCER (The information below was retrieved from the McKinley Health Center’s handout on testicular self exams, available on their website: www. mckinley.uiuc.edu).

• Although cancer of the testes accounts for only about 1 percent of all cancers in men, it is the number one cancer killer among men in their 20s and 30s.

• Testicular cancer develops more frequently in Caucasian men than in African-American or Asian males.

• Men with a history of undescended testicles are at higher risk.

• With early detection and treatment, 90 percent of those affected are cured.

TESTICULAR SELF EXAM: KNOW YOUR ANATOMY Before doing a testicular self exam, take a minute and picture your anatomy. Inside each scrotal sack is a testiscle, and on the top and back of the testiscle is the epididymis. The epididymis is a cord like structure that stores and transports sperm. It is important that you get used to the feel of your testes and the epididymis so you know what is normal for your body and

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so you don’t confuse the epididymus with an abnormal lump.

Before performing a testicular self exam (TSE), take a shower or bath. The heat from this will allow the skin of the scrotum to relax. TSE’s are easy, quick and well worth it.

Step 1: Stand in front of a mirror and look for any swelling. Remember that it is normal for one testicle to be slightly larger than the other, or to hang slightly lower than the other.

Step 2: Gently roll each testicle between the thumbs and foref ingers, using both hands to guide this motion. Find the epididymus. Once you are familiar with the how this feels, continue to roll the testicle between your fingers, feeling for any lumps. Lumps are usually pea-sized and painless.

Testicular self-exams should be performed once a month. It’s a painless procedure and greatly increases the chance of finding any abnormal lumps. Testicular cancer is highly curable, especially when it is detected and treated early.

WHAT IF I FIND A LUMP? Not all lumps are testicular cancer. If you do detect a lump, contact your doctor right away.

They will be able to guide you on a course of action. The lump may be due to an infection that your doctor can then detect and treat. Other signs to watch for, and report to your doctor include heaviness in either testicle, enlargement of a testicle or fluid that accumulates in the scrotum.

And when you’re done with your testicular self exam, feel free to continue touching yourself for pleasure. Keep in mind that during sexual arousal, the testicles also become engorged with blood, and become larger. The scrotal sack also thickens.

This is totally normal.

SEX 411 • Testicular cancer can be treated and cured. Early detection is key! Testicular self exams help you detect any abnormal lumps.

• All men should perform testicular self exams regularly (once a month) after a warm bath or shower.

Kim Rice & Kate Ruin are professional sex educators. Have a question or comment? Write in to riceandruin@yahoo.com sounds from the scene

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THAT RUG REALLY TIED THE ROOM TOGETHER.

21

free will astrology APR. 27 — MAY 3 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

Let’s put your salary in perspective. If you earn more than $2,182 per year, you’re wealthier than 85 percent of the world’s population. That’s according to www.GlobalRichList.com. Even though you’re pretty well-off, however, I’m going to dare you to ask for more. It’s the perfect astrological phase to do so. The omens suggest that you will attract benefactors and drum up cosmic support if you make even a half-assed attempt to get richer quicker. Homework: Write down three things you could do to raise your income.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

Recently I had minor eye surgery to close some tiny holes in my retina. It wasn’t a big deal--just a preventive measure-and it didn’t have any effect on my actual physical vision.

The best part of the experience happened because of the nurse who prepped me for the procedure. She used a felt-tip pen to write “YES” over my right eyebrow, ensuring that the surgeon wouldn’t aim the laser into the wrong eye. I didn’t wash off the “YES” until 24 hours after the operation, and was pleased at the unexpected effect it had. I found myself using my eyes more aggressively--with a greater hunger to study my surroundings. It was as if the written “YES” had given me a subliminal suggestion to switch on a figurative “YES” in my perceptual apparatus. Now I’m recommending this trick to you, Taurus. It’s a perfect astrological moment to perk up your seeing. I dare you to write “YES” over both of your eyebrows.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

On some days you work on creating your tapestry, weaving each thread with care and artistry. On other days you inexplicably unravel the same tapestry, undoing your fine efforts. Is there some hidden purpose in this maddening rhythm--a strategy I can’t fathom? Or is it fueled by a half-conscious compulsion you feel helpless to resist? Please get clear, Gemini, about what’s motivating you to take two steps forward, then two steps backward. I’d like to see you go at least three steps forward, two steps backward.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

“An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all,” said author Elbert Hubbard. I don’t know if I would go quite that far, but I do like the notion that the best ideas are disruptive to the status quo. Your mission in the coming weeks, Cancerian, is to flirt with and even embrace ideas like that--revolutionary perspectives that tend to undermine the way things have always been done and usher in fresh approaches to living the good life. For inspiration, you might want to check out The World Question Center (http://snipurl. com/lpik), which is collecting answers to the question “What is your dangerous idea?”

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

In the pagan calendar, the coming week brings Beltane, one of the major holidays of the year. Halfway between the spring equinox and the summer solstice, it marks a time of teeming fertility, when the life forces of the natural world are in full bloom, in our bodies as much as in plants and animals. At Beltane, many of us have access to more creativity than usual.

Our vitality may be at a peak and our libidos fully unfurled. The effect is enhanced for you Leos by the fact that you’re in the confidence-building phase of your personal cycle. As a result, you now have an excellent opportunity to get into the zone, where you can wield power with a playful spirit that’s nourishing to everyone whose life you touch.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

Bird-watchers in North Dakota are reporting a host of unusual sightings. A mountain plover has been spotted for the first time since the 1930s. The cormorant-like anhinga, which is native to swamps in southern climates, has also made an appearance. So has the Eurasian wigeon, a noisy duck that is rarely found outside of Europe and Asia.

In addition, there have been visits by five other species that are unknown in the area. What’s going on? Another byproduct of global warming and the weird effects it’s generating? Maybe. Whatever it is, Virgo, a metaphorically similar

sounds from the scene

experience will soon occur in your sphere. You’ll be mingling with life forms and natural phenomena that you’ve never come in contact with up until now.

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Will the truth set you free? Maybe, but first it will set you on fire, metaphorically speaking. Once you have been completely consumed by the flames and been reborn out of the ashes like the mythical phoenix, then you might be able to figure out how to use the truth to set yourself free--and to set others free as well. As long as you’re armed with the knowledge in this horoscope, Libra, the process won’t hurt as much as you might imagine. In fact, the predominant sensation may be exultation.

Here’s some homework to get you started: Write your three top fears on a piece of paper and burn it.

The Sun and Mercury are lighting up your astrological House of Relationships. Uranus, the planet of awakening, is animating your House of Creativity, and is in a sweetly harmonious aspect with the expansive planet Jupiter, which is invigorating your House of Beginnings. What does it all mean? You have a fantastic opportunity to experiment with the ways you conduct your intimate alliances. I suggest that you have major fun as you introduce previously undreamed-of innovations into your three best bonds.

“The biggest problem in the world could have been solved when it was small,” said the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu. Let this advice serve as an early warning, Sagittarius. Unless you pounce immediately, a simple little glitch will eventually turn into a huge, nightmarish puzzle. Luckily, you now have all the resources you need to dispatch the annoyance with relative grace and ease.

Here are your magic words for the coming week: spree, frolic, whoopee, carouse, escapade, fiesta, and siesta. Invoke them often as you act out their meanings. And if your research into the altered states they stir up results in complaints from people who’d prefer you to act like a predictable machine, I’ve written the following excuse note for you to give them: Please forgive Capricorns for departing from their routine behavior, including but not limited to disobeying orders, defying fate, sticking out their tongues, belly-laughing at odd moments, and dancing backwards on the tombstones of evildoers. They are currently under the influence of astrological factors that tend to dissolve inhibitions and awaken dormant joy.

for you, Aquarius--also known as Listen to Your Wild Heart Week and Honor Your Core Truths Week and Focus on the Juicy Gist Week. The best way to celebrate this priority-sharpening, attention-honing time is to get twice as serious about feeding the one dream that’s more important to you than all others. Now study the counsel of Malidoma Some, as expressed in his book Of Water and the Spirit: “No one’s center is like anyone else’s.

Find your own center, not the center of your neighbor, not the center of your father or mother or family or ancestor, but the center that is yours and yours alone.”

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

For six and a half months in 1881, James Garfield was President of the United States. More impressive than his modest accomplishments during his short time in office was his multilingual ambidexterity. He could write a passage in Latin with one hand even as he wrote in Greek with the other hand. That kind of skill reminds me of the aptitudes you will have in the coming weeks, Pisces. If you so choose, you’ll be able to take multitasking to profound new levels.

Juggling will be your ruling metaphor. You may even be able to make a beautiful mess with one hand while creating a dynamic peace with the other.

Homework: What famous historical personage were you in your past life? If you don’t know or weren’t really, make something up.

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Apr. 27

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art & theater [continued from calendar listings on pg. 12] Project 66: An Exploration of Utopia Inspired by the Works of Ilya and Emilia Kabakov [Project 66 is both an installation and a website created by a group of students from the School of Art and Design, the Department of Computer Science, and other campus units.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Pour la Victoire: French Posters and Photographs of the Great War [Graphically charged, lushly colored lithographic posters from World War I vividly depict the place of women in the war effort, the need for personal sacrifice on the home front, and the position of French colonial subjects.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 30 Designing Experiences: How Graphic and Industrial Design Shape Daily Life [Design is less about generating products than it is about creating experiences through products that satisfy functional, as well as spiritual, cultural, social, tribal, and emotional needs. This exhibition profiles everyday products and solutions to visual communication problems created by UIUC Graphic and Industrial Design Alumni, and includes information about the designers, the design process, and history of the products.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 30 School of Art + Design: Master of Fine Arts Exhibition [This annual exhibition represents the culmination of intense artistic development for graduate students in photography, industrial design, sculpture, painting, narrative media, metals, ceramics, and graphic design.]

Krannert Art Museum through April 30 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dust Memories,â&#x20AC;? Art Works by Aaron Hughes [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dust Memories,â&#x20AC;? art works by Aaron Hughes, is a series of drawings, paintings, and collages attempting to communicate the ambiguous and anxious moments of a deployment with the 1244th Transportation Company in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. This series of personal war images is Aaron Hughesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; effort to deconstruct the nostalgic war epic in order to convey the over-complex, monotonous anxieties of a personal war narrative.]

IPRH through May 5 Emergence II [An exhibition featuring works from international women] Verde Gallery through May 20 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Moments of Graceâ&#x20AC;? [â&#x20AC;&#x153;Moments of Graceâ&#x20AC;? is a photographic exhibit by Chris Main comprised of 35 images that pay homage to the first half of the 20th century. The artist utilizes vintage objects from the Depression era to suggest a universal moment in time or human experience.]

Pages For All Ages through May 14

Pippin [Pippin, a young prince searching for complete fulfillment, sets foot on the outside world. In his search, he valiantly decides to become a soldier. So, he joins his fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s campaign but he soon realizes that he thought, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be more plumes.â&#x20AC;?]

Station Theatre, April 27-30, May 3-7, 10-13 8 p.m., $15 At the Crossroads: Bargaining with the Devil and Arguing with God â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Soldierâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Taleâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mahagonny Songspielâ&#x20AC;?

[Out of the political unrest, social crises, and economic chaos of the early 20th century, composers Kurt Weill and Igor Stravinsky challenged public perceptions of opera and ballet with the creation of enduring musical theatre masterpieces reflecting on evil and human nature. With their popular musical language, compact theatrical settings, and use of dance, their â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;new operaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;new theatreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; works The Soldierâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tale and Mahagonny Songspiel illuminate human fascination with the dark side of our nature.]

Krannert Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cowell Playhouse, April 27-30 7:30 p.m., April 30 performance at 3 p.m., $20, $8

starting May 15th 730-815Brigh pmIdeas/LEX

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There is a for any changes that were not on original layout Onmade the Rocks: One-Acts [This yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plays include: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fidgeting at the Wheelâ&#x20AC;?

by Daniel Zaharopol, a drama about a father/daughter relationship, â&#x20AC;&#x153;State of Disunionâ&#x20AC;? by Meg Schleppenbach, a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the state of our nation, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Truth Behind the Silver Screenâ&#x20AC;? by Mark Sherbin, one manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take on how a few silver screen blockbusters should have worked out in real life, and â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Talkâ&#x20AC;? by Amanda Goddard, a humorous parental chat with their daughter about sex.]

Krannert Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Amphitheatre, April 27-29 9 p.m., $3

Run Dates: 4/13

Fencing For Fitness

signature

&

signature

$

signature

New Beginning Fencing 1 Class Registration at The Point 500 N. Walnut Champaign, IL 61820 217-352-0722 www.thepointfencingclub.com

Deep Azure [Enjoy a staged reading of this hip-hop play inspired by a true story about the death of a student at the hands of corrupt police and his girlfriendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fight for justice.]

Krannert Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Studio Theatre, April 28 7:30 p.m., free MacBeth McKinley Foundation, April 28-29 8 p.m., free 3 Spot Dance Troupe Lincoln Hall Theater, April 30 1 p.m., $5

Every 11/2 Hours 7 Days a Week

24 HOUR

Parkland College Fine Art Student Juried Exhibition [artwork from students in Photography, Painting, Drawing, Metals, Sculpture, Three-Dimensional Design, and Ceramics] Parkland Art Gallery through May 6

RESERVATIONS (217) 352-6682 www.IlliniExpress.com

Clothesline Project Display [The Clothesline Project is a display of t-shirts created by survivors of sexual and domestic violence. Each shirt commemorates a particular womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experience with violence. A space will be set aside for individuals to make their own shirts for the display.]

Independent Media Center through April 29 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Through Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eyes: An Art Exhibitionâ&#x20AC;?

[This personal exhibit is on display from April 26-30 with an opening reception.]

112 Gregory Hall through April 30, $2 students/$3

$" (

217.337.8382 "

217.337.8337 ' 217.337.8303

!%# ' $ $" $ &

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Employment 000

106 DANIEL, C.

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Apartments

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Fall 2006. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kyle, 202-7240.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

For August 2006. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

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1 Br. $395 2 BR. $495 3 BR. $750 4 BR $855 Campus. 367-6626.

"1"35.&/54

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Available Fall 2006. 1 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign.

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Fall 2006. Efficiencies. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

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307 & 310 E. WHITE 307 & 309 CLARK Fall 2006 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

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705 W. Stoughton 3 bedroom apartment Spacious living area. Communal balcony & great backyard. Plus a bar area in kitchen.

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23

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IDEAL LOCATION NEAR CAMPUS West Springfield Ave. New upscale townhomes feature 3 BR/ 2.5 BA, ceramic tile in kitchen, all silver metallic appliances. Living room leads to private patio. Vaulted ceiling in master bedroom suite. 1 car garage. Starting $179,900. Call Ellen at The Brokers R.E. 3569002.

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