Buzz Magazine: April 28, 2005

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OH YEAH. CAROL AND I MADE A MOVIE.

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EDITOR’S NOTE

Cover Design • Hannah Bai Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Carol Mudra Copy Chief • Stacey Ivanic Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Brian Warmoth Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Susie An Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Adam Obendorf, Sue Janna Truscott, Glenn Cochon, Claire Napier, Hannah Bai, Brittany Bindrim Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner Photography • Sarah Krohn, Adriana D’Onofrio Copy Editors • Jen Hubert, Nellie Waddell Staff Writers • Matt Pais, Randy Ma, Martha Reggi, John Loos, Brian Warmoth, Imran Siddiquee, Todd J. Hunter, Jennifer Crabill, DJ Bozak, Courtney Hrejsa, Brian Klein, Emily Cotterman, Syd Slobodnik Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Logan Moore, Jeff Nelson Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail:

buzz@readbuzz.com write:

57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call:

217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

© Illini Media Company 2005

APARTMENTS

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

INDEX

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know this is going to sound kind of sad, but on Tuesday I took my first real visit to McKinley Health Center as an actual patient. Sure, I had been to McKinley before, but it was only because a friend was sick, and I was keeping them company or something in that vein.

But Tuesday I went as a patient. I needed to see a doctor. And going to a place commonly called McKillme didn’t instill confidence in the place’s ability to fix me.

Hell, I don’t even like going to the doctor. I put it off as long as I can. I’m one of those people who denies the crap out of being sick. I’ll be coughing up a lung, blowing my nose every three seconds and feeling miserable, but I’ll swear I’m not getting sick.

My usual remedy to illness? Orange juice and vitamin C.Yes, that’s a bit overkill. But I like to think it works, dammit. And tea.

You can never have too much tea when you’re sick, at least that’s what my mom taught me. “Drink plenty of fluids,” she always said. 7-Up works, too, but I prefer my orange juice and tea.

This past weekend when I started feeling sick and denied it, I bought extra orange juice, drank a crap load of tea and got sleep.

But on Tuesday I woke up and couldn’t swallow effectively enough to drink my orange juice. Fearing the worst, I went into the bathroom and looked at my tongue, which was white. Of all the things I remember from getting strep throat every year as a kid, my mom always freaked out when my tongue turned white.

So I bit the bullet and dragged my sorry ass to McKinley, without an appointment, to get checked out. Amazingly, I waited less than an hour, got checked out, told that I probably had strep and was given antibiotics and pain killers.All in McKinley, all for free.

As much as people complain about the place, I was pretty impressed with it. Of course, who isn’t impressed with free pain killers? Now someone pass the Vicodin.

Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

- Paul

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937 Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY

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DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

Nonprofit, professional, scientific association seeks technical editor for monthly research journals. Candidates must have superior language skills, the ability to understand the conventions of primary scientific literature, and formal training or experience in English grammar and usage. Bachelor’s degree is required; master’s degree is preferred. Preference will be given to those with previous editing experience in an online environment, strong computer skills, and familiarity with the Internet and online publishing. Experience with databases (MS Access) and knowledge of XML are desirable. Duties will include editing scientific manuscripts electronically for style, grammar, and format; working with figures and tables; correcting and assembling issues; manuscript tracking; and miscellaneous publication tasks.

Competitive salary and excellent benefits.

TO apply, send a letter of interest, resume, and salary requirements to Technical Editor Search, FASS, 1111 N. Dunlap Ave., Savoy, IL 61874. No phone calls please.

EOE. Deadline for application is May 6, 2005.

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

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1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking.

Fall 04, 367-6626

Full/Part Time

105 E. John

Available Jan 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480.

1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. $320/month. Available June 1 and August ‘05.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

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Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease!

Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living.

3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign.

3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!)

4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!)

High-speed internet, water, and trash included!

Laundry in building.

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www.lookatusedcars.com 1990 Toyota Supra, 5-speed, looks, runs, and drives great. $3200 obo.

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Apartments APARTMENTS

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APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

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HELP WANTED

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

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Volunteer & Outreach Coordinator, Habitat for Humanity. Full-time professional. Recruit, train, and coordinate volunteers for homebuild projects and HOMEWORKS store; publicize achievements, events, and volunteer opportunities; and assist with organizational marketing. Full description and requirements at cuhabitat.org. To apply: Send resume, cover letter, and 3 references to: Habitat Director, 40 E. University, Champaign, IL 61820 or director@cuhabitat.org. Deadline 5/9.

Transportation 300

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APARTMENTS

Technical (Copy) Editor

Billed rate: 35¢/word

BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

For August 2005. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Office at 309 S. First, Champaign.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

207- 211 JOHN

Fall 2005 Prime Campus Location 2, 3 Bedrooms THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4 For after hours showings, please call Chad, 202-8517.

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CONGRATULATING MYSELF ON WATCHING ALL 7 SEASONS OF BUFFY.

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

509 E. White, C.

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

602 E. Stoughton

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments.

All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!!

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court.

Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C.

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

FREE IPOD SHUFFLE TO EACH TENANT! 2 houses. 3 1/2 blocks from quad.

606 & 608 E. Stoughton. 8 bedroom, 3 bath. Available June 1, 2005. $2300/mo, $2200/mo. plus utilities.

Free parking. (630)205-4889.

NEED A 1 BR!

440

1 BR. Available Now. Parking included. 6th & Stoughton. $400/mo plus utilities. 630-205-4889

Other Rentals 500

Super nice 3BR/2 bath ranch house with oak floors, new W/D. 2 car garage. On Race St. near Windsor Rd. in Urbana. Close to Meadowbrook Park and Vet Med. PET FRIENDLY! Only $1295/month!

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Eight to Nine Bedroom Fall, Campus, $2850 367-6626

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Vegetarian meals? Affordable private rooms? www.couch.coop

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

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1 bedroom, near campus $300 per month 367-6626

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APARTMENTS

• Clean 1 & 2 Bedrooms • Superior • Dependable, 24hr. management NOW LEASING maintenance • Short-term Leases FOR FALL • Free Parking • 24 Hour Courtesy • On Busline Gate House

510

2 bedroom and 7 bedroom house on campus for Fall 2004. 367-6626.

HOUSES

NICE AND NEW!!! $1180/month 4 Bedroom/ 2 Bathroom House Quiet Neighborhood 10 minutes from campus, Central A/C, Washer/Dryer, 2 Car Garage. Available Furnished or Unfurnished. Call Today ask for Justin: 217-621-2782

BIG RANCH!

Convenient 1 bedrooms near downtown Champaign now available.

From $390.

508 W. Hill, C. 511 W. University, C. 515 W. Washington, C. These and other apartment locations also available for leases starting throughout the summer. 352-8540, p.m. 355-4608 www.faronproperties.com

HOUSES

510

430

Unfurnished

SUBLETS

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359-5330 359-5330

Hours: M-F 9-5 Sat 9-1 • www.westgateapts.net

Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

OPPORTUNITY Enjoys working in a high paced environment Enjoys working with others Great sales person Looking for a challenging and rewarding job that looks great on a resumé Detail oriented Here for Summer and Fall ‘’05 If this is you, then you should think about a job with the Daily Illini Classified Department.

Stop by the office at 57 E. Green, Champaign for more information and an application, or call 337-8337.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

jonesin crossword puzzle Across 1 Guess? product 6 “Assuming that that’s true...”

10 Workout target 13 Radiant 14 Sand castle-making need 15 Victoria’s Secret’s IPEX, e.g.

16 Does something 19 Cleveland cager 20 Designer Wang 21 Dark shade 23 Dr. who turned 40 in 2005 25 CCXI times V 27 Signature of a Southern general 28 Subject of a 2005 MLB inquiry, slangily 30 ___ Cruces, N. Mex. 32 Was comfortable 35 Spots in high school 36 Characteristic quality 38 The Get Up Kids’ genre 39 Seek out 40 Like a rind 41 Word following a sigh 42 “___ bin ein Berliner” 43 Part of a 2004 “wardrobe malfunction” 44 Pick 6 game 45 Sartre play set in a hotel room

47 Highest degree 48 Tel ___ 49 River that causes people to forget 51 Coll. period 53 Bar opener?

54 Suitable person?

57 Mil. personnel 59 Inductee to the Hockey Hall of Fame at age 31 60 Capital of the Northwest Territories 64 Mo. whose birthstone is turquoise 65 “The King and I” setting 66 Flip ___ 67 Mount St. Helens output 68 Watch the bar or the goal 69 Streisand-as-a-boy flick Down 1 David James Elliott’s show 2 It may need a boost 3 Headache medicine administered to a creepy butler?

4 Site for some studs 5 Locust group 6 NASDAQ opener 7 Half-human, half-goat creature

8 Ravi Shankar’s instrument 9 Pizza topping specially designed for Oregon and Washington?

10 Network merger between an American company and a French one?

11 End of an Oktoberfest quaff 12 Command near “Open” 17 Dance held in honor of a 1970s self-help genre?

18 “Breathing Lessons” author Anne 22 ___ Paese (cheese choice) 23 Bring home, as a cat with its prey 24 Elaborate architectural style 26 Hold in high esteem 29 ___ volente (God willing) 31 Saddam’s mate, on “South Park” 33 They’re ruled by Qabus ibn Said 34 UN focus 37 They may hold fishing tackle 41 APB abbr.

43 Part of a phrase meaning “small”

46 Gen-___ 50 Jodie, in “Contact” 52 Longtime “Wide World of Sports” host Jim 54 Frank Oz character 55 Refined matters 56 Custard served with caramel 58 “___ Upon a Mattress” 61 Group whose “If You Leave” was written for “Pretty in Pink” 62 Physically up to it 63 Photo lab order: abbr. ©2005 Jonesin’ Crosswords(editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute.

Must be 18+.

Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548.

Reference puzzle #0203.

AP R . 28

M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

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AP R . 28

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M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

uNDER c OVER |1-5| 2 2 4 5

|6-9| 6 7 8

| 10 - 13 | 10 11 12 12 12 13 13

| 14 - 17 | 16

| 18 - 20 | 18 19 19 20 20

| 21 - 24 | 21 21 21 22 22 22 23 23

| 25 - 26 | 25 26 26

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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NO! IT’S NOT A PORN! SICKO

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under the cover

INTRO

Editor’s Note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow News of the Weird • Chuck Shephard First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN Racial Boundaries • Toccara Castleman q + a with Yoon Pak The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Flook interview • Kyle Gorman Sting at Assembly Hall • Kyle Gorman Blueprint review • DJ Bozak Sensation Junkies review • Brian Klein The Hurly-Burly • Logan Moore Sound Ground #73 • Todd J. Hunter Parasol Charts

MAIN EVENT Bob n’ Dave • Dave King

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT Staging Life • Emily Cotterman Romeo & Juliet review • Syd Slobodnik Jennifer Government review • Brandt Glan (Th)ink • Keef Knight Artist’s Corner with Alistair Slaughter

THE SILVER SCREEN Loos Ends • John Loos The Interpreter review • Paul Prikazsky Photo Poll • The Interpreter Kung Fu Hustle review • Brian Nichols The Upside of Anger review • John Loos Movie time listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson Drive Through Reviews

THE STINGER

PHOTO • SARAH KROHN

I LOVE DEADLINES. I LIKE THE WHOOSHING SOUND THEY MAKE AS THEY FLY BY.

THE

26 • b u z z w e e k l y

Alistair Slaughter and his poetry.

p. 20

Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Life in Hell • Matt Groening

CLASSIFIEDS

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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IT’S DAMN FUNNY. AND ABSTRACT, EVEN.

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Bad habits are like A COMFORTABLE BED,

y o u r e v e r y d a y n e w s but hell, we’re weekly

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easy to get into, but hard to get out of.

wEiRd

The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expen $ ive.

-Anon

John Sladek • Author

chuck shepherd

DRIVE THRU REVIEWS C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

LEAD STORY While Congress and the sports world are busy condemning the use of steroids as “cheating,” golfer Tiger Woods and other athletes have already artificially enhanced their natural abilities with impunity through Lasik eye surgery (improving vision to 20/15 or 20/10). More ominously, according to a Wired magazine story in March, the time will soon come when perfectly healthy baseball pitchers and other athletes choose so-called “Tommy John surgery” (until now performed only to repair ruptured arm ligaments), which can make an elbow even stronger than it naturally was, allowing pitchers to achieve higher velocity than ever. Other predicted enhancements include the removal, reengineering, and re-insertion of leg, arm and shoulder muscle cells to add strength.

C A N ’ T P O S S I B LY B E T R U E — The North Dakota legislature voted in April to ease licensing for carrying concealed

weapons by removing the shooting test (to hit a miniature human silhouette at 21 feet), but that was over the objection of licensee Carey McWilliams, 31, who told an Associated Press reporter in March, “You’ve got to have standards.” McWilliams, who hit the target 10 out of 10 in his most recent test, is legally blind, able to distinguish only shades of light (thus apparently giving new meaning to “concealed weapon” when he looks for his).

— Veteran criminal George Kaminski, 53, complained in March to a Sharon (Pa.) Herald reporter about his most recent prison assignment, to a minimum-security facility in Mercer, Pa., because the grounds were short on clover.

Kaminski has collected 72,927 four-leaf clovers in the last 10 years, entirely on the grounds of various prisons, but he is alarmed that an Alaskan man now claims to have 76,000 and has applied to the Guinness Book for recognition.

“The (Alaskan) guy’s got the whole world,” said Kaminski,“(but) I have two or three acres.”

Money is power.

Use some for good.

• When you walk into a really nice restaurant or upgrade your computer, you feel the rush of the power of money.

— The Netherlands Healthcare Inspectorate issued a report in March accusing some dermatologists at the Erasmus Medical Center in Rotterdam of concealing the local outbreak of a sexually transmitted disease in 2003 just so they could publish a first-in-time article about it in the Journal of Clinical Infectious Diseases later that year. Infections of lymphogranuloma venereum went from 14 at the time of initial outbreak to more than 100 now. (The EMC doctors acknowledged not reporting the initial outbreak, but said the disease was not at that time on the list of diseases required to be reported).

not criminally charged. (An officer asked him, “When you threw the knife, what did you expect the dog to do?”)

— Burglars who fall asleep on the job is a retired News of the Weird category, but Steven Jakaitis, 42, was arrested in Quincy, Mass., in March outside a CVS pharmacy, where police said he fell asleep while preparing to rob the place. His car was idling; a stocking was on his head and a pistol in his pocket; and the piece of paper beside him read,“I have a Gun DO NOT Press any Alarms or let Custermors (sic) know Empty the All (sic) the register.”

LEAST COMPETENT PEOPLE

U P D AT E

— A 24-year-old woman was hospitalized in April in Nassau County, N.Y., after her boyfriend, tossing sticks to his dog, decided to toss his knife, instead, but the knife’s handle loop caught on a finger when he flung it, and it snapped back, lodging in the woman’s neck.

She corroborated the story, and the man was

As many as 10 percent of Japanese youths may be living in “epic sulks” as hermits (“hikikomori”), according to a March Taipei Times dispatch from Tokyo, thus representing no improvement in the already alarming problem that was described in a News of the Weird report in 2000. Many of the hikikomori, in fact, still live in their parents’ homes and simply never leave their bedrooms. Among the speculation as to cause: school bullying, academic pressure, poor social skills (after obsessively whiling away hours at video games), unaccessible father figures, and an education system that suppresses youths’ sense of adventure.

STRESS RELATED PAIN? Chiropractic Honors

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• Why, then, do we feel helpless about a world in need?

• Think your contribution is only a drop in the bucket?

Think again: A full bucket is made up of lots of drops.

• You CAN make the difference. When you’re in the church, you’re not alone.

• Feel your power. And use some for good.

Power for good. That’s something.

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

INEXPLICABLE — John W. Hill of High View, W.Va., was arrested near St. Louis in March after sheriff ’s deputies had stopped to investigate why he was parked alongside I-70. He was shirtless, wearing an Indian vest, cargo pants and combat boots, had several loaded pistols, an assault rifle, a two-shot Derringer, two long rifles, a serious knife, 400 rounds of ammo and various drugs.

He said only that he was headed to South Dakota Indian country to deliver supplies and a sack full of Bibles to children, and that he was armed because the West is “dangerous.” He was charged with possessing a loaded weapon while intoxicated.

— A British farm couple recently handed officials of the East Lindsey District Council a surveillance video of an elderly couple that they said have been driving by from time to time and leaving pairs of new shoes (with price tags still affixed) on their property, with no explanation.The farmers, Jason and Claire Foster, said more than 30 pairs have been dropped off since December, and the council’s investigation was continuing, according to a March BBC News report.

COPYRIGHT 2004 Chuck Shepherd Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate

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GUESS WHO 1.5 STARS

to do with money that you haven’t earned, these boys show that the greatest riches they have are each other. (Matt Pais)

Ashton Kutcher & Bernie Mac Hollywood is in dire need of fresh ideas. Reversing race roles in a remake just doesn’t work. Guess Who should have been called Meet the Black Parents. For its unoriginality, stay at home and play Guess Who. And I mean the game. (Paul Prikazsky) HIDE AND SEEK 1.5 STARS Robert DeNiro & Dakota Fanning Hide and Seek relies on a climactic twist to deliver its psychological payoff, but here the major revelation deprives the film of any intellectual insight, not to mention its already-weak grasp on reality. As far as horror movies go, Hide and Seek is pure child’s play. (Matt Pais) HITCH 2.5 STARS Will Smith and Eva Mendes Hitch is high-concept Hollywood fluff, yet, for the most part, it works because of its focus on chivalry and love and not sex and debauchery. There’s also a perfect niche for Hitch as a movie that, like an issue of Cosmo, can both entertain and court women, while teaching guys a few things about falling in love. (Matt Pais) HOTEL RWANDA 2.5 stars Don Cheadle & Sophie Okonedo A high-profile starring role has been a long time coming for Don Cheadle, and it’s a pleasure to see the charismatic character actor drive Hotel Rwanda with patience and quiet strength. Too bad Terry George’s highly dramatized retelling of the 1994 political crisis that left one million people dead never achieves the chaotic horror of the real-life tragedy. (Matt Pais)

MISS CONGENIALITY 2 2 STARS Sandra Bullock & William Shatner Whether we asked for it or not, Sandra Bullock is back in Miss Congeniality 2 to try and strain a few more laughs from an already used idea. While Miss Congeniality was fresh and original, its sequel falls flat on its face lacking any of the comedy that made the first a surprise hit. (Brian Nichols) THE PACIFIER 1 STAR

Vin Diesel & Lauren Graham Maybe if Diesel wanted to make one for the kids he just had to accept that his tough guy image would be toned down a notch. Maybe he didn't mind. With the money, women and political office his predecessors have pulled in, he probably couldn't wait for someone to walk in his agent’s office offering a multi-milliondollar Disney flick. The kids get a kick out of this stuff, but most of the sixth-grade-educated audience is lucky to get through these scenes without eating their own arms off. (Andrew Crewell) THE RING TWO 1 STAR

Naomi Watts & Sissy Spacek Troubling for all the wrong reasons, The Ring Two never makes a strong case for its own existence. The biggest letdown about the movie is that it fails to significantly advance the story, something a reporter like Rachel should understand is crucial in a follow-up effort. Like the video that provides the premise, it’s a wonder that anyone would still be interested in watching something of this nature. It might not kill you, but don’t take the chance. (Matt Pais)

MAN OF THE HOUSE

ROBOTS 2 STARS

1.5 stars Tommy Lee Jones & Cedric the Entertainer Only a true pessimist could have predicted that, 12 years after accepting an Oscar for his work in The Fugitive, Tommy Lee Jones would be sticking his hand up the south end of a cow in the lowbrow fish-out-ofwater comedy Man of the House. For some reason, it took three writers to put together this nonsense, and not one succeeded in making it funny. (Matt Pais)

Ewan MacGregor & Robin Williams Most of Robots is surprisingly dull and desperate to entertain, including several jokes that don’t even make sense in a robot society. (Seriously, metal detectors just aren’t practical.) The transitions are choppy, an extended farting sequence is downright despicable, and for all its attempts to look like an animated-film upgrade, structurally, Robots never really tries to rage against the machine. (Matt Pais)

MILLION DOLLAR BABY 3 STARS

SAHARA

Clint Eastwood & Hilary Swank It does take an unexpectedly dark twist toward the end that should knock most viewers back a few steps. Yet, Million Dollar Baby never swings hard enough to send you reeling. It’s enough to win a judge’s decision, but it’s no knockout. (Matt Pais)

1 star Matthew McConaughey & Penelope Cruz There is certainly an unfitting clash of action and comedy in Sahara. The characters are laughed at, not with, and they deserve to be. Action-comedies do not need to give up on characters and story to provide action and comedy. (David Just)

MILLIONS

SIN CITY 3.5 STARS

Lewis McGibbon & Alex Etal There’s a tenderness here that belongs to Etel and McGibbon, two fine young actors who not only embody their own parts but play off one another so well that they work marvelously as brothers. The movie is undeniably theirs, two performers whose total age is under 20 but possess an innate honesty beyond their years. In a movie concentrating on what

Bruce Willis & Mickey Rourke Sinfully sexy and deliciously entertaining, Sin City is pumped with more testosterone and male fantasies than a Las Vegas bachelor party. If you can get past its boorish, hyper-macho approach to the sexes, director Robert Rodriguez will plunge you deep into a seedy, intoxicating world of sleaze, deception and revenge. (Matt Pais)

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a s t r o l o g y

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ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

A huge supply of frozen natural gas lies beneath the oceans.

Researchers have just begun to develop the technology to mine it.

When they succeed, civilization will gain access to more energy than is available from all the world’s oil reserves. This tantalizing prospect reminds me of your situation, Aries. You’re sitting on a reserve of metaphorical fuel that could power your efforts for quite some time. Now all you have to do is figure out a way to get at it.

(Thanks to Stephen Leahy of Wired News for the info on the frozen natural gas.)

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

Even if you’re not an artist, you’re a creator. You’re constantly hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do. It’s to this part of you—the restless, inventive spirit—that I address the following: It’s a perfect time for you to cultivate increased respect and reverence for your creativity.

Tap in to the dormant potential of your amazing imagination. Feel confident about your ability to generate novelty. Realize how much power you have to change anything you want to change. Here’s your inspirational motto, courtesy of sculptor Constantin Brancusi: “Create like God, command like a king, work like a slave.”

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

A lot of antifreeze tastes sweet even though it’s toxic. That’s a big problem for dogs and children, who sometimes come upon spilled or open containers of antifreeze and drink it. New Mexico is one of the first places in the world to pass a law making it mandatory for antifreeze to be bitter-tasting, thus discouraging innocents from imbibing it. This should serve as a metaphor for you in the coming week, Gemini. Your inner child or inner pet may be drawn to ingesting experiences that are delectable but noxious. Have your inner adult take steps to ensure this won’t happen.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

I won’t protest if you resort to some outrageous showmanship to boost your cause, Cancerian. I won’t judge you harshly if you try to walk the fine line between creative storytelling and over-the-top BS. Just make sure that you’re always motivated more by fun and idealism than by self-aggrandizement. It’s time to use all your tricks and call on all the favors you’re owed as you sell your self without selling your soul.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

You’ve been given a prophetic glimpse of the great victory that’s possible. You’re very close to neutralizing an old bugaboo and making sure that the past will no longer hold you back. Now comes the hardest part: Will you be able to sustain your concentration until the triumphs are actually accomplished? Or will you be lulled into lazy complacency by the sense of security that your partial breakthroughs have provided? Personally, I believe you will summon the dogged ingenuity necessary to finish the job; you will turn almost into completely.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

If I were going to write a fairy tale about the current state of your life, I would say that your stolen treasure is locked away in a heart-shaped metal box at the top of a glass mountain. You have every right to steal it back, but you haven’t been able to get to it. The surface of the mountain is too slippery for you to climb. In the next chapter of the fairy tale, you will encounter an elf or dwarf or witch who has a pair of special shoes with suction cups that could allow you to scale the peak. But you will have to give something in return for those shoes.

And here’s the tricky part: The elf or dwarf or witch may not tell you exactly what he or she wants; you might have to guess.

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has led to economic turmoil in both areas. I mention this, Libra, because I think it resembles a feeling you’re currently harboring.

A part of you is longing for the bad old days when a now-defunct obstacle was a fixture in your life. You’re romanticizing the protection that the obstacle offered and forgetting how oppressive and limiting it was. It’s OK to entertain the fantasy of restoring the wall—in fact, I recommend that you do—but don’t you dare actually restore it.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

For a limited time only, everything will be pretty much the reverse of what it usually is. Do you have an unlucky number? In the coming week, that number will be a sign that good fortune is nearby. Do you have qualities that you regard as weak or undeveloped? You can now make them work to your advantage. What are the things you’re afraid of? Deal frankly with them and you will stimulate a big boost in your courage. Are you weary of worrying about your enemies? They are about to become great teachers, maybe even helpers.

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

You’re entering into the thick of the problem-solving phase of your astrological cycle, Sagittarius. Your dilemmas are probably heating up, becoming more frustrating and time-consuming. What’s more important to know, however, is that you now have a heightened power to fix those dilemmas. In fact, I predict that soon after reading this horoscope, you’ll find you have access to unprecedented levels of wild but disciplined determination. As you go about your work, keep in mind Buckminster Fuller’s standard for measuring his effectiveness: “When I am working on a problem,” he said, “I never think about beauty. I think only of how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.”

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You may have trophies, merit badges, and plaques to commemorate your sexual accomplishments, Capricorn. You may have a PhD in tantra and letters from past lovers testifying to your excellence as an erotic partner. Nevertheless, I believe you have more to learn. There are frontiers you have not yet explored. And this is the perfect time for you to push to the next level. Open your mind and heart to the possibility that you’re ready to upgrade the way you stir up emotionenriching, soul-expanding bliss.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I was looking for a house to rent. A real estate manager gave me a tour of various houses that were available. At one place the occupants weren’t home, but the manager had the key to the door and permission to enter. As she led me around, we came upon the master bedroom. A huge German shepherd was on the bed. I reflexively withdrew, afraid the dog would attack the strangers in its house. But it didn’t bark, pounce, or even growl. On the contrary, it shivered with fear. Its protective instincts seemed paralyzed. I think the dog’s behavior was an apt metaphor for the current state of your own inner guardian, Aquarius—you know, the fierce part of your psyche that defends your interests. It’s unnaturally timid and hesitant, and is thus not primed to do its job properly. Do whatever it takes to cure it of its malaise.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

After rejecting proposals from many directors, Bob Dylan has finally authorized Oscar-nominated Todd Haynes to make a film about his life. Seven different actors will portray Dylan, including a black woman. “I am setting out to explode the idea that anybody can be depicted in a single self,” Haynes told The Sunday Times. You already explode that idea every week of your life, Pisces, and you will be exploding it with even greater force and style in the coming days.

I encourage you to be proud of your own riotous multiplicity. It’s something to be celebrated, not to be shy about. Why not fantasize about the seven actors and actresses you’d choose to play you in the movie about your life?

Polls reveal that many Germans wish they could return to the days when the Berlin Wall was intact. They complain that dismantling the barriers between the eastern and western portions of the country

Homework: It’s easy to see fanaticism, rigidity, and intolerance in other people, but harder to acknowledge them in yourself. Do you

LIBRA

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24 • b u z z w e e k l y

YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS LIKE A NOTCH BELOW KAFKA’S.

AP R . 28

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AP R . 28

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first things first

buzz weekly •

ALLLL FOR THE BUZZ. BECAUSE WE LIVE FOR BUZZ.

5

coulter

Shop with Coulter

Then go home, cry and drink a bottle of vodka in a closet MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I went shopping last week.

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Yeah, I know, that’s a pretty dynamic way to start a column, but this was different because it wasn’t the sort of shopping I normally do.There were none of the regular stops at the grocery, the liquor store or any place that offers lap dances.

Instead, I made one of my four-times-ayear, half-hearted, pathetic attempts to enhance my wardrobe.

It’s not especially a moment of glory for someone like me, as I suck at it terribly. One of my friends once advocated wearing identical jumpsuits each day of the week, but he’s a fancy-assed lawyer now, so I assume he’s backed off that idea. Being a not so fancy idiot, I haven’t, even though it’s not the jumpsuit I prefer. Still, I like to keep it pretty consistent.

I have a picture of myself at the age of four. My build is pretty much the same. My hair style, though not shaved as it is now, is a painfully short kind of flat top. I have on a ratty-assed pair of pants and a wrinkled, button down shirt that is, not surprisingly, untucked. I look pretty much the same way I look these days, except I’m not holding a cocktail and a cigarette. Also, my free hand isn’t absent mindedly touching my genitals, but otherwise, you can tell it’s me.

This might seem like a fairly easy look to replicate for an entire life, but such a thing can be deceiving. Everything now is just a little too hip for a fella like me. Last spring, I found some shorts I liked, so I bought four pair that were exactly the same.

They’re still in good shape, but I’m always a little self conscious that people will assume I’m wearing the same pair day after day. My first plan was to add some variety to the shorts collection.

I found several pair that would have been just fine ‌ if I were an archeologist, a skateboarder or anyone who needs to carry five wallets and nine sets of keys. Holy crap, what’s with all the freaking pockets on shorts these days? What the hell do I really need them for? The right front pocket is for change, and the back right pocket is for my wallet. That’s it. That’s all the pockets I require. Sure, I like to have the pockets on the left side, but I don’t use them for dick.

Since two pockets are all I really need, having a couple of spare pockets on each of my legs seems a bit overkill. Sure, I could start carrying scissors, batteries and sandwiches around with me all the time so the pockets didn’t feel like a waste, but I’d

much prefer to just buy a regular pair of freaking pants.

Even if I find a pair that I sort of like, then I have to try them on. I have no idea why this is such torture, but it’s one of the most annoying things I can imagine.

Honestly, I would rather pay for the pants, take them home, realize they don’t fit, and then take them back; then I would to try them on at the store.Take off your shoes and pants, put on the ill-fitting new pants, put old pants and shoes back on, get another pair of pants to try on, repeat until something finally fits or Michael Coulter until you give up, go home is a videographto cry and drink a bottle of er, comedian vodka in your closet. and can be The signs they have post- heard on WPGU ed don’t help much either, 107.1 Thursdays “Dressing rooms may be at 5 with Ricker monitored to prevent workin’ it. shoplifting.� That doesn’t conjure up a comforting feeling.The sign might as well read, “There is likely a creepy simpleton staring at a bank of security cameras and masturbating while you try on your new clothes.�

These days, I don’t even bother with the dressing rooms to try on shirts. I just stand in the middle of an aisle with a miserable look on my face until I come across a shirt that I don’t hate. This usually takes quite a while. I can stare at the racks for hours. I can picture other people wearing these shirts, famous people, friends, anyone but myself. I mean, piss, I’m not a billboard, and I try to only wear shirts that advertise rock bands or baseball teams. Even if my name were actually Tommy, I doubt I’d want it emblazoned across my chest.

Then there all those cool patterns. I generally get about as daring as plaid, but anything more seems a little busy, and let’s be honest, vertical stripes and a beer gut don’t really allow me to leave the house with the confidence I require.The lines, they seem to get all wavy.

Screw anyone who says clothes shopping is fun. Book shopping is fun. Bike shopping is fun. Hell, I can even shop for furniture.

The clothes deal, not so much. I miss those old days when mom would bring me home a pair of pants and that would be about it. If they were big, that was fine. I would grow into them. At this point of my life, it’s sort of a slippery slope to buy clothes I’ll grow into. I should probably re-explore that jumpsuit idea.

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If you lie, your children will too. If you spend all your money on yourselves

AP R . 28

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and tithe no portion of it for charities, colleges, churches, synagogues, and

generation will pass on the p o i s o n adults still have not had the courage to snuff out.

gender jokes, another

C O N T I N U E D O N PA G E

Fresh flicks

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR 2 STARS

TOCCARA CASTLEMAN • STAFF WRITER

Ryan Reynolds & Melissa George The Amityville Horror doesn’t exactly break any new ground, but it is less laughable and maintains a stronger, more consistent tone of creeping terror than the recent Hide and Seek or The Ring Two. Like the poor family that chooses to live in a mansion with evil in its walls, this unnecessary remake of The Amityville Horror simply revisits something that was better left dead. (Matt Pais)

T

he University of Illinois attempts to foster a diverse student body, leading to an opportunity to become exposed to a variety of cultures. However, some students still ask “if we’re so diverse then why are all the black kids still sitting together at the Union lunch tables, while the Asian, Latino and white students do the same?� Is racial self-separation an issue on the University of Illinois’ campus? “To answer this question, I would have to ask, ‘Compared to what? Compared to the early seventies when I was in school?’ No, the campus is not segregated,� said Nathaniel Banks, director of the African American Cultural Center. “Segregation implies physical separation. Although that could have been easily argued in the fifties and sixties, I don’t

PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

BEAUTY SHOP 2.5 stars

believe that this is the case now. Is the campus fully integrated? it’s just the people I have always hung out with.�

Probably not. For the most part students find ways to self stratify.�

In the Final Enrollment report for the Fall Semester of 2004 Some students agree provided in August 2005 by with Banks that there is the Office of Admission and a separation on campus, Records, the total underwhile others disagree. graduate student enrollment The University could provide more Some have never thought was 29,294. programs and activities. But You about the issue in depth.

Of the total population 72 “I honestly have are American Indian or Alaskan can’t force someone to like never thought about it Native; 1,936 African American someone for the sake of diversity. before I took a social or Black; 3,259 Asian; 1,739 -Douglas Seok, junior in LAS issues theater course. I Hispanic or Latino and 19,644 think it may be an issue, White. At the time the statistics but I’ve never considwhere calculated, international ered it a problem for student enrollment had errors myself,� said Sarah Miller, junior in LAS. that are still in the process of being corrected.

Students may not have thought about the issue of segregation As a result of this skewed enrollment there are often instances full on because of movements such as Project 500 that occurred where some classes may contain only a few minorities, which may in 1965. Following the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther challenge the overall experience for these students.

King Jr., campus leaders such as Clarence Shelly took “I never felt like a minority until I came to this campus,� said an active role in fighting for the integration of the Genevieve Tenoso, senior in LAS. “I’ve felt really objectified, University and as a result, 500 minority stu- sometimes I wish I didn’t have to be full on Indian spokesperson. dents were admitted.

Whenever anyone has any kind of conversation in class about The University offers programs such as Native people, everyone turns and looks at you.� the Global Crossroads Learning Community Other students also recognize the objectification of minority and the Principal Scholars award.The Principal students and also the lack of diversity in the faculty members.

Scholar’s award tracks talented minority students “Within the classroom African American students have a during their high school years and provides schol- huge burden when studying the slave trade and civil rights. arships and other forms of assistance in applying for These students are expected to have every answer.You can see the University. the way that white kids crane their necks to look at the black “The University itself is a melting pot. I students when something dealing with race comes up,� said think that it’s definitely an individual Micah Thomas, senior in LAS. choice of what they’re going to do Facilities such as the African American Cultural Center, La with the experience. The University Casa and the Native American House exist to offer support in could provide more programs and order to meet the concerns and needs of minority students on activities, but that’s it. You can’t force campus who may feel exclusion in other settings.These facilities someone to like someone for the sake also exist for students of the dominant population to serve as an of diversity,� said Douglas Seok, junior educational tool and opportunity to indulge in other cultures. in LAS. “I think that students can do more than come in to see the stuff While some students claim to have a posted on the wall [in the Native House]. They don’t even come diverse group of friends, others admit they still and talk to us,� said Geronimo Caldwell, sophomore in LAS. naturally gravitated toward people of their same Recognizably the University does provide an array of events ethnic background. and opportunities that promote ethnic diversity, yet as Seok “As much as I hate to admit it, yes [I do tend to gravitate maintains, indulgence or appreciation of activities will always be towards people of my similar ethnicity],� Miller said. “I always an individual choice. grew up with white kids, hung out with white kids, dated “I’m interested in people. I like giving people a chance to white kids, etc.When I first got to the University of Illinois I find out who they are,� Seok said. “I think that we’re losing lived in Newman Hall.That is a small private Catholic dorm, out on the quality of a person because we’re basing our friendwhich was also populated with almost all white kids. For me, ships on ethnicities.� buzz

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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opening this weekend

Marian Wright Edelman • founder and President of the Children's Defense Fund

Is racial separation an issue at UIUC?

23

ily and that rooting for the team can be comfor ting even when they lose. Fallon and Barr ymore make a charming, romantic duo with offbeat chemistr y. It’s a fitting tribute to love and baseball. (Matt Pais)

civic causes, your children won't either. And if parents snicker at racial and

SELF-IMPOSED RACIAL BOUNDARIES

buzz weekly •

I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD MATE FOR LIFE, LIKE PIGEONS, OR CATHOLICS.

Queen Latifah & Alicia Silverstone Beauty Shop is mostly a “woman’s film� that even appeals to a youthful male audience, with lots of sexy female eye candy that never misses the director’s gaze. It has undeniable crowdpleasing appeal for those who like urban comedy with a less vulgar approach. You also won’t be offended by any harsh political put-downs of past civil rights leaders, like the first Barbershop film.

(Syd Slobodnik) FEVER PITCH 3 stars Drew Barr ymore & Jimmy Fallon Fever Pitch understands that the people who have season tickets near you can feel like a fam-

THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY Martin Freeman & Mos Def Based on the cult mega-classic radio series/TV series/book by the late Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker’s Guide focuses on the interstellar misadventures of Arthur Dent (Freeman), who narrowly escapes the destruction of the earth with the help of his extraterrestrial neighbor Ford Prefect (Mos Def). Along their journey they cross paths with a depressed robot (voiced by Alan Rickman), the two-headed president of the galaxy (Sam Rockwell) and the incredibly helpful guidebook of the title. The original series and novel are absolutely, drop-dead hilarious, so hopefully the film follows suit.

(Andrew Vecelas) XXX: STATE OF THE UNION Ice Cube & Samuel L. Jackson Ice Cube, the new master of the B-movies (he’s pulled off the ultimate three-peat by starring in Anaconda, Torque and Ghosts of Mars) stars as Darius Stone, an ex-con drafted by an ultra-secret spy agency to stop a terrorist plot to overthrow the government.

Willem Dafoe pops in as, what else, the evil villain. Vin Diesel opted out of the sequel, presumably because his star shot too high after A Man Apart and The Chronicles of Riddick. (Andrew Vecelas)

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2 (PG–13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sat. 11:20 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (PG) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sat. 11:20 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 LOT LIKE LOVE (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 11:50 Sat. 11:10 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 FEVER PITCH (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 GUESS WHO (PG–13) Fri. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sat. 11:05 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:20 HITCH (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:20 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:20 7:00 9:30 KING'S RANSOM (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 7:25 9:30 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 7:25 9:30 KUNG FU HUSTLE (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 3:15 5:25 7:40 9:50 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 3:15 5:25 7:40 9:50

MISS CONGEN. 2 (PG–13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 2:00 7:30 Sat. 11:20 2:00 7:30 ROBOTS (PG) Fri. & Sun. Thu. 1:20 3:25 5:25 Sat. 11:00 1:20 3:25 5:25 SAHARA (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50 12:20 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50 SIN CITY (R) Fri. - Thu. 4:50 10:00 AMITYVILLE HORROR (R) Fri. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 11:50 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 INTERPRETER (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:15 4:05 7:05 10:00 PACIFIER (PG) Fri. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 9:40 12:00 Sat. 11:10 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 9:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 9:40 UPSIDE OF ANGER (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 THÉRĂˆSE (PG) Fri. 1:05 3:10 5:15 7:20 9:25 11:30 Sat. 11:00 1:05 3:10 5:15 7:20 9:25 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 3:10 5:15 7:20 9:25 MILLIONS (PG) Fri. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sat. 11:15 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sun. - Wed. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 Midnight Thu. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 Midnight

Showtimes for 4/29 thru 5/5

Kung Fu Hustle delivers big laughs and martial arts action.

dash of kung fu fighting, a pinch of Looney Toons, and serve with a popcorn and soda, and you have a dish called Kung Fu Hustle that is sure to satisfy a much needed comedy fix. Kung Fu Hustle delivers big laughs and martial arts action and is sure to please fans of both genres.

Kung Fu Hustle takes place in China during the 1930s. Gangs have all but taken over city life, and the most powerful of the gangs is the aptly named the Axe Gang. This band of misfits is defined by the axe they carry at their sides at all times. They are well connected, own the police and take whatever they want. The only way to avoid them is to live in an area too poor to merit their interests.

Such is the case for the residents of the “pig sty� slum. Unfortunately, a couple of troublemakers have come to town and stirred the attention of the Axe Gang. Just when it seems that members of the gang are about to demolish the town, several

THE UPSIDE OF ANGER JOHN LOOS • STAFF WRITER

Jgether oan Allen accomplishes something altouncanny in her role as a highly

Mike Binder creates two textured, complex characters.

embittered housewife whose husband apparently ditches her for his Swedish secretary in The Upside of Anger. Through the seething anger churning within her oftinebriated character, she slides perfectly from vicious to pitiful to hilarious to devastated, sometimes at a moment’s notice.

Allen has always been a reliable actress, but here she is a whirlwind. A bitch of the most endearing and delightful kind.

When Terry Wolfmeyer’s husband disappears from her life, she decides, quite pragmatically, that’s she entitled to be as infuriated as she wants to be and have as many vodka tonics as she wants. Her four headstrong daughters, Andy (Erika Christensen), Emily (Keri Russel), Hadley (Alicia Witt) and young Popeye (Evan Rachel Wood) watch their mother enter this very calculated depression, knowing there’s little they can do to help her. Their once-sweet mother is now broken. The only person who seems capable of breeching Terry’s icy, volatile shell is another hopeless alcoholic: next-door neighbor and ex-baseball player Denny Davies

M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

kung fu masters emerge from hiding and quickly dispose of the threat. Not surprising after their beatdown, the Axe Gang, bent on revenge, hire their own kung fu masters to destroy the slum. What ensues is a mixture of martial arts that ranges from the fighting styles seen in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to the bullet time effects of The Matrix. Ultimately, the people of the slum must rely on the awakening of KUNG FU HUSTLE • LEUNG SIU LUNG the hidden kung fu talents in a down-on-his-luck thief (Stephen Chow brings an amazing sense of Chow) who, legend has it, is “The One,â€? comedic timing and knowledge of slapstick humor that would even make Larry, and no, it’s not Neo. You may be thinking that this sounds Moe and Curly proud.

What more could you want from a more like an action movie than a comedy, and while the fight scenes are taken fairly movie? Kung Fu Hustle delivers action, seriously, the events leading up to them drama, comedy and even a little suspense. are anything but. The Axe Gang is just as There are a couple moments in this movie likely to break out into a dance routine as that can only be described with the phrase it is to beat the snot out of some unsus- “What the heck?� that keep it from getting pecting sap. Stephen Chow, who pro- a full four stars. Overall, though, this movie duced, directed, wrote and starred in this will make you laugh and then some, and it slapstick/action comedy does an amazing just goes to prove that slapstick is univerjob of mixing fight scenes with laugh- sally funny. To that extent, it’s always out-loud comedic moments. He’s no refreshing to see that though there may be stranger to this type of genre; he previous- cultural differences and different beliefs in ly released Shaolin Soccer, to which he pays the world, we all laugh at basically the homage in his opening scene. Stephen same thing.

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q+a Yoon Pak is an assistant professor in educational policy studies and a core faculty member in the Asian-American studies program. She’s been at the University for six years and hopes to continue her work and research.

How would you describe your work?

It's actually the ideal job for me. I get to teach and research in the history of education and Asian-American studies as well as advising PhD students.

What were you doing before you started working at the U of I?

I was in Seattle getting my PhD at the University of Washington—the real UW!

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Yoon Pa k

Why did you become interested in your study of the history of intercultural education?

I come from the perspective that we’ve always lived in a multicultural society and that there were educators in the past that sought to find ways to look at inclusionary methods for teaching diverse kids.

Even though the assimilation and Americanization model was the norm in the early 20th century, I had to believe that there were other models out there.And with the collaboration of a friend and colleague from graduate school, we've been able to locate school districts across the country—from NYC, Detroit, San Diego, among others—that employed variations of intercultural education long before the formal development of multicultural education in the 1960s.

Together, they represent another part of Terry’s life that she cannot control, another piece of her existence that is slipping through her fingers. The youngest, Popeye, while somewhat blended with her sisters, provides the most mature voice of the film through her light narration.

Mike Binder, who acted with Allen in the 2000 film The Contender, creates two textured, comTHE UPSIDE OF ANGER • KEVIN COSTNER & JOAN ALLEN plex, wounded characters and gives them a situation (played with great temperament and con- that has no easy exits or answers. Terry’s fidence by Kevin Costner). Slowly the two anger just doesn’t magically disappear.There tread through their own personal disap- isn’t a scene in which Terry takes a deep pointments toward a mutual, symbiotic, yet breath, forgives her lost husband and very fragile form of romance.As Terry flails remembers the joys of life after picking in an ocean of anger, hate, resentment and some wildflowers. There isn’t a scene in viciousness, the cool-headed, beer-swilling which she and Denny confess they’re Denny becomes her buoy. madly in love (they’re not, really), meanTerry’s three oldest daughters, while ing that gaping void in her life is officialportrayed by an undeniable wealth of talent, ly closed. At the beginning, Terry is a terare mostly interchangeable figures as each of ribly hurt woman, internally shattered, them finds ways to subvert her mother’s and Denny is a deadbeat. At the end, wishes. When Hadley gets pregnant and they’re only slightly improved. Smartly, then gets engaged, Terry is the last to find neither the characters nor the screenplay out (which leads to a hilarious toasting have the perfect cure to Terry’s anger, but scene when Terry meets her future son-in- they do have a few unexpected secrets.We law’s parents). Andy forsakes college to get know from the beginning why Terry is a job at the radio station Denny has a talk angry but in one silent bedroom scene, show at and then ends up dating her sleezy, when she quietly scoots her backside back much older boss, Shep (Mike Binder, the into Denny, in that moment we see exactwriter and director). And Emily desperate- ly why these characters need each other. ly wants to be a ballet dancer, even though Terry sees absolutely no practicality in it.

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RIFRAF, STREET RAT - I DON’T BUY THAT.

What do you find most enjoyable about your work at the University?

My department, the colleagues.

graduate

students, my

What do you find most challenging?

Time management and having to multitask. Other than that, it is the lack of physical terrain. We need mountains. Ground squirrels are cool but so are gooey ducks.

When you aren't working, what do you like to do?

What I would like to do is get more sleep, but I'm having fun hanging out with my 16-month-old daughter and seeing how the world makes sense through her eyes.

PHOTO • AUSTIN HAPPEL

2OUTE "URWASH !VE

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AP R . 28

THE INTERESTING WORD USEMENTS I STRUCTURE.

SONY PICTURE CLASSICS

22 • b u z z w e e k l y

What do you see yourself doing in the future?

Doing what I still do but doing it better and in new and different ways.

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Yoon Pak in her office at the Education building.

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the local sniff

seth fein

I am a Jewish Man! And the Lord said, "Let there be Ignorance!"

And it was so...

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

In the years leading up to this one, many

things have taken place in my life. I was born.

Then, I went to grade school and learned to live and die by baseball.

I went to middle school and learned that the only way I was ever going to get a girl was by making her laugh. I went to high school, and I pitched a no-hitter.At 15, I quit playing ball after smoking a joint and listening to “Welcome to the Machine� by Pink Floyd. I learned how to play drums and started a band. At 19, I got my heart torn from my ass by some witch and discovered that Jesus is the only way for me to truly comprehend happiness. Then I graduated college and fell in love with a much more caring and beautiful girl. Now I write. A lot.

Sure other things have happened, but of no real consequence in the face of those events.

However, of all the things that have happened to me since I was a zygote, one thing remains consistent: the dumbfounded looks I get when I tell people that I am both a Christian and a Jew. For my entire life, when I am telling people about myself, I naturally end up brushing on my upbringing.And that involves two very different yet totally compatible threads: Jewishness and Christianity.

I celebrated both Christmas and Hanukkah. I ate a regular diet of matzo ball soup, gefilte fish and brisket but also sought out Easter eggs with the best of them. I have danced the Hora (and man can I dance the Hora!) and at the same time, I have Seth Fein is from been baptized.

Urbana. He can make How is this possible, you the best pot of matzo ask? Well, allow me to settle ball soup south of I-80 this once and for all. That (aside from his mother). way, you can learn, evolve He can be reached at and stop questioning the sethfein@hotmail.com. extent to which this is true and how this is possible.

For starters—Jesus Christ himself—was a flippin' Jew! So, while that should finish up this column at around 200 words, most people don't see this as a credible justification as to how someone could possibly be both at the same time. So, allow me to continue.

All of the early Christian church, including that silly bastard Paul (used to be called Saul), was Jewish. It was not until Paul and all the rest of the early Jesus freaks went to lands like Corinth, Galatia and...surprise, surprise—Rome! that

gentiles caught wind of the Good News.

Let me be even more clear.And I know that this next phrase can be applied to many scenarios, but this is the only one where it actually holds weight.There are only two types of people in this world. Jews and Gentiles. That's it.

Need to determine which one you are? Easy. Is your mother Jewish? If she is, you're a Jew. If she's not, you’re a gentile. Simple as that.

But how, Seth? How is this possible? Allow me to elaborate.

Practicing Judaism is one thing. It means that you are still waiting for the Messiah. It means that Elijah has yet to “sit down and celebrate a Seder� dinner at Passover (I heard no reports of this happening on Sunday). It means that if you adhere to the Torah or the first five books of the Bible, then you are practicing Judaism.

Being Jewish is another thing. It requires only this: Having Jewish blood.

It's the same as being Chinese, or Russian or Nigerian. It's a bloodline. It's a heritage. But it is different than every nationality in one distinct way: It has its very own religion to go with it.

My parents converted to Christianity before they were married and before I was born, much to the chagrin of their folks. And while it had me confused for a while, I was raised singing “Jesus Loves Me Yes I Know� while my ENTIRE extended family danced a proverbial Hora around my ass. It took some years before I understood it, but now—it makes perfect sense.

Jewish blood is passed down matrilineally.As a result, my children will be gentiles, assuming I marry the woman I am with now. She's Italian and Greek. She's a gentile. But for my sister, it won't matter who she marries. She could conceive with a redneck from Texas or with a snake charmer from Pakistan. The result will be the same. She will have Jewish children.

I do not blame people for not understanding though. There was a time when not only did I not get it, but I didn't like it. The only fight I ever really had with my Grammy was over what I was. She told me plain and clear: “You are a Jew.� I told her that I didn't want to be one, and she said: “Too bad. It's who you are and who you will always be.�

And something about that is truly comforting.After all, I am one of “God's chosen people.�

AP R . 28

IF ONLY THEY’D LOOK CLOSER.

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“I’ll have a HALF DOUBLE-DECAFFEINATED HALF-CAF,

with a twist of lemon.�

-LA Story

THE INTERPRETER PAUL PRIKAZSKY • STAFF WRITER

When Alfred

The writing does falter during some abhorrently hokey speeches.

Hitchcock was denied access to the United Nations, the interiors were recreated on a Hollywood soundstage. Director Sydney Pollack is one man who did not take no for an answer. The United Nations is the focal point of The Interpreter, and the story is woven around this international forum. Taking the audience deep inside the building at once demystifies it and gives us a bird’s eye view of the vast political network that resides within. Though the premise is certainly original, the film stumbles through its lengthy running time and sparks more political debate than necessary.

Silvia Broome (Nicole Kidman) is an African-born U.N. interpreter who inadvertently overhears an assassination plot against a corrupt African leader who is scheduled to speak before the U.N. General Assembly. However, Broome is spotted in the sound booth by the very people discussing the nefarious plot. With her life in jeopardy, federal agent Tobin Kellar (Sean Penn) is dispatched to protect her. Unfortunately, Kellar suspects Broome may not be telling the whole truth. As the date of the speech inches closer, Broome must stay one step ahead

C - U

v i e w s

COMPILED BY SARAH KROHN

! VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL OUR CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS

WITHOUT WHOM THIS EVENT WOULD NEVER HAVE COME TO FRUITION

Breanne Williams Mahomet, Ill.

of the people trying to silence her as Kellar struggles to understand what she is really hiding. Revealing any more of the plot would be saying too much. And I don’t want Sean Penn hunting me down.

Kidman and Penn are two of the finest actors in Hollywood. They display all the subtle nuances of emotion, allowing the audience to feel a genuine connection to these characters. Their scenes together are intimate portrayals of their dissenting philosophies of life. Broome believes in the sanctity of words and thorough communication above all. THE INTERPRETER • NICOLE KIDMAN Kellar looks beyond mere dialogue and reads people based on parts and corny in others. Pollack made the politically charged and wholly behavior and facial expressions.

Yin and Yang. Opposite sides of the engrossing Three Days of the Condor, which coin. Call it what you will, the differences served up taut thrills and a likable leading in Kidman’s and Penn’s characters were man. The Interpreter retains much of the well developed by the writers.To finally see kinetic energy of Pollack’s previous effort, two superbly written characters is very but it is undermined by the film’s obviousrefreshing. But no script is flawless, and the ly liberal bias.

Despite his outrageous political views, writing does falter during some abhorrently hokey speeches and one-liners that ulti- Penn is a talented actor. Kidman’s beauty is jaw-dropping (she’s a good actress, too). mately fall short.

If I’m not mistaken, a thriller should be The story was promising, and the setting thrilling. Granted, there are some nail-bit- was virginal. Pollack had all the ingrediing sequences and spine-tingling moments, ents to make a first-rate thriller, but somebut there is too much vapid space used for thing was lost in the translation. I would filler. The film should have been exciting wait until it comes out on video. That throughout, not melodramatic in some needs no interpretation.

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

8 • buzz weekly

The Interpreter

Erin Ruprecht Mahomet, Ill.

Ricardo Vance Champaign, Ill.

Mazel Tov! “Pretty suspenseful.�

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“A little slow in parts.�

“Pretty decent, ending was not what I expected.�

Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

Due to the high anticipation of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, 30,000 Star Wars fans recently gathered in Indianapolis for “Celebration III,� a convention devoted to the beloved galactic franchise. Star Wars creator and tasteful Taurus George Lucas made his first Star Wars convention appearance since 1987 and was joined by fans from across the world, including Japan, Mexico and Germany. One major attraction was the Stormtrooper Olympics, a competition of those goofy guards of the evil Empire. I’m assuming the events included an incompetence pentathlon and seeing who could die the quickest and silliest death.

After all, you can’t spell stormtrooper without “oops.�

You’ve probably heard that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have gotten engaged. Affleck, a lovable Leo, has been dating the Alias star and amicable Aries since last year, even though the two first met on the set of instant classic and surely Criterion Collection-bound Daredevil. The two have taken the low road publicity-wise after the world was doused with news of Affleck’s fairy tale romance with girl-next-door-in-the-20room-mansion Jennifer Lopez, only appearing publicly once at the 2004 World Series in Boston. I wonder what Affleck’s presence will do for Garner’s career, because after all, you can’t spell Ben Affleck without snickering a little bit.

Uber-British thespian, pragmatic Pisces and Oscar winner Sir John Mills died recently at the age of 97. The actor, who has starred in films such as Ghandi, Great Expectations and Ryan’s Daughter (for which he won his Oscar), had a career spanning over 70 years that was still going even in the last few years.

Often cast in military roles, his boyish good looks gave him an Everyman appeal that enhanced his sentimental, restrained performances. In a recent survey of British film for Sky television, Mills was voted 8th in a list of all-time greatest British actors. Obviously, he will be remembered warmly.

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20 • b u z z w e e k l y

CATS DON’T LIKE CORN!

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WOULD THEY SEE A POOR BOY, NO SIREE.

THIS WEEK AT KRANNERT

ar tist’s corner

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OPEN MIC/JAM $2 Long Islands! $1 PBR Drafts!

Thursday, T hursday, A pril 2 8

AlistairSlaughter

featuring members of

Blues Traveler with DJ Logic

Thursday, May 5

Alistair “Al-Iteration� Slaughter is a sophomore from Chicago in Psychology and Rhetoric. An ambitious fellow, Alistair manages to juggle his passion for poetry and hip-hop with his many high-level classes indicative of his strong academic interests. He’s a member of the UC Hip Hop Congress and DJ’s on WPGU 107.1 on Fridays. He recently put out an album, which can be found through www.uchiphop.org. There will also be a listening party for the album this Saturday upstairs at Espresso Royale in Urbana from 6-7. It’s free and all are welcome. The album will be on sale fo $5. If you’re looking for him, “Look for the hat!� says Alistair.

The non-album is a collection of songs I wrote between June ’04 and January ’05 and re-recorded over the past few months. The title of the non-album, The Other Side, came up when I was working on the cover art with Deborah Su, one of the artists that tagged up the “Hip Hop Rots Your Brain� billboards. I didn't want to call my CD an album because I'm not at that stage yet as an artist, and I

didn't want to call it a mixtape because everyone does that. (Plus it's not a tape!) So our initial artwork was a race/ethnicity question like on an SAT or some other survey or standardized test. The options were: The Black Album, The White Album, The Mix Tape, or The Other Side, which had a check in the box next to it. But eventually we scrapped that artwork but kept the title. There is no label—I funded the manufacturing/packaging out of my pocket. The album is down-to-earth, storybased hip-hop but very analytical—there's not many “typical� songs on there. Each track has a concept and intention, which I think is something that may intrigue some listeners and turn off others.

What sort of message do you wish to convey with your work? Are there any particular

Friday, M ay 6

Saturday, M ay 7 th

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Saturday, May 21 w.

0RELUDE !RTEMIS 1UARTET PM FREE !RTEMIS 1UARTET PM

Alistair Slaughter aka al-iteration, jotting down ideas for rap songs, is studying Psychology and creative writing here at U of I.

w. s pecial guest

w.

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DAVID RUTHENBERG • STAFF WRITER

Can you tell us about your recent album?

Friday, April 29 John Popper Project

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PHOTO • SARAH KROHN

708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

DARK N EW D AY

(featuring members of Creed & Sevendust)

Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

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causes that inspire you?

I’m weary of messages in music, but I definitely think intention is good. I like to share my viewpoints through my music and let people know who I am, but I try to avoid being preachy. For example, my intention for the opening track “Hey!�, which I'm shooting a video for, is to make light of rapping and freestyling and the idea of a chorus in a typical rap song. There's no real “message� ... it's just some goofy stuff. For the whole CD I'm just trying to express what I feel or what I think about in an original way. Sometimes it's a phrase someone says to me or something I hear in lecture when I'm not sleeping—I try to always be open for inspiration.

The idea for “Shrink Rapâ€? came from sitting in my Theories of Psychotherapy class last summer and trying to give some sort of story to all the concepts we talk about, so I wrote from the perspective of a psychiatrist. I also hear a lot of poetry at slams or open mics or workshops, so that's where tracks like “Miss ClichĂŠâ€? and “Broken Poetryâ€? come in.

Who would influences?

you

consider

your

major

I've got tons of influences ... my greatest task is to make a cohesive verse or song by sewing together my different experiences and influences in different lines or ideas. I'd say as far as rap goes, definitely Nas, Jay-Z, MF Doom, Slick Rick, Slug, Qwel and some lesser known cats like Breezely Brewin' of the Juggaknots and Othello of LightHeaded. We could go further back to the originators of rap, but I feel like their influence funnels down through the emcees I’ve mentioned. As far as poetry, Patricia Smith and Saul Williams are two that definitely influenced me. Professor Michael Madonick for making the phrase “gatling gun of images� pop in my head every time I write. Locally, I’ve been extremely inspired by the work of playwright Jim Trapp and DJ/MC/president of UC Hip Hop liMbs, who contributed three beats to The Other Side.

If you could battle one person, alive or dead, who would it be?

Damn ... that’s a good one. I think I’d battle Malcolm X pre-Hajj. He’d come with some wild references and punchlines and tear me apart, but he’d break everything down for me afterwards and show me how to improve. s o u n d s

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“There are more love songs than anything else.

Romeo & Juliet

If songs could make you do something

drama

W

-Frank Zappa

FLOOK: A COINCIDENCE OF THE SUBLIME KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

I

“

PHOTO BY EVE MATTHEWS

t just happens that everyone in our band is a virtuoso,” declares Sarah Allen, flautist for Flook, but somehow her statement isn’t a show of hubris for the young musician.

After all, the band’s name isn’t only a reference to their extremely talented dual flute players, both well-known in Irish traditional music circles. A fluke is something out of the ordinary, and, as Allen says, it’s a “happy coincidence” that there’d be so much talent in the energetic group.

Allen refers to John Joe Kelly, who plays bodhrán (a traditional Irish skin drum) and flautist Brian Finnegan. Both are receiving exclusive attention in the competitive world of Irish music with their virtuoustic abilities.

Kelly hails from Manchester, England, famously home of Joy Division and has been heaping praise for his technique on the bodhrán. The drum is played with a two-headed “beater,” which suggests, perhaps, the clomp of horses, but Kelly manages to create something broader, hinting at, alternately, either tabla, the Indian rosewood drums, or perhaps a deeply-reso-

nant dance track. Thanks to what Allen calls his “impeccable traditional credentials” and an open mind, Kelly has become, with apologies to the Clash, perhaps the only bodhrán player that matters; his technique on the instrument is so far above the rest.

“He doesn’t limit himself to jigs,” Allen remarks. “Everyone is copying him now.”

Finnegan was competing at a young age in traditional music competitions and according to Allen, winning them all but even at a young age, judges called him to develop his own sound, moving away from such giants of the genre as Matt Malloy, of such influential groups as Bothy Band, Planxty, and the group to which all traditional musics owe a debt, the Chieftains.

The suggestions must have struck a chord with Finnegan—both he and Allen exhibit distinct skills on flute. Finnegan is capable of interpolating difficult triple tonguings as accents, creating a sort of pastoral sibilance.

Allen’s technique is also far from the mainstream. In addition to doubling on accordion, she plays the alto flute, which exhibits a characteristically more mellow sound. With certain techniques, she is able to create, among other things, the distinctly non-traditional sound of upright bass.

“The way I play is quite different—I put a sharp attack on the front of the note, sharp like the string of a bass.”

Creating harmonies in the lower register is also part of her role. Traditional songs are usually dictated by ear, and only the melody is constant, their otherwisestrict forms allowing for plenty of variation for more creative musicians. Though she has quite a bit of formal training, she’s loath to explain the process of creating harmony.

“There are so many harmonies,” she says, “and it’s one of those things that makes things sound differently. I don’t know how I do it.”

Whatever the method, the sound of two so-talented leaders playing separate-butequal parts with guitar and percussion is of one of the best in the game.

But it’s difficult to ignore the cultural ramifications of three musicians from England excelling so at Irish music, considering what is perceived as a history of English aggression against Ireland.

Asked whether culture has ever been a boundary for the band, Sarah replies in the

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negative. “Blimey, it’s actually strange: we get a huge welcome and they love our music [in Ireland].” Flook has been recently incorporating folk music from all over Europe into their sets, and the open-mindedness of their fans only seems natural.

Whether it is a factor of changing times or music-widening minds, it’s a good sign for the future.

Unlike many other world musics, Irish music differs from the European sense of harmony and rhythm only slightly; thus, it’s both more accessible and more open to criticism. One obvious angle is the level of discipline it requires. In addition to the technical skill required, for example, by 9/8 slip-jigs and the occasional blistering tempo, Irish traditional musicians are expected to remember upwards of 200 melodies to participate in the “session,” the exchange and performance of Irish music. It’s not that the community is purposely insular but rather a result of the reality that an art steeped in tradition has as an entry price: the expectation of discipline.

Arts have reinvented themselves by looking beyond raw talent, but villianizing skill is self-defeating. In this dialectic between mind and body, Flook seems like a natural synthesis, a band whose abilities are chance, but as accomplished as could be hoped.

“The thing about [traditional music] is that anyone can play it at the end of the day.” It truly is a fluke to have so much talent together, though, and one worth recognizing.

The band is celebrating 10 years together and working on a new album, which strives to surpass their two previous lauded LPs, including 2002’s Rubai, which features such creative twists as wah-wah mandolin and trombone ostinatos infused into traditional song. While Irish music is often an exclusive club, making indie rock seem warm and accepting by comparison, Flook is an open-minded, cross-cultural model of a band, making music with that is lively and original. buzz

illiam Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is probably the greatest romantic tragedy in all of English literature. The current production of Romeo and Juliet by the Chicago Shakespeare Theater Company at Navy Pier is a tragedy of different sorts.With all the top-notched production details that four major corporate sponsors can generously offer and an awarding-winning visiting director, Mark Lamos, just two or three performances meet the caliber of greatness this play can offer.

Excessive crowd-pleasing humor, realistic frenetic, streetfighting scenes and Americanized verse-reading cloud an otherwise handsome looking attention to set and costume detail of the play’s authentic Renaissance period production design. Candice Donnelly’s costumes add so much color and flair to the period performances, and all these choices nicely collaborate with designer Michael Yeargan’s impressive geometrically box-shaped multipurpose set pieces.

Jennifer Government

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This timeless tale of two star-crossed teen lovers from warring Verona families stars Carman Lacivita and Julia Coffey, who effectively play young lovers but are clearly a decade too old for their parts.When playing the most sensual scenes, especially after the death of Juliet’s cousin Tybalt, the more mature actors fail to capture the simple innocence of the characters who are supposed to be no more than 14 and 16 respectively. This Romeo and Juliet are too wise in their physical expressions of their sensuality. Futhermore, Lacivita and Coffey rarely recite their lines revealing the beauty of much of Shakespeare’s rhymes and cadences of poetic lines. Coffey does reveal more effectively the passion of a young person in the fits of passion.

Lamos’ direction is most effective in key scenes where non-verbal behaviors dominate. Many of the street fight scenes have a vibrant energy. Robert Petkoff, who plays the mischievous Mercutio, adds comic spark to many of these action scenes. In other scenes between Juliet, Lady Capulet and the Nurse, Lamos also achieves

literature

BRANDT GLAN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I figure just a few words of intro-

duction will do. Nobody wants to read a book review that spends six paragraphs finding creative ways to rephrase the plot synopsis on the back cover. Max Berry’s Jennifer Government is a fast-paced story of a futuristic dystopia in which most of the western and eastern hemispheres have been absorbed into an American Federation, and the countries within this union operate on an ultra laissez-faire form of free trade with startling, humorous and horrific results.

My copy is a paperback edition and features a woman’s left eye, accentuated by a delicate layer of eyelines. The most intriguing detail on this cover, aside from the cold stare of the woman’s one eye is the barcode tattooed under her lower eyelash.

We find that this woman is Jennifer Government, a top agent with a healthy dose of sass and a sinister trigger finger. I would best describe Jennifer as Hester Prynne meets Lois Lane. She always seems to know jut how far to bend the rules and always makes her own rules when she can’t

flex them far enough. But this go-for-broke G-woman also has a softer side—she lives with her young daughter in Melbourne, Australia.The child, Kate, is enrolled in a grade school sponsored by Mattel.Virtually every institution we consider public (i.e. hospitals, schools, police stations) has been commandeered by a corporate entity.

I’ll admit that I made some pretty hasty generalizations about this book in the beginning. I read the synopsis, filtered out all the flamboyant adjectives book covers always use to con a reader and decided that this book was easy to decipher. The cover, with its less-than-cryptic title and semi-close-up view of Jennifer’s eye (complete with barcode), further led me to believe that this novel was a fairly straight-forward account of one female cop’s struggle to raise a daughter and catch criminals in this power-hungry universe where money talks and workers even assume the surname of their chosen companies.

The book was not this easy to unpack once I actually opened it. Jennifer Government is not the only well-rounded character in this novel. In fact, Barry spends the better part of the first 15 chapters throwing character after character at the reader. In the early stages of my reading, I kept telling friends, “This thing has more characters than a Robert Altman movie.” However, Barry introduces his menagerie of characters in an unobtrusive way. The names are a bit hard to catch onto at first, but Barry constructs a

a warm feminine closeness with natural touching and embracing that shows the love and caring qualities of these women as they interact.

Two Chicago veteran actors, who appeared in relatively minor, but crucial roles, delivered the two performances that most effectively met the demands of this play. Early interpreter of David Mamet’s great early works, Mike Nussbaum’s Friar Lawrence and the Steppenwolf company’s Rondi Reed’s Nurse were consistent in compassion and powerful in moments that required the most of their dramatic and comedic skills.

This disappointing, but attractive looking, version of Romeo and Juliet is presently at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater at Navy Pier, at 800 E. Grand Ave. on Chicago’s lakefront until June 19.

Shakespeare’s lovers take the stage at Chicago’s Navy Pier.

book review narrative which toggles from character to character with just enough spacing to keep us in suspense about what is happening with each particular subplot. And he doesn’t keep us waiting to the point that we forget each scenario. I suppose it is this fluidity that makes me appreciate the book for what it does. Barry deals with a total global vision; his settings range from Australia all the way around the world to the United States. However, because of Barry’s unique Americanized global market, each Australian city is almost identical to its American cousin. This creates a uniform world where Barry can manipulate his characters through many different geographical regions without jarring the reading from the thread of narration. This homogenous matrix makes for an interesting read on its own somewhat superficial level, but the landscape also aids the plot by allowing Barry to focus on his large cast of characters without having to re-establish his setting during each subplot.

This is Barry’s second novel, which follows his freshman effort Syrup. I will most likely give that a read as well. Barry has a distinctive voice that frantically preaches to all who will listen.“Imagine if we went just a bit further…” Fans of Brave New World and 1984 should not dismiss this novel as the coattails of one or two celebrated satirists. He’s used their ideas as a springboard, leaping toward the cosmos and commandeering their coats for parachutes as he arches from the page to our minds.

Pacific Northwest Wine Tasting Saturday April 30th, 2-6PM

Flook will play this upcoming Wednesday at Gregory Hall on campus as part of the Piper’s Hut Concert Series. The show begins at 8 p.m., and tickets are $15 (adults), $10 (with University ID) and $8 (children). The show is also sponsored by the University of Illinois’ Society of Celtic Cultures. s o u n d s

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play review

SYD SLOBODNYK • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

we'd all love one another.”

buzz weekly •

I SAW A WEREWOLF DRINKING A BLOODY MARY AT MURPHY’S PUB.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CHICAGO SHAKESPEARE THEATRE CO.

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Corkscrew Wine Emporium 203 North Vine Street Now accepting resumes! s o u n d s

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AP R . 28

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that

•

The late 1970s had British acts more edgy, but few could compete with the pop gumption of the Police. A laundr y list of what the band created is unnecessar y, but it should suffice to say that they made some pretty memorable music. Three men created incredible amounts of noise on a near-infinite set of instruments, while tipping their hats to the dominant styles of the era and making pop that equally leaves adult contemporar y, punk, emo and jam in debt.

-Herb Caen

S TA G I N G L I F E

PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

Student theatre group explores social issues through original works

J

.W. Morrissette seemed a little concerned. On April 19, about ten minutes until show time for the first performance of INNER VOICES Social Issues Theatre’s production Breaking the Silence at the Illini Orange Snackbar, there were almost no audience members. The assortment of pamphlets promoting awareness and information was organized, the seating arranged The theme of the play was sexual assault, and the cast members were practicing in the warm air. Morrissette, assistant program coordinator of the theatre program, was afraid the show might have to be cancelled. Although this is an unusual practice for the INNER VOICE Social Issues Theatre, Morrissette thought that the sensitive topic might discourage people from attending.

However, Morrissette shouldn’t have worried. By the time the lights dimmed and the actors took to the makeshift stage of the former McDonald’s, the chairs were full and some of the booths occupied as well.

Jen Shatswell, an undergraduate in English, attended the performance and hopes to volunteer with the ensemble next year.

“I believe in the program, I think [it’s] really good …The more people who see it, the more people want to see it.”

Only around an hour long, Breaking the Silence is a powerful production put together of six short plays on a variety of topics regarding sexual assault with a discussion section afterward. Nothing is graphic, but all is moving, carefully

pointing out stereotypes and hypocrisies that surround victims, their partners and friends and the perpetrators. At the end of each piece, statistics or other facts are read by the cast or moderators and help show the audience the magnitude and scope that this issue has.

The most ghastly fact was read after Party! in which a girl is raped by an acquaintance. One in four college women will experience rape or attempted rape. Another disturbing statistic, one in six women and one in 33 men are raped, was read after the creative Two or Three Things, which deals with a woman healing after being raped as a child.What is so interesting about the play is that it is told through four people that all represent one woman, just different sides of her. Another excellent play was Drew and Bea, which emphasized the UIUC “Find People” database and how the tool can be misused. Shards emphasized the struggle of a man whose girlfriend had been raped. The play shows how he wants to help her but is not sure how.

In the end, Breaking the Silence effectively describes how everyone is affected by sexual assault, but that there is still hope from knowledge. The discussion afterward uses moderators who ask questions about the plays, characters’ actions, conflicts and audience responses in general.

According to its Web site, INNER VOICES: Social Issue Theatre Program began in 1995 as a way to tackle binge drinking on college campuses. It is sponsored by McKinley Health Center, the Counseling Center and the Department of Theatre and continues to create productions that focus on

It’s been nearly 20 years since Copeland and Summers had enough of creepy schoolteacher-turned pop star Sting, and it’s difficult to say whether Sting, in his most modern persona, is a shell of his former self or whether his original persona was unduly credited with success.

That aside, it only seems appropriate that after a tour that featured, among other musicians, a cellist and popular jazz bassist Christian McBride (who, rumor has it, repeatedly disrespected Sting’s music abilities), and bald-headed singer (and Eurythemics vocalist) Annie Lennox as an opener, the following tour, entitled “Broken Music,” would be more minimalist. Declaring that the “last time I played in this building was 1982,” near the peak of the Police’s domination of radio, Sting, with two guitarists and a drummer in tow, played Assembly Hall April 17.

Those who haven’t been to the arena recently will be impressed with the care given turning Bruce Weber’s home into a concert venue—the usually confusing acoustics of the gigantic hall were satisfyingly listenable, and extensive robotic lighting, heavy gray curtains and sensible interior decoration suited the aesthetics of a room filled with mostly older women (in groups) or couples. That said, the crowd was healthily familiar with the material, holding up cell phones, the lighter for the Nutrisweet generation, during ballad “Fields of Gold,” for which candles perhaps would have been more appropriate.

Kicking off quickly after opener Phantom Planet’s set with the ever-popular classic rock radio track “Message In A Bottle,” the band quickly dived into world-music Police b-sides, seguing “Voices Inside My Head” into “When The World Is Running Down,” and the distopian “Spirits In A Material World,” but never lost sight of his current adultlike footing. Sting avoided the touchy subject of politics during banter, only mentioning fox hunting (a non-issue for

controversial issues such as racism, body issues and substance abuse.The program tries to put out three shows a semester.

INNER VOICES is made up of three classes. Social Issues Theatre (Theatre 418) tackles all aspects of creating theatre.

Leading Post-Performance Dialog (Theatre 417) teaches students how to moderate discussion sections, specifically regarding social issues. Finally, INNER VOICES: Social Issues Theatre ensemble (Theatre 400M) is the pool from which the cast is taken who both perform Breaking the Silence and facilitate the discussions. Students can participate in the ensemble after taking one or both of the previous classes. Many of the scripts that are performed by the ensemble, including the current production, are created in Theatre 418.

Breaking the Silence performed at different areas on campus. Morrissette says that the ensemble does this in order to bring the show to the students. He thinks that the problem with having one single venue is that the audience has to be proactive to attend. He hopes that by doing performances at various places it will make it easier for people to come.

Katie Jacobsen, an actress and Theatre Studies major, hopes the show will,“bring awareness to the issue. I think it is also good for survivors if they do happen to see the show because not everyone talks about it, so they can get resources … any kind of help is good.”

Morrissette explained what Breaking the Silence and the ensemble strive to achieve.“We also wanted to reach a group of people that can see [sexual assault] as a societal problem.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness month so the whole month is set up to kind of raise that conflict.The other part is to put a face to the statistics. Rarely are we trying to solve and give solution … but we are here to raise that consciousness.” buzz More information on INNER VOICES can be found at their Web site www.innervoices.uiuc.edu or by contacting J.W. Morrissette at (217) 244-5919.

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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HELL, EVERYTHING IS LEGAL IN MEXICO. IT’S THE AMERICAN WAY.

STING ROLLS INTO THE ASSEMBLY HALL

can stay up all night and eat anything.

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

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Americans) as a introduction to a song on the subject, but the songs say what couldn’t easily be said without risk to such a game (and largely older) audience, playing “Driven To Tears” off Zenyatta Mondatta, which Pearl Jam more-topically covered on the same stage during a tour stop two years prior. Another strange match between band and audience is the excellent “Bed’s Too Big Without You”: despite a stellar performance, the angst didn’t con-

nect with the audience.

Ignoring what’s been said to the contrary, Sting still plays excellent bass (but never needs to pay attention to the instrument) and his manners and couture were a fitting complement to his excellent performance.

Drummer Josh Freese (A Perfect Circle) found himself in the difficult situation of being called upon to recreate Steward Copeland playing, undoubtedly one of the best drummers to ever cut vinyl. In addition to exhibiting an excellent sense of Copeland’s sound and energy, in stage lights he seemingly resembled the man.

The two guitarists performed well in reworking the keyboard-rich solo material, but some of original Police guitarist Andy Summer’s more sublime atmospherics, an important ingredient in many of the originals, went by the wayside. That said, the hired hands were up to the material.

Guitarist Shane Fontayne surprisingly, and inappropriately, debuted a harmonica cage during a few songs. Both were given a few chances to take the lead, and while they performed serviceably in this role, the beauty of many of the original songs is the lack of solos: just as the Ramones were taking a stand against running up and down a fretboard, without soul, the Police were silently recording tracks in the same nature, focusing on richness of sound.

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KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

Though the crowd clearly enjoyed solo material like an energetically-performed “If I Ever Lose My Faith In You,” during which it was possible to close your eyes and imagine it more vital than ever, the clear highlight was the vim given to the performance of “Synchroncity II,” the first track on the side B of the final Police album. The progressive sounds of the track, which protests the noise in modern society, combined with excellent work from the band, was all one could hope for.

After a “Roxanne” heavily aided by futuristic lighting and a double-encore, featuring as a highlight early punk-ish Police track “Next To You,” the house lights rose and the hall was filled with piped-in music: Coldplay’s 2002 hit “Clocks,” a jazzy, world-musicy slice of Brit-pop and a track strongly influenced

by Sting’s musical ambitions, existential crises and universal concerns, an unambiguous statement of Gordon Sumner’s imprint on musical culture. buzz

PHOTO BY CLAIRE NAPIER

Sting appeared with a three-piece backing band at Assembly Hall April 17, playing a mix of old Police material and new music. Declaring that “The last time I played this building was 1982,” Sting, as always, was equally effective on vocals while playing his now-iconoclastic bass parts.

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Blueprint 1988 Rhymesayers

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the later ’80s perfectly, back when equipment limitations spurred creativity.The beats capture attention, hit hard and set the perfect tone to each track.

The moods range from sinister (“Boombox”) to amazingly fun (“Big Girls Need Love Too”) to introspective (“Liberated,” “Trouble On My Mind”).The range in songs warrants the inclusion of all 13 to the recording, sidestepping commonly found filler material. For an artist that normally shares duties alongside other artists in collaboration, Blueprint’s ability to maintain quality while covering a variety of ideas bodes well.After digesting the album I immediately thought of his next, looking forward toward what else he has in store for us.

As you can tell I am impressed by this record. I already liked Blueprint’s previous work and feel that this is his best yet. It would be a shame if it hadn’t come out. If you are up on the indie hiphop scene and listen to artists like Edan and Madvillian, I suppose you don’t really need to read this, you most likely already know what’s up. If you are getting up there in age (me!) and reminisce over the good ol’ days then you definitely need to take a listen as these songs would fit right at home next to a Big Daddy Kane video on YO! MTV Raps.With a debut of this quality shaped by such a refreshing concept (especially in these times), Blueprint has proven that he not only can handle the weight but also produce an album that deserves to be heard, and we all need music like that.

1.

Sensation Junkies Once for the Money Sarathan Records

BY BRIAN KLEIN

energetic, self-starting, and

If you are

enjoy talking to people, WPGU may have a place for you on our student sales staff.

With a generous compensation plan and professional training, you have a chance to make some money and gain real world sales experience. Positions are available for summer and fall.

Call 337-3103 or email chuck@wpgu.com for more info.

was completely sure he existed. He suffers through songs he named “Painkiller,” “Crisis Addict,” “Dirty Rag” and “Blown Apart.” He’s tormented and exhausted, and his songs come out negative and cynical. There is nothing uplifting about the up-beat tunes “Never Saw it Coming” and “Basta!”

While having nothing but criticism for the world, Blue offers powerful, vivid lyrics concerning his surroundings. Some hit the mark like the line “these self-inflicted catastrophes are bringing out the ugliest in you and me” in “Basta!” Others fall flat like the simile “My misery spreads like mayonnaise all over the one I love” in “Crisis Addict.” I’m not even sure what he’s saying, but it’s disgusting no matter what it’s supposed to mean. Unfortunately there are more misses than hits throughout the songs.

Blue goes political on more than one occasion, but most memorably in “Canine.” Toward the end of “Canine” (which starts with the line “All the canine are made toothless”) the Sensation Junkies repeat what sounds like George W. Bush saying “America.” At this point Blue laments his conception of the condition and future of the country. He wails to his audience,“Is that a mushroom cloud in your future? ... All the wrong choices have been made for you.”

The world of the Sensation Junkies is dark and painful. Even the song “Love is the Reason” ends on a down note with the line “Love has wrecked me.” Blue’s despair is inescapable. Consequently, it’s a chore to listen to unless you want to wallow in your misery, something which of course has its place and time.

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The Sensation Junkies are an alternative rock band with enough indie rock influence to make it difficult to label them an alternative rock band. Coming out of the Alternative Mecca of Seattle, the group features a foundation of alternative-style guitars and vocals but often tries to do more with their songs. A little blues here, a little yodeling there, and it becomes hard to categorize these guys. But if there are any constants, they must be the vocals of Christopher Blue and the despair apparent in every song.

Blue’s voice sets the tone for Once for the Money’s collection of painful songs. The aptly named Blue trudges through his songs without any hint of content or satisfaction with the world, often taking shots at the idea of religious order. “Maybe Jesus H. Christ will come and take your hurt away,” he says in opener “Ollala.” In the closer “Basta!” Blue refers to “foolish men whose faith has become dangerous” and “empirical aspirations of godliness.”

Blue’s inner demons are evident throughout the album.This is a man that would fight with God if he

THE

Hanging out in C-U this summer with no income?

2.

M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

HURLY-BURLY

The line-up for Lollapalooza has been announced including performances by The Pixies, Dinosaur Jr., Death Cab for Cutie, The Arcade Fire, Liz Phair, The Black Keys, M83, Weezer, Widespread Panic, Blonde Redhead, Dandy Warhols, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Digable Planets, Kasabian and many others. Lollapalooza will be held July 2324 in Chicago’s Grant Park.

Kanye West has announced his sophomore LP, Late Registration, will hit stores July 12 via RocA-Fella.

w H at tH e He L L? MOMENT OF THE WEEK

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Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s posthumous release A Son Unique will be released June 21 jointly via Damon Dash Music and Wu-Tang Records.

ODB was working on A Son Unique at the time of his death last year. The album features contributions from RZA, Ghostface Killah, Raekwon, Method Man, N.O.R.E., Clipse, DJ Premier and The Neptunes.

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SALUTE OUR SHORTS Wednesday, May 4, 7-10 p.m., Free Art + Design Building, 408 E. Peabody Dr. Moving Image II students at the University of Illinois invite you to attend a mini film festival featuring their finest work. Check out shorts of all sizes and styles. From triumph to calamity, humor to melancholy, you’re sure to be entertained. The festival will take place Wednesday, May 4 from 7 to10 p.m. at the Art + Design Building in Room 40. Refreshments will be served at 7pm.

ART and THEATER Centennial High School Student Art Show [For this unique display, the students in artist and educator Shannon Batman's class have created wonderfully expressive self-portraits. The students were inspired by a variety of artists including Frida Kahlo. The framing for this show was partially funded by a Tepper Grant awarded to instructor Shannon Batman.]

Pages For All Ages May 1-May 31 Artist Reception May 13, 5-7pm Mon-Thurs 9am-10pm, Fri-Sat 9am-11pm, Sun 10am-9pm The School of Art + Design Master of Fine Arts Exhibition Krannert Art Museum through May 8.

Opening reception April 30, 5-7pm Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm Suggested Donation: $3 "Invisible Infrastructure: maps and photographs" [Works by Christian Sandvig and Hope Hall] Humanities Lecture Hall, IPRH, 805 W. Pennsylvania Ave, www.iprh.uiuc.edu May 3-July 22, opening reception May 3, 7-9pm Mon-Fri 8:30am-5pm Parkland College Student Fine Art Juried Exhibition 2005 Parkland College Art Gallery through May 7 Mon-Fri, 10am-3pm, Mon-Thu, 6-8pm, Sat, 12-2pm

The festival features the work of:

Susie An Kate Anderson Darrell Ansay Shadie Elnashai Teresa Gale Paige Goldsworthy Melissa Harris Chris Lukeman Shoshana Magnet Joe Mitchell Doug Osborne Aaron Reese Eunji Rhim Doug Seok

Wilco have announced a spate of North American tour dates beginning April 21 including four nights at the Vic Theatre in Chicago May 4-7.

buzz weekly •

TIME FOR SOME GOOD OLD FASHION POLITICALLY CORRECT FUN!

buzz pick

An upcoming book alleges that Brian Epstein, former manager of the Beatles, had a homosexual affair with a member of the greatest rock band ever. Creatively titled, There’s A Beatle in My Closet, it was written by Epstein’s former assistant, Joanne Peterson, who will not reveal which member of the Fab Four is allegedly more fabulous than the others until the book hits shelves. I know everyone is gonna say Ringo, but I’m listening to McCartney’s 1973 solo LP “Red Rose Speedway” right now. And I have to go with Sir Paul.

Missy Elliot’s latest LP, entitled The Cookbook, will be out June 28 and will feature production by the Neptunes among others and guestspots from Tweet, Pharrel and Slick Rick.

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New York [photography by Michael Sher field] Old Vic Art Gallery through April 30 Mon-Thu 11:30am-5:30pm, Fri-Sat 11:30am-4:30pm Quantum Garden [original prints by Charles Segard] Aroma Cafe through June 4 Mon-Sun 7am-12am

Emergence, International Women in the Arts [An international yet local exhibit, featuring artists and performers from all over the globe who live in the C-U community] Verde Gallery through May 21 Tue-Sat 10am- 10pm Mapping Sitting: On Portraiture and Photography [this exhibition ventures into uncharted territory with photographic and video installations and uses portraits by Arab photographers, including passport studio photographs, photo "surprise," itinerant photography, and group portraits to present a dynamic picture of the Middle East. Organized by Walid Raad and Akram Zaatari.]

Krannert Art Museum through June 5.

Gallery conversation and lecture from Radd April 28 at 7pm, KAM lobby Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm Suggested Donation: $3 Healing Works [display of art works by survivors of sexual violence] Independent Media Center through April 30 50,000 Watts [drawings by UIUC Professor Ron Kovatch and new ceramics by retired SIU Professor Dan Anderson] Cinema Gallery through April 30 Tue-Sat 10am-4pm Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon Light Show William M. Staerkel Planetarium at Parkland April 29 & 30 9:30pm, $3-5 On The Rocks [an evening of one-act plays written and acted by U of I students and produced by the Krannert Center Student Association] Fri-Sat, April 29-May 1, @ 9pm Krannert Center Amphitheater, $3.

Call 333-3552 for rain location if needed.

Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Pedro the Lion, Colonel Rhodes, Jiggsaw

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I first became familiar with Blueprint at Scribble Jam, the Midwest’s premier weekend long hip-hop event. His performance in the emcee battle stuck with me, and I soon found myself checkin’ out his many cameos on other artists records (Vaste Aire, Aesop Rock, etc.) as well as on his Soul Position albums in which he collaborates with fellow Ohioan, RJD2. 1988 marks his first solo album release, and many people like myself have been anticipating this album for a while now.

A look over to the Rhymesayers Web site (home to Atmosphere, M.F. Doom, etc.) will get you some info on the album including a statement that reads “1988 pays homage to the beats, breaks and themes of possibly the most revered year in Hip Hop, 1988!” Indeed, if you miss P.E., the Biz, BDP, etc. an album like this is going to be very welcome and long overdue.

With 1988, Blueprint has applied the lessons learned from countless hours listening to the masters from the old-school (learn from this, newjacks, please!).The storytelling is dense, the humor and wit outstanding, and the command of the microphone is powerful.The production quality is the way hip-hop records should be, dirty and, for lack of better term, simple. By streamlining his gear for this record blueprint creates the atmosphere of

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Monday, May 2, Illinois Disciples Foundation, 8pm, $8, All Ages

The new booking outfit in town, Three Guys And A Horse Booking, are bringing a fine show to town on Monday. Pedro the Lion is the vehicle Dave Bazan channels his mellow, soul searched, uncompromising music through. This show is one of only five throughout the country, so get there early as it might easily sell out.

-Cassie Conner

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.S2.COM.BR

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16 • b u z z w e e k l y This Saturday, Grand Prairie FriendsPrairie Grove Volunteers brings you two chances to help preserve natural areas in central Illinois.

Nettie Hart Memorial Woodland Workday Help remove one of the more insidious invasive plants - garlic mustard, as well as other non-natives.

This woodland includes upland forest and floodplain forest along the Sangamon River. Wear gloves and bring drinking water too.

Meet at the Anita Purves Nature Center, 1505 N. Broadway Ave. in Urbana, at 9:00 am to carpool.

Contact Bryant Barnes at 4938686 or bbarnes@prairienet.org for more information.

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Horseshoe Bottom Nature Preserve Spring Wildflower Hike See hill prairies, seeps, and breath-taking views of the Middle Fork of the Vermilion and help preserve the land by pulling garlic mustard along the way. Be prepared for moderate (and maybe a bit wet) hiking. Wear good boots and bring water and a lunch.

Meet at the Anita Purves Nature Center, 1505 N. Broadway Ave. in Urbana, at 9:00 a.m. to carpool to the site or at the Newtown School parking lot at 9:30 a.m.

Contact Rick Larimore at rllarimo@inhs.uiuc.edu or Jim Smith at 896-2079 for more information.

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!!!

Reverend

Horton Heat Highdive, 9pm, $20

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k i n g Jim Heath and Co. return to CU tonight. The alt.rockabilly trio is full of talent, and Heat(h)'s title stems from his inspired live performances, and punk-inspired cathartic music. The group's most recent album, Revival, is a fascinating listen: Heath finds plenty of dark wit in rockabilly a la Tarantino (along with wit and strutting), but the real source of pleasure is his enthusiastic sense of showmanship which informs his songs. For fans of the genre and also those who appreciate some of the more post-modern sounds of the late 80s, the show is $20, and taking place 9pm at the Highdive.

- Kyle Gorman

3ALSA$ANCE

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)$Ă&#x;REQUIRED FULLYĂ&#x;STOCKEDĂ&#x;BAR DRESSĂ&#x;CODEĂ&#x;APPLIES

Ă&#x;WESTĂ&#x;JOHNĂ&#x;STĂ&#x;Ă&#x;\Ă&#x;Ă&#x;CHAMPAIGNĂ&#x;),Ă&#x; Ă&#x;Ă&#x;\Ă&#x;Ă&#x; Ă&#x; Ă&#x; Ă&#x;Ă&#x;\Ă&#x;Ă&#x;WWW RE½NEYOURSELF COM

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sound ground #73 TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

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I’M SO RICH BECAUSE OF WORKING HERE.

music

n brief: The Living Blue, winner at the WPGU-Buzz Local Music Awards 2005 for Best Live Performance and Best Record of 2004, will play Monday night on WEFT Sessions, at 10 on 90.1 FM.The full-length American Minor debut is self-titled and due nationwide on Jive Records July 27.

The Back of My Burning Hand, album number two by The Pitch, went on sale last weekend at C.V. Lloyde Music Center; the official release is Saturday night at The Highdive. With seven tracks that together span 36 minutes, The Back of My Burning Hand derives from a less disciplinarian approach than its ancestor, The Anger Swallow. Ryan Lee and Sarah Kobylewski are its executive producers, and the rest of the longtime lineup—Matt Castelein, Cory Anderson, and Eric Lawrence—is here. So are new bassist since December 2004 Joe Ringle and guest vocalist Eric Toledo of Trances Arc. The Back of My Burning Hand was mastered at The Boiler Room by Collin Jordan. As the band members prepare to graduate and move away, the release show doubles as their farewell show, yet is the debut for opener Pulsar47 (despite a last-minute concert slot at McKinley Foundation last weekend). Show time is 8 p.m., with door at 7p.m., and cover is $3.

The G. Lee show scheduled two weeks ago at Aroma was cancelled due to illness and rescheduled for June 23. In the meantime, Aroma hosts the first of two Darrin Drda gigs this week, tonight at 8 with Ripley Caine of Chicago duo Goldman.

This is a free show. Then, (Darrin Drda’s) Theory of Everything opens tomorrow night at The Iron Post for Mad Science Fair and Maxtone 4. Show time is 10, and cover is $4.Theory of Everything released its second album, ‘Evolution of the ‘Art, March 3.

Like Darrin Drda, Headlights has two gigs this week. First is an all-ages show tomorrow night at Illinois Disciples Foundation with The Impossible Shapes and Rivulets. Show time is 8, and cover is $4. Rivulets will tour Europe from May 18 to June 15, and this is the only show by the band between now and then. Headlights plays again Saturday night at The Iron Post with Everybody Uh Oh and The Elanors.

Show time is 10, and cover is $5.

Everybody Uh Oh performed prolifically in Champaign-Urbana in 2002 and 2003, often with Absinthe Blind, but went on hiatus in 2004 for frontman Jeremy Keller to focus on solo performance.This show is being billed as the “triumphant return� of Everybody Uh Oh to town.

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this week in music

Flook, an Irish quartet from the United Kingdom, will play Wednesday night at Gregory Hall Theater at the University of Illinois. Show time is 8, with door at 7, and tickets are $15 ($10 with school ID and for seniors, and $8 for children under 12).

Advance tickets are available. Capacity is 350 seats, and tickets Wednesday night are first-come, first-serve. Flook features flautists Brian Finnegan and Sarah Allen with the rhythm section of Ed Boyd on guitar and John Joe Kelly on the bodhrĂĄn, a frame drum with a wooden rim. “This concert is sponsored by the Society of Celtic Cultures in association with The Piper’s Hut Concert Series. The SCC is a student organization at the University of Illinois whose mission is to share Celtic music and dance with the campus and surrounding community.â€? The Piper’s Hut is Dean Karres, bodhrĂĄn teacher and member of local trio Triskelion.

#73

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WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO GO TO FUNKY TOWN?

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Todd J. Hunter hosts “WEFT Sessions� and “Champaign Local 901,� two hours of local music every Monday night at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

c h a r t s PARASOL RECORDS TOP 10 SELLERS 1. Orange Peels • Circling The Sun (Parasol) 2. Raveonettes, The • Pretty in Black (Sony) 3. Shout Out Louds • Very Loud EP (U.S.) (Bud Fox/Capitol) 4. Stereolab • Oscillons From The AntiSun (Too Pure) 5. Decemberists • Picaresque (Kill Rock Stars) 6. Architecture in Helsinki • In Case We Die (Bar/None) 7. Lucksmiths • Warmer Corners (Matinee) 8. Durrett, Liz • Husk (Warm) 9. Rouse, Josh • Nashville (Ryko) 10. Various • Yellow Pills: Prefill (Numero)

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buzz pick

Unheard Voices:

May 2

Without

music life would be a mistake.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

thursday April 28

buzz pick

Band Jam 2005 FREE!

SUNDAY, MAY 1

WASHINGTON PARK, CHALMERS BETWEEN SECOND AND THIRD IN CHAMPAIGN

During the mid-90's Champaign-Urbana's music scene exploded with an incredible number of diverse, talented bands that sported a large amount of underground support across the county as well as major record label attention. This is also the time that Band Jam was created as a way to highlight the best local bands that C-U had to offer.

Later that decade, the event disap1:00-1:25pm Green Light Go peared only to be resurrected three 1:35-2:00pm Pulsar47 years ago, making the community a 2:10-2:35pm Shipwreck thriving place for music once again.

2:45-3:10pm Terminus Victor 3:20-3:45pm i:scintilla 3:55-4:20pm Colonel Rhodes 4:30-5:00pm Sincerely Calvin 5:10-5:40pm Animate Objects 5:50-6:20pm The Elanors 6:30-7:05pm Triple Whip 7:20-8:00pm Cameron McGill 8:15-9:00pm Lorenzo Goetz 9:15-10:00pm The Living Blue

Whatever your musical taste, Band Jam has something for you. From an award-winning garage band (The Living Blue), to singer/songwriters (Cameron McGill, The Elanors), to electro (Terminus Victor, i:scintilla), to live hip-hop (Animate Objects), to instrumental melodic noise postrock (Pulsar47), Band Jam has just about everything.

So pack a picnic or have pizza delivered to the park, bring a Frisbee and work on your tan as you spend your day at this free musical event.

-Cassie Conner

Live Music Parkland Big Band The Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Acoustic Music Series: Ripley Caine, Darrin Drda Aroma, 8pm, free Brassknuckle Boys, The Messengers, XXX Smut, Boots and Bracelets, The Insolents [hardcore punk] The Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Reverend Horton Heat, The Supersuckers, Murphy's Law The Highdive, 9pm, $20 Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 9pm, free Briggs Houchin Trio Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Ambitious Pie Party, Below Eden, Machines That Think Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Backyard Tire Fire Paulie's, 10pm, $4 Doxy [cover band] White Horse Inn, 9:30, TBA Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free DJ DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ J-Phlip [house] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Composers and Creations: Haydn and Corigliano [panel discussion] Hillel Foundation, 7-8:30pm, free The Tellers Art - A Shower of Words [storytelling] Verde Gallery, 8pm, $5 Book Discussion: “In Search of the Miraculous” by P.D. Ouspensky [led by Jason Mierek] Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Theater Breaking the Silence [scenes addressing sexual assault, survival, support and speaking out] Lincoln Avenue Residence Hall, 8pm, free

friday April 29

Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Motherlode The Iron Post, 5-8pm, TBA Billy Galt Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Lilia Griffin Borders, 8-10pm, free The Impossible Shapes, Rivulets, Headlights IDF, 8pm, $4 The John Popper Project featuring DJ Logic and members of Blues Traveler The Canopy Club, 9pm, $20 The Ending, i:scintilla, Troubled Hubble, Nadafinga Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Mad Science Fair, Maxtone Four, Theory of Everything The Iron Post, 10pm, $4 Treologic Nargile, 10pm, TBA Renegade Tommy G's, 10pm, cover The Brat Pack [80's retro/party] Fat City Saloon, 8:30 PM DJ DJ Elise Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ J-Philip OR DJ Lil Big Bass Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Bozak [hip hop, downtempo] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5

Special Events Arbor Day Ceremony Parkland College, 10am Theater Come See Our Shorts [A collection of 30 student written 2-min plays. Comedy, drama, and even a musical. Pick the order they are performed in. Special guest Citizen Curmudgeon!]

Courtyard Cafe, 10pm, $3 Comedy Atomic Bomb Raffle Channing Murray Foundation, 8-9pm, $1

DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, TBA Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Family Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free Family Festival [Family fun for all ages with live music] Krannert Art Museum, 10am-12pm

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Whirlwind Poetry and Prose Verde Gallery, 3-5pm

Dance UIUC Department of Dance presents Funk Shui: BFA Thesis Concert Krannert Center, Room 2500, 7pm & 9pm, free

Dance UIUC Department of Dance presents Funk Shui: BFA Thesis Concert Krannert Center, Room 2500, 7pm & 9pm, free

Film The Silver Cord [an independent film produced by the School of Metaphysics] 314 Altgeld Hall, UIUC, 3:30pm, free

saturday sunday May 1

Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 The Pitch, Pulsar47 The Highdive, 8-10:30pm, $3 Backyard Tire Fire, The Reverend Peyton's, Big Damn Band Friends & Co., 9pm, TBA The Bird Dogs, Scotty Kay and the Continentals Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Headlights, The Beauty Shop and The Elanors The Iron Post, 10pm, $5 Terminus Victor, Evil Beaver, Johnny Deformed Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4

Live Music BAND JAM 2005: The Living Blue, Lorenzo Goetz, Cameron McGill, Triple Whip, The elanors, Animate Objects, The Greedy Loves, Colonel Rhodes, Sincerely Calvin, Terminus Victor, Shipwreck, Pulsar47, i:scintilla, Green Light Go Frat Park (Washington Park), 1-10:30pm, free The Commander Cody Band, Heartsfield The Highdive, 6pm, $10/advance, $12/door Mark Erelli, Joni Laurence and Rachel Garlin Cowboy Monkey, 7pm, $5 The Delegates, Pkdores, Evil Empire, Missing in Action, Alleyway Sex Red Herring, 7pm, $6 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free Angelus Handbell Choir Concert The Grace United Methodist Church in Urbana, 6pm, free

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [80's rewind/funk classics] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

•

s o u n d s

DJ UC Hip Hop presents Chill in the Grill The Canopy Club, 9pm, free Ear Candy [house DJs] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [deep sultry house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Missus Mike 'n Molly's, TBA

tuesday May 3

April 30

DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Mellow Fellow [hip hop/retro/R&B] Nargile, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Bottini, 10:30pm, free JAB Tommy G's, 10pm, cover

Live Music Pedro the Lion, Colonel Rhodes, Jiggsaw IDF, 8pm, $8 Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Quad Remedy Tommy G's, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Love, Freedom, and Carnivals Parkland Theatre, 7pm, free Dave and Steve [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, TBA JazzJam with ParaDocs The Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA

f r o m

Live Music Subversion Presents An Evening with Hungry Lucy, Bloodwire, DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [electronica/goth/industrial] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Mike Armintrout The Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greelee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Kate Hathaway Band White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip OR DJ Lil Big Bass Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Mike n' Molly's, TBA 80's Request Night with DJ Reaganomics Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

t h e

s c e n e •

Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free

An Exhibit Exploring our Community

Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9

OPENING RECEPTION TOMORROW 4/29, 5-7 P.M. @ CIVITAS 112 W. MAIN, URBANA ON DISPLAY THROUGH MAY 4.

Family Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free

wednesday May 4

Live Music Flook [contemporary, acoustic Irish music] Gregory Hall, UIUC, 8pm, $10/student, $15/non Green Mountain Grass The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Apollo Project Nargile, 10pm, free Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8-10pm

Tomorrow night, Civitas—UIUC’s community outreach center—opens its doors for the students of Art and Design 391 to show how they have obtained an increased understanding of and empathy for the Champaign-Urbana community.

All semester, University of Illinois students from a variety of backgrounds have worked within the community in an attempt to understand the lives and hear the voices of different disenfranchised populations, including elderly citizens, troubled youths and sexual violence survivors.

Unheard Voices is the student’s attempt to transfer their experiences to the community through artistic expression.

From 5 to 7 p.m., students will share their experiences, discuss the exhibit and reflect on how they obtained a higher level of empathy for the wide community around them. Wine and refreshments will be served.

Unheard Voices is free and open to the public.

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Bafly, 10pm, free DJ Roc On [latin house] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free

– π E r i n Scottberg

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness UIUC Yoga Club Illini Union room 406, 7:30pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Lecture, Presentation & Book Signing: Linda Scott Verde Gallery, 8pm Book Discussion: "Siddhartha”

by Hermann Hesse Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free

Puzzle

pg.27

v e n u e s C H A M P A I G N

|

U R B A N A

ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE BRIDGE | 124 W. White St. Champaign THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana0 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JACKSON’S RIBS-N-TIPS| 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950

15

14

monday

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free

LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LES’S LOUNGE | 403 N Coler, Urbana 328-4000 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE | 12 E. Washington,Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SIDE BAR | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC CENTER | 108 Water St., Urbana VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WAKE THE DEAD CAFE | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 WASHINGTON STREET PUB | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

buzz pick

Unheard Voices:

May 2

Without

music life would be a mistake.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

thursday April 28

buzz pick

Band Jam 2005 FREE!

SUNDAY, MAY 1

WASHINGTON PARK, CHALMERS BETWEEN SECOND AND THIRD IN CHAMPAIGN

During the mid-90's Champaign-Urbana's music scene exploded with an incredible number of diverse, talented bands that sported a large amount of underground support across the county as well as major record label attention. This is also the time that Band Jam was created as a way to highlight the best local bands that C-U had to offer.

Later that decade, the event disap1:00-1:25pm Green Light Go peared only to be resurrected three 1:35-2:00pm Pulsar47 years ago, making the community a 2:10-2:35pm Shipwreck thriving place for music once again.

2:45-3:10pm Terminus Victor 3:20-3:45pm i:scintilla 3:55-4:20pm Colonel Rhodes 4:30-5:00pm Sincerely Calvin 5:10-5:40pm Animate Objects 5:50-6:20pm The Elanors 6:30-7:05pm Triple Whip 7:20-8:00pm Cameron McGill 8:15-9:00pm Lorenzo Goetz 9:15-10:00pm The Living Blue

Whatever your musical taste, Band Jam has something for you. From an award-winning garage band (The Living Blue), to singer/songwriters (Cameron McGill, The Elanors), to electro (Terminus Victor, i:scintilla), to live hip-hop (Animate Objects), to instrumental melodic noise postrock (Pulsar47), Band Jam has just about everything.

So pack a picnic or have pizza delivered to the park, bring a Frisbee and work on your tan as you spend your day at this free musical event.

-Cassie Conner

Live Music Parkland Big Band The Iron Post, 7pm, TBA Acoustic Music Series: Ripley Caine, Darrin Drda Aroma, 8pm, free Brassknuckle Boys, The Messengers, XXX Smut, Boots and Bracelets, The Insolents [hardcore punk] The Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Reverend Horton Heat, The Supersuckers, Murphy's Law The Highdive, 9pm, $20 Jammin' Jimmy Bean Tommy G's, 9pm, free Briggs Houchin Trio Zorba's, 9:30pm, $3 Ambitious Pie Party, Below Eden, Machines That Think Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Backyard Tire Fire Paulie's, 10pm, $4 Doxy [cover band] White Horse Inn, 9:30, TBA Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free DJ DJ Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8pm, TBA DJ J-Phlip [house] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Bozak Boltini, 10:30pm, free

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Pia's of Rantoul, 9pm-1am, free Dancing UIUC Swing Society McKinley Foundation 9:30pm-12am, free Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9 Belly Dance for Fitness Gold’s Gym, Champaign, 7:30pm, $7-$9 Wine Tasting Krannert Uncorked Krannert Art Center Lobby 5pm, free

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Composers and Creations: Haydn and Corigliano [panel discussion] Hillel Foundation, 7-8:30pm, free The Tellers Art - A Shower of Words [storytelling] Verde Gallery, 8pm, $5 Book Discussion: “In Search of the Miraculous” by P.D. Ouspensky [led by Jason Mierek] Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free Theater Breaking the Silence [scenes addressing sexual assault, survival, support and speaking out] Lincoln Avenue Residence Hall, 8pm, free

friday April 29

Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Motherlode The Iron Post, 5-8pm, TBA Billy Galt Tommy G's, 5-7pm, free Lilia Griffin Borders, 8-10pm, free The Impossible Shapes, Rivulets, Headlights IDF, 8pm, $4 The John Popper Project featuring DJ Logic and members of Blues Traveler The Canopy Club, 9pm, $20 The Ending, i:scintilla, Troubled Hubble, Nadafinga Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Mad Science Fair, Maxtone Four, Theory of Everything The Iron Post, 10pm, $4 Treologic Nargile, 10pm, TBA Renegade Tommy G's, 10pm, cover The Brat Pack [80's retro/party] Fat City Saloon, 8:30 PM DJ DJ Elise Boltini, 6-10pm, free DJ J-Philip OR DJ Lil Big Bass Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm-2am, TBA DJ Bozak [hip hop, downtempo] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10:30pm, $5

Special Events Arbor Day Ceremony Parkland College, 10am Theater Come See Our Shorts [A collection of 30 student written 2-min plays. Comedy, drama, and even a musical. Pick the order they are performed in. Special guest Citizen Curmudgeon!]

Courtyard Cafe, 10pm, $3 Comedy Atomic Bomb Raffle Channing Murray Foundation, 8-9pm, $1

DJ White Horse Inn, 10pm, TBA Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's, 9pm-1am, free Family Storytime Pages for All Ages, 11am, free Family Festival [Family fun for all ages with live music] Krannert Art Museum, 10am-12pm

Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Whirlwind Poetry and Prose Verde Gallery, 3-5pm

Dance UIUC Department of Dance presents Funk Shui: BFA Thesis Concert Krannert Center, Room 2500, 7pm & 9pm, free

Dance UIUC Department of Dance presents Funk Shui: BFA Thesis Concert Krannert Center, Room 2500, 7pm & 9pm, free

Film The Silver Cord [an independent film produced by the School of Metaphysics] 314 Altgeld Hall, UIUC, 3:30pm, free

saturday sunday May 1

Live Music Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 The Pitch, Pulsar47 The Highdive, 8-10:30pm, $3 Backyard Tire Fire, The Reverend Peyton's, Big Damn Band Friends & Co., 9pm, TBA The Bird Dogs, Scotty Kay and the Continentals Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $4 Headlights, The Beauty Shop and The Elanors The Iron Post, 10pm, $5 Terminus Victor, Evil Beaver, Johnny Deformed Mike 'n Molly's, 10pm, $4

Live Music BAND JAM 2005: The Living Blue, Lorenzo Goetz, Cameron McGill, Triple Whip, The elanors, Animate Objects, The Greedy Loves, Colonel Rhodes, Sincerely Calvin, Terminus Victor, Shipwreck, Pulsar47, i:scintilla, Green Light Go Frat Park (Washington Park), 1-10:30pm, free The Commander Cody Band, Heartsfield The Highdive, 6pm, $10/advance, $12/door Mark Erelli, Joni Laurence and Rachel Garlin Cowboy Monkey, 7pm, $5 The Delegates, Pkdores, Evil Empire, Missing in Action, Alleyway Sex Red Herring, 7pm, $6 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Liquid Courage Open Mic Night Geovanti's, 8pm-12am, free Angelus Handbell Choir Concert The Grace United Methodist Church in Urbana, 6pm, free

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | W I N E & D I N E | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | C L A S S I F I E D S

DJ DJ Wesjile [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ JB [80's rewind/funk classics] Boltini, 10:30pm, free

•

s o u n d s

DJ UC Hip Hop presents Chill in the Grill The Canopy Club, 9pm, free Ear Candy [house DJs] Nargile, 9pm, free DJ Delayney [hip hop/soul] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Elise [deep sultry house] Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Missus Mike 'n Molly's, TBA

tuesday May 3

April 30

DJ DJ Mighty Dog Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 9pm, TBA DJ Paulie's, 9pm, free DJ Resonate [hip hop] Barfly, 10pm, free DJ Mellow Fellow [hip hop/retro/R&B] Nargile, 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams [top 40/hip hop/house/dance] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ Bottini, 10:30pm, free JAB Tommy G's, 10pm, cover

Live Music Pedro the Lion, Colonel Rhodes, Jiggsaw IDF, 8pm, $8 Open Mic Night hosted by Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Quad Remedy Tommy G's, 10pm, free Finga Lickin' The Office, 10:30pm, free Love, Freedom, and Carnivals Parkland Theatre, 7pm, free Dave and Steve [cover band] White Horse Inn, 10pm, TBA JazzJam with ParaDocs The Iron Post, 7-10pm, TBA

f r o m

Live Music Subversion Presents An Evening with Hungry Lucy, Bloodwire, DJ ZoZo, DJ Evily, DJ TwinScin [electronica/goth/industrial] The Highdive, 10pm, $5 Bluegrass Jam Verde Gallery, 7-9:30pm, free Open Jam/Open Mic hosted by Mike Armintrout The Canopy Club, 9pm, 21+/free, $2/under 21 The Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Adam Wolfe's Acoustic Night with Jess Greelee Tommy G's, 10pm, free Kate Hathaway Band White Horse Inn, 10pm, free Open Stage Espresso Royale Goodwin & Oregon, 8pm, free DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm, free DJ J-Phlip OR DJ Lil Big Bass Boltini, 10:30pm, free DJ Mike n' Molly's, TBA 80's Request Night with DJ Reaganomics Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free

t h e

s c e n e •

Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo's , 9pm-1am, free

An Exhibit Exploring our Community

Fitness Belly Dance for Fitness The Fitness Center Champaign, 8pm, $7-$9

OPENING RECEPTION TOMORROW 4/29, 5-7 P.M. @ CIVITAS 112 W. MAIN, URBANA ON DISPLAY THROUGH MAY 4.

Family Storytime Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free

wednesday May 4

Live Music Flook [contemporary, acoustic Irish music] Gregory Hall, UIUC, 8pm, $10/student, $15/non Green Mountain Grass The Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Apollo Project Nargile, 10pm, free Ed O'Hare and Friends Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free Blues Night: Kilborn Alley Tommy G's, 10pm, free Chambana Jackson's Ribs-N-Tips, 8-10pm

Tomorrow night, Civitas—UIUC’s community outreach center—opens its doors for the students of Art and Design 391 to show how they have obtained an increased understanding of and empathy for the Champaign-Urbana community.

All semester, University of Illinois students from a variety of backgrounds have worked within the community in an attempt to understand the lives and hear the voices of different disenfranchised populations, including elderly citizens, troubled youths and sexual violence survivors.

Unheard Voices is the student’s attempt to transfer their experiences to the community through artistic expression.

From 5 to 7 p.m., students will share their experiences, discuss the exhibit and reflect on how they obtained a higher level of empathy for the wide community around them. Wine and refreshments will be served.

Unheard Voices is free and open to the public.

DJ Chef Ra [roots, reggae] Bafly, 10pm, free DJ Roc On [latin house] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free DJ Boltini, 10:30pm, free

– π E r i n Scottberg

Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti's, 10pm-2am, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Open Poetry Night [writers may read their own work or just listen] Illini Union Bookstore,7-8 pm Fitness UIUC Yoga Club Illini Union room 406, 7:30pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Lectures, Meetings, Discussions Lecture, Presentation & Book Signing: Linda Scott Verde Gallery, 8pm Book Discussion: "Siddhartha”

by Hermann Hesse Pages for All Ages, 7pm, free

Puzzle

pg.27

v e n u e s C H A M P A I G N

|

U R B A N A

ASSEMBLY HALL | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 AMERICAN LEGION POST 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 AMERICAN LEGION POST 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 BARFLY | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 BOLTINI LOUNGE | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 BOARDMAN’S ART THEATER | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 THE BRASS RAIL | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 THE BRIDGE | 124 W. White St. Champaign THE CANOPY CLUB (GARDEN GRILL) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 367-3140 CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana0 COURTYARD CAFE | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 COWBOY MONKEY | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 CURTIS ORCHARD | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. DIGGERS | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 ELMER’S CLUB 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 EMBASSY TAVERN & GRILL | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 ESQUIRE LOUNGE | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 FALLON’S ICE HOUSE | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 FAT CITY SALOON | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 THE GREAT IMPASTA | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 THE HIGHDIVE | 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 HUBER’S | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 ILLINOIS DISCIPLES FOUNDATION | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 INDEPENDENT MEDIA CENTER | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 THE IRON POST | 120 S Race, Urbana 337-7678 JACKSON’S RIBS-N-TIPS| 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 JOE’S BREWERY | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 KRANNERT ART MUSEUM | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 333-1861 KRANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 333-6280, 800-KCPATIX LA CASA CULTURAL LATINA | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950

15

14

monday

Karaoke "G" Force Karaoke Neil St. Pub, 8pm-12am, free

LAVA | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 LES’S LOUNGE | 403 N Coler, Urbana 328-4000 LINCOLN CASTLE | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 MALIBU BAY LOUNGE | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 MIKE ‘N’ MOLLY’S | 105 N Market, Champaign 355-1236 NARGILE | 207 W Clark, Champaign NEIL STREET PUB | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 THE OFFICE | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE | 12 E. Washington,Champaign http://opensource.boxwith.com PARKLAND COLLEGE | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 PHOENIX | 215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 PIA’S OF RANTOUL | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 RED HERRING/CHANNING-MURRAY FOUNDATION | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 ROSE BOWL TAVERN | 106 N Race, Urbana 367-7031 SIDE BAR | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 SPRINGER CULTURAL CENTER | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 SPURLOCK MUSEUM | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333-2360 THE STATION THEATRE | 223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 STRAWBERRY FIELDS CAFE | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK WENDL’S | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 TOMMY G’S | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TONIC | 619 S Wright, Champaign 356-6768 UNIVERSITY YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC CENTER | 108 Water St., Urbana VERDE/VERDANT | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 VIRGINIA THEATRE | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 WAKE THE DEAD CAFE | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 WASHINGTON STREET PUB | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 WHITE HORSE INN | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 ZORBA’S | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

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16 • b u z z w e e k l y This Saturday, Grand Prairie FriendsPrairie Grove Volunteers brings you two chances to help preserve natural areas in central Illinois.

Nettie Hart Memorial Woodland Workday Help remove one of the more insidious invasive plants - garlic mustard, as well as other non-natives.

This woodland includes upland forest and floodplain forest along the Sangamon River. Wear gloves and bring drinking water too.

Meet at the Anita Purves Nature Center, 1505 N. Broadway Ave. in Urbana, at 9:00 am to carpool.

Contact Bryant Barnes at 4938686 or bbarnes@prairienet.org for more information.

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Horseshoe Bottom Nature Preserve Spring Wildflower Hike See hill prairies, seeps, and breath-taking views of the Middle Fork of the Vermilion and help preserve the land by pulling garlic mustard along the way. Be prepared for moderate (and maybe a bit wet) hiking. Wear good boots and bring water and a lunch.

Meet at the Anita Purves Nature Center, 1505 N. Broadway Ave. in Urbana, at 9:00 a.m. to carpool to the site or at the Newtown School parking lot at 9:30 a.m.

Contact Rick Larimore at rllarimo@inhs.uiuc.edu or Jim Smith at 896-2079 for more information.

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!!!

Reverend

Horton Heat Highdive, 9pm, $20

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k i n g Jim Heath and Co. return to CU tonight. The alt.rockabilly trio is full of talent, and Heat(h)'s title stems from his inspired live performances, and punk-inspired cathartic music. The group's most recent album, Revival, is a fascinating listen: Heath finds plenty of dark wit in rockabilly a la Tarantino (along with wit and strutting), but the real source of pleasure is his enthusiastic sense of showmanship which informs his songs. For fans of the genre and also those who appreciate some of the more post-modern sounds of the late 80s, the show is $20, and taking place 9pm at the Highdive.

- Kyle Gorman

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sound ground #73 TODD J. HUNTER • STAFF WRITER

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I’M SO RICH BECAUSE OF WORKING HERE.

music

n brief: The Living Blue, winner at the WPGU-Buzz Local Music Awards 2005 for Best Live Performance and Best Record of 2004, will play Monday night on WEFT Sessions, at 10 on 90.1 FM.The full-length American Minor debut is self-titled and due nationwide on Jive Records July 27.

The Back of My Burning Hand, album number two by The Pitch, went on sale last weekend at C.V. Lloyde Music Center; the official release is Saturday night at The Highdive. With seven tracks that together span 36 minutes, The Back of My Burning Hand derives from a less disciplinarian approach than its ancestor, The Anger Swallow. Ryan Lee and Sarah Kobylewski are its executive producers, and the rest of the longtime lineup—Matt Castelein, Cory Anderson, and Eric Lawrence—is here. So are new bassist since December 2004 Joe Ringle and guest vocalist Eric Toledo of Trances Arc. The Back of My Burning Hand was mastered at The Boiler Room by Collin Jordan. As the band members prepare to graduate and move away, the release show doubles as their farewell show, yet is the debut for opener Pulsar47 (despite a last-minute concert slot at McKinley Foundation last weekend). Show time is 8 p.m., with door at 7p.m., and cover is $3.

The G. Lee show scheduled two weeks ago at Aroma was cancelled due to illness and rescheduled for June 23. In the meantime, Aroma hosts the first of two Darrin Drda gigs this week, tonight at 8 with Ripley Caine of Chicago duo Goldman.

This is a free show. Then, (Darrin Drda’s) Theory of Everything opens tomorrow night at The Iron Post for Mad Science Fair and Maxtone 4. Show time is 10, and cover is $4.Theory of Everything released its second album, ‘Evolution of the ‘Art, March 3.

Like Darrin Drda, Headlights has two gigs this week. First is an all-ages show tomorrow night at Illinois Disciples Foundation with The Impossible Shapes and Rivulets. Show time is 8, and cover is $4. Rivulets will tour Europe from May 18 to June 15, and this is the only show by the band between now and then. Headlights plays again Saturday night at The Iron Post with Everybody Uh Oh and The Elanors.

Show time is 10, and cover is $5.

Everybody Uh Oh performed prolifically in Champaign-Urbana in 2002 and 2003, often with Absinthe Blind, but went on hiatus in 2004 for frontman Jeremy Keller to focus on solo performance.This show is being billed as the “triumphant return� of Everybody Uh Oh to town.

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this week in music

Flook, an Irish quartet from the United Kingdom, will play Wednesday night at Gregory Hall Theater at the University of Illinois. Show time is 8, with door at 7, and tickets are $15 ($10 with school ID and for seniors, and $8 for children under 12).

Advance tickets are available. Capacity is 350 seats, and tickets Wednesday night are first-come, first-serve. Flook features flautists Brian Finnegan and Sarah Allen with the rhythm section of Ed Boyd on guitar and John Joe Kelly on the bodhrĂĄn, a frame drum with a wooden rim. “This concert is sponsored by the Society of Celtic Cultures in association with The Piper’s Hut Concert Series. The SCC is a student organization at the University of Illinois whose mission is to share Celtic music and dance with the campus and surrounding community.â€? The Piper’s Hut is Dean Karres, bodhrĂĄn teacher and member of local trio Triskelion.

#73

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WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO GO TO FUNKY TOWN?

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Todd J. Hunter hosts “WEFT Sessions� and “Champaign Local 901,� two hours of local music every Monday night at 10 on 90.1 FM. Send news to soundground@excite.com.

c h a r t s PARASOL RECORDS TOP 10 SELLERS 1. Orange Peels • Circling The Sun (Parasol) 2. Raveonettes, The • Pretty in Black (Sony) 3. Shout Out Louds • Very Loud EP (U.S.) (Bud Fox/Capitol) 4. Stereolab • Oscillons From The AntiSun (Too Pure) 5. Decemberists • Picaresque (Kill Rock Stars) 6. Architecture in Helsinki • In Case We Die (Bar/None) 7. Lucksmiths • Warmer Corners (Matinee) 8. Durrett, Liz • Husk (Warm) 9. Rouse, Josh • Nashville (Ryko) 10. Various • Yellow Pills: Prefill (Numero)

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Blueprint 1988 Rhymesayers

BY DJ BOZAK

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the later ’80s perfectly, back when equipment limitations spurred creativity.The beats capture attention, hit hard and set the perfect tone to each track.

The moods range from sinister (“Boombox”) to amazingly fun (“Big Girls Need Love Too”) to introspective (“Liberated,” “Trouble On My Mind”).The range in songs warrants the inclusion of all 13 to the recording, sidestepping commonly found filler material. For an artist that normally shares duties alongside other artists in collaboration, Blueprint’s ability to maintain quality while covering a variety of ideas bodes well.After digesting the album I immediately thought of his next, looking forward toward what else he has in store for us.

As you can tell I am impressed by this record. I already liked Blueprint’s previous work and feel that this is his best yet. It would be a shame if it hadn’t come out. If you are up on the indie hiphop scene and listen to artists like Edan and Madvillian, I suppose you don’t really need to read this, you most likely already know what’s up. If you are getting up there in age (me!) and reminisce over the good ol’ days then you definitely need to take a listen as these songs would fit right at home next to a Big Daddy Kane video on YO! MTV Raps.With a debut of this quality shaped by such a refreshing concept (especially in these times), Blueprint has proven that he not only can handle the weight but also produce an album that deserves to be heard, and we all need music like that.

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Sensation Junkies Once for the Money Sarathan Records

BY BRIAN KLEIN

energetic, self-starting, and

If you are

enjoy talking to people, WPGU may have a place for you on our student sales staff.

With a generous compensation plan and professional training, you have a chance to make some money and gain real world sales experience. Positions are available for summer and fall.

Call 337-3103 or email chuck@wpgu.com for more info.

was completely sure he existed. He suffers through songs he named “Painkiller,” “Crisis Addict,” “Dirty Rag” and “Blown Apart.” He’s tormented and exhausted, and his songs come out negative and cynical. There is nothing uplifting about the up-beat tunes “Never Saw it Coming” and “Basta!”

While having nothing but criticism for the world, Blue offers powerful, vivid lyrics concerning his surroundings. Some hit the mark like the line “these self-inflicted catastrophes are bringing out the ugliest in you and me” in “Basta!” Others fall flat like the simile “My misery spreads like mayonnaise all over the one I love” in “Crisis Addict.” I’m not even sure what he’s saying, but it’s disgusting no matter what it’s supposed to mean. Unfortunately there are more misses than hits throughout the songs.

Blue goes political on more than one occasion, but most memorably in “Canine.” Toward the end of “Canine” (which starts with the line “All the canine are made toothless”) the Sensation Junkies repeat what sounds like George W. Bush saying “America.” At this point Blue laments his conception of the condition and future of the country. He wails to his audience,“Is that a mushroom cloud in your future? ... All the wrong choices have been made for you.”

The world of the Sensation Junkies is dark and painful. Even the song “Love is the Reason” ends on a down note with the line “Love has wrecked me.” Blue’s despair is inescapable. Consequently, it’s a chore to listen to unless you want to wallow in your misery, something which of course has its place and time.

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The Sensation Junkies are an alternative rock band with enough indie rock influence to make it difficult to label them an alternative rock band. Coming out of the Alternative Mecca of Seattle, the group features a foundation of alternative-style guitars and vocals but often tries to do more with their songs. A little blues here, a little yodeling there, and it becomes hard to categorize these guys. But if there are any constants, they must be the vocals of Christopher Blue and the despair apparent in every song.

Blue’s voice sets the tone for Once for the Money’s collection of painful songs. The aptly named Blue trudges through his songs without any hint of content or satisfaction with the world, often taking shots at the idea of religious order. “Maybe Jesus H. Christ will come and take your hurt away,” he says in opener “Ollala.” In the closer “Basta!” Blue refers to “foolish men whose faith has become dangerous” and “empirical aspirations of godliness.”

Blue’s inner demons are evident throughout the album.This is a man that would fight with God if he

THE

Hanging out in C-U this summer with no income?

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HURLY-BURLY

The line-up for Lollapalooza has been announced including performances by The Pixies, Dinosaur Jr., Death Cab for Cutie, The Arcade Fire, Liz Phair, The Black Keys, M83, Weezer, Widespread Panic, Blonde Redhead, Dandy Warhols, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Digable Planets, Kasabian and many others. Lollapalooza will be held July 2324 in Chicago’s Grant Park.

Kanye West has announced his sophomore LP, Late Registration, will hit stores July 12 via RocA-Fella.

w H at tH e He L L? MOMENT OF THE WEEK

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Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s posthumous release A Son Unique will be released June 21 jointly via Damon Dash Music and Wu-Tang Records.

ODB was working on A Son Unique at the time of his death last year. The album features contributions from RZA, Ghostface Killah, Raekwon, Method Man, N.O.R.E., Clipse, DJ Premier and The Neptunes.

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SALUTE OUR SHORTS Wednesday, May 4, 7-10 p.m., Free Art + Design Building, 408 E. Peabody Dr. Moving Image II students at the University of Illinois invite you to attend a mini film festival featuring their finest work. Check out shorts of all sizes and styles. From triumph to calamity, humor to melancholy, you’re sure to be entertained. The festival will take place Wednesday, May 4 from 7 to10 p.m. at the Art + Design Building in Room 40. Refreshments will be served at 7pm.

ART and THEATER Centennial High School Student Art Show [For this unique display, the students in artist and educator Shannon Batman's class have created wonderfully expressive self-portraits. The students were inspired by a variety of artists including Frida Kahlo. The framing for this show was partially funded by a Tepper Grant awarded to instructor Shannon Batman.]

Pages For All Ages May 1-May 31 Artist Reception May 13, 5-7pm Mon-Thurs 9am-10pm, Fri-Sat 9am-11pm, Sun 10am-9pm The School of Art + Design Master of Fine Arts Exhibition Krannert Art Museum through May 8.

Opening reception April 30, 5-7pm Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm Suggested Donation: $3 "Invisible Infrastructure: maps and photographs" [Works by Christian Sandvig and Hope Hall] Humanities Lecture Hall, IPRH, 805 W. Pennsylvania Ave, www.iprh.uiuc.edu May 3-July 22, opening reception May 3, 7-9pm Mon-Fri 8:30am-5pm Parkland College Student Fine Art Juried Exhibition 2005 Parkland College Art Gallery through May 7 Mon-Fri, 10am-3pm, Mon-Thu, 6-8pm, Sat, 12-2pm

The festival features the work of:

Susie An Kate Anderson Darrell Ansay Shadie Elnashai Teresa Gale Paige Goldsworthy Melissa Harris Chris Lukeman Shoshana Magnet Joe Mitchell Doug Osborne Aaron Reese Eunji Rhim Doug Seok

Wilco have announced a spate of North American tour dates beginning April 21 including four nights at the Vic Theatre in Chicago May 4-7.

buzz weekly •

TIME FOR SOME GOOD OLD FASHION POLITICALLY CORRECT FUN!

buzz pick

An upcoming book alleges that Brian Epstein, former manager of the Beatles, had a homosexual affair with a member of the greatest rock band ever. Creatively titled, There’s A Beatle in My Closet, it was written by Epstein’s former assistant, Joanne Peterson, who will not reveal which member of the Fab Four is allegedly more fabulous than the others until the book hits shelves. I know everyone is gonna say Ringo, but I’m listening to McCartney’s 1973 solo LP “Red Rose Speedway” right now. And I have to go with Sir Paul.

Missy Elliot’s latest LP, entitled The Cookbook, will be out June 28 and will feature production by the Neptunes among others and guestspots from Tweet, Pharrel and Slick Rick.

M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

New York [photography by Michael Sher field] Old Vic Art Gallery through April 30 Mon-Thu 11:30am-5:30pm, Fri-Sat 11:30am-4:30pm Quantum Garden [original prints by Charles Segard] Aroma Cafe through June 4 Mon-Sun 7am-12am

Emergence, International Women in the Arts [An international yet local exhibit, featuring artists and performers from all over the globe who live in the C-U community] Verde Gallery through May 21 Tue-Sat 10am- 10pm Mapping Sitting: On Portraiture and Photography [this exhibition ventures into uncharted territory with photographic and video installations and uses portraits by Arab photographers, including passport studio photographs, photo "surprise," itinerant photography, and group portraits to present a dynamic picture of the Middle East. Organized by Walid Raad and Akram Zaatari.]

Krannert Art Museum through June 5.

Gallery conversation and lecture from Radd April 28 at 7pm, KAM lobby Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm Suggested Donation: $3 Healing Works [display of art works by survivors of sexual violence] Independent Media Center through April 30 50,000 Watts [drawings by UIUC Professor Ron Kovatch and new ceramics by retired SIU Professor Dan Anderson] Cinema Gallery through April 30 Tue-Sat 10am-4pm Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon Light Show William M. Staerkel Planetarium at Parkland April 29 & 30 9:30pm, $3-5 On The Rocks [an evening of one-act plays written and acted by U of I students and produced by the Krannert Center Student Association] Fri-Sat, April 29-May 1, @ 9pm Krannert Center Amphitheater, $3.

Call 333-3552 for rain location if needed.

Aroma Cafe is looking for artists to exhibit their work. If you are interested in exhibiting your art, please contact Amanda Bickel, art coordinator at Aroma Cafe at art4aroma@yahoo.com.

Pedro the Lion, Colonel Rhodes, Jiggsaw

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I first became familiar with Blueprint at Scribble Jam, the Midwest’s premier weekend long hip-hop event. His performance in the emcee battle stuck with me, and I soon found myself checkin’ out his many cameos on other artists records (Vaste Aire, Aesop Rock, etc.) as well as on his Soul Position albums in which he collaborates with fellow Ohioan, RJD2. 1988 marks his first solo album release, and many people like myself have been anticipating this album for a while now.

A look over to the Rhymesayers Web site (home to Atmosphere, M.F. Doom, etc.) will get you some info on the album including a statement that reads “1988 pays homage to the beats, breaks and themes of possibly the most revered year in Hip Hop, 1988!” Indeed, if you miss P.E., the Biz, BDP, etc. an album like this is going to be very welcome and long overdue.

With 1988, Blueprint has applied the lessons learned from countless hours listening to the masters from the old-school (learn from this, newjacks, please!).The storytelling is dense, the humor and wit outstanding, and the command of the microphone is powerful.The production quality is the way hip-hop records should be, dirty and, for lack of better term, simple. By streamlining his gear for this record blueprint creates the atmosphere of

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Monday, May 2, Illinois Disciples Foundation, 8pm, $8, All Ages

The new booking outfit in town, Three Guys And A Horse Booking, are bringing a fine show to town on Monday. Pedro the Lion is the vehicle Dave Bazan channels his mellow, soul searched, uncompromising music through. This show is one of only five throughout the country, so get there early as it might easily sell out.

-Cassie Conner

PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.S2.COM.BR

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IT APPEARS THAT MY PENIS HAS BEEN STRICKEN WITH RIGORMORTIS

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Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that

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The late 1970s had British acts more edgy, but few could compete with the pop gumption of the Police. A laundr y list of what the band created is unnecessar y, but it should suffice to say that they made some pretty memorable music. Three men created incredible amounts of noise on a near-infinite set of instruments, while tipping their hats to the dominant styles of the era and making pop that equally leaves adult contemporar y, punk, emo and jam in debt.

-Herb Caen

S TA G I N G L I F E

PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

Student theatre group explores social issues through original works

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.W. Morrissette seemed a little concerned. On April 19, about ten minutes until show time for the first performance of INNER VOICES Social Issues Theatre’s production Breaking the Silence at the Illini Orange Snackbar, there were almost no audience members. The assortment of pamphlets promoting awareness and information was organized, the seating arranged The theme of the play was sexual assault, and the cast members were practicing in the warm air. Morrissette, assistant program coordinator of the theatre program, was afraid the show might have to be cancelled. Although this is an unusual practice for the INNER VOICE Social Issues Theatre, Morrissette thought that the sensitive topic might discourage people from attending.

However, Morrissette shouldn’t have worried. By the time the lights dimmed and the actors took to the makeshift stage of the former McDonald’s, the chairs were full and some of the booths occupied as well.

Jen Shatswell, an undergraduate in English, attended the performance and hopes to volunteer with the ensemble next year.

“I believe in the program, I think [it’s] really good …The more people who see it, the more people want to see it.”

Only around an hour long, Breaking the Silence is a powerful production put together of six short plays on a variety of topics regarding sexual assault with a discussion section afterward. Nothing is graphic, but all is moving, carefully

pointing out stereotypes and hypocrisies that surround victims, their partners and friends and the perpetrators. At the end of each piece, statistics or other facts are read by the cast or moderators and help show the audience the magnitude and scope that this issue has.

The most ghastly fact was read after Party! in which a girl is raped by an acquaintance. One in four college women will experience rape or attempted rape. Another disturbing statistic, one in six women and one in 33 men are raped, was read after the creative Two or Three Things, which deals with a woman healing after being raped as a child.What is so interesting about the play is that it is told through four people that all represent one woman, just different sides of her. Another excellent play was Drew and Bea, which emphasized the UIUC “Find People” database and how the tool can be misused. Shards emphasized the struggle of a man whose girlfriend had been raped. The play shows how he wants to help her but is not sure how.

In the end, Breaking the Silence effectively describes how everyone is affected by sexual assault, but that there is still hope from knowledge. The discussion afterward uses moderators who ask questions about the plays, characters’ actions, conflicts and audience responses in general.

According to its Web site, INNER VOICES: Social Issue Theatre Program began in 1995 as a way to tackle binge drinking on college campuses. It is sponsored by McKinley Health Center, the Counseling Center and the Department of Theatre and continues to create productions that focus on

It’s been nearly 20 years since Copeland and Summers had enough of creepy schoolteacher-turned pop star Sting, and it’s difficult to say whether Sting, in his most modern persona, is a shell of his former self or whether his original persona was unduly credited with success.

That aside, it only seems appropriate that after a tour that featured, among other musicians, a cellist and popular jazz bassist Christian McBride (who, rumor has it, repeatedly disrespected Sting’s music abilities), and bald-headed singer (and Eurythemics vocalist) Annie Lennox as an opener, the following tour, entitled “Broken Music,” would be more minimalist. Declaring that the “last time I played in this building was 1982,” near the peak of the Police’s domination of radio, Sting, with two guitarists and a drummer in tow, played Assembly Hall April 17.

Those who haven’t been to the arena recently will be impressed with the care given turning Bruce Weber’s home into a concert venue—the usually confusing acoustics of the gigantic hall were satisfyingly listenable, and extensive robotic lighting, heavy gray curtains and sensible interior decoration suited the aesthetics of a room filled with mostly older women (in groups) or couples. That said, the crowd was healthily familiar with the material, holding up cell phones, the lighter for the Nutrisweet generation, during ballad “Fields of Gold,” for which candles perhaps would have been more appropriate.

Kicking off quickly after opener Phantom Planet’s set with the ever-popular classic rock radio track “Message In A Bottle,” the band quickly dived into world-music Police b-sides, seguing “Voices Inside My Head” into “When The World Is Running Down,” and the distopian “Spirits In A Material World,” but never lost sight of his current adultlike footing. Sting avoided the touchy subject of politics during banter, only mentioning fox hunting (a non-issue for

controversial issues such as racism, body issues and substance abuse.The program tries to put out three shows a semester.

INNER VOICES is made up of three classes. Social Issues Theatre (Theatre 418) tackles all aspects of creating theatre.

Leading Post-Performance Dialog (Theatre 417) teaches students how to moderate discussion sections, specifically regarding social issues. Finally, INNER VOICES: Social Issues Theatre ensemble (Theatre 400M) is the pool from which the cast is taken who both perform Breaking the Silence and facilitate the discussions. Students can participate in the ensemble after taking one or both of the previous classes. Many of the scripts that are performed by the ensemble, including the current production, are created in Theatre 418.

Breaking the Silence performed at different areas on campus. Morrissette says that the ensemble does this in order to bring the show to the students. He thinks that the problem with having one single venue is that the audience has to be proactive to attend. He hopes that by doing performances at various places it will make it easier for people to come.

Katie Jacobsen, an actress and Theatre Studies major, hopes the show will,“bring awareness to the issue. I think it is also good for survivors if they do happen to see the show because not everyone talks about it, so they can get resources … any kind of help is good.”

Morrissette explained what Breaking the Silence and the ensemble strive to achieve.“We also wanted to reach a group of people that can see [sexual assault] as a societal problem.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness month so the whole month is set up to kind of raise that conflict.The other part is to put a face to the statistics. Rarely are we trying to solve and give solution … but we are here to raise that consciousness.” buzz More information on INNER VOICES can be found at their Web site www.innervoices.uiuc.edu or by contacting J.W. Morrissette at (217) 244-5919.

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HELL, EVERYTHING IS LEGAL IN MEXICO. IT’S THE AMERICAN WAY.

STING ROLLS INTO THE ASSEMBLY HALL

can stay up all night and eat anything.

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

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Americans) as a introduction to a song on the subject, but the songs say what couldn’t easily be said without risk to such a game (and largely older) audience, playing “Driven To Tears” off Zenyatta Mondatta, which Pearl Jam more-topically covered on the same stage during a tour stop two years prior. Another strange match between band and audience is the excellent “Bed’s Too Big Without You”: despite a stellar performance, the angst didn’t con-

nect with the audience.

Ignoring what’s been said to the contrary, Sting still plays excellent bass (but never needs to pay attention to the instrument) and his manners and couture were a fitting complement to his excellent performance.

Drummer Josh Freese (A Perfect Circle) found himself in the difficult situation of being called upon to recreate Steward Copeland playing, undoubtedly one of the best drummers to ever cut vinyl. In addition to exhibiting an excellent sense of Copeland’s sound and energy, in stage lights he seemingly resembled the man.

The two guitarists performed well in reworking the keyboard-rich solo material, but some of original Police guitarist Andy Summer’s more sublime atmospherics, an important ingredient in many of the originals, went by the wayside. That said, the hired hands were up to the material.

Guitarist Shane Fontayne surprisingly, and inappropriately, debuted a harmonica cage during a few songs. Both were given a few chances to take the lead, and while they performed serviceably in this role, the beauty of many of the original songs is the lack of solos: just as the Ramones were taking a stand against running up and down a fretboard, without soul, the Police were silently recording tracks in the same nature, focusing on richness of sound.

11

KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

Though the crowd clearly enjoyed solo material like an energetically-performed “If I Ever Lose My Faith In You,” during which it was possible to close your eyes and imagine it more vital than ever, the clear highlight was the vim given to the performance of “Synchroncity II,” the first track on the side B of the final Police album. The progressive sounds of the track, which protests the noise in modern society, combined with excellent work from the band, was all one could hope for.

After a “Roxanne” heavily aided by futuristic lighting and a double-encore, featuring as a highlight early punk-ish Police track “Next To You,” the house lights rose and the hall was filled with piped-in music: Coldplay’s 2002 hit “Clocks,” a jazzy, world-musicy slice of Brit-pop and a track strongly influenced

by Sting’s musical ambitions, existential crises and universal concerns, an unambiguous statement of Gordon Sumner’s imprint on musical culture. buzz

PHOTO BY CLAIRE NAPIER

Sting appeared with a three-piece backing band at Assembly Hall April 17, playing a mix of old Police material and new music. Declaring that “The last time I played this building was 1982,” Sting, as always, was equally effective on vocals while playing his now-iconoclastic bass parts.

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“There are more love songs than anything else.

Romeo & Juliet

If songs could make you do something

drama

W

-Frank Zappa

FLOOK: A COINCIDENCE OF THE SUBLIME KYLE GORMAN • MUSIC EDITOR

I

“

PHOTO BY EVE MATTHEWS

t just happens that everyone in our band is a virtuoso,” declares Sarah Allen, flautist for Flook, but somehow her statement isn’t a show of hubris for the young musician.

After all, the band’s name isn’t only a reference to their extremely talented dual flute players, both well-known in Irish traditional music circles. A fluke is something out of the ordinary, and, as Allen says, it’s a “happy coincidence” that there’d be so much talent in the energetic group.

Allen refers to John Joe Kelly, who plays bodhrán (a traditional Irish skin drum) and flautist Brian Finnegan. Both are receiving exclusive attention in the competitive world of Irish music with their virtuoustic abilities.

Kelly hails from Manchester, England, famously home of Joy Division and has been heaping praise for his technique on the bodhrán. The drum is played with a two-headed “beater,” which suggests, perhaps, the clomp of horses, but Kelly manages to create something broader, hinting at, alternately, either tabla, the Indian rosewood drums, or perhaps a deeply-reso-

nant dance track. Thanks to what Allen calls his “impeccable traditional credentials” and an open mind, Kelly has become, with apologies to the Clash, perhaps the only bodhrán player that matters; his technique on the instrument is so far above the rest.

“He doesn’t limit himself to jigs,” Allen remarks. “Everyone is copying him now.”

Finnegan was competing at a young age in traditional music competitions and according to Allen, winning them all but even at a young age, judges called him to develop his own sound, moving away from such giants of the genre as Matt Malloy, of such influential groups as Bothy Band, Planxty, and the group to which all traditional musics owe a debt, the Chieftains.

The suggestions must have struck a chord with Finnegan—both he and Allen exhibit distinct skills on flute. Finnegan is capable of interpolating difficult triple tonguings as accents, creating a sort of pastoral sibilance.

Allen’s technique is also far from the mainstream. In addition to doubling on accordion, she plays the alto flute, which exhibits a characteristically more mellow sound. With certain techniques, she is able to create, among other things, the distinctly non-traditional sound of upright bass.

“The way I play is quite different—I put a sharp attack on the front of the note, sharp like the string of a bass.”

Creating harmonies in the lower register is also part of her role. Traditional songs are usually dictated by ear, and only the melody is constant, their otherwisestrict forms allowing for plenty of variation for more creative musicians. Though she has quite a bit of formal training, she’s loath to explain the process of creating harmony.

“There are so many harmonies,” she says, “and it’s one of those things that makes things sound differently. I don’t know how I do it.”

Whatever the method, the sound of two so-talented leaders playing separate-butequal parts with guitar and percussion is of one of the best in the game.

But it’s difficult to ignore the cultural ramifications of three musicians from England excelling so at Irish music, considering what is perceived as a history of English aggression against Ireland.

Asked whether culture has ever been a boundary for the band, Sarah replies in the

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negative. “Blimey, it’s actually strange: we get a huge welcome and they love our music [in Ireland].” Flook has been recently incorporating folk music from all over Europe into their sets, and the open-mindedness of their fans only seems natural.

Whether it is a factor of changing times or music-widening minds, it’s a good sign for the future.

Unlike many other world musics, Irish music differs from the European sense of harmony and rhythm only slightly; thus, it’s both more accessible and more open to criticism. One obvious angle is the level of discipline it requires. In addition to the technical skill required, for example, by 9/8 slip-jigs and the occasional blistering tempo, Irish traditional musicians are expected to remember upwards of 200 melodies to participate in the “session,” the exchange and performance of Irish music. It’s not that the community is purposely insular but rather a result of the reality that an art steeped in tradition has as an entry price: the expectation of discipline.

Arts have reinvented themselves by looking beyond raw talent, but villianizing skill is self-defeating. In this dialectic between mind and body, Flook seems like a natural synthesis, a band whose abilities are chance, but as accomplished as could be hoped.

“The thing about [traditional music] is that anyone can play it at the end of the day.” It truly is a fluke to have so much talent together, though, and one worth recognizing.

The band is celebrating 10 years together and working on a new album, which strives to surpass their two previous lauded LPs, including 2002’s Rubai, which features such creative twists as wah-wah mandolin and trombone ostinatos infused into traditional song. While Irish music is often an exclusive club, making indie rock seem warm and accepting by comparison, Flook is an open-minded, cross-cultural model of a band, making music with that is lively and original. buzz

illiam Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is probably the greatest romantic tragedy in all of English literature. The current production of Romeo and Juliet by the Chicago Shakespeare Theater Company at Navy Pier is a tragedy of different sorts.With all the top-notched production details that four major corporate sponsors can generously offer and an awarding-winning visiting director, Mark Lamos, just two or three performances meet the caliber of greatness this play can offer.

Excessive crowd-pleasing humor, realistic frenetic, streetfighting scenes and Americanized verse-reading cloud an otherwise handsome looking attention to set and costume detail of the play’s authentic Renaissance period production design. Candice Donnelly’s costumes add so much color and flair to the period performances, and all these choices nicely collaborate with designer Michael Yeargan’s impressive geometrically box-shaped multipurpose set pieces.

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This timeless tale of two star-crossed teen lovers from warring Verona families stars Carman Lacivita and Julia Coffey, who effectively play young lovers but are clearly a decade too old for their parts.When playing the most sensual scenes, especially after the death of Juliet’s cousin Tybalt, the more mature actors fail to capture the simple innocence of the characters who are supposed to be no more than 14 and 16 respectively. This Romeo and Juliet are too wise in their physical expressions of their sensuality. Futhermore, Lacivita and Coffey rarely recite their lines revealing the beauty of much of Shakespeare’s rhymes and cadences of poetic lines. Coffey does reveal more effectively the passion of a young person in the fits of passion.

Lamos’ direction is most effective in key scenes where non-verbal behaviors dominate. Many of the street fight scenes have a vibrant energy. Robert Petkoff, who plays the mischievous Mercutio, adds comic spark to many of these action scenes. In other scenes between Juliet, Lady Capulet and the Nurse, Lamos also achieves

literature

BRANDT GLAN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I figure just a few words of intro-

duction will do. Nobody wants to read a book review that spends six paragraphs finding creative ways to rephrase the plot synopsis on the back cover. Max Berry’s Jennifer Government is a fast-paced story of a futuristic dystopia in which most of the western and eastern hemispheres have been absorbed into an American Federation, and the countries within this union operate on an ultra laissez-faire form of free trade with startling, humorous and horrific results.

My copy is a paperback edition and features a woman’s left eye, accentuated by a delicate layer of eyelines. The most intriguing detail on this cover, aside from the cold stare of the woman’s one eye is the barcode tattooed under her lower eyelash.

We find that this woman is Jennifer Government, a top agent with a healthy dose of sass and a sinister trigger finger. I would best describe Jennifer as Hester Prynne meets Lois Lane. She always seems to know jut how far to bend the rules and always makes her own rules when she can’t

flex them far enough. But this go-for-broke G-woman also has a softer side—she lives with her young daughter in Melbourne, Australia.The child, Kate, is enrolled in a grade school sponsored by Mattel.Virtually every institution we consider public (i.e. hospitals, schools, police stations) has been commandeered by a corporate entity.

I’ll admit that I made some pretty hasty generalizations about this book in the beginning. I read the synopsis, filtered out all the flamboyant adjectives book covers always use to con a reader and decided that this book was easy to decipher. The cover, with its less-than-cryptic title and semi-close-up view of Jennifer’s eye (complete with barcode), further led me to believe that this novel was a fairly straight-forward account of one female cop’s struggle to raise a daughter and catch criminals in this power-hungry universe where money talks and workers even assume the surname of their chosen companies.

The book was not this easy to unpack once I actually opened it. Jennifer Government is not the only well-rounded character in this novel. In fact, Barry spends the better part of the first 15 chapters throwing character after character at the reader. In the early stages of my reading, I kept telling friends, “This thing has more characters than a Robert Altman movie.” However, Barry introduces his menagerie of characters in an unobtrusive way. The names are a bit hard to catch onto at first, but Barry constructs a

a warm feminine closeness with natural touching and embracing that shows the love and caring qualities of these women as they interact.

Two Chicago veteran actors, who appeared in relatively minor, but crucial roles, delivered the two performances that most effectively met the demands of this play. Early interpreter of David Mamet’s great early works, Mike Nussbaum’s Friar Lawrence and the Steppenwolf company’s Rondi Reed’s Nurse were consistent in compassion and powerful in moments that required the most of their dramatic and comedic skills.

This disappointing, but attractive looking, version of Romeo and Juliet is presently at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater at Navy Pier, at 800 E. Grand Ave. on Chicago’s lakefront until June 19.

Shakespeare’s lovers take the stage at Chicago’s Navy Pier.

book review narrative which toggles from character to character with just enough spacing to keep us in suspense about what is happening with each particular subplot. And he doesn’t keep us waiting to the point that we forget each scenario. I suppose it is this fluidity that makes me appreciate the book for what it does. Barry deals with a total global vision; his settings range from Australia all the way around the world to the United States. However, because of Barry’s unique Americanized global market, each Australian city is almost identical to its American cousin. This creates a uniform world where Barry can manipulate his characters through many different geographical regions without jarring the reading from the thread of narration. This homogenous matrix makes for an interesting read on its own somewhat superficial level, but the landscape also aids the plot by allowing Barry to focus on his large cast of characters without having to re-establish his setting during each subplot.

This is Barry’s second novel, which follows his freshman effort Syrup. I will most likely give that a read as well. Barry has a distinctive voice that frantically preaches to all who will listen.“Imagine if we went just a bit further…” Fans of Brave New World and 1984 should not dismiss this novel as the coattails of one or two celebrated satirists. He’s used their ideas as a springboard, leaping toward the cosmos and commandeering their coats for parachutes as he arches from the page to our minds.

Pacific Northwest Wine Tasting Saturday April 30th, 2-6PM

Flook will play this upcoming Wednesday at Gregory Hall on campus as part of the Piper’s Hut Concert Series. The show begins at 8 p.m., and tickets are $15 (adults), $10 (with University ID) and $8 (children). The show is also sponsored by the University of Illinois’ Society of Celtic Cultures. s o u n d s

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play review

SYD SLOBODNYK • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

we'd all love one another.”

buzz weekly •

I SAW A WEREWOLF DRINKING A BLOODY MARY AT MURPHY’S PUB.

PHOTO COURTESY OF CHICAGO SHAKESPEARE THEATRE CO.

AP R . 28

Corkscrew Wine Emporium 203 North Vine Street Now accepting resumes! s o u n d s

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CATS DON’T LIKE CORN!

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WOULD THEY SEE A POOR BOY, NO SIREE.

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ar tist’s corner

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Thursday, T hursday, A pril 2 8

AlistairSlaughter

featuring members of

Blues Traveler with DJ Logic

Thursday, May 5

Alistair “Al-Iteration� Slaughter is a sophomore from Chicago in Psychology and Rhetoric. An ambitious fellow, Alistair manages to juggle his passion for poetry and hip-hop with his many high-level classes indicative of his strong academic interests. He’s a member of the UC Hip Hop Congress and DJ’s on WPGU 107.1 on Fridays. He recently put out an album, which can be found through www.uchiphop.org. There will also be a listening party for the album this Saturday upstairs at Espresso Royale in Urbana from 6-7. It’s free and all are welcome. The album will be on sale fo $5. If you’re looking for him, “Look for the hat!� says Alistair.

The non-album is a collection of songs I wrote between June ’04 and January ’05 and re-recorded over the past few months. The title of the non-album, The Other Side, came up when I was working on the cover art with Deborah Su, one of the artists that tagged up the “Hip Hop Rots Your Brain� billboards. I didn't want to call my CD an album because I'm not at that stage yet as an artist, and I

didn't want to call it a mixtape because everyone does that. (Plus it's not a tape!) So our initial artwork was a race/ethnicity question like on an SAT or some other survey or standardized test. The options were: The Black Album, The White Album, The Mix Tape, or The Other Side, which had a check in the box next to it. But eventually we scrapped that artwork but kept the title. There is no label—I funded the manufacturing/packaging out of my pocket. The album is down-to-earth, storybased hip-hop but very analytical—there's not many “typical� songs on there. Each track has a concept and intention, which I think is something that may intrigue some listeners and turn off others.

What sort of message do you wish to convey with your work? Are there any particular

Friday, M ay 6

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0RELUDE !RTEMIS 1UARTET PM FREE !RTEMIS 1UARTET PM

Alistair Slaughter aka al-iteration, jotting down ideas for rap songs, is studying Psychology and creative writing here at U of I.

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DAVID RUTHENBERG • STAFF WRITER

Can you tell us about your recent album?

Friday, April 29 John Popper Project

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708 S. Goodwin 18+ Urbana, IL 344-BAND 344-BAND

DARK N EW D AY

(featuring members of Creed & Sevendust)

Tickets for advance shows on sale now at: The Canopy Club, Family Pride, and Bacca Cigar, or call 1-800-514-ETIX. Or print tickets at home on JayTV.com!

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causes that inspire you?

I’m weary of messages in music, but I definitely think intention is good. I like to share my viewpoints through my music and let people know who I am, but I try to avoid being preachy. For example, my intention for the opening track “Hey!�, which I'm shooting a video for, is to make light of rapping and freestyling and the idea of a chorus in a typical rap song. There's no real “message� ... it's just some goofy stuff. For the whole CD I'm just trying to express what I feel or what I think about in an original way. Sometimes it's a phrase someone says to me or something I hear in lecture when I'm not sleeping—I try to always be open for inspiration.

The idea for “Shrink Rapâ€? came from sitting in my Theories of Psychotherapy class last summer and trying to give some sort of story to all the concepts we talk about, so I wrote from the perspective of a psychiatrist. I also hear a lot of poetry at slams or open mics or workshops, so that's where tracks like “Miss ClichĂŠâ€? and “Broken Poetryâ€? come in.

Who would influences?

you

consider

your

major

I've got tons of influences ... my greatest task is to make a cohesive verse or song by sewing together my different experiences and influences in different lines or ideas. I'd say as far as rap goes, definitely Nas, Jay-Z, MF Doom, Slick Rick, Slug, Qwel and some lesser known cats like Breezely Brewin' of the Juggaknots and Othello of LightHeaded. We could go further back to the originators of rap, but I feel like their influence funnels down through the emcees I’ve mentioned. As far as poetry, Patricia Smith and Saul Williams are two that definitely influenced me. Professor Michael Madonick for making the phrase “gatling gun of images� pop in my head every time I write. Locally, I’ve been extremely inspired by the work of playwright Jim Trapp and DJ/MC/president of UC Hip Hop liMbs, who contributed three beats to The Other Side.

If you could battle one person, alive or dead, who would it be?

Damn ... that’s a good one. I think I’d battle Malcolm X pre-Hajj. He’d come with some wild references and punchlines and tear me apart, but he’d break everything down for me afterwards and show me how to improve. s o u n d s

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the local sniff

seth fein

I am a Jewish Man! And the Lord said, "Let there be Ignorance!"

And it was so...

SETH FEIN • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

In the years leading up to this one, many

things have taken place in my life. I was born.

Then, I went to grade school and learned to live and die by baseball.

I went to middle school and learned that the only way I was ever going to get a girl was by making her laugh. I went to high school, and I pitched a no-hitter.At 15, I quit playing ball after smoking a joint and listening to “Welcome to the Machine� by Pink Floyd. I learned how to play drums and started a band. At 19, I got my heart torn from my ass by some witch and discovered that Jesus is the only way for me to truly comprehend happiness. Then I graduated college and fell in love with a much more caring and beautiful girl. Now I write. A lot.

Sure other things have happened, but of no real consequence in the face of those events.

However, of all the things that have happened to me since I was a zygote, one thing remains consistent: the dumbfounded looks I get when I tell people that I am both a Christian and a Jew. For my entire life, when I am telling people about myself, I naturally end up brushing on my upbringing.And that involves two very different yet totally compatible threads: Jewishness and Christianity.

I celebrated both Christmas and Hanukkah. I ate a regular diet of matzo ball soup, gefilte fish and brisket but also sought out Easter eggs with the best of them. I have danced the Hora (and man can I dance the Hora!) and at the same time, I have Seth Fein is from been baptized.

Urbana. He can make How is this possible, you the best pot of matzo ask? Well, allow me to settle ball soup south of I-80 this once and for all. That (aside from his mother). way, you can learn, evolve He can be reached at and stop questioning the sethfein@hotmail.com. extent to which this is true and how this is possible.

For starters—Jesus Christ himself—was a flippin' Jew! So, while that should finish up this column at around 200 words, most people don't see this as a credible justification as to how someone could possibly be both at the same time. So, allow me to continue.

All of the early Christian church, including that silly bastard Paul (used to be called Saul), was Jewish. It was not until Paul and all the rest of the early Jesus freaks went to lands like Corinth, Galatia and...surprise, surprise—Rome! that

gentiles caught wind of the Good News.

Let me be even more clear.And I know that this next phrase can be applied to many scenarios, but this is the only one where it actually holds weight.There are only two types of people in this world. Jews and Gentiles. That's it.

Need to determine which one you are? Easy. Is your mother Jewish? If she is, you're a Jew. If she's not, you’re a gentile. Simple as that.

But how, Seth? How is this possible? Allow me to elaborate.

Practicing Judaism is one thing. It means that you are still waiting for the Messiah. It means that Elijah has yet to “sit down and celebrate a Seder� dinner at Passover (I heard no reports of this happening on Sunday). It means that if you adhere to the Torah or the first five books of the Bible, then you are practicing Judaism.

Being Jewish is another thing. It requires only this: Having Jewish blood.

It's the same as being Chinese, or Russian or Nigerian. It's a bloodline. It's a heritage. But it is different than every nationality in one distinct way: It has its very own religion to go with it.

My parents converted to Christianity before they were married and before I was born, much to the chagrin of their folks. And while it had me confused for a while, I was raised singing “Jesus Loves Me Yes I Know� while my ENTIRE extended family danced a proverbial Hora around my ass. It took some years before I understood it, but now—it makes perfect sense.

Jewish blood is passed down matrilineally.As a result, my children will be gentiles, assuming I marry the woman I am with now. She's Italian and Greek. She's a gentile. But for my sister, it won't matter who she marries. She could conceive with a redneck from Texas or with a snake charmer from Pakistan. The result will be the same. She will have Jewish children.

I do not blame people for not understanding though. There was a time when not only did I not get it, but I didn't like it. The only fight I ever really had with my Grammy was over what I was. She told me plain and clear: “You are a Jew.� I told her that I didn't want to be one, and she said: “Too bad. It's who you are and who you will always be.�

And something about that is truly comforting.After all, I am one of “God's chosen people.�

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IF ONLY THEY’D LOOK CLOSER.

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“I’ll have a HALF DOUBLE-DECAFFEINATED HALF-CAF,

with a twist of lemon.�

-LA Story

THE INTERPRETER PAUL PRIKAZSKY • STAFF WRITER

When Alfred

The writing does falter during some abhorrently hokey speeches.

Hitchcock was denied access to the United Nations, the interiors were recreated on a Hollywood soundstage. Director Sydney Pollack is one man who did not take no for an answer. The United Nations is the focal point of The Interpreter, and the story is woven around this international forum. Taking the audience deep inside the building at once demystifies it and gives us a bird’s eye view of the vast political network that resides within. Though the premise is certainly original, the film stumbles through its lengthy running time and sparks more political debate than necessary.

Silvia Broome (Nicole Kidman) is an African-born U.N. interpreter who inadvertently overhears an assassination plot against a corrupt African leader who is scheduled to speak before the U.N. General Assembly. However, Broome is spotted in the sound booth by the very people discussing the nefarious plot. With her life in jeopardy, federal agent Tobin Kellar (Sean Penn) is dispatched to protect her. Unfortunately, Kellar suspects Broome may not be telling the whole truth. As the date of the speech inches closer, Broome must stay one step ahead

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COMPILED BY SARAH KROHN

! VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL OUR CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS

WITHOUT WHOM THIS EVENT WOULD NEVER HAVE COME TO FRUITION

Breanne Williams Mahomet, Ill.

of the people trying to silence her as Kellar struggles to understand what she is really hiding. Revealing any more of the plot would be saying too much. And I don’t want Sean Penn hunting me down.

Kidman and Penn are two of the finest actors in Hollywood. They display all the subtle nuances of emotion, allowing the audience to feel a genuine connection to these characters. Their scenes together are intimate portrayals of their dissenting philosophies of life. Broome believes in the sanctity of words and thorough communication above all. THE INTERPRETER • NICOLE KIDMAN Kellar looks beyond mere dialogue and reads people based on parts and corny in others. Pollack made the politically charged and wholly behavior and facial expressions.

Yin and Yang. Opposite sides of the engrossing Three Days of the Condor, which coin. Call it what you will, the differences served up taut thrills and a likable leading in Kidman’s and Penn’s characters were man. The Interpreter retains much of the well developed by the writers.To finally see kinetic energy of Pollack’s previous effort, two superbly written characters is very but it is undermined by the film’s obviousrefreshing. But no script is flawless, and the ly liberal bias.

Despite his outrageous political views, writing does falter during some abhorrently hokey speeches and one-liners that ulti- Penn is a talented actor. Kidman’s beauty is jaw-dropping (she’s a good actress, too). mately fall short.

If I’m not mistaken, a thriller should be The story was promising, and the setting thrilling. Granted, there are some nail-bit- was virginal. Pollack had all the ingrediing sequences and spine-tingling moments, ents to make a first-rate thriller, but somebut there is too much vapid space used for thing was lost in the translation. I would filler. The film should have been exciting wait until it comes out on video. That throughout, not melodramatic in some needs no interpretation.

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

8 • buzz weekly

The Interpreter

Erin Ruprecht Mahomet, Ill.

Ricardo Vance Champaign, Ill.

Mazel Tov! “Pretty suspenseful.�

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“A little slow in parts.�

“Pretty decent, ending was not what I expected.�

Loos enDs MOVIE NEWS BY JOHN LOOS

Due to the high anticipation of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, 30,000 Star Wars fans recently gathered in Indianapolis for “Celebration III,� a convention devoted to the beloved galactic franchise. Star Wars creator and tasteful Taurus George Lucas made his first Star Wars convention appearance since 1987 and was joined by fans from across the world, including Japan, Mexico and Germany. One major attraction was the Stormtrooper Olympics, a competition of those goofy guards of the evil Empire. I’m assuming the events included an incompetence pentathlon and seeing who could die the quickest and silliest death.

After all, you can’t spell stormtrooper without “oops.�

You’ve probably heard that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have gotten engaged. Affleck, a lovable Leo, has been dating the Alias star and amicable Aries since last year, even though the two first met on the set of instant classic and surely Criterion Collection-bound Daredevil. The two have taken the low road publicity-wise after the world was doused with news of Affleck’s fairy tale romance with girl-next-door-in-the-20room-mansion Jennifer Lopez, only appearing publicly once at the 2004 World Series in Boston. I wonder what Affleck’s presence will do for Garner’s career, because after all, you can’t spell Ben Affleck without snickering a little bit.

Uber-British thespian, pragmatic Pisces and Oscar winner Sir John Mills died recently at the age of 97. The actor, who has starred in films such as Ghandi, Great Expectations and Ryan’s Daughter (for which he won his Oscar), had a career spanning over 70 years that was still going even in the last few years.

Often cast in military roles, his boyish good looks gave him an Everyman appeal that enhanced his sentimental, restrained performances. In a recent survey of British film for Sky television, Mills was voted 8th in a list of all-time greatest British actors. Obviously, he will be remembered warmly.

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2 (PG–13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sat. 11:20 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (PG) (2 SCREENS) Fri. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sat. 11:20 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 11:35 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 2:00 3:10 4:20 5:20 7:00 7:30 9:15 10:00 LOT LIKE LOVE (PG–13) Fri. 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 11:50 Sat. 11:10 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:00 7:10 9:30 FEVER PITCH (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 12:15 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:15 5:30 7:45 10:00 GUESS WHO (PG–13) Fri. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sat. 11:05 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:20 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 1:20 4:00 7:00 9:20 HITCH (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 4:20 7:00 9:30 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:20 7:00 9:30 KING'S RANSOM (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 7:25 9:30 11:45 Sun. - Thu. 7:25 9:30 KUNG FU HUSTLE (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 3:15 5:25 7:40 9:50 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 3:15 5:25 7:40 9:50

MISS CONGEN. 2 (PG–13) Fri. & Sun. - Thu. 2:00 7:30 Sat. 11:20 2:00 7:30 ROBOTS (PG) Fri. & Sun. Thu. 1:20 3:25 5:25 Sat. 11:00 1:20 3:25 5:25 SAHARA (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50 12:20 Sun. - Thu. 1:15 4:10 7:15 9:50 SIN CITY (R) Fri. - Thu. 4:50 10:00 AMITYVILLE HORROR (R) Fri. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 11:50 Sat. 11:00 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 11:50 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:00 9:00 INTERPRETER (PG–13) Fri. - Thu. 1:15 4:05 7:05 10:00 PACIFIER (PG) Fri. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 9:40 12:00 Sat. 11:10 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 9:40 12:00 Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:05 5:10 7:20 9:40 UPSIDE OF ANGER (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 4:05 7:05 9:35 THÉRĂˆSE (PG) Fri. 1:05 3:10 5:15 7:20 9:25 11:30 Sat. 11:00 1:05 3:10 5:15 7:20 9:25 11:30 Sun. - Thu. 1:05 3:10 5:15 7:20 9:25 MILLIONS (PG) Fri. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sat. 11:15 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 11:30 Sun. - Wed. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 Midnight Thu. 1:30 4:10 7:10 9:20 Midnight

Showtimes for 4/29 thru 5/5

Kung Fu Hustle delivers big laughs and martial arts action.

dash of kung fu fighting, a pinch of Looney Toons, and serve with a popcorn and soda, and you have a dish called Kung Fu Hustle that is sure to satisfy a much needed comedy fix. Kung Fu Hustle delivers big laughs and martial arts action and is sure to please fans of both genres.

Kung Fu Hustle takes place in China during the 1930s. Gangs have all but taken over city life, and the most powerful of the gangs is the aptly named the Axe Gang. This band of misfits is defined by the axe they carry at their sides at all times. They are well connected, own the police and take whatever they want. The only way to avoid them is to live in an area too poor to merit their interests.

Such is the case for the residents of the “pig sty� slum. Unfortunately, a couple of troublemakers have come to town and stirred the attention of the Axe Gang. Just when it seems that members of the gang are about to demolish the town, several

THE UPSIDE OF ANGER JOHN LOOS • STAFF WRITER

Jgether oan Allen accomplishes something altouncanny in her role as a highly

Mike Binder creates two textured, complex characters.

embittered housewife whose husband apparently ditches her for his Swedish secretary in The Upside of Anger. Through the seething anger churning within her oftinebriated character, she slides perfectly from vicious to pitiful to hilarious to devastated, sometimes at a moment’s notice.

Allen has always been a reliable actress, but here she is a whirlwind. A bitch of the most endearing and delightful kind.

When Terry Wolfmeyer’s husband disappears from her life, she decides, quite pragmatically, that’s she entitled to be as infuriated as she wants to be and have as many vodka tonics as she wants. Her four headstrong daughters, Andy (Erika Christensen), Emily (Keri Russel), Hadley (Alicia Witt) and young Popeye (Evan Rachel Wood) watch their mother enter this very calculated depression, knowing there’s little they can do to help her. Their once-sweet mother is now broken. The only person who seems capable of breeching Terry’s icy, volatile shell is another hopeless alcoholic: next-door neighbor and ex-baseball player Denny Davies

M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

kung fu masters emerge from hiding and quickly dispose of the threat. Not surprising after their beatdown, the Axe Gang, bent on revenge, hire their own kung fu masters to destroy the slum. What ensues is a mixture of martial arts that ranges from the fighting styles seen in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to the bullet time effects of The Matrix. Ultimately, the people of the slum must rely on the awakening of KUNG FU HUSTLE • LEUNG SIU LUNG the hidden kung fu talents in a down-on-his-luck thief (Stephen Chow brings an amazing sense of Chow) who, legend has it, is “The One,â€? comedic timing and knowledge of slapstick humor that would even make Larry, and no, it’s not Neo. You may be thinking that this sounds Moe and Curly proud.

What more could you want from a more like an action movie than a comedy, and while the fight scenes are taken fairly movie? Kung Fu Hustle delivers action, seriously, the events leading up to them drama, comedy and even a little suspense. are anything but. The Axe Gang is just as There are a couple moments in this movie likely to break out into a dance routine as that can only be described with the phrase it is to beat the snot out of some unsus- “What the heck?� that keep it from getting pecting sap. Stephen Chow, who pro- a full four stars. Overall, though, this movie duced, directed, wrote and starred in this will make you laugh and then some, and it slapstick/action comedy does an amazing just goes to prove that slapstick is univerjob of mixing fight scenes with laugh- sally funny. To that extent, it’s always out-loud comedic moments. He’s no refreshing to see that though there may be stranger to this type of genre; he previous- cultural differences and different beliefs in ly released Shaolin Soccer, to which he pays the world, we all laugh at basically the homage in his opening scene. Stephen same thing.

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q+a Yoon Pak is an assistant professor in educational policy studies and a core faculty member in the Asian-American studies program. She’s been at the University for six years and hopes to continue her work and research.

How would you describe your work?

It's actually the ideal job for me. I get to teach and research in the history of education and Asian-American studies as well as advising PhD students.

What were you doing before you started working at the U of I?

I was in Seattle getting my PhD at the University of Washington—the real UW!

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Yoon Pa k

Why did you become interested in your study of the history of intercultural education?

I come from the perspective that we’ve always lived in a multicultural society and that there were educators in the past that sought to find ways to look at inclusionary methods for teaching diverse kids.

Even though the assimilation and Americanization model was the norm in the early 20th century, I had to believe that there were other models out there.And with the collaboration of a friend and colleague from graduate school, we've been able to locate school districts across the country—from NYC, Detroit, San Diego, among others—that employed variations of intercultural education long before the formal development of multicultural education in the 1960s.

Together, they represent another part of Terry’s life that she cannot control, another piece of her existence that is slipping through her fingers. The youngest, Popeye, while somewhat blended with her sisters, provides the most mature voice of the film through her light narration.

Mike Binder, who acted with Allen in the 2000 film The Contender, creates two textured, comTHE UPSIDE OF ANGER • KEVIN COSTNER & JOAN ALLEN plex, wounded characters and gives them a situation (played with great temperament and con- that has no easy exits or answers. Terry’s fidence by Kevin Costner). Slowly the two anger just doesn’t magically disappear.There tread through their own personal disap- isn’t a scene in which Terry takes a deep pointments toward a mutual, symbiotic, yet breath, forgives her lost husband and very fragile form of romance.As Terry flails remembers the joys of life after picking in an ocean of anger, hate, resentment and some wildflowers. There isn’t a scene in viciousness, the cool-headed, beer-swilling which she and Denny confess they’re Denny becomes her buoy. madly in love (they’re not, really), meanTerry’s three oldest daughters, while ing that gaping void in her life is officialportrayed by an undeniable wealth of talent, ly closed. At the beginning, Terry is a terare mostly interchangeable figures as each of ribly hurt woman, internally shattered, them finds ways to subvert her mother’s and Denny is a deadbeat. At the end, wishes. When Hadley gets pregnant and they’re only slightly improved. Smartly, then gets engaged, Terry is the last to find neither the characters nor the screenplay out (which leads to a hilarious toasting have the perfect cure to Terry’s anger, but scene when Terry meets her future son-in- they do have a few unexpected secrets.We law’s parents). Andy forsakes college to get know from the beginning why Terry is a job at the radio station Denny has a talk angry but in one silent bedroom scene, show at and then ends up dating her sleezy, when she quietly scoots her backside back much older boss, Shep (Mike Binder, the into Denny, in that moment we see exactwriter and director). And Emily desperate- ly why these characters need each other. ly wants to be a ballet dancer, even though Terry sees absolutely no practicality in it.

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buzz weekly •

RIFRAF, STREET RAT - I DON’T BUY THAT.

What do you find most enjoyable about your work at the University?

My department, the colleagues.

graduate

students, my

What do you find most challenging?

Time management and having to multitask. Other than that, it is the lack of physical terrain. We need mountains. Ground squirrels are cool but so are gooey ducks.

When you aren't working, what do you like to do?

What I would like to do is get more sleep, but I'm having fun hanging out with my 16-month-old daughter and seeing how the world makes sense through her eyes.

PHOTO • AUSTIN HAPPEL

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THE INTERESTING WORD USEMENTS I STRUCTURE.

SONY PICTURE CLASSICS

22 • b u z z w e e k l y

What do you see yourself doing in the future?

Doing what I still do but doing it better and in new and different ways.

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Yoon Pak in her office at the Education building.

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If you lie, your children will too. If you spend all your money on yourselves

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and tithe no portion of it for charities, colleges, churches, synagogues, and

generation will pass on the p o i s o n adults still have not had the courage to snuff out.

gender jokes, another

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Fresh flicks

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR 2 STARS

TOCCARA CASTLEMAN • STAFF WRITER

Ryan Reynolds & Melissa George The Amityville Horror doesn’t exactly break any new ground, but it is less laughable and maintains a stronger, more consistent tone of creeping terror than the recent Hide and Seek or The Ring Two. Like the poor family that chooses to live in a mansion with evil in its walls, this unnecessary remake of The Amityville Horror simply revisits something that was better left dead. (Matt Pais)

T

he University of Illinois attempts to foster a diverse student body, leading to an opportunity to become exposed to a variety of cultures. However, some students still ask “if we’re so diverse then why are all the black kids still sitting together at the Union lunch tables, while the Asian, Latino and white students do the same?� Is racial self-separation an issue on the University of Illinois’ campus? “To answer this question, I would have to ask, ‘Compared to what? Compared to the early seventies when I was in school?’ No, the campus is not segregated,� said Nathaniel Banks, director of the African American Cultural Center. “Segregation implies physical separation. Although that could have been easily argued in the fifties and sixties, I don’t

PHOTO • DAVID SOLANA

BEAUTY SHOP 2.5 stars

believe that this is the case now. Is the campus fully integrated? it’s just the people I have always hung out with.�

Probably not. For the most part students find ways to self stratify.�

In the Final Enrollment report for the Fall Semester of 2004 Some students agree provided in August 2005 by with Banks that there is the Office of Admission and a separation on campus, Records, the total underwhile others disagree. graduate student enrollment The University could provide more Some have never thought was 29,294. programs and activities. But You about the issue in depth.

Of the total population 72 “I honestly have are American Indian or Alaskan can’t force someone to like never thought about it Native; 1,936 African American someone for the sake of diversity. before I took a social or Black; 3,259 Asian; 1,739 -Douglas Seok, junior in LAS issues theater course. I Hispanic or Latino and 19,644 think it may be an issue, White. At the time the statistics but I’ve never considwhere calculated, international ered it a problem for student enrollment had errors myself,� said Sarah Miller, junior in LAS. that are still in the process of being corrected.

Students may not have thought about the issue of segregation As a result of this skewed enrollment there are often instances full on because of movements such as Project 500 that occurred where some classes may contain only a few minorities, which may in 1965. Following the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther challenge the overall experience for these students.

King Jr., campus leaders such as Clarence Shelly took “I never felt like a minority until I came to this campus,� said an active role in fighting for the integration of the Genevieve Tenoso, senior in LAS. “I’ve felt really objectified, University and as a result, 500 minority stu- sometimes I wish I didn’t have to be full on Indian spokesperson. dents were admitted.

Whenever anyone has any kind of conversation in class about The University offers programs such as Native people, everyone turns and looks at you.� the Global Crossroads Learning Community Other students also recognize the objectification of minority and the Principal Scholars award.The Principal students and also the lack of diversity in the faculty members.

Scholar’s award tracks talented minority students “Within the classroom African American students have a during their high school years and provides schol- huge burden when studying the slave trade and civil rights. arships and other forms of assistance in applying for These students are expected to have every answer.You can see the University. the way that white kids crane their necks to look at the black “The University itself is a melting pot. I students when something dealing with race comes up,� said think that it’s definitely an individual Micah Thomas, senior in LAS. choice of what they’re going to do Facilities such as the African American Cultural Center, La with the experience. The University Casa and the Native American House exist to offer support in could provide more programs and order to meet the concerns and needs of minority students on activities, but that’s it. You can’t force campus who may feel exclusion in other settings.These facilities someone to like someone for the sake also exist for students of the dominant population to serve as an of diversity,� said Douglas Seok, junior educational tool and opportunity to indulge in other cultures. in LAS. “I think that students can do more than come in to see the stuff While some students claim to have a posted on the wall [in the Native House]. They don’t even come diverse group of friends, others admit they still and talk to us,� said Geronimo Caldwell, sophomore in LAS. naturally gravitated toward people of their same Recognizably the University does provide an array of events ethnic background. and opportunities that promote ethnic diversity, yet as Seok “As much as I hate to admit it, yes [I do tend to gravitate maintains, indulgence or appreciation of activities will always be towards people of my similar ethnicity],� Miller said. “I always an individual choice. grew up with white kids, hung out with white kids, dated “I’m interested in people. I like giving people a chance to white kids, etc.When I first got to the University of Illinois I find out who they are,� Seok said. “I think that we’re losing lived in Newman Hall.That is a small private Catholic dorm, out on the quality of a person because we’re basing our friendwhich was also populated with almost all white kids. For me, ships on ethnicities.� buzz

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opening this weekend

Marian Wright Edelman • founder and President of the Children's Defense Fund

Is racial separation an issue at UIUC?

23

ily and that rooting for the team can be comfor ting even when they lose. Fallon and Barr ymore make a charming, romantic duo with offbeat chemistr y. It’s a fitting tribute to love and baseball. (Matt Pais)

civic causes, your children won't either. And if parents snicker at racial and

SELF-IMPOSED RACIAL BOUNDARIES

buzz weekly •

I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD MATE FOR LIFE, LIKE PIGEONS, OR CATHOLICS.

Queen Latifah & Alicia Silverstone Beauty Shop is mostly a “woman’s film� that even appeals to a youthful male audience, with lots of sexy female eye candy that never misses the director’s gaze. It has undeniable crowdpleasing appeal for those who like urban comedy with a less vulgar approach. You also won’t be offended by any harsh political put-downs of past civil rights leaders, like the first Barbershop film.

(Syd Slobodnik) FEVER PITCH 3 stars Drew Barr ymore & Jimmy Fallon Fever Pitch understands that the people who have season tickets near you can feel like a fam-

THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY Martin Freeman & Mos Def Based on the cult mega-classic radio series/TV series/book by the late Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker’s Guide focuses on the interstellar misadventures of Arthur Dent (Freeman), who narrowly escapes the destruction of the earth with the help of his extraterrestrial neighbor Ford Prefect (Mos Def). Along their journey they cross paths with a depressed robot (voiced by Alan Rickman), the two-headed president of the galaxy (Sam Rockwell) and the incredibly helpful guidebook of the title. The original series and novel are absolutely, drop-dead hilarious, so hopefully the film follows suit.

(Andrew Vecelas) XXX: STATE OF THE UNION Ice Cube & Samuel L. Jackson Ice Cube, the new master of the B-movies (he’s pulled off the ultimate three-peat by starring in Anaconda, Torque and Ghosts of Mars) stars as Darius Stone, an ex-con drafted by an ultra-secret spy agency to stop a terrorist plot to overthrow the government.

Willem Dafoe pops in as, what else, the evil villain. Vin Diesel opted out of the sequel, presumably because his star shot too high after A Man Apart and The Chronicles of Riddick. (Andrew Vecelas)

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AP R . 28

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M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

AP R . 28

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M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

first things first

buzz weekly •

ALLLL FOR THE BUZZ. BECAUSE WE LIVE FOR BUZZ.

5

coulter

Shop with Coulter

Then go home, cry and drink a bottle of vodka in a closet MICHAEL COULTER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

I went shopping last week.

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Yeah, I know, that’s a pretty dynamic way to start a column, but this was different because it wasn’t the sort of shopping I normally do.There were none of the regular stops at the grocery, the liquor store or any place that offers lap dances.

Instead, I made one of my four-times-ayear, half-hearted, pathetic attempts to enhance my wardrobe.

It’s not especially a moment of glory for someone like me, as I suck at it terribly. One of my friends once advocated wearing identical jumpsuits each day of the week, but he’s a fancy-assed lawyer now, so I assume he’s backed off that idea. Being a not so fancy idiot, I haven’t, even though it’s not the jumpsuit I prefer. Still, I like to keep it pretty consistent.

I have a picture of myself at the age of four. My build is pretty much the same. My hair style, though not shaved as it is now, is a painfully short kind of flat top. I have on a ratty-assed pair of pants and a wrinkled, button down shirt that is, not surprisingly, untucked. I look pretty much the same way I look these days, except I’m not holding a cocktail and a cigarette. Also, my free hand isn’t absent mindedly touching my genitals, but otherwise, you can tell it’s me.

This might seem like a fairly easy look to replicate for an entire life, but such a thing can be deceiving. Everything now is just a little too hip for a fella like me. Last spring, I found some shorts I liked, so I bought four pair that were exactly the same.

They’re still in good shape, but I’m always a little self conscious that people will assume I’m wearing the same pair day after day. My first plan was to add some variety to the shorts collection.

I found several pair that would have been just fine ‌ if I were an archeologist, a skateboarder or anyone who needs to carry five wallets and nine sets of keys. Holy crap, what’s with all the freaking pockets on shorts these days? What the hell do I really need them for? The right front pocket is for change, and the back right pocket is for my wallet. That’s it. That’s all the pockets I require. Sure, I like to have the pockets on the left side, but I don’t use them for dick.

Since two pockets are all I really need, having a couple of spare pockets on each of my legs seems a bit overkill. Sure, I could start carrying scissors, batteries and sandwiches around with me all the time so the pockets didn’t feel like a waste, but I’d

much prefer to just buy a regular pair of freaking pants.

Even if I find a pair that I sort of like, then I have to try them on. I have no idea why this is such torture, but it’s one of the most annoying things I can imagine.

Honestly, I would rather pay for the pants, take them home, realize they don’t fit, and then take them back; then I would to try them on at the store.Take off your shoes and pants, put on the ill-fitting new pants, put old pants and shoes back on, get another pair of pants to try on, repeat until something finally fits or Michael Coulter until you give up, go home is a videographto cry and drink a bottle of er, comedian vodka in your closet. and can be The signs they have post- heard on WPGU ed don’t help much either, 107.1 Thursdays “Dressing rooms may be at 5 with Ricker monitored to prevent workin’ it. shoplifting.� That doesn’t conjure up a comforting feeling.The sign might as well read, “There is likely a creepy simpleton staring at a bank of security cameras and masturbating while you try on your new clothes.�

These days, I don’t even bother with the dressing rooms to try on shirts. I just stand in the middle of an aisle with a miserable look on my face until I come across a shirt that I don’t hate. This usually takes quite a while. I can stare at the racks for hours. I can picture other people wearing these shirts, famous people, friends, anyone but myself. I mean, piss, I’m not a billboard, and I try to only wear shirts that advertise rock bands or baseball teams. Even if my name were actually Tommy, I doubt I’d want it emblazoned across my chest.

Then there all those cool patterns. I generally get about as daring as plaid, but anything more seems a little busy, and let’s be honest, vertical stripes and a beer gut don’t really allow me to leave the house with the confidence I require.The lines, they seem to get all wavy.

Screw anyone who says clothes shopping is fun. Book shopping is fun. Bike shopping is fun. Hell, I can even shop for furniture.

The clothes deal, not so much. I miss those old days when mom would bring me home a pair of pants and that would be about it. If they were big, that was fine. I would grow into them. At this point of my life, it’s sort of a slippery slope to buy clothes I’ll grow into. I should probably re-explore that jumpsuit idea.

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buzz weekly

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AP R . 28

IT’S DAMN FUNNY. AND ABSTRACT, EVEN.

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Bad habits are like A COMFORTABLE BED,

y o u r e v e r y d a y n e w s but hell, we’re weekly

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wEiRd

The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expen $ ive.

-Anon

John Sladek • Author

chuck shepherd

DRIVE THRU REVIEWS C O N T I N U E D F RO M PA G E

LEAD STORY While Congress and the sports world are busy condemning the use of steroids as “cheating,” golfer Tiger Woods and other athletes have already artificially enhanced their natural abilities with impunity through Lasik eye surgery (improving vision to 20/15 or 20/10). More ominously, according to a Wired magazine story in March, the time will soon come when perfectly healthy baseball pitchers and other athletes choose so-called “Tommy John surgery” (until now performed only to repair ruptured arm ligaments), which can make an elbow even stronger than it naturally was, allowing pitchers to achieve higher velocity than ever. Other predicted enhancements include the removal, reengineering, and re-insertion of leg, arm and shoulder muscle cells to add strength.

C A N ’ T P O S S I B LY B E T R U E — The North Dakota legislature voted in April to ease licensing for carrying concealed

weapons by removing the shooting test (to hit a miniature human silhouette at 21 feet), but that was over the objection of licensee Carey McWilliams, 31, who told an Associated Press reporter in March, “You’ve got to have standards.” McWilliams, who hit the target 10 out of 10 in his most recent test, is legally blind, able to distinguish only shades of light (thus apparently giving new meaning to “concealed weapon” when he looks for his).

— Veteran criminal George Kaminski, 53, complained in March to a Sharon (Pa.) Herald reporter about his most recent prison assignment, to a minimum-security facility in Mercer, Pa., because the grounds were short on clover.

Kaminski has collected 72,927 four-leaf clovers in the last 10 years, entirely on the grounds of various prisons, but he is alarmed that an Alaskan man now claims to have 76,000 and has applied to the Guinness Book for recognition.

“The (Alaskan) guy’s got the whole world,” said Kaminski,“(but) I have two or three acres.”

Money is power.

Use some for good.

• When you walk into a really nice restaurant or upgrade your computer, you feel the rush of the power of money.

— The Netherlands Healthcare Inspectorate issued a report in March accusing some dermatologists at the Erasmus Medical Center in Rotterdam of concealing the local outbreak of a sexually transmitted disease in 2003 just so they could publish a first-in-time article about it in the Journal of Clinical Infectious Diseases later that year. Infections of lymphogranuloma venereum went from 14 at the time of initial outbreak to more than 100 now. (The EMC doctors acknowledged not reporting the initial outbreak, but said the disease was not at that time on the list of diseases required to be reported).

not criminally charged. (An officer asked him, “When you threw the knife, what did you expect the dog to do?”)

— Burglars who fall asleep on the job is a retired News of the Weird category, but Steven Jakaitis, 42, was arrested in Quincy, Mass., in March outside a CVS pharmacy, where police said he fell asleep while preparing to rob the place. His car was idling; a stocking was on his head and a pistol in his pocket; and the piece of paper beside him read,“I have a Gun DO NOT Press any Alarms or let Custermors (sic) know Empty the All (sic) the register.”

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— A 24-year-old woman was hospitalized in April in Nassau County, N.Y., after her boyfriend, tossing sticks to his dog, decided to toss his knife, instead, but the knife’s handle loop caught on a finger when he flung it, and it snapped back, lodging in the woman’s neck.

She corroborated the story, and the man was

As many as 10 percent of Japanese youths may be living in “epic sulks” as hermits (“hikikomori”), according to a March Taipei Times dispatch from Tokyo, thus representing no improvement in the already alarming problem that was described in a News of the Weird report in 2000. Many of the hikikomori, in fact, still live in their parents’ homes and simply never leave their bedrooms. Among the speculation as to cause: school bullying, academic pressure, poor social skills (after obsessively whiling away hours at video games), unaccessible father figures, and an education system that suppresses youths’ sense of adventure.

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INEXPLICABLE — John W. Hill of High View, W.Va., was arrested near St. Louis in March after sheriff ’s deputies had stopped to investigate why he was parked alongside I-70. He was shirtless, wearing an Indian vest, cargo pants and combat boots, had several loaded pistols, an assault rifle, a two-shot Derringer, two long rifles, a serious knife, 400 rounds of ammo and various drugs.

He said only that he was headed to South Dakota Indian country to deliver supplies and a sack full of Bibles to children, and that he was armed because the West is “dangerous.” He was charged with possessing a loaded weapon while intoxicated.

— A British farm couple recently handed officials of the East Lindsey District Council a surveillance video of an elderly couple that they said have been driving by from time to time and leaving pairs of new shoes (with price tags still affixed) on their property, with no explanation.The farmers, Jason and Claire Foster, said more than 30 pairs have been dropped off since December, and the council’s investigation was continuing, according to a March BBC News report.

COPYRIGHT 2004 Chuck Shepherd Distributed by Universal Press Syndicate

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GUESS WHO 1.5 STARS

to do with money that you haven’t earned, these boys show that the greatest riches they have are each other. (Matt Pais)

Ashton Kutcher & Bernie Mac Hollywood is in dire need of fresh ideas. Reversing race roles in a remake just doesn’t work. Guess Who should have been called Meet the Black Parents. For its unoriginality, stay at home and play Guess Who. And I mean the game. (Paul Prikazsky) HIDE AND SEEK 1.5 STARS Robert DeNiro & Dakota Fanning Hide and Seek relies on a climactic twist to deliver its psychological payoff, but here the major revelation deprives the film of any intellectual insight, not to mention its already-weak grasp on reality. As far as horror movies go, Hide and Seek is pure child’s play. (Matt Pais) HITCH 2.5 STARS Will Smith and Eva Mendes Hitch is high-concept Hollywood fluff, yet, for the most part, it works because of its focus on chivalry and love and not sex and debauchery. There’s also a perfect niche for Hitch as a movie that, like an issue of Cosmo, can both entertain and court women, while teaching guys a few things about falling in love. (Matt Pais) HOTEL RWANDA 2.5 stars Don Cheadle & Sophie Okonedo A high-profile starring role has been a long time coming for Don Cheadle, and it’s a pleasure to see the charismatic character actor drive Hotel Rwanda with patience and quiet strength. Too bad Terry George’s highly dramatized retelling of the 1994 political crisis that left one million people dead never achieves the chaotic horror of the real-life tragedy. (Matt Pais)

MISS CONGENIALITY 2 2 STARS Sandra Bullock & William Shatner Whether we asked for it or not, Sandra Bullock is back in Miss Congeniality 2 to try and strain a few more laughs from an already used idea. While Miss Congeniality was fresh and original, its sequel falls flat on its face lacking any of the comedy that made the first a surprise hit. (Brian Nichols) THE PACIFIER 1 STAR

Vin Diesel & Lauren Graham Maybe if Diesel wanted to make one for the kids he just had to accept that his tough guy image would be toned down a notch. Maybe he didn't mind. With the money, women and political office his predecessors have pulled in, he probably couldn't wait for someone to walk in his agent’s office offering a multi-milliondollar Disney flick. The kids get a kick out of this stuff, but most of the sixth-grade-educated audience is lucky to get through these scenes without eating their own arms off. (Andrew Crewell) THE RING TWO 1 STAR

Naomi Watts & Sissy Spacek Troubling for all the wrong reasons, The Ring Two never makes a strong case for its own existence. The biggest letdown about the movie is that it fails to significantly advance the story, something a reporter like Rachel should understand is crucial in a follow-up effort. Like the video that provides the premise, it’s a wonder that anyone would still be interested in watching something of this nature. It might not kill you, but don’t take the chance. (Matt Pais)

MAN OF THE HOUSE

ROBOTS 2 STARS

1.5 stars Tommy Lee Jones & Cedric the Entertainer Only a true pessimist could have predicted that, 12 years after accepting an Oscar for his work in The Fugitive, Tommy Lee Jones would be sticking his hand up the south end of a cow in the lowbrow fish-out-ofwater comedy Man of the House. For some reason, it took three writers to put together this nonsense, and not one succeeded in making it funny. (Matt Pais)

Ewan MacGregor & Robin Williams Most of Robots is surprisingly dull and desperate to entertain, including several jokes that don’t even make sense in a robot society. (Seriously, metal detectors just aren’t practical.) The transitions are choppy, an extended farting sequence is downright despicable, and for all its attempts to look like an animated-film upgrade, structurally, Robots never really tries to rage against the machine. (Matt Pais)

MILLION DOLLAR BABY 3 STARS

SAHARA

Clint Eastwood & Hilary Swank It does take an unexpectedly dark twist toward the end that should knock most viewers back a few steps. Yet, Million Dollar Baby never swings hard enough to send you reeling. It’s enough to win a judge’s decision, but it’s no knockout. (Matt Pais)

1 star Matthew McConaughey & Penelope Cruz There is certainly an unfitting clash of action and comedy in Sahara. The characters are laughed at, not with, and they deserve to be. Action-comedies do not need to give up on characters and story to provide action and comedy. (David Just)

MILLIONS

SIN CITY 3.5 STARS

Lewis McGibbon & Alex Etal There’s a tenderness here that belongs to Etel and McGibbon, two fine young actors who not only embody their own parts but play off one another so well that they work marvelously as brothers. The movie is undeniably theirs, two performers whose total age is under 20 but possess an innate honesty beyond their years. In a movie concentrating on what

Bruce Willis & Mickey Rourke Sinfully sexy and deliciously entertaining, Sin City is pumped with more testosterone and male fantasies than a Las Vegas bachelor party. If you can get past its boorish, hyper-macho approach to the sexes, director Robert Rodriguez will plunge you deep into a seedy, intoxicating world of sleaze, deception and revenge. (Matt Pais)

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a s t r o l o g y

23

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

A huge supply of frozen natural gas lies beneath the oceans.

Researchers have just begun to develop the technology to mine it.

When they succeed, civilization will gain access to more energy than is available from all the world’s oil reserves. This tantalizing prospect reminds me of your situation, Aries. You’re sitting on a reserve of metaphorical fuel that could power your efforts for quite some time. Now all you have to do is figure out a way to get at it.

(Thanks to Stephen Leahy of Wired News for the info on the frozen natural gas.)

TAU RU S

(April 20-May 20)

Even if you’re not an artist, you’re a creator. You’re constantly hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do. It’s to this part of you—the restless, inventive spirit—that I address the following: It’s a perfect time for you to cultivate increased respect and reverence for your creativity.

Tap in to the dormant potential of your amazing imagination. Feel confident about your ability to generate novelty. Realize how much power you have to change anything you want to change. Here’s your inspirational motto, courtesy of sculptor Constantin Brancusi: “Create like God, command like a king, work like a slave.”

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

A lot of antifreeze tastes sweet even though it’s toxic. That’s a big problem for dogs and children, who sometimes come upon spilled or open containers of antifreeze and drink it. New Mexico is one of the first places in the world to pass a law making it mandatory for antifreeze to be bitter-tasting, thus discouraging innocents from imbibing it. This should serve as a metaphor for you in the coming week, Gemini. Your inner child or inner pet may be drawn to ingesting experiences that are delectable but noxious. Have your inner adult take steps to ensure this won’t happen.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

I won’t protest if you resort to some outrageous showmanship to boost your cause, Cancerian. I won’t judge you harshly if you try to walk the fine line between creative storytelling and over-the-top BS. Just make sure that you’re always motivated more by fun and idealism than by self-aggrandizement. It’s time to use all your tricks and call on all the favors you’re owed as you sell your self without selling your soul.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

You’ve been given a prophetic glimpse of the great victory that’s possible. You’re very close to neutralizing an old bugaboo and making sure that the past will no longer hold you back. Now comes the hardest part: Will you be able to sustain your concentration until the triumphs are actually accomplished? Or will you be lulled into lazy complacency by the sense of security that your partial breakthroughs have provided? Personally, I believe you will summon the dogged ingenuity necessary to finish the job; you will turn almost into completely.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

If I were going to write a fairy tale about the current state of your life, I would say that your stolen treasure is locked away in a heart-shaped metal box at the top of a glass mountain. You have every right to steal it back, but you haven’t been able to get to it. The surface of the mountain is too slippery for you to climb. In the next chapter of the fairy tale, you will encounter an elf or dwarf or witch who has a pair of special shoes with suction cups that could allow you to scale the peak. But you will have to give something in return for those shoes.

And here’s the tricky part: The elf or dwarf or witch may not tell you exactly what he or she wants; you might have to guess.

a p r

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4

has led to economic turmoil in both areas. I mention this, Libra, because I think it resembles a feeling you’re currently harboring.

A part of you is longing for the bad old days when a now-defunct obstacle was a fixture in your life. You’re romanticizing the protection that the obstacle offered and forgetting how oppressive and limiting it was. It’s OK to entertain the fantasy of restoring the wall—in fact, I recommend that you do—but don’t you dare actually restore it.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

For a limited time only, everything will be pretty much the reverse of what it usually is. Do you have an unlucky number? In the coming week, that number will be a sign that good fortune is nearby. Do you have qualities that you regard as weak or undeveloped? You can now make them work to your advantage. What are the things you’re afraid of? Deal frankly with them and you will stimulate a big boost in your courage. Are you weary of worrying about your enemies? They are about to become great teachers, maybe even helpers.

S AG I T TA R I U S

(Nov. 22-Dec.21)

You’re entering into the thick of the problem-solving phase of your astrological cycle, Sagittarius. Your dilemmas are probably heating up, becoming more frustrating and time-consuming. What’s more important to know, however, is that you now have a heightened power to fix those dilemmas. In fact, I predict that soon after reading this horoscope, you’ll find you have access to unprecedented levels of wild but disciplined determination. As you go about your work, keep in mind Buckminster Fuller’s standard for measuring his effectiveness: “When I am working on a problem,” he said, “I never think about beauty. I think only of how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.”

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You may have trophies, merit badges, and plaques to commemorate your sexual accomplishments, Capricorn. You may have a PhD in tantra and letters from past lovers testifying to your excellence as an erotic partner. Nevertheless, I believe you have more to learn. There are frontiers you have not yet explored. And this is the perfect time for you to push to the next level. Open your mind and heart to the possibility that you’re ready to upgrade the way you stir up emotionenriching, soul-expanding bliss.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I was looking for a house to rent. A real estate manager gave me a tour of various houses that were available. At one place the occupants weren’t home, but the manager had the key to the door and permission to enter. As she led me around, we came upon the master bedroom. A huge German shepherd was on the bed. I reflexively withdrew, afraid the dog would attack the strangers in its house. But it didn’t bark, pounce, or even growl. On the contrary, it shivered with fear. Its protective instincts seemed paralyzed. I think the dog’s behavior was an apt metaphor for the current state of your own inner guardian, Aquarius—you know, the fierce part of your psyche that defends your interests. It’s unnaturally timid and hesitant, and is thus not primed to do its job properly. Do whatever it takes to cure it of its malaise.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

After rejecting proposals from many directors, Bob Dylan has finally authorized Oscar-nominated Todd Haynes to make a film about his life. Seven different actors will portray Dylan, including a black woman. “I am setting out to explode the idea that anybody can be depicted in a single self,” Haynes told The Sunday Times. You already explode that idea every week of your life, Pisces, and you will be exploding it with even greater force and style in the coming days.

I encourage you to be proud of your own riotous multiplicity. It’s something to be celebrated, not to be shy about. Why not fantasize about the seven actors and actresses you’d choose to play you in the movie about your life?

Polls reveal that many Germans wish they could return to the days when the Berlin Wall was intact. They complain that dismantling the barriers between the eastern and western portions of the country

Homework: It’s easy to see fanaticism, rigidity, and intolerance in other people, but harder to acknowledge them in yourself. Do you

LIBRA

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

jonesin crossword puzzle Across 1 Guess? product 6 “Assuming that that’s true...”

10 Workout target 13 Radiant 14 Sand castle-making need 15 Victoria’s Secret’s IPEX, e.g.

16 Does something 19 Cleveland cager 20 Designer Wang 21 Dark shade 23 Dr. who turned 40 in 2005 25 CCXI times V 27 Signature of a Southern general 28 Subject of a 2005 MLB inquiry, slangily 30 ___ Cruces, N. Mex. 32 Was comfortable 35 Spots in high school 36 Characteristic quality 38 The Get Up Kids’ genre 39 Seek out 40 Like a rind 41 Word following a sigh 42 “___ bin ein Berliner” 43 Part of a 2004 “wardrobe malfunction” 44 Pick 6 game 45 Sartre play set in a hotel room

47 Highest degree 48 Tel ___ 49 River that causes people to forget 51 Coll. period 53 Bar opener?

54 Suitable person?

57 Mil. personnel 59 Inductee to the Hockey Hall of Fame at age 31 60 Capital of the Northwest Territories 64 Mo. whose birthstone is turquoise 65 “The King and I” setting 66 Flip ___ 67 Mount St. Helens output 68 Watch the bar or the goal 69 Streisand-as-a-boy flick Down 1 David James Elliott’s show 2 It may need a boost 3 Headache medicine administered to a creepy butler?

4 Site for some studs 5 Locust group 6 NASDAQ opener 7 Half-human, half-goat creature

8 Ravi Shankar’s instrument 9 Pizza topping specially designed for Oregon and Washington?

10 Network merger between an American company and a French one?

11 End of an Oktoberfest quaff 12 Command near “Open” 17 Dance held in honor of a 1970s self-help genre?

18 “Breathing Lessons” author Anne 22 ___ Paese (cheese choice) 23 Bring home, as a cat with its prey 24 Elaborate architectural style 26 Hold in high esteem 29 ___ volente (God willing) 31 Saddam’s mate, on “South Park” 33 They’re ruled by Qabus ibn Said 34 UN focus 37 They may hold fishing tackle 41 APB abbr.

43 Part of a phrase meaning “small”

46 Gen-___ 50 Jodie, in “Contact” 52 Longtime “Wide World of Sports” host Jim 54 Frank Oz character 55 Refined matters 56 Custard served with caramel 58 “___ Upon a Mattress” 61 Group whose “If You Leave” was written for “Pretty in Pink” 62 Physically up to it 63 Photo lab order: abbr. ©2005 Jonesin’ Crosswords(editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute.

Must be 18+.

Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548.

Reference puzzle #0203.

AP R . 28

M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

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AP R . 28

•

M A Y 4 , 2 OO5

uNDER c OVER |1-5| 2 2 4 5

|6-9| 6 7 8

| 10 - 13 | 10 11 12 12 12 13 13

| 14 - 17 | 16

| 18 - 20 | 18 19 19 20 20

| 21 - 24 | 21 21 21 22 22 22 23 23

| 25 - 26 | 25 26 26

| 27 |

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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buzz weekly •

NO! IT’S NOT A PORN! SICKO

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under the cover

INTRO

Editor’s Note This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow News of the Weird • Chuck Shephard First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN Racial Boundaries • Toccara Castleman q + a with Yoon Pak The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Flook interview • Kyle Gorman Sting at Assembly Hall • Kyle Gorman Blueprint review • DJ Bozak Sensation Junkies review • Brian Klein The Hurly-Burly • Logan Moore Sound Ground #73 • Todd J. Hunter Parasol Charts

MAIN EVENT Bob n’ Dave • Dave King

ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT Staging Life • Emily Cotterman Romeo & Juliet review • Syd Slobodnik Jennifer Government review • Brandt Glan (Th)ink • Keef Knight Artist’s Corner with Alistair Slaughter

THE SILVER SCREEN Loos Ends • John Loos The Interpreter review • Paul Prikazsky Photo Poll • The Interpreter Kung Fu Hustle review • Brian Nichols The Upside of Anger review • John Loos Movie time listings Slowpoke • Jen Sorenson Drive Through Reviews

THE STINGER

PHOTO • SARAH KROHN

I LOVE DEADLINES. I LIKE THE WHOOSHING SOUND THEY MAKE AS THEY FLY BY.

THE

26 • b u z z w e e k l y

Alistair Slaughter and his poetry.

p. 20

Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Life in Hell • Matt Groening

CLASSIFIEDS

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I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

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buzz weekly

AP R . 28

OH YEAH. CAROL AND I MADE A MOVIE.

BUZZ STAFF v o l u m e

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EDITOR’S NOTE

Cover Design • Hannah Bai Editor in chief • Paul Wagner Art Director • Carol Mudra Copy Chief • Stacey Ivanic Music • Kyle Gorman Arts • Brian Warmoth Film • Andrew Vecelas Community • Susie An Calendar • Erin Scottberg Photography Editor • David Solana Designers • Adam Obendorf, Sue Janna Truscott, Glenn Cochon, Claire Napier, Hannah Bai, Brittany Bindrim Calendar Coordinators • Cassie Conner Photography • Sarah Krohn, Adriana D’Onofrio Copy Editors • Jen Hubert, Nellie Waddell Staff Writers • Matt Pais, Randy Ma, Martha Reggi, John Loos, Brian Warmoth, Imran Siddiquee, Todd J. Hunter, Jennifer Crabill, DJ Bozak, Courtney Hrejsa, Brian Klein, Emily Cotterman, Syd Slobodnik Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Logan Moore, Jeff Nelson Production Manager • Meredith Niepert Sales Manager • Anna Rost Marketing/Distribution • Louis Reeves III Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail:

buzz@readbuzz.com write:

57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call:

217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50

© Illini Media Company 2005

APARTMENTS

OLD TOWN CHAMPAIGN

INDEX

I

know this is going to sound kind of sad, but on Tuesday I took my first real visit to McKinley Health Center as an actual patient. Sure, I had been to McKinley before, but it was only because a friend was sick, and I was keeping them company or something in that vein.

But Tuesday I went as a patient. I needed to see a doctor. And going to a place commonly called McKillme didn’t instill confidence in the place’s ability to fix me.

Hell, I don’t even like going to the doctor. I put it off as long as I can. I’m one of those people who denies the crap out of being sick. I’ll be coughing up a lung, blowing my nose every three seconds and feeling miserable, but I’ll swear I’m not getting sick.

My usual remedy to illness? Orange juice and vitamin C.Yes, that’s a bit overkill. But I like to think it works, dammit. And tea.

You can never have too much tea when you’re sick, at least that’s what my mom taught me. “Drink plenty of fluids,” she always said. 7-Up works, too, but I prefer my orange juice and tea.

This past weekend when I started feeling sick and denied it, I bought extra orange juice, drank a crap load of tea and got sleep.

But on Tuesday I woke up and couldn’t swallow effectively enough to drink my orange juice. Fearing the worst, I went into the bathroom and looked at my tongue, which was white. Of all the things I remember from getting strep throat every year as a kid, my mom always freaked out when my tongue turned white.

So I bit the bullet and dragged my sorry ass to McKinley, without an appointment, to get checked out. Amazingly, I waited less than an hour, got checked out, told that I probably had strep and was given antibiotics and pain killers.All in McKinley, all for free.

As much as people complain about the place, I was pretty impressed with it. Of course, who isn’t impressed with free pain killers? Now someone pass the Vicodin.

Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

- Paul

Silver Bullet Bar 1401 E. Washington, U. www.silverbulletbar.net 344-0937 Monday - $2 Domestic Beers Tuesday - $2 Rum & Coke Wednesday - $2.50 Screwdrivers Thursday - $2 Amaretto Stone Sours FREE POOL 8PM-9PM FEMALE DANCERS NIGHTLY

f r o m

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DEADLINE:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Employment 000 010

HELP WANTED Full Time

Nonprofit, professional, scientific association seeks technical editor for monthly research journals. Candidates must have superior language skills, the ability to understand the conventions of primary scientific literature, and formal training or experience in English grammar and usage. Bachelor’s degree is required; master’s degree is preferred. Preference will be given to those with previous editing experience in an online environment, strong computer skills, and familiarity with the Internet and online publishing. Experience with databases (MS Access) and knowledge of XML are desirable. Duties will include editing scientific manuscripts electronically for style, grammar, and format; working with figures and tables; correcting and assembling issues; manuscript tracking; and miscellaneous publication tasks.

Competitive salary and excellent benefits.

TO apply, send a letter of interest, resume, and salary requirements to Technical Editor Search, FASS, 1111 N. Dunlap Ave., Savoy, IL 61874. No phone calls please.

EOE. Deadline for application is May 6, 2005.

Paid-in-Advance: 28¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $14 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $7 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

s o u n d s

f r o m

1 bedroom lofts $497 2 bedrooms $545 3 bedrooms $650 4 bedrooms $1000 Campus, parking.

Fall 04, 367-6626

Full/Part Time

105 E. John

Available Jan 05 1 bedroom $385 Campus. 367-6626

307 & 310 E. White 307 & 309 Clark

BEST VALUE 1 BR. loft from $480.

1 Br. $370 2 BR. $470 3 BR. $750 4 BR $755 Campus. 367-6626.

Fall 2005. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Secured building. $320/month. Available June 1 and August ‘05.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

503- 505- 508 E. White

NO BULL!

Free Best Buy and Campus Tan gift certificate with each signed lease!

Remodeled apartments that redefine campus living.

3 and 4 bedroom apartments available at 810 S. Oak St. between John and Daniel in Champaign.

3 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (only $333 per roommate!)

4 bedroom apartment at $999/mo. (less than $250 per roommate!)

High-speed internet, water, and trash included!

Laundry in building.

NINE MONTH LEASES NEGOTIABLE

AUTOMOBILES

310

www.lookatusedcars.com 1990 Toyota Supra, 5-speed, looks, runs, and drives great. $3200 obo.

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Apartments APARTMENTS

400 410

Furnished/Unfurnished

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www.johnsmithproperties.com

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1005 S. SECOND, C

Efficiencies. Available now and Fall 2005. Secured building. Private parking. Laundry on site, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C

Earn $5000 as an egg donor. Must be 20-29 and a non-smoker. Please call Alternative Reproductive Resources at 773-327-7315 or 847446-1001 to learn how you can help a family fulfill its dreams.

510 S. Elm Available Fall 2005. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, dishwasher, W/D, central air/heat, off street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. $525/mo. 841-1996.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Fall 2005. 1& 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Includes parking.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

030

HELP WANTED

Available Now. 2 bedroom on campus. $550 per month. 367-6626.

s c e n e

Furnished/Unfurnished

217-384-6930

Volunteer & Outreach Coordinator, Habitat for Humanity. Full-time professional. Recruit, train, and coordinate volunteers for homebuild projects and HOMEWORKS store; publicize achievements, events, and volunteer opportunities; and assist with organizational marketing. Full description and requirements at cuhabitat.org. To apply: Send resume, cover letter, and 3 references to: Habitat Director, 40 E. University, Champaign, IL 61820 or director@cuhabitat.org. Deadline 5/9.

Transportation 300

RATES:

410

APARTMENTS

Technical (Copy) Editor

Billed rate: 35¢/word

BEST BAR IN CHAMPAIGN-URBANA BEST DJ’S AND MUSIC - BEST DRINK SPECIALS

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000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

OPEN Monday - Thursday 8pm-1am Friday-Saturday 8pm-2am Ladies & Couples Welcome Always Free Admission with our T-Shirt ATM $5.00 Admission/Ladies Free Accepted MUST BE 21

I N T R O | A R O U N D T O W N | L I S T E N , H E A R | M A I N E V E N T | A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T | T H E S I LV E R S C R E E N | T H E S T I N G E R | C L A S S I F I E D S

420

Furnished

PAUL WAGNER • EDITOR IN CHIEF

For August 2005. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Office at 309 S. First, Champaign.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

207- 211 JOHN

Fall 2005 Prime Campus Location 2, 3 Bedrooms THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

JOHN STREET APARTMENTS

58 E. John August 2005. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, ethernet available.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Showings Monday-Friday 10-5 Saturday 11-4 For after hours showings, please call Chad, 202-8517.

27

buzz weekly •

CONGRATULATING MYSELF ON WATCHING ALL 7 SEASONS OF BUFFY.

Now & Fall 2005 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available. On-site resident manager. Call Kenny.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2005, Large 1 bedroom furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available.

Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

509 E. White, C.

Aug. 2005. Large 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

602 E. Stoughton

Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments.

All furnished, laundry, internet, and parking available. Must see!!

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS

307- 309 Healey Court.

Fall 2005. Behind Gully’s. 2 bedrooms. Ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

420

Furnished

1006 S. 3RD, C.

Aug 2005. 1 bedroom. Location, location. Covered parking & laundry, furnished & patios, ethernet available. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS

FREE IPOD SHUFFLE TO EACH TENANT! 2 houses. 3 1/2 blocks from quad.

606 & 608 E. Stoughton. 8 bedroom, 3 bath. Available June 1, 2005. $2300/mo, $2200/mo. plus utilities.

Free parking. (630)205-4889.

NEED A 1 BR!

440

1 BR. Available Now. Parking included. 6th & Stoughton. $400/mo plus utilities. 630-205-4889

Other Rentals 500

Super nice 3BR/2 bath ranch house with oak floors, new W/D. 2 car garage. On Race St. near Windsor Rd. in Urbana. Close to Meadowbrook Park and Vet Med. PET FRIENDLY! Only $1295/month!

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HOUSES

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BIG RANCH!

Convenient 1 bedrooms near downtown Champaign now available.

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Quality apartments and houses for rent • Many pet-friendly locations • Furnished AND Unfurnished units • 9 month leases negotiable at some locations

• On-campus or off-campus • Excellent Tenant Union record • Weekend/evening showings by appointment

CALL US AT (217) 384-6930 VIEW OUR LISTINGS @ www.johnsmithproperties.com

OPPORTUNITY Enjoys working in a high paced environment Enjoys working with others Great sales person Looking for a challenging and rewarding job that looks great on a resumé Detail oriented Here for Summer and Fall ‘’05 If this is you, then you should think about a job with the Daily Illini Classified Department.

Stop by the office at 57 E. Green, Champaign for more information and an application, or call 337-8337.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

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