Buzz Magazine: May 3, 2007

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PROTECTING ENDANGERED WILDLIFE

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BUZZ TALKS WITH OK GO

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GIVE LIFE TWO THUMBS UP!

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buzz weekly

RIBBIT RIBBIT RIBBIT GO THE FROGS IN THE WOODS.

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no.17

Cover Design â&#x20AC;˘ Nikita Sorokin Editor in Chief â&#x20AC;˘ Tatyana Safronova Art Director â&#x20AC;˘ Nikita Sorokin Copy Chief â&#x20AC;˘ Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear â&#x20AC;˘ Carlye Wisel Stage, Screen & in Between â&#x20AC;˘ Keri Carpenter Around Town â&#x20AC;˘ Evangeline Politis CU Calendar â&#x20AC;˘ Annette Gonzalez Photography Editor â&#x20AC;˘ Amelia Moore Designers â&#x20AC;˘ Agatha Budys, Renee Okumura, Maria Surawska Calendar Coordinator â&#x20AC;˘ Caitlin Cremer, Bonnie Steirnberg Photography â&#x20AC;˘ Amelia Moore, Greg Hinchman Copy Editors â&#x20AC;˘ Lisa Fisherkeller, Emily Ciaglia, Ilana Katz, Whitney Harris Contributing Writers â&#x20AC;˘ Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Mike Ingram, Kim Rice, Ross Wantland Sales Manager â&#x20AC;˘ Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution â&#x20AC;˘ Brandi Wills Publisher â&#x20AC;˘ Mary Cory

on the web: www.readbuzz.com e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 512 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

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UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 |4-7| 4 7 | 8 - 15 | 8 10 11 12 12 15 | 16 - 17 | 16 | 18 - 23 | 18 20 21 22 | 24 - 26 | 25 25 26

INTRO This Modern World Life in Hell First Things First

AROUND TOWN A Wildlife Haven The Local Sniff

LISTEN, HEAR The Broken Social Scene Tunes nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Talk with Ok Go CU Sound Revue Billy Joel Concert Review Album reviews A Quickie with ... Zmick

THE HOOPLA Holey Cow

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN 64 Ways to Give Life Two Thumbs Up The Diaries of Ebertfest Why Knot?

Movie reviews

THE STINGER Doinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; it Well Jonesinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Crosswords Free Will Astrology

| 27 - 28 |

CLASSIFIEDS

| 29 - 32 |

CU CALENDAR

Š Illini Media Company 2007

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TALK TO BUZZ

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BUZZ STAFF

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tatyana safronova EDITORâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NOTE In l ight of the loom i ng f i na l s a nd to highlight our own story on the 64 ways to give life two thumbs up (pg. 18), Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve compiled a list of ways the buzz staff keeps sane and p r o d u c t i ve d u r i n g finals week, and some stuff theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing just to get their minds off the nightmare of school.

I hope this gives all of you ideas to make your week go by a little smoother. Enjoy!

-Eating chocolate muffins from Espresso Royale to keep energized -Putting bubble wrap on the floor and jumping on it -Taking mini road trips -Turning boyfriendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s apartment into a study zone while heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s out of town

-Watching a ton of anime on YouTube -Going on a girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; night out in downtown Champaign restaurants -Masturbating -Watching the third Spiderman movie tonight at midnight -Chillinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and watching E! -Preparing elaborate meals -Listening to music (Andrew Birdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s record Armchair Apocrypha) -Looking forward to my canoeing trip -Looking forward to my rollerblading barcrawl (Bomb Night at C.O.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on Wednesday!)

-Biking -Having sex -Getting enough sleep for the first time in months -Getting a large caramel iced coffee at Dunkinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Donuts, every day -Keeping calm and carrying on -Spending all my time outdoors -Drinking a lot of Earl Grey tea -I have no finals.

â&#x20AC;˘ 352-2273

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ONLY ONE THING WORSE THAN A DRAGON...AMERICANS.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Living La Dolce Vita Even if it doesn’t happen as planned

There’s an old joke that goes, how do you make God laugh? Have a plan.

Okay, the joke probably isn’t that funny, but it is sort of true. Nothing ever works out quite as you had imagined. Plans can go south for several reasons.

Usually, it’s because of other people not exactly cooperating to the degree you would like. This is strangely preferable because none of the blame lies on your shoulders and also because it’s sort of satisfying to blame others.

Sometimes plans just break down and there’s not much you can do about it. Sure, you’ll still blame someone, but it isn’t really their fault.

Every so often though, things fall apart and the blame lies squarely on your own shoulders … and sometimes you couldn’t be happier about the way it all worked out.

This was sort of the case last Friday and I thought it might be fun to take a look at each stage of the plan falling apart. The plan was for me and a friend to meet up at 6:30 in the evening, have a drink and then so see a movie at Ebertfest at 7:30. It sounds simple even now as I write it, but it sort of fell apart … with a vengeance.

The event was sold out, but we were already set up with tickets. This was good because it’s hard to appear cool when you’re attempting to buy tickets for a foreign film. “Who’s got two for La Dolce Vita? I’ll pay top freaking dollar for two for La Dolce freaking Vita.” Seriously, it just sounds strange. Oddly, that could have been the hardest part and it was already taken care of.

I personally feel the trouble began two evenings before then when we decided to attend after we’d had a few drinks. It’s very easy to make plans in that state but it seldom seems to make quite as much sense the next day. I remember reading once about a community that would have two votes for every law they were passed. They would get intoxicated and vote for a law, then the next day, they would vote on the same law when they were sober, or vice versa. Either way, they had to approve of the law in both states of mind for it to become official. I like the general sentiment of this concept, but even it isn’t fool-proof. We decided “yes” sort of drunk and then when we were sober the next day the answer was also “yes.”

It still didn’t work out.

T he rea l problem, I feel, wa s t hat we included “a quick drink” into our plan. That is the wild card of wild cards when it comes to good intentions. I’ve never really been the type of guy who can go out and have a drink and then leave. In fact, I can’t remember the last time something like that worked out for me. I mean, it was Friday night and we had worked hard all week. That f irst drink went down pretty fast and we still had 45 minutes to kill. It only made sense to go ahead and get another drink. I’m sure you can already see the plan falling apart.

During the second drink, we began to run into people we knew. We steadfastly stuck to our plan during these conversations. “Oh, yeah, gonna go see the movie, supposed to be good, pretty excited about it.” I could already see the tide turning though. The more we talked to others the more this tide turned.

“Oh, that sounds like fun,” they would say.

“Maybe we’ll see you at 10:30 when it’s over with.” Let me tell you, after two drinks, any movie that lasts three hours suddenly seems like a chore. Actually, after two drinks any movie that last three hours and doesn’t have Bruce Willis jumping out of a plane with a f irearm seems almost unbearable.

The time drew nearer and another drink would not be possible if we were to make the movie. This is the time you really need to begin telling yourself the truth. “You know what, I cannot do this for three hours. I mean, all that reading and sitting and watching. I’ve already had two beers so I’m gonna have to pee at least twice during the movie. It just seems like a lot of trouble.” I was doing my part to bring about the demise of our plan.

I neg lected to ment ion how good t he beer tasted and that I’d truthfully rather just watch a ball game on TV, but those were also considerations. By the time the third drink was ordered, it was pretty much over. We made a token gesture by saying “Well, if we f inish these real quick we can still make it.” Yeah, we said the words out loud, but there was no attempt on either of our parts to actually follow through with that plan either. We had a few more beers and laughed and talked and, honestly, it was probably a helluva lot more fun than the movie would ever have been.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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around town

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DRAKE BAER • CONTRIBUTING WRITER | PHOTOS BY AMELIA MOORE

Tuesday morning, the bald eagle underwent surgery to fix an old fracture. A loose piece of bone was dead and had to be removed. Doctors assisted by students were able to remove the bone and fuse the structure together. By the afternoon, she was back on her perch.

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Screeching and scratching, the raccoons explored their new space. Two orphaned kits recently admitted to the clinic felt and chattered their way around the cage. Their unit was one among many for the smaller animals at the clinic, including Noah, the diminutive owl, and Dizzy, the red-tailed hawk who, due to an inner ear infection, is indeed quite dizzy.

This Tuesday, Burdick handled the baby raccoons. She transferred the animals from an incubator generously donated from Carle Clinic to the cage. “Almost everything at the clinic has been donated,” she said. With caring hands, she arranged the kits’ new quarters: two boxes to settle into, a brightly colored dog’s toy and a heating pad to keep them warm.

“The clinic provides everything from emergency care up to release,” Burdick said. It has a policy of not releasing any patients unless they are 100 percent recovered and able to survive in the wild as if they had they not been hurt. Sadly, this is not always possible. “We are often forced to euthanize,” she said.

“You have to think of what’s fair for this patient, is it fair to keep [a hawk] for five months to undergo extensive treatment?” she asked. One of the most difficult parts of the job is the balance between looking at the animal surgically and as a patient.

“It’s natural,” she said. “We’re all going to be vets, we all love animals.”

Earlier that day, Josh Locher, one of the team leaders, lost two of his patients. Looking over his charts with his head in his hands, his loss is palpable.

Thankfully, there are other options.

The two orphaned kits, if all goes to plan, will soon be given to a rehabilitator. “They need to learn that they’re raccoons,” Burdick explained. “They imprint on humans really easily, and in that case we can’t release them.”

Katie Freske, team leader and veterinary medicine student, and Mallory Howes, sophomore in animal sciences, attempt to gain control of the female bald eagle, whose left wing has recently operated on, to give her medicine to aid her recovery.

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ith talons for grasping prey and a beak curved for rending flesh, the bald eagle is as deadly as it is iconic. The symbol of America could once be found in many states but is no longer. The footprint of man has driven the majestic creature north, and she only now slowly returns.

To continue this trend, a conscious group of veterinary students at the University staff the Wildlife Medical Clinic. Past the hallowed halls of PAR and FAR, past the Arboretum and the Japan House, is the College of Veterinary Medicine.

More than an intermittent stop on the 22 Illini, the College — and its accompanying hospital — is one of the best in the area.

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And just below the small animal hospital is the Wildlife Clinic, where student volunteers labor all day to help species adversely affected in the area — from squirrels to owls to hawks and the occasional eagle.

The case on hand is one of Catori, a female bald eagle brought in from Fox Ridge State Park near Charleston, Ill. In order to repair her left wing, she would be put under the knife.

“We want her to be able to hold her wing up when she’s perched so it doesn’t droop,” said Stacy Burdick. The co-manager and second-year student in veterinary school said that she hopes for there to be no long-term pain for the eagle. “Now it’s a matter of recovery,” she added.

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“This is fantastic blood work,” said Dr. Mark Mitchell, a faculty advisor for the clinic. The doctor, a larger than life figure — as much Paul Bunyan as Alec Baldwin — directed rounds concerning one of the clinics newest patients, an eerily calm great horned owl.

From a variety of ongoing diagnostics, the team was able to determine that she had entered into renal failure and underwent a blood transfusion — once again with donated supplies.

“We need to stabilize the kidneys and then figure out what’s sounds from the scene

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AS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD I AM RECENTLY A CROWNED CLASS B DUNGEON-MASTER.

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wrong with it,” Mitchell explained to the team of volunteers.

Among the technical, clinical recommendations about the case — the importance of antibiotics and the pumping of B-complex — Mitchell flavored his teachings. In a turn equally Hippocratic and Socratic, the doctor quizzed the student volunteers about possible treatments.

Mitchell warned against giving the bird too much iron.

“Iron is something almost impossible to get rid of,” he said, and it is a haven for bacteria. When he was young, he killed a bird doing that, he said. The survival of a patient rests in the hands of the clinician, be they young or wizened.

The clinic provides invaluable hands-on experience with clinical cases for the veterinary students. “As students, they need all the experience they can get,” he explained.

The clinic serves all species of the animal community, including humans, Mitchell said.

“What we learn about bald eagles can be applied to herds of cows or even macaws,” Mitchell said. All of the animals at the clinic are there as a result of humans, be it toxic exposure or infectious disease.

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One of two orphaned raccoon kits waits, whimpering before being weighed and fed by vet med students.

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Nokomis, a Native American name for Mother Earth, a great horned owl, watches visitors to the clinic from behind the bars of his cage at the Wildlife Medical Clinic.

The clinic benefits public health as much as conservation. “It’s huge for public health,” he said. The West Nile virus was found in birds before it could affect a great number of people in America, a boon for public health.

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The volunteers pour their free time into the clinic — something far from regrettable.

“You f it it into your schedule,” said Julia Katzenbach, junior in animal science, “It’s not ever really that hard because I just love it here so much.” Katzenbach discussed the stress of finals with two fellow undergraduates. They were all at the clinic instead of studying.

As Catori the bald eagle is laid on the metallic table, two volunteers wrap her in a towel while administering shots. The eagle takes in her treatment with a ferocious calm, one that had previously been broken.

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“She’s doing pretty good,” said Katie Freske, second-year student in veterinary school. “She’s up and on her perch; she fought us when we tried to treat her.”

“She’s going to be here for a while,” said Freske.

To monitor the recovery process, the bird will undergo successive radiographs.

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E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!F Catori may never recover to the point to be able to survive in the wild, but if all goes according to plan, she will have a new home at the Brookfield Zoo.

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I WENT HOME TO GET APPLE SAUCE.

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seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

FINAL SNIFF O K , O K . D r y yo u r eyes or stop cheering. No matter what you think or have thought of this column over the past three and a half years, one thing is for certain: It’s finished.

Yep! I quit. Done. Fin. Au revoir! Wait — I can’t stand French …

The truth is that I have changed over the course of the past six weeks in my hiatus and I think that my final column should reflect some of those changes. Or maybe not. I guess I don’t care all that much.

THANK YOU… I need to start, I think, by thanking a few choice people, businesses and organizations. For without them, much of this column would have never been possible. Thank you News-Gazette and John Foreman. Your riveting and hardhitting journalism makes the whole town slap their thighs with laughter. Thank you CU Smoke Free Alliance. Your self-righteous rhetoric and propaganda may have worked out in ’06, but in ’07 the people voted and it looks like you might be screwed until the State of Illinois saves your ass.

Though, for the record, I quit smoking cigarettes.

And I am still against the blanket ban. Liberty should be for all of us. Thank you Save the Chief Coalition. Your idiocy knows no bounds and as a result you will be mocked by none other than The Daily Show just to prove how stupid you really were. Thank you University of Illinois, the BOT and all that reign supreme. You really know how to teach kids to become mindless sheep. After all, look at me! Thank you GOP and the Bush Administration. Your inability to do anything right made this column so easy to pump out that I ended up doing it in my sleep some nights. Thank you, right-winged conservative evangelical churches. Your interpretations of the

Jazz Night Thursdays

Good Book made it simple for a guy like me to fire off with maniacal street preacher style about your sad theological proclamations …

I could go on …

THE REASON FOR MY DEPARTURE. I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want people calling my parents’ house and asking for my phone number. I don’t want you e-mailing me, asking me to give your organization some ink.

I don’t want to feel bad about being critical of people and businesses in town. It’s not your fault.

It’s my own. I asked for it and now I don’t want it anymore. Simple as that.

All truth be told, I am not that tough. Most of you who know me are already aware of just how soft I really am. But let me make it clear and make no mistake: I hate being told that I am an asshole even when I am being an asshole.

It makes it diff icult to write about how shitty local places and people are really. And that includes me.

THE ILLINI MEDIA COMPANY Let me be clear here. I think the world of the IMC on the whole. Most of the people who run the show are great too. I genuinely like Scott Downs, head of sales and Chuck Allen — who runs the show for WPGU — is radical in ways only men with dreadlocks who like surf-a-billy music would know about. I like Mary Cory, the publisher and I really like the idea that she has made a student-run organization like this thrive in this town. But that doesn’t mean that it was to escape my opinions, and so I let it fly on a number of occasions. It was the reaction of some of the students within the organization that greatly contributed to my decision to leave this column behind. They could not tolerate criticism. And that makes sense, as they are still children. I remember being that age. And if I were them, I’d probably hate me too.

SO LET ME BE STRAIGHT: WPGU — Your DJs are just not very good.

They have almost always had trouble. It was exciting when you changed your format to indie rock, but when you do remotes at bars like KAMS and talk about how much you are going to miss the Chief and pair that with a Sufjan Stevens song, you sound really ignorant. Plus, pronouncing Neko Case as NEKKO case was the icing on the cake. At the very least, try to pronounce the bands’ names correctly even if you have never listened to them before. buzz — My homies: You do pretty good work overall, but why oh why must there be cover stories about things like Hot Air Balloon festivals or retirement homes in distress? Perhaps this was the work of old editors and staff, but to be honest, the cover story selection is still lacking in a lot of ways. The name of the magazine is buzz, and shouldn’t the emphasis of each issue be to highlight things that are “buzzing” around town?

Those stories are good to write, but don’t put them on the cover. Stick with music, theater, local controversy, etc. etc. Trust me on this one.

Daily Illini — You do a pretty great job for what you are, I think. But I never really read you very often, so I don’t have a real opinion. Sorry.

I would comment on the Illio and the Technograph — but I stopped thinking about yearbooks in high school and up until recently, I thought the Technograph was a course you could take.

Criticism is not indicative of dissatisfaction Criticism is indicative of care in this case.

That’s all it has ever been for me. I care about these towns. I care about the people who I know and the people who run businesses. I care about the people who I criticize, because I want this to be a community that shines from greatness.

I want this to be a place that never stops being critical of themselves, because that would be the fastest way to failure.

Every time someone told me to move because

I complained too much, I would always respond the same way; I complain because I still live here!

I complain because I still care.

I cannot be the person who does that anymore.

But I am hoping that someone steps up to the plate and criticizes me and my work. It will only inspire me to do it better.

LAST WHIFF. It’s hard to figure out the best way to wrap this up. Almost four years in 1,000 words or so. I suppose that I will just do the obvious thing. No surprise confessions and no dramatic exit. Just want to say thank you to my Mom and Dad, really, for teaching me how to express myself and how to use grammar and language to my advantage. And to my fiancée, Justine, for sticking with me even though I have this terrible tendency to stick my foot in my mouth. But so does she, so it works out.

As for me, you’ll still see me around town here and there. I promise to do my best to smile and not ridicule. You’ll forgive me if I forget who you are. Just the same way I’d forgive you.

Seth Fein is from Urbana. He is glad to be done with this column. His next plans are to continue growing Nicodemus Agency and Pygmalion Music Festival, eat some Custard Cup and go see the Mark Robert’s play, “Parasite Drag.” He cannot be reached at an e-mail address, unless you just want to say goodbye. Then you can reach him at seth@nicodemusagency.com.

EDITOR’S NOTE Seth Fein has provided a unique perspective on this community with his column for years.

Though his opinions do not always reflect those of the editorial staff, we thank him for all his work and wish him well.

@ Tonight: Boneyard Jazz Quintet $3 Cover

627 E. Green St. 344-0710 sounds from the scene

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listen, hear K-OS BRIAN MCGOVERN

• STAFF WRITER

Our neighbors from the north have given so much to our American culture. Canada has given us comedians like Dan Aykroyd, Mike Myers and Phil Hartman, television game show hosts like Alex Trebek and athletes like Steve Nash. But with acts such as Sum 41, Avril Lavigne and Celine Dion all from Canada, it’d seem like the country is lacking in the musical department. Since the mid-’90s, however, the country — and particularly the city of Montreal — has been pumping out some alternative independent music that beats the pants off of anything coming from the States. Wolf Parade and the world-renowned Arcade Fire are just two products of Montreal’s scene. A more sprawling and interesting example, though, is the intertwining and overlapping of bands associated with the collective Broken Social Scene. Founded by Kevin Drew and Brendan Canning in 1999, the band has become the glue of Montreal’s music scene; a scene that has continually been churning out acclaimed acts.

Here it is —

Accl a i med rapper who appea red on BSS’s self-titled 2005 album.

THE DEARS

Founder and lead singer Mur ray Lig htbur n ha s contributed his talents for BSS on occasion.

METRIC

THE BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE

Vocalist Emily Haines fronts this new wave act as well as working with BSS. James Shaw takes guitar duties for both bands as well.

STARS Amy Milan and Bassist/ trombonist Evan Cranley joined BSS for 2003’s You Forgot it in People, but they also are members of the orchestral pop band, Stars. Stars has a remix album Do You Trust Your Friends out May 22, featuring remixes by a lot of the bands on this page. Milan also tours as a solo artist.

DO MAKE SAY THINK BSS member Charles Spearin also is a contributing member to this post-rock instrumental act.

VALLEY OF THE GIANTS BSS labelmates, with overlapping members Brendan Canning and Say Thinker Charles Spearin.

THE HIDDEN CAMERAS Ohad Benchetrit, member of DMST, connects them to Hidden Cameras, the off color and catchy “gay church folk band.”

GODSPEED YOU! BLACK EMPEROR

The epic and definitive post rock band. Violinist Sophie Trudeau makes the connection.

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JASON COLLETT One of BSS’s million guitarists, Collett’s solo work puts a Canadian spin on Americana.

JUNIOR BLUE Experimental rock band that features members of BSS as well as from its predecessor, By Divine Right.

sounds from the scene

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buzz weekly •

DO IT IN A CANOE.

FEIST

MEMPHIS

The Reminder

ERIN GILLMAN • STAFF WRITER

“Being a musician is like living the life of an 18-year-old high school dropout. I mean, why be in rock and roll otherwise? You might as well just get a job.”

Torquil Campbell, musician and singer for the bands Memphis and Stars, admits to waking up late, eating a little something, spending a few hours doing whatever he fancies and starting it up all over again the next day. Don’t let him fool you into thinking he doesn’t work hard — though Memphis debuted in August of 2004, and Stars released their fifth album in 2005.

Campbell grew up in beautiful Toronto, Canada and spent the better part of his college days perfecting his now famous melodramatic style of music. The shy boy from Canada was unrelentingly polite and charming as he explained the surreal dream it is to travel through countries making music with his best friends.

“Music was an excuse to hang out and have a good time together, so we had the opportunity, and that’s what we did.”

Any excuse to pal around all day is a good one, especially if it ends in highly acclaimed musical pieces and sold-out concerts all over the world.

The birth of Memphis may have been lighthearted and playful, but Torq and Chris Dumont are getting some serious recognition for their breezy songs and laid-back demeanor.

“Memphis is a simpler, more low-key feeling than Stars, which is five people all together trying to make music.” The two-man band may be only an infant in the eyes of the music industry, but the combined wisdom and intellect of both men is profound enough to help Memphis grow and mature.

They may admittedly be boys at heart, but they’ve spent their fair share of time perfecting the craft of music. Torq has been playing music since his school days and writing music since he was around 20 years old. When Stars left New York for Vancouver, Chris Dumont stuck around and worked at the Metropolitan Opera as a nonsinging actor. During the summer, he took off of work to spend time in Vancouver writing quiet declarations of love, which would soon blossom into the songs of Memphis.

“The best shows I’ve ever played have been the ones with about 30 people there, most of whom were us. I love the shows that we played when nobody gave a shit and we were cheering each other on. There was a wonderful sense of being so sure that your friends were so talented and had so much to offer and feeling like you were in on this fabulous secret that eventually you would have to give up. Those shows mean the most to me.”

Stars and Memphis are two of those wonderful little secrets we can’t wait to hear. Their music is like a love letter — licked, sealed and sent far away, waiting to be torn open by an ever-gracious recipient on the other end of the line. There’s a sweet sadness behind their dainty music and the same milky tone of a musician far from home.

Each album is a lullaby, a whispered anthem of friendship and love. Spending the summer on a lake with his lovely wife will surely lend a hand in inspiring the dapper Scottish man named Torq, but then it’s back to business as an 18-year-old high school dropout. If only we were all so lucky. sounds from the scene

9

BRIAN MCGOVERN

APOSTLE OF HUSTLE BRIAN MCGOVERN • STAFF WRITER

PHOTO COURTESY OF VICTOR TAVARES

After an inspiring two-month trip to Cuba, Andrew Whiteman, lead guitarist for Broken Social Scene, started a new musical project incorporating all the music he took in during his stay. Absorbing the Latin and Cuban music culture as well as learning a 3-stringed guitar called the tres, Whiteman came back to Canada and formed Apostle of Hustle.

The trio’s first record, Folkloric Feel, came out in 2004 with critical acclaim. Arts and Crafts record label released the band’s sophomore album, National Anthem of Nowhere, this past February. Andrew Whiteman, while driving to Chicago for the start of their tour with Andrew Bird, talked about how more than Latin music or Montreal connections, Apostle of Hustle is about appreciating and embracing the music they love.

“Well we are ...” Whiteman hesitates for a moment over the phone, “In the band, we’re music nerds.”

Not strictly limiting themselves to a particular style or aesthetic, Apostle of Hustle could be seen as a pot for mixing a variety of sounds and ideas.

“It was a good place to make a mash up, [but] we do gravitate to world music,” he said.

Within the realm of world music, Whiteman explained the writing process for the band simply as a sort of ‘stealing.’ Gleaning could be a more accurate description, particularly when listening to Folkloric Feel’s track of the same name.

“We start with something we steal, and turn it into something else,” Whiteman casually and unapologetically said. “We’ll have a rhythmic or

melodic phrase somewhere, [and] we think no one will catch it.”

The same can be seen in Whiteman’s other project, Broken Social Scene. The track “Hotel” started as a remix of one of Feist’s songs. Through variations and adaptations, what comes is something totally new. The result in Apostle of Hustle’s work is also something totally new and rich, though it retains a familiar and simple root.

Just like BSS, Whiteman’s project relies heavily on collaboration, and a bit of substance abuse.

“A lot of our songs started ... in the bedroom of my house, and we’d be super high,” he said.

“Julian and Dean would come over and get that stuff done.”

The jams and demos they assembled were then taken to Montreal and worked on in the studio. For the new record, the only guidelines Whiteman set were louder vocals and more percussion. A lot of the record also came from, as Whiteman put it, “drinking about four bottles of red wine every night.”

Apostle of Hustle is a band that wears their influences on their sleeve; a rare thing seen in indie culture. Not presenting themselves as pretentious genius, Whiteman and the gang are appreciators but also brilliant artists. Just in titles and lines of songs, Apostle of Hustle mentions both Manu Chao and Victor Jara, two prominent world and folk singers. This love for music and collaborative nature, with Leslie Feist and other Montreal musicians appearing through National Anthem, really make Apostle of Hustle a different kind of band. They are, in the purest sense, all about the music.

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• STAFF WRITER

Leslie Feist, member of Broken Social Scene, has made a name for herself that has surpassed that of the Montreal supergroup. The Reminder, her third solo album and major label debut, will only take her monosyllabic self to new depths of popularity. Released this past Tuesday, her new record serves not as a reminder but a proclamation that Leslie Feist is the best contemporary female artist and even, arguably and androgynously, the best artist of recent memory. With a diverse sound, great songwriting and an always breathtaking voice, Feist has put out one of the best records of 2007 thus far.

Whether it is the coffee shop-ready opener “So Sorry” or the raucous hand-clapper “Sea Lion Woman,” each song exhibits a surprising sonic depth. This depth is what makes the record so great because it doesn’t rely on the amazing vocals of the artist. If the whole album consisted only of Feist’s voice and a piano, it would still be engaging and beautiful to listen to, but the instrumentation and arrangement makes Feist’s music so much more than the voice that is singing it.

The vibraphone and upright bass in “The Water” and the brilliant integration of strings and subtle banjo in “1 2 3 4” are just examples of the effort that was put in this record to come up with a diverse and unique sound. The various hand claps and finger snaps found through out the record also adds to a decisive Feist sound; a sound that feels both natural and authentic while still being pop-a-licious.

Strangely different than her breakout record Let It Die, Feist’s new direction is greatly welcomed.

Her previous release was great, but The Reminder swims out into new waters. Stepping out of adult contemporary and reaching out to rock and folk, Feist’s talents are hard to ignore. This will be the record that will slowly move from iPod to iPod all summer.

Grade: A

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TUNES N’ TALK: CAITLIN CREMER • STAFF WRITER

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A Concert Review and Interview with OK Go Wait! Don’t leave yet. Below is my little interview with Tim Nordwind. He likes giraffes.

S

Buy any guitar at list price and get a second one (of equal or lesser value) for th

1¢

Saturday, May 5

Good at both store locations!

71 East University 202 West Main Champaign Urbana 217-352-1477 217-367-3898 See website for details www.corsonmusic.com

www.radstavern.com (217) 485-3531

FRIDAY, MAY 4th “BLUES & BBQ” LIVE BLUES... great BBQ cooked over charcoal... cold brew!!

Featuring Zack Lacrone (solo blues) 6pm.

Candy Foster & The Shades of Blue 9m.

SATURDAY, MAY 5th

Cinco De Mayo PARTY! Featuring The Schwag

A tribute to the

“GRATEFUL DEAD”

Great Mexican food and beer on special!! Party goes on all day... the show starts at 9pm

COMING SOON:

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PHOTO COURTESY OF MYSPACE.COM/OKGO

A few months ago, my best f r iend told me some great news: OK Go, perhaps my favorite contemporary band, was coming to Champaign-Urbana. Better yet, I was hooked up to their publicist who set me up with an interview with Tim Nordwind, their bassist with the funky glasses. With these two things — seeing OK Go live and actually talking to them — crossed off my list of things to do before I die, my life is a few steps closer to being complete.creat ed or yoStar On Thursday, April f26, u byCourse hosted OK Go with special guests The Living Blue at Foellinger Auditorium, complete with dancing, jumping and free tambourines. After The Living Blue played their opening, my path was set: a clear line to the front and center of the stage. I creitatany wouldn’t have way. Quickly, other ivewother orker people caught on and the aisles were infested but united with OK Go lovers, dancers (like me), admirers and rockers.

The show began with “The House Wins.” The opening piano played along with the flicking vintage wallpaper motifs in the background, while the stage was black. Their silhouettes calmly jammed as the song continued, and my anticipation grew as I wanted nothing more for the lights to flash on them so I could see their lovely faces.

My wish was granted in the next song, “Television, Television,” — talk about looking at the hottie in the tight jeans. Anyway, they cemented the band-crowd relationship during this song with their extra energy and dance/ rock-able music. Of course, I had already started rocking out at this point despite the not-much-

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room-to-move-let-alone-dance syndrome of the front of the stage, but hey, whatever, I made room. Their beat is too infectious to ignore or avoid in my every movement.

By the completion of “Don’t Ask Me” and the introductions from lead singer/guitarist Damian, the crowd was already intoxicated by the punch of the guitar and the entirety of the band’s musicianship. Taking the time to talk to the crowd is always a plus and should be mandator y for any “good” concert, but actually getting off the stage and swaggering through the audience is an entirely different stor y. Get t i ng dow n a nd pl ay i ng i n t he ver y spot I had stood three seconds before to play an acoust ic set is a lso an ent irely d i f fe r e nt s t or y — i n e pic pr op or t ion s .

The acoustic set was as bejeweled as their outf its, not to mention the f lashing lights that sparkled through the set surrounding them in a glittering atmosphere.

The crowd and band danced through numbers such as “A Good Idea at the Time,” “Invincible” and “Here it Goes Again.” The show ended with “Do What You Want,” accompanied by those big blow-up thingys that blow around and appear to dance with the music (you, know the balloons you see in front of car dealerships and at downtown festivals). It was great.

A l l in a l l, the band was having fun — therefore, we had fun — and they delivered their music to the hungry crowd with a clever “gonna-make-you-dance” kind of feel. Their pop-rock songs are catchy with lyrics that our finals week, brain-dead minds don’t have to contemplate to be able to fully enjoy.

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buzz: What is your long-range objective?

Tim Norwind (Bassist for OK Go): Long career, making songs ... I think that’s the reason we go into this in the first place. Music videos, art in general, I just enjoy making things and making a living being creative. buzz: Are you a team player?

Tim: Yeah, I think I’m an especially good team player. I don’t know why. I just prefer to do things with the people around here than by myself — it’s more fun that way. You have to be (a team player) to be in a band. buzz: Why should I hire you?

Tim: Because I have a Grammy? buzz: Ha, sorry just seemed to be an appropriate next question. Your band appears to have a great dynamic. How would you say that factors into your performances?

Tim: I think it makes it a big party when we play, and it’s hard to do if one of us doesn’t want to do something. That way, when we get up on stage it’s a party every night. buzz: How do you prep before a show?

Anything unusual, normal, unspeakable?

Tim: Nothing unspeakable, we really don’t have any backstage tradition. We warm up, which is pretty boring and annoying to anyone in earshot. Other than that, the four of us try to get together 10-15 minutes before the show to get a feel of our energy that night. buzz: How do you pa r t y/celebrate afterwards?

Tim: We’ve been on tour now for about two years now, so these days when we get offstage, there (isn’t) any partying in it. It’s more us trying to survive — we’re usually pretty mellow after we play, except for Chicago or L.A., where we have friends to hang out with. But mostly, it’s all about survival. buzz: I see you have your own fan site. So let me just ask, who is T-rex to you?

Tim: T-rex is the best band on the planet. If you ever ask what I’m listening to, you know I’m listening to T-rex. I always recommend T-rex as the best rock band. buzz: Favorite song to play?

Tim: “A Good Idea At The Time.” It’s got a good groove and always gets a good crowd reaction. I got a lot of good steps to that, too. buzz: Favorite song to dance to?

Tim: “Young Folks” by Swedish band Peter, Bjorn and John. They’re the Outkast song, “Hey Ya,” of indie rock. buzz: Favorite jungle animal?

Tim: Giraffe. They’re mellow. They just a chill animal. They seem like they’re happy and don’t hurt anyone. Peaceful. sounds from the scene

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PEAS.

11

cu sound revue MIKE INGRAM

Bar Louie VP: No more shows!

Marky Ramone: Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s DJ time!

Those of you who had gotten used to the idea that you could go to Bar Louie and see live music are just going to have to get un-used to it. Several shows a lready booked we r e c a n c e l e d â&#x20AC;&#x201D; ever y one through the summer, in fact â&#x20AC;&#x201D; after a decision by the company Vice President. Local managers who had been given the go-ahead to book more shows were left with the unfortunate task of calling things off. This left many local bands hanging, some finding out just days before scheduled gigs. Fans showed up for a night of music to find nothing. Awesome move, company VP! Moving on to places that will actually have shows this week: Murphâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got the beer garden going strong again this year over at Mike â&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. Tonight you can catch an early show (7 p.m.) with Terminus Victor, Tractor Kings and Water Between Continents. Cover is listed as TBA, but letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guess itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s $5. For $5 you can sit outside and enjoy the nice weather, smoke right where youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re sitting and watch three excellent bands. Good work, Murph.

At 9 p.m., the Highdive will kick off a DJ set from Marky Ramone. I assure you, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a real Ramone. He wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t there at the beginning, but he was in there as the drummer for a lot of the good stuff (1978-1983, and 1987-1996, baby). The show is only $6, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got to imagine that the guy will be spinning some pretty cool stuff.

Over at Cowboy Monkey, the beer garden is also going strong. And while the shows there donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t actually happen right there in the beer garden, you can still hear whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going on inside. Tonightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show would be worth the listen. Treologic, a Chicago band that has made quite a splash here in CU, will share the stage with Animate Objects. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always nice to see full bands in the hip-hop vein, and tonight you can catch two. 10 p.m., $5.

Friday night is also action-packed, with my favorite show award going to the Iron Post, where The Beauty Shop will make an appearance with new bass player Eric Fisher (formerly Cousin Kickass of Lorenzo Goetz). Arrah and the Ferns are also on the bill, making the trip over from Muncie, Ind. The Ferns have been touring the country, and recently made a stop in CU to play with elsinore. Their quirky brand of indie pop will fit right in with The Beauty Shop, Scurvine and The Duke of Uke. The show is $5 (which jumps to $7 after 10 p.m.), with a $2 sounds from the scene

minimum at the bar. You do the math â&#x20AC;&#x201D; I have no idea. 9 p.m. start.

OPENSOURCE Art will receive a hand from some local acts as a benefit is planned for Friday night â&#x20AC;&#x201D; though someone submitted two shows in two locations with the same bands at the same time to openingbands.com, so who really knows what is happening. One thing is for sure, and that is that OPENSOURCE Art, at 12 E. Washington in Champaign, is worth checking out. And if you decide to check it out at 7 p.m. on Friday, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re likely to catch some music from Mitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n, the Lix, Kang Drum and members of Dress Code. There is a $5 suggested donation.

Check out some art and listen to some music.

Elsewhere on Friday, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got perennial â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s cover band The Brat Pack rocking the Highdive (9:30 p.m., $6), while Cowboy Monkey offers another shot to catch the Tossers, this time with JigGsaw opening (10 p.m., $10). And no, guy, standing at the front of the stage and screaming the name of some obscure Irish tune is not the best way to get a request in.

The Red Herring will turn another year older this week, and to celebrate, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a pretty awesome show happening on Saturday. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got 10 bands going over 10 hours on two floors, kicking off at 4 p.m. You can pay $5 to see bands on one floor, or cough up $8 to catch the shows on both (the smart plan). The early acoustic show will happen upstairs in the chapel during the afternoon, which will be followed by the downstairs show at 8 p.m. There will be food, drinks, games and even some raffles. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a cool way to spend the evening while supporting a great space. Plus, the bands are good. New Ruins (I hear a certain band of modesty loves their new disc), Zmick, Triple Whip, Blanketarms, The Duke of Uke, Mondoro, Big Grove Zydeco, Corn Desert Ramblers and Santa (apparently pulling doubleduty on the day) are scheduled to play.

Santa (one of the few bands lucky enough to be chosen to play this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Summer Camp festival) will carry their stuff down the block after the Red Herring show and play â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Last Party on Earth.â&#x20AC;? Tickets are $7 and the show starts at 7 p.m. Other bands announced: Watery Domestic, Roses and Sake, Hotter Than June and more!

And since Saturday is Cinco De Mayo, we must recognize the excellence of DJ Bris and DJ Delayney, as they will be spinning some hotness at Cowboy Monkey. (9 p.m., $5).

The rest of the week: Adam Wolfe plays marathon of shows at Potbellyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s! Nashville Pussy plays Cowboy Monkey on Monday; makes some girls uncomfortable just having to see the name in print! Nate Jones accepts the role of James Brown in a new biopic!

Save lives.

Earn money.

Feel good. & (SFFO 4U Address $IBNQBJHO *- City, State, ZIP Code Phone Number

www.plasmasaveslives.com

Mike Ingram can be reached at forgottenwords@ gmail.com. Give it a try.

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A.

CONCERT REVIEW: BILLY JOEL

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album REVIEW MEGHAN WHALEN • COPY CHIEF

VARIOUS ARTISTS No Rights Reserved [GREEN STREET RECORDS] ROSALIND WALTERS • STAFF WRITER

PHOTO COURTESY OF EWOLF.COM

April 23 at the Sears Centre Arena in Hoffman Estates, Ill.

Back in February, when I found out that Billy Joel was going on tour and was coming to Chicago, my boyfriend and I decided to keep vigil by the Sears Centre Web site until the exact moment tickets went on sale. “Get them! Get them!,” I said to my boyfriend as he frantically clicked the mouse. “Now! NOW!” Our vigilanteism paid off, and this past week, we were treated to a fabulous show by a stillfabulous performer.

He opened the show with “Angry Young Man,” then went onto “My Life” (one of my favorites) and “Everybody Loves You Now.” He interacted with the crowd the whole time, telling a few bad jokes along the way (“I’m getting less hair now, but getting more head”) and making me scream like a 14-year-old at a Backstreet Boys concert whenever he played a song I loved.

The fi rst half of the show was more chill than the second one, as he and his kickass backup band played some songs that weren’t mega-hits, such as “The Ballad of Billy the Kid” and “Root Beer Rag,” on which he proved that his skills on the piano are still as amazing as ever. But after “River of Dreams,” he announced that one of his roadies was going to sing a little song about spirituality. Confused, we all sat down, and then

the roadie, with Billy on guitar, got onstage and belted AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” — an unexpected moment that got the crowd on their feet for the rest of the show.

This brings me to my only beef with the concert. With Billy Joel pushing 58, as he told us between songs, my boyfriend and I were among the younger fans at the show, and we wanted to stand up the whole time and loudly sing along with every word to every song. At one point, we were the only people in our section standing up, and people around us looked fed up. I wanted to be like, “This is what us young whipper-snappers do at concerts!” But by the second half, the entire crowd had enough booze in them and was revved up enough to stand up until the end.

We sang along every word to “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” We held up our lighters and cell phones when Billy left the stage after “You May Be Right.” And when he came back to sing three more songs, everyone went crazy. He closed with “Piano Man,” and I must admit that it’s pretty damn cool to hear an arena full of people swaying back and forth, singing every lyric of the song. It was a perfect ending to the night. So, apart from the at-first-not-so-energetic crowd, the show was everything I could have asked for.

Get pumped and get rowdy, U of I! Green Street Records has released their newest compilation CD, No Rights Reserved.

This is a downright catchy CD. You don’t have to be into the local music scene to appreciate the home team’s collaboration. The label’s musical preferences vary enough to keep things exciting, but the solid rock genre doesn’t change between songs. Indie, alternative and classic hard rock are only a few of the fl avors.

Odd balls like Weapons of Mass DisFunktion’s “Wicked Cool” might remind you of airport music, but even with a strange song here and there, the CD flows together seamlessly, rather than schizophrenic. (Who is familiar with the NOW collection?) No Rights Reserved’s encore-worthy sound is a great introduction to ChampaignUrbana’s local bands with a great variety of high-quality sounds for new listeners. Santa puts it best in their song “Poles” when they say, “ ...

A thousand black pearls searching for dry land.”

Check it out. Grade: B+

DOORS: 6:30PM SHOW: 7:30PM

UVFTEBZ KVOF

GSJEBZ KVOF

UIVSTEBZ NBZ

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GOAT FACE KILLA.

THE NIGHTWATCHMAN

PAGE MCCONNELL

One Man Revolution

Self-Titled

[EPIC]

[LEGACY]

BONNIE STIERNBERG • STAFF WRITER

STEVE PLOCK • STAFF WRITER

A protest song is a delicate thing. It takes a true artist to inspire change while maintaining their musical credibility; to preach without sounding preachy. But the times, they are a-changin’, and as the war in Iraq rages on, now more than ever, we need a musician to step forward and vocalize our dissent.

Enter The Nightwatchman. The alter ego of Rage Against The Machine guitarist Tom Morello packs his new album One Man Revolution with protest songs and union anthems galore.

Most importantly, he does so while staying true to an acoustic musicality that perfectly supplements his angry lyrics.

In “House Gone Up In Flames,” one of the album’s best tracks, he growls, “It’s in the child’s first sin/It’s in the Constitution/Written in very small print/It’s in Colin Powell’s lies/It’s in the shaman’s trance/It’s in the cellar waiting/And it’s in the best laid plans.”

For the most part, Morello is able to produce songs that are both socially relevant and pleasant to listen to. Although the album features a few dirge-like tracks such as, “The Garden of Gethsemane” and “No One Left,” the majority of the songs are a great showcase for Morello’s impassioned baritone vocals.

“Flesh Shapes The Day,” one of Morello’s many odes to social justice, declares, “Now you might have heard different/But I know it’s a fact/ That Jesus, Mary, Joseph/And the Apostle Paul were black/Ten letters I am writing/Each one reads the same/Nine circles I am drawing/One around your name.” The song is one of Morello’s best vocal performances on the album, along with “The Road I Must Travel” and “Union Song,” a tribute to the labor movement.

Because the album consists entirely of acoustic protest songs, the Bob Dylan comparisons are inevitable, but it’s too early to tell whether The Nightwatchman will ever attain such cultural significance. However, as our generation gets more and more criticism for sitting passively and not taking a stand, it will be interesting to see if The Nightwatchman can turn his “one man revolution” into a multi-person uprising.

Grade: B+

Since the breakup of Phish in August of 2004, pianist, vocalist and overall charmer Page McConnell has possibly been the least active member in the post-Phish world. While the other members of Phish have remained musically active, it seemed as though McConnell had taken some time off after his 20-plus years on the road.

After having gone through the splitting of his band and a recent divorce, it’s understandable that McConnell needed some time to reflect, but like any good musician, he has taken those issues and turned them into inspiration for his first self-titled solo album. While most of the lyrical content on the album seems to focus around McConnell’s hard times, the music is by no means a melancholic venture. With his previous band members frequently contributing on the album, the music is well-jammed and sometimes has the feel of fusion era Herbie Hancock.

Although, Phish fans, beware: this is not a Phish album. While McConnell’s style has remained funky as ever, the jams on this album are not the typical tension-release jams we have come to know from Phish. Instead, these songs are all about McConnell and his ability to capture us with his heartfelt lyrics and his modest voice, and then take us for a ride with his synthladen, jazzy piano excursions. With every song featuring at least one other member of Phish, it’s those with bassist Mike Gordon that stand out the most. McConnell and Gordon’s tones and styles have always complemented each other well, and it’s still evident in songs like “Heavy Rotation,” in which McConnell’s heavy piano solo is grounded in Gordon’s thick bass groove, a sound that will have any fan reminiscing about the days of Phish. While they may never get back together, Phish’s sound hasn’t entirely died.

With Anastasio’s last album being a major flub, it’s a good thing we have Page to remind us of what we loved about Phish.

Grade: B+

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A QUICKIE WITH ... ZMICK

JOSH FISHER • STAFF WRITER

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Zmick just might be the band to dethrone Santa at the LMAs for Best Student Band next year. That is, of course, if one member’s graduation in May doesn’t disqualify them. Zmick’s flowing jams feature melodic guitar leads and percussive piano heavy parts.

After raging at Cowboy Monkey on April 26, Zmick plans to return to The Red Herring on Saturday, May 5, for the second time in about a month. buzz had a chance to talk with bassist Dan Wonsover.

Check it out: buzz: What keeps Zmick coming back to the Red Herring?

Dan Wonsover: We actually practice at the Red Herring quite often, so we’re used to the acoustics of the room. Also, the building as a whole encourages endeavors in the arts and alternative thinking, which is pretty cool. This show is going to end the semester with a bang.

We will play with several really talented bands, like Corn Desert Ramblers, Triple Whip and The Duke of Uke. buzz: What time do you guys take the stage on Saturday, May 5?

DW: We’re playing from midnight to when people stop dancing. We will probably end up playing till like four in the morning. We’ll play a lot of fun covers and dance tunes to keep the

energy level high throughout the night. We’re also encouraging people to wear costumes in celebration of Cinco de Mayo. buzz: What is the band’s favorite local venue to play?

DW: The Canopy Club. The people there treat us so well. They’re like family to us. buzz: Are there any local bands or artists that have been an influence to Zmick?

DW: The Corn Desert Ramblers are real good buddies of ours. We love going to their shows, partying with them and playing with them (onstage and off ). They are definatley the best traditional bluegrass band in town, if not the world! buzz: How has the addition of a fiddle player affected your band?

DW: Well to begin, Dan Andree is an amazing musician and singer. From a compositional perspective, it adds a whole new element to lead harmonies as well as vocal harmonies. We write a lot of two-part piano/guitar harmonies that will now be three-part harmonies, hopefully adding a new dimension to the music. The more sounds we take in, the more paint we’ll have to create our own picture. We’re all very excited about writing and performing with “Dandree.” See you at Red Herring!

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the

hoopla

STORY AND ILLUSTRATION BY TATYANA SAFRONOVA • EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

I

cornered the 1,435-pound cow in its enclosure. It fl inched, staring at my plastic elf-like boots as I entered its straw-laden room. Christina Du, a fourth-year veterinary medicine student, tugged at a rubber stopper used to seal a plastic ring that maintains a sizeable hole on the side of the cow’s body. As Christina struggled with the plug, the cow stood still, wide-eyed, staring at the boots.

With the grip of pliers, the plug fi nally came out.

I watched fermenting food churn inside the cow’s stomach as if it was one giant mixer, and I felt inside its rumen with my hand with a plastic sleeve covering my arm up to the shoulder. The stomach compressed and expanded, releasing puffs of a foul smell reminiscent of sauerkraut. The cow, oblivious to the fascination people felt about her inner workings, didn’t move.

Brook is a 6-year-old research cow in the Large Animal Laboratory at the University. She was donated by the Brookfield Zoo where she was kept in the petting zoo. More calm than cows unaccustomed to the regular visits from people, Brook loves to be brushed and scratched and takes walks with her student caretakers twice each day (see sidebar). “Normally you wouldn’t be able to lead a cow unless you did it regularly,” Christina said. “She leads like a dog on a leash.”

Four weeks ago, Brook underwent an operation that created a round opening in her side that created a permanent wound, which is kept open with the plastic ring, or a cannula.

The rumen, constantly churning more than 100 pounds of food, is a factory of microbes located in the largest of Brook’s four stomach compartments (see diagram) working to ferment her food. Some of the innumerable microbes in her rumen can be extracted through the opening and given to sick animals like cows, lamas and sheep to increase their microbe counts and aid digestion.

When the opening heals in a couple of weeks, the temporary cannula will be replaced with a tighterfitting, permanent one so Brook will fi nally be able to do what few imagine when they think about cows — run around and kick up her heels. “She skips around like a dog out there, it’s gorgeous,” said Dr. Tessa Marshall, a visiting clinical assistant professor in veterinary medicine, who herself grew up on a dairy farm in New Zealand. “Most of the time you wouldn’t notice it,” she said about the cows she saw growing up, “but sometimes it was a nice day and you let them out onto nice fresh grass. They just get crazy.”

Like dogs, cows are able to recognize people and objects. They like to play and scratch, said Dr. Marshall, “They’re creatures of habit. They love to go to the milking parlor and things like that. ... They’re just big, giant dogs. They’ll lick you just like dogs will.”

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N8PJ KF >@M< C@=< KNF K?LD9J LG 61. Write your grandparents a letter — they’d love to hear

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

MATTHEW HOFFMAN • STAFF WRITER

from you.

64. Read trashy gossip magazines. (Do you know who Reese Witherspoon is dating?)

60. Catch up funny YouTube videos (The kitten falls into the toilet!).

63. Take an hour siesta between classes (I recommend Lincoln Hall’s couches).

59. Apply for a summer job. Bonus — send the details to your mom, she’ll be proud of your ambition.

62. Have a drink at every water fountain you pass. (Hydration!)

58. Compliment someone (Be genuine).

ILLUSTRATIONS BY NIKITA SOROKIN

57. Rate the songs on your iPod while you walk to class (U2 gets 4 stars!).

56. Figure out what you’re doing for Mother’s Day (It’s coming up on May 13).

55. Finish all six Harry Potter books so you can be ready for Number Seven (Only 79 days left).

54. Actually finish a news story, not just stopping when it jumps to the inside page.

53. When eating, sit by yourself and listen to the conversations of people around you (He has syphilis?).

5 2 .

Rent old TV shows from the undergrad and practice wiggling your nose like Samantha from Bewitched.

51. Plan a pretend summer cruise with your significant other.

50. Get up to watch the sun rise (for about 10 seconds) and then pass out again.

49. Con your friends into helping you move out in two weeks. (No, we’re totally going to watch a movie ... Could you put those shirts in this box while you look for the DVD?)

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48. My three favorite places to go on a sunny day are Wrigley Field, the beach or a beer garden. The first two aren’t possible in this town. So, because it’s the closest to my house, the Iron Post is the best beer garden around.

47. Get a group of friends together, send each one to a different restaurant on Green Street, and meet on the quad for a takeout picnic.

46. And drive over to Jarling’s Custard Cup for dessert.

45. The Putt Zone Fun Center on Prospect and Dennison has miniature golf, batting cages and one of those bouncy moonjumping things where you can play basketball.

44. Though not technically in CU, Allerton Park in Monticello is about the closest you can get to nature. Last time I went my friend Michelle totally wiped out into a giant mud puddle.

Good times.

43. Outdoor concerts are tough to beat, especially when seen in a beer garden. Mike ’n Molly’s might be the best one for that.

42. Towards the end of summer, the Urbana beer and chili festival is a day of heavenly gluttony (notice any reocurring themes?).

41. Go to Meadowbrook Park on Windsor and Race for rollerblading trails, sculpture and this rectangular retention pond that, when dry, is a great place to lay out and read.

40. Tailgating! BBQ, bags, frisbee ... why wait for football season?

39. Though it’s a bit of a drive, skydiving with the Falling Illini is a blast. In fact, that’s where I’m headed right now ...

38. Softball. It’s nearly impossible to find a 16” ball south of Chicago, but it’s fun, easy and you don’t even need a glove.

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WHATEVER THE QUESTION IS, LIQUOR IS THE ANSWER.

19

26. Climb a tree and heckle people passing by. Warning: others may not appreciate your behavior despite how amusing it is to you.

25. Fly a kite on the quad, in the park — wherever you see fit.

24. Instead of hitting the gym, jog outside.

23. Instead of just chalking the quad, expand your horizons and chalk the campus.

22. Make the largest human pyramid you could possibly make.

21. If you’ve got a grill, barbeque outside. If you don’t, make a friend with a grill.

20. Make a lemonade stand in an area with heavy foot traffic like the quad.

19. Sit outside your favor ite restaurant w it h outdoor seat i ng a nd people watch.

You’ll be surprised at how entertaining it is.

The creepy feeling should go away shortly.

18. Play super-hide-and-seek, using the whole campus as fair game.

17. Organize a massive water balloon fight.

SCOTT FRANKEL • STAFF WRITER

37. Day drinking outside somewhere, because it would be an insult to nature not to drink outside on a nice day.

36. Dining al fresco. Cowboy Monkey is the best spot for

16. Fry an egg on the pavement.

15. Launch water balloons at male tanners (leave the females alone).

that.

14. Set up a lemonade stand at a random place.

35. Complain to your friends about why you didn’t go to school where the weather was nicer than ours every day.

34. Borrow a puppy, sit outside and use it to meet girls (or guys, you know, depending on what you like).

33. Actually, what this town needs is a traveling carnival ...

13. Streak the Quad.

12. Sit at a MTD bus stop dressed as Forrest Gump.

11. Ditch class.

10. Set up a Slip ’n Slide in front of Lincoln Hall (remove all rocks, though).

9. Count the number of people who get hit by bicycles.

SAMANTHA LEE • STAFF WRITER

32. Take a walk around the university’s arboretum; breathe in some pure oxygen.

31. In between classes or while studying, lay a blanket on the quad with some friends and have a picnic.

30. Get a kiddie pool and just chill out in it all day.

29. Visit the (Meadowbrook) playground in Urbana and get in

8. Put a carton of milk in your friend’s backpack.

7. Wear water floaties to class.

6. When that really chirpy classmate asks, “Oh ... my ... god, isn’t this weather just gorgeous?!” say “No.”

5. Distribute popsicles to test-takers during fi nals’ week.

4. Intercept peoples’ Frisbees.

touch with your inner child.

3. Plant a tomato garden in the middle of the Quad.

28. Put up a hammock between trees, and if you’re on the Quad you can take a nap on the hammock instead of in the Union.

2. Dress up as Nintendo characters, rent shopping carts, buy bananas and red dodgeballs and play live Mario Kart on Green Street.

27. See #17, but use paint instead.

1. Walk around with a surf board asking people where the beach is.

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ALCOHOL AND CALCULUS DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T MIX. NEVER DRINK AND DERIVE.

THE DIARIES

Report

JEFF GROSS â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

Ebertfest isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just a movie festival; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an experience. How often do you get to seen a fully restored, cinescope (2.35:1) screening of La Dolce Vita on the silver screen? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a magical, engaging experience which, courtesy of a Victorian-style theater, sends you back a few decades for a classic viewing of a classic f ilm. Over the past nine

years, great films such as 2001: A Space Odyssey, Singing in the Rain and Metropolis have headlined the festivals. This year, I had the wonderful opportunity to participate in the screening of La Dolce Vita (by working one of the cameras filming the Q&A panel). Unfortunately, Mr. Ebert was resting back at the hotel during this screening, but that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean he wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t there in spirit â&#x20AC;&#x201D; in the name of continuing his cherished festival, Roger made his first public appearance this week since going into surgery last June. That says a lot about his character and what both this town and film mean to him.

La Dolce Vita is about a tabloid journalist who aspires to be a real writer (heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s allegedly working on his own book) and his journey through women, work, family and friends.

Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a smooth, depressive figure who is always alone, even when heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s with other people. Italian

UI "OOVBM

40 North | 88 West - Champaign Countyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Arts, Culture & Entertainment Council says

5IBOL ZPV

LATE NIGHT spACE SPONSOR

illiniMEDIA Sponsors JSM Development The News-Gazette Noodles & Company Restaurant University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Urbana Business Association / City of Urbana WILL AM/FM/TV

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actor Marcello Mastroianni delivers one of his best performances as the portrait of a lost man pretending to have it all.

As a f ilm, La Dolce Vita is a mar vel of cinematography, sound and acting. It is rich with deep social and spiritual motifs that both criticize and humanize the tabloid media. The gorgeous lighting and cinematography of La Dolce Vita have led Ebert to describe the film as â&#x20AC;&#x153;the most colorful black-and-white film ever made.â&#x20AC;?

Nominated for four Academy Awards, La Dolce Vita is definitely the best film you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see this weekend. I highly suggest you rent it; thumbs up.

Another gem of Ebertfest this year was an extended cut of the 2000 documentary Freddie Mercury: The Untold Story. The rockumentary extensively details the early life and rise of Farrokh Bulsara, aka â&#x20AC;&#x153;Freddie Mercury.â&#x20AC;? The film lovingly follows Mercuryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s birth to death, his friends and family creating the story of a man stunningly unfazed by fame, glamour and excess â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a genuine individual. The movie is a must see for Queen fans.

Ebertfest www.40north.org

TITLE SPONSOR

Contributors Adams Outdoor Advertising Barr Real Estate Blager Concrete Cinema Gallery Eastland Suites First Federal Savings Bank of Champaign-Urbana Heartland Gallery Historic Lincoln Hotel Knox-Array Event Production Martin, Hood, Friese & Associates, LLC Project Te Single (Stereo) Creative SUPERVALU University of Illinois Department of Dance UpClose Marketing & Printing WEFT 90.1FM

With additional support from: Champaign County Convention and Visitors Bureau   â&#x20AC;˘   Illinois  Arts  Council   â&#x20AC;˘   Barď&#x20AC;&#x201A;ďŹ&#x201A;y City of Champaign â&#x20AC;˘ CUMTD Deanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Graphics Division â&#x20AC;˘ Herriotts Schnucks â&#x20AC;˘ Habitat for Humanity ReStore

Special thanks to: 40 North Board of Directors Planning Committee, Crew, Volunteers and Jurors Featured Artist Burcu Okay Dr. William Youngerman Participating Artists and Venues

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Sentences KATHRYN DEVINE

â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

Wednesday, April 25 Ebertfest begins! The first movie to be shown was Gattaca. I have seen it before, but decided to go anyway and check out all the commotion surrounding a â&#x20AC;&#x153;premiere.â&#x20AC;? I got a great seat, right up front, and was able to catch a glimpse of Ebert. He couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t speak (due to operation on his throat from thyroid cancer) but made the trek out to Champaign anyway. The film itself was different than I had remembered it.

Since I understood it more, it took on a different meaning. The Q&A afterwards definitely helped clear things up.

Thursday, April 26 I had heard a lot about the movie Perfume: The Story of A Murderer before going to see it. Mostly, I heard how horrific it was. In his review, even Ebert said he did not know why

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he liked it, but he did. I was astounded by the directorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s abilities, the amazing acting and the overall message, but disturbed at how they arrived at said message. Alan Rickman, a star from the movie (a.k.a. Professor Snape), was there; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funny to see how fascinated some people are by celebrities.

Friday, April 27 I learned that La Dolce Vita, the iconic Italian movie from 1960 that talked about â&#x20AC;&#x153;sin, sex and religionâ&#x20AC;? was very controversial for its time. It was considered an â&#x20AC;&#x153;overlookedâ&#x20AC;? film because it has escaped the consciousness of young society.

However, I could not help but be captivated by it. What applied back then to this movie applies to all of us now: we are all lost and constantly searching different outlets for happiness. See this movie and you will understand what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m talking about.

Ode to Ebert RANDY MA â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

Upon arrival to the Virginia Theatre, numerous spectators snaked around the auditorium with an anxious demeanor. I was sure that they had purchased their all-event festival passes five months prior, clearing out their schedule for the entire week. I empathized with their zeal, and quickly made my way towards the back of the stage â&#x20AC;&#x201D; there was work to be done.

Underneath the silver screen, I noticed the technical setup had changed. No longer did the Illini Film & Video crew station themselves under the stage; they had acquired a small room, secluding themselves from the orchestral musicians who nervously and methodically tuned their instruments. My position the first night was at cameras one and two, which were located at the very back of the theater.

I made the trek as the theater organist played in the distance. As I positioned the framing for that nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s speaker, I noticed a La-Z-Boy couch near my left. No sooner than I turned my head did I see Roger Ebert sitting anxiously in his recliner as his wife, Chaz Ebert, took on the hosting duties this year. His expression remained immobile due to surgery. It was then that I realized he had become a native; an audience member, finally able to enjoy the festival experience as he intended it be â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a spectator. I too, waited for house lights to go down as the pit orchestra was cued to begin the film, Sadie Thompson, a 1928 rare experience which brought the historic atmosphere of silent film to Central Illinois. Finally, I sat down and surrendered: the show had begun. sounds from the scene

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he temporary exhibit area of the Spurlock Museum will be tied up for the next four months as patrons weave their way through over 200,000 years of history. Why Knot? showcases the manipulation of f ibers by skilled craftspeople throughout human history, and illustrates how these crafts, such as weaving, knitting and braiding, have shaped cultures around the world.

Seemingly insignificant and often taken for granted, these â&#x20AC;&#x153;knotsâ&#x20AC;? really do hold our world together. The ability to work with fibers has served a wide array of purposes in all cultures, from extravagant ornamentation to basic survival. Historically, these techniques were used by people to manufacture their own clothes, but the practice was mostly lost after industrialization. The craft revival of the 1960s brought new life to many of these talents (including knitting, crocheting and macramĂŠ) and today their popularity is ever-increasing, especially among celebrities.

The Spurlockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ability to create an exhibit such as this one is impressive. They continue to pull together noteworthy displays despite limited space and resources. This one does run a bit text heavy; each display is accompanied by a four or five paragraph explanation, which gets a bit tiring to read about halfway through. To balance this out, however, the museum has included a great hands-on section. You can try on a 16th century English ruff (think Shakespeareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s big poofy collar), handle authentic chain mail or even try your own hand at braiding and weaving, and you can take home pretty much anything you make. While most of the Spurlock is strictly glass-case, this exhibit is fairly kid-friendly. The temporary exhibits are often a draw for local home school groups as a field trip, and Why Knot? suits this purpose well.

I encourage you to stop by the Spurlock before school is out and see all that Why Knot? has to offer. Some of the lace displays are so ornate that Victorian-era nobles used to mortgage their houses just to afford their lavish lace accessories. A local lace maker commented that today it still takes about an hour to manufacture an inch of even the simplest lace pattern by hand. One of the most impressive braid displays was created using hundreds of feet of human hair. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth a walk-through. Admission is free, and the museum is open Tuesday through Sunday. Whether youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re already a crafts connoisseur or not, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never look at your grandmotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s afghan the same way again.

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The Why Knot? exhibit will be at the Spurlock Museum until Aug. 26. For more information call 333-2360 or visit www.spurlock.uiuc.edu.

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MOVIE REVIEWS

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Nicolas Cage’s eyes seem to have more than 20/20 vision when he is able to see the future in “Next.” PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.ROTTENTOMATOES.COM.

For 25 years, the stardom and praise of Nicolas Cage has been one of Hollywood’s biggest enigmas. A longtime favorite of Roger Ebert and an Oscar winner for Leaving Las Vegas, the usually overripe Cage is the poster child for Hollywood nepotism, thanks in part to uncle Francis Coppola. Now as producer and star, Cage finances mindless action-packed/special effects vehicles like Next, a loose and idiotic adaptation of Phillip K. Dick’s short story.

Un like the thoughtful adaptations of Dick ’s works which have cu lt fol low i ng s, l i ke R id ley Scot t’s Blade Runner or Steven Spielberg’s Minority Report, director Lee Tamahori and three screenwriters take out all the futuristic elements and tell a contemporar y tale of Cris Johnson, a small-time Las Vegas magician and clairvoyant who can tell future events only two minutes into the future. After stopping a casino holdup and shooting, Johnson is recruited by federal agents to stop a terrorist atomic bomb attack on Los Angeles.

Like many time-alteration stories this film has an interesting premise which mostly focuses on a paradox — if one knows the future and can successfully alter it, what else changes with it? Shot in the breathlessly paced flashy style of Jerry Bruckheimer productions and mimicking Fox’s 24, Cage’s Johnson leads a chase against time while falling in love with a mysterious woman who somehow extends the time of his future predictions, allowing him the chance to save L.A. from annihilation.

Tamahori’s many narrative twists and surprise turns jerk the audience’s expectations to numerous shocking disappointments.

Cage’s monotonous and passionless performance is so infectious, costars Julianne Moore and Jessica Biel come off as mere one-dimensional female counterparts. Moore is the standard tough agent and Biel, the to-die-for cute love interest. Even the 80-year-old Peter Falk’s cameo is wasted on this film that deserves to be released on DVD before this review receives publication.

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A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS--BUT IT USES UP A THOUSAND TIMES THE MEMORY.

THE INVISIBLE

23

Margarita Levieva plays Annie Newton, the only one who seems to be able to solve the “murder” of Justin Chatwin (Nick Powell). PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.ROTTENTOMATOES.COM.

JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

This movie is a true box-off ice sleeper. By that, I mean, you will fall asleep if you try and watch this movie — it sucks. When a movie’s “star-powered” billing consists of “from the producer who brought you The Sixth Sense,” a little bell should ring in your head that says “Hey, wait a minute ...” If that’s not enough to make you think twice about not seeing this movie, it wasn’t screened for critics either.

Still not convinced to spend your time more constr uctively? It also had its release date postponed twice. I wonder why they’d do that unless it, you know, it sucked.

The best three words I can use to describe this movie are (in order): cliché, pointless and lame — it’s even got the obligatory high angle shot of the main character with his arms stretched out in the rain, courtesy of Shawshank. However, that’s not the worst part of the movie. That distinction goes to the cheap, overdramatic score.

The movie is about some stupid, obnoxious teenager who is that “perfect, everyone likes him guy” in ever y movie who, in real life, doesn’t actually exist. He is then murdered (more accurately, he’s slowly dying in some hole), but because no one knows that he’s there, he becomes some lame, quasi-ghost-thingy that roams his home town, convincing people to help him so that he won’t die. Blah blah blah, don’t care.

I have some career advice for Mick Davis, the writer of this crapfest. The next time you plan on writing a crappy Twilight Zone-esque movie, ask yourself the following question: Would Rod Sterling reject this idea? Seriously, though, I think this movie gave me cancer.

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DON’T KNOCK MASTERBATION, IT’S SEX WITH SOMEONE I LOVE.

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watch for special editions of the DI • watch for special editions of the DI • watch for special editions of the DI

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25

the stinger

kim rice & ross wantland DOIN’ IT WELL

STRETCH YOUR MIND BEFORE YOUR BALLS:

ILLUSTRATION BY RENEE OKUMURA

ERECTILE DIFFICULTIES AND COCK RING WONDERS

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE 2 Philippine meat dishes 3 Italian headquarters of Maserati 4 Dial-up alternative 5 Season opposite “hiver” 6 Wallpaper goo 7 Sleight of hand 8 Ireland’s best-selling solo artist 9 Robert Burns, for one 10 Feng ___ 11 Guaranteed 12 Sucky concert attendance 13 Punch a bunch 18 Cozy vacation getaway 22 Helgenberger of “CSI” 24 60, in binary 25 Kid’s shoe fastener 27 Ballgame ender 28 “Drinks are ___” 30 Instrument in 1980s pop music 31 Show Bob Barker is retiring from, for short 32 Inhabitant of ancient Crete 33 Native Alaskans 35 Internet writing system that popularized “pwn3d” and “n00b” 36 Event plan, for short Teenager” (Red Hot Chili 45 Porthos and Aramis’s “The Final Kurtin’”-37 “___ Silver, away!”

Peppers song) buddy I Vonnegut serious this 38 Weather, with “the” 21 English break 48 “___ arigato, Mr. week and remember a 42 Some Pontiac models 23 Be crafty Roboto...” literary giant.

26 Revolver’s hiding place 49 Those little cards that fall 43 Eighth Greek letter

by Matt Jones 46 Speechifies in “Foxy Brown” out of magazines, e.g.

47 Run cold?

29 Hawkins of dances 51 Thinks highly of 49 First-generation 30 Beatified monk who 56 Poi base Across Japanese-American shares his name with a 57 Buddhism branch 1 On the ___ (fleeing) 50 In a way “Robin Hood” character 59 See 17-across 4 Bring down 52 Government agent, 34 Main character of 62 Addams Family cousin 11 Initials for a dirty guy? slangily “Slaughterhouse-Five” 63 How ballet dancers move 14 “Deep Space Nine” 53 Therefore 36 “___ Blinded Me With 64 Corrode security chief 54 PG&E opponent Science” 65 Windows may open on 15 Like some political Brockovich 39 Freezing material that them supporters 55 Gangster’s girl figures in Vonnegut’s 66 Insurance category 16 Game with a 108-card 57 Jack squat “Cat’s Cradle” for cars, boats, fire deck 58 “And so forth” 40 Dir. opposite WSW damage, etc.

17 With 59-across, 1965 67 Voodoo Glow Skulls genre 60 Toymaker up north Vonnegut novel subtitled 41 Science fiction author 61 ___ River Memorandum who appears in many of “Pearls Before Swine” (Israeli-Palestinian Vonnegut’s works Down 19 Tyrannosaurus follower negotiation) 44 Fang, really 1 Sudoku solving skill 20 “Why Must ___

Answers on pg. 26

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Dear Doin’ It Well: I was reading a reply to someone asking about cock rings. I have a question about them …

I was born with K linefelter’s Syndrome, and while I’m lucky enough to have a good sex drive, I do notice as I age things in the erection dept. are starting to wane. I have an average size penis, but my balls are, well, the size of a hummingbird’s eg gs, and my scrotum is ver y small as well.

Most cock rings do not work; there are no balls to grab a hold of for the rings. I was wondering if there are any cock rings that will just go over the base of the shaft of the cock and work just as well? Do they make rings that small or am I looking for the wrong-named product?

Me and my gal were at an adult store and a store clerk heard my problem and said that possibly if I start to do ball/scrotum stretching, a cock ring would have something to hold onto. Though he said the process was long and at times painful.

So here I am looking for advice, can’t really go and ask most folks this, as it’s quite humiliating.

Dear reader, Thanks for the awesome question! For readers who do not know, Klinefelter’s is a genetic condition in which a baby boy is born with an extra X chromosome, so instead of the XY conf iguration, he has XXY. About 1 in 500 to 1 in 1,000 babies are born with an extra X chromosome, although most people do not realize they have this condition, as it does not necessarily present any noticeable “symptoms.”

But some people with Klinefelter’s do experience smaller penis or scrotum size, less facial and body hair or overdeveloped breasts.

To answer your question: Yes, cock rings can be worn around the base of the penis only, and there are rings that are adjustable to fit snuggly around the shaft. One style cock ring is a cyberskin “tube” that you can simply stretch and “tie” around your penis, tucking or trimming the remainder of the tubing to get the desired fit. Another variety is a silicone or rubber cock ring that is adjustable. Again, this can be worn on the penis only, and can be pulled tight.

GETTING CRAFTY Leather cock rings have snaps to allow users to adjust the size. If you want it tighter than the snaps will allow, simply head to a craft store, buy some snaps and superglue, to add additional snaps to the leather! While we’re on the topic of do-it-yourself cock rings, here’s a bit of advice: if making a cock ring at home, make sure the material is at least a half of an inch in width.

Smaller strings, rubber, etc., can cause damage to the skin and the capillaries of the penis or

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may cut into the skin! Save yourself the pain; buy a cock ring that can be adjusted to meet your needs.

ERECTILE DIFFICULTIES Sometimes folks use cock rings and other devices as a way to address erectile difficulties.

Keep in mind, the erection problems you mention may or may not have anything to do with Klinefelter’s. There may be other reasons — and therefore other solutions — for erectile problems.

Sometimes lower testosterone production may impact erections; talk with your doctor to explore if testosterone replacement is something that might be an option.

Of course, lots of other things could be causing the erection problems, and you mentioned that you have noticed this as you age. It may be helpful to think about whether this has started to happen recently or has been on-going. If you experience erection difficulties during masturbation or if erections are more difficult to get and maintain in some situations but not others. Paying attention to when, where and with whom these difficulties surface can help you see patterns and seek solutions.

Problems with erections can be hormonal, physical, emotional, interpersonal or a combination of all these dimensions. Sometimes it can be difficult to tease out all the contributing factors.

You may want to ask your doctor about a referral to someone who specializes in sexual difficulties who can suggest alternative ways to address erection problems before you attempt the long, painful process of stretching your scrotal sack.

SEX 411 RESOURCES FOR ERECTILE DIFFICULTIES • University students: Talk to your primary care provider at McKinley, or make an appointment with Kim Rice, the sexual health educator.

• Birch Tree Counseling Center: 398-0744.

• Sex Therapist Tom Niebur (Bloomington, Ill.): 309-451-2910 • Metz & McCarthy: Coping with Erectile Dysfunction

Kim Rice and Ross Wantland are professionals in the field of sexuality and violence prevention. Email them your questions at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com.

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ON BISEXUALITY: IT IMMEDIATELY DOUBLES YOUR CHANCES FOR A DATE ON SATURDAY NIGHT.

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free will astrology MAY 03 — MAY 09 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

To manufacture one penny, the U.S. Treasury spends 1.4 cents. To process petroleum for use in operating a car, the oil industry expends 20 percent more energy than the gasoline yields. These are the kinds of situations you’ve urgently got to avoid in the coming week, Aries. You need to get substantially more out of any project than what you put into it. So choose your fuel wisely. Be resourceful in your push for greater efficiency.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

The outsourcing of fortune-telling is well underway. Psychics and astrologers from India have been showering me with email invitations to take advantage of their services. “By the grace of the towering flames of goodness that burn the roof of our temple,” said one, “we have pledged to slave away our lives to cause the happy encroachment of bubbling karma on your masterful head. We will coax and guide the effects of various planets on the living accidents of your health so as to ease your slippery ride.” I suspect you’ll soon get puzzling offers of help like this, Taurus. You may even be given gifts you can barely make sense of and receive blessings that seem irrelevant or unlike anything you imagined you needed. My advice: Don’t ignore them. They will ultimately turn out to be quite useful.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

If I were you, I’d pursue other adventures besides hanging from a cliff by my fingernails and sweating bullets. But if that kind of thing really gets you off and teaches you the lessons you think you need, I’ll give you my grudging astrological permission to continue--providing that you stop no later than May 20. But if you’d consider trying some less manic and more constructive ways to explore your heroic urges, I have a few suggestions. You could wrestle the angels who will only give you their gifts if you fight for them. You could break off relations with green-eyed monsters and yellowbellied soul-suckers. Or you could dive into the abyss and try to retrieve the treasure that got hurled down into the muck some time back.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

What is the holiest river in the world? Some might say the Ganges in India. Others would propose the Jordan River or the River Nile. But in accordance with current astrological omens, I say the holiest river is the one that’s closest to where you are right now. Your assignment is to go to that river and commune with it. Throw something valuable into it as an offering, and ask it to teach you how to feel more reverence and amazement and curiosity for everything in your life. By the time we meet here next week, I hope you will have walked on holy streets, praised holy people, hugged holy trees, kissed holy ground, and even shopped at holy stores.

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

In the game of bowling, a score of 300 is called a perfect game.

It used to be rare, but in the last two decades it has become far more common. The change is due more to technological advances in balls, pins, and lanes than because of a rise in players’ athleticism. Make this your metaphor of the week, Leo. How might you be able to upgrade your chances for success by getting better equipment? How could you get more value out of your existing skills by calling on the help of machines, props, and tools?

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

“The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place,” said Pablo Picasso, “from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing stranger, from a spider’s web.” Now substitute your own name for “the artist” in the above statement, Scorpio, and you’ll have your assignment for the coming week. In other words, be alert for and open to the feelings flooding toward you from every direction. Regard the whole world as a giant classroom where you’ll be taking a crash course to upgrade your emotional intelligence.

Many of us have a superficial notion of the nature of healing, writes Philip Kingsley in his book In the Dark Places of Wisdom.

We think that “healing is what makes us comfortable and eases the pain.” But the truth is, “what we want to be healed of is often what will heal us if we can stand the discomfort and the pain.” Make this your central theme for now, Sagittarius.

See if you can stave off your urge for ease as you marinate longer in the aching confusion. “If we really face our sadness,” says Kingsley, “we find it speaks with the voice of our deepest longing. And if we face it a little longer we find that it teaches us the way to attain what we long for.”

You’re growing almost too fast, Capricorn. You know almost too much and you’re almost too attractive. Furthermore, you’re on the verge of being ridiculously smart, absurdly popular, and outlandishly creative. To avoid having any of this spawn jealousy in others, you should probably go overboard in expressing humility--even if you have to fake it a little. Another step you could take to minimize any problems people might have with your amazing beauty is to be extravagantly generous in sharing your wealth.

The Chinese government has 100,000 spies checking up on the Internet habits of its 1.3 billion people. Meanwhile, 42 U.S. federal agencies are busy mining the personal data of Americans, and the Canadian government has bestowed law enforcement officials with sweeping powers to eavesdrop on its citizens. There is unfortunately next to nothing you can do about these invasions. You can, however, fight back effectively against another kind of thought police: the little voices in your head that love to monitor and judge your activities. It is now an excellent time to turn down the volume of the loud people from your past (and present!) whose expectations you have internalized.

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

Math-whiz Ian Fieggen has determined that there are 1.96 trillion ways to lace up your shoes. On his website, Ian’s Shoelace Site (tinyurl.com/5gh4p ), you can get instructions for 47 of those methods, as well as 17 different approaches for tying your shoes. You currently have a capacity for mastering detail that rivals Fieggen’s, Pisces. I just hope you use it to accomplish more useful and ennobling projects than his. Be a stickler with a higher purpose.

Homework: Take one of your favorite fantasies and add two elements that make it even more thrilling. Tell me about it by going to RealAstrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

“Have you heard of the ‘Nine Pregnant Women’ rule?” asks businessman Scott Mills. “It takes nine months to have a baby--but you can’t get the job done in one month with nine pregnant women. That rule applies to any project: As you think about managing the time that’s available to complete a project, it’s critical that you identify which steps you must complete sequentially.” I suggest you install the Nine Pregnant Women rule at the center of your meditations right now, Virgo. The time is right for you to gaze at the big picture of your life from on high, and then formulate a revised set of long-term plans.

Through a tip from one of my readers, I discovered that the California State Division of Unclaimed Property was holding $405.85 for me from a class action lawsuit settled 15 years ago. The agency had a very old address on file, and didn’t know how to get in touch with me. I contacted them, and am now a bit richer. I predict you will experience a comparable event in the coming week. It’s possible that like me, you’ll gain possession of a resource you didn’t even know has been yours. Or maybe you’ll inherit your great-uncle’s coin collection or be reunited with a dream you lost track of. In one way or another, Libra, I believe the past will give you a gift.

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THU. MAY 03 Live Bands Bands Terminus Victor, Reds, TBA, Mike & Molly’s 7:00 pm Terminus, Victor, Tractor Kings, Water between Continents Cover. Mike & Molly’s 7:00 p.m.

Caleb No cover., Rose Bowl Tavern 9:00 pm Navi, LevelD, Love and War, Robot’s and Marajo Funk Veterinarians without Borders Benefit. Cover. Canopy Club 9:00 pm Boneyard Jazz Quintet $3. Zorba’s Restaurant 9:30 pm Treologic Chicago style hip-hop, gospel and jazz, bridging the old school with the new. $5, Cowboy Monkey, 10:00 pm Acoustic Wednesday featuring Adam Wolfe Free event. Potbelly Sandwich Works 12:00 pm Concerts UI Jazz Band II An evening of jazz standards performed by one of the outstanding U of I jazz bands and conducted by one of America’s leading jazz trombonists. Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 7:30 pm Senior recital Hio Teng Wong playing piano. This concert is free. Smith Recital Hall 7:30 p.m.

DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Nothin’ but Rock. Silver Bullet Bar 8:00 pm Marky Ramone (from the Ramones) $6 cover. Highdive 9:00 pm DJ Hellcat Rock, power-pop, punk, mod, beat, garage, rockabilly, ska, reggae, new wave, old school hip-hop, soul, funk and all things retro. Mike ’n Molly’s 10:00 pm Limbs Hip-hop, breaks and party music.

Boltini Lounge 10:30 pm Dancing Free Swing Dance Come practice your moves at the Swing Society’s free swing dance every Thursday night. McKinley Church and Foundation 9:30 pm Karaoke Boneyard Karaoke Free. Memphis on Main 8:00 pm Karaoke Karaoke with Randy from RM Entertainment every Thursday at Fat City Saloon starting at 9 pm, all night long. Fat City Saloon 9:00 pm Liquid Courage Karaoke Come and enjoy karaoke every Thursday. The Office 10:00 pm Sporting events Women’s Softball (Double header) UI v. Bradley,Eichelberger Field 3:00 pm Workshops Dog Training-Basic Home Companion Skills Positively reinforce your dog’s behavior with the basic skills you will learn. Bring your dog to each class along with a 4-6 ft leash, collar or harness, training pouch

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and soft treats. Please park in Lot B5. The class fee is $60 and the registration deadline is April 12. For more information call 351-2546.

Parkland College 6:30 pm Advanced eBay Registration Theater Humpty Dumpty Is Missing Bright Lights Theatre presents “Humpty Dumpty is Missing,” a comedy-mystery for the entire family.

Follow Sammy Scoop, private eye, as he tries to solve the mystery of Humpty Dumpty’s disappearance by questioning several popular fairy tale characters: Bo Peep, Red Riding Hood, Mary Quite Contrary, Rip Van Winkle, Henny Penny, Peter Rabbit and his sisters, Rapunzel and her Prince, Billy Goat Gruff and a Troll. He must even question All the Kings Horses, All the King’s Men and, of course, the Wall itself. Grace Community Church 7:00 pm Auditions “Altar Egos” The Rantoul Theatre group will hold auditions for this comedy on American weddings. They are seeking a cast of up to 17 actors. Rantoul Theatre Group 7:00 pm Miscellaneous Japan House Group tours of the Japan House.

There is no fee. Japan House 1:00 pm Art Exhibits Symagery An Exhibition by Melissa Pokorny, Assistant Professor, School of Art and Design, UIUC. Using a variety of materials, Pokorny’s work investigates the collision of public and private space, architecture and the built environment, mediated nature and the real and imagined contingencies suggested by these forced conversations. Humanities Lecture Hall, 8:30 am Hua Nian, Paper Tearing Art Hua Nian, PAPER TEARING ART, a special Mother’s Day collection of images of mothers and children.

April 1 through May 14, at Page For All Ages Books, Music, Cafe & DVDs. A showing of recent original works by local artist and educator Hua Nian. The artworks of torn paper assembled in colorful, simple collages and elegantly framed are for sale and may be purchased by contacting the artist directly at nainart@gmail.com.

Pages for All Ages, 9:00 a.m.

Secrets Revealed = Secrets Shared This exhibit takes its inspiration from the Web site Postsecret.com, where people from all walks of life anonymously send in postcards upon which they have written a secret. Krannert Art Museum 9:00 am Krannert Uncorked With partners Sun Singer Wine & Spirits, The Corkscrew Emporium, Friar Tuck, Jim Gould and Bacaro, we’re showcasing the best in beverages. They may be tasted free of charge and will be available for purchase by the glass at discounted prices during the tasting. They will also be featured for the remainder

TRY GOING TO EVENTS MARKED BY THE LOGO. COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

of the week on performance nights.

Enjoy the sounds of various music performances. Free event. Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 5:00 pm Museums Exhibit — “A Whole Nother Game: Baseball in Central Illinois from the 1860s to the 1970s” Visit this year’s special exhibit featuring the history of area baseball from its beginnings during the Civil War through the Eastern Illinois League teams of the 1970s. No admission fee.

Early American Museum, 600 N. Lombard, Mahomet, 1:00 pm Poetry / Readings 2nd Annual Creative Writing Award Winners and Graduating Seniors Reading Night Come hear 2007 Award Winners read their stories and poems: Hear graduating rhetoric-creative writing majors read their best stuff. Cafe Paradiso 7:30 pm

FRI. MAY 04 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Straight from the Blues Deacons, Billy plays at Blues Restaurant every Tuesday & Friday, from 11:30 am to 2:30 pm Join us for the best BBQ in town with great music on the side. Blues 11:30 am Desafinado No cover. Cowboy Monkey 5:30 pm Blues & BBQ Featuring Zach Lacrone (solo blues 6-8 pm) Candy Foster and The Shades of Blue (9 pm-1am).

Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar 6:00 pm Last Party On Earth Pt. 1 Featuring Fessenden with special guests The Morning Call, Company of Thieves, Arrah & the Ferns, Manus, Operetta and The Blue Addiction. $7 at the door. Canopy Club 8:00 pm The Dave Lindsey Band $4 cover. Memphis on Main 8:30 pm Country Connection $1. Rose Bowl Tavern 9:00 pm Delta Kings Rock and blues. No cover. Phoenix 9:00 pm Brat Pack-80’s retro/party Come and enjoy sounds of the ’80s for a fun and exciting flashback into some of your favorite music.

Highdive 9:00 pm The Beauty Shop, Scurvine, Arrah and the Ferns, Duke of Uke $5/$7 after 10 pm. Iron Post 9:00 pm The Brat Pack All ’80s, all up-bear, all hits. $6.

Highdive 9:30 pm MANUS Live We’re coming out of the ashes to put on a show for anyone who likes to rock.

Cover TBA. Canopy Club 10:00 pm The Tossers with special guest jigGsaw Channeling the Celtic/folk music through the use of the fiddle, mandolin, banjo and tin whistle into punk rock through the use of guitar and drums. $10. Cowboy Monkey 10:00 pm

ART & THEATER Paintings by R.J. Karlstrom at Hedgegrow Bistro [Recent landscapes by painter R.J. Karlstrom are currently on exhibit in the Hedgerow Bistro at English Hedgerow in Urbana. The paintings can be viewed during lunch and dinner hours and will be on display indefinitely.] Hedgerow Bistro.

Paintings by R.J. Karlstrom at Cowboy Monkey [R.J. Karlstrom has added three new paintings to the “Dancer” series at Cowboy Monkey. The series portrays women in movement and continues indefinitely.] Cowboy Monkey.

Why Knot?

[For 20,000 years, humans have manipulated fibers to construct objects that aid in food gathering, commemorating the dead and protecting and beautifying the body and home. In “Why Knot?” the Spurlock Museum celebrates these artifacts and the skilled craftspeople who create them.] Spurlock Museum through August 26.

An Architect Collects: Robert D. Kleinschmidt and A Lifetime of Fine Arts Acquisitions [Robert D. Kleinschmidt is a Chicago-based architect whose professional beliefs seem to have continually influenced his collection of art. Throughout his schooling and career, Kleinschmidt has explored the integration of landscape and architecture, space, light, minimalism and cutting-edge modernism. All of these ideas are represented in his impressive collection of modern and contemporary art. This exhibition and accompanying catalogue highlight Kleinschmidt’s collection that is displayed in his Mies van der Rohe-designed apartment on North Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. The collection includes works by Joseph Albers, Harry Bertoia, Alberto Giacometti, Diego Giacometti, Jasper Johns, Sam Francis and many more.] Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavillion, through July 29 Spring Luncheon and Lecture [“When I Made Masks,” a talk by Toni Putnam. The event is open to the public, but reservations are required and can be made by calling 217-244-0516.] Champaign Country Club, May 4 at 12:00 p.m.

“Alter Egos” Auditions [The Rantoul Theatre Group will hold auditions for it’s summer (July, 2007) situation comedy wedding farce presentation, “Altar Egos: The I Do’s and Don’ts of an American Wedding” by Pat Cook. Director Larry Smith is seeking to cast of up to 17 actors, male and female, for this exciting stage comedy. The bride and groom should be between 16–20 years of age. Four adults for the parents’ roles, ages 21 plus, are needed.

Also required are a feisty Aunt Pam and a Grandmother of the bride-to-be, age appropriate. A “hippie” Uncle Josh, age 21 plus, will be the “best man of the groom.”

The kid sister of the bride, Jan McMasters, should be a feisty pre-teenager, ages 11-14. Other adults are required for supporting roles as the circus ringmaster,

Concerts Doctor of Musical Arts Recital Mi Hyn Jang playing viola. This concert is free. Smith Recital Hall 1:00 pm Guest Artist Recital Jack Quartet (string quartet). Music Building 7:30 pm Film Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) Shared vision inexplicably draws a group of people to a UFO in spite of family strain. Starring Richard Dreyfuss (135 minutes long). $5 admission. Virginia Theatre, 7:00pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Nothin’ but Rock. Silver Bullet Bar 8:00 pm Dj Bozak Hip hop, pop, funk, house, R&B, disco and old school. No cover.

football referee, wedding caterer, groom’s tailor, sports announcer, interpreter and of course, the groom’s girlfriend from long ago!] Rantoul Theatre Group’s Grissom Hall Theatre, May 3 from 7:00-9:00 p.m., May 5 from noon to 6:00 pm.

Symagery [An exhibition by Melissa Pokorny, Assistant Professor, School of Art and Design. Using a variety of materials, Pokorney’s work investigates the collection of public and private space, architecture and the built environment, mediated nature and the real and imagined contingencies suggested by these forced conversations.] Humanities Hall Lecture, IPRH, through May 11 Portraits from Elsewhere [A show of work by the artist Burcu Okay, featuring new mixed media.] Heartland Gallery through May 12 Secrets Revealed = Secrets Shared [This exhibit takes its inspiration from the Web site www.postsecret.com, where people from all walks of life anonymously send in postcards upon which they have written a secret.] Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavillion through May 13 Paper Tearing Art [A showing of recent original works by local artist and educator Hua Nian will be on display. The artworks— torn paper assembled in colorful, simple collages that are elegantly framed—are for sale and may be purchased by contacting the artist directly at nianart@ gmail.com.] Pages For All Ages through May 14 Commerce and Consumption: Works from the Permanent Collection [Photographic works from the museum’s permanent collection that are defined by marketing and advertising actions have been selected for this exhibition, an accompaniment to “Branded and On Display.”] Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavillion through May 13 A History of New [Explores what happens when a new technology is co-opted and subverted into a tool, supporting system or display medium for artists. University students and museum visitors are invited to help build a graphically rich time line of technological and scientific innovations and the resulting reactions and responses to these innovations. The time line will be displayed on the wall of the CANVAS Gallery and within the CANVAS itself.]

Krannert Art Museum through July 29 School of Art+Design BFA Exhibition The works of over one hundred BFA graduates in this third annual exhibition display a broad range of art and design studio practices that illustrate new and established technologies in material and virtual realms.

Participating students specialize in crafts, graphic design, industrial design, painting, sculpture, and photography.

Soma Ultralounge, 9:00 pm Deeplicious Discofied, Retrofilled, Globally Infused music.

DJ Mambo Italiano. House music.

No cover. Ko.Fusion, 11:00 pm Dancing Contra Dance Singles, couples, groups and families are invited to come dance to live music every first and third Friday of the month. All dances are taught/walked-through prior to dancing. Wear comfortable clothing and bring a pair of clean, soft-soled shoes to protect the wood floor. www.prairienet.org/contra/, Phillips Recreation Center, 8:00 pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Come and enjoy karaoke every second and fourth Friday. American Legion Post 71, 8:00 pm

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Recreation Sunrise Yoga Purchase a Group Fitness pass at CRCE Member Services. Unlimited passes are $50 and you may attend any type of session. Single session passes are $3 each.

Art Exhibits Parkland Art & Design Student Juried Exhibtion The Parkland Art Gallery proudly announces the annual Parkland College Art and Design Student Juried Exhibition. An excellent visual record of the learning that has taken place in the past year, the exhibit also publicly acknowledges the accomplishments made by these talented, dedicated and hard working students. Parkland Art Gallery Secrets Revealed = Secrets Shared This exhibit takes its inspiration from the Web site Postsecret.com,

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where people from all walks of life anonymously send in postcards upon which they have written a secret. Krannert Art Museum 9:00 am Dancer R.J. Karlstrom has added three new paintings to the series that portrays women in motion. Visit www.cowboymonkey.com for more information.

Cowboy Monkey, 11:00 am Art Notices Spring Luncheon and Lecture: When I Make Masks Metal artist Toni Putnam will be speaking. Reservations required; call 244-0516., Krannert Art Museum 12:00 pm Fundraisers 10th Annual Gala Live music by Crow Quintet, a silent auction for selected items, food and beverages. Tickets are $60 per person or $100 per couple. Parkland faculty, staff and alumni tickets are $50 each or two for $90. For event information, call 351-2464.

Donations benefit scholarship funds at Parkland College. Round Barn Banquet Center, 6:00pm Museums Why Knot?

For 20,000 years, humans have manipulated fibers to construct objects that aid in food gathering, commemorating the dead and protecting and beautifying the body and home. This exhibit celebrates these artifacts and the skilled craftspeople who create them. Spurlock Museum, 9:00 am Social Issues OUTZone Youth Center A social and wellness drop-in group for gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgendered and questioning teens (13-19) and their supportive teen friends and allies to meet and socialize with others like themselves in a safe enviornment. Independent Media Center, 7:00 pm

SAT. MAY 05 Live Bands Red Herring’s Birthday Show featuring Zmick, New Ruins, Triple Whip, Blanketarms, Santa, The Duke of Uke, Mondoro, Big Grove Zydeco, Corn Desert Ramblers $8 cover. Red Herring Coffee House 4:00 pm The Masters Table “Cowboy Church” Come as you are. Live The Masters Table Cowboy Band Gospel Music Church. Cowboy Church is coming together to worship in Spirit and Truth and to Fellowship around God’s word of abundant Life in love and songs. Christian Church, 2200 A E.University (Next door to Casey’s), 6:00 pm Cinco de Mayo with Snakebite Tuesday Snakebite Tuesday at Bar Louie Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with live music and The Captain Morgan crew.

Snakebite Tuesday is a live rock cover band that plays current hits through ’70s classics. Bar Louie 6:00 pm Last Party On Earth Pt. 2 Featuring Santa with special guests The Fuz, The Squares, Dorian Minor, Watery Domestic, Hotter Than June, Kristov’s Agenda and Roses N Sake. $7 at door. Canopy Club, 8:00 pm Country Connection $1. Rose Bowl Tavern, 9:00 pm Cinco D’Mayo With The Schwag-a tribute to the Grateful Dead. 9:00 pm

Fundraisers “Baby Bo Buddy” Silent Auction & Fundraiser Holy Cross Catholic Church is hosting the “Baby Bo Buddy” Silent Auction & Fundraiser to help with a local family’s expenses related to the care of their son, Bo who is at home on a ventilator.

There will be a craft sale, bake sale, refreshments, children’s activities and a silent auction. The silent auction will feature: tickets to national sporting events, gift certificates to more than 50 local restaurants, a variety of items from local businesses including hobbies, fitness, toys and games, flowers, movie and theater passes and activities. Admission is free and there will be door prizes awarded. Holy Cross Church 12:00 pm

Concerts Studio recital Piano students of Soo-Hee Hur. This concert is free. Smith Recital Hall, 5:00 pm Battle of the Bands — Metal night Battle of the Bands part 1 of 5. This is metal night with Murder Theory, Apriori, Winter in May, tba. Club 45, 7:00 pm Doctor of Musical Arts Recital Daniela Broderick playing piano. This concert is free. Smith Recital Hall 7:30 pm Film Close Encounters of the Third Kind(1977) Shared vision inexplicably draws a group of people to a UFO in spite of family strain. Starring Richard Dreyfuss (135 minutes long). $5 admission. Virginia Theatre 7:00pm

Volunteer ReStore Volunteer Orientation Habitat for Humanity seeks volunteers for our ReStore. Volunteers assist in all store duties, including customer service, pricing and displaying, pick ups and deliveries and cashiering.

All proceeds go to building more homes in Champaign County. To get involved, please attend our 45 minute orientation. All ReStore orientations begin on the main floor of the store. For more information, a current ReStore orientation schedule or to RSVP for an orientation, please contact Courtney at 355-6460 x116 or email volunteer@cuhabitat.org.

Habitat for Humanity 9:00 am Sculpture conservation workday Allerton Park contains more that 100 pieces of outdoor sculptures and garden ornaments from around the world. Volunteers assist with the periodic maintenance and cleaning of these pieces., Allerton Park, 9:00 am

DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Nothin’ but Rock. Silver Bullet Bar 8:00 pm Cinco SoulStep featuring DJ Bris Mueller with help from DJ Tim Delayney Spinning salsa, merengue, bachata mixed with old school, hip-hop and more. $5 cover. Cowboy Monkey, 9:00 pm DJ Bozak Hip Hop, pop, funk, house, R&B, disco and old school. No cover.

Soma Ultralounge, 9:00 pm Dancing West African dance classes Six classes of West African dance taught by Djibril Camara an international African ballet dancer and instructor from Guinea West Africa.

The classes are Saturdays and the last two Tuesdays throughout the month of May at the UC-IMC and the Lincoln Square mall. Individual class cost is $15 or call for all six classes for a promotional price. UC-IMC, 6:00 pm

SUN. MAY 06 Live Bands The Masters Table “Cowboy Church” 2200 A E.University (Next door to Casey’s), 6:00 pm Ronnie Baker Brooks Also appearing is: Tommy Castro Band, Magic Dick and Deanna Bogart.

For tickets, call (217)0 356-2337.

Highdive 7:00 pm Legendary Rhythm and Blues Revenue featuring Tommy Castro Band, Ronnie Baker Brooks, Magic Dick and Deanna Bogart $18/$20 at the door. Highdive, 7:00 pm New Sound Sundays with From the Top of Trees, Arsel Arcaya and Amanda Sena $1 cover & $1 cans. Canopy Club 8:00 pm Crystal River No cover. Rose Bowl Tavern 9:00 pm New Sound Sundays featuring From the Tops of Trees, Arsel Arcaya, No Fate and C.P.X. A WPGU Production. $1 cover.

Canopy Club, 9:00 pm

Workshops Home Buyer’s Seminar Learn about budgeting, pre-qualification, inspection, closing and other important steps in the home buying process. Discover helpful home maintenance tips and what to do if financial difficulties occur after the purchase. Fee is $20 per couple (book included) and registration deadline is May 5. Call 351-2235, Business Development Center, 9:00 am Safe Sitteres Class Babysitters age 11-13 are invited to participate in this program that teaches adolescents how to be safe, nurturing babysitters. Call 383-6962 to register. There is a class fee. Carle Foundation Hospital, 9:30 am Recreation 5K Fun Run/Walk Beverages, refreshments and raffle prizes will follow the race and all ages and fitness levels are encouraged to attend.

Fee: $7/$10.50 and includes a race t-shirt. Registration is from 8-8:45 am on May 5. The race begins at 9. For more information, call 3982550. Hessel Park, 9:00 am

Concerts Doctor of Musical Arts Project Recital Chu-Chun Liang playing piano. This concert is free. Smith Recital Hall 11:00 am Doctor of Musical Arts Recital Min-Li Hwang playing cello. This concert is free. Smith Recital Hall, 2:00 pm “A Disney Concert” The Parkland Pops choir will be performing an assortment of classic Disney tunes. Parkland College, 3:00 pm Doctor of Musical Arts Project Recital Suzanne Crookshank playing clarinet. This concert is free. Smith Recital Hall 5:00 pm

Miscellaneous Environmental Education Center Open Explore interactive display, see live animals and enjoy natural history exhibits at the Environmental Education Center. Join a nature hike at 1 pm. No admission fee.

Environmental Education Center, Homer Lake Forest Preserve, Homer, 10:00 am

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Music of the English Baroque The Baroque Artists of ChampaignUrbana present a concert of English baroque music. McKinley Church and Foundation 7:30 pm Brad Paisley Concert With special guests: Taylor Swift, Jack Ingram and Kellie Pickler.

Tickets are $42.75 and $32.75.

Assembly Hall, 7:30 pm Brad Paisley with special guests Taylor Swift, Jack Ingram and Kellie Pickler $33-$43 admission. Assembly Hall 7:30 pm

Last Party on Earth Pt. 1: Company of Thieves Canopy, May 4, 7:30pm, $7

DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Nothin’ but Rock. Silver Bullet Bar 8:00 pm Dancing Salsa Sundays featuring DJ Bris Free dance lessons until 8:30 pm followed by open floor dancing. No cover. Cowboy Monkey, 7:00 pm.

Workshops Fifth Fifteenth Century Conference For information on the conference and discussion schedule, visit the Web site at https://netfiles.uiuc. edu/rwb/www/15c/program.html.

Fees are $60 for conference or $25 per day. Sponsored by the University Program in Medieval Studies, Department of English, and Richard III Society., Levis Faculty Center 12:00 p.m.

Theater Humpty Dumpty Is Missing Grace Community Church 7:00 pm Miscellaneous Spring Brunches at Allerton Brunches will be served at 11 am and 2 pm inside the mansion. Cost is $15.95 per adult and $5.95 for children 10 and under. Price includes a mansion wristband. Call now to make your reservation at 333-3287. Allerton Park, 11:00 am Art Exhibits Commerce and Consumption: Works from the Permanent Collection Photographic works from the museum’s permanent collection that are defined by marketing and advertising actions have been selected for this exhibition, accompaniment to “Branded and On Display.”

Visit http://www.kam.uiuc.edu/ for daily museum hours., Krannert Art Museum, 9:00 am Fundraisers “Caring for Camden Benefit” Featuring Visions & Vibrations DJ/VJ. Food, raffle, prizes; auction starts at 2pm. Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar 1:00 pm Museums Exhibit — “A Whole Nother Game: Baseball in Central Illinois from the 1860s to the 1970s” Visit this year’s special exhibit featuring the history of area baseball from its beginnings during the Civil War through the Eastern Illinois League teams of the 1970s. No admission fee. Museum hours: 1-5 pm March through December; extended hours of 10 am to 5 pm Mondays through Saturdays in June, July and August. Early American Museum, 600 N. Lombard, Mahomet 1:00 pm Why Knot?

For 20,000 years, humans have manipulated fibers to construct objects that aid in food gathering, commemorating the dead, and protecting and beautifying the body and home. This exhibit celebrates these artifacts and the skilled craftspeople who create them. Spurlock Museum, 12:00 pm

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MYSPACE.COM/COMPANYOFTHIEVES

Although the Canopy usually can draw a crowd with a two-day-fest of great music, one of the mentionable musicians, The Company of Thieves, is a must-see.

The thrill of discovery is always something I mention, but it’s truly a wonderful experience. I can’t help but to think everything happens for a reason (hah); and by hearing good things from a few randoms about the Company of Thieves I was compelled to listen to them online when I noticed their name in the Last Party on Earth line up.

Now, I’m scheduling my May 4 around hearing their set.

To say the least, the singer’s airy voice and the band’s easy groove is still under my skin, leaving behind the feeling that the band is somewhat dangerous in their intoxicating music. The singer’s voice is clear, and high with a flowing wispy saunter, while the band follows with a perfect match that has a slight contrast, but still reflective approach to their beat and soaring notes.

They stole my vote, but will they capture my heart? I’ll soon find out.

—Caitlin Cremer

Rape Crisis Services — Crisis hotline volunteers/ medical advocates If you are interested in training to volunteer to provide support and advocacy to survivors of sexual assault, Rape Crisis Services will begin classes on Monday, May 14. The 40-hour training program will be held at the Community United Church of Christ at 805 S. 6th St. in Champaign from 4-7 PM Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays through June 7 and Saturday, May 19, from 9-4 pm. If you would like more information, please contact Jennifer Scott at scottj@awomansfund.org or call 355-5214.

MON. MAY 07 Live Bands Nashville Pussy with special guests The Resinators and Artimus Pyledriver $10 cover. Highdive, 9:00 pm Open Mic Night with hosts Mike Ingram and Brandon T. Washington Acoustic. No cover. Cowboy Monkey 10:00 pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Nothin’ but Rock. Silver Bullet Bar 8:00 pm

Meetings Informational Meeting The Conservatory of Central Illinois in cooperation with the School of Arts at Grace announce a new band program to begin this summer.

Under the direction of Mark Cornell, the CIRCUIT youth band is organized to provide instrumental ensemble experience for students who do not have that opportunity on a regular basis or who wish to gain more experience. Band open to anyone with 1+ year of study on their instrument and can read music. Grace Community Church, 7:00 pm

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Italian Table Italian conversation on Mondays. All are welcome. Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 12:00 pm Fundraisers “When in Doubt, Don’t Throw It Out” The annual dump & run garage sale is a fundraising program that the University Y runs. They collect reusable items, and sell the collected items in order to reduce litter and consumer waste. University YMCA, 9:00 am Mind /Body / Spirit New Class Taught by Doctorate of Metaphysics A new class in metaphysics is now forming and will be taught by Dr. Pam Blosser. Dr. Pam has received all the degrees offered by the School of Metaphysics and has 30 years of experience. Discover your hidden potential. For more information or to pre-register call 344-2270. 1009 E. Main, Urbana 7:30 pm

TUE. MAY 08 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Straight from the Blues Deacons, Billy plays at Blues Restaurant every Tuesday & Friday, from 11:30 am to 2:30 pm. Join us for the best BBQ in town with great music on the side.

Blues 11:30 am Crystal River No cover. Rose Bowl Tavern, 9:00 pm Illini 4000 Benefit $6 cover. Canopy Club, 9:00 pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Nothin’ but Rock. Silver Bullet Bar 8:00 pm

SubVersion featuring DJ Vermis and DJ Nhyrvana Electro, industrial, prog-house, synthpop and ’80s. No cover. Cowboy Monkey 10:00 pm Chris O A blend of downtempo and deep house. No cover. Boltini Lounge, 10:30 pm Dancing Subversion Weekly industrial, EBM, electro dance night at the Highdive in downtown Champaign. Now featuring DJ Vermis and DJ Evily. $2 cover, $1 drafts. +19 to enter. Highdive, 10:00 pm Karaoke Karaoke Karaoke with Randy Miller. Free.

Bentley’s Pub, 9:30 pm Workshops Stress Reduction Workshop Please call 398-5999 to reserve your seat(s). Free.

The effects of stress can take a great toll on the body. From tension headaches to fatigue, stress blocks our happiness and can cause physical disorders such as heart disease, irritable bowel syndrome and chronic pain. In this workshop, Dr. Tunstall shares tips for reducing stress and making modifications for a happier life.

Discover underlying behaviors that contribute to your stress and make the decision to reduce stress today. You’ll gain an improved ability to cope with stress triggers, increased energy, emotional and mental clarity, the ability to relax and improved feelings of self-worth

and physical ability. Savoy Recreational Center, 7:00 pm Meetings Alzheimer’s support group Call 383-3090 for more information.

Carle Arbours, 7:00 pm Illini Folk Dance Society Beginners welcome. Call 398-6686, for more information. Tuesday and Saturdays. Illini Union, 8:00 pm Fundraisers Sambar Masala Dosas along with the best of South-Indian cuisine will be served.

The only one in a 40 mile radius.

Proceeds go to Asha for Education.

Red Herring Vegetarian Restaurant, 6:00 pm Family Fun Babies’ Lap Time Babies and their caregivers are invited to this program of songs, stories and rhymes, ages birth to 24 months (with an adult). Free, no registration required. Second program 10:30-11:00. Urbana Free Library, 9:45 am

WED. MAY 09 Live Bands Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7:00 pm Feudin’ Hillbilly’s No cover. Rose Bowl Tavern, 9:00 pm Unwed Sailor with special guests Exhale Look Down and Kindle and Sangamon A Jay Goldberg Events Production. $8 in advance. Canopy Club, 9:00 pm Feudin’ Hillbillys Free events. Rose Bowl Tavern, 9:00 pm

Acoustic Wednesday featuring Adam Wolfe Free cover. Geo’s, 9:30 pm WEFT Sessions featuring Filtered Through Free event. WEFT 90.1 FM, 10:00 pm DJ DJ / Gentlemen’s Club Nothin’ but Rock. Silver Bullet Bar 8:00 pm DJ Bozak Spinning jazz, down tempo, funk, hip hop, chill disco. No cover. Cowboy Monkey 10:00 pm Dancing Tango Dancing Dancing lessons are at 7:30 and general dancing is at 8:30. No cover.

Cowboy Monkey, 7:30 pm Tango Dancing with special guest Joe Grohens No Cover. Cowboy Monkey, 7:30 pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Come and enjoy karaoke every Wednesday night. Geovantis, 10:00 pm Lectures/discussions “Electronic Distribution of Airplane Software and Data” As airplanes become more connected with their online environment, opportunities for security attacks are opened up. Siebel Center, 4:00 pm Introductory Arabic Course Learn the Arabic alphabet, construct Arabic noun and verb sentences and be able to comprehend and engage in short conversations about familiar topics. The course fee is $150, which includes the textbook. Central Illinois Mosque and Islamic Center, 6:30 pm

Workshops Planning and Managing Change Registration The ability to manage change has become a key competency for managers. Learn how to handle change, help others move successfully through the change process, anticipate the impact of change, engage the support of others and more.

This workshop is $195.49. For registration, call 351-2235., Business Development Center 9:00am Mothers Acting Up Mothers have been masters at negotiation, resource allocation and policy creation within the walls of our homes. Mothers Acting Up (MAU) unites mothers in taking spirited action to prioritize children with a focus on shifting resources.

This hands-on course will inspire, educate and give you tools of action that will culminate in a local Mother’s Day Party. Alice Beck will be facilitating with a $10 course fee.

University YMCA 4:30 pm Meetings Public Input Meeting The focus of the Design Study is on beautifying and integrating at the Boneyard Creek with surrounding development. This may include pedestrian connections, landscaping, eating areas, etc. The public open house is an opportunity for the public to share their views on what they would like to see happen with the Boneyard Creek. Urbana Civic Center, 7:00 pm

activity time. Free, no registration required. Urbana Free Library, 10:30 am Mind /Body / Spirit Intro to Egyptian-style belly dance Sessions are designed for those with little or no previous exposure to Middle Eastern dance or for those who want a refresher before moving on to the ongoing class. Classes build upon core movements and establish safe and proper technique as the foundation. Classes introduce rhythms, movements, veil work, history and culture. $45 per 6-week session. Independent Media Center, 7:00 pm Volunteer ReStore Volunteer Orientation Habitat for Humanity seeks volunteers for our ReStore. Volunteers assist in all store duties, including customer service, pricing and displaying, pick ups and deliveries and cashiering. All proceeds go to building more homes in Champaign County. To get involved, please attend our 45-minute orientation. All ReStore orientations begin on the main floor of the store. For more information, a current ReStore orientation schedule, or to RSVP for an orientation, please contact Courtney at 355-6460 x116 or email volunteer@cuhabitat.org.

Habitat for Humanity 5:30 pm

Family Fun “Toddler Time: Sense-abilities” Children 2-4 years old with an adult are invited to join in this story and

Shouting Ground Technologies

Full Service Corporate Network Support Affordable SDSL and T1 Rates Inter-Office Private Networking Reliable Web Hosting VoIP Professional IT Services

105 S. Walnut Downtown Champaign

admin@shout.net www.shout.net 217.351.7921

sounds from the scene

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER | CU CALENDAR

Carrie’s: 217•352•3231

Carrie’s fabulous to funky

Shoe Sale!

10% off full stock of summer shoes!

May 3 - May 20

Contemporary clothing, jewelry, accessories, & shoes

107 N. Walnut downtown champaign

217.359.2195

Mon-Thu Fri-Sat Sun

Thursday, May 3rd

“The Revival” with your host Chris-O $ 4 Mojitos (mango/raspberry/watermleon) $ 5 Specialty Martinis

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10:30 - 5:30 10:30 - 5:00 11:00 - 4:00

fun and functional

• Cool Lamps • Fun Clocks • Thymes Soaps and Lotions • Pacifica Candles and Soaps • Funky Toys • Sterling Jewelry • Unusual Gifts • More Kimonos

Rebecca’s 217•239•0148

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120 N. Neil 352-9756

• Vintage Jewelry • Vintage Clothing • Collectibles • Antiques • Retro Shirts • Boutiqe Clothing (Bryn Walker, Cut Loose, Flax)

Mon-Sat 10-5 Sun 1-5

204 N. Neil St, Downtown Champaign

It’s no secret that circles is THE place to find summer shoes!

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111 north walnut street champaign 217.398.6982 All that’s missing

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INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER | CU CALENDAR

sounds from the scene